#ok the rosemary literally took me out when I looked it up
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(Sorry this is much later than I expected to post!)
Ok everyone we did it, we went to Artnia and ate the Vincent pasta and it was beautiful
Full review of Artnia below the cut ❤️
For those curious, Artnia is an official Square Enix Cafe in the middle of Shinjuku that looks like an egg. It’s a bit quieter and smaller than the Square Enix Cafe in Akihabara.
Making a Reservation
You can make a reservation if you live in Japan and have a Square Enix account, but if you don’t, there may be a few spots available for walk ins. It’s recommended to go early, when they open at 11am, to make a walk in reservation. Also, try weekdays for better luck (we went on a Monday). We dropped in at around 12pm and there was space available at 5pm, so we took it right away. They also stop serving food after 7pm I believe, but you can still order drinks.
While it is helpful to know enough Japanese to comfortably make an order, the staff is helpful, friendly, and speak sufficient English. Lots of foreigners visit because it’s a Square Enix cafe, so Japanese isn’t necessarily required.
When you walk in, you can go to the register and tell them you do not have a reservation, but want to ask if they have any space available for that day. If they do they will give you a ticket for an available time and you can come back if it’s later in the day. You can reserve for up to 4 people but you may have better luck for 1 or 2 guests only.
Note that their primary clientele is local Japanese residents, so they do not have an English menu. If you need to, you can use Google Translate’s camera function to better understand what you’re ordering. Not all ingredients are listed, so take caution if you have special dietary needs.
The FFVII Rebirth Menu is time limited and split into 2 parts. The menu items with the yellow triangles say “prior period” and ended on 4/4, so you can’t order them anymore. The ones with the green triangles say “later period” and are available from 4/5 thru 5/10. Blue corners are available throughout the duration of the event (they’re notably Cloud/Sephiroth themed of course).
But what about the pasta
Ok so on to the important part! You already know what I ordered.
Here’s the menu item description:
ヴィンセントデュアルパスタ
二色のパスタでヴィンセントの持つ二面性を表現しました。スパイシーなアラビアータと濃厚なイカスミパスタをご堪能ください。
Vincent Dual Pasta
“A two-color pasta represents the dual faceted nature that Vincent has. Please enjoy* this spicy arrabbiata and rich** squid-ink pasta.”
(*ご堪能ください go-tannou kudasai means “please enjoy” but it also means “please feel free to satisfy yourself/to have your fill of…” I’m just gonna let ya’ll fill in the blanks on that one 😘)
( ** 濃厚 noukou (rich in taste) can also be translated as passionate hahaha)
I need to talk about the Squid-ink pasta first. It can only be described as bougie AF. Squid ink is already kind of extra. But I think it had frickin saffron ??? And edible gold leaf on top???? And I am fairly certain that in addition to like, a tiny sprinkling of Parmesan (this is obligatory for any remotely Italian meal) there was like, tiny black caviar?????
Saffron?? Caviar??? Edible gold leaf????
If you ever wondered whether Vincent would spoil the heck out of you, the answer is yes. Yes, he would. Only the best with our man ❤️
Squid ink aside, the more standard arrabbiata was also nice. As a pescatarian, I was nervous it would have meat in it, as a lot of spaghetti dishes in Japan generally contain meat. Luckily it seemed to be vegetable-based, there was like a single zucchini or eggplant slice in there somewhere 😂 (Personally, I think a meat-free option suits him better. It’s like, slightly more compassionate than straight up bolognese or something).
Arrabbiata is made with tomatoes, garlic, olive oil, and dried chili. (He pretends to be a vampire so he can get free garlic, guys) It also means “angry” in Italian (or spiciness pushed to excess). This is Square Enix basically telling you they know he is the hottest FFVII character. He’s not just hot. He’s spicy.
Ok but. Was it actually spicy? No, thankfully. Except for wasabi, Japanese cooking tends to be on the milder side anyway—but it did come with some chili peppers as a garnish, in case you want the full experience, lol.
Speaking of garnishes, what is that green thing in the middle?
It’s rosemary.
WAIT LET ME GOOGLE SOMETHING REAL QUICK
…
Oh lord did the people coming up with this concept do their research:
“Rosemary is the symbol of remembrance, friendship and love and was thus used in wedding ceremonies.” (It also has historical links to the Virgin Mary.)
That’s not just a random herb. That’s the most important part. Like?????????????? Is anyone else ok????? I’m glad I didn’t look this up in the cafe or I would have started ugly crying.
The Bottom Line
So was it good? Actually, yes! Artnia is a higher-end themed cafe than most (a lot of them get a bad rap for having barely edible food while overly relying on the fan aspects to carry the cafe). As a themed item it was close to perfect. The thought and care that went into this particular menu was apparent. I really appreciated that.
Also, this was super affordable as a meal. The yen is ¥0.66 = $1 right now, so this was under $10 😭 Caviar, saffron, squid ink and gold leaf for under $10? Seriously what the heck.
(Bonus, here is a terrible photo of the only Vincent decoration I could find in the store haha. It was kind of holographic?? And attached to the bar counter so I had to squat down to take a photo with my very old phone camera. Still made my heart go dokidoki)
The other items on the special menu were also really good! Husband ordered the “Cloud Black Omelette Rice” and he said it was some of the best omuraisu he had in Japan so far. Granted we are not the biggest consumers of omuraisu, but that has to count for something. We also tried the Cait Sith Mog Box drink (REALLY good, if you like Black Sesame) and the Gold Saucer Protein Juice (highly doubt it had any protein but it was a refreshing orange juice based drink).
Plus, for every drink you order, you get a random free character coaster. Check my next post to see who I got ❤️
The special menu is ongoing until Friday, May 10! If a trip to Tokyo is in the cards for you, as an FFVII fan, I do recommend making a trip to Artnia ❤️
EDIT: I lied there is *one* Vincent figure on display and like two tiny pieces of merch (which I will post later, tumblr doesn’t like me rn)
#artnia#vincent valentine#artnia square enix#ffvii rebirth#square enix#square enix cafe#food review#idk if Vincent eats but if he did…? lolol#post for another day#ok the rosemary literally took me out when I looked it up
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I keep hearing from various sources that this Winter's supposed to be a fairly bad one.
I'm ok with losing the Absinthe Wormwood and Mugwort because they're fast growers, if it comes down to it. But the Hyssop was such a slow grower ... I'm wondering if I should just go ahead and dig up the Hyssop, repot it, and bring it in for winter to ensure it keeps- or just leave it and see what comes of it.
Repotting it risks loosing it regardless. But there's still a chance it might keep inground. But I'm still leaning towards repotting it just because it took so dang long for it to even grow the tiny amount that it did and I really don't want to rebuy it next season if I don't really have to because I was able to keep it going, y'know?
Digging almost anything up right before winter, though, is usually such a risky move. Eugh. I'm so conflicted on this one, and I have zero experience with this plant to guide me on it.
ETA: My Husband and I uprooted it and pulled it in tonight, and I'm really glad I did.
I'd checked on everything in the garden before our temps started dropping into the 30's the first time and it was doing ok; about as well as it had been all year- which is to say not great, but at least green. But when we went out today about 90% of it's growth's already died off completely since the temps started doing their switchback* nonsense.
Oklahoma's famous "is it or isn't it" seasonal intermission where it flips back and forth between ~90f and ~30f randomly, and you never know what it's going to be from day to day. Not until it finally decides to get its act together more consistently- which is always a tossup for timing; could be a week of the nonsense, could be 3 months. You literally never know. Just the perks of being in a massive ecological transitional zone.
The plant never got any bigger than my palm throughout the year, despite it supposing to be a semievergreen subshrub that gets quite big- and by this point it should be roughly rivaling my Rosemary in size. But there's only about 4 living stems left on it now, out of the 7 it originally had, and the leaves that are on the remaining ones are shriveled to Antarctica and back. The roots were unhealthy and had significant dieback already, too. Especially compared to some of the healthier plants I dug up alongside it and chucked (because I'm not keeping them).
We'll see if it survives, but it looks kind of grim either way.
ETA 2: For those saying Hyssop "should be hardy to my Zone" ... Yes ... I do know enough to know that it reasonably should be; reasonably speaking, at normal times, in normal seasons, my area shouldn't routinely get cold enough to make it an issue, especially with good Winter protection.
Unfortunately in the last 3 years our Winters have gotten particularly brutal; we've had Ice Storms (a rare phenomenon that only typically occurs about every decade or so, and most frequently in January) occurring twice or more in a season, as early as October. And we're seeing regular temperatures as low as -25f for weeks at a time. We're also getting snow (a phenomenon we don't usually get here that much or for that long, where we mostly just get Sleet- or frozen rain, for those unfamiliar with it- for about a week) more often and in larger quantities than before.
Hyssop is really only cold hardy down to roughly -13f. So even the best Winter protection is not really going to protect Hyssop from those kind of conditions. Especially not in a year when the coming Winter is predicted to be even worse than usual (which includes being even worse than the last 3 pretty bad years that we've already experienced) ... But it's especially not going to protect a palm sized, 1 year old Hyssop plant that's already been struggling all year long to begin with.
Very respectfully and appreciatively: "It should" means absolutely nothing in this circumstance and ultimately doesn't really help me. I'm just going to delete those comments because you're being unhelpful and irrelevant.
#Personal#2023#My Garden#Garden 2023#Verderer#Gardening#Green Witch#Green Witchcraft#Oklahoma#Witchy Gardening#Witches Garden#Witch's Garden#Gardenblr#Plantblr
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goodbye, yellow brick road
Sadie gets a late start on Sunday night. It’s eight in the evening when she packs up her things and starts to walk out the door.
Then again, when Sadie Doyle has to leave Lucy Callaghan, it’s never so easy.
“You should take some of this pizza,” Lucy says, throwing a few pepperoni slices into a plastic bag. “What if you get hungry on the way home?”
“I will get hungry on the way home,” Sadie says. “But I’ve gotten very good at running through McDonald’s drive-thrus. Too good, some might say.”
“Will you take me?” Emma asks. “Mom never takes me to McDonald’s.”
“I took you there last night,” Lucy says.
“Yeah, but that was rare.”
“I just think if you have better junk food options, then you should take them.”
Sadie walks over to Emma and wraps her up in a tight hug. She thinks about how much she misses Rosemary (and how much she has to apologize to her, too). She pulls Emma in closer and kisses her forehead, leaving berry-tinted lipstick behind.
“I’ll tell you what,” Sadie says. “When you come to visit me, I’ll take you all up and down Restaurant Row. Twice, if we have the time.”
Emma nods.
“I like the sound of that,” she says.
“Oh, I’m sure,” Sadie says. “And I think your mom likes the sound of stalling.”
Lucy seals up the plastic bag of pizza and tries to avoid turning bright pink. She hands the bag to Sadie, who’s smiling at her like she knows too much. She’s always known too much. Lucy just lets her get away with it. It’s nice to have somebody understand all the parts of you.
“I just don’t like it when you leave,” Lucy says. “It’s … hard not having a real friend here. You know what I mean?”
Sadie nods.
“It’s hard not having a real friend back home,” she says. “But I’m not alone.”
Will walks into the kitchen, just like on cue. Sadie smiles at him as he comes around and takes Lucy by the hand.
“And neither are you.”
Will smiles back at Sadie and scans her up and down – from suitcase to sun hat.
“You on your way out?” he asks.
“Guess so,” Sadie says. “Just not if your wife has anything to say about it.”
“Hmm. Well, what if I’m not ready for you to go yet, either?”
“Then I think you could both give me a hug, and we’d all call it even.”
Will brings Sadie into the embrace. They squish Lucy in the middle. Cons of being the shortest friend in a group of gorgeous giants.
“My head!” Lucy says. “You’re crushing my head!”
“Impossible,” Sadie says.
“Yeah, your head’s too big to get crushed,” Will says.
“Literally and metaphorically.”
They laugh like children, and Lucy rolls her eyes as she wriggles out of the hug. She takes a breath and then turns to Sadie. Without thinking very much of it, they take each other by both hands and stare silently for a little while.
“You have to call me,” Lucy says. “I hate it when you don’t call me.”
“I know,” Sadie says. “I just … think I forgot how to talk.”
“Call me. I’ll help you remember.”
Sadie grins and pulls Lucy in for an even tighter hug. When they pull apart, Will’s there, waiting with his hands in the pockets of his jeans.
“I can’t believe you drove 604 miles just to talk to me,” Will says.
“You better watch it,” Sadie says. “Your head’s gonna get as big as Lucy’s.”
“Can we chill out about the size of my head?” Lucy asks.
“No.”
Lucy rolls her eyes again, and Will moves in so he can hug Sadie. For a second, it feels almost like hugging Sam. It’s nice. Good.
“You gonna be OK, soldier?” Will asks.
Sadie smiles and squeezes Will’s hands one last time.
“I think so,” she says. “I’m going home to my family.”
She turns around to see Emma, standing there nervously. Sadie bends at the knee to look her in the eye. These poor girls got their mother’s height.
“You will come visit me, won’t you?” Sadie asks. “Not just for Restaurant Row?”
Emma grins.
“Not just for Restaurant Row,” she says. “I want to see you.”
Sadie opens her arms, and Emma runs right into the hug. She can be snuggly with the right invitation. When Emma jumps out of Sadie’s grasp, Sadie turns back to Lucy and Will, almost truly ready to head out the door.
“I can walk you out,” Will says. “Seems only right, since I’m the one who found you walking down the street like some kinda local.”
Sadie laughs.
“It’s OK, Will,” she says. “You stay up here with your family.”
Lucy snaps her fingers. Will looks at her with a knit brow.
“You still snap your fingers weird,” he says.
“Hush,” Lucy says. “Sadie, you can’t go. Elenore’s not here. If she doesn’t get a chance to say goodbye, she’ll be so upset.”
“Where is Elenore?” Emma asks, looking around the room as though she’ll materialize from behind the couch. “I haven’t seen her since before we had lunch.”
Will nudges Lucy in the ribs.
“Actually, there’s something we should probably talk about,” he murmurs.
Before Lucy can ask him what it is, Elenore comes running through the front door. Her face is pink and sweaty – the curse of mid-July. Lucy swiftly makes her way over.
“There you are,” she says. “Where have you been?”
Elenore smiles, trying not to cry.
“At Sean’s,” she says. “I just … I kinda needed to see him. I know I saw him last night before Emma’s play, but …”
“I get it,” Lucy says. “Sometimes you have to see your best friend.”
Elenore nods. She turns her gaze to Sadie and nods at the suitcase in her hand.
“Yeah,” she says. “You headed out, Sadie?”
“If your parents will ever let me leave,” Sadie says.
“Me?” Will asks, incredulous. “You’re lumping me into this?”
“You’re just as bad, and you know it.”
Will flexes his biceps, which even Sadie has to admit are still pretty impressive for somebody’s lawyer.
“I was born bad,” he says.
Sadie chuckles and turns back to Elenore.
“Glad you made it in time,” she says.
“Yeah, me too,” Elenore says. “And about that. I want to come with you.”
Sadie’s eyes pop wide open.
“That’s a surprise,” she says.
“Yeah, no kidding,” Lucy says, weaving her way over to Elenore. “What’s going on, kid? Are you OK?”
Elenore nods, even though she’s not OK. She can’t stop thinking about how this isn’t the place where she belongs – not right now, anyway. Her parents have an eight-year-old to raise, Sean has Scott the Columbia Student to love, and every time she thinks about the way Charlie held her hand, she wants to disappear.
But this isn’t the time to say any of that.
“Yeah,” she lies. “I’m OK. I just … it’s been such a long time since I was back in Michigan. And the last time … those weren’t the greatest circumstances, were they?”
Sadie smiles sympathetically. Really, she’s just impressed by how much it doesn’t hurt.
“But why go now?” Lucy asks. “At the very last minute?”
“Because I miss Sam, too,” Elenore says, and it’s not a lie. “And I’m tired of missing him from all the way over here. I want to be where he was. I want to see the world the way you all used to see it. I don’t … I don’t want to be distant.”
Lucy and Will look worriedly at each other for a moment or two. Without a word, they come to a perfect agreement.
“We still don’t like the idea of you flying alone,” Lucy says. “So, and only if it’s really OK with Sadie …”
“If she drives you back with her, we’ll pick you up in a week,” Will says.
Elenore breaks out into a slow grin. She turns to Sadie, searching for her approval. Luckily, Sadie looks back at her with a smile.
“It’s getting later and later by the second,” she says. “And it’s a long drive back home. I’m gonna need somebody to keep me up.”
“Oh, I’m great at that,” Elenore says. “I once kept my parents up for three hours singing ‘Copacabana.’
“Don’t let her fool you,” Will says. “It was just one line.”
“‘There was blood and a single gunshot! / But just who shot who?’”
“That’s the one.”
Sadie laughs warmly and looks at Elenore again.
“Better get packed up,” she says. “It’s gonna be a long night.”
Within half an hour, Elenore is packed up and ready to go. Everybody hugs one last time (and one last time after that, and after that, just to be safe). They’ll be together again soon, but there’s nothing like those last moments. Since Christmas, they know that better than ever.
“You can choose the radio station,” Sadie says when she and Elenore get into the car. “At least, for the first leg of the trip.”
“Fair,” Elenore says. “Let’s see if I can find something good.”
She turns the dial through a few pop anthems before landing on a song they both recognize.
You can’t plant me in your penthouse / I’m going back to my plough …
“Ugh, stupid New York traffic,” Sadie mumbles. “Am I going the right way?”
Elenore cranes her head to look back at the street where she lives. Her parents and Emma are still standing on the sidewalk, waiting for the car to fade out of sight. She turns back to Sadie and smiles.
“Yeah,” she says. “This is the right way.”
#drabble#ch: lucy callaghan#ch: will o'connor#ch: sadie doyle#ch: elenore o'connor#ch: emma o'connor#year: 2003#ship: c'est la vie say the old folks#dynamic: sister christian#dynamic: brother brother brother#series: goodbye yellow brick road#that's ... kinda it for this particular series#what's next? she (me) doesn't know
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New Girl on the Block (23)
(Welp, y’all, this is it. This is the last, pre-written chapter that I have written. From here on out we’re gonna have to rely strictly on my writing consistency and... I’m so sorry for that lol Because CLEARLY, if we’re on the last pre-written chapter, after having posted, like, three over the last month, we know that this isn’t gonna be good. BUT! I do have THIS chapter to give you! So please enjoy! And don’t forget to check out the mini series connected to this called Journal Entries!)
Ch.1 / Ch.22 / Ch.24 (ao3)
Chapter 23: How the Cards Fall
Marinette stared in horror at her former classmates, violently kicking herself for being so reckless. How could she forget that this was one of Alya and Nino’s favorite food carts too? She used to eat there with them all the time! She should have known better than to pick this place! Actually, she shouldn’t have picked anywhere to eat at all! Going to a place she used to enjoy meant going to a place where she used to hang out with her old friends, which meant eventually running into them, which meant- well - this! Oh, how could she be so stupid?
Maybe it won’t be so bad, she reasoned with herself before she could start hyperventilating. Maybe they’ll just roll their eyes and leave instead of making a scene.
But Alya was never one to back down from a (accidental) challenge. As soon as she realized her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her, a scowl etched itself onto her lips, and she started stomping in Marinette’s direction.
“It is you!” The red-head scoffed. “Oh, when I get my hands on you-”
Marinette flinched back, officially throwing breathing out the window. She looked at her current classmates and wondered what they would do if she ran, what they would think. Would they follow her or would they stay and talk with Alya? What if they started asking questions that Marinette couldn’t answer? What if Alya answered the questions before she could? Would they believe her? Was she going to have to find a new school again? What if Lila’s lies followed her there too? What if she never escaped Lila’s claims?
Suddenly, not breathing turned into breathing too fast, but before she could spiral further than gasping, a shadow passed over her.
It was Allan and Claude, coming to stand in front of her as a defense.
“Hey, woah!” Claude said, holding up his hands in a calming gesture. “Why don’t you back off a bit and tell us what’s got you so upset?”
A hand touched her shoulder lightly, and Marinette’s gaze snapped to Felix, who was now standing next to her. He met her eyes with a subtle raise of the eyebrows, and she knew what it meant.
“Are you alright?”
Marinette drew in a deep breath to steady herself and nodded, even though her insides felt like they were turning outwards at this point. Felix must have seen through her fib because his hand stayed on her shoulder as he looked back at Alya. His eyebrows were furrowed, which could be from his concern, but Marinette also knew curiosity when she saw it. He wants to know who these people are, and why they’re angry with her. And after everything she’s told him about her old school, he might be able to figure it out.
Alya briefly paused at the boys’ blockade, before raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms.
“So is this who you’re hiding behind now?” She asked, unimpressed. “Are these the new people you’ve managed to dupe?”
Marinette tensed, and Felix’s grip tightened on her shoulder. Whether that was a sign of support or his disgruntlement, she wasn’t sure.
“Are we supposed to know what that means?” Allegra, who had also come to stand next to Marinette, drawled.
“No.” Alya said. “Not yet, anyway. This one likes to wait until you’re in pretty deep before springing her trap.”
Marinette bit her lip, indignation rising in her chest. She didn’t deserve this. She hasn’t done anything wrong!
“Alya, that’s enough-” She tried to say, but Alya cut her off.
“I wasn’t talking to you.” The red-head snapped. “You don’t get to have a say anymore, not unless you’re willing to admit what you’ve done, what you really are.”
“Alya, come on.” Nino, who finally decided to join the conversation, coaxed. “L-Let’s just go. It’s not worth fighting over.”
Marinette might have been grateful had he not backed down right after when Alya shot him a glare.
“I’m going to assume you guys are her new classmates and friends.” Alya continued. “So let me tell you, as a former classmate and best friend, that this girl,” she pointed her finger accusingly at Marinette, “is a fraud.”
“That’s not true!” Marinette couldn’t help shouting.
Alya ignored her. “She makes herself look sweet and innocent by making you croissants or cookies and bringing you handmade gifts, but it’s all an act. All she really wants is the attention that the gifts bring, and when she doesn’t get it, she goes ballistic. I used to think she was the best thing in the world until a foreign exchange student came along and became more popular. Then she started stealing that person’s homework and ripping it up, or throwing her textbooks in the trash, or even tripping her down flights of stairs. One time we even caught her stealing personal items!”
“I didn’t do any of that!” Marinette insisted, more so to her friends than to Alya. “I told you she framed me!”
Alya scoffed. “You can’t even deny it anymore! Lila has all of the rude texts you’ve sent her, there were multiple witnesses to the tattered homework that was on your desk- myself included -and we all saw her take her family heirloom out of your locker.”
“That wasn’t a family heirloom! She literally bought that in a store two months before and then put it in my locker to frame me!”
Alya rolled her eyes and turned back to Claude and Allan. “Obviously, she’s going to make up whatever excuse she can to keep you from listening to me, but I advise you to dump her now while you can. She’ll make your life a living nightmare if she thinks you’re better than her somehow, though at this point,” Alya shot Marinette another scalding glare, “we all are.”
Tears burned in the corner of Marinette’s eyes, but before she could further argue her innocence, Claude spoke up.
“Ok, so what proof do you have of this?”
It was something she’d expected Felix to ask, honestly, and it left her staring at the brunette in shock. He was.. asking questions. The right questions. He wasn’t taking Alya’s words as gospel the way everyone else at Dupont had done with Lila’s words.
Alya frowned. “I already told you-”
“No, I don’t care about what you’ve said.” Claude interrupted. “You’re a stranger I just met, and Marinette is a good friend that I’ve known for a wonderful month and a half. I’m going to need more than your word.”
Alya narrowed her eyes at him, debating.
“Alright, fine. I’ll bring Lila here as a first hand account. She has the texts saved on her phone. As for the homework and such, those have already been replaced and done away with, but I do have the class president binder where several important forms are missing from Marinette burning them instead of giving them to Lila after leaving.”
Marinette had to bite her tongue to avoid laughing despite herself. Lila said that she burned some of the class papers? What would make her lie about something like that? Was it to get out of the work? Oh, boy, was that going to come back to bite her. She probably had to resign all of the ‘missing’ paperwork! Oh, this is the greatest thing Marinette’s ever heard. Hopefully, she said she lost a lot.
“Do you have the burnt papers?” Allan asked.
“No, of course not-”
“So, let me see if I’ve got this right,” Allegra said, her voice edging on annoyance, “we’re supposed to believe the account of a foreign exchange student, who we also don’t know, and who, apparently, brought out the worst in Marinette by herself even though no one had ever done so before, and the only actual proof you have, other than that girl’s word, is a series of texts that can easily be altered and a binder with some missing pages that ‘Lila’ could have misplaced or even burned herself. Is that correct?”
Alya scoffed. “You’re making it sound ridiculous.”
“No, I’m repeating what you’ve said to us, which is ridiculous.”
“She’s done other things too!” Alya insisted. “Just the other day she met up with one of my other friends and tried to persuade them into her clutches again, even though she had already transferred schools. Look-”
Alya pulled out her phone, and for once, Marinette looked on with interest as well. Lila making up a lie like that meant someone had to be going against her now, right? So who was it? Did someone mention Marinette’s name in an argument, and now Lila’s latching onto that as an advantage?
After a minute of searching, Alya flipped her phone around for them to see her screen, and the picture displayed on it made Marinette’s stomach drop.
“Woah, is that Adrien Agreste?”
The group, aside from Felix, leaned forward to see the picture better, but Marinette found herself leaning back, the blood draining from her features. That was a picture of her and Adrien at the café last Friday, but- but how did- when could they have possibly-
“Where did you get that?” She blurted out before she could stop herself.
Alya fixed her with a smug grin. “Look familiar? Lila took this while you and Adrien were having lunch last week. I’d been wondering why he was asking her so many questions about her stories, but now it all makes sense. You’ve been secretly coaxing him to your side again, and poor Adrien couldn’t resist. Even when I called him about the picture, he said he just wanted to be your friend again. I guess he always did see the best in everyone, though.”
Marinette felt sick to her stomach. How long was Lila with them in that café and Marinette didn’t even know it? How much did she overhear as Marinette blabbered on and on to Adrien about her current life? Did she know about Marinette attending Rosemary? Did she tell Alya about her attending Rosemary? How many people did she send that picture to?
She clutched for Felix’s hand on her shoulder, suddenly not trusting herself to stand, and he quickly put his other hand on top of hers. The comfort of his touch was appreciated, but not enough.
A burst of laughter cut into Marinette’s panic, and she turned to Claude who was all but rolling on the grass. He clutched his sides as he howled and even went as far as to wipe tears from his eyes.
“Wait a minute, wait a minute..” the brunette wheezed. “So you’re telling me, that Adrien Agreste, the fashion icon and heart throb of Paris, was in your class, but Marinette only started acting out after the foreign exchange student showed up? No offense to you, Mari, but I’m pretty sure a rich, young model would have been way more popular. How come she didn’t sabotage him?”
Alya faltered for a moment, not quite expecting the question and certainly not the laughter. “W-Well- I mean- she did have a major crush on him. Maybe she didn’t care that he was more popular than her because she liked him so much.”
Marinette felt her cheeks heat up out of embarrassment, but thankfully, no one touched on that subject. Instead, Allegra hummed and said, “Okay, fine. Assuming that’s true, what made Lila so popular?”
“Plenty of things.” Alya stated matter-of-factly. “She’s helped Prince Ali organize several charities, made petitions to save endangered animal preserves, is best friends with Ladybug-”
Marinette didn’t resist her eye roll.
“-and even saved Jagged stone’s kitten!”
Marinette glanced at Claude, who immediately deadpanned a “what”. She knew that if anyone was going to pick up the last line, it would be him.
“Jagged Stone never owned a kitten.” Claude said. “He’s allergic.”
“It was before he knew he was allergic.”
“He’s still never owned a kitten!” Claude exclaimed with a flail of his arms. “He’s only ever owned a crocodile! That’s been said in multiple interviews!”
“But-”
“And if we want to bring up charities, Prince Ali doesn’t organize any charities. He only donates to them.” Allegra pointed out.
“I-”
“And petitions to protect endangered animal preserves?” Allan echoed. “Those don’t need protection. They are set in stone by law.”
“I’m sure-”
“Look, you’ve clearly been given false information.” Claude said, crossing his arms, “and because you were dumb enough to believe the real attention-seeker, you’ve lost an amazing friend. Now I suggest you leave us alone before I report you to the authorities for harassment.”
Alya’s face twisted with rage. “Harrass- you know what? Whatever.
I’ve done my part. Don’t say I didn’t warn you when she starts ruining your life out of jealousy.”
Marinette caught a glimpse of Claude clenching his fists, and Allan put a hand on the brunette’s shoulder to steady him.
“We won’t. Have a nice day.”
Alya huffed and stormed off, dragging Nino with her. He glanced over his shoulder to give Marinette an apologetic look, but she didn’t meet his gaze. Instead she crossed her arms over her chest and blew out a sigh. That.. could have gone worse.. she supposed.
“Marinette.”
Marinette’s fingers dug into her skin, and she hesitantly looked up at Felix. His hand had loosened on her shoulder, and he was staring at her with an unreadable expression. What was he thinking right now? Was he angry? Disappointed? Confused about why she didn’t tell him about her lunch date with Adrien? She wished he would give her a clue of some kind.
“Are you alright?” He asked softly. “You’re shaking.”
Marinette blinked, pulling her hands away from her body. She was shaking? How did she not notice?
“Oh, and you look so pale!” Allegra cried, wrapping her arms around Marinette’s shoulders. “Should we take you home?”
Marinette grabbed Allegra’s arm and forced a small smile as she shook her head. “No, no, I’m.. I..”
She wanted to say that she was fine, that they could continue having lunch as usual, but a lump in her throat made it hard to get the words out. Next thing she knew, tears were spilling down her cheeks, and she was putting her hand over her mouth to choke down a sob.
All this time.. All this time she’d been keeping her past a secret from them, scared that they might take Lila’s side like everyone else, yet here they were, holding her close and offering her hushed condolences. They were giving her the very support she’d been afraid of losing, and now she was ashamed that she’d ever been afraid at all.
“I’m so sorry!” She nearly sobbed.
Allegra pulled her closer. “No, don’t say that! There’s nothing you need to be apologizing for!”
Claude and Allan rushed to wrap their arms around her as well, and Felix slid his hand down to rub her back. This, of course, only made her cry harder, because they were being so gentle with her, so kind. How could she have ever doubted them?
“Why don’t we go back to the house?” Claude suggested gently. “Mom and Dad won’t be back yet so we can give you a minute to recover.”
“And Felix makes the best honeysuckle tea.” Allegra adds. “It’ll cure any pain those idiots caused.”
Marinette sniffed and gave a little nod. People were starting to stare at them anyway, and at this point, she’d lost her appetite.
“Thank you.”
“Of course, whatever you need.” Allegra said as she led Marinette back to the car.
Marinette took the handkerchief Felix offered her and dried some of her tears, then gave him a small, grateful smile. He hadn’t spoken much during the altercation, but the way he quietly hovered around her and held her hand when she needed it said enough, especially since she knew he didn’t appreciate being touched.
It’s funny. Whenever she used to think about them finding out about Lila- because, surely, it would have to happen eventually -she always assumed she would feel anxious or paranoid afterwards. “What if they didn’t believe her? What if they constantly doubted her actions now? What if she constantly doubted their actions? Would they ever be able to trust each other fully again?” But as she got into the limo and sat down, and everyone crowded around her to show their love and support over the awful things Lila had said, all Marinette felt was safe.
~~~~~~
Felix leaned his back against the peppered countertop and crossed his arms, his finger tapping against his bicep with impatience. The iron tea kettle sat on the stove next to him, slowly heating and steeping the honeysuckle tea that he’d been requested to make. Usually, it took no time at all for the kettle to whistle, but today, it felt like he’d been standing there for an eternity.
He glanced at the digital clock on the microwave to see how long he’d been waiting, and the numbers 12:45 blinked across it.
12:45pm.. That meant he’d been in the kitchen for about..
Two minutes.
Felix sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his gaze sliding to the kitchen doorway. Marinette was sitting in the living room with the others just outside of it, with her and Allegra on one three-cushioned-couch, and Claude and Allan on the other one across from them. She seemed to be having a decent time, chatting and laughing with everyone, but that didn’t ease Felix’s mind any, not after what he saw in the park.
He’ll admit to being curious when the fight first started. Rosemary is known for its hair-pulling, arm-biting brawls, but they’re also known to remain dignified despite them. For example, the brawls are almost always private, which is why, when someone called out to Marinette in such a harsh and open manner, Felix couldn’t help being intrigued.
When he saw how Marinette reacted, however, his stance on the situation dramatically changed.
In the month and a half that he’s known her, Marinette has faced down high-class celebrities, an overwhelming amount of clothing requests from Claude, and an actual akuma, and not once has Felix seen her so much as flinch. Not until today, that is, when that red-head somehow shook her to her core. Just the sight of her sent Marinette into hysterics, crying, shaking, her face becoming white as a sheet- he’s quite certain she almost hyperventilated at some point too. This strong girl that he’d grown to admire, that he was starting to believe could face anything unscathed, had crumbled to pieces in mere seconds, and it honestly frightened him. He wasn’t sure what to do or how to help. So he simply grabbed her shoulder, hoping she would understand what he was trying to say- that he was there for her, and was she alright?
She understood him, thankfully, and her shoulders started to loosen a bit under his gaze.
But then that red-head started talking.
She spat out the most ridiculous accusations Felix had ever heard, accusations stating that Marinette was a liar and a fake, that she only ever did things for attention. Even if the part about wanting attention was true- which it wasn’t -why would it matter? She does incredible things simply because people ask her to. Why shouldn’t she get any attention for it?
As annoying as the last claim was, though, it wasn’t nearly as infuriating as the rest of the things that girl said. She told them she was Marinette’s former best friend, yet she cast the ravenette aside at the drop of a hat simply because an exchange student with a rusted silver tongue told her to do so. Honestly, who would be dumb enough to believe that some foreign student was best friends with one of the Parisian superheroes? Or that a highschooler actually got to organize charity events? The most she would be able to do at her age was greet people as they walked inside.
Felix wasn’t even going to think about the Jagged Stone claim, since Claude already made it quite clear that that was another lie, but really, who goes into a new school spreading the most impossibly grand lies they can? More importantly, how did those lies manage to stick? Was everyone at Dupont a complete moron?
No.. No, that wasn’t it. No one was that stupid, surely. They all probably wanted to believe Lila. That’s why they pounced on Marinette the way they did. They were looking for an excuse to go after her the entire time.
Felix clenched his fist and turned to the kettle again, watching the steam rise from the spout. It’s no wonder she became so worried when saw Adrien Agreste at Rosemary. After her crush on him and the lies, Felix wouldn’t want to see his former classmates either.
...Speaking of Agreste, what was that picture about? Felix doubted Marinette was trying to ‘persuade him to her side’ as that red-head had said, but her reaction to it was extremely strong nonetheless. Why were they in a café together? It sounded like she met up with him only last week, but she’d told Felix a couple weeks ago that she didn’t want to see him. Why would she put herself through that? And why did she grip his hand so hard when she saw the picture?
The shrill whistle of the tea kettle broke into his thoughts, and Felix jumped to move it off of the burner. Once it was set aside properly, he turned the stove off and began setting out the mugs to fill them. They weren’t as delicate or pristine as the tea sets his father owned, but they would do nicely for the time being. Besides, if Marinette had a one-of-a-kind glass teacup, she might fret about breaking it instead of enjoying the tea.
Felix filled the mugs and put them on a tray, along with some sugars, milk, and honey, then picked up the tray to bring it into the living room. A round of delighted cheers filled the room as he entered, and Claude eagerly bounced up from the couch to grab his mug. Felix moved the tray out of his reach, though, not wanting to offset the balance and spill everything.
“Sorry it took so long.” Felix said as he set the tray on the table. “The tea is fresh so I brought in ice cubes to cool it off if you want them. If not, make sure to blow on it before drinking or you’ll burn your tongue.”
“Yeah, yeah, we know the drill.” Claude remarked as he reached for his mug again.
Felix rolled his eyes. “That was for Marinette’s benefit, not yours.”
“I’m sure Mari knows how to drink hot tea.” Claude retorted.
“But I appreciate the advice anyway.” Marinette spoke up with a smile.
Felix glanced at her as he handed her a pink mug, trying not to look at the puffed up red spots under her eyes. Her tears had long since disappeared, but the remnants of them still remained, including the trails on her cheeks that the tears had run down.
“You’re going to love this, Marinette.” Allegra chirped, thankfully taking the girl’s focus. “This tea literally tastes like honey. I doubt you’ll even need any sugar!”
“Yeah, but I’m gonna.” Claude smirked, already shoveling a spoonful of sugar into his tea. “Unsweet tea was never my style.”
“I swear you are gonna die from diabetes one day.” Allan muttered while taking a sip of his tea.
“And it will totally be worth it.” Claude replied.
Marinette and the others laughed, which helped Felix relax a tad as he sat next to Allan. If Marinette was laughing again, maybe that meant she was feeling better.
The ravenette’s lips hovered over the mug for a solid minute as she blew on the pale, celadon liquid, and when she finally decided to take a drink, Felix found himself staring. Did she like it? Was it too strong? Should he go make something else for her?
“Oh, this is amazing!” Marinette gasped, her eyes lighting up.
Felix smiled, relieved. “I’m glad you think so. I like to add a few drops of honey and a sprinkle of sugar every now and then because it brings out the flavor, but that’s just a personal preference.”
“The tea is incredible already, but I’ll try your style anyway.” She said, reaching for the sugar. Claude pushed it towards her, while Allegra gave her the honey, and once Marinette dumped the extra ingredients into her mug, she took a spoon from a tray to stir them.
She took another sip of the tea, and this time, she sank into the couch with a contented sigh.
“Wow. That is so good, especially with how warm it is! I feel like I’ve just been wrapped up in the most comfortable blanket ever.”
The trio shared a laugh, and Marinette sat up with another giggle herself, but to Felix’s disappointment, the smiles didn’t last.
Marinette set her mug on her lap and let out a sigh, a bashful smile replacing her giddy one. She kept her gaze on her cup as she said, “So, I guess… I should explain myself?”
The group exchanged glances, and Allegra frowned.
“What’s there to explain?” Allan was the first to ask.
Marinette looked up. “Well- Y-You know.. The reasons why Alya was so angry with me. How everything happened at my old school.”
“Again, what’s there to explain?” Claude said. “It’s obvious what happened. This ‘Lila’ person spread rumors about you around the school, and for some reason, your classmates were dumb enough to believe it. End of story.”
For once, Felix agreed with him.
“.. Not quite.” Marinette admitted, causing Felix to furrow his eyebrows. How much more to the story could there possibly be? Don’t tell him it got worse.
“I’d like to tell my side of the story, if you guys don’t mind.”
Allegra offered her a reassuring smile. “Of course not, but you don’t have to tell us anything if you don’t want to.”
“Yeah.” Allan agreed. “Your word is all we need.”
A grateful smile caught the corners of Marinette’s lips. “Thank you, but I want to do this. I’ll feel a lot better once you guys know the full truth.”
“Then we’re all ears.” Felix said, sincerely.
Marinette’s smile widened slightly as she glanced at him, but her expression fell serious again when she began her story.
“It started almost two years ago. The September before last, a girl named Lila joined our school- er -my old school, Dupont. She came in telling all of these different stories about meeting celebrities and arranging charity events or music concerts and being ‘best friends’ with Ladybug.”
The sheer disgust in her voice when she mentioned being best friends with Ladybug made Felix smirk, but he let her continue.
“With stories as crazy as that, I couldn’t believe that my fr- uh.. That my classmates were actually believing her. In one day, she had them following her around like dogs and carrying her stuff because she claimed to have hurt her wrist in an accident. I forget which excuse she used, but it ticked me off to no end. So I tried to tell everyone that she was lying.”
“It.. didn’t end well, unfortunately. She turned into an akuma and went on a rampage, and after Ladybug and Chat Noir fixed everything, she only gained more sympathy from everybody. That’s when the stories about me started.”
“Every time I tried to expose her, she would make up some elaborate lie that made me the bad guy, and everyone swallowed it hook, line, and sinker. I tried to tell the teachers about what was happening, and some of them helped keep us separated during class time. But other than that, I was kind of just.. left to handle it by myself.”
Felix held back a scoff. Typical. Teachers never bothered entering student squabbles if they thought it wasn’t law-suit worthy.
“Of course, since the teachers weren’t doing anything, the lies only got worse, and soon, Lila started lying about me unprovoked. She would say I stole her things or ripped up her homework or tripped her down the stairs. I almost got expelled over it twice.”
“Wait, seriously?” Claude said before Felix could actually scoff. “So you told the teacher that this ‘Lila’ was spreading lies around the school, but they still tried to expel you over the things she said?”
Marinette nodded. “They would have to if she hadn’t come back and made up some lies about having been mistaken. I’m still not sure why she did that.”
Felix shook his head, absolutely incredulous to what he was hearing. It appeared the students weren’t the only morons in that school. How has it stayed funded for this long?
“Maybe it was a power play.” Allan muttered with a frown. “She sounds like the type of person who would do that.”
Marinette shrugged. “Yeah, I guess she is.”
“Didn’t anyone believe you?” Allegra asked.
A wince overcame the ravenette’s features, and Felix reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t wait to hear what she had to say about that question.
“Yes, someone did,” Marinette admitted, “but he wasn’t very helpful, to be honest. Actually, he tried to get me to stop going against Lila in case she got akumatized again. His reasoning was that her lies would eventually be found out on their own, but.. as you know.. They never were.”
Claude scoffed and put a hand to his chest, seeming to be offended by the very notion. “Are you for real? He just wanted you to let it go?”
“Did he even say anything while you were in the process of being expelled?” Allan asked.
Marinette’s face said plenty, but she answered aloud anyway. “No, not that I know of. He never liked getting in the middle of confrontations.”
Now it was Felix’s turn to scoff. He tipped his drink up to his lips, downing half the mug to avoid interrupting her story further. Felix scoffed, taking a sip of his tea to avoid interrupting her story further. Did no one want to stand up for Marinette? Did no one in that forsaken school have any sense of loyalty or gratitude? That dumb redhead at the park even admitted that Marinette had done numerous things for them as favors. How can they look at themselves in the mirror each morning when they treat people so horribly?
“So what happened after you almost got expelled?” Allegra prompted.
“Well, if you’re asking me what changed, then nothing, really.” Marinette replied. “Lila continued to lie, and I continued to take the fall for it, except now people were actually doing things to me. Before, they only talked about me behind my back or glared at me from the front, but after another one of Lila’s crying fits, they started ripping up my homework, stealing my things. I guess they thought they were playing the act of karma when they did it.”
“And I assume that guy who believed you stayed quiet the whole time?” Claude asked bitterly.
Marinette shrugged. “Basically. He tried to speak up on my behalf a few times, but he was always shut down too fast for it to matter.”
“Eventually, it got so bad that everyone started tripping me too, or running into me on purpose in the hallway. The last straw was when someone tripped down the front steps of the school, and I almost stumbled into a passing car. I was lucky I didn’t get hit.”
Felix’s grip tightened on his cup, and he thanked whatever was watching over her that day while simultaneously cursing the idiots she’d been forced to interact with. Did they even realize what they were doing? Or did they simply not care about almost murdering another classmate?
“Oh my gosh.” Allegra gasped, putting a hand to her mouth.
“That’s insane.” Allan said.
“Were they even sorry?!” Claude demanded, outraged. “Did they even look ashamed when you almost got hit?”
Marinette took another drink of her tea and shook her head. “No. My Maman tried to talk to the school about it, but since nothing actually happened besides me getting pushed, they could only offer her detention slips or suspension.”
She paused to look up at Felix, surprising him.
“That’s why I decided to transfer to Rosemary.” She said, and in that moment, it felt as though everything she had ever told him clicked into place. The reason the akuma attacks all seemed minor to her, why she never mentioned her old school, her becoming pale when Agreste first came around to Rosemary- it all made sense now, like he’d taken a million separate puzzle pieces and connected them to form a single picture.
Felix thought he would be pleased, that he would feel triumphant upon solving this brain teaser known as Marinette, but he didn’t feel pleased at all. Instead he felt.. Sympathy. And fury. This girl was not some puzzle for him to mess around with. She was a person, a friend, his friend, and to hear her be treated in such a way made his blood boil.
“We’re glad you did.” Allegra commented.
“Yeah, you’re clearly much better off here.” Claude agreed. “Those jerks don’t know what they lost.”
“So you guys aren’t.. Ya know.. mad at me or anything?”
“Mad at you?” Allan frowned. “Why would we be mad at you?”
“Well,” Marinette thumbed her mug for a moment, “I did kind of keep this a secret from all of you on purpose. I just didn’t want to drag my old problems to my new school. That and.. I didn’t want to risk you not believing me.. I’m sorry I didn’t have more faith in you guys.”
“You don’t have to be sorry.” Allegra said. “You went through something terrible. We don’t blame you for not wanting to bring it up again.”
“Besides, you transferred schools to escape from the rumors, right?” It only makes sense that you wouldn’t tell us about them when you got here.” Allan pointed out.
Felix nodded in agreement, and Marinette let out a sigh of relief.
“That’s good to hear. Thanks for hearing me out.”
“Of course.” Claude smiled. “You’re our friend, Marinette. A few dumb rumors would never drive us away. If it did, we wouldn’t even be friends with each other by now.”
Marinette gave him a curious look. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, we’ve all been lied about at some point.” The brunette stated nonchalantly. “I mean, we go to Rosemary, a school filled to the brim with rich, talented, and extremely spoiled kids who have nothing better to do than gossip about each other. I get accused of cheating at least once a semester. Allegra had rumors about her bribing the dance teacher when she was chosen for a leading role one year, and Felix has been rumored to actually not be rich at all.”
Felix rolled his eyes, but an incredulous laugh left Marinette’s lips.
“What?”
Allan snorted. “Oh, that one was pretty funny. Some people still think he actually lives in the school.”
“Seriously? Why?”
“Cause he wouldn’t invite people over to his house.” Allegra said with a wry smile. “And he practically wears the same outfit everyday.
Marinette hummed, looking Felix up and down. “They make a good point.. Felix, is there something you’d like to confess to?”
Felix gave a playful scoff, and the group laughed at his reaction.
“See?” Claude asked. “Your rumors were definitely worse than ours, but we’re not inexperienced. People will always try to bring you down in the lamest way possible.”
Marinette chuckled. “Yeah.. I guess they will. Thanks, guys.”
“Anytime.” Allegra smiled, pulling Marinette into a small hug.
“We’re always here for you.” Allan added sincerely.
Marinette smiled as well. “I know.”
“And if any of those jerks come around you again, you just let us know,” Claude said, punching his fist into his palm, “especially if it’s that guy who tried to tell you to ‘ignore’ Lila.”
A nervous laugh came from Marinette, and she reached up to mess with her pigtails as she said, “I appreciate that.”
Felix, satisfied with how the conversation ended, tilted his cup up to his lips, only to realize it was empty. He pulled his cup down and scanned the table, noting that Allegra and Claude’s cups were empty as well.
“Why don’t I get us some more tea?” He offered, moving to grab the tray.
“Oh!” Marinette perked up, quickly downing the rest of her tea in one gulp. “I’ll come too.”
Felix blinked. “Uh.. that’s not necessary. I can carry it all in one sitting. If you’d rather sit-”
“No, it’s alright.” She said, standing up to take Claude’s cup from him. “I want to stretch my legs anyway.”
The trio exchanged glances again, but Felix was too busy eyeing Marinette to notice. ‘Stretch her legs’? She’s only been sitting for- what? Thirty minutes? Forty-five? How restless could her legs be?
“We’ll wait in here.” Allegra remarked, referring to herself and the other boys.
Felix nodded and picked up the tray, not bothering to argue with Marinette. If she wanted to walk with him into the kitchen, she certainly had the right to do so. And who knows? Maybe she wanted a moment to herself and didn’t know how to tell them.
They strode into the kitchen together, and Felix set the tray on the counter while Marinette handed him her mugs.
“Thank you for helping me. You know you didn’t need to.” He said as he refilled the mugs.
“I know,” Marinette said, leaning against the counter while she waited, “but I actually wanted to speak with you privately, so this works for me.”
Felix raised a questioning eyebrow at her. She wanted to speak with him privately?
“What did you need?”
Marinette glanced up at him, then seemed to think better of it as her gaze flicked back down to the ground. “I wanted to apologize to you too.. You remember last week when you asked me if something was wrong and I told you I didn’t want to talk about it? Well, the reason I was upset was because Adrien came to the bakery that day and begged me to speak with him. I didn’t really feel comfortable with it, but I felt guilty not giving him a second chance when he seemed so sorry about how he’d acted with Lila. So I agreed to have lunch with him after the Valentine’s Day party, which was where I ran off to while you guys were cleaning up. I guess Lila took a picture of us there, and I didn’t realize it..”
Felix frowned. Her reasons for visiting Agreste again were troubling to hear, but..
“Why do you need to apologize to me?”
Marinette’s gaze snapped to his again, her eyes wide with surprise. “Because I didn’t tell you. I knew after everything you’d heard about him that you wouldn’t want me going to see him, but instead of hearing your opinion, I just didn’t say anything. I should have talked to you about it. Maybe then Lila wouldn’t have found me and taken the picture..”
Felix stared at her for a moment, astounded by her logic. She thought she had to ask him before going to see Adrien? Sure, Felix would have advised against it immediately, but that didn’t mean she had to ask his permission.
“Marinette, you don’t owe me anything.” He told her. “Your life is your life. If you want to go have lunch with Adrien Agreste, that’s your decision. And while I would have advised against it, I still would have supported your decision nonetheless. I am your friend, not your boss or guardian. Do you understand?”
Marinette nodded, a grateful smile crossing her lips. He was happy to see it.
“More importantly, you don’t owe Agreste anything either. Just because he finally wisened up to his mistakes doesn’t mean you have to give him a second chance, especially if you don’t feel comfortable doing so.”
Felix paused, thinking over what he’d just said.
“Although, I am curious.. What did he apologize for? He wasn’t one of the people who assaulted you, was he?”
“Oh, no, no.” Marinette hastily answered. “He, uhm.. He was actually the one who didn’t believe Lila.”
Felix tensed, using all of his self-discipline to avoid screaming ‘Are you kidding me?!’. Because really, out of all the people that had to convince Marinette to let Lila go, why did it have to be him? Actually, now that he thought about it, of course it was him! Who else would Marinette have been willing to listen to? Who else would have had the gall, the audacity, to act as though enabling a spoiled brat was some noble sacrifice? Wow, that guy just managed to keep climbing up the ranks on Felix’s ‘most hated’ list, didn’t he?
“I see.” Felix managed to mumble. “Are you going to tell the others?”
Marinette bit her lip, which was most likely a ‘no’.
“Not yet-” bingo “-I don’t want him getting a bad reputation. He did apologize, after all.”
Felix drew in a deep breath, letting the frustration towards that answer melt out of him. This was Marinette’s decision. She has trusted him with it, and he is going to respect it, no matter how much he hates it. That’s why he simply heaved a heavy sigh and put a hand on her shoulder as he said, “Marinette, you are truly too kind for this world.”
A blush bloomed across her cheeks, and she let out a small laugh. “O-Oh.. thanks.”
Felix turned back to the tray and picked it up, offering her a polite smile as he did. He didn’t agree with her method of handling things, but he did trust her to know what she was doing. Marinette was Marinette, after all, and she was much more capable than he was in most areas. If she thought this was the best way to go, he wouldn’t dispute it.
“So,” he began as he gestured for her to start moving towards the living room, “if I just put sugar in Claude’s mug instead of tea, do you think he would know the difference?”
Marinette snorted. “Oh~, that’s a tough one. Maybe we should test it to find out.”
“Alright, but you have to give him the cup. If I do, he’ll assume I’ve poisoned it.”
Marinette giggled and walked into the living room, and Felix followed behind her with a smile. He knew he couldn’t march up to the Agreste mansion and rip Adrien apart like he preferred- he probably couldn’t get any revenge on him whatsoever -but Felix would be darned if he just let this go the way Marinette wanted him to. Actions such as this needed to be punished, not forgiven and forgotten because of some half-hearted apology. If she wanted to toss the whole ordeal over her shoulder, that was fine, but Felix was going to hold a grudge against Dupont that was strong enough for the both of them.
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(Devotion: Alright guys! We’ve talked about the message of God’s wonderful salvation- which you should totally go back and read if you haven’t accepted Christ as your savior. It’s extremely important. -we’ve talked about how the Bible says people will react to the word of God, which has been proven to be true time and again; We have talked about Hell and why it exists; and in the last message, we talked about God’s compassion and faithfulness to His people. The last devotion wasn’t exactly in line with the others as far as the salvation theme, but today’s devotion will be! We’re going to talk about Jesus Christ and what exactly He went through on the cross to become the perfect sacrifice for our sins. This one’s probably going to be a bit long, and it is going to be gruesome. So what I’m going to do is bolden the main points of what He went through, then I’m going to describe them in detail. That way, people who can’t stomach gore or painful descriptions can still see a semblance of what He did, and people who can stomach it will get to understand the full extent of which Jesus loves us. Alright? Everyone got it? Great! Let’s get going then!
We start in the garden of Gethsemane. Jesus comes here only a few hours or less before He is arrested to be tried for crucifixion. He knows He is about to be arrested; He knows that this is the only way to save us from our sins, but that doesn’t stop Him from crying out to God and begging Him for a last way out. He says, “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt”, and the Bible says that He was under so much stress during this prayer, He actually began sweating drops of blood. Blood! More so, the Bible also tells us that Jesus had to have an actual angel fly down and keep His heart from rupturing, lest He die prematurely. That means that Jesus was so stressed He almost died before He could even be crucified! Jesus was scared! He was terrified of going through with what God was asking of Him, and wouldn’t we all be! Nobody likes pain, and Jesus was about to go through one of the greatest pains we could ever face. Not only that, there were going to be a few other add-ons to the physical pain He was about to receive.
See, Jesus is supposed to be the perfect lamb, the perfect sacrifice to atone for all of our sins, but to do that, Jesus not only needs to be punished for the sins we have committed, He also has to become the thing He’s being punished for. You cannot punish something that is innocent. It would be unjust. Jesus is aware of this, and that’s another reason He’s as stressed as He is in this moment of prayer. Although Jesus is manifested in human form at the moment, He is still very much God and part of the Holy Trinity, and as such, He still hates sin with a burning passion. He is disgusted by the very thought of it, the very idea. So imagine His dismay when He figures out that He has to become sin! That it has to be woven and meshed into His entire being! That would be like, for me, looking at all of the disgusting food water that’s in the sink before doing dishes and having to bathe myself in it without soap. (even bathing in it with soap would be bad, but you know) And for you guys! Think of the most disgusting thing on earth and then imagine being drench in it! Having it smeared on your skin and shoved in your mouth and caked all over your body- That’s what becoming our sin was going to be like for Jesus, and He hated every bit of it!...
But He loved us. So He went on with it anyway, the pain of crucifixion and the atrocity of becoming all of the sins of the world at once.
As soon as He was done with prayer, Judas- one of the former twelve disciples -betrayed Jesus and handed Him over to the chief priests as well as a crowd of people and soldiers. Jesus went willingly with them and did not fight. In fact, when Peter- another one of the twelve -leapt forward to protect Him by cutting off one of the High Priest’s ears, Jesus actually rebuked him and proceeded to put the High Priest’s ear back on his head. He was healing one of the very people who were about to kill Him! And the disciples were so confused and so panicked by this mob and Jesus’ “strange” behavior, that they all fled. Every single one of them. (This was done to fulfill scripture, so we shouldn’t judge them too harshly, but it is extremely sad for Jesus’ case.)
So the High Priests take Jesus away to Caiaphas, another High priest, and they put Him on trial. The High Priests and Elders tried to put false witnesses up on the stand, but none of their stories were adding up. They couldn’t share the same details that the other was, and almost no two stories were the same. Therefore, the High Priests got frustrated and started taunting Jesus directly, saying, “Answerest thou nothing? What is it which these witness against thee?” But Jesus refused to say anything. He just sat there, silent. This angered the High Priest, so he finally just yelled at Him- or at least, I imagine he yelled -and said, “I adjure thee by the name of the living God, that thou tell us whether thou be the Christ, the Son of God.” And here, we have one of the instances that Jesus openly admits, plain and blunt, that He is the Christ. He tells the High Priest that He is the Son of God, and that after this, He will be sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of Heaven.
The High Priest rents his clothes (which means to tear them. It used to be a sign of grieving) and says that Jesus has committed blasphemy, and unfortunately, the rest of the council agree and sentence Him to death. This is where the beginning of the crucifixion process begins. They still had to get a governor’s approval for the death sentence, but that didn’t stop them from taking Jesus and blindfolding Him and beating him while He was blindfolded. They would laugh and spit in His face during this and taunt Him, saying “Prophesy unto us, though Christ, who is he that smote thee?” It was an incredibly humiliating experience for our Lord to go through, but it was about to get much much worse.
The next morning, they take Jesus to Pontius Pilate, a governor, and demand that Jesus be crucified. Pilate, I would assume, reviews the case, because we see him ask Jesus if He is the King of the Jews a few verses later. Jesus simply answers with a “thou sayest” then refuses to speak again for the rest of the time. Despite that, though, Pilate knew the people were only delivering Jesus there because they were jealous of Him. So he gave the angry mob a choice: “Whom will ye that I release unto you? Barabbas, or Jesus which is called Christ?”
so understand this choice, it is important to know that there was a certain feast going on at that time, and at the feast, Pontius likes to release a prisoner of the people’s choice. Barabbas was a current prisoner, known for being a murderer and a thief, and I’m sure Pilate was hoping that by presenting a very unjust man compared to Jesus for release, the people would concede and choose Jesus to release. That’s not what happened, though. The people were so angry and so swayed by the High Priest’s influence that they decided to let the thief and murderer loose, as opposed to a completely innocent man. Pontius Pilate is flabbergasted and asks them, “What shall I do then with Jesus which is called Christ?”
The response was.. unanimous.
“Let him be crucified.”
“Why? What evil hath he done?” Pilate persisted, but the people only cried out louder for Jesus to be crucified. So Pilate, seeing that he couldn’t change their minds, washed his hands in a bowl of water and said, “I am innocent of the blood of this just person: see ye to it.”
Thus, Jesus was sent off to be Scourged, the first part of the crucifixion process. Scourging is a devious, calculated type of torture that uses a cat of nine tails to rip the flesh off of its victims. A cat of nine tails is basically a leather handle that has nine different whips attached to the same end, and on the end of those whips were hooks created from shattered glass or twisted metal or any other kind of sharp thing you can think of. The romans would throw the whip across their victim’s skin, and the jagged pieces laced into the whip would latch onto the skin. Then, the Romans would yank across the whip, causing the jagged pieces to tear through the flesh. The pain that would come from that is excruciating, and during this scourging, Jesus was stripped of his garments and whipped with a cat of nine tails thirty nine times. To put that in perspective, it takes 40 times of being whipped with that thing to be killed. This means that Jesus was whipped to the point of near death. His skin is in tatters. There is blood all over his skin. His teeth have probably cracked from having to grit them so much, and Jesus is in pain. He’s in so much pain already.
But it’s not over yet.
The next thing the Romans decide to do is place a purple garment around him, and weave a crowd of thorns together. These aren’t just regular thorns, either. These thorns are about two inches long and pointed, and by the time the Romans got a thick circle of thorns together, I’d imagine you could hardly hold it in your hands without getting hurt. They took those thorns and pushed all 70 or so of them into Jesus’ skull. THEN they grabbed a rod and beat the thorns into His head!! The thorns punctured Jesus’ head so deeply, that the thorns actually touched his skull, curved from hitting it, then poked back out of His skin somewhere else. The way the Romans put this crown on His head, Jesus physically couldn’t take it off. And after all of that, the Romans bowed down in front of Jesus and mocked Him again, saying, “Hail! King of the Jews!” and beat Him with their bare hands, even though they had already whipped Him to the point of near death.
Pilate took Jesus to the Jews and again begged them to reconsider and let Jesus go, but the Jews refused to do so. They screamed for Jesus’ death all the more, so Pilate reluctantly gave it to them. This leads us to the beginning of the end, when they make Jesus carry His own cross. Part of the crucifixion was having the crucified carry their own cross to Golgotha, or Skull. It was kind of like an extra burden and humiliation attempt, and it worked well. Think of it like a murderer being forced to make his own death shot and give it to the nurses who were going to insert it in him. Jesus had to walk through the city, or at least on some sort of road, where crowds of people were lined up on both sides, all of them cheering for His death, and He had to do this while He could barely stand up straight. The Bible tells us that, because of His injuries, Jesus actually didn’t get to carry His cross all the way to Golgotha. He collapsed somewhere along the way, and a man named Simon had to help Him carry it the rest of the way, but sadly, they did get it there.
Once Jesus and the cross were on the mount, the Romans laid the cross down, laid Jesus on the cross, and used these huge nails to nail Jesus’ hands and feet to the cross. This was done through careful puncture wounds between the wrist bones and foot bones. It kept Jesus in place, while aggravating his nerves to make his feet and hands go crazy with pain. The Romans then raised the cross up for all to see, and for the next six hours Jesus hung on that cross. Something to note about this is that Jesus’ cross was not smooth. It had splinters and jagged edges all over the place, and the way the nails were pierced into His feet and hands caused Him caused His lungs to push heavily on His diaphragm. Because of this, breathing became a bit of a problem. His lungs could take in air, but He couldn’t breathe out. To do that, He would have to pull up on the nails in His wrists and push up on the nails in His feet and exhale. Pushing up, though, would cause Him to push His scraped, slashed, and bruised back against the splinters or possibly even into them. And let me remind you: He hung on that cross for six hours. Six. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you would do a lot of breathing in six hours.
And yet, despite all of that pain and suffering, the worst was still yet to come.
Jesus said seven different phrases while on the cross. Seven times He pulled Himself up on the cross, enduring extreme forms of agony, to speak with us. Would you like to know the first thing He said?
“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”
Jesus asked God to have mercy on us and forgive us. We’ve rejected Him and cursed His name time and time again, we’ve insisted on turning to Him with malice and hatred, and now we’ve put Him through some of the worst, most excruciating pain imaginable.. But He asked God to forgive us anyway. This, Jesus’ incredible love and mercy and grace towards us, is the baseline of Christianity. His love is what keeps this world turning on its very axis, and it’s why we have no qualms shouting His name to the rooftops. His name deserves to be shouted and praised after all of the things He went through just to allow us to be with Him and talk with Him.
The second phrase He said was to a thief who was hanging on the cross with Him. In the Bible, we are told that Jesus wasn’t the only one being crucified that night. Two thieves were also being crucified along with Him, and they were placed on the mount to His left and to His right. The thief on the right was spitting on Him and mocking Him as well, but the thief on the left rebuked the first thief, saying, “Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss.” And the second thief turned to Jesus and added, “Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.”
This is when Jesus speaks the second time, as He, I imagine, turns to the thief as best He can to reply, “Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.” This conversation right here is a wonderful example of salvation and how simple it truly is. This thief was dying. He’d lived a bad life full of mischief and wickedness, and he had no way of making that right. But because he believed that Jesus was the Son of God, he was still able to go to Heaven. Salvation isn’t about works or what we can try to give back to Christ (although, we should try to give back to Christ as much as we can after being saved), it’s about the free gift that Jesus gave us. Heaven and Salvation is a gift. All we have to do is accept it.
The third phrase Jesus says is to John, one of the disciples, and Mary, Jesus’ mother. The Bible says that Jesus sees them before He speaks, so I imagine they are near the cross and weeping. Again, He drags Himself up on the splintered cross, draws in a pain-staking breath, and utters, “Women, behold thy son!” to Mary, and to John He says, “Behold thy mother!”. So He was making sure that His mother was going to be taken care of before He passed away.
Around this time, as Jesus was hanging on the cross, the earth fell into total darkness. I’m talking the sky was black. And as soon as this happened, Jesus cried out into the sky, saying his fourth comment on the cross.
“Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” or “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”
This.. is where we see the second add-on that made Jesus so terribly stressed during His prayer in the garden of Gethsemane. He is taking on the sins of the world. One can only imagine how many sins that would be, and in this moment, Jesus is taking every single one of them and forcing them into a single person, a single place to look upon. There was so much sin in Jesus at the very hour, that God had to do what He’s never done before in history and turn His back on a human being.
There are times when God’s grace leaves us, when His mercy runs out and we are instead faced with His judgement, but despite that judgement, God is still present in our lives and in the world around us. No matter how alone we’ve felt in the world, God has always been there next to us without us knowing. But not here. Here, God is actively turning His back on Jesus. He is completely forsaking Jesus because of the amount of sin that has poured into Jesus’ heart and soul as part of the sacrifice. That absence of God is something we are never going to know (unless you don’t get saved and go to hell, I suppose) but I can only imagine how empty it must be. How crushingly lonely it must feel, to know that now, Jesus truly is all alone in this world. The very God, the other part of Himself, that He’s been with since the beginning is now just.. Gone. That, I believe, was the worst part of this entire crucifixion for Jesus. He can face the physical pain; He can face the disgustingness of sin; He can face the humiliation of being God but also being mocked and treated like a life form lower than dirt because He knew He wasn’t facing any of that alone. He knew God was right by His side.
But now He wasn’t.
And Jesus was still there on the cross.
We see in the Bible that the darkness lasted for a full three hours, meaning Jesus has to go at least three more hours without God’s presence and comfort and light. In these last few hours, though, Jesus says three more phrases. His fifth phrase is, “I thirst.”
Another part of the Roman crucifixion costume was to get a sponge and soak it in vinegar mixed with gall. The combination created an extremely bitter taste that would supposedly distract the crucified from their pain every now and then, if only for a moment. So when Jesus said, “I thirst”, the Romans quickly got a sponge or even a cup ready and gave Him a sip of it. After He drank the cup, Jesus cried with a loud voice and said His final two phrases. Now in Luke and John, the last phrase that Jesus says is different when compared to each other, but the phrases are both so unique that I believe Jesus said both of them, one right after the other, and John and Luke simply wrote down different halves. So I’m going to write the last two phrases together.
“Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit. It is finished.”
After this phrase, Jesus gives up the ghost, or in other words, allowed Himself to die. This is another crucial point of Christianity because it shows Jesus’ power over life and death itself. He isn’t killed by blood loss or exhaustion or by a heart attack or anything like that. He simply dies because He wanted to at that moment. I think that’s kind of comforting actually. A God as powerful and loving as Jesus, who can control His own life and death as well as everyone else’s and was willing to give up His own life for us when we didn’t deserve it or even ask, is a God I most definitely want to serve.
Unfortunately, though, death was not quite the end of Jesus’ sacrifice. Not many people know this (or, at least, I didn’t know it for a long while), but after Jesus’ death, He went to hell for three straight days. Yes, you read that correctly. Actual Hell. If He’s going to take our punishment, He needs to take all of it, right? So don’t think God is just dishing out the punishments, but not taking any for Himself. He doesn’t need any, because He is a holy and perfect God, but He took some anyway so we didn’t have to, because He is also loving and merciful.
Hell was, thankfully, the last step of the sacrifice. After that, Jesus completed the ritual of becoming our free ticket to salvation by raising Himself from the dead! Have you ever heard of anyone who could raise themselves? I haven’t! And on top of that, the Bible says that Jesus’ resurrection was so powerful, that several other people around him were raised from the dead too! Just because He raised himself! Isn’t that crazy?
This is why rejecting Christ is such a big deal to God, and why people who claim there are other ways to Heaven are extremely blasphemous, because if there were any other possible way to Heaven, do you honestly think that God would have sent His only, begotten Son to die on the cross for us? Do you think God wanted to come down to suffer through all of this pain just to say “yeah, actually, you can also get in this other way”? No, of course not. Rejecting Christ’s sacrifice and salvation is basically telling Him that all of that pain and suffering didn’t matter, the same as spitting on Him like the other Jews as He hung on the cross.
He’s made the pathway to Heaven unbelievably simple. All we have to do is admit that we’re sinners, admit that we need saving from our sins, and accept Jesus Christ to be our savior by believing that He was the Son of God and that He died on the cross for us. If I was sure about anything in life, it is this. God is real. Heaven is real. Hell is real. Jesus is real, and He, along with God the Father and the Holy Spirit, is calling to you now. He is giving you another chance to accept Him as your savior before it’s too late. This could possibly even be your last chance. So please don’t put it off.
I love you guys very much and really really appreciate the people who have continued reading this. I’ll be praying for all of you to receive what I’ve told you, and for those who already have, I’ll be praying for you to keep growing in the Lord. Stay strong in the faith my friends! Keep telling the world about Jesus! He’s always right beside us! <3
Also, Here’s a link for a youtube video about Jesus’ death from a medical point of view. It’s a bit more detailed than I was, so please go watch it as well! https://youtu.be/0B3kgiLxybYOn that note, here’s a link I found recently that gives a bunch of videos and written materials from the author of “Cold Case Christianity”. He was someone who used to be an atheist until he started studying the four gospels with his skill of eye-witness-account-scrutiny. After studying the Bible for a few months, He realized that the Bible is, in fact, telling the truth, and ever since then he’s been racing to let the rest of the world know. Please check him out! www.coldcasechristianity.com/resources)
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hi soda!! idk who ms darling is, please tell me abt her! also ignore that i just unfollowed u by accident while trying to hit the ask button ahaha
omg i do that all the time <33
ok ok ms darling (full name gemini rosemary darling) is my new fallout oc :3 shes a prewar ghoul (was about 35 when the bombs fell) who just recently moved to diamond city!! she is originally from southeastern california, emerging partially ghoulified from a small family bunker under her house about 5 years after the bombs fell. she eventually made her way to the hub, where she settled down and started scavving for materials to make clothes and armor - utilizing her knowledge of different textile, fur, and leather products from before the war when she worked as a tailor to craft armor and outfits for people. she definitely struggled, however, as her ghoulification progressed more and more and people started to avoid her and her shop more often. in late 2189 the caravans taking her customers, increasing ncr presence, anti-ghoul sentiments, and a desire for a fresh start all drove ms darling to close up shop and travel east. she spent a while traveling, staying in towns for a few weeks at most and wandering all around looking for a place to make home. she also took this time to transition, having wanted to live as a girl for years but always being too scared to make that change in a place where people had known her before. she didn't settle down again for quite a while, since she was adamant about avoiding another ncr-allied area. in 2190 she wound up in the mojave desert, and settled down in primm - once again starting up a clothing business. she stayed there for a while, enjoying the independency, low damage from the war, and new unique materials to work with, until 2274 when the ncr's army arrived in the mojave and signed a treaty with mr. house. at first she didnt want to let the ncr push her out of another home, but when the legion began arriving in the area she packed up and left. she traveled north at first, wanting to head east without passing through too much legion territory, and after about 9 months wound up in DC. although previously disliking the brotherhood, she sort of approved of the DC chapter since they seemed more concerned with protecting people than hoarding technology. she wound up in the underworld, liking the idea of an all-ghoul settlement, and began working with tulip at underworld outfitters. she became friends with carol and greta as well, and enjoyed her life there. she got #depressed after a while, though, hating hiding away in such a small little area instead of being able to live outside and actually interact with the world. so in 2287 she said goodbye to her friends and made her way up to the commonwealth, initially settling in goodneighbor -although that was short-lived, since she disliked the crime and general dark cramped feeling of the place. she moved up to the slog (in maras canon she put work into turning it into a small trading center so its not really just a small farm anymore) and had a nice time there learning farming skills and setting up another clothing shop. about two years later word came up from diamond city that the ghoul ban had been lifted by the city council, and her and a small group of other slog ghouls made their way there. gemini becomes fast friends with becky fallon, being hired by her to help make/fix clothing for fallon's basement - as well as teach her a few pre-war tricks to the trade. ms darling also befriends mara, a frequent customer of fallon's basement, and through her meets the rest of the gang (including nick who she eventually starts dating) and i would love to go into more detail but ive literally been spending hours writing this and i have to leave for my friends jazz band concert thing in like 10 minutes so i should cut it short here sorry lol if u have more questions please feel free to ask!!
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I really said fuck classes who needs notes anyway (i do I have 5 tests in the next two weeks)
before I post my live blog here, I feel like people really underestimate how bad rumors are and how much they fuck with your mental health. they don't lose sleep over them, they don't think twice. but these things are harmful as fuck. they leave wounds that take so long to recover from because you keep on thinking about these lies who to others are "just words"
I've been there. it's not fun. I wish I had the courage back then to stand up to those rumors which I have now. these things never leave you. others might move on but the healing process is a journey that is long and hard. I wish more people understood just what effect their words can have.
Yeah, he knew a thing or two about family members going overboard with glitter.
IT'S RAFAEL CENTRIC GHSYGUJDUYDFUIKFDUIDFIUDF
TAVVY
TAVVY
TAVVY
DCSUIHDCSUIDUYUDICUIVSDUIHFVSUILFBUHKIFSV
I feel like I keyboard smash A LOT
“You will never drink even if you are not riding the bike,” Dad had pointed out – all Consul Voice and threatening glares. “The legal age for drinking in New York is 21.”
“But it’s 15 in Idris!”
“Well unfortunately for you, we are in Exile,” dad had grinned.
DAD ALEC UHIKSFDUIHKSGUIKSDVUIHKDVUHIKSVD
Max had a habit of ‘borrowing’ things and selling them on eBay. In his brother’s defense, Bapak had so many clothes that he never noticed when things disappeared. But Rafael did since he had a habit of wearing his father’s clothes.
The warlock – not the shadowhunter.
He wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those sweaters.
Now that Rafael was 18, he was almost as tall as his father.
The shadowhunter – not the warlock.
I AM SCREAMING
I love how he's clarifying which one he's talking about
“Do you know I used to have a crush on Lily Chen?” Tavvy blushed. “But then I found out she made out with Helen once and it kinda got weird.”
Ah yes. I remember. Does Rafael know that Alec also walked in on them?
ARCHITECT TAVVY
SDHDVUHDFSV,YDSFVUYVSFFUSVFUVFS
SHADOWUNTERS ATTENDING MUNDANE COLLEGES
“Dude, college kids don’t give a shit,” Tavvy laughed. “You could walk into a lecture covered in runes, holding a seraph blade and they wouldn’t give you a second look.”
“Cause they are chill?”
“Yes. But mostly cause they are dead inside,” Tavvy chuckled.
Surprisingly that's exactly what my grade 6 prefect told me (DAMN WHY AM I ALWAYS REMEMBERING GRADE 6 IT'S BEEN YEARS. that was a horrible year *shudders*)
ANJALI IS A CENTURION
LMAO THIS IS WHAT RAFAEL MEANT WHEN HE SAID HE WOULDNT WANT TO GO TO THE SCHOLOMANCE FOR PERSONAL REASONS
I still ship them.
“The meeting is going to go perfe-What is SHE doing here?”
Well, that was a quick change-
Unlike Aunt Maia, Lily did not like to be called Aunt Lily. So, Rafael respected her wishes. Max of course continued to call her Aunt Lily and sometimes Abeula Lily since his brother had a pathological condition of pissing people off.
THAT'S SO MAX OMG JHSXUHSCUHISDHUHUKIDVS
great now I miss Raphael
I HAVE A CLASS IN 7 MINUTES STOP MAKING ME CRY
that is so thoughtful of him though...
tears.
“There are no photos of Raphael,” Lily sighed.
“Because he is a vampire?” Tavvy asked sympathetically.
“Because he is Raphael,” she grinned. “Vampires can most certainly take photos. You should follow me on Instagram. My handle is simp_for_carstairs.”
Of course, it is. No one is surprised.
Tavvy picked one up, took a large bite and it threw it back immediately. “Holy shit, that’s spicy!”
“White,” Lily and Anjali snorted at the same time.
white people and their bland foods smh
“She is not wrong,” Lily nodded seriously. “I’m a Jem Carstairs fan first and a vampire second.”
As she should be
UHDSUHDFSUHFDH ANJALI AND RAFAEL COMPETING ABOUT WHO'S LILY'S FAVORITE
He observed Anjali’s long dark hair spilled over her shoulders as her eyes stayed on Lily – sharp, protective and beautiful.
"Beautiful"
I AM NOT LETTING THIS GO
I'm THE DAMN CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP
FUCKING RUMORS
I'm GONNA KILL SOMEONE
“Shadowhunters are awful gossips,” Anjali said. “Let’s not waste our time with this nonsense.”
There was something in her voice. Something he couldn’t put his finger on.
No, wait I want to know what was in her voice.
But no. It couldn’t be. They weren’t dating.
YET
Rafael was sure there was something more than friendship between them. But David was polite to a fault and Max was an oblivious little shit. So, obviously nothing had happened yet.
OH MY GOD THESE TWO
But this was different. He would tolerate rumours about himself. But he would not tolerate rumours about his family.
I and Rafael will beat up the people who spread these rumors together :D
“She once told me she likes sipping tea more than drinking blood.
I-
same.
NOT THAT I DRINK BLOOD-
RAFAEL LMAO NO
"I hate her she's so annoying"
continues to daydream about her and how tall she'd be without those boots, lies to tavvy about her dating someone
Why did he do that? What was the purpose? Did he not want other people to date just because he wasn’t dating anyone?
And he calls Max oblivious.
oh class started
shit
IDC IDC I'LL STILL BE READING
LEXI AND SELENA ARE AT THE ACADEMY
JACE HYPER FIXATING ON THINGS BECAUSE HE'S BORED IS SUCH A MOOD
“David and I added rosemary to this one,” Uncle Jace wiped his hands on his apron. “It has definitely improved the taste, hasn’t it?”
“Save me,” David mouthed from behind the man.
LMAO POOR DAVID
“Empty nest syndrome,” Rafael chuckled. “I’m glad neither Max nor I had to leave home. My fathers are much worse.”
He remembered his first sleepover at the institute. His parents had waited for “an excruciating hour” before crashing the institute and joining the sleepover themselves.
yup, that's them.
“David,” Rafael grinned. “Are you afraid of my father?”
“What? No! He is the just a regular person…who can throw me in the silent city any time he wants,” David rambled and then shook his head. “Where is Max?”
He tried to sound nonchalant. But Rafael noted the way the other boy’s eyes fluttered every time he said Max’s name.
Just the way a crooked smile appeared on his brother’s lips every time someone said David’s name.
Idiots
ok, there is so much to unpack here.
DAVID HAS A VALID REASON OK??
These two are such IDIOTS HUSDUHISCUIDSVCUIHVSDUHI
“Max said Bapak is biased, and that he needs an unbiased tutor. Uncle Ragnor volunteered,” Rafael chuckled. “God bless the poor man.”
“Max isn’t that bad,” David replied.
“Looks like you’re biased too, David,” Rafael winked and picked up a spare bow from the training room.
of course, he is.
G-FORCE KJHSDCUISDYUKDFSUYKDSVYUSFD
oh shit
oh shit
WHO DID WHAT THIS TIME
what's the rumor and who do I need to kill
He didn’t know her well. But she knew a lot about him. Just as she knew a lot about the twins. She was one of those people who was oddly invested in his life just because Rafael happened to the Consul’s son.
what is her problem?
what the fuck
I need a minute
I need a minute to digest that
I'm so glad I closed my camera in class
what the actual fuck did she just say
tell me I'm hallucinating
times like these I wish I was Jared 19
no, because I'm actually speechless right now
Paige and Irene need therapy
OH SHE WENT THERE
“Paige, that’s enough!” the Dean snapped at her. “How dare you talk to him that way? You talk about warlock corruption but where all of you when Valentine exploited Jace and Clary? Where was this moral obligation when Valentine lied to his children and played with their feelings as if they were nothing but toys to be controlled and manipulated? I’m sick of shadowhunters victim blaming children instead of holding people like Valentine accountable.”
THANK YOU
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK SIMON
I feel like we all focus so much on the "incest" and hate on clace we forget that this part of the story was literally an abuser seeing that the victim was recovering and took the only thing which made him happy from him
I can't believe this
“Children have been suffering for a long time now, Paige,” Uncle Jace said now, his fists balled at his sides. “Where were you when Alec proposed the child protection bill? We didn’t see any of you supporting it.”
“We had other priorities,” the older woman replied. “People were dying! It was not the right time for a new law. We could have always signed that bill later. There was no rush!”
OTHER PRIORITIES MY ASS BITCH FUCK YOU
hey just realizing Rafael is the token straight
I'M SORRY IM TRYING TO DISTRACT ME
“The Cohort who made children kill themselves to prove a point?” Uncle Simon asked dryly. “That Cohort?”
I am so close to either crying or killing someone or both.
This was Max’s spot since it had the best Wi-Fi coverage.
yeah trust me I spend all the time in the guest room because it has the best wifi coverage or the study.
MAX IS SMOKING TOO
YOU FUCKING IDIOTS
oh wait
oh they might be alec's
yeah
For the next thirty minutes, Max paced around the room, threatening to portal all the shadowhunters to hell.
Then he went on about a plan to attack the cohort and portal them all to hell too.
He kept talking about portalling people to hell.
MAX YES LET'S DO IT!!!!
But here is the thing about people, they don’t get to you. You get to them.
They simply say something and leave. They probably don’t even mean the things they say or lose sleep over it. But it wasn’t the same for you. You obsess over it. You stay awake at night and let it consume your dreams.
YES! To others, it's just words. meaningless. to you, the effect can be so so deep. it's not easy to always brush them off.
NO MAGNUS
THAT'S IT
MAX AND I ARE PORTALLING PEOPLE TO HELL
WE'RE DOING IT
why do we hurt others?
my teacher: ill take a test on this chapter. all 20 units
me: softly crying because people are little shits and they hurt others.
“Fuck everyone else,” dad hissed. “They’ve hurt our family enough.”
EXACTLY. LEAVE THEM ALONE.
“I am simply being honest with you,” Dad interrupted. “I could never be okay when you are away from me. But I will manage. Max is going to raise hell though. So, that’s going to be fun.”
AS HE SHOULD
Neither Rafael nor Max would never admit it out loud, but on the day of that sleepover, on the day their parents had crashed the institute bcause they had missed the kids too much…Rafael and Max had been only a moment away from calling their parents to come pick them up.
He's right though.
it'll take time. lots of it maybe.
BUT THE ACTUAL AUDACITY.
It fucked with his mind so much.
Rafael...ALRIGHT WHERE ARE MY FLAMETHROWERS
“DAD! BAPA! WAKE UP! RAFE IS TRYING TO RUN AWAY!”
MAX REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF MY LITTLE BROTHER
He had forgotten about the bloody paperwork. Shadowhunters on their travel year had to notify the Clave and get their paperwork in order.
Well, it shouldn’t be a problem since the Clave was standing across the hall.
EXACTLY
Because it was killing him. It was killing him not to be lying on the couch, his head resting on his Bapak’s lap just like every other Saturday morning.
It was killing him not to touch, not to love, not to care.
GET MY FLAMETHROWERS AND CANNIBAL GOLDFISHES WE HAVE SOME WORK TO DO
(goddamn every class I have taken so far the teacher has told us there is a test coming up it's 9 am in the morning.)
His brother growled at that like the little feral animal that he was.
that's adorable actually.
“Fine,” Max rolled his eyes. “Does this mean I can also travel? There is a Twenty One Pilots concert in Sydney and-”
“Nice try,” Dad said. “But no. You are staying here.”
“Excuse me, but what about my healing?” Max demanded. “I’ve been traumatised by this thing.”
“You can go to therapy,” Rafael winked at this brother.
Therapy is boring but useful so-
He needed to survive this. So, he decided to go back to the place he had learned how to survive in the first place.
He needed to go back home.
UGLY CRYING WHILE TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND MY HISTORY CLASS IN 2 MINUTES
I'm so proud of him for this...
I still say we kill these people.
JOAQUIN AND JULIETTE
UHISDCUIHFSDUGUIDFVDSDVFJHGDFVHUKDVHUKVF
Camilla Alvarez.
well well.
OH THEY KISSED
“Right,” Rafael had said. “Gap year. Besides, I do talk them. My brother threatened to paint my room in hot pink if I don’t text him every day.”
hands max a pint of paint HAVE AT IT
Max: Also – New Rumour. Dalliance between Lily and Tavvy.
Rafe: OMFG WHAT
Max: They are running with it and freaking old n*philim out.
AS THEY SHOULD UFUHIFUIHFUIHKFU
THE CENSORED N*PHILIM I'M SCREAMING
“He is hot.”
He laughed out loud. “Yeah. I hear that a lot.”
“Your dad looks kinda scary,” she pointed out.
Rafael laughed again. “Yeah. I kinda hear that a lot too.”
I'm liking this ship...
I'M STILL LOYAL TO THE RAFAEL AND ANJALI SHIP
but I'm happy for him. I'm glad he's getting the space he needs
Dad: Jst found legal age fr drnkng in Buenos Aires is 18.
Rafe: ????
Dad: I hv friends thr.
Rafe: ???
Dad: Thy r watchn u.
Rafe: Creepy but okay.
HJSDCGUIHJGSDCYUICVXUHVUHKDV
THE BOY'S DRINKING Y'ALL
Do it
MILA IS GOING TO NY!!
I like her. she's nice.
He was leaving soon. He didn’t see the point in lying to her. “I ran away from home. Kind of.”
“Why?”
“I hurt someone I love,” Rafael confessed. “The person I love most in the world.”
honey, it wasn't your fault... hugs
Shit. Why wasn’t Bapak going to the accords signing? He had been there for every single one since the very first time.
no no no no is something wrong?? I'm worried.
“You look taller,” Rafael told his brother who hadn’t grown an inch.
LMAO
Max and I are vertically challenged.
“Rafe, go to talk to him. Or I will tell everyone you’ve been smoking in the balcony!”
So, he was going to pin this on him, huh? This little shit.
well-
“You’ve progressed from freaking to fucking,” he pointed out.
“That’s not the fucking point, Rafael!” Max said in exasperation.
“You did it again,” Rafe pinched Max’s cheek. “My little brother is all grown up now. Linguistically I mean.”
“Dick."
I CAN'T WITH THESE TWO
When he had gone back to Buenos Aires, the place was completely different - even the shadow market.
There were no abandoned children in the streets. There were no racist and ignorant leaders exploiting innocent downworlders.
There was only growth.
His father had done that. Alec Lightwood had helped Joaquin and his people create a new world in Buenos Aires.
This shows how much people can flourish under good leadership if they really try.
YOU KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING THESE NOTES DOWN, NOT CRYING OVER THIS.
“I will protect our family. I will protect our friends. I will protect those who ask for my protection. But I will not tolerate their hate. I will not turn my head and pretend it doesn’t hurt. Because it does hurt and that’s not okay.”
Rafael smiled at that. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s not okay.”
“The accords is important. But so am I. There is no point in signing a treaty that is meant to value equality if I have to sign it while being surrounded by those who refuse to respect me or my identity. I simply cannot do it, Rafael. I hope you understand.”
I'm sobbing like YES YOU DONT OWE THEM SHIT. THESE UNGRATEFUL BITCHES.
“It’s taken me a while to realize this. But I don’t owe the nephilim anything,” Bapak said firmly. “It’s about time they realize that too.”
YES EXACTLY
“I’ve known shadowhunters for a long time, Rafael. Good ones. Bad ones. All kinds of them – and shadowhunters have always defined themselves by their love. Not by your weapons. Not by your runes. Not by your last names. Not by your laws. Shadowhunters have always defined themselves by love. So, don’t ever let them take that away from you.”
I want this on a T-shirt. These damn shadowhunters and their love.
“Like the Accords Hall kiss?” Rafael grinned.
“It’s the stupidest thing your father had ever done – which is really saying something,” his father laughed. “But it’s also the bravest thing I’ve ever seen him do. And that’s how I knew.”
affectionate sigh that's alec.
“Good. Max is sitting in the porch and singing All by Myself,” Tessa chuckled and closed the door. “Just thought you should know!!”
Rafael giggled at that. “He must have given you hell.”
“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Bapak shrugged, and Rafael raised an eyebrow. “Fine. I might have promised to buy him a car when he turns 18.”
“You’re hoping he would stop aging by then, aren’t you?” Rafael chuckled.
Max is so dramatic I aspire to be like him.
Blue banners when the lost return, the shadowhunter rhythm said.
Rafael had returned home – and he was no longer lost.
I'm ok I say as I cry during my history class
I'm so proud of him.
“Well, that needs to be rectified immediately,” Dad said in the Consul Voice and literally yelled. “I am about to kiss my son – on both cheeks! You better gossip about this too!”
“Oh my god, stop!” Rafael giggled and tried to escape.
“YAS!” he heard Uncle Jace yelled from somewhere. “GIVE US A FOREHEAD KISS TOO!”
THEY ARE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH.
THEM ADDING TO THE ACCORDS AS THEY SHOULD OMG
“The hell is hate speech?” someone asked.
Do you not have a dictionary you uncultured swine
“There is a very clear difference between free speech and hate speech,” Cristina Rosales pointed out. “The fact that you don’t seem to know that is all the more reason for us to include this provision.”
YES CRISTINA
“By the angel,” an old man gasped. “There is no need to be so emotional. The younger generation can be such snowflakes.”
What if I just strangles him
“Discriminatory language?” a woman demanded. “What does that even mean?”
“Calling vampires bloodsuckers,” Lily Chen answered.
“Calling warlocks demon spawns,” Ragnor Fell pointed out.
“Calling werewolves fleabags,” Maia Roberts declared.
“Calling faeries half-breeds,” Kieran Kingson all but yelled.
The fact that they have had to deal with this shit for YEARS. (also why Kingson? isn't Kieran the king?)
THE QUEEN HERSELF IS HERE Y'ALL
“Which one of you shitheads said hate speech is harmless?” Anjali demanded, her voice booming over everyone and everything else.
YES ANJALI
Anjali had a grin of her own. “While that might true, Paige, there is most certainly a law on child protection. You didn’t just hurt Magnus Bane. You also hurt his son. Section 7 of the Child Protection Bill states that any person who physically or emotionally injures a child through ill-treatment, neglect, abandonment or abuse is guilty of breaking the covenant.”
“Damn straight!” someone yelled from the crowd – it sounded suspiciously like Kit.
CALL THESE BITCHES OUT YES
“Rafael is not a child!” someone yelled again. A lot of them this time. “It’s still not illegal. The law doesn’t say so!”
“By the angel, for someone who is obsessed with the law you people seem to know nothing about it,” Anjali said in exasperation. “The child protection law defines a child as a person under 18 years OR younger. The incident happened when he was still 18. It’s illegal.”
YES ANJALI FUCK THESE PEOPLE
“I’m the Inquisitor’s daughter,” she said. “Next time, think twice before you quote the law at me.”
SHOW THEM, QUEEN
How did she know his birthday????
ahem
“So, if you do hurt him emotionally, you can still be implicated. You will face charges and you can possibly be stripped of your runes,” Anjali pointed out seriously. “Now I ask you again. Does anyone else have to say anything about him?”
There was absolute silence then.
“Didn’t fucking think so,” Anjali spat. “I literally had to mention the stripping of your marks for you to respect another person’s basic rights. If you give half the value you place on your precious runes to other people, we wouldn’t be in exile right now.”
The Cohort looked terrified – of Anjali or their future in the Clave, Rafael didn’t know.
“People are dying,” Anjali said, her voice heavy now. “Our people are fucking dying, and you seem to be more bothered with who is sleeping with whom. Shame on you. Shame on all of you!”
She turned to the Council. The Inquisitor looked like he was going to cry from pride. Rafael’s dad looked half terrified but mostly impressed. Lily was blowing kisses at Anjali. The other downworld leaders looked quite pleased.
Shadowhunters are so fucking bigoted and narrow-minded. I'm seething right now.
also, alec looking scared-
“THAT’S THE BEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!” Emma Carstairs yelled.
“Goddamn, I wish Magnus was here to see this,” Uncle Jace grinned. “That was satisfying as hell.”
“No worries, I recorded the whole thing!” Kit put up his hand.
YES YES AND YES
“Fuck the Cohort,” Rafael giggled.
“Actually, I would prefer you use the word screw,” his father pointed out. “Screw the Cohort!”
“Oh my god, Dad!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “I am allowed to swear once in a while.”
“No, you are not,” Dad said firmly – this man was so not ready to meet Max’s new persona. “As your friend pointed out, you are still a child.”
Alec seeing Max curse left and right: 👁️👄👁️
"She hates me!"
“Rafael, she stood up for you in front of the entire Clave. She fought the Cohort. It was incredibly brave. I wish she had spoken to me before without causing all the chaos. So, it was a little stupid of course. But still brave.”
Stupid but brave.
YESYESYESYES IT'S HAPPENING!!!
ANJALI WHO HURT YOU
WHO DARED TO
Names. Give me names NOW
Jaime no...please no not Jaime.
please please, please
ok, I searched it up. And he can get treatment. He can live. It doesn't have to be serious. please, Jaime...
“If you ever tell anyone you saw me crying, I will drag you to Idris and drown you in Lake Lyn.”
This is such an Anjali thing to say.
OOO MILLA (Mila?) MESSAGED!!! Is there gonna be some sort of love triangle here??
me who despises love triangles (aside from TID of course): ...
BUT SINCE IT'S YOU I'M SURE IT'LL BE AMAZING. I'm still nervous about this though...
UHCUHDVUKDVHUKVHUVHM I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO SO SO MUCH IT WAS A LITERAL ROLLERCOASTER AND ANJALI QUEEN I LOVE
see ya on Friday!!
OKAY I AM LOVING THIS ENERGY BUT PLEASE FOCUS ON YOUR CLASSES FJKSDFHJKSJFHKD I PROMISE THE STORY IS GOING TO BE HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK LOL.
But I am so glad you like it. Amidst all your screaming and chaos, I always find very perceptive and profound observations. It's fantastic! I love it so much!
Thank you for enjoying LBAF - and good luck with your tests!!!
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Haikyuu!!│Boys going grocery shopping w/ you! HC’s│Ft. Bokuto, Nishinoya, Terushima, Kuroo & Kunimi
I had this late night idea and just HAD to follow through, the chaos would be O F F T H E C H A R T S. Thank you to @deathcab4daddy for helping me brainstorm some good characters for this post lmao I love you bby and can’t wait to do a collab. <3
E N J O Y ~
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
BOKUTO:
WHEN I TELL YOU THIS BOI PICKS UP EVERYTHING IN SIGHT LIKE A 6 YEAR OLD
I FUCKING MEAN IT.
“(Y/N) we need this”
“Bokuto we do not need a 7th jar of peanut butter.”
“But (Y/N) it has a squirrel on the front-”
“BOKUTO I SWEAR TO GOD”
Tries to drift on the edge of the cart like something straight outta CSGO and the cart nearly obliterates under his weight.
V e r y l o u d u n e c c e s s a r i l y.
Everyone always stares at y’all when you’re going through the isles bc ur literally escorting a man-child sprawled in a shopping cart who’s going “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” at everything he sees like he’s a toddler at the zoo who’s never encountered a chimpanzee before.
Unless you have a bottomless bank account do NOT take him shopping of any kind he is LETHAL.
When you’re at the check-out he turns it into a basketball competition and tries to launch everything perfectly on to the conveyor belt.
Volleyball player? Nah this sis with the NBA now.
Do not ask him to go get something, he will return with at least 9 items you didn’t need and everything BUT the item you requested
He turned up with a whole ass pineapple, a jar of jam, a stick of butter and a bottle of olive oil.
Like,,,where is the correlation in those items???
Once made the mistake of asking him to grab some pads from the hygiene section and specified it HAD to be with wings
Boy showed up ten minutes later and looking very confuzzled.
You questioned why he has a pack of wingless pads in one hand and a can of red bull in the other.
He said it’s because they didn’t have any with wings so he figured the Redbull would suffice and do the job for you.
i-
NISHINOYA:
Can literally fit him in the little cart seat made for kids and he LOVES it lmaoooo IT’S SO CUTE MY HEART.
HE JUST SWINGS HIS LEGS EXCITABLY WHILE YOUR GETTING STUFF AAAAAAA
Ppl give you such weird looks though bc you have a guy who’s at least 14 years older than the intended demographic sitting there and raising his hands in elation over you copping a cookie dough pie and chucking it in.
Again, another who is VERY LOUD FOR NO REASON AT ALL.
Get’s out of the cart after a while bc his legs be growing numb and begins roaming around.
Someone came back with a feral Noya in hand stating “Is this your child” WNDKJWEFNWJEF.
M’AM HE’S LIKE 18 EXCUSE YOU.
Was salty about it for the rest of the day.
Just ruffle his hair and call him Senpai
Problem solved.
Picks up tons of exotic fruit that look more like plastic or fuzzy poisonous plants and begs you to get them.
“Noya what the fuck is that.”
“...a Pitaya.”
“...”
“Can we get it-”
“no.”
“(Y/N)-”
“I SAID NO DAMMIT”
Last time you bought some strange fruit he took it to practise and got Tanaka to spike it LMAOOO
IT SPLATTERED E V E R Y W H E R E
AND OVER DAICHI’S SHIRT.
He begged you to no longer allow Noya to purchase weird fruits from then on since he is like a child with a nerf gun.
He once picked up a phat wrinkly purple fruit and turned to you asking if it was an overgrown raisin.
“Noya sweetie that’s a Date.”
HE FULLY TSK’ED AND THREW IT BACK SINCE IT REMINDED HIM OF DATE TECH I CAN’T.
My boy out here defending Asahi even in the Grocery Isles.
We stan a loyal king.
TERUSHIMA:
Another one who tries to stand on the ledge and the cart wheels almost collapse because it wasn’t designed to hold the weight of a young adult.
Oh young adult??? Sorry I mean’t MAN CHILD.
He treats a shopping experience as a time to practise his aim apparently because he ALWAYS THROWS SHIT AT YOU TO THE POINT YOU’RE THREATENED TO BE KICKED OUT.
Definitely picks up phallic looking objects and places them against his crotch, snorting and saying “Like what you see (Y/N)?”
Homeboy is stood there in front of a wife and child presenting his cucumber appendage for the world to see.
He once grabbed a pair of fat ass melons and pressed them against his chest, shaking them and belting the lyrics to ‘My Milkshake’ while begging you to SQUEEZE HIS MELONS.
“Look (Y/N) they’re bigger than yours!”
I just-
I give up.
Constantly tries to sneak mutli-packs of energy drinks into the cart to the point you’re convinced he is going to keel over from heart failure and kidney stones by the age of 20.
Has his airpods in 90% of the time and treats the isles as his personal dance floor.
He busting them MOVES and performing the MJ moonwalk while in the dairy section.
ONCE HE SLID TOO FAST AND SLIPPED ON HIS REAR IN FRONT OF LIKE 12 PEOPLE LMAOO
He was DEAD silent the rest of the trip.
Probably the most serene shopping experience you’ve had to date.
The checkout clerks occasionally hit on Mr. Sore-Ass over here.
Until he opens his mouth and they realise he’s a total dolt and question how you have the patience for him.
You don’t know either honestly.
The whole bagging experience is spent with them shooting you sympathetic glances as if to say ‘sis you shoulda’ left him at home’.
Yes, yes you should have.
Never a dull moment with Teru as your shopping partner.
KUROO:
LITERALLY LIKE A MIDDLE-AGED MAN OR A TODDLER WHEN Y’ALL GO SHOPPING THERE IS NEVER AN EVEN MIDDLE-GROUND.
Frequently cracks lame-ass food puns or dad jokes that make you want to crawl into a hole and die.
You have competitions on who can come up with the most and the loser always faces a penalty.
Kuroo and creating penalties do NOT mix safely so you better hope you win.
“I love you a waffle lot.”
Proceeds to hold up a wrapped waffle.
Ok that one was kinda cute you’ll let it slide.
“I ap-peach-iate you Kuroo.”
Cue HyenaLaugh.mp3
“Want a pizza me baby? Bitch peas, doughnut take me lightly.”
You changed your mind.
You didn’t talk to him the duration of that shopping experience, no penalty could be as horrifying as what just came out of his mouth.
“(Y/N)... sometimes I feel like you don’t carrot all.”
You slapped him with said carrot and obviously had to pay for it after.
You forced him to eat it raw.
He is the definition of Neutral disaster when you go shopping.
Shitty food puns aside, he is actually very responsible when making sure you both get what you need.
Not without tons of poking, prodding, and blowing into your ear while you’re trying to decide what ingredients to buy for dinner.
You contemplated serving him a plate of bubbling snot and moulded broccoli seasoned with rosemary.
Bone apple teeth, bitch.
Ofc you didn’t because he always pulls out the puppy eyes and cuddles card after since he knows he’s well and truly rattled your patience lmao.
Actually picks really healthy food options?? Being the captain of a team he has the responsibility of keeping his health in top condition and leading by example so at least he knows the right ingredients to make a bomb-ass and nutritious meal ig.
Y’all always bicker and tease each other at the checkout which is usually great amusement for the clerk serving you as they often smirk and perceive you as an old married couple.
Which tbh you kinda are, it feels like it at least.
Still such a big asshole though lmao you never leave the store without your sanity being scathed.
KUNIMI:
Honestly just wanted an excuse to make jokes at the expense of the Aoba Johsai teammates.
and what better candidate for cracking these than Kunimi.
He’s a very chill partner to have tag along with you on your endeavours.
Not without some grumbling and groaning on his part though, lazy bitch.
You always finish shopping trips with a busted lung at how much you have been laughing though with some of the SHADY ASS REMARKS HE MAKES ABOUT THE OTHER TEAM MATES.
You were outside the store when you both spotted an angry looking Doberman tied to a nearby post.
“Smh who let Kyotani outside again.”
You hadn’t even set foot in the store yet and he was already spitting flaming insults.
[Walking up to the automatic double doors]
“Damn Oikawa move out of my way.”
Oikawa just tryna live and he keeps getting roasted for his flat cheeks
#StopOikawaAssShaming
Ten minutes of scouring the store later he picks up a spikey Kiwano and compares it to Iwaizumi’s hair.
Proceeds to beg you not to tell my boy Iwa because he KNOWS he will get decked to the gym floor.
Passers by often wonder why you’re wheezing and producing noises like a boiling kettle.
When I tell you no one is safe, I mean N O O N E.
“These Yule logs really out here looking like Matsukawa’s brows.”
The finisher was when Kunimi picked up a turnip and said
“Huh, kinda looks like Kindaichi.”
I just-
He could roast a whole chicken in minutes from the burn of these comments I stg.
You can now never look at the Seijou team without various foods or inanimate objects plaguing your thoughts.
Thanks, Kunimi.
#hq#haikyuu#kuroo tetsurō#nishinoya yuu#bokuto kotaro#terushima yūji#karasuno#johzenji#nekoma#fukurodani#haikyuu headcanons#hq headcanons#haikyuu x reader#aoba johsai#kunimi akira#seijou#seijoh
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Witchful Thinking│Han Jisung
Synopsis: All anyone wanted was to be loved. So what if you had to rely on a love potion to get that. How hard could it be?
Genre: Witch!Au, Clumsy!Witch Reader, fluff, comedy? Banter. mostly fluff, oneshot?
Word Count: 2k
Masterlist
You looked out the window, watching your neighboring coven by the river bank. Smiling, cheering, laughing. You envied their togetherness. And here you were being a recluse, as usual, stuck in your kitchen as you worked on a new potion. You’d been stuck on the love potion page for the better half of the week. You were trying to talk yourself into believing that you only wanted to make it because a witch should be well versed in all magic, and had nothing to do with the beautiful man, with the chubbiest cheeks and the brightest smile that entertained the coven..
Peaking back out the window you caught the tail end of his laugh. His whole chest would shake as he playfully hit Changbin. You were sure he was the most beautiful man that could ever exist. Everything about him was so perfect. His soft facial features, his honey voice, those supple lips.
He was perfection…
If only he could be yours…?
He looked toward your window, almost like he felt you staring at him and you practically threw yourself to hide from his gaze.
“Maybe just making the love potion can’t hurt…” you mumbled to yourself.
“Meow” your familiar chimed.
“Oh hush Hyunjin, it’s not like I’m gonna use it on him...that’s immoral.” you crossed your arms over your chest. “Right? It’s immoral.”
“MEOW!”
“Ok, ok I got it…” you huffed and looked around. “But just having it can’t hurt…”
“Meow”
“Hyunjin there’s really no need to be that sassy. I’ll make the potion right this time.” you rolled your eyes “One screw up and you never let me live it down.”
“Meow”
“Ok, so it was more than one. Leave me alone Hyunjin.” you pouted. “It’s not like I wanted that fire to happen. What are the chances of it happening again?”
It wasn’t that you were a bad witch...per se...It was just hard to read these old arcane spells. Half the time they were backward or involved ancient runes or just straight up in Latin. And it was damn difficult to find some of the ingredients these potions called for without hauling your ass to Jeju for the volcanic ash. And honestly who had the time for that?
You spent the day working on the love potion, stirring absently and adding each ingredient. “Hmmm...rose water…?” you looked around the kitchen and grabbed the vase of lilies and tossed the flowers and water into the pot. “Close enough” you raised a brow looking at the color. “I thought that this would be pinker…you know for a love potion” stroking your chin, you grabbed some gel food coloring from your cabinet and mixed a few drops in the potion. “There! Now it’s looking like a love potion” you beamed, mixing it. “Isn’t it pretty Hyunjin?” you glanced at your cat who was glaring at you. “What? Did you have a better idea?”
“Meow!”
You scoffed. “Ok, Mr. Smarty pants. I’m trying to make the potion right. I just want Jisung to love me…” you pouted looking at the potion and glancing back at your ingredients list. “You don’t know what it’s like to love someone and that person not love you back… You’re lucky you’re just a cat”
“Meow” he purred, brushing his head against your hand. You grinned scratching behind his ear. “At least I’ll always have you Hyunjin”
You finger scrolled down the textured page of the old spell book. “Hmmm, a stalk of smudging sage… aww, crap. I don’t have any more of that either. Hyunjin do you think rosemary is a good substitute for sage?” You could have sworn you heard a very audible groan from your cat. “O...k…oh- I have some rubbed sage seasoning I was gonna use for a pot roast that’ll be good enough. Oh! I should remember to buy more sage” you grabbed the pen that was stuck in your bun before jotting down sage on your arm, hoping that you remember to look at that while you're in the grocery store.
While stirring your potion all you could think about was Jisung. He was so strong, fiercely loyal and strangely kind. The first time you met him you were panicked since Hyunjin had gotten out and you hadn’t lived in the area very long. He spent hours helping you look for your cat. He’d even gotten some of his coven to help, telling you how much all of their familiars meant to them.
Originally you moved to the area because you heard that there were a few covens in the area. And although you were a coven less witch, it was nice to not be completely alone.
You were never truly alone, not when you had Hyunjin but when he got out you panicked.
You remembered it like it was yesterday. You were almost in hysterics, wandering the forest.
“Hyunjin! Hyunjin!” you cried out, the rain was starting to fall harder, and finding a black cat in the impossibly dark forest was starting to seem hopeless. “Hyunjin please!”
“Hey...Hey...calm down. We’re gonna find him. I promise.” Jisung grabbed your hand in an attempt to calm you. Looking back at it now, you could tell that he was even scared to be in the forest so late at night. But he was there for you. A complete stranger that he just happened upon. Rather it was the freezing rain or your anxieties he felt the need to protect you.
“You don’t understand-He’s all I have. I don’t have any family I only have-”
“I won’t let you be alone ok? I know you don’t know me...But family is everything to me, alright? We’re gonna find Hyunjin. But we need you to get your head right.”
For the first time in your life, you felt safe and reassured.
You fell so hard, so fast.
It may have been one-sided, it may have been a distant love.
But it was love.
Hearing the front door of your cabin open you turned around and blocked the pot with your body. “I’m not doing anything wrong!” you immediately called out.
“Oh that’s not suspicious” Jisung chuckled, quirking his brow and making his way over to you. “Why didn’t you join us at the river?” A smirk played on his lips. “I saw you watching me.”
“I-I wasn’t…” your voice got smaller as you cleared your voice nervously, from being caught.
“I didn’t want to get in the way...you guys were having fun.” you fiddled with your fingers, holding the ladle.
“We can have fun with you too ya know.” He looked over your shoulder seeing your feeble attempt to block him. “Love potion?” he read the page of your spellbook.
“It’s not what you think!” you frantically waved your hands. “I-”
“Oh? So that’s not for me?” he feigned offense.
“N-No..it’s not.” you pouted avoiding his gaze, tugging on your ring absently.
“You know you’re the worst liar right?” he gripped your waist and lifted you on the counter beside your spellbook.
“Why does it smell like chicken?” he shook his head, turning off the stove.
“Oh Crap...was this my soup pot?” you looked between the two pots you had on the stove. Was it a good idea to work on your chicken soup at the same time as your potion? probably not. Could you have possibly separated half your ingredients into each pot? The chances were higher than you wanted to admit. But as a young independent witch, you had to multi task. How else was dinner supposed to get made?
“Didn’t I tell you no more shortcuts on potions?” he grinned looking at your flustered face, his thumbs rubbing small circles on your sides. Your skin, shivering at his touch. It was so astounding how easily he turned you into mush with such a simple gesture.
“How do you know I took a shortcut?”
“Because the bouquet of lilies I got you are in the pot, and I can clearly see your spell called for rose water and not lilies soaked in water.” he chuckled, brushing his nose against yours, giving you that curte gummy smile. His eyes turning into that charming moon shape when he beamed.
“You sound like Hyunjin...” you rolled your eyes seeing your cat jump from the counter onto the table, before disappearing in the living room.
“Well he is pretty smart.” he chuckled and brushed his lips against yours. “What do you even need a love potion for?”
You wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers playing with the hair on his nape. Your lips in a perpetual pout. “I wanted you to love me…”
He sighed. “Oh my god-You’re literally my girlfriend!”
“But what if you get bored of me…” you pouted and huffed.
“You’re insane” he chuckled peppering kisses along your cheek to your neck. “I love you. I’ll never get bored of you.”
“But-”
He silenced you with a kiss, holding your face in his hands. His kiss not letting up until you gave in, responding to each movement of his lips. His teeth teasing your lower lip as his tongue flicked against the top of your mouth, enticing the smallest of whimpers.
You pulled away just slightly to catch your breath, your fingers running through his hair as your face warmed in a way only he could cause. “Jisung...” you looked at him through your lashes, trying to catch your breath.
“I’m not done” he smirked, biting on your lower lip, teasingly deepening the kiss again. He was relentless and insatiable. Loving at how desperately you gripped at his shirt, how your thighs, tightened around his waist. Knowing damn well that your stomach was coiling as his hands got a little bolder in their travels. He tugged your hair back just slightly, loving how you whined at the loss of his touch. Your face warm, mouth bruised, and lips panting his name.
It was such a breathtaking moment. From how the golden hour sun, shined through your window to how desperate you looked for him.
He pressed a kiss at the base of your throat.
He could never understand your insecurities. You were beautiful, passionate. Hopelessly, hopeful. Everything single thing you did made him fall harder for you. Like how you could never quite get your potions right but you never gave up, or how you just never had paper, so you’d scribble down any idea onto your arm. His favorite little habit was how you always played with your ring on your index finger when you lied.
He could spend a lifetime naming everything he loved about you.
“I’m yours. Do you get that?” He moved your hand over his heart. “Yours.” His forehead pressed against, so close that his breath became yours as he searched your eyes. “If you don’t believe me then just do some binding spell and bind me to you forever...” he grinned.
“Jisung... I can’t” you caressed his chest, moving your hands back up to his face. Cupping the softness of his cheeks as you heard his dazzling brown eyes. They practically sparkled at you.
“Yes. You can. If it’s my consent you want then it’s yours… It’s always yours... “ He placed a kiss on your ring finger. “If you just need my permission for you to keep loving me and to do whatever spell you want on me then it’s yours. You’re my happy ending.”
You laughed shaking your head. “Well first off I really can’t do a binding spell...because I literally don’t know how, and they’re really hard. Secondly...I wasn’t really planning on using the love potion...I just wanted it just in case you stopped loving me… I just want you to be mine…”
“I already am.” He smirked “If you’re gonna doubt me… Why don’t I just show you how much I love you?” he lifted you off the counter, carrying you into your bedroom. Your carefree laughs, being silenced by his greedy kisses.
End.
A little clumsy!WitchxHan au. I wrote this scenario a few years back for Riverdale lol but I decided to recycle it for Stray Kids since I loved it so much, I kinda want to expand on this universe if anybody was interested?
If you like it let me know :3 Feedback is always welcomed
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#stray kids#stray kids oneshot#stray kids scenario#stray kids oneshots#stray kids imagines#Han#han x reader#han jisung#han jisung scenarios#han jisung scenario#han jisung fanfic#han jisung fuff#jisung fluff#jisung scenario#jisung oneshot#jisung x reader#witch!Au#kpop scenario#kpop scenarios#skz scenarios#skz fluff#clumsy with au#witchful thinking#domi writes
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OK, last of the owed fics from the @aftgremix challenge - this one is for @nikothespoonklepto who guessed which fic was mine and wanted soft jeaneil. Hopefully I got the request somewhat right - this is a prequel to Qui N’avance Pas, Recule (mind the warnings for the fic, some brief, not too explicit non-con in the first section which you can probably skip, just know that Neil and Jean escape from the Nest where they’re Ravens).
Think the only warnings for this fic are that it has vague references for canon events at the Nest - nothing explicit, nothing detailed, just that Neil (Nat/Nathaniel here) and Jean are very happy to not be there anymore. That and references to Neil’s past in Baltimore.
*******
Trickle
*******
“It’s not much, but it’s safe,” Chesare told them as he placed the keys he’d used to enter the small apartment on the kitchen counter. “There’s enough food for a couple days, linens in the closet, and we guessed about the clothes based on the information your family sent.” That was directed to Nat, who stood there with a too-blank expression on his face and still dressed in the ‘borrowed’ sweatshirt he’d taken from Howard. “They’ll check in on you soon enough once it’s safe, so try to stay inside as much as possible.” While he spoke, the man (Hatford associate?) reached into his denim jacket for his wallet, out of which he took a very impressive stack of euros. “This neighborhood is safe, too, but no point in creating trouble, yes? Only go out when necessary.”
Nat gave a slight nod. “We understand. My family’s helped us out a lot, we’re not about to be ungrateful after everything they’ve done.”
“Good,” Chesare grunted. “Then I’m done here.” His tone was curt, but he gave them a friendly grin before he turned to leave; Jean followed so he could lock and bolt the door behind the man, relieved to be alone with Nat at last. The past day was a blur to him, a domino effect of events with each one more implausible than the last – the practice session where he and Nat bested Riko and Kevin, Riko showing up in their room at the Nest to exact his revenge, Nat defending Jean with such violence and Jean daring to strike down Riko for his partner, them fleeing the Nest, Nat’s family helping them to leave the States and sneaking them into Marseilles of all places….
Jean couldn’t believe that he was back in France, that he was home, even if he was a wanted fugitive from a criminal syndicate. He was home, and his partner was at his side.
Literally.
He jumped in surprise when he turned to find Nat gazing up at him, beautiful pale blue eyes surrounded by dark circles since the little imp hadn’t slept at all in at least a day, not since… it had to be at least a day, since they’d gotten up for practice back at the Nest. Jean rubbed his eyes as he tried to factor in the different time zones for a moment then gave up. “Yes?”
“Let’s check out the place,” Nat said, his voice faint with exhaustion yet his French perfect as always, just like his Japanese and German and the Russian he’d begun to learn in the last few months. It was one of the many things that Jean adored about his partner (lover), that gift with languages, just like Nat’s (Nathaniel’s) passion and loyalty.
He could have left Jean behind in the Nest, could have run to his family on his own, which would have been safer, yet he’d kept Jean at his side the entire time, had stayed awake while Jean had eventually crashed from the stress of… of everything, and hadn’t been upset when told that they weren’t going to London but Marseilles instead.
Nat didn’t seem to care that he wasn’t reuniting with his family as long as they didn’t try to separate him from Jean.
“It’s bigger than our old room,” Jean teased as they looked around the small, one bedroom apartment; it was in an older part of Marseilles, so there were hot water radiators for heat, worn wooden floors, and lots of windows (they had a corner unit, thankfully, and were six floors up) to help cool it in the warmer months.
“Almost anything would be bigger than our old room,” Nat shot back as he yanked off the oversized blue hoodie he’d worn since leaving Edgar Allan and dropped it to the floor. “Let’s hope that the shower is decent because all I want right now is to scrub myself clean then go to bed.”
Jean was in agreement with that; he wanted to wash away the remainder of the Nest from his body, of the States and all the bad things which had happened there (as if it would ever be that easy), and pray that when they woke up that they could begin a new life together.
A little more searching revealed the linens and clothes which Chesare had mentioned; Jean placed a clean set of sheets and a duvet on the queen-sized bed which took up a good bit of the bedroom while Nat grabbed some towels and clothes.
Nat then took care to set aside the phone which Cindrich had given him before they'd left the States, which Stuart had used a time or two to call him, but otherwise they shed the outfits they'd been wearing with the intent of getting rid of them for good before they stepped into the old claw-foot bathtub together. Jean felt a stab in his chest upon sight of the numerous scars littering his partner's lithe body, along with the bruises which Riko and Tetsuji had inflicted over the last few days - injuries which he swore to himself they'd never get a chance to do so again.
It took a minute or two for the water to warm, the pipes noisy the first few seconds, but Nat pressed against Jean's side and smiled, the expression tired but true, as they huddled together in a bathroom which was all their own, a bathroom with a locked door and a shower curtain and a tub in which they could soak if they wanted.
A bathroom and an apartment which was all their own, if Nat's family could be trusted.
(A family which had gotten them out of the States, had gotten them away from the Moriyamas - the monsters to which Jean's family had sold him without a care, so he'd wait and see about these Hatfords.)
As exhausted and stressed as he was, Nat actually laughed when Jean insisted on washing his hair, and joked that Jean just wanted to drown him in the water so he could have the entire bed to himself.
"Don't give me any ideas," Jean chided as he carefully tilted his partner's head back to rinse out the rosemary-scented shampoo. "Besides, an imp like you would just come back to haunt me."
"Hmm, so true." Nat closed his eyes and slumped a little more against him with a bone-deep weariness. "I'd return the favor, but I can't reach the head of a tall bastard like you, my star."
"Me? I'm perfect," Jean sneered, and felt his heart race when Nat smiled at the familiar joke.
They probably should eat something, but they were so tired after the shower that once dried they pulled on the clean sweatpants and t-shirts (Nat's comically large) and after finishing the bed (more Jean than Nat), all but collapsed onto it. Something settled inside of Jean when he could pull his partner against his chest and wrap his left arm around Nat's waist, while Nat clutched the sheathed knife that Cindrich had also given him in his hands. "Get some rest," Jean ordered, not that he believed Nat could remain awake much longer.
"So bossy," Nat murmured, already well on his way to unconsciousness.
Jean wasn't sure how long they'd slept, just that he felt better - was starving but felt better - when they were jolted awake by the ringing of a phone. It took him a moment to realize it was the one given to Nat, that it wasn't one of their 'official' Raven phones (that Tetsuji monitored and they’d left behind), and by then Nat had sat up so he could answer it.
"Hello?" He was quiet a moment then set the knife in his other hand aside. "Hi, Uncle Stuart," he said as he switched to English. "Yeah, but it's okay, I get the feeling we'll have lots of time to catch up on our rest in the next few days, right?" He smiled, the expression a bit wry, as he scooted back on the bed so he could lean against Jean. "And thank you," he offered as he hit the 'speaker' button so Jean could hear Stuart.
"Again, it's nothing, kiddo," Stuart’s voice was deep and rough as if he was a smoker. "It's long overdue, getting you out of that hellhole." There was a bit of anger in his tone as he referenced the Nest. "Is everything all right with the flat?"
"Uhm, yeah." Nat glanced back at Jean then shrugged. "The bed's wonderful, and everything seems nice. It's quiet." They really hadn't been there that long and had spent most of the time asleep, but they'd been left alone and that was all that mattered to Jean and he suspected to Nat as well.
"It's nothing fancy, but it's safe, you won't be touched while you're there," Stuart assured them, then cleared his throat. "Look, I wanted you to come here, and it's not like Will doesn't want you with the family, either. But we've already had Moriyama people all over the place looking for you, so he was right about if you come to London, it'll be trouble."
"That's fine, I don't want to cause the family any problems," Nat said in a rush, a hint of guilt on his lovely face. "It's enough that you got us out of the States. That's all we could ask, really."
"Bullshit," Stuart spat out, "you're family, it's the least that's owed. But it does look as if you're safer away from us right now, someplace those bastards won't expect you to be." He was quiet while Jean wrapped his arms around his smaller partner in a vain effort to keep him safe. "Also... you come here, I don't think you're going to be able to remain apart from the family, Abram. People are going to see us fighting for you and they're going to make assumptions."
Nat didn't say anything for a few seconds before he nodded once then spoke. "I understand."
"Just... think about what you want, okay? I'll be there in a couple of days and we'll figure things out. Until then, be careful and stay out of trouble."
"I will," Nat promised. "Be careful yourself."
He was quiet after he ended the call, until Jean gave him a slight hug; he tilted his head to look up and smile, then patted Jean's arms in a signal to 'let go'. Once Jean did that, he got off the bed, put the phone aside and went to the bathroom. After he came out, hands running through his hair and bangs which were slightly damp from when he'd washed his face, Jean entered the room so he could use it.
When finished, he found Nat searching through their kitchen, all of the cupboards left opened while his partner checked the drawers. "You French have no appreciation for a proper tea," Nat grumbled, an adorable frown on his face as he motioned to a box of black tea on the counter - a box of tea yet no kettle.
"At least there is black tea," Jean pointed out with a slight chuckle; he'd heard so many complaints about that over the last several years, while Nat 'suffered' with the green tea available to all Ravens.
"Oh, shut up," Nat muttered while he started a pot of coffee (of course there was coffee, Jean was smug to notice), then made do with boiling water in a pot. "I'll text Stuart about the tea."
"Hmm." Jean held up some eggs, to which Nat nodded; there was oatmeal in the cupboards, but they were starving so it would be best to go with something quick - eggs, some of the ham in the fridge, and toast.
It had been years since either of them had to cook, but they'd (more Jean than Nat) had experience from before they'd been sold off to the Moriyamas and it wasn't a complex meal. After a few minutes, they sat down at the tiny table in the kitchen with pleased grins on their faces to eat, Jean with his coffee and Nat with his tea, and it didn't take long after that before the food was gone.
It was... it was one of the best meals in Jean's life, at least that he could remember.
Once the plates were left to soak in the sink, they refilled their mugs and sat at the table to talk. "So, Marseilles," Nat said with a slight smile. "You must be happy."
"It feels like a dream," Jean admitted. "As if any moment now, I'll wake up and it'll be time to start our morning practice."
Nat grimaced as he held his mug between the palms of his hands as if to savor its warmth. "More like a nightmare. You know we can't ever be Ravens again, it would be better to stick our heads in that oven right now than to let that happen."
No, Riko would never forgive them for daring to fight back, let alone to run, while Tetsuji would never allow a slight to his authority. The only question would be, just how long would they suffer before the Moriyamas (most likely Tetsuji) would finally put them out of their misery? "I agree, so what now?"
It was quiet while Nat sipped his tea and considered the question. "Well, as far as I can figure, we stay here or we go to London and officially join the Hatford organization."
"But your uncle didn't seem pleased about that," Jean pointed out - Nat didn't seem happy about it. "Why is that, when he went through the trouble to bring us here?"
"Because... because my mother didn't want that life for me, as far as I could tell," Nat confessed in a faint voice as he gazed into his mug. "Or else she would have left my father after I was born." He glanced up and gave Jean a wan smile. "I heard her argue on the phone with my uncle about it, once. If she went back... well, she’d have to a Hartford again, we both would.”
“And being a Hartford means what?” Jean asked as he reached out to wrap his larger hands around Nat’s – everything about his partner was smaller, was finer-boned, yet Neil wasn’t made of anything breakable, wasn’t fragile. No, after being raised by the Butcher and sold to Tetsuji (after being handed over to Tetsuji’s psychotic nephew), he was… he was like one of those Japanese blades which hung in Tetsuji’s office back in the Nest – was something finely crafted out of iron until it was beyond worth. Nat (Nathaniel, a name which Jean knew he disliked because it was too like his father’s) used his fragile appearance to his advantage, to fool people with an improbable image until he tore them to pieces.
“And what about you?” Jean asked. “What do you want?” Because Nat often used that unbreakable will of his to protect him, to taunt Riko and bear the madman’s abuse so Jean didn’t suffer, had killed three people so Jean… Nat bore too much because of Jean, so whatever Nat wanted was important.
It was quiet while Nat nibbled on his full bottom lip, the lip which Jean adored kissing gently because of such abuse. “Uhm… I doubt it would be too bad, working for my uncles, but I want to stand on my own – on our own,” he said in a quiet voice. “If we join them, we’ll be tied to them forever. I’d rather avoid that if we can. I think that’s why my mom didn’t run to her brothers when she had the chance.”
“Then we find another way,” Jean agreed; after escaping one life of servitude, he was with Nat in that it would be foolish to throw away their newly found freedom so quickly.
Their future decided for the time being, they washed the dishes then spent more time exploring the apartment and rearranging things since it appeared that they would be staying for the immediate future. Jean threw out the clothes they'd worn yesterday, wanting to keep nothing from their time at Edgar Allan other than their shoes (they would need to go out and buy new ones) while Nat made up a shopping list. Once that was done, they turned on the small television and sat down to watch what was available, something they never were allowed to do at the Nest.
They avoided anything to do with sports in unspoken agreement, and scanned through the available channels with interest, only to stop when they reached a news channel. They watched since they were out in the 'world' again, a world which went beyond the walls of an Exy court and the gossip of the Class I division, and needed to be caught up as quickly as possible. They watched on with rapt attention until the banner at the bottom of the page announced that there had been an accident near the Edgar Allan campus which had cost the lives of several Exy team players, including two of the Perfect Court, and that Riko Moriyama had sustained injuries which would prevent him from participating in several upcoming games.
Jean changed the channel to one showing some asinine variety show after that, his fingers numb and a strange ache in his chest. "They've officially announced us as dead."
"It's not a surprise, Tetsuji probably doesn't want to explain to the main branch that we've run away. This way he can cover for Riko, as always," Nat spat with bitterness as he tugged at his bangs. "He probably hopes that he can track us down quickly and make the story real before Kengo figures out the truth."
"Which is why he's harassing the Hatfords." It really was for the best, them standing on their own, to avoid a fight between the two families.
"Yeah." A mulish expression came over Nat's pixyish face as he stared at the screen in front of them, yet there was a distant look in his pale blue eyes. "I think... I think it's best that we make ourselves valuable enough that it's more effort than it's worth for the Moriyamas to try to pry us out of here and that the Hatfords aren't continuously having to fight for us."
That... Jean shook his head as he got up for more coffee. "I'm not sure I'm following you. How do we do that? We're two kids, not two criminals." He thought about that for a moment as he regarded his partner, who sat there with a knife tucked beneath his left thigh, who had killed three people for him yesterday. "Nat... I'll do anything for you," he confessed as he held an empty mug in his hands, "but I'm confused right now."
The look his dear friend gave him was one of understanding instead of contempt. "I know, my star," Nat told him with overwhelming affection, the pet name making Jean's chest ache in the best of ways. "It's... I remember hearing my... hearing him complain one day." Judging from the amount of venom in Nat's tenor voice, he referred to his father, the Butcher, just then. "About a guy who crossed one of his people, but he wouldn't let Romero take him out - he needed someone who wasn't known to associate with him to handle things so the police couldn't trace it back to them." He gave Jean a lopsided smile. "That's what we need to be, the guys with no obvious ties to anyone who get things done."
For a moment, Jean wanted to say 'no', to ask why did Nat - crazy, impulsive Nat who never backed down even when he should, when it would spare him so much pain - think that they could be those people... and then he thought about the last few years. He thought about how they'd endured so much, had dealt with everything Riko and Tetsuji had dealt out, had commanded and carved into their skins, and wondered if there was anything out there in Marseilles which could be worse than what they'd suffered in the Nest.
(Technically, yes, but he knew there were some lines which Nat would never cross, not after what Riko had done to them, would never ask Jean to do, so it would be all right.)
"If it means that I don't have to live on British soil, then it's fine," Jean sneered before he poured the last of the coffee in his mug.
That led Nat to complain that he would adore being British, just adore it, and come over to hug him from behind while Jean brewed more coffee. Jean sniffed and insisted that the wonderfulness of France had clearly overwhelmed the fool, and when Nat doubled over in laughter (a truly rare occasion), slung the impudent imp over his shoulder to carry him back to the small couch where they occupied themselves by watching movies for most the day (another impossibly rare occasion) save for when they made something to eat or napped.
It was… if anything brought home the fact that they weren’t Ravens anymore (as well as the fact that they hadn’t been abused in the past twenty-four hours or so), it was that they were able to rest, to do nothing but sit down and be near each other without having to go out on court, to practice and practice and practice, to wear themselves into exhaustion at Tetsuji’s command (the Master’s command). Jean felt it when Nat’s body would twitch against his from time to time as if to jump from the couch and go, to run to the court or the exercise room or somewhere, when his fingers would flex as if to grab a racquet, but there was no court, was no schedule anymore.
Not for them, not when they were no longer Ravens.
(At least not officially – Jean suspected there were some things that weren’t so easily discarded.)
Despite them leaving the Nest, it had left its mark on them, or at least its schedule had, and they soon found themselves growing tired early in the evening; it wasn’t so much the change in time zones as them struggling to adjust to a twenty-four hour day once again. They took turns in the bathroom to prepare for the ‘night’ and then once more curled up together in bed.
That ‘night’, they didn’t sleep without interruption; Jean woke three times to find Nat tense in his arms and whispered his name until his partner’s fingers unclenched from the knife and his heartrate stopped thundering in his narrow chest.
It wasn’t unusual for one of them to have nightmares, not with everything they’d endured at the Nest, with what Nat had endured at his father’s hands. Yet Jean wondered if part of what caused them that night was what had happened right before they’d fled the Nest, was what Nat had done to protect him.
He held his partner (his love) tighter to his chest as his hands soothed along Nat’s trembling body.
The next two days were spent much like the first, with them sleeping when they were tired and cooking when they were hungry, with them watching whatever they found interesting on the television to while away the time. Jean could tell that Nat grew anxious from being ‘trapped’ in the apartment – not even the hours of sit-ups and pushups he did on the floor could burn off the excess energy. Yet when they ran low on food at last, Jean insisted that he be the one to leave the safety of the apartment to go shopping: he was less recognizable with his black hair, could blend in the crowd better than gorgeous, fiery Nat.
Nat… Nathaniel with his auburn curls and pale blue eyes, with his striking features and short, lean body always drew attention, and that was before he opened his mouth, before he unleashed his sharp tongue and sharper wit. No, Jean knew how to be quiet, to blend in and keep his head down so he’d slip out, find the nearest store and be back as quickly as possible.
All it took was a polite question or two and he found a small store down the block, where he was able to purchase enough food to last them a couple more days with the cash that Chesare had left. He was halfway through the alley leading back to their apartment when an older man stepped out of a doorway and in his path.
“Moreau.”
Jean stilled at mention of his name spoken with a British accent, especially since it sounded familiar. He was about to swing a bag of groceries at the man when he caught sight of a gun pointed at him, right before he was motioned toward the doorway. “Ah, best to behave right now,” the man said in English.
“You’re… your Nat’s uncle,” Jean realized as he followed instructions. Why was Stuart Hatford threatening him?
“Clever boy.” Stuart nodded once and, after a long look, put away the gun in a holster he wore beneath the jacket of a finely made grey suit. “I wanted a chance to talk to you alone before I saw Abram.” His fine blond brows drew together in obvious displeasure. “Why are you out of the flat, eh?”
“We need more food, and I thought it best that I fetch it instead of Nat.” Jean scowled at the man while he held up a bag; Stuart was a few inches shorter than him but taller than Nat (who wasn’t?), and had blond hair cut close to the scalp and pale grey eyes – he resembled Nat’s mother, who Jean had seen in a picture Nat cherished (which had been abandoned at the Nest).
“At least you know that much,” the man muttered as he folded his arms over his chest. “Still, anything could happen to you out here.”
“We didn’t know when you were coming, were we to starve while waiting?” Jean shot back.
“Hmm, awful lippy for a man asking for help.” Stuart gave him a cold look for a moment before clicking his tongue. “I’m not here for a bitch session, though. The main branch has found out that Tetsuji’s lost the two of you and Kengo’s not pleased.”
Jean nearly dropped the bags upon hearing that. “What happens now?” Did they have to go to London and join the Hatfords after all?
Stuart continued to stare at him in an intent manner. “What if I told you that they’re never going to stop trying for you and Abram, hmm? That the only way I can see this ending is if we give them something to appease them.”
“And that is?” Jean asked as he slumped against the stone wall framing the door.
“Well… Abram is a Hatford, and Kengo understands family ties. You? You’re not family.” Stuart gave him a cold look. “If we send you back and take Abram in? That might work.”
Jean closed his eyes and thought about it, thought about going back to the States and what the Moriyamas would do to him for daring to run, for harming one of their own… but if Nat would be safe then? As long as his partner (lover) could have a life?
It would be worth it.
“All right,” he said, his voice quiet and not free of a faint quiver, then opened his eyes. “I’ll go. Just… just don’t tell Nathaniel, okay? Not the truth. Tell him some gang got to me or… just not the truth or he’ll never stop until the Moriyamas are destroyed.” The foolish, loyal imp never knew when to let go, he thought with fond amusement despite having just signed his death sentence.
Stuart continued to study him for a couple more seconds before he rubbed at his face as if tired. “Fuck, but you’re serious, aren’t you?”
“Eh? Aren’t you?” Jean was confused, especially when the man shook his head.
“I just… I wanted to see how serious you are,” Stuart said as he motioned down the alley, toward the apartment, “about Abram. We might not have been able to do much about him, but we know him, he’s blood, whereas you?” He gave Jean another intent look. “All we know about you is that you play that damn sport well, that Abram wouldn’t leave you behind, and that… well, that you’re with him. So I wanted to see if you’re worth the trouble.”
Heat suffused Jean’s face as the meaning behind those words sunk in. “But… we’re partners,” he tried to argue as he set the bags down on the ground so he could rub at his own face (hide it behind his hands).
“Don’t lie to a liar,” Stuart muttered as he shifted about; Jean lowered his hands to watch the man light a cigarette then blow out a plume of smoke. “Like I said, Abram’s family so we kept tabs on him in the Nest, we know things.” He gave Jean a narrow look while he lowered the lighter as if slightly displeased. “At least he seems to have better taste than Mary so far, but mess with the kid? You’ll wish I had sent you back to the Moriyamas.”
“It won’t happen,” Jean swore as he picked up the bags of groceries. “Now are you done? Much longer and Nat’s going to tear the city apart looking for me.” The suffering he’d endured the last few minutes was almost worth it when an expression of panic flickered across Hatford’s face and he mumbled something about his sister.
Nat clearly had been ready to search Marseilles for Jean when they reached the apartment (he had his shoes and a jacket on, and knife in hand), and only the arrival of his uncle kept him from interrogating Jean on what had taken him so long to fetch the groceries. Jean allowed the two a few minutes for a private reunion (a bit uncomfortable on his partner’s part since he wasn’t used to grown men who obviously cared about him touching him without harm), and then the three of them settled in to talk about Nat and Jean’s future.
Stuart appeared a bit taken back when Nat argued for them to stay in Marseilles and why, and how they could help out the family as ‘independents’ – taken back but pleased in the end. He appeared to understand Nat’s logic, though he offered suggestions which Nat considered and eventually accepted. For his part, Jean was quiet and as long as Nat felt that it would work out well for them, he went along with his partner’s decisions since all he really knew was Exy and that Nat wouldn’t betray him. He caught Stuart giving him those intent looks again during the discussion from time to time, and noticed an approving gleam in the man’s grey eyes when he would defer to Nat.
“It won’t be easy for you,” Stuart confessed before he left (with the shopping list from Nat in hand), “but to be honest? I think this is more along the lines of what your mother would have wanted for you.” That appeared to be directed at Nat. “She always wanted to stand on her own, it’s why she went to the States.” Grief washed over the man’s expressive face for a moment before he shook his head. “If you’re willing to do some hard work, I’ve some people I think who’ll only be too happy to keep you busy, people who’ll also give those Moriyama bastards pause about causing any trouble.”
Nat glanced at Jean, who nodded at the proposal, before he smiled at his uncle. “It can’t be any worse than Exy practice for ten hours a day – sixteen-hour days at that, so tell them we’re in business.”
“Definitely a Hatford,” Stuart said with obvious pride. “Give me a few days to set up the new identities for you two and to gather everything on the list, though it might be Henry or Jamie who stops by with the stuff.” He grinned as he held up the list. “The family’s eager to see you and I got an earful about being the one to come this time.” The grin turned a bit sharp when Stuart glanced at Jean; years of dealing with Riko set off warning bells in Jean’s head at the thought of him meeting the rest of the ‘family’.
He had some dark thoughts about his partner and all the trouble the damn imp had dragged him into (and out of) over the years, until Stuart left the apartment. Nat was quiet as he stood by the door (locked and bolted), his eyes hooded and full lower lip caught between his teeth, until Jean tucked back a stray lock of his unruly (lovely) hair. “That went well?”
The troubled expression was quickly replaced with a smile as Nat nodded. “Yes, it did,” he assured as he caught at Jean’s hand to lead him back to the kitchen. “He won’t have agreed if he didn’t think it would work, nor would he risk any contacts to help us out. The family also can’t risk us falling back into the Moriyamas’ hands because it’ll make them look bad, so he must think it’ll work.”
Jean didn’t particularly like Stuart after the little ‘trick’ he’d pulled earlier, but he had to admit that Nat was right about the man having reasons to want to keep them safe, to keep Nat safe. He shook his head while he watched his partner (his love and reason for being) wash the dirty mugs. “Of course it’ll work, all of your insane plans do even as they leave chaos and mass destruction in their wake.” He sighed deeply while he glanced heavenwards. “I need to find the nearest church so I can light a candle,” he paused to think about that, “make that a few dozen candles.”
“Ha, there’s that wonderful sense of optimism of yours which I adore,” Nat grumbled as he set the last mug on the dish rack then reached for a towel to dry his wet hands. “I’m surprised you’re not adding ‘check out burial plots’ to the list.”
“Hmm, what a wonderful suggestion.” Jean gave the imp a blank look when Nat growled beneath his breath and came over to smack his fists (with little force) against his chest. “All right, check out my burial plot, you insane demon,” he clarified as he wrapped his arms around his beloved tormentor to hug him close.
“You know I’d never let something like that happen to you,” Nat murmured as he gazed at Jean’s chest, eyes downcast and a slight frown on his lips.
No, Nat (Nathaniel, the Butcher of Baltimore’s son and a Hatford, the Perfect Court’s number Three and the one Raven whom the Moriyamas could never break) never would, no matter how much pain and abuse Riko heaped upon him (the beatings and cuts and handing him over to- no, no more). “I know,” Jean breathed out as he hugged the most precious person in the world tighter against him.
Nat’s smile blossomed even as it took on a sad note. “I won’t. So if you want to walk away, to find your sister and live somewhere quiet together, somewhere away from all the-“
Jean didn’t give the fool a chance to finish such an improbable, generous, Nat-like offer (sacrifice); he lifted his love into a passionate kiss which served as his answer. Yet in case that wasn’t definite enough, once a certain spawn from hell was left gasping for air and clutching at his neck, Jean broke it off to speak (after he drew in a deep breath). “There’s no way I’m going to allow you to run around my beloved country unsupervised, you destructive little imp. There’ll be nothing left standing within a week.”
That earned him a pleased smile. “You underestimate me.”
Jean closed his eyes and offered up a prayer for patience even as he rubbed his partner’s back, then sighed again when Nat wiggled free.
“Come on! We’ve a lot to do before Stuart or whoever comes by with the stuff,” Nat insisted as he tugged Jean to the living room. “I should be able to teach you how to pick pockets and some basic fighting skills by then.” He seemed to consider something as he began to push the small coffee table out of the way, his lower lip once more caught between his teeth. “Maybe if it’s Henry or Jamie, they can help with the fighting.”
Jean had a feeling that he’d be running out to the store again very soon, that time to buy wine; he rubbed his forehead at the thought of what Nat and the Hatfords would soon teach him, of what his new life would be like, and sighed in intense weariness.
Still, Nat was at his side and he was free of the Moriyamas (mostly), could look forward to the day when the two of them held no obligation to anyone but each other. The thought of that future in mind, he pushed any doubts aside and taunted his partner to do his worst.
*******
Okay, so there’s that. Now I have to get to work on the Reverse Big Bang fic, last of my owed fics, and then... we’ll see?
#nekojitachanfics#aftg#neil josten#Jean Moreau#raven!neil#aftg au#stuart hatford#qui n'avance pas fic#mumbling into the void#jeaneil
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IMBOLC was so MAGICAL!! Oh my goodness!!
It's a bit of a long story and I don't want to leave out too many details but I am so glad it all turned out more than ok!! I did not have enough time to put everything together easily and I had to whip up a ritual last minute and I was staying at a coworker’s BOUGIE apartment that is BEAUTIFUL and Ideal for an Imbolc setting (the color scheme is like all white, gray and cream with TALL ceilings, Huge french windows, fluffy white carpets, fireplaces I could put white pillar candles in, long sheer white curtains, you get the point lol) but literally I had a witch gathering party at his place while he was away and I had to make it look like nothing. ever. happened.. the next morning.
I bought these string candle-lights which everyone was laughing at how in theme it was but I strung some across window sills and over the fireplace that I've stuffed white pillar candles in. I stuck tea lights everywhere and found some silvery tealights at a corner shop that were "spa scented" which sounds weird but!! They smelled fantastic and made the space feel calmer. I topped those with sage leaves. I used vanilla incense sticks and this other scent called 'Divine' (that stamford masala incense brand you might see at every spiritual shop) that really elevated the space and made it feel calm and angelic. The whole apartment felt very angelic, light, white and fluffy. On their large screen TV I made a visual playlist on youtube of timelapse videos of nature thawing into spring and frost melting or flowers sprouting from the ground. I played a lot of winter meditative tracts and purifying binural beats.
I pulled strings to get out of work early so I could run to my coworkers place, feed his cats, and get to cooking!! I made a spread of cheese, (mostly brie), coconut cheese, cheese infused crackers and poppyseed crackers, black sable grapes and blueberries that I sprinkled silver bonbons in.
I prepared 3 tonics as a welcome drink that my witch friends could choose from to what potion will aid them for the seeds they are sowing and the cycles to come. They were syrups that were agave based and infused with herbs overnight. There was one for clarity to know what steps to take to achieve goals and that was an infusion of sage, juniper berries and rosemary. There was one for inspiration and sudden muse or creativity to help complete projects and that one was an infusion of valerian root, chamomile, blue poppyseeds and caraway seeds. (Seeds were also symbolic in this one lol), then lastly there was one for inner fire and a wake-up call to get the drive going to get tasks done. That was a black breakfast tea leaf with a sprinkle of pepper in it. They were mixed with Gin (gin being a juniper infusion actually has an interesting history with being used as a cleanser and medicine though its obviously not used that way anymore) and tonic so they were all really herbal and refreshing (non-alcoholic drinks were just gin-free) and they all had a pretty light golden clear color. The clarity one was the most popular though I wish I drank some of the wake-up call one myself.
For food I made baked macaroni and cheese with mozzarella, sharp cheddar, brie, sweet sauteed white onions, black pepper and truffle oil. The plant-based option was stuffed cabbage rolls made with this BEAUTIFUL cabbage I had no idea existed (it caught my eye in the store) called sweetheart cabbage. It was snow-white colored and each large leaf was somewhat heart-shaped. I stuffed it with a sauteed combo of white sweet onions, white mushrooms, chopped parsnips, cauliflower rice and coconut cheese. Lastly I made a salad of chopped fennel and the smaller leaves of the sweet heart cabbage and raw parsnips.
The whole table's food had a white and beige theme lol. We all caught up about our lives and ate food and coo-ed over the cats. When everyone arrived we got to the ritual which I dressed his coffee table in different tea lights and bigger candles. Since I am WIZENED from many previous disasters with candles on tables and witch shenanigans, I put SEVERAL covers on his glass coffee table which consisted of 1- bamboo mats, 2- a white blanket as table cloth (mostly for aesthetic) 3- a coat of aluminum foil 4- 2 layers of cream table cloths. Just to ensure nothing could damage his table.
I am not the biggest fan of leading ritual cause it feels uncomfortable to me to 'lead' everyone's energy but its nice cause this is the third sabbat in a row I've hosted and I guess my friends get the gist now so they all kind of contribute their own parts to it which is.. WHAT I WANTED IN THE FIRST PLACE lol. I take initiative to host sabbats or gatherings or create a community so sometimes people think I am a leader cause I am initiating something but honestly I just want to hold space for others. Anyway the ritual started off with us cleansing baggage from our previous cycle so we can move into the next one purified. I had a juniper bundle I bought in glastonbury that I smoke cleansed everyone with.
Then we spoke about what Imbolc meant for us and how its also reflective on the cycle of life and death when the spirit enters the womb and how seeds of life and hope are stirring. I asked them each to take a tea light and visualize it as a goal or project they wanted to accomplish for this year and to dress it in herbs and oils. I had sage for clarity, rosemary for abundance, blue poppy seeds for growth and inspiration, tea tree oil for protection etc and they could carve in symbols to their candle or whatever. When they were working on that I read everyone's spirit's incarnation crosses from their human design since I knew everyone's birth time lol. The incarnation cross uses some astrology to take into consideration the position of the planets during your third trimester when it’s believed that the spirit enters the body in the womb. It’s to illuminate what your spirit’s intention in this incarnation seeks to fulfill.
Before we lit the candle my best witch friend took us on this AMAZING guided mediation that was so creative and visual and wonderful. We grounded ourselves but she took us on this story-telling guided meditation journey of us being deep in the earth and smelling the damp soil but having our goal be this light or seed within us that grows and expands until it pushes us up and out through the soil into the wintery forest air. I really felt like some reborn forest faerie sprite after that like she should record meditation podcasts.
We then lit our candles and we used the flame to light the biggest pillar candle as our combined hope and it lit ABLAZED. One of my friends couldn't get her candle to light and we did divination for her to find out what was blocking her and did a road opening spell for her so that she could overcome the obstacles.
After we wanted to do some candle scrying so another friend who does these amazing sound healing ceremonies (I went to glastonbury with her) lead the candle scrying and Y'all.. it was INSANE
Like none of us were READY for the fucking adventure.. Basically we thought we'd all be staring into a candle in a trance quietly but it literally felt like something took hold of her like a greater spirit used her as a vessel and it was incredible. She told us all to hold hands and we closed our eyes and did some breathing. We all had to pulse each others hands and visualize a white thread locking us together for protection and creating a circle. She then called on to our higher guides to protect us and create this link to our higher spirits to open a channel so that we may see and allow the fire to guide us. She then was speaking so fast but also with such precision on how the light is opening a door and whatever we will see will help us unlock our true potential and see how we are the light etc for what felt like 6 minutes nonstop and it was so hard to stay on cause I had the WORST PAIN come up in the center of my back where my heart was and I was feeling like it was the culmination of energy being blocked (I have been doing sound healing there to help my heart energy but its been a rough journey), and the fire just felt like it could not channel through me cause of that blockage, but though the knot still hurts even as I type this, I could not break the circle lol. My best friend to my right was staring so intently I knew she was off like astral projecting into this fire, and as I would catch glimpses of others around me everyone was just like.. ON a Journey. I felt like it was like that scene in Harry Potter when they took the port key like we were all locked in and spiraling through time and space and I just had to wait until it was done. I looked at my friend to my right and she was beaming with TEARS covering her face, and my other friends looked windswept for some reason?? We were all like goddamn.. Everyone had Some Shit they've seen in the fire. Even if some of us didn't see something we saw a lot of colors which I mostly saw since I was really focused on the pain in my back. My friend leading the scrying said that the back area I pointed out was a channel that was blocked and is connected to my throat energy so once I fix that it can be aligned/opened but its like.. healing is so hard guys haha.
Anyway we grounded ourselves after the ritual with dessert! :) There was cheesecake (of course) I decorated with white chocolate star sprinkles and the same silver bonbon sprinkles and pavlova that could be topped with blueberries. I also had a cookie spread of butter cookies, white chocolate chip sugar cookies and white chocolate twix bars. The rest were mostly vegan desserts which were lovely. I bought coconut rice pudding but my other friends got vanilla cupcakes with thick white vegan buttercream, there was vanilla soy icecream that was really creamy and light and my aries witch friend I went to Berlin with made home made vegan tiramisu which was fantastic! She also bought red wine.
We spent the rest of the evening chatting, playing with the cats and laughing about whatever, my Aries witch friend was upset I made the dresscode all-white but she was wearing her 'artist' shirt she does painting in so she didn't care that she got tiramisu ALL OVER IT lol. (which we pointed out that no one else had stains on their white outfits but I mean she's an Aries what do you expect), and when we were all getting drunk and sleepy I asked my best witch friend if she wanted to tell a story and Oh My God she fucking DELIVERED
Basically she took us on this adventure retelling the story of Baba Yaga cause it was a tale that does also have to do with crone passing power to a maiden and a cycle re-continuing. Plus it's a midwinter tale involving fire and illumination. Anyway I used to think about how sad it was that back in the day people didn't have movies and had to like tell stories and shit but she was so good at telling this story I was like damn I get it now why people just used to sit around and tell stories together cause this shit is lit.
Before everyone left I forced people to take home food (I mean I had to get rid of all evidence of anything happening in my coworkers house) and I made everyone white paper lanterns with goodies inside and I stuck an electric tealight in it so it glows. I put a bathbomb in there, white chocolate, mint crumbles, buttermints for the non-vegans and tiny spell-jars filled with salt flakes.
When I was finally alone and had to do cleanup it took me nearly three hours but I was also drunk at that point lol. I now have left-over mac and cheese for days but gladly my aries witch friend is vegan and took the cabbage rolls with her and everyone helped take everything else.The cleaner came in the morning and essentially all evidence of anything ever occurring in that apartment was cleansed away...
I hope everyone else had a fantastic Imbolc!! It was on such a perfect moon phase too since it's the first quarter moon!!
#imbolc#personal#the story is long but filled with details#it was a magical night#all I could have ever wanted
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Silver Roses
Chapter Three
"Why is he here?" Hellboy groans as he sat down in the briefing room.
Nuada stood, leaning against the doorframe as Manning set a dossier on the long, oval table.
"Because I asked him to be." He says simply. Hellboy grumbles to himself, keeping the Prince in his peripheral vision. Liz sat next to him and he rested his stone hand on the back of her chair.
Manning opens the file and pans through it. "We have some reports of a ghost whisperer -a real ghost whisperer- in rural Nebraska." He says.
"So what? It's a fake. A charlatan." Hellboy shrugs.
"Not this one, at least we hope." Manning says. He glances to the seat beside him where a young woman sat. She was a new agent, only in her twenties, but she was smart and very accomplished. Not to mention she had a special...ability. Controlling and manipulating electricity. Agent Lydia Bellaire.
"True ghost whisperers are almost impossible to come by. Mostly because the real ones don't make themselves known to the public. Typically it truly is fakes and charlatans putting on seance's and making money off of the public." She says.
"And we think this one is real because…?" Liz asks.
"According to anyone in town who had a reading by this girl, this…" Lydia took a moment to flip through the file looking for the name. "Rosemary Moore; well they claim whatever she predicted came true and she knew things that she truly couldn't possibly know."
Hellboy scoffs and chuckles. "Doesn't everyone say that about psychics?"
"These are a bit more extreme." Lydia says as she pulls some reports out. "Let's see…"She knew that I had been raped when I was 13 years old, which is something I never told anyone. She even told me his name and gave a description of him"."
"And she just... magically knew this?" Liz asks.
"No...she apparently channeled this woman's dead grandmother." Lydia says as she keeps looking over the file.
"So her grandmother knew and didn't say anything?" Hellboy raised a brow.
"Apparently the grandmother was dead long before the rape." Lydia sighs softly. "Ghosts are tricky things and from what I've gathered from research is that they can tap into all kinds of knowledge. Seeing into the future, or knowing things that simply shouldn't be known from the past and present."
"So...a psychic gets their readings straight from ghosts?" Liz asks.
"I'm not positive. That's why we'd like to go out and meet this Rosemary." Lydia says.
"And you wanna send us? This ain't a big deal, send someone like Myers." Hellboy says.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you liked going out." Agent Manning mocks, making Hellboy's face go a little redder.
"I was hoping it could be Hellboy, Nuada and myself." Lydia says as she stood.
"Him? Why him?" Hellboy juts his thumb behind him where Nuada still stood, silent and still like an old oak tree. His gold eyes narrowed at Lydia as he honestly wondered the same thing. Why him?
"Well we're short on agents at the moment, and I also want to test this ghost whisperer." Lydia says.
"Test how?" Hellboy asks.
Lydia reached into her bag and pulled out two necklaces that looked ancient and gold.
Nuada's eyes flashed and he stormed over.
"Where did you get these?" He hisses at the young woman who kept a good poker face, even though she felt her insides shiver with anxiety.
"Your sister." Lydia says simply. "She's already charmed them to you and Agent Hellboy specifically."
Nuada looked like he was seething. He hated seeing elvish relics in the hands of humans. They didn't belong there! And his own sister had handed them over...
"What are those?" Liz asks.
"Let the demon put his on." Nuada scoffs. "You'll see." He slipped away from the table to skulk in the corner.
Lydia held out a necklace to Hellboy and he looked at it as if she was holding out a dead cat. "What's that gonna do to me?"
"You won't feel a thing." Lydia sighs as she comes around the table to Hellboy. "The Princess already showed me and it's actually pretty cool."
Hellboy winced and closed his eyes as Lydia reached up and let the necklace fall down around his neck. He didn't feel anything but he heard everyone gasp.
"What? What happened?" He lets one eye crack open a little.
Lydia fished out a mirror from her bag and held it out to him and as he looked in he just about fell back in his chair.
"What the fuck." He says as he touches his cheek. He still felt the same but the face looking back wasn't him at all. He looked...normal. Pale, human flesh, blue eyes, salt and pepper hair. As Hellboy kept touching his face his fingers touched his horn stubs. He still felt the same.
"It's a glamor spell." Nuada explains. "So even creatures who aren't fae can change how they look."
"And if this girl is legit, she should be able to see through it. Literally or figuratively." Lydia says. "Plus you guys can go into town with me without causing a riot."
Hellboy was still looking in the mirror, checking out his face. He still looked like his original self in some ways, the build of his face and things like that. "Can I keep this?" He asks.
"No." Everyone else says in unison.
"Man this place is small." Hellboy looks out the window of the van as Lydia drove into the small town in Nebraska.
"Ogallala." Lydia sighs softly. "It's nice. It's quaint." She says.
Hellboy had already slipped on his glamor necklace and tucked it under his shirt to hide it. Nuada was in the back seat of the van, spread out and seemingly asleep.
Lydia drove through and pulled up next to a small motel. It looked cheap, but they wouldn't be staying here very long.
"Agent Silverlance, your necklace." Lydia says.
Hellboy looks over his shoulder at the elf prince. He was genuinely curious to see what he would look like as a human.
Nuada sighs and sat up, pulling his golden chain and amulet out of his pocket and slipping it over his head. In an instant he morphed into a handsome human. Tan skin and blue eyes. Instead of long hair his head had a close shave. It was a drastic change and he looked utterly normal.
"Let's do this." Lydia sighs as she got out. Hellboy and Nuada followed. It was overcast and humid, promising rain later. Lydia pulled her leather jacket tighter around her body. A chill in the air signaled Autumn was creeping in.
Lyida paid for a maximum of two nights for a room. The biggest there only had two beds which meant, if anyone got the chance to sleep she'd have to bunk with someone. She was already picking Hellboy because she was worried the elf prince might kill her if she was in the same bed as him.
They unload the bags they had brought and Lydia pulled out a local map and began going over it with a red marker.
"So one of these reports actually gives directions to the farmhouse." Lydia bit down on the marker cap and pulled it off before she began to go over the map.
"It's not too far from Ash Hollow." She mumbled around it.
"What's that?" Hellboy asks.
"There's a museum and everything. It's on the Oregon Trail. Some people died of dysentery." Lydia explains as she kept glancing at her papers and slowly traced a red line across her map. "I've heard it's really nice out there ...here we go." Lydia circles a spot in the middle of nowhere.
"The farmhouse should be right here."
After breakfast at a nearby diner -where Lydia had pancakes and yogurt, Hellboy ate as much as he could without drawing attention, and Nuada just had a cup of black coffee that he barely touched- they were off to the farmhouse.
It was a long drive out through nothing but corn and wheat fields and there were no other cars coming or going. Lydia let Hellboy drive since it was something he didn't get to do very often. She would reach over and shift gears for him so he didn't break the shifter with his glamoured stone hand.
A misty rain had begun to fall and the overcast got thicker. There was an ominous feel in the air with it and Lydia thought of the old "Children of the Corn" movies.
"This is a long damn drive." Hellboy groans. It felt like they'd hardly been moving, everything looked the same outside. Finally the earth began to change a little, slipping up or down. Bluffs and small cliffs popped up on either side. They would have made excellent look outs for the Native Americans who had once lived on the land.
It was kind of peaceful actually. The light rain made everything look an even deeper green. Nuada kept his eyes out the window, savoring it. If only he could just throw this door open and jump from the vehicle. To hell with his injuries; he could bolt for the fields and never be seen again.
He rubbed his left wrist hard, tugging at the tracking bracelet that was locked onto him. He remembered the shock it could give him as well. He wouldn't get two feet before someone pushed that button…
"Here!" Lydia says, pointing to a dirt road that broke off the pavement. Hellboy came to a screeching stop making the trio lurch forwards in their seats.
"Fuck!" He winced and Lydia rubbed her shoulder. "You're ok." She assures him. No one had been behind them thankfully.
Hellboy kept the van parked in the middle of the road a moment as he and Lydia squinted at an old looking sign posted by the dirt road.
"Fortune telling and seances like nowhere else! You won't be disappointed! Not for the faint of heart. $60 per person, price non-negotiable. Worth every penny!"
"That seems excessive." Hellboy says as he turns into the dirt road.
"Money is no object thankfully." Lydia says as she keeps an eye out for anything as they drove down the road. More cornfields on either side of them, closer now and making her feel boxed in. Thankfully the road wasn't long and an old, falling apart farmhouse came into view.
Hellboy pulled the van up by an old, dead tree and Lydia put it into park for him and turned off the ignition.
"Creepy." She observes.
Good thing that kinda thing doesn't bother us." Hellboy smirks.
The three got out of the van and stretched a moment. The rain was getting heavier and the sky was getting darker. Lydia quickly went up the old creaking steps into the wrap around porch. She waited for Hellboy and Nuada to be right behind her before she gave the front door a few good, hard knocks.
Just a half-hour earlier
When Rose had found the old hairpin in a crack between the floorboards she almost lost her composure. She'd been slipping away to bed the night before, late like always because she did all the cleaning up after dinner. Her uncle had been in the den, smoking and reading a book, so she had to be discreet about it. She pretended to trip on her chain -which of course awarded her with cruel jokes and chastising from her uncle- but it was just enough. She pried the pin out and found her footing again before slipping away to the closet under the stairs. It had been her bedroom for the whole ten years she'd lived here. Her aunt had said it was the only space she had for Rose; apparently her cousins refused to let her bunk with them in their rooms and there was no sofa to sleep on.
It was small and cramped but it was Rose's little slice of solitude.
She slipped into the closet and shut the door behind her, stuffing an old rag into the hole where the doorknob should be. One good thing about using the closet as a bedroom, is there was a heating vent right in the corner. Rose could hear every word said in every room of the house, and she waited until she heard everyone go to bed and kept waiting to make sure they were all asleep.
Finally, the only sounds she could hear was the creaking of the house settling and the furnace in the basement kicking in.
In the closet there was only a small lamp to see by and it's batteries were getting low. The light was dim and flickering and Rose was worried it wouldn't last long enough for her to pick the lock on her shackled leg.
She fumbled with the hair pin, slipping it into the keyhole and twisting it around. Damn it, this used to be so easy…picking locks wasn't that hard!
She was getting frustrated and desperate and her hands began shaking and forcing the pin roughly.
She lost her grip and it popped out of the keyhole,
Rose bit her tongue to keep from screaming every curse she knew. And of course, because someone up there must have a vendetta against her, her lamp died out, leaving her in the pitch dark.
"Damnit damnit damnit!" Rose hisses as she gritted her teeth.
Her fingers run along the floorboards in desperation, praying and begging under her breath. Her little closet room had never felt so vast before. The night had already passed and she was beginning to hear birds chirping outside. Once the sun was up, she might have a chance of seeing the floor, but she also had a very high risk of being spotted and caught again if she ran.
For once Rose wished a ghost would just help her for once! Sure, they came around when they needed something from her, but God forbid they could ever give her something in return!
Yeah, come around and drain my energy. Leave your ugly feelings inside of me when I channel you and give your messages to loved ones. Can't a single one of you just pick up a hairpin and fucking shove it in my hand?!
Cold metal. Her fingertips barely register it at first, but it was there. Rose scrambles up the pin feeling her heart begin to pound so loudly she wondered if she would wake up the entire household.
This time she forces herself to be steady and slow with it. If she lost the pin again she was screwed.
Click
The lock twisted and popped off the shackle and clattered to the floor.
Rose gently removed the metal loop from her ankle and she rubbed the dark and bloodied ring it had left.
No time for that. She tells herself. She could take care of her injuries when she was Scott free.
She fumbled around in her closet a few moments more, pulling on socks and grabbing a pair of battered cowgirl boots before she slowly opened the closet door.
The first few bits of sunlight were peeking through the curtains, casting the house in a deep navy blue.
Her covered feet made little noise as she slowly scooted towards the kitchen. She'd have to leave through the backdoor because the lock on it was broken. The front door always stayed locked until her uncle got up, which would be any minute now. Farmers got up as the sun did.
As Rose reached the kitchen door she could hear the distant beep-beep-beep of an alarm clock upstairs and her heart wrenches.
In a panic she bolted out the door, stumbling and tripping as she pulled on her boots and she ran as fast as she could into the foggy early morning.
The door opened very quickly after Lydia knocked. An older, very scrawny woman stood in the doorway, wearing flannel, jeans and boots.
"Can I help you?" She asks.
"Yes, my brothers and I saw your sign out by the road, about having a psychic?" Lydia says, playing the part very well. Although this woman obviously wasn't convinced that Hellboy and Nuada were her brothers, glamor or none. However, she didn't mention it. In fact the word psychic almost made her look panicky. "Oh."
"I'm sorry, is this the wrong house?" Lydia asks quickly.
"No...ah, our meetings with my niece are typically by appointment only." The woman says.
"We could come back." Lydia suggested but she really hated to do that. One, the trip out here was long but two, most importantly, this woman was giving her a very bad feeling in the pot of her stomach. She seemed off somehow. Crooked.
"No, no...if you have an extra twenty per person, I think we can forgive you." The woman says.
Lydia did the math in her head. $60 per person with an extra $20 tacked on would be $240. Good thing the BPRD was government funded and had very deep pockets, she'd hate to pay that out of her own pocket for what might be a complete scam. She didn't flinch as she pulled out her wallet and counted out two hundred and forty dollars and handed it over. The woman took the time to count it of course before she smiles softly and held out her hand.
"My name's Bitsy Saunders, come on in."
Lydia shook it before stepping inside. The farmhouse was rustic and quaint. She looked around, spotting a small room sectioned off by thick, red drapes.
"Head in inside, Rosemary will be with you shortly." Bitsy says. Lydia slipped into the small room. It was dark and cozy with red drapes along the walls. Trinkets and talismans dangled from the ceiling. Nuada scoffs softly as he looks around. All junk just for show.
Hellboy hung back a little, peeking out from the curtain and keeping a close eye on Bitsy. Lydia hadn't been the only one to catch a funky feeling off the woman.
He narrowed his eyes as he watched the old woman go to the closet under the stairs and knock on the door.
"Rose we have clients." She hisses. "Get your lazy bones up!"
Apparently there was no answer from inside because Bitsy flings the door open and froze.
Hellboy slipped into the seance room and shook his head. "I think you just blew 240 bucks Lyd."
"Why do you say that?" Lydia was playing around with the lucky rabbits feet that dangled from the sides of the small round table.
As if on cue Bitsy blew in past the red curtain door looking pale. "I'm sorry but she's not feeling very well at all today."
I'm sorry to hear that." Lydia says, but she didn't believe a word of it. "You don't think I could just see her a moment? I only have a couple of questions to ask her."
"No! No...she's...my husband is taking her to town to see a doctor as we speak." Bitsy says. Something no one believed. There hadn't been any vehicles out front when they'd arrived and the house seemed completely empty save for Mrs. Saunders.
Lydia wasn't sure what she should do. Rosemary Moore could be laying dead somewhere for all she knew.
"You sure about that lady? You looked pretty surprised when you opened that closet. And please don't tell me that's your nieces bedroom." Hellboy scoffs.
Bitsy set her jaw and and shoves the curtain door open. "Please go."
"No refund?" Hellboy cocks his head, trying to get a rise out of this woman.
"Let's just go." Nuada scoffs as he slipped past Bitsy. He glanced over his shoulder, noticing that she was still focused on Lydia and Hellboy, so he slipped towards the closet door that was still standing open.
"I said leave!" Bitsy was getting very agitated and Lydia grabbed Hellboy's arm.
"Let's go. She's not some monster you can beat in with your hand, she's an old woman." She whispers.
"Fine." Hellboy pulled away from Lydia and shoves past Bitsy and Lydia followed.
"Your niece run away for a good reason?" Nuada calls from the closet door.
Mrs. Saunders's eyes went wide as she saw him bent over looking into the small space and Lydia quickly joined him and she felt her blood starting to boil. It was a cramped, sorry excuse of a place to keep someone. It was obviously being lived in quite a bit.
"You have no right to be nosing around my house! I'm sorry if we're not rich like you fucking City folk and can afford a nice big house with a bedroom for everyone in it!" She yells. "Now get out before I call the police!"
Hellboy was glaring at the woman, feeling his blood rage in his veins. Even Nuada felt sick and angry. He could see the chain and shackles laying on the floor…the woman had been a prisoner…
Lydia grabbed both men by their shirt collars and drug them towards the front door.
"We'll see who will be calling the police on who!" She yells over her shoulder before slamming the door behind her.
"We can't just fucking leave." Hellboy hisses at her as she storms to the van.
"Why not? She's not here and there's nothing we can do." Lydia sighs. "The woman got away on her own and she's out there somewhere."
"So we just leave?" Hellboy growls. He rested his hands on top of the van, and his stone one was beginning to dent the metal as he gripped it too tight.
"Yeah Red. We leave." Lydia sighs.
By now it was pouring out, and blowing like hell. Hellboy and Nuada had discarded their glamor pendants. Red was driving again down the deserted road back to town, groaning and muttering to himself. This didn't feel right at all. Someone had to save that poor girl.
Lydia was sitting in back talking on the phone with Manning about the situation. "She's in the wind! I don't know what we can do now."
Nuada sat up front with Hellboy, arms crossed and watching out the window as the rain created rivers down glass. His stomach hadn't settled since he'd seen those chains on the closet floor. He couldn't understand why they'd keep their own niece locked away in such a fashion. Unless maybe she wasn't their niece...maybe some poor girl with a gift they'd kidnapped and abused?
He lets his head rest against the cold glass and he kept watching the scenery go by, dreading being back in the city. As he kept looking out his sharp vision seeing something moving along the road up ahead and he sits up straight again. Definitely a human but why were they walking along the road in this ungodly weather?
"Demon!" Nuada reaches out and grabbed Hellboy's arm, spooking him and making him swerve.
"Fuck! What the hell is your problem?" Hellboy growls after slamming on the breaks.
"Look!" Nuada points out the window where the human had stopped walking and turned around. Nuada opened his door and looked out; a young woman with long hair being whipped and matted in the wind. She was shaking hard, only wearing a thin nightgown, hooded sweater that had soaked through, and boots.
"Nuada get back in the van." Lydia calls as she stepped out. "It's better if I talk to her first."
Nuada hesitated but eventually complied.
Lyida had slipped on her thick coat and she quickly walked to the poor shivering woman. As she got closer, Lydia could feel her heart wrenching and she knew without asking who this must be standing in front of her.
"Are you Rosemary Moore?" Lydia asks over the wind and rain as she stepped closer. The young woman was about the same age as she was but she seemed younger and smaller. She was thin...too thin…
"Please…" the woman's voice was hoarse. "Please don't take me to my aunt."
"I promise you that won't happen. You'll never have to see her again." Lydia says.
"Who are you?" Rose shook out, looking Lydia up and down, glancing at the van.
"My name is Lydia Bellaire and I work with the BPRD." Lydia says as she gently took Rose by the arm. "You can't stay out here."
Rose swallowed hard as she followed Lydia to the van. She looks through the window and could see the driver. Big and red…
Lydia opens the van door and helps Rose into the backseat with her and noticed her staring at Hellboy.
Rose sat down shaking as she watched him. "Are...are you the Devil?" She softly asks. Hellboy chuckles softly as he shifted gears.
"No but don't feel bad. People ask me that all the time."
#hellboy the golden army#hellboy#hellboy 2008#hellboy 2#nuadasilverlance#nuada#nuada silverlance#princess nuala#nuala#liz sherman#abe sapien#OC#lovestory#fanfiction
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729
What was the last kind thing that someone did for you?
Over dinner I complained under my breath that it was hot and uncomfortable, but my dad picked up on it and readjusted the electric fan so that it would be little more pointed at my direction.
Do you know anyone whose birthday was yesterday?
John Cena, if he counts lol.
Tell me about the strangest dream you've had recently (if you can remember)
Most of them have been sooo weird recently. The last vivid one I can remember involved Ed and Rosemarie from the TLC show 90 Day Fiance because I was watching their episode before I took that nap hahaha. I dreamt they got married and some people from my high school were invited ksksksks so weird.
When was the last time you laughed at yourself? Why?
There was an unfamiliar (and kinda large) bird that flew over me and my mom here at the rooftop and I completely panicked and ran for the stairs. We had a good laugh about it afterwards because we sounded so stupid screaming.
Name one of your favourite foods that starts with the letter 'A'.
Does it have to be in English? I really like alimango, which is just crab in English. I’ve tried racking my brain for English words but the closest thing to being a ‘favorite’ of mine is avocado, but I only like it when it’s incorporated in other dishes, like cheesecake.
Who was the last person you text messaged? Have you ever seen him/her cry?
Angela’s mom - I thanked her when she sent me a birthday greeting. I’ve never seen her cry but I’d be heartbroken if I did; she’s one of the kindest people I know.
When was the last time you updated your Facebook status?
I only make statuses when I give a birthday shoutout to a loved one, so the last time I did my own post was for my dad back in January. But as for stuff I post in general, I shared a news article literally a minute ago.
How many likes/comments did it get?
Hasn’t gotten any yet.
Do you know anyone named Angela?
My best friend is named this. I also used to have a friend we called Angel, but ever since she migrated to Toronto she apparently started going by Angela so her too I guess.
When was the last time you felt confused? Why?
An hour-ish ago. I was left really confused by that foreign-looking bird because we only ever get to see maya literally everywhere I am in the Philippines.
How many lipsticks do you own? What colour is your favourite lipstick?
I don’t have any kind of lipstick.
Have you eaten any kind of dessert today?
I had a slice of cheesecake; it was also the last slice :(
Have you ever liked someone whose name started with 'C'?
Nope.
What colour eyes did they have?
Do you know anyone who has an unusual pet?
No. The most exotic ones I can remember are Michelle’s cockatiel, Moonmoon, and a super super past friend who used to have a snake, who I think was named after a wrestler.
How old are you? Do you think you look younger/older than your actual age?
I’m 22 but I def look younger. I’m always the friend that gets asked for an ID.
Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with 'J'?
My sister.
How did you meet him/her?
She...was brought to the house, where I was waiting, after she was born?
Do you have a friend named Hannah? What colour hair does she have?
Yup, I have a close friend. Last time I saw her it was dyed a very very light brown, almost blonde.
Name 3 of your best friend's favourite foods.
It’s impossible to guess Angela’s because she’s That Friend who says “anything is fine” when asked where she wants to eat lmao, and she really is always happy with whatever restaurant we end up picking so I’m guessing she likes all the food. I know Gabie likes albondigas, Yabu katsu, and any kind of pasta.
When was the last time you had mixed emotions/feelings? Why?
This morning when I found out our lockdown has been extended until May 15. I was ok with the extra time at home but I was also no longer ok with the extra time at home. Idk, it’s a weird feeling overall.
How far away is the person you love/like?
15 minutes if I drive as fast as much as I feel restless to see her. Maybe 25-30 minutes if I drive more carefully. It’s a little comforting - and poetic - though that I live in the lower part of the city and having a rooftop allows me to see the higher portion, so whenever I miss her I just gaze at the peak of the mountain, where she lives.
What was the last thing you put in the bin?
The sachet of 3-and-1 coffee I opened to make the cup of coffee currently beside me.
Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind?
I was feeling okay and a bit playful this afternoon but for some reason both of my parents snapped at me at the same time, so it effectively destroyed my mood and I stormed to my room, as hot as it gets in the afternoon, and slept for the next 5 hours.
Have you paid anyone a compliment today? Who?
I don’t think so.
When was the last time you had butterflies? Why?
Yesterday. Gonna be a bit of a story but here we go - I was surprised to see my girlfriend’s dad send a friend request on Facebook (we’ve been friends for a while now) so I figured he pressed the wrong buttons, unfriended me, and just added me again so I thought nothing of it and accepted the request. Told Gab about it shortly after and she said it was a spam account pretending to be him and told me to unfriend it immediately. I’ve heard enough of spam accounts getting private information off of unknowing people, so that’s Butterflies Part 1 for me because the damage had already been done with me adding him.
Anyway minutes after, his dad messages me and says there’s an account pretending to be him and if I already accepted the friend request, I had to unfriend it immediately. DUMB MOVE ON MY END but I replied, thanking him for the heads up and told Gabie “I talked to him, everything’s ok!” and then Gabie gave me Butterflies Part 2 when she said “...are you serious? Are you even sure it’s him?” so I started panicking because I thought I took the bait and I started thinking about all my private shit already being taken lmao. So I deleted the message and asked Gabie how I could prove if it’s the real Dad, so she said to check the profile and thankfully the account that messaged me was her dad so it was a false alarm hahahaha. Tl;dr, I would do AWFUL in a scam.
Is there anything you hope will happen in the near future?
For the virus to disappear, for the lockdown to end, for my unemployment/job-hunting anxiety to end.
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Witchful Thinking: Love Potion
Witchful Thinking│Sweet Pea
Witch!AU
Love Potion
You looked out the window, where the Serpents usually gathered by Sweet Water River; Always smiling, laughing and having fun. You were so envious of them. They were always so free. And here you were being a recluse, as usual, stuck in your kitchen as you worked on a new potion. You’d been stuck on the love potion page for the better half of the week. You were trying to talk yourself into believing that you only wanted to make it because a witch should be well versed in all magic, and had nothing to do with the 6’3 beautiful man that joined the Serpents at the river.
Peaking back out the window you caught the tail end of his laugh. His whole chest would shake as he playfully hit Fangs. You were sure he was the most beautiful man that could ever exist. Everything about him was so perfect. His soft facial features in contrast with his personality, supple lips, the most beautiful raven hair that you’ve seen.
He was perfection…
If only he could be yours…?
He looked toward your window, almost like he felt you staring at him and you practically threw yourself to hide from his gaze.
“Maybe just making the love potion can’t hurt…” you mumbled to yourself.
“Mew” your familiar chimed.
“Oh hush Binx, it’s not like I’m gonna use it on him...that’s immoral.” you crossed your arms over your chest. “Right? It’s immoral.”
“MEW!”
“Ok, ok I got it…” you huffed and looked around. “But just having it can’t hurt…”
“Mew”
“Binx there’s really no need to be that sassy. I’ll make the potion right.” you rolled your eyes “One screw up and you never let me live it down.”
“Mew”
“Ok, so it was more than one. Leave me alone Binx.”
It wasn’t that you were a bad witch...per se...It was just hard to read these old arcane spells. Half the time they were backward or involved ancient runes or just straight up in Latin. And it was damn difficult to find some of the ingredients these potions called for without hauling your ass to Greendale. And honestly who had the time for that?
You spent the day working on the love potion, stirring absently and adding each ingredient. “Hmmm...rose water…?” you looked around the kitchen and grabbed the vase of sweet peas and tossed the flowers and water into the pot. “Close enough” you raised a brow looking at the color. “I thought that this would be pinker…” you shrugged looking to the next ingredient. “Hmmm, a stalk of smudging sage… aww, crap. I don’t have any more of that either. Binx do you think rosemary is a good substitute for sage?” You could have sworn you heard a very audible groan from your cat. “O...k…oh- I have some rubbed sage seasoning I was gonna use for a pot roast that’ll be good enough.”
While stirring your potion all you could think about was Sweet Pea. He was so strong, fiercely loyal and strangely kind. The first time you met him you were panicked since Binx had gotten out and you hadn’t lived in Riverdale very long. He spent hours helping you look for your cat. He’d even gotten some other Serpents to help, telling you how much his dog Hotdog meant to him.
You remembered it like it was yesterday. You were almost in hysterics, wandering the forest.
“Binx! Binx!” you cried out, the rain was starting to fall harder, and finding a black cat in the impossibly dark forest was starting to seem hopeless. “Binx please!”
“Hey...Hey...calm down. We’re gonna find him. I promise.” He grabbed your shoulders with his strong arms, your whole body shaking. Rather it was the freezing rain or your anxieties he felt the need to protect you.
“You don’t understand-He’s all I have. I don’t have any family I only have-”
“I won’t let you be alone ok? I know you don’t know me...But family is everything to me, alright? We have a saying. No serpents left behind...It means that no matter what, we get to our family and we save them. We’re gonna find Binx. But we need you to get your head right.”
For the first time in your life, you felt safe and reassured.
You fell so hard, so fast.
It may have been one-sided, it may have been a distant love.
But it was a love.
Hearing the front door of your cabin open you turned around and blocked the pot with your body. “I’m not doing anything wrong.” you immediately called out.
“Oh that’s not suspicious” Sweet Pea chuckled quirking his brow and making his way over to you. “Why didn’t you join us at the river?” A smirk played on his lips. “I saw you watching me.”
“I didn’t want to get in the way...you guys were having fun.” you fiddled with your fingers, holding the ladle.
“We can have fun with you too ya know.” He looked over your shoulder seeing your feeble attempt to block him. “Love potion?” he read the page of your spellbook.
“It’s not what you think” you frantically waved your hands.
“Oh? So that’s not for me?” he feigned offense.
“N-No..it’s not.” you pouted avoiding is gaze, tugging on your ring absently.
“You know you’re the worst liar right?” he gripped your waist and lifted you on the counter beside your spellbook.
“Why does it smell like chicken?” he shook his head, turning off the stove.
“Oh Crap...was this my soup pot?” you looked between the two pots you had on the stove. Was it a good idea to work on your chicken soup at the same time as your potion? probably not. Could you have possibly separated half your ingredients into each pot? The chances were higher than you wanted to admit.
“Didn’t I tell you no more shortcuts on potions?” he grinned looking at your flustered face, his thumbs rubbing small circles on your sides.
“How do you know I took a shortcut?”
“Because the bouquet of sweet peas I got you are in the pot, and I can clearly see your spell called for rose water and not sweet peas soaked in water.”
“You sound like Binx…”
“Well Binx is pretty smart.” he chuckled and brushed his lips against yours. “What do you even need a love potion for?”
You wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers playing with the hair on his nape. “I wanted you to love me…”
He sighed. “Oh my god-You’re literally my girlfriend”
“But what if you get bored of me…” you pouted and huffed.
“You’re insane” he chuckled peppering kisses along your cheek to your neck. “I love you. I’ll never get bored of you.”
“But-”
He silenced you with a kiss, holding your face in his large hands. His kiss not letting up until you gave in, responding to each movement of his lips. His teeth teasing your lower lip as his tongue flicked against the top of your mouth, enticing the smallest of whimpers.
You pulled away just slightly to catch your breath, your fingers running through his hair as your face warmed in a way only he could cause. “Sweets…”
He could never understand your insecurities. You were beautiful, passionate. Hopelessly, hopeful. Everything single thing you did made him fall harder for you. Like how you could never quite get your potions right but you never gave up, or how you just never had paper, so you’d scribble down any idea onto your arm. His favorite little habit was how you always played with your ring on your index finger when you lied.
He could spend a lifetime naming everything he loved about you.
“I’m yours. Do you get that?” He moved your hand over his heart. “Yours.” His forehead pressed against, so close that his breath became yours as he searched your eyes. “If you don’t believe me then just do some binding spell and bind me to you.”
“Sweets… I can’t” you caressed his chest, moving your hands back up to his face.
“Yes. You can. If it’s my permission you want then-”
You laughed shaking your head. “Well first off I can’t because I literally don’t know how. Secondly...I wasn’t planning on using the love potion...I want you mine. Not because of magic but because you love me...”
“I already am...and I already do.” He smirked “If you’re gonna doubt me… Why don’t I just show you how much I love you?” he lifted you off the counter, carrying you into your bedroom. Your carefree laughs, being silenced by his greedy kisses.
↟End↟
☾ Hey, Serpettes<3 I hope you guys enjoyed my first Riverdale scenario. I’ve had a lot of feels lately and I haven’t written in almost a year. I made this blog to kind of organize all my overwhelming thoughts and if you like it please let me know <3 I’d love the feedback
I was planning on making this a series of one shots staring my witchy mc
#sweet pea#riverdale#sweet pea x reader#sweet pea x oc#sweet pea x you#sweet pea imagine#sweet pea scenario#sweet pea scenarios#sweet pea imagines#sweet pea fic#sweet pea fanfic#sweet pea fanfiction#riverdale serpents#southside serpents#sweet pea fluff#sweet-pea-fluff#witch au#south-side-coven
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I am mad at my biological father... People in Milwaukee have strong spirits but they don't test or discern from whence these spirits come (Satan); they have a kind of 'anti-a'ga'pe' that wants to send people to Hell. I finally got fed up and started cursing or at least confuting in my head and heart, wishing there would be terrorized for messing with me / my soul. I want them to be chastened. In what universe is it OK to antagonize someone's soul rather than build them up / edify? It's Babylon America: commerce is king, pornography is the supreme teacher(?), media is religion, movie-theaters are temples. All this time my 'father-in-law' was trying to teach me the American way of lying to the civil authority and medical professionals...
A while back I took stock of 'our' old family home and realized in some ways my biological parents are not that bad. I told my biological father as much and he got even more mad / contemptuous of me.
Do I not assess the man properly?
Reddit got mad at me for saying 'social form' and some Christian on Twitter tried to 'nope(?!..=|)' me for saying I prayed Sec. Pompeo will be President. 'No room in the Kingdom for phony Christians.' What's phony about defending the faith worldwide?
Paul Washer of HeartCry Ministries extols the authority of the African father and the son kneeling before him but Caucasian American dad-son relationships are not that way in my experience. Once I bowed to my dad but it didn't mean much. Once he bowed to me after my (near)-suicide-attempt in Korea and that did mean..
Anti-racism seemed like an important concept to me but then I thought there are so many people who just wanna get stuff and if I met Ibrim X. Kendi in real life he's probably be cordial enough but not hesitate to unlease looters and rioters against me for his vision of the greater good not to say communist-disintegrationist-chaoticist utopia.
Everyone in Milwaukee seemed to be mad at me a while back since the story of me in Korea at the high school was not 100% storybook. 'Oh David James Johnston he fell in love with his 16-17-year-old student, but realized they are being left behind or the Korean War is really terrible and they're all in danger up there then some things happened with the faculty and he tried to kill himself.' That is not totally inaccurate but I wasn't 100% the depressive melancholy young prince over the last 9 years. I had some ambitions and I studied a lot and I also had bad habits like smoking.
I got a short-sleeved white polo shirt at the department store and lost a bit more weight. I am around 5'11 165 I would guess. I really have to make sense of my cardiac condition although hopefully it was acute / idiopathic from the Pfizer vaccine. What scares me is that I had a foreaugury or prophecy(?) of it in 2016 when I felt something like a powdery liquid running down behind my breastbone at the same time as when I was walking around Lake Park in terror of Koreans from the past coming to kill me, angel soldiers, 'the stars throwing down their tears,' the tiger of wrath, and also, feeling like God was feeding me something without having to eat.
I still haven't read all of Blake's 'America: A Prophecy.'
*
The psychiatrist whom I respect offered or 'ordered' me Prozac last week and it made me think. I feel almost like the Boomers saw Millennial children as having no souls. My parents wanted to send me to Hell. My mother always used to speak about 'Rosemary's Baby' and when I was young I ran around with a red cape in a strawberry patch. My mother told me this when I was in the mental hospital in 2013, afraid of the color red and not wanting to tear my chicken sandwich since I thought that it was metonymic(?) for tearing the Scripture rather than swallowing / appreciating it whole.
'We Boomers worked hard, stopped the ['totally causeless not trying to help anyone'] Vietnam War, Civil Rights, moreover weathered the traumas of JFK, MLK, RFK assassinations; ergo we earned the right to treat our daughters as sex-slaves and fire out our sons in order the better to take advantage of our neighbors' daughters whilst also amusing ourselves by medicating and psychologizing our kids rather than loving them and tending / nurturing / ministering to their souls.'
I didn't take the Prozac but I did think of (Ms. / Artist / [Singer]) Kim Taeyeon - 'Love in Color' is my favorite song of hers which makes me think about abortion-culture in a way and how 'too many choices' can destroy or over-modulate the distance or scuff and wear down the love in a relationship - and bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2012 and suffered manic symptoms for most of my childhood. I felt in the hospital that one possible 'aetiology' or origin / backstory of bipolar is knowing that people out there want to kill you; or even, damn your soul to perdition / Hell / everlasting eternal conscious torment for displeasing them or going against their norms / expectations.
My diagnosis was later jacked up to schizoaffective / bipolar schizoaffective, then nearly 'crossed the ionosphere' into schizophrenia, and is now back to schizoaffective thanks to the wonderful, integrity- and probity-filled psychiatrist, who was also the only person telling the truth and not being a corporatist tank-driving-vehicular-manslaughterer at my commitment hearing where Father in Law lied to a district judge and the justice system treated me like a second-class system. The ONLY person whose yes was yes and no was no.
I still think sometimes about 'the condition of fiction.' I wish I could develop my more scholarly ideals sometimes rather than writing in this 'free' style as I don't really like freedom I like formality and rules.
I miss []. I used to see so many colors and I saw this person in my mind's eye / Spirit when I met her online; but yesterday I felt like I just saw 'dark red.'
*
My brother is really rich (from Data Science)... I need to mend fences with him... I feel as if over the years I might've had mixed motives in 'taking him under my wing.' We had a bad relationship when I was young and I even stole money from him a couple of times. I also tried to catch him looking at pornography online rather than rebuke or chastise or plead with him not to, for courting death and failure. I just wanted to embarrass / shame him.
I helped him get a job shortly after the Great Recession and I guess some part of me falsely believed he owed me a favor for that.
I sent him many books over the years.
After my initial diagnosis of a possibly disabling mental disorder my mother told me he had said that I could live with him if I needed help but that no longer seems a possibility - in fact he said, 'I never said that.' I was worried since I'm weak. Hopefully God willing I can get back to where I was a couple of months ago and actually execute sth like the description of the educational administrative job that I was offered.
I came to a point in my life lately where I no longer know whether something is destiny. When I took the HS job in Korea - maybe the biggest decision of my life - I was confident. But in the last couple of months has been a tempest or fog of war or I simply made so many decisions I don't recognize myself completely.
I want to work on 'Leaving Babylon' or 'Leaving Milwaukee' or 'Leaving America.' There are or seem to be good Christians in Milwaukee but why live in Babylon - commercial empire worshipping all kinds of false prophetesses, porneia, objects, death, child-rape, abortion, post-partum abortion, automobiles, meals, brands, money / Mammon and other 'stuff' Pastor Timothy Keller calls 'Counterfeit Gods' (to say too little since they're actually often demons from Hell)...
I'm not sure how to write it without penning distracting trash that would give wannabe writers bad habits and make naive readers think they know more than they do.
My net worth is about 2,000 dollars but I want to give it away just because I'm mad. I thought about selling my Lenovo X-1 laptop since it's Chinese Communist poison / curse, I know it's hacked by Huawei or whoever through a nano(?)chip, Father in Law tracks with AI... I heard the new Samsung smaller notebooks have around a 17-hour battery-life.
Milwaukee's Child Protective Services appear to be some kind of CCP-derived 'metaphor-joke.' Amber Alert a child has been kidnapped in either a silver Kia or a Chevy Impala. You can mount a plate-reading AI-camera on a 50-dollar drone easily...
I'm applying to a job in Korea. I have no idea if I'll get in. It is in my favorite neighborhood, and I liked the video of their staff.
This would be a 'redemption-arc' for me. 'I am so exciting.'
I don't know if it can be.
I listened to a few minutes of 'Inferno' by C. Cho. Masterpiece.
Did I ever pay dues like a BigLaw junior associate? Was I ever fast-tracked?
Career-decisions are difficult. I have literal rejection-demons, I think, or uncertainty-demons. Maybe it is Belial himself: sensuality plus intellectual abnegation. Like I want to pretend the Spirit isn't there.
Other people also suffer disappointment-demons, I feel. Loss-demons.
Understanding others can be challenging, and the fun of it, moreover, is overrated for some people. IDK if I can ever.
And too, some people, once you understand them - when they realize you understand them - become shameless. They get more seared-conscience than ever, like the only reason they were ever acting good was to save / maintain face. 'Buyaolian.'
In past I tried to be all things to all men but lately I ended up trying to be 'Chinese mistress' to someone in a bad way. I had already tried 'Japanese daughter, daughter-in-a-box.' I don't know why I don't try 'son' except it makes him fake more than usual, that I know of.
I felt praised like a daughter when I got praised; although maybe it is just me.
'Hello Kitty is a girl,' Said the Sanrio person.
I looked at our family cat Ariel the other day and thought, 'my adult daughter Yves from LOONA.'
He used to look like a manly lion, like Jesus even, the Lion of Judah.
Cats are feminine.
I would get a cat but I just want to teach and write.
This cat seems at peace; he no longer overeats nor conversely is hyperthyroidal and thin / 'dried out.'
I miss the cat Pukah from down the way, who was fat and 'crepitant' in her voice-sound. I took care of her for pay and bought some Audiobooks with the 'loot' or 'lucre.'
I honestly have a theory about Koreanness I don't like to share called 'Han Death Runes' that says some people see Koreans - women and girls - and just want to rape and beat and kill them. They just do. Japanese soldiers / officers / the entire government did. Doubtless Chinese did before that. Korean men did too. Caucasian men do now. Other people look at babies and want to kill them - not a joke, empirical Science has recorded it; Saint Augustine some 1600 years ago developed the category of Original Sin.
For a time I was convinced that ShowerThoughts on Tumblr was the Korean girl whom I attempted to save from attempted sex-trafficking by implying she should work hard in tenth grade and learn about [AI, IT]...
I am interested in helping orphans and other young people; today in lieu of the Lead Teacher offer I missed out on I applied to some Assistant jobs at Christian private and charter schools and was impressed with the humaneness of the management-questions on the online hiring-assessment. Nonetheless, ‘Blessed Are the Peacemakers,’ and the world will need I think / believe for somebody to prove that it is possible to take care of young people who don’t have good parents such as through a better orphanage-system someday. At least, this is kind of what I dream and daydream about. I think Saint Paul would talk more about older women helping younger women to be good mothers, however, or ‘teaching’ them, whatever that means.
The pro-life cause as this political cartoon long ago pointed out is supposed to be in favor of life far beyond the emergence in to this world as a defenseless eight-pound baby.
*
I feel lately as if I ‘waged a war for peace’ and ended up as the only casualty. I don’t mean to aggrandize myself. I strengthened my enemies and all I got out of it was a clarified love. I hope / wish that this constitutes suffering and not just punishment before Moses for being a bad teacher with abominable taste in student clientele, and also forget to send off graduates with a graceful hail and blessing, maybe a final exhortation and prayer, and let them be they.
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21/12/20
Last night having 69 w Leonardo Di cap
My policeman
Was so tall and warm and funny but witty and t bland also spicy . He reminded me of one the guardians I see during Aaron’s meditation. He’s this like exemplary guy. What I would consider the perfect dude. Funny and strong and tall brave and beautiful in a offbeat unique way. Light eyes dark hair.
I was lost. My friends took cars and were already there and for some reason I chose to walk with Aries I believe and he rose me up so high and pointed to a highway or roads that curved to the right above or just next to the sea. He pointed like the soldier in my dream. I felt so safe and protected and cared for.
20/12/20
Mom and I leaving a white van on a hill or cliff ledge and getting out to go further up the mountain me leaving Aries and putting him outside or to one side to wait
Later a bigger van turned j to a robot
A super super tall Italian policeman who helped me find a place directions
It’s the ska jab thins and mosaics. J’y they are underwater I was going w two more friends one I had an affair with
Dean was mad there was an event with joe or lee
I kept carrying the heart earring in my mouth lest I lose it
Pearls ?
Mama had Lucy she took her and she lost her in Granada . She let her sleep outside and Lucy ran away. Trusting her with a big responsibility? But it seemed like genuine accident
19/12/20
777 briefcase dream
(Dad, money, work, business woman, travel)
7777 next day during Casino
777 on day of car inspection or day after
777= 21=3
7 is spiritual hero’s journey 7 is psychic phenomena 7 is unlocking the briefcase of knowledge through rosemary’s books perhaps is what they’re telling me
My Tom cruise dream
1. I admire him a lot since the Irish America movie. His work ethic. Ability to be convincing no matter what despite being annoying.
2. His name. CRUISE. As in, a long voyage on a SHIP which is what I’ve called the VW a few times.
19/12
Last night I dreamt Arshag either said it or I sensed it telepathically that he wanted to settle and have a family. Not necessarily with me. And I told him that it wasn’t the solution to his ailments or problems.
Later the entrance to a place where I would or could buy the VW. Except it was like a black tent nightclub entrance with gold ropes and a red carpet leading to it. It looked a lot like the entrance to an underground strip club or Soohisticats in London that leads to a stairway. Today my book said underground places can represent the subconscious. I need to access it to find my VW? 😅
18/12/20
O just napped
Dreamt I accidentally had left my patriots jacket in the machine before a wash and I was so upset bc it’s so special to me. Mostly ok but when I made myself try it on it shrunk . Some numbers were faded where it was blue it was now white no vie versa. And the back was now cheap plastic material and you couldn’t see the patriots logo anymore. Then I willed myself to see more and thought of the eagle on the jacket ? 53 on the sleeve . I remembered the last guy who told me how nice it was and I was chuffed he’d never find it online and now mine was ruined I wouldn’t be able to either
10/12/20
Dreaming in another language for the first time ever. “Le rôle de parleur ou commandeur ». Something about being in a chariot kind of position to make demands from others, for others to ‘respect’ or listen to. The car i think.
Something about delivering messages like parcels just like the podcast I listened to before bed. Same message.
8/12/20
Dream yesterday
Sex w two guys unknown. One to my right and another laying down underneath my long skirt. Possibly a period skirt. Think it was a wet dream. Perhaps creative energy surging with no place to go since I haven’t been meditating.
Last night I watched callas kennedy Onassis documentary and dreamt I was on a massive piece of land that looked more like Brittany but was owned by the kennedys. I remember saying the name Rose though it might’ve been bc of the mother. I was there asking for permission to film on their property. It was all very informal and they were all dressed rather casual not what I expected from Kennedy’s but they seemed to be out strolling or hunting with dogs. “Yes should be fine, Rose/someone should be around”.
2/12/20
Dreams
Jeremy again! Being nice getting along being almost flirty again being close. Him telling me which bread he likes (with seeds) and other things I didn’t write down soon enough. He still hasn’t replied to my last email about them. What could they possibly mean?
Something about Arshag which reminds me I can ask him my car q’s.
16/11/20
Last night’s dream: 2 very specific clear images.
First, a falcon. Perched. Alone. With hood so he couldn’t see. No owner but clearly had one.
This is the 5th falcon/eagle in a week not including the ‘one’ we found. There’s something about this animal I need to research or I really have to do that shamanic tunnel technique of finding my power animal. Clearly he’s waiting to give me something I need.
Second, the towers of Cologne cathedral. I even had the exact name. I think of the Manara Tower card with this illustration. Unexpected destructions and break ups. Gothic architecture. Hochi. He was a writer. The club and my time there. The first place my mother landed in Europe. Point zero? When Luca visited. Tower moment. What am I supposed to go back and explore. My time dancing? To write about it? The history of the cathedral? How to move through tower card moments?
Later completely separately. Being a mature student in a high school. Being very literally persecuted by yet another woman. A cop of some sort. Unequivocally irrationally triggered by my energy and person and felt she had to bring me down no matter what. I failed to follow some rules that actually most people were relaxed about but since she was on to me, she caught me and expelled me from the school. I was in her room sleeping when I should have been in class and she hadn’t noticed. And that was that, there was no turning back from her decision, she involved superiors and many others to make sure I would leave. I was sad and disappointed because I was learning and I still had 3 months left in my rent (which I think was here). Again, punishment didn’t fit the crime. It was blown way out of proportion: a Justice card from earlier echo. But then some friends came up with a plan for revenge and managed to make this huge party they knew she’d come to where I was at too with a huge gas mask so she wouldn’t recognise me. I don’t know if she died but she did suffer. Things were burned, evidence was burned. It wasn’t my idea, I don’t think I really cared. Aries and I were already planning our next venture. Lots of sand. Like a Texas Arizona America vibe.
Yesterday it was bizarre and disjointed, the kind that doesn’t seem to make any sense whatsoever. There was a Russian kid who looked pretty much like the Russian contestant on master of photography. I had to babysit him kind of and he was following me around and waiting for me everywhere. We went to the cinema where I spent 300€ in the kiosk shop on food and god knows what else, it felt justified and I just swiped my card like I wasn’t worried at all about money. It didn’t feel frivolous or reckless. He helped me with my shopping bags. It wasn’t romantic. I think my mom was driving us around? I had to choose between two movies to watch. One was like a romantic thriller with pinks and purples in the poster like a twilight type deal but I chose the more normal romantic Indian movie and there were huge queues at the cinema (despite the restrictions) with tons of people at the gate. Huge crowds and everyone was black because all the white people were too scared to leave their house because of corona. Then a black girl with boy short hair and tight black sports clothes and she needed my/our help because she said she’d done the shamanic power animal dance but she still couldn’t get the soil on her land fertile enough to build or just the salmon goo soil she had in this massive flat ceramic cauldron. You could make little turrets out of the goo but it never stayed solid enough to hold it would melt back into the soup so you definitely couldn’t build anything. Then, 3rd person sentences about me like it was a Cayce or Akashic reading saying I had “wholly embraced” all the angel information recently and that they were happy about that and “she may beautify cleanse and heal her environs” like it was my special ability or gift I had.
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Days 1-7
DAY ONE [JAN 1 2021]
8:00 AM - I’m back! It’s been a few years since I’ve done this and I thought it would be cool to try again. There are a lot of differences with COVID in my life – I mostly don’t leave the house and we [K and I - same boyfriend] are waiting for the vaccine before integrating back.
10:00 AM - Grab a handful of chex mix, make a chemex, and zone out on the couch for a bit. It’s been a really slow week all around, but good. I’ve gotten a lot of cleaning stuff done and I’m hoping to wrap up my to-do list this weekend.
11:45 AM - Clean the kitchen and shoot black bean burgers for my recipe blog. I started this sometime in 2018 but really picked things up in 2019 and even more so with being home in 2020. I have a goal to turn this into a lucrative side gig by the time I have kids which won’t be for a few more years.
2:30 PM - Burgs turn out great and photograph well too. K and I eat them with a side of chips and salsa and a seltzer.
4:30 PM - K, KP (dog), and I take a 1-mile walk. I do a Pure Barre livestream after. I’m doing the platinum challenge this year (15 classes x 12 months), so my first class of 180 is done! Hah. Decide I want to buy some stickers for the chart I made to track my classes so I buy a pack on Amazon. $7.44
6:30 PM - Make cauliflower rice for dinner with tofu. Put Mamafuku crunchy chili sauce on it that friends gifted us for Christamas.
10:30 - Get a nasty text from my mom about refinancing my house. I want to put K on the title, but it turns out I will get taxed a gift since we are not married (yet!). Kind of annoying, but K and I decide to just wait until that happens. Also my parents suck with anything non-traditional and it is becoming a huge problem in our relationship.
DAY ONE TOTAL: $7.44
DAY TWO
9:30 AM - Make a chemex. Feeling a little off from last night and the way my mom seems to think she can step all over me. Watch Youtube [Dessert Person] and start to edit photos from yesterday.
12:00 PM - Make soyrizo tofu (for me) / egg (for K) scramble tacos for brunch.
1:00 PM - Can’t decide on which color background is better for these burgers and after polling my friends one of them suggests and A/B test. The nerd in me is so down and I build the campaign in Facebook. Open a seltzer. $10
3:30 PM - Ride the Peloton for 10 minutes (Trying to integrate this more into my workouts - I love it, but I love barre more!) and then do a barre stream. I email the studio about the new warmup since I seem to have hurt my lower back from yesterday’s workout.
5:00 PM - K is tired of finding my hair literally everywhere so we decide it’s time to cut it - I haven’t had a cut since December 2019. He chops off a good 6-8 inches. It looks ok!
6:30 PM - Heat up leftover lasagna rolls and air fry some green beans for dinner. Eat a piece of peppermint bark while everything heats.
9:30 AM - Make a chemex. Feeling a little off from last night and the way my mom seems to think she can step all over me. Watch Youtube [Dessert Person] and start to edit photos from yesterday.
12:00 PM - Make soyrizo tofu (for me) / egg (for K) scramble tacos for brunch.
1:00 PM - Can’t decide on which color background is better for these burgers and after polling my friends one of them suggests and A/B test. The nerd in me is so down and I build the campaign in Facebook. Open a seltzer. $10
3:30 PM - Ride the Peloton for 10 minutes (Trying to integrate this more into my workouts - I love it, but I love barre more!) and then do a barre stream. I email the studio about the new warmup since I seem to have hurt my lower back from yesterday’s workout.
5:00 PM - K is tired of finding my hair literally everywhere so we decide it’s time to cut it - I haven’t had a cut since December 2019. He chops off a good 6-8 inches. It looks ok!
6:30 PM - Heat up leftover lasagna rolls and air fry some green beans for dinner. Eat a piece of peppermint bark while everything heats.
8:00 PM - Pour myself a glass of rosé and rummage for snacks - eat a small handful of chex mix and some gf pretzel sticks.
9:00 PM - Looks like yellow is winning the A/B test by about 2%! I build out the rest of the assets for the post so it’s ready to go first thing tomorrow.
DAY TWO TOTAL: $10
DAY THREE
9:30 AM - Chemex and a handful of chex mix. Turn on Raptors / Pelicans game from yesterday. Wrap up my black bean burger post and get it up into the interspace.
1:00 PM - Wow that took 100 years. I’m really trying to amp up my posting signal, and what normally takes 30 minutes took an hour. Blah. Need to get away from screens.
2:00 PM - Eat leftover black bean burgs for lunch with chips & salsa with a Polar seltzer. Set chairs up in the backyard. NY Friend is in town and he and Q are stopping by. Q paid me back the last of the ~$2k he owed me sometime last summer. We’ve remained very close and I don’t feel like our friendship has been affected by this transaction in a negative way!
5:15 PM - NYF & Q head out. Jump on a zoom with K’s family for a bit and then hop over to another one with some of my girlfriends. Pour a glass of rosé.
8:00 PM - Watch the last two minutes of the Suns game (they lost). Need to eat. Heat up a Big Sur Breakfast Burrito for dinner with tortilla chips and truffle hot sauce. Check analytics on black bean burg it’s doing REALLY well. Yay!
9:30 PM - Make brine for ham seitan and check my fantasy teams (I’m in two NBA leagues). Both are on track to win this week!
DAY THREE TOTAL: $0
DAY FOUR
7:00 AM - Pure Barre weekly charge. $15
8:30 AM - Cue that They Might Be Giants Song, I Don’t Want to Go to Work. Pull on a pair of fitted sweats with an Everlane tee. Make a chemex and seitan ham dough. Open my computer and discover that Slack is down. Do some misc reddit things before returning to emails.
9:30 AM - KP barfs on the carpet. Gross. K helps me clean it up. Wash hands and toss seitan ham in the oven.
10:00 AM - Eat siggi’s plant-based yogurt for breakfast. This is by far the best vegan yogurt out there. 10/10 - vanilla is the best.
11:45 AM - My seitan exploded. Damn. It’ll still taste good but I hate when that happens! Eat a piece of rye toast.
12:45 PM - Eat a leftover lasagna rollup for lunch along with the last of the chex mix. Open a Polar seltzer.
4:30 PM - Here’s the part where you stop reading already because of generational wealth - Dad calls and says there was enough money in the family trust this year for every grandchild to get $5k and that he transferred the money into my account. This was a total surprise - we thought last year was supposed to be it. Always eternally grateful for all of the gifts my grandparents have given me over the years and 2021 is no exception. Check my account and see my stimulus also hit today. What a day to be alive.
5:30 PM - Do a Pure Barre live stream, take a birdbath, and get ready for the grocery order. We order Instacart every 2.5 weeks and it’s always a production to wash and put everything away. In this order, we get frozen burritos, tofu, tortilla chips, riced broccoli, real cheese, vegan cheese, frozen corn, plant-based yogurt, cloves, low carb tortillas, bread, onions, scallions, bell peppers sauerkraut, pickles, relish, vegan butter, sprouts, bananas, basil, green beans, vegetable bouillon, chickpeas, oranges, romaine, grapes, clementines, black beans, vegan mayo, broccoli, potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, thyme, rosemary, cauliflower, garlic, lemon, celery, cucumbers, limes, jalapenos, apples, horseradish, leeks, cilantro, marinara sauce, dark chocolate, frozen peas, olives, BBQ sauce, salsa, pepperoncinis, mustard, lasagna noodles, & lemon juice. $324.11
8:15 PM - Finish up seitan ham and roast potatoes to go with veggie sandwiches. We eat these at the start of every grocery run and they have Dave’s Killer Bread, Vegenaise, vegan cheese, seitan ham, cucumber, onions, red bell pepper, sprouts, romaine, and red wine vinegar. So delicious. Pour a rosé after dinner.
DAY FOUR TOTAL: $339.11
DAY FIVE
8:15 AM - Lay in bed thinking about the generosity of my grandparents. Decide to put $3k of the money into my investment account, $1k into HYSA, and put the last $1k off to the side for wardrobe improvements – I lost some weight last year and NONE of my clothes fit. I have 4 dresses that are work-appropriate and the rest - I gifted to friends and others in need. For the most part, I’m waiting until COVID winds down and I have to be in public again before buying much just in case my size changes again.
9:00 AM - Chemex, banana and a clementine for breakfast. KP seems to be feeling better today.
12:30 PM - Make K and I salads for lunch with romaine, cucumber, bell pepper, tomato, chickpeas, red onion, and cashew ranch. Open a Polar seltzer.
2:00 PM - Yard guy texts me and says he never got December’s payment. He says it’s totally chill but it’s absolutely not because he did a crap ton of work on our side yard. Pay him plus an extra $20 immediately and schedule something for the weekend so he can get the rest of the leaves out front. $180
3:00 PM - Last night I found the DDR subreddit and honestly couldn’t be more happy. I LOVED the game and still have my gear from middle school. I drop in the shed to find my mat and dust it off to use for later. Also eat a handful of gf pretzels. Venmo my old coworker for a joint bday present for another old coworker. $25.30
4:00 PM - Work is finally slow so I change into my exercise clothes early and do pure barre livestream. I make it through the entire workout uninterrupted and try DDR for the first time in a hot minute.
5:45 PM - That was SO fun. I played for 30 minutes. Did mostly songs on standard but had way better stamina than other times I’ve tried to pick it back up again when I’ve been extremely out of shape and couldn’t really keep up + light songs are boring so this was just a treat.
7:30 PM - Make leftover bean, rice and cheeze burritos for dinner with chips and homemade chile de arbol salsa. Drink a glass of wine after.
DAY FIVE TOTAL: $205.30
DAY SIX
8:50 AM - I slept through my alarm? Or turned it off. Weird. My butt is so sore today from yesterday’s workout. Make a chemex. Eat a banana.
10:00 AM - Have a call with a mortgage loan officer and give him the official green light to proceed with refinancing my house. Interest rates are so good right now. Shortening my loan by 4 years and mortgage will only go up by $20! Give the guy my card number to pay for the appraisal and credit check. Goodbye stimulus. $658.66
12:30 PM - K turns on the news to watch the Trumpers protest. I make a salad for myself for lunch and toss one for him in the fridge. Attend virtual therapy. Got some good things to think about and am energized after. Therapist doesn’t take insurance so this is OOP. $90
2:15 PM - Tune into the news. What a giant cluster. I don’t have much to add to the conversation. I’m disgusted but not surprised. Eat 2 clementines and a handful of gf pretzels.
5:30 PM - Do a barre livestream. Start to catch myself feeling a little wonky halfway through and make a nuun. Perk up after 5 minutes and finish strong.
7:00 PM - Make veggie sandwiches for dinner with miso butter broccoli. Watch the news for a while, finish a book about abusive partners (I grew up with a lot of abuse and still deal with it from family members who suck), pour a glass of rosé and eat a couple chocolate squares and a few sweedish fish.
12:30 AM - Fall asleep on the couch. At some point I wake up and sleepily eat a few mini pretzels on my way to the bedroom.
DAY SIX TOTAL - $748.66
DAY SEVEN
8:50 AM - Sleep in again but this time on purpose. Make a chemex and eat a banana and two clementines for breakfast. Make an effort to drink water too.
10:00 AM - My back has been feeling really bumpy lately and I think I need to get that layer of bacteria off since my regular cleanser isn’t cutting it. Buy a bar of zinc soap from Amazon. $14.04
1:30 PM - Eat K’s salad from yesterday so it doesn’t go bad with a Polar seltzer.
4:00 PM - Work has been wild today. Lots of calls. Good progress, but not so much for a major report I have due soon. Hopefully I’ll be able to finalize it tomorrow so it’s off my desk. Eat some grapes.
5:30 PM - Ride the Peloton for 10 minutes and do a barre live stream.
7:00 PM - Rinse off, do the dishes, roast potatoes in the oven, make the last of the black bean burgers for dinner. Spend the rest of the evening working on the header and footer templates for this project, reading Remain in Love, and watching NBA.
DAY SEVEN TOTAL: $14.04
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