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goldendoodlerlockerlove · 4 months

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I’m a huge Multishipper and find the merits of almost any Ship for Bob’s Burgers. I’ve seen so many good content for so many lovely ships!! Here are some of my favorites (and the blogs that produce the best content for these ships):

Tina/Josh is so underrated, in my opinion. The show did make it so they’ll never be canon (probably), and Josh didn’t get nearly enough screentime, but I think they’re adorable. I loved them so much in Linda-Pendant Woman, with Tina pulling a Prince Charming and trying to find who Josh’s bandaid belonged to. And their Fresh Feed kiss!! Tbh, I kind of ship them the most (please don’t come for me) and they’re super cute. But the show’s most likely not going to do anything else with them. They have a ton of potential, and I wish they spent more time fleshing Josh out as a character. If they had, this ship had the potential of being as good or even better than some of the other ships with Tina. I also definitely headcanon Josh as Bi. That boy is not straight in my opinion.

Tinimmy is such a classic, I adore it and all of the lovely content that @drawthethingdoppelganger and @jimmyjrsmusoems have put out. These two are the absolute Tinimmy Queens, so if you want Tinimmy content, go to their blogs immediately!! It helps that this ship is basically canon, and Jimmy Jr. is such an awkward dork 😭 He doesn’t know how to express his emotions, but he does care so much about Tina despite what some people say 😒 It’s so frustrating when people always put J Ju down because of one episode (V For Valentine-Detta). Yes, it was a jerk move, but he’s a flipping middle schooler!! And it wasn’t even that bad, anyway. And one bad move doesn’t erase all of the lovely things he’s done for Tina. Like finding her Barrecklace and saying it made him think of her?? Wanting to do a Sky Kiss with her?? Agreeing to go on a date to Pie in the Sky even though he’s not really a fan, and inviting her on a completely genuine date to Fro-Yo Mama?? Come on, these two are adorable. And they deserve a coffee date sometime if DT’s recent art is anything to go by. I also headcanon Jimmy Jr. as Bi sometimes and a heavily closeted Gay boy other times. It kind of depends how I’m feeling, pffffft. @br1ghtestlight has headcanoned him as Aro/Ace, and that’s a fun and valid interpretation too, but I usually feel as if he does have some sort of interest in Tina romantically. I’m not sure. I guess it depends??

Zekina is so cute even though I don’t ship it as much as the other two. Zeke wanting to take Tina on a date to the aquarium and then out for tacos is just so adorable!! But it always annoys me so much when people say that Zeke is obviously the better choice for Tina and is always nicer to her and always has her best interests at heart. Like, Zeke is a sweetheart, but he’s had his moments of not being great to Tina. He’s a teenager just like Jimmy Jr. He’s not obviously the better choice for her just because he suggested that date of tacos and touch tanks. Zekina is lovely, and I respect anyone who ships it and makes content for it. I definitely see the appeal. But people really need to stop coming for Jimmy Jr. Yes, I will keep yelling about this forever 😭 Anyway, if you want some of the best Zekina content, you must go to @theangrypomeranian’s blog right now. You should absolutely read Baby Steps!! I started it but haven’t gotten far because of the length, but everyone should go read it and support them!! @br1ghtestlight has also written a Tina and Zeke fic (though they might just be platonic there) that I still haven’t read yet, but everyone should go read that too.

Zeke/Jimmy Jr., aka Zesto (not sure if that’s their actual ship name, but it should be) is great. It has so much potential, and I ship it a ton. I tend to ship Tina/Josh and Zeke/Jimmy Jr. the most, not because of Jimmy Jr., but because those are the ships I just enjoy the most and I think have the best potential/chemistry. But plenty of other ships have lovely potential and chemistry too!! Anyway, these two can be read equally well as platonic besties, but them being together romantically intrigues me. It would be a ton of fun, I think. They would definitely be a chaotic couple, but a cute one. I mean, Jimmy Jr.’s reaction when he thought Zeke would start going to a different school?? He was so stressed!! And Zeke always wanting to wrestle with J Ju as a sign of affection? And agreeing to do things like help J Ju get a chicken nugget in his mouth? I love.

Genecadero is adorable and @dianadeadwing has made such cute artwork for them. Gene doesn’t have many ships, and I probably enjoy this one the most. It’s definitely a rare pair. Gene deserves a cute romance with a sweet partner!! It’s weird to me when people sometimes say that Gene is too young for that when the show already tried giving him a straight relationship with Courtney. Yes, they broke up, but still. The showrunners are clearly open to giving Gene a relationship. I love the idea Diana brought up of Peter not-so-subtly having a crush on Gene and Gene just not getting the hints. But I like to think he becomes super lovestruck and a super doting partner when he’s older.

I’m cheating and putting Gene/Alexis (I came up with a super cute ship name for them now now I can’t remember what it is ☠️ Does anyone want to help me come up with one??) on here, because I was like “Welp, if others don’t want to give Gene many ships, I’ll make one myself!” I’ve grown very attached to Alexis as an OC, and I’ve suddenly realized he has similarities to Alex 😭 I imagined them both as being voiced by Thomas Middleditch, their names are similar, and are both kind of nerds. But I think that’s where the similarities end. I definitely wanted Alexis to stand out as a character, and I think he’s still different enough from Alex. Anyway, I can’t help but talk about these two, they make my heart sing. I will never get tired of making content about them or just rambling about them like here.

Gene/Sasha is such a rare pair, and the enemies to lovers potential?? Amazing, actually 🤌🏼 If this ship wasn’t so rare, I think it would have Louigan potential, tbh. I love the idea of these two talking more and bonding, because let’s be real, Sasha is 1,000% not straight. Just look at him. Their ship also kind of reminds me of Dipcifica from Gravity Falls, with the rich kid potentially opening up and becoming a better person thanks to someone else’s influence. I just love a good Enemies-to-Lovers romance, and the potential they have for banter is immaculate.

Ahhh, Roudise (aka Louwheeze, which is an incredible ship name), is just the cutest thing on earth, I adore it. I love a good Friends-to-Lovers, and I think I just have them on the brain because of Roudise Week. They’re just adorable and basically canon like Tinimmy. I probably ship them the most?? They just make me happy. I love how Rudy brings out Louise’s softer side, and Louise helps bring Rudy out of his shell. Their friendship is precious, their potential romance even more so. I just have a lot of thoughts about these two, they make me happy. Also, Louise slapping Rudy after kissing him in Bob, Actually sends me every time. If you want some of the best Roudise content, go to @ltwharfy and @devilh0rnsinc. Their Roudise content is just so lovely!!

Louigan!! This ship is great too. I don’t understand why people who ship it get blocked. There’s so much potential there!! Again, Enemies-to-Lovers is one of my favorites. And their potential for banter?? Amazing. Incredible. No notes. If you want the best Louigan content, you must go to @babsvibes immediately. I started reading Stacy’s Cardamom, which is basically her Magnum Opus. I haven’t finished it yet, but it’s incredible and everyone should go read it. She’s truly the Louigan Queen and got me interested in this ship in the first place. And she was kind enough to invite me onto the Louigan Discord, which has been an absolute blast (even though I hardly share anything Louigan on there ☠️). I want to change that and make more Louigan content. I have a lot of ideas. Y’all better watch out if Louigan Week happens again next September 👀 Louigan Week was also amazing this year!! Everyone show Babs some love for running that incredible event.

Louissica is cute and has potential. I feel as if it’s quite similar to Roudise as a cute, charming Friends-to-Lovers. But Jessica just needs to appear more and be more developed as a character, because she just hasn’t appeared enough for me to have as many thoughts about this ship as all of the others I’ve listed so far. I loved them hunting for that Wharf Monster together, that was such a fun side plot. And them bonding at Louise’s sleepover when she’d driven everyone else away.

BOBLIN. If there’s a ship from this show I love the most, it’s Boblin, no contest. There’s a reason my very first ask to DT was Boblin-related. But I’ve rambled about them enough, so I’ll try to keep this short, pfffffft. They’re an example of a couple that’s as close to perfect that I’ve ever seen. They’re so sweet you’ll get a cavity, they’re domestic, and they’re ancient as hell muppets. What else could you want?? I love how their love stems not just from huge, loud, romantic gestures. It also stems from more quiet, subtle moments. Like Bob massaging Linda’s feet. Or Linda deciding to give Bob a quiet night in for his birthday, because she realized he’d enjoy that the most. Or Bob making her a heart-shaped pancake on Valentine’s Day. You get the idea. If you want the best Boblin content, then @jimmypesto is your girl. She’s written some of the best BB fics I’ve read, and the way she writes Boblin is unmatched. She’s such a talented writer, it’s insane. She’s also written a ton of Boblin smut, if that’s your thing!!

Frondbrose is wonderful. These two also have such good chemistry and banter, it’s insane. Their Enemies-to-Lovers potential is insane. I wish they were canon so bad. They definitely need to interact more. Mr. Ambrose showing his softer side for Mr. Frond is just so adorable to me!! This man would be the epitome of “I hate everyone, but I don’t hate you 😌” They make me all giggly. I can’t get enough. They’re definitely the type to have Hate Sex once and then deny it ever happened 🤣. But everyone would know the truth.

Tedmort is so cute and has so much potential. I love it. I think Teddy and Mort’s friendship is precious already, but a potential relationship between them?? The wholesomeness meter would be off the charts. They can be an ancient muppet couple like Bob and Linda!! Mort would treat Teddy 1,000% better than Denise, but tbh, anyone else would treat Teddy better than Denise. If you want Tedmort, then @keepyourhornson-spyro is the person for you!! They’ve written some lovely Tedmort fics that everyone should read.

Marshmallow/Nat has such potential, and there should be content about them!! It just seems like such a fun ship, and I think being with Marshmallow would help Nat get over her ex-girlfriend. These two also share a similar vibe of just coming and going as they please, and “being truly free” 😌 I still love that Marshmallow is canonically Trans and Nat is canonically a Lesbian. They’re wonderful.

Hemita is a canonical rarepair, which I didn’t think was possible, but here we are. I think they’re so cute and definitely good for each other. Susmita asking out Henry in Morse Code?? That was adorable. We need more moments of these two being cute. I love them.

Barryl is such a rare pair and has won me over so much. There’s just something that makes sense about these two being together that’s difficult to describe. There’s something so sweet about Becky being able to find love after being unlucky with Jimmy Jr. Darryl would be such a sweet boyfriend to her, and she would be such a sweet girlfriend in return. They would be so cute holding hands and listening to the Frozen soundtrack on repeat. Sure, to ship them, you need to ignore Rosa, but she was only in one episode anyway. I gotta shout out @theangrypomeranian again for basically creating this entire ship herself. Amazing.

Arnlee is such a gigantic rare pair it’s insane, and they’ve definitely won me over too. They’re so cute!! They’re just two socially awkward kids who would work really well together. They deserve to have some sort of side plot where they bond. I would love that. @devilh0rnsinc made the cutest art of these two together for @ltwharfy, and that was what officially won me over. That and @ltwharfy’s adorable fic about them which everyone should go read.

I might cut myself off there, because this post is insanely long. But it just goes to show how many lovely ships there are in this fandom. And they’re all valid. Seriously, can we please just respect each other and who we ship??

Anyway, there’s a little something for everyone in terms of ships, and I just love that so much. Everyone needs to check out all of the blogs I mentioned for some lovely content❣️They’ve also just been so sweet and welcoming towards me, I can’t stress that enough!!

#fandom ships #bobs burgers #we need more content for some of these rare pairs #rare pairs are just so fun to talk about #all of these ships make me so happy in different ways and i’ve had my eyes opened to so many of them because of these talented people #for example i was very normal about tinimmy until dt and kaitlyn came long pfffffft #now i have intense brainrot and you know what?? i’m not complaining #caroline also helped make me even more insane about boblin thanks to her amazing fics. i can’t stress enough how lovely they are #everyone in this fandom is just so amazing and talented i can’t handle it❣️

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mamasplat · 5 months

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let it be known when anyone posts about zinnia and courtney in shared context i’m out there.

i’m out there and i’m kicking my feet, i’m giggling, i’m hiding my face in my hands, i’m a bomb about to explode like a firework in the night sky-

[fine print:]

[this is based on my own unhinged opinion and day dreaming activities, i have color coded specific words to assist in visualization. zinnia is red, courtney is purple. these are of course open to interpretation and i am of course open to further discussion.]

therefore, brainrot playlist below ↓↓↓

———•———

•What Is This Feeling?:

seems self explanatory for the grunt zinnia era, but can also work in pasio forced proximity.

“What is this feeling, So sudden and new?. I felt the moment, I laid eyes on you. My pulse is rushing. My head is reeling. My face is flushing. What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame, Does it have a name? Yes! Loathing, Unadulterated loathing”

• Mary:

frankly not my usual taste, but the potential in the lyrics is ripe. specifically the amount of ways you can utilize it, you could make it fit most plots if you try hard enough and i throughly enjoy tragic lesbians.

“Mary is the girl that I wanna kiss. She's got big red eyes and big red lips, She's got big sharp teeth and big fat hips. Mary is the girl that I wanna fuck. She's got leather heart and leather gloves, She's the only girl that I wanna love.”

and it only gets even more angsty if that’s what your wanting, for instance- the delta episode

“Mary is the girl that leaves you to rot. She says, "I am real and you are not" She says, "I am real and you are not"”

• Again:

heavy delta episode break down. and flyleaf in general gives me big courtney vibes (the whole reason they got into my top artists so fast)

“I love the way that your heart breaks, With every injustice and deadly fate.”

“I love that you're never satisfied, With face value wisdom and happy lies.”

“You take what they say and go back and cry. You're so close to me that you nearly died.”

• This Is (Not):

also delta episode. if Again is courtney’s pov, This Is (Not) is zinnia’s.

“We're specks of dust, Hurling nowhere through unending void. We're blinks of time, Clinging haphazardly to life.”

“And we'll do it again 'til it's done. But we know it's never enough. You can only get what you give. As the sky crashes down, Hold me firm 'til it's my turn again.”

• Ecstasy (Apple of My Eye):

with so much inherent angst with unworldlyshipping (not complaining i enjoy sobbing over them.) it’s only fair i switch the pace. we all know courtney can be a bit…intense. some would say obsessive. but i hear ecstasy and my first thought is courtney being all mushy over that wild lorekeeper.

“In my darkest dreams I see, You're much close now to me. I have got you in my hair, I can feel you round me everywhere”

“In a kiss lies so much more than touch. And my life has found a new temptation, And ecstasy has meaning once again. I find suddenly I'm closer to you. And I find all my wildest dreams, Have come true, While I spin round. My heart is beating for two. And I am wishing, It will always be you and I.”

• Set Fire to the Rain:

hear me out when i say 2010s adele fits unworldly shipping- because i’m right. zinnia’s team magma betrayal in a courtney pov.

“I let it fall, my heart. And as it fell, you rose to claim it”

“My hands, they're strong, But my knees were far too weak. To stand in your arms, Without falling to your feet.”

“But there's a side to you, That I never knew, never knew. All the things you'd say, They were never true, never true. And the games you play, You would always win, always win”

———

!honorable mentions!:

———

that’s all i got (for now…) you may now forget this post byeee

———•———

#the autism still going strong #unworldlyshipping #magma admin courtney #lorekeeper zinnia #playlist #i put way too much effort into this #self indulgence at its finest #Spotify

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risusnet · 2 years

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Does it count as crashing a wedding if they don’t see you?

Andrew Garfield!Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: One night after school, Peter takes his best friend, [Y/N] up to the top of the Empire State Building to de-stress after a long day. Where an innocent dance turns into him confessing all his feelings for her.

Prompt: me brainrotting plus this: “You look beautiful in the moonlight.”

Word count: 720

Today had been a long day, and one that had felt especially harder than normal as the school year was drawing to an end and teachers were starting exams. Peter Parker liked to swing up to the Empire State building and relax when things seemed stressful.

Now was no different. His best friend, [Y/N], knew he was Spider-Man and he offered to take her with him because he could tell she was stressed. When she agreed, they waited until nightfall to swing up there.

The city looked beautiful from up here and it was one of the reasons he liked it. Everything was quiet and peaceful and the thousands of lights from the buildings created an enchanting atmosphere. He subtly looked at your face light up with wonder as you watched the world with awe.

He was thankful to still have his mask on because he wouldn’t have been able to hide the massive grin he sported as he observed your delight at the scene. The quiet was interrupted by the music coming from a nearby building that you both noticed.

“What’s going on down there?” You asked, looking to Peter.

“I’m.. not sure?” He pulled his mask off to get a clearer view, “Looks like a wedding afterparty.”

“I think you might be right now that you mention it.”

Slow music had started to pick up and it was evident that the bride and groom were about to do their first dance. The calm melody was quiet and slightly muffled from where they sat. They watched as more couples moved to the dance floor of the rooftop and Peter softly cleared his throat.

He leaned over so that his lips were close to her ear and spoke in a low murmur, “Would you like to dance?”

Turning to him and giggling she said, “Sure.”

He held out his hand for her to grab which she did so and he pulled her closer to him as they began a slow waltz atop the Empire State. They got more comfortable with the dance as they continued and had a light conversation while the music faintly hummed in the distance.

“You look beautiful in the moonlight, [Y/N]” Peter said, looking down at her with a smile playing on his lips. She was slightly surprised at the compliment because she wasn’t used to her best friend acting like such but she didn’t complain. She’d always had a crush on him for as long as she can remember and that made the compliment mean so much more to her.

[Y/N] hid her surprise well and smirked back, “You don’t look too bad yourself, Parker.”

He lifted his arm up and twirled her around and she lightly laughed before moving back into her original position. They spent a long while dancing, just enjoying being around each other and away from the chaos that was day-to-day life. When the last song had stopped, the pair stopped too. Carefully pulling away from each other.

[Y/N], still standing just in front of him, gazed over to the cityscape and sighed. She took a few steps towards the edge of the building where she planned to sit down and look out to New York but he grabbed her arm to stop her.

“[Y/N].” His voice was hesitant and it sounded different to usual. She hummed in confusion and turned to him, giving him her full attention. “I- Well, I did have something to say.. I just don’t know how to say it.”

“You can take your time, I’m listening.” She gave him a reassuring smile.

“I… think I love you..” Peter shut his eyes, already regretting what he said. “N-nevermind, forget it. Forget I said that- uh- yeah- I’m sorry. Just forge-”

“Shut up.” She teasingly said as she cut off his ramblings and pulled him into a kiss. He instantly kissed her back and it started gentle but grew more intense as they kissed until they couldn’t breathe. They kissed like they were about to run out of time and would never be able to kiss again.

Running out of breath, they pulled away and Peter looked into [Y/N]’s [E/C] eyes. “W-What-?” He stuttered, his breathing irregular.

“I think I love you too.” She breathed. This news caused Peter to tug his best friend into another earth-shattering kiss.

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rainy-day-coffee · 3 years

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Helloooo. First of all, I definitely LOVE your writing! Theyre so fun to read! And second, can I request hcs...or scenario (you can choose!) with octa trio + riddle and idia accidentally hearing their fem crush gushed enthusiastically about them to her friends? Thanks a lot!

AH- Thank you so much!! (^///^) I have a lot fun writing these for everyone, I’m super happy you like my posts!

Oh anon, this idea!!! I had so much fun with this!! I hope you like it! I genuinely want to make these all into full-fledged scenarios or maybe just mini-scenarios! If you would like one of those, you are more than welcome to ask for it! I’m going to have brainrot about this idea for a long time now, it’s just so cute!

Finding their fem!crush gushing about them to her friends!

Azul had just been minding his business, making his way through the campus of NCR, students avoiding him as usual.

Walking around the corner, he hears you squealing to your group of friends. You sound so excited! It piqued his curiosity so he hid. Just what opportunity could you be presenting him with?

Very jealous at first, he doesn’t know who you’re talking so highly about. He never had much of a fair chance at a relationship with you, or so he believes. He supposes this conversation can be used as black-mail in the future.

And then he hears his name being followed along by another string of compliments.

Almost lets out the loudest gasp, but stops himself in time. He blushes a very deep shade of red. This isn’t fair. You shouldn’t be allowed to make his heart beat this quickly. And all those words of adoration, goodness! What is he supposed to do?

He’s thankful that he sent the twins off to go do something. Otherwise, they would tease him and push him towards you with no remorse.

He proceeds to go straight to his room, launch himself into bed, hug a pillow, and roll around and squeal in joy.

He can use this to his advantage! Your little indirect confession will be used as coverage for when he ropes you into a contract! A contract of love that is!

Jade and Floyd can’t help but notice their boss is in a much happier mood the following days!

He already knew you harbored feelings for him. Remember, he’s amazing at reading people. Now, he was simply waiting for you to make your move.

He really hadn’t expected to find you and your friends in an empty hallway. You were practically vibrating in place while you told them about a certain crush of yours.

How bold of you to talk about such things in public! You can never know who will be listening.

His outside expression doesn’t change. He’s still smiling like usual. On the inside however, he’s quite happy. Technically, this doesn’t count as an advance on your part, but he can use this situation to his benefit.

He makes his way forward ever so quietly. Wrapped up in your excitement, you don’t even seem to notice him.

Your friends desperately try to tell you about the looming eel that is right behind you, please quiet down before you embarrass yourself further.

It seems to be too late for that though.

You feel a pair of hands on your shoulders, finally alerting you of his presence. It’s no use trying to play off the situation, he heard just enough to know.

No please, go on, he insists. Just what else do you have to say? He wants to hear all of it.

Floyd never made his feelings a secret! This applies to his crush on you too! He’s a lot clingier with you, and he tends to drag you around more than anyone else! It’s quite obvious that you’re his obsession. However, you had yet to confess your love for him. What a shy shrimp you are! He’s starting to get a little impatient.

He wasn’t in the best of moods when he overheard your “confession.” He didn’t feel like working at Mostro Lounge or doing that really long assignment Professor Trein had given out. He was so bored.

His mood does a complete 180 when he hears you absolutely “melting” over a “tall and attractive eel who loves to squeeze you.”

He’s so happy to hear that! He knew you loved him too! He quickly becomes annoyed soon after though. Shouldn’t you be telling him these things to his face? It’s quite rude to not be honest with a person.

Goes up and just glomps you right there and then, it doesn’t matter who you’re with or where you are. It’s time to spend the rest of your day with him now! Go on! Tell him about how much you adore him! You have a lot of nerve making him wait!

He’s going to squeeze you all day! This is your punishment for not confessing sooner! It’s impossible to escape now, when Floyd makes up his mind nothing can stop him.

Trey had told Riddle to take a short break from his paperwork. Not wanting to go far from the dorm, he decided to take a stroll through the maze. It was meant to be a relaxing 10-minute walk, not a stressful be quick and hide situation. He did it on impulse! He really didn’t know you were going to be here talking your heart out.

He knows it’s extremely rude to listen in on a private conversation, but he can’t seem to stop. What kind of person have you fallen in love with while he yearns for you?

He almost starts to cry when he realizes it’s him. You sound so genuine and happy when you talk about him! Even if he isn’t your boyfriend just yet, he feels so loved!

Always having been self-conscious for his lack of romantic knowledge, he’s glad you seem to like him anyways! He’s been trying to show off a bit with his magic and intellect lately, it’s paying off it seems!

Feels very guilty nonetheless, he had no right to hear any of this. When he confesses one day, he’ll do his best to apologize.

Riddle tries to calm his racing heart and stop the intense blush on his face before he leaves. He’s quite grateful Trey forced him out here.

He was watching you through the cams he has set up around school. He wasn’t trying to spy on you or anything! He simply happened to be on the right camera at the right time.

He assumes the worst automatically. His self-loathing increases with every compliment you seem to give this mystery person. It clouds his logical thinking. Of course you would love someone else. He just spends his days wasting your time and doing nothing but hanging out in his room. He’s terrible with socializing too. You deserve a lot better.

The bigger part of him wants to shut-off his monitor, not wanting to listen anymore. The smaller part wants to know who’s the object of your affection. Who matches the description of “beautiful, long blue hair,” “pretty yellow eyes,” “adorable fanboy,” and “extremely smart.” It genuinely takes him a good minute or so to figure it out. It helps that you practically shout out his name too.

His entire being turns red, hair included. A room temperature increase follows suit.

His heart can’t handle this! You’re the heroine to this story! You’re supposed to get with one of the cool SSR characters?! The NPC character isn’t a part of the romance list!

Nearly collapses onto the floor in complete happiness and confusion. He’s not complaining, not at all! However, he does begin to question your taste in men.

Ortho is now rushing to his brother’s room. The levels of heat are getting dangerously high and he is panicking. He knows his brother can get random bursts of excitement, but never to this extent!

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst headcanons #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #jade leech #jade leech x reader #floyd leech #floyd leech x reader #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #idia shroud #idia shroud x reader

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undeadsnorlax · 3 years

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Stick ‘Em Up

Archive of Our Own

@badthingshappenbingo

I have been struck with Punisher brainrot the last few weeks, so why not fill a prompt up with my man Castle. my first time writing for this universe (or at least, first time publishing). and it’s sort of...my own version of the Marvel universe because canon is a playground and I’m a child who wants to break the swings.

Prompt: Hostage Situation

Fandom: Marvel Comics/The Punisher

Warnings: Canon-typical violence (all the stuff you’d expect from the Punisher, guns and killing)

Wordcount: 4596

Four robbers. Fifteen civilians. And one Punisher.

Or, Frank goes to the bank to cash a cheque and ends up caught in a hostage situation.

“Hey. Can you talk?”

“Yeah, yeah. Keep it quiet though. I’m in public.”

“Ooo, anywhere nice?”

“No. The bank.”

Frank could practically hear Micro rolling his eyes at his bluntness from the other side of the phone, only covered by the slight rumble of his computer chair moving across the floor.

“Cashing the cheque you got from Monroe, huh?”

Frank wrinkled his nose, peering over the line of people in front of him. “Uh-huh. I need a restock. Think you can arrange a meeting with Jackson?”

“Mm, sure can. I still can’t believe Monroe tried to bribe you into not killing him,” Micro scoffed, the usual click-clack of his keyboard audible under his voice, “Like, who the hell does that? You sure it’s a good idea to do this so soon though? The guy only just died…”

“Hasn’t been reported yet.” He dropped his voice, adding a slight growl as he spoke. “Probably won’t for a while, given where he’s laying now.”

“Urgh. I hate when you do that voice.”

On the other end of the line, there were a few beeps and bwoops, as Micro let out a content hum. “Anyway, called because I got more info on Ray Broad. I’ll drop it off at the usual spot at seven – sorry, at nineteen hundred hours. Then I’ll get Jackson to meet you in the usual spot at twenty-three hundred, ask if he’s got anything new in. Think you’ll be done by then?”

Frank shuffled up in the line, seemingly no closer to the front than when he’d started. “Hopefully. Thanks. Keep in touch.”

“Wow, that all I get-“

He hit the hang up button before Micro could finish, tucking his phone back into his jacket. With a small huff, he shoved his hands into his pockets, glancing around the rest of the bank. Every other line seemed just as slow, the other two that were open, the workers behind the glass looking stressed to get through everyone in good time.

Understaffed maybe?

“Hey grandma, hurry up will you?”

Frank’s attention moved to face ahead of him. He was only three people away from the counter. Currently being served was an elderly woman, and just behind her some impatient suit who crossed his arms.

The old lady turned around, a hand to her chest as she scowled. “Excuse me?”

“Sir, please,” the teller said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “I understand this is taking a while but-“

“You heard me,” the suit scoffed, ignoring the teller entirely, “Hurry your ass! You’re holding everyone up!”

Frank rolled his eyes a little, tuning out the conversation. Not my problem. Sooner he could get out of here, the better.

He wouldn’t usually waste time like this, but financing could be hard for vigilantes, and it was only a matter of days before Monroe’s body washed up somewhere along the East River. Or parts of him, anyway.

Six grand to save his life. Cheapskate even in the face of death. But it’d get Frank enough bullets to down another several jerks, so he could hardly complain.

The automatic doors at the entrance swung open again. He looked out of habit, keeping cautious to any small sound.

A group of four breezed in, nothing exactly out of the ordinary as three of them separated out to different corners of the room, one staying lingering by the door.

The hairs at the back of his neck pricked up.

They were each wearing a mask, those creepy ones you could get at a craft store in different vibrant colours. Somehow nobody had noticed, but then again not everyone was Frank Castle, years of extensive military training and intense paranoia all rolled up into one man.

The suit and old lady were still arguing, the teller desperately looking toward one of her co-workers for help. The woman just in front of Frank tutted, turning back to make some comment to him about this behaviour, but he was already distracted by flitting his focus on each of the newcomers, watching as one began to lock the door, when-

Bang-bang!

The sound of gunshots rang through the building, the presumably lead dipshit pointing a gun in the air as they looked around.

“Everyone on the ground, now!”

The security shutter was slammed over the door, as a few patrons let out a scream, another shot being fired.

“Nobody move or try anything funny, and this will be over soon.” He swerved around, nodding at the three bank tellers. “We’ve already disabled the alarm system, so don’t even try.”

“Shit,” Frank hissed, slipping his hand inside his jacket before cursing again.

No gun. Not even a goddamn combat knife. Out of character. He gritted his teeth as he remembered he’d just washed this jacket, forgot to put something into the concealed holster in his rush to get this over with. Idiot. You always double check!

Two of the robbers advanced at the counter, pistols outstretched. Frank glanced over what they were wielding – 9mm, semi-automatic. Browning, maybe? Not a scratch, they’re brand new. And it was obvious from how they held them. They had some conviction, some cocky air, but it was clear they’d barely even held the things before.

“I said get down!”

One swung around, aiming at the impatient suited guy from earlier. The guy hesitated just a second too long, frozen at the sight of the gun barrel staring him down, and was met with the base of the pistol smacked into the side of his head.

This was serious then.

He quickly dropped to his knees, hands raised up and shaking. Soon everyone followed, until Frank was the last one standing.

He hesitated, glancing around the room. Four robbers. Fifteen civilians.

And one Punisher.

“Hey! You listening?”

Reluctantly for now, Frank raised his hands and put them behind his head, kneeling down. He’d just have to wait.

“You two, keep everyone here in check,” the leader said, walking up to the staff door and kicking it open.

He reappeared on the other side of the counter and immediately grabbed the wrist of the clerk that had been serving Frank’s line, pinning it behind her back and lodging his gun to her neck. She tried to yell out, but the gun was just shoved harder.

“Shut it! You’re gonna take us through to the safes. Cyrus, you’re with me.”

The last guy nodded, jogging up before the three disappeared into the back room.

Frank swallowed, figuring out how to do this. He never usually found himself on this side of a situation, even when things went really bad. Even then, he usually had something to hand from his arsenal to help him. For now, all he had was his wits.

He took in the two left behind. One in a pink mask, one in a yellow. The leader had been wearing a black one, while the ‘Cyrus’ guy he’d yelled for was in blue. Good way to distinguish them all.

Yellow started to pace around the others being held hostage, whilst Pink, who’d been the one to hit the suited guy, stayed nearby, bouncing on his toes uneasily. It was almost impressive that out of this team of four, only one of them was fully confident, and they’d still managed to get this far, even for a bank branch so small.

Almost impressive.

“Can’t believe we’re doing this in broad daylight,” Pink said, rolling his head around his neck, “This feels too easy.”

“Dude, shut up,” Yellow snapped, kicking someone’s bag out of the way as he passed them, “Okay? Blayke knows what we’re looking for, and we’ll be outta here before anyone realises something’s up.” “I’m just saying, wouldn’t it be easier at night?”

He has a point, Frank thought, watching their movements carefully, Why would you break in during the day?

A whimper came from Frank’s side, distracting him. The woman who had been in front of him in line had huddled in on herself as much as she could, shaking like crazy as tears rolled down her face. He waited a moment until Pink turned away from them, before leaning in a little closer, keeping his voice hushed.

“Hey. What’s your name?”

The woman looked up, puzzled as she sniffed. “I-it’s Moira…”

“Okay Moira, I’m Frank.” He gave his best smile, as warm as he could manage right now. “I’ll get us out of this, okay?”

“How the hell are you gonna do that?!” came the hissed voice of the suited guy, gritting his teeth as he made sure the robber didn’t hear, “They have guns.”

“You have me,” Frank replied. Blunt and honest. “You got a name?”

“Jeremy, and-“ He cut himself off, eyes widening. “Wait, are you an Avenger?”

Frank couldn’t help scoffing, shuffling on his knees a little. If he timed it right, he could probably launch himself up from this position and have one of these assholes on the floor before the other could fire. Or maybe-

“Or like, an X-Men? Or...X-Man? Is...is that the singular?”

Oh, he’s still talking.

“Keep it down. I’m not-“

“Daredevil?”

Frank glared ahead. He went to snap some retort, but was beaten to the punch by the elderly lady smacking Jeremy across his arm.

“Hush, will you? He’s twice the size of Daredevil.” She leaned forward a little, aiming such a sweet smile in Frank’s direction. “Gladys, by the way.”

He blinked and nodded his greeting. Forming a whole little gang here...they could be useful though.

“Do you mean it though?”

Moira’s voice was weak, cracking at the edges as she kept sniffing loudly. “Can you really help us?”

“Yeah. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Hey! Keep it quiet back there!” Pink snapped, glancing over his shoulder.

Frank grinded his teeth together, glancing at the three to his side. He wouldn’t usually involve normal citizens, but he needed to disarm at least one of these jerks...just needed to bring them closer.

“I’m gonna need you to play along,” he whispered, just enough so the three of them heard, “Follow my lead.”

He waited for them all to nod, and he swallowed heavily. Drama had never been his strong suit in school, but he’d have to try.

He scrunched his face up and groaned loudly, lowering his hands to clutch his stomach. This didn’t draw any attention, so Gladys leaned forward a little.

“You alright sweetheart?” she cooed.

Frank forced a fake whine, doubling over and gripping his middle tighter. Moira gulped back some tears and called out.

“H-hey! Excuse me! This guy’s hurt here!”

Pink glanced down at Frank, before looking over at Yellow on the other side of the room. “What’s the protocol?”

“I dunno,” Yellow said, shrugging dismissively, “We were just told to watch them.”

Frank groaned again, slowly inching the zipper of his jacket down. Might as well make this a big entrance when it came to it.

“I know first aid,” Jeremy piped up with a shaky voice, making as if he was going to move, but the gun was pointed in his direction once more.

“You stay there!” Pink barked. He trailed off a little as Frank fell forward onto his elbows, starting to pant a little. “He seriously doesn’t look good Yas. Is this like, a heart attack or something?”

“Christ, just check him, then let that douchebag there help if it’s something serious.”

Perfect.

Irritatingly, Pink holstered his pistol as he came over, tucked into the pocket of his pants, but he could still reach it easily if he was quick enough.

Pink crouched down, putting a hand to Frank’s shoulder and rolling him onto his side a little.

“You good man? You got some kinda meds you need or-”

He froze. Thank God for strong branding and very few of Frank’s clothes not having it. With his jacket now unzipped, there was no missing the skull logo emblazoned on the shirt underneath.

Barely visible behind the holes of the mask, Pink’s eyes bulged. Frank allowed himself a quick grin.

“Shit, Yas, it’s the Pun-!”

Frank didn’t give him much more of a chance to finish as he lunged a hand toward his throat, sitting up in the same swift motion.

Pink was slammed to the floor, choking and flailing helplessly as Frank used his other hand to grab the pistol. My arm is now complete!

“What the fuck-“

Yellow’s focus was drawn to the scene now, as Frank scrambled to his feet, pacing forward as he quickly checked over the gun. Safety off, fully loaded clip. Cheap and cheerful, but it’d do whatever job he asked of it.

Pink still flailed on the ground, pointing at the skull as he desperately tried to catch his breath once more. Yellow faltered, taking a step back in shock.

“He’s the Punisher?!” Jeremy hissed behind him.

“We can do this quickly,” Frank said, dropping his voice down from his previous casual tone, “Best not to draw it out.”

“Thought you were more shoot first, ask questions later,” Yellow said, barely hiding the nervous chuckle he let out, “Too much collateral damage around for the Punisher?

Shit. The asshole wasn’t wrong. Frank was an exact shot, but it almost wasn’t worth killing these jerks at the risk of the civilians' lives.

Yellow took advantage of that hesitation, grabbing one of the other hostages and holding his gun to her head as she cried out. Frank sucked in through his teeth, calculating how he could do this. If he was clever, he’d manage to hit his hand or maybe his leg, something enough to get him to drop the hostage…

From behind him there was a yell, as Pink finally recovered and ran forward, attempting in vain to rush Frank and push him down. Of course it did nothing, other than piss him off when he was already in a bad mood.

It almost wasn’t worth killing them.

Frank swung a punch into his gut, winding him enough that he stumbled. Pink gasped, clutching his stomach, but still tried to run at him again. Frank huffed, grabbing Pink by the collar, fingers twisting the fabric of his shirt as he lifted him up, just enough that his toes were still on the ground.

He glanced at the pistol still in his hand.

“Wait, no, no, don’t-!”

The gun was lodged under Pink’s chin and fired without another thought.

There were a few screams as the body hit the floor with that dull thud he was numb to. He turned back, wiping the splashes of blood from his cheek with the heel of his hand, teeth bared.

Yellow started to shake, glancing around. Frank moved closer, head cocked to his shoulder.

“Let her go bud,” he growled, tensing the fingers of his free hand, “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

Yellow’s knees buckled slightly, losing all confidence in a few seconds as his gun fell to his side. He still had some cockiness left, as he shoved the hostage right into Frank, unexpectedly enough that he stumbled.

With Frank briefly distracted, muttering an apology to the lady as he got her steady, Yellow tried to make a break for it, rushing toward the staff door the rest of his crew had disappeared into earlier. Before he could make it, however, Gladys threw out her handbag, causing him to get tangled in the strap and trip into the ground with a hard smack.

Thank you grandma, Frank thought with a raised brow, rushing over and standing over Yellow, pressing one heavy boot down into his back.

He tossed a look back at the other customers, then toward the remaining bank tellers, still cowering behind the counter. “Keep quiet. Get that door open and get these people to safety. I’ll take it from here.”

The nearest one nodded, hurrying out and toward the entrance, as several of the hostages started to get to their feet, confused but clearly relieved as they awkwardly sidestepped Pink’s body.

Under his foot, Yellow whimpered. Frank just pushed down harder with a soft growl, a finger tensed against the pistol's trigger guard. “One wrong move kid, and I’ll-“

A hand brushed against his elbow, causing him to flinch as he turned his head, but it was only Moira, still sniffing. Lucky he wasn’t so itchy on the trigger.

“...thank you,” she whispered, smiling weakly as she moved to the exit.

Frank blinked, but gave a small nod, watching as the doors were opened and everyone filed out. He stayed where he was, glancing at the staff door every so often just in case. Still, he caught Jeremy immediately getting his phone out, grabbing his wrist as he passed.

“You better be calling your mommy.”

Jeremy hissed from the grip, struggling to pull away, letting Frank read the 911 already typed onto the screen.

“You’re the goddamn Punisher!” Jeremy said, stumbling as Frank finally let him go, “You killed a guy in front of us!”

“A guy who smacked you with a gun. You’re bruising already.” Frank blew out a dismissive breath, rolling his shoulders. “You wanna call the cops? Go ahead. I’ll be finished before they get here.”

He watched Jeremy fluster. The guy clearly wanted to argue, do some moral highhorsing or whatever it was people who didn’t understand his work did, but one half-hearted glare was all it took for him to back down.

“I’m still calling the authorities!” he cried, showing he’d hit dial on his phone’s screen as he stormed out.

Frank grunted, now alone in the bank’s lobby. Great. Got a time limit now.

Under his boot, Yellow squirmed. He’d almost forgotten about this asshole.

“What are you gonna do to me?” Yellow asked, voice quiet.

“Was waiting for it to be just the two of us, that’s all.” Frank wrinkled his nose, lifting the pistol up and aiming it at the back of Yellow’s head. “Traumatised the civilians enough killing your buddy. But, before I do anything...are you part of some bigger thing?”

Yellow started to answer, but Frank’s heel dug into his spine. “And as you can imagine, I don’t like liars.”

“N-no...there’s a few others, but we’re small time. Smaller than small, barely worth the time. I swear.”

He yelled out as Frank ground his boot down, pushing his full weight into him.

“Mould can start small,” he said, coldly, “Something you can ignore. But it grows eventually if you don’t take care of it, cause a lot more problems later down the line. Address. Names. Now.”

“I don’t know any, I never dealt with the higher ups. That’s Blayke’s job!”

Frank raised a brow. “That the one in the black mask?”

Yellow gasped for air, nodding. “Yeah. That’s all I know. I swear. We’re not important.”

“What the fuck-?!”

Frank looked up, to see the Blue masked robber standing behind the counter. He huffed, firing two shots off into Yellow’s head, feeling the breath leave under him. He’d outlived his usefulness.

Blue gulped, frozen and shaking on the spot. Frank quickly ducked to grab Yellow’s gun, still on the floor where he’d dropped it, tucking it into the waistband of his jeans, before walking through the staff door toward him.

“Yo, Cy! What’s with the racket?” came the leader’s voice from the other room, “Pierce acting up?”

Frank tilted his head, then pressed a finger to his lips, before making a turning gesture. Blue nodded obediently, doing as he was told. He was still shaking, but did well in disguising that anything was out of place as he called back.

“N...nothing boss. All good here. Yeah, just Pierce flexing a little, no worries.”

“Good man,” Frank whispered, stepping up behind and snapping the man’s neck with ease. Compliance deserved something swift.

He fell to the ground like a sack of flour, leaving his mask ripe for plucking off.

Frank took Blue’s face in. He looked young.

Wrong crowd huh kid? he thought, putting the mask on and walking through the back room.

The black masked guy was distracted, standing in front of a wall of half-open safety deposit boxes, most of their contents discarded to the floor.

“Where the fuck is it?!” he cried, turning to glare at the bank teller, cowering in one corner, “You said it was here!”

“I-I opened the safes with the numbers you gave me, there’s not much else I can do-!”

Frank cleared his throat to let them know of his presence. Black turned around, but barely looked, still clearly too frustrated to see his companion had grown a few inches and gained thirty pounds of muscle.

“It’s not here,” he said with a huff, pulling his mask off and throwing it to the ground, revealing another younger guy, “We were lied to.”

“Hm. What a waste.”

Black blinked, finally actually looking at Frank, and of course homing in on the skull.

“Oh...oh shit…! What happened to Cyrus?”

“What do you think?” Frank asked, ripping the mask off with a snap of cheap elastic, “Now let the lady go and we can have a nice civil discussion.”

Black had started to fire at him before he even finished his sentence. Frank was anticipating it though, and dived to the floor, rolling out of the way and behind a nearby desk.

“Shame,” he muttered, checking the one pistol again quickly before firing a few shots over the desk.

They pinged off the wall behind Black, one managing to graze his shoulder and making him hiss out in pain. He kicked down a nearby table to use as his shield, but not before grabbing the poor clerk and dragging her behind.

“Leave her go!” Frank barked, pressing the trigger only to fire blanks, “Shit.”

“No way Punisher,” Black said, his voice shaking, “If I’m gonna die today, I wanna at least put up a fight.”

He peered over the table at just the right moment for Frank to lob the empty gun in his direction, smacking him in the forehead. He fell back, but Frank knew it was nowhere near enough to kill him.

That was until he heard a dull thunk. Then another. What the hell?

Grabbing the second pistol from his waistband, he scrambled over to see the bank teller holding the barrel end of the gun he’d thrown. She brought it down again, slamming the base of the magazine against Black’s head. Blood was starting to trickle down the robber’s face, too dazed now to react.

“Asshole!” she screeched, going again but was met with resistance as Frank grabbed her wrist.

“Hey. Hey. It’s okay. I’ll deal with it.”

She gulped, seemingly coming back to her senses, as she let Frank help her to her feet.

“Is everyone safe?” she asked, watching as he crouched over Black.

“All the customers and your co-workers are, yes. These guys…” He sniffed. “Not so much.”

He paused a moment, before reaching into his jacket, holding out a small brown envelope to her.

“I...I came to cash a cheque. I still gotta get some more info outta this jerk, then leave as soon as possible. You mind getting my money?”

“Psh. Gladly.”

She hurried out of the room, leaving Frank to slap Black’s cheek, making sure he was still awake. He startled a tad, still trying to reach for his own gun that had fallen in the fight, but Frank pushed it further out of reach.

“Your buddy told me you know who hired you,” he growled, digging a knee into his stomach, “So talk. Names, anything.”

“I…I don’t have a name.”

Click. The pistol was pressed to his temple. Black whined.

“I mean it! The closest I got was ‘benefactor’. They call me, me and my boys do their shit. Easy as.”

Frank watched his face then grunted. This much was certainly true. “What were you looking for?”

“A necklace or some shit? With a locket on it. I dunno, I assume it was worth a tonne.”

As if reading his mind, Black added, “Drop off location given only when we reported having got it.”

“Hm. Must be pretty valuable to them.”

Frank was certain he could hear sirens in the distance. Hurry up…

“So that’s everything you got for me, huh?”

“Look, Castle, c’mon,” Black said, gripping at his wrist, struggling in vain to pull the gun away from his head, “I could help! Just give me a chance.”

“Think you screwed any chance you had when you took me hostage.”

His brains were splattered across the floor before he could argue any further.

***

“...and onto our main story. Five branches of the Brighter Bank were attacked at various locations around the city today. At exactly two-fourteen this afternoon, groups of masked individuals held up the banks, going through the safety deposit boxes in search of some unknown item.”

Frank sipped his coffee, eyes not moving from the TV in the corner of the cafe. Micro furrowed his brow, slipping a folder into his hand under the table.

“Thankfully, no civilians were injured,” the newscaster continued, the screen splitting to show another reporter, “However, the bodies of four robbers were found at the Brighter Bank located on Jasmine Avenue. With us is Hailey Edwards at the scene.”

The on-location reporter nodded and took over, gesturing at the cordoned off building behind her. “Eyewitness reports from those held at the building today say the deaths were the work of violent vigilante, Frank Castle, also known as The Punisher.”

“Jesus Christ, Frank,” Micro muttered, picking at the fries on his plate, “You ever take a day off?”

“You know I can’t,” Frank said, flicking through the folder on his lap quickly, before slipping it into the backpack he’d brought that sat at his side, ”Thanks again.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Police are currently investigating what could have been taken, and are heightening security around all Brighter Banks starting tomorrow. They urge any and all witnesses to step forward if they have any useful information, and also stress – do not approach the Punisher. Despite the reports of him safely getting all the hostages out today, police wish to remind the public that Castle is a highly dangerous individual.”

“How are things boys?” the waitress asked as she approached the table, pot of coffee in hand.

Frank gave her a warm smile, holding out his mug. “Wonderful as ever, Aggie.”

“Aw, that’s nice.”

She refilled his cup before walking on. Micro sighed a little, leaning forward on the table.

“You get any idea what those hold-ups were about?”

“Not much.” Frank poked at his half-eaten burger, wrinkling his nose. “They were hired by some other force. Searching for some locket, but they didn’t find it there. When I interrogated the guy that was meant to know, he said they only talk on the phone. Never met ‘em face-to-face. Maybe one of those other teams found whatever it was.”

“Jeez.” Micro ran his hand over his hair, glancing back at the TV once more. “It even worth pursuing further?”

“...no. Think it was just an ordinary locket. Hope so, anyway.”

Frank tapped at his backpack, raising a brow. “Bigger fish to fry right now. Wanna put my focus into bringing Broad down.”

“If you say so…”

Micro trailed off a little then smirked, getting that look in his eye that meant Frank immediately knew whatever was next out his mouth would irritate him.

“I still can’t believe you got caught up in a hostage situation.”

Frank grunted, taking a bite of his burger so he didn’t have to answer properly. “Shuddup Micro…”

#trope: hostage situation #badthingshappenbingo #the punisher #marvel fic #undeadbthb

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