#oh fuck yeah dinosaurs
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People on aj complaining about the modern day irl money bundles for the 802739263th time like. Did y'all just forget that in order to get a snow leopard, lion, or arctic wolf, you had to buy a 3 month membership gift card before the diamond shop appeared? Like be fr AJ has ALWAYS been like this, don't act like it's just NOW a problem
You could ONLY get these animals with gift cards at that time. Only at Target, too, according to this old jamaa journal! I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's kind of useless to act like animal jam has been "getting greedy recently," because they ALWAYS have been.
#“kids are going to gamble” like they didn't with the dinosaurs?? which you can also buy with sapphires?#idk it really feels like “kids learn about how games work” like this has always been a problem and its certainly not an aj centric problem#yeah the bundles should give you more stuff. yeah you should get 3 coins for $2.99 instead of one. yeah its kind of shitty.#but how is this literally any different from how other games akin to aj operate#like fuck WWs! fuck capitalism! absolutely let them eat shit! but idk it just seems odd only now are people having an issue when-#-aj has pretty much always done this#petpetpark club penguin moshi monsters etc all did shit like this as well#idk. it just seems like a lot of anger is being directed at the coins/unicorns specifically when there's more to criticize abt aj. oh well#faust rants 🔥#animal jam
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Oh you know what? The Raceway construction team becoming so used to Roxy and trusting her so much that they just stop questioning her random bullshit. Walked in followed by several animatronic horses and they're like "oh yeah that's Roxy for you." This is normal. Where'd she get Foxy's bird from? Who knows! Oh hey! She has an actual, living, breathing cat now! Yeah that's fine.
Was disappearing into the dusty void fun? It looks like it was fun. Good for her man, good for her.
#manager like 'WHAT THE FUCK' while the team are like 'oh hey cool a dinosaur!'#they're just not surprised anymore. she sometimes gives them free shit too like. they're NOT complaining#and Cassie loves her! free babysitter! oh they've gone out of the normal network boundaries?#yeah that's roxy for you they're probably fine#they're just so used to her shit within like a month and a half lmao
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It sometimes hits me out of the blue how absolutely batshit INSANE my life is.
#LITERALLY LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE#with severe consequences if ANYONE found out INCLUDING MY PARENTS#Most of my anecdotes sound like a sitcom#Or like. Genuinely concerning.#I'm living undercover like. All the time.#can't walk into the town centre without a suitable disguise I'M NOT EVEN JOKING#Meanwhile I've got about twelve medical/mental conditions fucking up my life#Severe PTSD#A girlfriend who is ALSO living undercover (kind of)#And a leg that randomly clicks out of place#And I'm just sitting here amongst the flames “yeah this is fine”#Oh and my brother is literally a neo nazi and my sister thinks that jesus was born from a dinosaur egg#What the fuck is my life#wtf am i supposed to do#wtf#wtf is going on
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What is the earliest special interest/ hyperfixation you remember having? (Mine was Lilo and stitch which is probably not that surprising)
In media? Probably atla In general though I think it was wildlife? I think mostly big cats, sharks and turtles oh! And dinosaurs of course lol
#I know that I have a book about sharks and other sea creatures that have the pictures as puzzles it's from when I was so small#there was an incident way back when I still went to sunday school where I took my dinosaur fun fact magazine w me and got scolded#not because I was reading it instead of paying attention or anything that asshat just thought dinos were fake and unholy or something#man I can't really remember which tyle of animal I fixated on First but I sure did#I knew a lot of stuff I kind of miss that#I got so SO many turtle plushies at some point I am so sad my big one that has a pouch with eggs got mold in her like genuinely sad#mom: "oh yeah when you were six you were so talkative you'd tell a taxi driver about animals and stuff as well as if you were a grown up!''#me: ''....... that's that's because I was interested on that doesn't that strengthen my point?''#mom: ''no it proves you were actually great at communication and then something happened so can't be autism :)''#I remember being normal about finding nemo too bit less because of the actual movie and more because of the research they put into it#like I got the book from it that compared the real animals with how they are in the movie and watched the bonus features like a lot#especially the angler fish like it scared me at first but I got really into deep sea creatures at some point too#and lions and tigers and onças were just easy to find on wildlife channels#I got my turtle plushies from a conservation institute and I got a bunch of other stuff too#I might as well have bought one of each of everything in the gift shop lol#I used to be able to tell right away which species one was and knew exactly which ones could be found on national beaches#man......#I'm gonna stop for now lol#a tag for asks#no wait actually I have a couple more stories akdhkajs fuck ok#so like I vividly remember going to fairs about these regularly when I was really really small#like every year or so there'd be two events I liked a lot#one was the dinosaur one which would have skeleton replicas some videos about them being wiped out but my favorite part#was near the end where they'd have. buried some fake fossils on sand#and us kids were given proper brushes and everything to play paleontologist#I remember also some animatronics there literally just one in a box where you could input commands cause it was such high tech at the time#I got home with one of those egg things that would slowly dissolve on water and give you a surprise tiny dinosaur too#I saw them on regular street market fairs all the time but they were too expensive to get outside of the occasion#the other was a shark one where you could pet one! debatable ethically now that I'm grown but back then it was awesome!#I know the species and it was a calm bottom feeder one but I never learned it's name in english anyway thank u!!!! this was fun!
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me watching JW3: hey, I know that dinosaur! hey, I know that dinosaur! hey, I know that dinosaur! DIMETRODON???????? hey, I know that dinosaur! hey, I know thaー
#JW3#whenever it got quiet i'd lean over to my dad and just be like#that's therizinosaurus#and he'd be like ''oh yeah?''#and i'd be like ''biggest claws in the animal kingdom''#and he'd see them 5 seconds later and be like ''WHAAAT THE??''#i did this for every dinosaur xD#90% of the time before they even showed up. idk. i can just sense them#''oh hey quetzelcoatlus is about to show up''#''whatー''#*quetzelcoatlus shows up*#''how the fuck''#crisp rat: allosaurus?#me: no you dumb idiot fool that's giganotosaurus fuckin dumbass#girl who's name i never learned: no you dumb idiot fool that's giganotosaurus the biggest land predator ever get your shit together#it was an okay movie i guess. couldve used more accurate dinosaurs since they kept bragging about how accurate they are in the movie#like when fucking pyroraptor was swimming like a fish & still had those weird hands & also flight feathers on its upper arms for some reason#and therizinosaurus looked like it was balding what's up with that#that's supposed to be a full pure blooded theriz but it looks like THAT? no fuckin way my dude#i really hope people don't think dimetrodon is a dinosaur. please guys don't think dimetrodon is a dinosaur#it feels like they were just trying to get as many random dinos in as possible to be like ''we know dinosaurs besides trex we swear''#NONE of them got ANY screen time besides ONE cameo#also it never says how the dinos ended up living wild all over the world. they just are.#10 dinos 1 from each species was brought to the USA & suddenly there's dinos in africa. how'd they get there#the movie seemed like it was just made up of cameos & callbacks tbh#there was just. nothing else. just ''look it's just like in the first movie. look it's just like in the first movie. look it's just likeー''#it was fine as an action movie cashgrab but other than that like. i dont think i'd watch it again for fun
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The Backyardigans was the best children’s TV show ever, hands down.
#the songs are a fucking bop#I may or may not have a bunch of them downloaded 🤪#no I actually do lmao#they are catchy af idc#the dolphin and robot episodes are the most superior#oh and the dinosaur one#oh and the socks one#but yeah big comfy couch is a close second for me#random thoughts#me stuff#the backyardigans#my opinion
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Dino sour cookie >:)
FORREAL???
#never thought of that... love the guy sm but#.#oh yeah little me would've kinned this guy SO hard#i spent hundreds if not thousands of hours playing that one diego the animal guy dinosaur game#i fucking love dinosaurs man
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Tried to find the house my grandparents lived in when i was little for reasons (The Memories) and i got it on the first try???
#i thought it was bigger. that threw me off at first. but the front room windows . . . and the closet. the basement#my grandma had to plants that look like little goldfish in the front room#and there were books in that closet. i remember one about dinosaurs#they had star wars toys in the basement. the ones my dad wouldve played with#and the SHED IN THE GARDEN. i didnt remember that at first but. oh. yeah.#and the garage. i remember eating that “salad” thats just marshmallow fluff and like. canner fruit at#- a family reunion once#this is so scary#theres still magnolia trees in the front garden#[insert cool original post tag]#i didnt remember the kitchen at all which is fascinating cuz i would definitely have helped my grandma with baking. oh well. i was young#they had a big glass cabinet full of things in the dining room. i dont think they own it anymore although i got a lot taller so#it might just be the little one they still own#OH. THE STAIRS#the fucking stairs. ugh. those were awful. they had a two foot tall Christmas nutcracker that was just on the landing year round#i cant see the bedrooms at all. i should be able to#i have. a vague picture but i dont know if its the real one cuz it seems too much like the way i pictured the bedroom in this book-#-that my grandpa read to me a few times#this is so scary what if i uhhhh. idk#i always called it “the house in the woods” but looking back. it really wasnt.#i lived in the city so i suppose that mightve been the most trees i saw regularly
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youtube
#videos#this idiot really said 'theyre prey animals they were made to be chased and eaten' dawg shut up lmao#so are you. get rid of your knives and guns and square up with a lion if you feel like thats true#his logic is really just like. oh yeah if dinosaurs started doing to us what we do to farm animals it'd be fine bc we're just prey animals#to them#lmao fuck offf#dipshit
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Arc survival evolved was an interesting game . Loved the dinosaurs but the players were rlly weird?? I remember some guy trying to court me by showing me his candy cane colored dinosaurs like. Cool dude. I have a mechanical raptor.
#he never said anything rlly creepy thankfully#but he definitely was trying to come onto me#it was so funny at one point I brought it up and he was like WELL I know people who’ve found their partners over the internet!!!#and I was like yeah cool!! this is a dinosaur game tho!!#HAHDHSHRHSF#it’s still so fucking funny to me like dude why are you trying to get bitches here#some players were super sweet tho#I remember starting out on one server and one guy was like#OH SHIT NEWBIE???#and just gave me a quetz#sir if you are out there you are a wonderful person and I wish you well#nebula rambles
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I’m on the second episode of My Adventures With Superman and I KNOW I know, this deserves to be Clark’s show, BUT HEAR ME OUT A SECOND.
Imagine the Waynes didn’t die and Thomas is trying DESPERATELY to buy the Daily Planet from White, but to absolutely no avail.
“For the last time, Wayne, you can have this company when the Gotham Knights win a Stanley Cup.”
“Y’all cheated last year and you KNOW it, White! Come on! We knew each other for 20 years—“
“Not true.”
“You gotta have ONE nice thing to say about me! You saw my charity records? My trip to the Amazon? I found a goddam dinosaur, for Pete’s sake!”
“And you sent it to the Gotham museum.”
“…Well yeah, it looked real pretty.”
“Look, Wayne. I can either give your ego the stroke of the century, or keep Lane and those two idiot interns in check, but I can’t do both. Now get out of here, or—“
Clark clearing his throat, holding two cups of coffee in his comically large hands, “Uh, the coffee machine broke, so I had to run to the store. Is this a bad time?”
Thomas whistling, because what the FUCK. “Christ, boy, how tall are you? How tall is he, White? You a security guard? You WANNA be a security guard?”
“Uh, Clark Kent. Idiot intern,” Clark introduced himself politely despite Perry’s grumbling.
Needless to say, Thomas Wayne is…Intimidating.
“I’ve heard about your research on metahuman physics, Mr. Wayne. It’s brilliant.”
“Oh, that? That was all my boy, really. He’s got all these ideas about reinventing the healthcare system for everybody or something like that. Hell, he wants to invent some bandaids for that Superman fella. “
“That,” Clark blinked, “Actually sounds amazing.”
“Right?. The other day he came to me like, ‘Can I have 30,000 for a research expedition?’ You should’ve seen him in his little lab coat, — cutest thing. Hold on, I have pictures.”
Clark expected a particularly eccentric 10 year not, not a — gorgeous— adult man in what looked to be a great amount of eyeliner and one hell of a scowl. “He’s…” gorgeous, “He seems interesting.”
“Ain’t he? You should meet him sometime. Hates talking to the press, but, I’m sure we can arrange something. “
“Good luck with that. I tried interviewing the kid alone for 10 minutes and Mr. Wayne here kept getting in the way. Probably because he has something to hide.”
“Bruce ain’t really made for the camera, so I had to step in, ya know how it is. He ain’t really the independent kind.” Thomas shrugs. “I know, I know, — you gotta leave em to fly sometimes, and while I bet he’d look cute tryin’,”
Thomas chuckles, but it doesn’t sound amusing. At all. “No bird leaves MY nest.”
—
Clark finds out why Perry can’t prove Thomas Wayne is Batman. It’s because he’s wrong. He’s listened to Batman’s heartbeat before. And Thomas doesn’t stutter.
Bruce Wayne does, thought.
#them ^^#maws#clark kent#my adventures with superman#dc#dc comics#battinson#superbat#thomas wayne#text post#text
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Just some cute headcannons of bbf! Ellie x reader💙
MDNI
-you’re doing the dishes, favourite song blasting, thinking you’re alone so you’re happily shaking ass as you scrub at a plate. you hear a cough behind you and suds fly everywhere as you practically jump outta your skin, turning around to see her
“ellie what the hell!” you laugh as you calm down.
“you’re so cute” she giggles shrugging and reaching into the fridge to throw a grape into her mouth, her eyes scanning your figure up and down making you blush.
-you close your eye’s relaxing into the warmth of the water and scent of almonds surrounding you- KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
“whaaat”
“i gotta pee”
“fuck off ellie”
“i’m gonna piss myself, pleasee”
you make her wait a moment for bothering you.
“i’m peeing” she threatens
“ugh gimme a minute”you cover all your private parts in suds. “come in!”
Ellie barges in and freezes. her eyes are locked onto the soap suds covering you.
“pee ellie” you instruct, rolling your eyes.
“oh yeah” she stutters coming back to reality.
After she washes her hands she leans over you sheepishly and blows on your nipple the suds moving out the way as it hardens under her breath, she leans down and pecks your nipple. “ellieuh” you giggle out and she licks her lips “mmh is that almond?”
“get out ellie” you laugh as you slap the water and it splashes on her.
-indirect kisses is her way of saying she’s thinking of you. Wether that be passing you her joint. sipping outta your glass, sharing chapstick, she even steals your fork to eat her own food.
-movie nights is her favourite as she gets to play with the plush of your thighs under the blanket.
Her hand messages the smooth skin there and you can feel the damp patch grow in your underwear, she pretends her fingers are little legs and they “walk” towards your centre and she grazes your clit. you gotta cough to cover a moan as you squeeze your thighs on her hand to still it and she’s giggling like a slut into her palm.
-she steals your underwear, it’s her way of being close to you.
you walk into the living room where your brother is sleeping and she’s watching some sorta dinosaur documentary while stoned out her face.
“Ellie” you whisper shout.
“Yeah” she replies without turning her head
“Come here”
“Whyy” she whines
“Fucking come here” still whisper shouting.
She grunts standing and walks face to face with you, the smell of weed filling your nose.
You grab her by the shirt dragging her into the next room locking the door and pulling her joggers down. Ellie’s jaw is on the floor thinking she’s gonna get some action. You see your favourite panties, a pretty pink pair with a little silk bow on the waistband clad to her pussy. You look up at her in disbelief “what the fuck Ellie?”
She just shrugs “since your already on your knees..” she trails off
You kiss her auburn trail and pull her trouser up “no, you don’t deserve it”. You’re so gonna fuck her later for being so cute.
#abby anderson#ellie williams#ellie x reader#ellie x black!reader#ellie williams x reader#bbf!ellie#ellie tlou#ellie x you#ellie x y/n#ellie x fem reader#ellie smut#ellie the last of us#abby anderson x reader#abby x black reader#abby anderson x female reader#abby x fem!reader#abby the last of us#abby x reader
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It might be good to learn to get over birds. Being under them isnt especially good
On the one hand, I agree that being underneath birds might not be a good idea because bird poop, but on the other hand, having a bird rest on you is one of the single most blessed things in existence. Also, I've been pooped on by an iguana before so I think I can handle a little bird turd kflsjlgksdjlk
#have you ever hugged an emu? ✨blessed✨#i miss my therapist's emu. she was so damn cute#unfortunately that's the mormon therapist who was queerphobic so i can't exactly go back and pay newt a visit#poor girl. i was one of the few people that wasn't afraid of her#(she's a tame farm bird so i did have a healthy respect for her size and power but i also loved to snuggle her)#i think i was one of her favorite humans#have you ever seen an emu frolick? ✨BLESSED✨#one day im gonna have a pet emu and it's gonna be beautiful#want to be my friend? yeah gimme a second I gotta go grab my fucking dinosaur bird. if they don't like you... too bad oh well#do... do you think hand raised cassowaries are like hand-raised emus#god can you imagine#that'd be the safest house in the neighborhood kjaldkjgdskg#anyways. in conclusion the username still stands
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"this animal is actually a precious sweet intelligent angel despite its completely unfair public image as a filthy screeching pest" is well meaning and all but I think respect for wildlife shouldnt be that conditional and nature isn't here to generate feel good tiktoks or look pretty at the zoo. It isn't even here to ecologically benefit us, it doesn't owe us shit! More importantly you should consider that it's great and awesome when an animal is a filthy screeching pest. You should adore that we have a planet of corpse wallowing barf eating poison slobbering louse spreading hairy ghouls and feathered imps. I hope the sky dinosaurs shit on every car in the world every day forever. I'm glad when we paved over the forest and filled the earth with a labyrinth of toilet water we just made a utopian diarrhea playground for creatures that can chew through power cables. Love that there's a type of bat that can cut you in your sleep to slurp your blood and by the way it pisses the entire time, just pisses and pisses because it's filtering the excess water out of your blood. "Oh but it hardly ever goes after humans!" Yeah well guess what?? It should. Oh wolves are just pretty misunderstood pupperoos and not scary fairy tale villains?? Just because it's rare doesn't mean wolves can't be incredibly dangerous and it fucking rules actually. Based fairy tale villains. Get wolfed dummies!!
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MILF ABBY WITH READER WHO HATES KIDS HC — abby anderson
description — milf!abby, reader who isnt that great with kids, age gap, reader is around mid twenties and abby is late thirties going on forty, smut, mdi !!,
authors note — literally all my creds and inspo goes to @elliespassagerprincess i literally love their milf abby series pls go read it !!
— You and your friends know that you do not have a single motherly instinct in your bones, you and kids do not mix well together.
— This one time you were just strolling while shopping and a toddler came up to say hi to you and you just stared at it wondering what to do.
— If there’s a child screaming at the top of their little lungs you literally give it a death glare.
— You also call children “it” and make everyone laugh every time you talk about a kid.
— But if it wasn’t for Abby’s six-year-old daughter Melanie who came up to you one day at a your local grocery store crying like snot bubbling at her nose and she looked sticky trying to hold your hand you wouldn’t have met your future milf wife.
“Oh, uh hi— why are you crying?” You let the little child grab your pointer finger as you tried to hard to fight your inner demons from the stickiness of her little hand.
“I— I can’t find my mommy.” She used her other hand to wipe the snot off her face, you could feel every nerve in your body cringe. You felt bad for the thing but jesus why are kids so fucking sticky.
You and the kid sat on one of the benches inside the store, you bought her some candy to make it stop crying and it worked. You did inform an employee that there was a lost kid, they spoke on the intercom after telling you that if the parent isn’t here in a certain amount of time they would call law enforcement.
“So, what’s your name?” You pinched your eyebrows together looking at the small being next to you devouring the ring pop like her life depended on it.
“Melanie but all my friends call me Melly.” She gave you a toothy smile well … she was missing majority of her teeth so half toothy smile?
“That’s … nice? You have friends?” She shook her head, her two little braids looked like she got into a street fight.
“Yeah, a lot like a lot of friends, what’s your na—“ She was cut off by a woman’s voice calling out for her.
“Melanie!” Both of your eyes shot up at the… holy fucking fuck she was breath taking.
— You found out that her name is Abby and she has a little escape artist for a child, she hugged you tightly with those giant arms thanking you for keeping her baby safe.
— Abby was truly taken back by how beautiful you are, she was quick to tell you she’ll repay you and managed to get your number while doing so.
— You guys ended up bonding really fast, even though you two were almost complete opposites she was so fascinated by you.
— She invited you over to dinner at her house and fuck was she loaded, not like you were in it for the money but damn must be nice.
— She genuinely found it so amusing how you would interact with Melanie, treating her like a little adult. You weren’t the type to use baby words towards kids you just spoke to them.
— Melanie really resembled Abby to the T, she had her mom’s blue eyes, freckles, the cutest nose but she had blonder hair, you just assumed it was from the dad.
— After months of basically hanging out with them you guys felt so inseparable, you still would give concerning expressions whenever Melanie would do something weird.
— Abby was falling in love you, whenever all three of you would watch a movie that Melanie always picked out and yes you did argue with a six year old about picking movies she would just have the urge to grab your face and kiss you.
— For halloween you bought Melanie an inflatable dinosaur costume with a pink tutu, you literally were crying from how silly she looked holding Abby’s hand.
— Abby was so reluctant to make the first move, scared that she was too old for you but little did she know how much it turned you on that she was older.
— You decided to ask Abby out on a date, you called her up while you were at home, heart beating out of your chest when she said yes.
— The date was at the arcade, cheesy but Abby always won you prizes every time you guys went with Melly. She beat at you literally every single game and being competitive you just glared at her.
— Melanie was at a sleepover at her friend’s home so you and Abby had the place to yourselves, after the date you guys were chilling in her kitchen Abby finally had the courage to kiss you.
“Can I please kiss you?” She looked at you with those pleading eyes, a slight whine to her words.
NSFW mdi NSFW mdi NSFW
— She pinned your back against the counter, her hand cupping the side of your face, the kiss felt so warm but soon became greedy.
— She carried you to her room, your legs wrapped around her waist, arms around her neck as you drove her fucking crazy kissing on her neck like that.
— Abby has a Daddy kink, she had her strap settled deep in your drooling cunt, legs on her shoulder, thrusting so fucking deliciously making you claw at her arms.
“Mmmgh— oh fuck Abby..” Your eyes were rolled to the back of your head, knuckles white from the grip you had on her arms.
“Daddy, call me fucking Abby again and I wont let you cum.” She slapped your face, grabbing it with her hands squeezing your cheeks together.
God this wasn’t the sweet, motherly Abby you knew but some sex god who would fuck you so stupid it left you an incoherent mess.
— She had crazy stamina, had you in every position, face down with your ass up, riding her cock, your back pressed against her front as she spread your legs open drilling your bruised and aching pussy.
— She was so mean, she mocked your moans, bit your skin, slapped your tearful face every time you stopped looking at her. You couldn’t get enough of this side of her.
— She over stimulated you so much you were sobbing, trembling every time she would touch you, your legs shook violently.
Abby had her arms wrapped securely around your thighs, spreading them open so wide. Her tongue lapping you up, sucking on your puffing clit, sliding her tongue inside your sore cunt.
“Daddy please! Too much, s’too much, too much” You squealed, crying out trying to push her head off of you.
— After long hours of her using you, she was so quick to turn her motherly instincts back on. Kissing your face so sweetly, her eyes filled with worry that she pushed you over the edge.
— You reassured her that it was the best fucking sex you’ve ever had. She started a bath for you, sitting right behind you as she massaged your aching body, running her fingers over the love bites she left scattered on your body.
— She held you so tightly as you both had fallen asleep on her amazing bed.
#lesbian#lgbtq#wlw#abby anderson#the last of us#the last of us ii#tlou#tlou2#abby anderson x reader#abby anderson fic#abby anderson imagine#abby anderson tlou2#abby x reader smut#abby anderson headcanons#abby anderson x female reader#milf!abby#abby anderson smut
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yn and toji filming a buzzfeed puppies interview together then getting a question about if they would adopt a dog together 🎀🎀🎀
TOJI FUSHIGURO & Y/N + PUPPIES
⤷ cw: fluff, short fic, cute puppies, toji & yn haven’t exactly gone public but everyone basically knows they’re together 💀
a/n: needed to make this a whole thing bc i love this idea sm 🤭
INTRO
“oh my god!” you squeal as the crew members release six fluffy, tiny golden retriever puppies to where you and toji sit. the puppies immediately run over to both of you, and begin licking all over you knees and hands.
“hey, little guy..” toji coos and gently lifts the dog in his hands, practically dwarfing the small animal in the size of them. “such a little squirt, huh?”
you on the other hand, now have three bundles of pale yellow fluff bundled up in your arms, cradling them like they’re your children. “oh my god, oh my god. they’re all coming home with me, i’ll make it happen somehow.”
IF YOU WERE AN ANIMAL, WHAT ANIMAL WOULD YOU BE?
“easy.” toji begins, smirking. “i’d be a wolf. i-”
in the midst of rubbing the belly of one of the puppies, you snort harshly at his answer, pulling you lips together.
toji drops the smirk and looks at you while he rocks two puppies in crook of his big arms. “what’s funny?”
“toji…you? a wolf? i don’t think so..”
toji scoffs. “what’d you think i’d be then?”
“hmm.. i think.. i think you’d be a chipmunk.”
“chipmunk?!” toji exclaims. “no way!”
you hold one of the puppies up to your face, speaking in a baby voice. “toji would be a chipmunk, wouldn’t he? yes he would! yes he would!”
“i would- you know what you would be?” he starts and you know he’s probably going to say something crazy. “you’d be a pterodactyl.”
“a what!” you cackle, dropping your head onto the floor and laying on your stomach. some of the puppies start climbing on your back. “what the hell would i be a dinosaur?”
he puts one of the puppies on the ground and it rests on his shoe. “pterodactyls ain’t dinosaur actually-”
“ok, toji the palaeontologist, why the hell would be a pterodactyl?”
toji shrug, nuzzling the puppy in his arm. “y’know.. they’re loud..and they got big mouths.”
you gasp. “that is-” you puff your cheeks and start throwing the squeaky toys at him aggressively.
“hey! stop!”
IF YOU COULD ACT WITH ANY ACTOR, WHO WOULD IT BE?
“oh, definitely mikasa ackerman.” you answer. “she’s so talented and sweet.” you bounce the puppy in your arms, one who seems to especially love you and toji. “she’s so sweet! yes she is!”
“yeah i’ve heard good things about her..” toji said. “‘think my choice would be..nanami kento. he’s done good work..seems respectable.”
“wow, really? you’d both hate each other.”
“_____, why are you so negative?” toji asks, faking seriousness. “we would get along. don’t be jealous.”
“jealous?!”
“yeah, jealous,” toji picks up the smallest puppy and it to his chest, stroking its head, “ain’t that right? she’s jealous, right?” he shakes his head at you while shaking the head of the puppy with his hand. “she’s so- oh, that one’s taking a shit on the floor.”
you turn and there it was, a tiny puppy, in toji’s words, taking a shit.
“ew.. i forgot they just did that…”
when the puppy finishes it’s…business, the other puppies run over and start sniffing it.
“oh fuck, they’re about to eat his fucking shit.” toji wheezes, shoulders bouncing m. “their faces just make you forget how fucking disgusting they are..”
“eugh, they’re so nastyy.” you cringe at them, cooing at the puppy in your lap. “but you’re not like they are you?”
WOULD YOU ADOPT A PUPPY TOGETHER?
“yes! yes we would!” you rest the female puppy in your arms. “wouldn’t we, toji?”
toji looks at you, admiring how adorable you look with the adorable, little puppy in your arms. he looks back to the puppies in his arms and lap. “‘couldn’t hurt..”
you shout happily. “toji, we’re taking this one home.” you lift the puppy in your hands to the sky like she’s simba. you look off camera. “can we take this one home? please?”
at the end of the video, you’re hugging toji along with the other puppies. “you’re all coming home with me!”
toji looks to the camera for help
(and that’s how you both end up with 6 golden retriever puppies for pets :))
#🎀.anon cooking#📫.toji#actor! toji#toji x reader#toji x you#toji x y/n#toji x self insert#toji fluff#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro x you#toji fushiguro x y/n#toji fushiguro fluff#toji zenin x reader#toji zenin x you
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