#note for the mom: had to wait almost a whole week to post because the Radio Times wasn't up...
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Call the Midwife: Magazine Round Up - 13x01
Here are the CTM features and synopses of in the latest UK TV Magazines:
6-12 January 2024
TV Times
Radio Times
TV & Satellite Week
What's on TV
#call the midwife#ctm spoilers#ctm magazines#ctm interviews#ctm s13#ctm 13x01#sister julienne#patrick turner#stephen mcgann#rosalind clifford#shelagh turner#nancy corrigan#phyllis crane#jenny agutter#renee bailey#natalie quarry#joyce highland#note for the mom: had to wait almost a whole week to post because the Radio Times wasn't up...
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"this whole thing is a mess"
♡ tooru oikawa x reader - 1.3k
♡ warnings - none other than oikawa himself (and some ugly baby shenanigans)
♡ notes - hi! i'm purple and this is my first post, enjoy! (prompt credit from @creativepromptsforwriting)
It was a mess.
A big, tremendous, nearly-unfixable mess.
The day started off normal enough, you in your comfy gray sweat, loose shirt (that may or may not belong to Oikawa), a book you’ve been overdue to read in your hands. As your eyes scanned the pages, your attention was drawn away as you began to the thump thump thump of someone running up the stairs. And unless someone had broken into your house, you already knew who was currently making their way towards your bedroom.
As if on cue, a familiar ruffle of brunette hair came into view as said person came barreling through your door. For an athlete, it always bemuses you how Oikawa always got so winded running up your stairs.
You patiently wait for him to catch his breath. Finally, after he had decided that enough air had entered his lungs, he looked up and if you knew any better from the look in his eyes, you could already tell he was about to tell the most ridiculous thing ever. Because your boyfriend wouldn’t be doing the world justice if he were one for the dramatics.
“You would not believe what I just found out.”
Staring at him for a few seconds, you roll your eyes, close your books and turn your whole body to face him. This was gonna take a while. “Okay I’ll bite. Tell me what you found out.”
If you squint hard enough, you could almost see the joy gleaming in his eye from the fact that he caused you to turn your whole attention to him. But it quickly disappeared as he crossed the room and plopped down face first onto your bed, arms wide, and began whining.
You should convince him to take up theater.
“Come on Tooru, tell me what you came all the way up here for or I’m going back to my book,” Turning his face, Oikawa looked at you and gave his signature pout. If you called him out for it, he would vigilantly deny it.
“Did you remember when you went over to my mom's house a week ago?”
“When we visited for new years? Yeah I remember, remind me later to ask her for her mochi recipe.”
“Yeah, yeah. So you remember when the two of you decided to torture me by looking at my baby photos?” Honestly, he was the one torturing you with the way he was loudly complaining with each flip of the photo album.
If it wasn’t already obvious by the media attention, countless photo-shoot bookings, and (to his dismay) amount of fanfic being written about him, Oikawa Tooru was a very handsome man. Some might even argue (you) that the word pretty comes to mind when talking about the Argentina National Volleyball Team’s setter.
But a little secret that he had and would rather take to the grave is that he was a very, very ugly baby. At least by his standards. You have a running theory that he only thinks that way because Iwaizumi liked to taunt him about it, especially when they were younger.
“Yes Tooru, although I’ve told you pointless times that you were a very normal looking baby, I do recall looking at photos with your mom.” Reaching a hand out from under the warm blanket, you grab his hand that is closest to you and intertwine your fingers. You swear his pout lessens a little before he continued telling you about his current dilemma.
“Well I was scrolling online and you will not believe what I saw” Sitting up without disconnecting your hands, he sits on the bed, brown eyes now directly across from you.
“Well she. Posted. The. Photos.”
A beat of silence passed as he just stared at you, straight faced and serious.
And then you break eye contact by letting out a short laugh, which apparently broke a dam inside you because your free hand came up to cover your mouth as you tried to suppress the fit of giggles you couldn’t hold back anymore.
Oikawa just continues to stare at you, but now he had a dumbfounded expression on his face, as if he hadn’t just told you the worst possible thing to ever happen to him. Realizing you weren’t gonna stop, Oikawa lets out a long drawn whine, closing the gap in between the two of you and throwing his arms around your body, pressing his face into your neck.
The position caused you to uncover your mouth and now the only sound filling the room was your unfiltered laughs. As much as Oikawa loved listening to the noise, he hugged you tighter hoping you would eventually stop being entertained by his misfortune.
“Why do you hate me, babe. What have I done to deserve this mistreatment?”
As your laughter finally dies down, you reach your arms around and hug him back, rubbing one palm up and down his back as the other hand carded his brown moppy hair through your fingers. Your bedroom was now engulfed by a (rare) moment of peaceful silence as you felt him breathing into your neck.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’d have a knack for always being the most dramatic person in a room” A pause before his response.
“...no” An obvious lie, but you let it slide.
“Alright, what are people saying about your photos though? Can’t be that bad”
Sitting up straight again, his arms were still wrapped around your body so he had to crane his neck to look down at you and you find yourself doing a similar motion to look up at him. If anyone else saw the two of you like this, they might find the positioning comedic.
“It’s terrible. Absolutely horrible. This whole thing is a mess. The entire world is making fun of me as we speak.”
Rolling your eyes, you reach for your phone on the nightstand and begin searching for his mother’s post which wasn’t hard considering you closely followed her actively due to her weekly recipe post. And just as you presumed, Oikawa’s mom’s most recent post was a picture of some photos from the album the two of you looked at a few days ago.
You could tell they were pictures of Oikawa during his infant years, but only because you were able to see it in person but…. When you closely examined the post, you were astonished that anyone could even tell what the photo was off. Even though mama Oikawa had skills in the kitchen and taking pictures of the foods she makes, the woman wasn’t as skilled when photographing other things.
“Babe, literally no one can tell what this is a picture of. If I didn’t know any better, it just looks like she took a picture of a photograph of a loaf of bread and posted it.” A gasp falls from his lips, causing you to look back up at him.
“Are you saying I look like a loaf of bread? How dare you!” You are practically rendered speechless.
“No! I’m saying that unless people have seen the real thing, there is no way anyone would guess that it’s a photo of you as a baby. And I’m looking at the comment section right now, no one is saying anything about you, most people are asking what it even is.”
“What? I swear people were saying stuff” Snatching your phone, he also begins to scroll before he comes across a comment that read:
that’s the stupidest looking baby I’ve ever seen
Turning the phone to show you, he pointed at the words on the screen, giving you a wide eyed I-told-you-so look.
“See??” Looking at him, you gave Oikawa a blank stare.
“Tooru, Hajime is that one who commented that” Flipping the screen back around, his eyes quickly scan for the person who typed out the atrocious words and staring right back at him is Iwa-chan’s username, and profile pic of the gym he worked at.
“Oh”
Pondering his existence, Oikawa almost misses the snort you let out if it wasn’t for the explosion of laughter you let out.
Again
♡ hello! thank you for finishing my first work, i hope you enjoyed it. i would love any type of constructive criticism, either in regard of my writing, theme, or anything else
♡ i took a lot of my inspiration from @adoringhaikyuu, especially when creating my theme so i wanted to give them credit, and i completely recommend their work so go check them out
♡ thank you (again) and warmest regards, ms. purple
#oikawa tooru#oikawa x reader#haikyuu!!#haiykuu#haikyuu oikawa#oikawa fluff#tooru oikawa#haikyuu x reader#oikawa toru x reader#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#haikyuu x f!reader#oikawa tooru fluff#ms.purple♡writes
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SEVEN DAYS | PREVIEW
pairing: jeon jungkook x reader
genre: beach town au / fluff, angst, eventual smut
word count: 1,755
description: You thought that it was just going to be be a normal vacation to the beach. Seven days of hanging out with your parents before moving away for grad school. It was supposed to be that simple. However, when you meet a local boy that wants to show you how life is lived by the water, you don't realize just how quickly you can be dragged under.
note: Hello, everyone. It’s been a very long time since I’ve posted anything writing related on this account, but getting back into things that made me happy has really been helping me. I know it says multi parts and this is just a preview, and I’m not the most reliable person ever lol. But I just want to put some creativity back into the world, and this is a story I wanted to write years ago that is just now coming to fruition. Thanks for all the support!
Day 01: Sand Dollar Budget
Day 02: Shark Teeth Over Seashells
Day 03: Jason's Woods
Day 04: Legend of the Lighthouse
Day 05: New Moon
Day 06: Lightning in a Bottle
Day 07: Lost at Sea
“Are you gonna stay underneath that umbrella the entire time?”
Your jaw clenched, toes nestling themselves further into the sand, as if that would somehow anchor you in place. The constant crash of the waves in front of you had induced an almost trance-like state, so the sound of your mother’s voice had thrown you off completely.
“You know I don’t like the sun,” You responded, turning to face your parents who were just a few feet away, relaxing in their lawn chairs. “It’s hot, and I enjoy the ocean a lot more when I don’t have to squint while looking at it.”
“It’s called sunglasses.” Your mom tapped her face, showing off the simple fix to your complaint. “And the sun kind of comes with the territory of being in Florida, dear.”
“Yeah, yeah,” You mumbled.
“Go in the water then. You haven’t been in all day. You’re gonna waste your whole time here.”
You sighed heavily. Wasn’t the point of vacation to spend it in whatever way you found pleasurable? And if for you that was relaxing beneath the shade, what was so wrong with that? Plus… your fear of the ocean and all of its infinite surprises lurking beneath might also possibly be a factor. You were from a landlocked state, after all. Did she forget that your closest interaction with the ocean until now was through pictures?
Though, when you really thought about it, maybe being dragged away by some possible sea creature with sharp teeth would save you from the pit of anxiety you had been drowning in for some time now.
Colorado to California.
In just two weeks you were going to be moving states away from all you had ever known. No friends, family or even acquaintances waiting for you on the other side. Of course, you knew you should be grateful for this opportunity. It was a prestigious program that was tough to get into. But regardless of understanding your lucky position, it didn’t change the festering fear clouding your head. Fear that was apparently so strong, it was actually driving you into thinking a shark attack might be ideal.
Only dramatics of course, because your next move was standing up to proclaim, “Fine, I’ll be at the pool.”
“Not what I meant, but better than nothing.” You couldn’t see your mother’s eyes, but you knew they were rolling into the back of her head.
You fought your way up the sandy hills. Each step having your feet slipping beneath the grains. And after a lifetime of this you finally made it to the wooden dock that led from the private beach to the beach house you were staying at for the next seven days.
It was a beautiful sage-green house that stood on top of wooden stilts, and an outside staircase that brought you up to the front door. It was only one of many that stood in an endless line down the beach front as far as the eye could see in either direction.
You got interrupted in your admiration of the different houses as you did an awkward run across the blazing hot wooden path. Definitely should’ve grabbed your flip-flops, you thought to yourself.
“Ow, ow, fuckin’ motherfuck,” You whispered as you finally landed back on a patch of grass on the other side of wooden planks. You breathed a sigh of relief as you dug your feet into the cool dirt before walking towards the back of the collection of beach houses, where a community pool was.
Most of these houses were owned by snowbirds who only lived in Florida during the fall and winter when the northern states became too cold. This left hundreds of houses all over the south of the state open to people from everywhere in the country to have a little week of ocean paradise.
Paradise.
That is what you needed to treat this trip like. No worries about moving and having to start over. Just being here in this moment for the short amount of time that you were here. You decided that was going to be your new mindset moving forward as you opened the gate to the pool.
The pool was quite large, but there was a group already huddled up in one corner of the shallow end. You counted two boys and two girls as you scanned for an open lawn chair to lay your things down.
You couldn’t help but notice how attractive they were as you started to take off your bathing suit cover. It was only amplified as you got closer while wading down the steps into the water. You were lost in this thought when the group suddenly turned to face you. You froze up just expecting a simple friendly wave of acknowledgment. However, that was thrown out of the window when one of the group began to drift towards you.
“Hey, nice to meet you!” One of the boys said as he extended his hand while you settled waist deep into the water.
“Oh, nice to meet you as well.” You shook his hand, not used to such sudden introductions.
“Jesus, Jimin. What’ve we told you about ambushing people like that?” One of the girls said, lightly smacking his shoulder. “Sorry about him. He was never taught manners. My name’s Reina.” She smiled.
“How the hell’s that any different than what I just did?” The boy, apparently named Jimin, asked while crossing his arms in annoyance.
“Well you already broke the ice without giving her a second to breathe, so I had to.”
Jimin looked like he was about to say something back until the other boy in the group came up and looped both of his arms around their necks, pulling them closer together. “Alright now lovebirds, you’re scaring the tourists.”
Ah, that explains their playful squabbling. “Oh, you guys are dating. You look super cute together,” You said.
Jimin immediately stood up taller, grabbing Reina closer. “Yeah, I accidentally caught a fishing hook in her hand when we were fourteen and she’s just been tagging along ever since.” He smiled, peppering kisses on her cheek.
“Well, it showed me how bad at fishing he is, so I knew he wasn’t gonna be one of those guys out on the boat for hours ignoring their girlfriend.” She grinned during the insult before getting her head dunked underwater.
“I’m gonna kill you!” She yelled as she swam towards Jimin who was already jetting towards the deep end of the pool.
“That’s what you get!” He laughed as she caught up with him and began splashing at him.
You smiled watching them together. You weren’t lying when you said they looked cute together. Though your smile faded after a few seconds, because seeing them reminded you of your own situation. Not only was the idea of grad school itself weighing you down, but it had actually been the downfall of your longest relationship. After you found out you were accepted into the program in California a few months back, things took a turn for the worse in your love life. He was not able to see a future in a long distance relationship spanning a few states, so unfortunately you had to call it quits after three years of being together. You started to dwell on these thoughts when you were thankfully snapped out of it by the guy who had tried to stop Jimin and Reina’s bickering a few minutes prior.
“Sorry about them. Taunting each other is their favorite hobby. I’m Namjoon, by the way.” He smiled, dimples popping out as the sun reflected off his almost platinum blonde hair.
“No, it’s no problem. It’s pretty cute actually.”
He shook his head. “Trust me, the charm wears off after more than a decade of having to watch it.”
Wow, a decade, you thought to yourself. And the comment actually made you remember something. “Oh, that reminds me. You called me a tourist.”
His eyes went a little wide as an apologetic look crossed his face. “Sorry, totally didn’t mean for that to sound rude. I know some people can complain about tourists, but we love meeting you guys.”
“No, no, I wasn’t mad about that,” You said, waving off his concern. “I just meant that means you guys actually live around here full time.”
“Born and raised by the water, baby.” He raised his beer.
The last person you hadn’t been introduced to yet then swam over towards the two of you. “Well, except for me. I’m Lisa, by the way… It’s actually my last full day before we’re heading back home.” She looked sad as she said that, lips pursing as it set in that her time here was almost over.
However, it looked like some people had not seemed to realize she was almost set to leave, because immediately Namjoon turned towards her, mouth open.
“Oh my god, I forgot you were leaving tomorrow! It feels like you just got here like two days ago.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Lisa said, dipping her head beneath the water for a few seconds.
“Well, this will absolutely not be how you spend your last night in this town.” Namjoon stood up, making his way up the stairs so that he could stand over everyone in the pool. “Announcement!”
“Yes, oh great leader,” Jimin yelled from the deep end of the pool, where he and Reina seemed to have made up.
“It’s Lisa’s last night, so I have an idea.”
“Oh, oh, oh!” Reina explained as she began kicking her way back to the shallow end. “Jungkook’s band plays at Blue Tiger tonight after he gets off his shift at the marina.”
Namjoon clapped his hands together. “Read my mind Reina!”
Everyone got immediately excited and began pulling themselves out of the water.
“Jungkook?” You asked, still standing in the pool.
When you asked about this mystery man, some of the members of the group looked at each other and gave a strange smile.
“Uhm, just another one of our friends that lives here too.” Namjoon suddenly reached his hand down to you, silently asking for you to take it. “He’s really good. Wanna join?”
You were surprised by the offer, since you had only met these people ten minutes ago. But you thought to yourself, this was exactly the type of thing you needed to distract yourself from all the stresses from your life. Plus, this Jungkook character sounded intriguing enough.
With that, you reached up for Namjoon’s inviting hand. “Sure.”
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friends date pt.2 || nicholas x reader
note: finally right? it’s been like ages since pt.1 but i finally got around to finishing this ^_^ hope you enjoy give me some feedback i always love to hear it !! (also i didn’t proofread i just wanted to post this already aaah)
wc: 2,533 words
as you walked along side each other, you tried to stay involved in the conversation but you really couldn’t stop thinking of what your mom had said. ‘make him your boyfriend already’ she had to be joking. how could she say that? he was your best friend, for years, basically your whole life. and in what way did y’all act like a couple? you literally just acted like friends… whatever, just let it go, she doesn’t understand. no one needed to understand your relationship with nicholas except you and him, and that’s all you needed. “you okay?” he said, interrupting your thoughts. “hm? oh yeah i’m fine, my mom was just being… weird,” you said, laughing it off awkwardly. “oh uh, you wanna talk about it?” he offered but you just shook your head and he let it go. he knew you well enough to know that if you wanted to tell him you would, sooner or later.
you tried to not think about it too much because you knew he’d notice. “so where are we going this time?” you asked, trying to get back to your usual self. "hmm..." he started, staring up at the sky pretending to think about it, "it's a surprise." you chuckled, looking down at the ground, and he looked down at you beside him with the sweetest smile that you just so happened to miss. "oh i bet i’ll be so surprised,” you said, sarcastically. there really wasn’t anywhere you hadn’t taken each other. after all these years, you knew every single one of each others favorite spots. but you could never get bored of any of them, or maybe you’d just never get bored of him…"come on, we're almost there," he said, holding his arm out for you to link yours. you hesitated but took his offer quickly, giving him a smile as to not give yourself away. he always did that, that's how you always walked with him, especially in crowded places. it's normal, friends link arms. you and nicholas are friends who link arms. though, what wasn’t quite normal, was the feeling in your stomach when his skin came into contact with yours. not to be cliche but you felt butterflies in your stomach as you walked so closely to him.
the walk after that wasn’t too long. everything in the city was pretty close, you tried to figure out where he was taking you. you’d already passed up most of your favorite arcades, so no, and the science museum was your favorite but he passed it up too. the zoo wasn’t too far from here just on the other side of the big local park in the center of downtown. “hey, i said surprise, stop trying to figure it out,” he said, waving a hand in front of your face. you laughed, swatting his hand away, “okay okay.” “it’s this way,” he said, turning toward where the zoo was. maybe you were right, you hadn’t been to the zoo in a while. you smiled to yourself, proudly, there hadn’t been a time when you hadn’t guessed correctly where he was taking you. then he suddenly came to a stop, and was pulling the door of a huge building open. “wait- i thought we were going to the zoo,” you said, kind of off guard. he smiled, “nope, you guessed wrong. one point for me.” you rolled your eyes and looked around still trying to figure out where he’d brought you. you’d never been here before and the building was unfamiliar, despite you and nicholas having seen most of the city. the lights were dim and it was cold, you could make out waves and ripples painted onto the wall though. “here, sit here while i get our passes,” he said, walking you over to a bench at the side of the room. he got in line and your gaze found the reception desk, finally noticing to blue led letters behind the employees. aquarium. you smiled to yourself, feeling a blush rise up in your cheeks. you had sent him a tiktok a couple weeks ago of one of the biggest aquariums in the world. it was beautiful and you added that you had never been to one before. but honestly you thought he didn’t take the time to watch all the tiktoks you sent him daily or even read your replies. you almost teared up at the thought of someone caring so much.
a couple minutes passed before he came back holding both wristbands in his hand. when you noticed him coming back, you stood up taking a couple steps toward him. you smiled shyly, and he returned it taking your hand to put your wristband on. “were you surprised?” he asked, looking up at you while he adjusted the band. “yeah, i’ve never been to an aquarium before,” you said, smiling fondly at him. “i know, i remember you told me so i wanted to be the first one to bring you,” he said, handing you his band. his hand was warm when you brought it up to wrap the band around his wrist. “hm, well who else would want to bring me,” you scoffed, lightheartedly. you kept your head low to hide the embarrassment dusting your cheeks, but the look he had in his eyes was not one of pity. he looked at you with stars in his eyes, you’d have to be an idiot to not see how much he adored you. you looked back up at him once you were finished, taking a step away from him toward the double doors. but he stopped you, taking hold of one of your hands, pulling you back a bit. “y/n, anyone would be happy to bring you,” he said, taking a step toward you. he looked at you and you could tell he wanted to say something but he didn’t. he stared at his hand holding yours, then intertwined your fingers. you felt goosebumps from his hand being completely connected to yours. “guess i just always get to be the lucky one,” he said, looking back up at you. your faces only an inch or two away from each other but neither of you moved away for a couple of seconds. you’d never felt tension like this, not with him at least. you kind of hoped he’d lean in some more, or confess something to you in that moment. he backed up and gave you a small smile, and you couldn’t quite read the look in his eyes as he walked you through the entrance.
it was nice, there wasn’t too many people but just enough to fill the silence with quiet conversations. there was a long hallway with marine life facts before the first room. once you entered, the first tank was huge, taking up the whole wall. there was a family and a couple in the room with you. the kids sitting pointing up at the tank and the couple sitting on a bench, leaning into each other. you looked down at your intertwined hands again. finally you looked up into the tank and it was almost like you were inside the tank because of how large it was. you watched the fish make their rounds around the tank, the larger animals taking longer than the small ones. you gasped softly when you saw a small shark making it’s way around. “look, a shark,” you said, only loud enough for him to hear. you pointed excitedly with the hand that wasn’t holding his. “want a picture with it?” he said, letting go of your hand and scooting back quickly when you nodded. he took out his phone and you posed pointing up at the shark before it could move away. he snapped a few, then looked down at his phone, satisfied. he moved beside you to show you the pictures, placing his other hand on your back as you swiped through. you flinched at his touch but not enough for him to notice. what was up with you today? he was always like this with you. both of you were, you were both touchy. but friends are touchy, it’s fine that’s how people show their love. but if you were only his friend and he was like this with you does that mean he’s like this with his other friends? no. no this is not jealousy. you weren’t jealous because he’s just your friend. and it’s okay if he’s touchy with you and it’s okay if he’s touchy with his other friends too… except you still felt somewhat bothered by the thought. you looked up at him and he looked back at you, staying like that for a second. you were close again, really close and you felt yourself leaning towards him. in that moment you almost forgot where you were and that there were other people in the room with you. you blushed again as you took a step back, “uh yeah, they look nice,” you said, hurriedly walking past him, toward the next room.
you spent the rest of your time avoiding his touch, like when your hands brushed past each other as you walked or when you both tried to pet the same stingray. and of course, he noticed. he noticed something was off since he picked you up but he didn’t want to force you to tell him. “you sure you’re okay?” he said, sitting beside you on the small wooden bench. you had decided to stop and take a break, finding vending machines near the bathrooms. he handed you a water bottle and you drank from it before answering. “yeah i’m fine,” you smiled at him as you handed him the bottle. he nodded, as he took a sip from it too. indirect kiss. you looked away, hoping the heat in your cheeks wasn’t too obvious. “the hallway before the last room is made completely of glass, like a semi-cylinder, i think you’ll really like it,” he said, as he stood. he held his hand out for you to grab it so you did. “you’ve been here before?” you asked, feeling shy all of sudden. “yeah, my mom brought me a couple of times,” he said, leading you towards the next area. you nodded, but for some reason, you felt relieved. the doorway leading into the hallway that nicholas mentioned was glowing, much brighter than the rest of the aquarium. once you stepped in you were in awe, it was like nothing you’d ever seen before. the fish were swimming all around you and the water cast these wonderful shadows onto the floor beneath you. “it’s beautiful,” you said, as you continued walking. he stayed behind as you went on, not knowing where to look. too many colorful animals and plants to choose from. you reached up trying to touch the curving glass above you but you could just barely graze it. “yeah, beautiful,” he said, but when you looked back at him he wasn’t looking up at the tank like you were. he was looking at you. you both blushed when you made eye contact for a split second. then both of you looked away abruptly, trying to find anything else to look at.
you made it through the hall and into the last room. looking around quickly, and taking a couple pictures. but when you exited the aquarium, you didn’t hold hands or link arms like you usually did. you just walked silently, side by side, onto the deck outside. it looked over the ocean and the sun was setting as you made it out. you both stopped at the edge to watch the sunset, folding your arms over the wooden rail. “did you call me beautiful in there?” you finally spoke after a few minutes of silence. he groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “i couldn’t help it, i’m sorry, it was weird,” he said, his face still buried in his hands and you laughed. “no it wasn’t weird… it was kinda sweet,” you said and he looked back up at you. he watched your face for any sign that you didn’t really mean it but you just smiled. “… no one’s ever said that to me,” you said, making him raise his eyebrows, beyond shocked. “like ever? how?” he said, standing up straight from his previous hunched over position. “well just my parents or friends when i’m all dressed up, but never just like that,” you said, looking down at the water under the deck. the sun was gone now just leaving the moons reflection on the dark water, but you could still see and hear the small waves washing in. “well you are beautiful… everyday, just like that,” he said, turning his body to face you now. you just smiled at him with your head resting on your hand. he knew you weren’t good at taking compliments, never really believed anyone when they praised you. you always have half-hearted ‘thank you’s or smiles that didn’t reach your eyes. so when he took a step into your personal space and placed a hand under your chin, he just wanted to show you that he was being genuine from the bottom of his heart. “i really mean it y/n,” he said, looking directly into your eyes. the bright, yellow lights that were hung across the pier making your eyes shine just slightly more than they usually did. he didn’t just think you were beautiful, he knew it and he was mesmerized by you right now just like he always was. your chest felt tight as you placed your hand above his on your cheek, leaning into his warmth. you closed your eyes and took a deep breath, and when you looked up at him again, you were sure. with your other hand, you pulled him down until his lips came into contact with yours. and you kissed him, like you never thought you’d want to kiss anyone. his lips were soft and gentle as they moved against yours. after a minute, he pulled away and placed your hand on his chest. “my heart’s gonna explode,” he said, making you laugh because his heart was in fact beating so fast. he placed his forehead on yours and closed his eyes, unable to contain the smile that remained on his lips. “you don’t know how long i’ve waited for you to do that,” he said, barely above a whisper. so you kissed him again, this time more passionately. “then i won’t ever make you wait again,” you replied, just as quietly. now he took his turn to kiss you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he smiled into the kiss. and when you lost count of how many times he kissed you and you kissed him, he walked you home. with your arm wrapped around his except this time it wasn’t in a “friends” way and you didn’t even try to deny it. you leaned into him and he kissed the top of your head and every single thing about this felt right. the only thing you were worried about now was how you would explain this all to your mom…
#heart4gyu#violetsblog#kpop#jpop#&team#nicholas#&team nicholas#wang yixiang#nicholas x reader#nicholas imagine#nicholas fanfic#&team x y/n#&team imagines#&team x reader#&team soft hours#&team scenarios#&team fluff#&team drabbles
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updates,
I was pretty stressed last Saturday because I was feeling mentally burned out and exhausted and had to work for part of the day, representing my organization at an event and making a presentation :/ It ended up going well, I met some nice people, and got an interesting idea for my next work project. The rest of the day was wonderful - Derek and I played board games and went out for dinner at our favorite neighborhood Chinese restaurant. ❤️ We've been eating out a lot less over the last six months or so, just like once a month, so it was a special treat.
Sunday was a great day. I had a fun morning workout and went to a horror play at Theater Mu. I love them - they're the largest Asian American theater company in the Midwest and their shows are always so well written and acted. I'm really happy to have been able to attend more plays over the last six months or so. Living in a place with so many local theater companies is my favorite part of living in the Twin Cities.
I also made a new recipe for dinner that night that turned out super well - hot honey crispy baked salmon bowls with broccoli. :)
I have been limping and crawling through this work week. Work has been overwhelming for almost a month straight. I'm grateful to have a leadership role, but it's challenging and exhausting to not just work on my own solo projects and to-do list items, but to lead and support others every time they have a problem or need something, which is often.
This week also became challenging because my mom reached out to me on Tuesday night (a day after my last post on here where I said that I was sure I hadn't heard the last from her yet, ironically) and told me she was planning on moving to India later this year. I had to handle that conversation in a more polite way than "don't let the door hit you on your way out." Talking to her, as always, brought up a lot of negative feelings. She said she wants to see me before she leaves, but I held off on committing to that - partly because of the reason below.
On a more positive note, I had my long awaited appointment with my new OB-GYN yesterday :) I really like her. She's experienced, she's from the same culture as I am, and she left me feeling with a sense of knowledge and optimism about this whole pre-conception and conception process. I'm going to go off the pill when my current pill pack is over at the end of March and then start tracking my cycle to see what it is like, if/when I ovulate, etc. I have PCOS, so the question of whether I ovulate naturally is yet to be determined. I've been on the pill for my entire adult life and during my teenage years to treat PCOS, so I'm curious and a bit nervous to see what happens when I'm off it. I'm curious and excited to see if/when I could conceive this year.
I'm writing this while I wait at the airport for my flight to Tokyo. This trip snuck up on me after I booked it. As recently as last week, I thought that my trip was 3 weeks away - even though I theoretically knew it started on March 7. Then I realized March 7 was next Thursday and not 3 weeks away. 🤦🏾♀️
I'm really excited to have this time for myself. I push myself really hard at work, at home, and with personal development goals. I enjoy what I do. I like grocery shopping and cooking, I like working out, I like studying Spanish every day. I even like my job, most of the time. But sometimes it just feels exhausting to juggle it all, and it's so nice to take time where I'm not doing anything for anyone else but myself. :) It feels especially timely because I hope to start my master's in social work program in September, and I hope to possibly be growing the family by then too!
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As promised to no one but myself, here's a quick rundown of my mom's epic Utena theories/reactions as of the end of the Student Council Saga (and ep 13 b/c recap)
-I don't remember anything specific for the first 3 episodes, other than general anger at Saionji and deciding Nanami was a brat. My bad-
-*at start of show* "Okay, mom, pay attention to the opening since it has clues" "Okay!" *episode 4* "Wait, is that the bratty sister in the opening?" "...you just noticed that?" "Oh hush, you know I never pay attention to openings"
-I don't remember exactly what she said, but she quickly realized that Miki REALLY wants to get reconnected with his sister and his 1st crush is getting all mixed in it
-also she officially finds Nanami funny, says she "acts more like a 10 year old" then a 12 year old
-spent the entire Tsuwabuki into episode absolutely funny/shocking. Spent the whole time laughing and gasping
-figures out the lesbian Juri plot twist immediately
-also spent the entire curry episode laughing and lightly concerned over how determind the elephants were
-*about Touga* "He is so not her prince!" <- repeated with more frustration everytime Utena thinks that
-*in episode 9* "I almost feel bad for Saionji..." *he slaps Anthy again* "Nevermind"
-"Well, the girl is Utena but Touga isn't the prince from the opening..?" "Yeah, Saionji just doesn't know about that, and the show is trying to confuse us" "I knew it!"
-*episode 10* "Did... did she kill the cat?" "Yeah" "...WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?!?" "Lots of things"
-*after episode 11* "Just because Anthy HAD to agree with everything Utena said doesn't mean she would have disagreed with her. While Anthy is never truely herself, I think she could be as close to "herself" as possible when she was with Utena, even if she didn't mean to"
-*episode 12 opening sequence* "Okay, so that's Utena's real prince opening his eyes. He's connected to the weird upside down castle and Anthy somehow. The whole "crack the world's shell" thing is probably actually about waking him up, but does the student council know that?" "...maybe!" "You've seen this twice" "I'm trying not to spoil anything!"
-Spent all of episode 12 agreeing with Wakaba
-*when Juri gives Utena the sword* "oh I know her! She's the girl duelist who was in love with the girl" "Yep, and they had that whole love triangle" "Which could have been solved if she just communicated with her crush" "none of the characters communicate" "I KNOW! It's very frustrating!"
-"Just because Touga has the sword of Dios doesn't mean he has Dio's power. Dio's might just give his power to Utena anyways" *later in the duel* "called it! Also is he like... a ghost??"
-"Okay mom, this is the recap episode, but it does have important lore" *after the first flashback* "I think this might be a recap!" (teasing me)
-"So I was right about the prince needing to be reawakened, but they aren't explaing anything else. Also who's the suspicious man talking to him?"
-*in the next episode preview* "...Why does Anthy's brother have the same silhouette as the suspicious man??"
Overall, she's getting the main duelist down pretty good. She's still the most confused about Nanami and Touga. She's technically right about her "Dios" theories, but also technically wrong because AKIO. Also completely unaware of the Anthy twist, but having pretty good opinions about her so far.
Please note she does not know anyone's names besides Anthy and Utena. I paraphrased so it would be easy to tell what she's talking about. She consistantly refers to chacers as "(personality trait/design characteristic) (gender)" (ie. "Bratty sister" or "green hair boy").
We did get to episode 14, but imma put all that into a different post. Hopefully I'll remember to update my drafts every week next time so I don't forget as much!
#revolutionary girl utena spoilers#revolutionary girl utena#dear mama...#hydra's rgu rants#rgu spoilers#rgu#student council saga
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So Far Away 01
Masterlist
✨Pairing: Yoongi x reader (brothers best friend)
✨Summary: When Namjoon finds out that his father cheated on his mother years ago and had a child he makes it his mission to fulfill his fathers dying wish and meet his long lost sister and form a relationship, he doesn’t however expect for her to fall in love with one of his best friends along the way.
✨Words: 1300
✨Notes: chapter 2 will be posted either Wednesday night or Thursday morning so please look forward to the next update😊
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“Does mom know?” Namjoon angrily asks his father. The man in question just guiltily shakes his head no as he looks down at his hands that sit in his lap.
Namjoon is quiet for the next few minutes, still trying to process what his father just told him.
Recently his father had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and for the past couple of weeks been quite sick.
This morning namjoon got a call from his father telling him he wanted to talk to him about something very important, and out of all the scenarios he envisioned in his brain none of them could have prepared him for what he was just told.
“Namjoon, son-” his father had started before going quiet, still trying to find the right words to say. “There’s no easy way for me to say this so I’m just going to say it” another pause.
Namjoon throws a questioning look towards his father but stays quiet, waiting for him to tell him whatever he had to say.
“A few years after you were born I met this woman and we soon became friends. It started off innocent but quickly became something more. For the next year me and her got closer and eventually the relationship became physical.” He tells him and Namjoon feels himself getting angry.
“No, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her, figured that if she didn’t know she wouldn’t be hurt” he tells son who only scoffs in return.
“You didn’t want to hurt her?” He asked in disbelief, shaking his head. His entire life he’s looked at his parents marriage as one that he wanted to follow.
He wanted to fall in love the same way his parents did, he wanted him and his wife to still be madly in love even 30 years later. He wanted to be the only person his wife wanted to be with and vice versa.
But to sit here and find out that it was all just a lie? That his whole life was a lie. And now he has a random sibling somewhere in the world that he hasn’t met is beyond crazy to him.
“why are you telling me all of this?” He asks “why not take it to the grave?”
His dad sighs deeply, because truth be told, that’s the same question he’s been asking himself. Why? Well the answer is simple.
“I’m telling you because I want you to find her, I want you and your sister to have a relationship.” He finally says and namjoon looks at him like he has two heads or something.
“Why would I want to find the person who almost ruined our family?” He questions, bewildered.
“She didn’t almost ruin anything” he says honestly. “I did, I choose to sleep with her, I was the one who initiated the relationship. She didn’t know I was married when it started and I should’ve told her but I didn’t.”
They’re both quiet for a few moments. He takes his sons hand in his, squeezing tightly for a second.
“I don’t want you to hate your sister, or her mother. If you want to hate some-” his sentence is cut short as a fit of coughs force there way out of him. He’s out of breath and namjoon wants so badly to be upset with his dad.
He wants to hate him for what he’s done. But looking at him laying in the hospital bed, he just can’t.
He squeezes his dads hand back and forces and small smile. “I don’t hate you” he tells his father honestly. “But I’m disappointed. I’ll try to find her and I promise you that we’re going to form a relationship.” He says.
They talk for a while more as namjoon tries to get information about his sister or her mother to help him on his journey to find them.
It’s an hour and a half later when he’s walking out of the front doors of the hospital and heading back in the direction of the dorm, mind cloudy.
~~~~~~~
“I’m so ready to go home” you tell your best friend, Logan, the two of you had a closing shift at the movie theater in your small town. It was now close to midnight and you bed was calling your name.
“Same, I’m so happy I’m off tomorrow cause if I had to clean up another popcorn spill I was going to lose my mind” she says and you laugh, throughout your entire shift she kept messaging you telling you how there was a million pieces of popcorn that she had to clean up.
“At least you didn’t have to clean the mens restroom” you say, a shiver runs through your body at the memory. Why were men so gross?
The two of you cross the street and take a seat at the bus stop, checking the time on your phone you see that you still have at least 10 minutes before the bus is supposed to arrive.
You and Logan have been friends for forever. Both of you were the new transfer student at school during 4 grade and instantly gravitated towards each other. Before you knew it she was your best friend.
The sound of her ringtone pulls you out of the mini daydream you we’re having, J-Hope’s voice blaring through the speaker since she insisted on having his verse from Cypher pt3 as her ringtone.
She answers it and it’s her mom, asking when she was going to be home. You quickly put your face in the camera, saying hi and starting your own little mini conversation with her.
A few minutes later the bus pulls up and you both head straight towards the back, taking your seats.
“Wanna spend the night?” She asks as the two of you walk the couple of blocks to your street. You nod your head, already pulling out your phone to call your mom.
“Yeah, let me just call my mom first” you say, phone already ringing.
She picks up on the second ring “hey, can I spend the night at lo’s?” You ask, knowing she’s going to say yes.
After you get the confirmation the two of you walk up the driveway leading to her house.
“Pizza?” She says throwing you a shirt and a pair of shorts to sleep in, you don’t even reply, instead moaning loudly at the thought of a hot slice of Hawaiian pizza, as you rub your stomach.
She rolls her eyes at your dramatics before pulling out her phone and dialing the number to your local pizza place. She orders your regular, two pizzas. One and regular boring pepperoni and the other a Hawaiian for you.
You take a quick shower so that she can take one too before the pizza comes.
“Have you checked your email today?” She asks, walking out of the bathroom, shirt drying her hair. Your eyes widen as you remember that you did not in fact check your email today and you were waiting for a very important email from one of the colleges you applied for.
You quickly rush over to her desk, opening up her laptop and logging in to your email, eyes scanning for a email from the school when your eyes land on one email in particular.
“DNA test?” You question to yourself. Why the hell would you need a dna test? You quickly click on the email, reading the contents with wide eyes, mouth open wide.
“Hey is everything okay?” Logan asks concerned, walking over to where your sitting in front of her desk. She reads the email from over your shoulder, gasping loudly.
“What the fuck” you both say at the same time
Next
#bts#bts fanfic#min yoongi#yoongi fanfic#yoongi x reader#bts x reader#yoongi x you#yoongi x y/n#eventual smut#brothers best friend
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ELEMENTAL Projections
So apparently ELEMENTAL is on track to flop-a-doo this coming June, huh?
Recent projections made by Box Office Pro have it opening at $28m minimum, $38m maximum. They note that the picture has the chance to have those usual Pixar summer legs and break the 2020s Disney theatrical animation bad streak at the box office, and make it to around $155m domestic, which would be a fantastic total for a post-outbreak original animated movie. COCO, back in early 2018, finished up with around $209m domestically. $200m is usually an easy threshold for Pixar. Only one picture in the 21st century that wasn't a sequel missed it, that was THE GOOD DINOSAUR, which still made over $120m domestically. ONWARD I do not count, because that was cut off one week in by the pandemic.
Box Office Pro has a history of lowballing animated movies on their opening weekends, though. They also had THE SUPER MARIO BROS. MOVIE pegged for a roughly $65-90m opening, when the thing cruised well past $140m+ for the three-day alone... I knew it would top $100m easily, and I'm no box office pro... I've only made predictions for fun for about a decade, many of which concerning animated movies, haha.
They also weirdly note that the picture, being a romantic comedy, will have a hard time appealing to young boys... Okay, are young boys the ones with the money buying tickets? You know, Walt Disney had once said in an interview with the BBC in 1959:
"Well, no, you have to appeal to the adult, or... Well, the adults have money, the children don't have any money."
Interestingly, Walt had kind of cracked it when it came to making movies by that point in time. As he saw it, anyways. He had theorized that appealing to "mom" was the way to go, the target to hit. Because mom takes dad and the kids, the whole family, to check out the movie... And mom tells her friends... So on, so forth... Maybe it's not young boys that Disney should be appealing to. Remember when they tried very hard to appeal to that demographic in the late 2000s? Making major changes in animation because of that? Nearly jettisoning fairy tale stories for good and messing with movie titles for fear of boys finding them to be too girly? (I still dislike "TANGLED" as a title, to be completely honest.) I guess the romances of classic Disney animated movies were a hard sell, huh? Because boys under the age of 13 might not like them?
I'm not trying to knock the good people at BOP, by the way. I frequently enjoy their podcast and analyses, but sometimes I think they can be a little off with animated movie, and because there's a lot of internet dogpiling on this one Pixar picture that no one except the film crew has even *seen* yet... I just wanted to weigh in.
As BOP noted, and many others have noted as well, ELEMENTAL has a big uphill battle to face in the form of the Disney+ problem. We all know what that is... A lot of people, especially those who are tight on money and have to narrow their moviegoing choices every calendar year, might've been conditioned to just wait for these family movies to come to Disney+. No need to spend $100 at the multiplex on tickets, snacks, and of course take a gamble on whether the experience in a theater will be good or not... It's right there, at home, in a few months, and we got all the snacks without having to spend a mortgage on!
I've stated on here many times before that I work at a movie theater, and a major chain movie theater at that. A Cinemark. Been there for almost 8 years, and I feel I get the first-hand idea of what audiences want to see as opposed to very-online "experts" on twitter and elsewhere.
And it seems like people are digging ELEMENTAL. "Ah cool, a water and fire people movie! Looks cute!" Most of my co-workers think it looks like it's worth watching. I've seen some customers walk up to the posters and say "Is this INSIDE OUT 2?" "Hah, looks like Sharkboy and Lava Girl."
A lot of people online are writing ELEMENTAL off as generic-looking, but that might be... In a weird sense, its secret weapon.
Familiarity sometimes works for movies, and sometimes it doesn't. LIGHTYEAR, I'd argue, had trouble having some kind of longevity at the box office because of how much it deviated from what people associate with TOY STORY and the titular character. Of course, if you're me, and you knew full well what that movie was going to be (read: an actual sci-fi space adventure where Buzz is actually a space ranger, not a toy), that wasn't much of an issue. Some just genuinely didn't like the execution of it. It rung more INTERSTELLAR and '70s sci-fi movies than anything, Buzz was a little more serious here, he wasn't his toy counterpart at all nor was he the fun cartoon hero in the 2000s TV series BUZZ LIGHTYEAR OF STAR COMMAND. I get that. I myself quite enjoyed the movie, but I can totally see it how it just wouldn't gel with most audiences.
TURNING RED, I feel, would've done okay at best at the box office, not because of its perceived quality (I loved the movie), but because of - again - most audiences being very careful with their money. I keep thinking it would've made around BAD GUYS/ENCANTO numbers, $90m domestic and around $200m worldwide. Not enough to cover the usual Pixar budget... Which is typically a gargantuan $150m+... I feel they, and Walt Disney Animation Studios for that matter, shouldn't spend so damn much on their movies... It puts an unnecessary strain on them, gives them a sometimes impossible task to achieve. It soooo ain't 2003 anymore, when any CG animated movie you dropped in front of an audience was 99.99% guaranteed to make a blockbuster amount of money...
ELEMENTAL also shares June with... ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE, TRANSFORMERS LIVE-ACTION MOVIE #7, THE FLASH, RUBY GILLMAN *comma* TEENAGE KRAKEN, and INDIANA JONES 5... Wowee... And a good chunk of those movies weren't supposed to open in June 2023 in the first place, they all just ended up landing there. Pixar usually locks mid-June for a movie years in advance, and the movie could be anything, be it ELEMENTAL or TOY STORY 5. It just so happened to be ELEMENTAL... Maybe they should've moved it, just to be safe...
So, opening weekend could make or break it... But the legs will be the most important thing... And we don't know what those will be like... We have to know first and foremost, come opening day... Did audiences like it?
LIGHTYEAR got a not-so-hot A- CinemaScore, and had abysmal legs thereafter... STRANGE WORLD from WDAS was the rare family friendly animated movie release to score less than an A...
It's hard to gauge off of two animated sci-fi action movies, which have a history of... Not making blockbuster totals meant to cover ludicrously high budgets... Just ask TITAN A.E., ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE, and TREASURE PLANET. WALL-E was a sci-fi romance movie with cute robots, and that did very well. Also had that Pixar goodwill that was very strong back then. The name's not a guarantee anymore.
How do I think ELEMENTAL will do?
Animated movies that aren't sequels are usually kind of hard to track, and they seem like they'll do okay-ish at first... Until the week of release, the tracking shoots up... And word-of-mouth kicks in after opening day...
So, $28m for ELEMENTAL could very well be looking like $40m minimum within a week of its release... Opening at Cannes this coming week, if the picture is acclaimed, will look nice too. I don't see why it can't open below $40m, the only thing that could hurt it is just SPIDER-VERSE and LITTLE MERMAID being out, and families having to make tough choices. Adults w/o families will be the ones to get, if they're not as choosy. The romantic comedy angle might just make it a date movie.
Not the first time that happened... That's what Disney took total advantage of during the Disney Renaissance in the early '90s, pushing BEAUTY AND THE BEAST and ALADDIN as date movies for young adults... Oh, and it paid off nicely... A lot of people tend to overlook this, but... It's *adults* who make animated movies huge, too. Not just "kids dragging their parents" to the cinema. If that were the case, every kids' movie would be a FROZEN or MINIONS-sized blockbuster. No! Those movies make so much because a lot of adults like them, too, and there's stuff in them that appeals to adults. A novel concept, I know!
A movie like THE BAD GUYS didn't need to worry about that, being a much lower budget endeavor, ditto DC LEAGUE OF SUPER-PETS. Even Illumination's movies don't have to worry about that, either... But Disney Animation and Pixar? They gotta hook everybody if they want to make back the $150m+ they spend on each and every movie. LIGHTYEAR seemed to turn families away and had a hard time getting adults, STRANGE WORLD seemed to appeal to no one. ENCANTO dealt with Delta and Omicron, RAYA was still a bit too early to be a theatrical release. SOUL, LUCA, TURNING RED, all straight to Disney+ releases.
It's like each new Disney animated movie release is some kind of test... ELEMENTAL is next line, and WISH will follow... And do I think ELEMENTAL can get that adult appeal?
I think so. ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE already has it built in (projections are saying $85m minimum for the opening weekend, which sounds about right, could go even higher), but does anything else coming out in June other than INDIANA JONES have it? I think audiences are largely burnt out on the Autobots, THE FLASH comes on like some big NO WAY HOME-esque event for DC but I sense a real "who cares?" aura around it, plus superhero fatigue seems to have kicked in... That's about it? RUBY GILLMAN seems muted and quiet, it probably doesn't need to make a blockbuster gross... It's very possible ELEMENTAL is the most appealing June release to... Normal people.
Online, it looks like some crap generic Pixar movie... But normal people? Who aren't there for TRANSFORMERS 7 and a DC movie that happens to have Michael Keaton Batman in it? They might be digging it. For what it's worth, when I caught the trailer in theaters before GUARDIANS VOL. 3, I heard some of the adults in the crowd laugh at the funny bits.
It's kind of a wild card, but I have kind of a good feeling about this one. Maybe... Or, come late summer, I'll be eating crow on here. I'm sure Disney Co and Pixar don't want it to fail. Especially since the smarter of the two Bob CEOs came back, the very Bob who wants to focus much more on theatrical releases than sending massive-budget movies quickly to Disney+.
So, rough prediction. Around $40-45m on opening weekend, very solid legs, over 3.5x multiplier, $140m minimum domestically and double that overseas, $400m+ worldwide finish. We shall see...
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.
So the mountain dew thing I posted the other day is um. Hm. I'm going to turn reblogs off on that actually. It's very good I posted it and got to see people's reactions and I think I made some people laugh with how I presented it, don't feel bad if you reblogged it. but uh. yeah. Not only is it unfortunately true, if anything I downplayed it a bit and left out the parts that weren't funny. Which I now realize I don't really want to think about every time I check my notes tab for the next few weeks. I never kept count but I'm pretty sure I spent more than just a few nights in high school curled up in pain in front of the toilet. I lost over 50 pounds in a year from that.
Kind of maybe also some not-so-unintentional self-harm was going on there I think. It fits in a pattern with some other past habits of mine that I don't post much about because, well, I don't want to turn this into a trauma blog. If you really wanna know, I was a high-functioning alcoholic until age 26. Like, rarely sober outside working hours, most of my calories from alcohol level. End-stage. Due to other personal issues ("wait sabi, weren't you in a serious LTR then?" yes and also my mom was in a psych ward, we don't have time to unpack any of that), I quit drinking cold turkey in 2019 and realized looking through old pictures on my phone that I barely remembered most of what happened in college, let alone anything before that. I don't even know if it's technically amnesia, so much as dissociating so severely from my past. I had a "bit" of a major mental collapse in fall 2019 after quitting drinking as my mind slowly remembered how to have emotions, real clutch scheduling that right before a global pandemic.
Thankfully due to doing nothing for two and a half years, I remember most of college now, and I've been able to recover almost 3 full years of high school from basically fragments in the past year alone. My liver doesn't hurt anymore. I'm also physically repulsed by alcohol as a result of the withdrawal. But it's starting to get back far enough to start reminding me of the previous mental breakdown that I had in middle school that made me almost get held back in 8th grade. I... might decide I don't need to know about anything before that for a little while. Not sure I actually have the ability to make that decision though. It will work itself out nonetheless, it will just be less pleasant.
I've actually almost never actually been suicidal or intentionally thought "oh I'm doing this to hurt myself." But I'm not just shitposting about the whole body dysphoria thing, beyond any gender stuff I just also would prefer not to deal with being a body. I hate every photograph of me as soon as I take it, I can only bear to look at any of them once enough time has gone by that I can trick my brain into thinking it's not me. I believe I drank alcohol for the same reason I drank horrifying concoctions in high school and still sometime make too spicy food or eat so many sour patch kids and takis my mouth bleeds. I only hated the stomach cramps in high school because I didn't know why I had them, but when I finally vomited so hard I puked blood and burst blood vessels in my face, it felt good. I enjoy pain, I like the feeling that my body has been hurt when I'm the one directly causing it. I'm punishing it for existing. I know a couple mutuals of mine probably know exactly what I'm talking about based on their own posts. I also know now that I'm doing this, and that I need to stop doing it. I'm not too worried now that I've figured this out.
But also I think for the first time I can remember, I actively want to continue to exist. I know on some level that I need to accept that that will include my body and not just living out my social life on the internet. I... like other people, not just in a flirty way, and I know I'm saying this on Tumblr of all places but I promise if I ever meet any of you I'm one of the weirdest fucking interesting people you'll ever meet because it's what people are telling me all the time. I'm really shy and don't know how to initiate an interaction with a stranger, but if you can get me to say anything at all, I talk endlessly in my (apparently, strange) voice, I hold my body wrong in distracting ways, I abruptly change topics when I'm not supposed to. None of this occurs to me at the time I'm doing it, and I do know how to act correctly in any situation, I'm just wholly incapable of doing so. But somehow this reads as charming and eccentric rather than horribly rude to most people I meet? People tell me I'm the strangest person they've ever met as a complement. I don't really know why.
All the memories I've recovered have contradicted my past beliefs that I've always struggled to make friends. I think I just... didn't notice? But dozens of my peers consistently made the decision to go out of their way to spend time with me almost the whole time I knew them. I don't think that was out of sympathy, I sure wasn't the Special Ed kid. So I think I actually had close friends almost my whole life from age 10 onward, many of them even? all despite the fact that I wasn't really capable of consciously reciprocating a lot of the time, and that I totally forgot in the years since that some of them even existed until later. So I want to do that again somehow, have a bunch of people I know in real life that I'm close friends with. And actually realize it this time. And I hope I'm not deluding myself with what I remember, though I've been able to independently corroborate enough that I don't think so.
Anyway if anyone was curious, that's... most of my whole brain problems deal from the parts of my life I remember. Or as much as I can condense into a post anyway. Much of it was in fact rather happy and I usually present things in a much more positive light. This post was just not about that.
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Resistance - Evol: Chapter 26 - Home II
Author's note: Hello beautiful people! I come late but bearing gifts! Due to time constrictions, and because my chapters keep getting longer and longer, I have decided to only post every two weeks on Tuesday. It's the only way I can actually assure at this point to deliver content in a timely and consistent fashion. I hope you do understand.
I watched as Owen played with the waves, letting them softly kiss his tiny feet only to run away from them, giggling. I believe that before me and Victor, Owen had never seen the ocean. For me, the ocean had always been a big part of my childhood.
You should always greet the ocean before diving in, my mother taught us, her fingertips gently caressing the salty water. It will know you respect it, and it will welcome you and protect you.
And she laughed as she watched us play in the wet sand, the waves kissing us with the same sweetness they were kissing my son, as she took another drag of her usual cigarette. I couldn’t help but smile at that memory as well, moved by the simplicity and sweetness of all the things that mattered back then.
A much different reality now that she was gone. I was still shaking, my body echoing the tremble in my father's voice, telling us about the patient who came to visit my mother in her office with a gun, saying she hadn’t been able to quiet the voices in his head. He did the job himself, afterwards, his dead body joining my mother’s on the bloody floor.
According to the police and some witnesses, the whole situation didn't last more than two minutes. And I bet that for 1 minute and fifty seconds all my mother cared about was to help him. And for the last ten, the ones when she knew it would be her last, I know she thought of us. I wondered what she thought about me. The weight of unfinished business weighed on me.
The truth was, I didn’t know the faintest thing about my own mother. My family didn’t know anything about her either. She had lied to all of us, the woman I trusted with my life, the one I ran to when I needed solid ground, she had lied to me. About who she was. About who I was. To everyone.
But now that she was gone, it hurt not having the time to make amends. It almost felt petty to hold such lies against her. Because one thing I did know about my mother, an undeniable truth that no lie could taint: She loved me. And now that I was a mother, watching my son playing with soft waves as the tide rose, I could feel how she felt about me and my brother. And despite what I said in a moment of anger, there was nothing I wouldn’t do to protect my son.
“Mom, look at this seashell!” My son ran to me, handing me a somewhat large cone shaped seashell. “Isn’t it beautiful?”
“It is.” I smiled, taking it from his tiny hands to admire it. “Do you want to know a secret?”
He nodded, wide eyed.
“Seashells hold stories from where they’ve been.” I pressed the seashell against my son’s ear. “Can you hear the ocean? Like when you’re deep under water?”
“Like when I’m swimming with Dad and I dive real deep.” His mouth hung in astonishment as he paid attention to what he was hearing. “It sounds exactly the same.”
I smiled fondly, remembering how once it was my mother holding a seashell against my ear.
“I wish Dad were here to listen to it too.” Owen pouted slightly, giving me a dirty look. “He would have come and play in the water with me.”
“Well, about that, I need to talk to you.” I patted on the spot on the blanket beside me. “Sit down, Bug.”
My son gave me a puzzled look, but did as told, waiting patiently for me to start.
“If Grandpa asks… maybe we shouldn’t tell him about my and Dad’s experiment.”
“Why not?” Inquisitive brown eyes focused on me. Oh boy.
“Well, because it’s kind of a complicated story, and maybe Grandpa wouldn’t understand and worry. We don’t want to upset him.”
“Why should he worry?” Owen shrugged. “It’s only temporary, you’re not getting a divorce.”
“Exactly.” I felt my heart speed up slightly. “And I don’t want him to think that, so maybe-”
“What if he asks?”
“We say Dad stayed in Loveland because he was very busy with work, as usual.”
“But that’s lying.” Owen frowned, a slight accusatory tone in his voice. “Dad stayed in Loveland because you told him not to come, he wanted to help. Do you want me to lie?”
“You are right, lying is a bad thing.” I admitted. “But sometimes we do bad things because we want the best for the people we love. You can understand that, right?”
He paused, wearing the very same expression his father wore when pondering something.
“Yes, I can.” He nodded.
“Because you are the brightest boy I have ever met.” I kissed his forehead. “And I love you very much. Now, want to race me inside the house?”
The smile he gave me before bolting inside the house almost made me forget about the pain. Almost.
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“Pedro was cremated last night.” My father threw casually as he was making toast. I was by his side cutting fruit for breakfast.
“Who’s Pe…” And then it dawned on me. The man who killed my mother.
“I forgot to tell you, the police called me yesterday saying his body would be released. They scheduled the cremation right away. They didn’t even have a wake.”
“No point in mourning a murderer, I guess.” I answered dryly, my knife hitting the wooden board hard, echoing my frustration. “So they released his body, but not Mom’s? What a joke.”
“It’s an ongoing police investigation, Andy. That’s why it’s taking a bit longer. We need to be a little patient, that’s all.”
“Patient my ass, that sergeant is going to hear from me about this.” I started pacing, too worked up to stay still. “They won’t release my mother’s body, they won’t let us into her office, what for? There is no need for an investigation, we know who did it, that son of the bitch killed himself before we could bring them to justice!”
“He was sick.” My father held my arm lovingly, trying to calm me down. “He was desperate. Your mother would’ve wanted-”
“My mother would’ve wanted to be alive! She would’ve wanted to see her grandkids grow! She would’ve wanted to grow old with you! She would’ve wanted-”
I was interrupted by my father’s arms enveloping me in a bear hug. And at that moment, I was 8 again, and he was my Dad, my fortress, holding me steady. I wrapped my arms around him, waiting for the tears to come, but they simply wouldn’t. My heart refused to hurt him with my hurt.
“She would’ve wanted to apologize.” My father spoke. “She would’ve wanted to call you, and make amends. And she did, Andy. She never told me what happened between you two, and I have a feeling you won’t tell me either, but she loved you and thought of you every single day. And she forgave you.”
I looked up, reading the exhaustion and pain in my father’s eyes while he selflessly gave himself and forgot all about himself, so he could be there for me.
“How can you be so strong?” I pressed my face against his chest, wrapping my arms tighter around him.
“That’s what your mother would’ve wanted.” His voice shook slightly.
We broke the embrace and cleared our throats as we heard Owen enter the room.
“I’m hungry.” Owen mumbled as he rubbed his eyes. “What’s for breakfast?”
“Fruit and toast for my little red haired bug!” My father exclaimed, putting on a bright face. “Although your mother did a number on the bananas.” He showed the cutting board with the bananas I practically smashed in anger.
“It’s ok, I bet they still taste good.” Owen shrugged. “Do you have any honey?”
“Let me pour some for you.” My father poured the honey on my son’s toast, drawing a smiley face, just like he did to me when I was a child. “How’s your father, by the way? When is he coming?”
I froze, staring at my son, silently begging him to keep our secret.
“He’s not coming, he is too busy with work.” Owen shrugged as he bit his toast, making me deflate in relief.
“Between LFG and LCG and all that happened with Kasey, we thought it was simply not wise for Victor to leave town. He regrets not being here, but we still have a lot of issues to solve.”
“Life goes on, as it should.” My father smiled at me. “A man’s duty is to take care of his family.”
“Actually, he really wanted to come, but Mom wouldn’t let him.”
“Owen!”
“What do you mean, your mother wouldn’t let him?” I was about to answer, but my father raised his hand. “Let the boy speak, Andrea.”
Again, I felt like I was eight, caught red handed with the cookie jar.
“Mom and Dad are doing an experiment, because Mom needs to focus at work. She moved to another apartment, and I stay with Mom and Dad on different days.” He gave me an angry look. “But now it doesn’t even make sense, because you are not working! Why didn’t you let him come with us?”
“Is this true?”
“Yes, we have been…” I paused, choosing my words carefully in front of my son. “Living in different places for a while now. I didn’t want to worry you with it.”
My father watched my son as he calmly ate his breakfast.
“We’ll discuss this some other time.” He gave me a stern look, letting me know I wasn’t off the hook just yet. “You said you were going to the police station, see how the investigation is going?”
“Yes, I should go right now, actually.” I grabbed my purse, welcoming the chance to flee. “Do you mind if I take your car?”
“Take your mother’s.” My father walked to the hallway. “Let me get you her keys.”
“I know you told me not to say anything, and I disobeyed.” Owen whispered. “But sometimes we do bad things because we want the best for the people we love.”
Before I could retort, my father entered the kitchen again, handing me a set of keys.
“Will you be ok with him?” I asked, nodding towards Owen. “I can ask Josh to pick him up. Maybe you should get some rest.”
“He’s my grandson, of course I will be ok with him.” He ruffled my son’s curls. “Besides, this little guy and I have a lot to discuss.”
Which didn’t mean anything good for me. Even if Owen didn’t want to talk, my father would find a way to make him spill the beans. A skill he had learned from the very best of inquisitors, my mother.
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“What do you mean the morgue hasn’t released her body yet? It’s been three days already! It was a gunshot wound, you found the weapon, you found the culprit, there’s nothing more to investigate!”
“Lady, I already told your father, this is no longer in our hands.” The sergeant raised his hands apologetically. “Apparently what happened to your mother caused quite a commotion, and other entities were involved.”
“What other entities?”
“I am not at liberty to say.”
“Can I at least go to her office and get some of her personal belongings? She kept some banking information in there.”
“I suspect you won’t even be able to get close.” The sergeant sat down heavily. “The place is taped and heavily guarded. Whatever your mother or that patient were up to, we will find out soon enough.”
I paused, gathering my thoughts. Could this have something to do with her Evol?
“If they suspect my mother was involved in something, why hasn’t my father been contacted yet? Why aren’t they asking her family?”
“Mrs. Lee…” The sergeant gave me a grave look. “I honestly don’t know.”
Whenever my mother had a patient dealing with the grief of a deceased loved one, she would often use the term closure. That’s what they always came for, closure. The end of the chapter, the end of the pain, a brand new beginning. And then she would add, closure is impossible. There is no vacuum left when someone dies, something always stays behind, be it the words that remain unsaid, the projects that weren’t finished, a family that loves them and that will continue on, but always with their absence. In my mother’s case, especially because I knew things about her that no one else knew, closure was surely unattainable. And it felt like I had been left with this heritage, these actions which brought repercussions we were surely to feel, and I knew nothing about. Worse, I didn’t know how to deal with them.
I looked around inside my mother’s car with brand new eyes, to all the things that belonged to her, all the faint traces she had left behind, trying to assess who she really was. But I kept being drawn to the things that tied me to her, like the radio button I broke after a session at the therapist recalling my abuse, or the macaroni necklace I made when I was 4, which she hung on her rearview mirror. If Victor were here, he would know what to do. But I had been adamant in leaving him behind.
“I’ll postpone all my meetings for the next few days and get the jet ready.” He spoke as I packed my bag. “I’ll go home and pack, I’ll meet you here in half an hour so we can take the jet.”
“Victor…” I hesitated. “Look, I’m really thankful for you letting me stay for the night at your apartment and supporting me but…” I looked him in the eyes. “This is something I need to do by myself.”
I could see in his eyes he wanted to argue back, he wanted to insist on coming with me, but he kept silent. After an agonizingly long pause, he finally spoke.
“I understand.” He nodded, looking down. “But at least take the jet. It will make the long trip easier on you and Owen.”
“Thank you.” I smiled. “You don’t need to stay here and keep me company, I know you have better things to do.”
“You’re my number one priority.” He asserted. “Always have been, always will be.”
“Victor…”
“Always.” He declared. He took a step closer, holding my shoulder like he was silently begging me to look him in the eyes. “No, Andrea, you need to listen to me. I will respect the space you’ve requested, but on one condition: If you find yourself in a difficult situation that you can’t resolve on your own, you will call me and ask for help. You don’t need to go through this all alone. I’m here.”
“I know, but-”
“Remember when Mina passed away?” Gray eyes locked with mine, sharing a memory. “You gave me the space to mourn, but you never left my side. I want to pay you in kind. And don’t even dare say things are different because we are separated, because they are not. Whether you’re willing to accept it or not, my feelings bind me to you. This is an unbreakable bond, Andrea. I will always be by your side, even from a distance.”
He answered at the first ring tone.
“What on earth have you been doing?” He scolded me. “It’s been two days since you left!”
“You could have called me if you were worried.” I defended myself. “Are you seriously mad at me over this?”
“I was respecting…” He let out a sigh. “Forget it. How are you? How are things going?”
“I’m fine. Owen is also fine. He’s with my father now, otherwise I would pass him the phone.”
“I can call him later for that.” Victor paused. “Anyway, I’m glad you called. Thank you.”
“Yeah, I…” I bit my lip, planning in my mind what I would say. If I mentioned the word Evol, Victor would jump from his desk into a plane right away.
“Yes?” He urged with a soft voice.
“I could use your help, actually. The police is not being very cooperative in releasing my mother’s body for us to cremate. I don’t know what else to do, maybe the legal team could get some more information on how to proceed.”
“I will meet with them as soon as we hang up. I promise you this matter will be over by the end of your day.”
“Thank you.” I sighed in relief. At least I could do that for her.
“Anything else?”
“No, that’s huge already. Thank you.”
“You already said that. You don’t need to thank me. Just tell me how you are doing.”
“I’m fine. I’m doing fine.”
“You already said that too. Actually, you’ve been saying fine a lot.”
The truth was, even I didn’t know how I was doing. Whatever was there to feel, I was pushing it down, deep inside me. My goal was to help my father and to honor my mother like she deserved. I didn’t matter, and whatever feelings or issues or doubts I had didn’t matter either. I just had to keep going and do my best. So I answered in a way I was sure my husband would understand.
“My mother died.”
“Yes.” He paused. “I’ll call you as soon as I get an answer from the lawyers. Let me know if you need anything else. I lo-”
I pressed the End button before he could say it, my heart running a thousand miles per second. And then it dawned on me, what I really needed. I needed him. The one thing I refused to have, and I didn’t even know why anymore. In light of my mother’s death, none of what had happened had any weight.
I drove through the city, busying myself with errands, planning my mother’s funeral, confident that Victor would keep his word. After an hour, I got a call from an unknown number. It looked like it was from a landline in Lisbon, probably some contact Victor had sent out to help me.
“Estou?” I answered hurriedly, in Portuguese.
“Dr. Lee?” A vaguely familiar voice sounded on the other side of the line. “I hope I’m calling at an opportune time.”
“It’s me, yes.” I frowned. “How can I help you?”
“It is my understanding that your mother passed away recently. I am calling you to present my condolences.”
“And who are you again?”
“My apologies, I forgot to state my name. I am an old acquaintance of Victor’s, we met at your office, right after the release of the first part of your study, do you remember? Lucien Xu.”
I was silent for a moment, astonished by the way he spoke, like he hadn’t thrown some serious threats at me and my family, like he didn’t have a connection to that shady organization, like he was just some old friend, calling to pay his respects. I put him on speaker, my fingers swiping swiftly over the phone, typing Victor a text. He must have sensed my panic, because he spoke in a much softer voice.
“Dr. Lee, I must assure you that I wish you no harm. In fact, considering the present conjecture, you can truly believe I am a friend, not a foe. I’m certain your husband has his reasons to distrust me, but I can guarantee you the reasons that caused us to become opponents no longer exist. We are on the same side.”
I paused, staring at the phone, the unsent message staring at me from the screen.
“Why the change of heart?”
“A paradigm shift. A few years ago some important information came to surface, and what once was simply ceased to be. However, the stakes are much higher now, and at this point of the game, the pawns have either been defeated or put aside. The strongest pieces are at play now, and I’m afraid they won’t be deterred as easily.”
“Is this the part when you say it’s not a threat, it’s a warning?”
“If my determinations are correct, you must be aware by now of your true nature, which means you must be at least somewhat aware of your mother’s actions. However, I also estimate you are probably unaware of your mother’s true motivations.”
My finger hovered over the Send button, pondering my choices. Fight or flight?
“What do you know about my mother?”
“I know her death wasn’t a violent crime committed by a patient. Your little outburst at that island was enough to draw the attention of some very dangerous people. They found her through you.”
I took a deep breath, trying to make my voice sound as calm as possible.
“Alright, Dr. Xu, you caught my attention. And I’m pretty sure you’re not in Lisbon for the pastéis de nata. When do you want to meet?”
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The smart thing to do would be calling Victor right away, telling him that if Lucien Xu was trying to reach me, he could also be in danger. From Lucien’s cryptic words, it was clear that Black Swan was still active, and not neutralized, like Victor thought. If he was in any danger, I should let him know right away, give him time to prepare himself for any potential attack. But my gut and my reasoning seemed to agree on one thing, if BS was out there and involved with that man, their focus was on my mother and me. I didn’t know how or why, but Lucien seemed to know a lot more about my mother than I did, and I wouldn’t let the opportunity to get that information slide. I couldn’t tell Victor, he would have forbade me to come, he would come and get me himself, but he wouldn’t allow me to go.
On the other hand, this could also be a trap, and I was deliberately putting myself in great danger. And if that was the case, I didn’t want Victor to be close either. I would be the only casualty.
I froze by the door of the café, spotting him through the glass panes, sitting in the back of the room. I took a deep breath, trying to slow down my heartbeat. I had no reason to be afraid, he wouldn’t dare hurt me in front of all those people.
“Impressive.” He smiled as he watched me sit down, facing him. “For a moment I didn’t think you would come. But it was obviously foolish of me to expect anything else.”
“You talk like you know me.” I gave him a bitter smile. “You don’t know me at all, Dr. Xu.”
“I know what you are capable of, even if you don’t know it yet, Dr. Lee. I know the extent of your power, what you can do with your Evol. In due time, you’ll see it for yourself.”
I felt like an easy prey, being played with before he delivered the fatal blow. I sat up straight in my chair.
“That still doesn’t answer why you are here, Dr. Xu. You say there was a paradigm shift, you are a different man now. What are your true intentions, then?”
“To honor the dead. Mine and yours. You see, we are bonded by our parents' past. One could even say we are family.”
“Our parents?”
“You must remember them, I’m sure. They were the ones that gave you those injections.”
I remembered the gentle man that held my hand and gave me lollipops. And after a while, I could see the resemblance. They even had the same soft polite voice.
“I do remember my mother telling me they were trying to leave Black Swan, while you do their bidding. I guess the apple did fall far from the tree this time.” I clenched my fists in anger under the table. “Do not try to fabricate a common ground using our families, Dr. Xu. You’re wasting your time trying to feed me such lies. I can’t speak for your parents, but I know my mother didn’t have any connections with Black Swan. If anything, she was trying to save me from them. She was trying to save me from people like you.”
“I have no intention of hiding my ties with Black Swan.” He calmly stirred a sugar cube into his coffee. “It felt like a heritage before, but now it’s only a necessary evil. You see, one must dwell into the dark cave to see just how dark it is. Your husband understands this idea very well. Your mother did too.”
“You know, I came here to find some answers about my mother, but now I realize my mistake. You say you know her, but you don’t, at all.” I stood up. “This was clearly a waste of my time. Do as you must, I’m leaving.”
“I know she dove deep into the cave like no one before her, just to save someone very precious to her. And in order to do that, she had to become one of those you hate so much.”
“My mother was a therapist.” I spat back.
“Your mother was a spy, one of the best Black Swan had ever seen. Her codename was Psyche. If you know what her Evol was, you’ll know how fitting the name was.”
“You’re lying.”
Lucien got up suddenly, his hand taking mine, forcing me to sit back down.
“Your mother risked her life repeatedly and gave it willingly so you could be saved. Don’t waste her sacrifice on the account of your clueless stubbornness.”
“Sacrifice?” I couldn’t help but raise my voice, even if slightly. “It wasn’t her sacrifice. It was of the children she left to die in that God forsaken orphanage. You talk about her like she was some hero, when all she did was cower away and hide, leaving others to their misfortune.”
“She was a hero!” He gritted through his teeth, his kind eyes now looking dangerous. “You have no idea of how many lives were lost because of you, and how it is to carry that weight. You don’t understand how special you are, and how you can potentially affect the destiny of many others, including mine. It’s time you learn your place in history, and live up to the role.”
“The role? What the hell are you talking about?”
Lucien kept silent, straightening his clothes, his dignified stance returning to him little by little.
“Maybe it was a little naive of me to think you’d take my word for it.” He brought the coffee cup to his smiling lips. “But fortunately, you won’t have to. As a true scientist, even if one of the mind, your mother always kept her studies very well documented. But I’m sure none of this is new to you.”
“What about it?” I was starting to lose my patience with this man.
“It is known she has documented everything that happened, every single detail of her past, for an event exactly like this one. Many people are looking for your mother’s journals as we speak. Why do you think it is taking so long for her body to be released and her office available for you to reach?”
My eyes widened. Of course he would know about this. Black Swan was behind it. By asking Victor to help me, I had put him in danger.
“It is time you honor all that was lost because of you.” He got up, dropping a ten euro bill on the table. “Should you fail to do what you were destined to, or try to run away from it, I will have no choice but to hunt you down and kill you.”
“Finally, the threat.” I smiled bitterly at him.
“As you expected, it is not a threat, only a warning.” He gave me a resolved look. “Dr. Lee, don’t take any of my words lightly. I am a friend.”
“A friend who will kill me if I don’t play his game.”
“Dr. Lee, make no mistake.” He bent towards me, his face closer to mine. “If we ever come to that, you’ll be the one begging me to put you out of your misery.”
#mlqc li zeyan#mlqc victor#victor mldd#love and producer fanfic#victor mlqc#growingtogether#mister love queens choice#victor x oc#love and producer#mlqc fanfic#mldd victor#li zeyan
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January.
Summary:
I decided to give this a try because I love writing on my diary (I stopped a while ago but maybe I'll start again, tho I'm not going to post it here ofc.) but... I definitely feel too exposed by doing this so it's not going to happen again. I have no filter.
These weeks have been hectic to put it kindly lol
I've been sick. I made a quick recovery. Went to the hospital like, three times. Will be back to the hospital tomorrow. Another check up and study. I'm so glad it's free because otherwise idk how I would be paying for all those things.
Last week - From January 7th to January 14th
I'm so angry... and embarrassed too because I actually bought a $5 bucks green tea but it tasted like cheap boiled water or smth 😭😂
Most expensive crap ever bought. Emphasis on crap. Yeah that's the most relevant thing 🤣 ahh and...
I'm writing.
Highlights: I'm now on Ko-fi! >< so excited!! Plus, I started selling soaps and I'm definitely starting strong this year.
This week - From January 15th to 21
I'm back to my ballet classes though, and I lost some weight~ *happy dance* and I'm selling my soaps ✨😌✨ I feel like I'm achieving some kind of superpower. I'm definitely becoming the person I want to be.
... ..........
Uh... almost lol
I'm reading the Bible. I swore to never touch that book again once I went out of school (went to catholic schools during a long time) but I'm back and I'm reading it. Literature skills and all that. I was advised several times that I should read it. So I'm back to it. My parents though... 💀 they're looking at me like I grew out two heads or smth... which is funny AF. Understandable though, considering how much I'm against it.
Genesis it's kind of heavy. I have had to put it down several times to not get bored and sleep on it. Probably for the best because I would end up drooling and the Bible is too pretty for that....
I'm not used to take that long reading a book. I went through the Catholic version first because it's the one I have at my disposal but downloaded a couple of apps. One NIV skipped several things through the Genesis. So many things it pissed me off because I thought Genesis was all about people being born and living way too long like if they were vampires or something. Turns out it's because of the version I'm reading. I tried the CBS but it was insufferable. I'm sorry. Finally I went through the KJV and found myself enjoying it so much I could spend the whole day reading it.
That's when I realize I need a physical copy of it. So I'm buying one. Went through Amazon and found a pinkish Bible. I can't wait to receive it and fill it with my studies~ meanwhile I find myself... bewildered because I'm actually enjoying something I thought I would never (?) Watching it as mythological stuff is different. Even my notes are really random and funny. But I don't want to offend anyone beliefs here so I won't be posting them. I am a firm believer in the good messages that the Bible has, just not, into it as religion.
Anyways~ one of my doctors is such a hottie... I feel like I'm in middle of a KDrama around him... even my mom likes him and calls him "handsome" lol
And there's a good reason for that... he's such a sweetheart around me. 🥺 I know he's only doing his job but I can't stop liking him. He's so touchy it makes me nervous but not in a bad way... it's just new... hope he never reads this lol
Highlights: The yellow dress I asked for has arrived. Finally.
Week from 22 to 28
I'm skipping ballet classes this entire week 😭🥺 I'm back with hospital appointments. I probably won't be here long enough and won't have enough energy to write. These appointments make sure my energy is drained. Like, completely.
I'm also on a sprint to create as much soaps as possible 😉 Valentine Day here we go!!!
Highlights: The transporter for my cats has arrived!
/^♡^/ I have spent all week training them to go on walks together. Soon I'm updating with pictures ^^
Week from 29 to 4th February
I was going to take bus routes... part of me refuses to feel like it's a downgrade. I'm feeling like taking buses will enhance the feeling of an MC on a kdrama or a Ghibli character (depending on how I'm dressing up) but instead I downloaded Uber lol because I'm spoiled and I would say lazy but nope! I have time to read or study while I'm in the car. That's why I haven't learned how to ride yet.
I finished with the soaps and I'm selling them at my school. I'm already making some money with this but expecting to make some money with my stories too. Which is why I've been working so hard on this. To go back to write again while the soaps are selling themselves. And before you ever think about me making a promo on my stories, mmmm yeah i'm not sure because I'm too busy. But maaaybe?
Anyways one of my teachers stand me up this week without notice. I got really pissed because I lost money and time because of that. I never felt so bothered by something like that but now I understand what my nom was talking about being punctual and responsible. Guess I'm an adult now since I'm the one paying for the uber *sighs* my mom also got stand up by one of my classmates. And it was raining. A lot. I don't hate rain. It made me feel nostalgic, but my annoyance was huge so I didn't get to enjoy.
Highlights: Nothing really. Ohh~ we're finally buying a treadmill.
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Also, let me just catch up with you rq! I remembered that I completely forgot to congratulate you on your birthday, so happy belated birthday I guess 😭❤️ Uni has been kicking my ass, especially the commute between my home city, the city I study in and the city where I am working on my doctor‘s study/thesis 🥲 Idek if I have ever told you, but last year me and a few other students were sent to the other end of the state to continue our education in another hospital there. All those years before I was living with my parents and just commuted to Uni (which is in the city where I am working on my thesis rn), but that was not possible anymore. Luckily I got an apartment in the student dorms there (which belong to an entirely different uni, but they were kind enough to offer us rooms as well), but it was so fucking bad. Not the apartment itself, mind you, just the rest. My student dorm was basically at the other end of the city, I had no car, and the buses drove 2x per hour and would often not come at all. There is no direct connection between the dorm and the hospital, so you have to take the bus to the inner city and then take another bus there. I had to walk to the hospital more times than I can count, and that‘s a 5km walk, so you can imagine how I arrived to my lectures. I had courses and training the entire day, and would often arrive at like 7pm in the evening, completely exhausted. Add onto that that it was winter (🫠), so the days were short, cold, and the weather was unpredictable, and I had to cook and keep up the apartment + the commute to my home and thesis city. The people there were SO unkind, some didn’t even greet me and would not even wait a few seconds to keep the door open for me, even though they could see I was carrying a big pack of water bottles. I was blogging from the trenches back then 😭 I applied for the other student dorm in the inner city, right next to the bus stop for the bus to the hospital, since all my friends live there, and to combat the loneliness I had experienced during the winter. They approved, and I moved in at the end of March/beginning of April. It’s sooo much better here, the people are kind (we even have a chat group on WhatsApp), the apartment is smaller and has an objectively better atmosphere, and I save so much time now. I also managed to get closer to my friends and actually go out with them/ invite them over for coffee.
On a more positive note, my friend and I managed to get tickets for Hozier in December 🎉 I told my BFF, because we discovered Hozier back in school together and have always promised each other that one day we will go to one of his concerts together, and she and her roommate (who also went to school with us) managed to get tickets as well, sooo we’re making the whole thing into a vacation 🫶🏻 (for clarification: My BFF lives in the same state as I do, just in a different city and often has to commute to Berlin for her studies/work since the program she’s enrolled in is a so-called ‘Duales Studium’, a concept that is, I think, exclusive to Germany. We rarely get to see each other, but we text almost every day.)
I currently just want to finish the exam season so I can have my two weeks of peace in Bosnia in August 🤘🏻
I think those were all the big updates on my life 😄 I should make more of my own posts so I can keep people updated in real time, just like you do 😵💫 I am so sorry for the way your bf’s mom treated you, that was so disrespectful and uncalled for. I also feel sorry for your bf for having to apologize for her actions. People who have no filter and no shame are the absolute worst 🫠. I hope her words didn’t hurt you too much, and that I am proud of you for getting to a weight where you are happy and content with yourself ❤️
omg anesa <333 ty for the belated hbd but im sorry schools been kicking u around that commute sounds so bad oml especially w rude ppl to deal with on top of it. its really good tho u were able to transfer somewhere way better and reconnect with ur friends! & OMG U GOT HOZIER TICKETS?? a lil concert vacation sounds so fun i hope u guys have an awesome time!!! ^_^
ahskahdsk my bfs mom is absolutely certifiable so it doesn't bother me too bad (and tysm for being proud too of my happy weight! being in recovery has been the best choice i ever made for myself) i felt so bad for my bf & his dad too it was like damn spending basically ur whole lives dealing with someone else's crazy behavior & constantly apologizing for it just sucks so much. But that's probably why he became a therapist lmao
#𓏲 ࣪₊ 💭 \ inbox#seeing hozier in december sound SO magical like his music is one of my go tos in winter months#i know u huys are gonna have the best time & u def deserve it after dealing w all that bs with ur university
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Love knows not its depth (until the hour of separation)
pairing: Kuroo x f! reader
genre: angst / fluff, post timeskip!
warnings: a tiny smudge of suggestive content
wc: 4.9k
m.list ~ taglist. ~
a/n: this is my rendition of a grown up Kuroo. life has been a little hectic for me recently, so i’m only getting around to posting it now. pls be kind and i hope y’all love it <3
“I need a break.”
Kuroo continues to snore. You are unsurprised he doesn’t hear you. After all, he came home glassy eyed, smelling strongly of alcohol after yet another night of drinks with his boss before quickly falling asleep in bed. It’s what he does most weekday nights, leaving you alone at home to manage your two daughters and tuck them into bed.
“I’m tired, Tetsuro.”
You are too tired to even tell him how you feel. You have a career of your own, two daughters to raise, a never ending list of chores and errands that must be done. You are a mother, a wife, a career woman. You have so many roles to play yet there is no space for you.
You must do something, anything or risk your heart imploding in your very chest.
You cannot survive that.
The next morning, you call your boss, ask for a day off. Then you pack your girls off to your mother’s place with two little suitcases with toys and clothes enough for a long weekend before you take the train to Hakone, check yourself into the ryokan with a view of Mt. Fuji that you spent your honeymoon at - except this time, you’re alone (but then again, you’ve been lonely for so long, you hardly notice the difference anymore).
You dip yourself into the hot waters of the onsens, watch bamboo sway in the breeze. It’s been at least a year since you’ve been even able to take a bath uninterrupted. There’s always something - Aiko needing help with her homework, Fumiko whining for another piece of mochi, your boss calling to chase for yet another report, so all you’ve ever had time for is a hurried shower before placating your daughters or seating yourself in front of your laptop to deal with your boss.
Finally, you’ve stolen a day to yourself. It’s absolute bliss.
The water is kind to you. Its heat soothes your aching muscles, the rising steam steadies your breath. You walk out of the baths feeling refreshed, renewed, but when you enter your room you find Kuroo Tetsuro waiting for you.
“I’ve been calling your phone all afternoon”, he says, face pinched. “I was worried.”
“Were you?” you say before you can stop yourself. “Really?”
“Of course”, he says, uncrossing his legs to stand. “You’re my wife and the mother of my children, of course I care.”
Wife. Mother. Employee.
The roles that life has handed you haunts you again. There is no escape for you.
Your skin suddenly feels as if it’s stretched too tight over your frame. Your bones rattle, brittle. They threaten to break if you take another breath. Yet you laugh and laugh and laugh, the sound spilling from your lips filling the room, suffocating the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears.
“If you really cared, you would have noticed that your wife is broken”, you tell him between bouts of laughter. “I tried fixing myself with a break but you can’t even give me that.”
Kuroo stares at you, equal parts horrified and confused. He takes a hesitant step forward towards you before thinking the better of it, swerving over to the kettle instead, clutching it as if it holds the cure to your madness.
“Calm down”, he says, “take a seat”, and you do. He offers you a cup of tea. You accept it, even though you’re still shaking from the aftershock of your laughter. “Drink”, he says, and you bring the cup to your lips, though you wonder absently why you taste salt in the bitter tea.
“Tell me what’s wrong”, he begs. “Tell me what I can do to fix you.”
You want to tell him that you’re not strong enough to do what’s expected of you. You want to tell him that you’re drowning from the weight of being his wife, the mother of his kids, from being a working woman that he can be proud of. You want to tell him that you understand his career is important, but so is yours, and you can’t carry the weight of the world alone.
But that would take too many words, and you are far, far too tired for that.
So you say blankly - “I can’t do this anymore, Tetsuro.”
His face falls.
You should remember that Kuroo Tetsuro, first and foremost, is a child scarred by his parents’ divorce. You should remember that you made promises that you and he would never put your daughters through that. But you’ve floated beyond hysteria into a grey indifference, your mind too broken, too tired, too numb to consider him when you can barely even hold on to yourself.
You don’t even notice the hot tears soaking through your yukata. You are deaf to his pleas to give him another chance. There is nothing left in you to give because you’ve poured all you’ve had into him, into your family, into your job. You are so, so empty, and you just sit and sip your tea and wonder idly if the warmth from the liquid you’re ingesting will make you feel a little more alive, or if it’s possible to ease the dull ache in your heart.
It is only when you wake up the next day and the sun is high in the sky that you register that he rolled out your futon for you, tucked you into bed, and kissed your forehead as a goodnight and goodbye. But all of this is washed away by the relief you feel when you read the note he’s left behind telling you that he’s returned to Tokyo, and to enjoy your break.
So you do.
You relish every bite of the meals you have at the ryokan. It’s nice not having to cook or scarf down your food at your office desk for once. You fill your time flitting between the onsens and curling up in your room with a book, taking frequent cat naps until tomorrow comes around again and it’s time to check out and head home.
There’s a brief moment of surprise when the reception informs you politely that your husband already paid your bill - but you suppose that’s just Tetsuro being efficient at racking up credit card points. The bullet train takes you back to Tokyo, and a couple stops on the subway takes you home.
“Okaeri”, you call softly out of habit, not expecting anyone to respond, but Kuroo responds with an even softer ‘Tadaima’, striding over to take your bags from you and usher you into the apartment. There are pink roses sitting in a vase, but you pay it no mind.
“The girls?” you ask, already headed in the direction of their room.
“I picked them up from your mom”, Kuroo responds. “Don’t wake them up, I just put them to bed”.
A peek into their room and it settles your mind to see that your girls are safe and sound asleep.
“Thanks,” you say, back in the kitchen, checking the fridge for what you can whip up for breakfast for you and the girls tomorrow. “By the way, I’ll pay you back for the hotel room from my own money, don’t worry.”
“It’s fine”, Kuroo answers, scratching his head. His hair seems a little more rumpled than usual. “I’ll cover it. I should’ve realised you needed a break.”
“You sure? You don’t have to pay for me, I’ve got money of my own.”
“No, let me pay for it, please. It’s the least I can do.”
You shrug. “Okay”, you say gracelessly. “Thank you.”
He continues to watch you over the kitchen counter as you lay out bread, eggs, ham, cheese. It’ll do for a quick breakfast for the girls tomorrow, never mind the guilt eating away at you that you really should do better than feeding them processed food all the time. You’re so preoccupied with planning the morning rush, the best way to clear the stack of reports that must have piled up on your desk at work by now that you miss Kuroo rounding the counter to stare down at you worriedly.
“You haven’t had dinner?”
“Oh no, I had a bento on the train on the way back.” It’s second nature to you to brush away anyone’s concern. “It’s for the girls’ breakfast.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take them to childcare before work tomorrow. Sleep in and take a break.”
“Really?” You stare back at him, confused. He doesn't even take charge of the girls in the mornings when you’re sick, your mother always has to fill in your place. He only ever turns up on the first day of school each year.
“Yes, of course. In fact, I’ve rearranged my work schedule so I can take them to school all of this week at least.”
“Oh”, you say, brows furrowed in confusion. “Okay, I guess. Wake me up if you need my help.”
“I won’t”, he replies, with a cocky smirk that seems almost false. “Goodnight, love.”
You don’t think of Kuroo’s strange behaviour overmuch, falling asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.
Kuroo continues to act strangely all of next week.
As promised, he takes charge of getting the girls out of bed and ready for school. But you’re taken aback when he starts coming home for dinner, completely floored when he hands you a whole armful of bath salts and orders you to take a relaxing, hot bath while he wrangles both the girls and the washing machine into submission.
He even calls your mother to ask her to babysit on a Saturday evening so he can take you out for dinner at a fancy restaurant that serves foam instead of food. You manage to stumble through conversation with him - a commendable effort, since it’s been so long since you’ve even held a proper conversation with him besides snatches of discussion about the girls.
At least until he states during dessert - “we can make it work if you want to quit your job and stay home full time with the children.”
The mousse on your spoon melts by the time you put it down on your plate.
“Did the guys at work tell you it’s easier to have a housewife instead of a working wife? Are you saying this because you don’t think I’m a good enough mother to our girls? Is that what this is about?”
Kuroo shakes his head frantically, reaches across the table for your hand, but you yank it away with a glare. The extra rest you’ve gotten this week has injected a little more fight in you.
“I try my best to be a good wife and mother, but I’m sorry I can’t be perfect and be there for you and the girls 24/7.” You press down on the sliver of cake with a vengeance. Clink! goes the flat of your spoon against the porcelain plate. “I’m sorry for being selfish, but I don’t want to be reliant on you.”
You regret your harsh words when Kuroo slumps back into his chair, murmuring “I just wanted you to be happy. Forget I ever said that.”
He pays the bill and you walk home in silence. He bids you goodnight with a crumpled smile.
It finally clicks when you are startled awake by Kuroo’s shout of alarm.
You roll over, grabbing his shoulder to shake him awake from the nightmare that has him in its grip. His eyes jolt open, and the sight of your face makes him sink back into the pillow with a sigh of relief.
“Thank the gods you haven’t left.”
“Why would I leave? This is my home, isn’t it?” You mumble, turning your back to him again.
You feel the bed shift as Kuroo sits up.
“No”, he rasps, voice rough with sleep. “I was afraid you left me”.
Oh. So that’s what all of this is about.
You must stay quiet for far too long, because he gingerly crawls over to you.
“Dearest”, he says, your heart suddenly aching because you don’t remember the last time you heard him use that pet name with any amount of affection. “Darling”, he tries again, pawing at your back. You shut your eyes resolutely and refuse to turn to face him.
He doesn’t give up, even though the distance between you seems to yawn wide and wider with each passing second.
“Are you?” he asks, his words small, shrunken in the still, dark room. “Going to leave me, I mean.”
No, you’re about to say, the word balancing at the tip of your tongue but it feels wrong. Your break has given you the space to breathe, the time to think. It’s made you realise what you’ve said to him in the ryokan that night remains true.
This week has shown you that Kuroo can do better as a husband, as a father if he wants to. But he’s poisoned your marriage with neglect, forced you to dress up your sadness in silence, allowed your resentment to fester and simmer into frigid indifference. If you reassure him that you aren’t going to leave him, it’s only because you’re too tired to, not because you actually love him anymore.
“I don’t know, Tetsuro. Our daughters deserve to grow up with both their parents, but I’m not sure I want them to learn from my example that it’s okay to shoulder the weight of marriage, parenthood and a full time job all by themselves. Your dreams and career are important, I know, but I’m just so tired of being alone in this marriage when it was always supposed to be a partnership between me and you.”
You hear him choke back a sob. You should comfort him, but the exhaustion you feel at being honest with him, with yourself, weighs your bones down, forces you to sink further down into your mattress.
“I’m sorry”, he finally says.
“I’m tired, Tetsuro”, you whisper brokenly, clutching the blankets to your chin. “I think I deserve better.”
“I know. I’ll make it better, I promise.”
You want to ask him how, but your eyelids grow heavy, and you allow yourself to submerge into slumber.
You’re not sure what to expect, but the ground beneath your feet shifts. Things start to change.
Kuroo continues to take your daughters to childcare in the morning on the way to work as he did last week. That very weekend, he straps Fumiko to his chest, takes Aiko by her hand, and within an hour at the department store aided by a flash of his credit card, he purchases a dishwasher and robot vacuum for the house. He loads the dishes without you asking, runs the robot vacuum remotely once a day. It buys you time to breathe, a little more time to sleep.
He doesn’t always make it home in time for dinner, but he tries his best to rush home so he can read the girls a bedtime story and tuck them into bed.
“Dada”, Fumiko lisps, chubby fists wound around Kuroo’s tie. ‘I wanna hear another princess story!”
“No Fumiko! Papa promised to tell us how he met mama!” Aiko prods Kuroo’s side with the wooden doll Yaku sent from Russia that you know he abhors. ‘Keep your promises, papa!”
“Alright, settle down you monsters. I’ll tell you two stories if you promise to go to sleep right after that.” The girls cheer. “Now. Let’s see. A long, long time ago, your papa met your mama when she decided to beat him up because she thought he was trying to steal her food.”
“You were trying to steal my food”, you interrupt, leaning against the doorway amused. “You didn’t stop til I stabbed you with my fork.”
He glances up, surprised when you sit beside him on the bed. Then he grins.
“You left it on the table, dearest. What was a guy supposed to think?”
“Mama, please let dada tell the story”, Aiko interjects with a huff.
“Hurry up, dada! I want the princess story next!” Fumiko pulls at her silly dada’s shirt, pouting.
You both laugh. There’s a soft smile playing on his lips when his eyes meet yours.
Travelling all around Japan is still part of his job as a marketing director of the Japanese Volleyball Association. But now Kuroo pares it down to the bare minimum, makes sure he’s always back by the weekend at the very least to sweep the girls in his arms and shoo you off for a break of afternoon tea with your friends or shopping with your mom.
“Will you be ok when I’m gone?”
You hand him his suitcase, a flask of his favourite tea. “I’ve always managed fine. Nothing’s changed.”
He bends down to kiss Aiko on her forehead, pinch Fumiko’s cheek playfully.
“Yes. Well. I’ll come home soon”, he says, quietly. You startle slightly as he brushes his thumb over your wrist, lets it drift over your pulse point. “Please wait for me.”
You glance up at him from beneath your lashes. “I’ll see you soon then”, you reply. His smile widens, his eyes are hopeful, bright.
On the weekends, he stops flitting off for work functions and events. Instead, now he joins you for lunches at the kaiten zushi near your house, indulging the girls by ordering yet another plate of sushi just so Aiko has another chance to win a toy from the gachapon and Fumiko has another chance at feeling grown up when she lifts the plate from the conveyor belt. He stops ducking out from dinners at the grandparents’ place - both his and yours. Your mom stops giving him dirty looks when he actually turns up more than three times in a row with sake in hand.
Once every so often, he even throws little parties for your family of four, going so far as to buy a frilly pink apron that makes your daughters giggle when he whips it out for the first time. After a few mishaps (and a number of frantic calls to Fukunaga), he masters how to make takoyaki and okonomiyaki, and in the colder months, he makes steaming pots of nabe and shabu shabu.
“Itadakimasu” you murmur, and the girls follow suit. “It tastes good”, you say.
He ducks his head bashfully, pink dusting the column of his neck.
“Thank you”, he replies. “That means a lot, coming from you.”
You start to savour the bubbles of happiness in your chest when you see how your daughters’ eyes shine when they see their papa whip out the pink apron. You learn to laugh when you hear the pitter patter of little feet, their delighted squeals and shrieks when they tell you the latest exploits their silly papa is cooking up - sparklers under the stars one weekend, a nerf gun fight, the next.
The weight on your shoulders grows lighter and lighter until one day you hardly notice it at all.
“What’s wrong?” you frown at the sight of your husband dashing out of your bedroom, hair a frazzled mess.
He whips around at the sound of your voice. “Oh. Oh.” He approaches you, slowly, carefully. “You’re still here.”
Your frown deepens. “My boss called and asked me to send out an urgent email. I was just about to go back to bed. Tetsuro, is everything alright?”
He nods. “It’s fine - I just... I just woke up and thought you were gone.”
You take a closer look. It’s dark, but the shadows of the night fail to hide the purple smudges beneath his eyes, the fine lines carved into his brow. His shoulders are bowed, his lips downturned and he looks broken, battered.
Your heart hurts for him.
“I’m here”, you say, beckoning him towards you. Physical affection has been scarce between you two for so, so long but he looks so distraught it’s only natural to pull him close, let him rest his head on your lap. “I’m here, Tetsuro. I’m not about to run off into the night – you know I don’t like the cold.”
He doesn’t laugh at your feeble joke. “Are you happier now? Are things better for you?”
“Yes”, you say firmly, combing your fingers through his hair, rubbing circles along his back. “Thank you, Tetsuro. I appreciate it. I really do.”
You can feel him sag in relief.
“You don’t have to work yourself to the bone for me. That’s – that’s never what I was asking for. If you’re tired, you need to take a break.”
He shakes his head stubbornly. “I’m fine. I can bear it as long as you don’t leave me.”
“Tetsuro –“
He sits up abruptly, takes your hands in his.
“Promise you won’t leave me”, he begs, head bowed. “I know I’ve been a shit husband to you for so long. It’s no excuse, but I thought - ” he swallows heavily, waits until his voice stops wavering. “I thought we were ok, ‘cos we didn’t fight, not like my parents did before – before my mother left.”
“I was too tired to fight with you”, you say simply.
He nods once, jerkily. “I know – I know that now. When you disappeared that day, I didn’t know what to do. I went to your mom’s place and she reamed me out, screamed at me in front of the neighbours. I took the kids back, and it made me realise how fucking hard it was for you to do it all alone.” He inhales, closing his eyes as if the memory aches. “I know it’s late but I’ve changed, I swear. The girls need you. I need you. I’ll do anything as long as you stay.”
His fingers are freezing, but you do not pull away. Not when the desperation reflected in his irises makes your heart lurch in pain.
“It was hard”, you confess, and he shudders, struck in the chest by your honesty. “It was so hard, Tetsuro. You hurt me so damn much that I think I became numb to the pain. I don’t think I was really functioning for a while. For a long while.”
“I’m sorry”, he whispers, and you nod shakily.
“I know”, you reply, reaching out a hand to cup his face, a bittersweet twist to your lips as he melts into your touch. “That’s a chapter of my life, of our marriage that can’t be re-written. We can’t rewind that. But the past few months have been so different. I – you’ve shown me you’ve changed. And I think –“
You fall silent.
He prompts you. “Dearest?”
You recall the glimmer of light in your daughters’ eyes every morning when he takes their hands to walks them to school. You hear the echoes of their laughter, the lilt in their sweet voices every night when they welcome him home. You think of the tea parties he throws, the blanket forts he builds, the frilly pink apron he wears without shame and the bedtime stories he weaves every night.
“I think”, you say, with a smile that reminds him of the rising sun. “I think we can make this work again.”
He stares at you until the weight of your words dawns upon him, and he surges forward to fold you into his arms.
“Thank you”, he whispers into the shell of your ear. “I won’t fuck this up again, I promise.”
“Don’t thank me, you silly man”, you nuzzle into his neck sleepily, draping your arms around his waist. “Thank yourself for making me believe in you.”
He laughs wetly, cradling you close as you fall asleep against his chest, soothed by his heartbeat and the tenderness in his gaze.
Fumiko wakes you up unceremoniously before the sun even rises by climbing into your lap, and you open your eyes to Aiko pouting, hands on hips, demanding to know what’s for breakfast, and dada, dada, make a ham sandwich, pretty please with a cherry on the top.
“You guys are little monsters”, Kuroo teases with dancing eyes. “Can’t even give your papa a break to snuggle up to your mama.”
The girls shriek in dismay. “Don’t be mean”, you admonish him gently.
He mock sniffs. “I’m cranky in the mornings unless I get a morning kiss.”
Aiko and Fumiko crowd the sofa, clamouring to give their papa a kiss, but he stalls them with an imperious wave of his hand.
“This morning, only a kiss from your mama can chase my crankiness away”. His tone is teasing, but his shoulders remain tense.
“Nonsense. You make it sound as if kisses contain caffeine”, you scold, swatting his arm lightly as the girls giggle.
“Yours do!” he protests, and you roll your eyes as you press your lips to the corner of his lips, laughing when he puffs out his chest and declares his day can now start, that everything’ll be as right as rain.
Some days are full of sunshine, whilst others are full of rain. That’s life – but it’s bearable, enjoyable even, now that you and Kuroo face each day together, thanking the sun when it shines, and splashing through puddles on rainy days.
Things recalibrate.
The mornings are his domain now – he’s a master at concocting the most random breakfast items to satisfy your finnicky daughters. Aiko sniffs when she informs you that she’d prefer her papa to braid her hair, thank you very much, and when you shoot a look of death at Kuroo, he can’t even keep his face straight, his trademark hyena laugh erupting from his chest.
You cook dinner in the evenings, appreciating the times when he can join you at the table, not counting the nights he can’t against him because you know he’s trying his best. The girls clamour for his stories every night, laughing when he teasingly scolds them for yanking on his tie, demanding goodnight kisses from both him and you.
Now you force Kuroo to take some time to himself, shoo him off for lunches with Kenma, get-togethers with his Nekoma schoolmates. “I know you can manage it”, you tell him archly, “but you need breaks so you don’t burn out, or worse – you’ll lose your hair and we don’t want that”. When he opens and closes his mouth without a smart retort, you smirk. You get your way.
Both of you organise parties and playdates, inviting your shared friends – Kenma, of course, is a frequent guest, Bokuto, who brings along Akaashi and his sweet tempered little son (who Aiko always manages to pick a fight with, much to Kuroo’s amusement). You host Kai, who always brings offerings of flowers from his garden, Yaku, when he’s in town with his daughter, son and alarmingly fat cat. The adults congregate in the kitchen with food and alcohol, cracking good natured jokes at Kuroo and his frilly pink apron, watching the children cause a ruckus in the living room.
But you cherish the quiet moments you share with Kuroo at night when the children are asleep in bed. The chats you have whilst soaking in a hot bath about your day at work, the snippets of stories he shares about his boss, his crazy colleagues, the warmth of his arm around you as you stay up to clear emails late into the night, the heated kisses he presses to the nape of your neck to distract you when he thinks you’re working too hard.
It’s a good life. You’re happy, and so is he.
A year slips by.
The seasons come full circle. You return to the ryokan, finding peace in soaking yourself in steaming pools, watching the bamboo sway, the sun rise over Mt. Fuji. But this time, you’re not alone. You persuade Kuroo that he, too, needs a break - deserves one, truly. So you leave the girls with your mother and take the bullet train down to Hakone.
He shoots you a smirk as you both emerge from the private bath he’d insisted on booking. You swat at him, pulling your yukata higher up your neck, scowling as he winds an arm around your waist to press you into his side.
“You couldn’t wait til we got back to our room?” you hiss at him.
He chuckles lowly in response. “Didn’t hear you complaining”, he retorts.
“We were in an onsen, Tetsuro!”
“A private one”, he says with a waggle of his eyebrows, laughing aloud when you try and fail to slap your hand over his mouth. “What d’you think I was going to do with my lovely wife? I’m not a monk, sweetheart”
You try your best to shush him, but his cackling manages to capture the attention of everyone in the lift.
“What a happy couple”, an old lady remarks, within your earshot. “They must be newly married”
You think she must be a little senile. Or a little blind.
Neither of you are in your first flush of youth anymore - there are streaks of grey in Tetsuro’s mop of hair, extra weight in your hips and lines in your faces. No one could conceivably mistake you for a pair of newlyweds.
“Nah”, Kuroo drawls easily into your ear. “Just your regular old, married couple.”
You don’t speak until you’re safely in your room.
“A regular, old, happily married couple”, you say, as he hands you a cup of tea. “That obaa-san got that part right at least.”
Kuroo chokes on the lump of emotion in his throat as you serenely sip your tea.
The tea tastes bitter (as it always does), but the kisses that follow are so very, very sweet.
#haikyuu angst#kuroo testuro#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo tetsuro x you#kuroo tetsuro x y/n#kuroo x you#kuroo x reader#kuroo x y/n#haikyuu x reader#hq x reader#haikyuu romance#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x reader angst#Haikyuucafe#haikyuucreations#love knows not its depth
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Your Favorite — Part 1
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader
Summary: When Y/N comes home from college for the summer to meet her mom's new boyfriend, she finds herself in a rather tough spot when she can’t stop thinking about him— And it seems he feels the same...
Category: SMUT (18+)
Content: Adults w/ age gap, masturbation (female and male), minor exhibitionism kink, oral sex (male receiving), penetrative sex, breeding kink (kinda? i think? 😅)
Word Count: 7.3k (do you see now why I had to make it a miniseries? alsdjfdk)
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | MASTERLIST
DISCLAIMER: In this story, Spencer is dating Y/N’s mom while also having a sexual relationship with the reader herself. Because of that, there are obvious undertones of cheating, alongside some perv-y tendencies when it comes to a partner’s daughter. That being said, Spencer and Y/N’s relationship is consensual. However— If any of what I just forewarned is something that you think will make you uncomfortable while reading, please do not read! If there are any more disclaimers you think I may have missed, don’t hesitate to tell me! There is another post I made HERE with some disclaimers as well if you want to know more about what this story will entail.
NOTE: This intro is already too long, so I’ll just get this out of the way: you can find visual nsfw inspirations for this story over at @mercy-midnight, I’m working on a playlist for this story on my Spotify @/mercyburning, and I don’t know when part 2 and 3 will be out, but you can assume they’ll be here within the next few weeks.
———
JUNE 5th
I hate my mom's new boyfriend.
For the past three months she'd been telling me about this new guy who's "The One" as if "The One" hasn't been like four other guys in the past two years.
And as much as I'd love for my mom to find someone to spend the rest of her life with, I don't believe she'd ever find Mr. Perfect at this rate. Unless she spent more than a few months with them at a time before dragging me home from college for a weekend to meet them, I really don't see it happening.
It just sucks. Because every time she does this, every time I return home, I see the glimmering hope in her eyes and the diminishing spark in his, and I know. I know it won't last, and her heart will be utterly broken within the span of a few months.
I always thought maybe she just had terrible taste in men.
But this time around, when I begrudgingly walk through the door of my childhood home for the summer and see my mother clinging to a man who returns that glimmer in her eyes, I know she's picked a good one.
And I hate him.
His name is Spencer Reid, and he's a retired FBI agent who teaches full time at local colleges now.
He greets me with a bona fide, radiant smile, unlike all the others before, and it sets my insides on fire. And when we sit down for dinner, he's polite (but not in a fake way,) and he seems genuinely curious about my studies and my personality and my relationship with my mother. And when dinner is finished he offers to clean up while Mom and I settle in the living room.
I see the way he looks at me as I leave, a gentle, closed-mouth smile and eyes that linger a little too long on my exposed legs before averting, a glint of shame pooling within them, and it only spreads that fire in my belly.
Maybe I'd been imagining the whole thing, because deep down I wanted him to look at me the way he had... But it's hard to tell when my brain is mostly setting off sirens, blaring "THIS IS WRONG! THIS IS WRONG!" on a loop with blinding lights.
And they're even louder when my mom wraps her arm around me and lays her head atop mine. "Well, what do you think? He's great, huh?"
She's so lovesick, it hurts. It hurts even worse knowing that all I can think about is his big hands wrapped around my throat while he fucks me into the squeaky twin-sized mattress in my bedroom upstairs.
But I can't tell her that, obviously.
And so I decidedly hate him. And I have no choice but lie to her face, embracing her joy and hoping that I'll be able to survive this summer.
"Yeah, Mom. He's really great."
JUNE 19th
It's been two weeks and I can barely stand to be in the same house anymore.
I try to keep myself busy by going outside, to the beach or for long walks in the park; but it's too hot for my liking, and our town is so small that unless I want to spend my time in the grocery store or one of the three bars on Main Street...
I'm stuck either outside where it's hot and uncomfortable, or in the house where it's also hot and uncomfortable.
We have air conditioning, of course, but that's not the problem.
It's Spencer.
I thought by now my little crush on him would have gone, but the longer he hangs around the house, the stronger my feelings for him grow. They're not romantic—nor do I think they ever could be given the fact that if anything serious really were to ever happen between us, my mom would disown me for the rest of my life and murder Spencer with her bare hands—but that doesn't make it any easier on me.
Every day he just exists, right in front of me with that tug-able mop of hair, those warm honey eyes, and his hands that never stop moving. I swear, it's like every time he breathes, his hands are breathing too, challenging me to try and stop them.
But I refuse to touch him. Because I know the moment I do, all will be lost. I won't be able to control myself anymore. And if I don't drop to my knees and try sucking his dick at the dinner table, I'm sure I'll blurt out how I can't handle it anymore and that I need him, and either way I'd be royally fucked.
Right now he's in the dining room, teaching my mom how to do a disappearing card trick. She thinks it's utterly charming that he can do it at all, but mostly that he's patient and willing enough to teach her. And normally I'd agree, but I can barely look at them without wanting to waltz over, grab his wrist, and suck his fingers into my mouth.
It's truly pathetic.
So I try to focus on the television just a few feet away. It's one of those rare instances where I wish our house was bigger, because while I don't mind having less wall-space between rooms, I do mind not being able to watch TV without the kitchen table in my periphery at a time like this. And I think about going up to my bedroom instead for a moment, but I'd have to go past the kitchen, and I just know Mom is going to ask if I'd want Spencer to teach me his magic trick.
And I most definitely do not want that.
In another life, maybe, where he isn't a hot professor and rather an average-looking dude who's way too into fantasy football... But not in this lifetime.
So there I sit, concentrating so hard on Family Feud that my face hurts.
When I hear a flutter of cards and joyous giggling from the other room, it's more than my face that hurts.
It's also my chest, churning and tensing at the hands of the green devil.
Fuck!
I barely even know this man... I haven't really talked to him because I'm afraid that if I try to hold a conversation I'll snap. He's literally just some hot older guy who's dating my mom, and still, my whole body twists and aches with envy when they do anything together, and it fucking sucks. Not only because of the jealousy, but it's also the fact that my mom deserves to be happy.
This time it's different. This time, she's really found someone who returns her every loving gaze, who makes her laugh, who's kind and genuine and not a total douche. She's happier than I've seen her in years.
And the one time she finally finds "The One", every waking second of my life is spent longing for him fuck me.
But it's only been two weeks.
And it's also been nearly two years since I got laid, so maybe that's just my issue...
I figure it can't hurt, so in a spur of the moment decision, I turn the TV off and sprint towards the stairs, right past Mom and Spencer before they can ask questions.
———
I hardly even register the dimness of the light inside the house by the time I glide up the steps, fumbling with the key and trying to make my entrance as quiet as possible. Though, because I'm so used to the dark by this point, the light—no matter how dim—nearly blinds me. The door shuts louder than I'd have liked, and I cringe inwardly, pausing as if that will keep anyone from seeing or hearing me. Not like it'll matter, considering Mom and Spencer are the only ones that are staying here and they'd also been the only ones aware of my plans for the evening.
Well, somewhat, anyway. I told them an old friend invited me out and I probably wouldn't be home until late.
Regardless, that instinct of trying not to get caught coming in late at night is stronger than common sense. Throw a little cheap beer and some shots into the mix, and it almost feels like I'm a teenager again.
The only thing different now is that I have a pool of some stranger's cum soaking my underwear and a man in front of me who stands like an angel. An exhausted, almost scruffy-looking angel more like, but my point still stands.
"You're up late," Spencer observes. It's a simple enough statement— not really judge-y, but I can tell that regardless of his knowledge of my coming home late, he seems shocked to see me coming through the front door right now.
And it's hard to look away from him. Just like it has been for the past two weeks. Still, I try, just barely avoiding his eyes as I cross my arms and fight the urge to clench my legs together. "I'm a whore. What's your excuse?"
Maybe not the best thing to say. But like I said, common sense? Gone.
"O—oh... Umm..." Spencer stumbles through his words, obviously stunned by my response, and the look in his eyes kind of makes me want to curl up in a ball and die from embarrassment. Still, I stand my ground and wait for him to continue.
He settles on a short, "I can't sleep," and then there's nothing else.
"Ah," I express. One syllable. I don't draw it out, I don't exaggerate it... This is the first real conversation I've had alone with him, and I've made it extremely awkward, so I sigh and take a few steps forward, trying to walk past him. "Okay. Goodnight."
I only make it a few steps before he stops me, his hand reaching out to tap my shoulder. "Wait—"
The touch makes me jump, and he pulls it away immediately as I turn to face him. My heart is racing at the speed of light, my panties are soaked through, and if I'm not careful that whole 'no common sense' thing is going to bite me so hard in the ass I won't have one left.
"Can I talk to you?" His voice is barely audible, and the gentle rasp it has to it seems to make me even more wet.
I nod, not trusting myself to speak.
"Look, I um... Your mom has been totally transparent with me about her relationships, so I know that she's been through a lot of them in a short amount of time... And I know that must be a little difficult for you. Especially now that I'm here... And you've been... distant. And I know that I don't know you that well, so forgive me if I'm assuming anything, but I just want you to know that I don't have any intention of making things difficult for you and your mother."
Too late, pal, I think bitterly, the gentle authority in his tone setting my insides alight. I'm positive that voice could get me to do so many things...
That's the alcohol and sex talking, Y/N, just shake it and move on...
He starts again, but I cut him off with a short wave of my hand. "Look, I... I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I had a really long night, and I'm exhausted. I just wanna shower and go to bed."
I expect more resistance, but Spencer only nods. I still can't bring myself to look him in the eye, though this time I catch his hands clenching at the bottom hem of his shirt. "I understand. Sleep well."
Without another word I turn on my heel and walk a little faster towards the stairs, and I'm about to take my first step when I realize he's followed me. His voice calls out my name softly from a few feet behind, and it stops me in my tracks regardless of my desire to get out of there as fast as I can. And then I turn around and finally look directly at his face.
Big mistake.
His eyes are on my legs again, trailing slowly upwards until he reaches my face. The light over here is dimmer, barely noticeable at all, though I swear I can see red forming on his cheeks.
"I like your dress," he says softly. It's almost meek, like he'd been afraid to say it but took a chance anyway.
It's such a random, small compliment, but with the alcohol and endorphins flowing through my body after the night I'd just had, it nearly makes me quiver.
It also makes me incredibly stupid.
An amused, almost sensual grin forms on my face as I make eye contact with him, and I feel myself throb at the way I can just barely see his throat move. He looks like a deer in headlights, afraid to make one sudden move.
"Turning to flattery to try and win me over, are we?" I say slowly.
I almost think he'll stumble over his words once more, but again he surprises me with a full answer. It's only three words but it's clear, and his voice is deep, and I want to fucking jump his bones right then and there.
"Is it working?"
This has to be the alcohol making me imagine things... I swear I didn't even drink that much tonight, but it has to be an obvious lapse in judgement. The drinking mixed with the sex mixed with the dirty thoughts I've been having about this man lately have to be what's making this feel real. It's all culminating into this one big fantasy (or delusion, more like), and all I need is to shower and sleep it off.
That has to be it.
So because there's no other reasonable explanation that my brain can conjure up, I take a chance and throw Spencer a wink before turning and sprinting up the stairs.
And it's that same seemingly undeniable reasoning for this illusion that doesn't keep my hands from wandering in the shower. Even though those warning sirens in my brain keep blaring, telling me that the common sense is still there for me to utilize, they're drowned out by my thrumming heartbeat and the repetition of Spencer's soothing, authoritative voice, guiding my movements.
Keep rubbing your clit for me, baby... Just like that, nice and slow...
Warm water cascades down the front of my body as I lean back into the wall of the shower, but that's not why I'm so warm. This heat radiates through my insides, spreading like wildfire and bringing out small whimpers and mewls that I know I'll have to contain in fear of waking my mom from her bedroom right next door.
But then the thought of her hearing me next door as I cry out her boyfriend's name only excites me more. I keep it quiet still, but just knowing that someone else is in the house while I'm having these thoughts right now (one of them being the object of said thoughts) is what finally brings me over the edge.
I finish my shower on weak legs, definitely overstimulated now, but also feeling even more tired. I know that the moment I lay down on my bed, I'll be pulled into the sweet, soft surrender of a deep sleep.
Nothing else has ever sounded so pleasant.
———
When I woke up that morning after, I was feeling surprisingly calm. Realistically I knew that my whole 'this has to be an illusion' montage had been less truth and more inebriated babble, and the longer I sat on it the more I thought it'd all turned out for the better.
Turns out, tipsily masturbating in the shower to thoughts of your mom's hot new boyfriend was a surefire way to get it out of your system, right?
Wrong.
It really had been okay at first. I thought about Spencer almost immediately, and yeah, he was still hot as fuck—But there wasn't this overwhelming desire within me to jump his bones when I saw him that morning, his hair messy and his hands clutching a cup of coffee while Mom made breakfast behind him.
But that good feeling I had about all of this? It lasts only about a split second.
Because the moment he looks up and sees me, the mug falls out of his hand and shatters to pieces. His eyes stay glued to me, even as my mother darts over to pick up the pieces of the ceramic that are scattered about the table and the floor. And when she turns back to grab a paper towel, he still stares at me, once again at my legs.
It takes me all of four seconds afterwards to remember that not only did I talk to him briefly last night, but I also flirted with him after he complimented me.
That whole part seemed to have slipped my mind when waking up, and now that his gaze is bringing me back to that moment, that 'this has to be an illusion' montage is starting to become larger than I'd remembered.
It isn't until he finally snaps out of it and starts to help my mom clean up the mess that I snap out of it, too, going back upstairs to clear my head and cool the heat radiating over my skin.
———
There's a knock at my bedroom door about an hour later, and it sounds different than my mom's usually quick two-knock succession. That means it's someone else, and unsurprisingly, my stomach tightens at the thought of seeing him again.
"Yeah?" I call out, turning in my desk chair and meeting Spencer's figure in the doorway. He's changed, a rather nice pair of slacks and a white button-up shirt clinging to his limbs.
"Can I come in?"
"Mhm," I say. I still don't know if I entirely trust myself to say anything more than a few words to him, and as he enters the room and sits on the foot of my bed, I wonder if he can tell.
He tries, really tries, to look me in the eye, but I know that it's hard. I've been in the same spot. And then he takes a deep breath before folding his hands in his lap.
"Y/N, I want to apologize... When we... talked last night... It was kind of weird, and then this morning wasn't really any better..." He can barely get out the words 'talk' and 'last night'... And then he avoids my gaze altogether, staring at the floor and trailing off, trying to put his thoughts together it seems.
And that's when it starts to click into place.
There's one thing that both last night and this morning have in common, and I've noticed it almost every time I've caught him staring at me. At my legs. It's happened almost daily since I've met him. And then, the night I come home clearly having just been fucked, waltzing past him, entertaining his fascination with my legs and then masturbating to thoughts of him in the shower, he finally starts dropping mugs.
He must also really feel something here. Something similar to my own feelings. And really, that should be a red flag, because he's my mom's boyfriend, and it's a goddamned fucking mess...
But fuck, it excites me.
I'm still wearing my pajama shorts, silky and lavender in color, and I use them to my advantage, slowly crossing one leg over the other and just barely gaining Spencer's attention back.
"Yeah, what was that, anyway?" I ask him, amusement dripping off my tongue.
I can tell from his reaction that he wasn't expecting me to ask. A few times he opens his mouth to speak and then closes it , stumbling before panicking. He's been pretty good so far at coming up with answers and explanations, so the fact that this time I finally seemed to have broken him down makes it all the more clear.
He must have heard me in the shower.
Right?
I'm almost completely positive that's what this is about. And there's one way for me to get the confirmation I'm looking for.
"So you heard me, huh?"
I try to keep my voice as plain as I can as not to give away my motives, and with my luck Spencer is so flustered that he probably wouldn't have even noticed it at all. He looks up at me, his eyes desperately trying to find something he can use to make up a lie, but in the end there's no use.
I've caught him. And he knows it.
"Yes," he whispers. He looks exhausted, guilty, and also a little like he wants to cross the barrier and kiss me.
Okay, maybe that part's just in my head. I really can't tell. But I do know that hearing me call his name out in the shower last night is what brought him to this point of severe distress. As much as that excites me, though, it also embarrasses me a little. Maybe if it hadn't happened we could have avoided further destruction.
It must read on my face, because Spencer perks a little. "Oh! Y/N, I'm not... I'm not mad or anything. I really didn't mean to overhear and invade your privacy... Really, I-I'm sorry."
The fact that he's apologizing to me right now, rather than acting all grossed out that I even did it in the first place, tells me he either feels guilty for not being able to help himself from hearing me, or he's just a good guy who loves my mom and doesn't want to ruin it because of a little mishap.
Either way, it's frustrating, because I don't know what to do.
Well, I know what I want to do, but I don't know if I should hint at it.
But then he does something. It's small, and no one would have noticed, but I've been fascinated with his hands since the moment I met him, so my eyes are instantly drawn there.
They're clenched so hard, his knuckles are nearly white.
He's nervous.
To ease his mind a bit, I hold off on poking the bear harder (though it's really tempting to see what will happen if I don't) and nod, trying to make myself look as apologetic and small as possible.
"It's okay... I... I won't make it awkward if you won't?"
His shoulders slump, and his body seems to relax. "Y–yeah. Yeah, deal."
He gets up off the bed and blurts one final apology before heading for the door, but that part of me that wants to poke the bear further makes me stand up and follow him.
"Spencer?" I call out.
He freezes and turns to face me, and I don't think he quite expected me to be as close as I am. I have to tilt my head up to look at him, and the angle gives me an added layer of this innocence I'm trying to achieve.
"I'm sorry, too..."
No the fuck I'm not.
Whether he can sense my lie or not, he doesn't show it. But I think he at least knows that I'm pitching my voice a little higher on purpose, and if that doesn't give it away, the way I'm staring at him sure should.
Still, he only nods and retreats.
All there's left to do is see what happens.
JUNE 25th
For someone who agreed not to make things awkward, Spencer sure can't keep his eyes off of me.
To be fair, I have tried to keep things fairly normal. I only really interacted with him if I had to, I kept my distance, and I saved my skimpier clothing for the strangers I was regularly going out to see almost every weekend.
My lustful feelings for him aren't as strong now that I've been getting some on a semi-regular basis and keeping myself occupied. I've been doing my part.
But I still can't shake him entirely.
Whenever he spends the night (which is surprisingly most nights), the occasional wet dream about him gets me frustrated when I know he's just down the hall and sleeping soundly next to my mom. On those days I try to cut as much interaction with him as I can, though it doesn't keep me from seeing the occasional stare he throws my way.
I wish I could say that I hate it.
But I don't, and it increasingly gets worse. It's only been a week, so there's still time, but honestly, I don't think there's any shaking him.
Today especially is one of those days where it's hard not to give into the incessant need to tease him and coax some stronger reaction out of him.
I talked to Mom earlier this morning about getting some new clothes, and she had this brilliant idea to have Spencer take me. "It would be a good chance for you two to bond a little, don't you think?" she insisted, nudging him in the side and silently pleading with her eyes for him to agree.
I could tell from the look on his face that he really wasn't ready to be alone with me again, but that only excited me.
"Yeah, I think that's a great idea," I piped up, positively beaming.
Mom was so excited for us to 'bond' and also that I was gladly inclined to go through with it that Spencer couldn't have said no to her even if he wanted to.
And I was pretty sure he didn't want to.
Yet here we are, sitting in the car, the air conditioning so strong it's blowing some of my hair into my eyes. I think it had been his way of punishing me for choosing today to wear a short skirt, something I usually refrain from nowadays unless I'm going out, and it makes me smile. I can't help it.
I also can't help the way my fingers play with my skirt, dying to tease him some more. I just want to see, to know for sure that I'm driving him mad.
"No offence, but you seem weird today... Is there something wrong?" I ask him, lifting my skirt just a smidge. The air from the car blows the fabric in waves.
"You're acting this way on purpose."
Well, I hadn't been expecting that answer... All this time he'd hardly been confrontative, and now he's full-on calling me out. It's plain to see that he's finally snapped, and I would have felt sorry about it if I didn't find it extremely sexy.
"What do you mean?"
"Y/N..."
My name on his lips is a warning. He's clearly annoyed, exasperated, and I'm loving every second. "Don't act oblivious. I'm not stupid, and neither are you. I don't want to make you hate me or anything, but you have to know where I'm coming from. I was willing to let the shower thing slide... And you said you were too, for that matter, so I don't know what's changed, but it has to stop now. Understood?"
Oh, all I want is to argue with him. I want to point out that none of this is really my fault because he's the one who hasn't been able to stop staring at me all summer so far. I want to tell him that if he wants this to stop he has to make it stop.
But that isn't going to give me any of the answers I'm looking for or further proof of my theory that he wants me just as badly as I want him. And I am not going to fuck this whole situation up by making a poorly-timed move on him.
I have to know for sure.
So, I fold my hands neatly in my lap, sigh, and look dead ahead. "Right... We said no awkwardness. I'm sorry."
Spencer seems to accept my apology and continues down the road.
When we make it to the mall I think he's calmed down. At least, he seems a little more comfortable around me, and honestly I'm okay with it. As much as his spiel in the car turned me on, it also exhausted me to the point of silence.
Even as we walk around each store in the mall, I just lead and he follows, not saying a word when I pick out a top or a pair of pants or whatever else I need. And when it comes time to pay, he takes the basket from me and pays for it with no question.
Near five bags of clothes later, I figure I could get used to this new dynamic.
But then we pass a lingerie store, and I remember that the main thing I'd needed was new underwear. I start to turn into the store, but stop suddenly, pausing awkwardly and deciding to go straight ahead instead.
"You don't want to go in?" Spencer asks.
I shake my head. "No, it's fine. I can just pick some up later, it's not a big deal."
He sighs then, nodding his head towards the sign. "If you need to go in, you can... I'll just wait out here if you're uncomfortable."
I really want to call him out, ask him if he's the one who should be worried about being uncomfortable. But so far this afternoon has been pretty decent, and I really don't want to make things any weirder than they have to be.
Besides... If my theory is right...
"Sure. Thanks. Uh, how am I gonna pay, though?"
"O—Oh... I'll uh... I'll just watch the counter and come in when you need me."
"Orrrr, you could just give it to me?"
This time I get a laugh out of him. "Not a chance. Go in, I'll wait."
I smile at him and hand him the bags to hold onto while I leave, and it fills me with absolute amusement that he'd just given me one more ounce of proof that I'm right.
He's gonna have to come inside and pay for what I bought. He could have just given me the card, and maybe he truly doesn't trust me with it (which I don't know why he wouldn't honestly), but he chose to come inside all the same.
I browse happily then, going through the displays and picking out things I need, but also things I know Spencer will like.
Specifically, I stumble on a pair of lavender panties, embroidered with flowery trim up top. The pattern from the outside is lace, but there's a thin layer of cotton underneath designed to be more comfortable to wear.
I've noticed that he can never seem to look away when I'm wearing anything, really, but it's more intense when I wear one of two things. Florals, and any type of purple. And these fit both of those bills perfectly.
Now there's just one more bill to take care of.
I stride over to the counter and turn around, finding that Spencer's caught my eye immediately. Either he truly had been paying attention to the counter the whole time, or he'd been watching through the glass, following me with his gaze to the best of his abilities. Either way, he blinks a few times and looks like he's gathering the courage to go in before actually taking any steps.
I laugh to myself, eager to gauge his reaction to this next step.
Surprisingly, he holds up well. The air between me, him, and the cashier is obviously awkward, but he doesn't say anything and barely looks at what she rings up. (I say barely because he tries extremely hard not to look at the purple pair I picked out, inadvertently adding another checkmark to my list of proof.) She tells him the total, he hands her the card, and within a minute, everything is in our possession and we're leaving the mall entirely.
I don't think there are any more steps to my plan today once we get in the car and I tell him thank you. (To which he responds a short and simple, Sure thing, and turns the radio on.)
But then there's a note taped to the front door, and it instantly gives me another one.
My Sweethearts,
I got called in on a work emergency and won't be back until 7. I would have called but I figured you were having a nice time and didn't want to interrupt! I'll bring home dinner, and then maybe you can tell me about how your day went. Can't wait to hear it!
XOXO,
Eve/Mom
I check my phone, seeing that it's almost 3.
Perfect.
But I don't want to give myself away too quickly, so I thank Spencer again for taking me out and tell him that I'm going upstairs to make sure everything fits right. He nods and lets me go, though not without lingering eyes. I can feel it.
The smile never leaves my face as I try all my clothes on. Once each article has been fitted, I throw it in a laundry basket and move to the next, until I get to the last piece.
The lavender panties.
As expected, they fit perfectly, and as I look at myself in the mirror I picture what Spencer would look like when he sees me wearing them.
That's right. When.
I throw back on my earlier outfit and grab the basket, acting as bored and normal as possible to find him sitting at the kitchen table, reading a book.
"Hey," I greet him, setting the basket in front of me once I reach the bottom of the stairs. "Everything fits good, I just need them washed now. Could you run these down to the laundry room for me? I think I'm gonna make something to snack on before Mom brings dinner."
It doesn't surprise me to see him look at my legs before my face, even if it is brief. I want to smile, but I hold back, watching him nod with a tight smile of his own.
"Sure."
He disappears and then I wait.
One...
Two...
Three.
I sneak as quietly as I can to the laundry room once I hear the washer door open. I hadn't specifically asked him to put them in the washer for me on purpose, and it looks like now he's doing exactly what I thought he might.
My head peeks around the corner, barely in his range of sight as I watch him empty the basket. He takes one item of clothing at a time and throws it in the washer, and halfway through the basket he stops, just to place a pair of my new underwear on the dryer beside him.
My heart races faster the more I wait for him to get to the end of the basket. Once he does, he pauses again, and I think I know exactly what he's looking for.
Still, he sets the basket aside and picks up the stray pair of underwear, a simple black cotton pair that I'd been getting for years, and drapes it over his hands. My thighs instantly clench, and I try so hard to remain where I am so I can see where he takes this.
He takes it straight to hell, apparently, tentatively pulling his dick out of his pants and gripping it firmly. I can barely see since his back is partially turned, but I see enough, and god he's so fucking pretty. My underwear dangle from his left hand while the other works slowly over his erection, a soft sigh falling from his lips.
I fight to let one of my own slip as my hand sinks down the front of my body, past the lavender cotton and lace that I know he just wishes he had right now.
And then, a few seconds later he's already coming, using my brand new underwear to catch each rope of it, and the sight nearly has me on my knees.
And because I want to catch him in the act, I quickly draw my hand away from myself and step into the room, barely giving him time to recover.
"You come fast."
Spencer looks utterly devastated when he turns to see me standing in the entryway to the laundry room, arms crossed and an amused smirk adorning my face.
"Y/N... I—I... I'm so sorry, I didn't... I..."
"Don't worry about it," I say, taking a step towards him and shrugging. "You heard me, and now I heard you... We're even. Besides, I... figured you might be looking for these."
He's still stunned, but he looks down all the same, watching my hands slip under my skirt and glide the lavender panties down my legs. I step out of them and hold the garment up on one finger, a soft smile still on my face.
"I picked 'em out just for you, you know," I tell him, tossing them past his face and into the washer. "I've noticed that you like purple."
This time he's quick to respond. "Y/N, we... We can't... This isn't right."
"Says the man holding my underwear soaked in his cum..."
He looks panicked again, extremely guilty, but if this isn't going to end in a total disaster, then I have to reassure him that I'm okay.
"Spencer, I'm not mad..." I take another step forward, and it feels much like trying to approach a wounded animal. I can see in his eyes and in his posture that this conflict is killing him, so I decide to show some rapport. "And I know... I know this is messy... I love my mom... And I'm sure you care about her a lot... But are we really going to ignore this? We tried that, remember? And now look where we are."
"I..." He swallows, shaking his head and trying to avoid my eyes. "I can't stop thinking about you... I can't..."
My hand finds his arm, and the light touch has him sighing out, an incredulous, breathy laugh escaping him. "Y/N, please... Don't."
"Don't what?" I ask softly, praying he won't turn me away. If he does, we're just back to square one, only the square is jagged, sharper than ever before, and in serious danger of injuring someone.
When he meets my eyes, I see nothing but a desire for something he knows he can't have. "Don't want me."
Now it's my turn to laugh. My knees start to wobble as I go down, keeping my eyes locked onto his, and I swear I see them dilate fully. I scoot in closer, sliding my hand up his leg and finding the words in my heart to finally say out loud.
"It's too late for that..."
My face moves closer, and the hand of his that doesn't currently hold my underwear flies down to gently tug at my hair, keeping me in place.
"If you do this... God, Y/N, I won't be able to stop myself..."
A smirk dances over my lips as I lean in, breath fanning gently over his exposed skin. "Don't."
He swallows. "Don't what?"
"Don't stop yourself."
I barely get the words out before his hand is completely pulling me towards him, and the second my lips press against the silky skin of his hard cock, he loses it completely.
His fingers thread through my hair as I kiss and lick my way softly up to the tip. Once I'm there, I swirl my tongue out and taste the small beads of cum that had remained after he came, a low, satiated hum radiating through my body and making him shiver under my touch.
And then I wrap my lips fully around the head of his dick, and there's no stopping the most beautiful sound I've ever heard come out of his mouth. It's a broken, desperate whisper of my name. The crack in his voice when he says it spurs me forward, and I take him deeper into my mouth until he hits the back of my throat.
That's when he tosses my underwear in the washer and uses both of his hands to grab my head, roughly guiding me along his cock and fully taking control of my actions.
The fire in my belly doesn't ease up, not even once he's decided that he can't take it anymore and pulls me off of him harshly.
And that's only because now he's fully turned over, finally given into these desires that have been plaguing him presumably from the moment we met.
"I want you stripped and in your bed, on your hands and knees within the next five minutes."
I get up off the floor and walk up to him until our bodies are flush, my arms reaching up to wrap around his neck.
"What are you gonna do to me, Spencer?"
He searches my eyes, and his own grow dark with the purest form of sin I'd ever seen. And when his hands come up over the back of my legs, and under my skirt to grab my ass and pull me even closer to him, I can't help the little mewl that slips past my lips.
He smiles, and if it hadn't been for the grip he held on me, I would have fallen to my knees. "Little girl, when I'm through with you, you'll have to come up with some excuse to your mom about why you can't walk straight... Is that what you want?"
The mention of my mom should send me running in the opposite direction, but his threat only prolongs that fire in my veins and makes me want him even more.
I tilt my head up and press a gentle kiss to his lips.
"Do your worst..."
———
Turns out he was very true to his word.
Sitting at the kitchen table is somewhat of a relief, but I try not to walk around as much when Mom gets home. She'd asked me almost immediately if I was okay, and I told her I was just hungry and needed to eat something.
She seemed to have bought it, rushing to the kitchen to unpack the fast food she'd ordered for us. Over her shoulder, Spencer gave me a sly smile, and it took everything I had within myself not to crumble.
Through bites of food, I only half-listen to Mom telling us about the stuff she had to do at work because most of the words I'm hearing are in my head— A loop of endless dirty talk that plants deep into the soil of my stomach and spreads out through my whole body. It infects me, like the most beautiful poison, and I never want it to stop.
"Tell me, sweetheart, you ever let a man come inside you before?"
His weight on top of me coupled together with the heft of his voice has me whining out in pleasure, each snap forward of his hips over my ass as he pounds into me from behind the most delectable burn I've ever felt.
"Uh huh," I answer happily, twisting my head to feel his cheek against my own. "That night you heard me in the shower... I walked through the door with a stranger's cum soaking my panties... And you know what?"
He grumbles, his hips hitting into me harder as he waits for me to continue.
"I wished it was yours..."
My legs clench together under the table and I take a large gulp of water.
I feel something graze over my bare shin, and I already know it's Spencer's foot, a silent reassurance of his presence and that no matter what, he'll always be here.
"Here's what's going to happen..."
He has me on my back now, my legs hoisted over his shoulders and bent back so I'm nearly folded in half. His hips are flush against mine and I can feel his cock throbbing as he comes into the condom.
"You're gonna make an appointment to make sure you're clean... You're gonna make sure you're on good birth control... And then the next time I fuck this pretty little pussy, you're gonna really know what it feels like to have a man come inside you."
Right... Like I really need a reminder of his presence.
I can practically feel it still inside me, taking up every inch of space my body could provide. And no matter how long I go without seeing him, I have no doubt that it'll always remain.
"But that's enough about me, I'm sorry." Mom's voice shifts and breaks me out of my fantasy. "So, how did your day of bonding go? You have fun?"
Spencer and I share a look, a smile spreading over his lips that makes me smile in turn.
"Yeah, Mom," I say. "It was great."
He nods in kind. "Yeah... We'll definitely have to do it again."
His foot grazing over my leg under the table cements the unwavering smile on my face, as does the way my whole body burns at the memory of him fucking me upstairs only hours before.
I don't even flinch or get sick to my stomach when Mom reaches over and gives Spencer a kiss.
———
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pairing: switch!Eren and switch!fem bodied reader
content: college au, OnlyFans/sex work, masturbation (m), praise kink, oral (f and m receiving), squirting, penetrative sex, drug and alcohol use, classic college party, Eren is down horrendously bad, I believe in long haired Eren supremacy, minors DNI
summary: when jean finally convinces eren to crawl out from under his rock to join society on instagram, he finds there’s a whole lot more than just pictures of food. there’s you.
wc: 15.4k (I know it’s a long one, hope you enjoy tho)
Eren Jaeger had recently found himself in a very, very deep hole. It all started innocently, when one of his best friends Jean had convinced Eren to crawl out of his hole and create an Instagram to join society.
“C’mon Eren,” Jean had teased over a week ago as they studied out on the lawn of their school. “You have no idea what you’re missing out on. No one even uses Facebook anymore, it’s all for moms who want to brag about little Timmy’s genius for figuring out one plus one equals two.”
“What do you even do on Instagram?” Eren’s brows knitted together in confusion, Jean whipping his phone out to show Eren exactly how to use it.
“You post pictures,” Jean navigated to his profile, tapping and sliding down to show Eren all of Jean’s shameless selfies.
“Of just yourself?” he breathed, not comprehending the appeal at all. Don’t people look at his face enough?
“Well, you can post anything you want, that’s the beauty of it. Plus, when you’re not doing that, you get to see and like other people’s pictures.”
“But it says here you follow, 1,536 accounts? And you have 5,000 following you back?” Eren asked incredulously, surprised about how popular his friend’s online persona was. “How do you even know that many people?”
“You don’t,” Jean shrugged, making a few taps to his home page as posts began to load up. “Celebrities have Instagram, our friends have Instagram, fuck, every attractive person on the entire planet has one.”
“How do you even find these people?” Eren’s questioning never seemed to end, the concept out of his comprehension. Facebook was one thing, he personally knew every single one of his friends and family there, and honestly he really enjoyed people just talking about their day to day ordeals.
That’s when Jean forced Eren to hand his phone over and download the app. Jean snapped a quick picture of Eren, to which Eren had no reaction time to. Before he could protest, Jean had already uploaded the candid with some random song lyrics as the caption. To be honest with himself, Eren had to admit that Jean had taken a very flattering picture. He had his knee brought to his chest while his arm dangled over, back slumped and relaxed while he sat on the blanket they had set down before lounging there, hair in his signature sloppy man bun. It was mid day, so all the shadows casted behind his body as the sun’s rays illuminated every high point and contrast of his stoic face.
After a few follow backs from his friends, Armin and Mikasa, he had accumulated a few dozen likes, and Eren couldn’t help the feelings of instant gratifications wash over him, “Okay? So, now what?”
“Now,” Jean began to instruct him, putting the phone back in Eren’s hands after showing him the basics of social media. “Go to my page, and start following whoever you want from my following list. There’s some really hot girls.”
And when Eren laid in his dorm bed that night by himself, he did just that. He really didn’t want to give Jean the satisfaction of showing him who he followed, or why he decided to. His finger scrolled and scrolled through the following list on Jean’s Instagram, hitting the follow button on a few bands he really enjoyed. But then, his hand stopped at one username in particular. The avatar showed a pretty girl, smiling brightly into the camera, sun’s golden rays blooming behind her hair.
Eren tapped on the username, and the first thing he took note of was the bio. ‘Connoisseur of mimosas and rock and roll’, he had to smirk at that, what a simple sentence to sum yourself up with. His eyes flickered to the link in her bio, titled, OnlyFans. He titled his head, Jean hadn’t mentioned what OnlyFans was? Did everyone have an OnlyFans too, like Instagram? He tapped on the highlighted link to be met with a page of prices. What the fuck was so exclusive about it that he had to pay ten dollars for a single picture? As he scrolled down a bit more, he noticed the pricing rising to the final payment cost.
“200 dollars for a personal Snapchat and to talk to me every day?” he read aloud, mouth open in disgust. “What the fuck is this?”
He hit the done option in the upper left corner, returning to the Instagram page in question. He tapped on the first photo, the girl’s back facing the camera, completely bare as her hair trickled down the center. She was sitting in a pretty pink bath, floating flowers all around, staring out a window, captioned, ‘wishing you were here’. His gaze lingered on the dips of her waist, before scrolling down to see the girl in some more clothing. This one was a much prettier picture, glasses set on the brim of her nose while she sat comfortably at a wooden table in a library. She stared directly into the camera, a pretty smile on her face while her hands sat perched under her chin. Some books were open on the table, and Eren took note of the quilted skirt peeking out from the under the bottom, her knees tightly crossed. ‘finals week is going to be the death of me, thank the universe for coffee’.
Eren back tracked out of the photo after double tapping, trying to drink in a comprehensive idea of what exactly people were paying so much money to see. He scrolled, and landed on his answer. The girl sat on a stool, phone angled in the mirror to take in her frame, wearing nothing but black lingerie and heels with a smirk on her face, the caption simply, ‘follow me on OnlyFans, link in bio’.
‘Hey Jean, what’s OnlyFans?’ Eren typed a quick text to his now mentor, patiently waiting as three bubbles appeared from his friend’s end.
‘Lol I see what you’re using Instagram for now, Jaeger’, was Jean’s only reply, and Eren could feel himself getting frustrated. Before he could type back an angry text, those bubbles popped up once again. ‘It’s basically porn, you pay for people’s pictures and videos’.
‘Why would someone want to do that? It’s free almost everywhere else’.
‘Because, young grasshopper, girls are hot and I’m trynna see some titties’.
Eren rolled his eyes at his friend’s stupidity. Deducing that Jean was obviously one of these paying customers, Eren felt a little more secure in himself as he tapped the follow button on the girl’s page. What he wasn’t expecting though was a notification informing him she had followed back, followed quickly by another one liking his only post. Eren couldn’t hold back a blush, heart thumping in his chest. Did this girl think he was good looking?
The thought didn’t sit for long as yet another notification popped up, this time a comment. The girl had simply put a heart eyed emoji, followed by a fire emoji. Eren retreated in haste back to her profile, analyzing every picture and caption.
That had been a month ago, and now Eren had a full blown addiction to the website, more specifically her Instagram. Eren was even paying for her OnlyFans now, making excuses that the money he spent would be used for coffees and lunches anyhow, and he really had to nip his caffeine addiction in the butt so he might as well spend his cash on her.
She had just posted a photoset, one of many on her page, completely naked aside from a gold necklace adorned on her neck, a simple initial of ‘E’ rested prettily on her collarbone. It was like she knew Eren was devouring her social medias on a daily basis. It was all for him, Eren had concluded. There was no coincidence that she had followed and liked his own page, it was all fate and meant to be. Eren had figured out how to DM someone, thanks to Jean showing him how to during one of their classes, and he had taken full advantage of the girl’s inbox. Unfortunately with no reply or read receipt to even prove she had received his messages, introducing himself and showering the girl with compliments. Oh, Eren was down bad. He even brought himself to pay out the $50 tier on her OnlyFans for the month, tired of entering his card information for every daily post.
His dick twitched hard as he drank in her form, curvaceous and beautiful and feminine. It wasn’t even like he just wanted to fuck her either, if he needed relief like that he’d just hit up one of the handful of girls he had saved in his contacts. Eren Jaeger wanted to take this girl out on a fucking date. They had so much in common, they were practically soulmates. She liked and followed all the same bands Eren did, posted on her stories all about her favorite foods and her zodiac sign. While he didn’t really believe in that shit, his Google search history of checking if Aries was compatible spoke to something completely different.
And then Eren began noticing something. How the library she frequently posted pictures in was the same library on campus. All the restaurants she went to were in an hour radius of him, half of them being his usual hangout spots. She lived locally, which thoroughly surprised him. Had he seen her around before? No, definitely not, he would’ve definitely remembered her pretty face. None of the girls that he knew looked like her, and if Eren didn’t know what a woman’s body felt like, he would’ve sworn her body was made of plastic.
Eren was practically an expert at Instagram now, and had plenty of opportunities to follow other beautiful women, but he chose not to. He felt guilty one night as he maneuvered through another pretty girl’s pictures, quickly retreating back to the comfort of his favorite girl’s instead. This was one of the reasons Eren had fought getting online for so long, whenever he found something he liked, he got obsessive.
His attention was drawn back to her naked photos, and he slipped his hand under the fabric of his sweatpants as he began to fuck his fist to her pretty image. All for him, he panted as he imagined what she would look like in front of him, beautiful and begging for his touch.
“Thank you so much,” you smiled graciously at the Starbucks employee in front of you, taking your large iced coffee from his hands.
“No problem, have a great day!”
You tossed your hair behind your shoulder as you turned around, the smile still vibrant on your face. Today was a good day, you decided almost as soon as you woke up. After studying for finals for nearly two weeks straight, you finally had a day off to enjoy yourself. Your best friend, Sasha, had convinced you to go on a small shopping day with her. You eagerly agreed that morning, toothbrush forgotten in between your teeth as your fingers rapidly tapped away to schedule a time. You were running out of sexy outfits for your OnlyFans content, and frankly, you really need some new summer clothes. Spring was drawing to a close, and you couldn’t just wear hoodies and leggings all year round, no matter how much you wanted to.
The mall was about two blocks away from the Starbucks, and as you chugged down your coffee, you slid your phone out of your back pocket of your jeans to see multiple notifications from Instagram. Just more people liking your posts, and some DMs, but you just rolled your eyes. You got tired of explaining on your stories that they were broken, and Instagram had no intent on trying to adjust it so you’d be able to view your messages and reply. You sighed, slipping it back into your pocket as you made your way through the entrance of the shopping mall.
Sasha was seated at a table in the cafeteria near the entrance you had just walked through. She jumped out of her seat, a wide smile on her lips as she strutted up to your form.
“You ate without me?” you pouted, smelling the leftover scent of pizza wash over you.
“Yeah, but don’t worry, I’m still hungry,” Sasha waved her hand. This girl had the fastest metabolism of a person you had ever met, so her statement didn’t really phase you.
“Okay, so, before I spend all my money and forget, we have to go to the lingerie shop,” you stated, stomping your way to the escalators.
“I’m guessing your OnlyFans is doing good?” she asked, knowing just how expensive this certain store was as she lingered behind you.
“Dude, you literally wouldn’t believe it,” you sighed dreamily. “If I had known how much money I’d be making, I would’ve done it way sooner. You should seriously consider making your own.”
“Nah, I’ll just let you have the spotlight on this one,” she snickered as the both of you stepped on the moving staircase. “Are they all creepy old men?”
“No, surprisingly, there’s a few people I have classes with that follow me,” you gossiped. “You know Jean from economics?”
Sasha nodded, eyes widening, “No fucking way, he’s my friend! I’m not that surprised though, he’s always talking to girls and asking for their Instagrams.”
“He’s never even talked to me, right? But he buys every single post I put out! Which is crazy, considering it’d just be cheaper for him to buy the subscription,” you shrugged, stepping off the escalator and walking shortly afterwards into the lingerie store. “That’s what most my viewers do, anyways.”
“Seen anyone else interesting?” Sasha hummed, eyeing the various garments surrounding her in intrigue.
Your eyes honed in on a strappy bright red one piece, “Just a few of his friends, I think. One of them is pretty cute, actually, but he’s only got one picture up.”
“You talking about Eren?”
You nodded, eyes lighting up, “Yeah, do you know him? I’ve never seen him around campus before.”
Sasha was beginning to plot, “Yeah he usually hangs out with Armin and Mikasa, but he goes to a lot of house parties. You know, actually, I think Jean is throwing one soon. He rented a cabin for after finals, you should come!”
“Won’t that be weird?” you scrunched your face, picking up the red one piece and moving onto the next garment that caught your eye. “Like I said, I’ve never even talked to him.”
“Yeah but you know Mikasa and me,” she raised her thumb towards herself. “Eren will be there too.”
“All I said was that I thought he was cute, Sasha,” you laughed her off. “But I’ll think about it. Text me the details and I’ll let you know if I’m free.”
“Something tells me Jean would be very happy to see you there,” Sasha chuckled, you giggling in response to her suggestive comment. The two of you picked through the selection of skimpy clothing, taking it up the cashier to check out.
You walked out of the store together, giggling over small banter. Your trip to the mall was quick after that, and in the end you held a grip full of medium sized paper bags, walking outside the mall with Sasha.
“Oh, hey!” Sasha suddenly quipped, placing her bags on the sidewalk, pulling her phone out of her crossbody bag. “We should take a picture!”
“Sasha I’m not even wearing lipstick,” you half heartedly complained, getting ready to pose next to your best friend.
“Literally, you’re so fucking hot,” she deadpanned, turning her head to look you directly in the eyes. “Shut up and get in, bitch.”
You threw your head back in laughter, leaning in on the left side of her frame, pushing your hair framing your face behind your ear. You smiled widely while Sasha did the same, hearing a soft click of her phone, indicating the photo was taken. Your phone vibrated in your pocket, bringing it out to see a notification stating she had posted it to her story. You’d repost it to your story later after you grabbed food, you decided, the conversation turning to the topic of where the two of you would eat before heading back to your apartment to get drunk in celebration of your semesters ending.
Eren and his two friends sat crowded in Jean’s dorm room bathroom, passing around a blunt. He could hear Connie coughing harshly as it was passed to Eren, the boy taking a deep drag of the backwoods cigarillo. Exhaling slowly, Eren brought his phone out of his hoodie pocket to open it up to change the song playing, his phone instantly opening to Instagram.
Distracted now by his favorite obsession, he glanced at the stories section, her name front in the line, glowing in that now familiar pink and purple circle. Eren couldn’t have tapped faster, and when he did, his mouth hung open.
“Yo,” Eren spoke loudly, shoving his phone in Jean and Connie’s faces. “Sasha knows this girl?”
“Yeah, they’re like best friends,” Connie quirked an eyebrow. “You don’t know her?”
“No, I just saw we had mutual friends,” Eren’s eyebrows knitted together. “How come we’ve never hung out with her before?”
“I don’t know actually,” Jean said, exhaling the blunt after it was passed to him from Eren’s fingertips. “I had a class with her this semester, she seems nice.”
“You’re only saying that because she’s hot,” Connie chuckled. “I bet you’ve never even talked to the girl.”
Jean’s face ignited in a fierce blush as he found interest in the ceiling tiles, “Shut up. It’s harder to talk to girls than it looks. You should know that, Connie.”
“Hey! I talk to girls!” Connie leaned up from his seated position on the floor.
“Idiots,” Eren sighed, rolling his eyes. “Neither of you have any game.”
“Not all of us are as gifted as you are, Eren,” Connie protested, a smirk spreading across his lips. “You could talk to a fucking mouse and it’d figure out someway to talk back.”
Eren rolled his eyes again, harder this time, “You just talk to girls like they’re human beings, it’s not that fucking hard.”
“Oh yeah? Betcha’ won’t be saying that whenever you see that girl around,” Jean teased, finally passing the blunt to Connie in the rotation, Connie muttering something about hogging it.
Eren shifted uncomfortably on the closed toilet seat, “Whatever, Jean.”
“Speak of the fucking devil!” Jean shouted, scaring the very high pair of boys at the suddenness. “Sasha just texted me asking if she can bring her this weekend to the cabin!”
Eren’s heart erupted into a flutter of uneven beats, his face heating up. This girl he had been drooling over was going to be at a party, with him? He suddenly felt like a teenager, the idea of seeing his precious addiction face to face giving him full blown anxiety.
Soft thuds of the bass of the stereo filled the room, catchy pop music drawing Eren out of his stupor to gaze hastily around the room, searching.
“What’s up with you tonight?” Armin had asked him, drawing his attention away once again. “It’s been an hour since the party started and you’ve barely drunk anything.”
Taking note of the full red solo cup in his hand, flickering his gaze between the liquid and his best friend, Eren shrugged and tipped the rim back in his lips, opening his throat and taking large gulps until the cup was empty. “Happy?”
Armin laughed loudly, although only having two strong drinks, his best friend was beginning to feel the numbness of intoxication, “You’re really out of it tonight, everything alright?”
“Yeah I’m fine, just waiting for the smoke sesh so I’m not cross faded,” Eren smirked, lying easily. “Last time I got too drunk and decided to rip Jean’s bong, I woke up in some random front yard with one shoe on.”
Armin shook his head in disbelief, “You really need to start making better life choices, Eren.”
Eren shook the empty solo cup in front of his friend, “I’m trying here.”
Truthfully, the reason Eren wasn’t halfway to getting shit faced was because he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of the girl of his dreams. She still hadn’t shown up yet, and Eren was getting anxious that she wasn’t going to show. Sasha and Mikasa hadn’t shown up yet either, which gave him a resemblance of hope that the three of you were together, and on your way currently to the party. His heart thudded heavily in his ribcage as he heard the jingle of the front door turn, and his attention was fully concentrated on the door frame ahead of him. His jaw dropped at the sight, his breath caught in his throat.
You asked Sasha earlier that day what you should wear to the party, and Sasha had just waved and told you whatever you felt looked the best. Not exactly helpful, you had just decided on black ripped jeans and a low cut shirt, paired with your favorite leather jacket and trusty Vans. You felt incredibly undressed as Sasha drove to Mikasa’s house, watching her modelesque frame saunter out her front door towards the back car doors.
“Mikasa, you could make a paper bag look hot,” you showered her with appreciation, her face blushing in response as she tugged her long sleeved body con dress towards her knees. “Fuck, should I have worn a dress? How nice is everyone else dressed?”
Sasha couldn’t have given two fucks about how she dressed in front of her friends, adorned in blue skinny jeans and a causal crop top, although her face was beat to the Gods, “Shut the fuck up, you’re one to talk about making paper bags look good. Besides, knowing the boys they probably made minimal effort, probably all wearing sweatpants.”
The three of you snickered at this, and Sasha pushed the car into drive and set out on your 45 minute journey into the mountains. Nerves hadn’t set in until you were face to face with the cabin door, nervous that the girls’ friends weren’t going to like you. Putting a brave face on, Mikasa grasped the door knob and pushed it open, the three of you gliding in.
Eren honestly had wanted to drop down to his knees and kiss the ground you walked on. You were the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Your eyes were searching, for what neither of you knew, until your eyes had finally landed on him. You smiled politely, moving your hand up in a quick wave to both him and Armin.
Eren couldn’t fathom moving any single part of his body, so awestruck by you. Jean shook Eren out of his dumbstricken state with a hard pat to his shoulder, “Why don’t you go introduce yourself, Eren?”
“Fuck off, horse face,” Eren spat, trying to will himself to either make strides towards you or to break his gaze, neither working. “Why don’t you?”
“I’d love to,” he smiled wickedly, inspired by liquid courage to lock arms with Eren and force him closer to the trio of girls that had finally made their appearance. Armin followed behind, Connie emerging out of the bathroom to give his hello’s to his best friend Sasha and company.
Eren could hear his heart beat in his ears as he stopped right in front of you, forcing his mouth closed in a tight lipped grimace. He felt like a fucking teenager with a crush.
“Hi,” you introduced yourself, smiling widely. “It’s so nice to finally meet you guys!”
“Nice to meet you too!” Armin spoke up, oblivious to his friends’ reaction to the fresh pretty face of yours.
Jean and Connie wouldn’t admit it, but they were feeling their own nervousness. Jean’s out of guilt as he scanned your body top to bottom, Connie’s natural shyness kicking in due to the newcomer. Both were able to overcome it though, and offer up their own introductions. Your eyes landed on Eren once again, tilting your head, waiting for his intro.
“I’m Eren,” he swallowed. “Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” you looked down, smiling softly. You raised your hand then, looking up at the boys in front of you, revealing a handle of vodka. “I brought a gift with me too!”
“My kinda girl!” Jean spoke just a bit too enthusiastically. “Shots, shots, shots!”
Connie pumped his fist, chiming in, the rest of the party joining as well as the crowd made their way into the kitchen. Eren purposely hung back, trying to keep as close to you as possible.
“You happen to bring any chasers with you?” he had leaned in, tickling the side of your head with his breath.
“No, I totally forgot,” you sheepishly admitted.
“Looks like we’re all gonna get plastered then,” he chuckled smoothly, sending goosebumps down your body.
“Is it really a party then if at least one person doesn’t have their head in a toilet?” you had easily quipped back, feeling more comfortable now that the introductions were out of the way.
Eren hummed in half hearted agreement, feeling slightly more relaxed himself. Besides, his attention was being grasped by the plastic shot glass being shoved in his hand, as well as your dainty one. The group held up the shot glasses, a few phone cameras capturing the moment to post on their stories, and you all swung your heads back to allow the bitter liquid to trickle down your throats. Eren made a mild face, taking a stolen glance at your own to see your grimace, sticking your tongue out in disbelief at the taste.
Another hour had passed by, and Eren was running out of reasons to follow you around the cabin as you shifted between conversations to get to know the group of friends better. You hadn’t really noticed him trailing behind you, nor did you really care because you were very quickly warming up to Eren. It also didn’t hurt that he looked exceptionally better in person. His hair was lazily swung into a half top bun, wearing a couple of gold chains with his white tee tightly hugging his torso, tucked seamlessly into black ripped jeans displaying his muscular knee caps. Eren was definitely a looker, you shifted your gaze up to his face as he made some witty comment to Sasha, his eyes flickering to your face to catch your reaction.
“Oh my god, there was this one time,” Sasha spoke your name. “She had gotten so high during last year’s spring break, and the two of us and Mikasa came up with the brilliant idea of becoming one with nature. So, naturally, we ran to Walmart and bought this tent on clearance. Turns out it was made for kids, so none of us actually fit inside when we got back to Mikasa’s house. Mikasa and I curled up in a ball, surrounded by snacks, and this smart girl over here decided it was the best choice to just lay out on the lawn and pass out.”
“I wanted to watch the sun rise!” you laughed, trying to quickly explain yourself to Eren’s amused smirk. “And the grass was just so nice that night!”
“The grass was basically straw,” Sasha countered teasingly. “Twenty degrees outside, absolutely freezing. She was MIA for like a week afterwards with a cold.”
You shrugged carelessly, “Worth it.”
Now the two of you had sleeping on lawns in common? Eren scoffed inwardly. Yup, it was official, you were his soulmate. Still though, the topic of why you were so casual in person while your naked pictures existed online tickled his thoughts. He was hoping that somehow it’d get brought up naturally in conversation, saving himself the embarrassment if you were to get offended by his questioning. So far it seemed you liked him, not having said a word about him trailing after you like a lost puppy. Jean had been sending him knowing looks all night, Connie shooting two thumbs up at Eren while Armin looked on in confusion.
Mikasa had strolled out of the bathroom finally, joining the trio who stood casually in the living room, simply stating, “I’m starving. You guys think they deliver pizza out here?”
Sasha’s eyes widened in excitement, “I don’t care if it takes an hour to get here. We’re ordering right now.”
Already ahead of the two, your phone was pulled out in your hands to open up the Dominoes app, punching in the location of the party and placing the order online. Eren watched this all, peering over your hands to see the total.
“Guys, we should chip in,” Eren called out, grabbing the boys’ attention. “We’re ordering pizza.”
“No, no!” you protested, confirming the order. “It’s really fine, my treat.”
“But that’s really expensive,” he frowned, the group all joined together in the living room.
“Don’t worry, she’s got that OnlyFans money,” Sasha waved off Eren’s concern.
“OnlyFans?” Armin questioned, darting his eyes in between Sasha and you. “What’s that?”
Jean hid his blushing cheeks and your eyes flickered to him, then back to Armin, “I sell naked pictures online.”
“So what, a bunch of old guys give you money?” Armin had asked innocently, not judgemental in the slightest.
You giggled, relieved he wasn’t asking in a demeaning manner, “Actually, you’d be really surprised about who you know follows me. There’s a lot of people from school.”
Eren’s blood ran cold as he felt a sudden onset of embarrassment. Did that mean you had known this entire time Eren was one of these followers? If you did, you didn’t let on to it, smiling shyly as the questions ended. Eren hadn’t been done with the conversation, but pride from exposing himself in front of his friends kept his mouth shut.
It was around one in the morning when the party was at its peak. Sasha was being held up by her legs by Connie as she did a keg stand, you and the group cheering the girl on in your own drunken hazes. She tapped the large can, indicating she was finished, Connie settling her down on solid ground as she belched loudly.
“That was fucking awesome, Sasha!” you giggled, throwing your arms up and around her. You were definitely feeling the shots you had been feeding yourself all night, holding your red solo cup high above the girl so it wouldn’t slosh on her.
“You should totally try it!” she encouraged devilishly.
You pouted then, taking a moment to consider, “I’ve never done a keg stand before, what if I can’t do it?”
“I’ll help you!” Eren all but pounced on the opportunity, your smile turning into a tipsy giggle. “It’s not that hard, you just keep chugging until you can’t anymore. I’ll hold you, you got this.”
You lightly blushed, nodding your head at the encouragement, bringing a fist to your chest as a salute, “I’ll do it! We gotta’ put on a cool song though, if I’m going to fail miserably I might as well have a good song to do it to.”
Mikasa volunteered, as she was already DJ, having the best music taste out of everyone in the group. She dug her phone out of her pocket, switching over to a ‘Pursuit of Happiness’ remix. Connie whooped at the choice, and everyone began to chant your name as you hovered by the keg, very nervous. Eren then placed his large hand on the small of your back, leaning in to reassure you once again. You gulped, nodding that you were ready to get into position.
“Okay, so you’re going to lean your arms on the top of the can, and I’ll grab your legs. Like when you were a kid and you’d do that stupid wheelbarrel thing,” Eren easily explained, chuckling lightly. “Use your hands to let me know when you’re done.”
You did as you were told, resting your upper body against the keg as Eren hooked his arms around your calves. He couldn’t help but admire how strong your legs felt in his grasp, and how right it felt to finally have some bodily contact. He had been trying to figure out a natural way all night, and he was bubbling over in excitement, the chance had arisen, glorious in the promise of touch.
You placed your lips hesitantly around the tap, opening it up into your mouth, and began to chug. ‘Chug, chug, chug!’ was chanted all around you, even Mikasa joining in on the fun. Fists bumped in the air, and you felt like the coolest fucking person in the world. Doing a keg stand wasn’t exactly in your goals list, but fuck did it feel like it should’ve been as your ego inflated.
“That’s it, you’re doing great!” Eren’s thumbs brushed the inside of your knees, leaning in to whisper. “Good girl.”
You sputtered around the tap, choking harshly. You removed your mouth quickly to gasp for air, and the tap shot up all over your shirt, jacket long forgotten resting on the sofa in the living room. Eren moved your legs down to the floor quickly seeing this, and wrapped his arm around your waist to steady you as your arm shot out to grab onto something, in this case his other arm.
“You alright?” Jean asked, a look of concern washing over his features as you finally got some air into your lungs.
“Yeah,” you coughed again, blushing in embarrassment. “I definitely made a mess though.”
“I brought some extra clothes with me,” Eren offered quickly. “One of these idiots always manages to somehow spill something within the first hour of drinking. I’ll show you where my bag is at.”
You smiled in appreciation, biting your tongue to accuse him of purposely throwing you off your game with his little praise that had your knees buckling. He unwound his arm, taking your hand and leading you to the staircase by the entryway, your smaller form following behind him as he thudded up the stairs. Three doors greeted you at the top, and he led you into the master bedroom, plainly decorated and lacking personal belongings. You watched as he chucked a duffle bag onto the mattress, unzipping it and going through his clothes. He found a sweatshirt, smirking inwardly as it had been one of his old sports ones with his last name embroidered on the back. Proud he could provide a claim to you, he extended it to you, and you gladly accepted it.
“Well, you did really well in the beginning there,” he chuckled, whisking his stray baby hairs behind his ear. “Sucks about the shirt though. The first time I tried to do a keg stand, I barfed everywhere.”
You laughed lightly, fingering the hem of your shirt, “I guess it could’ve been a lot worse. Still, at least I can check this off my bucket list.”
Eren’s eyebrows shot into his hairline as you lifted your shirt to reveal your bare stomach, and he whisked his body completely around so you didn’t see his reddened cheeks, “You could’ve asked me to leave.”
Behind him, you let a mischievous smirk cross your lips, “Nothing you haven’t seen before.”
Eren’s mouth fell open at your bold statement, letting his words leave before he could stop them, “You know?”
“Of course,” you discarded the sodden shirt to the floor, sitting on the bed instead of tossing the sweatshirt on. “You’re my favorite viewer.”
He caught your movement in the corner of his eye, and he turned his head to take in the sight. Fuck, you were even more beautiful in person. Your bra was white and pretty and dainty, pushing your tits together, accentuating cleavage that Eren wanted to bury his face in. His gaze moved up to your face, smiling so innocently at him as he let out a dark chuckle, “Is that so?”
You hummed, leaning back to expose your form a bit more, feeling confident from the alcohol, “You like every one of my pictures, you buy all my content, you’re pretty cute, of course you’re my favorite.”
Eren’s ego soared as he turned his body completely towards you, taking a small step forward, “You’re just so beautiful, how could I not? I do have to ask this though, how come you never answered any of my messages?”
“Oh, my DMs are broken. Instagram doesn’t let me view them or respond,” you explained easily. “You know, you could’ve hit me up on OnlyFans, I definitely would have answered you.”
A blush crept up on Eren again as he averted his gaze to the floor, “I didn’t think about that.”
You giggled softly, “What’d you send me anyways?”
“I asked you out on a date,” he admitted, growing more nervous. “Told you that you were really pretty. Y’know, stuff you probably get all the time.”
“Most of my messages are from guys trying to take me out drinking and to get a quick fuck,” you scoffed. “Y’know, if the offer is still on the table, I’d really like to take you up on it.”
“Really?” Eren’s eyes met yours in surprise, you watched his Adam’s apple bob along his throat as he gulped. “You’d want to go out with me?”
“Yeah, who else is going to hold me up when I try to do a keg stand again?” you smiled sheepishly, batting your eyelashes. Eren’s hands twitched at his sides, fuck, you were so pretty.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked seriously, his gaze hardening as he felt a wave of possessiveness. In his mind, you were already his girlfriend. You had accepted his date, and he’d be damned if he didn’t try to push his luck further.
Eren had never felt the way he feels right now. He took immediate notice of your blushing cheeks, your confident lean turn into a shy arch as you pushed your body into a hunched over seating position. Eren had experience with girls, that everyone knew as a fact, he was very far from being a virgin. You made him feel like a fucking virgin, heart beating wildly in his chest. All he wanted to do was to grab you and hide you away for his own greedy pleasure, the darkest parts of his mind tickled by the thought. He had laid a claim to you way before he had ever met you, and he wouldn’t let you escape now that he had you here, alone.
You didn’t answer his request, you pushed yourself off the mattress and met his staggering stance halfway. Unknown to his wicked thoughts, his past month of obsessing of you, you leaned up, gently brushing your lips against his. No one had ever asked you this simple question before, instead just taking the action as if they had owned you, and you thought to yourself that you could really love this boy who presented himself so innocently to you.
The soft placement of your lips to his was not enough, and Eren buried his mouth with your own, moving both of his hands to cup your face. He could feel your jaw beneath the pads of his fingertips as you attempted to meet his pace, sensual and passionate. The need for air forgotten for the both of you, sucking in deeply through your noses as the space continued to close between your bodies.
“Gonna take you someplace real nice,” muttered Eren as he pulled away slightly to gaze his half lidded eyes on your fluttering eyelashes, your gaze now hidden from him. “I know you like that one place in the city, I saw your little post of you wearing that tight dress. You looked so fucking pretty.”
Tingles shivered up your bones, a sharp intake of breath as you fluttered your eyes open to take in his deep lustful expression, “I’ll wear it for you, if you want.”
“Wear my necklace too.”
You pulled away completely this time, baffled, “Your necklace?”
“The one with the ‘E’ on it,” he breathed, moving forward to accommodate the sudden distance, his lips meeting the corner of your mouth. You realized then what he was referring to, a small smirk uplifting his kiss. You wouldn’t tell him though that the necklace in question was just some random trinket with no meaning you had purchased, or that you hadn’t even recognized the pretty cursive as a letter. You figured out very quickly Eren’s little crush was a bit more involved than just him attached to your hip at this party. No, it was way deeper than that. All of the likes, the money, the new information of messages made sense to you. Eren had believed you were his, and he had sought out confirmation all night to prove it.
“Okay,” you played along to his fantasy, an expert since it was your job online already to provide this to your viewers. “What else do you want me to wear?”
“There’s this one set of lingerie,” Eren was the one to pull back now, letting his teal eyes trail downwards to your chest, displeased by the lack of skin shown to him in that instance. “The black lacy one, fuck, wear that. You look so fucking sexy in that.”
“You don’t like when I wear white?” you pouted, bringing your hands to rest against the peak of your breasts, framing them like a picture.
“I like anything you wear,” a smirk crossed his features, eyes locked in on your tits. “Or what you don’t wear.”
You were met with two choices then. One, kiss Eren and get dressed and save yourself for your date, or two, fulfill his now present fantasy of his that was beginning to morph into your own. You mentally battled the decision in your mind, feeling the desire curl in your stomach at each option. If you were to give in now, Eren might not want to continue to chase after you, the promise of an actual date forgotten. Not to mention the party of people down stairs, the thud of music softened behind the closed door of the bedroom indicating it was still in full swing. Eren saw your hesitation, and let his hands travel to your elbows comfortingly.
“I know we technically just met,” he started, eyes now locked in on yours in genuine honesty. “But I really like you. You’re all I’ve thought about for the past month, so if you don’t feel comfortable going any further, that’s okay, I’ll wait. I’ve waited this long.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” you bit your lip as you watched his teal orbs flicker to your mouth. “It’s just — oh God, this is embarrassing to talk about so soon.”
“Shh, it’s okay, I won’t judge,” he cooed, bringing just a hand up to soothe over your cheek.
“I’m not exactly quiet,” you admitted, gesturing towards the floor. “I don’t really want to be the girl who fucks someone at the first party they show up to.”
Eren hadn’t predicted you to be loud in his fantasies, but he was really wishing he had. He held back a groan at your confession, images of what could be filling his dirty mind, “Fuck, okay, no problem. I don’t have any condoms with me anyways.”
“Actually,” you drawled. “I’m on the pill, so as far as that goes, that doesn’t really matter. I’m clean too, I haven’t been with anyone in a long time.”
Boxes were being ticked quickly off of Eren’s checklist, and he let his jaw hang open, “I’m clean too, I don’t fuck anyone without a condom, to be honest.”
I’m going to fuck her raw, is all that was going through his mind. Treat her so good, take her out wearing her pretty little dress and treat her like a fucking princess.
“Please tell me you’re free tomorrow,” Eren pleaded. “I’ll take us fucking anywhere you want.”
“I am, actually,” you batted your eyelashes.
“Cool,” he muttered, beginning to feel drawn into your lips again. As you began to lean back in, a sharp knock sounded at the door.
“Hey! Everything alright?” you both froze, recognizing the voice as Armin’s. Of course he’d be the only one to dare interrupt, and the party below had discouraged him. Eren had taken you upstairs, and while they were all aware of the possibility of the two of you would be hooking up, Armin was more concerned that one or both of you had gotten sick and were in need of help.
“Yeah, we’re fine! Be out in a second!” Eren shouted, feeling suddenly frazzled from the intense interaction between you two. If Armin had opened the door, seeing the two of you locked in together so closely, making out feverishly, it would be completely mortifying. Especially since it wouldn’t be the first time Armin had accidentally seen his best friend in a suggestive situation.
You pecked his lips quickly then, breaking out of his embrace to throw his sweatshirt over your head. Eren was counting backwards in his head to rid himself of the half erection in his pants, nearly impossible as he thought about how pretty you looked in his clothing.
“C’mon,” you tugged at his hand, urging him to follow you back downstairs. “We have a pizza to eat and friends to convince that we definitely didn’t just fuck for ten minutes.”
The group hadn’t made a single comment when you two rejoined the party, only just knowing smirks from Jean and Connie to Eren. Sasha had wiggled her eyebrows at you, and you quickly pulled her and Mikasa into the bathroom to recap what had just occurred upstairs. The girls clapped drunkenly at your news of a date, incredibly excited that their best friend was finally going out with a boy. The night had ended around three in the morning, bodies scattered throughout the house to pass out wherever they pleased. Eren had continued to stay by you the rest of the night, this time, not shy at all as he stole touches to your back. And when it came time to pass out, you felt smugness as he rested his head on your back while you laid on your side on the same bed upstairs, his arm thrown tightly around your waist. Sasha curled up in front of you, your own head snuggling into her shoulder as the room spun you into a deep slumber.
You sat at a vanity in your apartment bedroom the next evening, applying various makeups to your face. Mikasa had awoken you and Sasha pretty early the next morning, wanting to go home so she could get ready for her job. Eren snored quietly behind you as you tried your best to maneuver out of his grasp, and the three of you cleaned up the cups and plates scattered around the house as a thank you to Jean for the invitation. Sasha had driven you all the way back to your place when you realized you were still wearing Eren’s hoodie, and you smirked. Now he definitely had a reason to get you on this date tonight, you had something that belonged to him.
When Eren had woken up, he truly believed for a few minutes that you had just been a dream. Pictures and videos posted all over Instagram had shown him differently though, the two of you leaning against each other on the leather couch smiling drunkenly on Armin’s story had his heart pounding. His arm was around your shoulders, your head was tilted in the crook of his neck, and then Eren remembered that he was going to see you again tonight. He took a screenshot before the story moved on to a video of the group in a heated discussion about music tastes, a quiet chuckle made its way out of his throat as he recounted memories that would become very fond to him.
He had posted the picture then to his Instagram, a few others followed after that included him and his other friends. Eren tagged all of the people, but most importantly, the picture of the two of you was the first in the line up of the photo set. A few messages hit his inbox after he hit the post button, some classmates asking if you were his girlfriend, because you were wearing his sweatshirt in the photo. He decided to not respond, because as much as he wanted to tell them yes, he knew he’d be jumping the gun. His heart raced as a notification popped up — you had liked the picture, and added a comment, ‘last night was a movie’ with a kiss emoji. When he refreshed the page, your lit up story showed him that you had even reposted his photo set. His ego soared, his affections no longer one sided, and he couldn’t fucking wait to take you out later and show you the best time he could.
Eren had gotten your phone number from Sasha not long before your date, asking for your address and trying to pick out a time to head out to dinner. You tapped a response quickly, and looked at the clock to gauge how much time you’d need to be fully ready. That had been about three hours ago, your body had been scrubbed and shaved, hair curled prettily down your back as you added the final touches of lipstick to your lips. The dress Eren had talked about was laid out on your perfectly made bed, a pretty satin champagne colored fabric, and your apartment was fairly clean, fully expecting his company after the date of all went well. You dressed yourself easily, slipping on black heels when you heard the chime of your phone, letting you know Eren was awaiting you outside.
When the elevator doors chimed open as you walked into your lobby, you saw from the entrance doors Eren leaned back casually against the Uber he had offered to pay for. His attention immediately focused on your form as you exited your building, his gaze flickered all over your body.
“You look incredible,” Eren easily complimented, pushing himself up to stand straight. He leaned in to kiss your blushing cheek as you muttered a quiet ‘thank you’, and he pulled the door handle of the sleek black car, ushering you inside. He slammed it closed after you had positioned yourself comfortably, giving the driver a soft greeting as Eren circled around the back, getting in on the opposite side. The directions were already plugged into the driver’s GPS, and it took less than twenty minutes to get to the restaurant in question.
This gave you enough time to take in Eren’s appearance, and damn if you wouldn’t have allowed yourself to do so, the sight practically mouth watering. His hair hung low in a messy bun, a few complementary strands hanging out to frame his sharp jawline. His torso was adorned in a sheer white long sleeve button up, a small portion of his chest revealed as he had left the top buttons alone, chains hanging against his collarbones, silver in color this time. Black slacks that tightened around his thighs and calves had you biting your lip in appreciation, his legs spread as he took up space in the backseat.
“Staring isn’t very polite,” he had leaned in, taking notice of your devouring gaze.
“Stop dressing like a whore and maybe I won’t stare,” you teased back, chuckling quietly when he swatted your exposed thigh lightly. He kept his hand there for the rest of the drive, enjoying the comfortable silence as the quiet hum of the radio filled in the gaps.
When the Uber had slowed to a stop outside of the fancy restaurant Eren had insisted taking you to, he swung the door open before you had a chance to reach for the handle on your side. He raced to the other side of the car, pulling open the door and extending his hand out for you to grasp onto. You circled your fingers around his palm, and he tightened his grasp as you swung your legs over the flooring, and stood before him. The two of you thanked the driver, and he sped away shortly after. Hand still locked in with yours, Eren led the way inside the opened doors of the restaurant. Inside, a hostess wearing a very classy black uniform greeted the two of you.
“Reservation for Eren,” he spoke smoothly, and your eyes widened in surprise, expecting to have sat and waited for at least a half an hour before you had been seated.
“Right this way,” she smiled politely, two menus in her hands as she welcomed you into the dining area. You followed behind Eren, realizing that this place must’ve been a lot more expensive than you originally had gauged. All the guests appeared in their very best formal attire, and the chatter was soft as the beautiful notes of a piano resounded throughout the space. While you couldn’t pinpoint exactly where the music was coming from, you had a strong feeling that there was a physical player somewhere in the midst, it sounded so clear and professional. When the hostess had sat you down in a booth secluded against the furthest set wall, she smiled politely once more and informed you that the waiter would be with you soon.
“Eren,” you hissed as you sat opposite of his smirking form. “This place is stupid fancy!”
“Don’t worry about it,” he waved easily. “I got it, I promise.”
“How are you able to afford this? I’ve got a little bit of money and even I couldn’t go some place this nice,” you questioned, feeling a small pang of guilt. He was going to go broke trying to treat you to a very nice, albeit expensive, meal.
“My dad is a doctor,” he shrugged, picking up the menu and eyeing over their drink selection. “He sends me money whenever I come around and help around his office.”
“Following in the family footsteps?” you tried at the conversation, realizing you virtually knew nothing about the boy in front of you.
“Nah, I’m more into the business side of things,” he smiled up at you then, showing off his pearly white teeth. “What about you? What are you majoring in?”
You spoke of your major, Eren carefully listening in of your passions and your goals for your future ahead. He was pleased to hear that you were ambitious, smiling as he was enamored by your speech. Not that he minded a single bit about your online job, but to hear that you had a legitimate career goal soothed his worries.
A finely dressed waiter greeted you shortly, introducing himself and taking the both of your orders in one go, and stole away the menus. The rest of the date flew by quickly, tipsy from your cocktails and full of giggles as the two of you got to know one another. Although Eren was already knowledgeable about a number of your likes and dislikes and personality quirks due to Instagram, you had the undisguisable pleasure of learning his right then and there.
“So,” you leaned your elbows onto the table, resting your chin atop of your closed fists. “Tell me, how many girls have you taken here before?”
“Not a single one,” he chuckled lowly, passing the black booklet encasing his credit card as the waiter stopped at the table. “This is actually my first time taking anyone out somewhere so fancy. Usually I just hang out at the more lowkey spots around campus.”
“I would’ve been totally okay with going somewhere like that instead,” you frowned, that same guilt flooding back to your stomach. Eren hadn’t even let you see the bill before he had given it away, so you were completely ignorant as far as how far the total rang up. “You really didn’t have to take me out to such an expensive place.”
He rolled his eyes playfully, smirking as he did so, “Had to take my favorite girl somewhere nice, show you off in that gorgeous dress of yours.”
You blushed, moving your fists to hold your cheeks to try and contain the heat, “Fine, but next time, I want to see one of these ‘lowkey spots’.”
“Next time, huh?” Eren mused cockily.
“Yes, I guess I had a really great time tonight, consider yourself honored,” you giggled half heartedly.
“Oh believe me, I do.”
Eren had walked you to the front door of your apartment like the gentleman he was. Really, he was just trying to procrastinate leaving you, not wanting the night to be over with quite yet. Luckily, you were on the exact same page as he stood awkwardly behind you while you unlocked your front door.
You turned, an eyebrow raised, “Well? Are you coming in or what?”
“Say less,” he sighed in relief, following your sauntering frame inside your apartment. He was initially impressed as you flicked the light switch on the wall up, illuminating your precious space. Very clean and organized, he felt a pang of jealousy, knowing his own dorm room was scattered with clothes and empty water bottles. If he had only seen what your living space looked like before you had straightened up, he might have felt better about himself.
“I have some róse in the fridge,” you offered, making your way to the kitchen. “Would you like a glass?”
“No lie, that’s literally my favorite wine,” Eren groaned. “How are you this perfect?”
You laughed loudly, grabbing two wine glasses from your cabinet, opening your fridge and retrieving the bottle. Filling the glasses generously, you left the bottle on your kitchen counter and turned around, Eren a lot closer than where you had left him a moment ago. You extended his cup, which he graciously took and sipped. You mirrored him, gulping down your own mouthful.
“Y’know,” he started, gazing around your kitchen space. “For all that talk of mimosas in your Instagram bio, I really expected there to be a lot more pictures of you drinking them.”
You chuckled once again, “Believe me, I have plenty of orange juice, vodka, and champagne here. We had such a classy dinner, I thought I’d try and match it with some wine. Besides, vodka brings out the worst in me.”
“Ah, lady in the streets, freak in the sheets,” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. You rolled your eyes, swatting his bicep harmlessly. “I get what you’re about at brunch with the girls.”
“If I had a nickel for every time Mikasa had to peel me and Sasha off the pavement after mimosas and scones, I’d be fucking rich,” you giggled once again, raising the glass to your lips.
“I’m really surprised we hadn’t met each other before last night, especially because Mikasa and I have been best friends since we were little,” Eren raised an eyebrow. “She’s basically my sister, and never once did she say anything about you, I only met Sasha because Connie’s attached to her hip and they share the same brain cell.”
“If it makes you feel better, I only knew Jean existed because we had a class together this semester,” you shrugged, purposefully leaving out the part where he consumed your content almost as much as Eren did.
“And of course me,” Eren smirked cheekily. “Because I’m your favorite viewer, like you said.”
“Don’t make me regret telling you that,” you pointed your glass towards him in a fake threat.
“It’s okay, you’re my favorite girl, so it evens itself out,” Eren placed his half drunk glass on the counter top, his gaze much more seductive. “Besides, you wore my necklace like I asked, I gotta tease you a little bit.”
“I wore pretty much everything you wanted me to,” you smirked, copying his actions and settling your own cup down.
“Did you now?” he took long strides to stand in front of you, toying with the necklace that he had laid claim over.
“I can show you, if you want to see,” you leaned up with full intentions of capturing his kiss.
“There’s nothing else I would rather do, pretty girl,” Eren cooed, licking his lips before meeting you in the middle. His arms circled around your waist, your hands wrapped around his shoulders as the pace started out slowly. Gentle was not what either of you wanted though, the desperation seeping in fast as his fingers explored your sides.
“Bedroom,” you gasped as he removed his lips and attached them to your jaw. He had no qualms of fucking you right out here in the kitchen, so he made no effort to move. Realizing you had to take the reins, you moved backwards from Eren, smirking as he groaned from the sudden distance. His eyes followed you predatorily as he began to chase after you, your back meeting the wooden paneling of your bedroom door. He attempted to recapture your mouth, but your hand was faster in turning the door knob, and you began to lead him back until your mattress met the backs of your knees.
“Want you to show me what you’re wearing under that dress,” Eren demanded, playing with the short hem that rested on your thighs.
You nodded, giving him the silent okay to take off the fabric encompassing your frame. You turned so your back faced him, moving your hair out of the way so he could unzip the back. His eyes followed as he fingered the silver zipper, agonizingly teasing himself as more and more was revealed to him. Seeing the straps of the black lace he had requested drunkenly the night before, his patience snapped as he pulled the metal piece down faster. You slid the tiny straps off your shoulders at the sweet feeling of release, and Eren’s dick was rock fucking solid as it pooled around your feet, you kicked the silky fabric to the side and faced him once more.
“You’re wearing everything I told you to,” he stated, drinking in the sight of your scantily clad body. “Good girl.”
You bit back an embarrassing moan at his praise, feeling the heat pool between your thighs. It came as such a shock to you to be so reactive to his words, and it came slamming into you that maybe you weren’t as vanilla as you had previously believed. You had a kink! It all made so much sense, why you felt such pride and arousal from complete strangers giving you their attention and compliments online. You yearned for it, craved the affections, and now that Eren stood in front of you, more than willing to shower you with pretty words, all the moisture in your mouth dried up. You wanted him so fucking bad.
Eren’s hands met the naked skin of your waist as his palms etched over your soft stomach. They met in the middle of your back, leaning your back onto the mattress as he climbed on top of you, a single hand coming up to work on discarding his button up. You rushed to help, pads of your fingers working the buttons open until he revealed his bare chest, his chains hanging above you. He worked his arms out quickly, tossing the fabric onto the floor. He brought his lips to yours, this kiss much more desperate and needy than the previous ones. His hands explored every inch of your body, the tops of your thighs to the swell of your breasts. He tugged on the soft lace at the top, slowly bringing the black fabric down to expose the complete fullness of your breasts. A sight familiar yet somehow new made Eren groan, the pads of his thumbs brushing against your pretty nipples, instantly hardening them.
You moaned lightly, throwing your head back and arching your back into his touch. How many times had Eren pictured you just like this?
“I fucked my fist so many fucking times thinking about you,” he confessed as he pressed slow open mouthed kisses to your collarbone. “You have no idea what your pictures did to me, no idea what you’re doing to me right now.”
He leaned his bottom half forward, pressing his thick clothed erection into the meat of your thigh. You let out a whimper, head foggy as his words made your pussy clench around nothing.
“You’re so fucking sexy,” he licked a stripe up your neck, leaving a wet saliva trail as he wrapped his lips around where he could feel your pulse the strongest. “My pretty girl.”
While Eren wanted to talk about what you did to him, all you could think about was what he was doing to you. The want and need that coursed through your veins was like a drug, you could feel him worming his way into your bloodstream, straight to the center of your heart and out to the warmest parts of your body. And you felt like an addict in that moment too, and every moment you would spend with Eren there after. You could feel his kisses as if he was underneath your skin, his entire body pressed against yours. So, so close, yet not close enough.
“Take off your pants,” you demanded shakily, placing your hands at the button of his slacks. He seemed to be on the same page of you yet again, and he followed his instructions without delay. He kicked out of the tight pants with ease, and you were more than pleased to see he had rid himself of his boxers too when you heard the thick slap of his cock meeting his stomach.
“Oh my god,” you breathed, eyes widened. “Eren, that’s not going to fit.”
“Don’t worry,” he soothed your hair back from your face, pressing a sweet kiss to the tip of your nose. “I’ll make sure you’re nice and wet for me.”
He started to move south, licking and giving attention to your right nipple as he did so. While the idea of him giving you thorough attention was erotic, you really wanted to please him for your first time together, unknown to you as Eren had thought the exact same thing, wanting to make you feel so good you’d come crawling back to him for more.
You pushed yourself up into a seating position, Eren’s eyes flickering in confusion as you stood up. This look didn’t last for long as you switched positions, pushing his torso onto the bed as you rested atop of him, feet placed firmly on the ground. His mouth hung open in disbelief as you began to return his assault on his neck, sucking and kissing and even biting along the columns. He let out a shaky groan, unable to hold it back as your hands traveled down his chest to his abdomen, feeling over the muscles there.
“What’re you doing, princess?” Eren questioned teasingly, not trying to get his hopes up on what your plan seemed to be.
“Wanna’ make you feel good,” your eyes flickered up to meet the dark green of his eyes, watching as his pupils expanded as the realization hit him like a brick.
“Fuck, okay,” Eren subconsciously widened his thighs then, bringing himself up to lean on his elbows as your kisses followed shortly behind the trail of your fingers.
Your mouth met the defined muscle of his stomach, and your eyes drifted up to catch Eren’s reaction as you neared closer to his aching cock. His eyes were hardened on you, brows knitted together, he almost looked angry. You kitten licked above his navel, and knew the anger was superficial as he threw his head back, letting out a quiet groan. You leaned your body in closer, pushing your exposed chest against his length. He whipped his head forward again at the contact, his lips opened as he inhaled shaky breaths.
Part of you had kind of wanted to hear Eren beg for your mouth, but the thought had quickly left your head as he entangled his fingers into the back of your scalp, massaging gently as he did so. Without a moment of hesitation, you lowered your face so you were eye to eye with his thick shaft. Honestly, you really hadn’t expected Eren to be this big. You had caught a glimpse of his half erect member tenting in his pants the night before, but as it stood to full attention, you were very much intimidated by the sheer size. You gulped, putting on a brace face as you continued on.
The sound of Eren’s groans growing louder as you licked a bold stripe from the bottom of his base to the tip of his head had stirred your cunt deeply. You were on your knees now, feet tucked up under you when you felt the wet patch of your panties touch the back of your heels. You licked a few more times, your right hand trailing down from his stomach to grip him more upright. You pulled all the saliva in your mouth onto your tongue, and wrapped your lips around his tip while your hand secured a purposeful grip at his base. You started slow, only sucking in your cheeks and moving your tongue along the underside of his head, pumping him at the same pace. You could feel beads of spit meet your knuckles, circling your tongue around the entirety of his fat mushroom tip. You smoothly licked along his slit, collecting his gushing precum and tasting the salty liquid.
Meanwhile as you had just started your worship of his cock, Eren was watching you in disbelief as your eyelashes fluttered along your cheeks, mouth prepping yourself to take in his full length. He had pulled himself into a sitting position now to provide you the best angle he could. He was in complete awe, furrowing eyebrows and his mouth hanging open, he knew in that moment there was absolutely no point of return. He would follow you from here on out, whether it be online or in reality, wherever you would go. Soulmates, he reminded himself while he collected your hair into his fist and away from your mouth. You were his fucking soulmate.
You pressed your knees upward, eyes opening. Eren’s pupils were blown out, his breathing irregular, and you wanted to watch him completely unfold as you angled your head to drop lower onto his shaft, hand working just a little faster.
“Fuck —“ he stuttered, eyes blazing into yours. “That’s it, take all of me, you’re such a good girl.”
You moaned lightly at his praise once again, and Eren’s cock hit the back of your throat. You pulled your lips up slowly, tongue caressing the underside of his member the entire time, and quickly brought your unoccupied hand into a fist. This was the first time you would be trying out this trick, reading it in a magazine since your gag reflex was very strong and this helped soothe the impulse. Eren was not prepared in the slightest as you removed the hand gripping him, letting his dick fall forward a bit more. You took a deep breathe through your nose, spit coating his entire cock now, and pushed your mouth fast back down his shaft.
Eren let out a strangled gasp when your nose brushed against his pelvis, “Holy fucking — fuck. Shit, yeah, just like that. You look so fucking pretty right now.”
Tears were threatening the spill over your lash line and you bobbed your head furiously, taking in as much as you could before you gagged. You stared up at him the entire time, watching his face screw together as you lapped and sucked his cock. Your jaw was aching already from his size, minding your teeth placement as you quickened your pace. You returned your hand to wrap and pump whatever your mouth wasn’t able to reach as you set yourself into a more comfortable pattern. Your other hand cupped his balls, swirling them softly in your palms.
Eren’s fingers yanked you back, his dick falling out of your lips in a soft pop, as you looked up in confusion, “Gonna’ stop you there baby, gonna’ make me cum.”
His hand in your hair guided you back up to his lips, and Eren could taste himself as his tongue pushed through your swollen mouth to enter yours. You moaned into the kiss, so sloppy and messy, you took no notice of Eren’s hands wiping away the leftover dribble on your chin. He yanked you back, a bit rougher this time, and you panted, rubbing your thighs together at the force. He eyed you up, your beautiful tits still on display, the fabric of your lace bra folded underneath them.
“Get naked for me, princess,” he cooed, untangling his fingers from your scalp. You did as you were told, practically ripping the lace set off your body as you soon stood stark naked in front of Eren. He pushed his legs up, joining you. You felt very small then as he towered above you, playing with the tips of your hair, he guided you around until you were forced to lay yourself flat on your back on the mattress once again.
Eren caressed your shins as he stood tall in front of you, never breaking eye contact. You could still see the glistening of your saliva on his cock, and heat continued to pool in between your thighs in anticipation of his next move.
“Look at you,” he whispered, wrapping his fingers on the tops of your bent knees, legs closed together. “So pretty, it almost hurts to look at you.”
His darkened eyes shot down, drinking you all in before settling on your closed legs. With his hands, he gently forced them to part, and he let out a quiet moan at the sight in front of him. Dripping in arousal, almost sparkling and shining like the gem you were, your pussy spread open for him, begging for his attention. His gaze darted up back to your face, trying not to get too carried away as he admired your beautiful body.
Eren let out a dark chuckle, stroking his hands to the meat of your thighs, “You have no idea the things I have planned for us, princess.”
You whimpered, unable to voice a single word. His right hand moved towards your center, and you gasped sharply as he gently grazed your folds with the lightest of touches. His thumb landed a hair above your clit, and you squirmed, desperate now. He circled so slowly on your pearl, gazing on with an inflated ego. Eren wanted you to beg for him, to tell you all about those ideas he had going on in his head while he fucked his fingers into you.
He decided to go easy on you though, you had plenty of time ahead of you to learn exactly what he wanted when it came to the bedroom, he cooed, “I’m gonna’ show you off, just like you deserve. Gonna’ buy you pretty things, treat you like the fucking princess you are — gonna’ be my pretty girl.”
“Please, Eren,” you whimpered, attempting to push your pelvis into his hand, failing miserably as his other one gripped your thigh in place. “I need you.”
“Tell me exactly what you need, baby,” Eren smirked.
“Everything,” you breathed out. “I want you to keep calling me pretty, wan’ you to fuck me.”
“We’ll get to that part soon,” he paused, lowering his head to your inner thigh, getting to his knees on the floor. “Just need to make you feel good first, pretty girl.”
Eren licked a bold stripe up your pussy as you mewled, feeling a shred of relief as the tip of his tongue circled your clit. You felt a bead of saliva, probably mixed in with your own arousal, travel down the seam of your ass. Eren was starving, and you tasted so delicious, a sweet tart flavor exploding across his taste buds. He flattened his tongue, and looked up to watch your gorgeous face as his lips engulfed your clit.
You threw your head back, eyes rolling into the back of your skull as you attached your hands to your breasts, pulling and tugging on your nipples. He positioned his hands to the back of your thighs then, somehow managing to spread you open even more. The sounds he made in between your folds were wet and sloppy, and he rubbed small circles with the pads of his thumbs into the creases where your legs met your ass.
He never broke away from your face, watching everything unfold before him. Now that you were free from his solidifying grip, your hips were rolling. He watched your ribs expand and fall as you moaned unabashedly, rubbing your cunt into his mouth. Eren had never seen a more beautiful sight, and suddenly, it wasn’t enough to satisfy him. His right hand itched closer to your opening, and you trembled at the prodding of his index fingers. His tongue flopped around sloppily, slurping your bud in between his lips as he entered you slowly, cock pulsing at the feeling of your slick velvety walls greeting his finger.
Here he was, on his knees before you, eyes heavy and swirling because of you. You arched your back as he pumped the single digit in you slowly at first. He felt the tight clench of your walls as his tongue flicked at a certain angle, pleased that he had discovered very quickly how he was going to get you to cum. Eren was impatient, and as much as he wanted to stay between the heat of your thighs for hours if you’d let him, he really needed that orgasm from you. The tip of his pointer finger left you briefly, and you whimpered at the sudden loss, quickly becoming breathless and he slammed it right back in alongside his middle finger. They curled inside of you, brushing right against the soft spongy wall that was your g-spot. You were gushing for him, the sloppy noises of his assaults resounding around the bedroom.
“Fuck, fuck,” you panted, feeling your breasts bounce as he fucked his fingers into you at an alarming pace, tongue following the pattern eagerly. “Oh my god, I’m so close, Eren, I’m gonna’ cum.”
He pulled his mouth back momentarily, voice husky and pleading as he told you, “Cum for me, baby.”
You slammed your hips down onto his knuckles, feeling the underside of his palm and your slick. He had been reduced to curling and angling his fingers inside of you, watching in adoration and awe as you bounced yourself on his fingers, rubbing your pretty pussy against his mouth. Eren had just become a bystander at this point, he was pretty much forced to be stilled as you used his mouth and hands so greedily, feeling an unfamiliar swell in your cunt.
And when your back arched, and your walls clenched so fiercely tight around his drenched fingers, Eren found his forever love. He’d do anything, be anyone, whatever the fuck that was asked of him, to see this sight for the rest of his life. You were vibrating, legs shaking so strongly, Eren had to mentally catch up when he felt a gush of hot liquid soak him. He shifted his gaze down in shock, and holy shit, you were squirting.
You swore you had never orgasmed like this before, it was more than stars you were seeing behind your closed eyelids. It was pure black, absolute nothingness as your brain short circuited. It was like your pussy was taking a deep breath, because when the onset of contractions hit you, you thought you were going to pass out. And poor Eren, who stared dumbly in front of him at how intense your muscles were flexing, was already so deeply in love with you and was confessing his eternal devotion to you in his mind.
When your cunt had settled down, and your hips relented in pushing yourself against Eren’s face and hands, you let out a low moan as he slid his drenched fingers out of you. He stared at his hand, shining with your cum, and flickered his gaze up to you.
“I’m going to fucking marry you,” he growled. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever fucking seen.”
You let out an exhausted laugh, “Would you believe me if I told you that was the first time I’ve ever squirted?”
“I’m buying you a goddamn ring tomorrow,” he placed a kiss to your inner thigh, moving his body up to hover above you. Eren’s hands wrapped around your thighs once again, propping your knees to your chest. He saw the slight trace of fear in your eyes, and he paused, “You okay?”
“It’s just,” you gazed at the point between your bodies. “Are you gonna’ fit?”
Eren leaned forward, feeling slightly relieved, his face still dripping in your essence, and he placed a sweet, romantic kiss to your lips, pulling away to murmur, “I’ll be gentle, I promise.”
You nodded your head, letting the worry roll off your body as one of his hands caressed your cheek, never breaking eye contact with him. The other hand reached in between your centers, grabbing his throbbing cock and sliding himself along your pussy. He was soon coated in your juices, and both of you were letting out quiet moans. As he sunk his tip into your entrance though, you were gasping loudly.
Eren really had wanted to be gentle, he had no intentions whatsoever of hurting you, but he had realized very quickly that you were going to be the one to set the pace in the relationship. Because as soon as half of his shaft was anchored in your heat, your hips slammed upwards to engulf his entire length. He bit back a yelp at the suddenness, fisting the sheets by your waist in a tight grip. If Eren didn’t feel like a virgin before, he sure as fuck did now.
You didn’t realize just how prepped that orgasm had made you, or how sensitive. What you had believed would’ve been pain was insurmountable and mind blowing pleasure, and you smiled in pride as Eren’s jaw fell open. You felt his hands fall from the underside of your thighs, and you took the opportunity, leveraging your legs, and thrusted upwards. Eren bottomed out inside of you, and you winced slightly at the mild pain of his tip meeting the wall of your cervix, the stretch of your walls accommodating him as you fluttered around him.
“You’re so big, Eren,” you moaned out, moving your hands to grasp his flexing biceps. “‘Feels so good.”
Eren was fighting an internal war — go as slow as physically possible as to not bust in your heavenly pussy in three strokes, or give you the best two minutes of your fucking life. Because it was absolutely all way too much, your gorgeous face, your soaked core, the way you gripped his cock so tightly. You were a vixen, Eren’s personal vices wrapped up in one human body. He couldn’t help but take notice of how perfectly your bodies fit together, your pussy made for him.
“Eren, move, please,” you whined, attempting to squirm your hips. He shot a hand down to your hip, stilling you as he gave you a warning glare.
“I’m trying really hard not to cum inside of you right now,” Eren groaned, finally moving his hips. “You’re so fucking tight, baby. Making it real hard for me right now.”
Little was Eren aware of your pussy still on edge from the mind blowing power of your first orgasm, and you mouth lolled open as he slowly fucked you. If you were to touch your clit, or have any type of pressure there right now, it would be over for you as well. You’d have all the time in the future to have long, drawn out sex with Eren, but the two of you were just way too turned on and aroused by each other to have anything but heavy and fast sex. With a slight hesitation on your end, also not wanting to cum so quickly around his length, you rocked your hips into his fastening pace.
Eren chose the latter of his two options then, feeling the ridges of your pussy pulse and flutter around his cock. He pulled all the way back, tip daring to fall out of your little hole, and he flung himself right back in to the hilt. He repeated this a few times, and you were trying your best to hold back screams. Eren was drooling at the sight of your pretty pink pussy taking him, sloppy and messy from his saliva and your cum. He brought his attention to your bouncing breasts, molding one into his palm, rolling the nipple in the center.
Eren’s thrusts quickened dramatically, and he knew that your warning from the previous night had been true. You were screaming, calling out his name and several swears and ‘oh my god’s. This only encouraged him more, ego pretty much stroking his own cock as he plunged into you at a dangerous pace. He knew he was going to fast approach his orgasm, but Eren wasn’t stupid either. He could feel the clench tightening around him as he fucked right into that pretty spot inside of you, the way your breathing changed after a few seconds of that. Eren would become your number one expert, knowing every tell tale sign of your body, and what you were feeling. From one orgasm, he knew how your breathing changed, and Eren was determined to take you to those heights again.
Keeping the flick of his hips at the slamming pace he was at, he brought his thumb to your swollen clit. At the impact, your eyes screwed closed over the overwhelming pleasure. You felt a twinge of pain, just so sensitive from how strong you came before, but didn’t stop Eren as he rolled your pearl in fast circles, putting delicate pressure on the very top. It took maybe three strokes of his cock and a slight unsteady irregularity in his pattern to get you right where he had wanted you — desperate to cum alongside him.
“I’m so close, Eren,” you moaned out, lower body buzzing in anticipation.
“I want you to cum on my cock,” he demanded, a shocked moan crawling out of his throat at the first clench. “Oh, fuck, good girl.”
You spasmed under him, eyebrows shooting up in a furrow as you arched your back uncontrollably, the wave of your second orgasm slamming into you like a train. You could hear the squelching of Eren fucking your pussy as you contracted around him, or as he tried to. It was pure ecstasy, a feeling of wholeness filling you entirely. Half way through your orgasm, he grabbed the base of his cock, sliding out of you as he pumped himself fast above you. You held your legs open, breathing heavily as Eren watched your muscles contract in astonishment. He had never made a girl cum like this before, so hard and so visually. Your beautiful face, eyes encouraging him to cum, was all he needed. His dick was covered in you, his fingers sticky and soaked. It was all so fucking sloppy, and the thought and sight of it all caught up to him.
You felt the hot ropes of cum hit your belly, moaning at the sight. Eren was fucking his fist, cock thrusting in his grip like he had been doing in your pussy. His head hung forward, eyes drinking in the entirety of you. He shot his load on your lower half, stroking himself down after a couple of minutes, breathing heavily.
He eyed the box of tissues on your nightstand, and grabbed a few, languidly wiping his cum off of your abdomen as the two of you tried to catch your breath, or bring a ration thought back into your minds.
“We just had porn star sex,” you giggled tiredly.
“Oh yes we fucking did,” Eren smirked. “Not to like hype you up or whatever, that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”
Your pride and ego swelled as he finished wiping up his cum, discarding the tissues in the bin on the floor. He hadn’t given you much time to respond, asking where the bathroom was so he could grab a rag to clean you up. You were humbled, affection rising in your chest when he returned to take care of your exhausted body. No one had bothered with aftercare before, and right then and there, you knew Eren was a keeper.
“Thank you,” you yawned out, stretching your legs in front of you. Eren hung around a little awkwardly, not sure of what to do. “You can spend the night, if you want to.”
He raised his eyebrows, a smile crossing his face, “Do you want me to?”
You rolled your eyes, pushing yourself back until your head met your pillows and lifted your comforter, gesturing for Eren to join you. And that he did, pouncing on the offer and sliding into bed with you, not hesitating for a second to wrap his muscular arms around your waist. He kissed you gently, pulling away to place his lips on your shoulder as you began to drift off.
You awoke alone in your bed, the bright rays of the sun hazy as you blinked the sleep away. You could smell and hear the sizzling of breakfast in your kitchen, your bedroom door swung wide open. You threw your legs over the mattress, stealing a quick look at yourself in the mirror. You cringed at the mascara stains under your eyes, taking a tissue and wiping underneath your lashes to look presentable enough for the man looming in your kitchen. You discarded the tissue, and slid on a pair of fresh panties and Eren’s enormous sweatshirt you had yet to return, and padded your bare feet across your floor to join him.
Eren’s back faced you, his form only clad in a pair of boxers as he focused his complete attention to the frying pans in front of him. You smirked, leaning against your counter, placing your chin in your open hands.
“Good morning, Chef Eren,” you teased, catching him off guard as he jumped a bit.
He turned to face you, hair a complete mess as a boyish smile graced his face, “Morning, princess. I hope you don’t mind my mess.”
“It smells amazing, so I guess I can figure out a way to forgive you,” you sighed dramatically. “Only if there’s coffee involved, though.”
“Way ahead of you,” he moved his legs over to your coffee machine, a pair of steaming muga awaiting his hand. He grabbed one, a plain white mug that matched the rest of your kitchen set, and set it on the counter in front of you.
“If you’re trying to earn extra credit, it’s working,” you said, dumbstriken.
“Gotta’ show you I’m boyfriend material,” he wagged his eyebrows, turning back to the frying pan before cutting the heat off. “I couldn’t find your plates, though.”
“Cabinet above the sink,” you directed, pulling out a stool from underneath your kitchen bar. “Forks and stuff are in the drawer by the refrigerator.”
Eren nodded, collecting two plates and the necessary utensils from their designated areas. The sight of eggs and bacon made your mouth water, and you were about to get a key made specifically for Eren to waltz in every morning to cook you this glorious meal every single day. You thanked him as he set your plate in front of you, and you dug in.
“Eren, it’s so good,” you complimented after chewing. “You really know how to treat a girl.”
He simply laughed, and the two of you fell into a pleasant conversation. And then by the time mid day rolled around, the two of you had talked all about where you’d be spending the evening. The night had ended just like the one before in mind blowing sex, the morning after repeating itself, and again, and again.
A month later, you had updated your Instagram bio. ‘Connoisseur of mimosas, rock and roll, and Eren Jaeger’. And when it had come time to update your OnlyFans content, you were more than happy to have your own personal photographer to use at your discretion. Just as long as you continued to wear his necklace, Eren would take as many pictures as you needed him to, knowing you’d end up in each other’s beds at the end of the session anyways. And he’d continue to follow you, this time though, you’d gladly send him his favorite pictures for free.
LACHERI © 2021: all writing content belongs to LACHERI. I do not allow reposts or translations. this is my only account.
#eren x reader#eren jaeger#eren yaeger#attack on titan#shingeki no kyoujin eren#eren smut#eren fluff#eren fanfiction#attack on titan eren#aot eren#eren jeager x reader#eren jaeger x y/n#eren yaeger x reader#eren fic
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Ateez reacting to the other members not liking their s/o (part 2)
❦ Genre: Fluff, a tiny bit of angst.
❦ Pairing: OT8.
❦ Word count: 3K7.
❦ Requested: Omg yes lol, thank you! 🦋
❦ A/N Note: ⚠️Since I took an eternity to post it, I advice to read the first part again (or for the first time)! Thank you for liking the 1st one tho! hehe
HONGJOONG
It's been 3 weeks since your altercation with the boys.
You didn't talk to your boyfriend yet and he was really sad. He was trying to call you every day at least once, but your phone rang one time and the voicemail welcomed him.
You were the only one he wanted to talk with right now. And he wanted to fix this situation as well.
"Hyung, do you want to play with-" started San, handing the console remote to him.
Still angry at them, he didn't bother to glance or reply neither. He just slammed the door's room loudly.
"Us." Finished San.
"He's still mad." Declared Yeosang.
"Congrats Genius. You found this deduction by yourself?" Asked San, ironically.
Yeosang ignored his comment and took his phone. "Where's Y/N working already?"
"I don't know. In a café or something."
"Where?"
"Itaewon."
"Okay then put some pants on."
"What? Why?"
"Wow Sherlock." Replied Yeosang in the same tone San used later. "We are going to apologize to her. Hongjoong was obviously happier with her."
"And he didn't have this serial killer look."
"Let's go." Claimed Yeosang.
The 2 boys entered at least 16 cafés to find where you were working. They were about to give up when San spotted you, cleaning a table under the terrace.
"Y/N! Y/N!" Yelled San, running crazily.
You thought that you were dreaming when you saw these 2. It almost felt unreal since they never gave you attention.
"What is happening? Are you guys, okay?"
"We are really sorry Y/N." They both bowed respectfully.
"We had wrong assumptions about you. We are really ashamed of ourselves." Continued Yeosang. "You were not taking advantage of Hongjoong Hyung. But in fact, you made him happier."
You felt bad to know that your boyfriend was sad because of this situation.
"It's okay..." you smiled nervously. "I guess that you wanted to protect him."
Yeosang and San nodded. They were really sorry.
"Lift your head boys. We are fine now."
"There's a last person you need to be fine with." Added Yeosang.
San and you stared at him weirdly. He pointed at the other side of the street, where Hongjoong was smiling at the warming scene.
San, completely unaware of this plan, whispered to Yeosang: "how did you planned this? And when?"
"You know how long you take to put a pant on?"
"Are you a genius?"
"Why are you surprised?" Replied Yeosang.
While they were talking about their strategy, you asked your manager, 15 minutes break and ran to your boyfriend. His arms were open, waiting for you.
"Mission accomplished." Declared San happily.
"Congrats Partner."
SEONGHWA
Just when the rest of the group entered the room, Seonghwa was waiting for them with a wide smile.
"What is going on? And why are you smiling like that?" Asked Wooyoung.
"Yeah. It's scary." Whispered San.
"Well boys..." he started. "We have a guest tonight."
"A guest? Your mom?" Hongjoong freaked out a bit.
Judging that it was the best moment to appear, you came out of the kitchen, an awkward smile on your face.
"Hello." You waved nervously.
You saw all of their faces darkened at the moment they saw you.
"What is she doing here Hyung?" Asked Jongho.
"She came here to talk and to arrange the situation." Replied Seonghwa.
"But who said that we wanted to talk to her?" Sighed Mingi.
"Guys." You tried to interpose, but Seonghwa stopped you.
"Let's talk comfortably in the kitchen." He smiled.
Even if the boys were reticent, they walked one by one to the kitchen. All of them, taking an empty seat, except San who decided to seat on the counter.
Seonghwa and you sat at the end of the table like 2 serial killers waiting for the justice.
"I wanted to know why you hate Y/N so much." Started Seonghwa.
"I'm sorry if I did something bad." You apologized. "But I would appreciate if you were honest with me instead of being so cold."
"How are we supposed to act with you when we know you are just taking advantage of him?" Asked Hongjoong.
Seonghwa raised a brow, "taking advantage of me?"
"Yeah. She appeared right when we were rising in the charts and stuff like that."
You stared at Seonghwa, who was still looking at you. You both busted in laughter.
"They thought you were the one asking me out." Laughed Seonghwa.
All the boys were confused.
"I was the one insisting to date her. I was practically stalking her."
"Creep." You whispered.
"She had like no interest in me."
"Yeah. Zero. Nothing. Nada. Rien. Nieten. Que Tchi. Walou.*" You added.
"Hey."
"Sorry."
"So, you are telling us that we were wrong since-"
"The beginning."
"She was my prey. And I was the hunter." Smirked your boyfriend.
"Seems like we had a misunderstood." Admitted Hongjoong.
"Yeah. Seems like."
"Can you be friendly with Y/N now?"
They all nodded and apologized once again.
"Cool! Now should we goo at the restaurant?"
"Heck yeah! I could eat a whole bear!" Claimed Yunho.
"Babe, do you want to come?"
"Yeah sure." You finally accepted, not scared anymore to ruin the mood.
*Nada, Rien, Nieten, Que tchi, Walou: expression to say “nothing” in severals languages.
YUNHO
Your boyfriend was feeling down. He was working for his first k-dramas. he should be happy and in a good mood. But instead, he was simply acting well in front of the cameras and was almost depressed backstage.
It wasn't right and you didn't like this at all.
The rest of the members were trying to talk to him. In vain, he was simply ignoring them or spending most of the time at your apartment.
This behavior would not help to solve this situation.
Removing all of your bad thoughts, you planned a quick visit to the other members; especially Mingi and Wooyoung.
["What are you doing today babe?"] You sent a text to your boyfriend, praying that his schedule hasn't changed.
["I'm filming. My break is over in 10 minutes :(. Do you miss me?"] He replied.
["Always haha. Have fun filming too."]
Now that you were sure that Yunho won't interfere in your plan, you paid your taxi and get straight to the building. You decided to use the stairs so you wouldn't have more time to think of a strategy.
Just right when you entered the hallway, Wooyoung and Mingi were closing the door.
For a quick second, the thought of running away settled in your mind. But Yunho's health and spirit were the most important things right now.
"Hi." You greeted them.
"Hello?" Started Mingi. "Yunho isn't there, he's-"
"I came to talk with both of you actually." You said.
"Yunho explained what happened 2 weeks ago."
"Yeah sure." Growled Wooyoung.
"I think it would be easier for us to get along if you tell me what is going on. What did I do wrong?" You asked.
"We know you with another guy." Declared Mingi. "And you seemed close enough to hug for at least 2 long minutes."
"Listen Y/N, we just don't want Yunho to suffer so we didn't tell him yet that you were seeing someone else."
"Are you talking about this tall guy, with a lot of tattoos?" You raised a brow.
They both nodded, reminding exactly every detail.
"That's my cousin. He moved in Mexico. For his work. So yeah." You sighed.
"I hug my family."
Wooyoung and Mingi were looking at you dumbly.
"Well... what a useless situation." You admitted.
Wooyoung ran his hand through his hair and stepped forward you. "I guess you deserve apologies."
"Instead of this, can we make a deal?" You offered.
"Sure."
"Let's get along." You handed both of your hands to each of them."
"Deal." Mingi shook your hand, quickly followed by Wooyoung.
Before leaving, you asked one last thing.
["Guess who's going to have a dinner with us tomorrow?"]
Yunho instantly called you, wondering how you managed to take a selfie with his friends.
["I'm so happy that I could combust right now! How you managed to do this!"]
["Anything for my man!"]
YEOSANG
"Yeosang wait!" You followed him in the hallway.
"I want to be alone for now." He replied, opening an empty backstage room.
"But you just can't run away like that!" You held his wrist.
"Y/N."
"We can fix this. Or just at least try to live without them hating me."
"I do not think they are ready to do that."
Yeosang gently pushed your hand and entered the dark room.
Before you could say anything else, he slammed the door in front of you. A quick and loud noise made you realize that he locked the door.
Knowing that being loud or begging your boyfriend to open wouldn't help, you decided to fix the problem by yourself.
"Okay! If you prefer to stay here and hide, then FINE! I'll handle it!"
You gave a quick kick on the door and walked back on your previous step. "What a baby..."
Without knocking, you opened ATEEZ' backstage room. They were all gathered around Hongjoong, probably claiming how much they hate you.
"I have many things to say guys." You started. "And one by one."
They were all looking at you as an alien who just came from another planet.
"I'll start by you Kim Hongjoong! As a leader, you should be comprehensive and try to fix things which could hurt any members!"
"Y-Y/N."
"And you Park Seonghwa! Yeosang told me that you were the nicest here, but I only saw a rude and cold guy! I'm really disappointed."
"Please-"
"Yunho and Mingi." You sighed, putting your hands over your hips.
"You were the first one who were nice with me. But something made you change your mind and you both kept hurting my feeling. Especially when you leave every room I enter." You said angrily.
Both of them bent their head, feeling guilty. "Oh, and this trio!" You pointed at San, Wooyoung and Jongho. "I would appreciate if you could stop looking at me like you are looking at a trash. Surprise! It hurts my feelings too! Because YEAH! I have feelings!" You almost screamed.
"So, tell me NOW, why you hate me so DAMN MUCH?!"
A long silence settled after your monologue. The boys were looking at each other, waiting for one to talk.
Hongjoong as a good leader, stepped forward. "We are sorry Y/N."
They all bowed to you.
You had no idea that your words would affect them that much.
"Ah... Huh-Okay." You scratched your arm.
"After Yeosang quick departure, we talked a bit about our behavior, and we concluded that we have zero reason to dislike you." Explained Hongjoong. "Let's trying to get along." Said Hongjoong.
"For Yeosang." You accepted.
"It might be hard for us because you were really not into our heart." Added Seonghwa.
"Yeah, don't worry y'all made it clear."
"But if you are important to Yeosang, then you are important for us." He said, smiling warmly.
"Thank you. I truly appreciate that." You bowed back politely.
"Now we just need to get Yeosang out of the room."
SAN
Seongwa entered the kitchen. He was surprised to see San and Wooyoung actually sitting at the same table.
San was eating his cereal and Wooyoung was scrolling on his phone. It almost felt like a random and good day. Until Seonghwa asked:
"You are finally getting along again? It's a good thing!"
San sighed, "why should I get alone with this guy?"
"Oh no..."
"Just ignore me like you used to do. I'm fine with it." Said Wooyoung, rolling his eyes.
"Okay, I should have stayed quiet." Whispered Seonghwa.
"Exactly like him. He should have shut his mouth." Replied San, leaving the room, bowl in his hand.
"I said that to help you!" He shouted.
"Jung Wooyoung." Called Seonghwa seriously. "You should fix it."
"Me? Why? It's him which was dating this girl! And you weren't liking her too, right?"
"Yeah, but have you seen San these days? He's barely smiling or talking to us." He replied. "You need to fix this. And today."
"Today?! Hyung! Come on." Growled Wooyooung.
"Not my problem."
Honestly, this task wasn't helping Wooyoung to like you, but he needed to do or at least try something for his friend.
That's why, now, he was waiting at the restaurant next to your college.
You said that you would show up, but he wasn't sure about that.
Until, you sat, in front of him.
"Hello?" He greeted you.
"Hi."
"Okay... I'll be totally sincere and straightforward with you."
"As you always do."
Wooyoung was surprised by your attitude. But in a good way.
"I don't like you because I'm pretty sure you take advantage of my friend."
You sneered. "How many times do I need to tell you that I don't give- that I don't care about his career."
"What if he was an employee or a technician?" Asked Wooyoung.
"Do you date people for their image? I'm not like that. I don't date him because he's an idol. I just love him. For his personality, his kindness. Everything that made San, our San."
"You love him?" Said Wooyoung, surprised.
"Yeah, of course I do." I thought it wasn't serious at all yet."
"Well maybe if you tried to talk more and sooner with him or me, you'll know."
"If you us to get along, you should be nicer."
"And you, less rude."
Wooyoung rubbed his forehead. You were stubborn as him.
"How can we get along?"
"Are you free right now?"
"Huh, yeah?"
"Cool. Let's hanging out without beating each other." You offered.
"A-Are you sure it's a good idea?" He asked, not convinced.
"Well, San, always says that people get closer around-"
"A good meal." Finished Wooyoung.
"Cool then let me call the waiter." You paused. "But you pay."
"Argh... this woman." Sighed Wooyoung.
MINGI
Hongjoong sighed when he saw Mingi, eyes glued on his phone.
It's been 2 weeks and still no sign of you.
You declined all of his calls, ignored his messages even on social media and obviously you were not sleeping in your apartment anymore.
"Mingi, your view is going to be terrible if you don't leave this damn phone." Scolded Hongjoong.
The tall boy gave him a dark look. "My view would be fine if you've learned Y/N better. Instead of judging her."
Seonghwa growled next do the leader. "Here we go again."
Mingi rolled his eyes, still pissed by this behavior. "Yeah, here we go again." He repeated. "It will be like that until Y/N accept to talk to me again. Or just listen to me."
"Why does it matter so much?" Asked Seonghwa.
"Because she's the one. Why? I don't know. I just feel it. She's the only one I need."
Hongjoong and Seonghwa exchanged a quick, guilty glance.
"Y'all decided that she wasn't made for me because of a stupid "instinct". Mingi air quoted.
"We are trying to help you. We know how sensitive you are." Declared Hongjoong.
"Then why do you need to put me in this situation? You are the only ones who are hurting me right now." He finished, plopping angrily on the sofa.
The 2 boys remained quiet for a second, looking at each other.
Finally, Seonghwa asked: "Okay so how can we help you?"
Mingi smirked, when he finally heard those magical worlds. It was exactly what he wanted since these past weeks.
"Okay call everyone here." He ordered.
You were sadly applying your night cream on your face. Since your break-up with Mingi, your skin decided to be terrible dry and itchy. You were the worst.
Tired of this situation, you buried your face on your arms. You shivered a little when your forehead touched the cold surface.
"It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do. Hey baby I think I wanna marry you!"*
You didn't need to hear it twice to recognize Mingi's voice. Not believing that he did something like this, you rushed to the window.
At your big surprise, he wasn't alone. The other members were there too: Hongjoong was holding the phone and speaker, while the rest of the group was holding a sheet of paper saying, "Can you forgive us?"
But Yeosang was holding the quote mark in the wrong side.
"Song Mingi! Are you crazy!"
"Crazy of you!" The members gagged behind him.
"We all want to apologize for treating you this way." Claimed Yunho, louder than the music.
You were affected by this effort. They all realized that you were not a bad person.
"If you accept our apologies than come here so we can have a discussion." Declared Seonghwa, speaking for the whole group.
"Got it, I'm coming. Do y'all need snacks?"
They all yelled and shouted an incredible about of snacks' brands in only few seconds.
Mingi winked at you. Your kindness got them. And food too.
*Song reference: Marry You by Bruno Mars.
WOOYOUNG
Your roommate entered the library again. She couldn't help but to let out a quick sigh when she saw you: your head buried behind a ton of books, which didn't seem interesting.
"You didn't move since I left this morning." She sat in front of you.
"I need to pass this exam."
"You could have at least answered to your phone. I wanted to have a lunch with you."
"I forgot my phone." You shrugged.
"Did you really forget your phone?" She raised a brow. "Or you made sure to let it on your bed? To avoid texting Wooyoung?"
"Study is the only thing that keep me away from my problems." You sighed.
"You should confront your problems." Advised your roommate.
"I can't. Nobody can force someone to like them."
"It's not true. You can do it." She replied.
"Meg...." you rubbed your nose. "Even if I want to. I can't."
Your roommate opened her mouth to prove you the opposite, but finally she decided to stay quiet and open her books instead.
This silence lasted only 30 minutes before someone tapped your shoulders.
"Ye- Yunho?!" You freaked out.
"Hi." He scratched his head, embarrassed.
"Is everything okay? Wooyoung is sick? And how did you manage to find me?"
"I'll let you talk in peace. I have my science lesson anyway." Said Megan, burying her books in her bag, before leaving."
"See you later Y/N."
"Is everything okay?" You repeated.
"Yeah, don't worry. Wooyoung is fine."
You sighed in relief. "Fine but sad though. He's missing you."
"I do too but... I don't want to interfere with his career. I got it. It's important for you and the rest of the members as well." You claimed, sadly.
"It is. But we only thought about the group and our success." He added. "It's a complete selfish behavior."
"It's okay." You smiled nervously. "You wanted the best for the group."
"I can understand if you don't want to forgive us, but we are truly sorry."
"For Wooyoung, we should try to get along. And to find the right way to move on."
Yunho nodded, happy that you didn't plan a revenge.
"So... you are the one who decided to come here? So brave."
"Hm... honestly, we are all here except Wooyoung. But I'm the only one who succeeded to jump the gate.
"W-Who what?"
"If you hear security guard running here than we should run too."
"The heck-"
JONGHO
"I can't believe we hide ourselves for 3 hours now." You complained, shoving your hand in a pack of candies.
"What do you want to do? Confront them?"
You raised a brow, "yeah! We should."
"Come on Y/N, we don't even know why they don't like you."
"That's why we should open the door, enter the living-room and ask all of them."
Jongho sighed, "Y/N."
"Jongho."
A long eye-contact battle started between both of you. The one who is going to blink will be the winner.
"I won't give up." You said. "And I won't give up too."
Your eyes started to feel dry and itchy when a loud knock resonated in the whole room.
"Jongho, Y/N. Come in the living room please." Requested Yunho."
Jongho got out of the bed the first one, you simply followed him. The room was just next to the living-room, but it felt so long at the same time.
Your boyfriend gulped and your hands became moist.
"We are coming Hyung."
Jongho got out of the bed the first one, you simply followed him. The room was just next to the living-room, but it felt so long at the same time.
"Why do you want to talk about?" Asked Hongjoong, sitting next to the coffee table.
"You asked if we had a particular hate toward Y/N." Replied San. "And yeah, a bit."
"At least that's straightforward." You whispered. "Can I know why?"
"Well, you made Jongho cry just after 5 days of relationship."
The maknae facepalmed and blushed at the same time.
"I what? You cried?!" You looked at your boyfriend shocked.
"Yeah... it was our first argument. You were really really really mad, and I was so nervous! I was having a mental breakdown and it just happened." He explained.
"Only 5 days of relationship." Repeated Yeosang. "So how he would be after 2 years? Depressed?"
"Argh no! Of course not. And that's not my intention." You tried to justify yourself. "And an argument is normal for a couple..."
"Even after 5 days?"
"Seonghwa Hyung..." whispered Jongho.
"Yes, it is!" You raised your voice. "You'll understand when you'll get someone in your life."
"Y/N." Called Jongho.
"I really like Jongho. I don't want to hurt him." You started. "Yes, we have arguments, yes, we cry, yes we ghost each other for few hours or even days. BUT! We will always be going through it."
You held Jongho's hand in yours. "Right?" He nodded, completely agreeing with you.
"So... I know y'all won’t change your mind instantly, but I'm ready to wait that you give me a chance." You stood up.
"here are you going?" Asked Jongho. "Going back home. Maybe you should have a talk with them.
"Yeah. We need to gather and explain this situation." Acquiesced Jongho.
"See." You winked. "I'll come back tomorrow don't worry."
"Okay then."
"Thank you for having a talk with us." You thanked the boys. "I really hope you can see me as someone who only wants Jongho's happiness."
"We do." Smiled Wooyoung.
#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez reactions#ateez fluff#ateez x reader#ateez#ateez x atiny#ateez x you#ateez writings#ateez kpop#ateez cute
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