#one of those apparently my life experiences were not universal questions
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If you’re comfortable with it, tell me who said it and if you remember what you were laughing about
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Real vs Unreal 🤯
Jade has been in the LOA community for over a year now. It opened her up to many different possibilities, such as shifting to the MCU (Marvel Universe) where she is a superhero with super strength, super speed, and the ability to fly.
Everyday when she wakes up, and before she goes to bed, she does an intense visualization of this reality. Each time she does it, her "current reality" seems to disappear, until she opens her eyes. She knows that she's so close yet so far from shifting there! She decides to go on Tumblr and ask for advice.
She comes across some intriguing ND posts that say "You must collapse the duality between physical vs imagination and real vs unreal" and "All experiences are the same, no matter the label. Seeing a car in a 'daydream' is no different than seeing one 'in real life.'"
This seems to be different than what she learned from LOA, with the existence of a 3D/4D and 'fulfilling your imagination until it shows up in the physical.' She sends a blogger a question out of curiosity.
"Hi! I know that this is not a shifting blog, but I wanted clarification on a few things. For over a year now, I've been trying to shift to the Marvel Universe, where I'm a superhero with powers. Everyday I do a visualization where I am experiencing these things. I just saw your post that says all experiences are the same, and how seeing something in imagination is the same as real life. Does this mean the whole time I was visualizing myself in that reality, I was already experiencing that? It was real? I also want to know how imagination and physical are the same. Thank you." She inquired.
The blogger responds with, "Yes you already experienced it. The reason why there's no physical vs imagination is because your awareness, your true nature, is present during all appearances that come and go. We've just labelled certain appearances real or not real based on certain ideas we picked up through life. For example, many people think that experiences are only real when you are awake and you seem to be living through the 5 senses. They were also taught that things like fairies, dragons, supernatural abilities aren't real, so when they hear stories about people experiencing those things, it's a huge shock for them. But in reality, nothing is objectively real or unreal, all experiences are possible for awareness. You (as awareness, THAT, or " ") are the ONLY thing that is truly real. As the ultimate authority, only you can decide what is "true" for you or not."
Jade decides to take some time to really think about what this blogger said. Everything they said is a complete 180 from what Jade thought she knew about life and how reality works. So that means this entire time, she was already in the MCU? And the MCU is apparently just as real as what Jade calls "real life?" That is truly an interesting concept to ponder! The one thing that has Jade stumped, however, is the fact that she opens her eyes and continues to see her old life. She goes back to the blogger to ask about this.
"That's really interesting how I already experienced being in the MCU! So this technically means I can tell someone I "shifted" there, and they couldn't accuse me of lying? Also, I'm a bit confused on why whenever I open my eyes after visualizing, I still see my old life," She questioned the blogger.
"To answer your first question, no, they can't accuse you of 'lying' because that was a valid experience for you. The idea that you have to experience "shifting symptoms" or enter the void state to "experience another world" is limiting, and creates a barrier between you and whatever you want to experience. This is no disrespect to that community, if they want to "shift" or "enter the void state" to experience things, that is totally up to them. But ND is about not labelling experiences, and not treating them as if they are separate from you. All experiences are yours. It's natural for you, as an omnipotent being, to experience whatever you want instantly. As for why your "old life" continues to appear, there is no old life. There's no experience A turning into experience B, it's all nothingness. You said you visualized being in the MCU, have you noticed that the "old life" seems to disappear and you're totally focused on the visualization? That's because the "old life" never was in the first place!" The blogger explained.
That response made everything click for Jade. She finally feels free enough to experience the MCU universe or any other universe whenever she wants! "Thank you so much! This was very helpful and empowering!" She thanked the blogger.
And so Jade became the superhero she always wanted to be.
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BTW… re: Smut
... off my comment to this post the other day...
I'm an entertainer. Writing's a form of entertainment. (And not just for the readership: for me, too.) To be aroused by art one's experienced is (almost by definition) to be entertained, I'd say. If someone's jerking off to my erotica, then all I can do is lean back in the typing chair, smile a bit, and think, Good! I got the job done. :)
(...with the tags: #and no I'm not going to let on where the smut is#why would i deny anyone the delights of the search#and of being repeatedly mistaken#while possibly finding smut writers who're better at it than i am#:) ...)
...and then noting (with affectionate amusement) some responses:
Well, troops, better get busy filling in that bingo box. 😄
Also: I have to say (while stressing that I absolutely appreciate the humor behind "shocked, shocked, scandalized...") that the dissonance is, temporally speaking, a bit ill-founded. Because while I may be best known for the Young Wizards works these days... by no means did they come first. This did.
A soft chuckle in the darkness. “Lorn, remember that first time we shared at your place?”
“That was a long time ago.”
“It seems that way.”
“—and my father yelled up the stairs, ‘What are you dooooooooing?’
“—and you yelled back, ‘We’re fuckinnnnnnnnnnng!’”
“—and it was quiet for so long—”
“—and then he started laughing—”
“Yeah.”
Granted, from the here-and-now POV of readers with access to the hot-'n'-spicy shipfic or PWP on AO3, this sort of thing (and the numerous other lights-often-off or dialogue-only sexytiems passages in the traditionally published Middle Kingdoms works) would be seen as pretty small beer: soft, non-edgy stuff. Yet in 1979 apparently there were those who found the sex and sexualities on display in The Door Into Fire arresting enough that the book got me nominated for the Astounding Award (for best new author in the field) two years in a row.
There's no question that the broadly inclusive tone set by the Middle Kingdoms books went on to affect and underlie the YW universe in very basic ways. (There've been some scholarly works written by academics who've picked up on this, so [much to my relief] this perception hasn't been just me imagining it.) But I'll grant you that those who don't know the MK novels wouldn't be in a position to make the connection. (shrug) This is just one of those things that comes of having a lot of fragmented readerships who don't know about each other... a side effect of having done a lot of different things during a career. I can also understand how not knowing about the MK works could leave people who know me only, or primarily, as someone writing for a younger readership, a little bit disoriented (or maybe concerned) when the issue of me writing openly sexual material rears its head. But that wouldn’t be a change of direction. It’d be, to some extent, more a return to form.
Anyway: I consider erotica—and its more casually-dressed (or undressed...) cousin, smut—to be perfectly legit forms of literary expression; ones that can soar to unexpected heights if you're willing to put in the work. The sexy-stuff-writing muscle requires periodic exercise if it's to remain viable and/or useful. So I exercise it. And being a 70-year-old person who sometimes creaks audibly when she walks has done absolutely nothing to decrease my interest in the subject—the brain being, after all, the biggest sex organ, and the one least vulnerable to the depredations of time. If anything, nearly fifty years of experience (and three and a half decades of marriage to @petermorwood) have added... let's just say nuance. 😏
Now this whole concept will doubtless horrify some of the "Eww, You're Too Old To Be Writing This Kind Of Thing, Go Get A (Home) Life" types. To which all I can say is, "...Well, good!" By and large, such folks are not my readers anyway. And as for any of them who are, and can't deal…? They need to understand that (pointing off to one side) those people over there—the various kinda-straight and pansexual and bisexual humans, and the gender-fluid fire elemental, and the otherly-gendered Dragon, and the mostly-gay ones enthusiastically shouting "We're fuckinnnng!" down the stairs—are Nita's and Kit's godparents. Without the members of that extremely mixed marriage and their increasingly extended family, there might be no Young Wizards series... not least because it was the splash made by the first of the Middle Kingdoms books that got the Errantryverse crowd in through a major publisher's door. And the series’s continued (modest but still noticeable) success through the second and third volumes kept the writing of new YW books going for a good long while.
...So. For those who may have had questions: HTH. 😀
(And now back to the unending search for a more graceful synonym for “testicles”.)
#Young Wizards#Middle Kingdoms#writing young adult fiction#writing adult fiction#writing adults-ONLY fiction#all sisters under the skin
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Rey's Character and the Likelihood of Ben Returning
Ultimately, the likelihood of Ben Solo’s return (either via the World Between Worlds or some other alternative) will depend on which version of Rey DLF decides to go with. Because throughout the sequel trilogy, there are two distinct versions of her character—the one geared towards children, and the one geared towards adults. Let me explain.
Since Star Wars is a universe and franchise that caters to both child and adult audiences, there are inevitably certain stories and characters that are geared towards specific age groups. Shows like Andor and Obi-Wan and movies like Revenge of the Sith and Solo are geared towards adults, whereas shows like Rebels and The Resistance, and movies like The Force Awakens and The Phantom Menace are geared towards the younger audience. (It’s worth noting that adults can enjoy this content as well and those shows and movies are amazing to watch even at my ripe age of 29). Additionally, there are characters that are, by nature, geared towards one of the two audiences. Characters like Chewbacca, Darth Maul, Grogu, Ashoka, Padme, Hux, Ezra Bridger, BB-8, Sabine, Finn, and Rose are characters that are more approachable to younger audiences—whether that be through their story arcs and settings, character arc relatabilities, easily defined moral compasses, and easy to understand motives and objectives. On the other hand, characters like Anakin, Poe, Leia, Han, Ben Solo, Cassian, Jyn, Bix Caleen, Mon Mothma, and Qi’ra are all characters who, by their relatability and the context and subject matter of their story arcs, tend to be geared towards older audiences.
Of course, there is a natural amount of crossover depending on which show or movie the character is in at the time, but generally you can see which characters are intended for a more mature audience and which were designed for a younger audience. And that’s not to say that children can’t relate to characters like Anakin or Jyn or that adults can’t relate to characters like Ashoka or Ezra. The distinction is simply that certain characters are going to be more easily digestible and easy to understand to a younger audience than others. For example, characters like Hux and Darth Maul are very clearly bad, while characters like Chewie and Grogu are very clearly good. However, adults can be given characters like Cassian Andor or Qi’ra who are more morally ambiguous and who make both good and bad choices and the older audiences have the cognitive ability and life experiences to understand the nuances.
When it comes to Rey, she has been in both these camps with the audience seeing two distinct versions of her character throughout her tenure. This isn’t the same sort of crossover we see with characters like Luke or Obi-Wan who can easily play in both fields, this is an instance where we’ve seen two distinct versions of her character.
The first version is the child-friendly version of Rey. This is the Rey we see most frequently in JJ’s movies but it’s at its most apparent in Rise of Skywalker. It’s the Rey we see playing with BB-8 in the desert and sliding around on hills. The girl who misses her parents, who has to ask for permission to go on missions, and who has to borrow somebody else’s lightsaber because she’s too young to have her own. This is the version of Rey whose understanding of the Force is very black and white and whose temptation to the Darkside is very cut and dry without any ambiguity or nuance. This version of Rey mainly focuses on parental figures and her duty as a Jedi, and her own personal desires for connection or her struggles with temptations are often a watered down version of themselves.
The second version is the more adult-centered version of Rey. This is the Rey we see in both the Last Jedi film and the novelizations of both TFA and TLJ. This is the Rey we see challenge the legacy of Luke Skywalker and question his actions, who makes her own decisions and isn’t afraid to stand up for her convictions. This is the Rey who has calm and rational, philosophical conversations with people who are older than her, and who are sometimes also her enemies. This is the Rey who struggles with the temptations of the Darkside in a more personal and nuanced way. This Rey has a more esoteric view on the force and what it means to be a Jedi. This version isn’t afraid to explore romance in her life and has grown beyond needing to find adoptive parents to take care of her. This version decides to take on Snoke by herself, gets her own lightsaber, and who doesn’t shy away from confessing her struggles with loneliness, desires, and identity. This version of Rey functions at a higher level as the subject matter regarding her identity, her philosophies about the force, and her relationship with Ben Solo are much more mature in nature.
One version of Rey is easy for children to grab hold of and digest, while the other is more complex and layered. One struggles with simple concepts like “Anger = Darkside,” and, “I need my parents to save me,” while the other struggles with concepts like, “What if the connection I’ve been searching for is found in my enemy, and my identity is not defined by my heritage,” and, “This person I once viewed as my hero has made mistakes and I need to make my own choices outside of him.” One version of Rey has ~platonic “thank you” kisses~, the other version has conversations about existentialism with a shirtless man and reaches across the galaxy so she can physically touch that same man. One version spends her time sledding and training on a child’s obstacle course, the other spends her time confronting her mentors about their actions and conversing with a man about loneliness over dim firelight.
One version is mature, the other is often infantilized.
In this new movie, the likelihood of Ben Solo returning will hinge on which version of Rey DLF decide to settle on. If she is to remain the child-friendly version, the likelihood of Ben Solo returning probably won’t happen. Because Ben Solo’s return would require a more mature and nuanced understanding of morals, forgiveness, redemption, and romance—all concepts that are better suited for an older audience—the story would also require the more mature version of Rey to coincide with that. Whereas keeping him out of the story would allow Rey to focus solely on more child-friendly tasks like training Jedi, being a good platonic friend, and being abundantly clear cut in her morals and perspectives—all concepts that can easily be watched and understood by younger audiences.
As to my personal guess as to which version DLF will go with – I think it depends on Adam Driver. If he wants to return to the franchise and play his character again, I could easily see them spinning this one movie off into multiples and doing a full trilogy focused on Ben and Rey creating a new Jedi Order, exploring the powers of the dyad and what it means, and bringing up the next generation of Jedi for future movies. This would be a good option for DLF to take advantage of as Ben Solo is a huge cash cow and (buckle up for this one) the child(ren) of Ben and Rey would make for great new characters to pass the baton to for the next big Star Wars trilogy.
However, if Adam doesn’t want to return, then I’d imagine this movie will be a one-off story that exists solely for Rey to act as an Obi-Wan/Luke figure and introduce a main Jedi character that we’ll see as the lead protagonist in the next big Star Wars trilogy. She’ll most likely have just the one movie where she sets up a new Jedi order, they’ll probably pair her up with Grogu or BB-8 to make her even more kid friendly, and we probably won’t even get as much as a Ben Solo name drop.
Eventually they’ll want to pass the baton to the next generation, and it makes sense for Rey to be the one to do it. The only question will be if we first get to see Rey and Ben and their adventures, or if they’ll simply skip it in favor of a clean slate and this movie will just fulfill the need of introducing the next main protagonist. (Most likely one of her students.)
And as to the 15-year time jump, I don’t think it’s telling either way which option will happen. On the one hand, the age up could reinforce that more mature version of her character which would open the door to a Rey and Ben plus kids sort of story, but on the other hand it could just solidify Rey as only wanting to be a Jedi who has no interest in romance and is just focused on legacies and being *the Skywalker*.
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Writing About Disabilities: ADHD
Here we go again.
When writing about anything you are not personally familiar with, research is your best friend. Don't use this post as a catch all and think it's all you need to write characters with ADHD. This is far from all the information about it, but it's a starting point.
Here's some basic information that I have found and I've also included some of my own experience since I have ADHD, which is at the bottom of this post. (Just as a note I won't always do things I have personal experience with. These are just the ones I feel comfortable sharing first.)
Information regarding ADHD
As most people know, ADHD stands for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. It's a neurological disorder that impacts many various things but mainly an individual's focus (both ability and where that focus is). Many people with ADHD usually are focused on something but they don't have control of where that focus is. The biggest example of this is in school settings (which often leads kids to be diagnosed) where they're in the classroom and even though they hear the teacher giving instructions they can't help but focus on what's happening outside or the posters on the wall, etc.
There are various types of ADHD and they have been updated by the DSM. It was once separated as ADHD and ADD, which pretty much meant you had A or B, which doesn't really work neurodivergence because every brain works differently and everyone has their own experience (it's a spectrum). There are now three types and they luckily aren't as cut and dry: Predominantly Inattentive, Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive, and Combined Presentation. It's also important to note that presentations can change over time but it's always just ADHD. Source: CDC
Some more in-depth information:
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder | NIMH
Living with ADHD | Coping Strategies | ADDitude
Data and Statistics About ADHD | CDC
Things to Consider about the character you're writing:
When was your character diagnosed? Also, how did they go about this diagnosis process? While this may seem like some simple questions, the answer does contribute to your character's story and identity. Was it part of their K-12 years? If so, what part? Was it when they got to college? Were they never diagnosed until a friend/family member pointed it out to them? Are they still undiagnosed? You should look into the experiences people have shared online about their diagnosis because it may be helpful for creating your character.
Do they have other forms of neurodivergence? Many neurodivergent people have more than one diagnosis in neurodivergence. For example, there's a lot of overlap with ADHD and Autism. So much so, that there's a unofficial term for it: AuDHD. This term is unofficial in the sense that it was developed by the community for the community rather than medical professionals. If your character has multiple diagnoses, how do those diagnoses interact with each other?
*Also, be aware of statistics. It's been proven over and over again that women or AFAB people are less likely to receive a diagnosis for ADHD (they're more likely to be diagnosis with anxiety, depression or OCD; all of which can be contributed to ADHD)
My Experience with ADHD
I decided to create a section to share my experience just because of how much it's apart of my daily life. I've obviously had ADHD all my life but I wasn't diagnosed until my first/second year of high school. The reason for this is because I was "good in school" and wasn't "jumping off the walls". I was good in school because I was hyperfixated on academics and academia. I wasn't jumping off the walls with energy because I was constantly masking, because now as I have gotten older and more comfortable, those high energy symptoms are more apparent.
I didn't take ADHD medication for a very long time because I thought I was managing just fine. I actually requested medication a few months back (before my third year of university). Turns out I was not managing just fine. I was constantly procrastinating and leaving things to the last minute. I was relying on the pressure of a looming deadline. I was also in a constant state of executive dysfunction when that deadline wasn't there (like with household chores). Imagine my surprise when I'm suddenly able to work on tasks without pressure of a deadline or pressure of failure.
As a funny little note, whenever I spoke to healthcare professionals and I told them I had ADHD or they saw it in my chart, they would be shocked/surprised by the fact I was unmedicated. Another funny note, when I spoke with my psychiatrist about being put on an ADHD medication, he was like "I was wondering when this would happen" like sir??? lmao
**Once again, always do more research. Do not use this post as all you need. Anytime you write something or create a character that has something you aren't familiar with, you need to take the time to learn about it. Research Research Research!
#godless has writing prompts#godless has writing research to share#writing advice#writers on tumblr#writeblr#writing#disability representation#writing disabilities#adhd#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#hyperfixation#audhd#writing research#writing disabled characters#writing resources
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hey it's high-fructose-jay-syrup again. I sent the original question off anon because it's not something I'd feel particularly awkward about anyone connecting to me, but then sent the followup ask on anon because I figured the ask not having gone through had something to do with me sending it off anon lmao (which apparently it did, since you did get the anon ask)
anyhoo. wondering if you have any insight on the line between masochism and self harm? I am realizing that a lot of my prior exploration of that area of kink had more to do with a desire to Feel Something than pure enjoyment of pain (which often resulted in me continuing despite being unsure about my comforts) and I think most of it was not a good idea to be doing and may even have been somewhat traumatizing. so now I'm understandably pretty wary about exploring that field again (I mean I'm wary of sex in general thanks to Trauma TM but yk, someday when that's no longer the case), and wondering if you have any thoughts on how to tell the difference between something that involves pain but is completely safe and enjoyable, and something that is actively damaging and needs to stop, *especially* given the phenomenon of sub drop.
thanke! happy late birthday!
hi not-anon,
this is a very interesting question, and I'm afraid it's not one that I'll be able to offer a very solid answer on. the line between masochism and self-harm that you're seeking is a thin and wavering one, and exactly where it lands varies heavily depending on the individual. there's a pretty excellent book called Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose that I thought of immediately while reading your question; in it, author Leigh Cowart examines their own experiences with ballet, eating disorders, and kink as well as people who partake in pain-seeking activities like eating record-setting amounts of painfully hot peppers, taking part in body-breaking ultramarathons, and flinging themselves into frigid waters on purpose. I think it's very notable that many of the people they talk to discuss former addictions that were much more actively detrimental to their quality of life than their current pain fix; sometimes it's not a matter of "I'm not hurting myself at all," but "hurting myself eating peppers will fuck me up a lot less than hurting myself with alcohol."
if you think about it there are dozens of activities that can simultaneously get a brain pumping dopamine and set off our pain receptions. pulling from just two of my own experiences, I love the pain of a needle when getting a new tattoo, and I love how wrecked my body feels after a couple hours of bouldering - and yes, both of those come with a drop afterwards! does that mean they qualify as self-harm? I don't think so, no, but I can also easily see how either could slip into that, if I were to start pushing my body regularly beyond the threshold of acceptable pain into something more than I can comfortable handle. the problem is that, as I said, that line isn't universal, and sometimes the only way to find out for sure is to push a little too far and see what happens.
it's also worth pointing out that, in terms of sexual masochism specifically, the idea of anything being "completely safe" is a discouraged by a lot of people within the community. this is a large part of RACK, or risk-aware consensual kink; substituting the "safe" in "safe, sane, and consensual" with an acknowledgement that sex involving acts of physical violence, no matter how well-negotiated, cannot ever be 100% perfectly risk free, and that this is a risk that participants must either be willing to accept or not engage with. to my thinking, at least, being risk-aware also means knowing the emotional harm that you would be making yourself vulnerable to by participating, and taking responsibility for that by not seeking out potentially harmful situations.
(safe, sane, and consensual has been reevaluated and contested in other ways in recent years; I wrote more about that and its history here for the curious.)
it seems clear that you're aware of which side of that line you've fallen on in the past, and I'm glad it's something you've been able to recognize and change your behavior around, as it sounds like avoiding SM situations entirely is great for you right now. I don't know if you're on a break from sex altogether, but if you are feeling wary about it, then it certainly couldn't hurt. it bears mentioning that even the most vanilla sex on earth can be (and often is) a form of self harm as much as kinky sex; as always, the thing that matters in the context and the experience of the individual involved.
in regards to any kind of sex, my advice is generally pretty blunt: if you're not sure whether or not something will fuck you up, don't do it. why would you take that risk? there are plenty of spaces in our lives where we have to put up with things that suck, but when it comes to your sex life that shit's completely customizable. skip the things that you're unsure about, focus on what you know works for you, whether that's vanilla sex, kinky sex, or no sex at all.
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Maybe
The (reader insert) mysme linguistics department AU that's been bouncing around in my head for months now; 3k words
Rating: General Audiences
“Is there something wrong with that sentence?” Saeran asks, frantically scribbling in his notebook as he speaks.
“It’s okay if you have the context, I guess,” you decide, “But without context, it just sounds weird to me.”
“And what kind of context do you need?” Saeran seems to be a lot more direct with his questions than his brother has been, and he’s offering none of the same assurances about your general performance as a language consultant.
Or:
You agree to an interview about your native language. It's not at all what you expected.
This is literally just my niche daydream scenario of choice made as accessible as I could to those who aren't linguistics majors! The basic concept is that the twins are interviewing you about your native language for their research. I did include some English-specific stuff but I still tried to leave it fairly vague as far as what MC's native language is to make it slightly more immersive for as many people as possible. If anyone is interested I can definitely write more in this universe, possibly with some romance!
Read it on Ao3!
To be honest, you're a bit nervous about your upcoming interview. After all, you've never been interviewed for anything before— you were shocked that you even got a call back from the research team doing a study of your native language. You'd only applied for their study out of curiosity— how does one study a language via interview, anyway? After consulting with a few of your friends, you arrived at the conclusion that the researchers must want you to teach the language to them. That should be easy, right? You've been speaking it your whole life, and although Korean isn't your first language, clearly you've been able to learn it well enough to communicate your way through college and into a job here. How hard could it really be to mediate between the two?
Very hard, apparently. You're not sure how much you're supposed to have prepared, but you are coming into this interview with quite a bit of experience failing to explain basic concepts in your native language to a few of your friends. Hopefully, the researchers will know what they're doing— well, of course they will. Who are you kidding? They got approved to conduct a study, after all. That must mean that they have some sort of plan to go on, and you doubt that they would have selected you as a consultant if they didn't think you'd be able to help them. Nevertheless, you nervously adjust your button-down for the fifth time since getting off the train before opening the door to the room where the interview will be conducted.
You are greeted immediately by someone with the reddest hair you've ever seen. “MC, right?” He addresses you in your native tongue, and you blush, not having expected him to know anything right off the bat. If he's already conversational, what does he need you for? Maybe you’re supposed to help him teach somebody else.
“Hi,” you manage. “Yes. Hello.”
“Don't be shy,” he beckons for you to follow him into the room and leads you over to a table where another researcher— also with red hair— is waiting. The first guy is wearing yellow-and-black striped glasses with a matching yellow-and-black hoodie; the second sports a charcoal grey sweater over a pale blue dress shirt. You're not sure how you're going to tell them apart if you come back for a second interview— they've got to be identical twins. Although, you probably won't be coming back for a second interview, if they already speak the language you're supposed to be teaching them. Not that you have any clue how this works— maybe they need help developing language-instruction curriculum, or something along those lines. “I'm Saeyoung,” the one with the glasses pulls your chair back for you, “And this is Saeran. He'll be taking notes, if that's okay?”
“It's fine,” you assure them both. “Good to meet you.”
“You mentioned on the form that you were okay with recording,” Saeran deadpans. He sounds like he's reciting from a mental script— you suppose there must be at least a few questions that they need to ask for legal reasons. “Is that still true?”
“Yes, of course,” you fidget nervously. He's certainly very intense, and this is not turning out to be what you expected at all. “Um... the form didn't explain what you would be doing?”
“That's because our faculty advisor doesn't know,” Saeyoung grins, which instantly sets you more at ease. He seems like the type of person you could be friends with, in a non-interview setting, and it doesn’t hurt that he’s quite pretty. “And he made the fliers. All we want to do is ask you some questions about how you say things— and we might also check to see if our ideas about how we might say things are correct. Anything we ask you, just answer honestly. We’re looking for native speaker intuitions here, okay? But that’s just about everything we need from you.”
“Really? And will that help you learn?” You're still confused about how this works. Surely there are professional language teachers they can consult? They work at a university, after all.
“It may not help us with speaking, but it will absolutely help us with our research,” Saeyoung explains. “I wish I could tell you what I'm studying, but if I did, it might make you start to doubt your judgments. Just relax, and tell us whatever comes to your mind naturally. We'll take it from there.”
“Okay,” you nod. “Although, you already speak very well.”
“I've had a lot of practice,” Saeyoung assures you, “But you're a native speaker. You have intuitions that I'll never be able to access on my own.”
Saeran snorts, but says nothing, and you can't help but agree with him— his twin is a bit intense, too, now that you think about it. “I mean, if you think it'll be helpful…” You trail off, unsure of how to go about this, but grateful that you don’t actually have to teach your native language to the researchers. Of course, knowing that much doesn’t help you to understand what kind of information they’re actually seeking, but Saeyoung and Saeran both seem to know what they’re doing.
“You'll do great,” Saeyoung assures you, “And even if you do a terrible job, you'll still get the cash prize at the end.”
You look to Saeran for clarification. He doesn’t seem like the type to mince words. “Compensation,” is his only explanation. “As noted on the form.”
“Oh, right.” You weren't even thinking about the compensation when you signed up, but the amount they’re offering will certainly go a long way if you attend multiple sessions.
“Alright,” Saeyoung grins. “Let's get started. I have a picture that I want you to describe, if that's okay.”
He slides a sheet of paper across the table to you. Someone has printed the Longcat meme onto it, and in full color, too. “Oh, it's Longcat,” you note.
“See ? People know Longcat,” Saeyoung addresses his brother in Korean. Based on his tone, you get the feeling that there was some heated debate involved in the image selection process. “I told you they would.”
“One person knows Longcat,” Saeran corrects him, “The last five didn't.”
You can't help but smile. “Am I really the only one?”
Saeyoung shakes his head mournfully. “People are so uncultured these days. It's a tragedy.”
Saeran rolls his eyes, before redirecting his attention to you. “How would you say ‘People know Longcat?'“
You get the feeling that he's asking you about your native language, since he already clearly knows how to say it in Korean. “Um...” you consider it, before offering a rough translation. Saeran seems to like it, as he begins vigorously scribbling on a notepad in front of him. “That's how you would, like... express the same idea? But did you mean word-for-word?”
“Never give us a word-for-word translation,” Saeran mumbles, shaking his head.
“He's just being dramatic,” Saeyoung assures you, “But please try to be as authentic as you can. If something is awkward to say or not how you would express whatever idea, just let us know, alright? We won't be mad. Now, would you mind pronouncing 'Longcat' again?”
Saeran rolls his eyes, but doesn’t interrupt as you repeat the word again. He has notes about that, too, which strikes you as odd— you wonder what he could possibly be writing to differentiate your version of 'Longcat' from his own. “Was that good?”
Saeyoung laughs. “If you're saying it naturally, then of course it's good.”
You blush. “Sorry. I'm just a little bit nervous... I've never done this before. I don’t want to mess up your research.”
“Don't worry,” Saeyoung pats the Longcat picture as if it were a real cat, which, to his credit, gets a laugh out of you. “Just say whatever comes to mind about this picture. It'll help us, I promise.”
“Oh.” You look at the picture for a moment, not sure what you're supposed to say. “Well, it's Longcat, which is... like, a cat that is long?”
“What am I supposed to put for the free translation?” Saeran hisses in Korean.
Saeyoung shoots him a look that says 'shut up' in every language before turning back to you. “Don't mind him. Keep going.”
Considering you don't even know what a free translation is, Saeran’s comment isn’t hard to ignore. “Um, well, there's someone... holding the cat. Maybe that's to make it longer?”
Saeyoung nods, while Saeran continues taking frantic notes. You don't see how what you're saying is that interesting, but if it makes them happy, then you're glad to contribute— even if you are a bit confused. ”Sorry, and how would you say 'maybe they're holding the cat to make it longer?'“ It's giving you a headache to switch back and forth between languages so much, especially since you typically use only one at a time.
You translate his expression to your native language as best you can— the word order is different, of course, and you're not sure if Saeyoung wants you to phrase it as a question or as a statement. The most ‘correct’ way would probably be a statement, but you settle for translating the question to a question. That seems more accurate, even if it’s less grammatical. “But I don't know if that sentence is... like, correct .” Suddenly, you're very worried that you'll be teaching the twins how to speak incorrectly. Then, an even scarier idea pops into your mind: since they're both already so advanced, they might be judging you, and—
Saeyoung laughs. “Of course it's correct.” He waves you off. “You're a native speaker.”
Your eyes widen. “I say things wrong all the time. Like, I say ‘like’—”
“A discourse marker,” Saeran mumbles, talking more to his notes than to you. It doesn't sound like a bad thing, but you're not quite sure.
Saeyoung shakes his head. “And I say ‘well.’ There's literally no difference.”
“Yes, there i—” You start to correct him, before you remember that he's an expert, and also paying you. Maybe it would be best for you to refrain from correcting him on any point— but, then again, he explicitly asked you to correct him if necessary. This linguistics thing seems very complicated. “Never mind.”
“It's just part of the language.” Saeran shrugs. You get the feeling that if he's on board with ‘like,’ then it's probably fine, considering how grumpy he seems about everything else.
“Exactly,” Saeyoung agrees, “We want to know as much as we can about how you actually speak, MC.”
The way he says it makes you blush. You know very well that the twins are really only interested in your speech for how it will help them with their research— but, still, they’re both such intense and passionate people, and to have all of that attention trained on you… well, you can’t really beat yourself up about the heat that’s rising to your cheeks, can you? And, anyway, you’re here to help them with their research, not to beat yourself up— you’d better start participating properly. You examine the Longcat photo once again. “Do you want me to just keep describing it?”
“If you want,” Saeyoung replies, “Otherwise, I have other ways of extracting information.” He wiggles his fingers menacingly, earning a giggle from you and a light shove from Saeran. It doesn’t look like it hurt very much, but Saeyoung rubs his side where his brother’s elbow made contact. “Okay, I get it! Hey, MC— how would you say, ‘Maybe he pushed me to make me shut up?’”
You glance hesitantly in Saeran’s direction, and he raises his eyebrows in a gesture of invitation that you might classify as playful, considering his typical affect. “It’s a good question,” he concedes with a slight smirk.
Oh. Alright then. Nothing to see here— just two beautiful twins interrogating you about your native language, as if you could be expected to throw together any combination of words while they’re both looking at you so expectantly. You offer a vague translation. “At least, that’s how I would say it. I know there’s other ways.” You then list a few alternative expressions which have the same general meaning.
“Okay,” Saeyoung glances at his laptop, which, presumably, contains notes for how he wants to conduct the remainder of this session. “What if I knew for a fact that he pushed me to make me shut up?”
You consider this. “Um… I guess it would be like, ‘He pushed me to make me shut up.’ But now that I think about it, Saeran didn’t really, uh, push you. He elbowed you, so ‘He elbowed me to make me shut up,’ would be better.”
“Okay,” Saeyoung says again, “So, then, do you think ‘Maybe he elbowed me to make me shut up,’ would be better, too?”
“Yeah, but ‘pushed’ is still okay,” you explain, though you’re sure he already knows that it’s a permissible word. “I just think it’s wrong in context.”
Saeran regards you with brilliant green eyes. “Back to the cat,” he taps on the photo with the clicker at the end of his pen, “Could I say, ‘They’re holding it to make the cat longer?’”
You wince. “Uh… I don’t know.” You really do have to think about it for a moment— surprisingly, it’s not easy to determine right away whether a sentence is appropriate. In all honesty, something about it feels off, but you don’t know how to explain what the problem is. “I think so.”
“Is there something wrong with that sentence?” Saeran asks, frantically scribbling in his notebook as he speaks.
“It’s okay if you have the context, I guess,” you decide, “But without context, it just sounds weird to me.”
“And what kind of context do you need?” Saeran seems to be a lot more direct with his questions than his brother has been, and he’s offering none of the same assurances about your general performance as a language consultant.
You bite your lip as you consider the inquiry. “I think just the picture of the cat would be enough? But even that is a little weird. I think ‘They’re holding the cat to make it longer’ would be better. Did I say it the other way around before?”
“What if I said, ‘Maybe they’re holding it to make the cat longer?’” Saeran asks, neither relenting nor answering your question.
“I don’t know,” you admit, “That does sound a lot better for some reason, but I still don’t like it.”
“Hm.” You’re not sure if that’s a positive sound, and Saeran seems too occupied with his notes to elaborate further.
“That’s alright,” Saeyoung assures you, redirecting your attention back to the picture. He’s standing beside you now, so that he can reach over and point at the image without having to lean across the table. “Why don’t you just tell us more about what you think is going on in this picture?”
“Do you want more ‘maybe’ sentences?” You ask. There seems to be a trend forming here, and you want to be as helpful as you can.
Saeyoung grins. “You’re a sharp one,” he observes. “Yes, we want more ‘maybe’ sentences, please.”
You chew thoughtfully on your bottom lip as you consider this new request. “Well,” you study the picture in front of you, paying special attention to the wrist of the person holding onto Longcat, “Maybe that watch is a Rolex?”
That gets both twins smiling. Maybe this language consultant gig won’t be so difficult after all.
The hour dedicated to your interview goes by surprisingly quickly; it feels as though it’s over before it’s even begun. The twins seem very interested in your guesses and conjectures about the Longcat photo, though you still have no idea what they could possibly be planning to use this data for. “Is there anything else you need from me?” You ask, just after the timer goes off. Saeran, it seems, anticipated that he and Saeyoung would get too wrapped up in the interviewing process to end it promptly without the aid of an alarm— you can respect that, you decide. You were pretty wrapped up, too.
“No,” Saeran assures you with something almost like a smile.
You might be persuaded, were it not for Saeyoung's simultaneous declaration of, “Oh, yeah, but we can save that for the next session.”
“If you want me to stay, I can stay,” you offer, “I've been having fun with this ‘maybe’ business.” You don’t know any of the technical terms, but you get the feeling that the twins are approaching some sort of breakthrough. Even Saeran was fairly animated during the final segment of the elicitation.
“We have to meet with our faculty advisor,” Saeran explains, perhaps a bit regretfully. “But you can come back next Wednesday, if you'd like.”
“We can also do phone or video interviews,” Saeyoung elaborates. Sometime during the interview, he took to sitting on the table beside you, which you don't suppose is very professional— then again, he did also show you photos of Longcat. Maybe professionalism works differently in his field than it does in yours. “If that's easier for you.”
“I'll come back,” you assure them with a smile, “But I'm bringing snacks next time.” You don’t like the thought of the twins rushing around campus, working for free on this project of theirs before hurrying to a meeting with some professor. They should at least get some refreshments in between, right?
“Bring something sweet,” Saeran orders.
“Please,” Saeyoung adds on his brother’s behalf with a sheepish smile.
As you leave the classroom that they've taken over for their research, you can't help but wonder what you’ve gotten yourself into.
#Listen I know this is niche#And I don't know if people will be interested in this sort of content#Especially since there's no pairings#But I am trying to post more of what I write and some people did express interest when I talked about a linguistics AU before#So here it is#mystic messenger#mystic messenger fic
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Apartments For Rent: TEN-YEAR RETROSPECTIVE
Ooooohhhh man, this… This is fucking me way up, big time… I don’t even know where to begin with this… I should definitely be using this free time I have today doing my homework, you know, the thing with a hard deadline? That was technically due yesterday?? Well, how about instead of that, I take a walk down memory lane…
Do you remember the 21st night of September?
Picture this: It’s 2013. It is your sophomore year of high school. You have more friends than you ever have in your life and they are all so wonderful to you (this wouldn’t always be the case and they all wouldn’t stick around but you didn't know that yet). One of you proposes the question: If you were a monster, what would you be? A witch. A vampire. A werewolf. A mermaid. A ghost. A selkie. A dullahan. (You had to look those last two up.) You are so inspired by this that you want to make a story for these ideas to live in. You create a fantasy. Where all your best friends get to live together under one roof. A slice of a life you know you’ll never have. It’s actually the 20th night of September that you created the tumblr blog where most of what comes out of this will live (your first post says “why do i do this to myself”) but it is the 21st night that your creations get their names. Their genders don’t all stay the same but their cores haven’t really changed. “a very dramatic/theatrical witch who loves animals and sass master. a bubbly and happy mermaid who gets really scary when u cross her. a passive, nerdy vampire who isnt so out spoken. a moody selkie who loves to learn and lost her seal skin. a strong beautiful fairy girl who doesnt take shit from no one but is v nice to her friends. a strong beautiful fairy girl who doesnt take shit from no one but is v nice to her friends. a ghost girl from the 1920s who is forgetful and not really confident but really likes her new friends.” You put a disclaimer at the bottom of the post, clarifying that these descriptions shouldn’t be taken as a description of your friends but separate characters entirely. This is also the birth of Marvin, the human man created to navigate this world of chaos, not based on anyone you know in real life. The straight man in this goofball circus. Your Original Character. (Who, you now realize, was designed as the boring main male character in the harem anime.) This was the genesis. And you would never know peace in your life ever since.
And then what happened?
Bro, so much. A lot can happen in 10 years. You develop the characters further. You make a small town for them to live in (even though you’ve never even been to a small town in your life). You make (bad) art. You make sims because you hate the way you draw but you need a physical version of them to exist outside your head, as you see them. You apparently make a rule where no one outside of your little group is supposed to know about these characters (because you “had an experience” and “don’t wanna repeat it”). You make Alternate Universes for these Alternate Universe selves to populate, again and again. (As of right now, your “AU of an AU” list stands at 26 but there are probably more dumb ones not yet counted on the doc you made.) You try to make a one-shot comic collaboration with all your friends but no one seems to agree on how it should go so nothing but a script and panel formatting ends up getting made. (You know that your script was worse with many unnecessary details but you were bad at killing your darlings and stubborn about your ideas being the best. You’ll learn eventually.) You love and appreciate all the things your friends make for this story you start to feel full ownership of. (You haven’t noticed yet how much of a control freak you are.) Their writing and art give you life, especially considering they are doing The Most while you mostly just come up with ideas. The setting goes from apartment building to boarding house and back again before a year has passed. The first anniversary is a blast! You actually wrote something! And drew something you were proud of! Others wrote and drew and it was great. (How would you know it would never be like this again?)
And the years go by and by…
After the first year, you decided you wanted to make a dating sim with these silly characters because you just loved them so much. You shipped the characters (not realizing that your friends did it as a way to express they had crushes on each other, conveniently shipping your self-insert with the only man/only character not based on a friend.) There were still a lot of headcanons being made and posts being shared. But noticeably less and less. Then the second anniversary hit. Not much fanfare. After the second year, more characters started popping up based on more friends you make. Some of the friends that were there in the beginning weren’t anymore and you try not to think about it. After all, these characters aren’t your friends, they are separate and distinct from them. So it’s still OK to play with them, right? (The answer must be yes; ten years later you still do.) Then the third anniversary happens, with 4 posts between them. It was understandable. That was your senior year of high school. Everyone was getting ready to go their separate ways. You were moving clear across the country. Your friend group was getting smaller still and this big shake-up would prove who would stick around to still be a part of this thing and who would remain a memory for you to look back on in ten years. 2017, though, was a big year for the blog. You were unemployed and not yet going to college so you had A LOT of free time on your hands. It was probably the most number of posts you made since the first year of the blog. It was magic. Then you got a job. There have been 16 posts in the last 6 years. 2019 had none. 2020 and 2021 had one each. They were all made by you. There has certainly been less activity on the blog but that doesn’t mean these kids have been lying dormant all this time. You haven’t stopped thinking about them since they first popped up into your head. In 2019, you rewrote the story you had written for one of those anniversaries; the first chronological beat. (You haven’t read it since then; You have no idea if it’s good or not.) In 2020, you attempted to write the actual story (like fr fr) for NaNoWriMo -- you didn’t get very far but it’s the thought that counts? 2021 was a quiet year as far as actual writing goes - as was 2022 - but trust that your brain definitely didn’t forget about them.
The Retro part of the Spective
Alright, enough second-person POV.
Ten years.
Ten years.
Talk about hard pills to swallow (thanks FOB).
I’ve had this “story”, these characters, banging around in my head for ten years and what do I have to show for it? A couple thousand words and a blog full of half-thought ideas? Around this time last year, I was excited about this anniversary. I made a new Twitter for it (before that died) and was planning on actually publishing something to do this story justice… and I chickened out. I convinced myself, once again, that I wasn’t ready. That other things were more important, they took precedence. Do I have even that much to prove I was right? No, I don’t because I really haven’t changed all that much in ten years, if you can believe it. I know, a real shocker. (I still like all the same things I liked back in high school for crying out fucking loud!) I wanted to reach out to the people I used to do this with, to see if they still wanted to be part of it. (I’m sure that wouldn’tve been at all hard, I wonder why I didn’t follow through?) I wanted to have something so I would be able to say, “I did it.” So that maybe, I could finally move on. But that’s the thing, isn’t it… I don’t want to move on. I’m stuck in this arrested development because I refuse to change, to give up any past part of myself. Because if I don’t have that, I don’t know who I am.
So now what? What’s all this for? One big, sad diary entry reflecting on the parts of myself that I already know very well?
Honestly, I don’t know. I was hoping I could come to some sort of conclusion by writing this but as it turns out, it only made me want to cry.
I wanted this to end on a good note.
I spent all day writing this, I can’t end it like this.
So let’s instead talk about all the things that have changed about these goofballs over the years:
Mystic Cove is a city in a Northern California town. It started out in Florida, it almost ended up as a mountain town. I also briefly considered straight up placing it in San Diego because there are some nice, beautiful, old-ass buildings downtown that juxtapose the cold, sleek skyrises in such a way that I thought about writing something about being lonely in a city and finding your own family.
Vast Acres has been an apartment building, a boarding house, Mediterranean Revival, Victorian, Queen Anne, even briefly considered a Bed and Breakfast. All I know is it has to be the place where this family gets together. At one point under the ownership and operation of Marvin’s dad Alejandro, it is now bequeathed to Marvin by a mysterious, freshly dead uncle/great uncle.
Marvin is a wholeass person to me, in that he’s not completely knowable to even me anymore. Marvin is probably the person in Mystic Cove I know the BEST and that like doesn’t mean anything to me. Like yeah, I’ve written pages and pages and answered so many pointless questions about him but… I don’t know how else to describe him other than, “He’s an enigma.” The most significant thing about him that’s changed is I’m considering undeading his mom? Just because I feel like we’ve had enough dead mom media and it’s not something I can speak to truthfully. Briefly considered making her a runaway mom? But we’re still thinking about it. I think her name is Lily?
Mel’s name went from Melinda to Melody because I decided Melinda was a weird name? And Mel likes music so I thought I would be clever. She went from “Marv’s sister” and side character to basically co-lead. Mel was even almost briefly considered as the real main character for a time when I thought to lean into its roots as a product of a high schooler’s imagination and go full YA coming-of-age adventure. It was actually the subject of my 2020 NaNo attempt. I decided against it because I loved Marv too much to push him to “supporting character” and if there’s something about me that’s developed, it’s that I don’t much care for YA books anymore.
Amber is unsurprisingly my favorite because I’m a Leo. I think I finally decided on a backstory for her that I like and she’s not white anymore? Like, not fully anyway lmao. Before she was like, from someplace in England with like Spanish parents so like tan? But now we’ve decided that she’s from colonized Mexico and her father is a white devil. :) I’ll let you figure that one out. Over these ten years, I’ve grappled with the fact that an immortal is almost impossible to understand. I’ve gone back and forth on whether her immortality is on purpose or by accident or a curse or what. Honestly, I’m still thinking about it, I don’t know for sure what I’ll end up picking. Right now though, it is an involuntary immortality with her life being tied to her sister’s (yes, the cat). Details are fuzzy. I’d have to finish the main story first but if I were to make a spin-off, I would make a prequel story about Amber’s life because it is QUITE eventful.
Lucas is a man now lmao. And so is Will. And they r gay. For each other. But that’s been that way from the beginning lol. I think Luc’s story had to do with self-worth and Will… Will didn’t have much going on in my mind. My instinct was to make him a himbo but Will has always been very smart in my head so I don’t think that will work? Dude’s beefy asf and mad respectful so perfect man tbh? No notes.
Jenny’s been my way to try to break down the trope “Born Sexy Yesterday” because that’s just the kinda guy I am. No, but fr I think I was making a very infantilized version of Jenny initially and that’s why I shipped her with Mel in so many AUs?? I’m not against skewing Jenny younger to make that ship viable in canon but I don’t know if that’s the story I want to tell. I don’t think Jenny ever had a goal beyond “Get to the surface” which she gets when she makes her appearance in the story so?? Where do we go from here? Things to think about…
Rohen was fat (like a proper seal should be) before they lost their skin on the beach to some snot-nosed kid and became depressed. When they start healing on their depression journey, they start to gain weight again and it's a good thing. :)
Everyone else I haven’t mentioned yet hasn’t changed much (ie. I haven’t thought about them much). It’s not that I have favorites (even though I just said that I did), it’s just that I basically go down a list whenever I think about these guys, and, due to my short attention span, I never make it all the way down the list. AND honestly, it’s probably for the best because looking back… there were WAAAY too many characters to keep track of ngl… Like it’s a slice-of-life thing, I know. Not every character has to be involved in every storyline but like… At some point, you have to draw a line at, “How many named characters with their own plotlines can I insert into this story?” YKWIM? Especially because at one point there was a whole roster of other people who lived in the apartment building when there were like 20 units. That was (rightly) reduced back down to just the core cast.
You can pry Jonesy from my cold, dead hands, tho. He’s perfect. He can stay.
This post took me literally all day.
I’m tired.
I don’t really expect anyone to read all this but if you are not me and you made it to the bottom, congratulations! You now know me on a much deeper level! :) I hope I can convince myself to buckle down and write, straight up. Maybe NaNo this year? No promises. I’m trying to apply for university this year and living situation issues might take precedence but such is life, right?
Thank you.
I love you all.
For giving me this gift.
Even if you never intended to give it fully to me.
It’s mine now, bitches. >:)
Here’s to 10 years! And many (but hopefully not too many) more…
Cheers. 🥂🍾
❤️
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Early Synth HCs and Thoughts, pt.1
(Because I have the heart of a researcher and absolutely have to fill in gaps and ask questions on how things work.)
“I'm a synth. Synthetic man. All the parts, minus a few red blood cells.” -Nick Valentine
Internal Support Structure:
The wiki says that a Gen. 1 synths' skeleton is made of 'alloys,' and this is about as helpful as saying a cake is made of ingredients lol.
Considering the fact that they're stated to be weaker and less dexterous than their successors, we can assume that their frame is also heavier, stiffer and more 'brittle' than a Gen. 2's, and when we pair this with the fact that they were also more expendable, aka cheaper, I think their skeleton was made of a steel alloy, paired with elements that prevent rust and help with the brittleness.
And gen. 2s would be made of an aluminium alloy!
I know it should've been the first choice for the 1s, but for a 'recently formed' Institute it'd be more convenient to start off cheap, produce as many synths as possible and have them expand the group's reach, power, and scavenge for better materials with which to build the more refined models.
Senses (mainly Nick):
Nick's comments on smells obviously means he can smell, right? But how? Surely they can't have mimicked a perfect human nose on him, so it's gotta be something simpler, but just as effective.
It's a fact that he has olfactory sensors, and considering a smell is nothing more than a thing's particles floating into our noses, maybe those sensors read/analyse them on a molecular level, like an air-quality-testing-device, and some specific components trigger negative or positive reactions according to (in his case) the OG Nick's preferences and the obvious, universally hated or loved ones, the basic human simulation. In this case, it would be a matter of programming for him to be able to specify the components of a smell and pinpoint almost exactly what it comes from. Instead of "Ew, rotten eggs!" It would be something like "ew, [chemical composition of rotten egg], most notably present in rotten eggs!"
A bit more on the specifics of the olfactory sensors: a sticky/humid surface is infinitely better than a dry one for catching molecules, so there has to be some sort of lubrication in there. Thus, robot snot is a very valid possibility.
If they can smell (and if the mechanics work like I think they do) then they could technically taste as well, following the exact same principle. Gen. Is and IIs have no apparent stomach, but the tongue is present, and could be made of the same material as the inside of the nose, which could also mean it's coated in the same lubricant (robot spit?), at least the ones with a mostly intact shell preventing it from drying out and thus ruining/crippling the sensor's capability to do its thing.
So he can (hypothetically) see, hear, smell and taste, but what about touch? To make my life better, I've separated the 'Tactile Experience TM' in three parts: physical integrity/proprioception, pressure, and temperature.
Nicky does feel pain, but pain itself doesn't appear to be potentially incapacitating like it is for humans – "If you find any pieces of my legs, could you pick them up for me?" – so it's likely a programmed emotional reaction based on physical integrity (kinda like it is for humans, huh?).
This implies a certain level of proprioception, awareness of oneself, that would require a constant flow of energy/information through the synth's body, much like our nerves, but instead of joining together into a single structure (a spinal chord of sorts), I'd imagine those cables would be isolated from one another depending on the body part, but all would feed into the robot's 'brain,' or there wouldn't be that many cables at all, and a central sensor would send electromagnetic pulses through the metal frame to know what was still there. This network of awareness would embrace the entire form of the synth, minus the non-conductive parts like insulation, outer layers of skin, some cables, etc.
Regarding temperature, it's important for basically every machine with an engine/core to keep the heat produced in check, and as robots are made of metal (groundbreaking news), it would be easy to just attach some thermometers on him, from the mesh-like structure that supports the skin layer to the very inner parts, seeing as aluminium is highly heat-conductive.
We've taken care of proprioception and temperature, but I'll need to recharge my brain so I can tackle pressure lol. (And breathing, skin, power, apparent radiation immunity, the fact that Nick drinks/has drunk Vadim's brew, etc, etc, etc...)
#fallout 4#fallout#nick valentine#there are so many gaps in synth lore#headcanon#things a medic does in her free time#input and corrections are valued#my weird rambling
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Question Time Results!
The green marked ones were correct, the red ones were wrong!
1. Where am I from? Most of you voted for Europe, which is correct! I am from the Netherlands :)
2. What is my hair colour? The majority of you voted for brunette, but I’m actually dark blonde! I did dye my hair brunette once, but dyed it back to my natural hair colour again!
3. What’s my age? I am 23, so you were correct with the 20-25 mark!
4. How tall am I? I am under 1m80, which almost everyone answered correctly! I’m actually 1m72 :)
5. Who’s my favourite driver? This surprised me! You all thought Charles is my favourite driver, but he isn’t my number one driver! You thought my second favourite driver was Lewis, which is wrong! I’m surprised because I honestly thought you knew, since I’m so open about it, but apparently I’m not? Haha. Anyways, I’ll have to say my number 1 driver is Lando Norris. I just feel like we have so much in common, and he’s around my age which makes me relate to him much more? I really do think he is able to win races, possible championships! My second favourite driver is Max Verstappen. First off, I’m a dutchy, and second off, I work for him :)
6. I am still in university, so you were correct with that one! I am currently writing my thesis and after that I want to work in the marketing / media world, hopefully somewhere in F1, but I will keep you updated on that if you’d want me to!
7. Have I ever been to a Grand Prix? You were wrong! Most of you thought I haven’t been at a grand prix before, but I actually have! I’ve worked at the Dutch Grand Prix in Zandvoort last year, 2022. It was such an experience! I loved every second of it 🤍
8. Have I ever met an F1 driver? Most of you voted for no… but I actually have met a Formula One driver! It’s not Max Verstappen, which some of you might think as I’m working at his official store. I do think and hope I will meet him one day though, so that’s a dream! But I’ve actually met my favourite F1 driver, Lando Norris! This was during my days at the grand prix, in which he was having his track walk on Thursday. Me and my friends saw him and as my friends didn’t dare to call him, I did. My exact words: “Lando? Sorry to interrupt, but could we maybe have a picture?” He replied with a ‘yeah’ and walked over towards us, after we took the picture. I didn’t want to be a basic person and say goodluck with the race, but I was too stunned to speak honestly, so I just thanked him for the picture. I wanted to tell him to enjoy the race, but I just froze because I couldn’t believe I actually met him.
I did also see him just after the race, after which I was waiting for my friends outside and I was leaning on the fence, checking my phone. It wasn’t too crowded, and there was a group of guys calling his name about 10 meters away from me, nobody else was around at this point. Lando’s carwindow was rolled down and he was waving at those guys. I still think that at that point it was a dream, but it definitely wasn’t. Lando then looked over at me, and I was still, really charmingly, leaning on the fence and checking my phone, but I made eye contact with him at that point. I wasn’t even smiling, I was just focussed on what was happening really. Here’s the thing that shocked me back then: he winked, and after that I immediately looked around and behind me, to see if maybe he was winking at another person, someone behind me or next to me, but there was nobody around me at that stage, so I just looked back to where he was, and I smiled, extremely shy. I probably was still processing what was happening. Anyways, once I smiled at him he smiled back at me and drove away. I just couldn’t believe what happened, and that moment literally felt like minutes, when in real life it was just a few seconds.
I really had my y/n moment there 😂😂😂
But that’s basically the story of how I ‘met’ Lando Norris! It was insane and I am so grateful for this opportunity I got.
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Would love to pull Thad out of his story and show him how much the original readers loved him. There were so many letters to the editor asking for more of him, and the editor was clearly rooting for this too and then apparently the next writers took one look at this sad child whom everyone wanted a happy ending for and said "irredeemable sociopath it is then!" :/ .
Kevin D.: I am VERY interested in this Inertia character. He is exactly what Bart needs: a challenge. Inertia has studied Bart/Impulse and knows everything about him. He thinks through before he fights. He is Bart's exact opposite. Now, is it true that he's Bart's twin brother or did I read wrong? Is he a clone of Bart? If so, I hope we find out where he came from. It's about time this story jump-starts on the action.
Wil M.: Inertia's a good villain, both as a character and visually--love the green.
Michael B.: And when is Inertia coming back? Huh? Huh? I miss him already. I want to have a date so I can count down!
Zach: I hope Inertia, Flash, and some more Young Justice pals show up. Bart is great as a solo character, but he is at his comical best when he is teamed with another hero.
"The Obsolete Man": Inertia's gradual change of heart when he was surrounded by the love and caring of Bart's friends and family was a logical thing. And the look on Inertia's face when Max called him "Bart" right before they went into the Speed Force was classic...a look into Inertia's mind that shows us that he's probably going to go through with his original plans and kill Max after all.
Michael B. (again): Inertia, on the other hand, just realized how pointless his existence is. In those few issues, Thad was fleshed out as a character, and he is obviously not your typical villain. I hope it's not the last time we see him. There's so much more to explore with this character. Inertia's sudden comprehension of the relationship between Bart and Max was a great moment. It's quite rare when a comic book moves me, but I actually felt sad when Inertia realized that no one ever loved him, that he had been used as a tool for someone else's revenge.
Andy B.: What happened to Inertia when he ran into the Speed Force? Did he return to his lab or is he really gone for good? [Editor: I'm putting your questions on hold, 'cause I'm so proud of Todd [Dezago]'s skill at raising Inertia from an "evil twin" type of character to one with real substance that I'm not gonna say anything here that might spoil a chance of a "return."]
"Starmansgal": My favorite part was right after Bart asked Inertia if he'd ever felt that way about anyone, and he said, "Hasn't anyone ever felt that way about YOU?" Inertia looks at Bart as he's holding onto Max for dear life, and replies, "No..." I felt sad for Inertia, because he's never known ANY kind of love in his life, giving OR receiving. [Editor: You realize that all this is music to their ears, right? Whaddya say, Todd, you ready to bring Inertia back for a curtain cail?]
Sarah F.: The most outstanding quality in Max, though, was his willingness to offer even Inertia a chance for a new, better life. It's sad, in a way, that Inertia reacted to the discovery of his empty life with a suicidal plunge into the Speed Storm. No more second chances for him. [Editor: Don't count out Inertia so fast, Sarah. Now that we've seen the depths of what Inertia is capable of, maybe Todd Dezago can be convinced to find some way for him to return, somewhat changed and chastened for the experience. After all, why should he behave exactly the same way as he has in previous appearances? The good thing about our DC Universe is that even its villains can change and grow and adapt!]
"Havk": Inertia: Bart's only serious foe. In their first fight, he had Bart outsmarted and outplanned by a long shot. And even though he "lost," he managed to turn that into a win. Then, in his next appearance, he could very easily have defeated Bart and Max, but he stopped himself.
#comicsposting again#note that a couple of these readers are female!#most readers who wrote in were male#but this series seemed to have a more vocal female readership (at least later in its run) compared to similar series around the same time
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The Myth of Sisyphus
This is going to be a longer post, just letting you all know. Albert Camus is one of my favorite authors, and The Myth of Sisyphus is one of my favorite essays to ever have been written, and I wanted to share it with all of you.
If you have any questions; please let me know. I'm always opened for answering those. Below the line is my ramble, but for those of you who do not know what it's about; it's basically the realization of the 'absurd' does not justify suicide, and instead requires "revolt." He then outlines several approaches to the absurd life in the book.
Brief Biography of Albert Camus
Albert Camus was born in Algeria when it was still a French colony. His father, Lucien, died in World War I when Camus was still a baby. Camus’ mother, an illiterate house cleaner, brought him up thereafter. Showing aptitude for his schooling, Camus was accepted to the University of Algiers. Here he developed his sense of political engagement, joining first the Communist Party and later the Algerian People’s Party. In 1930 he contracted tuberculosis, causing him to give up playing soccer (he was a skillful goalkeeper) and meaning he had to study part-time. He graduated in 1936. Camus joined the French Resistance at the beginning of World War II, and worked for an underground resistance newspaper, eventually becoming its editor in 1943. It was during his military service, too, that he met Jean-Paul Sartre, the existential philosopher. In 1942, Camus published The Myth of Sisyphus, the first of a number of works that strove to look at the meaning of life and elucidate Camus’ theory of absurdism. Also that year, he published his first novel The Outsider (also translated as The Stranger). The Plague followed in 1947, and The Fall in 1952. In 1957, Camus was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature (becoming the second youngest recipient after Rudyard Kipling). He died in 1960 as the result of a car accident. Camus was married twice, but had strong criticisms of the institution.
Historical Context of The Myth of Sisyphus
Albert Camus began writing at a turbulent time in the history of mankind. His father was a casualty of World War I, and not long after Camus found himself part of the French Resistance during World War II. The Vichy government had capitulated to the Nazis, surrendering Paris and much of the rest of France too. Perhaps this historical moment can be detected in The Myth of Sisyphus, which represents nothing less than an inquiry into the apparent meaninglessness of life. Furthermore, Camus’ military service kept him away from his native Algeria, perhaps evidenced by the book’s recurrent mention of man’s exile from the world (or from understanding the world). In employing the Greek myth of Sisyphus, though, Camus is keen to stress the ahistorical nature of what he is discussing. That is, though the warring of the twentieth century might have heightened the futility of life—made it more prominently visible—Camus sees the problem of absurdity as one simply fundamental to the human condition. For Camus, mankind’s longing for meaning in a meaningless world was a fact of existence in the past and will remain so in the future.
The feeling that life is meaningless is a consequence of certain unavoidable experiences in life.
If you were to ask someone, “Why do you choose to stay alive?” you might get a host of different answers. Some feel an obligation to family. Others might be driven by a curiosity about what life has in store for them. And some may have never considered the question at all and would reply with an exasperated eye roll.
Camus argues that the most common reason people choose to go on living is a general sense that our activities in life are worth doing.
This is especially true when we’re young, and life seems full of hope and promise. We’re driven by ambitions. We think of ourselves as progressing. And we feel that our actions have good reasons behind them.
But there comes a time in a person’s life when nagging doubts begin to nibble at this optimism. There are two experiences, in particular, that are prone to challenge life’s sense of purposefulness: the repetitive nature of our days and an increasing consciousness of our impending death.
In the grind of the nine-to-five work cycle, where eat, sleep, work, repeat is the mantra of our lives, the repetitive quality of our actions makes itself known. We begin to feel more like machines than people. And constant repetition is enough to drive out any passion we once found in our work. In the exhaustion that we feel at the end of a workday, it’s not uncommon for us to wonder what all this is really for.
To make matters worse, the inevitability of the final destination – death – only looms more and more prominently over our lives as we grow older. It serves as an ever-present reminder that nothing we do in life is of any lasting consequence.
In light of these two unpleasant experiences, it’s not uncommon for an individual to feel that her struggles and suffering in life are pointless.
This feeling that life has no ultimate value or meaning is what Camus calls the absurd.
The reason the absurd is so critical to the present discussion is that it’s directly related to the question of suicide.
It’s often assumed that if life has no meaning, then it isn’t worth living.
If this is true, then it presents a very real, very urgent, dilemma for anyone who feels this way about their life. Do they go on living in denial of the uncomfortable truth that colors their whole perspective, or do they end their life?
The overarching problem in these blinks is to examine whether meaninglessness does imply worthlessness or if it’s possible to live a good life in a meaningless world after all.
The absurd emerges in the confrontation between a person who craves understanding and a world that resists it.
So far, we’ve considered the absurd experience from the point of view of a sense of value. In the tedious toil of our work and in the uncomfortable awareness of our impending deaths, we witness the value of our activities evaporate before our eyes.
But there’s another type of absurd experience that has less to do with value and more with the impossibility of ever arriving at permanent knowledge or understanding of the world.
These intellectual types of absurd experiences tend to be momentary and surreal. For example, we have an absurd experience when we momentarily fail to recognize ourselves in the mirror. Or, another example is when, for a split second, an intimate loved one appears like a total stranger.
What’s common to these experiences is that objects are momentarily divested of the meaning we normally attribute to them. Instead, we see them in their naked materiality as pure things.
Such experiences confirm that the material universe is in itself devoid of meaning. Instead, it’s human minds that are responsible for imposing meaning and order on the world so that we can make sense of it. For example, we label this person a “friend,” that person a “lover,” and those things “shoes.” This works pretty well when it comes to navigating the world on a day-to-day basis.
The problem is that the world is infinitely more diverse and more complex than our limited ability to understand it allows. Objects are constantly overflowing the narrow labels that we place on them, forcing us to re-evaluate those labels. Things don’t remain “friends” or “lovers” or “shoes” forever.
And when it comes to the really big questions, such as understanding why the universe exists, our attempts at understanding are hopelessly futile. Camus compares the person who tries to understand the world to a sword fighter who attempts to take on a platoon of gunmen. Both figures are absurd insofar as they are so hopelessly ill-equipped for the task that faces them.
Thus, Camus defines absurdity as the confrontation between a person who craves meaning and understanding on the one hand and a world that constantly resists understanding on the other.
So, the person who feels the world to be absurd in this intellectual sense feels that any theory that claims to be a final explanation of the world is disingenuous. In all likelihood, we will never come to a satisfactory answer to the meaning of existence. So what then?
The flight into faith is an inauthentic evasion of our absurd situation.
The absurd experience is fundamentally uncomfortable. It implies that our burning desire for purpose and understanding in life will never be completely met.
For some people, this awareness is simply too intolerable to bear. Thus, they seek an escape from the impasse. The typical mode of escape is to turn back to the doctrines of religion and philosophy through faith.
In a sense, faith in a doctrine solves the problem of the absurd by offering people answers to the meaning of life as well as providing a pre-packaged blueprint for living. The problem Camus has with this “solution” to meaninglessness is that it’s born more out of terror than of reason.
Camus is not in the business of arguing that religions or philosophies are false. Rather, he merely points out that both religious and philosophical systems always end up depending upon assumptions that no one can possibly know for certain since they transcend lived human experience.
The only thing we can be sure of is our immediate sensory experience and the things contained within it. Any attempt to make claims beyond our experience is, therefore, an illegitimate move.
Of course, we might question the value of such an extreme adherence to certainty. If one has a more comfortable and enjoyable life with religious faith, isn’t that justification enough?
Well, the problem for Camus is not that blind faith is a betrayal of the truth. The truth is always uncertain, anyway. The problem is that turning to faith is a betrayal of oneself.
When people flee from the absurd into faith, they’re being deeply inauthentic. They are, in a sense, lying to themselves. They’re not living according to what they really believe in their hearts.
For Camus, one doesn’t solve the meaninglessness of life by pretending that it has meaning after all. The only authentic response is to accept and embrace meaninglessness for what it is.
In practice, this means three things: a total absence of hope for a better future, a continual rejection of any doctrine that claims to be an absolute answer to the meaning of life, and a conscious dissatisfaction that never goes away.
While this may seem like a recipe for a rather dreary existence, meaninglessness by no means prevents one from living a rich and fulfilled life. According to Camus, we must revolt against the absurd, not by denying it, but by living life to the fullest in spite of it.
The absurd is the condition for profound freedom.
In the previous blink, we heard the case for why taking refuge in religious faith is an inauthentic response to the absurd.
But, again, one might question the value of authenticity. If one lives a happier life with faith in God and an afterlife, then who cares if they’re being inauthentic?
Well, practically speaking, there are benefits to living authentically with the absurd. Over the next two blinks, we’ll discuss the two principal virtues of authentic living: freedom and passion.
While religious doctrines might placate the discomfort of the absurd by giving meaning to our lives, they also limit us to their interpretation of the world. By offering us a pre-packaged story of what we are and how we ought to live our lives, they confine a person to a monotonous and habitual mode of living.
When we, instead, abandon all attempts to impose meaning and order on our lives, we also abandon the obligation to live in a particular way. When we deny a higher power the right to dictate our lives for us, be it God or Fate or Morality, then how we live is something we must decide for ourselves.
Camus turns to fiction to find an example of someone who takes this logic to its fatal conclusion. Kirilov, a character in Dostoyevsky’s novel The Possessed, ends up getting killed by his own reasoning.
Kirilov argues that for life to have meaning, there must be a God. But since he doesn’t believe there is a God, he can’t believe that life has meaning. He concludes from this that he must kill himself – which he does. He also argues, somewhat absurdly, that through his suicide, he will become a God since the act will prove his absolute freedom and mastery over his own life.
While Camus agrees with Kirilov’s logic, he points out that actually going through with the act of suicide is not necessary to be free. All that is necessary is an awareness of the absurd.
Thus, we have an answer to the question of suicide. For Camus, suicide is not a legitimate response to the meaninglessness of life because it entails renouncing the freedom that this meaninglessness offers us. In this sense, hopeless suicide is just as inauthentic as hopeful faith. While they might seem like opposites, they are equivalent insofar as they both renounce the freedom entailed by absurdity.
The lack of hope in an afterlife leads to greater passion in this life.
Just as freedom is a logical consequence of the absurd life, so too is passion.
What’s meant by passion here is the sense of being present in the moment and having a direct relationship with the world in front of us.
The absurd stance leads to a greater appreciation of the present moment by liberating us from illusory visions of a better future in the next life.
The idea of an afterlife that is infinitely longer and more pleasurable than the one we’re currently living is inevitably going to devalue this life by comparison. These mirages prevent us from fully appreciating and taking advantage of the life we actually have.
By contrast, when we give up hope in an afterlife, all that’s left is this finite life here on Earth – so we better make the most of it.
While the knowledge that our lives are finite certainly causes discomfort, it also instills in us a sense of urgency to enjoy this life as best we can before we die.
This ethic of enjoyment is amplified by what Camus calls the overturning of quality in favor of quantity.
One of the logical outcomes of the absurd is that no experience is inherently more valuable than any other. If it's not possible to know whether there are any objective values, then there can’t be any way of conclusively affirming that one experience is better than another. The absurd leads to radical equality between all experiences.
This leads to a strange kind of ethic. Since it’s not possible to know what the best way of living is, you’re better off just trying to have as many experiences as possible before you die.
An example of someone who lived according to the ethic of quantity over quality is the notorious fictional seducer, Don Juan. This is a character who never shows any interest in achieving some perfect – and impossible – ideal of love. Rather, he merely aims to have as many short-lived, passionate affairs as possible before he dies. He dedicates his life to the pursuit of sensual pleasure, and he lives for the moment.
It’s important to note that Camus does not propose Don Juan as a model to be emulated, but merely an example of someone who pursued earthly pleasures with a passion. Ultimately, the kinds of experiences that you pursue in life are up to you.
Sisyphus’ punishment is emblematic of the human condition.
In Greek mythology, Sisyphus was a renowned king of the City of Corinth whose intelligence and craftiness in life earned him the ire of the gods.
There are differing accounts as to how he managed to earn the gods’ displeasure. In one story, it’s said he put Death in chains, thereby temporarily ending death on Earth and forcing the gods to intervene.
Sisyphus is, however, more famous for the punishment he received for his misdeeds in the underworld. He was eternally condemned to push a rock to the top of a mountain, only to see it roll back down to the bottom. Each time, he would have to walk back and repeat the process over again.
The gods had good reason to believe that they could have found no worse punishment for Sisyphus. What makes the punishment so tortuous is not the labor itself but Sisyphus’ awareness that his labor is pointless and futile.
It’s precisely this awareness that makes Sisyphus a hero of the absurd, for he is completely aware of his hopeless fate, and yet he continues to live it anyway.
Of course, in Sisyphus’ punishment, Camus sees the fate of all mankind. Whether we work nine to five or not, all of us engage in repetitive daily tasks and struggles that are, in the grand scheme of things, just as absurd and futile as pushing a rock up a mountain.
That sounds pretty bleak. But, still, that doesn’t mean we should despair. For even Sisyphus’ eternal labor isn’t entirely tragic.
In a remarkable twist of fate, says Camus, rather than being crushed by the awareness of the hopelessness of his situation, Sisyphus is liberated by it. That’s because a fate only seems intolerable when placed in contrast with the illusion of a better life. But, Sisyphus is free of the illusion that he will ever have anything more than what he already has. Thus, he does not compare his fate to something better. He merely acknowledges his condition and accepts it for what it is.
Camus imagines that in that period of respite when Sisyphus is walking down the mountain to retrieve his rock, that he feels a strange sort of satisfaction. Despite everything, he has become attached to his rock. If Sisyphus sometimes feels sorrow at his condition, we shouldn’t be surprised if he sometimes feels joy as well.
Like Sisyphus, we, too, can find joy and satisfaction in the struggle.
Final summary
For Camus, the complexity of the world will always exceed our ability to comprehend it. What’s more, we will never discover an ultimate meaning to our lives simply by examining the world around us. That means we have three choices: we could turn to faith in unprovable doctrines to give meaning to our lives; we could die by suicide; or we can be brave and accept the meaninglessness of existence for what it is. Camus believes the third option is the most authentic. But this doesn’t mean we must live a difficult and unhappy life. While the absurd experience is certainly the source of confusion and suffering at times, it’s also the condition for a freer and more passionate existence here on Earth.
Other Books Related to The Myth of Sisyphus
Camus studied philosophy at university, and an inquiry into the meaning of life—or lack of—forms the basis of much of his work. In The Myth of Sisyphus, Camus defines his philosophy of absurdism—which, in brief, is the confrontation between man’s longing for meaning and the world’s refusal to provide it—through discussion of other philosophers.
In fact, Camus explicitly claims not to be a philosopher, such is the distinction he draws between himself and these other writers. Accordingly, Soren Kierkegaard, Karl Jaspers, Edmund Husserl and Friedrich Nietzsche all crop up intermittently throughout the work. Camus feels all of them have one fatal flaw (aside, perhaps, from Nietzsche): that they try to resolve the absurd, rather than finding a way to live with it in full view.
Later in the book, Camus turns to literature in an effort to see if absurd art is possible. He praises the Russian novelist, Fyodor Dostoevsky (author of Crime and Punishment and Notes from Underground), for his ability to show the absurd as it functions in daily life, but criticizes Dostoevsky, the man, for turning back to God in order to resolve life’s meaninglessness.
In the book, Camus also cites Franz Kafka, Honoré de Balzac, Marcel Proust and others as writers whom he feels expose the absurdity of life in their work. Camus’ own novels, such as The Plague, where to exert a great influence on the twentieth century and beyond.
#essayist#philosophy#absurdism#albert camus#writeblr#writing#book summary#fyodor dostoyevsky#franz kafka#honore de balzac#marcel proust#female writers#queer writers#my writing#original content#original writing#lgbtq writers
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youtube
Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc
The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!
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*slams money on the stand* 💵💵💵
TELL ME ABOUT ISKALLS PLUTONIUM PACEMAKER
oh and lemonade too
I carefully fill a red solo cup with lemonade and slide it across the table. I take the American bills and put them in my cash box alongside a giant Rai from the island of Yap, three Turkish Lira, and two Sestertii.
Back in the 1970's, various medical technology companies were experimenting with ways to make pacemakers longer lasting. Batteries, you see, need to be replaced, and when the device in question is implanted into the human body, the resulting "replacement" means surgery. This is generally a bad thing, because every time someone has to be sedated it introduces risks to their health and wellbeing, alongside surgery just being somewhat risky in general.
So, a longer lasting battery was very attractive to both doctors and patients alike. Enter stage right: Plutonium.
A plutonium-powered pacemaker uses the radioactive decay to generate heat, which is captured in a thermocouple and used to generate the electricity that stimulates the heart. The reason it's so interesting is that there are plutonium pacemakers implanted in the 70's that are still working. (Theoretically, all my sources are from like, 2007 and such, so that may have changed in the intervening decade.) Plutonium batteries don't need replacing because it takes decades for them to decay away. Eighty years on, by some estimates, that little device would still have enough jam to keep your ticker ticking.
There are some drawbacks. Yes, you will receive additional radiation, although no more than a dental x-ray. Yes, it's plutonium, so being incinerated in a crematory furnace or getting shot with a bullet were real, serious concerns for the manufacturers of the devices, since if the case was breached the resultant mess would be a radiological hazard. Oh, and it was FFFFFFFUCKING expensive, but who cares about that, not me.
Oh, and additionally: In the intervening time, medical technology has advanced and progressed. In the real-world, staying on standard battery tech over that entire time meant you could get upgraded to better and better sorts of pacemakers- apparently the preferred location on the heart for the wire has changed since the 70's, and modern pacemakers allow for more variable stimulation to make things a bit more natural, instead of the steady constant jolt those old plutonium pacemakers supplied. So really, the reason we don't still use them is because technology IRL marched on, and lithium became "Good enough" to do the job. It's safer, cheaper, and the risks are acceptable to doctors and patients alike.
I pause to take a drink of my own lemonade from my own cup.
To drag this spiel back around to block men, I think Iskall requires a pacemaker for whatever life-altering event took their arm and their eye. That eye is a prosthetic, fight me. Since one day in minecraft land is 20 real-life minutes, then that does imply that Mx. Skall has been alive for centuries in-universe.
And if your life expectancy is measured in the quadruple digits, suddenly a battery replacement once a decade (as you would have to do with a modern lithium battery) stops being an acceptable risk (as it is in the real world- there's a good reason we don't use plutonium pacemakers anymore!) and veers off into a VERY unacceptable risk. It's just so much more frequent for you- instead of being something that might happen four or five times in the remainder of your lifespan, it's happening dozens of times. Dozens and dozens of surgeries to replace batteries- that's going to add up, and something WILL go wrong at some point.
So, plutonium.
What do you get for the semi-guy who is mostly immortal?
A battery that'll last just as long as them.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Here's a picture of a plutonium pacemaker.
You want some more lemonade?
#Iskall85#Medical history#mcyt headcanons#plutonium pacemaker#magnetar writes#feel free to correct me if I made any mistakes!
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Hello! Can I request a personal card reading? (I'm using a translator, sorry if something is spelled weird) Lately I'm practicing a lot but mainly looking for information about Shifting and taking it easy. I would like to know if there is anything I should know about that, maybe some advice or message from my desired reality? Do I have to specify a DR?
Hello @xxygm93! Sure, I can do a reading for you. 😊 You don't necessarily have to specify a DR. I will just see what message I can get for you, you will probably understand its meaning.
But remember to just take from the reading what resonates. Don't limit yourself to this. No matter what I get in this reading, at the end of the day you will always be the one who decides what will happen, okay? So, let's see what kind of advice and messages we have for you... (by the way, nice profile picture😎)
I asked if there is anything specific you need to know? - I got : ❝ No. You already know everything you need to know. ❞
What is important right now? - Inner peace. You need quietness to reflect, to feel which impulses and insights are rising within you. Make sure that you are undisturbed at this time and try to get rid of any distractions.
There is much more to life than is apparent at first glance. Try to notice in your everyday life the vastness of yourself and of the universe. See yourself as a part of it all. Practice increasing your awareness every now and then in your daily life.
Think about the following questions to find out more about your inner beliefs: What burden in your life is pushing you to the ground? What (higher) power do you feel exposed to? Where are you being stubborn and where do you let yourself be open for compromise? What kind of freedom do you long for?
Reality shifting is a ‘quiet power’ and based on everyone’s inner truth. Don’t misuse your power (in regards to yourself). Work on your integrity and on the respect you have for yourself. Try to care more about yourself and your wellbeing. And try to be less judgemental, controlling or cynical. Think from an objective point of view before making a decision. You will recognize that you do not need to be in a spotlight. You also do not necessarily need to follow the norm, choose to do things with your own special touch/in your own special way. It might help you to also focus on how you can bring abundance to others as well - perhaps to the people in your DR.
You’re being strongly asked to look within. Be careful with jealousy and codependency. Work on those issues. You don’t need approval from someone/something. Your subconscious has all the answers. Things are being hidden from you right now. Follow your intuition/you’re being guided intuitively.
Furthermore, don’t be too stubborn, you seem to refuse to compromise. There is no fight left to be fought. You’re the last one standing. Let your guard down. There is no need to be defensive anymore. You’re exhausted already, aren’t you? I see you starting to become unsure about your shifting motivations. Stop working under pressure and take a break. Avoid making any hasty decisions right now. Think about possible mistakes which were made or about misunderstandings that you keep holding on to in your shifting journey. It’s the last hurdle on your journey. Learn from your past experiences and let it go to step forward in your journey.
Acknowledge what you’ve already achieved. Don’t undermine the time and energy you have put in, okay? There is no need anymore to ‘fight’ for your happiness, you just need to think and reflect for now. Rest for a bit. Try to appreciate the small joys and bring back feelings of lightheartedness and humor to your shifting journey to discover an opportunity for yourself.
When something new begins it is often linked with strong and even overwhelming emotions. Feelings are a part of the journey. Don’t suppress your feelings but also don’t let them control you, okay? Try to keep a certain distance or coolness while going along with them. You have feelings because you're human but always remember that you’re more than your feelings. Reflect on your motivations for shifting and honestly think about what you want to experience and what you don’t want to experience. And then keep your eyes on your goal/motivation. A sudden change in your life may happen some time soon.
[ LITTLE MESSAGES FROM YOUR DR ]
(These messages seemed to be from a specific someone. Perhaps from your DR s/o?...)
++ ❝ open your heart (for me) ❞
++ ❝ I will enter your life soon ❞
++ ❝ perhaps not today but surely at another time ❞
++ ❝ just let it be ❞
++ ❝ time doesn’t matter, we have more than enough time (don't stress yourself) ❞
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Meet You There Tour Masterlist
Be What You Need (ao3) - elliebird
Calum/Ashton
E, 1k
Summary: This takes place in August 2018 on the Meet You There tour.
Bleeding heart (ao3) - exhiled_spirit
Luke/Ashton
M, 35k
Summary: Time changes. Some would say that all of his wishes came true and in some way they did. That's why he stopped wishing upon the stars like he did when he was a naive child. Because all those wishes led him up to this moment in time. A time where Luke stopped wishing upon a star and instead felt himself become one. Each and every day he felt his mind leaving his body and float away. It's only a matter of time now until he's leaving the atmosphere and becomes a floating rock himself. A rock without its glow, just a cold hard rock that no one sees and cares about.
Or Luke's past relationship haunts his ever waking moment and everything comes crashing down during the highly anticipated Meet You There Tour.
If I Can Dream Long Enough (ao3) - TeamAstrid
G, 2k
Summary: Luke leans back, closes his eyes and lets the setting sun wash over his face, lets his fingers find a rhythm of their own. Third fret, fifth string. Tenth fret - his fingers hop up and down the guitar. Seventh fret. Fifth fret - no, keep the riff. He loses himself in it, until the wind and the birds and the distant, roaring cars fall silent in the face of the music he’s making by himself for the first time in eternity.
i like the way, your crazy matches mine (ao3) - yehwellwhatever
Michael/Luke
E, 5k
Summary: Michael and Luke went to Christiania together, just the two of them, when they were in Copenhagen for the Meet You There tour. They were late to get back for their soundcheck experience and Ashton covered for them.
Off-stage (ao3) - nothingliketherain (39_killer_queen)
OT4
T, 6k
Summary: “So we’re kissing each other on stage now?” Ashton asks while they sit around eating their dinner after the show.
Luke chokes audibly on his California Spring roll, forcing Michael to give him a few thumps on his back. With watery eyes, he glances at Calum, sitting across from him and finds him grinning back smugly. Neither of them says anything. It’s Michael who says, “yeah, what was that about?” looking directly at Calum who shrugs nonchalantly.
“Dunno, I just felt like doing it,” he says, leaning back on his palms, still looking at Luke. “Luke doesn’t mind, do you, Luke?”
The truth is Luke does mind. He minds a lot. Not because he doesn’t like it, but because it messes with his head— leaves him feeling a little floaty and distracted.
***
Or 3 times the boys kiss Luke on stage + 1 time Luke kisses them all off stage.
Stage Lights (ao3) - elivigar
Luke/Ashton
E, 14k
Summary: No, beyond the initial surprise the sting of arousal brought him, Ashton doesn’t worry about his apparent interest in penises and what said interest might mean. Maybe it means nothing at all, maybe it means he’s not as straight as he’s been led to believe up until this point in time. Whether it’s option one, option two or something in between, Ashton doesn’t really care.
But why did the penis that made him question everything have to be Luke’s?
the blood in my veins is made of mistakes (ao3) - sarcasticbarnes
Michael/Luke, Calum/Ashton
T, 1k
Summary: Four months into the Meet You There tour, and Michael is suprised this hasn’t happened sooner.
Or,
A security guard pushes Michael into the crowd during Meet You There, and a guy assualts him. Luke loses his shit.
Unexplainable (ao3) - ashxtodd (orphan_account)
Calum/Ashton
E, 6k
Summary: Ashton just wants a good night’s rest before he has a show to put on the next day and repeat this process again and again. But apparently this cycle is too boring for the universe, so it decides to make Ashton’s already very complicated life, even more complicated by making him wake up the next day in his best friend’s body instead of his own (how the fuck is that even possible?)
The problem is, that isn’t even the only problem. The other problem is that Ashton’s completely oblivious to his best friend’s feelings towards him – so this bodyswap makes Calum lose his god damn mind when he has to face Ashton’s dick every single day (the universe just wants to torture him, he decides).
Worst of all, Ashton realizes that Calum has a very high sex drive and since he’s really not that experienced in the gay sex department. So he asks Calum to help him, which only drives Calum even more nuts. But hey, friends with benefits always end great (not).
The fact that Michael and Luke know too much is another problem.
What's Up Sad Boy? (ao3) boomercal
Calum/Ashton
NR, 1k
Summary: Cashton, fluff, on tour and Calum's really sad about something, so Ash makes him feel better.
when you're up close (ao3) - toddamyanderson
Luke/Calum
M, 5k
Summary: It’s a lot more wild tonight, more free, and maybe that's because it’s just the two of them here, dancing in a random bar in London while the rest of the band and crew are probably asleep back at the hotel. Calum’s not complaining though, he likes it when it’s just the two of them. Luke and Calum, Calum and Luke, like it always is.
#5sosfanfictioncatalogue#5sos fanfic#5sos#5 seconds of summer#meetyoutheretour masterlist#meetyoutheretour#masterlists#touring#tour
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Hi...... If you don't mind me asking, what are your top 10 favorite books ever (fiction)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks...
no i don’t think i have answered that before🤔
thanks for asking! :D this is in loose most to least favorite order let's goooo
1. the lymond chronicles by dorothy dunnett. let’s get the enfant terrible out of the way. i love historical adventure stories and have a fictional crush on the mc of proportions embarrassing at my respectable old age. a gallant renaissance courtier, a cunning swashbuckler, a brilliant schemer, a queer icon, a tortured soul, a secret agent extraordinaire “whose tongue is as sharp as his rapier”, the Man, the Myth, the Legend - lymond has it all. if only i could condone the narrative tomfoolery of the last two installments, the lemon saga would’ve become my favorite series of all time. still gotta put it in the first spot bc rn i’m biased - i’m re-reading it with my bestie and hell’s own apollo is very much there, inside my mind💖
2. the secret history by donna tartt is the book that established dark academia - a lucrative subgenre of mediocre campus novels trying to imitate tsh written by authors who unfortunately don’t understand what makes it iconic. the secret special ingredient being some substance under the aesthetics and - how do i put it without sounding like a snob - literary value. this is not the main reason why i love it though, not the thing that made me binge it overnight several years ago which was how i found my way back into reading after uni drained me of any desire to do it - those were the characters. i think they’re fun and relatable in terms of qualities which i’m not necessarily proud of but which are nevertheless an integral part of my personality - such as, for example, being a snob.
3. all for the game by nora sakavic is probably the most unique book i have ever read - and that’s saying something bc i read over one hundred per year. do i dare to attempt to explain what it is about in a concise manner? no, i don’t think so. i’ll just say i love it bc it showed me what can be achieved if the author isn’t constrained by arbitrary rules of storytelling or social conventions or judgements of “good taste”, bc it inspired me to actively participate in an online fandom for the first time and to build a community of tumblr mutuals (which tbh was probably the only thing that helped me stay sane throughout 2020), bc it made so many memories and experiences click into place and made me realize i’m aroace and queer. i’m glad i discovered it at the right time in my life and i genuinely believe it’s in its rightful place next to the more “highbrow” books on this list.
4. harry potter. unlike many fans i read hp relatively late in my teens and so i don’t think i could say i’d grown up with it or that it had been an important part of my childhood. nevertheless when i read this series it captured my heart and soul and it never lost its charm on each subsequent re-read. now jkr is being rightfully condemned and the story itself viewed with increasing criticism, but still i can’t agree with people who claim it was never good in the first place. something is very special about hp, something contemporary authors apparently can’t recreate or another middle grade or ya fantasy would’ve overshadowed it by now. i used to think this special thing can’t be tainted by the discourse but to tell the truth now i’m not so certain anymore. maybe i’m just becoming more and more disillusioned with the idea of escaping from real life problems into magical fictional worlds... watch starkid’s a very potter musical on youtube if you haven’t already btw.
5. confusion by stefan zweig is a novella written in the 1920s and it follows a relationship between a young university student and his mysterious english professor who has a dark secret. this is probably (and unfortunately) the least famous book on this list and so i have made it my mission to recommend it to people as often as possible. zweig is a wonderful writer who focuses on deep dives into the characters’ psyche and interpersonal relationships that can’t be easily defined or put into boxes. i can’t really explain why this obscure short story is in my top 5 favorite books of all time without going into spoilers but i will say that i myself fully understood why it’s so important to me only after i realized i’m aroace. it doesn’t have any aroace characters - that would’ve been too galaxybrain for the time period - but the questions the protag grapples with in the story are in my opinion some quintessential aspec questions which i sadly haven’t seen explored in any aspec rep book i’ve read so far.
6. eugene onegin by alexander pushkin. despite its immense fame and popularity in russia and all the lands it colonized, some western readers might not be familiar with this classic - i assume because it’s written in verse and so even the best translator wouldn’t be able to render this text in all its glory. i have re-read onegin countless times, far more often than any other book on this list, and each time it presented itself from a new angle: as a 12yo i thought it was a failed love story, as a 20yo i thought it was a failed friendship story and now, that i’m the same age as onegin at the end of the book, my conclusion is it’s about how some people just can’t be happy. how very byronic lol
7. a song of ice and fire by george rr martin. i used to believe this is the superior adult fantasy series bc of its complex and compelling characters - but that doesn’t seem right bc many authors offer good character work. what actually sets asoiaf apart imo is what i call “complex morality” - this is basically grey morality except as applied to the world instead of, as it commonly is, to the characters. a “morally grey character” is, especially today, a pretty uninspired narrative tool if they exist in a world where good and evil are real and absolute categories. despite the fact that many readers (but mostly, i think, the show viewers) have divided the asoiaf cast into the “good” ones, the “bad” ones and the “redeemable” ones (ugh), i believe martin succeeded in creating a world where each character will inevitably end up on the crossroads between a bad action and a worse one and their choice will be a juicy insight into the conditio humana. for some reason i like when the fiction i read for escapism reflects my cynical pessimist outlook🤷♂️
8. the three musketeers by alexandre dumas. the og historical swashbuckling adventure story, the first book (series) i was ever obsessed with. can’t say much about this one bc i read it when i was 12 and haven’t re-read it since, my love for it being kept alive throughout the years by the soviet tv adaptation. i really want to re-read it soon but also i’m nervous that it won’t live up to my childhood memories. still had to put it on the list bc in many aspects it was foundational to my tastes in media and fiction.
9. the talented mr ripley by patricia highsmith. before the secret history dethroned it by offering similar themes in a more attractive package, this used to be my favorite book. no one can write a queercoded sociopath like highsmith. i remember finishing the book, then starting it again immediately bc i was just fascinated by ripley’s mind, by how subtle the writing was and how it managed to convey a sense of constant anxiety and tension. i think tom ripley is an important figure in the fictional serial killer canon and deserves more attention from fans of guys like hannibal lecter and joe goldberg. hopefully the upcoming mini-series will do him justice - as in “faithfully depict and popularize his story”. real justice being done to him is the last thing ripley wants lol
10. a little life by hanya yanagihara. a very important novel whose broad thematic range is overshadowed by the notoriety it gets in the online book community bc of its heavy subject matter. this book wants you to witness the darkest moments of one man’s life, follow him on this tragic journey and see how the society that means to help often ends up harming further bc it fails to acknowledge many uncomfortable truths about individual mental health. honestly i could spend hours talking about all the subversive and taboo topics this book explores and why it’s important and why it’s bad that we don’t engage with them more often, but if i had to pick one it would be the idea that some of us will only get a little life to enjoy and that is okay and our experience is still worth recounting and witnessing, it’s still valuable and liberating even if it doesn’t fit into the common understanding of “happiness” which anyway is nothing but a construct that can seem misleading and oppressive depending on one’s experiences. ngl i couldn’t in good conscience “recommend” this book to anyone, as in “suggest they read it”, but i think i personally will revisit it at different stages in my life bc i’m sure it will reveal new depths. and also bc, as you should’ve gathered from this list, i like pain😅😬
other books i consider my all time favorites that didn’t make the list: the hunchback of notre dame, wuthering heights, phantom by susan kay, perfume: the story of a murderer, gentlemen and players by joanne harris, howl’s moving castle, captive prince, the grandmaster of demonic cultivation (mo dao zu shi), the history boys, crime and punishment
#book tag#asks#ngl i'm pretty smug about how eclectic my tastes are#or not bc most of these are about queer fucked up guys lol
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youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
#ACLA24#ACLA24Leaders#youtube#youtube video#climate leaders#climate solutions#climate action#climate and environment#climate#climate change#climate and health#climate blog#climate justice#climate news#weather and climate#environmental news#environment#environmental awareness#environment and health#environmental#environmental issues#environmental justice#environment protection#environmental health#Youtube
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