#this particular post is about beau and caleb
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Would LOVE that essay on combat in dnd because full agree. But not even just for people watching live play, like, combat is an essential feature of dnd as a game system and it endlessly frustrates me when i see dms be like “yeah combat is just too complicated and no fun so i dont do it in my game :)!” Like i guess thats your right, but any non-caster class is gonna be miserable in your game. I saw a video recently talking about how dnd has kind of become the default ttrpg and is marketed as the perfect system for everyone and any style of play which is just. So not true. Combat in dnd is equally as integral as roleplay is and theres really no argument otherwise. Very valid if you hate dnd combat, it sure isnt for everyone, but in that case maybe play a different ttrpg where the characters arent constructed around combat abilities, i promise you’ll have more fun.
So this is one of those things that touches on maybe 99% of my feelings on Experiencing Fiction in general and actual play in particular; I apologize in advance for the length and digressions within this response.
Here are the reasons I have seen or I surmise why people don’t like D&D combat, either in actual play or in home games:
It can get crunchy and involves a lot of rules
There are long stretches in which individuals do not necessarily act (not exclusive to combat but I think this is a factor)
It contains violence
There is a potential for character death
Now, it’s fine if you aren’t interested in D&D-style combat, for whatever reason, when you play ttrpgs. It’s just that this is a core feature of D&D. As you say, this is what the martial classes are structured around - and, frankly, no small number of casting classes/subclasses as well. By avoiding it when you play D&D, you’re avoiding the bulk of the game, and there are plenty of ttrpgs that permit open RP that aren’t combat focused that would probably fit your needs better (eg: PbtA and Savage Worlds are both generic systems that can support a heroic fantasy like D&D without the emphasis on combat skills). I happen to love and prefer D&D, but that is specifically because I love combat, and yeah, there are other games and people should seek out those games if they don’t like combat.
When it comes to D&D actual play though…skipping combat is just straight-up stupid. And to be clear I mean fully skipping it and not watching it at all; while this is piggybacking off my post about spoilers, it’s fine if you are the sort of person who needs to know how combat ends in order to enjoy it! That’s just a personal preference that I respect even if I don’t share it.
D&D combat isn’t just an inherent part of the game; it’s an inherent part of the story. The idea of D&D being split into combat and RP is a false dichotomy. There is RP and crucial story within combat scenes, and you simply do not achieve the same effects by reading an after-the-fact summary. To use examples from Critical Role, consider one of the most famous RP moments from Campaign 1, when Scanlan uses his 9th level counterspell in the Vecna fight. The weight of that moment derives from mechanics and from the fact that it is in the midst of combat and well into a climatic final battle. Or for lighter examples, there’s a ton of Beau/Yasha and Fjord/Jester mid-combat flirting running through much of Campaign 2 that informs those relationships. Molly’s death? Caleb going into a fugue state when he kills humanoids with fire? Yasha destroying Obann? Fjord dying mid-deep scion fight? Those are all moments that have deep character weight and meaning that are within the context of combat, and you cannot divorce them from that context and hope to retain the same effect.
This is what dovetails into a larger discussion of Experiencing Fiction which is a (in my opinion) worrying tendency among some people to truly believe that you can cut up media into the palatable bits and pieces and push all of what you see as icky vegetables to the side of your plate. I fucking hate this. I think it’s what drives a lot of things including a distaste for combat. This is how you get, for example, people who dislike combat because Violence And Death Bad, which, do I think that in the real world violence is most often a thing to be avoided? Do I think that in the real world death is heartbreaking? Yes, but this is fiction. There’s that great Brennan Lee Mulligan quote about how TTRPGs like D&D allow people who usually must be conflict-avoidant in real life to let out their anger and frustration in a place where it is safe and harmless, and I believe that whole-heartedly. I want stories about death because I want to know I'm not alone in how I feel about death. I want stories in which people can express their rage in ways both healthy and unhealthy, because big same. (I also think it’s absolutely not coincidental that people who believe they are ‘protecting’ people by circumscribing what is acceptable in fiction tend to be strongly associated with either bigoted, violent policies in real life, or harassment and doxxing online; maybe enjoy a fucked up movie, as John Waters once said, and you'll calm down.)
This idea that you can cut up media and only consume what you like is also what I think is behind some of the really ill-considered and overly granular timestamped content warnings I’ve mentioned previously. It is fine if there are things you don’t want to watch or which will be upsetting or even triggering to watch! It’s fine if you as an individual don’t like violence! But I think there’s a problem when people believe they are entitled to be able to watch whatever they want and have it mold to their exact wants and needs (and that it’s a failing if it doesn’t), rather than taking on the responsibility of seeking out media that already fits the bill. Actual Play D&D will nearly always have violent encounters. If this will be an issue this is not for you. It is not gatekeeping to say “you can come through this gate, but the gate is in fact here for your specifically requested protection"; and yet people think that instead, gates should be placed around everything else. So (to give an example) this is why the warnings for D20’s Neverafter strike me as a symptom of this larger problem - if you have discomfort with violence towards animals and children, that’s fine, but you are watching a D&D horror series in which over half the player characters are either animals or children. This is not something where you can skip a few seconds of a flashing gif that might be a migraine or seizure trigger, or a case where an exceptionally rough scene of gaslighting can be read instead of watched; this is inherent to the show, and if this is not for you, you need to go elsewhere.
To give one last example, I was looking for fanart for Worlds Beyond Number, and came across a picture of Suvi with a caption of “Suvi but without the imperialism” and like…Aabria has said in interviews that this engagement with the empire is extremely deliberate; that Suvi is intended to be tied into the political structures of this world as an intentional contrast with Eursulon’s status as an outsider and Ame’s role at the smaller, community level. Suvi without imperialism is not identifiable as the same character and it throws the entire story off-kilter; she is of this empire and that is the fucking point. Any story worth telling is not just items thrown haphazardly into a bowl; they are combined and mixed. Someone is giving you a plate of brownies and you are acting like it’s physically possible to take out the cocoa powder without fucking the end result, and buddy, it’s not.
(Truly, I was not joking when I said this is like, the load-bearing pillar of most of my complaints about fiction consumption patterns in general. This is about how people will deny the flaws in characters even though any reasonably intelligent ten-year-old, and I know because I fucking was one once, understands that person vs. themself is one of the core conflicts and overcoming one’s flaws is in many cases the entire story and if you start out perfect there is nothing to be said. Like…I think a lot of people genuinely just want to watch a nonstop Monterey Bay Otter Cam of their sufficiently sanitized, focus-group-tested blorbos baking cookies together, and are affronted when people with the tiniest sliver of empathy and/or curiosity want a story with plot and character growth, which in turn require conflict.)
Anyway. I think the takeaways here are that there’s this awful entitlement people have in which they think that they can simply consume anything and it is the failure of that media if it doesn’t cater specifically to them, rather than a failure of them to seek out that which they would enjoy (and I could go on this rant indefinitely; it is truly the most constant theme among Takes I Think Are Dumb); and also I really want to bake something right now, given my choices of metaphor. Combat is part of D&D as a game and as a storytelling medium, and it is incumbent upon people who do not like combat to find something that doesn’t have D&D combat, rather than try to pull out the vital organs of the story.
#answered#faltermoth#long post#to continue with food metaphors it's really like. you are going to an italian restaurant and being mad there are tomatoes there#girl why are you at the devil's sacrament and so forth#i was going to make a joke about bombing all your coffee shop aus but actually i read a coffee shop au that was like. dark. and good.#(it was also professionally published in a work specifically about retellings though)
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caleb wittogast, 5, 6, 7, 18, 22, 25
OHHHH OHOHOHO MY GOD, OKAY. CHOSE VIOLENCE, I SEE.
Caleb Widogast you make me fucking deranged.
as I did before I will answer one and then I'm putting the rest of the answers under the cut because this will perhaps be an even longer post. SOOOOOO!!!!
#5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?
There is... admittedly a lot of songs that I associate with Caleb. But the 3 that I will mention are Would That I by Hozier because it makes me think about this literal masterpiece of a music video.
Then Curses by The Crane Wives. Which..... hough. The. The whole song is him, realistically. But I am not going to post the entire lyrics in this post for it. HOWEVER THE LAST CHORUS IN PARTICULAR....
Oh ashes, ashes, dust to dust
Tell me I am good enough
Oh, lay my curses out to rest
Make a mercy out of me.
IS SO......
Heahhaghghehgh.
and the last song that I will mention is Bright by Lilli Furfaro as that is. Literally a fansong for him LMAO. But this is the one that I learned to play on guitar and mhmfmhdfhfhhfh it still gut punches me every time I sing it. I nearly cried the first time I heard it, though that is not a non-universal experience from what I'm aware by a LOT of the other people in the comments on that video hhHSDHGD--
uh regardless hit the cut if you wanna hear me scream about the tragic dirty wizard man more.
FIRST AND FOREMOST I AM HERE TO PUT MORE FUCKING FANSONGS FOR CALEB THAT MAKE ME GO INSANE!!!! INSANE!!!!!!
These three songs (each word with a different link) by Chase Noseworthy that mgmdmfhmdhmfhmdfhmdfghmfg. nagdfnhgmdfhh. I'm good. bUT MAN. THIS MAN EMBODIES CALEB'S VOICE??? ITS SO GOOD??? Honorable mention to these two (same thing) as well. He has a lot of Caleb fansongs and honestly!!! hes so valid!!!
Okay anyway.
#6. What's something you have in common with this character?
This is actually a tough question because while I relate heavily to Caleb it's.... very hard to put the why into words.
He's very determined. He is the embodiment of burnt out gifted kid (no pun intended). He shows his affection through little gifts and quality time spent. He's willing to rip the entire world in half for the sake of those he loves. He really likes cats.
I think without getting into the nitty gritty details that is a Lot of my appeal for him.
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#7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?
THE ART THAT I SEE OF HIM IS NEVER BAD. I TRULY BELIEVE THAT. NOT ONE PIECE OF MEDIA MADE FOR HIM THAT I HAVE SEEN IS ONE THAT I HAVE DISLIKED.
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#18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?
While this would be an excuse for me to talk about widomauk I am instead forcing empire kids thoughts upon ye.
Caleb and Beau from the start were compelling. And their dynamic never stopped. They're the two humans of the group. They both came from less than ideal home-lives and then had horrible experiences with a person of authority in their lives. Neither of them cared that the other was a shitty person because the other understood. The other understood why they were a shitty person.
Early campaign empire kids is especially fascinating to me from Beau's perspective. Her trying to have a heart to heart with him only to have him walk away from her because he really does not like talking about himself in front of so many people. And her only response is to??? Just passive aggressively yell "WOOOOW. FUCKING COOL, CALEB!!!" At him!!! It is so fuckin funny but also shows that they are still learning to trust each other. Only to then be followed a couple episodes by Caleb apologizing and hugging her and for her to just??? Confusedly hug him back?? That awkward hug was EVERYTHING.
Beau: *schwacks her goggles over her eyes and then turns to Caleb* How do i look!? :3c
Caleb, without missing a beat: You look like a nerd.
I SIMPLY CARE THEM!! They are so stupid together but they are simply siblings!!! They care so much about each other. Caleb is literally willing to give up the safety of shelter for himself and the better half of the group in order for Beau to go on a date with Yasha. Beau sneaks Caleb into the biggest goddamn library which also happens to be the place where everyone hates her just in order for him to get some information. Caleb holding onto Beau for security while concentrating on a spell.
I could go on-- I won't.
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#22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?
OHHH MY GOOOHHHODD
When they make him speak German!!! Especially when they make him speak German correctly!!!! It is actually very rare that I see good dialogue written for Caleb where he will slip into Zemnian (which is. just the German language but renamed for the campaign). Especially writing him where he speaks Zemnian when he's tired!! Acknowledging that he doesn't think in Common!!!!!
ALSO WHEN THEY DESCRIBE HIS SPELLS!!! There's. admittedly there's one fic in particular that I am thinking of while typing this out but I will refrain from linking it.
But describing his spellwork and his little quirks that he does and... god. He's so so complex to work with but when you get it right??? Hough.
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#25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?
I think I immediately liked him hHSDHGhGHDHG.
No but seriously I think seeing enough of Caleb from clips is what made me start watching it. I knew I was going to love him from the start. And that hasn't changed. He is, i think by now, one of my top 5 characters in media?? Like I do not realistically have a defined list but I can guarantee he has a spot somewhere on top 5.
.
Yeah okay I knew this was going to be much worse when I was thinking about my answers for this but hhhhHOUHGHHFGHH. WHOOPSIES!!!!
Thank you rar for indulging me to ramble about him. He makes me feel so normal (<- I say with a dazed and far off stare on my face).
#caleb widogast#krae answers#thanks rar#HOUUHHHH BOY THAT GOT OUT OF HAND#well you got what you asked for!!!#:D!!!#critrole#empire kids
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This might sound like it’s straying into RPF territory, but thoughts on each of the players’ (including Matt’s dm style) playing style (ie: how they play their characters.)
Hmmm. Tbh, I don't think I'm knowledgable enough about actual game mechanics/playstyles to provide super meaningful analysis on that front, but I do like characters and how they're created and played and grown. So. I'll cheat a little and talk a little about that?
(To avoid straying into weird territory I'll be trying to keep this as speculation-free as possible and focus on some particular character elements I've noticed and appreciate, but it'll include cast appreciation too.)
this got SO FUCKING LONG because I was having a good time. sorry. enjoy?
Ive spoken about this before, but Marisha's characters often have arcs that are deeply self contained and circle around personal growth and triumph and healing in ways I really enjoy. Her characters do tend to be very powerful, which- nice- but more often than not the biggest factor for growth- and her characters always have phenomenal growth arcs- is about overcoming internal stumbling blocks and demons, improving as a person and settling into it. Which. Spells exciting things for Laudna. 👀 I also love how much she physically embodies each of her characters. Delightful to see. Post-nap Beau, mildly delirious Beau, Laudna drunk-and-woozy-from-blood-loss, Laudna hiding behind her hair.... fantastic.
Liam's characters are so fucking full of love, and passion, in ways that wrap around and shape them, both good and bad. And like yes, fantastic and distinct explorations of grief, yes, thoughtful and nuanced portrayals of loss and trauma and upheaval. But- honestly, looking at Caleb, looking at Vax, looking at Orym. They're all just Lads With Feels, yknow? Good lads who love people so damn much, and feel things so strongly and fully, for better or for worse. He also embodies his characters so fully that you feel that fullness to your core. Method acting.
Taliesin's characters are firstly, aesthetic as hell. He also does something really neat with characters and pride and inflexible or presumptous worldviews. And alongside that, each of his characters can beautifully demonstrate points about people who speak well and charismatically and reassuringly and how that really correlates so little about how much they should be trusted. (Cad, this includes you.) There's pages and pages of analysis that can be done about each of his characters and themes about authority, and pride, and self assurance, and judgements and assumptions that feels very intentional, but his characters also feel very human with it all. There are layers there. And the characters manage to not feel overburdened with it! Masterful. And Taliesin is consistent as hell with it, even if he's not always In character like Liam might be.
Sam. Fucking Sam Riegel. Bard at heart. His characters always, always, have layers, without fail, and Sam is enough of a jokester that you can't take everything done in character as hard evidence of analysis- but you can definitely take more of it than you think. And if there's a specific detail that is slightly funny but seems almost too specific, you can rest assured it will probably rip your heart out later. (Veth hates water! haha! -ah shit-) There's a nice level of thoughtfulness there with just enough actual jokes thrown in to keep you off balance, which makes some of the analysis hell but damn if they aren't good characters.
Ashley is- first of all, extremely funny, okay, there's an element of Chaos™ that I think was present in both Yasha and Pike to an extent that is truly blossoming in Fearne, it is delightful. Her characters tend to be funny in the way of deeply absurd, unexpected statements said in completely genuine tones. And it's hilarious. It also lends itself very well to the other aspect of her characters I enjoy, which has to do with them feeling deeply genuine. It is not precisely about honesty- especially with Fearne- it is about characters who say things with a sort of earnestness, who present themselves with a levek of honesty they can't quite help, even when they're lying. Its good for a comedic streak- ("Your cat is? Vibrating?" "I lied :)") and then just as easily be completely heartwrenching. (Yasha, wrecked and angry and guilty. Fearne, quietly telling Dorian, "I'll never forget you."). She plays both sides of it so well.
I'll admit I'm less familiar with Grog, but Fjord was, admittedly, one of my favorite characters from C2 and has one of my favorite charscter arcs and growth of all time. Travis is so fucking good at blending humor and heart in his characters. Like, comedic timing and sense off the charts, instinctive slapstick, which I think can distract from how consistently thoughtful his characters can be? I dunno. But also, I'm aware some people thought Fjord was boring at the start of C2 and then I think about how fucking hilarious he was through the latter half of it- falling on his face, making a fool of himself, using healing spells for 1-2 hitpoints. And go absolutely feral thinking about how that was a reflection of his growth as a character, about how his confidence in himself and being comfortable being him and not an imitation of someone else meant he felt more confident in making a fool about himself, and how he balanced that humor so well with Fjord growing into leadership and comfort with his role as a voice of reason and- oops this became Fjord meta.
Travis has really good comedic timing but also can spin that on a dime for the most heartfelt, gentle, thoughtful conversations and it is unfair how good he is at it. We're even seeing it with Chetney already. Incredible.
and. Look. I'm sure anyone following me is unsurprised to know that I have. An extreme love for Laura Bailey characters and how they're constructed. And part of this is definitely verging on like, personal preference- I have a specific weakness for characters who are trying so fucking hard to keep it together and be Good and Kind and charming, and who might be doing it VERY convincingly but are also, in one form or another, white knuckling it and On The Edge. Characters that Smile With Teeth (but are also genuinely Trying Their Best). I DUNNO.
But I think it's a testament to Laura truly thinking things through with her characters and how they would feel and react and also fuck things up, and then 100% committing to them. Strong traits as both strengths and flaws. Vex's charm distilled to an arrow point. Jester's happiness being intentional and powerful and terrifying. Imogen being anxious and empathetic and also ruthless under pressure. Her characters are always impressive and flawed in ways that make so much sense, that line up with each other and fall into place and she commits to them fully. They'll say something or do something bad and you'll be like: OOF but also OF COURSE and like. LIKE. isn't that great.
And as a bonus, we don't get to see Matt as a player often and I think NPC building has a level of worldbuilding integrated that can't be ignired. But whenever I see him as a PC he is often-
1- having such a good time, love that for him.
2- Clearly someone so well associated with the rules and uses all of that knowledge and mastery for tomfoolery or specific purposes.
3- making such Lads™. Good bois.
im mostly thinking about Dariax, actually. Dariax was so good, and so complex while also having no more than 3 thoughts at a time. i miss u dariax. ilu.
Matt's characters are a delight, is what I'm saying.
.....
okay this got unreasonably long i think it can probably be boiled down to I Love Complex Characters Who Act Consistently With Some Level Of Characterization and everyone in the cast works so hard to ensure their characters feel fully realized and act consistently and in ways that make sense. And I love characters who act consistently. my bread and butter. and they're all good at different aspects of it but. 👌
#wow this got WAY off topic. but listen the character building and growth in cr is like. Phenomenal. there are flaws and etc etc but. cmon.#im just a real sucker for when characters are flawed and 3d and Do Shit because Given Who They Are. Ofc they would.#critical role#spar speaks#ask away!#meta#?#cr cast#should i tag the full cast? feels a bit strange. i hooe this answer didnt come off too weird.#this is also like. unreasonably long. i expect a max of like 2 people to get all the way down here. congrats! also sorry.#the cr cast enjoy making characters and sharing stories. i think that's pretty clear. i think they're all pretty good at it. :)#also this post is Absolutely Not COmprehensive and was not intended to be. i slammed this out in one sitting and#now i need to run to pick someone up from the airport. feel free to add on with things you appreciate! but i definitely missed stuff bc this#was just like. personal singular snapshot of stuff off the top of my head h a
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no particular questions or hot takes i just want to say that it's been a joy to follow along your liveblog and see you be correct about everything. actually no i do have a question - what is the most insane fic wip that you're working on that i can look forward to? :)
thank you !! and i am about to go back to school so it may be highly unlikely i actually finish anything but. for a sense of the madness that has overtaken me this summer: 1. i have a long dual timeline thing i desperately need to finish that i wrote after episode 110 about astrid post-dinner-party + immediately before and after bren's institutionalization that has ambitious teenagers devising horrifying magical weapons and just so much bitter angry murderous astrid (something something 5+1 times brutus thought about murdering caesar or whatever). 2. it took me less than 12 hours from hearing the words Master Astrid Becke to start writing post-canon fic 3. i would love to write some caleb & jester character study 4. one day i will finish the batshit insane spy vs spy astrid/beau crack
(i just finished c2 ama)
#your url has been in my notes for so long i feel like you've really been in the trenches with me. one of the oldest comrades truly#omg wait. i can read YOUR fics now#what am i supposed to do with this much content. unprecedented#asks#lena watches cr
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The Fool and the Soldier: Chapter Commentary
Chapter 7: The Serpent & The Crown
On off weeks, I’ll be posting some commentary on the prior week’s chapter. Since this is a longfic, I expect that it will be helpful for keeping track of stuff, plus I might mention something you missed. Of course, this will include spoilers, so continue with that in mind.
These aren’t meant to be comprehensive! There is so much more going on that I’m not saying. Feel free to ask questions too, either in replies or asks. If it’s too spoilery, I’ll let you know. I’ll add them to the body at the bottom as I receive them.
See the directory for other meta posts.
The Serpent & The Crown
Oh man, this chapter title has layers.
Molly revised this card in chapter 3, after reading a short story in the book Caleb gifted to him during their downtime in Zadash. As noted later in this chapter, the point of the story is not to take the first opportunity as soon as it appears because that may cut off further options. (Molly interpreted it as waiting to see what else he could steal from a mark before making a move. Not wrong, per se, but not exactly what the author intended.) Many of the scenes focus on opportunities and delayed gratification. What can they do or have now? What do they hope will come? Are they willing to wait for the mere chance of something better?
Because that was the focus, I ultimately didn’t include scenes for POVs from Beau or Nott. Beau’s arc wasn’t about that issue, and Nott’s only became that later, when she realized that her family wouldn’t care that she was a goblin then again once she was turned back into a halfling. However, all the rest of the Nein at least brush against those questions at this point in their development, so I felt comfortable with those two taking a back seat.
Of course, this is also the first part of Fjord’s arc, where the Nein learn of Uk’otoa (the serpent) and his offer of the power to rule the sea (the crown). Up until this latest live show, Fjord always seemed to be struggling with this idea of who he is and who he should be. That manifested in different ways throughout C2. Currently, we’re looking at Fjord’s relationship with power generally. He knows he wants it, and he’s not self-aware enough to sort out why, so he’s chasing it out of fear of losing an opportunity, something he’s rarely had in life.
Why are we bothering with that in a story about Lucien trying to murder Molly? Hmmmm…
One More Time
I wanted to touch base with Jester because she left Nicodranas without saying goodbye to Marion in canon, and I felt part of that was because she wasn’t sure she could sneak all the way to the Chateau and back without getting caught. I also wanted to explore the fact that Jester did miss home and considered staying (which was stated in the stream).
Jester’s arc isn’t usually the subject of a lot of discourse or commentary because it closely resembles a coming of age arc. She goes off to explore the world, learns what it’s really like, matures, falls in love, etc. She’s a sheltered kid that only saw people through a particular set of lenses, and traveling with the Nein has given her more perspective.
But does Jester want that? The answer is a resounding “yes,” but that moment was handled much later in canon. She originally left home because she was forced to—there really was no choice involved. Nott offering the hat of disguise gave Jester an option that wouldn’t have come up until the pre-peace-negotiations gala a few dozen episodes later. By that point, Jester had a much stronger relationship with each of the Nein and there was no doubt whether she would continue with them.
In the Origins comic, Jester repeatedly wanted to see more people and explore the city, sneaking out and causing trouble. But she brought things back for her mother. Marion wanted a better life for Jester, but her own fears and limitations kept her from providing that, so she urged Jester to go and provided a ton of money to help.
So this scene provides a little insight into all those factors. Jester wants to grow and experience new things, she wants to help the Nein, and she wants to bring a piece of that home with her. It’s no longer about being unable to go home. She can, and she’ll visit, but unlike a lot of the rest of the Nein, she gets to choose what life she leads really early on in the story.
Master Doolan Tversky, the Archmage of Dysology
Oh, this thread is still going. Yep. There’s a lot I won’t explain in this part, but I can at least go into a few things.
There’s very little canon characterization of Doolan. She’s a gnome, she’s very much obsessed with biological research of magical beasts, she’s willing to drop a lot of money on things she wants, and she’s pretty focused.
But Dysology has a few meanings. It’s criticism or the study of bad science. Given how much the Assembly was involved in politics of the Dwendalian Empire (they aren’t just doing personal projects), I tried to come up with a persona that would be into biology, magic, and politics all in one. The result was a scientist who is decidedly amoral and disregards the rules. Not evil, not good—motivated entirely by research and knowledge. Which is exactly the type of person who would be happy to conduct autopsies on a bunch of blood hunters.
Relatedly, that’s why I chose the bull wasp motif for Doolan as well. Omnivorous animals aren’t evil; they eat. That’s how she views herself and her associates. They aren’t doing bad things, they just do what they’re meant to do. There’s a hierarchy, everyone has a purpose, and Doolan just happens to be at the top.
Good people don’t usually end up in leadership positions in totalitarian regimes.
This scene was originally going to be after the next one, but @fruitzbat gave a good suggestion that fitting it between these two scenes flowed better and provided a starker contrast between the Nein and the Assembly.
Gods
This scene rehashed a conversation between Yasha and Caduceus because it covers topics important to both of their arcs. They’re the most similar with respect to their relationships to their gods, neither of which are big talkers. Even though some of the dialogue is taken straight from canon, I added more to flesh out the discussion.
This happens in a few scenes, and it’s all for the same reason: there are elements of canon that really can’t be skipped over if this story is going to have a coherent plot and satisfying character arcs. When I get to those moments, I try to freshen them up in some way to avoid boring the reader, while also avoiding deviation for its own sake.
We needed some circus kids moments, given that Yasha went off as soon as she woke up after the Iron Shepherds. Yasha and Molly had a very playful dynamic, and she was also the only one who he would cave to easily. If not for her, Molly would have tried to blow off Cree or otherwise avoid that conversation in the Evening Nip. Thus, Yasha is uniquely positioned to prod Molly about his dreams without him staunchly denying everything.
I also absolutely had to bring the peacock back. Yeah, they’re only supposed to be capable of flying short distances, but this is an Exandrian peacock and he’d not going to let Nott leave without him.
Colors
I wanted to check in with Caduceus because actually adjusting to the idea of moving forward without a plan or guidance from the Wildmother wasn’t overnight. He settled into it gradually over the course of this plotline. This scene also gave the generic idea of time passing before the Nein met up with Avantika without revisiting combat or other developments that weren’t as pertinent.
However, I also wanted to nudge the AU plot along. Molly was knocked out the entire time the Iron Shepherds and the Nein moved through the Savalirwood and Shadycreek Run; he never saw the distinct color of the woods. So Molly had no reason to know that he was dreaming of a real place, let alone real people or events. At least, he didn’t until Caduceus mentioned that the trees there were purple and gray.
Caduceus probably would have realized that he was upset about that in particular if not for the seasickness—not that he would have explained anything anyway—but now Molly has information to inform him of what he’s seen. He’s totally not panicking, guys. Just queasy.
I also took inspiration from a canon scene of Caduceus zoning out about whether he'd met a ghost he didn't want to punch. This is one of my favorite C2 animatics for it.
Dream: Cold
The opening rhyme is an Irish children’s song that’s fairly well known in the English-speaking world.
In the United States and western Europe, a lot of the modern discourse on poverty focuses on food insecurity and homelessness (specifically, the lack of shelter, not any other facet) and little else. Notably, those were the only topics that TNEOL bothered with, and both were resolved in passing by introducing Auntie Mama, who handled both of those issues so that Lucien Tavelle only had to deal with the trauma around his family and the dangers of taking jobs for the families. As a result, pretty much none of Tavelle’s characterization was tied to racism against tieflings, how he survived in Shadycreek Run, the trauma that arises out of the desperation of poverty, nor the types of relationships he would have had under those circumstances. That’s just not included. Instead, his flaws are treated either as tragic/traumatic traits arising out of experiences with abuse by his family/Azrahari or as personal moral failings.
That’s such a typical tactic for published stories about minorities that grew up in poverty, and I’m absolutely not going to do that.
The dreams have already included examples of crime, fishing, etc. as means of survival, as well as avoiding threats of slavers, gangs, and fey. This dream addresses extreme weather, sickness, and the lack of family or social units (meaning groups of people that work together out of cultural obligation or some connected identity).
Homeless people die in extreme weather unless they can get to secure, prepared shelter, and in a town like Shadycreek Run, such shelter is not going to be common. People who live in violent, gang-run neighborhoods are rarely charitable with their homes because of the risk that the person they help will take advantage, and further, this is not the modern world with a culture of charitable giving or volunteering. Offering shelter to someone is a substantial risk, and that still requires some sort of agreement between those people. There has to be some conversation and trust. Homeless kids are not likely to ask strangers for a place to sleep because—again, in a town run by violent tribes, two of which run with the slave trade—adults that are likely to say yes are also the most suspect. Thus, homeless kids often die in blizzards.
That said, there are some people willing to provide temporary shelter, especially when they see sad kids shivering in the snow. Thus, the blacksmith allows a small group to take refuge from the cold while he’s there and has an eye on them. (In addition, Lucien keeps watch while the rest sleep.) As implied by his statements and scars, the blacksmith was also a former slave and has little interest in tipping anyone off that the kids are there. The temple to the Raven Queen also accepts the kids once they trudge through the snow to get there. Whether they could have sought such help earlier is anyone’s guess, and it’s entirely possible that they would have been turned away if the situation wasn’t desperate enough yet. On top of that, while cold doesn’t cause illness, enduring extreme cold compromises the immune system and kids get sick. A few that didn’t die to hypothermia still died to illness.
In addition, there’s the issue that the allegiances of the street kids are fickle. Younger, weaker kids don’t have much choice in who they stick with, and older, experienced kids eventually find opportunities to pursue. Thus, the goliath offers to take her two favorites with her to a gang, leaving the little ones and “the problems” behind. Smaller, disorganized groups without strong hierarchies don’t often last, especially when faced with challenges like blizzards.
Life is hard for kids on the streets. There’s kind people that mean well, and most of the time, they aren’t willing or in the position to offer long-term solutions. Unfortunately, when someone grows up with a vivid, consistent experience of scarcity, apathy, and danger, the nice lessons they hear from well-meaning, kind people tend to get warped. Thus, the blacksmith makes a curved sword rather a straight blade or some other tool, and his lesson isn’t about how to help or to seek help, but to endure. He has scars of his own, and he knows that other people cannot be relied upon. Allowing the kids to take up space and providing some advice is the most he’s willing to give.
I’m not writing a story to make privileged people feel like the desperation of the poor isn’t their fault or their problem. Society is to blame for poverty, and every single person has a part in that. There were things that bystanders could have done to save more kids, and they didn’t do it. It’s risky, yeah, and in the end, most people who have something to lose don’t want to take risks to help people they look down upon.
So they don’t.
Memories
Now the story can finally get into the Tombtakers’ interactions with Lucien in detail. We also see what Lucien can do while he’s in someone’s head. Oh boy!
I came up with Jurrell’s game quite a while before this scene as a way of providing retrospection and exposition in the Tombtaker scenes. That provides the reader with some insight into the other Tombtakers’ pasts and how they get along with Lucien. So now there’s multiple options for scenes to show that off. We’ll see a lot more of their backstory over time.
Lucien is a French name IRL, but there is no France or French language in Exandria. However, the French accent tends to be common along the Menagerie Coast. Going off that, I decided I’d interpret that as the Ki’nau language (Naush) and accent since it had not really been tied to a specific place in canon. Then I tried to brainstorm why Lucien would have that name if he grew up in Shadycreek Run. While researching Irish folklore, one of the figures that stood out was Lugh (modern “Lú”). Depending on the cycle (Irish folklore is divided into cycles with repeating/related myths), he was a trickster god, a god of light, a master craftsman, and a jack of all trades. Putting that all together with the earlier decision I’d made that he learned from Seanchaidhe, I came up with this backstory for how Lucien got his name.
When Matt introduced the Tombtakers as a group, Lucien was the only one that didn’t have a last name. In a campaign that was rife with chosen names, I felt that was an intentional choice to suit the character. Thus, my version doesn’t care what his name was. He doesn’t have a family, so as far as he’s concerned, he doesn’t have a family name. Whether he ever had a prior name is anyone’s guess at this point.
Lucien isn’t kind. He’s playful, curious, and willing to go along with things he doesn’t necessarily enjoy—but he also retaliates. So he doesn’t hold back when he has the chance to question Tyffial about something delicate. As for his intentions, that’s for the future.
Without the eyes, Otis doesn’t have darkvision, and I thought it’d be funny to include a watch where they absolutely don’t see trouble coming. It was convenient for a transition in this scene.
Lastly, @grayintogreen correctly commented that these were the “Syphilis Bandits” that the Mighty Nein repeatedly encountered in the Marrow Valley. They lived though!
Avantika
This was a scene that I felt I could not skip, but it was also so boring to include. Eventually, I finally tried drafting it from Avantika’s POV, and it felt so much better than any of the other versions I did. Doing her perspective also gave a decent amount of exposition so that skipping the early conversations with her wasn’t as big of a problem. It turned out to be very efficient for moving the plot along while keeping things interesting, even if there isn’t a lot of extra meat to the scene.
Eyes
Matt had so many eye motifs in the campaign, and I know Fjord and Nott would have been suspicious of Molly every time they came up. It’s such a fun thing to poke at.
Jester breaking the pencils was based on Laura actually breaking a pencil in the stream and joking that Jester had done it. I added it into the scene so that it happened throughout the conversation.
We also get a callback to the fairy tale the card/chapter title was based on. I like nesting stories within stories, so we’re going to see more of this.
Trostenwald
This scene mostly speaks for itself. More insight into Lucien’s abilities, as well as how conscious hosts are while he’s taken over. And some rather disturbing plans for Gustav...
Opportunity
Now that we got past the boring setup, time for Fjord’s perspective! Fjord has terrible insight, and he heavily relied on the others’ opinions to try to sort out what to do.
The story Molly mentions is another one of the three Stories About Snakes by the Brothers Grimm. However, he’s trying to be subtle with Fjord, who’s pretty dense. Their dynamic was so fun.
I also wanted to address that Fjord was definitely interested in Avantika. He was ambivalent about a lot of stuff during this first part of his arc, and it was a later decision in canon to try to sabotage her. I wonder if that will be different now…
Urukayxl
And, of course, a final check in with Molly. I figured he’d help with the snake makeup, but the advantage didn’t roll much better.
However, Jamedi is undead, and Molly is spooked around undead after what happened with Lucien. He’s not going to hesitate to pick a fight, but with Jamedi hiding out and bigger threats, he can’t spend the time to do anything about it. I also wanted to make clear that even though Molly was an anxious character, he channeled that into action. His panic attacks weren’t obvious outwardly, and they usually came after there was nothing left to fight. I took that to mean that he was capable of keeping himself together as long as there was something he could do.
It’s also very specific things that made him panic. He did in Alfield when he triggered the Rite of the Dawn, and then again in the Evening Nip when Cree called him Lucien—it’s when he’s faced with Lucien’s past, which he doesn’t understand and doesn’t want to understand. Danger from combat and social situations generally don’t phase him. However, now he associates undead with Lucien, as well as the dreams (thanks to his conversation with Caduceus). He’s not going to be able to hide it from the Nein forever.
The combat wasn’t important and moved quickly in canon, so I breezed through it too. There’s only a few small changes. First, Caleb didn’t have Invisibility at this point because he’d used the scroll against Lorenzo, but in this story, he saved it and inscribed it into his book in Zadash. Second, Molly looted a necklace that wasn’t from the show. Third, it was Fjord who teleported up with Misty Step to shove the yuan-ti guard, so I had to switch that to Molly. The first two are going to have further ramifications down the road.
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I hope bells hells will be the heroes of their own story, not vm or m9. This is bells hells story. This is starting to feel like Avengers Endgame. 
Oh anon I understand the urge to vent about something like this but also I am probably the worst person to send this ask to, because when it comes to this sort of discoursing within fandom 90% of the time my opinion on it can basically be summed up as: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Like, the m9 being involved in a ludinus related plot is a direct follow through from their story. there are very valid reasons for beau and caleb to be involved in this. I largely don't have an opinion on vm cameos, it's pretty whatever for me, but I enjoy seeing the nein again, involved in something that I already presumed they would be involved in. it makes sense for them to be there and I am not above my bias for the nein (and the empire kids in particular) to have me enjoying the hell out of their cameos.
That said, I'd presume further stories post-apogee solstice will likely focus more strongly on bh members themselves. like, I would presume that would be the case after all this is done.
but also ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Fic bts 15 and 17?
Behind the Scenes Fic Writing post here!
I'm gonna mix it up a bit and answer these out of order, so bear with me.
17. What fic are you most proud of?
On the Nature of Attraction. There's something about the stuff you write when you're Going Through It that hits different, y'know? I think writing can be such a powerful tool for processing your emotions, and OtNoA kind of encapsulates that experience. Like, that fic did not start with me coming from a happy place, but in the process of writing it, the... idk indignation? became the energy to write something very reassuring to me.
And the response to it has been incredible. I would still be proud of it regardless, but knowing that it had an impact on others, knowing that my fic has made other people feel less alone, made me feel less alone! I like to make people feel things and when we can all feel those things together, even better.
And I'm just... so pleased with how it turned out. I think it's so cute and so sweet. I like how I wrote Jester and Beau, even though they have relatively minor roles in the fic. I still go back and read it from time to time, more so than other fics I've written.
15. A Hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. Which fic would you want it to be?
This is a bit of a harder question! Part of me wants to say On the Nature of Attraction because it is the fic I'm proudest of, and I want to see more aspec themes explored in media! (And I could do a little commentary track for the DVD and that would be fun.) But do I think that it would translate well onto film? Not particularly.
So I'm going to say Miss You Dearly. It has multiple locations, a (slightly) bigger cast, some fun dance scenes, so I think it's the best candidate for a visual medium. In particular, I think the scene where they're setting up for the party and Caleb casts Major Image to create the fairy lights, then he and Essek lock eyes would be really cute. I'm talking slow motion, then they look at each other and the music swells, lingering shots on their faces, shoujo bubbles, the whole nine yards. This is a rom-com and we're leaning into it. It would be a fun time.
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I make playlists sometimes.
Wifey said I should share them with writeups.
So, I’m going to start with the one I made for the Mighty Nein. I decided to go hard mode and not include any Autumn Orange (no matter how awesome they are), so these are purely picked and chosen out of music I know or was already in my purview. They are short because they are pretty carefully curated, and are also designed to be shuffled, so in no particular order.
The All-Powerful Nah
-*WARNING- spoilers for Critical Role Campaign 2 below the cut!*-
The Sun - Klingande Remix Radio Edit/ Parov Stelar, Graham Candy, Klingande ~ Quite simply, Jester. (”I’m gonna tell my mama, that I’m a traveler; I’m gonna follow the sun”)
Shackleton/ Adam Young ~ This song oozes Fjord energy so much I can’t picture the man without hearing this song in my head.
Atone & Bloom / Auvic, Caroline Kim ~ Caduceus, in general the punch of You Haven’t Seen Cleric Yet that he brought to the party. (”May I muse along the way?”)
Blossoms / Goopsteppa ~ The first time in the Blooming Grove.
Awake / Ok Goodnight ~ Yasha, particularly post Rumblecusp.
Doomed / Reliqa ~ Beauregard, in so many ways, in so many arcs. (”I’m about to march up to the playground, show the big kids what the runt is made of”)
Murky / Saint Mesa ~ Caleb, bottom to the top.
Third Eye / Florence + The Machine ~ Look, I gotta have a little flo+. As a treat. Also, I literally cannot listen to this song without thinking of Nott/Veth singing it to Caleb, and subsequently bawling. (”I’m the same, I’m the same, I’m trying to change”)
The Grand Bizarre / Beats Antique ~ Mollymauk, oh you funky carnie you.
Femina / Żywiołak ~ You know how every woman in the Mighty Nein is high strength and high damage powerhouses? Yes, that.
Wonderland / Caravan Palace ~ CHAOS CREW. Particularly Jester. The swing elements just smack of a girl raised in a bordello, while the lyrics lean Beau and Veth so hard.
Gloria Regali / Tommee Profitt, Fleurie ~ It’s trailer music. It’s somber and ominous. It’s Nonagon. (”Forever may you reign”)
Selkie / Entheogenic ~ While this song is heavily sampled from the movie Song of the Sea, to me in the M9 context, it evokes Fjord’s journey to becoming an Oath of the Open Sea paladin and what that means for his growth as a person.
Space Man / Eurielle, Ryan Louder ~ S H A D O W G A S T. (”I know a place where there is only you and me and stars...”)
Sunlit Grave / Saint Mesa ~ Glory Run Road. (Jester scries on Mollymauk after finding his grave empty.)
Tuleloits / Kerli ~ Caleb casting Widogast’s Transmogrification on Veth.
Instructions for Time Travel - Recue Remix / Robot Koch, Savannah Jo Lack, Recue ~ An overall perfect overture for Caleb Widogast in general.
After the Storm / Mumford & Sons ~ Yasha, liberated from Obann but in no way at peace with her freedom, the second time since joining the Nein she’d left captivity to find tragedy where she wasn’t able to stop it... and the gentle reassurances from the remaining Nein that she was not at fault, and she deserves her freedom and chance to do better.
I FEEL THINGS A LOT AND MUSIC IS VERY FEELS. Thanks for getting this far. I hope you enjoy. I’ll gladly take suggestions for additions into consideration.
#the mighty nein#critical role campaign 2#cr c2 spoilers#mighty nein spoilers#playlists#fandom playlists
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*sing* it's been ~a while~
and i have been watching vm vs the nein a lot so let's talk about it. as always with me, this is a very long word vomit.
i said over on my mechanics post that the vm playbook requires urgency while the nein's playbook requires setup. here's what i mean. if the nein can make it to round 3-4 intact, that is if all of them are up, they are going to win. period. the nein simply have too many ways to steal turns from their enemies or to maximize their own effectiveness for things to go any other way.
if you want to see this in action even with a reduced roster, go watch the fire elemental fight in episode 129 and count the rounds. between caduceus' mass cure wounds and spirit guardians, caleb's slow, veth's sneak attacks, and jester's guiding bolts, the nein were able to scrape out a win thanks more to their bag of tricks than the damage output. veth only got sneak attack because of guiding bolt's secondary effects, slow kept veth safe from an opportunity attack and jester from a multi-attack, mass cure wounds gave caleb that round to cast slow, and the spirit guardians passively whittled down the enemies into KO range. the accumulated secondary effects were too much for the enemies to withstand and they fell hard. notice how everything built on one another here. that's what cockroach parties learn to do well. it was sloppier than a normal nein fight but they did it with a reduced roster AND with nearly all of their high level spell slots spent before the fight. yeah, they're fucking scary.
vm, however, is a whole different kind of scary. this team can put you down before you even know what's happening. it's harder to target the group's biggest damage dealers because you have a hulking barbarian and often an elemental up front locking down combatants. the dagger rogue can teleport and fly. oh, and give himself an extra action each round. the ranger and the gunslinger can stand back and just go to town. the freaking bear can maul you. the bard can make your life a living joke in your final moments. the cleric is a wildcard because the group is built to fight without her; if she's around, good luck because that's another round of attacks you have to take and an extra round vm can take. their DCs are ridiculous, as are their overall ACs.
but the thing to know about vm is that they have to put you down fast. they don't have the hit points for longer fights and they definitely don't have the utility for longer fights. their druid is offensively oriented, their cleric is often absent, and their bard is mostly support. he's often the only one running that bag of tricks. he can and will fuck up an opposing team given the chance and bolster his own, the problem is that he has almost no backup here. it's a giant hole that is begging to be exploited. it's an even bigger hole when that bard can only cast one spell per round.
so, going into the battle royale, the vm side had to down one member of the nein as fast as possible preferably in two rounds or fewer. it almost doesn't matter who, because if you down beau or fjord, that forces jester or fjord to spend their action or spell getting the downed member back up. if jester goes down, fjord has to do something about it. well, i say it almost doesn't matter but beau's deflect missiles makes her the worst target of the trio and yes, i'm including fjord's half-orc bounce back in that calculation. that gives you one round where the person healing isn't fucking up your team. vm's secondary objective was to monitor and control beau. her movement is nothing to compared to a hasted vax but her stunning strike is the most lethal weapon the nein brought into this fight. vm overall is not a melee group to begin with and their con saves are all garbage. vm has to find a way to keep her off their tails if they want a chance. we also know that vm's plan was to try to take out jester first so throw that objective into the mix as well.
all the nein have to do is survive the first couple rounds, monitor scanlan and pike, and get into position. that's basically it. the nein can absolutely withstand vax and percy's damage output for the first two rounds. pike and scanlan's damage output can be scary but pike in particular has to decide whether she wants to hold high level slots for healing. and she would need those higher level slots to get close to percy and vax's damage output. the nein know from experience that the support caster is where the real trouble will begin.
but before we kick things off, remember that matt specifically designed this battlefield to take turns away from the teams. the chests are an action to search and are located far out of the way in the field. the gem requires an action to activate, which basically means sacrificing your action for someone else's, and shifts between six designated points on the field. matt, who has a deep understanding of how both teams operate, decided to play on the nein's insecurities that they were at a severe item disadvantage and see if he could get them to bite. high risk, high reward. granted, this is me speculating but it does look like matt saw the fight very differently from the players and readjusted the field accordingly.
so we kick off and immediately scanlan proves why he is the top priority on the nein's list. he gets the gem, gets fjord prone on the ground, and comes within a hair's breadth of turning the fight into a five on two potential slaughter. travis brilliantly responds to these circumstances in the best of ways. see, fjord isn't the nein's utility magician for this fight; fjord's the bait. travis makes a very big spectacle of himself and fjord's predicament. and vm buys it hook, line, and sinker. ashley tries to continue with the original plan of gunning for jester only to discover that jester is who knows where.
vax, percy and scanlan? immediately take their shots at fjord. but fjord's on the ground which puts percy's awful misfire mechanic into reasonable play. so fjord gets lucky and doesn't take anywhere near the amount of damage he could have from percy. scanlan, after percy is removed from the field, decides he's better off trying to finish fjord but only hits a 3rd level thunder wave instead of a higher level one, which sam was probably saving for some counterspells or such. i don't think a higher level would have made that much of a difference but it is important to note.
more importantly, vax gets greedy. he got two good hits on fjord with his two actions, he could have left and hidden for the next turn. yes, vm has to down fjord as fast as possible. however that haste is going to be more effective over the long term if vax can keep it. but fjord's easy prey and he thinks vm can down him before jester can get over there to do anything about it. so he goes for the bonus action attack. pike eventually joins this mad dash scramble and like scanlan, she absolutely needed to throw something huge at fjord to get past his half-orc racial trait to have a prayer at downing him. but she did not because ashley seems to have been saving all her high levels for healing so fjord survives the round in honestly a very good position. vax can't target him from range with the cloud up, scanlan now has bigger problems than fjord with molly right up on him, and pike ran, taking damage and healing fjord in the process.
meanwhile, the nein's ladies are free to run and play the field as they see fit. jester has a big opening round flame strike. beau decides she can hold off on her round 2 blitz run to vm in favor of bringing molly onto the field. remember kids, never let a monk with 55ft of movement have the run of the place, it's bad for business. jester then makes a great play with her dispel magic at vax's haste. hashtag thanks, fjord. remember, kids, cockroach parties excel at taking turns and actions away from their opponents. in round 2 alone, the nein successfully remove percy from the field and remove vax's extra attack. that's both big damage dealers hobbled in one round. they also gave themselves an extra turn, adding molly onto the field. and oh boy, molly.
here we see the utility martial fighter molly could have been. sam's confused by the low damage that molly's doing his first round but the damage isn't really the point of the attacks. that brand of tethering is far more important, as are taliesin keeping an eye on which reactions will support the nein and molly's second attack wasting scanlan's reaction. counterspell is off the table for the back half of round 2-beginning of round 3, which is important if fjord wants to get the heck out of dodge.
in case it wasn't obvious earlier in the match that the nein are absolutely gunning for scanlan, round 3 begins with beau's blitz against scanlan. fjord's luck against the dominate person balances out with scanlan's save against the stun and beau missing one attack. here, vm starts to get distracted. they chose their focus fire target, fjord, but now do not, arguably cannot, follow through on it. we'll never know what could have happened had vm said to hell with beau and molly in our faces, we have to finish fjord.
vax tries to retaliate against beau but here's where the cockroach starts to come into play. molly blood curses vax, which saves beau a full sneak attack+ worth of damage. it also utterly wastes vax's turn. fjord manages to escape (and damage pike while he's at it) and regroup where it's safe. scanlan tries to dimension door but fails due to the brand. literally any other move scanlan could try on the pair of them had a better chance of success. instead, another vm turn is lost. taliesin recognizes the importance of getting beau advantage and supports her at the cost of two of his attacks missing, but not before scanlan is forced to cutting words one of them. another potential counterspell and cutting words lost. neither jester or pike contribute significantly to this round; the nein have done so much damage to pike in three rounds that she is forced to heal herself while jester chooses to dimension door herself to the gem and only a low damage roll lets it evade her.
beau takes molly's setup and gets the critical scanlan stun. he loses his full round. fjord takes the opportunity molly provided him to polymorph into a t-rex, bringing him fully back into the fight. vm is really going to have a time and a half trying to finish him now unless they can put up a big single damage attack. jester builds on beau's setup by casting flame strike, whose dex save scanlan automatically fails. he goes down. if you're the nein, this is exactly where you want pike focused, on her team and not on yours. she has access to most of the same spells that jester has and the more you pressure her to focus on her team, the better. it's not wasting her turn, precisely, but it is controlling what she can reasonably do with it.
now we come to percy versus beau. i don't want to diminish the insane good luck beau had to take only 26 points of damage from six shots because what matters here is that percy absolutely could not down beau. period. her hit points were too high and after she took almost nothing from the first two shots, it should have been clear that she was going to get her turn and she would absolutely attempt to stun and down pike and scanlan. i'm not going to monday morning quarterback this fight but i will point out that the more rolls travis has to make to maintain concentration, the greater the chance he fails and you get to hit fjord's actual hit point pool and trade fjord for scanlan. and if you can get him before he can get back into the fray, even better.
beau stuns the gnomes and drops scanlan again. her inner cockroach rears its head once more as she negates more than half the damage on vax's critical hit sneak attack. fjord-rex downs scanlan and grapples pike. the stun on pike here really helps negate that high AC of hers. after scanlan's death, it's a long slow death spiral. vax abandons the fight in the next critical round in favor of keeping the gem instead of targeting fjord. percy attacks beau once more instead of fjord due to fjord dangling pike over lava. he starts to focus on fjord only to get distracted by jester. pike goes down but vax gets caught by beau before he can get her back up. and so it goes with vm losing turn after turn after turn until finally the nein poof percy out of existence and bring molly back. a fitting end for the team who started their final boss fight with eight and came out nine.
bottom line here, the vm team played like they had way more time than they actually did. they had to commit to a target and see it dead as fast as possible. they had to control the battlefield quickly and keep it. they didn't so they couldn't. aside from building on damage dealt, they couldn't create advantages or opportunities for each other nearly as effectively as nein did. all of these factors meant that the nein did what they always do: grind their enemies under heel.
#critical role#cr meta#critical role spoilers#vm vs m9#vox machina vs mighty nein#d&d mechanics#vox machina#mighty nein#the mighty nein#cr spoilers#my meta#long post#don't let your opponents run circles around you kids#control the battlefield or the enemy will control you#teamwork makes the dream work
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"#essek's other relationships ESPECIALLY with Jester and Beau are just as important i think" PLEASE elaborate on this tag! I haven't seen anyone talk about Essek's relationships with anyone else in the Nein besides Caleb, and people don't talk enough about Beau's, Veth's, or Caduceus' relationships in general. ~aeoranexpat
I would LOVE to elaborate thank you!
It's really disappointing to me when people act like Essek's only major relationship is that with Caleb. For sure, they're great narrative foils and they understand each other in a way few others can. But it took a long time and it wouldn’t have happened at all without the others. Essek's redemption came about because of his relationships with ALL of the M9. (Under a readmore because it got kinda long!)
Essek and Jester's relationship is probably my favorite. This post already covers why Jester was the driving force of his redemption - she's the one who was constantly making overtures and friendly gestures and the rest of the M9 followed her lead on that.
I love this relationship because I think Jester was probably the person Essek disliked the most in the beginning. She’s loud, flamboyant, boisterous, overly familiar - the complete opposite of the stoic, dignified Shadowhand of the Dynasty. But no matter how many times he rejected or disappointed her, she kept reaching out because Jester’s love and friendship is unconditional!! Even when they found out he was the traitor, she never hesitated in calling him a friend! Can you! imagine! the feeling of being offered unconditional love and friendship for the very first time in your life! Of being offered almost immediate forgiveness for an unforgivable crime! I love Jester Lavorre and so does Essek!
I think Beau’s relationship with him is also very important. It is, of course, absolutely hilarious that Essek, Secret Traitor With Many Life-Threatening Secrets, got put in charge of liaising with an Expositor of the Cobalt Soul, Person In Charge Of Finding Secrets. This is another great narrative foil that I feel gets overlooked a lot. Can you even imagine how stressed out Essek must’ve been? Getting found out was probably a relief by the time it happened jfc.
Beau was initially welcoming, if wary, but she was also wildly awkward about it which hey! So was Essek! Watch these two socially inept nerds try to make friends! And then his betrayal was uncovered, and she immediately went hard against him. Which, fair! I appreciate that Essek always made it clear that he knew he wasn’t entitled to forgiveness or trust, because he wasn’t. And I love that Beau also made it very clear that she knew that. But he got it anyway, and honestly -
Jester forgave him easily because that’s who she is. Caleb forgave him because he saw himself in Essek. But Beau? Beau’s whole fucking deal is rooting out corruption and evil. It took longer, because he really had to prove himself. But I have to imagine gaining her forgiveness felt the best. Because if Expositor Beauregard Lionett says you’re a good person? You know she’s not bullshitting you or doing it for personal reasons. It’s because she truly believes it, and it’s literally her job to make that call.
Those are the two I find most interesting, although everyone else has their own relationship with him. Veth in particular was the one he most actively harmed by kidnapping and torturing her husband and almost orphaning her child, which was kinda glossed over a lot tbh! But he also helped develop and cast the spell that got her body back, and now he’s dating her best friend - their relationship is FRAUGHT.
Yasha and Essek both know what it’s like to be Xhorhasian in the Empire and to be socially awkward about it. Caduceus has such a drastically different view on life in general, and I think there’s a lot of potential there in their friendship and how it affected Essek’s view on things. And Fjord, the “leader” who considered himself responsible for the group’s safety, was willing to trust Essek with that safety both initially in Xhorhas and again in Aeor.
So yeah, when people portray it as “Essek’s relationship with Caleb (and-also-the-M9-in-the-background)” I think it’s doing a massive disservice to both Essek and the M9! Essek’s individual relationships with everyone in the M9 are complicated and important, and his platonic relationships are every bit as important as his romantic one!
#thank you SO MUCH for letting me expound on this i have a lot of Opinions#also i literally always want to talk about jester lavorre and her platonic relationships.#which are also often glossed over in favor of romantic pairings tbh!#critical role#critical role spoilers#kind of#instantgentlemenvoid
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I can't believe what I've found
A new multi-chapter fic begins!! Huge thanks to @minky-for-short for the idea and my gorgeous love @nb-fearne for being a beta reader!
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Caleb Widogast is famous. He's one of the most prolific and most spine-tingling horror authors currently on the scene, putting out nightmares like clockwork ever since he started his career, coming simply out of nowhere.
Until he went quiet. And now he's apparently writing a children's book of all things?
Gods only know how this will turn out.
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The only thing worse than giving interviews, Caleb reflected miserably, was reading them back the next day.
Veth told him not to. Beau told him not to. Percy told him not to. The small part of his brain that could be rational this early in the morning told him not to. But every time he would memorise when the interview was going up, whether it was being broadcast on the radio or printed in a magazine or, like this one, posted to the internet. And still, ten minutes before that time would find him frantically refreshing the front page of the book review site, waiting for it to appear so he could read it and feel like shit about himself.
And around half an hour later, Veth would let herself into his flat to find the man himself with his shirt pulled up over his head, face down on the kitchen table, moaning in misery as his laptop cast a baleful glow over his bedhead.
“I told you not to read it,” was all she said that morning, setting a takeaway cup of coffee and a wrapped croissant from the cafe beside him. Veth had learned a long time ago that Caleb needed to be fed at times, in pretty much the same way you fed a feral cat who frequented your garden.
“Why do I keep agreeing to do this?” Caleb lifted his head at the smell of warm butter and crisp pastry, snagging the edge of the paper bag with a finger.
Veth took the seat across from her friend, starting to shift through some of the clutter on the table, just one puddle of the wider garbage ocean that built up in the flat when Caleb was in one of his moods, “Well, my apologies for neglecting to explain this to you, being your agent and all. But when authors have a new book coming out, they do what’s called press? So people actually know the book is coming out so they can buy it.”
Caleb gave her sarcasm an unimpressed stare, chin now dusted in croissant flakes, “You think this is going to improve my sales?” He turned back to the screen, back to the article, jabbing an accusing finger at one paragraph in particular, “You would think the dark minded architect of some of the most twisted horror novels in the last ten years would cut a more impressive figure. But Caleb Widogast- assumed to be his pen name- turns up to our interview having spilled coffee down the front of his yellow flannel shirt while on the bus and apologising profusely.”
Veth couldn’t help her mouth twitching up into a smile, “Well, we got the stain out of that shirt in the end, didn’t we?”
Caleb ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up even worse and scrolled down to another bit, “When asked how he fills the pages of a frankly ridiculous number of novels with such nightmares, Widogast just shrugs. “I don’t know where it comes from,” he admits in his humble Zemnian countryside accent, “I suppose I did not realise how it would affect other people. Of course I didn’t fucking know, that question wasn’t on the list they sent me.”
Veth’s mouth did tighten at that, “Wasn’t it? Interesting. Last time we do any PR with that site then.”
“‘Humble’. Ficker,” Caleb muttered darkly as he scrolled, “More thinly veiled insults...Gods, okay, I get it, I look like a librarian. Do these people expect me to show up covered in blood? Ach and then this...After an hour or so of slightly awkward conversation, Widogast finally gives us a scoop. I asked why, after so many years of staggering productivity, has the resistant horror master gone suddenly silent? Six months without more nightmares on the shelves when he’s used to putting out at least a book a year. Well it turns out Widogast is working on something new. It’s just not going to be in the section you’re expecting. Parents, get ready for months of bed wetting and your kids sleeping between you because Caleb Widogast is turning his hand to picture books.”
Veth winced a little, folding her hands around the cup of coffee she’d brought for herself, just for something to do with them, “Ah. Right.”
Caleb finally shut the laptop, apparently even he had limits on how much damage he was willing to do to himself, “Veth, this is exactly what I knew would happen. This is why I shouldn’t have done this!”
He looked despairing, the telltale signs of a panic attack leeching in through the way he was tugging on the sleeves of his jumper, the way his leg was bouncing, the way his eyes were starting to unfocus. Within a second, Veth was on her feet and jumping down from the chair, moving to hold her friend’s shoulders tight, having to stand on her tiptoes.
“Caleb, it was one bad interview, okay? They won’t all be like this, I promise.”
Caleb’s eyes said he didn’t know if he wanted her to be right or not. Veth had seen that expression on his face a lot over the years she’d been his agent, mostly when she’d first convinced him he should publish some of the piles of composition notebooks he’d filled with pencil chicken scratch, telling him that if getting it out made him feel better then surely putting them out into the world would help even more. And if she didn’t know how right she’d been, she would have gladly let Caleb retreat backwards into his safe, comfortable life publishing pulpy horror novels and making a small fortune he donated ninety nine per cent of to charity.
But Veth had been right about publishing his work, first online and then as actual books when there was an immediate interest, she’d been right that he would feel that weight on his chest lift even more with every pair of eyes that read his work. And she was going to be right about this too.
So she put her hand on Caleb’s rough cheek, prompting him to look at her. There were red rings around his eyes from his night of poor sleep, his mouth turned down at the edges, his jaw scraping and slightly rusty from his incoming beard.
“You know why you’re doing this,” Veth said gently, telling him not exactly what he wanted to hear but what he needed to hear, “That’s enough. You’re enough. Yeah?”
It took a moment but Caleb finally nodded, the fact that he’d at least managed to sleep, the fact that he’d eaten and drank and he’d closed the laptop when it had gotten too much helping him see what was real, past the dark clouds at the edges of his mind.
“Yeah. Okay.”
“Exactly,” Veth gave his cheek one last pat before letting him go, “And for what it’s worth, people are really excited about this new book. People who aren’t assholes who just want to get eyes on their dumb internet articles.”
“I don’t know about that,” Caleb shrugged, taking another long sip of his coffee to stop the lingering shakes in his hands, “Excitement could really quickly turn to disappointment when they actually read it.”
Veth snorted at that, picking up her messenger bag and throwing it back over her shoulder. It rattled as she did so, probably with buttons and trinkets she kept in there to entertain her baby son or herself when she was bored in her days full of meetings negotiating deals for clients. She hadn’t been a literary agent before she met Caleb but now she was, she was a damned good and busy one.
“Then let's enjoy it while it lasts, huh?”
Caleb grunted at that, now down to the bitter dregs. He swallowed those too before he asked, a little guilty, “You came all the way down here to pull me out of a self loathing spiral with a croissant?”
Veth tilted her head, “That..and also to remind you about the launch party tonight.” She said the last part quickly like she was hoping to get out of the door before he’d fully processed it.
No such luck. Caleb gave a strangled groan, hands flying over his face before he slumped down across the table again.
“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck.”
Veth sighed, turning back and mentally shifting her schedule back by ten minutes, “Come on, Caleb, we made our peace with this…”
Caleb’s voice being muffled by his palms and his kitchen table didn’t hide the despair in it, “Why didn’t I just be one of those authors who lives in a cabin in the woods and won’t appear in public?”
“It isn’t public!” Veth insisted, her voice placating like she was trying to get a frightened kitten out from under the fridge, “It’s being thrown by the publishing house, it’ll just be people you already know! Well…”
Caleb’s blue eye peeked out from between his fingers, accusing, “Well what?”
Veth took a deep breath and held up her hands, “Okay, I was going to let it happen a little more naturally but...I think that might be a bad idea. Percy thinks he’s found your artist.”
Caleb shot upright, an expression on his face that was hard to read but looked like it could go a number of ways. It looked like the expression a computer might have when it was fed incorrect data.
“Excuse me?”
Veth played with one of her button earrings, a sign she was getting slightly nervous, “Obviously, Percy wouldn’t make any decisions without checking it over with you. He’s just found someone whose portfolio looks really good and whose style really seems to match what you’ve written so far, that’s all. He just wanted you to bump into each other tonight, get talking and see what you thought.”
Caleb’s heavy brows furrowed, “Percy would never assume I’d talk to someone at a party.”
Veth gave a little laugh at the indignant expression on her friend’s face, “Maybe he was living in hope. But that is actually what you’re supposed to do at these things, you know. It’s called networking.”
“Disgusting,” Caleb grunted dismissively, clearly wanting to pull on an earlier thread of conversation, “But who are they, this artist? What do they do, have they done picture books before? Have they read the manuscript? What did they think?”
Veth chuckled, gently blocking the tidal wave of questions she could see building behind those few, “Okay so? That is exactly what you say to them when you meet them!”
Her friend’s face pinched unhappily, a war clearly happening between his dislike of parties and his desperate need for answers to those questions. That was the way of it with Caleb, dangling a carrot that was bigger than the stick he’d beat himself with.
Eventually he blew out his cheeks in frustration, rubbing a sweater covered fist into his eyes, “Fine. I don’t know what to wear though.”
“I know, honey, that’s why I left a suit for you in the living room.”
Caleb frowned and rocked back on his kitchen chair. His apartment was still very poky, as poky as a bestselling author who gave ninety percent of what he earned to charity could afford in his city, so he didn’t have to go far to see the edge of the suit bag draped over the sofa.
“It better not be itchy,” he mumbled, folding his arms sulkily.
“How long have I known you?” Veth snorted, nudging him lightly, “Percy said he’s sending a car at seven. You’re getting a ride with Beau so you don’t have to walk in on your own, just hide behind her all night if you like. But if you need me, I’ll be at the bar.”
Looking at him, pinching the bridge of his nose and cheeks puffed up in an exasperated sigh, you’d think Caleb was regretting the day he’d said yes to Veth’s suggestion to publish his stories, as long ago as it had been now. But she knew her friend. More than that, she knew who he’d been before. Veth could remember the days just after they’d gotten out of rehab, the days where he wouldn’t be able to get out of bed, where he’d be scared to go out on the street in case he saw someone he knew, afraid to close his eyes for the same reason. The days when everything he’d been through was a rock in his stomach, keeping him from eating, drinking, sleeping, doing anything but sitting on his bed and picking at the bandages covering the burns on his arms.
Writing it all down, versions of it that had him carefully clipped away and the edges neatened, was the only thing that shifted it. Sending it all out into the world, taking what he’d never been able to tell anyone and telling everyone without them knowing, that had shrunk it down enough that he could start to heal.
And now Caleb was here, washed and dressed in his own apartment, eating and drinking without prompting, making plans for how he could now reach out and help other people the only way he knew how. His own quiet, gentle way.
Veth couldn’t put into words how proud she was of him. Or how hard she would fight to help him do what he needed to do next, now that old coping mechanism was failing.
She reached up and put her hand on his shoulder, squeezing tight, “Caleb?”
His blue eyes slid over to her, the tension in his face relaxing a little. There were too many lines at the edges of those eyes, they seemed older than the man who owned them.
“I’ll be at the bar if you need me,” Veth said again, gently, “We’ll all be there if you need us.”
A small smile flickered over his face as he nodded, “I know.”
“Seven,” Veth reminded him again, with a squeeze, before finally turning to the door. There were many reasons Caleb was her favourite client- not that agents were supposed to have those- but a big one was knowing he would never be late for anything.
Even something he absolutely didn’t want to do.
“I really don’t want to do this.”
Beau gave him a raised eyebrow over the glow of her phone screen. It threw her harsh, dramatic eye make up into sharp relief and made her look of exasperation sting even more.
“And water’s wet,” she muttered, throwing one leg over the other. The back of the car was spacious but the size of her heels still risked catching Caleb on the shin, “Why do you think they send me in with you for these things? It’s so I can tackle you if you try to run away.”
Caleb grunted, leaning against the cool window of the car to try and take some of the heat out of his face. Beau had dragged him into a few events by the collar, that was true. But she’d also pulled the fire alarm to get him out of one or two, when he’d been really struggling. What else was your editor for?
“Have you met them? The illustrator?” he eventually asked, eyes following the lights streaking past on the other side of the glass, the city blurring by.
“Seen his work,” Beau shrugged, tapping away on her phone, either eviscerating someone’s manuscript or promising to pick up food on the way home for her girlfriends, “It’s good. Kind of psychedelic. Lots of watercolours.”
“Oh. Is it colourful?”
“Oh yeah,” Beau nodded, pausing to take a long drink from the complimentary champagne glass. Or rather, Caleb’s complimentary champagne glass, hers had been drained before he got in the car with her.
“Hm. I am not very colourful,” Caleb told the washed out shadows of the skyscrapers going past.
He heard Beau snort, “And the sun is hot. But this guy’s been suggested by the rich dude who owns the publishing company, Caleb, so you have to at least say a few words to this one before you give him the same boot you gave all the others. Sorry.”
Caleb pulled a face at the faint ghost of his reflection. He was aware he was being a bit unreasonable on this point, part of the reason why he’d gone so quiet after writing new books like clockwork for most of his career was because he was turning away artists again and again. Established industry veterans, complete unknowns with fresh illustration degrees, even famous names that would undoubtedly boost sales, Caleb had knocked them all back for admittedly flimsy reasons. He knew he was surprising his friends, maybe even pushing them towards frustration, but he couldn’t reconcile any of these beautiful sketches and paintings with the book he had in his mind. None of them fit his story and he often couldn’t even say why they didn’t.
Back when he had been writing about his pain, his fear and panic and isolation, it hadn’t mattered what the book came out looking like. The covers had those old fashioned painted images, real classic horror novel feel to them and that had been okay. Because those books had just been purges, getting the poison out of his mind and onto a page so Caleb could close it and sent it off and feel more space cleared in the dark attic that was his brain. Even if they’d borne no resemblance to his past- and he was very careful to keep them that way- the emotions were his and he was glad to be rid of them no matter what the painted blood and bone on the cover looked like.
This was different. This was so different and so important that Caleb still didn’t have much faith in his ability to actually do it.
But if he was going to do it, he had to do it right.
“I’ll talk to him,” he mumbled sulkily, “We’ll just...we’ll see.”
“Well we’re going to see pretty soon,” Beau pointed out her window, “De Rolo building, ten o’clock.”
Of all the towering, sleek skyscrapers in this part of the city, the de Rolo building put the others to shame. Percy might shrug and say it mostly looked after itself, and always had done since he became the de Rolo in charge of it, but even static it was a mighty thing. Caleb never had reason to visit the engineering department, the R&D floors, the software development department, the many floors Percy had given over to focus on the company’s charitable efforts. The publishing house took up a relatively small part of it all, more Percy’s passion project than anything that kept the family fortune turning over, but they had a good few noted authors on the roll call now.
It suited Caleb, writing for Percy. Percy had known him for a long time, after all. He understood his eccentricities, his strange schedules, his discomfort with too many public appearances.
And above all, Percy knew just enough to know what questions not to ask.
All events like this were held in the expansive balcony garden, magic working in harmony with engineering to keep out any of the city’s nightly chill and noise and maintain an overflowing jungle on one of the vast glass balconies. Beau and Caleb didn’t need directing up to it, not that anyone would, it was a hard thing to miss, the explosion of green up just below the roof. But they’d been here before, both of them familiar with the soft murmur of conversation, the clink of glasses, the instant burst of fragrance from the flowers as soon as they stepped out of the elevator. There were beautifully dressed people of all different races moving through the foliage, disappearing and reappearing like tigers in silk and gemstones. Caleb recognised most of them, they were people who worked in the publishing house, everyone from the interns to the agents. Percy didn’t like to leave anyone out of celebrations like these. Some of the better dressed faces were new however, probably the investors and donors or the rich socialites who just spawned at events like this.
It was familiar, which meant Caleb was very familiar with the sinking feeling of dread as the glass doors slid open.
“Whose party is this again?” he hissed to Beau as she threw an arm around his shoulders and walked him forward.
“You remember the manuscript Percy got sent a few months ago? The box that was all mouldy and mossy and a goddamn moth flew out when he opened it?” Beau hummed, her heavy bracelets jangling next to his ear.
“Oh,” Caleb nodded, “The comprehensive field guide to forest flora?”
It certainly had been a strange delivery, a handwritten sheaf of pages in a heavy scrawl with no name or return address, but with detail and knowledge contained inside that any naturalist would have given their back teeth to know. Not the kind of thing de Rolo Publishing usually dealt with but there were entries in it that marked completely new discoveries, not using it would have been a waste.
That and Percy’s best friend was a druid who’d been practically salivating over the book since it had arrived.
“That’s the one,” Beau hummed, “Well, after asking pretty much every plant nerd in every university in the city and beyond, Percy finally found out who wrote it. That guy.”
She pointed, indicating one of the strangest individuals Caleb had ever seen. An incredibly tall, incredibly thin, grey furred firbolg dressed like a stoner college student became visible around one corner, ears flapping happily under a wide brimmed hat as he appeared to talk to one of the monstera plants. And, sure enough, as they were watching, Keyleth approached him and began gushing animatedly, which seemed to amuse the fellow no end.
“Ah,” Caleb mumbled, “Yes, that looks like the kind of person who would write that book.”
“Apparently he didn’t know people got paid to write books,” Beau shrugged, “He seems like a hoot.”
Caleb gave a less non committal grunt than he normally would. He did actually get the sense that the firbolg would be less stressful to talk to than most people. Anyone who turned up to his own book’s launch party dressed like that had to be quite easygoing. Plus he definitely looked like he’d have something in his pockets to help Caleb get through this evening.
Beau was giving him a look, an ‘is this a fire alarm situation’ kind of appraising look, “You good, man?”
Caleb hunched into his suit jacket a little further, “I’m fine. Just tired. Bar?”
Beau gave a laugh, jangling as she led the way to the sleek, backlit bar with it’s array of brightly coloured bottles, “Took the words right out of my mouth. Things will look better with a beer in your hand, you’ll see.”
Beau’s assurance worked, for the first hour at least.
Those sixty minutes were first spent catching up with Percy, who he bumped into at the bar, chatting about his kids. Then getting a swift hug from Veth, who bought him his first beer and told him all about the ridiculous people she’d been in meetings with. Then pulled into a loud, laughter filled conversation between Fjord and Beau, mostly with her teasing him about the title for the latest installment of his young adult pirate novels and him answering by sarcastically bemoaning that if only he’d had an editor whose job it was to stop him doing such stipid things. The man of the hour himself, apparently called Caduceus, actually drifted in at the end, eyes bright with interest about this story of Fjord’s. Beau and Caleb left the two of them talking, sharing grins over Fjord’s suddenly pink cheeks and goofy smile.
And then the inevitable happened and Beau’s promise was broken.
There was always a comment, usually from the people who didn’t actually work in their office, from the people with more jewels and more expensive looking outfits. Caleb would just be hanging on the fringes of a group, on the way to or back from the bathroom, or simply wanting to fade into the background for a little while to take a breath.
The comments came in different forms. I simply don’t know how you write such scary things! It’s so impressive how you can carry those gory ideas around in your head. Your last book gave me nightmares for a week, you must never sleep! I’d ask you where you get your ideas but I’d be frightened of the answer! They’d be delivered with a smile, like they were supposed to be compliments, like Caleb’s next line was to nod and thank them politely.
And he supposed they weren’t to know. How could they? But there was no getting away from the fact that those comments, those fake smiles, all they meant was that he’d turned it all into a joke. That he’d never be anything more than cheap thrills and scares they could close the book on and leave on their nightstand. That, to them, it was all a game.A game that was now all he’d ever be known for.
So, in the end, Ikithon had won. He was never going to be rid of him, not really.
Caleb knew he was being rude, as he mumbled some excuse and pulled away from the crowd he’d suddenly become trapped in. He nearly stumbled as he lurched for any of his friends but the tide of the party had drifted him away from them when he hadn’t been looking. So he just moved, kept putting one foot in front of the other, that realisation echoing over and over in his head and, on its heels, a question.
What was he doing? What the hell was he doing, trying to pretend any different?
Caleb felt cold stone under palms that didn’t seem like his own, he had a vague idea that his eyes were taking in the cityscape far below him. He tried to count the lights in the skyscrapers closest to this one or fix his gaze on one of the tiny cars far below and follow it until the hammering in his chest stopped making him feel like he was going to be sick. Things like that usually worked but the panic was growing, it wasn’t backing down the way it was supposed to and it was threatening to pin him down and-
“Hey? ‘Scuse me? Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude or anything but are you okay?”
The voice, unfamiliar and so much closer than he’d ever been expecting, was enough to jolt him out of his panic. Like he’d been dreaming about falling and suddenly slammed against his pillow, Caleb gave a soft gasp and jumped, only realising as he pulled away that a hand had been on his shoulder.
“Easy there!” the voice turned soothing, “Hey, you’re okay. Everything’s okay.”
Caleb found himself reaching back for the hand, holding on tight, brain still frantically gathering itself. Strong, calloused fingers squeezed back and he felt the press of some heavy rings.
“Deep breaths now. There you go, in and out. That’s it.”
Caleb obeyed, more than happy for someone else to do the thinking, dragging air in and out of his lungs until he could think straight. The connections between himself and his body parts came in scattered bursts, different parts coming back on line at different times, but eventually he felt himself back in control and began to assess the damage.
Thought one, he was uncomfortably sweaty. Thought two, he might have dropped his beer over the edge of the balcony which was a concern. Thought three, wait no, they had magical force fields to catch anything dropped before it hit the ground.
Thought four, he was clinging to a complete stranger’s hand.
Caleb whirled around, snatching his hand back, grimacing, “Sorry. I don’t know what…I’m sorry.”
The stranger’s smile stayed in place. They were a lavender skinned tiefling, bright red eyes and dark violet hair and dramatically curving horns that shone with adornments. They were an inch or so taller than Caleb- a lot of people were- and they shone softly as they rocked lightly on their heels. Some of it was the jewellery, some of it was their clothes, not expensive but artfully chosen leather trousers and a billowing sheer blouse in a material that looked like spun silver. Under it, Caleb’s eyes immediately snagged on a tapestry of tattoos across their skin, instantly enraptured by their intricacy and colour.
Which of course, meant he was staring.
Either they didn’t mind or they were used to it, the tiefling just chuckled, “You don’t need to apologise, its okay. And if you don’t know what was happening there, you were having a panic attack.”
“I…no, it’s not…I know what was happening, I get them a lot,” Caleb’s eyes darted around, relieved to see that they’d moved behind a large lavender plant and no one seemed to have noticed his panic, “I, um…thank you. For helping.”
The tiefling shrugged lightly, taking a seat on the lip of the planter, throwing one leg over the other, “Of course. Looked like you were getting a little overwhelmed with all the people, huh?”
Caleb sat down beside them, glad of the excuse to let the shaking leave his limbs. He blinked as they passed him his mostly drunk bottle of beer, they must have caught it for him just in time.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, taking their offer to tap it against their own glass of clear alcohol, “Prost.”
“Cheers,” they smiled, “I don’t blame you, y’know. I’m completely out of my depth here too.”
Caleb finished his beer and regarded them curiously, “Hm? You’ve not been to a book launch before? Have you just started working here?”
Maybe it was presumptuous but, looking closer, the tiefling’s outfit was definitely either second hand or handmade or some combination of both, their jewellery looking like costume jewellery or thrifted pieces. That didn’t speak to a new donor or a socialite just looking for something to do with their Saturday evening. Maybe this was a new intern or researcher, Percy tended to hire students from the local colleges to give them a chance to earn some money while they got their degrees, deliberately making the hours flexible and hurriedly making up scholarships on the spot for anyone who was really struggling.
“Oh, well,” they pondered that, drawing a finger around the rim of their glass, “In a way, I guess? Though I’m not sure if it’s going to work out, I think I’m just meeting with someone to see if I’m a good fit…”
“Oh?” Caleb gazed out over the city, finding a few stars managing to bravely shine through the smog clouds, “You’re freelance?”
“Yep,” their gaze seemed to be following the same route as Caleb’s, a lazy smile in their voice, “Guess we’ll see.”
“Sorry, I’m being rude. I probably should have asked your name by now, seeing as you kind of came to my rescue and all.”
The tiefling shifted, turning towards him and holding out a hand, “Mollymauk Tealeaf. Nice to meet you.”
Caleb rolled that name around his mouth, enjoying the way it sounded and certainly enjoying having a more normal reason to clasp their hand again, hoping it might erase the memory of the first time, “Mollymauk. That’s nice.”
Mollymauk Tealeaf grinned, showing a set of pointed teeth, “You’re cute. And you are?”
“Caleb!”
The two of them turned to this answer that hadn’t come out of Caleb’s mouth. Percy walked up to them, his perpetually tired smile on his face. It was the only kind he’d been able to make since the twins had been born two months ago. There was actually a smudge of formula powder on his otherwise impeccable suit sleeve that people were politely not mentioning.
“I was just coming over to make sure you two had found each other,” he gestured to them, “But it seems like you got started all on your own.”
Caleb felt a little better about the expression of puzzlement on his own face because Mollymauk wore an identical one, “Huh?”
Percy chuckled, straightening his glasses, “Haven’t gotten to that part yet then? Caleb, Mollymauk is an artist. He’s the one I wanted you to meet.”
There was an almost audible click as everything fell into place. He felt his cheeks heat up, feeling quite profoundly stupid. Wonderful. So the person who had read his manuscript, one of the most deeply personal things he’d ever written, had found him having a panic attack at a party and had to sit him down in a lavender plant. He doubted there had ever been a worse start to a working relationship.
Caleb wasn’t looking forward to breaking Percy’s heart and sending him back to trawling through portfolios and Instagrams.
But when he glanced back, Mollymauk was smiling still, if a little coyly now.
“Oof. Sorry about that,” he held up his hands, gracefully abashed, “Honestly, I’m not a big reader so I didn’t recognise you straight away, Mr Widogast.”
That raised Caleb’s eyebrows, “You haven’t read any of my books?”
Molly shook his head, with a slightly thinner laugh, “No, sorry. Guess that doesn’t make me look very good does it? Guess I should just pack my bags, huh?”
But Caleb’s eyes had widened and he looked almost intensely alert, every trace of the panic chased away. Though neither of them were looking, a knowing smile flickered across Percy’s face and he took himself off to endure a little more mingling.
He hadn’t read any of his books. To this colourful, kind tiefling he wasn’t Caleb Widogast, famous and eccentric horror writer. He was just Caleb, who he’d already seen at his worst and was still here, still smiling.
“You can call me Caleb,” he gave a small smile back, “Can we meet tomorrow?”
#widomauk#caleb widogast#mollymauk tealeaf#critical role#author au#modern au#panic attack#please reblog and comment!
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I will say the current discourse becomes a lot funnier when you remember that Imogen suggested to and in front of Laudna (she did it more than once!) potentially siding the Vanguard AFTER one of them murdered her in cold blood just to get a rise out of Imogen -
- and *somehow* that hasn’t had the lasting impact on fandom that Orym fucking nodding at Laudna as she kills someone who just tried to murder them has?
Truly, bowlgate could *never*.
Hey anon,
Honestly while this is all very speculative and based on the relatively small cross-section of the fandom I see, as a person who will not touch Reddit and barely checks Twitter, the Orym and Laudna stuff feels cut from the same cloth as Bowlgate.
For reasons I cannot accurately pinpoint, though I have my theories, since I started watching and joined the fandom with the start of C2 there seem to have been people - maybe the same people, maybe there's been turnover - who have decided any interaction Marisha and Liam's characters have that isn't clearly entirely amicable (and some that are) is in fact an act of hostility. This has always baffled me, given that in Campaigns 1 and 2 they played characters who are particularly close, and that in Campaign 3 Liam's character is very much in homage to Keyleth. Insofarasmuch as I know the lives of the cast (ie, I don't), they seem to be extremely good friends, and from what I see at the table they have remarkably similar styles, a shared love of character conflict, and excellent chemistry (platonic or romantic). It has never made sense to me how intensely some people pit them against each other, either as Beau and Caleb or as Laudna and Orym, particularly when Marisha and Liam have never seemed to have even an ounce of rancor towards each other.
It feels very much born out of the "the only way to be a good character (or fan) is to be entirely deferential to my personal favorite character" mentality, and I've always found that mentality to be...deeply sad, honestly. I've said before that it baffles me that people watch a show with an ensemble cast of 7 players and act repulsed and offended when it's not a solo act. And for a fandom for a show where we just, demonstrably, treated a 3.5 hour episode as "unexpectedly short?" That is a huge amount of time to sink into something where you are miserable every minute that Laudna, or Marisha (or whoever your favorite character or actor is) isn't in the spotlight and leading the charge and given the royal treatment - let alone to watch CR with what appears to be an assumption that nearly everyone else at the table is actively out to undermine your favorite actor. That sounds exhausting and painful, and once I started thinking about that it made much more sense how vile and bitter these comments about an extremely mild choice from Liam and Orym is; because it's not really about Orym. It's about the nature of the show itself, which has always been the case and is unlikely to change. It might be other long-untended resentments as well. I'm reminded, tangentially, of how when I was frustrated with FCG as a character early on, I'd occasionally get people piling on in my inbox for utterly unrelated criticisms not of FCG but of Sam as a player that I found really offputting and which often made me pretty uncomfortable.
I do wonder if these people are not just upset that Orym (and Liam) are simply present; but if they are also frustrated with other things - perhaps with the campaign generally, or perhaps with Laudna herself - that they are afraid to admit they feel given how much they have staked their identity on their fandom preferences. Which again, sounds terribly lonely and draining and something to be pitied, irritating as it is for the rest of us.
Anyway, I think the best thing for everyone in the fandom not trapped in that particular mire of bad faith, cognitive dissonance, and curdled resentment to do is move on. I actually found it really heartening how many people on my post about Laudna's anger at Orym being entirely about the power from the siphon and nothing personal to Orym were like "until I saw this post it did not even occur to me that there was another interpretation of this scene." I certainly haven't been as good about this as I'd like to be, but I've really been trying as of late to approach the above paranoid reading mentality by depriving it of oxygen. In addition to the interesting conflicts brewing, there's been some great lore drops as of late. How about that portal?
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I have to say I love the Noodle!Caleb stuff you've been posting! It has the potential for that particular mood whiplash of tragic to hilarious that greatly appeals to me. Like, I just see Yussa darkly monologuing about the ethical and moral bankruptcy of this, how he wouldn't have thought even Ludins could have sunk so low - and then he feels a tug on his ear and looks at his shoulder in time to see Caleb sheepishly letting go of one of Yussa's big dangle earrings.
And, having Yussa's ancient gaze turned on him, Caleb looks up with big big eyes and chirps hopefully "For hoard?" And Yussa just sighs and twits off his least favourite ring and hands it Caleb who lopes off to the over-turned copy of "Courting of the Crick" where he's hidden some empty glass vials, shiny spell components and a few loose leafs of spell theory.
Tumblr ate the response I had to this when I saved it to my drafts, and instead of retyping all of it have an outline of what I had written:
Caleb is left with Yussa while Essek and Beau travel to Port Demali to research how Ludanis may have originally transformed Caleb, and any possible side effects from having spent 3+decades under the effects of such a spell.
Yussa summons/sends to his contacts on the Arcana Pansophical as well as Oremid Hass, to make them aware of what exactly Ludanis has done.
Given Ludanis’ disdain for the AP in general, and the AP’s limited authority within the Empire there’s little they can do to bring him to heel.
Oremid Hass makes it clear that King Dwendal, will take any condemnation of Daleth as condemnation of the crown itself, without irrefutable proof of his guilt. Allura rejoins, that while the Taldorei Council might condemn the use of such magics in principle, they would not be willing to pursue international action on the behalf of a dragon, particularly one whose origin is unknown. And that any further pressure from an outside force may well have to come from the Dynasty as they are the only ones with first hand prior knowledge of Caleb’s character.
Caleb manages to beg a ring from Hass, and promptly gets it stuck on his snout. Tiny noodle sulks while Yussa frees him from his self made containment.
#critical role#caleb widogast#dragon!caleb au#yussa errenis#allura vysoren#Oremid Hass#there was so much dialog that I labored over to make sound good#and it’s gone and I am very sad about it#I will at some point come back and flesh this back out but I’m far too upset to do it now
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Ok but what's your favourite parts about shadowgast, why does it scratch all the right places? 👀
It’sabouttheyearning.jpg
There’s so much to love. Clearly I have a TYPE, as my experience with choosing favorites went about like
Friend who got me to watch CR: So who’s your favorite so far?
Me: Shit how do I choose? They’re all great. Toss-up between Molly, Caleb, and Beau I think?
Caleb: *reveals his Tragic Backstory*
Me: never mind, that one, it’s that one
So I guess it was inevitable. Honestly? The BEST thing about it? Is that the talent behind Caleb ACTUALLY, PERSONALLY CONFIRMED THE ATTRACTION IS REAL. Multiple times. Not just in “nod nod wink wink say no more” encouragement to the fandom out of appreciation for his character’s popularity, but STRAIGHT UP SAID THIS MAN IS BISEXUAL AND ATTRACTED TO ESSEK IN MULTIPLE WAYS
Which means that if Liam ever nuts up there is a very real chance of it becoming canon. Like, not tinhatting, but an actual, real chance, and even if they never hook up, it is fucking canon that Caleb is into Essek. As badly as I’ve been burned by SPN and the MCU, and even to an extent Hannibal—gods know I love Bryan Fuller & co but as a frustrated queer man I’m allowed to be a little grumbly over (paraphrased) “they’re in love, it’s a love story, but not ~PHYSICALLY~”—my interest in Shadowgast was tentative at best until I reached that particular Talks Machina. And now they’re both escalating, manhandling each other, favoring each other, showing off for each other, like...this shit is real, and I’m reeling from it. This isn’t something queer people normally get to HAVE in media, especially queer men. But CR? CR puts blatant Shadowgast fanart on their official website and displays it in their fucking streams. I would say I have no words, but... *gestures at this post* ...clearly I fucking do, lol.
Normally we’re relegated to smirking subtext or established background couples that hold hands in the suburbs. There are countless stories in media of men who are, in subtext, very clearly bonded romantically, but textually “””really good friends””” or “””like brothers”””. Despite all our progress since the Hays Code, men in media by and large don’t get to have their attraction to each other treated as an explicit thing with real potential to be explored as a romance. They just don’t. It’s still too taboo. So for Liam to just casually say “Yes, the attraction is real” (again, paraphrased but only in terms of word order) is fucking monumental. So it gives me hope, something I’ve been short on for most of my life and that has not served me well in the past.
It has certainly helped to watch the rest of the cast’s /fucking faces/ during their Moments and know they ship it as hard as anyone.
But that’s all extradiegetic. Diegetically, I’m a sucker for narrative parallels, and Caleb has made the parallels of their trajectories explicit. I sat up and went 👀 the first time Caleb went out of his way to touch Essek, and they’ve been in orbit with each other ever since. So there’s an element of that “shared life experience” thing I love so much in Stucky: they understand each other in a way that no one else understands either of them; they mirror each other’s ambitions and transgressions, each other’s strengths and flaws. They have so much to offer each other even aside from their similarities as grown “gifted children” with tragic crimes in their pasts: an exchange of experience in culture and class; their forward-thinking imaginations; their loyalty, previously sworn to no one; their resources, both the disparate and dirty and desperate from Caleb, and the refined and academic and political from Essek; their power, in terms of magic and intellect and sheer will (power exchange joke goes here).
They are the sun and the moon and I ache for an eclipse.
All this, and the fact that they should by rights hate each other, but both are apostates in their own way; both long for change and are willing to break reality to achieve it. They could bring out the best in each other or the very worst. They are a volatile mix and I want to see what new molecule will come of their atoms bonding, as well as the explosive chemical reaction when it forms. They are a perfect match that should have been perfect nemeses, had things played out just a little different for them both. What’s more beautiful than that? What’s more powerful than that? To see these two men who are nuclear reactors, who are stars, spiral together through the dark, on track to crash together and leave nebulae in their wake. There is so much potential energy generated when they sway close and every week we come closer to it becoming kinetic.
I should temper my expectations. I’m not a prognosticator, as my history has clearly fucking shown time and again; I can’t know that it’s a WHEN and not an IF. But the odds, man. They’re the best goddamn odds I’ve ever had.
Now here at the end of this I should disclaim that I have drunk half a bottle of $4 strawberry wine so please excuse me drunkenly waxing poetic like the pretentious piece of shit I am. Thank you and good night
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The starting deadline had been his first gray hair. As a ginger person, it took him quite a lot longer than Fjord, who had started going all 'silver fox' by the sweet age of 20, and even Veth, who had just begun showing off a silver fringe around last year. He was, as far as he knew, the very last one. (Yasha and Essek didn't count in this comparison, for obvious reasons, and Caduceus disqualified based on dietary reasons...)
But no matter how long it lasted, they had destroyed his last chance to save his parents in Aeor, and with it the only possibility to stop times' ever advancing gravitational pull on his very own sword of Damocles. There was the Time Stop spell though, and sometimes, Caleb had walked in on Essek, late at night, or early in the morning, when humans can be reasonably expected to be fast asleep, buried in Dunamancy books that specialized on time. It could have been nothing. Time was Essek's specialty, as he kept reminding Caleb. But maybe Essek, too, was trying to look for a way to stop time, in a very particular, partial way. And somehow, that thought hurt even more than pretending the Drow didn't care.
Essek was making plans of torturing his lover by inviting Jester to arrive a week early for Caleb's fifty-fifth birthday – “You know she would love to help with preparations, and you will do everything in your spell book's power to finagle your way out of having to celebrate, which I won't allow this year.” – when it was there: In the mirror, in between red and orange and ginger. Caleb stared at it.
“Do you think we should move Jester's and Fjord's room next to Veth's and Yeza's until everyone else arrives?” Essek's voice from the room next doors shook him out of his stupor. He sounded so lost in thought about something so mundane... Caleb twisted the thin, white strand around his palm.
“Yes, we should,” he said, as he ripped as hard as he could. Only his birthday. They had still time until after his birthday. He wasn't gonna drop dead in front of his ever-young boyfriend because of a gray hair. He didn't need to leave Essek right now. Plus, when the Nein were there, on his birthday, and staying over until at least a couple of days after, Essek wouldn't be alone. Yeah. He shouldn't be alone. That was the whole point.
“I think they will appreciate not being alone on the third floor.” Essek poked his head in, and Caleb saw his fanged smile in the mirror as he tried to hide the tiny sliver of gray in his hand like Essek would see it as the proof of betrayal that it was.
He forced a smile on his own face, but it make his cheeks hurt. “As will you, I'm sure.”
Essek let out a huff that was almost a laugh. “I could never alone,” he said. “Not when I am with you.”
His cheeks still hurt. But now his eyes stung, too.
“Caaaay-leeeeb!” Jester, as usual, was very versed in using her outside voice, right next to his ear. “Oh my gosh, you're sooo old now!”
He winced a bit. Weird, he was used to her voice, wasn't he? And his ears weren't bad, but they also were not what they used to be. “I am exactly one day older than 55,” he answered her warily.
“Yupp, birthday's over now, birthday boy,” Veth nodded. “I'm sorry if we're in the way of you two love-birds celebrating it in a more private way.” She grinned at Essek who was standing next to him, their shoulders not even touching, but for some reason, Veth acted as if they were digging for each other's tonsils with their tongues. (As she does.) When nobody else dignified her remark with a reaction, Jester squealed: “Like making tiny ginger Drow babies that float and have really good hair and a weird accent!”
“Or, you know, just fucking,” Veth shrugged.
“Yeah, I don't think making babies works that way, Jester,” Fjord hummed, imperturbable by now to Veth's crass language or his wife's antics.
Caduceus smiled down at the Half-Orc, a tiny glint of mischief in his eyes: “How can you be so sure?”
And of course, Kingsley was right there with him: “Exactly! With two wizards, you never know. Might make tiny cat babies trying to figure out how to explode a house.”
“Or explode a library trying to make soup,” Beau added flatly.
“That was one time, Beauregard,” Caleb cut in at the same time as Essek said: “I still am very sorry about that. I hope you told the Soul as much.”
The monk shrugged. “'s fine. Was more fun than I had there in a week.”
“Also since you always come in disguise, they don't really know who you are and you can still come back and visit us and go look at books,” Yasha tried to cheer him up.
“Very nice,” Veth said and gave them a thumbs up. “But back to fucking.”
In the corner of his eye, Caleb could see Fjord facepalm. The blue Tiefling on his arm wasn't as merciful however: “Yes, tell us if you can make tiny floatie Eslebs! ...Cayseks?”
“Through fucking,” Veth added with a nod. She was clearly trying to get a rise out of either of them. Yeza might have been looking apologetic, but he was very clearly relieved that for once, he wasn't the victim of his wife's brutal teasing.
Caleb wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of blushing, but he assumed that he wasn't her prime target anyway, since he was pretty shameless when it came to these things. “I think it might be time for bed for me,” he simply said and was already turning around when he felt someone grip his wrist. When he turned to look, Essek leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek, but only to disguise the whisper in his ear: “Do not dare leave me alone with them while they are in this mood!”
He couldn't help but laugh, throwing Essek's clever ruse of faking a kiss to be subtle about his plea to the wind. “You could come with me,” he suggested.
“Always,” Essek promised.
Leaving tonight would be cruel, Caleb decided. Maybe he shouldn't leave Essek here with them, when they would needle him day and night about what might have transpired between them that had made Caleb leave. And Essek would be sitting up while they slept, mulling over their questions, thinking that he must have missed the clues, and that it was ultimately his fault. When in reality, it was just the inevitability of Essek finding him dead in bed one day, if he stayed for too long.
But even though he tried to leave early so that Essek would remember him as the man he fell in love with, rather than a geriatric, he still had years if he wanted to. He could wait a few months.
“Have fun fucking!”, Jester yelled after them and while Essek refused to turn around, Caleb just gave her a wary: “Ja, sure”.
Oh look! It’s a continuation of my last ficlet from this post!
And I turned it into a ~5k fanfic! (read the whole thing on ao3 here)
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Captivity and Escape in Critical Role
So this post has been sitting in my drafts for about half a year. It’s about a persistent theme I noticed throughout campaign 2, which I’m sure others have noticed and written about before, but parallels and recurring themes have always been my Thing, and I couldn’t let it go. And with last week’s episode, and the campaign finale airing tonight, and the dominance of this theme being more glaringly obvious than ever, I thought I’d just give myself a treat and finish up a giant meta post. For old times’ sake.
So, just for the heck of it, here’s an exhaustive exploration of a single through-line of campaign 2 since the very beginning: captivity, and escaping or being freed from it.
Let’s start by taking a quick look at everyone’s backstories, the things that happened to them before the campaign even started, and how they were ultimately resolved.
FJORD: Entered unknowingly and unwillingly into a pact with Uk’otoa, which bound him to perform services he never agreed to in exchange for powers he never asked for. Fjord did not know how he got into this pact or how to get out of it. He makes his escape when he pitches his sword into a lava river and pledges himself to the Wildmother.
JESTER: Spent the majority of her life “locked in her room” (or at least hidden from sight) until the consequences of one of her pranks forcibly liberated her into the wider world. While Jester loves her mother dearly and thinks of her long “captivity” as being for her own protection, its negative effects on her--loneliness, insecurity, a lack of worldly experience and social awareness--were still apparent, and she spends much of the campaign working through them.
BEAU: Her parents had her kidnapped by monks. It could be argued that even before the kidnapping, she was a prisoner to her father’s “over-protective” tendencies and her parents’ expectations when it came to her career, behavior, gender role, etc. But most significantly, she was very much kidnapped by monks, and made her escape from the Cobalt Soul shortly before we met her.
CALEB: Where to start? First he suffered coercion and abuse at the hands of Trent (a form of captivity); then he was made to torture and execute prisoners; then he spent eleven years literally imprisoned in an asylum, and had to kill and steal in order to escape; and four and a half years later, he met Nott when they were both thrown in jail (and had to engineer their own escape once again). Caleb’s ordeals ultimately made him a prisoner of his own guilt and fear, and escaping that prison has been the heart of his storyline.
VETH/NOTT: Besides the aforementioned stint in jail, the catalyst for her entire adventuring career was being captured by goblins along with her family--and then, after engineering the escape of her husband and son, being imprisoned in the wrong body (and subsequently enslaved!). The desire to escape from this second imprisonment was her driving motivation through much of the campaign. With Caleb’s help (and Essek’s, and Jester’s), she ultimately succeeds.
MOLLY: His first memory was of clawing his way out of a grave, which is just about as extreme a form of captivity and escape as you can get. More subtly, he was also a prisoner to the expectations placed on his body--to the life that body once lived, which he could not remember and refused to claim. Arguably (and tragically), his escape from this particular prison is his own death...until Cree resurrects Lucien, Mollymauk fragment and all. Then he presumably becomes a prisoner much like Yasha was, subsumed body and soul by a mind and a will that are not his own. Until last week.
... (incoherent sobbing)
Until last week.
YASHA: She was a prisoner to her clan’s laws and expectations. Her brief attempt to escape this prison through a forbidden marriage ended tragically, and then she was forced to make a second, literal escape (fleeing into the desert)--only to be (presumably) possessed by Obann, imprisoned inside her own mind, and forced to do his bidding until the Storm Lord liberated her once again.
CADUCEUS: When the gang first meet him, he’s literally a prisoner of his own fear (and/or inertia)--though his whole family has left the Blooming Grove, he’s been too afraid or hesitant to brave the corruption of the Savalirwood without companionship, and spent years isolated in the family temple as a result. The Mighty Nein (or rather, Caleb, Nott, Beau, Keg, and Nila) initiate his escape.
***
And that’s just the backstories! Now let’s take a look at each of the places the Mighty Nein have visited since they came together, and the story arcs therein.
***
TROSTENWALD - CARNIVAL ARC: This arc’s entire goal is to free the (future) Mighty Nein and the other carnies from jail or house arrest. (Much later, the M9 come back to pay Gustav’s debt and liberate him as well.) And remember that Beau is especially sympathetic to Toya’s predicament because she, too, was once a young girl held somewhere against her will.
ALFIELD - GNOLL ARC: This arc’s entire goal is to free the citizens of Alfield who have been kidnapped by gnolls to feed to their manticore leader (and to kill off the gnolls and manticore to keep it from happening again).
ZADASH: The Mighty Nein’s first undertaking in Zadash is to kill off the giant spiders in the sewer. In the process, they free a halfling imprisoned in a spiderweb, which leads them to the Gentleman and all his future quests.
Aside from that, their biggest job in Zadash this time around is the High Richter heist--which, yes, is a mercenary/political job that goes terribly wrong, but why does it go terribly wrong? Because Ulog, the M9′s NPC ally at the time, is so furious over his wife being wrongfully imprisoned by the High Richter that he impulsively blows up both her and himself. And arguably the most poignant moment in the heist’s aftermath is Caleb speaking to the next High Richter, Dolan, and ensuring that Ulog’s wife will be freed.
Also, let’s not forget the drow the M9 meet in the sewer. The one they capture, interrogate, and ultimately...let go. Yes, he’s killed shortly afterward and his beacon falls into their hands, but I think it’s very important to remember that the decision they make, when holding a captive terrorist from an “enemy” nation, is to return his stolen artifact to him and let him walk away free.
LABENDA SWAMP/BERLEBEN: The most memorable events during this interlude are: (1.) The M9 literally freeing Kiri from the swamp, where she is stuck in the mud and at the mercy of crocodiles, and (2.) Bowlgate, a.k.a. Caleb and Beau’s tense confrontation over what to do with Calianna, which is once again fueled on Beau’s side by her sympathy for a young woman held against her will. (Caleb proposes that Cali spend the night with the M9, which she did not intend, so they can use spells to determine her truthfulness the next day.)
HUPPERDOOK: This one’s obvious: The M9 fight a deadly automaton to free two gnomes from prison and reunite them with their children (largely to prevent said children from being taken to an orphanage against their will).
GLORY RUN ROAD/SHADYCREEK RUN - IRON SHEPHERDS ARC: ...Even more obvious. The sole goal of the remaining M9 members (and Nila) throughout this arc is to free their friends from slavery. They end up slaughtering all the slavers and freeing several other captives as well.
LUSIDIAN OCEAN - PIRATE ARC: Here’s where things get really interesting. Because this whole arc is also about captivity and freedom, isn’t it?
It’s about whether or not to free a little old captive named Uk’otoa!
I haven’t given nearly enough thought to how this arc fits in with all the others thematically, considering its central lesson is that freeing this particular captive would be a very bad thing. I do think it’s significant that:
(1.) The beginning of this arc, which leaves the whole party feeling so bad and icky, involves them quite inadvertently taking a captive of their own--and one whom they don’t treat very well. (And still don’t, for that matter...poor Marius.)
(2.) Soon after that incident, the M9 are themselves effectively taken captive by Avantika and her crew. This situation doesn’t last nearly as long as many audience members (and quite possibly Matt, and quite possibly the players themselves!) thought it would, because they panic on Darktow, go all Wall of Fire, and free themselves in a huge, climactic, desperate battle. The Mighty Nein do not take well to captivity.
Anyhow, they follow all this up with...
FELDERWIN/XHORHAS - YEZA ARC: ...another very straightforward quest to free a captive. Not only is this arc all about rescuing Yeza from a Xhorhasian dungeon, but after Caleb returns the beacon, after the Bright Queen of Xhorhas offers the Mighty Nein anything they want...all they ask her for is to let them go.
BAZZOXAN & BEYOND - OBANN ARC: ...By now, you know where I’m going with this, right? The entire arc is about freeing Yasha from Obann, who has her imprisoned inside her own body, inside her own mind. There’s a reason That Moment in the cathedral hit so hard, right? “And as you close your eyes, you see yourself breaking the shackles. You see the influence no longer holding any sway over your soul. There's nothing but the storm, vengeance, and hope.”
(Bonus: In the middle of the above arc, we get the HAPPY FUN BALL - RESCUING YUSSA ARC, which, once again, is devoted to freeing a captive.)
KAMORDAH/CYRIOS MOUNTAINS - ISHARNAI ARC: Aimed entirely at freeing Nott from the body in which she was imprisoned. Beau also has a bit of a freedom arc here: confronting the parents who imprisoned her figuratively and literally, turning her back on them (possibly for good), and then confronting a major source of the expectations and superstitions they shackled her with: Isharnai, who is neutralized by Jester’s cupcake.
THE MENAGERIE - CLAY ARC: Aimed entirely at freeing Caduceus’s family, who are imprisoned in perhaps the most literal way possible, being turned to stone. (The M9 also manage to liberate the Stone family while they’re at it.)
RUMBLECUSP - TRAVELER CON: Two great liberations take place here. First, all the residents of the Village of Vo are freed from Vokodo’s influence, their memories restored, their blind devotion dispelled, able once again to choose the course of their own lives. Second, the followers of the Traveler are freed from the deception he’s imposed on them, the cult he’s roped them into. Thanks to the Moonweaver’s interference, they, too, are free to make informed decisions. And I think we can also safely say that Artagan is freed from them, from the false “god” role he managed to box himself into, and he’s happier for it.
EISELCROSS - SOMNOVEM ARC: ...And this is it, folks. This is why I decided to finish this post today. Because I was openly not feeling the Eiselcross arc as an endgame. The hard slog through the elements just wasn’t doing it for me, or the frequent combat, or the increasingly complex lore, or the traditionally heroic quest to save the world from being swallowed by a monstrous city.
...Until last week. Until Lucien’s defeat. And Molly’s oh-so-improbable resurrection.
When I heard all the voices of the Somnovem whispering “Thank you” as their individual souls were freed from the Lovecraftian hivemind...when I heard Jester sobbing that at least Molly’s soul wasn’t “trapped” inside a monstrous Lucien anymore...when Cad’s Divine Intervention succeeded, and Mollymauk Tealeaf opened his eyes--his two plain old natural eyes--unburdened by Lucien and his Somnovem eyes and all of his dark baggage for the first time--I was finally able to embrace this as the ending.
Because it’s not about saving the world. That’s just a bonus. It’s about saving a friend. Freeing a friend. Freeing captives, wherever they find them. Whether from Crown’s Guard, gnolls, and giant spiders, or from royal dungeons; whether from ruthless enemies or from their own families; whether from eldritch abominations or from the forces that chain their own minds.
In the end, the Mighty Nein--and the people whose lives they touch--belong to no one and nothing that they do not choose to belong to. They belong to themselves, to the people they most sincerely love, to the gods and causes they have chosen freely. And that has always, always been my favorite kind of story.
And I can’t wait for tonight.
#critical role#c2e140#the mighty nein#i don't even know how to begin to tag this#fjord#jester lavorre#beauregard#caleb widogast#veth brenatto#mollymauk tealeaf#yasha nydoorin#caduceus clay#lucien#jester#beau#caleb#veth#mollymauk#molly#yasha#caduceus
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