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#or anything bc she CONSTANTLY complained to let us know how much of a burden we were and how much she regrets having us.
dhampir-dyke · 1 year
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readerwithsalt · 1 year
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Sun and the Star Review: (With snippets from the book)
Since I just finished The Sun and the Star I’m just gonna say the first thing I have a problem with is the TELLING and NOT SHOWING.
• And I was wondering if anyone thought that they made Will super lame and ooc compared to previous cooler depictions of him. Like he’s supposed to be Super Chill under pressure and the Calm Dude but he’s so WHINY the entire book. He’s constantly complaining, judging, screaming, crying or sleeping. The cool, chill vibe Will had before is gone which was one of the things I liked about him before.
• someone else said ‘Tsats Will thinks there’s something wrong with Nico, something wrong with his personality. Will thinks Nico needs to be “fixed” and “healed” and so he can be “normal” and then Nico will be actually appealing to Will. Tsats Will may love some parts of Nico (or at least thinks he loves some parts of Nico). But there are more parts of Nico that Will finds unsavory or unnerving or scary or unsettling or unsatisfactory or unappealing’ I agree sadly
• Like he tells Nico in the beginning of the book that he’s just as capable of survival as Nico (which I snorted at cause no) and then is the hugest burden I’ve ever seen on a quest EVER in a riordan book. Like Nico tries to lift Will up every time he passes out from ‘lack of sun’ (which is so stupid btw) and Nico can’t lift him up cause he’s not strong enough so he’s constantly WAITING on Will. And it’s really boring to read about how every few seconds Nico has to turn around and let his boyfriend catch up.
I think Will’s character could have shined and been more likable in a completely different plot and quest.
Like, I thought since they weren’t giving Will any weapons that his strengths would lie in being the fast athletic character that didn’t need a magic item in order to show off…
• the whole ‘role reversal’ caretaker thing made Will look completely useless. Nico did 80 percent of the work and Will sadly fell flat. I thought he was coming along to keep Nico safe and to heal him when he got injured but Nico was pretty much doing almost every job. It was like he was riding Nico’s coattails to become a ‘hero’ and prove himself. But he didn’t really prove anything except that he complains a lot when things get rough.
They didn’t give Will a character weapon (even Piper has one and she doesn’t fight that much. Neither does Leo and he at least uses a hammer) they made him exhausted the whole book so he didn’t have his normal physical strength, his backstory was also pretty boring.
• and Will keeps randomly getting irritated at Nico bc Nicos irritated at him. Like?? Your shitting on his underworld home every chance you get. I’d be irritated too.
• in previous books he’s described as an archer. Even tho Leo calls him ‘the archer dude’ in TLH he suddenly doesn’t know how to use a bow AT ALL. He only said he wasn’t as good as his siblings not that he was complete shit at it. Previously he used a bow and had a dagger in BOO. Also will randomly says he never wanted to be a fighter and loved healing but in previous books he’s insecure about just that. Also the book forgets Will is a BATTLEFIELD MEDIC. Like he can fight and heal just like Apollo.
• Will whines constantly. And it’s grating and annoying to read. Either about the lack of sun (you knew what you were getting into dumbass) or the dead people walking around or about Nico’s horrible ‘darkness’ that he has to heal. It’s like he never thinks of Nicos feelings when he says stuff. And there little ‘fights’ end unsatisfactory.
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• The vibe of Camp-Half-Blood is nonexistent. It does not feel like camp at all. It feels like we’re in a 12 year olds fanfic mind. ALL of the campers are gone even though it’s been established MANY are orphans and we see no beloved background characters and background chaos that makes us smile like in the past books. It made me surprisingly more depressed than I thought it would.
• it’s also missing the mystique of a quest. Like going up to the big house to have the quest recited around a table full of cabin counselor demigods all fighting to be the third member to prove themself a hero (mostly the ares cabin) no matter how important a quest in pjo was for Percy Chiron ALWAYS enforced certain rules. Even if they broke later on.
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• Loose Ends. Reyna is. Not. Mentioned. Once. It never comes up how Nico feels about his big sister friend joining the hunters like his other one did even tho in BOO he tore apart a courtyard cause they took her. The girl whose shoulder he cried into, the girl who was with him during his last quest. The girl who thought of him as a little brother and tucked him in her cape and said he resembled his surname as he slept.
Hazel is mentioned… but it’s literally just a couple shallow mentions that don’t have anything to do with the fact that he may not ever see her again if he revisits Tartarus. He mentions his beloved little sister who was the actual first light in his life (don’t know why the book says Will is) in a long time only once and it’s because he can’t remember something and thinks Hazel would?? It’s weird that he iris messages Piper at the end instead of Hazel. I thought that’s what he was going to do and then it was just a big cringe fest of Piper shoved in at the end talking about the label of her sexuality?? Like we actually care??
And It’s never stated that Nico finds out where Jason is even though HE SHOULD KNOW. He literally talks to Beckendorf and Luke when they die in pjo to find out where they went but he can’t figure out where his best friend is??
Also at the end of the book it says Nico still hasn’t redecorated his cabin even though he told Jason he was going to a YEAR AGO bc the ‘decor was disgusting’ (I think that was the worst loose end not fixed 😂)
Every other relationship of Nicos is thrown away so he can admire Will Solace’s mediocrity. who’s kinda a loser in this tbh….
• The Percabeth scene was weird. What relevance does sally jackson have to Nico’s story? Why did he have to go all the way to Percy’s bedroom to iris message him?? And the fact he uses the ship name Percabeth to describe them (which he’d never done in previous books) proves a cringe fan is the one writing this.
The fact that they don’t OFFER TO HELP Nico is ooc of them. Bc even if Percy wants to chill at college he would never want Nico to clean up his mess without offering his help. Also the fact that Percy turns to Annabeth and says ‘oh man I forgot about him’ is like… WHAT?? And they just say oh yea if anyone can get through Tartarus it’s you two.
To Will who’s never been on a quest and doesn’t fight (at least in this book) that’s a weird thing to say. Percy and annabeth only survived bc they’ve fought together FOR YEARS. And bc of Percy’s big three power. It was just a forced add in cameo. Would’ve been better if they didn’t know till the end that Nico got Bob out and then they suddenly see Bob in an iris message and start crying or something…
• it broke my heart that Nico gave his SKULL RING to Will. The last gift from Bianca Nico ever got and he gives it to someone that doesn’t even appreciate his element.
And what does Nico get in return? A coin. I mean, an engraved coin but still. It’s kinda symbolic of the relationship. Nico giving Will something of such RELEVANCE to Nico’s character, something he’s always described with wearing and then Nico receiving a token in turn.
• Will asks Persephone how he’s SUPPOSED TO LOVE NICO. Like I almost blew up my house with me in it at that part. It never feels like Will is as attracted to Nico as Nico is to him. Nico instigates every kiss (which is ooc of him and his reservedness to touch). It seems Will likes to look at others a lot because one of Nicos insecurities were of him staring at fucking Paolo. While being right next to his boyfriend, Will checks out other people… Like Nico deserves so much better. He at least deserves respect.
I would’ve appreciated Nico and Ghost Jason way more than this shit. At least Jason described Nico better and they weren’t even dating. And I liked Solangelo before this. Will never describes physical attributes that he likes about Nico the same way Nico does about Will. Like Nicos inky dark eyes and baby bat winged hair, and his smile that is apparently like winter sun breaking through snow flurries, and his hair smelling pleasantly of rain against stone (I think Apollo is more attracted to Nico than Will is). But Nico has to call Will hot every five min.
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• Also I simply don’t understand the idea that Will being away from the sun would drain him to the point where he can’t keep up with NICO’S WALKING PACE within a couple hours. Like the super athletic, physically strong character that can lift Nico over his shoulders and run with him (and Rachel in TON) walks into the underworld and has to be healed by a stupid portable night light within five minutes.
• Don’t even get me started on his JUDGINESS. I always pictured Will as the guy at camp that thought Nicos powers were cool and stuff, right? And now he just judges every ‘dark’ thing nico does like darkness is synonymous with evil. And only his light can heal him. I HATED that trope and honestly thought they would make him more original. But I have to say it: he was so boring. Like in a way that made my stomach hurt.
• Wills kind of a jerk in this. Like it’s weird to read.
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• The PACING. It was off the whole book. The only part i enjoyed was the part where they didn’t know they were dreaming (that part got me) but that was it. But like gorgras scene keeps overlapping with the rest of the story and I kept forgetting my place. The fact that riordan or oshiro or whatever 12 year old fan wrote this put the words FLASHBACK & DREAM SEQUENCE over the chapters gave it SERIOUS fanfic vibes. The pacing is simply not suspenseful enough for a place like Tartarus.
• And do NOT get me started on Tartarus. Okay I’ll say it anyway: it wasn’t scary AT ALL. LIKE ANY OTHER QUEST. Actually it seemed easier than other previous quests which is a big nope. Hades might as well have sent him to Target.
• And about the fact that is was HADES who gave him that prophecy is SO OOC of him. He loves Nico. Nico is probably Hades most favorite child ever as of right now and he sends him horrible nightmares, and a prophecy respouted 12 times to get him to save Bob (whom Hades could care less about btw) and go back to a place that he knows haunts Nico every day MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!
Also HOW did hades give Rachel that prophecy? He has no power over the Oracle of Delphi.
• Maria and Bianca MAKE NO SENSE! How in the hell is there any piece of thier souls left when Hades gave Maria ancient rites and was the one soul Nico was not allowed to see and Bianca reincarnated. WHICH WAS FORGOTTEN BTW. NOW SHES BACK IN ELYSIUM?? Like?? Like maybe I could see Hades letting Nico see a piece of Maria but Bianca is literally GONE forever.
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Nico was ooc. Like not too badly but still bad. But the fact that Will didn’t let Nico shadow travel even once irks me. The fact Will didn’t let him summon Jules Albert irks me. The fact that Will kept brushing off nicos feeling about the underworld irks me. The fact that Will called Persephone the most beautiful PERSON he’d ever seen right in nicos face and then asked his (insecure) boyfriend if he was jealous irks me. The fact that Will is BORING AS FUCK irks me
• And the COMING OUT story. Horridly ooc. Nico shouting to the whole camp he’s gay and getting all the other kids to come out too is like??? and apparently he asked out Will before Will had even come out?? Nico would NEVER do that. Especially since not long before Cupid had done the same to him. And apparently Nico is like the first out character in a MODERN GREEK camp with DIONYSUS as a director. No.
In character Nico would’ve shadow traveled back to his cabin or the woods the moment he figured out what was happening.
• the nicknames are extremely cringe. Little ball of darkness is used to much and it made me itch. I think Will simply calling him babe or something would’ve been simpler and made them seem more like a real couple instead of a caricature of light and dark.
• ‘he’d always been the demigod who WOULDNT eat.’ ………..what the actual fuck is this. Nicos always been naturally skinny but being starved in jar is what messed up his hunger. Not that he WOULDNT eat. Why is everything always his fault in this book?
Like, he didn’t ‘LET’ himself get to the point of starvation over and over. I mean first of all he became homeless at ten years old, probably had to steal food items. And most recently he got KIDNAPPED by TWO GIANTS and starved forcibly. And then when he got out he was under so much stress of what just happened to him in Tartarus, the war with Gaea, his forced outing, and having to lug an enormous statue ACROSS THE WORLD. but nah, I guess he just LET all of that stuff happen to him
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• the references are BAD. Out of touch bad. Unfunny and the joke never becomes a joke. It’s never explained how a kid from the 1930s knows how to use the internet and look up lil nas x in a camp that doesn’t use any technology. Doesn’t explain how Nico knows about Care Bear powers (I didn’t even know that) and the beginning scene with the Star Wars ‘joke’ set a weird tone for the book and wasn’t even funny.
• I hated the cocoa puff demons coming to live with Nico. Like I was fine they got created ig even tho it was weird and kinda dumb but the fact that Nico is so keen to have his worst memories and insecurities sleep in bed with him makes no sense once again. In character Nico would’ve burned them with hellfire.
• Also Nyx is a unfathomably weak villain. A PRIMORDIAL GODDESS that even ZEUS fears is taken down in two seconds. Also she’s just trying to get Nico ‘accept his darkness’. WHICH HE ALREADY HAS DONE. The moment he called himself The Ghost King in battle of the labyrinth at eleven years is when he truly accepted his powers and who he was. So… why is she even in the book in the first place??
• Also Will STILL insists it’s Nicos fault he wasn’t accepted. And that it was all in his head….
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Also Micheal Yew was simply never mentioned again. Neither was lee fletcher. If they were I missed it.
There were a COUPLE of cute parts and lines but really this is simply too weird (and bad) to be canon to me. This book is just not canon. I see it as fanfiction from a random author that riordan probably let write the entire book or at least most of it. I think sadly riordan put his name on this for money and for fanservice because the writing is first draft material.
(And it kind of feels like they got this version of Nico and Will from cringy meme posts about them. Like, you know the ones where Nico’s all like ‘I am darkness, i am a vampire’ and Wills all like ‘come on, my uwu baby, no more shadowtravel for you, doctors orders~’ 🤣😭)
just because they thought that’s what the twelve year olds wanted and not realizing that a lot of those posts are simply made as a joke and not actually taken seriously in canon…. And that most people in the fandom thinks those are bad cringeposts
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schneesisterss · 3 years
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Do you have any head cannons for the other Dimitrescu sisters? I loved your takes on Cassandra!
thank you! <3 and Of Course I have headcannons for the other two. (though not as extensive as the ones I have for Cassandra bc you know... brain rot) BUT HERE:
Daniela:
ADD/ADHD representation
stims include, but not limited to: jumping, hard blinking, leg bouncing, word/phrase/noise repetition, and fidgeting with her clothing
and i’m also CONVINCED she gets the zoomies at random times of the day
Alcina, hearing loud and fast footsteps up and down her hallway at 3am: *sigh* “Daniela! Take it outside!”
followed by a loud THUMP and painful groan (she definitely ran into a wall)
hates loud noises but simultaneously has no volume control
especially when she gets excited
Cassandra has to constantly remind her to lower her voice
“AND THEN I TOOK MY KNIFE AND STABBED THE LYCAN IN THE NECK AND IT WAS SO COOL—”
“Dani, i’m standing right here, why are you yelling?”
she loves play-fighting with her sisters
Cassandra is more willing to entertain her than Bela but the both of them like to see their sister happy. so whenever they recognize Daniela getting antsy they’ll wrestle with her a bit
(Cassandra gets way to into it sometimes and makes Bela be the referee lol. Cass always ends up pinning her younger sister with a proud, competitive smile on her face. Bela let’s Dani win, but we don’t tell her that)
has the keenest senses of the three which makes her the best at stalking/killing pray
and since she can hear the best out of all of them, she unintentionally eves drops on conversations
so Daniela, bless her, has all the tea
tactile learner
will just. touch things
“Life hard, Mothers gown soft”
can get trapped in her own head and doesn’t know how to express to her family what’s bothering her
this can make her very reserved at times and she’ll distance herself for days on end
her mother is really the only person who knows how to get her out of that state. Alcina walks up the long flight of stairs to the highest point of her castle. her youngest daughter likes to come here sometimes when she needs the quiet. “Daniela? Are you up here?”
“Hello, Mother.” Alcina looks up to see her daughter lounging on a banister high up on the ceiling.
“What are you doing up there, my love?” Daniela rubs the fabric of her dress between her fingers. “Cassandra and Bela were arguing again. I don’t like when Cassandra yells.”
Alcina shakes her head. Those two were always going at it. She’ll speak to Bela about it later. “I haven’t seen you in a few days.” Daniela then grabs a fist full of her dress and tugs at it, blinking hard. “Come down for a moment. Talk to me, baby.”
and Daniela simply rolls herself off the banister and into free fall. Alcina, already prepared, catches her with ease and holds her bridal style against her chest. Daniela runs her hands over the sleeve of her mother’s dress.
Alcina gave her youngest child time to gather her thoughts, knowing it sometimes takes longer for her to be able to understand them herself. Daniela finally spoke up: “It’s been very loud recently. Around the castle. Small things, like footsteps or glasses clicking, they sound so loud in my head.” She covers her ears with her hands. “Even now I can still hear Cassandras voice through the castle, it’s pushing in my ears. My head hurts, Mother.”
Alcina gave her daughter a quick squeeze before setting her down. “Follow me baby, I want to show you something.” Daniela followed her Mother through the twists and turns of the castle until they ended up at a door that was just like all the others. It blended in and maybe that’s why Daniela has never noticed it before. “In here.” her mother guided.
Inside was a small library and lounge room. A fire place tucked in the corner and, of course, a wall a wine next to it. Daniela looked at her Mother questioningly.
“Listen.” her mother said, and Daniela did. She heard... nothing. Nothing outside of the quiet cracking of the fire place. “This room is sound proofed. Come here whenever you feel overwhelmed.” She leaned down to stroke her daughters head. “Just don’t tell your sisters I showed you my secret getaway room.” and with a wink, the tall woman exited the room and shut the door behind her.
The next day Daniela was at breakfast like nothing had changed. She didn’t even mind when Cassandra yelled at a maiden for breaking a plate, it only made her laugh.
(if you get overstimulated you KNOW what i’m talking about)
personal space? never heard of her.
loves to cling to Belas arm and Bela let’s her bc she thinks it’s just. so cute.
will also sometimes just crawl into her mothers lap and fall asleep. then Alcinas like: “well.. i guess i’m not moving for three hours”
Daniela: “if I run an jump at Cassandra, she’ll most certainly catch me.” *takes off in a full blown sprint*
Cassandra: “NO IM HOLDING HOT TEA—” *drops tea to catch Daniela* *proceeds to cuss her younger sister out, all while Dani is wrapped around her like a koala*
(this happens a lot. Dani will just... climb on Cassandra. piggy back rides, getting on her shoulders, wrapping her hands around her neck from behind and letting her feet drag on the floor, etc. Cassandra complains adamantly but never once moves to get her off)
Cassandra: “hey Dani, I dare you too—”
Bela: “Mother said Daniela isn’t allowed to accept dares anymore.”
Daniela: “apparently I have ‘no regard for my personal safety.’”
it takes a lot for Daniela to get genuinely angry, but when she does, it’s.... bad.
Very Very Scary when mad
turns into a completely different person that you Do NOT want to fuck with
dangerous and violent
much more dark and sadistic as compared to her normal personality
came home one night covered in blood and laughing hysterically. it scared the shit out of her sisters bc if they would try and get close, she’d slash at them with her weapon.
(this was one of the only times Bela had seen Cassandra genuinely worried and afraid for their sister)
when Alcina came to see what was wrong, Daniela, still laughing madly, swung at her too. Cassandra quickly shot out her arm and grabbed Belas elbow to stop her from getting involved. Bela whipped around with a growl but Cassandras glare and squeezing nails told her to back down. Mother can handle it.
Insane Laugh™️
thinks it’s funny to intimidate the maidens by showing her fangs and snapping her jaw
she often likes to find Bela when she’s reading a book to convince her to read to her (Bela almost always complies)
that’s it for Daniela. just a hyperactive baby with a murder streak <3 ONTO THE FINAL SISTER
Bela:
Mama’s (and I cannot stress this enough) Girl
needs constant reassurance that’s she’s doing a good job and yes this reassurance can ONLY come from her mother
INSOMNIAC
this girl never sleeps, pls baby you need some rest
she spends the time she should be sleeping reading books or running errands for her mother (whether Alcina asked her to or not)
she has read almost every single book in their giant library
Cassandra doesn’t understand this at all
“Why are you always cooped up in here?” Bela glanced up over the pages of her book at her younger sister. “This is the library Cassandra. Take a wild guess.” her voice was completely level and had no inflection. Cassandra gritted her teeth, “You think your so much better than me.” Bela sighed and closed her book. She didn’t want to do this again. “No. I don’t.” she said seriously. Cassandra eyed her for a moment then looked away, Bela saw the guilt on her face before she turned on her heal. “You’re so boring.”
because she reads so much, she is incredibly smart and just knows facts about random things
Daniela, daydreaming: “I wonder why grass is green.”
Bela, immediately: “the pigment that most grasses produce, Chlorophyll, absorbs almost all blue and red light and reflects green light which is why we see green. so I mean, technically grass is every single color EXCEPT for green.
Dani, confused as fuck: ....
Cass: “Bitch, how do you even know that?”
Bela’s sisters just end up using her as Google
“Hey Bela, how far away is the moon?” “238,900 miles.”
“Hey Bela, how many different climates are there?” “Twelve”
“Hey Bela, what’s the worlds deadliest poison?” “Botulinum... why?” “No reason.” “Dani. WHY?”
“Hey Bela, how much can I sell a human skull on the black market for?” Bela, concerned: “Cassandra why would—” “HOW MUCH?” “Well... are all the teeth still in tact?” “...No.” “Than only about $500.” “FUCK.”
“Hey Bela, I have this weird rash on my back and—” “Daniela. Do not finish that sentence. Go ask Mother.”
she is so quiet
and not just because she doesn’t talk very loud or even much at all. she’s just So. Silent. when she moves
just pops up in random places without anyone hearing her approach
even Daniela can’t hear her coming, which is saying something
Cassandra, minding her own business, drinking blood tea: .....
Bela, suddenly right next to her: “Hey I was wondering if— stop screaming, it’s me— have you seen Mothers lipstick? It’s missing.”
refuses any type of help with anything or else she feels like she failed that task
Never asks for help, Never asks for favors, and Never Ever will burden her Mother with any of her problems. Ever.
(Alcina thinks this is ridiculous. her eldest daughter pushes herself too hard.)
Anxiety™️
sometimes when her anxiety becomes too much she shuts down and becomes very indifferent to things around her. this has caused many fights between herself and Cassandra because Cass will get really fired up when all Bela does is respond with a monotone voice and blank stare.
overthinks literally everything and is a perfectionist
this makes her prone to panic attacks :(
when this happens she shuts herself in her room, not wanting to bother her Mother or sisters
Bela closes her bedroom door behind her and stumbles to her knees. she can’t seem to get air into her lungs no matter how hard she tried. she had failed. Mother asked her to bring her the head of that stupid man-thing, but somehow he knew their weakness.
how could he know? are Cassandra and Daniela ok? where are they? where is Mother?
Belas breathing was shallow and short, her chest burns as she presses her forehead into the ground. She claws the skin of her chest raw, leaving angry, red marks behind, desperately trying to open her lungs.
she stays as quiet as she can, only gasping few and far between. she will not be a burden. she should deal with the consequences of her failure. alone.
a sudden knock on her door makes her scramble backwards on her bottom till her back hits the opposite wall. then Belas worst nightmare, her Mothers voice.
“Bela?! Bela, is that you?” Alcinas words were rushes and worried. the door handle jiggled. “Bela, baby the door is locked, please let me in.” Bela covered her mouth and cried silently while her Mother begged to be let in.
the sound of snapping wood had Belas eyes flying open, her Mother had broken down the door. Bela shrunk into herself. She’s going to be so mad. I’m a failure. the ringing in her ears became so intense she couldn’t hear anything else.
large, soft hands cup her cheeks and a muffled voice through the air: “Bela, my love, you’re alright thank god. Are you hurt anywhere? Let me see.”
Bela pushed weakly at her Mothers arms and said between sobs, “I-I’m sorry, M-Mother.”
Alcina looked at her eldest daughter with confusion, she had no physical wounds, but the look on her face was heartbreaking. “What are you sorry for, my love?” this only made Belas breathing spend up even more, her face red from the lack of oxygen. Alcina quickly pulled her in close.
“Now Bela, listen to the sound of my voice,” she said it gently but just hard enough to grab her daughters attention. “I need you to copy my breath. Do it now, love, listen to me. Do what i’m telling you to.” Alcina took exaggerated breaths and noticed that instantly after her command, Bela had tried to follow, but the smaller girls breath was still choppy and small. Alcina rubbed a thumb across Belas cheek. “You’re doing so well baby. Keep going just like that. Good girl.” a smaller hand was placed on her arm and grabbed at her sleeve. “Good baby, use me to ground yourself. Keep breathing now, you’re doing so good.” Alcina kept whispering soft encouragements and praises until her daughters breathing was back to normal and she was laying limp on her chest.
Alcina moved the hair away from Belas face. “What a good girl, you did so well.” Bela squeezed her eyes shut and pushed into her Mother until her face was hidden. “I’m sorry Mother.” came a muffled apology, though her voice was much more steadier than before. “I failed you, I couldn’t stop the man-thing. He shot at the windows! He knows our weakness, Mother. What are we going to do? Where’s Daniela and Cassandra, are they ok? I should have stopped him for you I’m so sorry I—”
“Quiet.” Bela immediately seals her lips and looks away, already extracting herself from her Mother’s arms. She probably hates her. Alcina simple tugs her back and forces Bela to look in her eyes with a quick tap to the forehead. “Bela, I need you to listen to me very carefully.” Her daughters eyes go wide and she nods. “You have nothing to apologize for. This is not you’re fault and I will not allow you to think that way. Plus, the man-thing won’t bother us any longer, I took care of it.”
“But—” Alcina raises an eyebrow and Bela gives in, nodding hesitantly. “Good girl.” Bela exhales through her nose at the phrase and squeezes her Mother’s sleeve again. They sit like that for a few more moments, calming down.
Bela suddenly shoots up. “Daniela, Cassandra, are they—” “They’re fine my dear, Daniela got a little banged up, but Cassandra was already patching her up before I could even get close. We didn’t know where you were, that’s why I was so worried.” Bela relaxed and again nuzzled her nose into her Mother’s chest, took one more deep breath, then stood. “I’m going to go check on them.”
She steps through the now empty door frame and pauses. She spoke without turning around: “I won’t fail you again, Mother.” and shifts into a cloud of flies and disappears.
(am I projecting again? idk help)
can play the piano
no like you don’t understand, she is so good at piano
this girl has mastered songs by composers like Liszt, Beethoven, and Ravel
she’ll play for hours on end, if she starts a new piece she Will Not get up until she can play it through perfectly
she pretends not to notice Cassandra secretly listening to her play, hidden behind a nearby bookshelf
while her younger sisters always jump head first into a fight, Bela takes a more calculating approach. learning her enemies movements from afar before advancing and ending it in like 3 quick moves.
“Well Bela, if Mother asked you to jump off a bridge, would you?”
Bela, already climbing over the railing: “Hm?”
and there you go for Bela! my sweet child.. please learn self-care.
*ahem* I went overboard again didn’t I? WELP. I regret nothing. Give me more headcannons.
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cross-d-a · 3 years
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11, 24, 40 👀
!!! OHMYGOSH HELLO!!!!! 
11) Which planet would you want to call home?
If I liked heat at all, I’d say Tatooine since it’s my absolute favourite planet ever!! It’s just?? So fascinating??? I adore all the legends/canon lore and I have a bunch of headcanons, too :) 
However I, unfortunately, do not handle hot climates very well. So Imma have to go with Alderaan! They’re very environmentally conscious and have an interesting (if not very canonically developed) culture! They also seem to be a very morally good people? Just- everything about the people and the planet is so incredibly idyllic. I wouldn’t mind living there as long as it doesn’t involve any Death Stars. :)
24) Would you want to be human, or from another species?
I’d definitely want to be a Zabrak!! They’re my favourite humanoid species (besides Tusken Raiders, but like....i don’t actually want to BE a Tusken Raider..). It’d SUPER SUCK if I came from Dathomir but alsooo those sweet tattoos??? 👀👀👀 (But for SOME stupid reason female Dathomirian Zabraks DON’T have horns so I’d have to have to just..not have be cis female which is A-OK with me! ✨) I just love their horns and they’ve got super cool lore! Plus two planets which is even cooler!
40) If you could make your own Star Wars trilogy/series, what would it be about?
Oh GOD I would 10000% go straight for Nomi Sunrider!!! One of my all time fav SW characters!!!! You can find her in the Tales of the Jedi comics (specifically: The Saga of Nomi Sunrider, The Freedon Nadd Uprising, Dark Lords of the Sith, The Sith War, and Redemption). Of course, I own all of these, bc I Needed all the Nomi Sunrider Content in my life. Here I’m gonna spam you with pics:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
She lived around ~4000 BBY, during the time of the Great Sith War (which she was HEAVILY involved in!!) I STAN Nomi Sunrider (née Da-Boda) not only bc of her cool name but because:
1) Look at that GORGEOUS receding hairline!! Love a powerful woman who OWNS her looks and doesn’t give into traditional beauty standards!
2) She was married to a Jedi before she became one. Her husband constantly told her she was powerful and would make an AMAZING Jedi (yay for marrying a man who LOVES and SUPPORTS his wife!!) but she was too humble to become one.
3) She is a MOTHER!!!!!!!
3) Her husband DIES. Objectively terrible for her, but 1000% amazing for US!!! Because then she takes up his lightsaber and absolutely DESTROYS his murderers.
4) She immediately feels guilty and vows never to take a life again (which.....she might go back on at some point, I honestly don’t remember, but I ADORE her for all of this)
4) She is now a SINGLE mother and we STAN single mothers in this house!!!
5) SHE IS A SINGLE MOTHER AND SHE STILL BECOMES A JEDI!! REPEAT!!! SHE IS A SINGLE MOTHER AND BECOMES A JEDI!!!!!!!!!! SHE RAISES HER DAUGHTER WHILE SHE IS A JEDI!!!!!!!!!!! How can I NOT fucking adore her??
6) She mistakes her new Master for a fuckin HORSE basically. A giant, bulky horse. Also, she rides him around all the time. It’s great. Nothing like letting your Master carry you around like he’s a beast of burden. Like Yoda in reverse.  
7) She’s got her own funky droid called A-D3O (ThreeDee) and they consider each other FAMILY!!! FAMILY!!! They worry about each other all the time and ThreeDee plays instruments! Three Dee also has a weirdly humanoid face and I LOVE him. I think he also uses a blaster at some point I don’t remember. Anyway, I Fully Support droids using blasters to kill the villains.
8) Also, okay, wiki says she’s human, but I 10000% do NOT believe that. maybe near-human but not fully human. I need more non-human female main characters in my life, please and thank.
8.b) This is turning into Nomi Sunrider Loving Hours but I will take ANY opportunity to scream about her and how much I want to marry her or just- be her friend. Or let her step on me. I’ll take anything at this point, really. I’m Begging.
9) She ends up becoming part of a TRIO with two brothers. They are 1000% her sidekicks and no I am not taking any other opinions on this matter.
10) She shacks up with the objectively Worse brother, but I support her coming to terms with the loss of her husband and finding new love and happiness in her life. At least she’s got a bro to complain about her stupid bf with.
10.b) Unfortunately, her stupid bf is ACTUALLY Stupid Beyond Belief and Nomi Sunrider is in for a lot of heartache.
10.c) There are some SUPER COOL parallels between the brothers and Anakin&Obi-Wan so I’m always here for that. 
11) Nomi Sunrider KNEW it was a Stupid Idea for her bf to infiltrate the Sith to “take them down from the inside.” She KNEW and she TOLD HIM. She is a fucking SMART WOMAN. But does he LISTEN?? NO. HE DOESN’T.
12) Nomi Sunrider is actually??? One of the most powerful Jedi EVER???? Like, she completely SEVERS her bf’s connection to the Force (bc he is a Stupid and Kills his brother and she is DISTRAUGHT) and also is able to create a giant Force-shield she uses to defeat Exar Kun. She is HUMBLE and INTELLIGENT and POWERFUL BEYOND BELIEF.
13) May I gently remind you that she STILL is a single mother and successfully raising her child during all of this??? Through training and adventures and a fucking WAR, Nomi Sunrider is KILLING IT with the parenting and her daughter LOVES her.
14) Nomi Sunrider BECOMES GRAND MASTER OF THE JEDI ORDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
15) Gonna say it again: NOMI SUNRIDER BECOMES GRAND MASTER OF THE JEDI ORDER!!!!!!!!
16) Need I say more??
So like, not only would we get an INCREDIBLE female lead who I think would actually be a fucking AMAZING influence culturally (that representation babaaay~), it would also take place during a SUPER interesting time in GFFA history?? It’s a relatively new but still well-established Jedi Order that ISN’T based on Coruscant quite yet (OSSUS OSSUS OSSUS). We’d get TOOONS of alien species, a shit ton of culture/history and lots of new planets!! We still get some ~spicy~ Sith conflict, and we get to see how it plays out in an intriguing way that sort of parallels Anakin?? OH AND!! We get to see a very different Jedi Order!! The dude who interpreted the Jedi Code as we know it lived during this time, so it’d be really really really cool to see different philosophies and cultures within this time period! (things like marriage not being frowned upon or even encouraged, etc. etc.)
I dunno, I just love this time period and I would die for Nomi Sunrider, so. GIMME A NOMI SUNRIDER TRILOGY PLS
--
AAHHH this was super fun!!!! Thanks for letting me blather :’D I just love Star Wars SO MUCH???
(❁´▽`❁)*✲゚*
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ayatosmlktea · 4 years
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great minds think alike :DDD. alright, may I request a scenario where reader is in a poly relationship with mike and Levi. she's been getting harassed by some MPs but she never brought it up bc she knows how busy they are. however, one day Levi and mike see her getting harassed and they just spring into action, just protective men over reader ya know. also thank you for the opportunity for letting me request this idea!
A/N: Thank you for requesting this :) I’ve never written a poly relationship before but I hope you like it!
𝑾𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓 ❤️
Y/N grits her teeth as she walks back to her room for the night trying to ignore the two MPs trailing behind her. Erwin had some annual business to tend to in the capital and had brought a few higher ranking soldiers with him, namely Hanji, Levi, Mike and her. She had recently been promoted to squad leader and Erwin had thought it was good experience for her to come with them to see what kind of responsibilities she would have. She wasn’t complaining, after all she would be able to spend some time with her two lovers when no one else was around. No one knew that Y/N had been in a relationship with Levi and Mike for the last few months.
“What’s a moron like you doing with commander Erwin?” Jackson sneers catching up to her quick stride.
“Guess someone decided to be a little slut for the commander to get promoted.” Tyler laughed and high fived his friend. Y/N felt her blood boiling as she willed every cell in her body to keep walking.
The three of them had gone through cadet training together and after she’d rejected both their offers for a date they’d made it their sole mission to make her life miserable. She had fallen short of graduating with the top 10 by one spot and they had rubbed it in her face constantly. Y/N hadn’t really cared about it that much since her goal hadn’t been to join the Military Police anyway, but it wouldn’t have hurt to have been one of the top ten in her class.
Throughout the week that they’d been in the capital, the pair had relentlessly been making snide remarks about her, commenting on her incompetence to be a squad leader and how she wouldn’t make it past the next expedition without killing everyone. She hadn’t said anything to Mike or Levi, both of them were already so busy that she didn’t want to burden them with her problems, especially when their relationship was still fairly new. Besides, they would be going back to HQ tomorrow so all she had to do was survive one more night.
She had been so close to reaching the door to her office when Jackson had grabbed her from behind and threw her up against the wall, his hands holding her shoulders in place and nudging his leg between her thighs so that she was unable to move.
“So L/N, tell us. Is it only eyebrows that you get wet for or do you just spread your legs for anyone?” Her face grew dark as she scowled at the two men in front of her.
“Go fuck yourselves, you guys don’t know shit. I worked for my fucking promotion unlike you pathetic pieces of shit.” Her eyes blaze with anger, but inside she was starting to get nervous. It was late, most of the soldiers had gone to bed and she was outnumbered. Sure she was strong but not strong enough to fight off two tall aggressive men.
Tyler’s eyes narrowed as her grabbed her hair in a painful grip and pulled her head back.
“Now now L/N, that’s no way to talk to your superior officers. You know we can make you disappear right? Keep mouthing off like that and you’ll regret your worthless existence.”
“What the fuck did you just say?” Her eyes dart over to see Levi and Mike standing a few feet away and she lets out a sigh of relief. Both men immediately freeze, neither one moving to let go of her.
“If you don’t want us to break every bone in your useless shitty bodies you’ll leave Y/N the fuck alone.” While Levi was considerably shorter than Jackson and Tyler his entire being gave off such authoritative and threatening vibes that he seemed to tower over them.
“Oi, are you fucking deaf? I said let her go.” Jackson shoves her back against the wall and mutters something under his breath with Tyler trailing behind him. Mike catches her as her legs give way, she hadn’t realized that she was shaking until then. He scoops her up in his arms and they make their way back to her room. Levi hadn’t said anything to her yet and she feared that he might be mad at her for not defending herself from them.
As soon as the door was shut, Mike sat down on the couch and immediately began to fret over her.
“Are you okay love? Did they do anything?” She shakes her head unable to make eye contact with either man. She felt ashamed at being caught in such a weak position, they’d always told her that they admired her strength and now she felt disappointed at not living up to their expectations. Her small frame begins to shake as she sobs uncontrollably. Mike pulls her into his chest and starts to rub small circles on her back while whispering words of reassurance in her ear. She feels the couch dip as Levi sits next to them.
“I’m sorry for being weak, I tried to get away but they were too strong.” She hiccups through her tears.
“Tch, what are you apologizing for? You did nothing wrong Y/N. We’re sorry we weren’t there for you, how long have they been bothering you?”
“All week, I rejected them years ago but they won’t leave me alone.” She sighs heavily, already feeling drained from the events of the night.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Mike pulls back staring at her as she averts her gaze in shame.
“I didn’t want you to think I couldn’t handle myself and you’re both so busy I just figured I could deal with it for a week.” Levi grabs her chin in his hand and forces her to look at him. She had expected to see disgust or disappointment on his face but she was met with what looked like regret and love mixed together.
“You’re such an idiot sometimes, Y/N. You’re our woman, we love you for you. We might be busy but we’re never too busy for you. Next time something like this happens you come to us right away.”
“You love me?” She asks hesitantly, looking back and forth between them. A light shade of pink spread across Mike’s cheeks and Levi rolls his eyes.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Once again her eyes start to well up with tears, this time not from fear or sadness but happiness.
“What’s wrong? You don’t have to say it back Y/N, we just want you to know that we care about you.” Mike explains while panicking a bit at her unexpected reaction cause her to snort.
Shaking her head she grabs their hands and pulls them to her chest. “I love you too, both of you. I’m so lucky to have both of you.”
Shortly after that, the three of them had showered and gone to bed, Y/N in the middle with Mike at her back and Levi in front. Their legs tangled together beneath the sheets and their arms wrapped around her protectively. She smiles to herself and thanks whatever gods are up there that she had two amazing men looking out for her. Craning her neck back she presses a kiss to Mike’s lips and then Levi’s before falling into a blissful slumber.
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newhologram · 7 years
Text
Survival is anything but typical
I don’t work hard at positivity and happiness and self care because I’m privileged or neurotypical or never had anything bad happen to me ever.
Why would someone with such a perfect (and not real, no one has this) life and brain and body need to work so hard for those things? 
Maybe we need to ask ourselves that before we call every person or coping method *~neurotypical~* and be assholes about it. Maybe just don’t be an asshole at all, because neurotypical is not an insult? Why have we turned it into an insult? I’m really uncomfortable with “haha i make the assumption that ur brain is more on the normal side bc u recommended something to help, fuck u”, that’s really immature and gross.  
Unless you can literally see into someone’s brain, unless you’re someone’s actual neurologist or something, maybe don’t assume you know whether or not their brain is “normal” based on something that is annoying but ultimately just harmless ignorance like, “hey, I know you’re in a lot of pain everyday, maybe this one type of yoga is something that could help, I saw it in a documentary!”
Like, let’s talk about that for a second. As a disabled person (physical and mental yay), these are the things I work hard at to try to make life more bearable and to stay alive because my conditions and the high levels of pain I’m almost always in literally almost caused me to end my own life: meditation, yoga, aromatherapy, herbs, self-massage, journaling, and there are more things like treatments I get or going to the sauna but those are just the things I do myself. 
Guess what people who do not have such illnesses are constantly suggesting to me?
Me: *confesses to someone my illnesses and struggles* Them: Oh! You know, yoga might help— Me: Yeah, I do it twice a day. Really helps my spine out.  Them: Have you tried medit— Me: Two or more times a day, Primordial Sound as well as Vedic mantras and yeah, it’s really great for so many things. Them: My cousin’s husband’s niece does this thing where they get the oil from thyme leaves, you know like the stuff you cook with— Me: Yeah, I know, I use white thyme oil actually, it’s excellent for nerve pain and fatigue.  This is literally. Every new person. I meet. Who learns about my status as a person with incurable debilitating chronic illnesses. It’s exhausting and when I’m cranky all I can think is “what the fuck you just learned that I’ve been sick for several years and you think I never tried fucking yoga??????” But I don’t say that because I don’t wanna be a dick for no reason. That would make me a dick. There is no scenario where I would not be a dick for acting that way. People are not mind readers, the universe doesn’t revolve around me, strangers do not know what I’ve tried. My sister has tagged me in self care stuff in instagram that I already knew about, so should I call her a “fucking neurotypical” and be an asshole when she’s trying to help her little sis out? Sure, if I wanna be a dick.
My anger and frustration and suffering is not an excuse for me to be an asshole and snap at them and insult them for not knowing any better, for not understanding that yes, these things are very helpful and I already do them but they’re not cures and every person with illness is different and has to find different things that work for them. Yoga is great for me but might be too hard for others. In fact sometimes yoga is too hard for me if I’m having a bad flare up and I can barely stretch my arms without getting woozy. 
I’m just cracking up imagining some tumblr “blogger” at a healing center constantly interrupting a self-care lecture like “UM IMAGINE BEING THIS NEUROTYPICAL LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!” in a room full of sick and disabled people who are desperate to learn ways to improve their functionality and lessen suffering. You would look like an idiot and an asshole. 
When my self-care is mocked, my survival is mocked. When my survival is mocked, my will to live is mocked. When my will to live is mocked, my life is a joke then, isn’t it? I’m just a joke. Look at New, what a joke she is, making a yoga routine and sticking to it, what a joke she is, working hard to be nice and patient with people even when they piss her the hell off and on the inside she’s screaming. She must be #neurotypical lololololololol but oh wait her brain literally didn’t have enough bloodflow most of her life and her brainstem was compressed to the point where her brain couldn’t talk to her organs properly looool so #typical #amirite
I’m positive because on the inside, I’m actually very negative. The truth is, I hate myself. I hate my guts. I hate my voice, my face, my handwriting, my art, my videos, my life, my work, everything. It takes so much work to go about daily life with this much hatred for myself and sometimes it’s so overwhelming that my brain goes, “you don’t even deserve a heating pad or pain meds or acupuncture, you should just suffer and die and free your family from the burden of having to take care of you, and your friends will be much happier with you gone because then they won’t have to hear you complain all the time about how much pain you’re in!” I feel that I’ll never make my father proud, I’ll never be “someone”, I’ll never be happy, I’ll never find love, I’ll probably drop dead by age 30 and the thought is mostly “eh whatever” to me because I do not value myself and I’m constantly pushing myself precisely because of, wait for it and I hate that I’m saying this, internalized ableism is so deep in me that I do not feel that I’m worth what other people are worth. So my brain thinks, “it’s okay for YOU to make yourself suffer just to spare this actually able person a simple inconvenience because you are not of any value.”
Literally that is my brain nearly every day and I have so many up and down moodswings that I’m almost constantly overwhelmed by it. I work so hard to keep that shit locked in tight because if I don’t, it manifests as passive aggression and meanness and I DON’T WANT TO BE THAT PERSON ANYMORE. I DON’T. During very imbalanced and very sick times in my life, I was that person. I was awful. I was so deeply depressed and angry and suicidal that I acted like a fucking lunatic! I was mean! I was abusive! I was NOT A GOOD NEW! This was my mental illnesses aggravated by physical illnesses at their absolute worst.
It’s not neurotypical to want to be a better person. 
It’s not neurotypical to do my best with what I have and be grateful for what I have.
It’s not neurotypical to look on the bright side even when everything looks shitty. 
Like. I can barely work right now. I’m in my late 20′s. My 20′s are gone because I spent them sick instead of having normal life experiences. Last year I kissed someone for the first time in almost a decade, because illness kind of gets in the way of any kind of romantic life. One of my fears has happened. I’m too sick to do the work I love right now. It’s terrifying and I hate myself for it, I can’t stop feeling so horrible and feeling like I’m so weak for needing this time to heal and not using it to be working hard on set or advancing my career, and I have to maybe face the reality that I’m just done for and that was all I was going to be able to squeeze out of my poor sick body.
So you know what I do to deal with these feelings? 
I meditate. I make lists of the things I’m grateful for. I look for the abundance so that I won’t tunnel vision on the lack. Because otherwise all I see is lack, all I see is my pain, all I see is my empty wallet, my debt, my bruises, my vomit, my tears, my blood, my tiny studded belt in my shaking hands.
So bite my disabled ass. It’s finely toned from all the yoga I do, so be careful not to shatter your teeth.
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