#only to find out that that world never wanted you either. that world wasnt ever supposed to exist for you
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rotating noelle around in my brain. i need the dess raises kris au to be real RIGHT NOW.
please talk to me about the dess raises kris au i think im gonna explode. also start writing it this summer maybe :3333
#chatter#drkau#posts that need context. basically despite being called 'dess raises kris' neither dess nor kris show up for the first arc of the story lol#it would cover dark worlds 1 + 2 + 3 which i would make up#and its about noelle susie and ralsei being the three closing dark worlds and becoming besties#BUT ALSO so ive always worried id never be as excited about noelle as kris#n thus do her poorly when shes literally like one of the main protagonists#BUT NO. IM GOOD NOW. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IM GONNA DO WITH HER#what do you do when your entire family has been defined by a grief you dont feel. by the death of a sister and friend you dont remember#what do you do when their grief shapes the form of your life and you keep bucking against it#because now youre the baby of the family and everything is On You#and you finally FINALLY find somewhere where you can maybe be someone#only to find out that that world never wanted you either. that world wasnt ever supposed to exist for you#what the fuck are you supposed to do#ANYWAYS NOELLE HOLIDAY-DREEMURR....NOELLE HOLIDAY-DREEMURR I LOVE YOU.....#(ps yes she gets a hyphenated name i wonder what might lead to this....)#(pps no i dont know what kris's last name is in this au skull emoji#chara would take dess's when they get married but dess wouldnt keep holiday (or let kris keep dreemurr)#cause she did. technically. kidnap them oops)#ANYWAYS IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS AU LITERALLY SHAKING IT AROUND LIKE A DOG WITH A CHEW TOY
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listen, obviously i love astarion for multiple reasons, but ironically when i first started the game i wasnt interested in him, at all. i was fully commited to finding karlach and dating her bc of what i had seen online about her. i had barely heard or seen anything about him other than him being "the flirty vampire" and i was like eh okay
i ended up keeping him in my party cause his remarks were hilarious and i really vibed with his energy. and then he started opening up and you get to see how the whole overconfidence and flirting was an act, he starts talking about cazador and what he went through and how determinate he is to take him down. he keeps mentioning how he cannot wait to get rid of his master and how satisfied hes going to be, and hes smiling just thinking about it
then we learn about the ritual and theres this sudden spark in him, hes convinced that its the answer to his problems, he gets tunnel vision on the ritual, and if you romance him he also thinks its the only way he can assure not only his own safety, but also yours.
and when you finally win the fight, you have to save him from himself. hes desperate, completely blinded by the power he could potentially have. if he has this power, hes never going to be vulnerable, no one will abuse him ever again.
he is willing to lose himself to make sure he never gets hurt like this. even with high approval, if you dont succeed a persuasion roll or refuse to help him, he either turns against you or leaves your party. in his eyes, at this moment, you are the one who turned against him.
if you suceed the persuasion roll, he agrees that he can be better than cazador, and before stabbing him repeatedly, mentions (again) how hes going to enjoy this
only to break down right after. even though its something hes been wanting to do for centuries, all the suffering hes been through came crumbling down after it was done. cazador is dead, hes the one who killed him, he finally got his revenge, and yet he feels this emptiness.
its done, why do i not feel better?
if you saved him, he talks to you later and admits how he wasn't himself, how thankful he is that you helped him out and most of all, you believed in him. you saved him by believing he could be more than what he saw in himself.
if you talk to him after completing dame aylin's quest in act 3 (after killing cazador), he mentions how he expected her to rejoice after defeating yet another person who intended to enslave her, but shes just tired. hes comparing her reaction to his own experience after freeing himself from his abuser
and after karlach's reaction to killing gortash, he brings up the fact that theres "no justice in this world". contrary to what he believed earlier in the game, its not only him thats been wronged for several years. even though in the end they all got to get rid of the people who ruined their lives, they are still hurting.
hes realising that killing your abuser, although it seemed like the simple, satisying solution of finally having your revenge from years of trauma, might free you, but it will not fix you. they're dead, but you still have to live with what they've done to you.
he is my roman empire
#i..................cant stop thinking about him#my posts#astarion#bg3#astarion bg3#astarion ancunin#pookie making me process my own trauma frfr#baldur's gate 3
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proof that everything is imaginary
⭐️part seven of the understanding consciousness & non dualism series
have "you" ever been daydreaming and then you get so completely into it that you are not aware of where "you" are or the "physical world"? in that moment when you are so into that daydream, that existed bc you were aware of it. the "physical world" and "your" body were non existent in that moment bc they aren't permanent and the only thing they are is imaginary / consciousness. the "physical world" is only forms of consciousness that come and go bc you can be aware of it or not. when you arent aware of it, it doesnt exist to you. this means that this "physical world" is not real and is only imagination bc it comes and goes and cannot be real. the ego thinks the "physical world" is real bc it is what you are mostly aware of and bc of a society that tells us that this is real. but when you daydream / imagine and become aware of something else, you find out that the "physical" was not real in the first place. it is just forms of consciousness that appear separate and real, therefore an illusion. i remember this thing happening to me a lot where "i" would be walking on the street and at the same time, imagining something else and when "i" snap out of the daydream, for a split second i get confused at where i am and wonder why i wasnt even aware of my "outside surroundings" while daydreaming.
this is bc the "physical world" is as imaginary as imagination itself. its all imagination, consciousness.
you know when you remember and imagine a really embarrassing moment from the past? why do "you" get the same cringy, heart beating feeling as if "you" were really re-living the exact moment? bc everything is imaginary. there is no such thing as "real" experience bc nothing is real except the real you (consciousness) itself. the "physical environment" is forms of consciousness that come and go so they arent real. so your false self's "experiences" are not real at all. that cringy feeling the false self gets is not even real either. there is nothing but imagination.
when "you" imagine something, it is the same as "experiencing" it in the "physical world" bc this "physical world" is imaginary in the first place.
when you were a kid, you said you wanted to be a fairy or a princess and would imagine just that. as a kid, "you" believed that was reality even though as "we" become more grown, we look back and think "i had such a wild imagination." but back then it wasn't imagination to us, it was real to us. the thing that changes is ego. while being a kid, the ego has no issue believing in imagination but in a society where humans claim the "physical world" is real and imagination is fake, the ego changes and believes in one over the other. the truth is that both imagination and the "physical world" are reality bc they are both consciousness. there is no separation between them (non dualism) bc is it all imagination/consciousness. and that is one thing that humans fail to understand. the ego is imagination too.
everything is not real. everything is imaginary.
‼️ every concept is imagined. the idea and fear of not having a desire is imagined. even the idea of a desire is imagined and not real. even the word "desire" and "idea" "imagined" is imagined and not real. the idea of not getting a desire is imagination and the idea of getting/having your desire is imagination. everything is imagination. this means you get to choose which game to play. none of this is real and will never be bc the only thing it is is forms of consciousness that appear as things as "table" and "mother" so have fun playing with consciousness. you are imagination itself. imagine what "you" want -> be what "you" want (bc since you are imagination, everything you can be aware of is only imagination so you are everything you are aware of). imagine whatever and you experience it instantly, you experience it the moment you imagine it. everything is imagination. everything is consciousness. everything is you. there is no such thing as separation. pick the game you want to play bc why not? all this is ever going to be is imagination either way...
© msperfect777
#nondualism#nonduality#non duality#non dualism#consciousness#enlightenment#advaita#observer#manifesation#manifesting#law of assumption#spirituality#spirtitual
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Our Chaotic little family| Charles Leclerc
Notes: This is around 4.5k words and ive not proof read it so im sorry in advance for that aha, also I dont speak French so im sorry if either anything is incorrect or the fact he his French and this is an English fic. But I hope you guys enjoy some protective dad!Charles xoxoxo
Blurb: One where you daughter gets a boyfriend, and Charles is not happy about it at all.
Warnings: Swearing, some small angst with angry Charles.
You and Charles had known each other since before you could remember, he had always been the boy next door that you had a huge crush on. After he set off on his formula 1 career you didn't see that much of him, thinking the ship had sailed, but somehow fate made it happen. You had been lucky enough to get to love each other when you were only young, Charles was 20, you were 19.
You both experienced the bittersweetness of young love, until eventually he was the man you wanted to spend every waking moment with, you were never sure if you wanted to ever get married or even have children for that matter, but with him it was different.
And here you were, you were married and had three children, and you couldn't ever think you could be more happy.
Your oldest, Leo, was now seventeen, his dad takes him out at least three times a week teaching him to drive. You hadn't had the confidence to let Leo drive you around yet, but you knew with Charles he would learn quickly, you knew because Charles was the first person to teach you to drive a car too.
Your third and youngest was little baby arthur, who earned his name after giving you the most chaotic pregnancy of them all. He was only seven years old, he had gotten a lot more better behaved with age but was still your little menace. Charles used to say that he would be a footballer when he was older considering how much he liked to kick your stomach. He was born three weeks early at the Monaco Grand prix. A story for another day, but even before Arthur was born he was a handful pregnancy so that's how it was an easy decision to name him after Charles' youngest brother, who was also a chaotic handful.
Your only little girl, Juliana or jules was fifteen turning twenty one. she was starting to experience the world of womanhood. She wasn't as much her daddys little girl as she got older, something Charles had grown to hate.
Jules was your best friend, you wanted her to have the comfort of knowing her mum was there for her throughout her whole life, something you never had growing up. She had recently told you about a boy she had grown to like, you knew she had been hiding something from you, so did charles. You knew she would tell you about this boy soon, Charles however was praying that her happy mood had nothing to do with the male species.
You were standing in the kitchen, baking some cookies for a birthday party for one pierres children and Arthur junior was helping you, and by helping he was just eating all the chocolate chips. It was a late sunny friday afternoon, the type of restful afternoon where Charles wasnt off racing that weekend, the kind of fridays you liked to hold on too.
Charles was talking Leo out for an afternoon drive and Jules was sitting on the sofa giggling at her phone like the giddy little love struck child she was.
Leo was scrambling around the house to find his lucky driving shoes and Charles came up behind you in the kitchen, wrapping his hands around your waist and leaning forward to kiss your temples. He looked up to see what you were looking at, but his brows furrowed when he was his little girl twirling her hair and giggling at her phone.
“What on earth could she be laughing at her phone like that for?” He said.
You rolled your eyes at your husband's words, spinning around and placing your hands on his chest. His eyes still glued on his daughter.
“Her friends probably sent her a funny video.” You tried to shrug it off, but Charles wasn't dropping it.
“Mon amour, I know that look.” He looked at you, shooting you a knowing look.
A smirk crawled on ur lips as you turned back around to watch your daughter who was now sprawled out on the sofa on her stomach, twirling her hair, biting her lip with her feet swinging in the air.
“What look?”
“You're her carbon copy, y/n. I know that look a little to well.” He glances at you with a knowing expression.
“Dad! I'm ready!” Leo's voice echoed around the kitchen causing Charles to kiss your lips quickly and whisper a goodbye.
“Papa! Gross!” Arthur shouted from where he was perched on the kitchen counter, an empty bag of chocolate chips in hands and the rest all around his mouth.
“I'll go to the shop for you on the way back or your chocolate chip cookies aren't going to be very chocolatey.” Charles said to you looking back at his son in gramance who was touching every surface in the kitchen with his chocolate covered fingers.
After Charles left you gave Arthur a bath, watching as he climbed in the bubbled filled tub with all his toys.
“Mama, is papa your boyfriend?” He asked you, just as you were about to exit the bathroom.
“No sweetheart-” you giggled at your son's randomness, “he's my husband, we got married long before you were born.” You perch down by the bath, dipping your fingers in the bath, splashing him slightly making him giggle.
“What makes you ask that?”
“Julie has a boyfriend.” he said, blowing some of the bubbles from the bath.
“How do you know that?” You knew it was wrong to get Arthur to tell you all the gossip, but he was a great little ear wiger.
It wouldn't be the first time he had told you and Charles a story that he had accidentally overheard. Like when Pierre and his wife first found out they were expecting another baby Arthur had accidentally overheard a private conversation about Pierre's wife not being able to drink alcohol, after that you and Charles added up the dots.
“She was saying she has a boyfriend on the phone, I heard Julie saying papa would be mad.”
You took a moment, so it was true, your daughter did have a boyfriend…
After getting Arthur out of the bath you decided to let him play with his toys in his room while you went to speak to your daughter, who still hadn't moved from her position on the couch. You decided to sit next to her and pry some information out of her before Charles got home.
“Soooo.” you said, pursing your lips, sitting across from her. She didn't even make the effort to look up at you, just a simple hum.
“Julianna.” you said sternly, that caught her attention as he raised her eyesight slightly.
“Yes, mother.” She sarcastically said, rolling her eyes at your use of her full name.
“Okay, if you want to be like that.” You said with a smirk, leaning over and switching off the phone and pushing it down onto the sofa.
“I just want to talk, you've seemed a bit… occupied at the moment.”
“I'm sorry I have friends.” she sarcastically said as she sat up, crossing her arms of her chest with a frown.
“Not only friends, I've been told you have a more than a friend.” You cringed as you said it, you were bad at this.
“That little shit! Authur told you he didn't.” she said, shocked.
“Language, missy! It doesn't matter who told me, but I want to know what's going on in your life, you can trust me.” You smiled, uncrossing her arms and talking her hand in yours.
“There's a boy…” she mumbled.
“Tell me, mon cheri.”
“He's not my boyfriend though.” You noticed the hit of sadness in her eyes as she looked down.
“It's silly, i know your going to tell me i'm too young-”
“I don't think you're silly, mon amour.” You said, pulling your arms open so she can rest her head on your shoulder.
“In fact, I probably understand more than anyone else.” you kissed the spot behind her ear, tucking her hair back as you could tell she wanted to listen to what had to say.
“You know, I was about, maybe fourteen when I fell in love with your father.”
She raised her head to look up at you, “Really?”
You nodded your head with a small smile at the time, “I don't think I knew at the time, but I always had a crush on the boy next door for as long as i could remember.”
“It took your father a little longer than me to realise he liked me back, he came and gate crashed my first proper date.”
“What?” She said with a smile as she begged you to tell her the story.
“Your father was such a romantic, he walked into the restaurant right as the mains came out and said there was a family emergency and he needed to take me home. Then we got in his car and I was all panicked wondering what the family emergency was and he just kissed me.” You couldn't stop the smile that formed on your lips as you told the story. It was all true, Charles had gate crashed your first proper date, and ever since you had both been inseparable.
“That's really sweet mum.”
“The point is, these things take time, especially love. I don't doubt your feelings for this boy if you say you have them, and if he feels the same he will show you sooner or later.” You smile at her, holding her closer.
“I really like him, mum.”
You were about to reply when Leo and Charles both stumbled through the door. You kissed Julianna on the head and stood up to see your husband smiling with slightly flushed cheeks and a bag of chocolate chips in his hands.
“How did your driving lesson go baby? You asked Leo, ruffling his long brown hair, the exact same way his father has it.
He just shot you a sheepish smile, shrugging his shoulders and he looked over to his father who smiled slightly.
“Hes- hes learning, that's all that matters.” Charles said as he looked at Leo with a smile.
When Leo walked off to his room Charles followed you into the kitchen, placing the chocolate on the side.
You waited for Leo to be out of ear shot before Charles burst out with giggles in the kitchen.
“Was it that bad?” You smiled as Charles placed his head on your shoulder.
“Mon dieu, i'm just happy to get home in one piece.” he laughed as he brought you into a hug.
You watched as Charles noticed Jules was still on her phone, but he didnt question it this time, he decided he was going to have a shower and get into bed.
After you had made the cookies for tomorrow you decided it was time for bed too, you decided to check on the kids before you did, leo was playing on his xbox and you could hear julie was on the phone in her room so you left her alone. You could hear faint giggles from your room so you knew you didn't need to check on Arthur since he and Charles were curled up in bed watching a movie.
You smiled as you jumped in the shower, leaving the boys to watch their movie and by the time you were done Arthur was fast asleep on charles.
Charles looked up at you with a cheeky smile.
“He's excited for tomorrow, I told him Pierre got a bouncy castle for the party.”
You leaned over and gave your husband a long kiss on the lips.
“What was that for?” he smirked.
You shrugged before you got under the covers, pulling your book from your bedside table and putting on your glasses.
Charles watched as you put the goddamn glasses on that he loved so much.
That's when he got out of bed, pulling Arthur up with him, probably to put him to bed.
“I will be right back.” Charles whispered with a wink.
“I'll be waiting.”
The next day it seemed like a struggle to get everyone up and out the house. Arthur was ready first with Charles as they were both sitting on the sofa watching the tv. Jules had gotten changed about seven times and Leo was upset that he couldn't drive the whole family to uncle perrie's house. Charles just replied to his son with an honest answer that we all did want to make it to the party in one piece. And on the down side you hadn't felt the best all morning.
After putting on a small yellow summer dress you were ready to step out into the Monaco sun.
Pierre had three children also, Noah who was around Leo's age, the pair got on really well, they reminded you of Pierre and Charles when they were younger, Noah even had pierres charm and witty humour. And then there was arlo who was six, with only a few months age difference between him and arthur the pair got on really well, and pierres new baby layla, who was turning one today.
After finally managing to get everyone in the car and to Pierre's house you could relax slightly more. Pierre and Charles stood in the garden by the bbq with beer in each hand while you sat on a chair lounger with a smile on your face as you held the birthday girl layla.
You were reminiscing when Arthur was this small, when his whole hand would fit into your palm, but your smile never faded when you looked to see Charles smiling over at you. You held up Layla's hand and waved at him, and he waved back, his heart fluttering seeing you with another baby.
“Please don't tell me you have baby fever? Thinking about popping out another one.” Pierre nudged charles.
“What, no.” Charles blushed.
“So, you're all done then?”
“I don't know, we've never spoken about having more.”
“Well judging by the smile on her face, she's already thought about it.”
When charles turned back around to look at you he noticed you making your way from the garden to indoors, you had mentioned all morning that you haven't felt well, he could only assume you was going to be sick, judging by the look on your face he handed pierre his beer and ran down to the bottom of the garden to the patio doors to pierres garden.
When he walked through the doors he bumped straight into your back.
“Mon amour, are you feeling okay?”
But you never answered Charles' question, instead you stood with your mouth wide open looking over to the sofas in the corner of the room.
After seeing your attention was else where charles turned around to see what you were looking at, but his face flushed red when he was his precious little girl and pierres stupid son with his tounge down her throat.
“Oh no!” Charles shouted, his hand falling from your shoulder as he pointed at the two teenagers that had just been caught.
“No fucking way in hell, get your hands of my daughter gasly!” Charles shouted as the two teenagers scrambled to make as far distance between them both as possible.
“Noah is the boy you told me about?” Your mouth had been agape the whole time, you were not expecting that.
“You knew?!” Charles turned to you, his face still flsuhed as there was steam practically coming out of his ears.
“Well i- I didn't know it was Noah she was talking about.” You shouted back at charles.
“You told your mum about me?” Noah smirked at Jules as she blushed a deep shade of red and put her head down.
“Mum, dad you're really embarrassing me.” she said through gritted teeth and wide eyes.
“Don't look at her like that gasly or I swear to god I'm going to-” But as Charles went to make his way over to the young boy who was standing still behind the sofa. Pierre had come in after hearing all the competition from outside, placing his hands on Charles' chest as he pushed him back before Charles could finish his sentence.
“Why are you shouting?” Pierre said to his friend, “What's going on?” he asked as he turned to you.
“What is going on? Good question pierre, what the fuck is going on, both of you!” Charles pointed to the two guilty teenages in the corner, that's when Pierre turned around and had figured out what was happening.
Pierre was trying to stifle his giggles as he looked at his son, his best friend's daughter and back to his best friend.
“No way! This is great, Jules is a great girl Noah, I'm happy for you!” Pierre exclaimed and turned to smile at you, you just nodded at the man with a smile. At least one of them was happy.
“What? No!” Charles looked back at Pierre who had a very contrasting reaction to him.
“He is not good enough for my daughter, no one is, Julianna get in the car, we're going home!”
“Charles.” you called, but he didn't hear you.
He was shouting and you had a massive headache, and also so much was happening all you could tell was he was acting very irrational right now.
“What do you mean not good enough for your daughter?” Pierre asked, offended as he stepped to charles.
“You know exactly what I mean. I know what you were like as a teenager, remember?”
“Charles-” you tried to interrupt.
“No y/n, i'm right. He's just like you, see that little smirk on his smug face, I know what he wants and he's not getting it from my daughter!”
“Dad!” Jules shouted from across the room as hers and Noah's face turned red.
“How dare you say that about my son!”
“I'm not wrong Pierre, you used to get through the girls when we were younger, I doubt he's no different!”
“Charles!'' You shouted his name one more time, however this time you caught the attention of Pierre who looked over charles shoulder to see you looking rather green with a hand over your mouth.
All of pierres attention suddenly turned to you as he cocked his head to the side and his eyes widened.
“Charles, I think she's going to throw up.” And with that Charles realised the reason he had abandoned his stop at the bbq to follow you in her anyway.
“Shit, mon amour, are you okay?”
You didn't reply, just shaking your head as you held your hand over your mouth and ran to the toilet.
Charles had gone to follow you to the toilet but then he noticed a hand around his daughters waist and his attention changed.
“HANDS OFF GASLY!”
And with that Noah's hands were in the air as Jules pulled him off of her, tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at her dad.
“I'm not your little girl anymore dad!” she shouted before running back outside.
Charles groaned as he ran to where he could hear you being sick in the toilet, he grabbed your hair and rubbed your back.
“Mon amour, what's going on?” he asked as he handed you some tissues to wipe your mouth.
“Charles, I need to tell you something.”
“I'm listening.”
“We're going to need a bigger car.”
Charles' expression dropped as his slight smile faded.
“Don't worry about that right now, you sick, okay? Once we get you home I'll buy you all the bigger cars in the world.” He smiled but you could see he thought you were delusional as he looked you head in his hands and kissed your forehead.
“No charles, we need a bigger car for an extra person.” you giggled.
“If this is about Noah, he's not coming home with us?” Charles shaked his head as he looked at you.
You laughed again at how clueless he looked, you took his hands in yours, “we need another car seat too.”
“We got Arthur a new one last month- Mon amour? Are you feeling okay?” Charles was getting a bit nervous now, you were making no sense to him.
You look at his hand that was in yours and placed it on your stomach.
“Charles, I'm pregnant.” you smiled at him as you whipped the dribble from your chin.
“Surprise.” you smiled, lazily waving jazz hands as you dropped against the wall of the toilet, your head hurting even more after throwing up.
“Are you sure?” Charles' eyes lit up as he leaned over closer, his hand still on your stomach.
You nodded as you looked down at his hand and placed yours on top.
“Another one?” Charles let out a laugh as tears welled up in his eyes.
You both laughed as he moved so he was next to you crouched against the wall and you placed your head on his shoulder.
“How long have you known?” he asked you, kissing your temple as he tried to stop the tears.
“I've known for a few days, since when we went for that meal with Carlos and Isa and I was sick.”
“I thought that was food poisoning?” Charles laughed.
“Yeah, apparently not. Insted we have a sixth member to add to our not so little family.” You giggled.
After what felt like a few moments in silence with Charles as he held your stomach, continually kissing your temple and head you spoke up, nursing your little bubble on the toilet floor of Pierre's house.
“Charles, you need to apologise to Pierre, Noah, and jules.”
Charles groaned as he threw his head back, “let me just stay in here with you for a minute.” he complained.
“Do I really have to apologise?” he asked you with a pout.
“Yes.”
Charles helped you to stand up as you both made your way out the bathroom, Charles could sense the angry looks from everyone at the party as he could see his daughter crying into her uncle carlos’ arms as he gave Charles a death stare.
“Go apologise to her.” you ushered him on, he gave your waist a small squeeze as he kissed your temple and looked in a deep breath.
“Will you be okay?”
“Charles, go.”
When Charles made his way over to Carlos who had his arms wrapped around julianna as she sobbed into his arms you sat down on the outdoor sofa. Rubbing your head as you sunk back into the pillows, you prayed this pregnancy would be an easy one, and hopefully your last.
Until there was a little cough that caught your attention.
It was little Noah with a glass of water in his hands and a very nervous smile as he ushered the glass towards you.
“Thank you, noah.” You smile as you take the glass from him.
“Could I please sit, y/n?”
“Of course you can sweetie.”
You liked Noah, you could understand where Charles was coming from, Pierre was a very typical teenage boy growing up, but you knew from Noah's parents that he had been brought with the morals to treat girls properly.
“Are you feeling okay?” The young boy asked you.
“I'm fine, dont worry about me, are you okay?” you asked him, rubbing his shoulder as you could see how tense he was.
“I'm really sorry, I didn't want to get jules in trouble.” you giggled slightly at the boy.
“No ones in trouble noah, just confused.”
“Charles- he can be scary when he's angry.”
You laughed again as you looked at the boy, “don't be scared of charles, he wouldn't hurt a fly. He's just protective of his little girl.”
There was a silence that loomed for a second as you both watched Julianna and Charles hug in the garden, a sign that they had made up.
“I really really like your daughter.” You turn and smile at Noah, the smell of young love radiating from him.
“I don't doubt your feelings, noah. But I am worried you both might be a bit young and naive. I know you don't want to hear that right now, but just be careful. We don't choose who we love, but we can choose who we hurt.”
And with that you engulfed Noah in a hug as he whispered to you a small thank you.
“First my daughter and now my wife, maybe I should take it all back.” You looked up to see your husband with a sheepish look on his face as Noah flushed red.
“Dad!” Jules shouted as she hit his chest causing him to moan a small sorry.
After that Noah sat up, shaking hands with charles.
“I'm here to be civil noah, you seem like a sensible young man, don't prove me wrong.” Charles nodded at Noah who replied with a ‘yes sir’ causing you to giggle.
“And if i see your hands on her again don't doubt that i won't-”
“Dad!” Jules repeated, “you said you wouldn't threaten him!”
Charles finally let go of Noah's hand, eyeing up the boy as he and Julianna walked off. He came and sat next to you on the outside deck, wrapping his arm around your shoulder as he kissed ur temple and quickly rubbed his hand over your stomach when no one was looking.
“Let's hope this one decides she doesn't want to get married until she's at least forty, or even speak to boys.” You giggled as charles moves his head closer to your stomach.
“You hear me, no boys!”
“How do you know it's a girl?”
“Oh it's a girl, I can smell the trouble from here.”
You laughed as you leaned into his shoulder.
“Did you make up?”
“We did.”
“They grow up so fast, y/n.” Charles sighed as he watched Leo think he was being discreet with his uncle Max as Max was letting him have a few sips of his beer, Arthur was jumping on the bouncy castle like he had been all day and Julianna was laughing with Noah in the corner.
“Well, we still have one more to enjoy, and athurs always going to be a momma's boy.” You shrugged as Charles turned to you.
“No way he's a daddy's boy.”
You laughed at Charles when you realised he was being serious.
“Oh no way, Arthur definitely loves me more.”
“At this moment in time Leo is my favourite.”
“Charles, you can't call favourites!”
“I can, and mine is leo.” charles smirked
You laughed as you snuggled up to your husband more, happy and content with your little chaotic family.
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc fic#Charles leclerc imagine#Charles leclerc fluff#Charles leclerc x reader#f1#f1 fandom#f1 x you#f1 fic#f1 drivers#dad!charles#dad!charles leclerc#Ferrari#carlos sainz
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Body Shots
How you found yourself on top of the counter in the Sunny having some type of liquor being poured into your belly button by none other than your very own green haired swordsman ? You could not remember for the life of you.
All of the cheering and the yelling from the crowd of pirates circled around you however, is giving you somewhat of a reminder of how you got here.
But now as the man sprinkles a small line of, what you could only guess as, salt across your torso. The implication of what he was about to do caused your heart to beat feverishly against your rib cage.
I am never drinking again. What in the world did I get myself int-
All thoughts were interrupted as Zoro positioned himself crouched above you. His hands palmed onto the counter on either side of you, leaning over to get in position.
Then any thought you even had in your brain was wiped out immediately as he tilted his head down and begs to lick the line of salt on your stomach. He started from the top of your belly button, dragging himself upwards. It was surprisingly soft and delicate and gentle. Most importantly, it was slow.
Zoro took his time licking you, and every nerve in your body erupted into flames. So much so that you barely heard the crowd around you burst into another roar of cheering. He knew how much this was undoing you, and he had the audacity to enjoy it. You stifled your groan.
You caught his eyes as he was halfway down the salt line. And surly enough you saw not only the drunken flush of his face, but the burning intensity behind his eyes.
You could have taken him right then and there.
The only restraint you had was from the over crowded kitchen, and that public indecency was not exactly your thing.
But even that slowly began to crumble. Between your locked eyes, and the heat of his body hovering over yours. Time began to slow, edging out every drop of your patience.
It was waning. Quickly.
Finally he reached the end of the salt line and broke his gaze from yours to move back down. He ever so gently placed his lips against your lower abdomen, drinking away the liquid he just poured onto you a moment ago.
You wonder if he could feel the tension in your body and how badly you didn’t want him to stop. You wonder if he could feel your need for him to go lower until he was between your parted legs with his head buried deep-
Yet another round of erupting cheers flooded the room. Within moments the both of you were pulled apart. People threw their arms around Zoro patting his chest and back and pulling him in for another proper shot. With others from your audience pulling you up from the counter to prep their own round of body shots. Another drink already being shoved in one hand, and your other being pulled away from center stage.
Everyone was cheering out on and laughing joyously as another set of people continued the activity. Though your mind and body still buzzing with the sensation of him, kept you unfocused. You looked around the quickly filling room once again as more and more people began to come inside, curiosity piquing their interests.
You need to find him, to at least lock eye once more.
To know that it wasnt just you who still felt the intensity, and how badly you wanted him.
Luckily it didnt take long to find him in the crowd once more, far on the other side of the room. As if on cue, your eyes meet once more and your question was answered.
He still felt it. There was no mistake in that look.
He only nodded and stalked towards the exit. You followed suit, though your gait was much more hurried and a grin was quickly beginning to spread on your face.
The both of you knew how this night was ending.
There goes any semblance of sleep tonight.
#vol lvl medium#is this how body shots work?#This was originally made for Sanji#but i think that zoro fit this scenario a bit better#op x reader#zoro#roronoa zoro#one piece x reader#one piece fanfiction
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i consider myself a certified Spamton Apologist bc i just. i think he only does the nasty things he does out of sheer desperation! i think that makes sense! hes in a very bad situation and theres something he wants more than anything. he has nothing left to lose! he will do Whatever It Takes to get that neo body!!!
maybe there was a time when he would never even consider doing the things he does in game, when he would think "no matter how bad it got, i could never do that" but over time he started to lose those morals, allowing him to jump at any opportunity he can find no matter how despicable
he Knows its bad! and Maybe theres a small part of him that doesnt want to, that wishes there was another way, but there is no other way. its the only chance he has so he takes it, regardless of whether or not he Really wants to. its all the means to an end, and itll be worth it in the end, right?
he seemed genuinely happy when he first revealed himself to kris in the neo body, but then he noticed the strings and realized it wasnt enough. he was already so close to freedom, if getting a lightners soul was the new last step he thought he needed, he couldnt back out. theres a lightner with a soul Right There and he has all the power in the world so might as well kill the kid who helped you if it means finally being free
noelle was the only person who ever read his emails and it meant so much to him he gave her a gift, something we can assume is extremely rare for him to do if "the worlds 1st charity" is anything to go by. but in the end, the chaos caused by her being forced to freeze everyone creates a perfect distraction for him to get into the basement so regardless of what he thinks of her, he enables it all. he has to take whatever chance he can get (also "oh he sold you the thorn ring hes bad!!" is dumb bc You as the player are the one killing ppl in the first place?? You literally started it hes just taking advantage of it smh. like No its not good that he does that but its also not good that youre doing it either???)
its all for freedom. he couldve had the strongest morals in the world but whatever happened to him throughout the years eroded away at them until he became willing to do whatever it takes to be free again
#spamton#tldr hes been through so much that he knows what he does is bad but cant afford to care bc hes too focused on gaining freedom again#deltarune#deltarune headcanon#bc technically. this is a hc. this is how i interpret his actions i dont think hes doin it for funsies#he doesnt sell you the thorn ring for no reason. its partly for revenge but mostly bc if you freeze everyone it makes his goal way easier#its ultimately to become neo. thats the same in both routes He wants to be neo!! by Any Means Necessary#headcanons#nerd time#ramble
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I think the vitriol for Boscha is weird, people claim they hate her because shes a bully, but then refuse to get annoyed at Amity or Skara, or ignore how teachers actively encouraged vicious behaviour. (they encouraged toddlers beating each other up like come on.)
Bullying is usually a bigger, more complex issue than just 'this one person being awful' its usually a combination of the bully, other students not caring or joining in, along with teachers and faculty not caring enough to discourage it.
like if your gonna say you care about bullying in media, at least call out how Skara stood there in ASPIS while Willow went 'we've all been misjudged' like Skara wasnt one of the people who joined in on said misjudging.
So… Explaining the vitriol towards Boscha is mostly… sad. So first I'm going to touch on you mentioning the teachers because it's actually a thing in S1 of TOH that everyone is kind of a terrible person and it's part of what makes the incidental world building in S1 fascinating. The most unique thing about TOH's world is that it values conformity, even conformity to being terrible and selfish, ABOVE lawfulness. Hence the Conformatorium.
That doesn't survive S2 of course, and especially not Elsewhere Elsewhen, but I digress.
As for Boscha's hate though… Someone said there's a trope called "A jerk is worse than a villain." And I immediately understood it. With a villain, they're often more over the top, they obviously are of importance and you know they'll be redeemed or defeated eventually (I'll actually get back to this).
With a jerk though… They can often feel too real or muted and like they don't have a reason to be doing what they're doing besides being mean. Boscha falls in this latter category (though she has her reasons to act the way she does). Nothing she does is actually that over the top. She is a perfectly well written, high school bully.
And this fandom is filled with a lot of eternally online teenagers who see themselves in Luz, if not AS Luz, especially with us being told Luz was bullied in the past. How many of them have known someone like Boscha? How many of them hate that person in real life? How many of them will never forgive those people? And how many people of those people who are fueled like that are one step away from becoming bullies themselves once they find someone less powerful than them so they can feel in control and not helpless anymore?
Now… There is a good question for "Why didn't this happen with Amity?" Because Amity was a bully, right? Well… She only gets one real line of being a bully and that's her mocking of Willow right when we meet her. After that, for that episode, she's a villain. She's entertainingly over the top to the point of easily selling how much this all matters to her.
Which then makes her actions in Covention feel more justified because Luz is on her shitlist. HOWEVER, this was also the dividing point for her. If she hadn't been obviously on the road to redemption with sympathetic excuses (because they are excuses but realistic ones, especially for a teenager) for her behavior by the end of the episode, I imagine a lot more people would have either taken longer to warm up to her or never forgotten she was a bully. Never been willing to let that go. But after Hooty's Moving Hassle, she… Never does anything bad to another person. All of her edge is gone by then and more often than not, bad things are happening to her as part of the show's revisionism to make her seem like she was never a bad person.
Boscha never got that. Nothing she ever did was that over the top except wanting to use Luz as target practice. That's really it. She was never given blatant excuses, even if you can read into why and possibly even the how (Thanks Amity) for why she is as she is. And this fandom likes its face value choices a lot more than taking it one step further and figuring out what it all implies together. The grander picture.
Because Boscha is a fascinating, well rounded, TRAGIC character if you take everything that has happened, what her friends growing up must have been like, especially with Amity as her best friend, etc. like that. Is she still mean? Absolutely. She's still a bitch and I wouldn't want her to lose her edge like Amity even if she were properly redeemed. But there's a lot there… That probably wouldn't have lasted if she'd been given attention because of how TOH does its arcs because both Hunter and Amity are all about "That first episode was a lie. Now let us make sure you forget it except for Twitter posts praising our character development."
But unfortunately, without that attention… Boscha is still the bully that the fandom can put their own problems and damages onto and she'll never be saved from that. Similar things could have been said for how people treated Odalia and Alador between Seasons 1 and 2 instead of trying to see where they may be coming from.
And it all is kind of a shame, especially when I think Boscha is only so good because she DIDN'T get care and attention put into her. She's a fluke. Like most of the great side characters in the show. Love to Viney as always.
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hello. im not sure what im looking for, i would say advice but for what exactly, i don't know. i guess just a place to vent.
trigger warning for suicidality, existentialism (? dread), derealization
im not sure where to start. ive felt alone for a long time, have been for what feels even longer. even when i had people around me and with me, ive always felt alone. ever since i can remember ive felt like i wasnt meant to be here. more recently ive been wishing i was somewhere else, not dead but somewhere easier. i wish i was never born and that my soul stayed in the stars.
i feel like alone doesn't begin to describe what im feeling. doesn't even come close. i feel like im finally letting go of my longing even just a little. im beginning to find comfort in being all alone in the world. im accepting that ive never been important, because nothing is. no one is. nothing even makes sense and it never has to me. ive never understood god or why im here. why i can think and feel. i don't even really believe anything is real, because how could it be when in millions of years from now, we wont exist anymore? when all everythings ever been is lost to space? when we dont even come close to mattering in the universe? so i don't think its real. there are no answers to the universe to be found. i just hope that when i die i can be up there in the nothingness.
Hi anon,
It makes sense after these experiences to want to embrace the loneliness, but while it's important to be independent and self-reliant, its also important to consider the unity, solidarity, and belonging that can come with having someone beside you. Humans are social creatures, and in a lot of ways it's necessary to survival.
It can be easy to slip into nihilistic thought patterns when you feel so isolated and alone. There are also a lot of bigger existential questions that are either impossible for us to answer or comprehend as human beings, and it can be hard to make peace with that.
As someone who experiences existential dread, please know that you're not alone in having these thoughts about the bigger picture. If it might help to mention, I try to reframe "everything is fleeting" as "meaning is made in moments that only happen once." Instead of worrying about things like the end of the universe, you can use that to develop a renewed perspective on how precious the present is.
Anthony Hopkins once said, "None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an afterthought. Eat the delicious food, walk in the sunshine, jump in the ocean, say the truth that you're carrying in your heart like hidden treasure, be silly, be kind, be weird, there's no time for anything else."
It's worth keeping an eye on any suicidal thoughts, and reach out to crisis resources if you need it. If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist could help you navigate these existential and suicidal thoughts, and process the feelings surrounding them. Please know that, while we are not a substitute, we are here for you in the meantime.
If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.
-Bun
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ahh ok i been needing to talk abt this somewhere since i could process what happened 😭 basically i was with this guy in a public place where we was just chillin.. (not gunna give more details cus i dont want people ik possibly finding this 😭) and we had like the shortest tword fight ever-? more explanation under the cut-
ahh ok so i was at this place with this guy i knew. we hadnt talked in like weeks even tho we had each others numbers and socials-were jus both super awkward- anyway we had been hanging out in a waiting area of this one place and he had stretched over to get something, and keep in mind before this he was being the biggest little shit i think ive ever come across- like he lowkey reminds me of me, if i was a guy 😭
so anyways he reaches over and jus for funsies and possible hopes he would do it back i poke his side 😀
when i tell you he shot back up and immediately got me back by shoving his hands into the crooks of my neck i mean it 😭 it was literally so unexpected and it tworded so much 😭😭😭 i was fighting back and we had gotten into like a 10 second tword fight before we were stopped- i- i genuinely dont know how to feel because since it was only 10 seconds it left so much more up to my imagination- we were on this couch thing and he had me under him fucking digging into my neck- i wanna start hanging out w him more both because when were together were absolutely unstoppable like we could probably take over the world if we wanted to but also because i wanna see how far he would go- as scary as it was, i havent had physical contact like that in so long that i am craving either wrecking someone to pieces or getting wrecked to pieces myself 😭
uh anyway- yeah thats the story- OH WAIT ACTUALLY THERE WAS LIKE A LITTLE EXPERIENCE LIKE RIGHT BEFORE THAT
ok so short little thing but he wanted me to listen to his music, but one thing abt me, i dont like wearing other peoples airpods n stuff like that. so after i told him i can just connect mine we got into a little fight where he was over me again and had pinned one of my arms up toward the wall- when i tell you i had never been so flustered by something that probably wasnt even intentional- i was half fighting him back and half thinking *omfg he could absolutely wreck me rn if he wanted-* i ended up winning that one tho 💪💪💪
anyway thats it- uh- sorry 💀💀
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alright sonic prime thoughts (spoilers ahead)
OH MAN WHERE DO I EVEN START????? i didnt expect the bad future world to be like. the main backdrop and motivator for the plot, i thought we were gonna get like. one or two episodes at most to take place in the bad future world. and the rest of the episodes would've taken place in different universes and just be episodic. i didnt expect there'd be an actual story going on throughout this whole show!!!
AND HOLY SHIT, THE BAD FUTURE WORLD. i did not expect for it to get this dark in a modern sonic product approved by sega. the most tragic part about this world, beyond nines (tails) whole deal and relationship with sonic and where it went, was with rusty rose (amy). i knew she'd be roboticized, but i'd never guess she'd stay the villain. i'd assume from the advertising that she'd be on sonic's side the whole time, but ig it was only because nine hacked her to join sonic's side for a whole episode or two??? hell, i didn't expect amy's character to get so many antagonistic roles for like. a good half of these universes for sonic to hop into. she's sonic's bestie!!!!! i did NOT expect to see the worst happen to her, im pleasantly surprised.
i think the most. darkest thing i've ever seen was in the first/second episode when sonic asks rusty "do you even have a heart???" and rusty responds "yes. i do" and she opens up her chest and you see a barely breathing, dying flicky in there like. HOLY SHIT. i did NOT expect for this show to get so dark. and for what??? a kids show??? if i were like. 5 or 6 and a huge sonic fan, this defo would've scared me shitless (even more dark that you later find out. amy had this EXACT SAME FLICKY IN THE NORMAL UNIVERSE & JUNGLE UNIVERSE AS HER PET, LIKE. FUCK, MAN)
they made tails character and relationship with sonic so much more interesting through nine, like. Finally, a show that actually takes a look at sonic more interpersonal relationships and realistically tests them to their core, especially since nine's not keen for friendship or getting along with others. and he was willing to give it another try and even help his new friend sonic. but after he shows him a dark world that's a cold, empty slate and wants to start it over, but sonic tells him that he has to go save his bad future world pals, nine. doesnt actually go with sonic. tails always follows sonic, through thick and thin, but this is the first time i remember that. he says no. nine still wants to live and make a world safe from the chaos council and be friends with sonic, but sonic's deterministic and heroic to save people that don't even know him all that well (even if they look familiar to his other friends). which is in sonic's good spirit, but nine barely knows these people. yes, it's the right thing to do to save them, but what would they give him in return??? he's not sonic, someone who he personally helped after being told that he saved him first in an alternate universe. so, i thought this was all very interesting
speaking of, the chaos council is so much fun. i dont think they are related by familiar relations, i just think mr dr eggman time traveled and picked up versions of himself from different points in his time, or he just. cloned them, so he wouldn't be alone when he rules sonic's world. i especially love the extremely violent baby and the edgy gamer kid eggmen, i thought the old man eggman &. japanese culture enjoyer eggman were pretty fun additions too
i'll be honest, while i'm glad this show finally gave tons of stuff for tails & amy & big to do, i felt like. what they did with knuckles wasnt too particularly strong??? we either get Serious Protector of Angel Island Knuckles or boom!knuckles again. and while i love boom!knucks & Serious Knucks, i would've loved a more strong characterization of him that actually developed as a result of sonic, because i thought that was the direction the show was taking (first one focused on tails, then one focused on amy). but instead they made knuckles the main one for the pirate world. and i like pirate knuckles enough. ig i thought him getting obsessed over a gem like halfway through the pirate world was pretty rushed and not given too much time even if it did take up two half-hour episodes. and rogue, hasn't really been given too much to do, despite appearing in every alternate universe at this point. maybe in season 2 or 3 she gets her whole own arc with sonic
i was also surprised we didn't see shadow at all in any of these alternate universes, like. at first i liked the idea that shadow never showed up in the bad future world, because the eggmen ruled unopposed, that they never needed to wake him up from his chamber for a last minute resort. that novelty sort of rolled off when he. never appeared in any of the alternate universes??? even tho this version of shadow was simply established as sonic's rival, as he is in fact the reason sonic was so late to catch up with his buds in the inciting incident that lead to all of this. in fact, shadow only showed up in flashbacks or as holograms that followed sonic whenever he sonic boomed. he didn't even show up in full again until the last episode on a cliffhanger. so, hopefully we'll see alternate universe versions of shadow following this. or just more shadow in season 2, where he's more relevant to the plot than. being indirectly responsible for the inciting incident
beyond that, i just really enjoyed these batches of episodes that dropped, and i really do hope we get more and see how this story ends (hopefully in a satisfying way)
#rubys clown thoughts#sonic prime spoilers#i may have to rewatch these episodes again soon but for now. yea i liked this
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So were back. Behold, another one of my children
Bask in its glory
Im calling this one,
My Fault
And man its full of ✨angst✨
Its more of a time divergent then a full on universe alternate, but it happens after Pogtopia so i feeeel like it can go anyyywhere.
We start on a rooftop, a wind flies by, nipping at the two people standing there.
Tommy glances at Wilbur, but the man still doesn't look at him. Eyes and ears on Tubbo and Tommy doesnt know what to think of it. He knows what Wil is waiting for but he wouldnt really blow up L'manburg, right? This is WIL we're talking about! This is the man who founded the damn place! This was his home! This was Tommy's home...
"... Let the festival begin!"
Wilbur ran off, needing no prodding, and Tommy almost ran after him but Tubbos voice raises above the wind and Tommy looks back. His breathing stops as his best friend is being pushed against the lectern. Tommy turns back to Wil expecting him by his side. Instead, he finds him climbing over the crest of the hill. Trying to find the stupid button and Tommy surprised himself by not feeling disappointed.
Maybe...
Maybe he already knew Wil wasnt the good guy anymore.
AND BAM! THATS WHERE IT STARTS
Cause u know how Tommy always was like "Wilbur wouldnt do that, hes too pogchamp! Mememe" Until like the END! So im thinking that we speed it up a bit >:D And by doing this the next series of events happen
Tommy keeps a closer eye on Wilbur, which is fantastic! Because imagine all those fluff/mostly angst convos we could haveee (Tommy sees one of Wils letters?!)
Tommy, being more focused on Wil, realizes way before that Wil isnt with them before the Wither battle. (Might hafta change around the timeline a bit because we cant not have Techno give his Thesus speech)
Now this is where it gets real
Because Tommy realizes where Wilbur must be, he goes out and finds Wilbur before Phil and tries to talk him down (✨angst✨) surprise surprise, it doesn't work. Cue Phil! Who, Tommy leaves to talk to Wil, and then goes out to warn his peeps about the bombs (maybe he hears the wither battle end and wants to go check)
BUT in order to get to them he takes a short cut over the hill. Right across the bomb field (thu he doesnt know it). He sees Tubbo and waves as he starts to run over.
"...it was never meant to be."
And the bombs go off.
There's a part where Wilbur looks over the crater and at the people on the other side. (Right after this he asks Phil to kill him.) Then he sees Tubbo stock still, follows his gaze, and then stills himself. On the edge of the crater is a body. White and red, a lot more red then there used to be. He falls to his knees.
Tommy never made it across.
SO Wil doesnt end up dying but Tommy does.
"That cant be Tommy! I couldnt have-! I wouldnt-! Why did he have to come back for me!" Wil cant breath, he cant breath. "Heh ha, so it wasnt Schlatt that killed you or Dream or even Eret. It was me. OF F@#KING COURSE IT WAS ME!"
His vison had gotten blurry and he laid his forehead on the ground, still on his knees, as his arms wrapped around his chest. Why was just breathing suddenly so hard?! His chest burned and his vision was blackening around the edges.
"its my fault."
This wasn't how it was supposed to go!
Tommy was supposed to live, mess around with Tubbo, Live in a world without Schlatt. Tommy living out his days in peace! Like how he always talked about. That was the way it was going to go, that was the right way.
But then, when did it ever go right for Wilbur Soot?
Unbidden his eyes found the his body again. At the same moment he could hear his own voice, or maybe it was the person who said it first (either way, it was the voice of a traitor)...
"It was never meant to be."
Wil then goes into one of those classic, im letting myself go and hygene doesnt matter, what is shaving? What is a sun? Oh, you mean that bright ball in the sky that i saw last week?
People try to talk him, Phil being one of the only to get thru, it is a slow process.
The only one that got him to go outside is ✨Quackity✨, Frenemies am i right?
So Wil finally goes out, takes a good long walk, has some self-care for once when. Oh wowie zowie! What is that in the distance!
Hopefully, it's not my dead brother who died a brutal death, because of me, and has now been reincarnated as a ghost who doesn't remember anything from Pogtopia making me realize even more so how bad a person i was to you and whose mere presence would probably send my only just rising mental state down the drain, sending my self-care with it because now I'll feel like i have to overwork myself for you so that i can fulfill my need to make up for everything i put you through even though ur just his ghost and i cant help you anymore because youre dead and i cant bring you back...
...
Anyway, that's exactly who he is.
And thats my au! I feel like this can go multiple ways like maybe we bring the revive book in?
Im heading to bed, garsh i feel like an old lady, but im ready for sleeep! Good night!
#dream smp#dream smp au#Angst#Fluff maybe?#2#Ill more into the fluff later#Leave me and my grandma habbits alone#tommyinnit#wilbur soot#my art
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[ UNREAD MESSAGE FROM "Jonah! ❤️💛". READ ? ]
"hey ces
i know this is a random text but i wanted to do it now before i lost the chance to. i dont really know where to start so sorry this is gonna be really messy haha
im sorry for letting all that alternate stuff happen to you. i hope that things got better. i hope youre yourself again and youre happy like you were before. you deserve to be that same happy dude that i met about a year ago
ii dont know if youre still an alternate but i wanted to send this anyways. i guess if youre human again than its just about you me and thatcher left..! crazy right? started out as normal kids and now we're pretty much the only people left alive in mandela besides a few others hiding away
... it really isnt crazy, is it? its fucking sad. it makes me sad, anyways.
i wish there was a world where we could both just be friends with everyone else and everything was fine. hell, i wish we could spend one day together - all of us - where none of this mattered anymore. but thats too late, i guess . everyones either dead or gone.
and if you are an alt then im so sorry. im sorry they took you like they took everyone else. its not fair that this happened to you and um .. while im still kinda scared of you because of what you did that night i know it wasnt your fault. its not. dont think it was ever ever ever ok?
and im sorry that i never got to talk to you more. i guess i learned my lesson getting caught up in all that shit a while ago and never having a chance to check up on you.
you are a good friend. alternate or not, all you ever wanted was the best for someone else and it was awesome hanging out with you. you made things fun and i wish i could have checked up on you more like you did for me when i needed it. you helped me a lot then. i just wish i could repay it back to you.
i hope we can talk again soon and i hope that everything went well for you. it has to - they couldnt have been lying when they told us there was light somewhere. we just have to find it, cesar.
talk to you soon,
Jonah :)"
...
Hmmm. Jonah, Jonah, Jonah.... Always so hopeful, aren't you? Poor thing, hasn't even received the news....
Dave can wait. I wasn't interested in a body, anyway.
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i don't think orochimaru's kids are 100% clones, I think there's a mix of different dna there, so no, I don't think their kids would also be... his... (at least I think so....) but do tell more about this OC!!
THANK YOU! I have no desire to watch Boruto to gather information for minimal stuff when I don't even like Canon leading up to the war arc so bless your heart
The OC is the child of one of Saradas kids (So Sasuke-> Sarada-> her kid -> oc) and now with ur clarification I can ignore my impulse to make her one of Orochimarus kids kids and add that extra generation in there that I wanted.
She's eccentric and loud and doesn't have much of a filter so she's 1) not great Shinobi material so she never received any (OFFICIAL) training and 2) doesn't have a lot of friends so she does cling to her mentor figures a lot. Unfortunately for those around her her mentor figure is Orochimaru and she's very happy to be a test subject as long as she also gets unbarred access to all the information coming out of that. He's mostly stopped the vivisection and human experimentation by now and is winding down wrt "wah wah I wanna be immortal to learn everything" because he's coming to realize there is no way he COULD know everything because of the inherent ability of humans to be creative and inventive.
ANY WAY
Orochimaru lives pretty much the same way he did circa Naruto Era so she does as well not really important just a note.
SO.
one day she gets sick of something coming up from the "outside world" and just bemoans that she can't go back in time and fix some shit so that the world here was different. Orochimaru chastises her because if she went back in time she would never be able to see how she had affected the future because she has no desires for immortality and he's nearing the end of his tolerance for it.
So she's thinking thay night as she's sorting through stuff to do the next day and she goes. Well I am a seal master in training... I do have all this knowledge and abilities... I could ask for a research access pass to the Nidaime and Yondaime time space seals... hmmm
Long story short she goes back in time after convincing Orochimaru no no this is TOTALLY a good idea imagine the studies we could write.
She overshoots by a couple dozen years.
The Warring States period. Which neither of them have any knowledge of actually living in. This w9uld be fine they could adapt and figure it out. IF. SHE HAD ANY IMPULSE CONTROL WHAT-SO-EVER. AND OROCHIMARU WASNT NOW INTERESTED IN WATCHING HER TRAIN WRECK THE TIMELINE.
She seals away Zetsu. Fucks around and finds out. Ykno. The usual. She's having a grand old time. Minor issue.
To seal away Zetsu she had to pretty much get into the Uchiha compound bcus that's where he was lurking when she go a feel on him.
Major issue.
She and Orochimaru got caught.
Even more major issue. Instead if letting Orochimaru fight or talk their way out of it she blurts out "WE'RE FROM THE FUTURE I HAVE PROOF."
Chaos ensues. She whispers secrets on he knows to Madara and secrets only he knows to Izuna. They are forced to beleive that she is either an exceptional spy willing to work for them or that she's telling the truth.
Orochimaru is pretty much just like. watching that all unfold. waiting for the split second time frame he'll have to yank them out of there should things go south.
However apparently Izuna is far too fascinated by this and insists on not harming them and picking their brains for info. Orochimaru has to cope with this. He's stuck there. He has invested way too much time and effort and (eugh) affection into helping raise and inevitably taking in (vague mumbles a name).
Hijinks.
#can you tell itd a very unformed idea.#why is it every time someone actually asks abt an oc i havent named them yet...
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DLCs are inherently shit always, literally everytime, there has never been a good DLC released for a game. i play games the way i watch movies, you might think i play a lot of games or a play them frequently but this is just not true, when i do actually decide to try a game, or watch a movie, its only after word of mouth has reached me that this is amazing and even then its only some of the time, im picky, ill admit, but what ends up happening is when i DO watch a movie or play a game and it hits with me, i talk about it passionately. as a result of this, ive been “lucky” enough to only have been exposed to some of the best most widely regarded DLCs in gaming history and i have without fail hated every single one. the first DLCs i ever got my hands on were the bloodmoon expansion and tribunal that came with the morrowind GOTY edition, i gush endlessly about morriwind its one of the greatest of all time, it might actually just be the best game ever made its close, and i remember when i got the GOTY edition with two entirely brand new landmasses to explore i was thrilled, for about five minutes and then i just went back to the mainland, ive played the entirety of both DLCs and beyond the functionality that was added in the form of enemy HP bars, and a difficulty slider i completed the DLCs just to say i did and i was bored the whole time, both mournhold and aww fuck what is it? solstheim thats it, both of these brand new landmasses felt ERIE to explore, they were supposedly connected to the main game which i loved, but they felt like their own pocket dimension because they fucking are lol, but its beyond that, it feels like fan fiction it feels like starwars extended universe bullshit, they felt like mods. my next encounter with DLC’s were in fallout new vegas, and this is another contender for best game of all time, and i ran into the exact same issues, whenever i wasnt exploring the main map of newvegas and was instead exploring one of the sectioned off DLC areas i only wanted to return, whatever made you initially fall in love with the game, the characters, the setting, the atmosphere, hell even the gameplay style would be tossed out the window for something that was meant to feel brand new, but what you get instead is four disjointed sort of minigames that arent big enough or fleshed out to be proper sequels but also had basically no bearing on the world you spent most of your time playing in. of the four dlcs, honest hearts is the only one i can stomach and its the one with the lowest reputation because guys who like DLC have very very bad taste in general, the fact that either dead money or the divide are rated above honest hearts is a travesty, old world blues i can sort of get even though its reddit tier cringe and feels more like a mod than all the others combined. even in games like rimworld where DLC should work, hey more items and shit whats not to love, they always fuck it up buy making the bulk of the new content thematically different from the main game i guess to make it feel special but often times it ruins the game. with the DLC content rimworld might already be in the modern terraria “ive got too much shit on me zone” where so much crap got added that was thematically inconsistent with the initial setting and premise of the game that it feels muddied and washed out. i literally racked my brain trying to think of one good dlc and couldnt find one, i settled on rimworld but i realized that the dlcs were so incongruous with the initial concept of the game as a space western colony sim that the moment they came out is the moment i had a serious drop in my interest for its development. none of this is important or consequential but i just needed to say it somewhere.
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hi!! this is a cautionary post for the batman fans that may or may not find me as i reblog shit here and there! ill make a new one for every fandom phase i go through but this is its first iteration!
1: im 18! ill sometimes reblog explicit text posts or suggestive content. this wasnt a problem before, and it might stop being a problem at some point, but ive found good content of this type as of late, and i just cant say no to it. (hamilton joke, etc etc.)
2. i dont know the terminology, really, but i do support some problematic ships here or there. er, well. hrm. how do i say 'romanjay is fucked up but they intrigue me' and 'i will never reblog or like anything involving bruce and the other younger bats but ill scroll past it without any real disdain'? basically ive settled for a vibe of 'live and learn, chill out and hush up'. i do enjoy batfam content (though i dont exactly consider them family, but thats a whole different can of worms) but no matter what i consume on my end (however guiltily) ill never put anything that joins the batfam and romance in the same concept. i will, however, reblog some of the bats together. mostly steph with any of them, as to me, shes kind of free game (in that she is Even More not "part of the family", even if shes still bruces kid-again, different can of worms) and a LOT of jason ships. and dick/tim, mostly because jayde and them for some reason go together hand in hand in a lot of fics. SPEAKING OF WHICH. thats one of my problematic favs; i adore jason/slade in ways i will never be able to communicate. yes, the age gap is Like That. it feels irrelevant for them, though, and i could not explain to you the Why even if i tried. ill also post jaytim, maybe jaydick, and. erm. no thats kinda it. damian is off limits to me, also.
3. good news, ill probably only ever make jayde content! and found family essenced batfam content, if its shit i actually want the world to see. jaytim is a maybe, at best, and to me they arent even exactly brothers. regardless, i want to make this post to inform people who come to my blog that i consume/create content they find distasteful. and for my last point,
4. ok the first version of this point was way more. combative. which was exactly what i dont want to be. related, this part is about my ResponseTM. and the reason for this post. i dont want to be loud about what i like because i know people find it bad. like...like enjoying noncon, and omegaverse, stuff like that. i get that people dont like those the way i do sometimes. and i dont want people to think im something im not. if you want to run for the hills the second you see this post, then alright! thank you for your time! i dont want you all to think im better than i am. if you think i suck, thats ok, i just dont want you to think i suck after liking me a lot for a long time, because that sucks like, 3 times harder. you know? im still getting over a guilty conscience for liking any of this stuff myself, and ill gladly explain myself, but its, of course, none of my business if you hate me. thats your job, ill be me, and i wont try to make you not hate me unless you want me to. capiche? sick.
OK that is the end of the informative 'watch out kids grannys got freaky shit in her closet' post!! hope you had fun, or figured out you didnt want to affiliate w me, either or is fine! ill go slink off to my jayde doc to think abt jason in lace (but what if it was nonsexual) again lmao
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Oh here's another one. My 6th grade graduation. I had a dress for this one though. Except no one showed up for this either. I had maybe a max of 5 leis because I had 3 teachers in my class thay year because it was the biggest class. And like 2 from my friends' parents. Everyone else had leis up to their eyes. This day I vividly remember walking home in that dress with 5 leis that I put in my bag. I don't remember if I cried or anything. I know I'm crying now just thinking about it. I've been to every single one of my cousin's graduations but no one came to the first and last one I ever had.
That's probably why I didn't finish high school. Because I knew my graduation wouldn't matter. Plus my parents didnt care enough. Thought I was independent and disciplined enough to do online schooling instead. Look where that put me.
Another one is probably the camping trip from 5th grade as well. My dad dropped me off that morning. I remember him being annoyed because I had to be there early for the bus. That field trip was so fun even though I did get hurt. My dad's friend that was living with us at the time picked me up. I don't remember much after getting into his car and getting home. I wasn't close with this friend at all so it was a silent ride home even though I really wanted to talk about the field trip. I don't think I talked to any adults about that field trip. Only people I talking about it with was my friends at the time. I wasn't asked why I had a huge bandage on my leg either. I know I cleaned it and redressed it by myself when I got home too.
Another one was in the 8th grade. I think this is when the depression started to kick in and I didn't even know at the time. One of my very best friends moved away and for a week straight I just locked myself up in my room and cried even though I didn't know why I was just so sad. As I got older I realized I was upset because my one of my best friends moved away i was never going to see her again. And I didn't know how to say I was sad about that. Because I remember thinking to myself "it's just someone moving away. Why are you so sad about it. You have other friends." And these were full on sobbing crying sessions. For a week straight. No one asked me why I was crying.
9th grade. My last year at the high-school. My best male friend since 4th grade got a girlfriend and she didn't like me at all and so that friendship ended. My other girl best friend and I got into a dramatic fight about God knows what in the rain. I walked home that day fucking crying. I remember walking into the house soaking wet and the first thing I heard someone say was "don't bring the rain in" like I had a fucking choice.
I got asked out as a fucking joke because, and these were the exact words, "someone had to take one for the team". That lasted a week because teenagers are stupid and can't keep their mouth shut. So when I found out I ended it and came home crying that day too. But hey. No one cared because my mom tried to kill herself after finding out my dad was cheating on her. Which they tried to hide but i wasnt stupid then. I just pretended to not notice because i knew they were hiding it from me. This is probably why I'm deathly afraid of any type of relationship other than friendship. This is probably why I hyper fixate on fictional characters so much. Not to mention when I turned 18 and my dad started the divorce process straight up told me he ONLY stayed with my mother because he did not want to pay child support. Lmao like how the hell do you tell that to your child and not expect it to fuck up their entire view of the world.
I think my family just didn't say anything because 1: they were too busy with their own lives and 2: just thought I was being a teenager.
Jfc. These aren't even everything. These are just the ones that stand out to me when I think about my childhood.
I really thought I just had a normal childhood. But reading what I've been writing made me fully realize that I did not in fact have a normal childhood. I had a very fucked up childhood and turned me into whatever the hell sad human being I am today. Lovely.
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