the “this character is insufferable” to “this character is literally me” pipeline strikes again

"Qui-gon traumatised Obi-wan!!"

Bold of you to assume that Obi-wan Kenobi did not immediately turn around and traumatise him back. Obi-wan does not have daddymaster issues his master has padawan issues.

He returns from MelidaDaan with the power of being 14 (derogatory) and excessive weaponry on his side. Qui-gon's being called by the teachers cause his padawan is teaching the other kids how to make shivs and also unionise. He's sneaking off to the lower levels to hustle sabbac games in order to buy tiny blasters he can keep in his tunics and boots.

When Xantos breaks in to the temple Obi-wan tells him that it's frankly embarassing for him to have had Qui-gon Jinn of all people living rent free in his head for so many years.

I love perfect court AU stuff if for no other reason than Kevin and Jean are like 6’2” and Neil is 5’3” but he is 100% always more willing to start and finish a fight than them

imagine one day you’re on your third flight of the day doing your silly little flight attendant job and you’re exhausted, and ready to be home, and you’re smiling and dissociating as your greet passengers as they come on board and suddenly in walks jensen ackles, dean winchester himself, and he smiles and says “thanks” as you hand him a silly little disinfectant wipe. You proceed to hand the basket of wipes to your coworker as you rush to the bathroom to have a full blown panic attack because DEAN FUCKING WINCHESTER is on your flight and you are going to have to talk to him and interact with him and be professional and pretend you aren’t having a meltdown cause you would know those eye crinkles ANYWHERE. Imagine you’re taking dinner orders and you’re repeating to yourself in your head “be profesional, smile and ask for his order, just breathe” and he proceeds to order the cheeseburger and a whiskey neat and your brain short circuits and in your most sarcastic tone out of your mouth comes “yeah sure thing dean” AND THEN YOUR BRAIN EXPLODES CAUSE YOU JUST SAID THAT OUT LOUD TO JENSEN FUCKING ACKLES!!!!! Anyways he laughs and says “my wife says that all the time” then you proceed to die and blackout and work the rest of the flight on autopilot yeah imagine if that happened 😅

i don’t even fucking care

i like thinking about how all the versions of frank i know are so gentle with civilians in a certain way. its always "it was my pleasure", "youre safe im not going to hurt you" and "just stay still youre fine" while hes defusing an actual bomb. its always we cant shoot at the strip club because the workers are going to get injured and we cant have that above most else. the punisher is big and scary and kills people without a second thought but if you didnt ask to be there and are just a regular guy wrapped up in situations way beyond you he is also so gentle and its driving me insane

I will laugh so hard if it turns out that John is making a sincere effort at being a decent parent and it's such an awful outcome for Gideon that I feel like it's plausible. He's giving off such man who thinks of himself as a good guy confronted with oops baby vibes.

(1)gay fish be upon ye

If Megatron was on Earth in Optimus' team during the Galvatron debacle

Optimus: *rips off Galvatron's head*

Soundwave, Arcee, etc.: *gaping at Optimus committing this act of violence*

Megatron: *breathing heavily* "Oh no Optimus that's horrible you need to uh" *clears throat* "I mean you're not supposed to commit war crimes that's" *bites his lower lip* "I mean it's cool that you killed a fascist but you know, ethics and all" *pressing his legs together*

Football! So cool!

Just think. In just a few days we will get both new art of Genesis AND a chibi version of him as well. Theater kids around the nation will squeal and bow in reverence to their terrible trash king. The old guard of haters will wail at the sky and gnash their teeth in fury and anguish. The salt will flow everlasting. All at his arrival. All as is the natural order. All as it should be.

that last post reminds me of how, similarly, it drives me up the wall whenever fandom (esp with regards to timkon) portrays kon as completely and utterly spineless and intimidated when it comes to bruce. (i mean, i'm not surprised, bc this comes from the same place as the content where tim is a fainting victorian maiden who needs to be protected by her strong stoic owner i mean father, which is definitely not a homophobic trope rooted in misogyny at all, but. that's a complaint for a different post.)

like, bruce's relationship with kon has admittedly been done differently by different writers and all, but at no point has kon ever backed down to him. during hypertime arc, bruce is cordial and even warm, in his way, as they send kon off:

later, towards the end of superboy '94, when kon and cass get into trouble and nearly get themselves killed, kon sees bruce being harsh on cass about it and inserts himself to demand he get half the blame and half the punishment, because it wasn't all on her. (i personally think the way bruce talks here is extremely cringefail and shitty, like... let's not make batman parrot racist rhetoric thanks, but. i blame that on writers moreso than the character.)

like, sure, he's a little hesitant (the "s-sir..." gets me.) but not enough to hold back an ounce in telling batman he's being unfair and an ass. he's not a shrinking violet just bc batman is ooo scary.

also coming to mind are:

a) the panels from batgirl (2000) where bruce is being an extremely overprotective and controlling figure over the idea of cass and kon being friends and clark tells him off for this (it's not directly kon interacting with bruce, but feels... relevant, lol, to the topic of bruce threatening kon and trying to scare him off in that possessive, steeped-in-misogyny way), as well as

b) the ones from tt03 where kon goes to gotham looking for tim, runs into bruce and steph-as-robin, and flips out like WHERE is tim, and bruce is just like. use your superhearing and figure it out. (note that he doesn't try to kick him out of gotham just for being there, either.)

i didn't include those last two bc i don't have them saved and frankly this post is long enough as is, but. you get the idea. kon isn't scared of batman. batman even likes him sometimes. and batman trying to intimidate him on purpose is something clark gets mad about.

oh my god can ppl find a reason to ship/not ship something that’s in the middle of a ship war w/o trying to make out the other character to be the worst person in existence? honest to god it’s not that hard to say “this ship doesn’t work for me bcz of xyz” u rlly do not need to go “uhhh actually no it’s not character a that’s a horribly racist asshole who thinks SA is cool (that’s so stupid wtf, they barely did anything), its character b. did u not see how they [smallest thing possible]??? can’t believe the hypocrisy u have going on here…” like seriously PLEASE u do not have to justify urself to this level it just makes everything 10x more annoying

gurathin, thiago, indah...starting to get the sense that if murderbot didn't have any specific person playing the role of "someone i deep down respect who i'm convinced hates me" at any given time, presaux would have to assign someone, for enrichment purposes

I AM SO DOWN WITH THIS IDEA LMFAOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIME STRANGLED OSCAR LIKE BART SIMPSON LIKE "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!!!!!!!" AND OSCAR, INNOCENTLY, "What? I was bored. ^v^"

remember when lucy refused to read those sext messages between jake and sava because she said her nana was watching that true crime episode they were filming, you just know she's her nana's girl. 🥺💗