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#painting it rn pray for me
ramiplss · 7 months
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it's 3am so good morning I have wine and a fucking sore shoulder bc I can't sit like a human while I work on Him
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arggghhhsstuff · 2 months
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when the plot twist is so world-shattering you have to go back and check the tags just to be sure you didn't miss anything
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miutonium · 1 month
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Hi! Are commissions open? If yes, where can I check for the details?
OH SO SORRY I DIDNT CHECK MY ASK BOX FOR SO LONG WAGHHH 😭😭😭
Anyway, my commissions are still closed unfortunately 😔😔😔 Im still catching up with my previous commissions too so I dont see me opening it anytime soon ;w;
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hearts-4-vicky · 2 months
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g!p julie fics are seriously understocked rn it's a crime
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made me bussanut ‼️‼️‼️
warnings: G!p Julie, 5th member reader, reader snuck in cuz she on hiatus😭, fan sign, edging…, semi public sex?, secret blowjob, natty is stupid, u slap her balls like once🎀 kinda short, i think thats it…
um not proofread again…
Everyone at the fan sign knew something had to be wrong with the Julie. To stuttering, gasping, and having her eyebrows furrowed nearly the whole time, people started to get worried. many speculated she missed you, since you were set to be on a hiatus for at least a month due to being accused of being a porn star being debut, (cut me some slack man… idk what to write😭) little did they know you were under the table, stroking Julie’s fat cock.
placing tender kisses along her length and on her tip, never taking her fully in your mouth. Julie had been on edge ever since she sat down, wondering when you would start a proper blowjob. your fingertips teased her tip while you were as the fans started to line up, Julie felt warmth around her tip, making her let out a soft whimper. you wrapped your fingers around the base of her cock, before taking more of it in your mouth little by little. head bobbing on her dick as you take her in your throat. your tongue swiping on the underside of her cock made her let out a low grunt, gaining the attention of the fan in front of her.
“um… are you okay?” the girl asked, before pushing the opened album in front of her
gulping, she answers while trying not to moan out loud “ghk- yeah! how are you though?”
“well-“ Julie had completely zoned out, focusing on trying not to start whimpering in the middle of the fan sign
timeskip… idk what to put man😔
Julie’s facade had started to break as the fansign came to a halt, breathing heavily as showed her no mercy. every time you felt she was gonna cum, you stopped your actions. waiting for the urge to go away before going right back to deep throating her throbbing cock.
As the members were resting, Julie was still trying to be as quiet as she can with her the overwhelming head she was receiving.
“Do you have a ding dong?” Natty whispered to her, breaking the girl from the trance she was in
“H-huh?” Julie gasped out, feeling you play with her heavy balls. your tongue swirling on her tip. Natty continued to speak
“Y’know.. like a… cum gun? pew pew?” Natty started to lean in closer, voice lowered in order to not disturb the other girls. “Or a joystick? whatever you call it!” she trailed off, before noticing the slight sweat around Julie’s neck. “mmfh- fuck..” you took her all in your throat now, pausing for a second before bobbing your head up and down “wha-“ “shhh… yeah I do h-hAVE! one.. oh shit…” Natty looked at her wide eyed as the girl now had her head thrown back. “The fuck?” she questioned the older girl. Before she could respond, Julie felt you bob your head faster, feeling her tip ram into the back of your throat. She brought her hands to her face as to cover her flushed cheeks and to quiet her moans😵‍💫 her cock was throbbing once again as you suckle on her mushroom tip, she prayed you would let her cum deep in your throat. Natty walked away not wanting to deal with whatever was helping with the leader. Julie felt the same knot in her stomach, nearly crying out as she thrusted hard into your awaiting throat for the first time of the night. she painted your insides white with her thick load, making you gag but not rejecting it whatsoever. she leaned back in her chair, riding out her orgasm as she breathed heavily.
“Get up! we’re gonna perform!” Belle called out to Juile. still recovering from her orgasm she panted out a response “huh? i t-thought we would get a little practice before that..” her mind foggy, only thinking about how she would pound your pretty little cunt after this. you giggle at your girlfriend’s cuteness before coughing loudly. hearing this, Belle stepped closer to find the source of the noise.
“what the f-“ Belle lifted the cloth on the table, revealing your topless figure
“oh!- um hi! miss me?”
“how are you here? why is there white on yo- EWW NASTY!”
“nuh uh! not nasty… my babygirl tastes good..”
“yeah whatever.. unnie put your dick away”
hi my loves 🎀 IM LOCKING IN FIX MY ACC RNNNNN n other shit um💪💪💪🤫🧏 wish me luck yall…
Anyway Love you guys and stay safe❤️❤️
-Vicky 💋
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achelouise · 26 days
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Lies, mysteries, and tricks
Fandom: Honkai Starail
Pairing: Sunday/Gen!reader, MENTIONED Gallagher/reader
Warnings: Spoilers for 2.1! Very toxic, from both sides, I think? Maybe OOC Sunday.
Summary: You learn about Robin's death, and rush to console Sunday. He isn't the thing you should be worrying about, though.
A/N: It's been a while! Came back to write this, because I couldn't stop thinking about this idea. It's rushed, and it's not really well-written, and it's short. Please forgive me~ (I am obsessed with Gallagher rn, so if anyone has any ideas I would love to hear and write about them :D (I still don't know how to properly use tumblr btw))
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“Sunday? Are you in there?”
No answer. You drum your fingers against your sides nervously.
“Sunday, can we talk? Please?”
Still no answer. Your heart beats widely in your chest.
You ignore your thunderous heart as you slowly push the doors of the mansion open. The creaking doors echo and bounce along the empty halls, revealing a giant room, devoid of any light. A luxurious bed, dorned with lights and gems and painted with beautiful colors, is tucked away at the very side of the room. Sunday’s bedroom.
The factions had established that, other than the man himself, Sunday’s blood-related family, along with his spouse, would have access to it. Sunday himself had no permission to grant access to anyone, so you are surprised when the bellhop simply glanced at you and let you in without protest.
You could only guess it was because you two were close friends, and they were used to seeing you enter the Pavilion as children. Still, to enter his bedroom must be a breach in security…
But he wasn’t in any other room you could find. Time was slipping, lives were being lost, and you needed to find him. Fast.
You’re not exactly in the know. Most things you know, only Gallagher has told you. But you know full well that Sunday needs support.
“Sunday, please. I know I haven’t visited in… a while. I know what happened, and I’m sorry. Let’s work this out together. Don’t run away. Please?”
Only your echoes answer.
You were rambling to yourself at this point, desperation climbing further and further up to your chest. You have seen what Sunday does when he loses those he loves- and you want to help him. You don’t ever want to see him like that again. Never again.
You glance at the papers scattered on his desk. Maybe they have some information on where he went. He likes to rant in diaries.
You close your eyes, and pray to whatever Aeon you follow.
Forgive my sins for ever trespassing privacy to this extent. 
You don’t exactly have a clear mind when you start to rummage through the papers that endured wear and tear. You start to read some.
How could she do this?
It’s fine. It’s fine. Itsfineitsfineitsfineitsfineitsfine
Robin. Dear Aeons, Robin. 
When I find the traitor I will make them pay in blo o d 
Please don’t leave me please
Please please please please pleasepleas  e 
Your stomach drops. Poor Sunday.
Something else catches your eye, though. A soft reflection of a photo, pinned at the corner of the widespread desk. You lean over to take a good look at it.
You bite your lip so hard it nearly breaks skin. But even that dulls in comparison to the piles and piles of photos- all of them just you and Gallagher.
There are a wide range of those photos; from you two sitting across each other in the Dreamjolt Hostelry, to your hands linked together, faces flushed and smiles bright. All of them, with Gallagher’s face crossed out with glaring, red circles.
How dare he HOW DARE HE HOW DARE HE
HE DID IT  HE KILLED HER   HE TOOK HER   I WILL MAKE HIM PAY
The words are jagged and rough, as if he had barely managed to carve it out with his bare hands. It is a gigantic contrast to the sweet and elegant cursives he writes in his letters to you. It almost made you believe it wasn’t even Sunday who wrote this.
But you’re not stupid. You swallow the bile down your throat as your stomach churns with heightened fear and uncertainty. Sunday is a clever man, which makes him infinitely more dangerous.
Admittedly, he is far more unhinged than the public understands. You’ve never had a problem with it- only crazy can recognize crazy, and that was probably how he uncovered the plan of that gambler.
This doesn’t work in your favor, though. You don’t want to know what it means when he directs this insanity towards you.
You turn to leave.
“Ah, you found me.”
A hand shoots out to grip your arm, and you have no time to react. Shock, as quick as it comes, is slow to settle down. You try to scream.
“Oh Triple-Faced Soul, please seal this traitor's tongue and palms with a hot iron, so that the traitor will not be able to fabricate lies and make false vows.”
No.
Your whole body goes cold. You feel it- the soft waves of Harmony pulsing in your head, trapping your tongue and seeing through your eyes. You had seen its effect- seen how it slaughters and breaks those who disobey. But to receive this kind of treatment yourself…
You finally process the dangerous situation you’re in, and wrench free from his grasp. You regain your stance as you stumble backwards, a question on the tip of your tongue. “Why?”
Sunday looks… off. His clothes are askew, his eyebags more apparent without the illusion of Harmony, and a smile, out of place and out of his mind. He chuckles, far too gentle, so much so that it sends shivers down your spine.
“You know how this goes, don’t you?” he coos, berating and condescending. “Answer my questions truthfully, or suffer the rejection of the Harmony.”
“Why would I ever lie to you?” you ask, “What is there even to ask?”
His eye twitches. His voice drops an octave, laced with poison and jealousy. “You know perfectly well what I mean.”
He breathes in, regaining his footing as the questions begin. “Are you interested in Gallagher? Is he interested in you?”
You think of him. A few hours ago, he insisted he came along to find Sunday with you. You’re starting to regret that decision. “Yes- and, I… I think so.”
Sunday tsks. “Do you know what he is? What it is?”
You cross your arms. “No. He is not human, but I am not exactly a young damsel in distress myself.”
“Do you not understand? That that man is nothing but a memetic entity, with thousands of truths woven together as a lie? Do you not know that the man you hold hands with killed Robin in cold blood? Why would you want to be with a foul beast like him?”
You are taken aback at the venom in Sunday’s tone. He isn’t even hiding it anymore. His breathing is ragged, and his eyes are blown wide.
“I… didn’t.” you admit, far too overwhelmed by his genuine frustration to confirm the validity in his claims.
Sunday suddenly withdrawals, as if sensing he has taken you off guard. He draws himself to his full height, casting a shadow with the light outside in the halls. The pulses in your head die out, as if they were never there.
“You are being tricked, dearest. He is not the man you think he is. He is a monster, a murderer, that serves under a shameful stain. Join me, in the pursuit of the Watchmaker. We can make all of them pay in blood.”
He rants, and you feel your heart sink. He is unstable because of this recent loss, but he has clearly not lost his mind. There is still rhyme and reason to what he does.
“My past? Hah, let’s not get into that just yet. I’ll tell you- someday.”
You glance down at the hand he offers you. His gaze is tender, but far too fragile. His lips are quivering, a silent plea.
You want to reject him. You want to scream at him, punch him, and run away, as far as possible. Gallagher had promised he would explain himself one day, and you had not mentally prepared yourself to know.
But given the unstable state he was in, it is unwise to simply respond with violence.
You reach out for his hand- only for a blade, dark and violet laced with gold, piercing from his stomach. Blue liquid pours from his gut, and this time, you truly do scream.
You don’t hear anything. The withdrawal of the blade is defeated by the look of despair and shock in Sunday’s eyes. He reaches for your hand, in a blind desperation- only to dissipate at the softest graze into a sea of bubbles.
Your heart thunders in your ribcage. A silent dread washes over you, and you hear your breaths grow shorter.
A lighter goes out.
Strong, warm arms envelop you. 
A voice, low and gruff, tells you that it’s going to be okay. The voice hovers over your ear, gentle and sweet, almost fabricated to ghost over your ear in a way you can’t refuse. You don’t respond, though, as you feel a sharp cut to your neck, and you’re out like a light.
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kisses4kaia · 1 year
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Charlie walker x reader smut where he’s very subby and unexpirienced
thank you 🧎🏻‍♀️
a/n; omgomg absolutely r u kidding me rn ? fem reader. obvi 17+ and intended for mature audiences .
movie night 💿 - c, walker ,,
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it's crazy what an innocent movie night at kirby's can end up as.
you and charlie sat in opposite corners of the spacious living room, watching stab III (per charlie's insistence). it had just started and you were already bored. the movie wasn't bad, per se, you had just seen it so many times before.
and well, you had always found charlie walker more interesting.
you'd always thought of him as attractive, having spent many a night with your fingers deep inside of you, imagining they were his, imagining what he would sound like, whimpering for you and your touch.
you knew he felt the same, if not, similar, about you. from the way he insisted on walking up the stairs after you (iykyk), to the untrackable count of times you've caught him eyeing you up and down, as though he was praying he would be gifted by the gods with x-ray vision.
but every time you got too close, he'd shut it down with a friendly remark. every. damn. time.
"that's actually really nice of you, thanks y/n,"
"haha, you don't mean that. funny, though."
"i think you look pretty nice, too,"
it drove you crazy, just how oblivious he was to your advances. the way the tv screen lit up his blown pupils, fascinated as he watched one of his favorite movies for probably the 1,000th time, made you bite your lip to contain the anything-but-holy thoughts ravaging your mind.
you were tired of sitting around, doing nothing about this ever-growing crush.
whilst everybody had their eyes glued to the screen, watching some girl get chased through her home, you pulled out your small iphone and clicked on charlie's contact. you had to do something he couldn't ignore, something he couldn't look over.
you clicked on the option to attach a photo to the text message. you scrolled through your camera roll until you found it.
the photo was of you, in your bedroom, in your mirror, seemingly trying on lacy, dark purple, lingerie. there was no shot he was taking this with friendly intentions.
you to charlieee <33 : *(1) attachment*
you waited a few moments before texting him again
you to charlieee <33 : oops, wrong person . sry. 😊
you watched as he reached for his back pocket at the sound of a notification.
and how his face, once painted with curiosity, twisted into shock, sights forced on the device. you had to bite back a smirk as he looked up at you.
you pretended that you were watching the movie and gave no attention to the boy whose pants were getting tighter by the second.
he cleared his throat before settling back on the couch, typing out a reply.
charlie to y/n🤩 : it's okay haha
charlie to y/n🤩 : do you mind me asking who that was meant for?
you to charlieee <33 : why does that matter 2 u?
charlie to y/n🤩 : i just want to know if you're seeing someone, or if it was for jill or kirby, yk?
charlie to y/n🤩 : not that i care if you're seeing someone!! that's really one of my business, forget i said anything
you to charlieee <33 : lmao but char, its ok if u do
charlie to y/n🤩 : what do you mean by that?
you to charlieee <33 : follow me and find out ;)
you casually got up and exited the living room, successfully not turning any heads. you found the guest bathroom and entered.
it was actually very nice, the lights were bright and luminescent, and the shower, sink, and toilet were spotless.
you waited a few minutes, sitting on the sink counter, before the door opened, revealing the one and only.
"what took you so long?" you teased flashing a smile. "i was debating whether or not i actually wanted this, well i do want this, very much so, but i was just-" he was rambling.
"well, you're here now, aren't you, charlie?" you slightly whispered before pulling him towards you by his shirt, settling in between your legs.
he was stiff as a board, he didn't know what he could do. you noticed this and grabbed his hands from his sides and placed them lowly on your waist.
you placed your arms around his neck very lazily. "you want this?" you looked into his eyes, which were dazed and hazy, seemingly drowning in dopamine.
he nodded. "mhm, yeah," he was breathless, becoming so impatient, needing to feel your lips on his.
you chuckled softly to yourself before finally giving the boy what he wanted. the kiss started out slow but heated up quickly as you started to tangle your fingers in his hair.
you swiped your tongue along his bottom lip and his mouth fell open easily, allowing it in.
charlie gripped your hips tightly. "easy, tiger. i'm not going anywhere," you pulled away slightly to say. this did not make him let up. there were surely going to be bruises in the place of his hands by tomorrow.
you began kissing down his jaw and neck, exploring and searching for a sweet spot. he whimpered particularly needily at one area on his collarbone and you attacked it.
he began running his hands up and down your sides, underneath your shirt. you translated his wandering hands and helped throw your top off. he tried, truly, to keep his eyes on your face and not on your chest but how could he? <33
"so, so, so beautiful," he whispered, leaning down slightly to knead your covered breasts. "too many clothes, baby. take 'em off for me, hm?" you more told him than asked.
like the good boy he wanted to be for you, charlie was quick to remove every garment on his body, save for his boxers.
you pulled your miniskirt off and were left in a laced, pale pinky-shade of matching bra and panties.
he took a small step back and stared at you intensely, like he wanted to say something. "spit it out, char." you almost scolded him.
"i-it's just, um, i've n-never done anything like this... before..." he looked down as though it was a shameful thing.
you smiled at his tenderness. "c'mere, love," you quietly uttered before pulling him in between your legs once again. you felt his hard length pressed against your middle but ignored the euphoria to focus on what mattered.
"look at me, char. that does not make me want you any less, it's actually kinda cute. listen, i'll guide you through it, if you wish to continue, that is. if you don't, we can get dressed and leave like nothing happened. what do you want to do, baby?" you reassured him as he stared into your eyes thoughtfully.
"i wanna keep going," he breathed out. "good," you hummed, drawing his lips to yours again. you hopped off of the counter, forcing your lips apart by the sheer height difference between you two.
you pushed him against the bathroom door and lowered yourself onto your knees in front of him. "w-what are you doing?!" he panicked slightly. "i'm gonna take real good care of you, m'kay, love? now, be a good boy for me and relax," you purred, rubbing your hands up and down his thighs.
the pet name turned his stomach and made him slip a small whimper. he unfroze his muscles and relaxed, per your request.
you kept your doe eyes on the flushed boy's face as your pulled his boxers down, making his dick spring out, hitting his stomach.
you tore your eyes from his face and focused your attention on his member.
he was big, huge. his slit crying with precum and veins ran up and down the length of it. your wide eyes softened when you heard a needy whine coming from the man above you.
you decided he's waited long enough, so you ran your tongue along the underside of his cock. the moan/groan he let out, made you smile, and lock eyes with charlie once again.
"fuck, feels good," he said through half-lidded eyes as you began to suck on his angry, red, tip.
"so vulgar. bad boy," you teased with a grin. the sight of you beneath him, on your knees, a smile bigger than the whole sky plastered across your face as his dick leaned against your chin, could've caused him to release a load on your pretty face right there.
but he didn't. he wanted, needed, to be your good, good, boy <3.
"mmm, no. i'm good, i'm so good, only for you. just for you, mommy," the name merely slipped out, he swore, but it caused you to moan whilst his dick was down your throat, causing a very pleasurable vibration around his cock, causing him to involuntarily cum down your throat.
"sh-shit, 'm sorry," he was quick to apologize for cumming so quickly as you pull your jaw off of him. "say that again," you demanded with a scratchy voice, but needier undertones were detected. "w-what, i'm sorry?"
"no, before that,"
"m-mommy?" charlie squeaked.
"fuck."
from the cold tiles biting at the skin of your knees to shimmying off your panties and sitting back down on the counter, you knew you needed him, all of him. right here, right now.
this time, you didn't have to pull him toward you, he naturally gravitated to the comfort of the in-between of your plush thighs. "wanna fuck me? huh?" you asked, grabbing his cock and sliding the tip up and down your folds.
"more than anything, mommy," he whimpered, dreamily. "fuck, baby," you whined as you guided him inside of you.
the stretch was almost impossible. you both moan in synchrony. the tightness of your walls was far better than charlie could've ever imagined when he pumped his fist up and down his length on lonely nights.
"oh my god, momma. i've dreamed and dreamed about this," he whispered in your ear after you gave him the go-ahead to move. his thrusts started out slow and tame but sped up quickly.
the hold he had on your thighs was mighty as he chased his high. "gimme your hand," you managed to speak through the ecstasy. "w-why?" he slowed down, only slightly.
"just- just give it to me," you gasped as his tip pushed against your g-spot. he lifted his left hand and put it in your right.
you shaped it into a 'thumbs up' stance and moved in down onto your clit. "draw circles," you told him. he picked it up quickly and continued fucking you.
your nailed fingers tugged and pulled at his hair, making him into a moaning, whimpering, mess. "shit, fuck! i can't go for much longer. can i please do it inside? please, please, please, mommy?" he begged and you nodded. "i'm on the pill, doll. go ahead, fill me up." you couldn't say no to his beautiful, fucked out, face.
a few more sloppy thrusts into your cunt and soon, he had you loaded. he stared down at his cock going in and out of you, lubed by his sperm, and he could've came again at the sight.
it wasn't too long after that you felt your own earth-shattering release, clinging onto the broad shoulders of the man above you. it rippled through you like an ocean current.
you stayed intertwined with each other for a few more moments, catching your breath, before charlie spoke.
"if my calculations are correct, roman bridgers should be getting revealed as ghostface right now."
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vampiretendencies · 1 year
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shy!fem!reader helping jj shave came to mind today, so here’s this brain rot. it’s all i can manage rn, so i gave this like zero effort. requests are open.
cw; fluff, lower case intended
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he’s gazing down at you like you invented the stars and the night sky. delicately gliding a sharp razor to his shaving cream-clad jawline, tongue poking outwardly past your bottom lip in concentration. he’d stayed firm in the idea that he couldn’t reach a certain spot, but really it was an excuse to be in the position he is now.
sat atop the bathroom counter, his pretty girl encapsulated between his legs, whilst both his hands strum at the small of your back. smoothing over the skin in rhythmic and medolic patterns, all to assure you that what you were doing was fine and that you weren’t going to hurt him.
he trusted you.
“don’t concentrate so hard baby, s’just peach fuzz.”
your cheeks tainted cherry red, knowing full well he was toying and picking fun at you. but still you couldn’t help it, you were timid tenfold in the fact that you’d fuck this up at any given moment, anxious from jj’s fiery touch against your skin. but even still you didn’t respond, overthinking what he just said and letting it consume you.
“only fucking with you, you’re doing prefect, pretty girl.”
you clear your throat, the sentence that left from his lips erupted inside of you rapidly causing many heartfelt butterflies to erupt like clockwork. you lower your hands, dipping the razor under the faucet, on the verge of shaving the remaining bits of facial hair. until he grabs your wrist, stopping you from shaving the spot thus far.
“you don’t have to take me so seriously …” his raspy voice reminded you, chuckling all at once. you awkwardly peered at the floor that peeked through past jj’s thighs. praying a miracle would whisk you away from this seemingly horrid and cumbersome encounter. and still you choose not to answer, the silence was enough to speak for itself. his large hands travel from the small of your back to cup your cheeks. thumbing over your cheek bones, encouraging you to look at him.
and you do, because how could you resist such a lingering, igniting touch.
there was something so sensational and satisfying about eye contact to jj, especially coming from you, someone that was so distantly shy to begin with but he’d made it his own personal agenda to have you fawning after him.
having a reserved appetite for solely him.
eyes meeting eyes, it seems as though he’s going to slump backward into the bathroom mirror at how doll like your features are painted. God, he wanted to squish your cheeks with the palms of his hands. lips pursing outward, forming a pout that is making jj unable to contain himself.
“oh … uh-okay … i won’t j.” his stomach churns longingly at the harmony of your effortlessly orchestrated voice.
“don’t get all shy on me baby.”
you were melting past his fingertips, eyelashes kissing the tops of your cheeks. and he feels like he’s holding his future in his hands, you that is. gentle and fragile with the one who has his heart. a quirk of his mouth, giving you a mischievous grin. his plump lips on your jaw, your neck, smearing the shaving cream all over you, blonde locks tickling as they followed.
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yeonjuns-beanie · 10 months
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Licentious Affairs
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warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected sex, definitely dub-con, a little non-con, use of restraints, having sex with a demon, some animalistic behaviors, descriptions of blood, biting, degrading, hair pulling and i think that's everything
summary: you and dalton grew closer over the course of the fall semester. you sense a mutual feeling but still, a crush feels forbidden. on the night that dalton decides he needs to unlock all his memories for good, something possesses his earthly form and you’re left at its mercy. 
a/n: when i saw the new installment of this franchise, something about him being possessed had me kicking my feet and giggling. this is 100% self indulgent bc I feel like this is so niche lol. it strays from the events in the film(obvi) but I hope whoever comes across enjoys and i'll get back to my kpop postings shortly :3 ~nero
possessed!Dalton Lambert x female reader
word count: 4.4k
pt.2
The breeze was crisp and the trees were warm bouquets of orange, yellow, and sun-bleached green. As you walked across campus, the leaves crunching under your feet you appreciated the change in season. Wrapping yourself a little tighter in your knitted cardigan, you pulled out your phone checking your notifications. Swiping out of your social media a message from Dalton popped up on your screen. 
van gogh: r u out of class yet 
y/n: walking to the dorm rn
van gogh: okay, i’ve got something to show you
Turning the volume up on your music and stuffing your phone back into your stubby front pocket, you continued your walk to the dorm. Your mind was scattering all the different possibilities of what Dalton could’ve found out. Since the beginning of the semester, his art professor had been unleashing techniques on him to tap into a deeper artistic space. Through this theory of unlocking, he opened up memories that were tucked away so tightly that he forgot they were his own. Throughout the semester, you’ve been forced to be around his revelations as you were his dorm mate, but you’d be lying if you said that you didn’t enjoy his company. 
At first, you thought it was just you being good-natured and wanting to extend a hand to him in a time of need. But as his walls crumbled down you wormed your way in and slowly you found you guys becoming quite close. Opening the main doors to your dorm building the way the air felt never failed to bother you. The brick walls made it constantly humid and it was borderline suffocating with how many bodies passed through the day. Dragging your feet across the floor, you began to feel the day place its weight on your body. You felt another vibration in your pocket but ignored it, deciding to look at the notification once you got settled in. 
Opening the door to your room, you were met with Dalton hunched over the canvas of his current piece. He was so focused on the painting that he didn’t hear you come in until the door clicked shut. You dropped your bag on the floor and he finally looked up. 
“Hey. Didn’t hear you come in.” 
“Yeah, you looked pretty focused on that freaky ass painting.” 
“If not for this freaky ass painting, I’d still be “boring.”’
Flopping onto your bed, you chuckled remembering the first interaction you guys had with each other. You so desperately were trying to break the ice with your roommate and least to say it was the smallest bit painful getting some info out of him. As Dalton added the last few strokes of creativity, he put down his brush and wiped his hands off with a rag. Meanwhile, you were getting lost in his every move. You were tracing him, the way he moved, really just the way he existed. Losing yourself in your thoughts you didn’t hear him calling your name. 
“Y/n…y/n? Are you even here right now?” “Huh?- Sorry was spacing out, long day.” 
You were praying that somehow he wouldn’t think too much of it and just pass it off as you disassociating and not internally doting on him. You sat up as he walked over to your bed, the mattress shifting as he sat. 
“So you know how we learned I can astral project right?”
You nodded and raised your eyebrows urging him to go on. 
“Well, I think, whatever I’m remembering–if I finish that painting I’ll remember everything.” 
You looked at him, brows furrowing and your eyes showing an incredulous type of fear. Memories from the last time he projected flooded your mind. Whatever was stalking that other plane had it out not only for Dalton but for anyone in his vicinity. It left you stricken, but subconsciously you knew you couldn’t leave Dalton to deal with it alone. 
“You wanna…go back again?”
“I think it’s my only option y/n.”
You sighed knowing there was really nothing you could do to get him to think otherwise. You stared off toward the cryptic painting searching your brain for a solution that didn’t involve him going back to that other world. Nodding, more towards yourself, you looked back at Dalton. 
“Okay. When are we doing this?”
There was a small flash of a ‘thank you’ that graced his features. The relationship you shared was beyond the parameters of normal but it was exactly that that allowed you guys to grow so close with one another so quickly. He let out a sigh a dour expression taking over. 
“Tonight.” 
You pressed your lips into a thin line forcing yourself to become comfortable with the reality of the situation. Slightly nodding, you stood up grabbing your bag from the floor. 
“Alright. I’ll be right back. Just gonna run and grab some fairy lights so I can have some source of light in here while you play Sherlock Holmes in the upside down.” 
Dalton cracked a smile, a small chuckle escaping him. It was something that softened the heaviness of the situation, lifting the tension not only between you two but for your anxieties. It also made something flutter in your stomach, something you’ve desperately been trying to swallow scared of what would happen if he were to find out. You were about to open the door but a hand on your shoulder stopped you. 
“Your phone.” 
A gentle smile stretched across his face and there was something softer about him in this particular moment. Maybe it was the knowledge of the impending doom that would ensue in a few hours or maybe it was just two people being vulnerable. You weren’t sure what came over you but the urge to hug him was impossible to pass over and your body moved faster than your mind could react. Your arms wrapped around him finding relief and comfort in him returning the gesture so quickly. 
Pulling away from him you found a certain softness swimming in his eyes that you never noticed before. Feeling slightly overwhelmed and bashful you fiddled with your fingertips attempting to wash away the anxiety that was running through you. 
“Thanks. I won’t be too long.” 
Dalton nodded and you slipped out of the doorway. As you walked down the hallway to leave the building you were fighting a more than enthusiastic grin as you felt those same pesky feelings flutter through your being. If only you had a similar gift to Dalton’s you’d be able to see that he was feeling the exact same way. As soon as you left the dorm he sat back on his bed, his hands trying to wipe away the elation he felt from the hug you shared. He was fighting a similar demon as your own, the fabrication of feelings–a crush. 
As he laid back on his bed he was running through all his favorite parts of you, something that he didn’t think he could say out loud. His mind was in too many places at once, going back and forth between the budding feelings he felt for you and the unfortunate calamity that he was going to have to face not long after you came back. 
Coming out of the corner store, you were surprised by how fast the sun began to tuck behind the mountains. You had an interesting relationship with the fall season, loving how the weather changed and the natural warmness that fall carried. By the same token though, you wished daylight lasted a bit longer, especially tonight. You wished the sun would never set so neither one of you would have to experience the ire that attaches itself to Dalton when the night approaches. 
When you got back into the dorm building, there was a formidable sense of dread that you felt settle in your stomach. You tried to brush it off as anxiety now that the navy blanket of night was cast over the sky, but as you approached your dorm the feeling only worsened. Taking a deep breath as you turned the handle of the door, you exhaled as you entered the room, dropping your bag by the door and tossing the bag of lights on your bed. 
You were about to announce your arrival to Dalton but were surprised to find him asleep on his bed. You were gone for maybe half an hour so you didn’t think he’d be too deep in sleep. Admiring his form you quelled your thoughts by grabbing the box of lights out of the grocery bag and began to unravel them while calling out to Dalton. 
“Dalton…Dalton.” 
Plugging the lights in the wall, you called for him one more time before deciding to walk over and shake him up. But when you turned around, he was already sitting up on his bed. It spooked you because you didn’t hear him move.
“Jesus! Make a noise or you know, yawn or something. Scared the shit outta me.” You nervously giggled. That sickly feeling found its way back in your stomach again and you couldn’t quite figure out why. Moving the string of lights around your bed, you found Dalton being more quiet than usual and you ruled that to be the reason why your stomach was turning in knots. 
“You alright man? You’re being more weird than usual.” 
Silence. Crippling silence. 
Chills ran up your body and you tried desperately to feel some sense of normality about the situation. Dalton got up from his bed and walked over to his canvas, running his fingers over the freshly dried paint. He forced some extra air out of his nose somewhat resembling something of a laugh. You kept yourself on high alert as you walked over to your bag to grab your phone. As you got your phone and turned around your eyes met Dalton’s frame huddled in the corner of the room closest to your bed. 
The way the string of lights illuminated him caused that sinking feeling to turn into something more dire. You started to go beyond the safety of things just being “weird” and recognized it was fear settling into your bones. Dalton’s shoulders were quivering almost resembling what a laugh would look like but no noise was coming out. 
“Dalton, what’s going on? You’re freaking me out.”
Ignoring your intuition, you slowly walked over to him, hoping that the lights would let you see something that you were missing from your distance away from him. You left a couple feet in between you two and you called out to him again, only this time he turned his head slowly in your direction. Any rumination of worry about your friend was quickly replaced with terror once his head turned enough for you to see his eyes. They weren’t his own. They were yellow and held malicious intent. 
You wanted to stand your ground but the gasp that left you made a sound before you could stop it. You watched a smirk grow on Dalton’s face and as you broke your chains of frozen fear, you turned around in an attempt to reach the door. Before you could take your second step towards your escape, your feet left the safety of the ground and your body was flung through the air. 
Hitting the art wall adjacent to Dalton’s bed your body flopped onto his bed, a shield of sheets as your protection. In a poor attempt to quickly figure out an escape you instead were met with the evil incarnate of Dalton. Your heart was pounding, fear and a dread of the unknown at the forefront of your mind. His frame was looming, staring you down like fresh prey. You gripped the bed sheets staring him down trying to convince yourself you weren’t fearful. Your plan was successful, but the longer you looked at him the easier it became for something more sinister to eclipse your emotions. 
Lust. 
A salacious intent swapping out the fear of him for the fear of yourself and your own emotions. Why were you feeling this? Could whatever was using Dalton as a vessel hear your thoughts? How could you look at him the same way after this? All of your questions were pushed to the back of your mind as the door to your dorm slowly opened and Dalton turned towards it. You saw nothing in the doorway but almost like a warning, a low timbre shriek echoed from his throat as a bloody goop tumbled out of his mouth. 
Whatever was entering the door from the other side left, the door clicking shut and his attention was unfortunately back on you. With a feeble bid, you hoped that calling to Dalton would release him of whatever had a hold on him. As Dalton turned around to grab the cord of lights from the wall, the way he stalked back over to you sent a familiar feeling to pool in your stomach.
“Dalton…I know you’re in there. Dal-”
“-To be face to face with what was keeping me from him recently was not what I expected to see. Nor did I expect it to be so filthy.” 
It felt like someone was trying to steal your heart from its chest. There was a certain grit to his tone that was not Dalton’s and you weren’t quite sure if it frightened you or excited you. As he wrapped the cord around his hand he stalked closer to you on the bed. 
“Most would be terrified in a situation like this, but you? I can smell you. It’s hard to ignore really.” 
You backed further to the wall suddenly facing the reality of your situation. Your heart sped up but not out of fear. The closer he got the more aroused you became but you didn’t want to admit that to yourself just yet. Before you had an understanding of what was going on in front of you, your wrists were taken and tied to the bedpost with the cord Dalton was winding up. 
“No!” 
A sudden urge to fight back, you weren’t sure if this was something you wanted under the given circumstances. As you tried to push back against the cord, an unseen force was pinning your body to the bed. Your vision was obstructed by the fabric of Dalton’s baggy long sleeve but the overwhelming feeling of arousal was something you couldn’t ignore when he moved to face you and you looked directly into his yellowed eyes. 
His hand snaked down the front of your body leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. It was a twisted feeling, you dreamt of a moment like this but with the given situation you were struggling if it was right. As his hand toyed with the button of your jeans any doubt about the situation was pushed to the back of your mind and a gritty tone echoed in the silence of the room.
“It’s funny. Hearing you think you have enough strength to deny yourself pleasure.” 
You arched your eyebrow confused by his admission. He took heed of this and answered before you had a chance to vocalize your thoughts. He leaned forward stalking over your body before he placed himself next to the shell of your ear. 
“Your thoughts are so loud. Louder than his–if only…he could be the one to see you like this. He’s wished for it.” He pulled away grinning at you in a way that made your walls flutter around nothing. You wondered if the confession of your Dalton “wishing for it” was real or just something the entity used to get under your skin. 
You didn’t have much time to think on the matter as your heart rate picked up again at the unfortunate realization that you, were enjoying this. The smirk that rested on Dalton’s face let you in on the sadistic pleasure of whatever was taking control of him was feeling. Before Dalton moved away from the shell of your ear, he took a deep inhale of the scent of your neck. 
Humming in relish, he nipped at your earlobe gingerly pulling at the skin as he snaked down your body once more. You wish you had more control but the whimper that left your throat was something instinctive. As this primal version of Dalton reached your hips, your zipper was quickly unfastened and your pants were tossed to the other side of the room 
Dalton moved his legs so that he was no longer straddling your own and situated himself in between them. Sliding toward the edge of the bed, he slid down enough to be face first with your messy cunt. Your desire soaking through the fabric leaving no room for doubt in your feelings. Shoving his nose into your drenched panties, he huffed the scent of you a second time causing you to squirm away from the action. 
Closing your eyes and rolling your lips around your teeth, you tried to silence your whines to collect yourself. Once again trying to convince yourself that you had more power over your bodily wants and needs.
“Stop, please.” 
Your plea was met with a sardonic giggle and as you looked down and was met with the sick glow of his yellow eyes. Dalton stalked back up your body, hovering over your face and clicking his tongue at you mockingly. As you were entranced by the figure above you, you failed to realize that he unbound your wrists from the cord. The sudden freedom surprised you but was swallowed by the feeling of his hand slithering in your panties and rubbing his finger across your slick folds. 
Your body shuddered in hedonism, rolling your hips up into the feeling. As one finger slipped its way into your slick cavern your hands found solace in fisting the sheets. As he entered a second finger you couldn’t contain your sounds. 
“Ah~! I can’t believe this is happening. I can’tbelievethisishappening.”
In your stupor of sexual panic, a low chuckle brought you back down to your body. His fingers curled inside of you repeatedly hitting the special spongey spot you cherished so much. As your moans became more frequent and less controlled, he removed his fingers from your pulsating hole and ripped your panties off of your sensitive frame. You whined out not only at the loss of contact but at the sudden cool air that breezed over your skin. Settling into your body you were panting heavily as you stared down Dalton. 
His yellowed eyes still igniting fear but simultaneously leaving you wanton and in a state of ache. That conflicting feeling flooded your brain again and soon felt guilt peering over the horizon. Before you were given the chance to wrestle with your thoughts, Dalton straddled himself over your body. One hand grabbed your face, squeezing your cheeks to pry your mouth open just enough to shove his fingers into your mouth. He looked down at you, a small smirk adorning his face.
“Suck.”
Overwhelmed by the sudden roughness you complied immediately not wanting to make the situation even more escalated. Your eyebrows furrow, your face plagued with anxiety as you watch Dalton come closer to your face. The leftover stain of blood that was on his chin smeared across your lower cheek as his breath fanned over your skin leaving your body wanting more. As he removed his fingers from your mouth, he licks from your chip up to the tip of your nose. Dalton pulls away slightly so he can get a better look at your face as a venomous smile pulls at his. 
He takes the hand that was holding your face and drags it down the side of your cheek as he exhales a phrase that would chill your bones. 
“Everything I’m going to do to you…he wishes he could do himself.” 
The anxiety you felt prior was beginning to trickle back in as you realized the tank top you were wearing underneath the cardigan provided you little safety from the one above. Dalton’s hands slid up your torso underneath your tank top, his hands massaging over the soft flesh of your breast. Undoing the front clasp, your tits pancaked out of the fabric only for one to be caught by Dalton’s rough hand and the other encased by his lips.
You tried to keep a coherent thought, to push back against him but you lacked the mental will due to the rapture spidering through your body. As his mouth left your nipple, the cold air sent shivers through your chest and rippled down your back as his lips savagely placed open mouth kisses along your jawline, nipping at your skin with each release. 
Caught up in the feeling you almost blocked out the sound of his belt becoming undone. But as soon as you were aware, the time to react had come to pass. His cock, hard and heavy was pulled out from the layers of fabric and you felt it tap against your inner thigh. You were suddenly hyperaware of how exposed you were and the understanding of what was about to happen next rushed through you. 
“W-wait! I don’t, I can’t I~ah! Fuck!”
Before you had the chance to form a coherent thought, his cock entered your seraphic walls and his teeth bit at the skin on your neck. A mark that would surely leave a stain in the aftermath. Having already been overstimulated by the situation itself, the stretch of his cock was horrifically sinful. You couldn’t help the fluttering of your walls as he rocked his length in and out of you at a harrowing pace. 
As he finally let go of your neck he huffed out in the intersection of your neck and shoulder. His exhales made your skin humid and left you with another layer of unwanted pleasure. Trying to bring yourself back down to your body, your hand released the binding grip it had on the bedsheets and sought refuge in Dalton’s sweatshirt, something proving to be a mistake. 
A low growl erupted from Dalton’s throat and before you could register what was happening, he had pulled himself out of you and manhandled you to get on your hands and knees. 
“What made you think that you could touch me, hmm?” 
Like a viper his hand webbed itself in your hair, gripping it at the base and pulling your body up. Adrenaline pumping, you were searching for a viable response but came up with nothing but babbles. 
“I-I don’t, I don’t know. I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” 
He controlled the movements of your head, forcing you to crane your neck and stare at him in his amber orbs one last time. Mocking your apology, he cooed at you. 
“Aww, you’re sorry? Why don’t you show me how sorry you are?”
Punctuating his statement by rushing his cock back into your ruined cunt, you cried out at the feeling. He shoved your face back into the bed, his pace now unrelenting and no longer a derivative of pleasure but rather of power. With every thrust you felt the tip of his cock assault your cervix, causing tears to well up in your eyes and dry into the sheets beneath you. It was overwhelming, feeling like all decision was stolen from you.
The only thing that filled the room now were the occasional groans from the figure above you and muffled sobs from yourself. You hated that you could feel the approaching feelings of ecstasy building in your lower stomach. The heat was building and the suffocating squeezes from your gummy walls around his cock were more than enough to alert him to your demise. 
“You gonna cum around me, you filthy slut? Enjoyed every second of this didn’t you?”
The guilt you were warding off finally made its way to the forefront of your emotions but you couldn’t find it within yourself to admit that you did, in fact, enjoy all of this. You settled for denial. Denial would save you from the inevitable self reflection you’d have to face. 
“No, no no I didn’t! I didn’t enjoy it. I didn-!” 
Your body cut you off, your orgasm washing over you reluctantly but comedically in timing. As your body shuddered around him, you heard that same derisive chuckle leave his throat mocking you yet again.
“Keep telling yourself th~aht.”
He pulled himself out of you, spraying his seed across the exposed portion of your back. The warmth felt overt, wicked, and it was something you didn’t want on you. You didn’t have the gall to face the being behind you. Instead, you let your body fall limp against the bed as the being fronting as Dalton stood up and fixed himself back into his clothes. From behind you heard him. 
“Say hi to him for me.”
Not expecting a response from you, he left Dalton’s body. His earthly form collapsing on your dorm floor. You didn’t have the strength to turn and help him up as he came to, too busy wrestling with your emotions as tears pooled out of your eyes. You heard your Dalton groan and stand up reaching to turn on the lamp light on his art desk. As the warm light illuminated the room, he turned around silence and shock devastating him as he took in the sight of you. 
You tried to quell your sobs, but your body kept shaking them out. Dalton slowly walked over to you trying to survey your body without touching you. When his eyes landed on the alabaster stains that painted your lower back a terrifying realization overcame him. 
“Y/n…? Y/n, talk to me.” 
The gentle tone was something you missed dearly despite only being gone for such a short amount of time. It comforted you knowing that the worst was over for at least right now. Dalton kneeled on the floor resting his upper body on the side of the bed. You turned your head slowly, still somewhat expecting to meet those hideous yellow eyes but when you saw the gentle and disconcerted brown pupils you were swamped with relief. Tears still were falling across your face, their frequency diminishing. 
You gave him a weak smile, a small “hey” leaving your lips. Like cracked porcelain, he wouldn’t dare touch you. He couldn’t break you more than he already had. His tone weak and regretful, he scanned over your fragile body trying to understand how this happened. He let his head fall next to yours, burying his head in sheets. 
“What did I do to you?”
899 notes · View notes
reyalvr · 1 year
Text
IN THE MIDST OF IT ALL | 2
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୨⎯ in which a reef boy proves himself worthy of a forest girl’s attention. ⎯୧
genre┊ slight slowburn, angst, & e2l, idiots-to-lovers, fluff, two-shot 
pairing┊ao’nung x fem-sully!reader
wordcount┊7.9k
warnings┊ movie spoilers
author’s note┊ thank you so, so, SO much for all of the kind words and encouragement for part 1, my heart feels so happy T^T. i hope you guys like this part as much as the other! i might even make a part 3 but rn my plans for that is to just make it into an extra drabble or a bonus chap (¬‿¬) happy reading!
song recs┊ void, heart to heart, happiness is simple.
《✧》, 《✧✧》
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They say starting anew can be done at any given moment. What they don’t tell you is how excruciatingly slow the actual process is. Starting over was never going to be an easy feat, that you were well aware of. But that didn’t necessarily mean that you were used to it. You stared at the Metkayinan boy in front of you, who was practicing the Omatikayan way of shooting an arrow. 
“Stronger, Ao’nung.” You adjusted his arms, straightening them out until the bow was aimed properly. 
He tried again, this time positioning it slightly better. “What is the point of this again?” His tone wasn’t angry, per say, just slightly exhausted. 
“If you truly wish to understand me, you must know how I do things. That includes my skills.” Your reply was curt, your attention only focused on how badly he was holding your bow. You hissed under your breath, moving towards him to adjust his stance once again. 
You heard his breath hitch as your hand came up to his back, pushing his shoulders down. He had tried to cover it up with a cough, but you had already caught it. You peeked at him from the side, your brow slightly raised in concern. 
“Did that hurt?” You asked, removing your hands instantly. 
“No,” He quickly replied, followed by a swallow. “Just- tired. That is all.” 
You shrugged, carrying on with your needed adjustments. Weird, you thought. You moved to guide his hands towards the makeshift target you had painted. Once you made sure that he was locked on it, you paused to take note of his stance. You skimmed over his figure, making sure that he was properly distributing his weight throughout his entire body. 
“Better.” You said as you stepped away from him. “Let go when you are ready.” 
He took a deep breath in, fixating his eyes on the target. He shot the arrow as soon as he breathed out, hoping – praying that it would hit the stupid dot this time. You guys had been here for nearly an hour already, and not once had he been successful. He kept his eyes closed the entire time, stupid, he knew, but he found that he worked better if he couldn’t see you. 
You didn’t speak for a few moments, and he was dreading opening his eyes. But the feeling of dread was washed away as soon as he heard the faintest hint of your laughter. He opened his eyes to see that he had hit the target, not directly at the center but close enough to garner your impressed reaction. 
“See,” You said as you made your way towards the arrow. “It’s very simple.” 
Though your tone meant to be criticizing, the small grin beginning to form on your lips said otherwise. Ao’nung watched as you pulled the arrow out of the trunk with ease, admiring how precisely you were able to do so without damaging the tree itself. You faced him unexpectedly, saying something along the lines of ‘are you hungry’ or ‘what time is it’, he wasn’t exactly sure. 
In all honesty, he didn’t hear you. He had been too focused on you to pay attention to anything, really. Only when you were finally in front of him did he snap out of his haze. He would be a goner if he asked you to repeat yourself, so he settled with a simple “Hm?” 
“I said you look hungry.” You said once more with the same tilt of your head every time you questioned him. “Are you?”
“I am fine,” He said as he handed you your bow. “Although, I am thirsty.”
“Water boy is parched, who would’ve guessed?” You teased, quickly taking the bow from his hands. 
Your next movements were a complete blur to him as he watched you (again) climb swiftly up one of the trees, bow strapped to your back. He had that bow in hands only a minute ago, and though it wasn’t super heavy, it wasn’t exactly light either. To see you not only climb so easily after today’s training but to also have something weighted strapped against you while doing so was, without a doubt, impressive. 
“Stop standing there and get over here!” You shouted at him, signaling for him to stand under one of the branches of the tree. “Keep your hands out, do not drop this.” 
He ran quickly, looking up at you to make sure he was at the right spot. You nodded, and drew your bow back as you aimed for one of the hanging clusters of fruit. Using the same techniques that you were teaching him, you took a deep breath in and focused. Archery had always been one of your strong suits, and you proved so by cleanly shooting through the stem, the fruit falling intact into Ao’nung’s arms. 
When you were back safely on the ground, you gestured for him to follow you back onto the ledge. The eclipse had just set, the warm sky slowly fading into darkness. You sat down, your feet hanging over the cliff. Ao’nung did the same, though he sat slightly behind you. Your turned, arm outstretched for the fruit. He handed it to you, and you split it into two with your knife. 
“Here,” You said, giving him the bigger half. “You’ve earned it.” 
He smiled slightly as he took the fruit, appreciating your kindness. Or tolerance. He couldn’t tell, but at least you weren’t actively trying to kill him. He took a bite, savoring the sweet juice that was stored inside it. It was silent between the two of you as you continued to eat, both of you lost in your own thoughts. 
A fortnight had passed since your guys’ first meeting, and surprisingly things had been going smoothly. Ao’nung had kept his promise, meeting you here before or after eclipse. He was diligent in his learning; watching carefully as you taught him your people’s culture, keeping up with your speed and agility, eagerly waiting approval from you after doing something correctly. 
Life in the village had gotten easier, too. Nobody knew of your guys’ excursions, but it wasn’t like you were trying to hide it. No one asked, so you said nothing. During the afternoons you all would sit together by the reef, exchanging stories and jokes after a long day’s worth of training. Your siblings had started to feel better too — most especially Lo’ak. 
He and Ao’nung had started to get along, and it lifted a weight off of your shoulders. You guys were finally starting to be one with the Metkayina, and you couldn’t be anymore grateful to the Great Mother. You had prayed a long time for this to happen, and she finally heard your prayer. 
You finished your half of the fruit and turned your head slightly to look at Ao’nung. You saw that he had already finished his half a while ago, so you wondered why he remained silent. Usually he was chattering away, talking non-stop by the end of every session with you. He looked at you then, his eyes widening slightly to acknowledge you. 
“You are very quiet today, reef boy.” You said, now fully facing him. You sat crossed-legged, mirroring his pose.
“Maybe I am just tired, forest girl.” He replied, smiling softly as he did so. 
Your heart skipped a beat every time he called you that, and you couldn’t understand why. Rotxo and Tsireya had called you the same endearment, but they never made you feel like this. You shook it off as exhaustion taking over your body. Without another word, you got up and started packing your things for the day. 
Ao’nung remained in his place, keeping his gaze on you. He too, wondered why he was all of a sudden so enamored with you. He instantly turned away from you, shaking his head slightly in the process. Enamored was too strong of a word to associate with you. He did not see you that way – did he? No, he couldn’t. 
He supposed that he was just fascinated by you. Yeah, fascinated. Fascinated by your ways, fascinated by your skills… fascinated in you?
Ignoring whatever else his mind would conjure up in this silence, he moved to help you pick up the arrows scattered all over the ground. He cringed at the memory of his failed attempts from earlier. He knew now what this sort of embarrassment felt like – the very feeling that he made you feel. Eywa, he felt miserable. 
Truly in his heart did he not understand how you could continue to look at someone like him, let alone speak to someone like him. But here you were, abiding by his request, or rather, plea for forgiveness. He handed you whatever arrows he had collected, avoiding your eyes. He could not handle eye-contact with you at this moment. 
“Oh, thank you.” You said in surprise. He only smiled and nodded in response.
“Well I have to get back,” You said, adjusting the straps of your quiver. “Tomorrow again?”
“Of course,” He said, his hand gesturing for you to head down first. “See you.”
You smiled slightly before making your way down. On the pathway home, you kept your focus on the stars of the night sky. Today was unusually odd between you and Ao’nung. Not that it wasn’t already odd between you and him before, but today just felt different. You squinted your eyes as you continued to entertain your thoughts, each one making you even more confused than before.
May Eywa give you a sign of stability and strength soon, or you might just lose your mind.
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You sat quietly inside your marui pod, helping your mother chop the vegetables harvested earlier today. You needed this, needed to focus on something other than training and him. Your mother, though initially surprised, happily agreed to letting you help her. 
You saw from the window that your siblings and friends were sat together at the usual spot, talking intently with one another. You smiled, happy that all of you were now comfortable enough to be in each other’s presence. You saw Kiri smile widely after something Lo’ak had said, and you presumed that it was most likely another stupid joke of his. 
Then you saw Ao’nung speak up, moving away from his leaning position against the tree. He spoke with your brother, and he had the exact same look when he would be explaining things to you guys. You furrowed your brows in confusion as the other Metkayinan kids started to speak up against Lo’ak as well. What was going on? 
“Ma’ite,” Your mother said, suddenly pulling you out of whatever fixation you had. “You can go to them if you want to.” 
You hadn’t realized how focused you’d been, finally noticing the way your ears had perked up as if you were trying to listen in on the conversation.
“It is fine, mama. I just got distracted.” You said as you continued chopping whatever was left on the cutting board. “I’d just like to be away for a while, is all.” 
Your mother paused whatever she was doing and moved to sit closer to you, her attention now solely focused on your feelings. “What is wrong?” 
You shook your head to assure her that nothing was wrong. Nothing was wrong, but you felt weird ever since that night with Ao’nung. The last few sessions with him were short and simple, and the overall atmosphere between the two of you was just so drastically different. 
“Mama,” You put the knife down and faced your mom. “When you met dad, you didn’t like him right?”
She smirked slightly, surprised that you were asking this out of the blue. “Yes,” She replied. “I didn’t like him – in fact, I tried to kill him.” 
“So why the change of heart?” You asked.
She paused for a moment, her eyes looking deeply into yours. The story of your parents was one that you always enjoyed as a kid, and sometimes you still did. They were legends among the Omatikaya, their story living on forever as they solidified their place in the clan. Fierce warriors with an even fiercer love story. Your mother held your hands, placing them onto her lap. 
“Your father was a skxawng, a big one at that. He was arrogant, too human for his own good.” She paused to laugh, seemingly reminiscing her first encounters with your father. “But he learned the truth of our home, our land. He saw me, saw everything. I didn’t fall in love with him simply because I changed my mind – I fell in love with him because he proved himself to me, ma’ite.” 
Proved himself to her. You sat there, taking in her words. Proved himself to her. Your dad had put aside his differences and learned her ways, her skills. It sounded all too familiar, and your heart sped up as you tried to separate each of your thoughts. 
“But didn’t you hate him for what he did?” You asked, trying to calm your jitters in the process. 
“Of course I did, what he did was unacceptable. When he realized that what he was doing was wrong it was too late. Of course I hated him.” She brought her hand up to tuck one of your loose strands away. “But you cannot fully hate someone, just like you cannot fully love anyone either. They balance each other out. Without the balance it wouldn’t be love, nor would it be hate.” 
You swallowed hard. Her words had gone directly into your heart, each of her explanations getting closer and closer to what you had started feeling for Ao’nung. Even thinking that sounded crazy, you and him were the last two people anyone would ever pair together. 
You hated him, didn’t you? Yes, you hated everything about him; his mischief, his arrogance, his infuriatingly bright grin. You nearly slapped yourself with the last thought.
Eywa, you have officially lost your goddamn mind. You quickly excused yourself from your mother, reassuring her when you stood up so suddenly. You nearly ran into your dad as well, muttering a quick apology to him as you made your way past him. He called after you to ask if you were okay, but you continued on, waving a dismissive hand.
“Is she alright?” Jake asked, approaching Neytiri with the slightest look of concern on his face. 
“Yes,” She breathed out, handing him a basket of wrapped meals that needed to be placed atop the fire. “Put these there please.” He didn’t complain, only complying with her request. She sighed as Jake had made himself comfortable next to her, leaning against him for support. 
“She asked about us,” She said as she continued to fan the flames. “Asked about how I first met you.”
He hummed in response, intrigued by your sudden interest. “What’d you tell her?”
“That I tried to kill you. And that I hated you.” Neytiri replied, her expression remaining nonchalant. “When I told her everything, she looked like she was remembering something similar to herself.”
“Okay well, ignoring the first part,” He said through his small chuckle. “Maybe she’s just going through something. It’s normal at this age.”
Neytiri only nodded. Normal, yes. But to you? Not so. She said a silent prayer to Eywa, praying that you would get whatever it was you were going through sorted out. 
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Eclipse had already set, yet you were nowhere near your getaway. You were at the opposite end of it, actually, sitting alone at the empty beach. You couldn’t remember how you had gotten here, hell you couldn’t even remember how long you’d been here. You knew that you would need to get back home soon, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to move just yet.
You felt terrible, Ao’nung had probably been waiting for you to meet him hours ago. But you couldn’t face him like this – you couldn’t risk doing something stupid. 
You continued to look at the sea, resting your head comfortably atop your knees. You felt the same way you did the morning of your agreement with him, alone in your peace. It wasn’t as relaxing though, since your head continued to spin the harder you tried to think of anything other than him. 
It wasn’t like you would be able to avoid him forever either- he was everywhere. Not to mention the chief’s son as well. You were bound to bump into him sooner or later, but right now you were thankful for the solace in being alone. 
You hated this feeling; not knowing what to do. Most of the time you were able to think of a solution to your problems, but right now you had nothing. With your mind too clouded to even think of a cohesive plan, you settled for not thinking of anything at all. You willed away any lingering thoughts, only focusing on the low tide.
From the distance, though, you swore you could see somebody on an ilu. At this hour? The fishermen would have already packed up for the day, so seeing somebody out on the water didn’t make sense. You squinted, your eyes further adjusting to the darkness. They were slowly making their way back to shore, and you soon realized who it was. You don’t remember the last time you had moved so hastily, almost tripping over your own tail while doing so.
What was he doing out here? Why was he out here? You ran to hide to the closest place with coverage, which happened to be one of the rock formations nearer to shore. Great thinking, [Y/N]. You thought sarcastically. 
You kept quiet as you peeked above the rocks, watching as Ao’nung made his way to where you were sitting only a moment ago. What the hell were you even doing? Nothing was happening between you two, nothing. So why, in Eywa’s name, was your heart beating so fast? Why did you run and hide? You saw that he was carrying a speargun, as well as a sack of what you presumed was fish. 
What else would it be? Of course it was fish. You argued against yourself. Who goes out into the sea with a speargun to catch anything but fish? 
Your imaginary fight with yourself ended as soon as it started though, as Ao’nung had faced towards your direction. You quickly dove back behind the rocks, but your efforts for staying quiet were wasted as you had accidentally cut your arm on one of the jagged edges of the rock. You held your hand over your mouth, preventing yourself from making any more noise. 
You hoped that he didn’t hear you. You’d have no explanation for yourself, and your mind was too preoccupied to think of a believable excuse. Not to mention the growing pain in your arm. Though the cut wasn’t deep, it still stung as it continued to remain unprotected. Blood had also started to drip down onto the sand. If you left now you would definitely leave a trail behind. 
“Who’s there?” Ao’nung suddenly called out, his voice sounding extremely intimidating. 
Shit. Not good, so not good. You took a deep breath, calming yourself. Being senseless would not help your situation. You decided to stay hidden, not coming out until you were sure he was gone. You listened carefully as his footsteps got closer to your spot, and you prayed and prayed that he wouldn’t see you. 
Your prayers were too late, however, as you made eye-contact with Ao’nung. He peered over you, the defensive look on his face dropping as soon as he realized it was you. You felt a sense of deja vu; you were in this situation before, only now the roles were reversed. 
“Hi, you.” You said, breaking the awkward silence. You winced, momentarily forgetting about your arm. 
His eyes widened as he finally noticed your injury, and he quickly jumped over the rocks to access your arm. He gently grabbed it, not waiting for you to protest against his help. 
“I have so many questions,” He said as he continued to examine you. “But they can wait. Come, we need to get you treated.” 
You opened your mouth to say something, but he dismissed whatever it was with a look. You sighed in defeat, slowly getting up to follow him. So much for avoiding him. You bent to pick up the speargun he dropped in his haste to make it over to you, but he quickly snatched that away from you too. 
“Do not exert yourself, you are bleeding for Eywa’s sake.” He said, his words laced in growing concern. “Come.”
You swallowed back any argument and nodded your head. He guided you in front of him, making sure that you were okay to walk without any support. Again it was silent between you two, no bickering, no sly comments. Just silence. It made you feel uneasy, like something was out of balance. 
Your mothers words rang in your head. Without the balance it wouldn’t be love, nor would it be hate.
It annoyed you, really, these thoughts coming and going with the worst timing. It felt like there were two people in your mind; one rational and one irrational. The rational half of you wanted to tell Ao’nung that all was forgiven, that you didn’t need to continue meeting up anymore and that he definitely didn’t need to take you for treatment. 
But the irrational half, oh Eywa, the irrational half fought to look for excuses to remain in his presence. 
You guys had reached the village now, and he placed his hand on your lower back to guide you into the medical pod. You stopped yourself from jolting at the feeling of his touch. It had no lingering meaning, he only wanted to make sure you were going the right way. You were sure of it.
“Sit.” He said, dropping his things by the entrance. 
You did as you were told, enjoying the comfort of the plush mat. You watched as he rummaged through the medicinal baskets, going through different jars until he found what he needed. It only hit you then that he wanted to treat you. Not any of the other healers, not even his own mother. He intended to do it himself.
“You know how to treat wounds?” You asked, trying not to sound so shocked. You failed. 
He chuckled slightly at your surprise. “Of course I know how to treat wounds. My mother is Tsahik, she would have me used as akula bait if I refused her lessons.”
You let out a small laugh at his response. High and mighty Ao’nung, scared of his mother’s wrath. Not hard to picture though. Your past sessions had allowed you to see another side of Ao’nung that you couldn’t believe existed. Just like now, his smug hunter demeanor nowhere to be seen. 
He approached you, sitting in front of you with all of his treatment materials. He held your arm close to him, leaning down to get a closer look as cleaned the dry blood. He was gentle with his movements, careful to make sure that he didn’t hit the sensitive parts of your wound. 
“So, are you gonna tell me how you got this?” He asked, still not taking his eyes off your wound. 
You bit your bottom lip nervously, not wanting to tell him that you were trying to avoid people – avoid him. He looked up at you briefly, waiting for your response. 
“Um,” You finally breathed out. “Well I was just at the beach. You know, resting.” 
He hummed in response, his attention back on your injury. He was done cleaning it, and now he moved to reach for the paste he had made a few moments ago. The paste smelled fresh, much like the old concoctions that Kiri and your grandmother used to make back home. 
It really was shocking to you that Ao’nung knew how to do this. He seemed like the type of person to only be focused on his duties, especially because of his rank. But then again you were wrong about a lot of things, so there was that. 
You coughed, stopping yourself from drifting into your thoughts. “I didn’t notice how much time had passed until I realized it was eclipse.” You looked down, not wanting to look at him in fear of him seeing right through you. 
“And then I saw you coming and I freaked, I didn’t know what to do. So I hid, and I cut myself trying to stay away.” You motioned at your wound, and he only nodded. Shit.
“Everything slipped my mind today.” You admitted begrudgingly. “Ao’nung I am so sorry, I forgot about our meeting.” 
“You do not need to apologize, [Y/N]. I understand.” He continued applying the healing remedy onto your wound, but you could see that his expression changed. “Admittedly, I was worried. I waited until eclipse but you still hadn’t come.” 
The feeling of shame- no, regret crept up on you once again. Now you really felt terrible. You had assumed that he felt bad, but now hearing him say it himself felt like a giant wave of terrible feelings crashing into you. Your ears perked down, your shoulders going limp. 
“I figured you were probably somewhere else, doing your own thing.” He said, finishing up the treatment for your arm. “So I left for the day, did my own thing as well. Gave me time to be by myself as well.” He wrapped your arm securely, and once he was sure that the wrappings wouldn’t budge he let go of your. You suddenly felt cold, the warmth of his healing hands leaving you. 
“Thank you,” You held your arm close to you. “You didn’t have to do that. I appreciate it. A lot.” You rambled. 
He leaned back, arms outstretched behind him. “You’re welcome.” He said through his smile. 
The moonlight was bright tonight, the radiance of it seeping in through the openings of the marui. Ao’nung was sat directly in front of the entrance, and he was basked in the night’s comforting glow. He was breathtaking like this, his features sharpened by the shadows. Your heart sped up once again, and you quickly got up before you could think of anything else. 
“Thank you, again.” You repeated yourself, slowly making your way out of the pod. “Tomorrow, then?” 
He nodded. “Of course.” 
You were just about to leave when he called out for you once more. You held onto one of the posts, peeking back inside to hear what he had to say. He got up then, standing closer to you. Your cheeks tingled, heating up as he looked down at you. He leaned against the same post you were on, though his arm was placed further up. 
“The funny thing about today was that even though I was alone, free to do whatever I want,” He paused, turning his head slightly to face away from you. “I still kept on thinking of you.” 
You were taken aback by his confession. He was thinking about you? Your lips parted, not knowing what else to say to him. Actually, you weren’t going to say anything else to him. Not now at least, not when your heart felt like it was about to explode. 
You let go of your hold on the post, finally creating some distance between the two of you. “Good night, reef boy.” Was all you said, your tone light and smooth. Thank Eywa you didn’t stutter. 
Ao’nung turned to face you now, a small smile beginning to form on his lips. You could tell that he hadn’t expected this reaction from you, but still he kept smiling. 
“Good night, forest girl.” He finally said. “See you tomorrow.” 
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Unlike most mornings, you were the last one to wake up. Your arm was slightly sore, a reminder of the ongoings from last night. You were lucky to get home while everyone was still awake, avoiding the definite scolding you would have gotten had you gone home any later. 
When they asked about your arm and who treated it, you came up with an excuse that even Kiri seemed to believe. You sat outside your family’s pod, your feet dipped into the cool waters of Awa’atlu. You had finished your training earlier than usual despite being late, and you took the well deserved break that you needed. 
From your position, you were able to see your siblings in the water. The only one missing was Tuk, who was still inside playing with her toys. She had a different style of training, one less rigorous because of her age. She wasn’t allowed to go out into the water on her own yet, she always needed to be accompanied by someone. 
Tsireya was her guide, and she would be here soon to fetch Tuk for her ilu session. You made your way back inside, patting your younger sister on the head. She smiled up at you, her eyes so full of wonder. Sometimes you wished you were her age again, oblivious to the real world. You wouldn’t have to worry about your heart or your mind; only focusing on living in the moment.
“Hey,” Ao’nung’s voice suddenly filling the empty air. “Is Tuk ready?” 
You and your sister both jumped at his sudden arrival, and you were confused as to why it was him that was here for Tuk. You looked past him to see if Tsireya was beside him, but again, to your surprise, she wasn’t there.
“Hey,” You drawled out. “You teaching her today?”
“Yeah,” He said awkwardly, obviously nervous. “Tsireya had to help my mother with something, so she couldn’t be here today.” 
You nodded slowly, waiting for Tuk to respond. Ao’nung switched between looking at you and looking at the small girl, gauging either of your guys’ reactions. 
“If you don’t feel comfortable it’s fine,” He quickly added. “We can cancel for the day, it’s really no problem.” 
Your sister had a quizzical look plastered onto her face as she stared at him, as if she were trying to figure something out in that brilliant brain of hers. She looked up at you with the same look, analyzing you the same way she had just done for Ao’nung. 
“Tsmuke, what do you think?” You broke the silence. 
She waited a few moments before replying, still keeping that same look on her face. 
“Sure, I don’t mind.” She finally said, her face morphing back to her happy-go-lucky self. But before you could wish them well, she grabbed your hand and pulled you with her. “But I want you to go, too.”
You looked up at Ao’nung, searching his face for any disapproval. There wasn’t any. How could he be so calm after last night, so composed? You had promised you were going to meet with him again later today, but you weren’t even sure if you’d be able to keep that promise. 
You nodded slowly, though you were still reluctant to tag along. “Of course.” You smiled at her, squeezing her hand. 
Tuk laughed happily and breezed past the two of you, getting a headstart to the beach. You shouted at her to slow down, and you heard Ao’nung quietly laugh at you. You spun to face him, giving him a puzzled look. He waved you off, still grinning as you guys made your way to where Tuk was at.
“What?” You asked, eyebrows slightly furrowed.
“Nothing, it’s just,” He paused to offer you the lead as you guys walked. “You scold her like you do me.” 
You faced away from him almost instantly, preventing him from seeing the purplish tint on your cheeks. What the hell was going on with you? Everything he did started taking effect on you, your old composure with him non-existent as the days continued. 
“I am not scolding her. She’s my sister, it's a basic sibling concern.” You said, not looking back at him. “It’s different with you.” 
“Oh?” His voice laced in sudden interest. “Different how?”
You were glad he was behind you because if he wasn’t, there was no way you would have been able to form a cohesive sentence. 
“Well for one, she is a child. It’s inevitable for her to make some childish mistake.” You said. “You, on the other hand, you are just a skxawng.”
He sped up his pace to walk beside you now, and you could hear him continue to laugh. If you had said this to him two weeks ago, you would have been met with snide remarks and sneers from him and his friends. Now it felt different, though you couldn't exactly explain how. All you knew was that you were comfortable enough in each other’s presence and could bicker with each other without having to feel like complete shit. 
“You guys, come on!” Tuk yelled, instantly pulling you both back into focus. 
You caught his glance at you, and you finally laughed with him as you hurried to catch up with your sister. 
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You watched carefully as Ao’nung guided Tuk on one of the ilus. He was unexpectedly patient with her, gentle with his words each time she had to go again. It was a stark contrast to your lessons with him – you hadn’t forgotten how he made you feel, nor had he. You supposed that this was another way for him to atone for his wrongdoings; starting anew not only with you but with your siblings as well. 
“Good, Tuk.” He praised, this time no longer holding her. “Be steady, focus on the bond.” 
Your sister giggled as she started circling around on her own. She waved at you from afar, and you smiled at her as acknowledgement of her achievement. She willed the ilu to swim closer to you, splashing you lightly in the process. 
“[Y/N] look! I’m doing it!” She cheered. 
“Yes, I see that tskxevi.” You said as you wiped your face. “Keep it up.” 
She laughed as she swam away to one of the marker points, carefully navigating through the floating ropes. While she was busy enjoying herself, Ao’nung came and stood next to you as he waited for her to finish the obstacle courses. You moved a step forward, your body automatically creating distance between the two of you. If Ao’nung noticed, he didn’t mention it as he continued to focus on your sister’s movements. 
“She’s a quick learner,” He said, nudging your shoulder. “Too bad she doesn’t take after you.” 
You scoffed, though it wasn’t out of annoyance. You turned to face him, trying to stop yourself from smiling after smacking him lightly on the head. All he did was smile in return, hands up in feigned defense. 
“She doesn’t learn much from you either though, does she?” You teased back, arms crossed. “This is all Tsireya’s work, you were just lucky that she finally mastered her skills today.”
He was about to say something when his smile dropped. You looked at him, confused and maybe even a little scared at what could have changed his expression so quickly. 
“Watch out!” Was all he had managed to get out before you were suddenly pushed by a strong force, nearly toppling over him. He tried to move you out of the way, though it was too late as both of you came crashing down into the shallow waters. 
You heard Tuk’s voice shout a quick ‘sorry!’ before she turned away again, riding steadily once more as she took control of her ilu. You groaned, holding your head. You tried to look down, still blinking away the blurriness from the water in your eyes. Once you had finally regained your vision though, your body immediately tensed. 
Though you weren’t fully on top of him, one of your arms was draped over his chest, causing him to be trapped underneath you. His hands rested at your waist, his grip still tight as he held you close to him in fear of dropping you. 
Neither of you said anything, eyes wide as you both remained unmoving. From this angle, you were so close to him; close enough to notice the white bioluminescent freckles that were scattered across his face. Close enough to notice the long lashes that curled perfectly against his sea-green eyes. Close enough to feel his heartbeat, which sped up the longer you continued to stay in this position.
He coughed, breaking you out of whatever trance you were in. “You alright?”
You hurriedly moved your arm away from him, slipping out of his grasp. You sat next to him now, pushing the damp strands of your hair away. 
“Mhm,” you hummed out, avoiding any eye-contact with him. “What about you?”
“Fine.” He breathed out. “I, uh, think that’s enough for today.” 
He got up almost instantly, water cascading down his back. You closed your eyes, finally regulating your breath. You were still processing what had happened – not even sure if it even happened, but your warm cheeks and beating heart said otherwise. 
You stood up, shaking yourself. Composure, damnit. Tuk and Ao’nung made their way towards you now, her little hand clasped around his. You put on a quick smile for her, outstretching your arms to bring her closer to you. She wrapped her arms around your thigh, looking up at you again with those wondrous eyes of hers. 
“Thanks,” You said to Ao’nung, slightly stuttering. “For, uh, today.”
“It is no problem.” He said almost shyly. “Tonight?”
Right. Tonight, you almost forgot. “Yes, see you then.”
You lead Tuk out of the water, walking her back to the marui. On the way back home, you could hear her giggle quietly. Though she was a curious child, it was odd seeing her laugh at nothing. 
“What is it, tsmuke?” You asked, hand stroking her hair. 
“You like that boy, don’t you?” She said through her mischievous grin. 
You nearly choked on your spit, and you quickly rushed her up the bridge. You stooped down to her level once you were outside your family’s pod, both your hands resting on her shoulder. 
“Why do you say so?” You asked, half in curiosity and half in defense. 
She shrugged. “I can just tell. You two act like mom and dad.” 
She remained nonchalant as she walked into the pod, sitting down to play with her toys as if she hadn’t just said what she said. Your mouth was agape as you sat outside, processing her words. You quickly went after her, settling yourself beside her. You tried questioning her further but she only shook you off, too focused on her wooden figurines. 
Eywa give me the strength, you thought to yourself.
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It was well past eclipse now, and your feet dangled over the tree’s wide branch as you waited for Ao’nung to meet you up here. You had caught him earlier at the docks, and you told him to meet you at the ikran’s resting tree instead of on the cliff. 
After Tuk’s training session, you had time to think about everything you had been feeling for the past weeks. You didn’t want to admit it, really you didn’t, but your sister had made you realize something that you fought so hard to keep suppressed. 
Somehow, in the midst of it all, you had actually grown fond of the reef boy. 
Excluding the times where he was a complete nonce, Ao’nung had proven himself to you, just like he had promised to do. Your train of thought was halted as soon as you heard the leaves rustle. Your ears perked up as you recognized his footsteps, and you anxiously fiddled with your hands as you waited for him. 
“Hi, you.” He said, the awkwardness from earlier seemingly gone. 
You smiled at the phrase. You got up from your seat and walked towards him, reaching into your pouch for the extra visor you had snatched from Lo’ak. 
“Have you ever wanted to fly?” You asked directly, not even pausing to acknowledge his greetings.
His face scrunched up in confusion. “Yeah, why?” 
You handed him the visor, and it took him a couple minutes to guess what it was. Once he realized it though, his expression morphed from puzzlement to excitement to hesitation. He looked at you as if to say ‘are you sure?’ and you nodded encouragingly. 
“Do you trust me?” You looked deep into his eyes this time, no longer hiding your feelings. 
“Yeah, forest girl, I trust you.” He said through a slight grin. 
“Good.” You turned, calling out for Sìlpey. 
Your loyal banshee came flying straight onto the branch. You calmed her down, stroking her leathery wings. She screeched, clearly excited to see you again. You giggled at her, nudging her head with yours. 
“Ftue, Sìlpey. Tam-tam.” You said as you continued to soothe her excitement. 
You swiftly made tsaheylu with her, looking into her eyes as soon as you were done. You could feel her heightened emotions within you, and you took a deep breath before speaking to her once again. 
“Ma’Sìlpey, we are flying tonight.” You whispered, your hand coming up to stroke her jaw. “The sea boy wishes to join us, will you allow it?” 
Her neck snapped towards Ao’nung’s direction, her eyes examining him as a whole. It was quiet between the three of you, and you waited anxiously for her response. Her eyes squinted, surveying him even deeper as you tried to flow your memories of him into her. 
When you heard her roar of approval, you sighed in relief. You mounted her, fastening yourself securely. You gestured for him to join you, and he moved quickly as he was putting the visor on. You held out a hand for him, and this time he took it without hesitation. He sat behind you now, arms wrapped around the extended leather straps of your handle. 
“You ready?” You shouted, looking back at him to make sure he was secure. 
“More than ever!” He shouted back, his grin now twice as big. 
You flapped the visor down and reeled your ikran in before finally diving down from the tree. You screamed in delight – you would never be able to get over the freeing feeling of flying. You banked hard, swerving up before you could hit the water. Sìlpey’s feet glided against the surface of the sea, spraying both of you slightly. 
You laughed as you heard Ao’nung shout in excitement, feeling his adrenaline as you continued to guide your ikran in the air. You looped around the rock formations, flipping and lunging as you did you. 
“Go forest girl!” He cheered, hands pumping up. 
You couldn’t tell if it was his words or the butterflies in your stomach from flying that made you feel happy; you presumed that it could be both. The night sky was beautiful, each star burning brightly as you flew past them. Your hand came up to his thigh on instinct, holding him tightly as you dove down closer to the water again. 
Instead of pulling you away though, he rested his hand atop of yours and he wrapped his other arm around your waist. You turned to look at him, eyes as wide as the moon.
“I don’t want to fall!” Was all he said as he smirked at your reaction.
“If I wanted to drop you I would’ve already done so!” You yelled back, though it didn’t stop you from grinning like an idiot.
You shouted at the top of your lungs as you grazed the water, splashing Ao’nung in the process. His laugh vibrated through the night, and you couldn’t help but laugh along with him as you soared. Your heart was heavy, but in a good way this time. Your body felt more alive the longer you continued to fly, and you couldn’t remember the last time you had felt so euphoric. 
You continued flying the same paths for a while until you landed at the deserted beach Ao’nung had found you in. He hopped off first, waiting for you to safely break tsaheylu with Sìlpey. He helped you down, his grip gentle as he tried to avoid your bandaged arm. He watched as you instructed your ikran to fly back, and he waited until you were done before speaking up.
“That was,” He breathed heavily, his heart pounding like a drum. “That was incredible!”
Your laugh was like music to his ears, and he felt a sense of pride in being able to garner such an angelic sound from you. Oh Eywa, your mere presence was a sight to behold; in his eyes, the Great Mother had blessed you with such beauty that rivaled herself. 
He had always been entranced by you, but he couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason. Now he was finally understanding why. His foolishness – his arrogance had blinded him of you. You were so much more than just a girl from another clan. You were more than Toruk Makto’s daughter, more than just a taronyu from the Omatikaya. 
You were you; strong-hearted, alluringly beautiful you. 
“That was amazing,” He said, looking at you with so much hidden desire that it nearly killed him. “You are amazing.”
You heard his words, this time no longer glancing away or spinning around. You smiled, his compliment filling you with so much glee. If somebody told you two weeks ago that Ao’nung would be making you feel good about yourself, you would have laughed in their face. 
“I mean it, [Y/N].” He took a step closer to you, his eyes wandering your face. “You are so unbelievably astonishing.”
You let him ramble on, enjoying the sensation of praise. Your smile never faltered, only growing as he continued to speak. 
“May the Great Mother have mercy on me for how I have treated you, [Y/N].” He said, his tone genuine. 
“Oh she will.” You replied, pushing your visor up so you could look at him properly. “Because I have. Believe it or not, reef boy, but you have earned yourself a place in my heart. I think I am actually growing fond of your skxawng ass.”
As soon as those words left your mouth, it gave him the confidence to finally close the gap between the two of you. His hands came up to cup your face as he kissed you, stroking your temples as he did so. Your own hands wrapped around his wrists, your body melting into him as he kissed you for what felt like an eternity. 
Ao’nung couldn’t think straight, not with you finally in his arms like this. He felt light-headed, and the feeling only grew as he kept you close to him. You felt the same, your heart exploding the moment you felt his lips touch yours. 
When you finally parted from him, you took a second to admire the way he looked right now. This was the Ao’nung that had captured your heart; gentle with a sense of vulnerability. Gone was the boy you had hated – loathed, in front of you stood a Metkayinan boy who’s only hope was to make you feel happy. 
“So,” He said, catching his breath in the process. “I take it that I am forgiven?”
You laughed, your hand coming to stroke his cheek. “Yes, you skxawng, you are forgiven.” 
He kissed you again quickly before pausing to say something. He swallowed hard as he held your gaze, wanting to make sure that you heard what he had to say. 
“I see you, forest girl.” His words were tinged with a slight nervousness as he waited eagerly for your reply. 
You only smiled as you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing his mouth down to yours once more. “I see you, reef boy.” You whispered.
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reyalvr © 2023 ... do not repost, alter, or steal my work.
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tags┊ @neteyamslovrr, @normspellsman, @netegf, @a-queen-blr, @seashelldom, @ilupearls, @randxmthxughts, @aonungmyaddiction
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mulletmitsuya · 1 year
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Tokyo revengers groupchat (almost everyone, good timeline)
Warnings: swearing, suggestive, shenanigans
Desc: Takemitchy does his weekly check up (on his friends)
Takemitchy: hi everyone❗
Izana: shut up
Takemitchy: ahaha😆😅
Takemitchy: still as hostile as always Izana-kun😂😂😂
Takemitchy: how's everyone doing?
Izana: good if you would shut up
Mikey: leave babygirl alone and let him type his silly sentences Izana 😋
Izana: ...?
Draken: he's married
Mikey: Hina literally said i could call him that🙄
Hina: uhm, not really but it's fine i don't mind Ken-kun😅
Emma: Mikey😐
Emma: get out of Takemitchy and Hina's business
Mikey: stop trying to gatekeep them😒
Mikey: this is discrimination against single people
Rindou: and homosexuals
Rindou: Mitsuya, Hakkai, Ran, you etc
Rindou: praying for y'all
Ran: why is my name always in your mouth
Ran: and you're single 😒
Rindou: by choice🙌
Hakkai: no it's cause of the way you act
Rindou: how do i act?? cool, that's how, tf
Angry: dude, you act like someone who never received love from their parents
Angry: sorry
Smiley: don't apologize after insulting someone lil bro
Smiley: own that shit ❗💯😁
Inupi: can i leave
Mikey: you're very welcome to, actually
Inupi: i think i will stay, actually
Takemitchy: no one leaves guys😂
Baji: damn, can y'all shut the fuck up, i'm studying
Rindou: mute the chat, bozo
Angry: who calls people bozo man :/
Rindou: do you have an issue with me?
Rindou: let's settle this with our bodies
Smiley: 🤨
Angry: no thank you, i don't want to have sex with you
Rindou: you're pissing me off cause you know i meant a fight 😐
Mikey: you didn't word it that way at all
Rindou: no one was talking to you
Rindou: you will never find love and are doomed to watch the ones you love move on and be happy without you
Rindou: how bout them apples
Mikey: bro???
Draken: oddly specific
Rindou: yk what's oddly specific is that big ass forehead you have on you
Rindou: maximum cranium capacity
Rindou: bro thinks he's megamind
Rindou: idk why someone who walks around with one third of their hair is speaking to me rn
Emma: don't be mean😕
Emma: i think his head is proportionate :((
Kazutora: you made it worse
Draken: i didn't even say anything, this was complete unprovoked and now i'm pissed off
Mochi: Rindou stfu
Ran: Rindou chill out
Rindou: maybe chill with your alcohol addiction
Ran: no
Izana: Rindou shut up
Rindou: ...😒
Takemitchy: ok change of topic😂 what r u studying Baji-kun?
Baji: Sawcon
Draken: what's Sawcon?
Baji: Sawcon deez nuts lmao
Draken: yeah i'm done
Kazutora: he's studying Vet
Mitsuya: what's Vet?
Kazutora: being a Vet, duh 🙄
Mitsuya: can you tell me genuinely how the fuck i was supposed to assume that
Baji: Mitsuya just admit you're stupid bro
Mitsuya: k
Mitsuya: i hope you fail the year
Baji: jokes on you, i did
Mitsuya: oh
Mitsuya: my bad
Mikey: 💀
Chifuyu: better luck next year Baji-san
Ran: haven't you said that for the past 6 years
Baji: i have dementia, it's really hard to understand things ok😐
Kazutora: *diabetes
Chifuyu: ...guys
Ran: i chuckled
Smiley: are y'all trolling
Smiley: no way you guys r this fucking stupid
Angry: what are you even trying to say?
Draken: i think he means he's dyslexic
Baji: dyslexic on deez nuts lmao
Draken: i'll fucking kill you
Angry: we should be nice to each other sometimes
Angry: just a thought
Rindou: now that i'm thinking about it
Rindou: you give me autistic vibes
Angry: i'm not that good at painting or drawing but thanks Rindou😠❤👍
Angry: wait ☹️
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horseshoemybeloved · 7 months
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Girlies working on Sbonk painting we’re really going through it rn she is kinda ugly rn pray for me
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sparks-chaotic-cove · 1 month
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Okay people hear me out
"Writing on the Wall" by Will Stetson but with Malitae, Deltavera, and Fable.
Reasoning is that they're all gods that create! the artists of the gods, if you will
Lyric analysis underneath cut!
---------------Malitae----------------
Palaces of silver and gold Cannot be designed overnight - Palace of light for Vikesh It's like the saying I've often been told "No matter the cost, do things right" - Malitae with Rae's skirt
You have to be careful You have to be diligent - Malitae painting, drawing, etc all the paintings Planning and measuring every detail - Different portraits Creating is drawing, erasing and drawing again - Portrait, portrait smudged, another portrait And I've never been in it for fame or attention I only work hard, so the structures won't fail - invisible hands sewing But seeing it finished is worth every mora I spend - Malitae with Wolf/Fenris's new outfit!
Within every building made with pride The architect lives on inside - sketches of Malitae's Island Shining paint, a marble heart - Frog with hat, dragon That's what makes a work of art - the sun-moon thing! We build and we play Sculpting dreams out of clay - maybe with what malitae is making rn? With the hope that our towers don't fall That we won't have to see the writing on the wall - TBD
---------------Deltavera----------------
The more you work, the higher the stakes And the bigger the sorrows to drown - Delta caring for the nature 'Cause one mistake is all that it takes For the walls to come crumbling down - Delta ascending, eyes glow?
You have to ignore them, the echoing voices - Delta making more animals That cackle and curse as you toil away - humans being confused by the new creatures Cover your ears and focus on boxes and lines - Enderian walking up And the shadowy figures, they're nothing but shadows - she looks him in the eye, he nods Like ink on a page, they have nothing to say - he walks away, fades to black But maybe, just maybe - Delta looks up They're trying to give me a sign - the ender dragon looks down
That in every building made with pride - Delta looks upon the bear cub The architect remains inside - He pats it's head, ruffling the hair Peeling paint, a heavy heart That's what makes a work of art We scream and we pray Sculpting dreams out of clay As we try not to look at the scrawl - (I'll figure this out later) The message of doom, the writing on the wall - Delta dying
[ there's a little bridge here- so maybe Delta's soul winding around trees and eventually into the little bear cub! Then it'll go to Fable's portion ]
------------------Fable------------------------
Every day, we play this game of chance - Fable smiles at one of the lodestar grove inhabitants Whirling through a desperate dance - switches to Fable talking to Momboo and Ocie Sketching visions in our heads - Fable talking to Rae Just to see them ripped to shreds - Glitches to Icarus yelling at Rae This road that we share - Icarus and Ven in the Cathedral, Ven's already been hit, Icarus panicking Doesn't lead anywhere - Icarus and Fable flying away But there's nothing an artist can do - Centross walking into the cave, a snarl upon his face When you swing your brush, you have to follow through - Close up of Fable. Blood fades into appearing on it
Within every building made with pride The architect is trapped inside Bleeding paint, a shattered heart - Aurelius's death, Taking Rae's shards That's what makes a work of art - stepping through the portal, Isla and Enderian in the background I'll fight for control But the right way takes a toll And still, at the end of it all I can't escape my fate, the writing's on the wall - Will be decided later on! TBD
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tildexart · 2 months
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tmagp ep 8 live reactions!!
(disclaimer: typing this on my phone, please excuse any grammatical/spelling errors)
Oh architecture and brutalism!!! Omfg im so excited as someone switching their major to art/architectural history. This is right up my alley!! Plus i love a good academic paper
Oh wait- could the architecture have to do with Robert Smirke??
Liminal spaces…?
Architectural hunger!!
Holy shit I really like this essay. I feel like I’m learning. I’m here for the essay, not the horror.
Bro this is an essay not a therapy session, not sure if your professor will accept that /j
Um. Is this a panopticon??
I googled it. Y’all this building looks like a panopticon. The structure itself looks cool as well!
Hey dude I still don’t think this essay will get accepted
OHHH SPIRAL??
THIN WOMAN??? DO NOT GO INTO THAT DOOR
SHIT ITS THE DISTORTION
GET DISTORTED MOTHERFUCKER
Maybe not entirely the distortion. Distortion and stranger vibes.
Ohhhh I love this so much!!
BIT
HE BIT HIM
OH THEY EATING HIM
OH WHAT THE FUCK
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGHHGGHHGGGGG
OHHHHHH MAKE IT STOP
HM HM THIS IS LIKE THE FOLKS FROM THAT ONE HMM EXTINCTION STATEMENT?? MAYBE???? The evil carnival
Eughhhhhh
Really glad that we aren’t dealing with Smirke’s 14 here. Cause man, this cannot be limited to a single fear. And I LIKE THAT!!
Okay plot time.
LMAO THIS WAS ME AND MY ROOMMATES LMAOOO FILL UP THE WATER FILTER GUYS
Lmao Gwen doesn’t even know her job-
COLIN’S GONE?????? NOOOOOO MAN HES IN THE PUTERS
GERRY?????!?!?!??
GERRY KEAYYYYYYY
GERRYYYY
MAN IS LIVING A HAPPY LIFE???
“I’M GERRY” LIKE SURE AS HELL YOU ARE
OMG
GUYYYSSSSSSS
I laughed so hard I’m praying I didn’t wake my roommates oh shit
GERRYYYY
GEE GEE??
GERTRUDE???? GERTRUDE FUCKING ROBINSON?!??????????
OMfg
GUYS IM CRYING
GERRY AND GEEGEE
GERRY PAINTS??!???
GRANDSON
GRANDSON
GRANDSON
NOOOOO WAY
SAM DO NOT BRING UP THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE I STG LET GERRY BE HAPPY
OH FUCK THE GIFTED KIDS PROGRAM
oh its arg shit
this is gonna be bad
Oh Gerry…. I missed you
Guysssssss im so happy rn
Oh Gertrude knows somethings up
Celia’s idea..? SHE knows somethings up
Haha magnus…
HEY CELIA WHAT THE FUCK????
WDYMMM
TIME TRAVEL AND DIMENSIONS AND TELEPORTATION. GIRL. GIRLLLLLL. Okay so this absolutely is TMA Celia.
“That podcast you were on…” wait what.
Huh.
Excuse me.
Hm??
WHAT THE FUCK IS A PODCAST!!
GEORGIE GEORGIE GEORGIE
My roommates can definitely hear me holy shit what are these noises
HEY YEAH WHAT THE EVER-LOVING FUCK WAS THAT
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multifandomwaifu · 1 year
Text
Comfort [Scaramouche x GN Reader]
Fandom: Genshin Impact (video game)
Pairing: Scaramouche (The Wanderer) x GN Reader
Warning(s): spoilers for 3.2 story quest, mother Nahida (?), supportive MC, Probably OOC Scaramouche, Comfort and fluff, and what I think would be cute to happen in the next patch :) but most likely it's not how it goes ;;
A/N: Scara brainrot rn. Ty for all the likes on my works. I have been hating them lately but I keep posting my drafts for you to enjoy :)
Words: 1,290
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The stars were painted under the abyssal night sky, decorating the black canvas with luminous dots, offering a show to gaze upon. The cold Sumeru air seemed to accompany your stargazing, it was silent, just like you liked it. A night for yourself, it was just you and your thoughts. So much happened lately, you were soaking up the feeling of laziness, doing absolutely nothing then just recovering your strength and relaxing. A well-deserved break, for a hero like you.
You have been waiting lately for The Balladeer to wake up, sitting on the step of a dainty cottage near Port Ormos, the thoughts of your conversation with Nahida flashing in your head. 
 When you mentioned that you’ve been encountering the sixth of the fatui member before on occasional times, and had a slight history with them, Nahida was more than pleased to hear that. No, but really, her big green orbs turned the size of kitchen plates. “You probably caught his eye if he kept you on his radar. Always meeting on such unfortunate events too” she said busying herself in scanning the rows of materials offered in front of you. She insisted on you accompanying her to the market, the villagers being more than happy to see both their Archon, and their hero, shopping together.
Why she called you here and for what...that was beyond your knowing. She was simply persistent about you being present there.
This conversation dulled into the back of your mind, the scene some weeks before materializing back before your eyes. The cracked floors and the giant robot looming over his fallen form. You wanted to do everything in your power to be by his side, cradling his face into your palms and checking his injuries..but you couldn't.
You couldn't show everyone you cared for the enemy. That's what he was, right? Just an enemy to you, you had to get ride of the fatuis. You had to find your sibling, and get home..That's all.
 “Do you like him?” 
You looked at Nahida, wide-eyed and shocked,a tremble in your grasp being evident before the weapon you held materialized away, the facade, the walls you built up around the others, cracking down because you knew..Nahida already knew that all.
 “I love him dearly, and I’d do anything if it means that he’s happy and safe.” And when she left you, a slight bounce to her step, the Archon turned to give you a friendly smile, her features showing only gratitude. “You’re a good person [Y/N]… Whatever you do for him, I know that he’ll appreciate it.”  
You walked back inside, to see him, the desire being so strong, taking a seat down at his bedridden body, the stool under you being still warm, sign that Nahida was present here until a few minutes until you popped in.
He woke up with a start, in the middle of the night. He calls your name in a furious manner, a bit irked and groggy, but you reply, letting your hands grasp his cold ones into your much warmer ones.  
“Nahida and I patched up your wounds, so it might be a bit uncomfortable. I am sorry for any discomfort that you might feel right now.” He was silent for a second, staring confused at your entwined hands only to take move his judging gaze to take in your features, the troubled look, the small tremble of your lips when he lets your thumb gently rub his beaten-up and bloody knuckles.
 “Why are you here? I thought after what I did that you would despise me. That you would pray to the gods above to punish me greater than ever before. But here you are...by my bedside, rubbing my hand and giving me..." Here he was, was he going to confess to you? Having the same feelings like you? Finally admitting there was some slight spark there? ”...that pathetic look." Maybe not..
 “Now I’m just utterly confused, thrilled, and curious… you’re here, still by my side. Why?"
You looked at him, a smile forming upon your lips, the same friendly gaze you gave him back then being present on your features. It made a pang and sharp pain go thru his chest but he ignored it, refusing to show any signs of inferiority, even through the walls he’s made, which had fallen off its height for quite a while. “I care for you so much.”  
All the betrayals he faced before were staged with underlying reasons to care, but you seem to differ from all those people in his past. So when he asked why you cared so much about him, after everything he did, and how many times he tried to end you, your answer continues to resonate with the emotion you always gave to him.
 "I care because it’s you. You deserve the good things in life. You deserve the love and support. You are an admirable and strong person. You are yourself, Scaramouche, The sixth of the fatui. ” 
When you cup his cheeks, and he feels the soft touch of warm hands caressing him so delicately, his walls started to crumble. You continue to shower him with words sweet enough that there was no need to honey your voice, not around him at least.
 “And my love is the bonus besides me looking up to you and what you can do. The power you hold...I care for you, and I love you. That’s why I’m always here by you.” 
Your hands held his two hands together, and you see his gaze softening up, scanning all your features to find any trace of you lying or trying to use him. But he found none.
“Can I hug you? Can I hold just like you deserve?" You ask softly, and he lets you hold him, his head finding comfort in the crook of your neck, taking your scent in. 
He ushers you to the futon he was sleeping on. His body shakes for a second, and you hold him tighter, hearing heart-wrenching sobs that make him look so vulnerable right now.
You stroke his hair, fingers itching to wrap around his body but remember the tube scars locations on his upper back, taking caution in touching the area only to opt-in wrapping a hand around his waist. “I adore you so much..” You whisper softly into his ear, starting to murmur softly so he knows how much adoration and love you held for him.
You remained in this position, giving him the comfort and all the support that he needed. When he’s done, he asks you to sleep with him for the night, and there was no way you could decline. Once he lays both of you down, your hands wipe away the tear strains.  
”I still don’t understand much… What is there to love about me? I am a monster, I tried to kill you [Y/N]! I wanted to murder everything you held dear, how can you even --" His babbling was stopped by an index finger pressing against his cold lips, his eyes rounding in confusion at you.
 “Everything.”  
 “What does that even mean..? You love all of me? Even after what I have done?” He asks out, blinking twice at your small nod and shrug.
“I love all parts of you, and I will continue to love you, even if the world will frown upon us, I will be there, holding your hand and cheering you on. Cause you deserve the whole world."   
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scuderiahoney · 3 months
Note
HEYYY can we have a wee peek at your fic queue perhaps xxxx
hi babes not completely sure if this is what you were asking, so if I got this wrong pls let me know! but currently I’m still working on some of my 1k celebration blurbs, so more of those coming this weekend probably! also just posted a danny fic icymi!!
as for full length wips- I tend to be a little protective of these especially bc they tend to sit in my docs for a while before I finish them. but I’ll give some hints with the code names they have rn
‘paint palette’ w Oscar
‘spotlight’ w Max
‘ice cream & hoodies’ w Landoscar
‘cross the line’ w/ Charles
and a strawberry wine blurb that I am PRAYING gets me out of the permanent doghouse @theemporium has put me in
none of these are guaranteed/promises bc my brain is so fickle writing fics but that’s what I’m working on! thanks for asking!
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dykejaskier · 1 month
Note
Ik you said this ages ago and in the tags of a post, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on Rüdeger and his mental health
anon i'm down on one knee proposing rn thank you for sending this in
stray thoughts and ramblings (sorry if this is messy, it's getting to 6 am and i have Not slept):
i'm really curious as to how his identity interacts with his faith. from my understanding, monasteries were intended to be safe havens away from the secular world (my notes from a course on early mediaeval monasticism call them "a place where a life similar to that of the angels takes place, a harbour of calm that resists the storms of the world of outside") - and so he's in this space that's meant to be separated from "sin" but at the same time, he's living in it through his identity* and relationship (at least according to the institution he's a part of). i'd love to know how he views himself, the church, the concept of sin in the first place - like obviously he's terrified of anyone finding out about them, but from memory it's expressed more so as worry over mathieu? which in turn makes me wonder if that's because he's at peace with his own fate due to self-deprecating reasons and so doesn't bother worrying about himself (i'm sinful and will go to hell regardless but mathieu deserves better) or if he thinks there's nothing sinful about their relationship in the first place (and so persecuting mathieu, the man he loves, over it, is unfathomable and unfair) [*i'm aware that the concept of queerness as an identity is more contemporary, but i couldn't think of a better word]
also curious as to how he ended up at kiersau. we don't know his backstory - how'd he end up becoming a monk? did something happen to drive him towards it? is there a precedent for him running away from things (if andreas blackmails him and mathieu, he leaves, i think to protect mathieu)? inquiring minds would like to know
hc time: i think that the town turning on them in act II feels that much more terrifying because while they're not persecuting him because of his queerness, it's entirely likely that they/others would, if their relationship was revealed. so the whole thing is like a manifestation of his worst fears. no wonder he's upstairs having a panic attack
SPEAKING OF. anxiety girlie who gets panic attacks and self-soothes by singing. and i'm sure mathieu's presence calms him (doubly so because mathieu's probably the only person in his life who gets it. who understands him. who sees him without that act of perceiving being judgemental)
another question: what does rüdeger himself think of his mental health issues? we have the language to describe it now, with modern terms, but - and not to paint with a broad stroke - a 16th century monk probably wouldn't necessarily internalise something like a panic attack as being a health issue, but rather a spiritual affliction. which brings me back to wondering how he thinks of himself, and of god, and if it's possible he views his issues as a divine punishment (like how some fundies describe depression as like. being something given to them by the devil? that they can pray away?)
in my self-indulgent hc, he feels better after leaving kiersau. mathieu getting a big promotion probably brings new anxieties but at the same time, makes them just a bit more untouchable. also, if andreas was not an asshole about discovering them in the library, i feel that'd give him an opportunity to see that people can be good and understanding about him/them (though i also have a feeling that rüdeger is the type of person to believe the best about people, at least when's he's not actively spiralling. mathieu does describe him as "a gentle soul" and "a kind and thoughtful man")
that's all i have for now. i love him and mathieu so much, they deserve everything <3
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