I feel like I've just been pranked. Went to look at a house for sale. Place looked good in the photos, got there and it was completely trashed. Place was dirty as hell and needed to be gutted from the inside out. I was like man, looks like the tenants trashed the place. Turns out the tenants were some friends of mine. Out here like damn. Am I a clown or what... aint got the heart to say something. Damn.
You're lonely but it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. You've always been okay except you're not and somehow you've made yourself and everyone else around you believe that too. Connection to anyone is harder than you could have ever dreamed when you were young and unloved and invisible to everyone who was supposed to care about you and save you from the voiding hollowness in your chest, in your throat. You smile and say you're okay and you are, or at least you tell yourself you are, but is anyone even worried? You tell yourself that they are or maybe that it's good they aren't. You'll be okay, one day. One day.
I was researching mythology for something I’m writing, and fell down a rabbit hole that lead to the fact that Hephaestus was the only Olympian considered to be ugly. It may be just a fact from ancient Greek Mythology, but it is one that hits me right in the gut.
Lol 26 years of life and still haven't learned that it don't matter how much you love sombody. They can be your friend all your life and still screw you in the end. #ouch