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inkskinned · 10 months

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you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

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magnetic-rose · 1 year

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for the record even if ganondorf is irredeemably evil and tries to kill everyone i’ll still support him. he’s my boo. my cinnamon apple. my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good time boy. he’s my babygirl, the apple of my eye, the reason i get up in the mornings. my forever galpal.

#totk #botw #legend of zelda #loz #ganondorf #i do THINK... even if he stays the villain (which honestly is probably the most likely lol) that he'll be more nuanced #I HOPE #but like.............#totk is giving heavy princess mononoke vibes #especially with link's arm becoming corrupted after being grabbed by the evil tendrils?#exactly how ashitaka's arm got corrupted #so i can see this ganondorf being like a lady eboshi villain #they both want to rule the world and they both do terrible things #but they care about their people #they have qualities that make others loyal to them despite their amoral actions #wind waker ganondorf said he initially did everything because he was resentful of how his people were dying in the desert #while hyrulians prospered #i want to see more of that #and less of 2 dimensional evil for the sake of being evil

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pikahlua · 6 days

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MHA Chapter 423 spoilers translations

This week’s initial tentative super rough/literal translations under the cut.

tagline 1 ねじ込んだ一撃ーー‼︎ ねじこんだいちげきーー‼︎ nejikonda ichigeki--!! A single, exacting blow--!!

tagline 2 No.423　OFA vs AFO　堀越耕平ナンバー423　ワン・フォー・オールバーサスオール・フォー・ワン　ほりこしこうへい NANBAA 423 WAN FOO OORU vs OORU FOO WAR Horikoshi Kouhei No. 423 One for All vs All for One Kouhei Horikoshi

1 何故気付けなかったなぜきづけなかった naze kidzukenakatta Why didn't I notice?

2 この窶れた"身体"に「超再生」が適用されない違和感このやつれた"からだ"に「ちょうさいせい」がてきようされないいわかん kono yatsureta "karada" ni 「chousaisei」 ga tekiyou sarenai iwakan [This] sense of discomfort that Super Regeneration no longer applies to this worn-out body.

3 こいつだ…いやーーー koitsu da...iya--- It's this guy...no---

4 こいつらがーー‼︎ koitsura ga--!! All of these [people]--!!

5 謀ったのだはかったのだ hakatta no da They conspired.

1 それ単体ではそれたんたいでは sore tantai de wa By itself

2 あまりに脆弱な"敵意" あまりにぜいじゃくな"てきい" amari ni zeijaku na "tekii" [each one's] enmity was too frail,

3 しかし撚り集まってしかしよりあつまって shikashi yori atsumatte but when they gathered together,

4 いつしか僕を覆い感受を鈍らせていたのだいつしかぼくをおおいかんじゅをにぶらせていたのだ itsu shika boku wo ooi kanju wo niburasete ita no da before I knew it, they enshrouded me and dulled my sensitivity. (Note: He means his ability to sense one person via Danger Sense became dulled because there were too many people with enmity gathered together in one place.)

5 与一と継承者どもを打ち込まれたあの時にもう精神のみならずよいちとけいしょうしゃどもをうちこまれたあのときにもうせいしんのみならず Yoichi to keishousha-domo wo uchikomareta ano toki ni mou seishin no minarazu Yoichi and all the successors were cast [into me]. At that time, not only my spirit but

6 身体も…‼︎ からだも…‼︎ karada mo...!! my body, too...!!

7 生半可な"身体"ではなまはんかな"からだ"では namahanka na "karada" de wa (literal) A half-baked body (official) Your limp-noodle body isn't ready for it.

8 受け取り切れず四肢が爆散してしまうんだ！うけとりきれずししがばくさんしてしまうんだ！ uketori kirezu shishi ga bakusan shite shimaunda! (literal) can't receive it. Your limbs would explode! (official) Your limbs would pop right off!! (Note: This frame is from chapter 2.)

9 たった2年…！8代目より少し上乗せされた… たった2ねん…！8だいめよりすこしうわのせされた… tatta 2nen...! 8daime yori sukoshi uwanosesareta... "Only 2 years...! I only added a little more to [what it was with] 8th..." (Note: He means he only added 2 years' worth of power to OFA, a tiny amount after what it was when All Might passed it off.)

10 9人分の力の結晶だ 9にんぶんのちからのけっしょうだ 9ninbun no chikara no kesshou da "It's the crystallization of power in proportion to nine people."

1 既に"身体"もすでに"からだ"も sude ni karada mo This body also has already

2 砕かれていた事にくだかれていたことに kudakarete ita koto ni been broken, unfortunately.

3 "個性"が崩れてく… "こせい"がくずれてく… "kosei" ga kuzureteku... "His quirks are crumbling..." (Note: This is a word often used to describe the effects of Tomura's Decay.)

4 やったのか緑谷…！やったのかみどりや…！ yatta no ka Midoriya...! "Did you do it, Midoriya...!"

1 まだだ‼︎ mada da!! Not yet!!

2 "個性"で無理矢理 "こせい"でむりやり "kosei" de muriyari With his quirks, he forcibly

3 つなぎ止めた！つなぎとめた！ tsunagitometa! tied himself together! (Note: This word also means "to save someone's life." In this case AFO is forcibly preserving his own life by using his quirks to keep himself from falling apart.)

4 まだ何も為していないまだなにもなしていない mada nani mo nashite inai "I haven't achieved anything yet."

5 誰にも奪わせはしない…‼︎ だれにもうばわせはしない…‼︎ dare ni mo ubawase wa shinai...!! "I won't let anyone steal it away...!!"

6 僕だけが夢を為すぼくだけがゆめをなす boku dake ga yume wo nasu "Only I will achieve my dream."

7 誰にも…！継がぬ…紡がぬ‼︎ だれにも…！つがぬ…つむがぬ‼︎ dare ni mo...! tsuganu...tsumuganu!! "No one...! [They] won't inherit it... [They] won't spin the tale*!!" (*Note: The word used here means "to spin (thread), to make up a story, to assemble, to put together.")

8 魔王は常に唯一‼︎ まおうはつねにゆいいつ‼︎ maou wa tsune ni yuiitsu!! "The Demon King is always the only one!!"

9 そうだとも繰り返せばいい… そうだともくりかえせばいい… sou da tomo kurikaeseba ii... Even if that's true, I can just do it over again...

10 愚かな弔にそうしたように‼︎ おろかなとむらにそうしたように‼︎ oroka na Tomura ni sou shita you ni!! Just like how I did to foolish Tomura!!

11 OFA無き今緑谷でも…！誰でも‼︎ ワン・フォー・オールなきいまみどりやでも…！だれでも‼︎ WAN FOO OORU naki ima Midoriya demo...! dare demo!! Even Midoriya, now that he doesn't have One For All...! Anyone!!

12 "個性"を「与え」奪えばいい‼︎ "ぼく自身"を「あたえ」うばえばいい‼︎ "boku jishin (kanji: kosei)" wo 「atae」 ubaeba ii!! I can give and take away "myself" (read as: my quirk)!!

1 器を!!! うつわを!!! utsuwa wo!!! "[I'll make] a vessel!!!"

2 もうやめろAFO もうやめろオール・フォー・ワン mou yamero OORU FOO WAN "Give it a rest, All For One."

3 緑谷‼︎ みどりや‼︎ Midoriya!! "Midoriya!!"

4 白雲…⁉︎ しらくも…⁉︎ Shirakumo...!? "Shirakumo...!?"

5 消…太しょう…た Shou...ta "Shou...ta"

6 山…田… やま…だ… Yama...da... "Yama...da..."

7 ゴメン…ナ…… GOMEN...NA...... "I'm...sorry......"

8 行かなくては…私はーーーーーいかなくては…わたしはーーーーー ikanakute wa...watashi wa----- Have to go...I-----

1 死柄木弔を守らなくてはしがらきとむらをまもらなくては Shigaraki Tomura wo mamoranakute wa I have to protect Tomura Shigaraki

2 Xあ‼︎X生‼︎ Xあ‼︎Xしょう‼︎ XA!! Xshou!! (Note: This speech bubble is partially cut off.)

3 やっぱり…‼︎どこまでも… yappari...!! doko made mo... "As expected...!! No matter what..."

4 手ぇ差し伸べちまうんだよあいつは‼︎ てぇさしのべちまうんだよあいつは‼︎ tee sashinobechimaunda yo aitsu wa!! "he's that guy who'll hold out his hand [for someone]!!"

5 A…FO… オール…フォー・ワン… OORU...FOO WAN... "All...For One..."

6 死柄…木弔を…オ返シ…下サイしがら…きとむらを…オかえシ…くだサイ Shigara...ki Tomura wo...OkaSHI...kudaSAI "Tomura Shigara...ki...Please give...him back."

7 オッおォッ OoO "Ooo"

1 オ友達が待っテイルんデすオともだちがまっテイルんデす Otomodachi ga matTE IRUnDEsu "His friends are waiting."

1 爆豪⁉︎ ばくごう⁉︎ Bakugou!? "Bakugou!?"

2 病院にって…‼︎うっそだろあいつ！びょういんにって…‼︎うっそだろあいつ！ byouin ni tte...!! usso daro aitsu! "They said [you were heading to] the hospital...!! That guy's unbelievable!"

3 「爆破」で一人で来やがった‼︎ 「ばくは」でひとりできやがった‼︎ 「bakuha」 de hitori de kiyagatta!! "He went and came over alone using Explosion!!"

4 轟の"ジャンプ台"貸りたけどよォ〜〜〜〜〜とどろきの"ジャンプだい"かりたけどよォ〜〜〜〜〜 Todoroki no "JANPU dai" karita kedo yoO~~~~~ "I borrowed Todoroki's jump platform, but~~~~~"

5 俺に追い越されてンなよ出久‼︎ おれにおいこされてンなよいずく‼︎ ore ni oikosareteN na yo Izuku!! "don't let me overtake you, Izuku!!"

6 AFO…‼︎おまえを許しはしないオール・フォー・ワン…‼︎おまえをゆるしはしない OORU FOO WAN...!! omae wo yurushi wa shinai "All For One...!! I won't forgive you."

1 けれど理解できない化物だとも思わないけれどりかいできないばけものだともおもわない keredo rikai dekinai bakemono da to mo omowanai "But I don't think you're an incomprehensible monster."

2 …やめろ ...yamero "...Stop."

3 おまえは魔王なんかじゃないおまえはまおうなんかじゃない omae wa maou nanka ja nai "You are not actually a Demon King."

4 見るなみるな miruna "Don't look [at me]."

5 おまえはただの omae wa tada no "You're just"

6 寂しがりな人間だ‼︎ さみしがりなにんげんだ‼︎ samishigari na ningen da!! "a lonely person!!"

1 与一…⁉︎ よいち…⁉︎ Yoichi...!? "Yoichi...!?"

2 緑谷くんはみどりやくんは Midoriya-kun wa "Midoriya-kun"

3 限り限りのラインでカケラが残るようぎりぎりのラインでカケラがのこるよう girigiri no RAIN de KAKERA ga nokoru you "seems to have a fragment remain for as long as possible."

4 ぶつける力を調整したんだね…… ぶつけるちからをちょうせいしたんだね…… butsukeru chikara wo chousei shitanda ne...... "I guess he adjusted the force of his hit......"

5 そして　残り火による"感応"で叩き起こしたんだそして　のこりびによる"かんのう"でたたきおこしたんだ soshite nokoribi ni yoru "kannou" de tataki okoshitanda Then, I was roused awake in response to his embers.

6 僅かな残滓となった僕をわずかなざんしとなったぼくを wazuka na zanshi to natta boku wo I, who became mere dregs,

7 ワン・フォー・オールを WAN FOO OORU wo One For All.

8 正しく完遂させる為にただしくかんすいさせるために tadashiku kansui saseru tame ni In order to properly follow [things] through. (Note: The order of the lines here makes this confusing. He's saying that, in response to Izuku's final attack with his embers, the barest dregs of Yoichi's vestige was roused. This one last piece of his vestige remained likely because Izuku held back on his attack using Yoichi's vestige. Now that he, the base One For All quirk, has awoken, he will carry out the mission of One For All.)

9 どうでもいい‼︎ dou demo ii!! "I don't care!!"

10 どうでもいい‼︎ dou demo ii!! "I don't care!!"

11 消えるな‼︎顔を見せろ！きえるな‼︎かおをみせろ！ kieruna!! kao wo misero! "Don't disappear!! Show your face!"

12 無理だよむりだよ muri da yo "That's impossible."

13 消えるきえる kieru "I'll disappear."

14 駄目だだめだ dame da "You can't!"

15 僕のモノだ‼︎僕を見ていろ‼︎目を見せろ‼︎ ぼくのモノだ‼︎ぼくをみていろ‼︎めをみせろ‼︎ boku no MONO da!! boku wo mite iro!! me wo misero!! "You're mine!! Look at me!! Show [me] your eyes!!"

16 兄さんにいさん niisan "[Older] Brother,"

17 貴方を導けなかったあなたをみちびけなかった anata wo michibikenakatta "I couldn't guide you."

18 これは緑谷くんが見出してくれたこれはみどりやくんがみいだしてくれた kore wa Midoriya-kun ga miidashite kureta "Midoriya-kun discovered this for me."

19 僕らへの最期の救済だぼくらへのさいごのきゅうさいだ bokura e no saigo no kyuusai da "It's our final* salvation." (*Note: The word used for "final" here means "one's last moment at their time of death.")

1 駄目だ‼︎許可しない‼︎大好きだ！だめだ‼︎きょかしない‼︎だいすきだ！ dame da!! kyoka shinai!! daisuki da! "You can't!! I won't allow it!! I love you!"

2 大好きなんだ!!!おまえがいないと僕は駄目なんだ!!! だいすきなんだ!!!おまえがいないとぼくはだめなんだ!!! daisuki nanda!!! omae ga inai to boku wa dame nanda!!! "I love you!!! If you're gone I have no purpose*!!!" (*Note: The word used here, dame, means many things depending on context. It means "bad, no good, useless, broken, hopeless, wasted, in vain, purposeless.")

3 そうやって sou yatte "In that way,"

4 全てを己が為に利用してきた代償を払う時だすべてをおのがためにりようしてきたツケをはらうときだ subete wo ono ga tame ni riyou shite kita TSUKE (kanji: daishou) wo harau toki da "it's time to pay reparations for taking advantage of everything for your own sake."

5-6 彼が起こしたのは僕だけじゃないかれがおこしたのはぼくだけじゃない kare ga okoshita no wa boku dake ja nai "I was not the only one he awoke."

1 先生に喰われて消滅したと思ったんだけどな… せんせいにくわれてしょうめつしたとおもったんだけどな… sensei ni kuwarete shoumetsu shita to omottanda kedo na... I thought I had been devoured by Master and disappeared, but...

2 あんたが俺をあんたがおれを anta ga ore wo were you

3 消えないように繋ぎ止めてたのかきえないようにつなぎとめてたのか kienai you ni tsunagi tometeta no ka tying* me down so I wouldn't disappear? (*Note: Again, this word also means "to save someone's life.")

4 おばあちゃん obaachan Grandma,

5 黒霧…………… くろぎり…………… Kurogiri............... Kurogiri...............

6 先生から身体を奪い返しただけでせんせいからからだをうばいかえしただけで sensei kara karada wo ubai kaeshita dake de I only stole my body back from Master, and

7 何も壊せやしなかったなにもこわせやしなかった nani mo kowase ya shinakatta I didn't destroy anything.

8 結局俺はおまえの言った通り…泣いてるガキだったって事かけっきょくおれはおまえのいったとおり…ないてるガキだったってことか kekkyoku ore wa omae no itta toori...naiteru GAKI datta tte koto ka "In the end, I was just as you said... A crying kid, huh?"

9 この手をX壊せなかったX このてをXこわせなかったX kono te wo X kowasenakatta X "This hand X couldn't break X"." (Note: Some of this speech bubble is cut off. It could say something like "I couldn't break these hands of yours.")

10 …やった事を許せはしないだから戦った …やったことをゆるせはしないだからたたかった ...yatta koto wo yuruse wa shinai da kara tatakatta "...I can't forgive the things you've done; that's why I fought."

1 止めたかったし…止まってほしかったんだとめたかったし…とまってほしかったんだ tometakatta shi...tomatte hoshikattanda "I wanted to stop [you]... I wanted [you] to stop,"

2 悲しみが紡がれないようにかなしみがつむがれないように kanashimi ga tsumugarenai you ni "so that the sadness wouldn't [keep] spin[ning]*." (*Note: This is back to that word that means "to spin yarn, to spin tales, etc." Izuku is saying he didn't want the sadness to beget more sadness. He wants the chain of sadness to stop.)

3 ハッ HA "Ha." (Note: This is an exhalation that could mean any number of things, like shock, laughter, realization, etc.)

4 緑谷出久みどりやいずく Midoriya Izuku "Izuku Midoriya,"

5 スピナーが生きてたら伝えてくれよスピナーがいきてたらつたえてくれよ SUPINAA ga ikitetara tsutaete kure yo "if Spinner is alive, please tell him [something]."

6 "死柄木弔"は最期まで壊す為に戦ったって "しがらきとむら"はさいごまでこわすためにたたかったって "Shigaraki Tomura" wa saigo made kowasu tame ni tatakatta tte "Tomura Shigaraki fought until the very end* in order to destroy." (*Note: Again, this is that "finale" word that means "one's last moment at their time of death.")

7 もう…壊したよもう…こわしたよ mou...kowashita yo "You already...destroyed [it]."

tagline 決着‼︎永きにわたる因縁が晴れ上がるーー‼︎ けっちゃく‼︎ながきにわたるいんねんがはれあがるーー‼︎ kecchaku!! nagaki ni wataru innen ga hareagaru--!! Settled!! The chain of cause and effect that spans a long time is cleared up--!!

#my hero academia leak translations #mha 423 #bnha 423 #my hero academia manga spoilers #final arc spoilers #this chapter got fma music stuck in my head #wow there's a lot to say about this chapter #i'm sure everyone's gonna have strong feelings about it #a lot of people read all sorts of feelings and such into these characters #i fear that may convolute some things unfortunately #i'll probably try to withhold my final opinion until we get some falling action #i suspect spinner will add some things to this at the very least #anyways when i said that as a katsuki stan i was worried about stans for all the other characters i was serious as hell lol

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 months

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MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 2 - Psyche Skills

Part 1 - Part 3

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #disco elysium #MDZS disco elysium au #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #yu ziyuan #While it's more in vogue to draw a character's skill roster tailored to them -#One of the more subtle details I love in DE is how some of the skill portraits parallel character portraits of people hbd associates with.#Theres somethine rather poetic to be said about how other people shape out thoughts and sometimes act as a 'voice' in our head.#How we are in part a collection of impressions other people left behind on us.#I am a huge Skillhead (Those are my friends! My party members! They love me! They have their own agendas and alliances!)#so of course a healthy portion of this AU is dedicated to them <3 #the Int skills go basically unchanged from DE. Psy as well (with changes to a few quirks in voice).#Fys skills though...well...wwx is in a different body! Those voices belong to Someone Else.#Esp electrochem (MXY in this AU also partied to near death. WWX is withdrawing and craving substances he's never even heard of before)#While I personally don't fully subscribe to Volition Jean I *do* see Volition Jiang Cheng. The voice of your Not Brother keeping you afloat #All three of these parallels make me unbelievably sad. They are also both purple. Art is like that sometimes.#Empathy Jiang Yanli...oh man do I have a lot of thoughts about her. Disco fans Who Know....you can probably see what I'm cooking.#Authority is a really interesting skill in DE because *yes* its about power and intimidation - but it's also about finesse and respect #Titus Hardie and YZY both abuse *and* finesse how they establish their authority - in a way that leaves quite an impression.#2 more mdzs disco posts that I *need* to create and then I'm off to working on raffles <3

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icewindandboringhorror · 7 months

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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

#tumblr polls #hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today #still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual #They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully #it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec #fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since #I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm #ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos #or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things #I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming #over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY #I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb #e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about #different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see #stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I #can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone #said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects #the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm

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ashoss · 3 months

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lol i guess u make it as an artist when ur reposted onto pinterest

#hey mom i made it #no but seriously do people really just make a living off reposting other peoples art #i did not even get asked if i would mind #no “hey can i upload onto pintrest?”#like i probably would have said yes if they asked me #but when u dont???#and both of these accs are purely reposted artwork from other people its insane #ALSO the fact the bruce and jason one is soo low quality like they couldnt even bother to save a higher quality photo of it #like bro #not art #ash's ramblings

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the-judicial-assistants-notebook · 3 months

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the Klavier-Edgeworth parallels of I Don't Care How You Feel, the Truth Is the Only Thing That Matters™ are very interesting, but the Klavier-Phoenix parallels of nothing bad has ever affected me in my life idk what you're talking about that didn't mean anything I'm not talking about it I'm not thinking about it I'm not acknowledging it they may not be dead but they're dead to me and that's how I like it I'm never looking at them again because they're dead they're gone they're a ghost and this is a perfectly healthy way to live look at me I'm thriving I'm thriving I'm thriving are also very interesting, do you get what I'm saying.

#i dont think this is what people meant by have you ever thought of making a narumitsu fanchild #(<- nobody has asked me that i just thought it was funny)#addendum to the klavier post because i somehow didnt make the connection then. starting to think all the aa4 characters are several old #characters stuck in a blender and poured into a shiny new cup.#klavier gavin #phoenix wright #klavier's definitely better at the never looking at it again thing & i think that's due to his edgeworth iciness like i said originally #phoenix has too much heart and i think he's sort of in recovery from that type of behaviour (it's a work in progress)#anyway they should have faced off against each other again. dual destinies did many things poorly but having them appear in the same case #and interacting with zero tension was probably one of the things it did worst.#also awful that im still thinking about him. he's gotten in my head.

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killjoy-prince · 3 months

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House M.D. but it's when a character says the name of the episode

#house md #prince's talk tag #flashing #repitition #so as i was watching this show i noticed they'd say the episode title in the episode #so i wanted to see how many times they did it #the people on livejournal who made transcripts of the episodes are my saviors and without them this would of been so much harder to do #thank you all for your service and i hope wherever you all are you're having a great day #sometimes they would use a variation of the word like in the episode poison they would say 'poisoned' or 'poisoning'#i did not include those instances #there was an instance in 'merry little christmas' where they do play the song in the show #but since ella fitzgerald was not a character in the show i did not include it #where as in the episode 'joy to the world' the students are singing it in the concert so i did include that #i apologize for the tonal whiplash when you get to that part but it did make me laugh #one of the times kutner says 'locked in' is overshadowed by the POTW's voice over but i assure you he says it and thats why its in there #out of the main characters from the one who said the title the most to least are #House > Foreman > Wilson > Chase > Cuddy > Adams > Cameron and Taub > Kutner > Thirteen and Park #this took a bit to do lolol its probably been done already but i wanted my own #there is a chance im missing some on technicalities but idc. im fine with this #there are two more i wanna do but with a character saying another character's name but ill do that some other time #EDIT: When I was making this video I was unaware that the Pilot episode went by two names: 'Pilot' and 'Everybody Lies'#Basically everywhere I looked the first episode was only referred to by 'Pilot'#which I found weird bc i remember seeing somewhere that the last episode was paired with the first episode in terms of title #but i couldn't find hard proof so I decided to leave it out at the time #well i checked again last night and yea the pilot IS also called Everybody Lies so I updated the video #I also think it goes well with the fact that House does say 'Everybody Dies' in the finale so another reason to fix it #AND he says it without Wilson while he and Wilson say the title of the pilot sooooo yea hehehehehe

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godhelpmeimdescendingintomadness · 10 months

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Someone's probably pointed this out already but like, the joke about Chidi thinking he's in the bad place because of his love of almond milk is actually true in a way. It's like, haha look at this character thinking that he's in basically hell for such a stupid little thing, and then we find out NO, actually, EVERYONE is going to literal hell for stupid little things that's the whole PROBLEM.

#the good place #the good place spoilers #just a lil thing i was thinking about #like i said its probably smthn very obvious other people have already picked up on but i just had to put it into words for my lil brainworm #to be happy #tgp #tgp spoilers

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l832 · 1 year

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tomurakii · 27 days

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I kind of hate all the comparisons between kipperlily and like. Those fuckass "affirmative action fucks me over I wish I was [minority] so it would be easier" people because none of that. Is what she said. She said the bad kids already had more experience with adventuring before they got to augefort and it meant they had an advantage. Which is true. Yeah Riz was lower-class but his mum was a COP. Riz, Kristen and Fig had parents who were heroes (Sandra-Lynn is an active ranger, Kristen's parents are paladins, Sklonda is a rogue), Adaine's family was super rich and politically influential, Fabian had both. Gorgug's the only one who wasn't actively at an advantage [IN THE CONTEXT OF HAVING PRIOR KNOWLEDGE ABOUT HEROISM] and she didn't have shit to say about him. Kipperlily was the first person in her family to try heroism, the bad kids are largely legacy admissions.

Additionally to the people comparing it to the "anti-affirmative action" crowd: do you know what affirmative action is. The bad kids didn't receive special consideration on their admissions to aguefort or scholarships or additional financial support or extended assessment times or anything. How could she be mad about affirmative action if none of these people received affirmative action. What they DID have was knowledge about their classes that started much earlier than high school, which is what Kipperlily said in her file that she thought grading should be adjusted for because she did not have that.

To me it's less like affirmative action and more like augefort is like an IQ test. They pretend that it's fair and objective, but you can be taught how to do those things from a younger age, and if your parents took the time to teach you pattern recognition and shit then you'll do better on an IQ test than someone who wasn't trained for it and everyone will act like that makes you innately smarter when it doesn't. It just means someone taught you how to do that earlier.

Barring Gorgug, every one of the bad kids had access to information about heroism and their class at a younger age than Kipperlily did, which primed them for success in their classes. Every one of them got additional information about mysteries from their families (and even direct battle-tactics training from Bill), Riz especially with getting classified info out of his mum. Kipperlily does not have hero relatives. She's the first in her family line to attend a hero school. She knew nothing about it before her first day, meanwhile Kristen was already the chosen of Helio, Adaine had already been attending the best wizard school in the country, Fabian had already spent his whole life training with his father, and Riz was already involved in solving mysteries using info and tactics he got from his parents.

They aren't necessarily "privileged" (except Fabian and Adaine), but Kipperlily didn't say they were, she said that in the specific context of attending a hero school they had a prior-knowledge advantage. Saying they didn't is like comparing the grades of a kid who's academic career started with preschool with a kid who didn't attend until middle school and acting like one of them wasn't better prepared.

#like cmon people. you already hated her so you're reaching to justify it more #is it reason to be as hateful as she is? no. but she was 14 when she said the shit about riz's dad and. CRUCIALLY. kids from healthy homes #dont wish death on their parents lol. like objectively #shes not poor but neither is fabian. neither was season 1 adaine. and yet we wouldn't say their home lives were GREAT now would we #or that they had nothing to complain about just because they were economically advantaged #she thinks its unfair because she came into augefort blind meanwhile riz had been doing investigator shit for years already #and she has not learned healthy coping mechanisms. like brennan calls her anger childish and its because shes a CHILD #and she only became this cruel because she's possessed by literally the god of rage. because it was that or death #ive even seen people waxing tragic about every other rat grinder's “deal” with ankarna but acting like kipperlily was just fine with that #because she was angry already. she DIED. and having anger issues/emotional regulation issues doesnt mean you WANT TO DESTROY THE WORLD #she probably wanted to live just as much as any of the others did. and this was the sacrifice. she was 16 #d20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high #kipperlily copperkettle

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chososhairbuns · 1 year

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not only is the shimazaki defeat scene an absolutely fucking hilarious example of subversive humor but it also makes total sense in the narrative. the story spends so much time building up his skills and how difficult it would be to take him down, culminating in a chaotic battle between him and like 10 other people simultaneously - with said other people being the ones to struggle and fight for their lives for most of it - and then reigen, the one major character who has zero psychic abilities, is the one to take him down.

and again it makes total sense with the story's themes! in a more conventional shounen he would likely have been defeated by mob, but that wouldn't have gone together well with what mp100 is trying to say. out of all of the super 5, shimazaki appears to be the one after suzuki himself to really subscribe to the whole "being a psychic makes me better than u" rhetoric, so having reigen be the one to get him to back down is a much better choice.

he activates mind's eye when he finally starts losing to teru and co., a move that sacrifices his ability to see anyone that isn't a psychic, but to him it isn't really a sacrifice because what can someone who isn't a psychic really do to someone as powerful as him? walk right up to him and punch him obviously, but this seemingly straightforward scenario never even crosses his mind. even when it does end up happening, he still doesn't consider, let alone realize, that he left himself wide open for someone like reigen to attack, instead opting to believe the much less plausible scenario that a psychic who can hide their aura is who defeated him.

but to him, it's the one that actually makes sense.

#mob psycho 100 #mp100 #shimazaki ryou #pretty sure this is stuff other people have said before lol #and probably in a much better way lolol #.are

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public-trans-it · 11 months

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Man, I genuinely owe my life to FtM Girlies. Without them I wouldn’t have figured out my gender shit anywhere near as well and would probably still be going “Yeah I’m a trans gal. That’s… close enough. I’m happier as that than a Cis guy so I must be, right?”

Without them I wouldn’t have really taken the time to sit down and realize just how fucking weird gender can be, and the kind of things you can do with it.

I will forever remember the moment someone I was chatting to was discussing their pronouns, and pulled out a damn FLOWCHART. It could more or less be summed up as “Cis people: I am a trans dude, I use He/Him pronouns. Binary trans people: I am nonbinary. I use They/Them pronouns. Everyone else: Use whatever weird shit you think applies best to me.” and looking at it forced my third eye open and allowed me to realize just how vast the potential of gender was as a means of self-expression and identity, and how much of our identity rests in our relationships with others.

That was the moment that made me take a step back and go “Well now hold on a second. DO I want to be a girl? AM I a girl at all?” Sitting down and questioning “If I was AFAB, would I be cis?” And realizing that the idea of being a cis girl was just as revolting to me as being a “cis” guy for so much of my life was. Had I been AFAB I absolutely would still end up as trans! Which got me thinking about what my transition goals actually WERE.

Even now years later I stilled haven’t explored the full extent of my gender, and the potential that still lies within it. It’s become so tangled up in my relationship to DID as well as my views of animism. It’s something deeply personal, and I’m not sure if I’d ever even be capable of sharing the full extent of it, though am happy to try for the curious.

The more I talk with friends, the more I realize I’m not alone in this. Bespoke genders are AWESOME and incredibly common actually! Even my ‘cis’ friends that I’ve talked to, when we really explore it, and up saying stuff like “Yeah I’m like 90% cis. There’s certainly SOME complex stuff there but it’s small and not worth the hassle”, but even as they say that I can see that bit of joy of not HAVING to bottle up that tiny bit anymore. And it’s beautiful!

EVERYONE should be comfortable exploring the full extent of their gender. Everyone should take pride in that little tiny sliver of gender fuckery dwelling inside them!

Fucking… reply or tag this post with what your own personal brand of genderfuckery looks like! I wanna hear it! I wanna give everyone that outlet!

#honestly as much as I despise them… this post is TERF inclusive #so so so many TERFs have genuinely fascinating relationships with gender!#and they also deserve that outlet to fully talk about it #because that’s one of the fastest ways to pull them out of the cult #once TERFs start discussing gender genuinely and openly with each other A LOT of infighting starts #specifically BECAUSE they are compressing very complex views into a stupidly simple framework #and a lot of their frustration with trans people is wondering why the framework works for us but not for them #and lashing out because of that #when the truth is the framework DIDNT work for us which is WHY WE ABANDONED IT #and I don’t think that these TERFS are all secretly trans people! they probably arent!#but the entire point of this post is that gender is way way way more complex than just fitting into two options #even for so called ‘binary cis’ people #that said THE REST OF MY BLOG VERY MUCH IS NOT TERF INCLUSIVE #FUCK OFF

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pcktknife · 27 days

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ok tell me some basic gen 5 facts

victini was designed with the intention of appealing to female players

#also those bunny apple snack thingies #i only had this one on my mind because i was thinking about it the other day but i can have facts sometimes 🔗💥🔗#<- thats supposed to be the guy breaking his chains image #asks #vgpony-mk2 #also no matter how you turn the klink lines body it always appears to have a face. i learned this one today !#frillish wasnt supposed to be a ghost type (love to share that one)#cofagrigus and runerigus share...idk base stats except for attack and somthing else those two are inverted ?? something like that #i dont pay attention to stat details so i dont remember that one as well #also they EAT PEOPLE*. thats just a dex entry but i like to share that tidbit. *theyre said to encase people so its probably not really #eating but like... ur most like not surviving so you might as well say they eat ppl #sorry another cofagrigus one. theyre bipedal and quadrapedal. idk if theres a word that means u do both but they do both.

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doodleodds · 2 years

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Me? Uploading a Halloween comic on November 18th, almost four whole-ass weeks late???? Yeah that’s uh. yup. yeah

Thanks for reading! :) <3

#persona 5 #p5 #akira kurusu #OUGH OH MY GOD ITS FINALLY. DONE. I AM LOSING MY MIND #if you've been following me for long enough: yes! this IS in fact the comic i mentioned that i was making last year.#Fun fact! This is also! The Third Draft of said comic!!! i have redrawn this thing THREE FUCKING TIMES #as a result you may notice that i uh. a) gave up on coloring this thing. no way in HELL am i coloring 30 pages. im not...strong enough #you will settle for simply having monochrome colored panels and you will LIKE IT!!!!! >:OOOOO #and b) gave up on backgrounds! yeah fuck that lmao. i am never drawing people in the monabus again and mementos can kiss my ass!!!!!#i just want to draw my silly little characters & not their environments #and you may also say: sophia. by halloween they are already in Sae's palace. why isn't goro with them and where's haru?#and to that i say shhhh suspend your disbelief. akechi is in mementos carving pumpkins to avoid trick or treaters.#and also haru isn't there because i cannot draw 6+ people in a cramped space yet!!! my art skills are Just Not There Quite Yet :(#so she's staying home and handing out fullsized candy bars to kids. that's where she is while this is all going down #'does akira know it's akechi down there?' :) that's up to you! but i WILL say that I was thinking about Akeshu when i wrote this so. :))))#ANYWAY if you read this far in the tags im so sorry lmao. thanks for sticking around! Hope you had a happy halloween :)#hopefully i won't disappear for long this time. idk im just gonna start uploading other bullshit art in the interim between comics i guess #probably some fire emblem shit. we'll see. we'll see. anyway bye!! till next time!

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formereldestdaughter · 2 months

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ok wait i need to hear more of your thoughts on peeta owning a bakery....

This is one of those rare times where I’m pretty sure this anon isn’t someone I know personally bc I’ve subjected anyone who will listen to my rant about the Peeta Bakery Headcanon. Anyway, you’re gonna regret asking this anon bc there are fucking Layers here.

I know this is probably a controversial take based on the number of fics where I’ve seen it, but I simply do not think that Peeta would open a commercial bakery after Mockingjay!! Like on a metatextual level, I don’t think it really fits with the point of the ending of the series. It actually sort of fascinates me that it’s just such a common headcanon because the ending of Mockingjay is exceedingly vague. I think that vagueness invites us, as readers, to imagine a better world post-revolution. A world where Katniss would feel confident that her children would be safe from injustice, where she’d feel confident that her children would never know want the way she did as a child. A just world. A kinder world. Can a capitalist society ever be just? Is a capitalist society where a disabled teenager has no other means to subsist himself (or feels like there’s no other way he can be a contributing member of his community) really the post-revolution world we dream of? Is that really the best we can imagine?

(This got so insanely long I’m adding a read more lmao)

I get that showing a better world is not always the point of post-mockingjay headcanons/fics. Like there are plenty of really great post-mockingjay fics I’ve seen where, yeah, part of the fic is that society like ISN’T all that different or all that much better. I’ve seen that really well done! Hell, I’ve written them myself! It’s easy to imagine how a lot of aspects of society would not get an overhaul, a lot of the same structural inequalities would continue to exist. One headcanon that really stuck with me (I can’t remember which fic it was from) was that Peeta sells basically mail order baked goods to people on the Capitol, sending them iced cakes and pastries by train, because there are still people who were “fans” of theirs during the Games. And idk this doesn’t actually have much to do with my point lol but I liked it because it’s kind of fucked up and like! Yeah! It makes sense! If he needed money that would be a good way to make it! War often makes people rich, often for horrible reasons, and often it’s people who already have capital in the first place.

Anyway, more about the hypothetical bakery because alright. I bring up the fact that “yeah society not being all that different post-revolution and still being an unjust capitalist hellscape” could be a reason why Peeta re-opens a bakery because that’s actually never the types of fics where I see the bakery headcanon. Fics where Peeta opens a bakery are usually trying to make the exact opposite point. Like. Things are getting better, now he can open a bakery! Look at how much better the world is now, plus he’s got a bakery! Peeta is healing, that’s why he can open a bakery now! And I am so, so sorry to inform everyone who’s never had the grave misfortune of owning a family business, but there is truly nothing further from the truth lmao. Like just putting aside the immense amount of emotional baggage that Peeta has about his family, running a small business is an insane amount of work in any context and being a baker especially is physically grueling and involves early hours (and long hours) that aren’t really the best fit with the multiple ways that Peeta is disabled now. (I could go into this more because I have a lot of thoughts. But I will spare you.). I also think it’s seen throughout the books that Peeta is someone who needs time to pursue creative outlets to process his feelings and someone who values leisure and values quality time with his loved ones. And having grown up in his family’s bakery, I think he’d understand the reality that running a bakery wouldn’t leave much space of those pursuits and wouldn’t leave much space for him to have the things that keep him healthy and stable. I think he’d know that the way he is now— after two Games and the war and unspeakable torture at the hands of a dictator—isn’t compatible with the lifestyle necessary for running a commercial bakery.

And tbh with that in mind, I don’t think he’d push himself to re-open a business (one that would be a constant reminder of his dead family and his complicated relationships with them that got no closure) that would require him to sacrifice his physical and emotional well-being. Like I think he might look into the possibility, I think he might even start trying to open a bakery out of a sense of obligation/duty, maybe harboring some idea that this is who he was supposed to be, who he would've been without the Games, or that it’s this last piece of his family that can live on, or that it’s this last connection to his family so he can’t let it die too. But ultimately, I think any attempt to open a bakery wouldn’t get very far. Maybe he'd start wading into the logistical nightmare that is small business ownership and realize it's not for him (because it's probably also true that as much as him and his brothers were involved in the business, there's almost certainly parts they weren't involved with and didn't see, i.e., filing taxes). Or maybe looking into opening a bakery— how triggering it is, the stress of it— causes a downward spiral. Maybe he hates how much he's worrying everyone by unraveling. Maybe having a breakdown from the stress of just trying to open a bakery makes him realize, yeah, maybe in another life he would have ran his family’s bakery but the way he is now just doesn’t work with running a bakery, not without great sacrifices he's not willing to make. I just can’t see a bakery coming to fruition.

I know a lot of fics include Peeta deciding to reopen a bakery as a big step in his healing or include him rebuilding a bakery as part of his healing process but honestly, I think the opposite would be more true: I think Peeta either trying/failing to open a bakery or ultimately deciding not to open a bakery would be hugely healing for him. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way he is now as a person, his new limitations but also his strengths. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way his life his now and accepting that he likes his life the way it is, that he’s satisfied with his life without needing to own a bakery. I think it would be an important part of him coming to terms with the loss of his family. I think he knows he can never have things back as they were and I don’t think he would try to recreate them, especially because his family’s legacy isn’t a business. I think he’s emotionally intelligent enough and self reflective enough to realize that what mattered to him about the bakery— taking care of others by feeding them, being integrated into his community and being actively involved in it, brightening people’s days with delightful things whether that’s beautiful cakes or hearty food or delicious treats— and the things he learned from his family through the bakery, are things that he can carry on in other meaningful ways.

(Do you regret sending this ask yet, anon? Because if not, you will soon. I’m not done yet. There’s more.)

I wasn’t really sure where to put this next part in what is rapidly becoming an essay because it sort of combines the points about like “what do we imagine a post-mockingjay society to look like” with the practical difficulties of starting this bakery but here’s another thing: do people really think that the Mellarks owned the land the bakery was on?? Like, sure, the merchants are the petit bourgeois of Twelve but I still don’t imagine they really own anything. In a society where houses are assigned to people upon marriage, where property ownership and capital are so closely interconnected with citizenship (as shown by the Plinths who, by having immense capital, are able to leave their District and become citizens of the Capitol) do people really think the Mellarks would be allowed to own the land their bakery is on?? I always imagined it sort of like a tenant farming situation: the Capitol gives them the raw materials for the bakery and in return the bakery give them some absurdly high portion of their profits, or the Capitol sells them a year’s supply of raw materials at a premium on credit and at the end of the year the Mellarks have to use the money they made with those materials to pay it back, except it’s never enough to turn a profit so they always have to buy next year’s materials on credit and the cycle continues.

We (understandably) get a really skewed view of the merchant class through Katniss’s perspective so I can see why people come to the conclusion that his family owned the property and, as the last surviving member, he would’ve inherited it. I’ve seen the inheritance thing in fics a lot or a hand wavey “well Twelve was decimated to no one owns anything anymore so it can be his” or even like an almost sort of reparations type situation where he’s entitled to the land as a surviving refugee of Twelve. But I don’t know. I guess I don’t think it fits with everything else we know about Panem that the Mellarks would’ve owned that land and I think the question of whether the government would’ve let him take ownership of the land post-revolution brings up a lot of issues about the structure of society post-Mockingjay that I find more interesting to explore in other ways, especially when, from an emotional perspective, 1) I find the idea of Peeta not opening a bakery more compelling and 2) I don’t think it really fits his character arc by the end of Mockingjay to reopen a bakery, as I went on about at length above lol.

On the flip side: literally who cares!! Do whatever you want!! Headcanon whatever you want!! I get why people go for the bakery!! It’s fun, it’s wholesome, it’s a built in bakery AU that isn’t even an AU. It doesn’t matter if it’s practical or realistic!! It doesn’t need to be practical or realistic!! It’s fanfic of a dystopian YA series!! My unfortunate affliction is that I grew up in a family that owned a restaurant and that I have multiple degrees in the social sciences so I can’t see the bakery without being like “What about the overheard? What about the start up costs? Who’s spending long nights balancing the books? Is Peeta covering shifts when an employee calls in sick? Is Peeta the sole person working there until the bakery is open long enough (often a year or more) to start turning a profit? How does that sleep schedule work with his nightmares? How does that work with Katniss’s nightmares? What happens when he has an episode and suddenly needs to take the day off before he has any employees? Does the bakery just remain closed for the day? Can the profit margins withstand regular unexpected closures? Can the supplies withstand regular unexpected closures?” And if the answer is “Elliott none of those things matter he’s not doing the bakery because he needs the money but because he wants to”, then my question is why does he want to? Does he not get the same sort of satisfaction out of feeding his loved ones? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would rather give away baked goods than sell them?? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would prefer to make cakes for people’s special occasions upon and then when they insist on paying him for it, he only lets them “pay for the ingredients” which actually cost significantly more than he says they did??

So yeah my point is that it’s a matter of personal taste! It doesn’t fit the way I see the series but that doesn’t mean it’s like wrong, I’m not an authority on Peeta lmao.

It’s also a matter of personal taste in the sense that I find the themes that most resonate with me at the end of Mockingjay (and the end of Peeta’s arc specifically) more interesting to explore in other ways. Grief, living with loss, relearning yourself, finding hope, figuring out your place in a dramatically different world when you don’t even know who you are anymore, healing, building a new life after such complete and total destruction of your old life— those are all things I find compelling about the end of Mockingjay but for me the bakery isn’t the most compelling way to explore them.

Not to say I find the concept of the bakery totally uninteresting. I have this fic about Johanna that I’ll probably never finish where the point sort of is that, yeah, her life really isn’t all that much better after the war. It’s been years at this point and she’s still miserable and she doesn’t know how to be a person but by the end she’s trying to figure it out. And towards the end, Peeta tells her that he’s spent years sort of passively, half-heartedly trying to figure out how to inherit the land his family’s bakery was on, only to find out it was never theirs in the first place. They’d been renting it the whole time and he’d never even known as a kid. So he sort of passively, half-heartedly went on another wild goose chase to find the owner and now, finally, after years of writing to various government agencies and being sent in circles and things being barely functional, he’s managed to track down the owner. Now it’s owned by the daughter of the man who owned it when he was a kid because the original owner (who was likely up to some sketchy war crime shit) died during the war and she inherited it (the irony…). He got in contact with her and asked how much it would take for her to sell it and she told him she’s not interested in selling but in light of the situation, in light of the fact that he’d have to build a new building in order to operate a bakery, that she’d cut him a deal— she’d only require 50% of the bakery’s profits as rent instead of the 80% his family used to pay. And of course Johanna is outraged, that’s not right, the owner shouldn’t be allowed to do that, they should do something about it, they should fight back. And Peeta is like. Not interested. He was actually sort of relieved that opening wasn’t very feasible. Getting the answer was a lightbulb moment where he saw that over the years of trying to look into this, he’s built a life that he likes— one where he’s stable, where his loved ones are stable, where he’s cared for and can care for others— and he doesn’t really want to change it drastically by opening a bakery anyway. He just needed an answer, one way or another, before he could get some closure and move on. (And the point of the conversation is Johanna is having her own lightbulb moment that it’s okay to move on, it’s okay to change, it’s not a betrayal of the people and things she’s lost but that’s not my point here!!).

But anyway. That’s obviously not about running the bakery— it’s about the choice to not run one.

Anyway!! Anyway… are you satisfied anon? Is this what you wanted?

Lastly, here is my most important qualm with the bakery headcanon: must Peeta be gainfully employed? Is it not enough for him to be Katniss’s boytoy? Can’t he just paint and garden and bake and hang out with his girlfriend all day? Is that really too much to ask?

#peeta mellark #thg #the hunger games #the hunger games meta #anyway wow this got so long and I literally read it through one (1) time so uhhh sorry if this makes no sense!!#as I was doing my one read through and realized that one of my other thoughts on this is that yeah I can much more easily see the #headcanon that peeta like sells baked goods (probably at cost with no profit) out of his kitchen because that’s much more flexible #and I think that would work a lot better with what like I guess I’d call his psychiatric disability post mockingjay #and how he’d certainly want to take care of Katniss too #like that sort of flexibility makes a lot more sense for him and it’s like. if he doesn’t bake for a few days or however long then it’s fin #it’s not a formal brick and mortar business #it’s just something he’s doing because it’s a way to be involved with people and a way to do something he’s passionate about #without there being waste and while covering some of the costs #and he doesn’t have to like keep books or do payroll or any of the things I can’t see him being very passionate about #as far as like bakery management goes Lmao he can just bake!!#but then I started getting into this whole thing about how that quote-unquote ‘running a business’ like that (informally from your house)#is actually a really common practice for people living in poverty so probably something that Katniss and peeta would’ve been familiar wirh #anyway and then this whole rant about how the emphasis on the brick and mortar bakery often goes hand in hand with #this widespread fandom thing of having a fundamental misunderstanding of how rural poverty works and what it looks like #but then I was too deep into it and said you know what? never mind! and deleted it lmao

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