#pet death talk
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doing end of life preparations for my kitty prism. gonna share some pics as i take em in the time we have left <3
nappin with my head at the foot of my bed to hang out
prism helping to model my woe.begone postcards one last time
tha boiz: final tour (i think theyve got great album cover vibes here if only the staging were better)
then i turned the light off for a bit and they got even cuter when i wasn't looking!!!! 0:< prism doesn't usually cuddle with anyone but me, so this was nice to see.
here's a last pic from before this latest major health downturn. look at those silly paws!
currently accepting requests for kisses, skritches, and any other messages and shows of affection to be passed on.
#cats#animal death talk#pet death talk#euthanasia talk#sage original post#sage speaks#sage pets#prism posting#this man is 17 years old and has a bad case of the hyperthyroidisms#he was born on my tenth birthday and has been glued to me ever since#he doesnt like anybody else that much but he's softened up a bit in the last year or so#he is not a good boy at all he is a brat and a jackass and probably the living being i love most in the whole world
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we found a vet today who does at-home um. its too hard for me to say directly or i will fucking cry more than i already am. but. you know. to have us say goodbye.
we're thinking we're gonna have..only a few more days. it keeps shattering my heart with how late we caught it and how fast things are going downhill.
right now we're just. looking for signs that shes in too much pain and when to have the vet come.
#also thanks to my mutuals who have replied to my posts about this i rlly appreciate even if i dont have brainpower to respond. ily#i dont wanna like. fucking Broadcast all this shit but making post help gather my thoughts and#my thoughts are like fucking soup spilled on the ground rn.#pet death talk#marcel vent post
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am i the only one incredibly uncomfortable by people bringing up jellie on scars streams. like if scar wants to talk about her he can, but people saying "im so sorry about jellie" when scar is just hanging out with people and having a good time is just. no.
maybe its an overreaction from me but it feels incredibly rude and weird to bring this up randomly when it has nothing to do with whats currently happening.
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Hey can you comment or message me something? Anything at all, really. Just feeling really invisible and trapped in the cycle of isolating grief again. (Yesterday was a death anniversary and brain is being a dick.) *Please note in the message if you do not want a public response or any response.
#personal#batwynn talks#just uh#anything really#share something going on in your life#or a pet picture#or even vent at me that’s ok too#tw: death#tw: grief
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This might be weird but I think our cats might be siblings? I've never seen another cat with that fish scale pattern. He died suddenly last May but he'd be 2.5 years old now. I got him from a coworkers grandma in Boston.
Ah oh no, I’m sorry to hear you lost your cat so young… I’m touched that my cat reminds you of him. I would guess that they aren’t siblings, though. Perilla Pickle is a dilute tabby tortie, or “torbie”— it’s maybe not one of the most common coat patterns, but many cats have it! She also from Maine and not Massachusetts. But even if she and your cat are likely not siblings, they are still cute cousins!
I can’t post about my cat without attaching another picture of her:
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I wanna thank everyone who donated. It helped with prescriptions, medicated food, and fluid treatments. Biscuit just couldn't fight it. We put up a hell of a fight for two weeks though but I called it today. Spent the night cuddling her and letting her eat what she could stomach of a churu.
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I wasn't initially going to say anything, but i. honestly, i really just, could use some emotional support, i guess.
there's an awful lot going on in my life right now that's making me pretty miserable. to top it off, I recently got news from my dad that our dog, Indiana's health has gotten a pretty bad prognosis. the long story short is, he could possibly have cancer, and while there's surgery that could help, he's 15 years old, and even the prep exam for the surgery could be fatal for him. so it's unlikely that we'll end up going through with it, and a really hard decision has to be made about whether to let him go now while things are still mostly okay, or wait until things deteriorate.
I moved away from home for the first time just six months ago, and one of the things I was most upset about was leaving my dog behind, knowing he was getting old. I live an hour and a half away from home now, and I have been able to go home to visit just once in that time. I've seen him only once in the last six months.
Indiana is everything to me. I know he can't be with us forever, but the pain of not being able to be there during the last months of his life is destroying me. I have no idea what things are going to look like, if we'll have another year or two with him being in the world, or if I'm looking at a world where he isn't there anymore as soon as the next few weeks. I'm working 40 hours a week and I have a cat to think about now, so I can't just drop everything and go home to be near him for a while as much as I want to.
I'm not asking for anything in this post like surgery money or anything. Just......support, I guess. Living alone means there's no one to give me a hug most days, and I'm coping badly with it all. It's just another piece of bad news that's breaking me, and all I want is to feel a little less alone in facing it.
I just want people to know how much I love him. He is the sweetest, kindest, most loving dog I've ever known. He was found in a junkyard living in a truck and when we adopted him he didn't even have a name, just a number which was the date he was taken in by the shelter. He has a tiny little tail that wiggles like crazy when he's happy. He loves sitting in the car, not even to go anywhere, just to hang out. He's a huge fan of cheese and memorized the sound of a cheese stick opening so that he could get a small bite of mine whenever I had one. He's so good at "shake" that when you have a treat for him, he will paw the air wildly with one paw and then the other to show you just how good he is at doing it and how much he deserves his treat. Sometimes he gets the zoomies so insanely that he has to bolt all around the yard, in and out the door so fast that you'd think he was a cheetah in another life. He can turn on a dime. He's scared of fireworks and loud sounds because we made the mistake of taking him with us to a historical reenactment once and all the muskets and cannons scared him. He learned how to pull a cart once but we never kept up with it. He knows the word "rabbit" and loves to chase them around but never catches them. When he's happy to see you he'll press his whole head into your knees and lean so much that he almost knocks you over. He likes to press his whole body against you. When he lays down he sometimes splays his paws out to either side like a seal. His favorite toy is his stuffed rabbit and he cuddles with it all by himself.
I love him, so, so, so, so much. I can't be with him right now and it's killing me. I'm grieving him before he's even gone because I can't comprehend a world where he isn't in it and I don't know how else to prepare myself.
I don't know how to end this. He's still with us right now, but I don't know for how much longer. Please hug your pets for me tonight. Hold them close and remind them how much you love them. We don't get to have them in our lives forever as unfair as it is. I only wish it could be a little longer.
#lulu talks#pet death tw#i mean. not yet. god. but the mention is there.#fuck. i can't believe we just have to keep going to work every day while the world is ending.
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i must admit. i feel like i’m suffocating
#fray.txt#i miss toos so bad and idk how to talk about it cuz i feel like people expect you to get over pet death quickly#but she wasn’t just a dog to me. and even if she was. shouldn’t matter ..#i miss her guys. i don’t like being alive without her
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Sorry for not being active, dog decided she wants to die this week LOL
#she's trying!! girl's old and has been to the vet twice since last thursday#pet death tw#death tw#queenie talks
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my dog died yesterday so everyone look at how cute she was
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never quite finished this, but it’s been about 3 months since we had to part with our beloved kitty, Minni, and i sketched this a bit after she had passed and a lynx happened to visit our family members’ yard
#rat.pov#pet loss#pet death#animal death#we're going to bury her urn on their backyard today#miss her so much. i want to sniff her fur and hear her silly little sounds again:(#want her to jump on me and to sleep on my chest#she was the best baby ever#we're making a photo memory album of her and it helps a little to know we took so so soso many pics of her#i did it all the time#.#also i'm feeling the urge to say sorry for being so quiet after#trying to establish talking more but life has been a lot lately#i have things to post i just want to feel like it...#not going anywhere but will be back also :/
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My old dog Tibby isnt doing so good the past couple days, he’s at the vet now but I’m so worried he’s going to be have be put down (hes at the vet now) so I wanted to share some of the pictures I have of him here, he’s the happiest old man you’ve ever seen~
(The brown lab is Boo his little brother)
#zeeara talks#pet death tw#pet death#tagging just in case I dont want this post to stress anyone out#but pls enjoy our happy old man Tibby
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:/ Crappy start to the weekend. Our sick ratty Quail took a sudden sharp downhill turn after 2 weeks of antibiotics. We're expecting she'll either be gone in the morning, or I'll be taking her in for emergency euthanasia.
Quail is only 2 years (would be next month), but she was a craigslist rescue, and the lady had impulse purchased her from the pet store. So her poor health due to respiratory issues isn't surprising, but still sucks. We've had her since she was around 5 weeks old, and she's always been a sweet baby. I wish we could do more for her.
#fbw rambles#my pets#ratty girls#euthanasia#animal death#animal loss#pet death#pet loss#animal illness#forever the worst part of having small mammals#tbh we started talking about maybe setting up a properly controlled CO2 container for the future#only to be used in emergencies like this where they're likely to be gone by morning#I'd still always prefer vet euthanasia but#if they're this bad off and can avoid the added stress of travel and strange environment....#idk yet#just blah
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This Death That I Chose: Chapter 6
1171 words
CW: past abuse, implied past noncon, conditioning, self harm, pet whump, negative self-talk
First, Previous, Masterlist, Next
~~~
Tao and Marina raided Faye’s kitchen and made themselves chamomile tea; Marina’s idea, she was desperate to calm her nerves. They sat at the kitchen counter – meticulously clean, like all the spaces Faye occupied – and sipped their steaming mugs in silence.
Tao wouldn’t talk – couldn’t talk – because his head was full of the worst-case scenario. If the community voted to trade Karlo, Tao would have to get him out himself. Marina would have to come with, obviously, and maybe the three of them could make a run for Canada – but Karlo wouldn’t want to go, he would still believe he was putting Tao and his mother in danger. What would Tao have to do to force him to come with? How -
His thoughts were interrupted by the front door opening, and two sets of footsteps coming in through the waiting room. Becca and Faye were back. Marina and Tao exchanged a nervous glance, and rose to meet them.
The four of them convened at the bottom of the stairs. Becca wasted no time.
“We voted to protect him.”
All the air rushed out of Tao.
“Oh, thank God!”
Becca scoffed.
“It was fucking unanimous, Tao, did you really have that little faith in our people?”
“So what happens now?” asked Marina.
“Well, given that we learned from Lark – sorry, Karlo – that the Commander more than likely knows our location,” Becca’s eyes met Tao’s, “We’ve decided to give this place up and make our final push for Canada.”
They’d been nested in their current location for years, striking out and bringing home survivors and defectors. The little neighborhood had become their home, and Tao couldn’t help but feel a pang of sorrow at the prospect of leaving it. Making a final exodus northward had always been the end game, but the hope of finding more people to join them had kept them in place for a long time.
“So we need to start packing,” said Tao.
“We need to start packing yesterday,” Becca nodded, “We have no idea how much time we have before the Commander runs out of patience and brings down hell on us.”
“How long will it take to prepare?”
“Honestly?” exhaustion flickered across Becca’s face, “I have no idea. We’ve been here so long… It’s going to be hard for people to leave things behind.”
Tao recalled Marina’s home – her afghans, her books, her photos. He glanced at her, and found her looking fiercely determined.
“I can leave anything behind as long as I have Karlo,” she said.
“You gonna tell him?” Faye cut in, “He might make another run for it when he finds out.”
“I’m not lying to him,” Tao said immediately.
“Wait, what do you mean, ‘another run for it?’” Marina asked, frowning.
Tao sucked in a breath and reluctantly explained Karlo’s escape attempt. He left out the young man’s reaction to hearing his mother’s name. Marina listened silently, tears welling up in her eyes.
“He really thinks he has to go back, doesn’t he?” she said when Tao was finished.
“Yeah,” said Tao, “He does.”
~~~
Lark needed to go home.
The longer he stayed with the rebels, the more he was being… corrupted. Lark was a perfect pet. He never spoke about his life before, he was so infallible he never even thought about it. That was how he had survived.
There had been four of them, in the beginning. Four young men, taken from different conquered towns.
There had been four soldiers with cattle prods, there to teach them what the Commander wanted from them.
It took four months, in a little shack on the outskirts of the Capital.
Asked to go home? Shock.
Didn’t obey? Shock.
Called out for their mother? Shock.
Talked amongst themselves? Shock.
Didn’t submit? Shock.
Cried? Shock. Or worse.
In one of the brief moments they were alone, in the dim and grime, Lark had held their hands and told them, “It’s easier if you just don’t think about home. Don’t think about your family. Don’t think about anything.”
They’d looked at him like he was crazy.
Even him.
In the end, Lark was the one who walked out of that building, while the others were carried. But Lark was under no illusions. Karlo was dead, too. Lark was a walking corpse. A beautiful, incorruptible corpse that obeyed every order of its master.
A master he was going to return to, one way or another.
Lark needed to get home before Karlo was resurrected.
As soon as Tao and Marina had left the room – no, as soon as their backs were turned – Lark had started shaking like a leaf. He couldn’t control it. He was supposed to be able to, but he just couldn’t, nor could he stop the sob that bubbled out of him.
I want my mom I want my mom I want -
NOT ALLOWED.
Crying wasn’t allowed. Thinking about her wasn’t allowed. Lark was breaking the Commander’s law, and the rules he had set up for himself in order to function. But there was no one here to punish him.
“What do you do when I’m not around, pet?”
Lark viciously bit his teeth into the pad of his right thumb, drawing blood and nearly separating a chunk of flesh. He froze there for a moment, panting, like an animal making sure its prey was dead. Then he licked away the blood and closed a fist around the thumb to apply pressure. He held the fist in front of him, and it was steady and still. No new tears ran down his cheeks. He breathed, deep and slow.
My name is Lark.
I am a good pet.
I do not cry.
I do not think.
I need to go home.
He sank back into the pillows, rolling the mantra around in his head. He descended into a hypnotic calm, separating himself from the world. Either the rebels would trade him back, or the Commander would come and get him. He was going home either way, and there was nothing more he could do to sway the outcome. He was just a pet, after all.
He was nearly asleep when there was a soft knock on the door. He opened his eyes as Tao entered. The man crossed halfway to the bed before stopping.
“The community voted,” Tao said simply, “We’re going to keep you safe.”
So you’ve chosen to die. Lark almost said it out loud, but caught himself. Good pets aren't opinionated like that. Good pets don’t talk the way he’d been talking to Tao.
I can’t fall out of practice.
(But Mom -)
NOT ALLOWED.
Lark could see it clearly now; he needed to convince these people that he was not worth keeping. They had no idea what he was; once they did, why would they want a disgusting sex toy around?
So he nodded. And he lifted his fist, slowly uncurling it, the dried blood sticky and the re-exposed wound stinging.
“Can you help me, sir?” he asked softly.
~~~
First, Previous, Masterlist, Next
Taglist: @angst-after-dark, @sunshiline-writes, @flowersarefreetherapy, @pigeonwhumps, @whump-em, @morning-star-whump, @thecyrulik
#whump#whump fic#whump writing#this death that i chose#pet whump#cw past abuse#cw past noncon#cw conditioning#cw self harm#cw negative self-talk
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the day we met, the day we said goodbye
#this has been an original post#personal spewage#my cat wally#noticed the parallel while going through old photos just now#he even slept on that same red blanket in his final days#idk if he even remembered the day we brought him home#but i hope it brought him comfort anyway#you can tell the grief is getting easier bc i can talk abt it now#tw pet death
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17 long years you've been by my side. All those times you stole my chair and slapped my face to get under the blankets at night. My one reason for staying during the days I didn't have anything else. My best friend and my favourite little pest
Goodnight Cookie, sleep tight
#herne talks#tw pet death#i've dreaded this day for such a long time#at times i was in such a dark pit i genuinely didn't know how i was going to cope if/when something happened to her#but now she's gone and she's tucked in all comfy in the earth i feel a lot more at peace than i thought i would#i was with her the whole time and she was still purring up until she couldn't anymore#and ultimately that's all that matters
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