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chipthekeeper · 5 months

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okay as promised, all my thoughts that no one asked for on the mario kart bracket. i know i picked mario kart deluxe characters but i actually see this as a competition happening on the wii (greatest console in history)

Kino as Baby Daisy vs. Wilmon as Yoshi -- this is very simple. you cannot beat a teenage boy at a video game unless you are a teenage girl. kino, famously not a teenage girl, quits halfway through

Nemik as Waluigi vs. Brasso as Luigi -- mario kart is the one fun, mindless thing that nemik does in his life. but even it is done with all his brainpower. he navigates that track like a boss. brasso, with the best mario kart driver luigi (non-biased opinion of course), does well and easily finishes second but is not mad at all to lose to this kid

Partagaz as Tanooki Mario vs. Leida as Baby Luigi -- leida has logged many hours on the mario kart track because perrin makes her play against him all the time and she has become by far the best player in her tradwife-to-be club. partagaz simply spends the whole race wondering why his avatar is a fox

Jezzi as Lemmy vs. Taga as King Boo -- taga is a nerd, i believe this in my bones. thus he is all over this chance to win a gaming competition. jezzi has better things to care about but tries her hardest

Bix as Wendy vs. Taramyn as Peach -- taramyn is unironically glad to have drawn peach in the draft. he goes all out because this is the most fun he's had in literal years. bix is just as invested though and leads almost the whole race until a blue shell takes her out with two turns to go and taramyn seizes the opportunity

Time Grappler as Toad vs. Mosk as Rosalina -- time grappler is just quietly perfect at this. mosk spends the whole time wanting to police anyone who "violates traffic laws" by going off-course

Syril as Koopa Troopa vs. Cassian as Cat Peach -- cassian races his heart out trying to blow away the competition, not because the competition is syril (who?) but because he got stuck with cat peach. meanwhile syril sees this as the most important competition of his life and spends the whole race thinking he is blowing everyone (especially andor) away....only to be told when it ends that he was looking at the wrong side of the screen and has been racing backwards the whole time

Corv as Metal Mario vs. Blevin as Dry Bowser -- this is a frequent competition in the ISB break room. chairs have been broken. other officers steer clear of the hallway when these two go at it. they go back and forth all the time and are very evenly matched. blevin wins this time by a hair but gloats about it for weeks

Luthen as Dry Bones vs. Gorn as Larry -- both say they do not care. gorn means it. luthen ends up caring SO MUCH. he gets strategic and bitchy with the items and wins, but gorn does better than anyone expects and comes in second

Lonni as Pink Gold Peach vs. Perrin as Toadette -- a matchup of two very different dads. lonni is happy to get pink gold peach because he has his daughter on his lap and she likes it. he ends up giving his controller to her to chew on and doesn't finish the race. perrin is a stay-at-home dad and gamer husband who lives on monster energy drinks sipped from champagne flutes. he would've won easily even if lonni hadn't stopped halfway through

Timm as Lakitu vs. Vel as Bowser -- vel is a giant tomboy who grows up wanting to be a racer of any kind and this is the closest she will ever get to doing that. she murders timm who is really just a turd out there

Saw as Baby Rosalina vs. Eedy as Ludwig -- saw wants to quit halfway through because this is a waste of his time but he sees that the controller is too big for eedy's hands somehow and cruises to victory

Skeen as Bowser Jr. vs. Melshi as Baby Peach -- skeen insists they play on rainbow road. melshi agrees because he's an agreeable guy. skeen is just ahead of him for most of the race but it's very close. ultimately skeen can't handle the pressure and falls off the track at the last turn, leaving melshi a clear track to victory. skeen's remote ends up buried in the drywall

Kleya as Wario vs. Cinta as Shy Guy -- cinta has never cared about anything less in her life. kleya, despite protests to the contrary, cares so much. she is ruthless with the items and bullies her way to victory

Dedra as Daisy vs. Bee as Baby Mario -- dedra spends much of her time in the race overcorrecting on the turns because the controls are too touchy. ultimately it doesn't matter because bee's processor and battery are too old to help him win on such technology as the wii

Tay as Donkey Kong vs. Mon as Mario -- tay is very happy to be donkey kong but even happier that mon is mario because she is nervous and not very good at this but he tells her that mario has an advantage because it's his game. this gives her confidence enough to do well and even though he could beat her if he wanted to, he lets her have the much needed dub

#this was a lot and is so very stupid #but there you have it #i'm going to the comic book store now #and then getting out the wii #wandor wednesday wars #andor #my posts

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struttinevilshroom · 7 months

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Papa's Freezeria Deluxe is the Greatest Game Ever Made (and I'm not joking)

That statement sounds like a joke but I am being 100% serious. I'll say it again, Papa's freezeria deluxe is the greatest game ever made or atleast it's my favorite game ever. You see, I'm not much of a gamer and I'm only discovering the world of video games now that I know piracy and have money to spend on games. The games that I bought as a child were usually second hand and on a console that was slowly being pushed out of the mainstream by the next one in line so games became more difficult to find and I stopped playing. I don't have many games that really stood out to me from my childhood, maybe Cars 2 for the Playstation 3 but I say that in a joking tone. If you were to ask any one of my friends what games from their childhood left an impact on them, they'd have a myriad of answers to give you. My one friend that I've mentioned in the Pikmin 4 review would probably choose every game in the Wii library. For me though, one game stands out and that is Papa's Freezeria, the original one. I think back on that game and that time very fondly. Me, my sister and my cousin were all huddled around my small laptop, taking turns and swapping after every day in game. We played the other Papa Louie titles and those all improved on Papa's Freezeria by adding fancy new features and bells and whistles to make them look superior to their predecessors but no matter how many new aspects they added to the later releases, I always went back to Papa's Freezeria.

When I think about the evolution of the Papa Louie games, I think about something my science teacher usually says "build your science scaffold everyday" this quote is actually seemingly unrelated but my debate coach says that it's always good to use quotes to get a point across and the point that I want to get across is that the Papa Louie games all build on one another. At the core is very stable formula that every game employs but with each title, they build on that like a scaffold, see it wasn't unrelated (it was unrelated but just roll with it) but the thing is my debate coach also mentioned that another good way to get a point across is through reference to stories or anecdotes. What is a scaffold without a good foundation, it's like that story from the Bible about the house on the rocks vs the house on the sand. The house on the sand would inevitably fall no matter how well it is built. No matter how many fancy bells and shiny whistles they add, without a good formula at the core of a Papa Louie title, it will fall. They all have the same formula but I feel that Papa's Freezeria perfected it. Every Papa Louie game has the Order station, the Build station, the Wait station and the Top station. Order station is where customers Order food, the build station is where you build the plate, wait station is where you cook the food which results in the player having to wait a certain amount of time, the top station is where you add finishing touches like decorations. Sounds simple but some games really mess this up by making the wait times too long (Papa's Taco Mia) or the top station too difficult (Papa's Sushiaria) or even too simple (Papa's Burgeria). Papa's Freezeria got this formula right from the get go. The formula is not too complicated but it has nuance, it appears challenging and impossible until you get the hang of it.

Every customer grades you individually on each station and then gives you an average based off of all the stations, you begin to fall into a groove where you get 99% ratings consistently, I've gotten a perfect score twice in a row with the strictest customer. Not that this game is easy, it's a system that you have to find for yourself.

Now, when Papa's Freezeria Deluxe came out, I was ill, I was really feverish and I thought I'd never play a Papa Louie title ever again due to Flash going down but then I saw Jerma play Papa's Freezeria Deluxe on steam and I bought it immediately. By the way if you think that Papa's Freezeria is too easy, watch Jerma play it, I watched this man struggle for 5 hours and like in that one episode of Breaking Bad where they play the full theme song, my ego got the better of me and I got up and had to show this old man how it's done, even in my sick state (it wasn't that bad, I'm jusy trying to craft a scene here). I downloaded the game and me and my sister played for 5 hours straight. I wrote a steam review on the game that quadruples the length of any essay I've written for school.

It was odd though, revisiting something from your childhood and being a completely different person now that you're experiencing it again. When I first played Papa's Freezeria, I must've been 9 years old, my sister 5, my cousin 11. Now revisiting it, I'm 17 years old, thinking about college and university, my sister is 13 years old, wondering how she's gonna adjust to high school, my cousin is 19 years old in her first year of university, just trying to keep herself afloat. As much as things have changed since then, it took me back and even for 5 hours, I was able to feel like a kid again and i didn't have to stress about school or if my marks are good enough for whatever university I had in mind Back then and I could just enjoy the game, it was lovely. I play it to calm myself down, I worry too much, I'm always overthinking every minute detail in everything and I drive myself crazy. Look at this review, it's just a game where you make sundaes but I've extrapolated some profound meaning out of it. My worrying helps me in my reviews a lot and it helps me to be descriptive in my writing but outside of that it's nothing but a bother and I'm sure we all worry too much at times, this game is good for that, you don't have to worry once you get in the groove of it. I also admire the tropical setting of it all, the music which gets repetitive and I usually have other music playing in a YouTube tab.

Man, this game means a lot to me. I love that they made this Deluxe edition and I've heard through the wire that there's another release in November of this year. I recommend it, it's worth every penny. It really does mean a lot to me and I've always known that in the back of my mind but now writing this and actually stating how much it means to me, I finally realize the full extent of what this game means to me. Thank you for reading this one, even if it was about Papa's Freezeria and maybe too pretentious but I've come to terms with the fact that I'm pretentious and that's OK, atleast it gives these reviews some personality. Anyway, I'll catch you later with something else I'm not sure what just yet.

#papa louie #flipline studios #papa's freezeria #review #game review #video games #childhood games

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mental-mario · 7 months

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Star Fox Assaulted

Hi all, I apologize for the absence, but I was hospitalized this week in a psych ward, and they took my phone and no internet access. I am planning to post about my experience in there, which will likely need to be spread out across several posts. So be on the lookout for that. To let you in on a quick preview, I had a rough time of it last week and did harm myself (cutting). That led to my psych doc telling me to either go to the hospital myself or he was gonna have me go in cuffs. I was hospitalized for three days, and it was my first experience in an inpatient institution, as a patient (I do have some experience as a former medical professional). It was interesting to see the perspective from the other side of the coin, to say the least.

Star Fox 64 is obviously one of the greatest games of all time. If you disagree with that statement, you're wrong. The Star Fox series has had a rough go of it since way back then, including the wonky control schemes of the DS and Wii U games. And as interested as I was to play SF2, which they finally let see the light of day on the SNES online, that game didn't really keep my interest either, tbh. The GameCube, however, was an awesome console with a bunch of great games that ran quite smoothly in comparison to the N64. I spent a lot of days and nights as a senior in high school and college freshman playing games like Smash Bros Melee and Star Fox Assault.

Unlike Star Fox Adventures, Assault was an actual SF sequel, and I think it is highly underrated because I don't see much mention of it anywhere I look. The game, of course, had smoother graphics and ran at better framerate, and it was also a blast to play from what I remember. It's been a long time (and I don't currently have a GameCube), but I remember the controls were fluid with a compelling story as a cannon entry in the series. The Arwing action returned, and I particularly enjoyed some of the on-foot missions, including running around Corneria city and one mission where Fox is on foot and shooting up at the sky to help Falco in his Arwing.

I could be wrong on this, but I feel like a lot of people perhaps missed playing this game, since I rarely ever hear it mentioned. If you have a GC, I highly recommend trying it out for yourself, and if you do, let me know what you think! I personally am hoping and wishing that Nintendo will add GC games to Switch Online, and I hope they release a GC Switch controller to go with it! I feel like that is one move they could make for the Switch in its (rumored) final year before an alleged new console is announced and released. As a side note, the ability to play Melee online would be amazing!

Anyway, that is the end of my SF rant, and I will plan to recount my experience in the psych ward, hopefully starting with my next post. If anyone else has prior experience with hospitalization for mental health issues, please chime in and share! I wish you good health and take your meds!

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girl4music · 9 months

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youtube

Okay,… you never asked for it but I’m going to go on a long rant anyway because I’m just that kind of person.

‘Twilight Princess’ isn’t just my favourite Legend Of Zelda game. It’s also my favourite video game of all-time. I’ve played it countless times over 100% both on the GameCube and the Wii (mostly on the GameCube because that mirror-switch was just unnecessary - LINK IS LEFT-HANDED!) and it’s timeless to me.

The main reason why is Midna and I really have to explain why she’s the main reason because if you knew me you would know just how important character is to me in art/entertainment. She’s my favourite Zelda character of all-time. Her character representation and development is handled superbly for a video game, and, like you, I loved that I finally had a companion in a Zelda game that felt like a REAL PERSON as opposed to an annoying shadow following me around everywhere I went, telling me what to do every single fucking second. Navi really is the reason ‘Ocarina Of Time’ was a once-only/never-again gameplay experience for me. I completed it once 100% and never looked back because Navi was just that annoying. Fi in ‘Skyward Sword’ I didn’t mind so much as she stayed in the sword for most of the game and only emerged when I actually needed her help. Not before prompting me to summon her every time though. Midna however was an absolute joy to engage with, to have as a companion and to learn of her plight in the Twilight realm and understand her story. Why she is the way she is when we first meet her. Why she’s so mistrusting, manipulative and selfish. And how she goes from that to someone that actually sacrifices her own well being to keep Link safe and to help him save Zelda and Hyrule by extension. She’s just the shining example of how characterisation should be written in a video game because she didn’t feel like a sidekick, only there to aid us along in our endeavours. She felt like a friend. Someone to confide and take comfort in. And since you spoiled the endgame for her, - that is still one of the greatest character transformations I’ve ever seen in any art/entertainment medium whatsoever. So yeah, she’s the main factor as to why I love ‘Twilight Princess’ so much. The creators of the game actually made me care about what I should have regarded as another “Navi” in another Zelda game where the gameplay is majorly the same as the last game was in that the mechanics were just the same.

But other reasons were the maturity of the darker visual appearance (because I was one of those “ridiculous” people that didn’t like the graphics art style of ‘Wind Waker’, discounting it completely as a playable, let alone enjoyable, Zelda game because I was an idiot like that back then), a thoroughly engaging open-world exploration gameplay experience I had never really had before, and finally, like you also mentioned, I cared about the NPC’s throughout the entire game - especially those of Link’s hometown - which made me feel personally close to the character I was playing as for once. I’ve never felt that way before about Link. I mean he was still silent and about as charismatic as a cardboard box - just as he always was - but the dynamics changed. I related to and resonated with him like never before all because I felt a personal attachment to HIS people. That made all the damn difference.

You talked about how ‘Twilight Princess’ is a game you could only play once, feel fully immersed in and then it would go stale for you. You’d find yourself rushing to get through it. That was and will never be the way it is for me. I could go back to that game right now - start a whole new playthrough and find myself just as immersed in that world, in that lore and in those characters. Yes, nostalgia would be a factor as to why, but I just know that I’d completely enjoy playing it just as much as I did the first time I played it if not more.

#the legend of zelda #twilight princess #midna #link #gameplay #charactetization #character representation #character development #the zelda game nobody cares about #stank media #Youtube

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pjsim2001 · 2 years

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Bejeweled 2 Review - Match 3 Finds Its Footing

Summary ★★★★ Essential

Bejeweled 2 makes improvements on the addictive match 3 formula its predecessor popularized, while ramping things up with a gorgeous presentation and a hypnotizing soundtrack that's debatably one of the greatest in video game history. Its new modes will delight casual players whether they're looking for relaxation or action, while still providing some ridiculous secrets for hardcore players to rage over and grind to achieve.

For more game reviews, check out https://pjsim2001.tumblr.com/reviews.

Background

Bejeweled 2 was my first Bejeweled game - I actually downloaded the WiiWare version initially since I was trying to get as much as I could out of my Wii at the time, but to make a long story short, don't play that version, it SUCKS. Just get the PC one.

I already got into my thoughts on Bejeweled in general back in my review of the first game, so I want to get things started right away. This sequel came out three years after the first game, so what had PopCap been able to do in that time?

Presentation

...well to start, they made the game a whole lot sexier. Now the game runs in a higher resolution of 1024x768. Gone is the flash game sidebar and crusty lookin' gem and menu graphics, now we have a cool 3D look, with crystal-like purple balls for menu buttons and awesome planetary backgrounds.

The game takes on the theme of traveling across different planets in the galaxy. When you beat a level, you travel through a wormhole which sucks in the UI elements and camera, then spits them back out at the end with a different background and new gem layout. There's a lot more effects and effort put into the graphics this time around, probably because this game was actually made for PC unlike the first one.

Something you'll notice is the lighting. While the first game lit up the gem you had your mouse over, that's nothing compared to how it's handled in this game. All the gems shimmer on their own, but on mouseover, they'll shine even brighter, and the light will seemingly bounce off the neighboring gems. When you've created one of the new special gems this game has to offer, the entire area will be noticeably brighter from the glow. Everything feels so much more lively.

There's even a bunch of secret visual changes you can activate by typing in certain things. For instance, you can get rid of the UI elements by typing "noframe", change the background to an animated Matrix-lookin' one by typing "network", change the background to a classic animated starfield by typing "starfield", or even change all the graphics of the gems to the ones from Diamond Mine (a precursor to Bejeweled 1) by typing in "oldskool".

Gameplay

If you've somehow forgotten, match 3 works by matching three or more gems of the same type together to get rid of them from the board. But Bejeweled 2 expands upon this by having certain combinations not only get rid of the gems, but create special ones as well! Woah!

Two special gems have been added to all modes of the game:

A Power Gem is created by either matching four gems in a row, or matching gems in an L shape. The gem will be the same type as the ones you just matched. Match it with the same type, and it'll explode, destroying anything surrounding it.

A Hyper Cube is created by matching five gems in a row. Once created, you can switch it with any other gem, which will cause every single gem of that type on the board to be destroyed. It's extremely useful for when you run out of moves, but be careful though, since if it gets blown up by a Power Gem, it'll be destroyed without doing anything! This would later be changed down the road, but there's some merit to the challenge of having to be more careful when trying to save Hyper Cubes for later.

These gems feel like a natural evolution, and they work great. They give you a goal to achieve, forcing you to play better so you can get the opportunity to make larger matches, creating the cool items with their crisp explosion effects and cool electric shocks. They can also help shuffle the board a bit, making them potential lifesavers.

Game Modes

B2 has the two modes from the first game, Classic and Action (renamed from Time Trial). There's nothing really new to say about these modes aside from the new gems I described above - Classic still has you matching gems with no time limit until you run out of moves, while Action has you matching gems to fill the score meter before it depletes over time. But there's also two new modes to try out:

Puzzle mode gives you a bunch of different boards to clear. The idea is that you travel from planet to planet - each with a set of puzzles that employ some sort of theme or difficulty level - and try to clear all the gems from the board. There's actually another two new gems for this mode - Bomb Gems, which explode like Power Gems after a set amount of moves, and Rock Gems, which can't be matched and must be destroyed with either a Power Gem or a Hyper Cube. It can get pretty difficult, and you'll find yourself hitting the hint button after every move, since it'll tell you whether the puzzle is still solvable or not, and if you want, what the next move to make is. So you can easily cheese your way through everything, if you'd like - there's only one puzzle near the end that doesn't allow hints, but it's not too difficult. I'm glad the game gives you the unlimited hints, but I just wish there was an option to have it tell you if the puzzle becomes unsolvable without having to move your mouse to hit the hint button all the time. All-in-all, I'd recommend this mode as one to pay attention to if you want to get better at the game, since it gets you used to moving the jewels around and making plays.

Endless mode, on the other hand, is completely chill. All you do is match the gems - you can't run out of moves. This is a simple but honestly genius mode, and when I think about it, there doesn't really exist anything like it nowadays. It might sound boring, but it's really not. It's fun to see how far you can get, and you even get to build up a little jewelry collection with each level you clear. There was also a study talking about how playing games like Bejeweled can decrease stress and increase mood, so that's pretty cool - it's nice to just chill and match some gems, looking at all the pretty colors and listening to the good soundtrack.

Soundtrack

Oh yeah, the soundtrack! There is absolutely no way I can talk about Bejeweled 2 without mentioning it's incredible soundtrack. Remember in my first review, when I mentioned how we'd be seeing more of Peter Hajba/Skaven? Well this, in my opinion, is his magnum opus. The game is worth playing for the music alone. I actually think the mixing sounds a bit better in the game version than the album linked above; the album makes some of the instruments too loud over the others. Either way, still some great compositions.

I don't even know where to start. Basically, aside from the loading screen, title screen, and credits, the game's soundtrack is one continuous song (although in the remastered OST link above, it's separated into parts), and oh man, it takes you on a journey, complete with its own highs and lows. Some of the synths just have the sound of jewels, twinkling as you travel across the galaxy. You've got tracks that are videogamey and catchy, you've got your slower pieces, you've got your optimistic beats, your introspective moments, mysterious secrets... basically everything.

My favorite tracks are... I'm not telling you. Play the game and experience it yourself.

The ONLY song in the soundtrack I think is a little weak is the loading screen, Autonomous V2... at least, the very first half of it. It's a remix of the loading screen from the first game, but I think the first part doesn't sound as good. There's this annoying, offbeat beeping sound that plays throughout it - and while this sound did exist in the first game, the song was more bleep-bloopy there, so you didn't really notice it, and even if you did, it added to the whole internety vibe. The song in general is also more intense and emotional in the first one, although the second half of this song definitely gets the goosebumps going with the twinkly synths, so again, it's not outright bad.

Also, while we're on the topic of sounds - they're good in this game. Mostly the same, but with higher resolution and a few newcomers, so nothing to report. The low-resolution announcer guy from the first game has been replaced by deep voice dude, who's really pleasing to listen to.

THE NEGATIVES OF THIS GAME

"Wait a minute, there's NEGATIVES of this game? But didn't you give it a 4/4 in the summary?"

Yes, but that's only because I think the soundtrack and presentation combined with the generally addicting gameplay and varied modes are so insanely good on the surface that everyone should at least TRY the game out. But that doesn't mean that aside from that, there aren't some things that piss me off. Besides, if you love something and spend more time with it, you'll start to notice the things wrong with it.

Now, full disclosure - most of this stuff won't affect casual players. They probably won't care. They'll just play the game for fun and whatever. But as someone who's somewhat of a Bejeweled pro, playing and reviewing every single game and nitpicking the details, there's two things I need to mention:

Action Mode's Music and Gem Shuffling (or Lack Thereof)

So, just to remind you, in Action mode, you need to keep your eyes darting around the board to find matches to make as quickly as possible.

Humor me for a bit - listen to a some of the song that plays in Time Trial in Bejeweled 1 (also check out the part at 2:31, lol, love that part). As I mentioned in that review, it's a perfect choice - high energy, action packed, gets you groovin'. And here's a fun fact - PopCap didn't actually make any of the music in B1 FOR the game, they just asked to use songs that already existed.

So now that B2 is out, and has a soundtrack tailor made for it by the same guy, which has references to the music in the first game, you'd bet that the song for Action mode is gonna be even better! I mean the rest of the soundtrack is great, right? Well guess what. Action mode no longer has its own music. Instead, they just skip to a specific point in the main music suite. Want to hear it? Scroll up to the music player, and go to track 11 (or 10 if you want the intro). That's where the music starts in Action mode.

The music suite in B2 is one of the major things I like about this game, and I wouldn't have it any other way - it's relaxing and beautiful. But that comes at the cost of a lethargic Action mode. It gets even worse when you realize that the song IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS is "Schein", one of the SLOW JAMS!!!!! It might seem like a nitpick, but music is important and sets the tone. When Schein is sending me into a lullaby, I can't focus as well on quickly finding matches.

Another issue related to Action mode is that, unlike in the first game, the board won't shuffle once you run out of moves - instead, it uses whatever algorithm Endless is using so you can't run out of moves. This might seem like a positive and an improvement on paper, but in practice, it actually ends up making the game way harder.

If you were about to run out of moves in B1, you would make the last move (or find it with the hint button), then the board would reshuffle to give you a BUNCH of matches, keeping the pace going. But in B2, if the board gets bricked, the game will just drop in gems to make matches in one little corner, which is BORING and not usually enough to recover whatever time you've lost.

Even worse is once you get the gems in that little spot shuffled enough, the game will just say "alright bye bye" and make you go search for whatever little spot your shuffling made, which can either cause the cycle to repeat, or have you waste time by second guessing yourself, looking around the board, trying to figure out if you just missed some oblique match in a corner somewhere.

It doesn't ruin the mode by any means, it can still be fun, but these bits certainly cause a bit of frustration.

Bats**t Insane Unlockables

Here's the big daddy of the problems with B2 - in fact, this part is so crazy, it literally delayed this review by a week as I judged whether or not it'd warrant a drop to a 3/4.

Basically, when I went over the new game modes, I actually lied - there's more than just Puzzle and Endless! I think these modes are what makes the game Bejeweled 2 Deluxe, since the Wii version of the game - which doesn't have these unlockable modes - drops the Deluxe moniker. So, if you're buying the deluxe version of the game, and the deluxe version gives you these game modes, then, wouldn't you agree with me that it's pretty important to be able to, ya know...

ACTUALLY UNLOCK THE GAME MODES?!?!!?!?!?!?

The requirements to unlock these modes are so incredibly ridiculous, especially one in particular, that I legitimately believe that the amount of people in the entire world who've spent the time to unlock them is probably under 1,000. I'll go over them, from least ridiculous to most ridiculous.

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Original

Original is more-so a secret than an unlockable. Just move your mouse clockwise 8 times around the four main game modes on the main menu, and you'll be sent straight into a game. It's just B2 but without the new gems, making it the same as B1. Next.

Cognito

Cognito is pretty standard to get - all you have to do is finish every single puzzle in Puzzle mode (including the optional ones). The mode uses the same layouts as Puzzle mode, except you automatically travel through each planet in order, completing the first four boards of each. But what makes this interesting is that it runs off of score like the other modes - if you use a hint, you won't get any points for that board, so you're incentivized to complete the boards without using any. I actually really love this idea, and from what I played, it was super satisfying to use the skills I've gained to reapproach these puzzles without offloading brain power to the hints - it gives you a reason to not just cheat your way through them, and take the time to get a satisfying victory.

Twilight

To unlock Twilight, you need to reach level 18 in Classic. If you've been reading these reviews without having played the game, you don't understand how difficult this is. As I explained in the B1 review, the game is a lot like Tetris in terms of luck - yes there are things you can do to increase your chances, but in general, the game can easily screw you over by not giving you what you need. You can get blindsided and run out of moves in level 4, so to make it all the way to level 18 (with the level clear requirements increasing each time, by the way) without getting screwed over even ONCE is a herculean task that could easily burn hours.

But honestly, it's kinda worth it. Twilight mode is simple, but cool - basically, the game runs in slowmo with a darker background and lower pitch sound effects. But the real change is that every single time you make a match, the gravity flips. So the first match you make will have the gems fall down as usual, but then the next match will have the gems fall up, with new gems coming from the bottom. It's a simple change, but one that makes the game both harder and easier. Easier since you can unbrick the board and make special gems easier (I got two Hyper Cubes on one board my first time playing it), but harder since thinking ahead is REALLY difficult, and before you know it, you might end up without any more moves. It's the right mix of challenging and fun.

Hyper

To unlock Hyper mode, you need to reach level 9 in Action. Yes, it's only half of what you need in Classic - but even if you haven't played the game, you can tell that this gonna be more difficult. At least Classic allows you to spend as much time as you want planning out your moves, but Action straight up requires you to get good. For a while, I could barely reach level 5 much less 9. The timer drops like a damn cinder block in the later levels if you aren't making matches, to the point where waiting around for 2 seconds feels like losing the points gained by 10 matches. Even with my friends helping me on a screenshare, I just consistently got screwed over by level 6. It takes the perfect storm of luck and raw skill to get far enough (or if you need some extra help, I'll explain an option later on ;))

Hyper mode is a bit lamer than Twilight, but still fun. It's the same as Action mode, expect now it runs at like 2 or maybe 3 times speed. Gems drop super quickly, so there's no time to waste. I was surprised by how well I was able to survive though - it makes you realize a lot of time spent in Action mode is waiting around for gems to drop and reveal the moves, so having it happen in an instant and just flying through the levels was pretty satisfying.

Finity

OK, what the hell were the developers over at PopCap smoking when making this game? Can I have some? To unlock this mode, you have to reach level 280 in Endless mode.

TWO. HUNDRED. AND EIGHTY.

Every time you beat a level in Endless mode, the point requirement increases, just like in Classic or Action. I have video - it took me about 10 minutes to complete level 41. 280 levels - 41 levels = 239 levels * 10mins = 2930 mins = 48.33 hours. And guess what? THIS CALCULATION DOESN'T FACTOR IN THE REQUIREMENT INCREASING OR THE TIME I SPENT BEFORE THIS! 48 hours straight at a minimum. Dude. And one guy in the comments of a video showing gameplay of this mode said it took him 3 months, another person an entire year.

The mode seems interesting though. I say "seems" because I haven't been able to unlock it in the... like... month I've been playing. It's Action mode, except you don't get points by matching gems - instead, you need to get them by detonating Power Gems and Hyper Cubes. To spice things up even more, the bombs and rocks from Puzzle mode drop in too. Sounds cool - I could imagine the bombs help you move things around, while the rocks provide an obstacle. But is it worth the amount of time you'd have to spend to unlock it? I don't think so. At that point, you'd probably be sick and tired of the game.

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You know what the funny part of all this is? The console versions of the game actually CHANGED these requirements to be MUCH easier - Twilight & Hyper now only need lv 6, and Finity is lv 11 (LOL) - so obviously, SOMEBODY down the pipeline looked at this and went "nah bro", so why was it like this in the first place? It just seems kinda random.

Here's the thing though - should you get pissed over not being able to unlock these modes? Maybe. But I don't think it ruins the game. I consider these modes as little extras for people who are REALLY into the game - I think most regular people are perfectly fine with the standard four modes that are in the game, and it's not like there were two separate releases of the game on PC, one having the modes and one not, and one being cheaper than the other. And hey, maybe somebody could even stumble upon these modes without knowing they exist. Maybe they like to have Endless on in the background while they watch videos, or maybe they're just having a really good day on Action. Trying to strive for the modes can be frustrating, but when you do unlock them, it feels super good. I have my save data with Classic on level 18 and Action on level 9, and I'm very proud of it.

Here's a neat little trick I used to help me get the modes - if you go to "C:\ProgramData\PopCap Games\Bejeweled2" on your PC, you can find the save data under the "users" folder. Every time you reach a new level in Classic or Action, back out of the mode, then copy and paste the folder (or maybe one of the files inside that saves the data for the mode, idk). That way you have a little save to restore and fall back on in case you lose. But the funny thing is, I actually only needed to use it once in Classic mode - I still made the backups on Action, but I got super lucky and didn't die a single time. Also, I unlocked both Twilight and Hyper on the same day (just yesterday actually, with a draft of this review in progress). That was hilarious.

Verdict

Bejeweled 2 is a damn good game. Yeah, it has those little hiccups in design with the unlockables, and the Action mode could be a bit better, but literally everything else about the game is a 10/10. It's an upgrade in every way possible, for a game that was already incredibly addicting. If you're gonna play this: choose a time without distractions, get some headphones on, turn the volume up, and get ready to embark on a journey across the galaxy.

★★★★ Essential

Get the game from here: https://archive.org/details/bejeweled-2_202202, just download the ISO and install it.

(Yeah, I know I didn't link the web archive download for B1 as an attempt to be fair, but that was before I saw how poorly EA treated the series, so by all means, please download it from the web archive for free. You could buy the Steam version, but don't do that, since they basically just dumped it on there a long time ago with no effort. Don't support these fuckers. This game is basically if not literally abandonware.)

I think Bejeweled 2 can hold it's own against the sequels. While it might not have as much content as later entries (that's easily accessible at least), I think this version is the best experience of the series just because of its (inter)stellar music and presentation - once you get going, it really is magical.

I can barely remember the time before I had played any Bejeweled, back when I just knew it as "that casual game with the jewels". This game should be legendary. And it was - until it got buried underneath the sands of time. It just frustrates me that PopCap is owned by EA now, and that Bejeweled is totally dead. This series had so much personality and a truckload of awards and accolades behind it - this game (and its sequels) should be ported on every console like Tetris is, but it just isn't, and it'll never be, because Candy Crush totally demolished it. I was actually playing a little bit of web browser Bejeweled in a class once, and someone I was working with actually said "oh, is that Candy Crush? Or like, Gem Crush?".

But there's no reason to be down - there's still two more games left, and spoiler alert - they're both masterpieces as well. What a twist!

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isthatmanahimbo · 2 years

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Today we bring to you a console classic from the 16-bit era: Sabin Rene Figaro!

Sabin is a main player character in Final Fantasy VI, first released in 1994 for the SNES (released as Final Fantasy III in North America). It has since been released to many major systems, ranging from the Playstation to the Wii and even to iOs, and most recently remastered in a 2.5D style in February of 2022. Hailed as one of the greatest games the series has to offer, Final Fantasy VI begins the series' lean into sci-fi as well as fantasy, and boasts the largest selection of playable characters of any mainstream Final Fantasy to date.

Sabin is one of a pair of twins, with his brother Edgar having taken over the role of king of their kingdom, Figaro – sick with grief at the death of their father, rather than chafe under the societal expectations of a king Sabin fled the country to pursue the life of a mountain hermit instead of co-ruling with his brother. He plays the role of Monk in the party, equipping light armor and fist weaponry, and his special combat command is called Blitz, which he learned under his master Duncan.

That last part is important, because it is with Blitz that this author must begin their assessment of Sabin as a himbo. If you have been following this blog for a little while, you know this author likes to begin with Buff when applicable, and it is here that this author would like to bring up the thing for which Sabin is most well-known: he fucking Suplexes a train. This is not hyperbole or metaphor, mind you – using the Blitz command, the player can input the proper combination of keystrokes to ensure that during a boss battle with the Phantom Train, Sabin can pick the fucking thing up and slam it onto the ground over his shoulder. Even if Sabin were not toked as fuck (he is), the ability to do so being not just canon but encouraged (as it is Sabin's party specifically which encounters the Phantom Train shortly after learning the Suplex command) renders all discussion of Sabin's Buffness moot. Sick wrestling moves aside, it is also notable that Sabin is required at one point in a timed story quest to hold up a house for several real-life minutes – but is it really a FF6 playthrough if you don't Suplex the Damn Train? This author doesn't believe so.

Blessedly, Final Fantasy VI knows what it's doing with its character archetypes, for as strong as every muscle on Sabin's body is, we find his decision-making to be a little lacking. Indeed, when the options Think and Act are placed on a table before him, every single time Sabin will smash down that Act button before the situation can be explained to him – we see examples of this as early on as immediately after his introduction, when he joins the Returners while vocally admitting he does not understand their mission statement, and less than an hour later when Ultros attacks the party and begins to swim away Sabin dives into literal white water to give pursuit. Sabin is happy to do the literal heavy-lifting so long as he has someone to consign the actual hard work of thinking to (usually his intellectual brother, in whom he places ultimate trust).

And although Sabin is particular in whom he places his trust, once he's in, he's all in baybee. His very first appearance we learn that his immediate peer, and son of his master, Vargas has killed his father, and Sabin takes a moment in the middle of battle to weep for his beloved master before wrecking ass. Indeed, as touched on before, Sabin's huge heart full of love and loyalty is the impetus for his mountain man excursion – so bereaved by his father's death, so disillusioned by the public's apparent lack of compassion, Sabin flees society. His big heart is apparent even in his more antagonistic moments – humorously, he has a bit of a rivalry with party member and feral child Gau, finding the child infuriating, but upon learning that the boy's father abandoned and mistreated him Sabin promptly chewed him a new asshole (and had to be physically restrained from laying him out). And upon joining the Returners, he is a valuable and trusted teammate for more than just his muscles – when returning to the fray after the end of the world, Celes is heartened by Sabin's attitude after they save a child together, finding the strength to carry on through his boisterous proclamation that the end of the world couldn't possibly keep him down.

Truly, that's a himbo we can count on to be by our side.

Total Himbo Score: 21

#is that man a himbo?#whoa mama! rating: himbo #final fantasy #final fantasy vi #final fantasy 6 #sabin rene figaro #sabin final fantasy #sabin ff6 #sabin ffvi

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liztoady · 1 year

Text

this is english coursework but I want to see if the internet people like it

Genre: Videogame Reviews

Audience: People familiar with videogames and gaming culture

Function: To entertain

Word Count: 1124

A retrospective on Super Paper Mario

(Nintendo Wii, 2007) 4/5 Stars

Super Paper Mario, in many ways, is THE prime example on how to NOT make an RPG.

And yet, it’s also one of the greatest stories ever told in a videogame, ever. Let me explain.

To truly understand Super Paper Mario and how this utter travesty of a gameplay experience came to have such a profound impact on those who suffered through it, we need to look beyond the sales, beyond the anti-fans and Dimentio-stans. We need to go right back to the very beginning. Today, I’ll tell you a story of a long-forgotten game…

Once upon a time, Nintendo, after the success of the first, decided to create a brand-spanking-new Mario RPG. And so, Paper Mario was born. It was a pretty quiet entry to the massive Mario conglomerate, being released late into the Nintendo 64’s lifespan. Nevertheless, early reviewers praised its unique style, characteristic charm and easy-to-understand mechanics. These core elements would soon become the basis for a much bigger, much grander sequel – Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door! It was a smash hit with fans from every angle, and still sells for ridiculous prices today because of its – well, – sheer greatness. The wit, the mechanics, the story, the graphics! Suffice to say, Paper Mario games had gained a strong foothold with fans. They craved more. Who could blame them?

So, Nintendo did the logical thing (obviously). On the 9th April 2007, they bestowed upon us the eagerly anticipated sequel, the culmination of every hit in the series so far! (Drumroll, please)

Super Paper Mario!

…I’m going to be frank with you, dear reader. Super Paper Mario is, undoubtedly, a flawed game. The controls are limited to the Wii remote’s 4 directions (yes, no c-stick support in a partly 3D game – the horror!), the geometric aesthetic can get old after a while and the pacing makes it, so you’d rather crawl into hell than go back to speak to Jasperoid again to get an unnecessarily long password that takes ages to input because the controls are do damn slow and clunky!

If you know, you know.

In short, it’s a hot mess. Even without considering the clear omission of the turn-based battles from previous titles, its clear that this game does not – and will not – ever compare to its predecessors when it comes to gameplay.

And yet? It doesn’t actually matter. This game shouldn’t even be a Mario game, probably. I bet if it was just some regular, one-off, weirdo game with some other rando on the title, nobody would criticize its flaws as much as they do. But because it’s got ‘Paper Mario’ on the title, it’s suddenly subject to a heck ton more grief (it’s a member of the Mario family, capish?).

How come I like it so much, then? So far, I’ve only been complaining about it! Well hold on to your Wii remotes, dear readers. To truly (truly) understand Super Paper Mario, I’ll tell you a story of the lost book of prophecies. It is a tale of love…

(Yes, that is how the game starts, stick with me, guys!)

The people who have played this game to completion will tell you: it’s a wild ride. Mario has never been so anime (and I personally adore it). If you don’t want to be spoiled for the ending of this over 15-year-old game, then here’s a short summary:

‘Mario, Peach, Bowser and Luigi travel through multiple dimensions ‘Rick and Morty’-style with a butterfly (and friends) to stop an evil, depressed vampire man and his cronies from destroying every reality with a world-ending black hole born out of ‘forbidden love’.

…TL;DR: Peach and Bowser get married; hijinks ensue.’

So… if that wasn’t enough to convince you, I don’t know what will. Stop reading, play it, then come back for the epic conclusion to my review.

…

…What did you think? Did you cry? Yeah. We all cried. It’s just that kind of game.

Its darker moments are, surprisingly, some of the most engaging aspects of the story: The actual deaths of characters, the deletion of entire worlds – they’re some of what people most fondly remember about this 100% very cheerful little game. I always found it very character-driven, and it somehow manages to touch on more serious topics with a gentle maturity that you wouldn’t really expect from a 3+ kid’s game.

A character’s story I personally feel is overlooked is the token dim-witted himbo O’Chunks. He’s one of Count Bleck’s main cronies and the first actual boss of the game. He’s written to be a funny, crude character who shouts hilarious catchphrases like ‘GRAH-GOOGLY’ and farts himself away when he’s beaten. At first glance, he’s the epitome of ‘kids-game humour’, and for the most part, he is.

Then Chapter 5-2 happens.

Just a reminder: this is a MARIO game.

This made me stop and stare when I first played. The moment was short-lived, of course – gotta keep that age rating down! – but I was still astonished that this game even attempted to address such mature themes, and with the token dimwit comic-relief! But it doesn’t end here, folks! May I gently remind you, dear reader, that this outlandish codge-up of a game is also…

…a love story?

As hopeless as the game can feel sometimes, what with the total obliteration of Sammer’s Kingdom, or the devilish Mimi’s enslavement of Mario and Co. to pay off their crushing debt (that one hits a little too close to home), Super Paper Mario is bursting at the seams with positivity and encouragement. Whether it be Tippi’s overwhelming gratitude for Mario and friends after her rescue releasing one of the seven Pure Heart maguffins, or the beautiful climax of the game – Tippi and Count Bleck’s own wedding – Super Paper Mario is a game about friendships, a whole heap of other comedic and heart-warming moments I didn’t have room to mention, and – most importantly – love.

Super Paper Mario, in many ways, is THE prime example on how to NOT make an RPG.

But it’s also one of the comfiest, darkest, over-the-top and most daring stories I’ve ever played. I’d whole-heartedly implore anyone looking for a charming story, and maybe even a bit of a cry, to give this tale a try…

…just don’t play it if you’re looking for good gameplay, K?

#spm #english #english coursework #i apologise i couldnt fit in francis :(#mario #super paper mario #gaming #videogames #there was also on on world of goo so i'll have to find that as well #be on the lookout! >:D

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