#now that I have rewatched a few of the episodes I realised what haunted me about this show | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ihassheepquake · 3 years

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DC's Stargirl 2.11 "Summer School: Chapter Eleven" has aired on the CW, and I'm here to talk about it

This is gonna be the best episode of the season. How do I know? Because Joey Zarick is back.

I really love that the Shadowlands are in Black and White. It's cute. And how terrifying for Court. One minute she's being attacked by Eclipso, the next she's waking up in a black and white version of Blue Valley.

I SEE HIM! MY BOY!! I'm crying already. Oh, the creepy smiles. Oh no. Courtney, I need you to find a way to save Joey from here. You guys have no idea how happy I am to hear Zarick the Great again. And to watch him do his card tricks! The cuts to the past! She picked the same card, no surprise there. I'm gonna have to rewatch the original scene from last season to see for sure, but it looks like they're doing mostly the same blocking for Joey from that scene, just mirrored with a few tricks. "Are you going to lie to me again" JOEY BABY NO!! Hi, DC, CW, whoever. I'd really like the buy that Joey card right now.

Okay, before I move on from talking about Joey, I wanna talk about how crazy surreal that must've been for Courtney. Joey's death was a super significant moment in Courtney's character development as well as the development of the show. His death was what made Court 1) realise the real, actual consequences of being a superhero and 2) was what motivated her to make her JSA. And he was, as far as we know, the first person she ever saw die. It was hugely traumatic for her. And now to see him again, like this too, must be horrifying. She has to think she's actually dead right now because she knows all three of these people are dead. Okay, I'm done for now. But expect more Joey posts from me in the upcoming days.

Principal Bowen & Isaac, more people she knows are dead. The reunion with Cindy and the symbolism of Courtney's blood being the only thing in colour. And now the return of Dragon King to haunt Cindy (just like Joey was here haunting Courtney, I'll never shut up about it).

I like this explanation of the Shadowlands.

Courtney's back in her childhood home, that Christmas when everything changed. What it must be like for Courtney to hear such shitty things from her mum. That's really, truly awful. Okay, this dialogue from Cindy about how Courtney sees the world in black and white. I wonder now if the Shadowlands aren't black and white for Cindy. Is that a literal visual for Courtney?

I love that Charles McNider is so far, like, one of the best of the old JSA. It feels really fitting. Like, this Dr Midnight, Johnny Thunder, and The Flash are the old JSA members who we've seen as like, actually good people. Except for Pat if we count him. He was also cool.

Jennie is probably the most powerful of the new JSA, which I love. I want more of her. I'm really hoping the set-up they did with Mr Bones last week is a hint into season 3's plotline.

I'm always a big fan of complex villains. And The Shade coming to see McNider and grieve with him is really beautiful actually. Last season we dealt with a fair amount of black and white in terms of morality but this season, the shades of grey has been the underlying theme. Obviously (hopefully), we're not going to get a Shade redemption, I think that would ultimately undermine the point being made about that. And I hope Courtney, Yolanda, Rick, and Beth take this lesson they're being taught to heart. The world's a lot less simple than it seems.

Barbara you bad bitch. "Then kill me" fuck him up! This is why Barbara is one of my faves.

No matter what, Courtney will always save Cindy. And if that isn't queer coding, I don't know what is. Make them girlfriend CW.

Shut the fuck up you stupid Eclipso child brat!!

Cindy with a heart is my favourite Cindy. She really can feel things like a real human being.

AND THE OG DR MIDNITE AND THE LESBIANS ARE BACK IN THE REAL WORLD!!

I've decided that, if given the chance, Charles & Richard would've been gay for each other.

Cindy's gonna team up with the JSA to kill Eclipso, as she should, Yolanda is gonna be back. We're in full pre-finale mode people! This is gonna get good. Join us again and see what happens next week with Stargirl 2.12 "Summer School: Chapter Twelve"

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elizabethrobertajones · 3 years

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SPN deserves flak for handling sensitive topics irresponsibly, especially since it has a teenage audience. Castiel confessed that he's suicidal in season 8 (written by dabb!), the brothers were in a toxic codependency, Sam was sexually harassed by lucifer, a little kid -Jack- was driven to self-harm/suicide. and none of those issues were addressed or solved in 15 years. instead, the message was that people with troubled pasts could only "be forgiven" if they sacrificed their lives (Jack) or died

Yeeeeaaaah that’s something it was always getting criticism for consistently as it went along as a case- by-case basis of the treatment... There were some woke episodes later on with the newer writers which did handle some subject better but honestly usually in a motw way with side characters proving better examples to the Winchesters’ messed up coping.

I guess one thing that I was leaning on a bit was that if it was all going somewhere that the resolution would be okay because the writing was aware that they did have these issues. For example, Carver era was really heavy on the codependency stuff but it was painting it in such a bad light that it was beyond romanticising it in any sense and the message seemed to be that the writing wanted them to heal. I personally think this was healed a fair amount over Dabb era along the way... But the finale as far as I can tell let Sam move on with his life and break the cycle or whatever, but also was so wildly unsatisfying on every front it probably would have been HEALTHIER for the fucker to go straight to Hell and petition Rowena for giving her an eternity of foot rubs in exchange for Dean back. Just so he could be like “what the hell what that, you nearly married that BLURRY WOMAN? What’s WRONG WITH YOU”

(I don’t know the fine details on this death scene to know or care how the Sam and Dean relationship wrapped up because it was clearly garbage and in my head they’re both still happy and alive and have a normal freaking relationship :P)

In any case, I know so much was carried by these characters that, to be serious for a moment, I don’t know if they ever could have lifted the whole weight of what we needed them to be, even in an ideal end. But I do know that by giving the show such a shaky resolution, especially with bringing Cas back off screen and not giving any real closure and telegraphed final scenes with anyone - i mean even the love confession and empty yeeting feel like Dean’s supposed to have another moment with him later and it doesn’t feel death scene-y enough to me because of the complete lack of closure the confession gives it by opening the new possibility moments before death - vast amounts of character work which could have HELPED bring some of these things to a conclusion just never showed up, it seems.

Like, Sam’s Blurry Life With The Blurry Wife seems like an even worse state than his season 7-8 hiatus time with Amelia because at least she had a FACE and BACKSTORY and LINES ON SCREEN. At least she and Sam talked through their issues and related to each other and they had a reasonable reason for it not working out and they got to see what they both needed from each other at the time and what they couldn’t get from each other moving forwards.

Even ignoring that Sam got the perfect endgame with Eileen, a Generic Blurry Wife ending for him is such garbage because so much of his bad coping is bound up in his hiding and running away... Just because Dean once waxed poetic about wanting Sam to grow old and boring and live a normal life doesn’t mean it’s what his character was best suited to or what he would really have been comfortable with long-term, especially when as far as I can tell Dean dies and he just up and abandons his hunting life and goes to be normal. If for garbage reasons you were ditching Eileen a happy ending for Sam would still probably involve a hunting-connected life, even if it was a montage showing him holed up in the Bunker being the new Bobby while nothing else changed and Dean was having bad drinks with the original Bobby in Heaven. Like just that one change would make Sam’s journey make sense that he stopped running away and accepted who he was and that the trauma shaped him but didn’t break him, and that he had moved beyond the harmful relationships with women who he valued for their normality, who he then told nothing about his life, bottled up his trauma and dismissed his past and then lived a sliver of existence right on the edge of sanity and coping. Blurry Wife might have the benefit that theoretically the cosmic nonsense is over and Sam might not be called back to that battlefield but the toll on Sam’s life from his history can’t just... disappear overnight. Literally his entire mental health arc which was based on his trauma and addressing it and overcoming it, and how Sam learns who he is beneath it and how it has made him uniquely Sam and stronger for it is all washed away.

And that of all the examples you mentioned is like the only one I can talk about with any coherence without devolving into screaming about how better endings were owed all around. If the characters are denied meaningful narrative closure than everything they’ve carried with them, from just the way a plot will feel resolved or not, to all the stuff we reflect onto them about our own issues that we see in theirs, ends up dumped to the side and it leaves painful holes.

I don’t think a better ending in terms of just wrapping up the show as it seemed to be on track to, until it abruptly wasn’t in the finale, would have ever fixed all of it or meant enough to some of us when it comes to things we’ve carried alongside the characters for a long time. Like I doubt even a full canon Destiel ending by their pen could have addressed ALL the issues we put on Dean and Cas and in our explorations in fic and meta and headcanon and crackposts and whatever else, feel like they’d need to talk out or resolve to be fully content on screen with each other. But there sure were things that could have been done with a few meaningful lines here and there and obviously Cas visually on screen with Dean at the ending that would have made things easier, or provided the paths to seeing these things resolved in our ongoing imaginings.

A lot of the finale pain seems to be the abrupt wall that the story just STOPS like that and so much of this is all left hanging and we’re all feeling the pain of many things that we forgave the story for along the way because there was a trust in the way storytelling works that we’d get that catharsis and closure at the end, and that all the painful stories we were told were being told for that reason. Like, the main reason to write painful stuff and dark themes is to explore it and look right at the horrible stuff, but then to find ways to bring it back down and let some of it go. And most of why I’m refusing to watch the end of the show is simply because it sounds like none of what any of us wanted to get out of it actually happened and there were NO paths to get these things we needed out of it. And at which point many of the terrible things that happened along the way now feel uncomfortable in a way that it’s torture porn without any relief or reason for doing it. The feeling is so universal and the descriptions of that last episode so laughably bad on that front that it’s the main reason I don’t want to watch it. Like, I can get a better sense of satisfaction bitching about how it should have ended than I’d get watching it so why would I do that? :P

Anyway. Guess you got me ranting but this really is something I think in hindsight that might make rewatches really awful way back into the show just because you’ll be watching something and realise that for all the character is going through, they’re not going to get a resolution that actually would do anything to make any meaningful comment at all on what they’re going through. So now you’re just watching them suffer for the hell of it? Idk, this fear haunts me >.>

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travel-hopefully · 3 years

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A collective post of everything I watched on Netflix in 2020

I finally found the watch history function on Netflix which I wanted in order to reminisce over the TV/film I watched over the last year, including the good and the bad. I’ve included a little round-up of my thoughts for each, as lockdown has got me with plenty of time on my hands. If anyone has watched any of the below feel free to give me a message- happy to discuss anything!

Travelers (season 3) - this was an unforgettable show with some great characters and definitely put me through hell (in a good way), I am a David x Marcy shipper for sure!

IT Crowd (season 4 & 5) - my favourite comedy show ever, and I mean the UK version

Explained (random episodes) - interesting bite-sized episodes on a variety of topics

Sherlock (season 3 & 4) - it kinda went downhill from season 4...and doesn’t help that there is no season 5 in sight

Unforgettable - must be pretty forgettable cause I couldn’t remember watching, a typical revenge plot romp I think

The Mind, Explained - same as for Explained above, except more pyshcological

You (season 2) - binge-worthy! I love to hate Joe Goldberg.

Don’t F**k with Cats - wow, this was disturbing but so gripping.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle - geniunely a good remake and rather amusing

Sex, Explained - as for Explained but a little more intriguing ;)

The Stranger (season 1) - full of suspense and a good binge watch but ultimately full of plot holes with an unsatisfying conclusion

Gavin & Stacey (season 3) - a classic which I only started watching in 2019

Sex Education (all of it) - comedy gold!

Unbelievable (limited series) - very harrowing, an emotional rollercoaster based on a real-life rape case

Atypical (all of it) - light-hearted and fun to binge

The Sinner (season 1) - it was okay... wasn’t spectacular compared to other similar dramas I’ve seen

Love Is Blind (season 1) - cringey but satisfying

In the Shadow of the Moon - I hardly remember this one :)

Dunkirk - a stand-out historical movie

The Stepfather - typical killer stepfather plot but rather enjoyable

The Super - an interesting premise, but not that super

Saw VI - all gore not much plot

Doctor Who (random episodes) - no words needed :D

Louis Theroux and Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends (random episodes) - I love his style of interviewing - what a man!

The Revenant - a lot of... well, not much

Nightcrawler - it was decent, but something was missing which I couldn’t put my finger on

How To Get Away With Murder (seasons 1-5) - probably my biggest new watch of the year, a rollercoaster of suspense, drama and murder, another season to go...

Ocean’s Eleven - fun but cheesey

Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare - creepy faces and an interesting ending

Eli - it started one way then went another, I wasn’t convinced

Star Trek (2009) - I couldn’t really get into this one...

In the Tall Grass - a lot of running around in grass

Bloodride (season 1) - i loved this, a quirky idea, i binged it

Apostle - intense, a satisfying religious cult horror

The Platform - great idea, not sure on the ending

What Keeps You Alive - what happened in this one again?

History 101 - didn’t watch many episodes :P

The Prodigy - a decent child possession horror

Into the Night (season 1) - really enjoyed this, a highlight of the year for me, hoping for a season 2

It - pretty chilling and creepy, but a tad cheesey

Jurassic World and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - the first one has a brilliant dinosaur fight scene, the second one has too many plot holes and inconsistencies to take seriously

Knowing - a Nicholas Cage sci-fi/apocalpytic classic, pretty decent

Stranger Things (random episodes) - i tried to get my bf into the show but sadly he still isn’t much of a TV fan

Miranda (random episodes) - such fun!

Black Mirror (seasons 1 & 2) - another one i introduced the bf to, i got a bit further with him on this one, the very first episode being the highlight

The Last House on the Left - a decent remake, but nothing outstanding

Dark (season 3) - this, my friends, is one of the greatest shows of all time. want a timey-wimey story where everything is connected and has an amazingly satisfying conclusion? this is the show for you!

The Silence - a bad ‘A Quiet Place’

Geostorm - i’m a fan of disaster movies but this one wasn’t in the same league as some of the greats

Panic Room - a mum and kid hides in the panic room when a group of thugs break into the house, it was enjoyable but not all that memorable

Prisoners - a very long film with some enjoyable parts but overall unsatisfying

Girl on the Third Floor - it was okay, i can’t remember much of it

The Woods (season 1) - another Harlan Coben adaptation- not as good as ‘Safe’ or ‘The Stranger’ but still a gripping thriller

Time Trap - a fun time-travel film with some interesting turns of events

72 Dangerous/Cutest Animals (random episodes) - just ‘cause i love animals

Slasher (all of it) - some very gory deaths, especially in season 3. quite disturbing but keeps the suspense up throughout.

2012 - a guilty pleasure of mine, realistic or not

Kingsman: The Secret Service - a fun spy film, will be looking to watch the second one soon

Blackfish - this was harrowing, it really made me think, but overall i’m on the side of tilikum

Unsolved Mysteries (season 1 & 2) - watching some of these my jaw dropped, love theorising on this kind of stuff

Down to Earth with Zac Efron (season 1) - Zac is great in this, he seems so chill and literally ‘down to earth’

The Call - I love this film, seen it 3 times now

Contagion - very relatable right now, interesting to see the parallels with todays situation

Next in Fashion (season 1) - i didn’t get too far with this, i found it a little superficial

Searching - another of those internet web-cam based films. decent but not memorable.

Non-stop - another Nicholas Cage classic, this time a suspense thriller

Freaks - as the title suggests this one was rather weird, i didn’t quite gel with it

The Perfection - wow, that was an experience. definitely memorable, even if some characters make questionable decisions...

Extraction - not usually a fan of action-type thrillers, but i actually enjoyed this one, plus it has Chris Hemsworth in it!

Line of Duty (season 2) - full of suspense, a great build-up in the first 5 episodes, but the way they tied it up really grated on me

Insidious - watched this one with my sister. a genuinely good horror film on rewatch with an amazing cliff-hanger

A Quiet Place - another one watched with my sister. labelled a horror but its more sci-fi, either way its a classic. bring on the second film!

The Dark Tower - disappointing mostly.

Gladiator - i’d never seen this before and now i understand the hype- what an epic movie!

Criminal UK (season 2) - didn’t disappoint following the exceptional first season

Venom - a fun comedic marvel film, definitely need to watch more from Marvel in the next year- i need an order to watch them in as don’t know where to start

Our Planet (season 1) - chill David Attenborough to put on in the background

The Equalizer - a great action revenge thriller plot with a badass Denzel

Merlin (random episodes) - who doesn’t love a trip down memory lane with some nostalgic bbc merlin?

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) - pretty scary remake

The Witcher (season 1) - rewatched in order to familiarise myself again before season 2 - i didn’t realise how funny the show was until this time round, gotta love Jaskier!

American Murder: The Family Next Door - this was haunting

The Haunting of Bly Manor - phenomenal, emotional, creepy, heartbreaking - i much preferred it to Hill House

Abducted in Plain Sight - seriously, how naive are the parents in this? i could have a rant for hours about this!

The End of the F***ing World (seasons 1 & 2) - very bingeable, Alyssa makes me laugh too much, i love how relatable the show is

Fractured - didn’t expect much from this consipiracy-type film but it kept me guessing right till the end

The Ripper (limited series) - very intriguing, but the mysogyny in this was shocking

Inconceivable - a typical mother looking for her baby revenge plot but still entertaining

The Midnight Sky - i’d heard rave reviews for this but was disappointed by a lacklustre plot which was sacrificed for award-winning cinematography

Killer Women with Piers Morgan (season 2) - a pyschological interview series which looks into the mind of murderers, rather interesting

May the Devil Take You - scarier and jumpier than i thought it would be!

So 2020 obviously gave me a lot of time to watch a s**t load of stuff and looking back at it i feel like i got a decent amount of my watch-list ticked off! And obviously this is not including shows watched on other media so there’s that too (a special shout-out to the William Hartnell era of Doctor Who which I watched this year on BritBox). In all, 2020 has definitely introduced me to a few new fandoms and progressed my love for others.

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brittie-frog · 4 years

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Haunting of Bly Manor

Right.

I love horror and after spending sometimes days watching video essays on gay history, specifically in (horror) movies and film, I now kinda understand why so with the Haunting series and its gay rep and them not being the villain of the story, I loved it.

(Quick note I have only rewatched the show twice and can only take from my own experience of media)

My phone also knows me so will suggest news stories on things I've recently watched or current murder cases. So it suggested me this story today:

I went in open minded knowing that some people were angry about the ending falling into the 'kill the gays' trope (which I will come back to).

At first it was fine, talking about the ghost story/love story comment and how it relates to the show and has good analysis that I agree with. Then it goes on to basically summarise the show.

It keeps mentioning that all the gay subtext is implied:

why Dani broke up with her fiance

why Jaimie is reluctant to be vulnerable with Dani (before the monologue)

And that there needs to be a “lot of filling in between the lines” to understand their romance despite their practically constant flirting (Jaimie's 'Poppins' for Dani is the cutest nickname) and multiple kissing scenes. However, I digress, it can be sometimes hard to understand certain attitudes to each other at the beginning.

It also states that its like they want on the pat on the back for "making them queer, without making anything about them very queer". I don't know what this means, but I took two interpretations:

That not all queer people need to stereotypically look queer to be and that is a step forward for gay rep (I prefer)

That the creator wants to be celebrated for making gay rep without truely showing their queerness (which I think is pretty false)

Then it talks about the fireside chat and Jaimie's backstory, describing the monologue as "shoehorned" into the scene and "devoid of any mention of her sexuality". This is where the first part of my 10 minute research for context comes in. This is set in 1987 in a small town in England with an American. In charge of England at the time was the famously homophobic Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher that implemented Clause 28. No one in this setting and right mind - especially after being ridiculed for most of her life - would come out to any one, flirting or not, that they have known for at most a month or two. Also, this entire scene resolves around Jaimie's attitudes towards people, and why she's reluctant to get close to people, favouring taking care of her flowers over interacting with others.

Then it talks about Owen and Mrs. Grose having "more meaningful screen time and backstories that continue throughout multiple episodes".

First Hannah. We basically get Hannah's entire backstory in episode 5: how she met Owen, scenes of her working at the Manor (in non-chronological order) and how she died in the first episode. Then that continued into the final episode when she finally comes to terms with her death and her love for Owen to save everyone. We don't actually get much backstory in the way of her childhood or even how she met the family (from what I remember, correct me if I'm wrong).

Now Owen. His backstory is that he grew up in Bly, left to go to France and became a Sous Chef, only coming back because his mum got diagnosed with dementia and he needed to take care of her despite her constantly mistaking him for other people. That is also only explored through Hannah's memories of the interview and the bonfire-side chat.

Those are both sad backstories but you can't call them any more or less meaningful than Jaimie's of in depth about how her and her family were ridiculed and bullied throughout her life and even spent time in juvie. They all have points mentioned in their stories that I would love more indepth on: how Hannah met the family/met Sam, either Owen's childhood in Bly or his time in France and why Jaimie spent time in juvie. But I also realise this is a short series that has to make fleshed out characters and tell an entire story in 8 episodes.

The article then talks about how even the ghosts got an entire episode to themselves when they barely show up. If you look in the background of the majority of scenes you'll see them and personally I really enjoy getting their stories of how they died. However, that episode is about more than just finding out about the ghosts and Viola's life, it’s mainly about what led to her being the first ghost and causing other dead people to stay as ghosts and the origin of those specific words that give a ghost access to an alive person’s body, to help explain the majority of the show. If I showed my friend this show and removed that episode I would have more questions asked than when my mum finished it.

Now I don’t know what to say. I agree there is no law on art so it can be anything and I usually think that the haunting series are in a slightly different universe (it’s how sleep at night knowing that someone can’t be so stubborn they become a murdering ghost) but also yes, trans-roles should be given to trans people more often. However they are actors and their job is to play some they aren’t for entertainment so for the most part I agree with Scarlett about being able to play anything. Also yes the self-congratulatory approach after playing an LGBT+ character when you’re cishet is kinda bad unless you have the full support of the community telling you it was a good portrayal and accurate representation. It won’t be enough for minorities if our representation, that people outside the communities are calling great, are just surface level characters that are just there for tokenism but you can’t compare Bly Manor characters to those types of characters. All of them have so much development and are well done that the majority of the community that has watched the show have no problem with and love their representation.

Personally I love both Theo Crain and Jaimie and Dani because they represent different things. Theo Crain is on a basic level. as a lothario, a stereotypical butch lesbian, constantly hooking up and struggles to actually open up and love people. Dani and Jaimie are soft, domestic cottage core lesbians in a flower shop AU. This is not a bad thing and just because they have a “tepid romance” doesn’t mean it’s a step back. Also more context time:

As said before Thatcher was in charge and heavily homophobic, creating laws to stop people from teaching children about homosexuality since gay sex had been decriminalised recently

It was the middle of the AIDs epidemic. Dani was coming from a country that was doing nothing about the deaths of thousands and going to a country where hysteria about AIDs was rampant but they were doing more, like the ‘AIDs: don’t die of ignorance’ information leaflet despite it not being as huge with 46 deaths by 1984. (That assumes that the AIDs epidemic happened in this universe)

Dani clearly had some form of internalized homophobia before even coming to England because she spent so long with her fiance hoping to feel the way she’s supposed to (I think the ghost of him is her guilt and internalized issues personified as it constantly appears when she’s trying to move forward.)

Also in the final episode it shows that is probably at least some homophobia in America as they kiss in the shop then look outside and go to the back so no one can see. (This could be interpreted as seeing if anyone is planning on coming in so they can escape without having to stop early for customers but Jaimie had already changed the sign to closed.)

Now onto the ‘kill the gays’ trope. Yes this is a huge trope that is so damaging to the community that we’re constantly the ones killed off for views or when their tokenism is no longer important, that is fucked up! However this doesn’t mean that we should give every gay character plot armour, cause that’s also unrealistic, just to please the select few that will call it out as a damaging trope. There is huge difference between say, The 100 killing Lexa and Bly Manor killing Dani as one has plot relevance and brings the story to a close while the other enraged an entire generation so much they started a brand new convention to celebrate queer relationships/characters in media. It’s also not like she was the only one to die, it’s horror after all, Hannah, Rebecca and Peter, the parents and all those ghosts died or were already dead.

Like many of the comments on the article - If all you got from this show was it falls into kill the gays, you have completely missed the entire point of the show.

#bly manor netflix #haunting of bly manor #dani and jamie #just my thoughts #ramblings #this is a product of my frustration

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madame-airlock · 4 years

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Hey there! I was rewatching The Closer and stumbled upon episode 10 in season 7... and there is this scene when Brenda walks toward the interrogation room and the suspect is about to shoot her but Buzz saves her... I was wondering... are you up rewriting this with Sharon and Andy? Thank youuuuu 💜

Hi! Thanks for sending this 💜 It wasn’t easy rewriting the scene but I tried my best. Let me know if it’s okay :D Just a general disclaimer: I have absolutely no idea how the mind works. Every person, I imagine, has a different reaction to traumatic experiences. This is what I imagined although I’m not 100% sure it fits Sharon. I study linguistics, not psychology so this won’t be accurate, but hey... artistic licence. Enough with me. The story is under the cut (if it works), I hope you’ll enjoy it. The part in italics is a flashback. Some of the stuff in here is OOC, but it’s the beauty of fanfiction, isn’t it? Story also available on ffnet and ao3

It all happened so fast that it took Sharon a few minutes to understand what was going on. One moment, she was about to open the door to the interrogation room, the next she was lying behind a desk, with Andy's arms around her, while everyone around them had their guns out. Slowly the details of what had happened came back to her.

"Chief, if you don't mind, I'm going to ask your suspect a few questions." Said Sharon. Chief Johnson nodded and told her it wasn't a problem, so Sharon picked up the case file she had been reading and headed to the interrogation room.

Around the corner, Andy opened the door to Electronics and walked in. "Hey Buzz…" The words died in his throat when he saw their suspect, alone in the interrogation room, pointing a gun at the door. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sharon, and realised she was walking towards that room.

She stopped in front of the door, and opened the case file again to check a couple details she couldn't seem to remember. As she read, she reached down to open the door. She pushed the door handle and in that moment a gunshot exploded and a bullet broke the door. At the same time, a pair of arms went around her and dragged her to the side, and behind a desk.

There was a lot of commotion around them. People had their guns drawn, and she heard screaming and shouting. "Hey, everything's okay. You're safe" said Andy, who was looking around to assess the situation, while still shielding her from the shooter.

Soon most of the noise died out, the suspect was handcuffed and his gun taken away. Andy finally looked down and saw her. She looked shaken, but he knew from experience that it would take her a few minutes to realise what had happened, because of the adrenaline. "Hey, Sharon, are you… oh shit." He looked up and yelled "I need a medic here! She's hurt"

Sharon looked up at him and said "I'm not hurt" Her voice was shaky, and it was only after he said that, that she started to feel the pain in her arm. The blazer was ruined. It was torn and blood has soaked the material around the wound. "Oh..."

Andy rose to his feet and helped her up. He team ran over to them, their worry growing as they noticed Sharon clutching her bloody arm. Before anyone could speak, Andy looked over at the chief and said "I'm going to take the Captain in the break room, away from here. When the paramedics arrived send them there, please"

The chief reassured him that she would and told them to go. Sharon still hadn't spoken, and she was looking around, shocked.

Andy helped her to take off her blazer, trying to be as gentle as he could, and helped her sit down. He closed the blinds, so people outside wouldn't look in and say down next to her. “Babe" Andy whispered "I…" When words failed him, he simply kissed her forehead and moved a little closer. "I almost lost you" he whispered.

It was so strange to see Sharon like that. She wasn’t speaking, and she looked like she was in a trance. Andy was wondering if part of it was also her trying to be strong at work even in a situation such as that one. All he knew was that he was worried. Tears were threatening to fall, so he stood up, went to grab a clean cloth they had in the break room, soaked it in warm water and started to clean up her bloodied arm.

"Andy…" she whispered. In that moment the door opened and the paramedics walked in. The wound didn't look too bad, it was a scratch, really, but it could have been much worse. She could have been on her way to a hospital, or in a body bag. He stayed by her side as they cleaned up the wound, stitching it up and helping her with a sling, kissing her forehead when she would wince in pain. "It's almost over, you'll be okay" he whispered.

A little after the paramedics left, Provenza opened the break room door and asked Andy to go out of the room for a second. "What?" he asked, already hating the idea that he wasn't with Sharon." Flynn, take her home. I'll deal with the chief. If she asks I can explain. I'll tell her to give you a couple days off. Now go, take her home and stay with her"

Andy was surprised to say the least. When Provenza had found out about their relationship a few months before, he had thrown a tantrum at Andy's house while Sharon was there, but had at least kept it quiet at work. Apparently he had come to his senses and realised that he and Sharon loved each other, that it wasn't just a fling. "Thanks, old man. I appreciate it." He said

"Sharon, babe, we're going home" Andy said. He took off his jacket and placed it around her shoulders, trying to cover the wound and the tank top she had been wearing under the blazer. Before they left the break room, Sharon looked at him with tears in his eyes and begged "Can you stay with me tonight, please?" Andy cupped her cheek and kissed her softly. "Of course", he replied with a smile.

Together they walked out and went to the murder room to retrieve their things. They ran into then chief and Andy told her to find Provenza. That he could explain.

Once they got to the car, Andy helped Sharon in and started driving to the condo and as they got closer, she broke down. He held out his hand for her and she grabbed it as if it was the only thing keeping her sane. "Oh god Andy" she muttered before she started to cry and shake. He parked the car in her spot and leaned over to hold her as she started to weep. "Let's go upstairs, Sharon" he whispered after a few minutes.

He held her hand as they went upstairs, keeping her close. Luckily it was the middle of the afternoon and no-one was in the corridors. He quickly opened the door to her apartment and they went in. As the door closed, it was as if everything that has happened came crashing down. Sharon started sobbing, and all Andy could do was hold her in his arms and gently caress her back in a soothing way, to help her calm down.

She could barely breathe. Her knuckles were white and her hand hurt from holding the back of his shirt so tightly but she couldn't let go. She had almost died. If it hadn't been for Andy, she'd be in a body bag. "Babe, why don't we go sit down?" he asked. Instead of the couch Sharon headed for the bedroom. They laid down together and Andy wrapped himself around her, to hold her tightly to him, but still careful of her injured arm.

As she sobbed and he held her, Andy realised that if he hadn't seen her, if he hadn't walked in the break room, she wouldn't be there in his arms. He kept telling himself to be strong. He couldn't break down. Sharon would probably tell him he didn't have to be strong for her, that he too had every right to cry, to let it out, but he just couldn’t. Andy tightened the hold on her and kissed her hair. He whispered "It's okay babe. Let it out. You're safe now, you're home", and kept repeating it over and over.

It took her almost an hour, but Sharon eventually managed to calm down. She wasn't sobbing anymore. There were still some tears rolling down her cheeks, and her eyes were puffy, but her breathing was back to normal and she had loosened the hold on him. All Andy had done was reassure her and kiss her forehead. He had held her and told her that he loved her. Eventually she fell asleep, exhausted. Andy held her for a little longer and he kept stroking her hair. Gently, as not to wake her, he rolled her over so she could be comfortable, and got up from the bed to grab a blanket. He decided to lay down a few more minutes with her, mostly to reassure himself that she was there, safe, but then after a kiss and an “I love you” he got up from the bed.

When Sharon woke almost an hour later, she found a glass of water, some aspirin and a note on the bed side table.

I know you probably have a headache after all that crying. Take these and stay in bed. I needed to go to a meeting and I'll be back as soon as I can. I’ll bring dinner as well. Can't wait to cuddle you some more, sweetheart.

Love you, Your favourite sexy lieutenant,

Andy

Sharon smiled at the note and the gesture. She sat up in bed and took the aspirin, before walking to the living room to retrieve her bag and her phone. There were some missing texts and calls, mostly from her team and, surprisingly, Major Crimes. People checking on her and sending her her best wishes.

She was still replying to all the texts when she heard the key turn in the door and saw Andy walk in. "Hey sweetheart" he said with a smile, when he noticed she was there. Sharon walked to him, stood on her tiptoes and pulled his head down, so she could kiss him. "Thank you for staying with me. I love you so much" she murmured against his lips, and kissed him again.

Andy hugged her and said "I'm glad you're okay. I have dinner with me. Why don't we sit?" To his surprise, Sharon ignored her own rule of no eating on the couch unless it's a game night so they could be closer. The mood was definitely better than before. While the experience would probably haunt them for a while more, at least now they could relax and enjoy the other's company.

After dinner they decided to cuddle on the couch while they watched a movie. Sharon was curled up next to him, and she had her head on his shoulder. The only noise was from the TV, all around it was quiet. The peaceful atmosphere was broken by the ringing on Andy's phone. He groaned when he saw the chief's name pop up, but accepted the call. "Flynn." He simply said.

"Lieutenant sorry to bother you. I was just wondering how the Captain is doing" asked Brenda. Andy was surprised, but replied "She's better now. Uh, Chief, did Provenza…" he trailed off but luckily she understood "Don't worry, Lieutenant. He informed me of everything. The two of you are off until Monday. Rest, go to a meeting if you need to, and take care of her, okay?" He thanked her and ended the call.

Sharon was looking at him, expecting him to tell her he needed to leave, but he reassured her he was there to stay and told her what the chief had said. "Can we go to bed now?" She asked. Andy smiled at her and answered "Sure babe"

They held hands as they went to the bedroom. Andy helped her undress, and once they were down to their underwear, they snuggled under the blankets and held each other. It was unusual for them to sleep like that. Sharon would always wear at least an old tshirt, but both needed to feel as close as possible to the other, and apparently skin to skin was the best way for both. Sharon kissed him again, and thanked him for saving her life, for staying with her, and for holding her. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, Andrew Flynn, but I'm happy to have you in my life. I love you so much" she said.

That night they kissed a little longer and held each other a little tighter than usual, both eternally grateful to be there in each other's arms at the end of the day.

The next few days were mostly uneventful. They stayed home, ordered food and spent a lot of time together. Sharon encouraged Andy to go to meetings if he needed them, and when he'd come back, he'd always bring her something sweet from her favourite bakery. Her arm was healing well, but she'd had to put it in a sling for a few more days.

On Monday, Sharon woke up when Andy started showering her with kissed on her shoulder, neck and cheek. "Rise and shine, sleeping beauty. I have breakfast here for you" He helped her sit up and offered her a tray with coffee and a bowl with some cut up fruit and ice cream. Not her usual breakfast, but he'd been treating her like a queen for the past few days, and that apparently included ice cream at 7am. Not that she was complaining.

"Ready to go back?" He asked. Sharon nodded and finished her breakfast quickly so she could get ready.

An hour later, they were in the car, headed for the PAB. Andy noticed that she had tensed up as he pulled in the parking lot. "Hey, I'm here with you. You're safe, it's going to be okay" he said, taking her hand and kissing her quickly. They held hands as they rode up in the elevator, and Sharon stayed close to him. Only when the door opened to let other people in they untangled their fingers, but still remained side by side.

As they stepped off on the Major Crimes floor, Sharon had to stop for a moment to catch her breath and calm down. Ignoring where they were, and her rule of no PDA at work, Andy kissed her and took her hand, to lead her to the murder room. His presence was helping her a lot, especially when they had to walk past that interrogation room. She moved closer to his side, and her nails almost broke the skin of his arm, but Andy didn't care. He whispered "it's okay, sweetheart. No one is there" and helped her walk past the door.

When they arrived in the murder room, Sharon was shocked to see Welcome back Captain written in huge letters on the white board, surrounded by doodles of balloons and confetti. Someone, probably Provenza, had even drawn a Wicked witch with her arm in a sling. The team all went to say hello to her.

Sharon's eyes were shining with tears. These guys had even bought a cake and flowers to celebrate her return. Never before she had felt more welcomed, accepted, respected and hell, even loved, like the people in that room. Most days they couldn't see eye to eye, but they all knew that, no matter the division she came from, she was still one of theirs, and it was a miracle she was still there.

Andy suspected that Provenza had told the entire team, not only the chief, what the nature of their relationship was, but frankly, he couldn't care less.

They celebrated for a little while, and all made sure to ask her how she was, and told her they were there if she needed anything. "Ma'am. We have something for you" Julio said as their little party was coming to an end. "Our favourite attorney, Gavin, told us that the blazer you had on the other day was your favourite and we're sorry that it was ruined. We decided to do something for you, with his help"

He handed her a bag and she opened it with shaky hands. Sharon gasped when she realised that they'd bought her a new blazer, just like the other one. She wiped away the tears, and Andy hugged her once again.

"Thank you, thank you all. This means a lot to me" she said. Her voice was trembling with emotion. "Don't think that this won't stop me from watching you like a hawk though" she chuckled, and the team laughed with her.

"Right, everyone, back to work. The wicked witch has turned soft. We better take advantage of the situation" exclaimed Provenza, taking the attention off of the Captain, who was starting to get a little uncomfortable. She mouthed a thank you and he nodded slightly.

Sharon went to sit at her temporary desk which, over the weekend, had been moved next to Andy's, with a happy smile on her face. Despite ecerything they'd put her through in the past few weeks, they were a bunch of good people, and a great team. When she shared the thought with Andy, he squeezed her hand and said "Of course love. We protect our own, and you're part of this team"

#the closer #major crimes #shandy #shandy fic #sharon raydor #andy flynn #the closer fic #major crimes fic #angst #hurt/comfort

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luuuna-rambles · 3 years

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Doctor Who Review: 12x11/ 13x00 “Revolution of the Daleks” preamble

I think I should make clear, before I go into the episode, my opinion on Chibber’s and Whittaker’s era of the show as a whole. I personally don’t enjoy reviews of people with wildly different opinions on media to me, as it doesn’t give me an indication of whether or not I will enjoy what they are talking about. If you, the reader, are like me in that sense, feel free to use this as an indication of whether or not you want to read the review I will be putting up after the episode airs

tl;dr: I thought Seires 11 was pretty bad, and Series 12 was pretty good

Starting with series 11; on my first viewing, I enjoyed it as a spectacle, but in hindsight my opinion has soured. I didn’t particularly enjoy any of the characters, and as character arcs are what get me invested in a story, this was a big issue. The doctor was well acted with what she was given, and she had a good handle on the post-regeneration zany-ness in episode one, but past that she just... stayed like that. She definitely had the doctor’s eccentricity, but none of the authority or sense of having lived a very long time, and having seen som shit. Overall, I found her rather one-note and boring.

As for companions, there were definitely too many for an introductory series. I was mildly invested in Ryan and Graham’s schtick, but not nearly enough to carry the seires. And while Yaz had potential, that potential was never realised, especially in Series 11, where she was really just taking up space.

In terms of individual episodes, while I enjoyed a couple (Demons of the Punjab and Kerblam, especially), most of them were fine at best, and dreadful at worst

So, if I were to rank Series 11, I would either put it dead last or second last to Series 7, depending on the day. Needless to say, I didn’t have high hopes going into Series 12

So, I was pleasantly surprised with the big jump up in quality when it rolled around. While some episodes were still pretty bad, and it was still plagued with Chibbs’s crappy dialogue writing, there were some episodes (The Nikola Tesla episode and The Haunting of Villa Diodati spring to mind) that I would definitely go out of my way to rewatch, which is more than I can say for Series 11. While it wasn’t one of my favourite series (those being 10, 6, 5 and 4), it’s definitely somewhere in the middle. It was in the right trajectory.

However, there are still some big issues. Now their arcs have concluded, there is no reason for Ryan and Graham to be there. Ryan does absolutely nothing all series, and while Graham is supposed to be comic relief, his style of humour isn’t hitting the way it’s meant to, for me. While they were starting to utilize Yaz, and I enjoyed the little bits of her we got, she keeps being pushed to the side by Ryan and Graham, which is annoying, as I find her a more interesting companion than the other two combined.

And with the Doctor, while, again, they’re going in the right direction, it’s not quite there. She feels a lot more doctor-y this time round, and she’s given more to do (side note, I loved Sacha Dhawan’s master, I really hope we get more of him). However her disposition kept seeming to flip flop, from seeing her home planet destroyed in episode 2, to happy bouncy ‘let’s go to the spa!’ in episode 3. There really needs to me more consistency, but, again, it is a massive step up, and I’m looking forward to her in particular in series 13 (not that I particularly liked The Timeless Children, but I do think the fallout from that will be enjoyable to watch).

Hopes for the episode:

Ryan and Graham leave the show - whether through dying or just leaving, I don’t really care. I know there have been a lot of reports about them leaving, but I’m not getting my hopes up until I see it happen

They focus on Yaz and The Doctor more than everyone else - if the reports are true, Yaz is going to be the only remaining companion left after this episode. As a result we need more of a sense of how she operates. We’ve gotten hints, but we need more, especially since she’s been around for two series. As for the Doctor, we’ve yet to have an extended period of time where she is by herself. And that sort of thing would be a great way to explore where the doctor is at right now - remember ‘Heaven Sent’? The Doctor, by himself for a whole episode, and it was the shit! I’m hoping for that sort of thing, though obviously not for the whole episode. And on that note:

The Doctor doesn’t get saved until near the end of the episode - What a waste of a great situation that would be

They don’t screw over Jack again - seriously, what was the point of him showing up in 12x05? I was as happy to see him as anyone, but he didn’t really do anything except foreshadow, and he was characterised as a walking caricature. Jack is a great character - treat him as such, Chibbs!

They don’t dwell on the political bullshit - When I saw the Trump ripoff was back in the trailer, I groaned out loud. Why, Chibbs? If they spend more time on politics than absolutely necessary, I will be mad. Chibbs is dreadful at political commentary, and why he keeps doing it I have have no idea

With that being said, I am quietly hopeful for tonight. See you all in a few hours!

#doctor who #dw #series 12 #series 11 #dw s11 #dw s12 #12x11 #13x00 #revolution of the daleks #thirteenth doctor #13th Doctor #yazmin khan #ryan sinclair #graham o'brien #jack harkness #captain jack harkness

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heartslobbf · 5 years

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why ‘the deathsong of uther pendragon’ is the greatest merlin episode to ever merlin

in march of this year, i stumbled across a compilation of funny merlin clips in my youtube recommendations. i clicked on it, amazed that a show i watched ages five through eight, every autumn on bbc with an enthusiasm unmatched by any other show i watched, still had such a booming fandom. it was in early april that i made the decision to give into nostalgia and rewatch the whole thing with my mum, because i missed the silly show with troll weddings and ghost hauntings that made me cry so damn hard on christmas eve nonetheless.

the first thing i did after watching the first episode was hunt down my two favourite episodes. i was pretty happy to discover that the beauty and the beast was in series two, because i remember that two parter was what really made me love merlin as a child. but by the time i’d scanned through series three and four too, i finally found it: the deathsong of uther pendragon, 05x03, my favourite episode and the first thing i think of when someone says ‘merlin’ to me.

i love this episode so damn much. the scene with gwen in the hallway haunted me as a child, it was inexcplicable how i could love it so much. but i did. i loved the ghosts and i loved the mystery, and yeah, it was a really funny episode, but it made me get a little bit emotional at the end.

like, don’t get me wrong. it’s a dumb episode. it seems almost out of place, a sudden and drastic break away from all of the doom and gloom, from arthur’s bane. homoerotic ghost hunting poetry lessons, the knights being the knights, a silly and irrelevant episode that serves as comedic relief in such a dark series. but this episode is important, and heartwarming, and without it i’d feel as though uther’s arc was never completed.

arthur is deeply affected by his father’s death, both because of the circumstances and the fact that he felt close to him. but uther practically disowns arthur during their confrontation at the beginning of the episode, all because of how he’s running the kingdom. uther never approved of gwen, ever. he tried to have her executed for various reasons over the first few series, so it’s not like he even liked her. and there was always the issue of nobility, the whole classism thing that was well addressed in both gwaine and lancelot’s first episodes. uther doesn’t approve of anything arthur has done during his time as king, he brushed aside all of the good, the peace and the prosperity, because he feels as though arthur is going to change things.

uther is scared of change. in fact, uther is scared of almost everything. and his fear is what drives him, a cowardly and tyrannical man, to distrust everything and everyone, from a passive tool like magic to even his own family. i think that uther sees arthur’s openness to equality as a sign, a sign that magic might return. the trouble is that instead of reminding arthur of all the evil magic has done, instead of trying to convince his son of the values he raised him on, uther immediately resorts to violence.

arthur says he loves gwen. he says his knights are some of the best he’s ever had. he refuses to let his father do what he always did in life: get his way. during uther’s reign, he could shape arthur however he wanted to, order him around, force his ideals upon his son and make him force them upon others. but arthur’s friends question him, help him make tough decisions, and encourage him to think for himself, not as his father would.

04x05 is an incredibly important episode because of the scenes between arthur and his friends. that development in his character is what allows him to disagree with his father in 05x03, and uther hates it. he doesn’t want arthur to form his own views on the world as he already has, because with every new choice he makes, he gets closer and closer to fulfilling his destiny as the once and future king who returned magic to albion. uther doesn’t know about that, sure, but he certainly has an inkling his son will sympathise with magic users. and he’s right.

so, as i said before, uther resorts to violence. he’s a man controlled by fear, so of course he tries to use fear to control arthur. and whilst it never ceases to piss me off that uther actually tried to murder the two sweetest people in camelot (uther pendragon leave gwen and percival the fuck alone challenge), it’s nowhere near as important as what happens with merlin and arthur.

the second confrontation between father and son is heartbreaking. amidst all of it, though, this is the most important exchange:

ARTHUR: Then you will have to kill me. I am not you, Father. I can't rule the way you did.

UTHER: Camelot must come before all else. Even you.

uther is willing to kill his own son to preserve his legacy, to maintain this tyrannical and harsh rule. their relationship has completely and utterly broken down. arthur is realising now that his father has just lied to him, again and again and again, about his mother and about the values of a good king and everything else. it’s like in 02x08, when arthur says he no longer thinks of uther as a father, but this time there is no salvation for the sins of the father (i’m a comedic genius). uther has never really cared about arthur for who arthur is, but rather for who he wanted arthur to be.

and in 05x03, arthur is the last character in the entire show to realise this.

the deathsong of uther pendragon is intrinsically important, because without it, arthur will never fully reject his father and actually be open to the idea of bringing back magic. and seeing this, as an end to uther’s arc, to the end of arthur’s daddy issues, is sort of reminiscent of the umbrella academy to me, in the sense that arthur is like ‘shit, my dad isn’t a good person.’ he’s been in denial for a really long time about the extent of uther’s abusive nature, and this is the moment he stops. i love to poke fun of merlin, especially the fifth series, for some dodgy writing and dumb characterisation, but this episode just brings me to tears every time.

it’s the best merlin episode to ever merlin, because it does what the show sets out to do: show us arthur’s progression, with merlin’s help, to becoming the great king he’s supposed to be. and it does so hilariously, masterfully, beautifully, and with fucking ghosts and, of course, merlin and arthur’s several homoerotic subtexts. i love it. i love it so much.

#shut up daisy #bbc merlin #fuck uther #its 05x03 hours boys #05x03 #arthur pendragon #and his fuckton of daddy issues #no one:#me: hey um so 05x03 right—#crying about series 5

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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years

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Do you think we were supposed to be getting MOC!Dean vibes from how excited Dean was to have the Colt back? I mean, he got pissy when the First Blade was taken from him to, though he ultimately ended up giving that to Cas, but y'know... willingly. Idk where I'm going with this, just something I thought of...

Yeah, idk if it was meant to be exactly like Dean and the First Blade but he was definitely being a bit obsessive about it :P Once you sleep with something under your pillow you cross a line where if this was the sitcom version of the show the next day he’d walk into the library and Sam and Cas would have hung an intervention banner :P

I mean I don’t think we need to go over Dean’s detailed history with the Colt, either in actions or emotionally how much was connected to it and the obvious security a kill-anything weapon has to your well-being (a rare feeling for him although 12x18 proved that could be preeetty useless when not applied properly anyway)… but he was also personifying the gun and he does this with the car and I guess in a way it’s stuff he puts a bit of himself into.

(I watched 9x10 recently enough to still be laughing at Crowley calling the car Dean’s phallus on wheels - I don’t think that’s an accurate representation of what Baby is to Dean, and 11x04 showing her as a protective womb and somehow almost cosmically attuned to him as a friend is way more accurate, if we don’t go with her being a representation of his soul. But hands down she is feminine and not just because he calls her so, but symbolically. But the Colt. Definitely a phallic representation for Dean.)

But his weirdness about the gun got him in trouble in 12x18, that the bad guys got the better of him, and, well, the dude in 5x09 who complained why do they not put their weapons on a bungee? Highlights the problem of relying on a kill-anything weapon (and pfft now I think about it like this - WAS that foreshadowing that they gain and lose the Colt in one episode immediately after that because Dean dropped it after Lucifer threw him across the field? :P)

I think the problem is this is such a coveted item, it’s its own curse. And I just spent a moment trying to think of what other thing in pop culture I could compare this to aside from the obvious of the One Ring and realised I was thinking of season 3 and the Colt. So. Uh. I feel like there’s a very obvious comparison to some item that was only got through stealing and was its own curse but my brain is ALSO now just saying, hey, rabbit’s foot in 3x03, and at this point I give up. My brain is a mess of Supernatural and I can’t remember anything else any more.

Anyway, it’s not something spelled out in the text like that, but right before the Colt comes back into play, like bungee guy and his warning about losing weapons, we have this:

SAM It’s a hell of a luck charm.

BOBBY It’s not a luck charm, it’s a curse! She made it to kill people, Sam!See, you touch it, you own it. You own it, sure, you get a run of good luck to beat the Devil.But, you lose it, that luck turns. It turns so bad that you’re dead inside a week.

SAM Well, so I won’t lose it, Bobby.

BOBBY EVERYBODY LOSES IT!

(Lol to “beat the devil” I hate this show sometimes)

Obviously Colt didn’t make it AS a curse - he made it to kill demons and lock a Devil’s gate shut… But from the outset it has the problem that because it can LOCK the gate it can also OPEN it. So the very earliest we see the Colt is two demons coming to get it from Samuel Colt; it’s a beacon of potential and Colt may have used it for good, but there’s an immediate reaction of interest to use it for bad, because it’s power, and power, of course, corrupts. (Like the ring of power, or the First Blade comparison, as two items specifically about the corrupting influence of dark bad power)

But still. Once it’s there…

SAMUEL COLT (nods) Not bad. (Samuel opens his jacket so Sam can see the colt in his holster) You don’t want it. It’s a curse. Believe me.

SAM Great. Then let me take it off your hands.

Sam actually is given the Colt (and that scene now to me feels like 9x11 riffed off it a LOT - Dean taking the Mark from Cain feels almost identical in mood, only Sam taking on this “curse” was a lot more benign, unless of course it somehow twists time and fate up to make the Colt so much of their problem in the future). Anyway, he takes it to Dean seemingly with permission and no hard feelings from Samuel Colt, and so it’s sort of got a sense of ownership to them, but not exactly the strongest, especially as it may have just been on loan.

Best I can guess, based on the Elkins connection, after they disappeared back to the future, Elkins the bartender came out and saw the ash and had no interest in it, but did see the Colt and took it, then when Samuel Colt came to town it was like no i never saw no gun, and Colt assumes Sam took it (and hey he did want to pass on that curse :P) and that’s it. Elkins passes it down through his family, Daniel Elkins sort of can’t believe what he’s got, and maybe for all we know was a hunter because having the Colt invites trouble and his family had a history of it and had to learn the hard way.

Dean steals the Colt from him in 4x03, and fails to use it while discovering how their family is well and truly cursed with Mary’s deal.

John wanted it from Daniel Elkins and never got it from him while he was alive because I bet Elkins did not want to share that curse and had some fear about what it would do to John - the Elkins family having it is sort of like Bilbo having it all the time in the shire - he messes around doing party tricks with his magic ring, but the plot doesn’t come for HIM.

Vampires eventually steal it, John steals it from them, he gives it again to Dean, but retains a loose ownership of being the one who’d be mad about wasting bullets, even if Sam and Dean wave it around and shoot it a few times, John reclaims it and gives it to Azazel. Azazel gives it to Jake. Sam steals it from Jake, Bela steals it from Sam, gives it to Crowley who gives it to Dean, and then immediately steals it back from him and gives it to Ramiel. Ramiel is killed for it by Sam (unintentionally) and Mary steals it, for Mick who gives it to Sam, who gives it to Dean, who Cas steals it from, who loses it to Dagon, who melts it and the poor ghost of Samuel Colt, haunting miles of railroad in the middle of Wyoming, suddenly has his spirit freed and goes up to Heaven at long last like, finally :P

Pretty much everyone who either steals it or has it stolen from them is killed for it or because of this struggle - losing it is a safer way to not die, so Dean dropping it at the end of 2 time travel escapades, or after attempting to kill Lucifer, sort of means the gun falls off the radar, in a kind of threw it into the deepest ocean way, where it stops being on the board. But the curse is clear and the power struggle for it.

I think this sort of desirability of it as an item IS the curse, and Dean is best placed of anyone in the world to know about it because he’s been not just connected to the story all along, but also with the time travel things, especially 4x03, intimately connected with its history in a really weird way. He was the one who shot the phoenix, after all, even if Sam got the Colt in the first place. Dean being the last “true” owner of the Colt is a nice way to end it, in that Dean is the centre of the universe way. But also that Sam brought it to him and Mary stole it for them - the family history, the family curse… (I still think Samuel Colt’s journal was in the Campbell library because there was a family connection)

Also it’s great Cas stole it and shot it and had a part in that - also mirroring Eileen’s attempt to shoot Dagon, which makes me feel like she’s part of the family and should marry Sam >.>

ANYWAY all that said, I think that’s the curse/pull of the Colt, the sort of “my precious” feeling that would come from it. It’s an object soaked in blood and in the supernatural world that seems to leave a mark. I think the gun was actually almost bonded to their story or to Dean, and he would have the Gollum-like intensity over it because it’s been his for hundreds of years all through its existence, in the “i’m my own grandfather” way time travel messes with things. And I think that it wasn’t EVIL per say but the “curse” had a truth to it that Samuel Colt couldn’t even begin to understand what he’d created, and what it would become. And all the people who died for it - all that power and all that swapping hands? If ownership puts a bit of something into a thing like Dean personifying Baby until she looks out for him in turn like 11x04 showed, then think of the gun going through all those hands, and all the evil or desperation they poured into it while coveting its power.

I don’t think it necessarily drove Dean mad in the way if we had a longer arc with it it MIGHT have Gollum’d him like the First Blade did but for the 3 episodes he owned it, it definitely seemed like a danger and I think this is why he was susceptible to it. I think 12x18 in a way might be a great thing to rewatch for Dean and the Colt - how it influenced him in that time, that he was sloppy and filled with bravado… I said in my notes for that episode that he was happily waving his phallic gun around that represented a sort of power and therefore virility he doesn’t normally feel - a GOOD feeling about himself, self-confidence and self-assuredness, and so Dean hooking up felt a natural part of exercising that power. But it made him reckless and vulnerable and so he ended up being the damsel tied to the chair and thrown in a meat locker. Sam, who had a tearful reunion with the Colt and saw it in a completely opposite light to Dean, as a dangerous, cursed tool, as Samuel Colt said and Sam knows full well, had a clarity about it.

I think if Sam kept the Colt Cas probably wouldn’t have stolen it, and the Colt would still be un-melted, because a totally different story would have been told.

But it got to Dean. It probably wouldn’t have CHANGED him long term, but the immediate personality effect was all over 12x18 and it suddenly filled a huge part of the emotional drama of 12x19 where Cas stealing it became a Cas or Colt situation and they were weirdly paralleled closely together (as well as that weird sexual side to Dean owning the Colt that 12x18 explored, being used with the Colt being in his bed, and Cas stealing it from there…) - if it had been some other McGuffin and not The Colt with all its history I think Dean also would have been a lot more chill in 12x19, and not be betrayed, and not waver even for a second to seem like he was messed up enough to be weighing the worth of the Colt against Cas in the first place.

I don’t think if the Colt hadn’t been melted it would have had a long term affect on their relationship even if Dean would have been upset about Cas taking it…

I am still wondering if they’ll develop that Cas nearly died FOR Mary to steal it and if Dean would ever clearly be made aware that the BMoL stole it from Ramiel and that’s why they were there and what Mary was doing.

I want more on the cursed family history and whether they mention the Colt or not in that, it just existing for a moment in this season has dragged up more than enough of that…

Okay I have way too many thoughts about this ask I went way off point with.

But yeah, I don’t think the Colt ACTUALLY would have been like the Mark of Cain and First Blade to Dean, but metaphorically that’s the emotional impact it had, with the family history and HIS history with it being the Mark, and the Colt of course being the Blade.

#Asks #12x12 #12x14 #12x17 #12x18 #12x19 #Chekhov's kill everything gun #my stuff #Dean analysis #I still can't believe the Colt was in his bed and Cas stole it from there #when I was watching I snorted about Cas moodily looking at Dean's bed when he left the room #and it turned out he really was coveting Dean's phallic representation in Dean's own bed #and Dean's betrayal was that Cas emotionally used him and took that from him #not that he just stole the item #but the absolute literal this is about actual sex in my own bed intimacy that was portrayed there #metaphorically this is why Dean was upset #Cas had a one night stand and bolted #this is what the Colt stood for in Dean's bed #to be completely clear about that

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