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#ok there's too many to write out
n0rtist · 3 months
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Every Galarian Regional forms and Regional Evolutions as emojis
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cryptocism · 3 months
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i started this a year ago for fun and then forgot about it for several months, but after many hours the cleans are done!
character animation for Frequency
music is Smokey Eyes by Lincoln
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static-radio-ao3 · 2 months
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@jegulus-microfic // february 26 // prompt: bed // words: 1,241 // cw: referenced sexual content // part 1 + part 2
“Barty, who’s at the— oh.” Regulus stops short.
“He was just leaving,” Barty says, then turns to James, “Weren’t you, Potter?”
“It’s fine, Barty, I’ve got it,” Regulus says, shifting so he can slip past Barty and come to stand right in front of James.
“You sure?” Barty asks. He maintains eye contact until Regulus nods. “Okay, well, don’t do anything stupid. Just yell if you need me.”
And with that, he turns to head back inside. Regulus is fairly sure he only walks down the hall so he can listen in, but he doesn’t mind it too much. Maybe he won’t jump James if he knows Barty is right there.
He regards James for a moment, wonders what he’s here for. His eyes frag down James’ form, but unfortunately, he doesn’t flinch under the scrutiny. And unfortunately, James looks good. Again. Or still. Either way, it’s doing dangerous things to Regulus resolve.
“What are you doing here?” He asks finally.
The corner of James’ mouth tugs up in a half-smile. “Hi, baby,” he says, and Regulus hates him. Hates that he looks all boyish and charming. Regulus wants to kiss him. No, kill him. Definitely kill him.
“James.”
“Yeah, sorry.” One of James’ hands comes up to scratch at the back of his head. “Um. Why wouldn’t Barty let me inside to see you?”
The question is sobering. Annoyance sparks in his gut and Regulus is getting tired of this game. Of this dance where they so clearly are avoiding the issue at hand, spinning around it until they’re so dizzy they can’t see anything but each other.
He crosses his arms in front of his chest, a fickle attempt at a barrier and shoots James an unamused glare. “Because you cheated on me?”
James’ face falls, confusion marring his features, wrinkling his forehead. Regulus has the urge to smooth it out. “What? When? And why?” Disbelief soaks his voice and now it’s Regulus’ turn to be confused.
“What?”
“Why would I cheat on you?”
“What?”
“Regulus, baby,” James sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “you broke up with me because you thought I cheated?”
“You never corrected me!” Regulus splutters. He thinks back to the day they broke up, to the fight they had. The quiet resign when Regulus ended things. His friends had told him the silence was confession, but he’s not so sure now.
“How was I supposed to? I didn’t know.”
“I— You didn’t?”
“I didn’t cheat or I didn’t know?”
“Both!”
“Obviously not!”
James is closer now than he was a moment ago, close enough that Regulus could reach out and touch if he wanted to. By God, does he want to. This is exactly why he didn't let himself see James at all those first few months. He needed to build up tolerance. Resistance. But what good did it do him? He still ended up on his knees almost immediately.
The urge to touch makes his fingers tingle, a buzzing in his veins that he can't ignore.
“Well, it wasn’t obvious to me!” Regulus squeezes his eyes shut, embarrassment making it hard to maintain eye contact with James. There’s no way they broke up over nothing. There’s no way Regulus never confronted him, never gave James the chance to explain.
He opens his eyes again, sees James gnawing at his bottom lip. He looks softer today, more worn. The bravado and cockiness from their last two encounters nowhere to be seen.
“Regulus, what even gave you the idea…” James trails off, lets the end of the sentence hang in between them.
Regulus stares at the ground, at the scuffed toe of his shoe. He remembers the day well. Had made dinner for two and packed it so he could eat with James at work.
“I came to see you at the office because you were working late again and I overheard the new hire say that she fucked the guy who was training her.” Regulus’ heart had dropped right out from his chest and shattered into a dozen pieces when he heard it. He thinks he left a few behind.
He takes a breath, steeling himself to continue, but James cuts in with an excited, “Oh my God, Frank and Alice fucked? That’s why they disappeared during team drinks!”
“Frank?”
“Baby, Alice had two people training her. She wasn’t talking about me. Ask Frank if you want to be sure, but— Wait. Pause. Sorry, you fell into bed with me thinking I had cheated on you?”
Heat floods Regulus’ face. “What was I supposed to do?”
“Say no!” James sounds indignant.
As if it were easy to say no to James Potter. James with his messy smile, joy spilling from the corner of his mouth. James with his bright eyes and bright laugh. James with his warm hands that know just how to make Regulus writhe.
“Yeah, well…” Regulus racks his brain for any sort of defense, but he is only met with the image of James' naked form. “You thought I broke up with you for no reason and still slept with me!” He counters.
Now it’s James’ turn to flush, embarrassment making the tips of his hears turn red. “What was I supposed to do?”
“Say no!”
“Love, we both know I was never any good at saying no to you.” James’ voice is low as he says it, like a secret or a confession, not meant for anyone else’s ears. Regulus reaches behind him to tug the door shut. Barty does not need to hear this.
Regulus considers for a moment. Looks up at James through is lashes. “Neither am I, apparently.”
“Sounds like a flaw.” James inches closer, crowding Regulus against the front door. The buzzing in his veins quiets. “You should probably work on that.”
“Yeah?” Regulus murmurs. “Now?”
“Mm. Why not?” Both of James’ hands come to rest on Regulus’ hips. Regulus lets his head thud against the door just so he can look at James better. The mole under his lip and the finger print smudged on his glasses. James never did clean them well.
“Okay.”
“Can I kiss you?” James asks. His breath hits the side of Regulus’ face and Regulus can’t help but shiver.
“No.”
James’ fingers tighten their hold on Regulus, but he doesn’t lean in. Instead, he asks “Do you still love me?”
“No,” Regulus says again.
James huffs a laugh, forehead coming to rest on Regulus’ shoulder. Regulus’ hands come up to card through James’ hair. It’s comfortable. Familiar.
“Liar.” The word is muffled in the fabric of Regulus’ shirt. Then, “Will you go out with me?”
Regulus pretends to consider, but they both know the answer. “No more mistakes,” he says. “Just you and me.” And like any good promise, he seals it with a kiss.
---
is that a phone in your pocket or are you happy to see me [group • 4 members]
reg: so there may have been a slight misunderstanding
reg: pandora, you can delete the list
pandora: no, it’s my magnum opus
evan: besides, i still stand by page 29, paragraph 3, subsection 7
barty: yeah what kind of man wears crocs unironically
evan: exactly. is this the man you want to be with?
pandora: and don’t think i’ve forgotten the pizza night incident
reg: he just had pineapple on his pizza, please let it go
pandora: no
barty: absolutely the fuck not
evan: never
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notetaeker · 11 months
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June 10, 2023 - Saturday
Honestly feel like a mess lol. The past few weeks/months I have managed to stay on track pretty well but this whole week was such a mess tbh everything is so disorganized in my head and in my room 🥲 It feels like I was untying a complex knot and making some progress and then stepped away for a few mins and now have no idea where to start to get back on track again 😔😭
pics: apocalyptic smoky sky, strawberries from my strawberry plant, red light from the smoky red sun
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lorillee · 10 months
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alright everybody. its finally time for my ace attorney investigations 2 retrospective/excuse to talk about the von karma-edgeworth family soap opera for a few thousand words. ive never been good at intro paragraphs so we're just gonna get right into it. this is gonna get long probably so be warned - i was originally going to put it under a cut but unfortunately doing that breaks the image format for some reason so uhhhh we're both just gonna have to live with it 😔 obviously this post is going to have major unmarked spoilers so if you havent played this game for some reason yet you should definitely get on that. anyways. without further ado:
investigations 2 is kind of ultimately about who edgeworth was and who edgeworth is and who edgeworth wants to be, explored via the lens of the nature of parent-child relationships and how parents' legacies impact the decisions their children make and the people they become.
at the end of aa1 (+rfta), edgeworth is confronted with the harsh reality that his mentor/adopted father & the man who taught him everything he knows about prosecuting is 1) a terrible person and 2) did actually have a habit of using forged evidence to keep his 40 year streak going. after being accused of corruption for having used fake evidence himself (unknowingly, but still), edgeworth goes on his whole journey of "what does being a prosecutor even mean, anyways" by means of worlds most melodramatic fake suicide. the answer he ends up arriving at is that defense lawyers and prosecutors, when they have relatively upstanding morals and are given the tools to actually do their jobs, serve as vehicles for the truth, and cannot reliably fulfill this duty without each other. however, the question has always kind of lingered - "well, what about being a defense attorney like gregory?"
phoenix routinely brings up the class trial as like the most formative memory of his own childhood - that experience is inherently tied to who phoenix is as a person - but that trial literally only exists because edgeworth was imitating his father in being a defense attorney. the main character of the main series' inspiration for becoming a defense attorney is intrinsically tied to "back when edgeworth was "good", before manfred "corrupted" him". its because edgeworth becomes a corrupt prosecutor that phoenix chases after him into law school - this apparent complete and entire betrayal of phoenix's whole understanding of him as a person.
so then, now that edgeworth is "good" again, why doesnt he quit the whole prosecutor thing and go back to his childhood dream of becoming like his father?
this question is kind of just left up in the air until investigations 2. with the prosecutor investigation committee being completely corrupted, they make it abundantly clear they dont appreciate edgeworth sticking out of line in an attempt to do his literal job, and try to control him by threatening to take away his badge. furthermore, shields, gregory's old companion, shows back up and works with edgeworth to find the the truth of a handful of incidents that would've otherwise been covered up by the p.i.c. - including gregory's last case, in which he proved that manfred, who prosecuted that same case, did indeed forge evidence.
after relinquishing his badge in a protest against what is clearly an injustice, manfred's old habits being dredged back up, and the extended hand of the man in charge of his father's old law firm, edgeworth is getting pulled in a number of different directions - will he capitulate, give up on prosecuting entirely, run away from his past, and become a defender of the people and an attorney like his father? or will he reject manfred's terrible methods while working to rectify his mentor/adopted father's wrongdoings, face his past head-on, and seek the truth as a prosecutor, regardless of his mentor's legacy and reputation?
both of the paths offered to edgeworth hinge on who he used to be - a boy who wanted nothing more than to be like his father, a phenomenal defense attorney who stood up for those who had nobody to stand up for them, and a young adult who saw the injustice in the world and wanted to punish it in the best way he could think of - becoming like his adopted father who never failed to put a (seemingly) guilty person behind bars.
investigations 2 gives us..... a whole slew of parent-child relationships. like what can only be described as truly an impressive amount: gregory & miles & manfred, master & katherine, sebastian & debeste, gustavia & simon, dover & knightley, blaise & sebastian, courtney & john, lang's dad & lang, and more tangentially manfred & franziska and byrne & kay. for our purposes, though, we're going to focus on the most immediately relevant ones to edgeworth's development specifically - sebastian & blaise and gustavia & simon.
for starters, i think it would probably be best to get the von karma-edgeworth family soap opera soapboxing out of the way.
edgeworth's arc in this game primarily revolves around what he wants to do with his life - he talks a whole lot about his "path", but doesnt really know what that means outside of seeking the truth at all costs. the people around him like to slot him into either "defense attorney" or "prosecutor" for a variety of reasons, but more often than not it ends up boiling down to his fathers in at least some capacity.
franziska is personally betrayed and frankly disgusted by edgeworth giving up his badge (which makes plenty of sense, particularly after their conversation at the end of aa2 and which i have talked about here), and a notable portion of that does have to do with her & manfred's relationship to edgeworth. manfred's influence was a huge factor in miles' decision to become a prosecutor, and they both know it. of course, the more pressing issue for her is the fact that miles is abandoning her again - but the point remains that had it not been for manfred, the likelihood of miles becoming a prosecutor would be, frankly, much lower.
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shields, on the other hand, spends a whole lot of the game projecting gregory onto miles. he wants edgeworth to follow in his fathers footsteps and play the role of the returning prodigal son, because he misses gregory and sees a lot of his influence and mannerisms in miles. actually, something i kind of found particularly interesting is that at one point, shields remarks that edgeworth's trademark glare was the same as that of gregory's. theres a whole lot of remarks made on that glare, actually, particularly in combination with edgeworths furrowed brow.
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but... shields himself is the one who says this
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about - would you guess it - a certain manfred von karma. its no secret that miles has picked up a whole number of manfred's mannerisms and attitudes, even as he's unlearning some of the more harmful ones, but what i found particularly fascinating is that shields saw something that miles picked up from manfred and saw gregory in it instead. while part of it certainly could be that miles did pick part of it up from gregory (which is something that has a basis in the sprites - something i may actually get into a little bit later), its also very possible that this is shields projecting what he wants to see onto miles as opposed to what's actually there. its even more interesting though, because when they first meet, shields actually mistakes edgeworth for manfred because of that glare
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shields is so caught up in wanting gregory back from the dead that he occasionally blinds himself from acknowledging that miles is an entirely different person.
and, of course, throughout both this game and the previous investigations game, there's more than a few moments in which edgeworth personally accused of using falsified evidence to convict people - specifically harkening back to our good friend manfred von karma, posterchild of world's most corrupt prosecutors and edgeworth's adopted father/mentor. shields even expresses immense distrust of miles at first simply on this fact, acknowledging that miles was indeed like a son to manfred (..... for whatever that's worth)
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actually. while we're here on this point i want to speak briefly about sprite similarities
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this game does a whole lot of calling attention to the influence manfred & gregory have had on miles - obviously theres the furrowed brow & piercing gaze and terrible people skills that miles got from manfred, but he also has gregory's affinity for tea and dorky camera face. the sprites also do a great job in visually establishing his inherited mannerisms though - while manfred's influence has done a lot, gregory's habits still peek through the cracks.
ive talked about this a little bit on another post, but i feel like it warrants repeating here anyways. the sprite animations in ace attorney are great for a lot of reasons, but one of the most interesting ones is how they're frequently used to imply connections between characters and the influence of certain relationships.
we know that miles definitely did not get his bowing from manfred, but with gregory's sprites in this game it becomes abundantly clear where they originated from (of course, with the over-the-top melodrama of the von karmas added on top). similarly with miles' hand bounding sprite, its a pointed finger (giving it an accusatory tint, definitely coming from manfred), while gregory's is an open hand (much more inviting), but the bounce nonetheless remains. the sprite similarities between miles & manfred are a bit more straightforward, but something i find tremendously interesting is how the mannerisms miles picked up from his father have the von karma influence absorbed into them - it really is a brilliant visual indicator of the impact both his fathers have had on his character.
i've talked about this general topic semi-extensively on this blog simply because i am truly a bit obsessed with the von karma-edgeworth family soap opera, but i feel like it warrants repeating here anyways since it comes up in this came so often. miles' relationship with gregory is... honestly not really explored terribly much? like shields will reference him a lot and both him and the game itself absolutely loves comparing the two, but as far as edgeworth's personal feelings on gregory go... we. honestly don't get much, either directly or indirectly. which makes sense, obviously - edgeworth was like 9 when he died - but its still interesting. we obviously know that gregory loved edgeworth a lot (see: him thinking about miles periodically throughout the investigation . which is. for the record. absolutely adorable)
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but miles doesn't get much of anything at all in terms of internal or external dialogue about gregory. his relationship with manfred, however, is... a lot more messy, but also explored a fair bit through implications.
mr von karma gets brought up a lot in both investigations 1 & 2, and miles' reaction is largely the same - he'll comment on objective facts (usually ones that were brought up in the first by the people around him) whether its manfred's skill in prosecuting or his tendency towards forgery, but blatantly refuses to ever give any sort of subjective opinion on him (franziska is, for the record, the exact same way). theyll dance around the topic, sure, but never genuinely engage with it - as much can be seen if you make edgeworth present his badge to amano in investigations 1.
while franziska's feelings on her father are a lot more obscured, miles' are a little more openly messy - after all, he still keeps his prosecutors badge in his pocket all these years after manfred told him prosecutors who wore their badges are tacky. he still wears the jabot, an integral and iconic bit of manfreds attire (and another thing that made shields briefly think he was manfred). he still has no problem connecting with and helping manfred's old friends (amano, for example). and, mostly damning of all, he still keeps his old prosecutors outfit - the outfit manfred gave him based off of his own suit - plastered to his office wall. its clear that he doesnt approve of manfred's methods of prosecution and recognizes that he was definitely corrupt, but even with all the murder and framing and so on and so forth... manfred was still his dad. even if its not logical for miles to still hold on to that filial love, you cant really argue your emotions into changing into something rational.
with the repeated importance being placed on the influence of gregory and manfred on miles' life, their relationship to him, and other people's expectations for miles based on their legacies established, i think we can probably try to get into sebastian now. gonna be copy-pasting most of my sebastian vs miles & franziska mini-essay here because i dont want to retype it.
sebastian is actually a kind of interesting foil for franziska and miles - its pretty clear that franziska didnt become a prosecutor specifically for manfreds approval (see: miles’ comment on her always having been a prosecutor) and likewise with edgeworth (see: his statement on his motivation for becoming a prosecutor having been to chase down criminals after what happened to gregory), but throughout the flashback case in investigations 1 it is so obvious that both of them desperately crave manfred’s approval even to the point of competing over it.
while this competition follows the usual format of franziska insisting on something and miles passively going along with it as opposed to actively engaging, he spends the entire case literally trying to be a mini-manfred (its very sad and also kind of cute), and its made pretty clear that at the very least he would not be the prosecutor he is without manfred’s influence. furthermore, at the end of aa2, franziska also comments on the pressures and expectations being placed on her by virtue of being manfred’s daughter - she felt that she was obligated to become a genius prosecutor simply because of her birth. while the wording indicated to me outside pressure rather than manfred specifically, the point remains that manfred, while not the sole driving reason, did have a significant impact on their career choice.
sebastian, however, specifically says he became a prosecutor for the purpose of getting his dad's approval. blaise routinely speaks ill of sebastian, calling him stupid and an idiot and embarrassing and so on and so forth, but its incredibly clear that sebastian is genuinely desperate for any sort of positive affirmation from his father. he unknowingly cheated his way through law school, graduating at the top of his class purely through blaise's connections, and is genuinely distraught when he finds out that everything he built his adult life on was a lie. the game spends a fair amount of time showing you how wildly terrible sebastian is at being a prosecutor, only to reveal that the reason he's like this is, like, 80% his dad's fault.
unlike sebastian, however, franziska and miles are both quite competent at their jobs and manfred, unlike blaise, actually has confidence in their ability to perform to his expectations (see: him bullying badd into letting them try to solve the case in the investigations 1 flashback case). sebastian & blaise are like a worse and caricatured version of the von karma family soap - basically, they're what would happen if miles & franziska 1) were absolutely dependent on manfreds approval and 2) weren't terribly good at prosecuting, and if manfred was 1) prone to coddling and 2) actively verbally abusive.
theres also the added parallel of “oops! my dad actually really sucks as a person” and the ensuing Complicated Feelings On Dad after this. franziska expresses an egregious amount of disdain for sebastian before we really get into the blaise debacle because she doesnt respect him as a person at all, but is honestly surprisingly sympathetic when it turns out his dad is a criminal. futhermore, she willingly relinquishes her place at the prosecutor's bench for him when its clear he's ready to stand up to blaise, even if hes crying and sobbing the whole way through. its this shared experience and his subsequent growing of a spine that earns her respect.
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edgeworth, for his part, also doesnt seem to respect sebastian much at all before the kidnapping incident. however, upon trying to prod him into telling what happened, edgeworth recognizes a part of his old self in sebastian, as well as sebastians willingness to grow up and move past his desperation for his father's approval.
more than just being a funhouse mirror version of the von karmas, blaise and sebastians relationship highlights the dangers of blindly chasing after your parents, critical thinking long forgotten, which has a twofold meaning in regards to miles. obviously, theres the pretty straightforward parallel to his blatant idolization of manfred as a young prosecutor - while the situation wasnt necessarily the same, it still possesses those echoes of a desperate need for acknowledgement/approval, to the point of following their fathers' examples even in the worst ways. @/pkducklett left some really great tags on one of my posts which hits the nail on the head:
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but it also begs the question: is blindly chasing after his childhood dream of being like gregory really what miles wants to do with his life? a point we'll loop back around to in a bit, but important to keep in mind for edgeworth's overall arc.
so onto simon & gustavia! simon's relationship with his murderous father gustavia also serves as a foil to miles and one of his dads like sebastian & blaise - however, instead of our notoriously trigger happy friend manfred von karma, it's actually.... gregory! which is, for the record, tremendously fun. simon & miles both became orphans at a young age - which is a notable part of the reason edgeworth agrees to take his case in the jail episode, even. the camaraderie between two people who have shared in the same traumatizing experience and so on and so forth - but instead of being taken from his son like gregory was, gustavia purposely abandons simon once he's deemed him worthless.
post-orphaning, both miles & sebastian are taken under the wing of men of questionable character - miles is adopted by manfred von karma, gregory's rival, murderer, and the anti-thesis of everything he stood for, and sebastian becomes the apprentice to dogen, a ruthless assassin. interestingly enough, though, this parallel diverges in the end - manfred throws miles under the bus and backs up over him like three separate times, metaphorically speaking, while dogen actively puts his life on the line to save sebastian.
miles & simon both experienced the injustice of the law system - miles in the absolute failure of the courts to find his father's true murderer, and simon in his personal experience in its utter corruption. their reactions to this injustice leads them both to commit further injustices - miles in uncritically adopting manfred's ideals and teachings, and in this process definitely sending innocent people to jail at some point or another, and simon in his attempt at semi-vigilante justice via manipulating all the people who ruined his life into either ending or ruining each others', regardless of anybody innocent who got caught in the crossfire.
of course, the narrative purpose of making simon a foil to miles is the final confrontation on three main points - 1) what does miles fight for? why is he a prosecutor? 2) how do you deal with the absolutely rotten law system in japanifornia? 3) are we simply doomed to become our parents, or can we become more than just their continued legacies? which naturally leads us to the final question posed in the thesis - the heart of the game - who does miles want to be?
shields spends a lot of time trying to convince miles to pick up gregory's mantle and join him back at the law offices, but the problem is that miles simply isn't the starry-eyed child who would do anything to be like his father anymore (growing up under the roof of one of the greatest prosecutors of one's time will do that to you). he's no longer the sebastian to blaise for either of his fathers - he cannot simply throw everything he's learned and experienced away in an attempt to imitate gregory, but also has soundly rejected many of manfred's most staunchly held ideals. while not all of them remain, a major part of the reasons he became a prosecutor still hold - even as he's abandoned his badge.
simon was what edgeworth could have become under slightly different circumstances, and he says as much himself. he recognizes that the law isn't perfect and more often than not is wildly abused by everybody in power to subject everybody else to their whims - and that, no matter how hard a defense attorney tries.... if the courts are inherently stacked against them, a corrupt prosecutor will inevitably win. at the end of aa2, edgeworth returns from his wildly melodramatic sabbatical with the answer that the prosecution and the defense need to work hand in hand to reveal the truth - which is, obviously, a correct statement - but there's more to it than that.
there's more than just the defendant at stake in trial - the protection of the victims (whether recognized as the victim by the law or not) are why the laws exist in the first place - this is the reason that edgeworth arrives at for his reason for being a prosecutor. its simon who reminds him of why he started down this path in the first place - the visceral pain edgeworth felt at his father's death and the desire for justice to be done for gregory and himself mirroring simon's feelings after being abandoned by his father and his flight after being the witness to a crime wildly corrupt people in power committed. to be what phoenix was for him in turnabout goodbyes - to be a beacon of hope and justice for the wronged - that is miles' duty.
edgeworth speaks a lot about following "his path" to truth, wherever that might lead, but at the beginning of the game doesnt seem to have a clear idea of what he actually wants to do. he stalls out on shields' many wink wink nudge nudge offers to join the defense attorney firm and be like his dad and continues acting like a prosecutor (indicting people, investigating, the likes) even while being stripped of his authority as one (by his own choice!).
ultimately it all boils back down to these three questions miles asks sebastian in the logic chess game post kidnapping - "what are you going to do now? will you walk the same path as your father? will you continue to be a prosecutor?"
much, much earlier in the game, shields says to edgeworth, "to fight crime as a prosecutor, or to save people as a defense attorney. i want you to think carefully about how you want to live your life from now on." - which, taken with the context of the game as an essay on parents and inheritance and manfred & gregory's influence on miles, is... pretty much the game in a nutshell, actually.
miles spends the entire time playing both defense attorney and prosecutor, indicting certain people and defending others throughout. this is arguably most notable in the flashback/flashforward case where all the members of the original is-7 investigation are there, except for manfred and gregory, who are both being stood in for by - would you guess it - our very own miles edgeworth. he is their legacy, their successor, and their inheritor. in the end, he takes the skills they taught him and the values they imbued him with and the lessons he learned from them to forge his own path - it really is just his final answer to shields' question in the finale of the game: "i want to save people as a prosecutor."
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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bereft-of-frogs · 2 months
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*beating the ideas away with a broom, because the wip queue is already too full of too-long ideas* you need to stop
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whumpy-wyrms · 5 months
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yk i was having trouble writing tllr chapter 12 because Dew is sick with a fever in the beginning and i just,, idk felt uninspired or something because im not the biggest fan of sickfics or whatever
well now i’m sick with a fever and it’s helll so sorry Dew im gonna have to put you through this now my bad 👍👍 at least i am now inspired
if this post makes no sense it’s because my brain hurts and i’m tired 👍👍👍
#i’m fine it’s just kinda funny#like last night i was writing ahead to chapter 14 because i was stuck on chapter 12 cuz i didn’t know how to write it#and now i’m sick with a fever just like Dew hahahaha sorry buddy but we’re in this together now 👍👍👍 and it’s 105 idk if that’s normal#at least it’s giving me inspiration and i am no longer stuck on it#but i’m too sick to fucking write it!!!! i wanna write uhhgjjfjdjd#ok im done#well actually i had the craziest dream last night#it was about this new animated movie that doesn’t exist and i was watching it/ acting it out as the main character and it was so fucking#cool like i was flyingggg!!! i was a weird purple creature with wings and was flying just like dew it was fucking awesome#like there were so many really cool characters with really creative designs and the antagonist was a weird giant bug who could also fly#so he was chasing me around in the air and it was so cool i was so fast flying around like in a minecraft elytra course#i love vivid dreams like that that feel real and like after the movie was finished i posted on tumblr about how much i loved this new#netflix animated movie and my mutuals were there and also thought it was cool#anyway it was fun i love flying in my dreams i feel so free.. unlike Dewey oopsie sorry buddy#deweyeyeyeye ur so silly i love him SO MUCH#ok im gonna shut up now#wyrms says stuff#fever#fever dream#if i tagged this as irl whump would i also have to tag it as minor whump hahahhaha#idk i wanna play roblox with my mutuals again#mutuals if ur reading this u can literally bother me to play video games all day every day because the answer will always#be an enthusiastic YESS!!!!#i should watch nightmare time today#no dumbass i should REST dumbass ehehheehe#i’m being so annoying again sorry everyone 😼😼😼😼
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xiewho · 1 month
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i love love love the way you draw gorgug!! you give him so much personality :)
ouhhh omg thank u so much 😭😭 he’s my favorite bad kid so i tend to overthink a lot when i draw him haha but im really glad u like the way i draw him :’)
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variousqueerthings · 8 months
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*sighs in post mildly broke containment again* there's nothing wrong with reading willow as a lesbian, this is a piece of fiction, and the post I made took on a jokey tone for a reason and is ultimately more about underlying bi-erasure on tv than anything else kaybye ✌
#im watching btvs#jeepers creepers but btvs is bringing out the *taking it all very seriously in a very morally high-and-mighty kind of way* crowd#and i dont mean about shit that matters such as discussing racism or misogyny in fandom#just about whether you agree or dislike someone's read of a situation - move on my friend if you dont agree#i mean i could go on a rant about HOW the show portrayed willow-the-now-lesbian#(and while im at it why i hc buffy-the-apparent-heterosexual as bi too but nobody has disputed that part oddly enough)#but that would be an effort im truly not interested in expending on this day and possibly never and has been written before#im mostly just live-blogging and moving on#if im writing anything fanfic-wise it'll be about kendra and that'll be my full fandom contribution#ok but the ONE thing i'll mention is the fight willow has with tara which is one of the rare Ls for tara#where she basically admits that she's afraid this is a phase because willow has loved men/been with oz#and that's just an interesting fight from a meta perspective because the idea that bi women have to *choose a side*#and are consistently questioned and doubted by their lesbian partners#is a core element of biphobia within a gay relationship that many people can attest to#hell it's a big part of bisexual rep that is conscious of itself that at some point there's a plotline where the person is questioned#about their true loyalties and asked to take a side#btvs ofc is NOT conscious of this underlying tension and in fact i would argue is agreeing with tara that this is what needs to happen#for several other reasons as well#but literally people have WRITTEN about this im not saying anything bold and controversial here AND it doesnt take away#from lesbian willow reads to acknowledge the flawed approach of the show to her sexuality like come on#willow rosenberg
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farolero-posting · 11 months
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I think Cedric and Calamus should be friends and join the club of teenagers with way too much weight on their shoulders because holy shit they deserve good things.
I mean, one of those small details that I always felt were kind of sad was that line Cedric has about not knowing Calamus or Alula... which makes sense in a way, because it was the Author who knew them better. And yet both Cedric and Calamus feel close in age and have similar personalities I am genuinely surprised they weren't friends.
And now considering their circumstances... Both of them need to be the proactive sibling, ready to react to situations that are beyond what teens like them should be doing.
We... never get told what happened to Rachis, although context probably tells us he was one of the NPCs lost to the squares. But even if Calamus and Alula were not aware of that truth, they're both still functionally orphans, and Calamus has made it his responsibility to make sure Alula is okay because she is all he has left.
Cedric is one of the few people aware of being in a simulation, and this by itself is already really isolating. Cedric is also the one responsible for... pretty much ensuring that Niko made it to the city and fulfilled their mission, having to make up plans as he goes. Not to mention the knowledge that his father is gone for good now, and the grief that is tied to it.
And besides all of this, I just really think that these two are alike in personality. Both are really polite, hardworking and responsible. The only big differences are their sets of skills and that Cedric is more willing to take risks on the spot, while I feel like Calamus would be more cautious in his place.
But gosh they could be good friends.
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sunnykeysmash · 11 months
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just realized there's probably a lot of new people in sunnyblr so im gonna shill again the sunny spec script I wrote in 2020 in 2 days
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teufelme · 8 months
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You ever just want to talk about Bertl,
#i  .   ooc  .#The tags got so long just warning U now!#OK I know his appearance wasn't the longest but like. I'll never stop talking about him because he doesn't get enough credit? rip.#I know it's not really relevant any more because post-timeskip everyone is a lot better but. Referring to everyone's skill as of pre.#Reiner said Bertolt was the strongest of all of the shifters but he held himself back. He came 3rd without giving his all. Or really trying#I hc he held himself back to try not to let too much of his strength show bc people forget he had military training b4 joining the 104th.#And ofc. Also to not bring too much attention to himself bc of who he really is???#The way he mastered his Titan straight away and also has such a good handle on it.#Out of the 3 shifters he was the one that stayed true to the mission. Despite his reluctance he's got the strength and commitment.#People are so quick to say he relies on Reiner too much. And while he does at times. Reiner relies on him just as much if not more. Even if#Reiner doesn't realise it. Bertolt keeps him on track and has no one supporting him at all.#In COTT arc... U see him dodge Mikasa who is an Ackerman and seen as one of the strongest characters in the series...#And the same in RTS. Everyone gets too distracted by Mikasa to actually pay attention to how he dodges her 4 times?? Even tho she attacks#from behind? And the way he lands a hit on her. I just *screams*. I love how many times she tries to kill him. lol#How effective he is when he abandons his guilt and this is sort of irrelevant but. It's so special to me because as someone who is#a quiet person irl round people I don't know well. Who has it brought up a lot. I just adore when a character that remains in the#background just comes out and says enough is so hhhhh I know his reasons aren't good BUT RTS BERT... AH.#Also gotta talk about his marksmanship skills in a thread at some point?? Maybe Mp bert I J UST..#Anyway I might do a cheeky revamp of graphics n icons and that. Dunno yet. Need to actually write that'd be good lol.#This account is a lovebot didn't U know.
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elegyofthemoon · 10 days
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ok but do i want to actually sit and read through all the clockie animation stuff so i have better foundation for what i want to say? i guess
#avil plays hsr#idk if i actually want to write this ramble because i started rewatching a bunch of scenes that i needed to figure my thoughts out#but the more i gather the more im getting lost with myself so im like MMMMM#i gotta line these pieces up first#i think the trickiest thing about gallagher is wondering how much of what he says is true vs false#UH#ill just tag this as#hsr 2.1 spoilers#because thats the ramble in the tags#but like as a follower of enigmata hes prone to lying and conjuring even more riddles to confuse you#so i just have to wonder too#and if his whole facade as gallagher is fake. then how did he actually become part of the bloodhound?#sunday points out how gallagher stoles features from so many members of the family so. i just have to wonder#he couldnt have changed his identity without being noticed#so thats where i get confused. like How did you get in here in the first place using your disguise?#how did you fool people?#ANSWER MY QUESTIONS MAN (SHAKES GALLAGHER)#at the very least though: i think what he says about mikhail is true#i want to believe those are true even despite his false front#the things i want to talk about is like#well first i wanna make a whole timeline of the historical events of penacony#and that will give me a better idea of how things led to one another to present time#and THANKFULLY i rewatched because now i understand what gallagher meant possibly by traitor#but how did the family come to be?#how did the dreammaster come to be? (SHAKES THE GAME)#ok so i have to read more. so this will take longer#unfortunately maybe by the time i get all the information i want itll be too late and someone else wouldve said#SOMEONE PROBABLY DID#but i like the satisfaction of pulling the pieces together myself. thats the satisfaction of solving cases and puzzles ✨#my desk looks ridiculous now because its like. sticky notes everywhere because im like I HAVE TO MAKE NOTE OF THIS
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altruistic-meme · 7 months
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oh the halloween spirit is hitting me ohhhh no
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cinnabeat · 14 days
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the idea that teachers would make new transfer students stand up and like introduce themselves or whatever is soo fake bc i had a friend who transfered mid semester into my school and specifically one of my classes and not only did the teacher not force her to introduce herself but i didnt even know she transferred at all for like a good couple months of our friendship
#i also didnt know her name bc she kind of just appeared#but i wasnt the most observant in high school mostly bc i didnt care#and i was kind of dragged into a well established friend group so i was just like yeah ok i guess we're friends#i was too embarrassed to ask what her name was#tbh at this point i couldnt tell you if anyone actually told me her name like explicitly#her name was mentioned many times in front of me of course but like. i need to consciously be aware to remember something#and a name drop in the middle of a group convo is not a time my for my brain to get out of autopilot mode#i mean i also dont remmebe much of high school either#hilariously enough the most i remember abt highschool is incidents ive had with teachers#shout out to my one teacher that gave me a zero in a lab report bc i 'plagiarized' it#cuz no eleventh grader can write that advanced#and i was like ive literally written like that all my life you can literally check my essays for english class#why would i plagiarize this#and then when she was like fine ill believe you for now (bitch??) and gave me a B on it anyways#i hated her#ohhh and my chem teacher#she was so rancid i hated her so much#ooh who else did i hate......MY SPANISH TEACHER#i will never forgive her for giving me a D in spanish. bitch im a native speaker#and then had the audacity to ask me why i wasnt aware of homework and i was like cuz you never post it online AND im not the only one who fo#forgets why arent you bitching at everyone else#i swear i hated someone else who was it........#i had a geudge against the new peincipal and his horrendous graduation plans but it ended up not mattering anyways cuz of covid#drivethru graduation lmao ✌️#michi tag#not to talk abt highschool again LMAO
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