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lollily · 2 years

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Tw: strong language, suggestive, insensitive jokes ftw.

It was supposed to be a boys being stupid and gay disaster but it also somehow ended up with a comfort Kazutora arc. Kinda very long.

Toman founding members gc :

'We bussin bussin'

Mikey: If they made a cartoon show on kangaroos what would the kid kangaroos's names be?

Takashi: *Kangaroos'

Mikey: Like Joey 1, Joey 2, Joey 3? Or is everyone just 'joey'?

Mikey: or normal individual names like Candice, Edward, Stacy?

Kazutora: okay first of all, whoever names their child 'Edward' sure hates that child. That's such an irksome name.

Kazutora: EdWarD. Wow, pretentious.

Edward: are you doing this on purpose? Am I not your friend?

Kazutora: :)

Kazutora: some friend you are not even knowing how to spell my name

Edward: But IK IT NOW!!

Edward: Chifuyu taught me a lot other things too. I'm not as dumb as I was.

Kazutora: "a lot other things" 🤨

Kazutora: why are you gay?

Edward: who says I'm gay?

ken: you are gay.

Takashi: you are gay.

Haruki: you are gay.

Kazutora: you are gay.

Mikey: you are gay.

Edward: wow

Haruki: go on. Say, "et tu brute?"

Takashi: like you didn't stab yourself before.

Edward: did I do something to you guys?? Why are all of you coming at me today????

Edward: I'm very uncomfortable with the energy we've created in the studio today.

Kazutora: oh I love this energy

Mikey: anywhos, back to my question

Takashi: it depends ig.

Takashi: What would you like to name them?

Mikey: didn't think this far

Ken: if Shaun the sheep can have names for every sheep this little Kangaroo show of yours can too

Mikey: why Joey tho?

Mikey: why did scientists decide to name baby kangaroos Joey??

Haruki:

Mikey: interesting....

Kazutora: dude you're acting very strange

Kazutora: in light of that, I want whatever you're on

ken: Stop saying he's on drugs. He's not on drugs.

ken: you're not on drugs, right Mikey?

Mikey: nah

Mikey: but I did get a good idea

*Mikey changed 6 names*

Joey: this is so not gonna be good

Joey: wha-

Joey: lmaoooo

Joey: MIKEY??????

Joey: what have you done pah

Joey: so it's my fault?!?

Joey: jfc make it stop I'm getting a fucking seizure

Joey: :D

Joey: so no explanation?

Joey: we're little animals

Joey: great.

Joey: he's definitely on something

Joey: yeah I am and it's called carbon dioxide

Joey: WHAT???????

Joey: idk Google said it was a stress hormone or something

Joey: listen. Don't go looking up shit even we don't have the slightest fucking clue about.

Joey: it just proves we're bunch of dumbasses

Joey: nah Baji leads us in that

Joey: again?!?!

Joey: that's it I'm done with you guys

Joey: whatever

Joey: knife kink

Joey: idk why it started but I think we should have weekly Baji slander day

*Joey has gone offline*

Joey: umm so anyways,

Joey: Mikey, I see what you did with our names but my character colour is wrong.

Joey: character colour?

*Joey is online*

Joey: oh yeah now that you mention it mine's dark blue. Light blue is Chifuyu's.

Joey: sorry guys Tumblr has only these colours :/

Joey: WHAT?!??

Joey: oh aren't you happy first division captain?

Joey: getting your little cheerleader's colour?

Joey: oh are you jealous that I have our dear vice-captain all to myself?

Joey: 😐

Joey: he's not denying it-

Joey: shhhhh

Joey: grab the popcorn pah

Joey: you guys shouldn't be doing this to your own friends

Joey: shhhhh ken-chin

Joey: they can just go to dms yk

Joey: it's Baji and Tora. Do you think they know common courtesy when it comes to this?

Joey: we're right here yk

Joey: and as I was saying,, ahem,,

Joey: dw tora he admires me the most and thinks I'm the coolest but he thinks good of you too ig

Joey: oh please I don't want to get in between your gay asses.

Joey: ok now I'm actually concerned

Joey: do you feel like you're getting "in between" us?

Joey: ewww I'm not discussing "feelings" with you or in fact with anyone.

Joey: no. I think we should. Chifuyu and me are good friends and I'll admit we've grown closer after the bloody halloween incident but you're still my best friend okay. I've noticed you tensing around him, both of you are still uncomfortable around eo but he doesn't hate you... I think.

Joey: he hates me. He does. You don't know that do you? Did you ask him if he hates me or not? I deserve it actually. You call me your bestfriend but who was the one who rushed to your aid when you were hurt? He's a nice person. He cares for you and is loved by all. I on the other hand have only caused my friends and Toman problem. I have been Impulsive, selfish, stupid. Ik Toman has still not accepted me. Mikey says he forgives me but he must hate me too right? You all have been nice to me, it's been 2 years since bloody halloween, Shinichiro-kun is out of the hospital now, I've come back from jail, but.. it still hurts yk. I can't forgive myself. For everything.

Joey: now that I've said all that

Joey: don't contact me for the next thousand years bye.

Joey: can I?

Joey: yeah

Joey: it'll take time Tora. Healing takes time. We don't blame you nor hate you. But just words are probably not enough, and maybe you are right about Toman not having completely accepted you, but we're all here and as we spend time together new memories will overwrite old scars.

Joey: omg the last part was cool mikey!!

Joey: ifkr!! Takemitchy said that to me and I was like oMG I just wanted to envelope him in a bone crushing hug yk.

Joey: I didn't say you could simp :|

Joey: but yeah Tora, that's the point. Chifuyu is trying, really. Ik everything will work out eventually so I'm not gonna be pushy about it!

Joey: I definitely won't lock you two up in my room together with video games and Peyoung yakisoba expecting you to get all buddy buddy when I open the door 24hrs later.

Joey: that's very specific... should I be concerned?

Joey: also, Tora, you shouldn't worry. I'm here! We're all here! We have a lot of trouble to create in the future so we should forget about the old troubles we caused.

Joey: Say! We should totally go shopping rn! LIKE RN!!

Joey: just the two of you?

Joey: yeah it's our thing yk

Joey: exactly why I worry

Joey: I say we should all hang out

Joey: does that mean it's your treat?

Joey: I never said that-

Joey: ofc it is!

Joey: HEY!

Joey: ....fine ig.

Joey: lol Draken is soft for Mikey

Joey: AM NOT!

Joey: he's my babysitter so that's a given

Joey: butttt he's softer when it comes to Mitsuya yk

Joey: when have you ever seen that??😐🤨

Joey: I keep a list. Do you want the chronological order or the alphabetical?

Joey: I-

Joey: Gay.

Joey: every single one of you.

Joey: as much as I would like to elaborate on all my toman ships all that talk about hanging out got me hungry. WHEN ARE WE MEETING UPPPPP??????

Joey: wait 'ships' ?

Joey: I'm hungry we can do that laterrr

Joey: ken-chin you'll come to pick me up right?

Joey: wait I need to know if you ship me with fuyu or tora???

Joey: excuseme?

Joey: why not both? ;)

Joey: POLYMORPHISM?????

Joey: Baji istfg stop SAYING THE WRONG WORDS IT'S TWICE IN A ROW NOW!

Joey: It was Mikey back then tho????

Joey: oh- right

Joey: Sorry, force of habit.

Joey: what are 'ships'? Why do I have a bad feeling about it?

Joey: ohh ken-chin~

Joey: I will tell you all about it at our hang out ~

Joey: Don't. Ever. Do. That. "~" Thing. With. Me.

Joey: 😬🥺

Joey: so we're meeting up rn?

Joey: YUPPPP

Joey: EVERYONE HURRY UP!!!

*everyone has gone offline*

*Joey is online*

*Joey changed the gc name from 'We bussin bussin' to 'little kangaroo show'*

The stress hormone is 'chromogranin A' btw. Don't ask me anymore than that, "Rikei ga koi ni ochita no de shoumei shitemita" taught it to me.

Don't ask me how *wildly gestures at this mess of a work* happened either

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers groupchat #tokyo revengers incorrect quotes #tokyo revengers fanfiction #tokyo revengers chatfic #sano manjiro/mikey #Mikey #draken #ken ryuguji #Baji keisuke #Hanemiya Kazutora #pah chin #haruki hayashida #mitsuya takashi #Tokyo revengers spoilers #It had been in my drafts for so long I have no idea what happened to it by the time I completed #toman #toman founding members

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lancearcherinrippedjeans · 3 years

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Eternity - Chapter 6

***********

And we are BACK folks! Did you guys miss us?

Shoutout to @adriii-omega cause she wrote MOST of this chapter while Parker, (me, lancearcherinrippedjeans) has school and was sick!

***********

Starring - The MAGNIFICENT OC’s, Kenny Omega, Ricky Starks, The Best Friends, Private Party, Excalibur, Taz, Brian Cage, The Young Bucks and Tony Khan

Word Count - 6,792

Category - Fluff, tiniest bits of angst, comedy

6/?

Summary - The tournament is finally starting, how will it go with Nova on commentary?

Warning - Cussing, drinking, slight possesivness

Other author’s notes - Private Party are the STARS of this chapter, and this might look a little weird cause it was posted on mobile, also, follow @adriii-omega

***********

“First you leave me out of the tournament, and now you want me to go out on TV and play commentator?” Nova huffed, as she tried her best not to upset her boss; Tony Khan. “I know you’re not happy about being excluded , but I promise we have plans for you to do big things here in AEW,” he stood in front of her to block her path, “Plus, it’s only Youtube.” Nova let out a long sigh, “For how long?”

“Just until you become a fan favorite, you know like…” Tony stopped mid-sentence, trying to rethink his words. “Like Sawyer and Veronica?” Nova asked, already annoyed. “The fans are going to love you, I promise,” Tony grabbed the cream-colored folder off his desk and handed it to Nova, “This is the match card for tonight. Excalibur should have more info on all of the competitors, but you should know most of them.”

“You could just say Sawyer, Veronica, and Ricky. I promise you won’t hurt my feelings,” Nova joked, heading for the door, “Thank you Tony, but I hope this isn’t a waste of my time.” She shut the door, opening up the folder, and looking over the card for tonight.

She smiled to herself, looking at her friend’s names for the first round of the tournament. A long shadow caught her eye, causing her to look up and seeing Team Taz walking right her way. She gave a small wave to Ricky, making him turn all his attention that was on Taz onto her.

Ricky jogged over, “What weird stuff do they got you doing this week?”

Nova smirked, looking at Taz who was already annoyed they had to stop, “Well, I’m gonna be on commentary tonight!” She announced, plastering on a smile she definitely didn’t have in Tony’s office. “Does that mean you’ll be out there for my match?” his brows perked up in anticipation, “I’ll have the best seat in the house.” she laughed. Brian smiled as Ricky planted a kiss onto Nova’s cheek. Taz cleared his throat loudly, “Well if you guys are done making goo-goo eyes at each other, we gotta get going.” he pointed at his watch symbolizing the time.

“What are you talking about? The show doesn’t start for another two hours?” Cage spoke up from behind them. Nova and Ricky let out a small chuckle at Taz’s new expression. He stood with his mouth agape, darting his eyes at the FTW champion, “Thanks, Brian for correcting me,” he said through gritted teeth. “Is there anyone else that would like to make me look like a complete idiot?” He said through a fake smile. Nova raised her hand, “If it makes you feel better…I’m not on the card tonight,” Taz gave her an obvious expression. “Why would you be-”

“Instead I’ll be sitting next to you on commentary!” She gave him a bright smile, as his smirk disappeared. “The-the whole show…?”

“All twenty-four matches!”

“Oh HELL NO!! AYO TONY!?” Taz angrily marched down the hallway leaving Cage, Starks, and Nova in a laughing fit. “I can’t believe you,” Ricky said through laughs. “I don’t think I've ever seen him that mad.” Cage jokes, “Or run that fast.” He added, causing them to continue their laughter. “Poor Tony.” Ricky pointed, as an annoyed Tony Khan tried to reason with a loud mouth Taz. “I’m going to make sure he doesn’t get fired, I’ll catch up with you guys later.” He said while jogging down the hall. Ricky finally caught his breath and held his hand out. “Come on, I want to spend time together before you and Taz kill each other.” he smiled, making her giggle. “I’m looking forward to it, maybe I can get him to… hate me less?” Ricky chuckled before placing a kiss on her forehead, “You’re lucky Excalibur will be out there.”

“And making her way to commentary… The SuperNova Jay!” Justin Roberts introduced, as the small audience of professional wrestlers cheered. “It’s a pleasure to be able to sit next to you,” Excalibur started, “You haven’t even said anything and you’re already better than Taz!”

“Shut up Excalibur,” Taz grunted.

Nova smoothed out her dress before taking her seat. “I’m so happy to be here.” She gave a smile as the camera was on her. “It’s been such an amazing few weeks for you already here in AEW, first you officially signed with All Elite Wrestling, and now two of your closest friends; Veronica and Sawyer are competing tonight for a chance to challenge Hikaru Shida for the AEW women’s championship.” Nova nodded, as Excalibur opened his mouth to ask a question, but was cut off, “I have a question for you Nova,” Taz joined in, “How does it feel that your own BEST FRIENDS are worthy enough of participating in this tournament, and you are…out sitting on the sidelines?” Taz smirked, as he saw Nova bite the inside of her cheek. Excalibur looked between them trying his best to move forward. Luckily Sawyer’s theme music began to play causing the tension to be lifted.

It was towards the middle of the match when Sawyer and Madi were tied up in the corner. “I’m going to try an arm drag-” Sawyer whispered, so only she could hear it. “No, you aren’t. I am not letting you look stronger than me,” Madi attempted to kick Sawyer in the stomach, but failed, as she lost her balance. Taz face planted himself, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more unfocused wrestler than Wrenkowski.” He complained as they slightly laughed, “Thank god Sawyer is one of the most professional women wrestlers there is,” Nova started, “You see I’ve known both of these females for quite a long time and this rivalry trails way further back than you would think.”

“Is that so…please tell us more,” Excalibur asked with interest. Nova began to speak but instead looked over and saw Taz staring at her with a half-smile. “Well, for starters Madi had ALWAYS been jealous of Sawyer. Though unfortunately, she was the champion at the time, Sawyer always got all of the attention, and that’s something Madi always wants.” They both nodded understanding, shortly later hearing the bell ring.

“Here is your winner: Sawyer Holden!” Justin’s voice echoed throughout the arena. She slowly stood up, allowing her hand to be raised by Aubrey Edwards. Nova sent an evil grin to Madi Wrenkowski as she clenched her neck from the Canadian Destroyer that was given to her. She rolled her eyes before stomping off through the tunnel. Veronica sat with the Young Bucks at the monitor watching everything go down. Nick let out a sigh, as Madi walked past them knocking over a few trash cans in frustration. “God, she’s so annoying,” he commented, making Veronica laugh. “Good thing you don’t have to go against her,” Matt chimed in, “I wouldn’t be able to take it.” They nodded in agreement just as Sawyer made her way back. She sent a small smile their way earning a thumbs up from Matt. “Are you guys still upset with each other?” he nudged Veronica, as she looked over and saw Sawyer in deep conversation with a group of wrestlers. “No, we’re cool.” She half lied. The brothers gave each a look, knowing something was off.

“Hey have you guys seen Kenny?” she spoke up, trying to get the conversation changed from her and Sawyer. Nick sighed, “He’s getting ready for his match with Sonny tonight since Janela was taken out.” She mouthed an “O” before grabbing her phone and opening the messaging app.

Is everything alright? Nick just told me Joey is out.

The next match had started, and Penelope Ford was going against Allie. Shortly later her phone buzzed.

Kenny: Everything is fine. Where are you at??

Sitting next to the Bucks, my match is coming up soon.

Kenny: I'm on my way over there, see you in a bit.

A smile crept up onto Veronica’s face as she began to watch the match. On the other side of the hall, Sawyer stood next to her friend: Chuck Taylor.

“I don’t know man,” she whined, “I don’t think she even wants to look at me.” Chuck rolled his eyes before placing both hands on her shoulders. “SAWYER. GO. ASK. HER.” He gave her a push before leaning against the wall. Everything was headed smoothly, as she made her way next to where Veronica was sitting…

“Hey V!” she piped, causing The Young Bucks to give her a hard stare. Veronica smiled as she leaned back into her chair, “I was wondering after the show tonight we could go to our favorite restaurant. Just us three - like old times.”

A voice cleared their throat from behind making Sawyer turn around. A perplexed Kenny Omega looked over at the group. “Don’t mind me. I just came to see my GIRLFRIEND.” He shot a look at Sawyer, before walking behind Veronica’s chair, “You were saying?” he smirked. Sawyer’s face grew with anger before she turned on her heels, “Just forget about it.” she mumbled. Chuck watched in disgust as Kenny began to laugh. Veronica bit her tongue until she heard the bell ring meaning her match was soon. “Sawyer, wait,” she called out, causing everyone to look at her. “I’ll be there. Meet me in the parking lot at 9?” she suggested. Sawyer held back her stun expression before nodding and walking off with Chuck as he made an “L” gesture with his finger and pointed at Omega.

The Bucks looked between the two, “We’re going to head back to the locker room now, we’ll see you guys later.” Nick scratched the back of his neck, as Matt gave them both a tight lip smile and followed his brother. Penelope Ford came back with enthusiasm since she would be advancing to the semi-finals against Sawyer. She gave a quick hug to Veronica, congratulated her, and went to celebrate with her fiancé. Veronica began to walk towards the tunnels as she noticed her opponent, Serena Deeb, was warming up.

“Are we going to talk about it?” Kenny spoke up, making her stop in her tracks.

“Is there really anything to talk about? I'm going to get dinner. That’s it.”

“But seriously? With…HER?” he scoffed, “When will you finally see she is no good?” Veronica turned around walking slowly towards her boyfriend, “Babe, you don’t understand how Sawyer and I’s friendship works…we’re fine.”

“I don’t buy it. I am trying to protect you. I am trying to protect US.” he ran his hands through his hair, “Kenny….” “She doesn’t like me, Veronica! She’s trying to break us up because she thinks you deserve better,” He stopped his rant, before giving a sly laugh, “But honestly…it doesn’t get better than me.” He clicked his tongue, before lifting her chin, and planting a soft kiss on her lips. “I love you, don’t ever forget that.”

Back out at the commentary table, Excalibur and Nova went over some of the other matches, while Taz stayed rather quiet compared to how he usually is. “And the main event for this evening, Veronica Rodriguez vs Serena Deeb in a semi-final qualifying match for the AEW Women’s championship tournament,” Nova announced happily, looking between the monitor and the stage for what was coming next.

Ricky Starks’ theme came blasting out the sound system of Daily’s Place, and both Nova and Taz snapped their heads towards the tunnel. Ricky walked out, playing air guitar and looking over at commentary. “Ricky Starks is one of the most charismatic and talented wrestlers there is now,” Taz started, hyping up his client, “Just look! Look at the physique!”

Nova shook her head, “I couldn’t agree more, Taz.” She stumbled, too busy watching Ricky to even get her words out.

Ricky looked towards the commentary table, Taz yelled some stuff at him, before Ricky looked directly at Nova. He winked, then blew her a kiss, looking back at the ring and climbing in to start his match.

“AYO STARKS!” Taz yelled, even though Ricky didn’t look over, “THAT WAS UNPROFESSIONAL!” Nova giggled to herself, looking down at the monitor to watch her man wrestle. Excalibur looked at Taz, who was still frustrated, before looking back at Nova, “Hey Nova you look a little red there? Everything alright?”

Nova smiled, Taz glared, “Shut up Excalibur!” They both shouted in unison, in two completely different tones.

Nova knew she couldn’t be like this the whole match. If she couldn’t wrestle, this was one of the ways to showcase herself, she couldn’t mess it up.

Taz and Excalibur went on about the match and each opponent, when she spoke up, “I think everyone can agree that something changed once Ricky stepped into AEW. I mean there isn’t a star like him. He moves quickly, he’s entertaining, his theme is so catchy, honestly Taz, I think you hit the jackpot with this one,” Nova smiled at him, he opened his mouth to speak when she continued, “I mean, between Ricky and Cage, they’re on fire. Just imagine them without you.”

Excalibur tried to hold in his laughter, Taz snapped his head over at Nova, “Now hold on just a second-” The bell rang, interrupting Taz. “Here is your winner: Ricky Starks!”

Nova smiled proudly at Ricky, as he made his way back to the tunnel. He gave her one last wink, before turning around, barely even looking at Taz. “While that match was very entertaining, let’s move onto our next matchup of the night, Nyla Rose vs Abadon!” Excalibur announced, straightening his suit.

The match went quickly, Nyla Rose would face whoever wins against Veronica and Serena. The camera was shot at the commentary table, and the three looked up. Nova smiled at the camera, listening to Excalibur announce the rest of the week’s matches. “And tomorrow night, make sure to catch Wardlow and Hangman in the semi-finals for an opportunity at the AEW World Championship.” Nova looked away from Excalibur and to the camera, clearing her voice, “And make sure you don’t miss Being The Elite on Monday, the best Youtube comedy show,” Nova paused, “But how about our main event tonight? I don’t know about you guys but I am bouncing off the walls excited.”

Excalibur smiled, “I’ve been waiting for this match before the night even started.” Veronica’s theme music played, she walked out, looking around the small crowd of people before looking over to Nova. “Hey girl! That’s my best friend! Kick some ass!” Veronica smiled, even more hyped up after the words from Nova.

“Now unlike Sawyer, no offense bestie, Veronica has held so many championships. She beat both of us in a title match a few years ago.” Nova mentioned, as Veronica set her shades down.

“Now Nova I have to ask, how do you think this match will end,” Excalibur looked over to her, “While Veronica is very strong and could make anyone tap...Serena Deeb is also-” “Yeah yeah she’s a yoga instructor, look at her record. Veronica is one of the best there is now. I don’t think we should underestimate her, Excalibur,” Taz interrupted, looking at the monitor to watch the match. “Took the words right out of my mouth.” Nova mumbled, focusing on the action in the ring.

Veronica finally got the upperhand, pulling Serena into a submission move. Deeb tapped on the mat, and Veronica stood, not able to hold back the smile on her face. She let Bryce Remsburg raise her hand, winking into the main camera.

“That main event was off the charts. I can’t wait for next week.” Nova said. “Yes, but first you have to catch AEW Dynamite tomorrow night on TNT,” Excalibur announced, looking to Nova to take it away, “Of course, one of the best parts of the week, I can’t wait to be back next week for commentary everyone, goodnight!”

The crew called out that the cameras were off, and Nova let go of a giant breath. “That was outstanding for your first time,” Excalibur complimented, “Can’t wait for next week.” He shook her hand before leaving the table, Nova being only with Taz. She looked over at him nervously, before he stood up, holding out his hand, “Not bad, kid. You’ll do just fine these next few weeks.” Nova shook his hand, smiling out of disbelief as he walked away.

Time Skip

The girls all laughed as they took a seat at their table. “You made Madi look like she could wrestle,” Nova insulted as Veronica nodded. “I think it may have been her best match yet.” The waiter placed a basket of rolls on the table mentioning he would be back shortly to take their orders. Sawyer reached in and took a bite. “Your match with Serena was really exciting , a couple of the wrestlers gathered around to watch. It was great.” Veronica smiled, “Thank you, it means a lot…but let's talk about Ricky blowing that kiss to Nova. You guys must be serious.” She wooed, as Nova rolled her eyes. “Taz was totally cock blocking though,” Sawyer added, making them burst out in laughter. Veronica’s phone started going off on the table making her sigh. She set the phone on silent and placed it in her purse.

“What does he want now?” Nova groaned. “Probably wanting to know her exact location this time,” Sawyer mumbled as she placed another roll in her hands. Veronica let out a small chuckle, having it fade quickly as she began to play with her fingers. “He’s just worried about me,” she started. “I can’t blame him. It can be a bit much at times, but he loves-”

“Eck, don’t use that word. I can’t believe you almost said that word.” Sawyer rambled. “You ain’t use it for anyone else, don’t start now.” Veronica opened her mouth to argue but was cut off as the waiter arrived putting the conversation aside for the moment. Once the waiter left, Nova snapped her head over to Sawyer, “But I must ask you, Sawyer, what’s going on with you and Mr. Chuck Taylor?”

Sawyer almost spit out the very expensive champagne, “What?”

“Oh c’mon. If you and Wardlow aren’t together, there has to be something between you and Chuck,” Veronica hinted, Sawyer just shook her head, “No way. No way! He and I are just best friends. And he would’ve tried already.”

Veronica and Nova exchanged a sly look, they knew Sawyer was oblivious, but for now, they planned to focus on the appetizer.

For the most part - the dinner went great. There were no more topics about Kenny (who seemed to be the main problem), and they all ate until they were stuffed, not having to worry about the bill at the end.

“Well if it isn’t the three most beautiful ladies in AEW.” A voice shouted through the hotel lobby. Isiah Kassidy and Marq Quen danced their way over with their million-dollar smiles glowing. “What y'all been up to?” Veronica grinned. Marq placed his arm around Nova causing her to flick it off.

“Just came back from training with Matt, nothing too exciting.” Isiah crossed his arms, leaning on the nearest wall. “You started freaking out didn’t you?” Sawyer questioned.

“Just a little bit.” Kassidy giggled as he started cheering. “It was Matt HARDY. Can you blame me?” He began to do the famous Hardy Boy dance before remembering he was in public and cleared his throat. “Anyways, we came to see if you guys wanted to do something tonight. We barely had the chance to hang out yet.”

“Sure why not? We have nothing better else to do.” Nova shrugged. “I’m cool with it, as long as Veronica is too,” Sawyer adds. The thought of having a good night with some of her friends fogged her memory, as she spoke before she got the chance to think, “Come over in about thirty minutes.”

Nova had walked to the nearest grocery store to gather a couple of items before Marq and Isiah would be coming over. “I feel like this night could go incredibly wrong if we’re not careful.” Sawyer brought it up. “How so?” Veronica laughed. “Just imagine, all of us? DRUNK? That sets up for disaster already.” Her attention was taken off of Sawyer when her phone began to ring again. She almost answered, before looking at the caller ID. She stared at it for a bit, before a pillow was flung at her.

“Veronica? Are you even listening to me?”

“No, sorry. Kenny was calling-” She looked back at Sawyer who sat with a blank expression. “Don’t look at me like that! I didn’t even answer.”

“But did you want to?” Sawyer crossed her arms. “Maybe...I just haven’t talked to him since the show, it’s killing me.”

Sawyer bit back her words, as her friend’s facial expression read it was affecting her. “And I know you guys aren’t fond of each other, but I supported you and Wardlow.” she stopped as she let out a breath, “He’s different Sawyer.”

“Wardlow and I are back together.” She blurted, but quickly covered her mouth as Veronica’s neck snapped. “YOU GUYS ARE WHAT?” she yelped. Sawyer secretly thanked herself for blabbing, to avoid another argument. “Shush! It’s not that big of a deal,” she laughed. “We just didn’t want to tell anyone yet.” Veronica nodded understandingly, “So, now I’m just ‘someone’? That’s cool.”

“Oh no , I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I’m kidding, I’m not one to talk about keeping secrets. I’m happy for you.” She smiled, as the door flew open. “Your favorite party people are here!” Marq exclaimed as Isiah followed in after with BOTTLES of alcohol. A couple seconds later a panting Nova stood in the doorway. “You guys saw me struggling. WHY DID YOU NOT HELP ME?!” She dropped the bags and flopped on the couch.

“I was holding my children.” Kassidy gasped as he raised his beverage in the air. “That was payback for flicking my arm,” Marq moved next to her and placed his hand on her knee. “But how about I make it up to you?” he sent her a wink as Veronica and Sawyer hid back their laughs.

“THAT'S MY BOY!” Kassidy yelped as he poured his first shot. Nova groaned in response, getting up from her seat and popping a cork on a wine bottle, “It’s going to be a long night.”

The Next Morning

A loud siren blasted through the room, Veronica shifted around in her sleep noticing her bed has been replaced with something way more uncomfortable. A snore caused her to jump, instantly regretting it as the effects of last night began to hit. She felt around, finding she was passed out in a bathtub. Veronica’s face flashed with confusion and was about to call out until she saw a slumped Isiah Kassidy on the toilet. “Zay?” she squinted as he began to stir. “Wake up!” she grabbed the nearest thing next to her, a bar of soap, and flung it at him. “AGH-” He shouted, waking up from his slumber. “What the hell…WHERE ARE MY PANTS?” he looked down in fear until a grin popped up. “Are you… fully clothed?” he peeked in the tub and sighed as, unlike him, was still in her nightclothes. “Damn, I thought I got some.” he snapped his fingers in disbelief. “How are you thinking of sex right now?

“Because I could have pounded that ass, but you wanted to be loyal, and have no fun. Mama ain’t raise no snitch.” He raised his hands in defense, “Plus this is normal. I party every night, and all night. Is this your first time drinking?” He asked in a mocking tone. He held his hand out to help lift her, accepting that she groaned as the room started spinning. Her arm rested around him, as he made her way to her bed. “Did you want me to grab your phone, I’m pretty sure I saw it somewhere in the living room-”

“NO.” she yelled startling them, “It’s fine where it is.” The events of last night began to become less of a blur. Multiple shots, loud ass music, and even more calling and texts from Kenny. At one point, she couldn’t take it anymore and used her phone as target practice as she lunged it anywhere she could. They reached the room and saw Nova spread out on both beds that had been pushed together, and Sawyer hanging upside down on the armchair. “Ah that’s right, Marq did a 450 splash off the dresser. It’s all coming back now.” They both nodded and exited the room. “Here, you sit here, I'll get you something.” He searched through the cabinets, sighing when nothing was found. Sawyer soon stumbled in and found her way next to Veronica on the couch. “I am never drinking with them again.” She leaned her head on her friend’s shoulder. “They’re too advanced for us.”

“We’re on a different level.” A voice boasted behind the couch making the two jump. “MARQ? WHY ARE YOU BEHIND THE COUCH?” Sawyer shrieked. He shrugged as he began to rub his head. “So, you guys have absolutely nothing- AHH MARQ?!” Isiah threw the cup of water and held his chest. “You damn near killed me.” he breathed out. Sawyer groaned, “You just spilled water on our floor!”

“Could you guys be any louder-” Nova started, but wasn’t able to finish as she glided down the hall. Isiah raised his hand to his mouth to stop the laughter from slipping out. “Please tell me this is water…”

“This Ain’t Water.” They said in unison, before bursting out in laughter. Veronica went to gather her friend, after for a fact, reassuring her it actually was just water. “As I was saying, before Marq scared some of the skin color off of me, you guys don’t own shit. If y'all planned to get wasted you should have packed some aspirins.” He suggested, earning an ear thump from Sawyer. “We didn’t plan to end up like this. You guys got us drunk.” Marq nodded, “She’s not wrong.”

“Is there anyone that could go pick something up?” Nova suggested, before feeling more effects as she rushed to the nearest bathroom. “I’m sure Kenny could-”

“Nope, I got Trent and Chuck on the way. We don’t need anyone else.” Sawyer blurted out, quickly sending a text to the Best Friends. Veronica's lips straightened, as she slowly backed out of the living room, and into the kitchen. A sigh escaped her lips, as she realized having to explain to her boyfriend why she had been so distant wasn’t going to be anything she was looking forward to.

The door opened, and Trent and Chuck both rushed to Sawyer’s side. “We came as soon as we could, I hope you like sushi.” They shoved the bag of food onto her lap, before taking out their drug store bag filled with a couple of pills. “Oh, you didn’t have to bring us food-”

“Speak for yourself,” Kassidy and Quen snatched the box out of her grasp, and began to pick at it. She threw her hands up in annoyance before Chuck placed his hand on her forehead. “Have you thrown up yet?” He questioned. “Not yet,” she answered, as she stared at him carefully. “Oh you will.” he sent her a smile, and for a moment she felt warmth until he stopped.

“Hey are the guys here with the aspirins…oh hey.” She stopped herself, as she made contact with them. “I’m Veronica, it’s nice to finally be able to meet you.” Slowly walking over, she reached for the bag from Chuck who pulled his hand back.

“So, you’re the famous Veronica Rodriguez....” Trent started, “I got to say Kenny chose well.” Chuck smirked, as Trent walked up to her. “I guess you’re too far up his ass, to realize you’re in for a load of trouble though.” She was taken aback until Trent began again. “I don’t see you around backstage a lot, Sawyer claims it’s because you’re always hanging out with the EVP’s. I bet if you suck them off hard enough, you could get lucky and get a title shot.”

Her fist clenched, but they held each other's stare until a cough from Kassidy broke them up. “Well, this is getting exciting. We got a bed in the back if ya’ll want to settle your differences there.” Sawyer face-planted herself, before grabbing the bag from Chuck and walking to the kitchen. Trent shortly followed shoulder bumping her, and letting out a small laugh. “It was nice meeting you.” Chuck spat at her, before making his way where his other friends were.

Veronica sat next to Private Party with an unfazed expression, “Of course they would hate me.” She thought of the multiple times Sawyer had run to them in the past couple of weeks, ever since she got with Kenny. Marq offered her the container of food, where she sunk into the couch and began to pick at the bits that were left.

“I’m going to head out for a little bit,” Veronica said, handing the food back. “Are you sure that’s such a good idea?” Isiah questioned. “No, it’s not - but it’s not like I’ll find anything here that will help me.” She grabbed her sweatshirt and made her way to the door. “Have Nova help you guys clean this mess up, I’ll be back soon.” With a sigh, she closed the door and didn’t know where she would end up.

Sawyer slid down the patio door with a groan. “I bet you learned your lesson.” James, better known as Orange Cassidy, laughed over the phone. He had called Chuck wanting to get a daily update on the situation. “Hang up on him, or I’m going to toss your phone off the balcony.” Sawyer threatened making Chuck hold his phone to his chest. “Alright man, I got to go.” They said their goodbyes when Trent opened the sliding door. “Here’s your aspirin, and a bottle of water.” She took the items and took them almost immediately. Chuck let his eyes wander as he stared at her current state. Trent nudged him in the side causing him to snap back to reality. His eyes widened a bit as he smirked, and pointed in between them. Sawyer tossed the bottle to the side and closed her eyes. “You guys seemed heated in there,” She mentioned. “Towards V, was that necessary?” she laughed.

“Oh it was more than necessary,” Trent admitted. “She had the nerve to reach for the bag, after everything she’s done to you.” Sawyer held her tongue, knowing that it wasn’t all Veronica’s fault, they both were acting childish. “He’s right, she’s never looked in our direction either, her ego is only going to get worse around The Elite.” he took a seat next to her, relaxing his hand against hers. “I know you see it. I know you see her becoming something she’s not.” A calming silence rang through them. Sawyer thought over his words that seemed to hit her right in the face. Everything was starting to make sense.

At 9 in the morning, Veronica sat in the hotel lobby. Waving to some of the people that crossed by before beginning to hear her stomach growl. She looked for the nearest breakfast bar until she saw the people she was trying to avoid. Kenny sat at a table with The Young Bucks and seemed to be in a deep conversation, she slowly backed out and into the room next to her. It was mostly empty, except for a familiar guy in the corner… with a beer bottle and cowboy boots.

“We got to stop meeting like this,” she made her way over onto the stool next to him. He finished his glass, before taking a glance at her. “Rough night?” he asked. Veronica sighed before starting, “Is it that obvious?” she groaned. He put his glass down, looking her up and down, and bit the bottom of his lip. “Yea. You look terrible.” He lied. Hangman liked how the ‘Morning After’ look appeared on her, but she didn’t need to know that.

“Gee, thanks. I’ll make sure to let Private Party know.” His brows rose in surprise, “You drank with them? How are you still alive?” He cracked a smile at her dead expression. “How are you when you’re drunk? The daredevil type maybe?.” It was his turn to have a dead expression, as she laughed. “I’m the complete opposite actually, from what my friend’s told me… I can get handsy if I’m with someone. Other than that, I keep to myself in my small corner.” He raised his glass to her, and sipped it. “You’re drunk right now…aren’t you?” He let her look him over closely and started to feel himself get hot, “No, but I’m getting there.” Veronica took the glass from him, and drank the rest of it down. “You don’t need to be alone anymore, Page.” She placed an arm around him, “You’re safe with me now.”

“I'll hit you with this damn mop, if you don’t put her phone back!” Nova chased Kassidy around the living room, as he snapped another selfie of him. “Come on! Are you not curious at all to read one of these 400 text messages from Kenny?” He attempted to unlock her phone, before it was snatched out of his hand by Nova. “Hey!” he whined.

“Go get more paper towels.” She said while fully shutting the phone down, and onto the counter. “Ouu, so demanding. Kinky. I like that.” He flirted with Nova groaning. Marq came from the bathroom, and looked around. “Damn where did everybody go?” he scratched his head, as Kassidy made his way back into the living room. “Sawyer is on the patio, and I don’t know where Veronica went-” a knock interrupted them making his head perk up. “Must be her now.” Isiah went to the door, but let out a groan. “Ugh. It’s just Ricky.”

“Ricky?” Nova questioned as she made her way to the door. There he stood with a small bag, and a dumb found expression. “Oh I didn’t know you were here.” He looked between them with a hurt expression. “What? Oh no it’s not like tha-” Nova began to explain as Marq peeked his head out as well. “Why are you talking to my girl?” he squinted. Ricky’s eyes widened, as Nova slapped the back of his neck. “Go inside.” They stuck their tongue out, and closed the door leaving them alone.

“Just to be clear… there is nothing going on between you and them? Right?” Nova laughed, “Nah they just came over last night, and still haven’t left.” He let out a sigh of relief, before turning his full attention onto Nova. “Well, what did you need? I still gotta clean this place or they’ll destroy everything.”

“So you know our first date, when I told you I knew the artist from the bowling alley?” Nova nodded, remembering the date, “Yeah, have you told him I think he's talented, and about a possible merch design?” Ricky chuckled, “Yeah, about that…” He reached and grabbed the bag that he brought with him, pulling out a t- shirt, “I wanted to surprise you, since he knows what he’s doing, I got this designed for you.”

Nova grabbed it from his hands, her jaw dropped, “Oh my God…” “What’s wrong? Do you not like it?” Ricky asked, worried.

“I love it. This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.” Nova gushed, admiring the pink design. “Well, the reason I did this is because I had to ask you something.” Ricky smiled, waiting for Nova to look at him. “Well, what is it?”

Ricky took a deep breath, “When I first laid my eyes on you, I was mesmerized. And after our first date, I knew you were someone special. And the dates and calls after just continued to prove my point.” Nova smiled, Ricky said a bunch of stuff like this before, but this time felt...different.

“You are the most amazing person I have ever met, and I know I gotta ask before I don’t get the chance,” He grabbed her hands, “Nova Jay, will you please be my girlfriend?” Nova smiled so big, “I’d thought you would never ask.”

Ricky pulled Nova in, and let his hands rest on her backside as they shared a kiss. He lightly pushed her onto the wall, without breaking contact and let her rub against him a bit. A groan almost escaped his lips until the door swung open.

“Nova, I accidentally clogged the toilet- OH MY GOD.” Marq screamed, causing them to jump. His hands covered his mouth, as he quickly shut the door. “What’s wrong with you? You seem like you just saw a ghost.” Kassidy said while he flipped through the channels on the TV. “I just walked in on Nova and Ricky doing mouth to mouth, I’ve never been more devastated in my life.” Kassidy dropped the remote, and let his eyes close. “He’s out there kissing OUR GIRL?”

“How could she do this to us?”

Sawyer then came into the room with Chuck and Trent, “Have you guys seen Nova?” She made her way to the door, but was pulled back by Marq. “Don’t go out there! It’s dangerous and could lead to serious trauma!” Isiah cried. Chuck and Trent looked at each other with odd expressions, “What? Let me look.” Sawyer took a peep through the peephole and started screaming as she saw Nova and Ricky making out. “FINALLY. GET IT NOVA!” She cheered, making sure they could hear on the other side. Marq whipped a fake tear from his cheek, before leaning against Kassidy for support. “At the start, we had three girls…now we only got one.” Isiah glanced at Sawyer, making her cringe. “Now is not the time.” she reminded herself, as she and Wardlow wanted to keep their relationship private.

Chuck tensed, as Kassidy put his arm around Sawyer. “Have I ever told you, you were my favorite?” He smiled, but was met with an elbow to the ribs. “Too late, I got my eye on someone already.” she said, as she shot a look at Chuck who began to blush. Trent began to speak up until the door opened, and a giggling Veronica walked in with a tipsy Hangman Adam Page.

“Did you guys see Ricky and Nova outside? I first thought it was some random dude, but when I got closer,” she leaned onto Hangman “I noticed his big forehead, and instantly knew it was him.” She laughed.

“Well if it isn’t Hangman Pussypants Page.” Isiah rolled his eyes, at the sight of Veronica against him. “Did you get her even more drunk than she already was?” he asked with concern. “SHE drank my glass of whiskey, I had nothing to do with it.” “So, you couldn’t have taken it from her?” Trent interrupted, making Veronica lunge at him. Hangman picked her up, and tossed her over his shoulders. “Calm down.” he ordered as he set her on the couch, Hangman sat next to her letting his arm rest against her thigh. “I don’t know what happened before I got here, but it ends now. Veronica and I are both going to sober up a bit, and we need pills. Do yall got any here?”

Sawyer shoved Chuck, making him groan, he handed the bag over and Trent rolled his eyes. Nova then came in with Ricky, and they starred at the group. “Well isn’t this something,” Ricky started. “I thought you guys we’re going to suffocate out there.” Sawyer jokes, as she went to hug her friends. “You have gotta tell me the details.” Sawyer mumbled to Nova who nodded. “How about we put on a movie to ignore the sound of my heart shattering?” Isiah mentioned as Nova groaned, “Get over it!” “NEVER.” He cried. “A movie is fine with me,” Ricky shrugged as he took a seat on one of the chairs. “First we should take a picture, it’s crazy to see all this talent in one room.” She chirped.

“All this talent… and Veronica.” Trent laughed, making Veronica turn her head to face him. “I’m going to hurt him,” she started to get up until Hangman grabbed her hand. She took a deep breath before giving his hand a squeeze. Nova smiled as they took the perfect photo and posted it onto her instagram. It was only then till Hangman released Veronica’s hand, and took her face in his hands and kissed her.

#aew fanfiction #aew x reader #aew #all elite wrestling #aew fanfic #kenny omega #kenny omega x reader #chuck taylor x oc #kenny omega x oc #ricky starks imagine #ricky starks x oc #ricky starks #best friends aew #the young bucks #hangman page x oc #hangman page

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wrestlingisfake · 3 years

Text

AEW Fake Rankings, 9/25/2021

Men's singles division - babyfaces

CM Punk

Bryan Danielson

Jon Moxley (GCW world champion)

Chris Jericho

Cody Rhodes

Darby Allin

Christian Cage (Impact men's world champion)

Eddie Kingston

Orange Cassidy

Brian Pillman, Jr.

Men's singles division - heels

Kenny Omega (AEW men's world champion, AAA mega champion)

Miro (AEW TNT champion)

MJF

Malakai Black

Adam Cole

Andrade El Idolo

Matt Hardy

Powerhouse Hobbs

Shawn Spears

Daniel Garcia*

Unranked: Brian Cage, Dante Martin, Dustin Rhodes, Frankie Kazarian, Feugo Del Sol, Jake Hager, John Silver, Lance Archer, Lee Johnson, Matt Sydal, PAC, QT Marshall

* Not listed on official AEW website roster

A big talking point lately is that AEW's roster has gotten pretty huge. One effect of this expansion is that it's a major pain in the ass for me to keep track of all the wrestlers who mainly compete on the YouTube shows. Going forward, I'll be focusing on the performers who have wrestled in the past 30 days on television or pay-per-views.

There's concern that the big stars from other major-league companies (mostly WWE) will crowd out the wrestlers who came up from the minors. That issue became more clear to me when I put together the above list. Twelve of my men's top 20 came to AEW best known for their WWE runs, and Omega made his name in New Japan. So if you expected AEW to be "the best of the rest," you're left with Darby, Eddie, Orange, Pillman, MJF, Hobbs, Garcia, and a bunch of guys in the background.

We'll have to see if this becomes a problem. I'm optimistic that AEW knows what they're doing, and wrestlers will be regularly cycled into and out of the spotlight. But WWE has conditioned wrestling fans to think that if a wrestler only appears on the C-show, then the bookers have totally given up on them. So I don't blame fans for being skeptical that AEW can find a better way. It's on AEW to prove that guys like Brian Cage, Pac, John Silver, Dante Martin, and Lee Johnson will get their day in the sun. And that's not even getting into the dozens of wrestlers that aren't listed above.

Men's tag team division - babyfaces

Lucha Bros. - Rey Fenix & Penta El 0M (AEW tag team champions, AAA tag team champions)

Santana & Ortiz

Jurassic Express - Luchasaurus & Jungle Boy

Evil Uno & Stu Grayson

Chuck Taylor & Wheeler YUTA*

Men's tag team division - heels

The Young Bucks - Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson

Men of the Year - Ethan Page & Scorpio Sky

FTR - Cash Wheeler & Dax Harwood

The Butcher & The Blade

Private Party & Marq Quen & Isiah Kassidy

2point0 - Matt Lee & Jeff Parker

TH2 - Jack Evans & Angelico

* Not listed on official AEW website roster

At any given time, AEW has about 16-20 active tag teams, but a lot of them are mainly on Dark and Elevation. Limiting the rankings to teams that have been on real TV in the past month gives us just twelve men's teams. Then again, that's still more than you'll see on most other wrestling shows.

I think it's important that three of the heel teams (Butcher/Blade, Quen/Kassidy, Evans/Angelico) are in Matt Hardy's stable, so it feels like Matt is begging for one of those teams to break away and turn face. The Dark Order also features three teams (Uno/Grayson, John Silver/Alex Reynolds, Alan Angels/Preston Vance), but their storyline about internal problems could break up one or more of those pairings, if not the entire faction. Interestingly, they've started to set up a feud between the entire Hardy Family Office and the sort-of reunited Dark Order, which may be where they blow off a lot of these issues.

Women's division - babyfaces

Ruby Soho

Kris Statlander

Thunder Rosa

Anna Jay

Tay Conti

Hikaru Shida

Big Swole

Riho

Red Velvet

Leyla Hirsch

Women's division - heels

Britt Baker (AEW women's world champion)

Jade Cargill

Nyla Rose

The Bunny

Penelope Ford

Jamie Hayter

Abadon

Diamante*

Unranked: Emi Sakura, Kiera Hogan*, KiLynn King*

* Not listed on official AEW website roster

AEW doesn't do a lot of women's matches on Dynamite and Rampage, but because of the battle royale on the 9/4 pay-per-view some of the overlooked ladies managed to make the cut.

We've seen some alliances forming in this division, which has stoked talk of introducing a women's tag team championship. However, it looks like AEW has other plans, involving a new women's TBS title to complement the men's TNT title.

I don't think the women's roster is deep enough to support any new belts. That doesn't mean I don't want a secondary title or a tag title. I do. But I'm not convinced that introducing a new title will commit AEW to actually push more wrestlers and expand the roster. That commitment is what I really want; new belts are just gravy.

Part-time/semi-retired: Chavo Guerrero Jr., Homicide, Karl Anderson (Impact men's tag team champion), Luke Gallows (Impact men's tag team champion), Mark Henry, Minoru Suzuki, Rebel, Sting, Tully Blanchard, Paul Wight

I don't get the impression that Homicide and Suzuki will be sticking around for very long. Aside from them, all AEW is getting from the "forbidden door" these days is Gallows and Anderson, and all they do lately is stand in the back of Kenny Omega's entourage. These crossovers have been fun and all, but they've been more like Green Lantern/Silver Surfer than JLA/Avengers, if you get my drift.

The Dan Lambert/American Top Team storyline appears to be setting up some kind of match involving Junior dos Santos, Jorge Masvidal, Paige VanZant, and a bunch of other MMA jagoffs I can't be bothered to remember. We'll see if that actually happens, or if they just jerk around about it for another two months.

No TV or PPV matches in 30 days: Aaron Solo, Alan Angels, Alex Reynolds, Anthony Bowens, Austin Gunn, Billy Gunn, Colt Cabana, Colten Gunn, Griff Garrison, Joey Janela, Luther, Marko Stunt, Max Caster, Nick Comoroto, Peter Avalon, Preston Vance, Ricky Starks (FTW champion), Shawn Dean, Sonny Kiss, Wardlow

This doesn't include people like Julia Hart and Serpentico, who regularly appear for AEW but aren't on the official roster and apparently aren't under contract. Regardless, this gives you a good sense of which wrestlers would be the "AEW Dark roster," if we treated it like a separate brand or something. It'll be interesting to check in a few months which of these names are still stuck in this category.

No matches in 30 days: Anthony Ogogo, Brandi Rhodes, Brandon Cutler, Christopher Daniels, Leva Bates, Michael Nakazawa, Sammy Guevara, Yuka Sakazaki

As huge as AEW's roster is, it's impressive that only eight wrestlers are listed here. Guevara has a match set for 9/29, and Daniels is doing a little crossover thing on Impact Wrestling. Brandi just got back from maternity leave, and while I assume she plans to get back in the ring, that remains to be seen. As for the others, it's possible some of these people have injuries or are taking time off, and the details just haven't gotten out.

Inactive

Darius Martin (knee - unspecified ACL injury)

Hangman Page (paternity leave)

Kip Sabian (undisclosed injury)

Serena Deeb (left knee - unspecified injury)

Trent Beretta (neck - herniated intervertebral disc)

The big story here is Page, who was being set up for a major run for Kenny Omega only to suddenly lose his title shot and disappear from the show. That left everyone pretty anxious for Page to get back, especially since a wave of big new stars could crowd him out of his spot. I'm sure AEW knows when Hangman is scheduled to return, but there's no way for any of us to figure it out, which is frustrating.

Trent had neck fusion surgery, which has a notoriously slow recovery time; I don't expect him to be on TV until the middle of 2022. I haven't seen any kind of timetable for Sabian or Martin, probably because there are so few details available about the extent of their injuries.

Deeb had knee surgery in March, returned to the ring in May, and went back on the shelf in July. Evidently she came back too soon, and she's still rehabbing the original knee injury. I worry about that kind of thing when I see Britt Baker (or Impact's Chelsea Green) working through a broken wrist.

#aew #fake rankings

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zalrb · 2 years

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Confessing UOs to you because you're always amusing about them but never judgmental: 1. Rachel Green is a worse person than Ross Geller and actually by far the worst person of all the Friends 2. I like The Office but kind of roll my eyes at all the gifsets making it seem like Dwight and Jim are actually brothers or close friends despite their rivalry, because aside from like seven or so scenes throughout all nine seasons, their dislike of each other was genuine and deep 3. It makes me laugh that Team Jess vs Team Logan battles are still waging because both guys are AWFUL and Rory is even worse 4. For the first season or two of TVD, I genuinely liked Elena a lot and (even more of a UO) liked her a lot more than I liked Caroline 5. Luke Danes was a good friend but lousy romantic partner in countless ways, and don't even get me started on him inexplicably going from "all in" to "out" over the events in Wedding Bell Blues that were very clearly Emily and Christopher's fault rather than Lorelai's and then lying by omission about the existence of his long lost daughter from his fiance until she happened to figure it out on her own. 6. Andie was my very favorite Dawson's Creek character---even slightly more than Pacey. Thank you for reading!!

lmao i feel like i've gotten this exact list before.

1. i honestly think pretty much everyone is the same on friends tbh, ross does shitty things, rachel does shitty things, joey does shitty things, chandler does shitty things. monica gets worse in the later seasons and phoebe is pretty much the least offensive even though everyone made it seem like ross was a horrible person for not playing along with her delusion that her mother was a cat and not a lost pet and i was like LOL this is fucking ridiculous. her being irritated that ross is trying to push his belief of evolution on her is valid but when she finally gets him to open his mind a little and then insults him for abandoning his beliefs had me like lol k. i'm not saying i wouldn't do that, i'm just saying that's pretty shitty.

2. i just stay away from fandom things relating to the office now because i see all of these things like, yeah no.

3. you seem like a blog regular and potentially a blog OG, i feel like you know how much i hate rory and logan and how much the romanticization of jess makes me roll my eyes. i only understand team jess vs team logan debates when it comes to who is the better boyfriend for rory i.e. not who is the better boyfriend period, not who is the better man period, but who makes the most trash sense for the trash character that is rory.

4. i never particularly liked elena but she is certainly less offensive as a character in the first three seasons even though she started off with major, major character holes. (season 1 caroline ftw though)

5. yes, i've heard this before, i can understand his reaction in wedding bell blues though. because let's face it, going to the wedding of your girlfriend's parents, your girlfriend who you waited like a decade for, whose parents you were already nervous being around because you know they don't approve of you, and then the ex showing up, saying that your girlfriend's mother told him it wasn't too late to be with her all the while reminiscing about history and throwing it in your face that he's the father of your informally adopted kid, then your girlfriend is like oh btw i saw him a while ago and didn't tell you about it, altogether that's pretty bummy. and he needed time to process that. he doesn't actually blame lorelai, he's just like, they're never going to accept me and things like this are just going to keep happening and he was working through his anger and embarrassment but lorelai just wouldn't leave it alone so he says what i'm thinking right now is i can't do this, this is too much and lorelai just took it as a ok well we're going to break up. she didn't give luke the time. but yeah, the whole april scenario was handled extremely poorly. and lorelai's best match was jason anyway. i forgot how much i really liked them together. still like luke and lorelai, though ;)

6. pacey was still my favourite but pandie ftw!

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youcouldmakealife · 4 years

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Have we ever talked about Joey's strengths? How would the people who like/love him (e.g. Scratch, Willy, Casey, etc.) describe him to others? Joey is so self-depracating that we see so many of his flaws but not his good points.

This is a great question, because Joey really is an incredibly self-deprecating narrator, and obviously the man doesn’t have an entire team rallying behind him if he’s disliked.

So a few of Joey’s strengths:

He’s incredibly hard working. First person there, last to leave (Usually with Willy beside him). He’ll do the thankless tasks, whether that’s during the game (sprinting back because his linemates left the D out to dry), or asking for extra help when he spots shortcomings in his play (self-deprecation FTW), or sticking carefully to trainer’s schedule and a nutritionist’s diet (the number one way to get Scratch and Joey to bicker). He earned what he has by working his ass off.

He’s super loyal. Unless you’re like Zach (fuck that guy), if you’ve gained his loyalty you have it. And frankly that was a weakness WITH Zach -- Joey knew he was in a relationship that made him feel like shit long before he left because of said loyalty. (It did not help that Zach had torpedoed his self-esteem)

He’s a great listener. Sure he’ll chirp you if you’re ranting about something ridiculous, but he’s very good at knowing when a joke will provide levity and when things are Serious, and he will adapt to match it.

Man does not judge. He’s mocked Willy’s sleeping around and Trigger’s...Trigger-ness in the series, but the thing is? He’s saying both of those things with a lot of affection. Joey’s great at judging Joey, but Joey doesn’t judge his friends. Notes their ridiculousness? Sure. Mocks them for it? Absolutely. But it’s always done from a place of love and affection rather than a place of mockery (well. loving mockery.)

I love him. (Not a particularly RARE strength, because I love almost all of my mains -- sit down Nikita -- but important to ME.)

#joey munroe

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jowoeyclaire · 4 years

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Hiveswap Kid Headcanons???

I have a couple a already mentioned so i’ll compile those here as well as some other ones I have!

Joey

Tallest out of the entire group! And constantly teases the others on how short they are, but like, the nice kind of teasing like “here, i’ll reach that for you cuz ur fun-sized”

Would be awesome with a rapier, since it’s more dexterity based and she’s very agile since she dances a lot.

Would love to play the violin!

Nonbinary Joey ftw!!!!(self-projecting here lol)

She’s better at sculpting than drawing and makes little sculptures of people she cares about.

Much better at hands-on things instead of like sitting down and reading about them.

An absolute sucker for theatrics and drama! Heck she’d belt out dance numbers from favorite shows/musicals just cuz she can.

Absolutely the definition of an artsy student, she picks up on all manners of self-expression and enjoys them! Theatre, dance, art, music, hell. ducking. yes.

Jude

Has one birthmark on his elbow in the shape of a star!

Would be an awesome sharpshooter if he ever decided to pursue it.

Has went to stay overnight at creepy mansions with roxy and set it up like those ghost-hunting investigation groups lol

is good at imitating animal sounds

good at origami for some reason and loves making hats with them!

Weekly family game nights are instead theory nights and he spends like an hour discussing his latest investigation

a novice birdwatcher!!!

sketches are messy but really well defined, so he goes around drawing scenery and creatures.

PODCASTS, LOT’S OF THEM

weirdly enough, he’s favorite type of music is heavy metal and has had joey knocking on his door to turn it down lol

has studied home alone for the different booby trap set ups so he can use them

TINY

Xefros

can cook one dish really well but everything else is just... bleh

the embodiment of the “looks like a cinnamon roll but can actually kill you” meme

is into fashion to some extent and creates his own outfits!

(recently adopted headcanon incoming!) Sleeps anywhere and everywhere! You can find this kid sleeping on top of fridges, below couches, hanging upside down, you name it!

actually rules at mathematics, especially algebra!

uses his horns to pop open cans

loves fluffy creatures and would spend all day with them

very observant! he can catch details that go over people’s heads.

never skips leg/arm day. can and WILL pick up people while he’s cleaning

speaking of cleaning, he loves using scented liquids and his favorites are flowery smelling ones!

if he exercises his voice, his range could become that of an opera singer who can death growl!

Dammek

Rules at strategy based games like chess and checkers!

this guy ain’t tall, like, at all

In addition to drums he plays brass instruments like the saxophone or trumpet

the kind of person to write down his feelings and then burn the paper :(

despite his cold demeanor, he means well and will try to show it, although that doesn’t really come out as he hoped it would

SKATEBOARD TRICKS

talks up a big game, but his bark is worse than his bite

he doesn’t just write revolutionary songs, but also things like slam poetry about everyday things like pizza, although those he keeps away from others

also good at mimicking animal cries!

the kind of speaker in where he needs to get his thoughts all down on paper before he speaks cuz improvising an inspirational speech is tough

sleep schedule? never heard of that

coffee drinker

And that’s it! those are some of my headcanons for these kids lol sorry it’s super long :D

#hiveswap #joey claire #jude harley #dammek #xefros tritoh

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buttdawg · 3 years

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AEW Dark and Dark Elevation

I’ve been trying to catch up on AEW from late March to present, and Dynamite was pretty fun, but these Dark and Dark Elevations have been kind of a slog. I usually watch Dark in batches like this, so I think the fault mainly likes with Elevation for doubling the backlog.

I finished DE#8 last night, so I only have this past Monday’s episode left to watch. From what I’ve seen the show is fine. Paul Wight seems to be fitting in well on commentary, and Tony Schiovane called the early months of Dark, so really, this is just More AEW Dark. And that’s kind of the problem, because they promoted Elevation like it was something different.

I thought the idea was that Elevation was supposed to emphasize the mid-tier performers as they competed for airtime on Dynamite. That was kind of what Dark had become, as embodied by Scorpio Sky’s “Throne” promo last year. The implication was that Dark wasn’t just a B-show, or bonus footage that they couldn’t make room for on Dynamite. Dark was the place where all the wrestlers had to go when they couldn’t get booked on the A-show, and it was every wrestler’s goal to try to build up their win-loss record to get a spot on TV. So Elevation seemed to offer this middle-tier, where if you won a lot of matches on Dark you could go wrestle more serious competition on Elevation, and maybe if you did well there you could get on Dynamite.

Maybe I just misunderstood the concept, but Elevation just feels like More Dark, which defeats the point of the name of the show, if nothing else. The Dark Order appears on all three shows, for example. So does the Hardy Family Office. So does Team Taz. So does the Factory. But then you’ve got Fuego Del Sol and Alex Gracia and Peter Avalon’s group, who are YouTube-only. There’s an implied pecking order, but it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with what show people are on. Fuego del Sol could easily appear on Dynamite, but it’d only be so he could get destroyed in a squash match, so it doesn’t matter.

So it feels like Dark and Dark Elevation are just B-shows, like they seemed to be from the beginning. The thing is, they used to do stuff with Dark from time to time. I always wished they would do more, but they had a few running storylines and feuds that rewarded you for watching the show. Now, that’s mostly a thing of the past. I see a few segments with Avalon and Nemeth trying to make their stable sexier, but there’s no sense that it’s going anywhere. It’s mostly squash matches, like WWF Superstars in 1990. And THAT wouldn’t be so bad, except they’ve been making these Dark episodes over 90 minutes long, and now we have Dark Elevation doing the same thing. Superstars was only an hour a week, if I remember right. If you wanted more, you could check out WWF Wrestling Challenge, except they never advanced any storylines on Wrestling Challenge, so it really only mattered if you missed Superstars that week.

I have no idea what these shows are trying to be, other than just 28 wrestling matches a week that they wanted to show off but there wasn’t room on TV. Is AEW’s YouTube channel pulling down huge numbers because of this? If it is, then why don’t they make the matches more important? Have Fuego del Sol feud with Peter Avalon. Have Brian Cage lose the FTW title and try to get it back. Have someone score an upset on Nyla Rose. Do some matches where it’s not immediately obvious who’s going to win. DE#8 had a nice Abadon vs. Ryo Miznami match and I was like “Oh, yeah, they should be doing this all the time.”

Maybe things will change when they get to do shows in front of live crowds again. I’m not sure how they plan to tape THREE HOURS of dark matches alongside Dynamite every week in front of a live crowd, but at least there’d be an audience to weigh in on Layla Hirsch’s performances. They did a video package about her recently, and it told us a few things about her, but there’s really no payoff to her story. She’s very happy to be in AEW, and she just keeps plugging away on Dark, but there’s no sense that she’s close to breaking through to Dynamite, or even if that’s her immediate goal. I think Alex Gracia has a cool look, but it never amounts to anything. She just stays in the same role every week. It’d be nice if the fans could force the issue, and AEW would have to recognize someone in that talent pool as being worthy of promotion.

All I know is that I don’t have time to watch 5-6 hours of AEW every week. I think what I may start doing is only checking out the women’s matches on Dark and Dark Elevation. That way I can keep up without actually sitting through the entire show. Let me just run down the lineup for Dark #87

0:45 Ricky Starks and Powerhouse Hobbs vs Unannounced Tag Team

2:50 Leyla Hirsch vs Diamante

7:48 Varsity Blonds vs Liam Gray & Adrian Alanis

13:23 SCU vs Jake St. Patrick & Spencer Slade

19:50 Big Swole vs Megan Bayne

25:20 Sonny Kiss & Joey Janela vs Kit Sackett & Justin Law

29:59 Kilynn King vs Julia Hart

35:25 Serpentico w/ Luther vs PAC w/ Penta El Zero M & Rey Fenix

40:17 The Bunny vs Leila Grey

45:30 PAC Backstage Interview

46:03 The Acclaimed vs David Ali & Vary Morales

51:51 Hughes Bros vs. Ethan Page & Scorpio Sky

57:55 Ryan Nemeth, JD Drake, & Cezar Bononi vs Evil Uno, Stu Grayson & Alex Reynolds

1:09:28 Dante Martin vs Danny Limelight

1:21:06 Lance Archer vs Luther

I mean look at this card. They have the temerity to call the last four matches a “Quadruple Main Event.” Like it’s fucking WrestleMania or something. Dolph Ziggler’s brother is in the main event? Danny Limelight is in the main event? Fuck outta here.

But if I pare it down to the women’s matches, it’s a lot more appealing. Hey, they’re letting the Bunny wrestle! That sounds like a good time. And I might as well check out the Lance Archer match and the PAC stuff while I’m at it. But the rest of this show looks like the other twelve shows I watched all this past week. It’s a mess.

#aew #aew dark #aew dark elevation

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danwhobrowses · 4 years

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Are AEW Planning a Second Show?

Today, fan demand was answered with the announcement that Eddie Kingston - followintg his great TNT title match and pre-match promo with Cody - has been signed to AEW. Between this, Matt Cardona’s signing and the Deadly Draw inviting more women, AEW’s roster is getting big, even in the time of COVID. But it’s getting a little crowded now, so are AEW planning a second show already?

Roster Bloat or a Bigger Crowd? AEW already sported some fantastic roster members, sadly COVID had prevented travel for many such as Bea Priestley, Yuka Sakazaki, CIMA, Riho, PAC and more, we’ve also had QT Marshall sidelined by COVID. But even then AEW have had some struggles with utilizing all their roster, the tag teams particularly. Lucha Bros, Santana and Ortiz and TH2 are all wildly talented tag teams that sadly have had less exposure as of recent, the latter barely any TV time in almost a year. The same can be said for Luther, the Gunn Club, Sonny Kiss, Preston Vance and Joey Janela who struggle to make it on the card, and Sadie Gibbs whose ill-fated debut had led her to disappear entirely. Suffice to say, AEW’s roster is getting too big for Dynamite to cater them alone, but yet AEW still sign more people, and are encouraged to sign others still (I for one think they cannot pass up Will Hobbs, Shawn Dean, Serpentico, Ivelisse, Jamie Hayter, Pillman Jr and Pineapple Pete), especially for the Women’s division, so with that in mind it would make sense for AEW to expand their roster and perform a show Mitosis, either that or two things is happening: AEW is expecting departures or they’re losing their minds a little with the recruitment. Of the three I doubt the latter is the case. Light in the Dark A while back it was reported that AEW were prepping Youtube show’s Dark to be a televised show, which could also be a part of the splitting, being able to throw in title matches to draw while also expanding the undercard. But then that leads to the worry of what the Independent Wrestlers who AEW have done well to expose and finance during COVID would stand, the likes of Serpentico, Hobbs and Pineapple Pete if unsigned will sadly not show up on AEW either. This is all of course speculation, unless AEW move their ‘TV Dark’ to be a separate show and keep the Youtube show for the Indy talent and undercard, similar to how NJPW is currently using the show Lion’s Break Collision to expose their Young Lions (btw Gabriel Kidd is great you should check out his WCPW/Defiant work, of course Filthy Tom Lawlor, Jeff Cobb, Clark Connors and Karl Fredricks are fantastic too). This would be a decent move, but then you’d have to rename one of the shows, there also lies another struggle. Building a Glass Cannon While at the Roster AEW are bulking up, they are still missing the bulking in some other areas if they’re gonna expand to 2 shows. The Women’s Division of course needs more, the Deadly Draw will hopefully aid to that with hopeful additions of NWA’s Thunder Rosa, Ivelisse and Diamante being official, Jamie Hayter, TJPW’s Maki Itoh (and by extension her tag partner DDT Universal Champion Chris Brookes), Lana Austin, Laura Di Matteo, Millie McKenzie, Cris Cyborg (she has been teasing a Wrestling career for a while), Session Moth Martina, Taya Valkyrie and Priscilla Kelly to really stack the division for the return of Bea, Britt, Statlander, Kong, Sakura and Yuka. The other department AEW need to focus a little on though is management; as documented on BTE, tapings for Dark go beyond midnight, there’s definite risk of burnout from the EVPs so it will be important to not thin them any further and have people who can share the load, for commentary that can involve using Goldenboy a lot more and giving Brandon (and Leva, she seems to be doing a fair bit behind the scenes) a bit of help. Opportunity Calling? AEW seem to hybrid their product on sticking with some traditional NWA-esque formats in shows combined with modernized layered storytelling, the former can be seen in its ‘Big Four’ PPV system (All Out, Double or Nothing, Revolution and Full Gear?) with other named shows being specials like Fyter Fest, Fight for the Fallen and Bash at the Beach. With a 2 TV show format though there bodes the question if the Championship hierarchy will expand. WWE of course have a lot of titles, but due to little attention to storyline sometimes the titles become less prestigious over time like a rollercoaster, which is something AEW could easily fall into too. That being said, AEW have flirted with the ideas of Mixed Tag and 6-Man titles, especially with the latter given the expansion of trio stables before COVID (Jurassic Express, Dark Order, Death Triangle, Inner Circle, the Elite, FTR & Hangman, Best Friends, SCU, Nightmare Family etc.). AEW seem to have the same track as NXT and NJPW when it comes to stables, and a 2-show format can easily open the door to these kind of titles while giving more room for the TNT and Women’s title to surface as well - as well as Women’s tag if the Deadly Draw is leading to it, though I would prefer the tag division to simply be mixed...I can see why Brandi and Khan has some reservations over that though.This may also expand the platform for the FTW title, if AEW officialize it, build other challengers for the TNT, Tag and World title, and do some more promos, frankly I feel like AEW’s missing a beat by leaving out all its package promos it used to do in the build to dynamite, even the Road to series have gotten shorter mainly out of time constraints. A Ratings Arms Race Should AEW decide to do 2 shows and successfully hold it down, it would be interesting to see how their rivals respond. WWE have not been subtle about throwing together special shows and throwing some Main Roster fan-favourites on NXT to compete with AEW. I do not mind this of course, the Wednesday Night Wars has invited both brands to up their game, thanks to that we have great wrestling and stars like Dexter Lumis who have gotten over because they were allowed to reach for the brass ring. I only mention this because if AEW gets 2 shows it can be seen as AEW stepping up, which’ll have to cause NXT to deliberate if they can do the same and potentially expand their focus on other wrestlers or do a better job with NXT UK. Conclusion Of course, I don’t have answers, but with the men’s midcard being stacked and talent at risk of squandering, many arrows point towards AEW possibly pushing for another show by next year. Through the analysis I’ve given if this is done well, this could be very good for wrestling as a whole, more good wrestlers getting good wrestling platforms without being squandered, but there is still a lot of work to do and AEW need to keep a level head about this - which is hard when you’re on a high, the alternative is to finally wear down NJPW and possibly break bread with ROH or Impact like they seem to have done with NWA to spread their roster when they’re not being used. Or we can have a bit of both, in the end COVID has left the indy market sparse and AEW have done their best to provide a platform for others, and that has pushed them to expand, once COVID has subsided and more people adhere to the common practice of wearing masks and basic levels of hygiene, it’ll be down to AEW to see what steps they take when their roster is fully accessible to them.

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dreadwhoop · 4 years

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Reviewing the All Elite Wrestling personnel (Part 2)

Part 0 - https://dreadwhoop.tumblr.com/post/631091725056835584/reviewing-the-all-elite-wrestling-personnel-part Part 1 - https://dreadwhoop.tumblr.com/post/631092482075148288/reviewing-the-all-elite-wrestling-personnel-part

Wrestlers to Release

Let's start with an easy one. Chuck Taylor is damaged goods. Is he the worst wrestler? No. Is he unmarketable? Yes. What's his standing? Currently one of the top tag-teams in the company and personally ranked 8th in the overall scoring. Are you kidding me?! This guy makes you change the channel - bush league dime-a-dozen goof with bad gear, bad promos, and abyssmal credibility. The worst is how badly he holds Trent? back from being a break-out star. Eliminate this idiot.

Another popular choice for removal - he may be kind backstage but I never want him on TV. Carnie Hick. People constantly compare him to better wrestlers and the fact he was self-trained makes sense why he's so horrendous at fundementals, ring psychology, and stardom as a whole. We already have a 'Superbad' boy! This guy needs to go to a real school to learn the holes he's got and take every criticism to heart to return as a unique talent. Until then? Get rid of this glorified fan.

I finally have a legit reason among opinions - liability. Imagine if he took Matt Hardy's bump. He's not concussed. He's dead. What's more to say? This isn't a case like Riho in the women's division - Marko Stunt looks like the average untrained and out-of-shape wrestling fan could kick his scrawny ass. If you can't believe he'd kick your ass how can you believe he could kick the ass of any professional? He makes Rey Mysterio look like Andre the Giant. Toxic to this company - he doesn't deserve a single victory and I can't believe people can defend him beyond sympathy. He's a moron and attitudes of a child, gimmick or not, which makes people change the channel. Heel booked as face and a charity case. Same as Janela - go train and if he comes back then return dignified and not as a lost cause. Please stop leaning into the child-like persona and validating every criticism levied against you. THE FLOSS! !!CRINGE ALERT!!

AEW needs to get rid of their gimmick low-tier wrestlers. This isn't DDT or Chikara. This is national TV. If you want to keep Michael Nakazawa then I'm sure you're also happy with wrestling never being popular or you being called an idiot for watching it. This is their attempt at having a Toru Yano - a genuinely amusing comedy act who gets unexpected wins. The best thing he can do for talent is by not being involved at all. Considering AEW got rid of Jimmy Havoc for his real-life sexual misconduct, how the BTE YouTube show distanced itself from Joey Ryan, and the whole Jake/Brandi segment, it's unwise to have a wrestler whose main schtick is to joke about sexual assault and weaponise it.

I changed my mind and rules just this once for this guy - this friend of Tony Khan won't be released but every time he's on TV it's like releasing a wet fart into my face. He sucks! I can't believe how incapable he is at conducting interviews or even stringing complete sentences together. Why else would he be taken off commentary? The more you see someone else do his job in the same company the more you realise he has no place in the company. Dasha is a Buenos Días.

What a total failure. He's the modern day Billy Gunn and Billy is in the same company still wrestling! I mean it - Shawn Spears is the guy with a Million Dollar Body and a Ten Cent Brain. His manager has given up on him after he couldn't find a tag-partner, called Dustin a wash-up and then lost to him, and looks so stupid when he's with MJF running circles around him. Shawn Spears is a loser. A big loser. He's the embodiment of mid-card hell and he's a walking mid-life crisis. The only thing I can see even saving his career in AEW right now is if he teamed with Adam Page against FTR because it would be unexpected and interesting and would play into the whole 'Teambreaker' clause.

Where to even begin. The biggest indictment to her is how she was niche and needed when the women's roster had so few talents. Now it's growing she's shrinking in usefulness and we know her character or wrestling won't evolve - it's going to stay as bland and cliche as her looks and attitude. I hate she represents a stereotype and not a role model. She got over her disease? Good for her. She acting like she's hood-life and all? Change the channel.

If you glanced at the Dark Order and saw John Silver, Alan Angels, and Stu Grayson, you may mistake one for the other. The difference though is John Silver has degenerated his value as a performer by being the absolute butt of every joke. The whole point of the Dark Order was to make people better so being a little servant and whipping boy is better than what he had before? Why isn't Alex Reynolds doing this? Oh it's because it's garbage. Fecal matter in the form of a human. I want 'long' John Silver to be 'long gone' Silver.

QT Marshall. So I say this name with reverence and think "wow this guy is going to light the world on fire?". Let's picture the scene - he's the hand-me-down MJF/Shaun Spears, teams with Dustin to get some starpower, and adopted DDP's move because he has nothing original to show. His entire arc is being a goofball tragic loser who got hair plugs and hangs with Allie...Allie, who incredibly has a better record than him! It's just bad bad bad throughout. Diet-Arn Anderson. He's not in the shadows he's just in the shade.

This will need a bit more explanation. Moxley is, at best, hit-or-miss with his promos and very specialist in his matches. AEW's executives have put a lot on him to see this company's growth and yet it feels since he beat Jericho it's been the opposite. Now you could blame the lockdown for this but it's an excuse. The truth is Moxley is always best being a chaser to the title not the title holder. Do I think he should be AEW Champion? Eventually, but this is AEW's biggest issue - they book for short-term gains and not long-term gains. The losses will be creeping in if his loyalties are questioned. When he loses the AEW championship, and the lockdown is over, he's jumping back to NJPW or WWE. Why would he want to elevate talent? He's not there for AEW he's there for himself and tell me I'm wrong. Everything about him was booked wrong - he should of never beaten Jericho, continued to chase for the title, had to deal with Hager, Brodie Lee, and then when Brian Cage became FTW Champion, go after this to make it a more legit title. The fact Moxley thinks he's Stone Cold, Hulk Hogan, HHH, Cena, Lesnar, and Roddy Piper all in one, is a complete embaressment to the legends. He tries too hard and it shows. His wife not joining AEW is a bad omen for his loyalties. Mox is Pox - a parasite of every proportion and we've seen his type before play to the ruination of companies.

#AEW #all elite wrestling #Personal Opinion

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snarkwriteswrasslin · 4 years

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four seasons of smut masterlist

Below the cut are all the four seasons of smut oneshots I’ve written for this year long smut writing self challenge I’m doing. If there’s triggering / mature subject matter, the title will be flaired with an M, with appropriate hashtags and a warning in the warning line. They’re arranged by wrestler, then further broken down by OC used, with the prompts listed out to the side of them so you know what you’re in for.

XoXo

Ash aka Snark.

PS... For those looking to ‘skip to the good stuff’ the actual full on smutty content is marked mature. Implied / light teasing and non sexual ( no penetration in the traditional sense) is marked suggestive. Just so there’s no confusion.

★ ADAM HANGMAN PAGE;

{ with Ashley}

♥ take you home - oh nothing but feelsy “I’m in love with you” smut here. mature.

{ with Ivy}

♥ baby fever - babymakin’ smut here. mature.

★ BARON CORBIN;

{ with Gemma }

♥ right now - smut in an elevator anyone?. mature.

{with }

★ BROSERWEIGHTS;

{ with Sadie}

♥ two for one - a threesome. mature.

{ with }

★ DARBY ALLIN;

{ with Aimee}

♥ the sound of silence - smut with literally no talking. mature.

★ DREW MCINTYRE;

{ with Rhiannon }

♥ somebody’s watching me - against a window choking voyeuristic smut. mature.

★ ETHAN CARTER III;

{ with Violet }

♥ worship you- Ethan’s hungry. Oral sex, female recieving + praise kink. mature.

{ with }

★ JACK GALLAGHER;

{ with Katarina}

♥ good girl goes bad - slow and patient sex + drunken declarations of love, ftw. mature.

{ with }

★ JAY WHITE;

{ with Nicola }

♥ all tied up. valet falls for the wrestler she’s working with. proceeds to write filthy erotica starring a version of him... wrestler finds.. the two proceed to act out said filth. mature.

★ JOEY JANELA;

{ with Grace }

♥ need you now. frustrated ex lovers who just can’t stay apart any longer. feelsy feelthy smut. mature.

★ JUNGLE BOY;

{ with Aurora }

♥ touch myself. - mutual masturbation / voyeurism via video call. suggestive.

{ with }

★ KYLE O’REILLY;

{ with Dominique }

♥ the quiet game - smut with the risk of the other occupant of the room catching the couple / very hands on and loving. mature.

{ with Sophie}

♥ backseats and phone calls - almost smut in the backseat turns to smut on the kitchen table with the added bonus of Kyle challenging Sophie to answer her phone for her ex’s call... while he’s going down on her. mature.

{ with }

★ MATT RIDDLE ;

★ MJF;

{with Rosalie}

♥ dessert first - oral sex / blowjob under a table, in a restaurant. mature.

{ with }

★ PETE DUNNE;

★ SAMMY GUEVARA;

{ with Ginger }

♥ dirty dancer - grinding and thigh riding and heavy teasing - suggestive.

{ with }

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itsanerdlife · 6 years

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Dealers Choice 11

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Swearing. Fifty Shades of Grey jokes. Mentions of murder. Mentions of parental abuse. Mentions of drug use and hookers.

Your father had always been into bad shit, it’s what got your mother killed when you were five and your brother in an out of jail, doing his dealings. When the new King of the streets, Steve Rogers, takes over he threatens the lively hood your father is dependent on. When he finds your father’s in deep with his one weakness, gambling, Steve comes to play for keeps. Looking to walk away clean, your father bets something big, the only thing he has left. You. And he fucking loses. Now you belong to a Crime Lord. Things can’t get much worse, I mean it’s not like you’ll fall in love with him, right?

He had convinced her to go to dinner with him, after she woke from the nap he came home to find her taking on the couch. Buck’s brow furrowed as he stared at his phone, not noticing of him or Sam who had returned. When she came down the stairs, she waved him off saying she had half attempted to get ready and he could blame the hang over. She wore a little black T-shirt dress with specifically placed holes and small rips. She let her hair down and wore little ankle boots to match.

He had to tell himself not to stare at her mouth, while they talked, sharing stories and getting to know one another. As well as to not stare at her legs while they rode in the car, he’d drove so it had give him something to pay attention too otherwise. As they left the little restaurant he unlocked the Lexus, when someone caught her attention.

“Y/N?” He grins, coming down the sidewalk.

“Peter?” She lights up, moving away from the car and him. He was taller, messy brown hair, a band T-shirt on and skinny jeans, a goofy grin on his lips as he hugs.

“How have you been? Haven’t seen you down at Joey’s.” He laughs, looking her over. Once, twice, three times. Steve sighs, watching them.

“Yeah I don’t do that anymore.” She waves it off.

“Well damn, you look good.” He grins, eyes raking over her once again.

“Thanks. Stay out of trouble.” She pokes his chest, grinning.

“No promises.” He laughs, kissing her cheek before he walks away.

“Friend of yours?” He asks sweetly as she comes back to him.

“Your jealousy is showing.” She grins, he opens the passenger door for her.

“Good.” He mutters closing the door behind her.

“Something wrong?” She tips her head as he starts the car.

“No.” He smirks.

“He’s just a friend.” She grins.

“Who looks at you like you’re a snack to be devoured.” He shoots her a look.

“So does your blonde friend.” She replies smoothly, slowly crossing her legs as she leans back in the seat. He pushes his lips together, unable to come up with a response for her remark and that made him a little nuts.

You sat on the couch, feet under you, your hair hung over your shoulder, your oversized knitted sweater on, and your little shorts. You watched Harry Potter, eating twizzlers, engrossed in the movie when Steve appears in the living room.

“How do you know him?” He asks, making you look at him confused. “The guy, Peter, or what the fuck ever.” He waves his hand. A grin spread across your lips as you chew your bite of candy.

“Steve, that was hours ago.” You laugh.

“I know that, but I’m asking now.” He nods.

“Peter was a friend of my brothers, before he got on the drugs. My brother, not Peter.” You nod, biting into your candy again.

“Your brothers friend?” He asks.

“Yes, he’s actually a genius. Really nice kid.” You nod.

“He’s not an ex?” He stares at you with nervous blue eyes.

“No.” You laugh.

“Do you have ex’s?” He blinks at you.

“Where is this coming from?” You laugh.

“I’m curious about your history.” He shrugs one shoulder.

“Yes I have ex’s Steve. No, I’m not a virgin. No, I don’t want any of my ex’s back. Also, no I’ve never been in love with someone.” You roll your eyes at him.

“You’ve never been in love?” His brow crinkles.

“No. Love got my mother killed, why would I go and put myself at risk when I already was being my fathers daughter?” You snort.

“Do you think you’re at risk being with me?” He wonders.

“So far? No. I mean Tony’s a little leering, but he’s not threatening. He’s the type if I flicked him in the nose he would go away.” You smirk. “And the intimidating way you glared at Peter, tells me I don’t have to worry about someone touching me.” You laugh.

“I don’t want anyone else touching you.” He explains, nonchalant like.

“Oh my god Steve.” You laugh, throwing your hands up.

“What?” He sighs.

“Could you be a little more Christian Grey?” You shake your head, standing up, you head for the stairs.

“I don’t understand that.” He follows.

“I get it you own me. But I’m a person, you can’t make rules like that.” You stomp up the stairs towards your room.

“Why can’t I?” He asks right behind you.

“Because that’s not fair.” You retort.

“How so?” He leans on the frame of your door.

“Because you have long legged, gorgeous blonde woman touching you!” You yell, annoyed with him.

“She’s a friend.” He reminds you.

“Get away from my room or I’m going to throw a shoe at you.” You warn him. He looks at you as if this has to be a joke.

“Y/N.” He chuckles. You snatch up a discarded heel, throwing it at the door, it hits right next to where he was leaning. “You just,” he blinks at you “a shoe at me.” He looks shocked.

“I warned you. I’m not going to argue with you.” You roll your eyes at him.

“It’s rude to roll your eyes.” He sighs, folding his arms over his chest.

“You’re making me fucking crazy.” Your hands are in your hair.

“I thought we were communicating.” He smirks.

“Where is my top from last night?” You look around at the clothes on your floor.

“My room.” A grin presses into his mouth.

“Just because I slept in your bed and I let you kiss me, doesn’t mean you own this.” You wave your hand as you storm past him heading for his room.

“Actually. I own do own this.” He waves his hand around mocking you. “I won you.” He chuckles.

“Do you not see how fucked up this is.” You laugh. “I’m your fucking property because you won me in a poker game. Do you really think we can be together, to be something normal based on that?” You snatch up your top off his floor, turning on him.

“Do you think I was in that card game by accident? That I won you out of what, happenstance luck?” His brow crinkles as he blocks the doorway.

“What like you saw me one day and what had to have me?” You snort, mocking him.

“Exactly that.” He nods, serious blue eyes stare back at you.

“I’m sorry what?” You blink at him confused.

“I saw you, I couldn’t have you because of who your father was, so I found a loop hole and now you’re mine.” He nods, stepping towards you.

“You knew my daddy wouldn’t let you near me, so you waited till he bet me?” You ask quietly, the fight leaving you.

“Your father treated you like a prize, I never saw you date in as long as I’ve known your father, and brother, I knew it had to do with him.” He pulls the top from your hands, dropping it in his open laundry hamper.

“He thought as long as I was innocent, I was lucky.” You snort.

“You’re not innocent though.” He chuckles.

“What daddy didn’t know, didn’t hurt him.” You smirk.

“You didn’t look scared when he lost that night.” He brushes back a strand of your hair.

“You don’t scare me.” You shrug. “Nothing about you makes me think you’ll hurt me or bring harm to me.” You smirk at him, it was true, even though he was a criminal technically, a mobster of sorts you never felt safer than with him.

“I told you the first day. I’ll feed someone to the sharks if they touch you.” He chuckles softly, his hand cupping the side of your face.

“Does this mean Peter is going to come up missing?” You look up at him.

“Still going to fight me on being mine?” Humorous blue eyes smirk at you.

“Maybe tomorrow.” You grin at him. His hand moves to your hair, the other slips under your sweater and around your hip as he crashes his lips to yours.

Updated List: @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @mo320 @rileyloves5 @irepeldirt @pcterpvrker @tequilavet @crazy-little-thing-called-buck @lovemarvelousfics @wildefire @bluephoenix394 @dystanie-h @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19 @violinbetty @jcc04220 @petersunderroos @mariekoukie6661 @milkywaybarnes @girlwith100names @lumelgy @sarahp879 @white-chocolate-mocha-fan @palaiasaurus64 @ria132love @bucky-bear-barnes @jimmyisfab @capsheadquaters @pigwidgexn @ssweet-empowerment @mustbenot @whenallsaidanddone @geeksareunique @i-love-superhero @supernatural-girl97 @nerdyandexhausted @elle88531 @hunter-demigod-timelord @qnzdiamond104 @coley0823 @justmeinthisworldblr @orange-jps3497 @littlenerdgirl16 @thefridgeismybestie @breezy1415 @angelicstormz @rockagurl @angelicstormz @lilmissperfectlyimperfect @kgbrenner @kapolisradomthoughts @importanttimemachinenerd @s8sense @kingarthurofslytherin @shliic @itsemmyb @lesmiserablememelovingfuck @importanttimemachinenerd @wearegoldeninthenight @teenagetragediesforeveryone @iamwarrenspeace @ailynalonso15 @lovingholland @amandab-ftw @padfootl0ve @mizzzpink

Steve Only: @fandom-queen-of-hearts @jjsoccer11 @dreamer-at-risk @elitafuckingone @imabrooklynbaby @our-chaoticwhispers @patzammit @kazuha159 @yourtropegirl @mooniessuniverse @creepykatftw @evanstandream @fandom-feathers

Dealers Choice: @lucifersnipnips @mythrealfan @mellxander1993 @royallyslow @dasanih20 @fandomsstolemylife00 @realclassy1324 @nerdypisces160 @qnzdiamond104 @sweet-honey15 @koizorahana @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @1-fighting-dreamer @zigadaba-stitch @cs-please @demonic-meatball @thinkpretty-blog @its-tchalla @jboofanpage @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @tchallaholla @crazyblonde124 @red-writer13 @i-have-a-wonky-eye-too @letmebeyoursforever @fangirlinacoffeeshopweshare @hereiamhereigo @your-imagination-runs-wild @musicgal12345 @armybb1516 @marvelrevival @shenanigans-and-broken-hearts @sebbystanlover-vk

#Marvel #Steve Rogers x Reader #Avengers #Steve x Reader #Dealers Choice #Marvel Fanfiction #Steve Rogers AU Series #Avengers Fanfiction #Steve AU Series

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thesportssoundoff · 6 years

Text

Attempting to Play Matchmaker: The 2018 schedule opening

Joey

November 13th

I started this like two weeks ago so forgive me if I'm off on any of the news. Just bein' real on it. I got up to the main event for the Belem show and then took a long break.

What you see above is the UFC's schedule for 2018. The start of the year has been laid out and it features 9 events through March. For comparative measures we had 8 in 2016 and 2017. It's worth noting that this could be the last year they're on Fox so there's a lot riding on these events to do some numbers. According to Forbes (https://www.forbes.com/sites/trentreinsmith/2017/11/05/ufc-announces-nine-events-for-first-quarter-of-2018/#583e5ca8df1c) there's TWO Fox cards scheduled for the early portion of the year which to my knowledge is normally NOT how they do things. Even if you want to account for NFL numbers being down, playoff NFL numbers are always higher than anything else going on for the year so right off the jump, the UFC will have two big FOX events and then two Fight Nights which literally will suckle of the teet of the NFL/Fox relationship. The first being the Sunday January event which will likely follow an NFL Divisional Round game and the OTHER being a game the week of the Super Bowl. I don't know if Fox has the super bowl this year but either way, that's a BIG night regardless. It's been successful for them in the past.

So you got 3 PPVs, 2 Fox cards and then 4 Fight Nights, the last of which potentially being a Fight Pass card. Maybe in the perfect world for the UFC, that FP card is the first show a digital provider is getting so a Netflix or an Amazon deal is in play. What I'm going to attempt, quite possibly in a rather poor fashion, is to JUST do the main and co-main events with perhaps a name or two sprinkled on top of that who may appear on the card. I'll also try to be as realistic as humanly possible, avoiding anything that's simply not gonna happen like McGregor on free TV or Jon Jones vs Brock or whatever. I'm also going to try NOT to steal any ideas discussed on the Dojo Talk Podcast where much was discussed to the tune of much radio silence. Just gonna try to fill this early schedule out.

UFC Fight Night From St. Louis, Missouri Jan 14th (Sunday on FS1)

Main Event: Amanda Nunes vs Holly Holm

It's been said that Nunes vs Rocky Pennington was in talks around UFC 219 before Pennington got hurt. It seems like Holm is looking for a bigger deal (or Cyborg is or somebody is) for that Cyborg/Holm fight so let's do Cyborg/Cat Zingano eventually and just roll with Nunes vs Holm in a fight that would garner a rather large heavy audience in Missouri. St. Louis seems like the sort of town Holly Holm could really pop numbers wise and Woodley isn't fighting on free TV (OR IS HE?!?!?!??!) so just gotta take your losses there. You would probably prefer this as an underneath title fight on a PPV but beggars can't always be choosers AND I'd argue a big ratings # to talk Fox into a few extra green bills might top the 50K more buys Nunes could generate if she generates any revenue at all at this point.

Co-Main Event: Jeremy Stephens vs Yair Rodriguez

So I've been toying around a bit for some potential ideas for a co-main and one idea was Darren Till vs somebody but I don't see an immediate fight that makes sense. Till could use a big, big spotlight night but this one doesn't feel too perfect for me. Till vs Wonderboy would be great but I really think the UFC is hot for Perry/Ponz vs Till winner at some point. Yair Rodriguez has been gone for a while but I can't think of a fighter at 145 lbs I'd like to see bounce back with a vengeance more than Yair. Jeremy Stephens is coming off a win and he's a pretty damn popular fighter so I think that's a fair matchup for free TV as a co-main under a big title fight.

We know that Vitor Belfort vs Uriah Hall is apparently a done deal here. I don't think that's a main event and I think that while it would work as a co-main event, giving a co-main spot to Vitor Belfort given his potential leaving of the UFC would be like giving Mitrione a co-main spot on that show in 2016 where they had concerns that HE was leaving. They didn't----and so Hall vs Vitor seems like a fine third fight. Put an action guy as the 4th spot or two big HWs to get the masses excited and move on.

Click inside for more of me trying to play God and failing miserably.

UFC 220 Boston, Massachusetts Jan 20th (Saturday on PPV)

Main Event: Daniel Cormier vs Volkan Oezdemir

There's been some internet scuttlebutt that this is actually the co-main event and the REAL main event is going to be McGregor vs Ferguson. That's cute and all but I'm not exactly sold. You get the feeling Conor's not fighting anywhere other than LA, Nevada or New York these days so I'm not buying that. Volkan vs DC might not sell 1,000,000 PPVs on its own BUT it's a really credible title fight and I don't see anything that immediately jumps out and makes me thing they're going to find an event that can top it.

Co-Main Event: Stipe Miocic vs Cain Velasquez

Look I can dream, ya know? Sipe vs Cain would be a fantastic co-main event and PROBABLY a top flight main event of its own. I just don't think that the UFC can trust Cain to step up and do something.

I guess a really solid third fight to back up those two would be something like Kevin Lee vs Beneil Dariush or Evan Dunham. Plus you gotta have a capable HW backing up any fight where Cain is on. Gotta protect yourself on a show like this. Plus Joe Lauzon because it's Boston.

UFC on Fox Charlotte, North Carolina Jan 27th (Saturday on Fox)

Main Event: Derek Brunson vs Luke Rockhold

Brunson has already suggested that this fight might be in the works. Either Rockhold or Weidman. There's basically 6-8 middleweights just hanging around looking to fight one another in Jacare, Weidman, Brunson, Rockhold, Boetsch and Yoel Romero. Brunson/Rockhold is a rare fresh fight at 185 lbs so if I'm forced to pitch a fight, this would be the one I'd go for. Besides Brunson is FROM North Carolina so yeah, perfect fit. No complaints I can't imagine.

Co-Main Event: Yoel Romero vs Jacare Souza II

I had previously thought Jacare could bet he headliner for a week from now in Belem BUT I have another idea for the spot. Jacare vs Romero is the PERFECT rematch and given Romero's insistence that his next fight be three rounds, I like this one as a fantab co-main event for a Fox card. If Brunson/Rockhold and Jacare/Romero don't get you excited then you can just miss me right here right now.

As for the rest of the card? Well we've seen some fights filter out recently but nothing I'd consider to be main card worthy. Randa Markos vs Julianna Lima could be on a main card as an opener I guess? What if you do Siyar Bahadurzada vs Brad Tavares since I believe Siyar is 100% focused on middleweight as of this time.

UFC Fight Night Belem, Brazil February 3rd

Main Event: Fabricio Werdum vs Alexander Volkov

I mean I don't see why not? I originally thought of Curtis Blaydes here but the more I think about it, the more I think that's rushing things. Plus I did an entire ramble on the DTP about how the UFC shouldn't rush Blaydes. Volkov instead makes good sense given his stock in the division and the streak he's on. Wins over Tim Johnson, Stefan Struve and Roy Nelson sets him up well for a run UP the rankings and Werdum is the best available scenario plus it's a main event in Brazil.

Co-Main Event: Rashad Evans vs Lyoto Machida II

Let's accept that both Rashad and Lyoto aren't going anywhere. Once you've done that, let's take it a step further and argue that neither guy deserves a real competitive matchup to this point. Rashad hasn't won in 100 years and Lyoto is on a similar minded slide. Both guys are big names who can bolster a card so put them on against one another as a co-main event on free TV and see who can rebuild their name value a teensy bit in the process.

As for the rest of the card? Thiago Marreta vs CB Dollaway seems like a fine fight assuming CB is coming back down to 185 lbs. I spent about a week thinking of what to do with Paulo Costa and I've decided that him vs Sam Alvey or Tim Boetsch seems like a fine fight for his progression. Francisco Trinaldo vs Lando Vannata can find a spot on this show and the same goes a fight like Antonio Carlos Junior vs Anthony Smith and Pedro Munhoz vs Marlon Moraes.

UFC 220 Perth, Australia February 10th (Saturday on PPV)

Main Event: GSP vs Robert Whittaker

It would SUCK if the UFC decided they wanted to do a big event in Perth and the healthiest/best Aussie in the company wasn't headlining. Especially givent he money spent lobbying to get an event in Perth. So how about we just abandon all pretenses and do this fight up? Unify the belts and we're all happy campers.

Co-Main Event: Tyron Woodley vs Robbie Lawler/RDA winner

I was torn between Joanna/Rose II and the Woodley fight but the best way to hype up GSP vs Woodley (because it's coming y'all) might be to just put this fight as the co-main event. I think when you bundle it all together, it's a pretty appealing 1-2 punch. Lawler in general likes to stay busy and RDA fought in June and was the back up plan if Maia turned down the fight with Woodley in July SO you're talking about a relatively quick-ish turnaround for both BUT I think they can handle it. Lawler fought in March then in May then in July one year. If not then just give Woodley one of the Till, Covington, Wonderboy trio to figure it out.

The rest of the card is what it is really. Expect plenty of Aussie filler with a pretty solid third fight to help put the whole puzzle together. If you REALLY wanna get nuts then maybe you do Rawlings vs the winner of the 125 title tournament. Also if they're smart Meagan Anderson will be on this show against some 145er they find in the mountains somewhere. Ediane Gomes FTW. Also I swear to god you can bet on them giving Dan Kelly someone who hits really hard because they like to be mean.

UFC Fight Night Erwin, Texas February 18th, 2017 (Live on FS1)

Main Event: Ovince St. Preux vs Patrick Cummins

I'm sort of stuck here. When the UFC goes to Texas they tend to bring big shows relative to the quality of free TV. The problem is this far ahead I can't really find a fight worthy of a main event slot. My first though in all honesty was Cody Garbrandt vs John Lineker but that may be too soon given that Garbrandt just had surgery. I was tempted to go Val Shevchenko vs the loser of the 125 lb tournament but eh....bleeegghh. I even consdiered James Vick vs Kevin Lee but I think I booked Lee already. As such, OSP vs Cummins makes sense. Two big dudes being big dudes. Plus we can just make this a good undercard.

Co-Main Event: Paige Van Zant vs Rachael Ostovich

Oh-kay. PVZ turned down Jessica Eye and Val Schevchenko. Rachael Ostovich vs PVZ makes some sense given that Ostovich will probably be a fighter who gets bounced from the TUF tournament but has the ability to generate some buzz given her looks (it matters y'all. We're trying to sell an event here). PVZ vs Ostovich would also be a pretty fun wild wacky kind of fight and if you're putting Paige on a main card, I can't imagine her not being really high up on a show---especially for FS1.

Bonus Fight: Sage Northcutt vs BJ Penn

WHAT?! WHAT?! Look that's THE fucking fight to make. I ain't even about to hear shit from y'all. Gimme this fight and fuck all exceptions. This is the main event unfortunately for most folks. Throw in James Vick vs Beneil Dariush and Alexa Grasso vs Danielle Taylor. Leggo.

UFC on Fox Orlando, Florida February 25th, 2017

Main Event: Rose Namajunas vs Joanna Former Champion II

I would prefer if they just moved Joanna up a weight class. To me that'd make the MOST sense. I don't make the rules here though so might as well just do a rematch, right? To me this is the perfect co-main event for a big PPV but instead let's just make it a title fight on Fox. Max publicity, easy to tell story, big "name" fight to bump a number and get yourself a juicy rating in late February.

Co-Main Event: Colby Covington vs Kamaru Usman

Don't tell me you don't want to see this even if it's for selfish purposes.

As for the rest of the show? Welp there's plenty of top flight fighters from top flight gyms in Florida who can be relied to turn a solid gate. Thiago Alves maybe? Nina Ansaroff on the strength of two straight wins could take on Jessica Andrade or Karolina K. Ben Saunders vs Cowboy Cerrone is a weird fight that sort of appeals to me as a main card opener. Jorge Masvidal vs Gunnar Nelson would be fun too.

UFC 222 Las Vegas, Nevada March 5th (Saturday on PPV)

Main Event: Conor McGregor vs Tony Ferguson

How about we unfiy these fucking titles and move on with our lives?

Co-Main Event: Demetrious "Mighty Mouse" Johnson vs TJ Dillashaw

I mean it's what they're doing. This seems like the path they want to take and I guess I can be sold on it. Big weird super fights for all.

As for the rest of the show? Dominick Cruz should be better by then so maybe you can rebook Cruz/Rivera. Francis Ngannou can get a filler fight vs a somebody if you need to keep him busy assuming he beats Overeem. Dustin Poirier vs the Gaethje/Alvarez winner por favor. The winner of Pettis/Cejudo, assuming they're asked to fight again, could take on Deiveison Figuerido or Tim Elliott.

UFC Fight Night ???, England (It's listed as London and it seems like London is where it'll be but the UFC wants to go to Liverpool as well) March 18th, 2018 (Fox or FS1?)

Main Event: Darren Till vs the winner of Mike Perry/Santiago Ponzinnibio

If Perry beats Ponz, I think we'll all be sold on his legit-ness. Besides he brings excitement and a touch of fun to this WW in rebuild. That and there are goofs who seem to really like the idea of these two jawing and fighting eventually. Having said that, I expect Ponz to beat Perry pretty decisively which would give us a fantastic clash of really good striking WWs with developing ground games.

Co-Main Event: Michael Bisping vs Dan Kelly/Sam Alvey/Jack Hermansson/Brad Scott/Anybody outside of the top 15

If Bisping is seriously retiring in London as he's stated then this feels like a perfect chance for him to take a nice step back in competition. Bisping has fought in FIVE straight five round fights so how about we give him somebody who isn't going to make him go five rounds. Pick a name out of a hat basically and let Bisping go out with a high probability for a win.

As for the rest of the show? I mean where the fuck has Arnold Allen been recently? Give Arnold Allen somebody a main card fight. Joanne Calderwood can fight a TUF castmate at 125 lbs. Oskar Piechota can get a fight too.

#MMA #UFC #Matchmaker #2018 #Till #Pettis #McGregor #Poirier #DC

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