Write about your paracosms!!
I just read back some stuffs I wrote about a paracosm I created based on a dream like 5-7 years ago and I am sobbing. Yes, it's written badly. Yes, I'm judging myself a little but still-
Most of it is nonsense since I forgot some of the lore (like there are a lot of characters being mentioned with absolutely 0 clue of who they are & I can't remember shit about them so it's v frustrating) but I'm so happy I still thought about writing and keeping parts of this story because it's amazing and exciting and I'm so proud of myself, I can't believe my brain came up with all of that based on one fucked up dream!?
My point is : write it down. Doesn't need to be well written or make 50 pages but one day your future self might find it back and be amazed at how creative you are. One day, you might miss these worlds so keep a trace of it to help you remember how awesome they are.
These will make good memories to look back to, I promise.
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The funny thing to me about this entire loki series and the previous movies loki has been in is how the meaning of glorious purpose changes. in the movies, this has to do with the absence of love in her life, and how she's looking to replace love for worship. she tried (and succeeded) to get her brother banished from asgard to try to be the center of attention. to try to be someone of her family. to be loved by them.
in the avengers movie, she attempts to hold new york hostage in order to be worshipped as the goddess she is and to be praised (wanting to get similar treatment to what we saw in ragnarok) she was trying to replace love for worship.
now in the loki series, she's convinced by some old man she gets this huge crush on and goes through this entire mission to go out and look for a variant of herself that's been causing some sort of havoc to the TVA and we get this weird interpretation of self love and self acceptance (more like selfcest but whatever) which sure. loki learns self love in a very self way but before that im pretty sure they gets this whole jealousy rant by the same old guy who convinced them to go on this mission. glorious purpose changes here too, its not about being meant to be worshipped, its about self acceptance and love, however its still not fully developed.
IN SEASON TWO HOWEVER, loki discovers over and over that his glorious purpose is that damn old man. like, everytime. something goes wrong or right, its mobius who's there. not casey, not o.b, not sylvie, not b-15, its mobius. in the beginning, its mobius who risks getting his skin peeled off for loki and their painful looking timeslipping. its mobius who's approval loki seeks when doing stuff like magic and mischief. its mobius who loki looks for every time. in episode 5, the timeslipping leads her to mobius/dom three times. loki claims they need to find sylvie but even when they did find sylvie, they are led to mobius/dom again.
"what do you really want"
"its not about what, its about who"
LOKI SAYS AFTER STARING AT MOBIUS FOR AN ACTUAL ETERNITY.
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uhoh empire sib meta time.
Courtesy of that last rb by @iinfernal thinking very hard (very affectionately) about love in the form of, we are going to work to keep each other on track. Especially with Caleb and Beau. Because like. its not just about newfound acceptance, people who will give you the benefit of the doubt and help you improve, people who see your worst and love you anyway, people who will forgive you.
Like its about that! But its also about- i trust you to drag me back if i stray. i trust you to call me out, to push back. i am putting my back to you- you will protect it, and you will also pull me back if i wander.
The first big backstory reveal between Beau and Caleb was an exchange, not a kindness. it was, tell me why you are afraid of fire, and ill get you into the library. Caleb laid out some of the corners of his guilty conscience, to Nott, with all of her faith in him, (he is my boy), to Beau, with her skepticism and brusque curiosity, and it was not meant as a soft gesture. It was not a call for forgiveness, or absolution- it was an item for barter, a warning, an admission of guilt.
and Beau- still unsure, still rough around the edges and rude and defensive and angry, shell-shocked and out of her depth did not provide forgiveness, or kindness. She said something along the lines of- good god, you know thats fucked up, right? i didnt ask for this, what the fuck.
She said something like: you know what you need to do now, then, right? prevent this guy from hurting more people. This is what you've gotta do now, I think- this is what we'll do-
And Caleb gets into the library, and casts haste on Beau in a bar fight, and there is something to be said about love shaped like a willingness to disagree, to push back, to say things wrong but try to say it anyway.
Caleb, and Beau, arguing. Beau is suspicious and Caleb is ready to run, and "the problem with friends is you have to care about them". Running into old injuries and boundaries, working to learn them, to fight to communicate. Apologies that are awkward but sincere. Kindness that is misshappen but intentional.
Caleb and Beau, butting heads, poking fun, trusting the other person to be suspicious of them, when it really counts.
"Can we keep each other straight?"
Some fifty episodes apart: have faith in us, just a little bit? dont run.
follow your own advice. don't go.
Caleb, vision and hearing gone and flung out ahead, placing a hand on Beau's shoulder. Lead me well, lead me straight, bring me back if I stray. Caleb and Beau, going in circles about what to do as the world ends, ambition and magic and time and guilt, and entities at war. Worried about evil, about going wrong, needing the clear vision of someone who loves you and will not eternally forgive you.
"I'm worried I am exactly what he said I was."
"Not yet."
God just. Love as keeping each other on track. Beau and Caleb, as the only ones to get the eyes, afflicted by searching too hard for knowledge. what a horror, to have you and your tether tossed into an unknown spiral. what a comfort- if it was any of them, at least it was both. The Mighty Nein, making contingency plans, Yasha sticking close to caleb and cooing over his animal forms and ready, ready, for the worst. What a nightmare. Thank god. "Im glad it was us."
"You drove me insane."
"I hated you. You sucked."
What love. What immense care. Years on in, and it all still comes back to:
"You got my back?"
"What's the play, Beauregard?"
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