#not to mention they're literally planning to move out because of me and that fucking hurts so much
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DPXDC prompt. Dead on main. Someone who knows you better than you know yourself.
Perhaps Fentons are not able to recognize their child, despite the fact that they hunt him day after day. But for childhood friends, who saw each other in absolutely ridiculous situations that parents are never allowed to know about, just one sneeze and a bored sigh is enough to realize that this weirdo fighting next to him is the same guy with whom you tasted soap and then stood looking at each other from different corners and giggling.
And so, the dialogue after the battle with the creatures of Infinite Realms, to which Constantine had to invite a potential ally not yet approved by the League:
Phantom: Well, mom always said you were bad news...But a crime lord, seriously? What happened to your plans to become a literature teacher?
Red Hood: Hey! For Gotham, this is a very high-paying in-demand job. And I don't want to hear anything from Casper. At least I have my own business. What kind of part-time job do you have? Are you selling sheets to your buddies from this green goo?
Phantom: This is ectoplasm. And they're not my friends, and anyway…
Constantine: King Phantom, do you know Red Hood?
Phantom: Do I know him? Ha! This street rat was Splinter of my beginnings until my family moved out of Gotham.
Red Hood: Wait, wait a minute. Phah...Holy shit. I thought I was the best example of what it means to be a disappointment to a family, but you beat me here. Oh, man, only you...The ghost king who is the son of the ghost hunters? Seriously? Hahah! I thought your rebellious phase ended the moment you told your father that you wanted to be an astronaut and not inherit the family business.
Danny*groans and covers his face with his hands*: My life is over.
Red Hood: Literally~ No, of course I always knew that your parents' disregard for safety in the laboratory would someday kill someone, but I didn't really expect this? Like, wow…
Phantom: What makes you think it was an incident in the lab? I mean, there are so many possibilities around. It's ridiculous and…hah
Red Hood: Dude, look me straight in the face and tell me I'm wrong if you dare.
Phantom:…Fuck you, stupid bookworm.
Red Hood: Stubborn nerd.
Phantom: Red bucket!
Red Hood: Pale toadstool!
Nightwing: Um, can you guys please stop fighting?
Red Hood: What are you talking about? This is how we always communicate.
Phantom: Yeah! Well, in our defense, my sister always thought we both could use a therapist. Oh, man, he made me lose my train of thought. Where were we, J?
Red Hood: Since when are you able to think? And I complimented your new hair and skin color.
Phantom: Right, right… But, hey, not all of my parents' hypotheses really have a right to exist, and you know it! Hm, did I mention that you're built like a fridge and how does this leather jacket suit you?
Red Hood: I believe not. And who's talking about your parents' work? You were an airhead when you were alive too to be honest. And as I see it, not much has changed. Why the hell are you still starting a fight with puns? Stop telling your opponent your position. This is terribly stupid!
Phantom: Oh, please, these ghosts are definitely not a threat to me. What's wrong with having a little fun? The fact that you don't have weapons to handle something stronger than a blob ghost is your problem not mine, loser. But let's get back to our greetings.
Red Hood: Sure. Then listen here…
~~~~~
Nightwing: Jay, why didn't you say right away that you knew Phantom? We've wasted so much time wondering if it's worth summoning him, and you just stood there and said nothing.
Red Hood: Pfff…Because I didn't know that until today. He used to be human. And we haven't seen each other for a long time. So how was I to know that he would take such a ridiculous pseudonym?
Nightwing: Then why the hell didn't you feel worried about teasing this creature?
Red Hood: Why should I? It's just Danny.
~~~~
Tucker: Oh man, 84 murders, attempts to kill Joker and to much fights with Batman and Black Mask and…
Danny: Yeah, yeah. It's all very interesting, but it's not what I asked you to find. Get to the point, Tucker. What I will wear to our dinner tonight depends on this.
Tucker: Seriously? As far as I'm concerned, whether he's single or not is less important than all this shit. Aren't you afraid to show up at his house?
Danny: I'm invited. And for that matter, I'm Amity Park's former public enemy number one. Which one of us should be worried, hah? So he's not dating anyone, right? Don't try to distract me.
Tucker: Dude!
Danny: Ugh, in my experience, when he acts like he's lost his mind, he usually has good reasons for it. And if not, given some of the events of my alternative future, I have no right to judge him, so…
#dpxdc#dpxdc prompts#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc prompt#dcxdp#dead on main#dead on main ship#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt
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gonna throw up and cry i just tried saying hi to my roommate and compliment their shirt and they just brushed me off again. why do i even try
#vent sorry#like im sorry i cant help it that im at work for so long and its made me really depressed and i dont want to talk to anyone so i isolate#which apparently comes across as me ignoring them and being pretentious and now they all ignore me right back#not to mention they're literally planning to move out because of me and that fucking hurts so much#they were the ones who wanted me to move in in the first place and now they cant stand me i guess#feels like they just wanted me to move in out of pity and so they could feel better about themselves for 'getting me out of a bad situation#and now im miserable and miss my parents and live in a house where i irritate everyone just by existing#i cant talk to them or i annoy them. i cant hide or im being rude and cold. i cant win no matter what. this is hell#like im sorry i missed one of their birthdays because im so fucking tired and overworked and i have bad memory#and now theyre disappointed in me over that too even though they havent said anything i can tell#sorry for rambling. i dont expect anyone to actually read this i just had to get it out somewhere#im so sorry
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After You - N.JM
1/4 diary of the heartbreakers
summary: ➸ ♡ Na Jaemin had it easy. Loved by everybody, the man of everyone's dream. He's a perfect mix of a charmer and a player. Girls begged to be his, and he loved every part of it. Life used to be so fucking perfect for him. Then comes you. You're like an old book, ink fading, cover tearing, but he swears you're worth the read. Before you, life was easy. After you? He wasn't so sure.
"Break my heart, and you'll only find yourself inside."
GENRE: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mature themes
WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit sexual content, Language, Mental Illness, Drugs/Alcohol usage, Addiction, toxic!reader, fuckboy!Jaemin (but still a sweetheart)
WC: 19k (I got carried away, lol)
DISCLAIMER: This story is purely fanfiction. Only the names of the Idols are used, and does not reflect on them in real life. There's no way in any shape of form that they are like this in person, because I MADE IT UP. I don't personally know them. DO NOT STEAL / TRANSLATE / MODIFY. This is my work and I don't appreciate people stealing it. Thank you.
Enjoy reading! -ryo
//////////////////////
"Look who finally decides to show up," Jeno welcomed Jaemin with open arms, Haechan and Renjun following in pursuit.
"Come on, I just saw you guys about a week ago. Don't be dramatic." Jaemin loosened his tie, sat at the vacant seat beside Renjun.
"No Yeri today?" Haechan smirked, obviously mocking Jaemin.
"She has plans with her friends," Jaemin wants to shift the topic quickly, not wanting to be the center of attention for so long.
"Are you sure its not because she hates us?" Renjun looked at Jaemin with his brow raised.
"She hates everyone." Jaemin grabbed the flute glass in front of him as he saw the waiter come by with champagne.
"No offense, Jaemin, but I hate that her too." Haechan, eating the garlic bread. Jaemin rolled his eyes.
"Makes two of us." Jeno chimed in, drinking his champagne aswell. Jaemin didn't say anything, waiting for Renjun's addition to his girlfriend's hate train.
"All of us hate her, actually. Sorry man but your girl is literally the reincarnation of the devil." Renjun.
"You guys done? I know she isn't the best but she's still my girlfriend?" Jaemin, like the other times his friends tell him how horrible his girlfriend is, try to defend her even tho he knows that they're partly right.
"Yeah, we know. One of the mysteries even Sherlock Holmes can't fucking solve." Haechan chuckled. Jaemin let out a sigh and drank the champagne in one shot. He barely gets a break from Yeri, and when he does, his friends still mentions her name in every conversation they have.
"She disrespects everyone, literally went out with you just to show you off to her friends. I don't understand why you're still with her." Jeno rants, trying to make Jaemin understand. He doesn't mean to drag Yeri, but Jeno cannot understand how the likes of Jaemin, will go out with Yeri who treats him like shit.
"No shit, dude. Neither do I." Jaemin admitted, leaning back on his chair before dragging his hands through his hair.
"How about Karina? She's great, you went out with her a few times, right?" Haechan.
Jaemin, for the ninth time this night, rolled his eyes. "She moved to Paris."
"Joy? The girl you took to Haechan's birthday?" Renjun, pulling up a picture of Joy he searched on instagram, just to show to Jaemin.
"Engaged to Sungjae." Jeno answered that one, Sungjae being one of his acquiantances.
"Oh, I know this girl from Busan--"
"Can we not talk about my fucking love life?! Y'all are just stressing me out, God damn." Jaemin massaged his temples, just wanting a breather. Before he went here, he already had an argument with Yeri.
"Chill, man. Fine.. jeez. Just wanted you to know your options." Haechan looks away and shrugged his shoulders. To be fair, his intent was truly innocent. They just wanted their friend to live a happy life.
As per Jaemin's wish, they moved on and changed the topic to something else. After a few drinks, Jaemin started to let loose.
He wondered about a lot of things. One of which is on how he ended up here. Stuck in a relationship he doesn't really want anymore. Seeing his friends and how happy they are really hits something inside Jaemin. When will he find that? Will he even find that?
Just like the other nights Jaemin drinks himself to slumber, a few glasses in and he starts to think of something so dangerous yet so good. Something forbidden, something he would probably regret. He thinks of you.
Jaemin's greatest what if. You were like a fever dream, a memory he would cherish forever. No one can compare to the beauty hold. You were Jaemin's drug, so captivating, yet so vicious.
He wondered where you are. Are you doing fine? Are you happy?
Sometimes Jaemin hopes you still think of him. That his relevance in your life, although it was short, still lingers in your mind once in a while.
And the memories you and him had, even though it was temporary, Jaemin wishes it was enough for him to believe that you'll meet again.
Jaemin met a lot of pretty girls. All of them, actually. Yeri, despite her frowned upon attitude, was actually beautiful. That's what drove Jaemin to ask her out in the first place. He just wasn't aware of the other things that comes with it. No one can deny the beauty that Yeri holds, and even tho it contrasts his friends opinions, they know that Yeri is still one of the prettiest girl Jaemin had.
But was she the most gorgeous? No. Because there was you. They all fall behind, after you.
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
The first time he saw you was at the school's cafeteria. You're an art student which he could clearly tell from the messy pencil on your bun as you ate with a friend at the back of the canteen. He knew that friend, Jeonghan, because.. he might've slept with his sister. He still couldn't remember tho, he was stupidly drunk that time.
"Who's that with Jeonghan?" Jaemin asked, still his eyes not leaving your face. As corny as it sounds, everyone's faces blurred out when he saw you.
"That's Jiho's bestfriend? I think? Wait, isn't Jiho that one chick you banged last week?" Haechan, the resident insider was the one to answer. Jaemin mentally cursed himself. You're Jiho's bestfriend. Usually that doesn't matter to Jaemin but somehow he felt some sort of guilt into taking an interest with you. Inevitably, you'll know what happened with Jiho and Jaemin, and you'll definitely see Jaemin as this asshole who slept with your bestfriend.
"Everybody knows that he slept with her, dude." Jeno chimed in, smirking.
"More like, everybody heard." Renjun followed, which earned a hefty laugh from his group of friends. Usually, Jaemin would respond with a strong punch in the arm but he was still in a dilemma on how he should approach you without giving off an asshole vibe in him.
Jaemin came up with a plan. Not a good one, but still, a plan. He would casually pass the Arts building, specifically where you usually hang out which was at the Art studio at the top floor, (don't ask him how he found out-- he has his ways) and just ask you where the exit to the building is since he never really got around this part of the university.
His plan sounded good, and just to be assured, he asked Haechan. Which wasn't a very good choice but the way Haechan got around the girls in the university, he deserved some credit. In typical Lee Haechan way he responded, "That'd totally work, dude. I don't know how that would go wrong."
Well, Jaemin now know how it would go fucking wrong.
As the plan goes, he reaches the top floor of the building and walked towards the Art studio at 5pm, because according to his sources, you like to stay after class to do your project on the Art studio. Again, don't ask Jaemin how he got those information. Which is proven to be credible, because he did find you sketching on a canvas by yourself. He could hear a faint music playing on the studio as you sketch, which Jaemin could tell was a portrait of a lady.
He cleared his throat, as he opened the door. Just like in his script, he spoke,
"Hey, uh, excuse me? I've been finding the exit from this building and uhm, I just can't. Can you-- uhm," Okay, fine, Jaemin did fuck that one up. But how can he not, when you turned around so majestically with the golden sunray perfetcly hitting your face which gave Jaemin a full view of your beauty?
"Na Jaemin? What the hell are you doing here?" You stood up, walking towards the speaker and turned it off.
"You know me?" Jaemin asked a dumb question. Everybody knows who he is. He's a fucking famous-- wait, no, he's just famous for fucking. That's it.
"Jiho and all the other girls around this place can't stop talking about how big your dick is, so I'd like to think I'm familiar with you, yes." Sarcasm fit perfectly with you, Jaemin thought. Although, he did not expect you to be this harsh given your soft exterior, nonetheless, he still found you pretty.
"Uh, that's uhm-- not the point, I need to find the exit." Stick to the plan, stupid. Jaemin had thought.
What surprises him even more was your sudden burst of laughter. What's so funny? Embarassment started to fill Jaemin, finding the whole situation dumb and stupid. Why are you laughing at him? This is the first time Jaemin felt this. Usually, girls are all over him, why are you laughing at him like he's some stupid idiot?
"Do you realize that if you're trying to find the exit, you go down the building, not the top floor?" At that exact moment, Jaemin wanted to bury himself alive.
--
"Dude, I didn't think you would fumble this bad." Jeno couldn't hold his laughter after Jaemin told him what had occured in the Art studio. There was only Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin in the dorm today, Haechan was steering out of Jaemin's view eversince he received a threat from his friend, quote, 'I'm gonna burn your hair off your scalp, Lee Haechan'
"You just turned around and left? Are you serious?" Renjun was more like dumbfounded. He expected more from Jaemin, being infamous in their little friendgroup for being a lowkey manwhore. He could not believe Jaemin could act so-- foolish?
"I didn't know what to say or do, bro. This is Haechan's fault, fuck!" Jaemin looked like a prepubescent teen screaming into his pillow. A couple leg-flailing and he'd successfully portray a thirteen yearold boy.
"This one's on you. You know damn well Haechan could pull that shit off with his over confident ass. Whats with this girl anyways?" Jeno asked, with little to no care about whatever Jaemin answered. He already knew you were Jaemin's type.
"You know Jaemin and his thing for innocent girls, Jeno. Are you not with him for the last seven years?" Renjun stated, which Jeno just nodded and shrugged.
"But the way she shut you down, I wouldn't say she's too innocent." Jeno had the other two thinking. Yes, with your soft brown hair and cute features, especially your love for art, you look like the stereotypical good girl that captured Jaemin's eyes. But your encounter says otherwise. No good girl can resist Na Jaemin. Everybody knows that.
Na Jaemin, contrary to his friend's beliefs, is the recent most popular man in his school. All of them were, but every student that knows him, (which is everyone) Na Jaemin is number one in his little friendgroup. He's the perfect balance between a player and a charmer.
Nobody hated the guy, they all liked him. Had the title of Prom King for four consecutive years, and has a squeaky clean reputation. Oh, don't get him wrong tho, he's a manwhore, still. Its just that every girl he has been with doesn't have any bad thing to say about the guy. He's got a great dick and even better personality. Word got around that even guys wouldn't mind if he slept with their girlfriends. That's how loved Jaemin is around the campus. He has a way with words, that once Jaemin calls quits on a girl, that girl would even say "Thank you."
Jaemin likes to think he's just being nice, but Haechan calls him a professional manipulator and gaslighter. Which if you do see it in a technical way, Jaemin's sweet words does affect the way girls interpret his intentions. Because in all honesty, he's just fucking and ghosting. But with a couple of I'm sorry's or Sweetheart's or maybe even a little bit of 'You don't deserve a man like me,' Jaemin easily could bounce out everytime.
"Also, why have we not heard about her? I mean, a face like that? Its impossible that she hadn't shown Haechan's radar." Renjun stated. Its true, it does feel weird that none of them knew who you were, specially Haechan. He's quite literally the hot girl radar and you definitely qualified as one. Its rate that Haechan never made a move on you, or even talked to you.
"Maybe she's really weird or has like a third nipple." Jeno sounds genuine, which was even worse. Jaemin couldn't help but question how is this man his best friend.
"Can you not be a twelve year-old?" Jaemin, as he threw a cushion over Jeno's side.
"Anyways, let's go back to Jaemin being a stupid idiot,"
--
["You got it?"] Renjun's voice was heard through the phone.
"Yes, you bitch. Now once I get home, I expect my beer and chicken laid in my table perfectly, or I'm burning your book." Its almost 7pm and almost everyone had already left the campus but Jaemin. Renjun had asked him to fetch his book from a friend, because Jaemin is the only one staying in the campus this late. For the reason being, well, he had a little make out sesh after his last class with Jiho.
Jaemin wasn't intentionally doing it just to spite you, its just Jiho was a great kisser. And maybe to get information about you, just a little. But that did not happen because he did not have the chance to actually talk to her about you as his mouth was a little preoccupied.
As he walked through the hallway, a door suddenly opened, which revealed you, hair dishevelled and your shirt was wrinkled. He knew that posture too well, out of all people, he's the one most familiar of it. You just did the nasty with someone.
In the school grounds? Jaemin scoffs. He was about to approach you when another body also came out of the room.
No way. No fucking way! Jaemin's eyes went wild, his jaw slowly parts as he saw who it was. He quickly hides behind one of the lockers to avoid you seeing him, only peeking his head a bit to confirm what he just saw.
Nurse Suh. You're sleeping with the school nurse. Jaemin was utterly shocked, as he contemplated on what he should do next. You're definitely not the innocent and soft girl he thought you would be, you're so far from it. And as far as he knows, Nurse Suh has a girlfriend! And not to mention, it's illegal!
"Nurse Suh?!" The three of his friends couldn't believe it either. Jaemin just could not keep the information to himself. He knew he could trust his friends.
"I mean, yes he's hot but isn't he like 34?" Jeno questioned.
"Dumbass, he's only 27. Him and my older brother are friends." Haechan said, then quickly looking back at Jaemin.
"And she's what, 22? I don't see anything wrong here." Haechan shrugged. Of course, out of all of them, Haechan would find this situation fine. He had slept with a teacher before, and called it his 'great awakening'.
"He has a girlfriend, you fucking idiot." Renjun said, hitting Haechan in the back of the head.
"So? You gotta do what you gotta do, man. Honestly, if I was Nurse Suh, I would tap it too." Followed by a playful chuckle, Haechan got another slap in the back of the head, this time, from Jeno.
"Stop hitting me! I need to protect my braincells, I need to pass the test tomorrow, you assholes." Haechan whined, massaging his head.
"Wait, Haechan, did you not know her before?" It was Jaemin's turn to ask, genuinely curious on why Haechan never made a move on you.
Haechan is basically like Jaemin, but even more evil. Sure, they're both manwhores but Jaemin leaves nicely. As to Haechan, he would leave without saying a word and pretend to not know you the next day. While Jaemin would receive love letters, Haechan receives death threats and some hex put on him. Its not like he's bad in bed, because if he is, he wouldn't be able to get his dick wet as frequent as he is now. It's because Haechan does not care for people's feelings.
"I did, I know who she was." Haechan shrugged. All three of them looked at him.
"Why didn't you.. like... tell me about that?" Jaemin's voice was small, a bit shy with what he just said.
"Because It's kinda funny when you get turned down." Haechan had a smile on his face whilst he said it. Jeno shook his head and Renjun just scoffed.
"Please tell me you're joking." Renjun. The boy laughed even more louder while shaking his head and before he knows, a flying cushion came straight to his face. But it didn't stop Haechan from smiling like an idiot.
"You know what's ridiculous, Haechan? That fucking faded out starwars shirt, because I'm gonna make you eat it you fucker!--" Jaemin fought back, reaching out for his friend but Haechan quickly moved away from him
"I'm sorry, Jaeminnie-- but I did try to flirt with her but she's cold as ice, man. And you all know how persistent I am so when me, Lee Haechan, gave up on a girl, you know that girl's impossible. And I heard that she never dates, well, I guess now I know why." Haechan explained himself but Jaemin is still annoyed and pissed.
"So you just let your friend get his ass handed to him? You should've told Jaem, man." Jeno.
"Admit it, It's kinda funny when Jaemin gets rejected. I mean, it almost never happens. And the one time it did, we're not even there to witness it." Haechan keeps smiling, pissing off Jaemin more, but his mind is else where.
---
"I had to say, I'm surprised you called me twice this week. Am I finally cracking your fuckboy code, Na Jaemin?" Jiho had a smirk on her face when he approached Jaemin at the closed off audiotorium in the science building.
"Can you sit down first?" Jaemin scooted a bit and gave space for Jiho to sit down. He has a whole different plan today, and although inviting the girl in his usual makeout spot almost always leads up to them hooking up, this time Jaemin is persistent on asking Jiho about you.
"This is weird. Aren't you taking my skirt off?" Jiho hesitantly sat beside the boy, expecting a kiss but instead, Jaemin has his brows furrowed and seemed bothered
"What? No. Not now. I just want to ask you something." Jaemin turned his body facing Jiho.
"You're being weird." Jiho leaned away a bit, still confused about the whole situation.
"You know y/n?" Jaemin goes straight to the point. Jiho had a visible shock in her face. She never expected your name to pop out from anyone's mouth, and especially not Jaemin's.
"Yes? Why?" Slowing her words, she inspected Jaemin's features.
"Nothing. Why haven't I seen her before?" The question Jaemin is most interested about.
"She's never gonna be interested with you, or anyone. Leave her alone." Jiho suddenly stood up, turned around and walked away as fast as she can, but not as fast as Jaemin.
Before she could even leave the auditorium, Jaemin got a hold of her wrist. "Why are you this weird about her?"
"I know you think you can woo her because you're Na Jaemin and you're a fucking playboy or some shit, but I'm telling you, not even as your hook up buddy, she's worse than you. So I suggest, as your friend, stay. away. from y/n."
---
"This is totally not weird. Yeah sure, I mean, we're just following a random girl walking down the street. Totally not weird." Renjun for one was scammed into doing this. Jaemin asked him to go with him and go buy some pants in the mall for a promise for Haidilao afterwards. Ofcourse Renjun is gonna agree, because he would never pass a free hotpot.
What Jaemin failed to say is that he has a little side quest on his itenirary for today. For someone who's unbothered most of the time, Jaemin is going insane thinking about the mystery that is you. And Jiho's outburst absolutely did not help at all.
"We're not following her. We're just y'know... happens to be in the same way as her." Jaemin knew what he was saying was bullshit, and that Renjun would never believe a word he says. But he would never admit that he's letting someone go and do cartwheel on his mind for almost two weeks now.
"Except we can't walk more than ten feet closer and we've been turning in the same corners as her for about thirty minutes." Sarcasm did not need to be noted.
Jaemin didn't listen and continued walking the same direction as you. This is definitely out of his character, but he has to know you. He's been intrigued enough to actually make an effort to atleast know who you were.
Suddenly, you turned left, into a busy cafe. "You promised me Haidilao, Na Jaemin. Not coffee!" Renjun started being a little irritated. He's hungry, exhausted and disappointed from Jaemin's fake promises. He doesn't need coffee right now, and hell, he's not gonna sit inside a cafe when he could have hotpot right now!
"Jesus, shut the fuck up!" Jaemin dug into his pocket and reached for his phone, typing for a minute and Renjun felt his own phone vibrated.
"Nice. I'll see you later, Sherlock Holmes." Jaemin sent Renjun money for hotpot, which quickly shifted the boy's mood.
"You're useless!" Jaemin yelled as Renjun walked away. "You love me!" Renjun replied with a smile as he skips away.
Jaemin hesitated a bit if he should enter the cafe. Is it too much just to suddenly show up where you are? No. This is the townsquare, students from his and your school are frequents here. It's not gonna be weird. Right, definitely.
The cafe is full packed, quite a line forming. There seems ro be no tables available, but Jaemin still decides to go inside. But as soon as he steps inside the cafe, his feet turned ice cold.
"Alright! I know, I'm sorry!" He sees you hurriedly putting on your apron, as another man seemingly upset with you. He quickly steps into the line of customers, and he just hopes that once he's on the counter, you would be the one serving him.
Jaemin thought he had time to calculate how he's gonna approach you, but the line was quickly moving, and he swear, he's fucking nervous. What if you didn't remember him? Or find him weird for being here?
As the last one in front of him turned to leave, he's finally infront of you. Unfortunately, you weren't looking and focused on the monitor in front of you.
"Uhm," he cleared his throat, trying to get your attention.
"What can I get you, sir?" Your customer service voice was obvious, and quite frankly, annoying. You smiled brightly at him, which he deemed so fake.
"Iced Americano, small." Jaemin's voice was deeper than usual, partly because he's nervous, and maybe because he wanted a cool guy impression.
"You literally followed me here just to get a small americano?" The humour in your voice makes Jaemin embarassed. Wide eyed, Jaemin feigned confusion, not wanting to be caught in 4k.
"I wasn't following y-you?" One thing Jaemin was bad at, was definitely lying. The way he stuttered at his last word says so.
You fought a smirk, again, leaving poor Jaemin feeling so little. "Sure, and the gravity isn't real."
"I swear, I'm not--"
"I'm on a break by 6:30. One small americano, right, sir?" You smiled at him, and Jaemin can fucking feel it. His heart skipping a beat.
"Make that large."
----
His drink already warm, ice all melted into one bland coffee, Jaemin started to feel pathetic. He's been sitting here, on the side of the cafe for almost three hours. He's realizing how stupid he is for doing all of this for someone who's not even that... special. He doesn't know you. You're pretty, yes, but there's always gonna be another girl who's prettier. Maybe its his dick thinking and doing the decisions earlier, but Jaemin saw his entire reputation go so far down if anybody knew he waited for you for three fucking hours. He never knew he could do all of this for a pussy he can easily get with other girls who would even beg for him.
Simmering in his own thoughts, Jaemin huffs and almost stood up to leave, Until he saw his phone, 6:29.
Shit, only one more minute wouldn't hurt anybody? No. Fuck her for playing hard to get. I'm Na fucking Jaemin! Who does she think she is?!
Just as Jaemin actually stood up, he saw you walking slowly towards him while undoing your apron, smile on your face making his knees literally weak that he had to sit down again.
"Leaving already?" You asked, sitting in front of him.
"I-I was just... stretching my legs." If his friends are here to hear the words he just said, he might just jump off a cliff.
"Sure. Now, tell me, Na Jaemin-ssi. What the fuck do you want from me?" Okay, now this, Jaemin did not expect this. Your words sounded harsh but your soft voice says otherwise. Being passive aggresive just makes Jaemin confused all over again.
But fuck it, you wanna play hard? Jaemin can do that. His patience wearing thin, he leaned back on the chair and smirked, almost like flipping on a switch in his aura.
"I want to fuck you." Jaemin didn't whisper, or even lower his voice. He said it so casually, and he noticed your confident stare flinch for a bit.
"I would, but I'm afraid you're not my type." Its like you two were having an asshole-off and seeing who's more cockier than the other. Jaemin isn't competitive, but he's not gonna lose this one.
"Don't be silly. I'm everybody's type." Jaemin definitely won by that line. Or so he thoughts.
"Judging from words on the streets, You're a walking STD. I think I'm gonna pass." This time, Jaemin's sure that you're just pissing him off. Maybe this is your way of playing hard to get, but Jaemin likes to play dirty.
"I fuck a lot but I'm clean, and even if that happens, I'm sure your little school nurse friend can help you." Visible shock in your face, its clear that Jaemin pushed your buttons. Your confident facade slowly shaking, as you gulped and blink trying to process what he just said.
But that didn't last long, only seconds after, you pulled back your smirk. "Oh, you've done some research, I see."
"Now come on, pretty girl. What do you say?" He started to feel it. He's cracking your hard shell.
"Are you really good in bed as they say you were?"
"Go on and ask your friend."
---
"Holy f-fuck, J-jaemin.. shit.. slowdown!" Your table aggressively banging as you bent over it, Jaemin mercilessly pistoning you from behind. His pants not even half way down his thighs, the lower hem of his shirt in between his teeth, showing his glistening abs flexing as he thrusts.
His left hand locking both yours behind your back, and his right hand keeping your head on the table, facing your side. Your mesh tights has been ripped, your skirt all the way up your stomach. One by one, your things that was left on the table started to fall on the ground, as Jaemin's aggressive thrusts forcefully moves the table on a rocking motion.
"Shi.. fuck, I'm coming.." Your hoarse voice was prominent, only motivates Jaemin to hit even harder. Only grunts and growls was heard from the boy, his moans blocked by his shirt between his teeth. Jaemin wasn't only fucking you, he's proving a point aswell. To you, and to himself.
He removes his hands from your head, allowing you to look at him from behind. His free hand brushed his hair backwards, still keeping his tempo. Sweat dripping, his thrusts started to stutter. He then grabbed your face, and pulled you to his chest. Letting go of the shirt in his lips, he whispered, "Come with me, sweetheart."
His hands finding your waist as he felt your walls tighten, an intense whine leaving your mouth as your leg shakes quietly. That triggered his own release, murmuring a few curse words as all his movements halts. Only heavy breathing was heard, everything else dead silent. He slowly pulls out, earning a moan from the both of you.
"That was.." You couldn't even finish, fixing your clothes, quickly sitting at one of your chairs on the table, afraid your knees might give out.
"Intense." Jaemin tucked himself on his pants as he sat down in front of you.
"Not bad," You smirked at him, trying to keep your composure. Jaemin smirked back, proud of himself.
"I thought I wasn't your type?"
"Gotta know what's all the fuss is about. I guess the cat died and curiousity wins." Out of breath, you suddenly picked something on the floor, and Jaemin notices that its a marker that had fell from the table.
"If you wanna do this again," you stared grabbing Jaemin's arms and writing your number on it. "...give me a call, yeah?"
"How about Nurse Suh?" Jaemin didn't wanna sound like a little whiny boy but he had to ask. Is she still going to continue seeing him?
"What about him?" You raised your brows at him.
"Won't he be mad?" Jaemin can see the laugh you held in, before shaking your head.
"We're not in a relationship, and will never be. Same goes to you. We just fuck and go. I'm clean, I hope you are too, and we're not passing the line of being each other's fuck buddy. None of that corny shit, or you're out. I hope you understand, Jaeminnie, you're just a good dick with a pretty face." Your soft face does not match the words you just spilled out. And Jaemin thinks he's hit the jackpot.
No commitments? Just good sex? With you? He thinks he's in heaven. He can't wait to tell the boys about this.
If Jaemin was in the movies, he would've fisted the air and smiled like an idiot.
"Here's to good sex?" Jaemin offers his hand, which you gladly accepted. "Good sex indeed."
---
Jaemin never minded what day it is. Just as long as he did what he needs to do today, he's fine. Tomorrow will have to wait. But eversince you, suddenly he felt impatient and counted the days until he saw you again.
After a few weeks, Jaemin and you saw each other twice a week, mostly Thursdays and Sundays, the days where your schedules matched. Jaemin never knew he would be stuck with one girl for this long, but damn. You're too good. You keep Jaemin on his toes every time he sees you. You were like a gift, waiting to be opened everytime. The excitement and the thrill always feels brand new. And Jaemin would never admit it, but every week, he'd hope the other days go by quickly and wishes it was Thursday again.
"He's smiling like a creep again, Jeno! What the fuck is up with your bestfriend?!" Haechan dramatically hid behind Jeno as Jaemin walked inside their little hang out spot, the old elementay library that became abandoned throughout the renovations.
"He's apparently getting the best pussy in the campus." Jeno shrugged and pushed Haechan away before he plopped himself down the couch.
"You're banging Im Hayeon?" Haechan widen his eyes as he strides towards Jaemin.
"No, dimwit. He's fucking y/n." Renjun, unbothered as usual as he continued drawing in his iPad.
"No way-- no fucking way!" Haechan gasps, grabbing Jaemin's shoulder as he shook it. Jaemin slaps away Haechan's hands and pushed him aside to sit beside Jeno.
"Shut up, Haechan. You're being dramatic." Jaemin pulled out his phone, hoping he would see your name pop up. Surprisingly, nothing but social media notifications greeted him, message requests and follows from people he doesn't know. He checked what time it is, 2:45pm.
Okay. Its still early. She'll text later.
"In all seriousness, dude, do you guys talk? like aside from doing it-- I mean." Jeno's tone was unusual. It's like he's being careful about something, or he wants to say something.
"Yeah? The fuck? D'you think we just fuck and go? Of couse we talk. Why?" Jaemin noticed Jeno's way of talking, turning his whole body towards his bestfriend.
"She tell you something about her?" This time, Renjun and Haechan leaned in.
"Get to the point, man." Jaemin.
"Nah, cuz the girl I was with last night told me that she's really... uh, popular at her previous school." Jeno, knowing the whole context, winced at the word 'popular'.
"What do you mean?" Jaemin's smile when he came here was no longer visible, replacing it with a frown as his brows creased in nervousness.
"I don't know-- man, I think you just... ask her, y'know?" Jeno wasn't comfortable sharing the information he had, but he knew Jaemin needs to know. But he wasn't sure if he's in the place to tell it.
But Haechan did not give a fuck. He's intrigued, and before they knew it, he's deep inside his phone texting someone.
"What are you doing?" Renjun asked.
"Since Jeno is being a pussy and won't share, I'm finding it out." And a second before Haechan could even type another letter, Jeno grabbed his phone away.
"Don't! Don't fucking search it. We should respect her, man. She's still a girl and I heard it was taken down---"
Haechan gasped even louder, even breathing out an "oh my god", He didn't say it out loud but the four of them were thinking the same thing.
"Holy fuck, she has a sex tape?!" Haechan, ofcourse was the first one to break the silence.
And once again, you surprised Jaemin.
---
"I'm famished, god damn." You sat beside Jaemin on your old couch, digging a spoon on your bowl of cereal. Your top barely even buttoned, you started eating a spoonfull after another.
"Slow down, you'll--" before Jaemin even finishes, you caught something in your throat and coughed almost everything in your mouth.
"What did i tell you? Aish-" Jaemin quickly then grabbed the tissue beside the couch and started to wipe your face. He grabbed the bowl from you, putting it aside and wiping some of the milk that had spilled on you.
He then stood up and walked towards your kitchen, as if he owns the place. Next thing you know, he comes back with a glass of water in his hands.
"Thank you," you managed to blurt out in the middle of your coughing and drank the water.
"I thought you didn't have a gag reflex the way you sucked my dick earlier," Jaemin joked, earning a playful slap in his shoulder from you.
"Shut up, movies starting." Jaemin didn't give a single fuck about the movie playing on screen. Haechan's voice keeps ringing in his ear, and as much as he wanted to stay out of it and respect your privacy, something in him wants to know. Its like an itch wanting to be scratched.
"Tom Holland's like the perfect spiderm-- Jaemin?" The boy's trance was interrupted when you call his name. He didn't realize that he was staring off to nothing instead of watching the movie he picked.
"Yeah?" Jaemin blinked thrice before looking at you, your eyes peaked interest as you examined his face.
"You're out of it, what're you thinking?" You paused the movie, moving your body to fully face him.
Jaemin can't wait. He has to know. "Just curious, where did you say your last school is?" He hoped his question wasn't too obvious.
"I didn't say anything?" Okay, hold up. Plan backfired. Fuck!
"What? I-I swear you told me, like, last time? Sacre--"
"Sacred Heart. Yeah. And no, I didn't tell you about it." Like the many times, Jaemin was nervous. Again. You make him so.. unlike himself. What the fuck is it with you?
"Oh, wait, are you sure--"
"You heard about it, huh?" Jaemin couldn't tell if the smirk on your face was a good thing. He doesn't want to fuck this up, and he's starting to think he just did.
"I'm sorry, If you don't want to talk about it--"
"It's fine. It's not that bad. Hell, It could've earned so much if it was uploaded in a porn site, y'know? Stupid Mr. Nakamoto," You chuckled, nonchalantly turning your body towards the screen again, as if what you just said didn't just shocked Jaemin to the core.
The fact that you weren't bothered about it, and even sounded like you're bragging about it wasn't the main thing Jaemin was apalled by. "Mr. Nakamoto?"
You smiled, as if you were reminiscing, "He was my Biology teacher. Couldn't accept the fact that I'm leaving him so he went and blackmailed me with the video, but his phone got stolen and poof, it spread around like a wildfire. If you ask another person tho, they'd just say I spread it myself. You choose what you believe-- I don't really care." And you looked like it too. You did not care, because if you did, you wouldn't just tell all of this to Jaemin.
"Did anything happened to that assho-- Mr. Nakamoto?" Jaemin feels heated. He doesn't know why, but what he knows is he wants to suckerpunch whoever that Nakamoto is.
"Got his license removed, but you know what's even more fun?" You leaned onto him, your lips next to his ear and whispered, "His wife was so devastated her husband had to find someone younger to fuck, she filed for divorce the very next day."
And just like that, Jaemin was left speechless. Again.
---
"Jaem, someone's looking for you." Renjun tapped his friend's shoulder, pointing at the student standing on the door. Jaemin slowly opened his eyes, way too tired to even stand up, and looked who it was.
To his surprise, it was Yoon Jeonghan. He knew this would come sooner or later, since he had a.. thing with his sister for a while. But he never thought that Jeonghan cared, afterall, Jeonghan never talked to him about it.
But oh boy, was he wrong.
"Heard you're fooling around with y/n?" Jeonghan was serious. He wasn't looking at Jaemin, he's just staring ahead. His hands on his pocket, as Jaemin stood behind him, confused.
"Yeah? What about it?" He knew you and Jeonghan were friends, he often sees you with him. But why does this conversation feel more intense?
"And my sister already talked to you about it, right?" This time, Jeonghan looked at him.
"Yeah, she's being weird about it." Somehow, Jaemin wants this conversation to be about Jiho instead of you. He wishes Jeonghan was only after him because of his sister, because then, he knew what to do. But its you. Jaemin never know what to do with you.
"Because she's right. You should stay away from her, man. Just-- a friendly advice, alright?" Jaemin hated how Jeonghan sounded so sincere. What could be so awful about you that even this man, who he never even talked to, warned him about you?
"Dude, not to sound rude, but how the fuck does me fucking around with y/n, your business?" His voice slightly getting sharper, owing to the fact that he hated getting told what to do.
"You're a good man, Na. I'm sure there's more prettier-- even more fucking hotter girls than her. She's not..." Jeonghan paused, almost saying something he would regret, "... good for you. I've known her forever, and she's not the type to be with."
"I know you're older than me, and I mean this with utmost respect, you and your sister should mind your own business. I don't know what she did to you and Jiho, but she's fine. And we're not even together! We're just fooling around! Y'all are so dramatic." With that, Jaemin turned around and left Jeonghan. He sounded so unbothered by all of this, but in all honestly, he's starting to question if there's really a valid reason on why Jeonghan and Jiho was so sincere about you being apparently, a bad person.
The way you laugh at Jaemin, the way you smiled, you tell your stories, and everything Jaemin saw you do, you being a bad person doesn't make sense to him. Sure, you've done some fucked up things but Jaemin never cared about that. You showed him genuine happiness, and Jaemin could never see you in the light that Jeonghan and Jiho painted you out to be.
And just like clockwork, your name popped up in his screen. Just as if everything in the past fifteen minutes never happened, his steps became slightly faster as he grabbed his things. He couldn't be more excited to see you again.
---
"This is pretty." Jaemin pointed out a painting, whilst he dressed himself. You were also doing the same thing, but you looked at where he was pointing at.
It was your artwork from last year. The canvas was leaning beside your dresser, along with other canvasses that you never put up.
"Wonderstruck." you said. You were a bit appalled that Jaemin noticed the only work you were actually proud of. It wasn't even displayed in the front, it was almost entirely covered by unfinished canvasses.
"Wonderstruck? That's its name? It's really beautiful." Jaemin sounded sincere, he really found the painting pretty. It was a couple, sitting by a river on golden hour. Sky was the shade of orange and blue, nighttime seeking in but the sun's still there, laying real low. It was in a middle of a field, lavender flowers scattered around.
It was new to you, men showing interest on something more than your face and body. It sparked something in you, Jaemin knew that with the way you jumped out of your bed, biting your lip, hesitating for a second, "Want to show you something."
"What do you think?" You were standing beside your kitchen table, with a few printed photos of people Jaemin didn't know. It was all in black in white, and all of them showed genuine smiles.
"Cool. Who are they?" Jaemin was adjusting his belt as he scanned every picture. The way you're looking so innocent and fluffy, showing him your photo collection can fool a person into thinking you did not just have mindblowing sex minutes prior. Jaemin stifles a laugh.
You, in your overalls smiled so brightly at him, excited that Jaemin showed interest on your work. "They're random people I saw on the street." You were fidgety, kept on arranging the photos. Looking at Jaemin for any signs of validation. Jaemin thought you were so cute, but he never said it out loud.
"Is it for your project?" Now, Jaemin doesn't have a single clue about the Art department in his school, but he knew it's important for you, so he tried his best.
"No. I just did it." You took one picture and showed it to him upclose. "I just like to see people smiling, you know? There's just something so precious with asking people to smile for you. Because when they do, you can tell that they just feel.. pretty. And I like making people feel pretty." You were so caught up in explaining that you didn't notice how Jaemin was looking at you. And he was thankful you didn't see it.
The way his eyes just expressed a thousand strings of emotions he's afraid to show almost felt dangerous, he didn't want to get caught. But for a moment, he let it happen because he was sure you were focused on something else. All the while he was focused on you. Because while you were explaining how smiling makes people pretty, he was thinking that you didn't need to smile and he's already thinking that you were the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on.
But before you could even looked at him, Jaemin quickly focused his gaze on the photo you were showing him. "That's cool. But I never knew you were into photography aswell. I thought you were into paintings only."
"I'm into art, Jaem. And art comes with different things. Although I like painting more, photography is my second favorite. Here, before you go," Swiftly, you grabbed your polaroid camera and stood beside Jaemin, putting your arms around his shoulder making you stand on your tippy toes, and angling the camera where it could capture you both. Jaemin was caught by surprise but he still managed to smile and pull you tighter.
As soon as the flash disappeared, you removed yourself from him and grabbed the film. "This one's for you, so you could remember who your best sex was." She winked at him and chuckled before going back to rearrange her photos.
Jaemin, on the other hand, his eyes never left your figure. He was in awe, he was amazed, and fuck it, he was wonderstruck. But most importantly, he was fucking scared.
---
The next thursday came, and surprisingly, you didn't call. Jaemin liked to think you were just busy, so he never reached out. There's still sunday, he thought. And even if you didn't reach out this sunday, its okay. It's not like you had to keep the schedule, right?
Besides, Jaemin was busy aswell. He's planning Jeno's birthday. Usually, Renjun and Haechan was the one assigned to planning parties, but Renjun was occupied and Haechan wasn't feeling it. They were still helping Jaemin, its just that Jaemin wanted to throw a party for his bestfriend this time. Also, to take his mind off of you for a bit.
If he wasn't busy and occupied with something, Jaemin might go insane thinking about where you are or why you haven't been calling him. So he initiated.
"How fucking long is your list, Jaemin?" Renjun couldn't believe how long he's been scrolling through Jaemin's list for the party invitations. Yet, he isn't surprised.
"You know you can just announce that you're throwing a party and literally everyone who knows you and Jeno will come, right?" Haechan, laying on the couch scrolling mindlessly on his phone.
"Nah, I don't want some weirdo showing up uninvited." Jaemin pointed out, but he left out another reason. He wanted to waste time on listing names just to get you out his mind even for a short time.
"Well don't forget about Jisung's best friend." Haechan smirked.
"Jeno's brother's bestfriend? That's weirdly specific, bro." Jaemin added, shrugging his shoulders. Still, he wrote it down.
"A little birdie told me that Jeno has a thing for his brother's bestfriend." Haechan chuckled, fixing his glasses.
"What? How come I never knew that?" Jaemin asked. He's Jeno's best friend and an information like this would surely come up. Yet its the first time he's heard of this.
"That's because you're so far up that mystery y/n girl's ass you're starting to look like anal beads, bro." Renjun winced at Haechan's choice of words, but then again, he's used to it.
"I'm not, dude. I'm here most of the time, aren't I?" Jaemin looked at Renjun for validation, but he just rolled his eyes at him.
"He's actually right, Jaemin. You're whipped." Renjun added, smirking.
"What the fuck are you talking about? I'm literally here in front of you guys, on a thursday, which I'm supposed to be with her-- but I'm not because she didn't call-- but also because I want to be with you ass--"
"The more you talk, the more you prove our point. You're fucking whipped, Na Jaemin." Haechan sat down properly, playfull shoving Jaemin to provoke him. Jaemin just hit Haechan's hands away but that didn't stop the boy from annoying him.
"Think of it, dude. You went through two months with her-- only her. Two months-- dude. That's fucking bizarre for you. It's either that pussy was gold, or-- just like what we're saying, your ass is whipped." Haechan was pissing Jaemin off, not because he doesn't agree, its because he does. And admitting that would just fuck up everything you two have.
"I don't know what you're talking about. You guys are tripping, big time. I'm not whipped." Lies tasted bitter in his mouth. He might just be whipped.
He walked out of their hangout room, and just as he opened the door, his eyes widen. You were there, standing with your messy bun, clueless eyes and a box in your hand.
"H-hey?" Jaemin was caught offguard, as he closed the door behind him.
"That room looks like it stinks."
Jaemin chuckled, it does. "Mostly of weed and old furniture. What's up?"
"I,- uh, baked some cookies. Just-- y'know, wanted you to have some." You awkwardly raised your box of cookies to present them to Jaemin, and it takes so much of him not to melt on the spot.
"Thank you," Jaemin resisted the urge to call you 'baby', mostly because he didn't know if he was allowed to do it outside your apartment.
"Tell you what-- why don't we eat it together?" Jaemin.
"I'm free until 4:30?"
"Cool, we can go to the garden, there's barely any student there."
Jaemin smiled and grabbed you by your wrist. "But I know a much more cooler place."
"Really? Where?" Jaemin stopped, and it was your turn to hold him by the wrist.
Jaemin didn't ask, he just let you drag him anywhere. You could take him to a lion's den, he wouldn't care. Anywhere is fine with him as long as you're there.
After climbing on a flight of stairs, Jaemin noticed that you two ended up on Art department building's rooftop.
He hasn't been in here, and it was.. interesting. It looks like any other rooftop, messy and full of unused class chairs, except there was a spot where there's an old couch, just like what they have on their hangout spot. There's a random mini refrigerator and a lamp-- thats it.
"This is my super secret place. Be greatful I let you in here." You squinted your eyes at Jaemin as you patted the seat beside you, basically asking him to sit.
Jaemin did so, and looked ahead. He can see the entire school campus in here.
"This is pretty." He whispered.
"Much better than your stinky room, huh?" You bragged, opening a can of cola that you have on the mini fridge.
"Hey, how come you have that? We requested to have one but the stupid school didn't let us."
"Oh, this little guy? Johnny helped me with it." You smirked, tapping the blue mini fridge.
"Johnny?" A new name in Jaemin's books. Who's Johnny?
"Nurse Suh? His name is Johnny Suh, you didn't know?"
"I didn't." His vibe went a bit south, but he didn't let that spoil your moment together. It was rare for you to approach him in school, and he wanted to have that moment.
"This is good, damn." Jaemin munched on the cookies you got for him and it was honestly tasty. Better than any other cookies he had before, or maybe he was biased and his judgement was greatly affected by the fact that you made it. Eitherway, the cookies are delicious.
"I only made one batch and even that was too much for me. I wanted to give some out but.." you paused. "Funny, you're the only one I had in mind."
"Nurse Suh?" Jaemin didn't even know why he brought the guy up again, but he did.
"Nah, we don't do that." You smiled.
"And we do?" A tinge of hope sparked in Jaemin, that maybe he had some difference between him and Nurse Suh. Maybe you do treat him more special. A guy can dream, can't he?
"Sure, we do. I mean, I can't just throw away this exceptionally good tasting cookies, can't I? And you're the only one I have right now.. so."
Jaemin was enthusiastic. He felt like he won something. He can't help but smile even more, but also, he felt bad. When you said he was the only one you have, he thought about Jiho and Jeonghan.
"What about the Yoon siblings?"
You let out a humourless chuckle, more like a scoff. "Jiho doesn't talk to me anymore and Jeonghan.. well. It's complicated."
"I swear I just saw you two eating at the cafeteria." Heck, that's how he found out about you. Because you were sitting at the cafeteria beside Jeonghan.
"He just sat with me because he felt bad I was eating alone. Also I barely go down there to eat-- so he kinda just.. I don't know. Let's not talk about them anymore, Jaem."
---
"Look at me, baby." Jaemin whispered, softly grabbing your jaw to turn your head towards him. He has you on your side, holding your right thigh up as he slowy thrust. He can see that you're near, and damn, he can feel it too.
"J-jaem.." You start shaking, as your entire body give out. Looking into his eyes, his own pleasure wasn't on the table anymore, he just wants you to feel good. He can safely say that you are indeed the prettiest when you cum, and he's glad he can see you this way.
"That's right, sweetheart. Let go for me, will you?" This was very different on how you usually do it with him. You were usually intense, rough and fast, but something about tonight feels more... passionate. Jaemin never went any faster than his current tempo, yet he still hits every spot. Slow and deep, while he looks at your face, admiring the beauty he's glad he had the priviledge to see.
"Kiss me, Jaemin." You didn't even have to ask twice, Jaemin already dipped his head lower to reach your lips, tasting you while your walls tightens, your whimpers covered by his own lips, you just came.
Once Jaemin pulls away, he pulls a few strings of hair strands away your face to see you. Your eyes glistening, and not long when you let a tear drop. Jaemin could never wish for anything more than this.
"You're so beautiful, y/n." He whispered, more to himself, than to you.
"Thank you." You softly answered, smiling at him and giving him another kiss. Jaemin then let go of your thigh, instead wrapping his arms on your waist. It seems like you got the idea that he's near his climax so you positioned yourself in a way that he gets more of you, sticking your backside out more thus facing away from him.
"No, no, princess keep looking at me." Jaemin whispered and you followed, facing him again.
"You gonna cum for me, baby?" You asked sensually. His thrust slightly getting deeper, but never faster. His eyes went back and forth with both of your eyes as he nodded.
"For you, my love." He mumbled. His jaw slightly ajar, brows furrowed as he let out a deep moan, abruptly staying still and you felt his release warming up your walls.
"You did so good, Jaemin. So, so good." Your compliments just adds to his pleasure. Shivers ran down his spine, he manages to calm himself after his intense climax.
"You're so good to me. I lik--" Before Jaemin finishes, you pulled away from him.
"I'm taking a piss." You said, forcing yourself to stand up and walk your way to the bathroom.
And just like how he felt so good seconds before, it suddenly got washed away with the feeling of dismay. He can't believe he just attempted to say that. Fuck. Running his hands on his face, he mentally curses himself for being wreckless.
You were still in the bathroom when Jaemin heard a few knocks. He's confused, grabbing his phone to look at the time.
9:47pm. Who could visit you at this time?
He grabbed his boxers and quickly putting it on, as well as his shirt but he didn't bother to make himself presentable. He opened the door and his eyes widen.
"Nurse Suh?" He eyed the tall man, and the guy eyed him too. Both of them are confused as to why the other is standing where they are.
"Na Jaemin? What the hell are you doing here?" Johnny wasn't even sure why he was asking that, it's clear with Jaemin's shuffled hair and obviously--- him in his boxers.
"I'm sure you know the answer to that." Jaemin sounded rude, but he does not give a shit. Nurse Suh poses as a threat to him and your-- uh, situationship -- and Jaemin doesn't have a reason to be nice to him.
"Where is she?" Johnny's voice was full of concern, as he looked past the younger boy just to get a glimpse inside your apartment. That's until Jaemin steps outside, and closing the door behind him.
"What do you want from her?" Jaemin looks at him, and although the guy was taller and has a bigger built, again, he doesn't care.
"I'm sure you know the answer to that." Johnny's tone and him mocking Jaemin pissed him more. Letting out a huge breath, Jaemin looked at him straight in the eyes.
"You know-- you're whole relationship with her is fucked up, right?" Johnny was surprised on how Jaemin just turned off the calm facade. He didn't expect him to be triggered like this
"What relationship? You out of all people should know she doesn't do relationsh--"
"Yeah, whatever. You can't fuck around with her anymore, man. You're a fucking school staff, and she's a student. Also, you have a fucking girlfriend. I don't know how you're okay with this."
"The same way she's okay with it. Look, kid," Johnny closed his eyes and massaged his temples, he continued. "... me and her, we've been through some shit. Shit that you can't handle. But I know.. man, you care for her. And I don't want to hear your bullshit, you do care for her. And I do too. But she's not the kind to be with, y'know? She's gonna ruin--"
"Fuck! You weren't the only one who fucking told me that. I don't know what she did to you, but she's fine with me. If you think of her as this fucking tragedy on legs, then maybe you don't really care, don't you? But I do. So get off my fucking ass and don't see her again. Or I'm gonna have to report you." Jaemin didn't know where all of his words came from, but it did feel good. He doesn't think about the consequences of everything, but one thing's for sure. He's not gonna let anyone talk shit about you anymore.
Johnny, tho, never flinched. Instead, he smirks and even let out a chuckle. "You've got some nerves, kid. Okay. I'll back off. But don't come running back when she breaks you." he then turned around and got ready to leave, but a few steps in, he turned to Jaemin again.
"...oh, and tell her Happy birthday."
Jaemin stood there for a minute, watching Johnny leave. It's your birthday? How come you never said anything?
After a few deep breaths, he went inside the apartment again. Just in time when you walked out the bathroom, hair all wet and with a set of new pajamas.
"You done?" Jaemin approached with a smile.
"Yeah. You wanna take a shower?" You looked up at him. He shook his head as he patted your head. "You hungry?" he asked.
You smiled even more, looking up at him expectantly, "Please?"
"Okay. I'll go get us some food, alright? You don't worry your pretty little head." Jaemin gave you a kiss on the top of your head before getting his pants and keys, walking out of the apartment.
Not even half an hour, Jaemin came back. Not only with takeout, but also a bento box. You looked at him kind of confused on what it is, but when he opened it, your eyes widen. It was a small cake that he bought on the convenience store. He wanted a much more expensive one but he also wants to get back to you as soon as possible.
He then pulled out a small candle, sticking it onto the cake. Pulling out a newly bought lighter, and lighting the candle. "Happy birthday, princess. Make a wish." He smiles softly at you.
When all of this was happening, you didn't say a thing. You just looked at him with your glassy eyes, your mouth slightly apart. You blinked hard and fast before finally tracing back to yourself, "I'm.. how did you know?" you asked.
"Doesn't matter. Now come on, candle's burning out." Thats when you looked down on the candle, quickly closing your eyes, clasping your hands together as you thought hard about what you're wishing. Seconds after, you opened your eyes and blew on the candle.
Jaemin was still smiling, setting the small cake aside to give you a kiss on your forehead. He was surprised when your arms wrapped around his waist.
"Why do you have to make me so happy, Jaem? You make it so hard. So hard." You whispered, but Jaemin heard everything. He desparately wanted to answer, because he had an answer. And its something he's afraid to tell you. Because the result was uncertain. Its either it goes perfectly well, or he lose you. And he's not gonna take that risk.
So instead, he just returned your embrace, but even more tighter, giving you another kiss on your forehead. "I don't know." he answered quietly, lying to you and to himself.
"You're a good person, Jaem. Anyone would be lucky to have you." Your vulnerable voice made Jaemin feel warm. In a way, you sounded truthful. You felt genuine.
"You're lucky, then." Slowly, Jaemin. Lay it on her slowly.
"I can't have you." Your bitter smile showed.
"Why not?" Every second counted, every breath you take suddenly mattered.
"I can't do that to you," With a shaking voice, you buried your face in his chest even more.
"I don't understa--"
"Just shut up, shut the fuck up and let me have this." And with that, Jaemin never muttered another word. Instead, he just held you closer like this was the last time he gets to do so.
"Jaem?" You looked up at him, Jaemin looked dow n at you with his eyebrows up.
"I'm sorry." You said. And Jaemin didn't want to ask why you were apologizing, he doesn't like to know the reason behind it. Because he doesn't want you to give him a reason why he needs to forgive you about something.
---
"I think I'm inlove with her."
"Ya think?" Jeno, deep inside his phone, seems like he's stressed about something. Never minding his best friend's struggle, because everybody already knew Jaemin was inlove with you. It's not new information.
"Fuck! Shit!" Both their heads turn as they saw Renjun ran inside their hangout spot and closed the door.
"Hell is wrong with you?" Jaemin asked, but Renjun ignored him and proceeds to lock the door.
"Why's everybody so weird today?" Jaemin mumbled.
It is a very weird day for Jaemin. Somehow, he feels like something's not right. Well, yeah, his undying love for you was one thing he was stressed about but there's more, today's not like every other day, he thought.
That goes on for the rest of his morning. Its like he's waiting on something to happen, like everybody was so tense. You didn't text or call either, which was feeding onto Jaemin's paranoia. It's not like he's being clingy, but he's genuinely feeling something unsettling in his chest.
Maybe it was the coffee he had this morning, or maybe the fact that he's never had this dilemma about a girl before.
So, finally giving up his pride, he texted you.
4:50pm jaemin: wya
4:52pm jaemin: heyy
4:58pm jaemin: ??
You not answering definitely did not help. So, the next big thing he can come up with was go to your apartment. Not a smart choice but Jaemin never once claimed to be smart.
Once he took a step towards your door, for a moment. Jaemin regretted going here. He can see that your lights are on, and can hear shuffling inside. But fuck it, he's already here.
He thought you had someone over, maybe Johnny, or someone else. That made him heated. But the closer he was on your front door, he heard yelling-- and another voice, which he could tell was from a girl.
The door was ajar-- and once he was right infront of it, he could hear everything.
"Y/N! Please! Not him-- he's a good person. You know that!" He confirmed that it was Jiho who was arguing with you.
"I don't care what you feel, Jiho. Get the fuck out of my apartment!"
"Leave Jaemin alone--" Once Jaemin heard his name, his feet froze on the spot.
"Why the fuck are you so nosy? Is it because I stole your little Na Jaemin? Then go ahead! Get him back! But, oh-- newsflash, he doesn't want you anymore. Washed up and used--" The sound of a slap made Jaemin finally interfere. He walked up inside your apartment and saw you holding your cheek and Jiho crying. Both of them looked at him shocked.
"What are you doing here?" Jiho was the first one to speak, but Jaemin's eyes were focused on you.
"Did you just hurt her?" Jaemin was angry. The sight of your cheeks red and the fact that he knows Jiho just slapped you didn't sit right with him.
"Didn't you heard what she said?! Didn't you fucking understand what kind of person she is?" Jiho cried even more, she couldn't believe that someone as sweet as Jaemin would side with the most vile person she knows.
"Doesn't give you the right to hurt her." Jaemin threw all his principles away at this point. He doesn't care anymore.
"You're poisoning his mind, Y/N!" Jiho shouted, which you just smirked at her. Jaemin can't find the warmth inside your eyes, he just saw something empty.
"I didn't do shit, Jiho. Maybe you should just learn how to get out of my fucking trail. Or should I do something? Should I break your brother's heart for the second time?" Jaemin didn't know this version of you. Its like you've thrown away every emotion you have just to spite everyone.
"Don't you fucking dare." Jiho attempted to step towards you again but Jaemin put himself in between you and Jiho.
"Just go, Jiho." Jaemin calmly said.
Jiho didn't say anything, and let out a huge puff before walking out of the apartment, sobbing. She slammed the door shut and quickly the room went silent. None of you dared to talk for the first couple of minutes.
"I didn't want you here," you started.
Jaemin didn't say anything, instead, picking up some things that fell on the floor, trying to fix the apartment. Your paint brushes, your keys, and even some of your photos were on the floor. Must've been a very intense argument.
"Did you hear me, Jaemin? I don't want you here!" your voice strained, Jaemin pretended not to hear you as he continue to clean up the mess.
"Are you hungry? Want me to get you dinner?" Jaemin's voice was as normal as it can be. It doesn't make sense to you. But everything in this situation doesn't make sense.
Jaemin should be mad. Jaemin should go and leave you. Jaemin wasn't supposed to stay.
"Whatever-- do what you want. I'm going to bed."
Jaemin likes to think that in a couple of hours, you'll come up and be in a great mood. Sun shining and all that corny shit. Jaemin was also overly enthusiastic, one that masks with the real thing he's feeling right now. Nervous. Worried.
For a couple of days. Jaemin tried his best to get you out of your apartment because remember, you two are students. You were supposed to go to school. But you never left your bed. And for the first few days, Jaemin didn't go to school too. He was in your apartment day and night, looking after you. This wasn't like you before, Jaemin swears its like you're a whole new different person.
You didn't talk, didn't want to get up, and he knows damn well you aren't sleeping for the past days. You just layed there, emotionless.
He didn't know why he was doing this. You weren't you anymore and Jaemin doesn't know who he was even taking care of anymore. But he's still here. He's still with you.
The third day went and Jaemin is still in your apartment. Ignoring his friends-- and shit, even his mom. He doesn't want them to know why he's MIA for the past few days. He doesn't want everyone to know yours and his business. Whatever happenes between you two, stays between you two.
Jaemin woke up with you sitting on the kitchen. Eyes staring at nowhere, hair dishevelled and bags under your eyes forming.
"Goodmorning," Jaemin said in his sweet voice, careful not to scare you.
"I don't know how many times I should tell you this, but you should go, Jaemin. While I'm being nice." Even your voice sounds like a stranger. The pinch of joy that used to come with your voice were no longer there.
"I will, but I need to make sure you're fine---"
"I'm fine! I don't fucking need you here!" You yelled, Jaemin flinched but still remained calm.
"Are you hungry--"
"Maybe you've become dumb and stupid that you can't comprehend a simple fucking sentence, huh? I'm done with you, Jaemin. I'm sorry but you're useless to me now. I need a new face around here and yours is--"
"You really want me to leave?" Jaemin sincerely asked, like he was tired. Your eyes lifted, and you nodded.
"Yes." Jaemin's lips formed a thin line, his jaw clenched.
"Fine." He calmly walked away-- and convinced he can't take it anymore. He was tired mentally, emotionally and physically. You didn't want to be helped and Jaemin knew he can't handle you.
But as soon as the door shut behind him, his feet stood frozen as he waited. And not even a couple of minutes, the sound of your sobbing on the other side of the door made Jaemin turn his steps.
He was tired, but not fatigued. He knew he couldn't handle you but he can try. You didn't want to be helped but maybe tomorrow you change your mind. And maybe, just maybe, he can take another day.
"Breakfast, y/n. Come on." Jaemin, the fourth day. He went home for a bit, took a shower, but quickly went back to your place. And in his surprise, you were out of bed.
He can hear the faucet running, so he knew you were in the bathroom.
A few moments later, he heard you coming out of the shower. And there you are, hair all wet, freshen up after a few dreadful days and Jaemin was starting to see the color coming back in your skin.
"You feeling better, baby?" He softly asked.
"What are you still doing here?"
Jaemin didn't say anything, instead, giving you the most precious smile he had. "Come on, I cooked pancakes."
"Jaemin, get out. We're done, Jaemin. Get the fuck out!" Tears started forming again in your newly healed eyes, as you pointed out the door.
"I'm not leaving you, y/n." Finally, Jaemin acknowledged the situation.
"Who the fuck do you think you are, huh? When I say we're done, we're done, Jaemin. Can't get that through your thick head?" Words spew like venom, Jaemin starting to feel like he's staring at a stranger. Who is this person in front of him?
"I know you're upset and you haven't eaten a proper meal in days--"
"The fuck do you care?" And with that, you ticked something off from Jaemin.
"Fuck do I care?! Y/N, you've pushed everyone around you away and I was the one who stayed! For days I didn't go anywhere and stayed with you, y/n. Do I care?! Because even if I don't know what the fuck is going on with you I still fucking stayed! So yeah, I'd like to think that I care for you because I fucking lo-- shit!" Jaemin caught himself before actually saying the thing. He knows its a deal breaker if he said it but hopefully, you already felt it.
"Did I ask you to do all of that shit?"
Jaemin can almost feel his heart shatter. You really didn't care about him, or his feelings. He had a little bit of hope. And with a single sentence, you destroyed it.
Jaemin let out a humourless chuckle. "Fine. We're fucking done, y/n."
---
It's been a week and Jaemin's friends started to worry. Jaemin barely ate-- didn't attend his classes and barely got out of their hangout spot. Jeno had a call with his mom and told him that Jaemin didn't once contact them in almost a month. And thats where Jeno knew something was wrong. Jaemin loved his mom-- and he would never ghost her.
"Man, I don't know what to do. He just flicked me off when I offered him ramen." Haechan was serious. You barely see him being this concerned-- but even him, knows something was wrong with Jaemin.
"Is it about that y/n girl?" Renjun asked.
"Probably. I mean, eversince she came into the picture Jaemin basically became a different person." Jeno haven't met you yet, but this, what you're doing to his bestfriend definitely isn't giving a good impression.
"Maybe they're done. If Jaemin's looking like this and haven't mentioned a single thing about her, I think that's what this is." Renjun said, looking at his friend, and his sleeping figure.
"I have an idea." Haechan stood up and huddled his friends, but Jeno and Renjun stepped away. "No, Haechan, you don't."
"What? At least I'm trying to help our friend!" He grabbed both of his friends again, "Anyways-- we should introduce him to another girl. Get him back in the game, y'know?"
"What are we talking about?" The three of them almost jumped when Jaemin was suddenly huddled with them.
"Nothing! We're just thinking about how much booze we're buying for Jeno's party." Haechan's quick wits came into action but Jaemin didn't buy it.
"Stop being weird." He casually walked back to the sofa and plopped himself down again.
Jeno tho, had enough. "You're weird! What the fuck is with this act, bro? You look lovesick or some shit."
"m not doing anything, the fuck are you on about?" Jeno got even more pissed, because Jaemin was blatantly lying.
"That girl you're with is causing trouble, dude. You're barely going to class, we haven't seen you in days, you didn't call your mom in a week and just for her to fuck with the school nurse?" Jeno's still calm, not wanting to escalate the situation. But he figured that Jaemin needs to hear it one way of another.
Jaemin was visibly confused. What did Jeno mean about you with nurse suh? Didn't he already dealt with that?
"Saw her yesterday at the nearby convenience store with Nurse Suh. I don't know, dude but she's not worth all this shit. And I don't even wanna talk about the stuff I heard about her previous school, man." Haechan was a little hesitant about confronting Jaemin, but since Jeno has already started it he's got no choice but to just say it.
"You're out of your mind if you think you have the right to say all that shit. You don't even know her." Every word that Jaemin says was delivered with so much intensity, even the boys were starting to feel uneasy.
"We're just confused Jaem, eversince you met that y/n girl its like you became a whole new perso--" Renjun was cut off when Jaemin let out a scoff.
"Okay, I see what's going on here. If we're airing out our business here then let me have my fucking turn." Jaemin stepped towards Jeno, "You, aren't you shagging your lil bro's bestfriend? Yeah? Guess what, so is half the school."
"Hey, the hell? What's wrong with you, man?" Haechan interfered. He knew the look that Jeno has right now was serious, and he also knew that if he didn't get in between them, chaos will ensue. So he quickly stepped beside Jeno.
"What the fuck do you know about me and her, Renjun? I minded my own business when you went out with your girl out of pity." Jaemin doesn't know where that came from, but it already went out his lips. He wasn't the one to say things like that but somehow it came out. Renjun was fazed, to say the least.
"And you--" Jaemin let out an sigh and smirked, slowly turning towards Haechan. "You talk high and mighty but everybody knows you're a fucking cheater, Lee Haechan. So you, especially you, doesn't have the right to even mutter a thing about her. Because if we're talking about being an asshole, you take the fucking throne." Jaemin's eyes are empty, and so his mind. He just wanted to say anything to get back at his friends without thinking.
"Fuck you, man. Seriously. All this for that girl? You look fucking pathetic, Na Jaemin." Jeno was aggravated and fuming, but he was never gonna go down with violence, specially with his best friend. He knew better.
"It doesn't even fucking matter what you think about her anymore, cuz y'know what? We're done. She doesn't wanna see me anymore. So go ahead and talk shit about her but make sure I'm not in the fucking room next time." The room was silent, they didn't know what to say. Obviously because this was the first time they saw Jaemin like this.
"I think this shit got out of hand, I know you're upset but we're just genuinely concerned, dude." Renjun, now on the much calmer side, tries to difuse the situation.
"Okay, I'm just gonna ignore what you said because I know you're upset, Jaemin. But come on, man, you've met her what? For two months? And you're already losing yourself? I swear if this could be any other girl I wouldn't say anything but man.. she's only trouble. And you can get angry at us all you want but I'm glad you got out of that situation." This side of Haechan was rarely seen, because it only comes out when they need it the most. And for Jaemin, its also rare that he agrees with Haechan but this time, he did.
For the next week, Jaemin tried to bring himself back, and his friends noticed it too. He became active again, going to parties with them and even got back to planning on Jeno's birthday party. There was no sign of you, your name or your presence. Jaemin was starting his old ways again, meeting some girls here and there.
"Hey, what did I tell ya, huh? She's great, isn't she?" Haechan grinned at him, as they walked together.
"Nah, I've had better." Jaemin non-chalantly said.
Haechan looked at his friend, smile slowly getting bigger. "There's the asshole I know, glad you're back to the game, man!" Haechan with his proudest smile, shook Jaemin playfully and but the boy did nothing but chuckle.
His friends were satisfied and pretty much convinced that you were completely out of Jaemin's system. To see Jaemin go back to whatever he was before you, definitely brought back the Jaemin they knew.
"Happy birthday, man! Whew, how does it feel to be an old hag?" Haechan joked as he hugged Jeno, Jeno just playfully pushed him away.
The music was loud and people were starting to fill up Jeno's house. It's his parent's house and they were out of town, as per Jeno's request on his birthday. No one wants to party with their parents, ofcourse.
To say that Jaemin pulled off the party planning was an understatement. It was only 8pm and the party is already packed. Jaemin really outdid himself on this one, also with a little help from Haechan and Renjun.
"Happy birthday, Lee! This party is fucking lit, dude!" Yangyang, from engineering department went and greeted Jeno. "We've got Jaemin to thank for that." Jeno responded loudly, trying to communicate among the loud music.
"Yeah-- where's Na?" Yangyang asked, and Jeno was clueless as him. He knew Jaemin was in the house, he saw him earlier. But after that he never saw him again.
His eyes went around the room to find atleast Haechan or Renjun, and he only found Renjun on the side, in his phone. "He's around, somewhere." Jeno answered, bidding goodbye to the friend and walked across the room to approach Renjun.
"Where's Jaemin?" Jeno managed to ask.
"Upstairs with the girl Haechan introduced him to!" Renjun wiggled his eyebrows at Jeno, and Jeno nodded in agreement. At least he knew Jaemin was having fun.
Little did they know, Jaemin wasn't having fun.
"Come on, Jaemin.. how long does it take?" The girl whispered sexually, kissing his neck like its her last meal.
"Just.. don't talk." Usually it doesn't take Jaemin this long to get hard, but the girl just doesn't do it for him. Its been almost thirty minutes and Jaemin is getting tired, but he also doesn't want to disappoint, so he tries his best to focus on the girl, but he just couldn't.
His phone constantly vibrating doesn't help, so he grabbed it and threw it on the other side of the bed.
Jaemin closed his eyes, felt every single touch and did the worst thing he could ever do to himself. He imagined it was you.
You were touching him, kissing him and giving him warmth. It's you he's with, not this girl, not any girl. Its you. And it worked. It brought back memories of you that sparked something in his body. Small waves of pleasure started. And just as he's slowly starting to function, he heard the door open.
Jaemin's back was facing the door but the girl on his lap can see who just entered. The little mindgames in his head was interupted when the sound of the door brought him back to reality.
"What the fuck? This room is occupied!" The girl with him yelled, completely destroying the fantasy Jaemin created in his head. He's back to square one again, and this time he's not trying again.
As soon as the intruder left, Jaemin lifted the girl off his lap. "Sorry, Cindy, bab--" he can't even call her 'baby'. "--but you need to go."
Jaemin didn't wait for her answer and left her on the bed while he walked and locked himself on the bathroom.
As soon as he knew that the girl had officially left, that's when he went out to his room again. His hands finding his phone, he checked what time it is. 9pm.
Jaemin brushed his hands through his hair, frustrated and strssed.
He ignored the multiple chat that Jeno and Renjun had sent, and went to an food delivery app instead.
Delivery Status: Successful
Items: 1 Full Steak Meal with Pineapple Juice and NY Cheesecake
Total: 80,000krw
Notes: Don't skip a meal :) -J
Jaemin has been sending food to your place for the past week. In exactly 9pm, when he knew you'd usually have your dinner.
The next morning, he woke up fine. He didn't really drink much so he didn't have any sort of headaches or symptoms of a bad hangover.
The house was eerily quiet, as usual, the morning after a very big party.
He was the first to wake up and the whole house was trashed. He didn't expect anything else, ofcourse seeing the amount of people last night.
He knew all four of them was still in the house tho, maybe a couple of girls, so as the designated sober person he took the initiative to prepare breakfast. It was calming for Jaemin to take care of people.
Not long after he heard a couple of footsteps, and of course, it was Renjun.
"Mornin'" Renjun, hair sticking out everywhere, still in his clothes from last night.
"Had fun last night?" Jaemin asked, smirking.
"Didn't you read the texts I sent you last night?" Renjun asked. Jaemin's smirk disappeared.
"What text?"
"Jeno wouldn't want me to tell you this but... she was here. She was looking for you but Jeno and I didn't tell her where you were. She knew that you were here because she told us you invited her a while ago, she looks so.. tired. And then she asked Jisung, who doesn't have a clue with the whole y/n situation so he told her that you were upstairs." Renjun thought that Jaemin needed to know what happened. Jeno thought otherwise.
Jaemin felt his blood drain out of his body. He remembered someone knocking and opening the door to where he was with a girl last night, but he didn't know who it was. Jaemin's heart was racing. He was sure it was you. And he was also sure how fucked up it is to find him like that.
Jaemin didn't say anything, grabbing his keys as he left Renjun thinking if he made the right decision.
"Y/n! Y/n!" Jaemin was knocking on your door with urgency, and after a few, the door opened.
You were there. Standing in front of him but why can't Jaemin find any familiarity?
You were so different. You've lost weight. You're not you-- yet his heart still beats the same. His eyes still found warmth as you looked at him. The smile that left no trace on your face still lingered around Jaemin's memories and for that he still knows that somehow, you're still you.
"Hey." You whispered. You sounded weak.
Jaemin was about to hug you-- confront you about last night but once his eyes left the beauty that is your face, his heart skipped a beat. His body froze, he felt like time stopped.
Your shirt. Your fucking shirt. You're wearing a faded out starwars shirt.
"W-what are you wearing?"
"Oh this? Ah, right! Tell Haechan thank you for last night-" You smiled, the sweetest smile that Jaemin once loved, was now stabbing him in the chest.
"Don't..-- Why are you-- I don't understand.." Jaemin finally broke down, eyes letting go of the tears he held. You're breaking him down-- you're ruining him.
"What? You thought I was better?"
"Y/n.. don't do this to me.." Jaemin whispered. Knees giving out, yet he remained still.
"I don't know what to tell you, Jaemin. I'm everything they told you I would be."
"You're just.. cruel. My friend, y/n? My fucking friend?" In contrast with his cursing, his tone wasn't angry. It was despair.
"Will you leave me now?"
"Did you.. did you sleep with him?" Stupid question.
"I don't know, Jaemin. Did I?"
"You're.. fuck, y/n you're just cruel. Cruel and fucking unfair. Whatever did I do to you?" His voice strained. Drip-drop.
"Do you finally hate me?" Drip-drop.
Drip-drop.
Drip...drop.
"Yeah.. yeah I think I do."
And there it was. The last drop of Jaemin's feelings for you. Congratulations, y/n. You've finally drained him out of love.
---
Three days, Jaemin went off the grid. He stayed with his mom, giving himself a break.
He didn't want to contact any of his friends. At least not for now. He knew he still had that pent up anger towards Haechan, and he don't want to do anything that would result in him being violent. He knew that it was all your plan, just to get him to leave you alone.
What he couldn't understand is why Haechan did it. Haechan knew what Jaemin felt for you, like shit, he knew before Jaemin even knew for himself. He was one of the people who made Jaemin realize his feelings for you.
He wished he had listened to everybody and just left you alone. He wished he took everyone's advice and minded his own business. Maybe all of this wouldn't have happened.
Eventually he had to comeback. His school isn't very much happy with him and its not like its the end of the world. Everything is moving on but him, and nobody likes to be left behind.
As soon as his friends saw him, Haechan froze. He quickly tried and approached Jaemin. "Dude. Where were you? Everybody was looking for you--"
"Don't touch me, Lee Haechan." Jaemin wasn't angry, but he wasn't calm either. His tone is strong and firm, enough to stop Haechan from his tracks.
"Is this about Jeno's birthday?" Jaemin wanted to punch Haechan for even bringing it up. How could he?
"I swear to God if you don't step back--"
"What the hell is wrong with you, Jaemin?" Renjun was the one to interfere this time.
"What's wrong with me? This fucker slept with y/n and you're asking me what's wrong with me, Huang?!"
"Hold up-- hold the fuck up, What do you mean?" Jeno, eyes going back and forth between Haechan and Jaemin.
"She told you we slept together?" Haechan was legitamately confused.
"She was wearing your ugly ass shirt, Haechan."
"Yeah because I lent it to her? She was at the party and I accidentally bumped into her and she got alcohol spilled all over her shirt, Jaemin. So I had to fucking give her a shirt and then she ran away right after. You think I'd do that to you?!" Haechan was fully arguing with him now but Jaemin had remained silent.
Then why did you let him think that you did it? Why would you put him through this? Are you that desparate to make Jaemin hate you?
Jaemin brushed his palm all over his face. He was dumbfounded. He then plops down on the couch, deliberately thinking about the past few days he spent trying to get you off his head. And he thought he was damn near on succeeding, but the sudden information struck him down again.
And just as the tension was slowly coming down, a sudden intrusion on their room made the four of them look at the door.
"He's here? Na Jaemin!" Jiho burst through the door, passing through the three boys who were too caught in the moment to stop her.
"J-Jiho.." Jaemin stood up again, as Jiho stood in front of him.
"What did you do?!" Jiho was frustrated and angry, to say the least.
"Let's calm down," Renjun, the forever pacifist meekly attempted to delute the situation in hand.
"No! I told you, Jaemin! We told you to stay away from her!" Jiho.
"Are you blaming him? Your friend is a pathological liar who likes to play with peopl--" Jiho angrily turned towards Jeno, making the boy stop his rant.
"You're not part of this." Jiho then looked at Jaemin again.
"We're done, Jiho. I don't want her anymore. I don't want anything to do with her--"
Jiho smirked, "She left, Jaemin. She pulled out of school."
The room filled with silence, and it was so loud. Nobody wanted to say anything, partly because they were waiting for Jaemin to react.
"She-- what?" Jaemin was shocked. His body didn't know how to react. Every bones started to feel loose, it was so eerily quiet that it feels like he can count the seconds it takes for his heart to beat again.
Jiho's tears started to flow. "She was sober for six months, you know? We thought we finally fixed her-- she was doing fine. And then you-- you just had to come in and ruin everything."
"I don't underst--"
"I don't want to blame it all on you, because I know you're also hurt-- but Jaemin we begged you to stay away from her. But you didn't. You--" Jiho sat down, hands on her face, shoulders shaking.
"S-she--" Jaemin couldn't form a sentence.
"Where were you? In the past three days, Jaemin, where were you?" Jiho took a sharp breath, raising her head and looked at Jaemin once again.
"I was at my mom's..." Jaemin answered meekly.
"I found out last Thursday. When you saw us fighting at her apartment, that was when I caught her doing drugs. I was trying to--, fuck, I was trying to throw it away and then she got angry and started to talk about you. I guess she felt that you were by the door and started to talk about you.." Jaemin remembers that clear as day. The day you visibly changed right in front of his eyes.
"She left Sacred Heart last year because of the scandal. It hit her so bad, and that's when it started. She was introduced to drugs and later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Me and Jeonghan knew her from our childhood and we did our best to help her. And then she went out with Jeonghan and that's when our falling apart happened. She broke my brother's heart and I can't even blame her because I know she only did it because she wants everyone to leave her. She thinks she's a burden to everybody. And then Nurse Suh came into the picture and helped her to get free medication, and when she did, eventually her addiction stopped. And then you happened, and for a while she was so happy. But suddenly Nurse Suh cut her off and the medication stopped. That's why she drove you away, Jaemin. You know what she told Jeonghan before she left? She said that you didn't deserve to be with her."
"She can't leave, did you check the apartment?" Denial. Jaemin can't process everything yet. He doesn't want to.
"Her stuff's out of the apartment. We found this," Jiho pulled out a polaroid picture. Jiho reached out to Jaemin, swiftly before letting go of the photo.
"She's a good person, Jaemin. She's just broken. I know you did your best, but we can't help a person who doesn't want to be helped. I just hope you don't hate her forever." Jiho then walked away.
Jeno, Haechan and Renjun was silent. They didn't say anything, not to disturb their friend's moment of silence. One by one, the left the room, leaving Jaemin and a photo that had a glimpse of a moment where you were once his.
It was the picture of you and Jaemin. Happily smiling. Upon seeing the photo, Jaemin finally broke down.
At the back, there was something written.
Hi, Jaem. Thank you for the food you've been sending! Although I didn't eat it, I still know that it's delicious!! Remember when we talked about photography? How I love people's smile? Guess what? I think yours is my favorite. So please keep wearing it. You're precious, Jaem. I am so sorry for everything. I hope you get the love that you deserve. Do me a favor and forget me, will you? -y/n :)
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
"Is it on?" Jaemin was a giggling mess, infront of you as you filmed him beside you on your bed, nothing but the sheets.
"It is! Okay, ladies and gents,--"
"This man right here," You booped his nose, "Just gave me a mind blowing orgasm about.. hm, six minutes ago?" Jaemin laughed at the camera, before wiggling his eyebrows at it. "I did, one of my proudest talents."
"Shut up!" you laughed. "Anyways, Mr. Jaemin-ssi. Tell the whole world your age and what you want to be when you grow up!" You giggled, focusing the camera on his bare face. His eyes heavy, smile reaching his eyes.
"22, and yours." He whispered as he looked at your eyes instead of the camera lense.
"What? You barely said anything!"
"I just did what you told me, baby. I told my whole world what my age was and what I wanted to be." Jaemin can see the sudden rush of color on your cheeks. You frowned cutely.
"You're a loser." A tinge of smile you desperately hid made Jaemin laugh. He likes it when you pretend you don't like his corny takes.
Jaemin then grabbed the camera, now turned it to you, also nothing but the sheets and bare face. Jaemin is convinced this is what heaven must look like.
"Now to my pretty interviewer-- aren't you gorgeous?" You jokingly cleared your throat, smiled so big that it could make anyone blind.
"Hi, I'm y/n, Jaemin's pretty interviewer."
"So, my pretty girl. 5 years from now, how do you see yourself?" You were a bit unprepared with Jaemin's question, he sees it the way your smiles faltered a bit.
It took you a minute before you answered, "Better. I hope I can be better so I can take care of this little manchild." You somehow turned it light, grabbing the camera from Jaemin and pointing at him.
"Well, y/n from 5 years from now, I'm glad-- I hope, I'm still there by your side."
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
"Yeri, I've told you a hundred times, she's my mother so you need to treat her with respect!" Jaemin can't help but yell, just as he followed Yeri out of the restaurant.
"She doesn't like me, Jaemin! Gosh your mother is so-, I'm not dealing with her shit anymore, Jaemin!" Yeri yelled back, stomping her feet as she walked toward's Jaemin's car.
Yeri is Jaemin's girlfriend for four months. He went out with her upon his father's request and to his mother's dismay. His father thought Jaemin could finally settle down with a woman after you.
Jaemin can't help but grunt, looking up, frustrated and honestly just tired. Everyday he questions why he's even with Yeri. The girl did nothing but drain his wallet, disrespect his mother and treat him like a trophy boyfriend.
"She's not allowed in our apartment anymore," Yeri said as she settles herself on Jaemin's passenger seat.
"What apartment? It's my apartment and you sleep there, Yeri. And you can't just-- ban my mother from my place!" Jaemin has already forgotten the time where him and Yeri never argued.
"Did you see the way she looked at me? And you're gonna sit there and not defend me?" Jaemin admits that his mother did have a distaste with his girlfriend, but never once did his mother did anything to show that. She is not that kind of person and Jaemin's sure he's not the only one to vouch for that.
"She was trying to make a conversation and you blatantly ignored her, Yeri."
"I didn't like her tone." she rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone as Jaemin drove. He decided not to talk anymore, mostly because he doesn't want to argue anymore.
"What're we doing here?" Yeri saw that he parked outside her apartment complex.
"I need time for myself, Yeri. I can't handle you anymore." He expressed with utmost respect.
"Are you kidding me? You're kicking me out of your place?!" Yeri squealed, almost making Jaemin cover his ears.
"You can disrespect me but not my mom, Yeri."
Yeri smirked, crossed her arms on her chest, and looked at Jaemin. "You're trash, Jaemin. Such a fucking mama's boy. I bet this isn't even about your mother, huh? Still about that bitch who left y--"
"Get out or I'm gonna have to drag you out, Yeri. Please." Thankfully, Yeri did get out, but not walking away before she slams the door, making Jaemin flinch a bit. He makes sure the Yeri actually went in the building before he drove off.
He pulled out his phone, texting his mom. He decided that he'll just go back to the restaurant and apologize for Yeri's behavior. He knew that his mom was hurt, and he can't let the night pass without comforting his mom.
Luckily, the restaurant is near where he was so it took him about ten minutes to go back. Getting out of his car, he wondered if his parents are still there.
Looking further inside the restaurant, he didn't notice someone walking out the door so inevitably, he bumped and collided with a man. He quickly bows, "I'm sorry, man."
"No worries," Jaemin was a bit perplexed on how deep the man's voice is, but shrugged it off anyways.
"Felix!"
Jaemin felt his heart stop a beat. He knows that voice.
"I'm here," The man responded.
Jaemin was frozen on the spot. He was afraid to look behind him and put a face in to the voice he just heard, but he's sure as hell he's not leaving this spot without knowing who it is.
"Excuse me," This time, the woman was much closer to him as she walked pass Jaemin.
His breath hitched, time slows down as he saw the back of her head.
Before she could even take a step further, Jaemin grabbed her wrists, not thinking of anything,-- just the fact that he desparately wanted to see her face.
"Hey!-- What,-- Jaemin?"
There you are.
Jaemin gulped before blinking to see if he was just hallucinating but there you really are. "Y/N," he whispered, more to himself.
"You know him?" The man, who he assumes was Felix, asked, looking at Jaemin's hands on your wrist. It brought Jaemin back to reality, and swiftly let go of your hand.
"Y-yeah," Your cheeks burned, not letting your eyes away from Jaemin. It was like everyone else blurred out, and you two were the only ones in the room.
"You okay, man?" Thats when Jaemin realized that his jaw was actually a bit slacked, staring at you for a solid minute now. He shook his head to look at Felix,
"Yeah. Uh, y/n, how-- how are you?" Jaemin's breathing was starting to get abnormal, as he was really shocked to see you here.
"Good," you cleared your throat, "Great, actually. Uhm, Felix, this is Jaemin," "Jaemin, Felix." The two shook hands, Felix was still visibly confused but Jaemin was still stuck on you.
"Old friend?" Felix asked.
"Is that what she told you?" Jaemin, glancing on you.
"Yes?" Felix was starting to feel uncomfortable, as he had no clue what the heck is happening in front of him. You two looked perplexed and out of it, to say the least.
"I--, We need to go, Felix. Hey, uhm, Jaemin-?" It was obvious you were aghast, just like Jaemin.
Jaemin looked back at you again, "Yeah?"
"I'll see you around?" You uttered.
"Okay." Jaemin said quietly.
The two started to walk away from Jaemin, but Jaemin was left there frozen. In his own thoughts, drowing in memories about you. Everything came crashing back on him and it was overwhelming. After so long, you still had that power over him. You still manage to get his guard down.
This is fucking dangerous. Jaemin shouldn't even feel like this. One look, one word-- and its like his whole being fell again. Is destiny truly fucking with him? He took so long-- months, to get you out his system. Or at least burn it so deep inside his brain along with the memories you have. And for what? All of it being opened like a freshly sewed wound, all because of a three second interaction?
That night, Jaemin went home with a feeling so familiar. Like he wanted to find you again. Just like the first time he saw you at that cafeteria. He wonders if he'll see you again.
Actually, no. He will make sure to see you again.
---
"You can't break up with me,"
Jaemin sighed, he didn't know what else to do. This was the only way Jaemin thought of, specially after his encounter with you. He knew the effect you had on him that night wasn't the innocent 'seeing your friend after long time' type of thing. He knew there's more to it.
"I'm sorry," and he really is. He didn't want to string Yeri along, and doesn't want to give her false hope that this relationship is going somewhere.
"Is this about your stupid mom? Fine, I'll apologize!" The thing with his mom was also a big thing in coming to this decision. Jaemin likes to think that even if he didn't see you that night, this breakup was inevitable. It was coming, sooner or later.
"Don't-- don't call my mother like that, Yeri, please. And no, there's more to it. Please, I want a clean breakup," Jaemin didn't want to elaborate, he didn't want to hurt Yeri even more.
"You can't leave me, Jaemin! We have a party to attend-- I already told them about you! Do you want me to be embarrassed?" Of course. Of course its about the fucking party.
Jaemin was a trophy for Yeri. Handsome and rich, Yeri bragged about having him in her palms. Jaemin never complained about it but it does bother him. And Yeri bringing it up now just showed him how Yeri never really cared about this relationship.
"You can find a new boy toy, somewhere else, Yeri. I'm done." He's not gonna lie, there's still a pang of guilt when he walked away from Yeri. He knew it was unavoidable, yet it with you in the picture again, it does play a huge part.
"A fucking toast for the newly single man! I'm so proud of you for letting that devil reincarnate go!" Haechan was beyond sober, as he welcomed Jaemin who just came a few minutes earlier.
"You really did it, huh?" Renjun smiled, putting his arm around Jaemin's shoulder.
"Yeah, I guess." Jaemin shrugged. Every moment feels important to him. He doesn't have any idea when you'll show up again. So he better not drink even a drop of alcohol, just in case.
"Why the long face?" Jeno was buzzed aswell, completely leaning on the bar couch. Eyes barely open, he's been drinking quite a lot lately.
"Nothing," Jaemin doesn't want to say anything about you and his' encounter, he didn't want to jinx it.
The bar was loud and busy, yet Jaemin was quiet and stuffy. He does feel relieved, breaking up with Yeri was a huge weight off of his shoulder. But he can't get off his mind the words you said.
"I'll see you around?"
Where exactly is around? When will you see him? Is it in the same restaurant? Will you text him to meet? Is that Felix guy your boyfriend?
"You're such a bore, Jaemin. Not even a shot?" Its a mystery how Jeno managed to stand on his feet with how drunk he is but he still did, handing Jaemin a shot, which Jaemin refused.
"Not in the mood,"
"Whatever. Y'know, eversince that gi-"
Before Jeno could even finish, Renjun, which had a little to zero alcohol in his system quickly pulled Jeno down beside him.
"I'll sew your mouth close, Lee. Now sit down and let me fucking find the other Lee." He was referring to Haechan, which also is drunk out of his mind, but still ran into the sea of people on the dancefloor.
"I need a breather," Jaemin decided to go outside the bar, but making sure that Jeno is well situated first before leaving the poor man laying in the couch.
In every other situation, he would've loved to match Jeno's energy and got drunk as much as his best friend, but this time he is truly not in the best condition to do so.
As soon as the bar's door closed behind him, the sudden silence was almost deafening. Which Jaemin wouldn't tell if its much worse than being inside, since he was left with only his thoughts and the street in front of him.
He crossed the road into a nearby convenience store, wanting some water or any drink that could possibly soothe his mind.
"Thank you," He bowed to the cashier, as he paid for the drink in hand.
The store was empty. Just him, the staff, and some random music quietly surrounding the store.
He sat by the stools, contemplating if he should just go home. Phone dead, he disregarded the idea of calling Renjun, who he is sure would prefer to be with him in this quiet convenience store rather than to babysit two grown adults who can't seem to handle their alcohol.
Dropping the phone on the side of the table, Jaemin quietly opened and drank the coca cola he bought. He just now realized that this was his dinner. He forgot to eat. Funny, Jaemin being a big advocate of not skipping a meal, skips a meal.
The dingling sound of the door was heard, Jaemin never bothered to look because again, this is a 7/11. People come and go. A slight set of footsteps was also prominent, seemingly roaming around the store.
"Can I sit here?"
Wide eyes, heart skipping a beat. The music was suddenly gone and everything else blurred out.
"Y-Y/N." He stuttered. He can't swiftly grasp the situation before you sat down the stool beside him.
"Hi." Your hair a bit shorter, cheeks a bit fuller, carrying a shade of pink, your figure covered with a thick coat.
You placed a couple of kimbap in front of you and a coca cola, same as his.
"What are you doing here?" Jaemin, carefully picking his choice of words as to not show any signs of discomfort.
"I was passing by and.. actually, no. I followed you here." For a moment there, you sounded like you wanted to lie, but backtracked and told Jaemin the truth.
"Did you now?" Jaemin remembered when he followed you that one time, and it feels like the tables have turned.
"Yeah, figured we needed to talk." You were timid, can't barely see Jaemin eye to eye. From his memories, you were always confident with what you say. So seeing this demeanor in front of him was a change.
"How are you?" Jaemin asked, genuinely curious.
"Never been better," You answered back, with a full chest and a heave of deep breath like you were relieved.
"I'm glad," Every last word was quickly followed by a complete silence.
After a few moments of deep thought, Jaemin wasn't sure what to say. Yes, before you showed up, questions was flooding in his brain. Asking for answers on why you left, why'd you lie and most importantly, why did you break him for no reason.
Jaemin's thoughts mustve been loud, hence the next dentence that came out of your lips.
"I'm guessing you have questions?"
Maybe Jaemin should've had a few shots before, to ease the tension and gain liquid courage, because fuck, he doesn't think he can handle this tonight.
But for the months you were gone, Jaemin isn't gonna pass this rare chance that you showed up, much more, showing up to talk to him properly.
"Why'd you leave?" Three words that circulated Jaemin's mind on those months you were gone. A question he asked himself a lot of times.
You were still for a bit, likely thinking about the answer. Jaemin could explode at any moment, he feels.
"I signed myself up for rehabilitation."
This wasn't the answer Jaemin expected. Its somehow a blow, to him, because he was angry at you for flaking on him for no reason. But now that you answered one of the many questions he had, it made Jaemin regret some of the things he had thought of about you. His guilt crept in.
"I-, I didn't know."
"Only a few knew about that. You were one of the unlucky ones to have suffered from it, so I thought you needed atleast an explanation." You smiled bitterly, still looking outside, whilst Jaemin looked at your side profile.
You continued. "I assume Jiho had filled you up with some of my dilemmas after I left. But trust me, Jaemin. I never intended to hurt you. You're so undeserving of the things I did but I had to make you hate me. I knew you cared for me back then, more than I had anticipated and I never really wanted to give myself that. I knew I can't receive love I didn't deserve. And I can feel it too, Jaem.." you paused.
Jaem. Oh how he missed the way you called him that.
".. I can feel that you really wanted to fix me. And you truly tried your best. But back then I didn't want to be fixed. And its unfair to have you selfishly. I never slept with your friend, I just made you believe that. I wanted you to despise me, to never think about me ever again." Well, you failed on that part, big time.
"Just hoped you gave me a chance to take care of you," Jaemin muttered.
"I'm not that evil to give you a burden like that,"
"You were never a burden to me,"
You let out a humourless grin, "I'd like to believe that, but we both know that's not true. For as long as I remember, I had been apologizing for just.. existing."
"I could've been there, y/n. I could've helped you."
"No, Jaemin. I don't think so, cuz even then, I couldn't even help myself." You spoke with great sincerity.
Another cruel moment of silence passed, and it was the most intense yet. None of you spoke, as if your thoughts were connected and understood each other without even saying a word.
"You really fucked me up, you know." It was now or never for Jaemin. Might as well open the can of worms now, and regret everything later. He might not have the same courage and opportunity as now.
"I did. And I'm so.. so sorry."
"But it's fine, y/n. I was young and naive, I guess I needed that. I already forgave you, fuck it, I don't even need to because I never truly hated you. All I did was love you, and even after you broke me, I still did." Looking into the distance, after so many failed attempts, he finally said it out loud. He was ready to risk it all, again.
"And I knew that, Jaemin. And maybe, I did love you too but back then I didn't know what love is. It was so scary and overwhelming that even from a distance, I already despised that kind of feeling."
"Are you... happy?" Jaemin thought about the man you were with. And at this moment, your answer was crucial, as it was a defining moment of what step or path he should go next.
"Yes. Are you?" Looking at him, you saw his eyes fill with unspoken comprehension of what its like to be happy and sad at the same time.
Happy that you're doing great, sad because he had just accepted the fact that you're much better with somebody else.
"I have no idea." And that was the truth. He wasn't sure if theres a word that could describe how he feels.
"Yeri, right? I heard from someone that you're with her. She seems great," Oh, what a great timing.
"We broke up already."
You widen your eyes and smiled awkwardly, "I'm sorry,"
"No, its okay. It wasn't working anyways. It was bound to happen sooner or later. You and Felix?"
"He's a great friend. He helped me with sobriety and therapy." Friend? Is that so?
"I thought you were dating," Jaemin liked the way this is going, it gave him hope.
"No, not really, never had anyone after you."
Is Jaemin supposed to be proud? Nonetheless, he felt a slight flutter in his chest. He was about to make a decision that will ultimately trash the imaginary walls he tried to build.
"Have.. have you thought about what we could've been?" Oh, what a risky question.
"Yeah, even back then, I always dreamed about an alternate universe where I wasn't so fucked up and actually tried something with you." Okay. You seem fine now, you seem on track. It wouldn't hurt to try again, right? Jaemin wanted to slap himself. Do he really want to risk it again?
"You could still.. try." The answer is yes.
You furrowed your brows, tilted your head a bit, "I don't think you deserve another heartbreak, specially from me, you know?" You chuckled, yet Jaemin was serious. This time, he's set to have you. He has to have you.
"I'll gladly let you break my heart again, y/n. Trust me, you'll only find yourself inside."
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
Maybe Jaemin was setting himself up for another heartbreak, but this time he was certain. He was certain to give it his all-- everything he has to lose. You were worth every piece of his heart.
He kissed your lips like he held his entire life on it, like every moment were his last. Running your hands on his hair, you two blindly roamed around your apartment. Luckily, Jaemin still had the entire apartment sketched in his brain.
You felt his hands lower, lifting up your ass, signaling you to jump and cling onto him. You gladly did, and like a feather, he lifted you without any struggle. Lips still tangled together, Jaemin lowered you into the soft texture of your bed.
"I missed you so much," Jaemin groaned as he parted his lips from you. Seeing your face against the dimly lit room was majestic. Not long before he lowered his face onto your neck, giving it open mouth kisses that sent shivers down your spine.
Slowly, he tugged on your shirt upwards, lifted it and revealed your soft pink laced bra, covering your breast. Jaemin didn't waste time grabbed one of you breast, caressing it gently, just enough to bring you pleasure without discomfort.
"Hmm, I missed this," He groaned again.
You whined, being sensitive to every touch he gave you. His hands worked like magic, pulling down your bra and swiftly latching his mouth on your left nipple, while still caressing the other. "Ah, fuck.. baby." you moaned.
You can feel your core dripping already, desperate for any kind of friction. His expert hands left your boob, yet not leaving your skin, just lowering to the area you were sensitive the most. In a split second, your pants was undone and a cold breeze on your center gave you goosebumps all over. "So wet for me,"
"Yes.. yes, please, touch me." You begged for him. You needed him.
"You don't need to beg, princess." Just then, his middle finger applied pressure on your dripping core, igniting a spark that felt so good-- you couldn't help but buck your hips onto his hands.
He was gonna love you, and you were gonna love him. Tomorrow's uncertain, but today was sure. You were meant to be his, and he's meant to be yours.
Let your heart get what it wants. If you get hurt, then you have to endure. Jaemin endured the entire time and its your time to gamble.
While Jaemin was still devouring every inch of your skin, you took this chance to touch his clothed member- already rock hard, seeking freedom from the confinement of his pants. You traced it before gripping it through the fabric, making Jaemin hiss in pleasure.
"Take.. it off." Barely composing a sentence, Jaemin understood the assignment and pulled away, to undress himself. His top came off first, and just like a reflex, your hands quickly find his toned chest, down to his abs. You can't help but bite your lip, seeing his body again after so long. The only difference is, this time, he has a more mature build.
Tracing your hand down to his lower abdomen, and even much lower, and helped him undo his pants. As he disregarded all of his clothes, he didn't waste time and quickly lowered himself again to you. Kissing you with burning passion, he grind his hips onto yours, and you felt his hard length poking your thigh.
Using your hand, you grabbed it by the base, Jaemin reacting so sensitive made you excited. Your hands doing up and down motion, pointing finger tracing the slit on his pinkish tip.
"Fuck.. fuck baby, god." Jaemin couldn't help but groan deeply, urging you to move faster. Your movement all of a sudden halt, as Jaemin held your wrist, stopping you. "I'm gonna cum if you keep doing that." His dark voice whispered.
"Already?" You smirked at him.
"You underestimate your effect on me, baby." Truly, you were the only person who could melt Jaemin into a puddle if you wanted to.
His hand balancing himself on top of you, as the other held his cock, lining himself onto your entrance.
"Ah.. ah, shit," You moaned, caused by the stretch. A slight tinge of pain but quickly replaced by a wave of intense pleasure as he deeply plunges until you take all of him.
"So.. so fucking tight, oh fuck." Jaemin waited for your signal to keep moving. Which you did, by lifting your hips up to create any sort of movement. He swiftly pull out, just to go in again.
"I love you," Jaemin cried from pleasure, his tempo slowly gaining speed.
"I love you so much," you replied, grabbing his face to look at you as he fucks you with intense affection.
"Y/n, y/n.. I love you." He repeated like a mantra, going in and out repeatedly. You can feel your insides creating a bubble-- soon going to pop. He examines all of your features, "Cum for me." He murmured.
You nodded in response, biting your lip, yet not losing eye contact. A sudden wave of pleasure struck, and before you knew it, you're shaking under him. "I.. I love you."
"I'm cumming, shi..." You locked your legs on his waist, as he stilled so deep, reaching levels of your insides no one has ever reachex before. He cums, deep inside you and you felt his warm, thick ropes of cum paint your insides. His body collapses on top of you, heavy breathing surrounded the apartment.
Honestly, Jaemin didn't care if you hurt him again, Heck, break him again and again. Run away if you can, but he would make sure that he'll be here, always waiting for you. Break his heart for all he cares. You'll only find yourself there.
"Let's go, baby. They can't wait to meet you." Jaemin smiled at you softly, opening the car door before letting you in.
"I really get the feeling that they hate me." You nervously said, as Jaemin went around the car and sat at the driver seat.
"They actually did, back then. But now they're a lot less dumber." You laughed at him.
This was the first time Jaemin will introduce you to his friends. Even tho you knew that they already know you from the past, you wanted to introduce your new self. The self thats much better.
As you arrived at their shared apartment, you can already hear the noise behind the door. You looked at Jaemin with anticipation, as he opened the door.
"There she is! Hi, y/n!" Haechan, which you have encountered before, greeted you with a big smile. He was approaching with wide arms, which Jaemin quickly swats away.
"No." Jaemin simply says as he put his arms around you and dragged you further in the house.
There, you saw Jeno and Renjun playing Jenga. As soon as you sat down, the tower had fallen. Renjun frowning, Jeno with a big smile.
"Oh hi, y/n. Renjun just lost in Jenga, again." The cocky grin was present in Jeno's face.
"That doesn't count! We should play again, this time with y/n!"
You were quiet, but not because you were uncomfortable, but because you were slowly digesting everything. You felt so belonged with these people that its felt a bit weird, in a good way.
You smiled at them, looking back at Jaemin who's walking towards you with a drink in hand. "Thirsty, baby?" His smile was enchanting, and so, so gorgeous.
The time goes on and it all felt natural. It was the first time you saw Jaemin laugh that much, and it made you happier than ever. Then and there, you have concluded that you will never hurt this man again. This time, you'll try to make this work, because you knew he was the only one for you.
And even if the gods and the heaven above curse you for loving selfishly, you wouldn't care. Jaemin is the perfect man for you. And you can't let that smile fade again.
"What're you thinking?" Jaemin whispered, above all the noise from his friends.
"I love you."
And if you thought Jaemin's smile couldn't get any bigger, it did.
"I love you." He answered.
This time, you'll get your happy ending. You choose your happiness and Jaemin. Forever, you will choose Jaemin. Because you realize that after everything, even fiction itself, got nothing on this man.
-end-
A/N: I know it took so long to publish but again, I'm a bit busy! But how was it?? I hope you liked the first installation of my series, diary of the heart breakers! Thank you so much.
taglist: @cutiepeas @legbouk@hyuckissed @bockhyun @hibernatinghamster@shookyungsoo@sundamariis@sharkipoonis@ohmykwonsoonyoung@carelessshootanonymous
next part >> Inevitably Yours
#nct imagines#kpop imagines#nct x reader#kpop oneshots#nct#nct dream#kpop au#nct 127#nct aus#na jaemin#jaemin smut#nct jaemin#nctzen#nct mark#nct drabbles#nct fluff#lee haechan#huang renjun#lee jeno
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bday party girlie and matty at the met gala! and charli and george too!
girls stun while the boys simp and cause mayhem
MAYHEM MENTIONED???? nah fr though i love thinking about this, especially if it's like the first Big event you and matty go to as a couple. i haven't yet moved on from that time matty was working with dior, so in my mind that's who you're both wearing, and god knows you analysed the essay/story they gave as theme inspiration within an inch of its life because "there is no way in HELL i am letting some tiktok twink call my dress off-theme. not a fucking chance" - matty is so fucking entertained by that, all ":D i love you so much" lol, and there's also no way in hell you're letting him turn up in a black suit, so that's that. anyway!! your outfits aren't matching, but they do correspond perfectly together, and actually you assume you'll barely get a wink of sleep the night before the met because you're so fucking excited to see your boyfriend all dressed up and hot, but he tires you out enough (wink wink) that you're both very well-rested. and matty's SO cute while you're getting ready - he's documenting it all on video like "an angel! glowing! most gorgeous woman in existence!", and you're like "baby please stop making me giggle my foundation will crease" (but actually you very much enjoy him just sitting shirtless and wet-haired and looking at you lovingly. you're only human, after all). he actually tears up when he sees you completely ready for the first time, which your MUA gets on video, and you really do feel like the prettiest girl in the world when he sniffles like "christ, you are SO beautiful. i love you. and i'm honoured to do that", bless him. and GOD, matty looks amazing, all curls and slut hoop and clean-shaven face and the colour of his shirt making his skin glow, so you have to take approximately eight million pics of and with him before you can leave. in terms of walking the carpet, you start alone and then go up the stairs and take pics together (matty's adamant he's helping you up the steps in your heels "just so you don't have a jason derulo moment, babe"), and it's testament to how truly happy matty is to be with you that he smiles for almost every pic you take together; there are a couple where you whisper "baby. i think we should be cunty" and it's both of you smizing/giving blue steel lmfao, but most are just big smiles for the camera and tender glances at each other where it is so blisteringly obvious that you're in love. they split up couples at the dinner section of the met, but it's still nice getting to meet people you think are cool at your table (zendaya! she likes your dress! she said she had your first book recommended to her and loved it!), and you sneak off to hang out with your boyfriend in the toilets (iconic, really) or the smoking area. and of course you run into charli and george - literally, the boys aren't looking where they're going and walk into each other and find it absolutely hilarious - and take some (illegal!) pics; once again, george is like "we really are punching above our weight with the girls, aren't we? look how good they look" to matty while you and charli force them to take pics of you together, and matty's literally like "yeah..." in a daze just looking at you lmfao. and if you think he's simping now, well, seeing you in your minidress for the afterparty is SO MUCH WORSE - he's jaw-on-the-floor like "must we go? i can't just keep you all to myself?", and you're like "we have to go, but i do actually plan on clinging to you on and off the dancefloor the whole night", and needless to say he's convinced lol. the events are so much fun, but your favourite bit is getting back to the hotel and ordering room service to eat in bed with the love of your life, before giggling in the shower with him while you wash each other's hair, and then falling asleep curled up safe in his arms. perfect <3
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My Little Decoy
A StevexReaderxBucky Messy Triangle
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Another story for Patreon! So, for this one, I'm a bit anxious (when am I not?), because this definitely took off in the complete opposite direction of what I initially planned. That being said, I hope you all enjoy it!
Thank you as always to @fuckingbye for the amazing moodboard, I love you to bits for literally everything you do! I was in the middle of updating three other stories when this idea came to me, so please just work with me! (I'm so sorry I'm like this.)
Anywho, here we go!
Word Count: 34,776 (I'm not even gonna apologize anymore)
Warnings: Honestly, this entire fucking story. SMUT (MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY), Threesome, Lying, Infidelity, Emotional Cheating, Swearing, Drinking, Infertility, Family Drama, Angst, Lusting, Daddy Kink, Running Away, Tie Play, Cuff Play, Crying, Fluff, Best friends to lovers...that's all I can think of? They're honestly so many.
Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: Don't Look So Blue, You Should've Seen Right Thru, I'm Using You, My Little Decoy
Summary: You truly do have the best intentions when you try to move on and suppress your feelings for your best friend Steve, and try to move on with Bucky. Unfortunately, life doesn't give a damn about intentions. Neither does love.
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I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to get posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.
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You wonder how the hell it got to this point in the first place as you lay in Steve’s soft bed sheets. What feels like it should be a quiet moment of peace is juxtaposed with your current reality; Bucky pounding on the front door and you and Steve conspiring to think of some kind- any kind- of excuse.
You truly don’t understand how it got to this.
It all feels like it started so long ago. You didn’t even know 6 years could feel so fast, much less pass so quickly. You look around at where you are now, at Steve, as you listen to the shaking of the front door against Bucky’s fist as he continues thumping away. Fuck. What if memories lie? Maybe it is that long ago.
~~
6 Years Earlier...
“Babe, you ever had a night out in the city?” Bucky asked as you took off your gear.
Training was brutal and everyone was looking for a way to relieve stress. You knew The Avengers were all planning to meet up at some club downtown, but you had other plans.
“I have, and as much fun as it can be, I have other plans,” you laugh as you take your hair out of the tightest ponytail you’d ever had it in.
“Oh? What are you getting into?” Natasha laughs, making her way over with Bruce holding onto her as if he’d lose her.
“My friend’s band is playing tonight. I promised her I’d go if we finished up early enough.”
“Oh, this I gotta see!” Bruce chimes in as you laugh and shake your head. “You never let us have a peak into your personal life!”
“God, I haven’t been to a show in forever,” Natasha chimes in with raised eyebrows.
He wasn’t wrong. You played everything so close to the chest; wanting to keep those you love and care for the most safe...wanting to keep yourself safe. Since none of them were relenting (not to mention they’re the damn Avengers), you finally agreed and told them to meet you outside of your room at the compound in about two hours.
“Is it too late for me to get in on this?” Steve asks just as the group was about to disperse.
“There you are!” Bucky interjects before anyone has a chance to say anything. “Y/N is giving us a peak into her personal life! We’re all meeting at her place in two hours and going from there,” he laughs patting his best friend on the back.
Steve looked at you with a cocked eyebrow and you just laugh and nod, giving him the ‘OK’ to tag along. Unbeknownst to the others, you and Steve hung out the most. No, he’d never been privy to your personal life, but you two spent a lot of time watching movies and listening to music together on the weekends. Occasionally, Bucky would get in on the action, but it was mainly you and Steve. You and Steve had a certain level of comfort that you didn’t have with the rest of them. It was more of an unspoken, private thing and that’s how the both of you preferred it. You both understood each other, and neither of you ever made the other feel sad or out of place for things that had gone wrong in each other’s past. You both had wounds you were still healing from, and you gave each other the space needed for that to happen.
You’d always had a thing for Steve. He kept himself at a distance, so it was difficult for you to tell if he ever felt the same. After a while, you’d stopped trying and just accepted him as a friend. He told you that he’d wanted to go back and stay with Peggy, but he was too afraid to leave Bucky on his own again, so he’d come back instead. He wasn’t even sure if Bucky would ever be okay with being alone; Steve just stayed without asking him. It seemed like the right thing to do, and he didn’t hate the current timeline too much.
Soon enough, everyone is in your small little complex, drinking and laughing as you put together the last bit of your outfit. The thought of Steve joining all of you had you more anxious than you cared to admit, so you chalked it up to the normal anxiety of inviting your work colleagues into your personal life.
Which was more than fair.
“I’m sure you look amazing, lets go! I’m too excited for this!” Natasha hollers as she makes her way into your bedroom.
“Nat!”
“Oh, they’re all in there drinking away! You’re fine,” she laughs, closing the door behind her. “Well shit!”
“I swear to God, I’ll change right now!”
“No! You look amazing!” she promised as her hands covered her mouth. “None of us have ever seen you out of work clothes, and babe...you look amazing,” she laughs in shock.
“Should I change? I don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea-”
“If you’re comfortable, who cares. No one wants to interfere with your personal life. I think we’re all more afraid of pushing you away,” she laughs.
“You really think it’s okay?”
“I mean, I think you’re hot as fuck,” she laughed as you rolled your eyes, “but I think you look amazing.”
“You sure?”
“Get enough alcohol in them , they won’t even notice when you leave for the bathroom,” she laughed.
Even though you laughed along with her, you knew better. James Buchanan Barnes kept his attention on you almost as well as Steve, but you never thought anything of it. It always had a more platonic feeling than with Steve, almost more familial.
When you came out, Steve was the first to look at you. His mouth slightly agape was enough to make you wanna go back, but Bucky was quick to chime in-
“Someone is ready for a night out,” he laughed.
That’s all it took.
Soon enough, you were taking shots and laughing with everyone else. Even Pepper and Tony were excited and joined you all. Your life was something so foreign to them, and you could tell that they all felt extremely excited that you trusted them enough.
In all honesty, you felt more comfortable because Steve was there. You knew he’d never let anything happen to you, and you’d never let anything happen to him. If you were being completely honest, you’d only wanted to invite him out. How it spiraled, you’re still not sure but it did. It The only thing that felt off was letting him see you dressed as you were. It was weird for all of them to see you dressed as you were, but Steve couldn’t take his eyes off you.
You were in red plaid crop top, with tight fighting black jeans that hugged your hips in just the right way, and black low top heels. You put your hair in loose curls, and finished it off with eyeliner and mascara. After a brutal day of training, you really didn’t wanna spend forever doing your makeup, because you knew you’d wanna come home after everything was over and go right back to sleep. Yeah, everything was hugging your body in just the right way, but you weren’t about to change.
You were introducing them to your life.
Before you all left, Thor filled three flasks with his mead from Asgard for himself, Steve, and Bucky and you laughed pretty damn hard.
“We wanna enjoy this night too,” he winked at you as you rolled your eyes.
The walk was easy enough, but it felt like it took forever. People kept asking for pictures with the OG Avengers, they had a million questions, and of course they were all happy to be as kind as possible. It’s not that you minded all that much, but you really missed your best friend. Work had been kicking your ass, she had been extremely busy, and was in the middle of planning her wedding. Nights off were extremely rare, but actually getting to see her and her friends perform? It had been forever.
“You made it!” she squealed once you were finally inside the club with everyone, almost knocking you over with how hard she hugged you.
“I told you I’d show! Even if I would’ve only caught the last song,” you laughed as you hugged her back just as tight. “We still on for drinks after?”
“Fuck yes! Your tits look amazing in this top, we’re definitely getting free drinks out of it,” she beamed with a wink and you burst out laughing. “Okay, I’ve seen all of you on TV, but I still wanna officially meet everyone,” she smiled at everyone. “I’m Meg.”
As everyone went around introduced themselves, you made your way to the bar, to grab your signature Jack and Coke.
“Hell yes! You made it!” Meg’s finance, Paul, beamed as he made your drink.
“Why is everyone so shocked that I’m here?!”
“You haven’t been to a show in years!”
“Blah, blah, blah,” you muttered as you reached behind the bar and grabbed his pack of cigarettes.
“You bring the Avengers with you and you dare to steal from me?” he sneered sarcastically as he handed you your drink.
You laughed as you reached across the bar and kissed his cheek, “I’m sure our friendship will survive it.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Dude, I had no idea the place would be so packed tonight.”
“I have a feeling everyone here had a long ass Friday.”
“Yeah, well they better treat my baby right.”
“You two!”
He rolled his eyes as he flipped you off, “enjoy the show!”
“Thank you, Paaauuullll,” you sang out as everyone joined you.
You looked up to see Steve staring at you intently, and he quickly turned towards the stage when he realized he was caught. Before you could allow yourself to think on it or feel flattered, you heard your best friend yell from the stage as she started to make her guitar scream.
“We’re ‘Flowers of Cinnamon’, and thanks for spending your Friday night with us!”
From that moment on, you were barely paying attention to your surroundings. With the exception of your drink, you didn’t focus on anything other than your best friend rocking the fuck out. It had always just been a hobby for her, but she had always been so damn good at it. You envied how effortlessly performing came to her. The band was a cross between Paramore, The Bangles, and All Time Low, and they were just as amazing as you remembered. You wouldn’t have been able to stay still even if you’d wanted to. You sang and danced along to every song, bouncing around, and screaming your head off. You had no clue that Steve had been watching you with the biggest grin on his face, Bucky had been watching your chest bounce up and down, or that Tony had been recording your reaction to your best friend’s music, smiling so hard at your happiness.
Every other song, your best friend made eye contact with you and laughed, and nothing else seemed to matter. Thinking back on it, you wished it had, because maybe things wouldn’t have gotten so fucked up, but you were just so damn happy. The more drinks got, the more you danced and sang around, finally feeling comfortable and happy, even with your new set of friends watching you.
“Okay, this is gonna be our last song for the night,” Meg smiled into the microphone and she laughed at amount of “boos” they received. “Listen, I wanna get fucked up too!” she joked, gaining laughs from the crowd. “Okay, so tonight is extremely special because my best friend on the entire planet is here and brought her friends with her! Thanks babe! So, our last song is gonna be a cover of one of her favorite songs ever,” she winked at you as you cocked an eyebrow.
As soon as you heard the first cord of ‘Decoy’ by Paramore hum out of the speakers, you screamed so loud that everyone in your group (and Paul) started laughing.
‘Close your eyes and make believe that this is where you wanna be
Forgetting all the memories, try to forget love cause love’s forgotten me
Well hey, hey baby, it’s never too late
Pretty soon you won’t remember a thing
All I’ll be distant, the stars reminiscing
Your heart’s been wasted on me’
You sang along so effortlessly as you started to jump up and down.
‘You’ve never been so used as I’m using you, abusing you
My little decoy
Don’t look so blue, you should’ve seen right through
I’m using you, my little decoy
My little decoy’
You linked arms with Nat, who clearly didn’t know the song, but was more than happy to sing and dance along with you. You glanced around and it made you so happy to see everyone else happy and having a good time. It’s not like you were a stick in the mud at work but, you never let loose. Even when it came to holiday and birthday parties, you were pretty damn reserved. The only person who can claim that they’ve seen you fucked up is Steve, and even then it was just you being wine drunk on the sofa while you two listened to albums and discussed work.
No, this was you letting lose and everyone accepting it. Accepting you. You looked over at Steve and he a look of pure love and adoration in his eyes, and it made your heart swell.
God, you wished you would’ve paid more attention to the way both he and Bucky looked at you that night, but you were just so damn happy and having so much fun.
If you could turn back time...
“Am I still okay at singing?” Meg asked once she finally made her way over to all of you.
“Dude, you’re still fucking amazing!” you beamed as you wrapped her in a tight hug and she laughed. “That was so good! Thank you for playing ‘Decoy’, almost making me cry!”
“Aha!” she teased before she looked at everyone else. “What about Earth’s mightiest heroes? Were you all able to tolerate it?”
“That was amazing,” Tony laughed, Pepper nodding in agreement.
“Why don’t you do this full time?” Nat asked as you waived Paul down and got another drink for both you and Meg.
“If I did this full time, I’d be so stressed all the damn time,” Meg laughed, “I’m much happier painting.”
“What do you paint? Do you have a studio?” Clint inquired and a smile came to your face.
Things were going better than you could have ever imagined.
As everyone got acquainted, you snuck to have a smoke. A few moments later, a smile came to your face when you saw Steve come out after you.
“You said you’re quitting those,” he nodded towards the cigarette in your hand.
“I stole Paul’s,” you laughed, standing a little further from him so as to not get the smoke in his face.
“I can handle it,” he laughed as he placed his black leather jacket on you. “You’re pretty...exposed and I don’t want you getting cold.”
“Well, aren’t you just the sweetest man?” you teased before you inhaled your cancer stick. “Who else knows about this? I’ll call the ‘New York Times’”
He snickered as he shook his head, “quiet you.”
“Are you having fun tonight?”
“I am, I like you seeing like this.”
You scoffed, “crazy?”
“Happy...content. Secure.”
You felt your cheeks heat up at his words, and the look he gave you along with it, had butterflies appearing in your stomach.
“We should get back inside,” you smiled at up at him as you ashed the last of your cigarette and threw it in the nearby trash bin.
And maybe that’s when it started.
You just missed all the signs that night, because you were convinced Steve didn’t want you.
He convinced you he didn’t want you.
When the two of you got back inside, Paul had just finished up his shift and the guys had finished helping Meg back up her equipment which she had decided to lock up in the manager’s office for the night.
“Dancing! We need dancing!” she whined once her eyes landed on you.
“Hell yeah we do,” you laughed as you linked arms with both her and Nat.
Once again, you didn’t notice the way Bucky ogled you or the way Steve kept a close eye on you. When you all reached the next bar, you instantly ordered more drinks and pulled Nat and Meg onto the dance floor with you, still wearing Steve’s coat. He leaned against the bar, talking with Tony and Pepper, but still kept an eye on you. As Janet Jackson’s voiced filled the giant building, you danced around with the biggest smile on your face (at some point Meg had put her sunglasses on your face), smiling and waiving at Bucky when you saw his eyes glued to you.
Well, glues to your ass.
By the time everyone was ready to call it a night, you were drunk as shit.
“You’re not coming back to the compound?” Nat asked as she stumbled out after you.
“Nah, I wanna sleep in my own space tonight. It’s closer,” you giggled as you started giving out hugs.
“I can take you,” Bucky offered with a slick grin.
“I can take her, she’s on the way to my house,” Steve countered, and Meg cocked an eyebrow at you.
You just started dancing and walking.
“Goodnight everyone! Get home safe! I love you all!”
You were drunk, tired, and in no mood to figure out whatever that was about. You just wanted to go home and get in your bed. You honestly don’t know why you didn’t go back to the compound that night, but it just felt right to go to your own home. You already spent so little time there to begin with. A few moments later, you heard the hurried footsteps of someone behind you, but you kept looking ahead.
“You’re impatient when you’re drunk,” Steve laughed as he came up beside you.
A small smile came to your face at the fact that Steve was the one to walk you home.
You giggled as you leaned into him, “my feet hurt.”
No sooner than you said it, he scooped you up.
“Steve!”
“You weigh nothing, don’t worry about it, darlin.”
“It’s a 30 minute walk!”
“I’m very well aware of where your apartment is.”
“Steve-”
“Hush.”
You pouted but did as you were told, leaned into him, and took in the scent that was all his own. Something between woodsy and fresh cut grass. In your drunken state, he felt like home.
“Why didn’t you want Bucky to take me home?” you asked after a few moments, not missing the way he stiffened a bit.
“He’s a little buzzed and he gets a little handsy and flirty at times. I didn’t want him to bother you.”
You giggled as you took in more of his scent, “you’re literally carrying me, Steve.”
“You said your feet hurt.”
“Are you a little buzzed?”
“I definitely don’t feel sober,” he chuckled softly and you softly sighed at the comfort of rumble in his chest.
“Do you wanna sleepover?”
“I’ll order a car service once I drop you off.”
“Why not order one now?”
“It was weird...everyone hanging out tonight. I feel like we haven’t hung out alone together in a while.”
“Then why not sleepover?”
“Cause I should go home. I don’t wanna accidentally wake you up or something. You worked hard today and you need rest.”
“So did you.”
“Y/N.”
“You’re so weird sometimes, Steve,” you huffed as you laced your hand with his.
“What are you doing?”
“Holding your hand like I’ve done a million times before. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
You rolled your eyes and mumbled, “alright weirdo.”
“I’m not being weird.”
“You’re not being normal.”
He let out a frustrated huff, “did you have fun tonight?”
“So much fun, I’m so happy you came out.”
“I’ve missed you, darlin.”
“I’ve missed you too. Steve?”
“Hmm?”
“Sleepover.”
“Y/N-”
“See? You are being weird. You’ve slept over my place a ton before, in my bed, and it wasn’t weird. What’s so different about tonight?”
He muttered, “so many things.”
“Like what?”
“It’s just been a long night.”
“Fine, whatever. Go home, see if I give a fuck.”
“Hey!”
“You’re being weird and you won’t tell me why. You know I hate when you do that shit.”
“I just think I should sleep in my own bed, darlin’. I’m not trying to be weird or make you upset.”
He sounded so strained and you couldn’t read his facial expression, so you couldn’t see how torn up he was. You couldn’t tell how much he was at war with himself.
You couldn’t tell how much he wanted you.
He chuckled when you didn’t say anything, “don’t get quiet on me now.”
“Can you at least stay until I fall asleep? It won’t take long.”
“Everything okay, darlin’?”
“Yeah Steve, I just miss you,” you confessed softly.
“We’ll do a sleepover tomorrow, alright? We’ll have it at my house.”
“Fine.”
“Don’t be upset.”
“I don’t care.”
“You’re also a giant brat when you’re drunk.”
“You’re saying that you miss me, but won’t spend time with me!”
God, you sounded like a brat to your own ears. That was a huge part as to why you’d never let him see you so inebriated. It’s why you never wanted anyone from The Avengers (or S.H.I.E.L.D for that matter) to see you so drunk. It became harder for you to suppress your feelings for Steve, and he’s all you wanted when you were drunk. For reasons unknown to you (at the time), Steve wanted to go home. That should’ve been enough, but your drunk wanted to hold him all night.
You were going out of your way to start an argument.
He let out a heavy sigh as he reached your complex, “I’ll stay-”
“Don’t do me any fucking favors-”
“Will stop arguing with me? And stop with swearing, you know I hate it.”
“Well maybe I hate you.”
He scoffed hard at that, “no you don’t.”
“You don’t know that-”
“Yes I do, so stop saying it. I’ll stay, okay?”
“And you’ll sleep next to me?”
“Yes darlin’, I will sleep next to you.”
You pressed a soft kiss to his neck and you felt his grip on you get tighter, “thank you, Steve!”
“Anything for you, sweetheart.”
That night, he was good to his word and slept next to you, letting use his chest as a pillow and you were asleep almost instantly. The next day, he was back to normal and you didn’t think anything of his behavior from the previous night. You had no reason to. However, from that day on, things did slowly start to change more.
It started with Bucky coming around more, especially when Steve was with you. You couldn’t sense it, because has always been entirely too good at hiding his emotions, but he slowly became frustrated. So much that he basically stopped coming around all together.
“Hey, are you busy?” you asked timidly as you approached his office one day.
“Yeah, unfortunately.”
“Oh...okay then-”
“What’s wrong?”
“No, you’re busy and I don’t wanna take up your time...”
You could feel your eyes welling up and didn’t know why. Steve always had a way of making you so damn soft and vulnerable, and you truly hated it.
You still hate it.
“Darlin’-”
“Please stop calling me that. The guy who started calling me that doesn’t seem to exist anymore. If he does, he’s making sure to stay away from me.”
“He still exists-”
“Then what’s going on? Why are you staying away from me?”
He sighed as he threw down his pen, “nothing-”
“Alright, if you’re just gonna lie to me-”
“I’m not lying!”
“Steve, you saw me walking with Bucky yesterday and literally turned in the other direction and walked away.”
“You guys are just hanging out a lot now and I don’t wanna third wheel-”
“You wouldn’t third wheeling! We’re just friends!”
“Y/N...”
“Steve, why are you just abandoning me? You’re the one I’m closest to and you know that. You’ve always known that,” you sobbed as you closed the door behind you.
“Please don’t cry-”
“Then why are you abandoning me?! What did I do wrong?!”
“Nothing-”
“Then what the fuck?! You’ve been acting so strange, but you’re saying I haven’t done anything! If I didn’t do anything, what the fuck is going on with you?!”
He let out another frustrated sigh and just stared at you, clearly at war with himself.
“Fuck this and fuck you, I give up,” you sobbed as you dried your eyes.
“Darlin’”
“Stop calling me that! I’m just Y/N and you’re just Steve. I can’t do this with you anymore!”
After you stormed out, things only got worse, because you’d never felt so low and alone in your life. Unless it had to do with a mission or training, you barely even looked his way. The farther you got away from Steve, the more Bucky swooped in. In fact, the more you look at how everything happened, you realize that things wouldn’t have gotten so bad if you’d just shut things down with the both of them.
However, it’s not as if thinking with a broken heart ever lead to a good thing.
You cried a lot and Bucky was just there for you. He was sweet, he listened, and let you keep your secrets. Sure, he asked what happened between you and Steve (everyone was), but he dropped it when you told him you wouldn’t be talking about it.
You can’t explain what you don’t know.
“Hey doll, we’re goin’ out tonight. You wanna come? Invite Meg!” Bucky asked one night after you let him in your apartment on the compound.
“Nah, I’ve got a hot date with a black and white French film and a few glasses of wine,” you smiled weakly.
“You can’t stay in here forever.”
“I don’t. Sometimes I go home.”
“Babe-”
“I just wanna stay in, Buck,” you sighed as someone else knocked on your door. “I guess I’m just the most popular girl in the world.”
When you opened it the second time, Steve stood there looking just as upset as you felt. Instead of even trying to attempt to hear him out, a rage flared up inside you and you had to force yourself to not shove him. As far as you were concerned, he had a lot of fucking nerve to show up at your place after all the shit that happened in his office.
“What?”
“I wanted to know if you’re coming out tonight-”
“No.”
“Well, can I come in and we can talk? I know I owe you an explanation-”
“I don’t want an explanation anymore, Steve,” you lied harshly, “I just want you to leave me alone. I stood in your office and cried like a fucking dumbass...that was a month ago. Now you wanna talk? Just leave things as they are.”
You truly wish you hadn’t spoken out of anger because none of it was true. You cried over him whenever you were alone, you missed hanging out with him, you missed falling asleep next to him...you missed Steve. Your Steve.
You’ve always been a hot head.
“Darlin-”
“What have I told you about that?”
“Y/N, just give me a few minutes-”
“No, go away. Unless it has to do with work, we don’t have anything to talk about.”
“You don’t mean that,” he more pleaded than told you.
“I’ve never meant it more!”
“Y/N-”
Bucky sighed as he came up behind you, “she just needs to cool off, Pal.”
If you hadn’t been so upset and hurt you would’ve laughed at how wide Steve’s eyes got.
“We’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”
“I thought you were coming out. It was your idea in the first damn place,” Steve snapped.
“I don’t wanna leave Y/N while she’s this upset. She shouldn’t be alone right now.”
Steve opened his mouth to say something, but all that happened was he clenched his jaw and looked away before he stormed off, punching the wall on his way out.
You should’ve spoken to him. You should’ve gone after him. Instead you pushed past Bucky and made yourself your first glass of wine of the night.
“Babe-”
“Buck, if you’re gonna stay here tonight, please no lectures. I just wanna be upset, okay?”
He just nodded solemnly, “I get it. No lectures, just drinks and weird French movies,” he smirked and you quietly laughed.
Here’s the thing: it’s not that you never found Bucky attractive, you just never thought about him. You were always thinking about Steve. However, at that time, thinking about Steve brought you too much pain and you didn’t want to feel anymore pain for a while. You just wanted to feel numb. You’d rather have nothing, the void, than hold onto the pain Steve’s brought on.
You rested your legs on him when he sat next to you, not thinking anything of it. When he started stroking your leg after the third glass of wine, you still didn’t think anything of it. You only started to pick up on his actions when he squeezed your thigh a little.
“Buck?”
“Yeah doll?”
“What are you doing?”
“Trying to help you relax and feel better.”
“Buck-”
“I’ve never seen you this upset, babe. I just wanna help.”
The thought and the offer were tempting. You couldn’t remember the last time you had gotten off to something other than your vibrator. Of course you’d made subtle advances towards Steve, but he’d clearly turned you down. Plus, the women around the compound did talk. While Bucky had a reputation for being a skirt chaser, he also had a reputation for wearing women out in the best way.
It’s not like you were looking for anything. You just wanted to forget for awhile.
He tested the waters a bit more by sliding his hand further up your leg, waiting to see how you’d respond.
You placed your wine glass on the ground and opened your legs for him a bit, “you just wanna make me feel better?”
“So fuckin’ good, doll,” he husked, as he reached between your legs and easily ripped your panties off, “just lay back and enjoy, baby.”
His movements were slow, but his kisses were desperate. It felt good, but off. Not to mention you felt more guilty with every kiss he gave you, like you were betraying Steve.
‘Fuck Steve,’ you told yourself mentally, ‘he had his chance and he clearly didn’t want it.’
You closed your eyes in a vain attempt to shut out any thoughts of Steve, but that only made his face come to mind. You let out a sound between a moan and a frustrated grunt as you pulled Bucky’s hair.
“Please!”
“Tell me how bad you want it,” he smirked, his hot breath lapped at your pussy.
“So fucking bad, please! Need it!”
“Love seeing you like this,” he cooed, before he dipped down and dove in and his lewd moans filled the room.
This was the moment Bucky became your “decoy”. You didn’t want him in the same way he wanted you, but part of you felt like he didn’t actually give a shit. Since he’d lost Nat to Bruce, Bucky wasn’t ever really looking for a relationship. He liked to play around, entertain a woman (or two) for a few months, then he’d move on. As far as you were concerned, that night was only supposed to be a one time thing.
“F-fuck!” you moaned, doing your best to be in the moment as you lulled your head back while he fucked you with his tongue and massaged your clit with his thumb. “Feels so good, Buck!”
You weren’t lying completely. It’s not as if Bucky was bad at eating you out, he just wasn’t the one you wanted doing it.
You felt him smirk against your folds, and started to grind your pussy against his face, forcing yourself to focus on all the pleasure you felt instead of everything else.
‘Steve doesn’t want you. Steve doesn’t want you. Stop thinking about Steve!’ you told yourself mentally.
When he switched up and started sucking on your clit, he easily pressed two fingers into your soaked folds. You felt the knot in your core tighten and snap.
“FUCK!” you cried out as you came hard and a few tears escaped your eyes.
You hated how the tears weren’t from pleasure, but you masked it well enough as he fucked you through your high.
“Take off that fuckin’ shirt, baby. Let me fuckin’ see you,” he husked as he took off his own shirt and started to undo his jeans.
You were quick to do as he said, taking all of him as you ignored how uncomfortable you felt being so bare beneath him as his mouth glistened with your juices.
You were doing this to feel better, so why weren’t you feeling any better?
“Waited so fuckin’ long, baby,” he groaned as he dipped down and worshiped each of your breasts while his thumb made little circles on your clit.
“Bucky!”
“I know baby, I’m gonna take care of you, gonna take such good care of you,” he moaned before you felt his tongue on the side of your neck, licking up little beads of sweat.
You took a deep breath and told yourself you wanted it as you felt him at your entrance. You wanted Bucky. You just needed to let yourself relax.
“Jesus, you’re fuckin’ tight!” he grunted as he pushed into you.
“Oh fuck!”
“I know you can take me, baby! Your wet little pussy is squeezing me so tight, baby!”
“Please don’t stop,” you whimpered as you wrapped a leg around his waist, trying to hang on to him as he fucked into you hard and fast.
You wanted this. You agreed to this.
He pushed himself up with his metal arm and looked down at you adoringly, “wanted you for so long, doll. Waited for...ah fuck!”
To avoid feeling anymore guilt, you wrapped an arm around him to pull him close and kissed him passionately, moaning into his mouth when you felt him fill you to the brim. He rode out both your highs before he rested his forehead against yours.
“So good, baby. You tired?” he asked, breath still coming heavy.
You just closed your eyes and shook your head no.
“Good girl.”
Bucky kept at it for a while, not feeling any real pleasure until he brought you off (which you had to fake half the time). There was nothing wrong with him. You found him attractive, and you knew that he wanted you, but it just wasn’t what you wanted. All of it felt so hollow and emotionless on your end. You felt like you were acting and Bucky was working his ass off to please you; to make matters worse, your phone kept going off and you knew who it was.
Steve would’ve hated you if he knew what you were doing and who with, but a part of you felt like he already did. When you both were done, Bucky was a gentleman. He pulled your shirt over your head, carried you to bed, and held you close until you both fell asleep.
You didn’t cry until the next day when you woke up alone in an empty apartment. You ignored calls from both Bucky and Steve, and eventually Bucky was the only one texting you.
Something in you knew that Bucky had confirmed his suspicions, and you just knew he was furious. You and Steve both knew Bucky wasn’t a bad guy, he was just a player and Steve never wanted that for you.
Eventually you cracked and called Meg, and cried while you told her everything.
“Well...fuck,” she muttered once you finally got everything out. “Are you sure Steve knows?”
“His calls and texts were incessant until they weren’t. He hasn’t done either in the last 3 hours.”
“Oh yeah no, he definitely fucking knows. Bucky?”
“Bucky went from every 30 minutes to every other hour.”
“Well, what’s wrong with him?”
“Nothing...”
“Except?”
“He’s not Steve.”
“Yeah, but Steve passed up on you, and he was kind of a dick about it. He waited a month until after the office situation? You’ve been showing him your available for how many years? I know you love him, but-”
“I don’t love him.”
“Yeah, cause that’s you’re crying to me about him instead of the skirt chaser that fucked your brains out?”
“Meg.”
“I’m not being insensitive, I’m being honest. Bucky was there last night, clearly wanted you, was with you all night, and all you could think about was Steve. Today, even though Bucky is still texting you, you’re more upset that Steve isn’t because you know he knows. If I were you, I’d be more worried about the guy that’s used to fucking around breaking my heart, than the guy who isn’t,” she sighed.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Steve had his chance, I need to let him go. I’ve been in my room crying all day...I have to stop.”
“Can you?”
“I don’t have much of a choice do I?”
“Babe, if you could end up with Steve, I’d prefer that, but that’s not really an option. Even if he came back, he gave you the run around for a bit. Just focus on you for now and what you want. You always want to make others happy, and you need to focus on you.”
“You’re right. I know you’re right.”
“Do you need me to come over?”
“No, being alone is good for me right now.”
“Alright, I love you, Y/N. It’s gonna be okay.”
You let out a heavy sigh as you sobbed, “I love you,” and hung up.
You ignored Bucky for the rest of the day, feeling guilty about it, but knowing it was for the best. You’d done enough wrong and you truly did need to focus on you and what you wanted.
However, before you fell asleep, you broke down and checked all your texts from Steve.
O Captain, My Captain: Darlin, please just talk to me. I’m so sorry.
O Captain, My Captain: I’m not going out tonight, please just answer me.
O Captain, My Captain: Don’t do anything with Bucky. He’s my best friend, but he’s not worthy of you. He won’t treat you right and you know that.
O Captain, My Captain: Please just answer me.
O Captain, My Captain: If I could take back my actions, I would. I’m so sorry. If you’d just talk to me, I’d be able to make you understand.
O Captain, My Captain: Please talk to me. I miss you so much.
O Captain, My Captain: I’m going to sleep, but give me a call whenever.
O Captain, My Captain: Seriously? All night and you’re still not talking to me?
O Captain, My Captain: Baby, please just talk to me. We’ve never gone this long without talking, and I fucking hate it.
O Captain, My Captain: Y/N...please.
O Captain, My Captain: Bucky just left. You’ve made yourself loud and clear, and fine. I got it.
O Captain, My Captain: Do whatever the fuck you want.
When you woke up the following day, you had the biggest headache from crying, and the last thing you felt like doing was facing either of them. You had a job to do though, and criminals didn’t stop being criminals just because you had a broken heart. Even though you were slower to dress than usual, you were still on time for training, and God, it was brutal.
Bucky kept looking at you, Steve wouldn’t even look your way, and you couldn’t focus. You’d never had a day so bad, and all you wanted was to crawl back into bed. During the meeting after, you just leaned against the wall, barely listening to anything Nick had to say. The one time you bothered to look up, you looked over at Steve and was glaring at you.
God, you really fucking hated yourself.
“Doll, wait up!” Bucky called after you once the meeting was over.
You’d practically run out of the room.
“Bucky, I really just want-”
“What did I do wrong?” he breathed once he caught up to you. “Everything seemed fine on Saturday, I thought we both enjoyed it.”
You didn’t miss the way Steve quietly scoffed as he walked past the both of you.
“Bucky, I just-”
“Did I hurt you? What...I really like you, Y/N. I have for a while and I just...was I too eager?”
You honestly hadn’t expected that.
“Wait...what?”
“I never said anything, because I thought you and Steve had a thing going, but that’s clearly not happening. You were just so upset on Saturday and I wanted to make you happy, and I’ve wanted you for so long...what did I do?”
Trash. You felt like absolute trash.
“I need to get to my room.”
“Y/N-”
“Just...I’ll talk to you later, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. I just have a lot going on in my head. I just need to be by myself for a while.”
“Please just-”
“I’ll talk to you later, okay? I’m sorry.”
~~
You can read the rest here.
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𝕽𝖊𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘 🖤🔪⛓️
1. 2. 3.
As promised to the ones who were wronged and I mean it, severely wronged not a 'they were mean to me once' neither a 'I was the problem but I'm gonna pretend they're the villian of the story',
TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ mention of bullying, abuse etc
"how badly are they gonna get fucked up after this."
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Picture 1
They were a bully weren't they?
A self righteous hero in their narrative. Someone who simply, "says it like it is." But the intentions are your downfall rather than just an act of care or 'tough love' making you second guess yourself constantly. Perhaps a gaslighter or even physically violent/would threaten you as well perhaps.
Some of you may have felt like you'll never be able to progress and move forward in your life and your plans. Some of you feel like a machine sometimes trying to prove your worth but it's never enough.
I keep hearing, "I wanna go. I wanna go. I don't belong here this isn't my place."
For you, rest assured you'll boldly venture into the unknown and succeed.
They however,
Can say goodbye to peace and balance in their life and their health. Constantly struggling internally to the point it starts showing on their face. I think some of these individuals peaked at a certain point of their lives (you know the ones who peak in highschool and think they run the show) I see them reminiscing how they looked like before or the attention they got before. I see them feeling stuck in one place and not being able to make progress. If this is someone who would bully you for your physical looks they'll have a severe glow down. If this is someone who cheated on you then they get a taste of their own medicine but worse. In some cases I'm seeing even more severe loss and maybe even trying to make amends with you because suddenly you're more successful or better off without them. I honestly see a lot of regret on their part but some of them may not have the guts to admit the same.
Picture 2
This may have either been a liar or straight up emotionally abusive and controlling. I do sense some of them have been physically or sexually abusive as well. The image I'm getting is someone treating you like their puppet or thinking they have a right over you.
Some of you may have felt or believed that you can't do better than this neither deserve better than this. They made your question your very worth and reality and you often took pity or emphatized and continued to forgive and go back to them.
I'm also seeing for some, that this could be someone who keeps you around for their convinience like you're their emotional crutch.
For you, there are is a light at the end of the tunnel you've walked out of.
For them,
Literal unseen disruptions that shake the very core of their ego, stability and power. Maybe even their career declining to nothing. Legal troubles as well and finding out that those they have trusted or considered their friends don't really care about them either. For someone so selfish and constantly stuck in their narcissistic victim mindset this would be a heavy blow and all I see them doing is throw a child like tantrum.
Picture 3
I believe you attract jealousy, envy, stalkers and maybe even people who need to match the effort you put for them but find an excuse to slack.
I believe that you are aware of your power, this awareness has come after years of being shunned, talked down on and made fun of.
You may have a list of people adding up (it's giving Kill Bill) who have literally just put you down, taken you for granted, betrayed you and it's all piled up almost because I do see a lot of you are rather forgiving or try to understand the other person.
Oftentimes you can care less because you know if someone does you wrong in any shape or form and it's unwarranted then may God help them.
I don't feel you actively seek vengeance.
You seem like a creative soul, perhaps you channel your pain into art or other things that can benefit you or others. But scars in your heart remain.
For you, I see recognition, fun and good money/stability in life.
For those who have wronged you or wish you harm,
Anxiety, the kind that feels like they are in the middle of a circus show and someone asked them to do the sword swallowing trick at gunpoint. Financial loss, having people backstab them or abandon them.
On a more personal note I see that you get the last laugh in this situation.
Few of you could also be witches? A handful of you I'm seeing. So your words could literally be hexes.
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NATLA Debrief: Episode 3 (by yours truly)
Hi again! If any of ya'll are interested here's episodes 1 and 2. Thank you to those who have been following these deranged, unorganized posts, especially @phoebester (Just an fyi this will be hella long, just like the other two)
First of all, the way they framed the opening resistence scene was genuinely so cool because I immediately thought back to the cold open for the first episode. The streets are so similar that's where my mind went RIGHT AWAY and if that is not good set design and filming I don't know what is.
The resistance scene was so powerful for so many reasons besides those small details, too. The concept of a resistance within the FN was never addressed at all within the cartoon and I can't express how glad I am that they added this. It just makes logical sense that some people would resist, especially while so many are dying in war, and it really serves to humanize the FN people in a way that's reminiscent of book 3 ATLA. Perfect way to expand on the source material and introduce core themes earlier in the show (M Nite should be taking notes).
It was also a perfect way to introduce both Ozai and Azula's characters. Ozai is this menacing figure stepping out of the shadows (quite literally), an almost larger than life villain who seems to have every move planned and everything calculated. He's brutal and efficient and we can see that. Azula is conniving and smart, the kind of girl who can fool anyone and come out on top, but is ultimately still a weapon under her father's control. You can tell from the moment Ozai mentions Zuko that she is the underdog, but she is determined that it will not stay that way, and she seems just terrifying enough to succeed. (also idc what anyone says Elizabeth Yu has mastered Azula's look and general vibe. I feel like the whole 'miscasting' debacle was a mix of fatphobia and being shown the wrong stills before the show came out. She looked sort of sweet and innocent in those but I get absolutely none of that from this scene)
Ugh the exposition was great and then they have to give us this. What the absolute hell did they do to my Katara? Like there was a whole ass episode in the cartoon devoted to her getting mad because she wasn't progressing as fast as Aang and then in this fucking adaptation the maddest she sounds is when she emotionlessly declares, "I don't get it" to convey mild frustration. I'm sorry Kiawentiio, you're acting is great but the writers clearly have no fucking idea how to put your emotional range to good use. The same problem was present in the last episode and I just don't see them being able to fix it significantly enough at this point, even if they have a desire to. Not to undermine that, but there were a couple good points in this scene: Aang mentions something about bending being "beyond thought" which gives bending a more spiritual aspect that I like, and Katara's PTSD is brought up again in an intelligent way, but still, that doesn't matter if they're going to completely butcher her character. (side note: when is Aang going to learn waterbending? they haven't shown him training at all and I'm getting worried)
This scene was fine or whatever but what in the absolute fuck is going on with Zuko and Zhao? Are they not going to do the agni kai? Like I know there's still animosity there but they were really just sitting there (semi)-calmly enjoying a cup of tea and demonstrating only mild dislike for each other. All I have to say is if they remove the agni kai altogether I'm gonna be so fucking pissed it'll bug me forever and I'll be fucking insufferable.
Also Zuko is so mean to Luitenient Jee for no reason. I know it's because his abuse makes him see any kind of comradery as weakness so it's a good detail if that's what they're going for but ngl I also find it a bit funny. Like what did he ever do to you? And Zhao taking three tries to pass his officer exam is so perfect too like what a fucking looser lmao.
Ba Sing Se looks beautiful. There's something so mystical about it, especially in the way Aang describes it as they walk up to the gate. It's this hub of culture and science and art, but it's also incredibly militaristic and so changed due to war it's almost unrecognizable to someone who was there a hundred years ago. The adaptation of cultures during times of change is something ATLA does so well and I'm glad to see that it's continuing in the LA.
AHH Katara was so awkward during this whole scene and I loved it. For one thing Sokka's commentary was absolutely hilarious but it's also this reminder that Katara has been relatively isolated from other children her age and her brain is like "cute boy flirt how" and its so fucking funny. It might not be the same Katara as the cartoon who is effortlessly comfortable wherever she goes but this is so much more realistic and if she's going to be a bit different this is probably the best thing for them to change (now keep the awkwardness and give her back her anger Netflix I'm begging you)
I am slightly concerned because it looks to me like they're trying to condense at least four episodes into one and I'm not sure if that's going to be a cohesive plotline or a complete mess or not but if handled carefully I think they might be able to pull it off.
Ooooh the explosion was super unexpected and totally cray cray thanks for keeping me on my toes. I'm assuming it was Jet that planted the bomb although I cannot for the life of me think why. Anyways Teo was adorable I'm adopting him.
Also I am so so so happy that they gave him a little more depth beyond just 'happy glider kid' and gave a bit more nuance to his character. Of COURSE kids who grew up in war are going to be desensitized to the bloodshed OF COURSE they're going to be a little vengeful and be thinking about ways to win the war OF COURSE Aang is going to be uncomfortable with that because he didn't grow up with that militaristic mindset even if he did loose everything OF COURSE that's not going to change the fact that kids grow up hearing about death and experiencing loss as extremely young children versus Aang being suddenly thrust into this responsibility and grief because he didn't grow up like that he grew up in peacetime it just makes sense. Good job Netflix this was wonderful this was perfect I loved it.
Okay don't get me wrong I love the way Aang wears his heart on his sleeve I love how their in-the-face storytelling makes a bit more sense with how open and emotional of a person he is it's just part of his character that was improved upon by the LA in my opinion but this is also just... such a misunderstanding of the group dynamic. Like why isn't Katara seeing these people and thinking "I can help with this I have to help with this" and Aang giving this speech to Sokka jumping on the bandwagon? I would even accept them seeing the destruction together and mutually deciding that they need to help the people there (this would probably be best as it allows us to see both character's compassion) or Aang saying something about it and Katara immediately being like "ur absolutely right" but of course they can't do that all we need is a lengthy speech from the protagonist while Katara stands there like robot girl. My mistake.
STOP because her mocking face is so fucking perfect I love Elizabeth Yu she's perfect. Anyway, I think that they're kind of... adjusting her trauma a bit? I mentioned earlier how I feel like she's shown as a little more scrappy and an underdog as opposed to perfectly calculating and not a hair out of place, but after this scene I feel the need to expand on that. In the cartoon, Azula's abuse from her father centers around his unattainably high expectations for her that eventually cause her ultimate breakdown and the conclusion to her devastating character arc. But in the LA, they're portraying her as less of a prodigy and more of a hard worker. She still has incredibly high expectations, but in this version, she never meets them all the time. Her brother is almost leveraged against her in a way. Even if she feels like she is the best and has the constant need to prove she is the best to her father, there's always going to be this nagging insecurity that she won't be good enough to measure up to her brother. She's not being told she's worthless like Zuko, but she's not reaching every goal like cartoon Azula, either. This also might explain why she has arrows. In the cartoon, weapons are viewed with disdain by firebenders, making Zuko using them so controversial, but Azula definetely doesn't seem to be hiding her talent for the bow and arrow and even if it was a her-sneaking-away-to-practice sort of situation that's not very in character and I don't think she would do that. I think in this version she probably has them because she's trying to find every possible way to prove herself to her father beyond just firebending, and mastering a weapon is a way to do that. I'm not sure how I feel about these changes but she is clearly a different character in this version than in the cartoon and moving forward I'm going to treat her as such. (I've noticed this a bit with all of the characters except possibly Sokka: they're different people. I think this actually might be intentional. [even so I still don't like their characterization of Katara her trauma hasn't changed very much to my knowledge she should still have the same core drives and character traits])
As well done as Azula was, there was relatively nothing in the Ty Lee and Mai department. They're just kind of existing, watching her train. Ty Lee is vaguely cheerful (and her costume is great btw) and Mai has one line about exploring the world that gives a bit of insight into her character and has a monotone voice. They're both clearly a little scared of Azula but that's basically it. Hopefully we get more on them soon.
Back in Ba Sing Se, I noticed a bit of a parallel between Teo and Katara. The Mechanist mentions that they lost his mother due to the war, which reminded me specifically of Katara. Throughout this scene, we see that Teo remembers his mother's philosophy and adopts it into his own mindset far more than his father's. Their situation is different because while Katara is arguing for compassion Teo is arguing for fighting back, but they are both fundamentally saying the same thing. It's not enough just to accept their lot in life and try to survive or fight, it's about the big picture, and about defending the things they love. While Katara and Teo both approach this subject from a very different front, the core idea is the same. It's also telling how they are dismissed initially as idealistic for their values when they are really upholding what their mothers stood for in their eyes: for Teo, a symbol of hope in her retellings of the stories of the avatar, and for Katara, a symbol of kindness in her reminders to remain empathetic despite the horrors of war. Make of this what you will, I just thought it was a nice little parallel.
Anyway, allow me to have a few words on the whole Jet thing (in bullet points because I don't have enough brain power to do this)
I'm glad Jet got his freedom fighters outfit. I was a bit worried when I saw what he was wearing in the first scene he was in because the fit is iconic, and so are the swords
God he's so fucking dramatic "they call me Jet" while the sun glints off his swords and he turns slightly for affect it was so funny I laughed out loud
He and Kia have no on-screen chemistry I'm sorry. Like even the fight scene was so awkward and every time they speak to each other they sound so stiff. They're good actors independently but whoever was watching their chemistry check (I'm assuming they had one pre-production but judging by this crap I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't) was either asleep or it was their first day because there is NOTHING there
What the hell did they do to the Freedom Fighters? They're so cheesy and the costumes are so bad (especially Smellerbee's). Like seriously that entire fight scene was so awkward idk what the hell happened there but it was nowhere near the quality of the rest of the episode so far
Overall, I'm not a huge fan. Also where is Sokka I'm pretty sure he's supposed to be there somewhere
Okay here's Sokka finally. Are they just taking him out of the Jet shenanigans entirely? I wouldn't be surprised considering how many episodes they had to condense but still I would have liked to see that. Oh well, I guess they had to have Katara do something in this episode instead of just stand around while her brother and Aang have huge plot points. Anyway, this scene was very interesting to me. Sokka and the Mechanist bonded in the og but not to this extent, and I honestly liked that they did something a bit deeper with it considering they don't have as much screentime to establish Sokka's daddy issues (for lack of a better word). Anywho the Mechanist mentioning that there are other career paths to take besides just being a warrior was super cool and I think we can glean a lot from it about Sokka's future character arc. Maybe in this version he doesn't perfectly live up to his dad's expectations and instead finds his own way? It was nice to see Hakoda proud of him in the original but if they go down this path I definitely won't be mad. It's interesting while staying true to the character, it's just a different direction.
The scene with Aang and Teo was cute. They're both good actors who play off of each other nicely, and Teo talking about how he doesn't want to follow in his father's footsteps lends a bit of insight to the conversation the Mechanist had with Sokka. He probably mentioned Sokka's dad because he wondered if his parents were engineers too and maybe is looking for a bit of an apprentice since his son doesn't take after him as much. This is also another way Teo conflicts with the Mechanist's way of life and may be more similar to his mother.
The jetara scenes at the Freedom Fighter camp had a much better dynamic. I think the fight scene was probably just them figuring each other out as actors, it just sucks that it seeped into the final take. I confess I was a bit disappointed that the Freedom Fighters didn't live up in the trees, but I guess that would be a bit difficult to engineer. I also noticed how Jet repeated Teo's "if not us, then who?" statement, which is probably just your basic commentary on how the future generations are our hope blah blah blah. It's a major theme so I shouldn't be as disinterested as I am in it but as it stands I'm still not totally thrilled with the Jet plotline as a whole and I think that may be affecting it. I feel like Sokka should be here to add some variety and spice things up a bit it's kind of boring.
The last jetara scene was definitely the best yet. I can't get over how happy I was to hear Jet say his mother taught him to fight. So often we hear how dads or older brothers are teaching the women in their family to fight but here we have a canonically badass male character saying that an older female relative was the one who taught him. One of the major complaints I have from the cartoon was how for all its talk about women being able to fight and its supposed feminist message, there were no women of the older generation fighting at all except for Jun, who wasn't even a particularly moral character like all these older men. We do have to remember that the cartoon started production over twenty years ago so it is a product of its time, when feminist issues weren't very mainstream. Another factor that might have contributed to the lack of feminism in the original was the generational discrepancies; millennials were the first to have widely accepted equal educational opportunities in the US, and even though educational opportunities are still affected by sexism, college became the norm for both male and female students at that time. This isn't to say women older than millennials didn't go to college, but this is around the time women and men started to become relatively equal as of percentage seeking higher education. Basically, they were the first generation of women expected to have careers, and therefore the writer's minds were probably shaped alongside a similar number of female peers, but primarily by men. This could have contributed to the lack of older women, but as times changed, so to did the amount of older women in professional fields. This line is a reflection of that, and I hope we continue to see more badass older women and older warrior women and women in power as the LA continues.
Other than that, I did take my shipping goggles out during this scene at the "sunrise" bit, and it wasn't about jetara. I heard from other fans in the zutara tag that the "you rise with the moon, I rise with the sun" line was removed but I keep thinking about how Katara is legitimately drawing power from remembering the sun rising, a time when the opposite element, Zuko's element, becomes more powerful. I know I'm reaching, but while I mourn the loss of our beloved "you rise with the moon, I rise with the sun" I have to find a new version. Anyway I think we should call this sunrisegate lol
Also, the way Katara is extremely hesitant to talk about her trauma whereas Jet seems completely fine with being emotional and dumping out exactly what he was feeling may have been a device but it does remind me of something I read about how ppl with PTSD will often react very differently when sharing their trauma and the same is true for many other trauma induced disorders. It was probably unintentional but I still thought it was a nice detail.
Anyway on a less serious note Iroh and Zuko's dynamic is still top tier. I've seen a lot of people complaining about Iroh's character but I don't see anything wrong up to this point. I might be in for a shock in future episodes but I have genuinely no idea what they find so off putting. He's a great actor and the character has legitimately not changed. The line above was a bit undercut by the fact that he's standing in the middle of an enemy city with a cloth half wrapped around his face to keep part of his face from being seen, but I'm just gonna take it at face value (haha pun). I think the thing Zuko despises most is cowardice, and it affects his perception of the war in a huge way. He calls Aang a coward for escaping from prison because he was running away or whatever and I've never considered Zuko a particularly logical character but it's like... bruh he's outnumbered like fifty to one what he is gonna do? Anyway his definition of cowardice is directly tied to his honor and his perception of it in relation to his trauma and the way he held back in the agni kai and him perceiving that as cowardice maybe... Ya'll got me? This isn't fully formed because I obviously haven't seen this new rendition of the agni kai but I'm guessing the events are basically the same. Do with it what you will.
I skipped over the Azula and Zhao scene because I don't have any groundbreaking commentary except to say that I liked it. It ties Azula into the story nicely and gives Zhao something actually interesting about him (I don't hate him as much as I did in the cartoon so whenever he comes up on screen I just sort of yawn).
Anyway, it was nice to see Katara get a bit angry. I think this captured the gaang dynamic pretty well. Aang being relatively neutral/ quiet while the siblings argue and Katara gets twice as mad as Sokka. Also he may have had the last word but she had the last laugh:
Again, the sibling dynamic was really great but I didn't feel like Katara was carrying it as much as in previous episodes. Sokka actually played his part in making it interesting and realistic. I don't think this single argument is enough to redeem Katara's characterization in my eyes but at least we know now there is a little spark there.
AHH THE SCARF SCENE! Scarfgate was everything I could have asked for and more. Like why does he appear directly behind her like that unless he's trying to fight her? Why does he just let her go by like that? Why does he hold out his hand in the first place? Truly is the Watergate of our time it deserves that name. (also in the same episode as the whole sunrise thing? come on) I'm probably being baited but at least I'm enjoying it.
So I was right about the bombings! I can't believe all those cute little kids are terrorists but I couldn't believe it in the cartoon either so I guess that checks out. Either way I find the bombing far less forgivable than trying to take out the Mechanist. Innocent civilians were hurt and even though I know there was a real possibility that civilians could have been hurt in the attempted bombing for whatever reason it just seems... more brutal somehow. Like the first one was in the center of town, you know? Anyway terrorism is wrong I hope Jet finds his way.
(I was worried about how they were going to tie all the seemingly unrelated plotlines together but I think they pulled it off. Again my main problems were all concentrated around the Jet plotline but when the Mechanist was tied in it became a lot more interesting)
When I heard this I was like "son ur about to get ur ass kicked" but the funny part is he was kind of right. Like when neither of them were bending he was winning. I guess in all fairness he is a lot bigger than Aang but I don't feel like that was an accidental detail. Anyway, I think this fight scene was the most entertaining yet and so much better than jetara against the firebenders earlier. Maybe the affects for water are just worse than air and fire (it feels slower somehow) but I'm very partial to this fight. And that's saying something because I usually fast-forward through fight scenes or just kind of tune them out or barely watch, so you know it was really good.
I think the reason I liked it so much was that it was funny, honestly, not in the same way or to the same degree the cartoon was but I laughed out loud a couple times. For instance Zuko gets hit in the face three times in the span of ten seconds, once with a plate, once with a wicker basket, and once with his own little stick thing. Aang also put a basket over his head and some random ass lady started whacking him with a fan. Kudos to whoever choreographed that it was the best.
Also I liked how Sokka and Katara saved the day together. Cute sibling bonding excersize. And it ended on a cliffhanger with the characters separated! My favorite kind of cliffhanger! It definitely left me wanting more.
Anyway, to recap, things I didn't like:
No Zuko and Zhao agni kai
Mai and Ty Lee were just sort of there
Katara's characterization is still so-so
Jetara plot line was boring and chemistry was not the best
It was kind of a lot for one episode, even if they managed to do it well
Things I did like:
Opening scene
Azula characterization
Teo
The Mechanist plotline
Teo and Katara parallel
Katara DID actually seem a little bit more firey in this episode
SCARFGATE
Zuko and Aang fight scene
Surprisingly good handling of all those loose ends
Cliffhanger
Overall, I would give it a 9/10. That's the highest score I've given an episode so far and I'm standing by it. I know others might have a very different opinion on it since it was condensed so much and differed a lot from the cartoon, but I agreed with many of the changes they made. One thing I would urge everyone to remember is that these are different characters from the cartoon. They're going to act slightly different and have slightly different journys and that's okay. I think it is worth comparing to the original, as it is an adaptation, but we need to remember that an adaptation is not an exact replica, nor should it be. That in no way means that we should make allowances for anything we found negative or mediocre, but it is going to be different and change in it of itself isn't a bad thing. Anyway thank you guys so much for sticking with me! I'll probably have the next episode's debrief up by tomorrow.
#natla debrief#emmie babbles#scarfgate#zutara#aang#sokka#katara#zuko#jet#jetara#natla episode 3#natla analysis#natla meta
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🦋Life Is Strange: How It's Like Sleeping Next To Them.
🦋 some sappy headcanons 'cause im bored
🐺 GN!Reader, no specific pronouns are mentioned!
🦋 warnings: cutesy romantic stuff eugh, swearing, nathan's dad being a sexist asshole, nightmares.
🎧A/N: I bought Before The Storm but I'm not a big fan of the Remastered versions of Life Is Strange, it just doesn't feel the same? I love the blank faces while someone is literally dying.
🦋Chloe Price:
♡ Usually wakes up on her stomach but falls asleep on her back.
ツIt's literally a nightmare to sleep beside her, she snores, turns and tosses the whole night and talks in her sleep.
♡ Listens to music while she falls asleep, headphones in or playing on her radio alarm clock.
ツSurprisingly, not a blanket stealer, she literally kicks any sort of warmth off of her at night because she moves around so much.
♡ Nightmares, in Before The Storm and Life Is Strange, they're just not as vivid and real as they were before. She wakes up and checks if you're still there, it's comforting for her to see you asleep.
ツIt's rare for her to fall asleep at a healthy time and even if she does, she'll wake up A LOT during the night.
♡ She tends to sleep in a lot and accidentally (sometimes purposely) leaves people/you on read because she rarely hears the notifications.
ツHeavy sleeper.
🍂Kate Marsh:
♡ Falls asleep on her back and wakes up on her back.
ツShe's like a calm mother bird, will play with your hair and you can't tell me she wouldn't fucking softly sing you to sleep. (oh my god)
♡ It helps her sleep when you're there, she likes looking at you and thinking about how grateful she is.
ツWill talk to you for hours when she should really be sleeping, talking about her drawings, classes or the bird she saw like last month.
♡ She tries to make sure to fall asleep at a healthy time, she plans her day out but is sometimes so busy studying that she completely forgets.
ツDepends on the day if she's a blanket stealer that night, if it's warm, she sees no need for any blankets but if it's freezing cold then you're the one suffering.
♡ Light sleeper, like you get up and suddenly she's getting up with you.
📷Max Caulfield:
♡ Falls asleep on her side or her back but always wakes up on her back.
ツIt's not that bad sleeping next to Max, she'll maybe move a little during the night but nothing super major.
♡ HUGE blanket stealer, she knows what she's doing and will just smile and laugh if you confront her.
ツShe'll decide on sleeping then suddenly she needs to look something up or study and forgets that she needs sleep to survive until an hour or so later.
♡ Falls asleep pretty easily but if she can't she'll just wait a few minutes then go on a whole rant about her day and how she was hanging with Chloe the whole time.
ツSort of a light sleeper, if you need to go anywhere you've gotta crawl there or something.
🎭Rachel Amber:
♡ Falls asleep on her side and wakes up on her back.
ツLike Victoria, she has a whole routine before bed. Skincare, posting and scrolling through her socials, listening to music.
♡ Not a blanket stealer thankfully but she can be though depending on the temperature.
ツShe can also spend hours talking to you like Kate does, mainly talking about how drama's going for her or how badly she wants to leave Arcadia Bay.
♡ She mainly sticks to her healthy sleep schedule with no interruptions unless something major happens, like when she found out her dad was cheating on her mom. (pretty understandable.)
ツShe's a heavy sleeper, you gotta shake her a few times like she's a fucking salt shaker.
🎬 Victoria Chase:
♡ Oh jesus, she sleeps in ANY position like she could be hanging off the bed and still fall asleep. Mostly falls asleep on her back though, wakes up basically on the floor.
ツTakes hours doing her skincare and her skin is honestly GLOWING afterwards, face masks, expensive ass skin creams in those teeny tiny bottles, soft music playing in the background.
♡ BLANKET STEALER, BLANKET STEALER! Like she'll pull the blanket off of you while you're still awake and act extremely confused when you look at her with an annoyed look.
ツShe can maybe gossip a little before she falls asleep halfway during the conversation, you know because she starts sleep talking about the most random shit.
♡ Sticks to her sleep schedule, no matter what. Like there could be a whole loud ass fight in the hall but she just rolls her eyes or picks a fight with them before falling asleep.
ツHeavy sleeper, she has to set a shit ton of alarms and only you/Nathan know because she's really embarrassed about it.
🎮Warren Graham:
♡ Dorky dork who falls asleep on his stomach and wakes up on his back or halfway off of the bed.
ツRoutine? Skincare? Nah, he's just a natural cutie.
♡ Moves a lot during the night and accidentally smacked the shit out of you once during the night, he was actually worried but nervously laughing the whole time, sleep talks a lot about the funniest, weirdest shit ever.
ツNah, not a blanket stealer.
♡ Shitty fucking sleep schedule, he's always up studying or playing video games and you'll wake up at 4AM and he's still playing or he's somehow fell asleep with the controller still in his hands.
ツOn a good day, he'll be asleep by 2:30AM but on a bad day he's probably pulling an all nighter.
♡ Heavy sleeper, like scream in his ear and his body will shift a little but he's (still) asleep
🧨Nathan Prescott:
♡ Can't believe I feel bad for this man but he'll pick a position and stick with it the whole night.
ツHis dad's a fucking asshat who told him doing skincare as a man is bad, but he takes care of his skin privately and feels really guilty about it after.
♡ Okay, everyone I write for has to hold you or be held in some way while sleeping but Nathan is on a WHOLE different level. An arm wrapped tightly around you that won't move no matter what, his head tucked into your neck or his leg wrapped around your waist. (no, no..why is he attractive??)
ツNightmares, really terrifying nightmares that are so fucking specific and vivid. He wakes up shaking and goes back to sleep (if he ever does) shaking.
♡ Blanket? Fuck your needs, the blankets his now.
ツHORRIBLE SLEEP SCHEDULE?! Like he's up at 5AM smoking weed and slumped over a chair with his eyes closed.
♡ All nighters sometimes, normally falls asleep at 4AM or later. (teach him how to sleep, wtf.)
ツLight sleeper, he wakes up immediately when he hears you moving and instantly thinks you're gonna leave and become a banana or something (dumbass dude)
#🤍kane's headcanons#nathan prescott x reader#kate marsh x reader#victoria chase x reader#max caulfield x reader#chloe price x fem!reader#rachel amber x reader#warren graham x reader#lis headcanons#life is strange headcanons
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Okay because it was briefly mentioned in this post speculating on Roy's parents I really want to hear people's thoughts on Keeley's parents/childhood and why she had no prior family obligations on (Sexy) Christmas!
Similarly to Roy we only get very brief mentions of their existence in canon (and they're notably just about her mum, never her dad):
"I did used to worry I was gonna end up like my mum. She spent years tirelessly working at the same company just for a man to take all the credit. She wasn't brave enough to dream big. So I decided to do things very differently" - Keeley
"We didn't open [the champagne] when your mum moved back up North" - Roy
The headcanons I've got are:
Keeley's parents are divorced and she isn't particularly close with either of them. Her mum irritates her literally every time they see one another. Her dad has a new wife and (step)kids he treats as his "real family," and Keeley is always the afterthought; she rarely sees him.
Her mum is extremely conventional and thinks Keeley needs to fit into that same box. She was appalled by Keeley's choice to do nude modeling, refused to talk to her because of it (which Keeley was thrilled by, and once her mum realized that she got even more upset and immediately started calling Keeley up again) and has never treated Keeley's modeling career as a real career.
Keeley moved out of her childhood home asap, like age 17/18 after taking her first modeling gigs. She rented a cheap flat with a bunch of other girls.
Keeley has made some of her choices in part just to spite her, whether its subconscious or not. For instance, if her mum was complaining about her first topless photoshoot, where her nipples were strategically covered by liquor bottles, Keeley made sure the next shoot she signed on for was tits out, no coverage. When her mum complained about that she did full nudes, etc.
When Keeley started working for AFC Richmond it was a backhanded "finally you have a REAL job, thank goodness" instead of "congratulations, I'm so proud of you." everything with her mother is like this
It is even worse with relationships. Her mum thinks Keeley needs to settle down, get married and have kids in that order - none of which are things Keeley has ever intended to do with her life.
her mum was thrilled when Keeley introduced her to Roy because "finally my daughter is in a serious relationship and they will give me grandkids soon" she completely dotes over Roy because of this while asking increasingly intrusive, prodding questions about the status of their relationship. Roy of course sees right through this but is trying his best to stay polite because this is Keeley's mother. The whole thing slowly infuriates Keeley until she's had enough and abruptly informs them they're leaving. this is how roykeeley have the "I never want kids" conversation very early on in their relationship
with holidays like Christmas, at first Keeley would use the other parent as the ~reason~ she couldn't be at theirs for the holiday. Like, she'd tell her mum "sorry, i told dad I'd go to his" and she'd tell her dad the opposite. of course this only works a few times before it's "why do you spend every holiday with the other parent instead of me," and which point Keeley remembered that wait, actually she doesn't give a fuck! and straight up told her mother she isn't coming because she doesn't want to and already has plans with her boyfriend/girlfriend (whoever it was at the time) 🤷♀️ slay queen
Keeley is out and proud and always has been, but her mum treats her being bi as another lie she's telling for attention, even though Keeley has literally brought girlfriends home to introduce to her mother before. No matter what she does, her mum maintains that Keeley is only doing it to piss her off and basically doesn't believe her or acknowledge her sexuality, which is understandably very upsetting to Keeley
Bonus ot3: Not to make everything about ot3 but I have a very distinct scene in my head where Keeley introduces Jamie and Roy as her boyfriends and her mum is forcibly polite to Jamie (whom she is meeting for the first time) but then pulls Keeley aside to be like "enough with your stunts, Keeley, how could you put Roy through this nonsense, after he took you back and all, this is how you repay him, by dating someone else?" (because 1. she's adamantly ignoring the part where Keeley told her all three of them were dating, royxjamie included and 2. she acts like Keeley obviously did something to "cause" Roy breaking up with her). Keeley for once is totally speechless and all the retorts she wants to and would usually say die in her throat and she just wants to cry because she's tired of this. Roy and Jamie overhear the conversation and Roy steps in like "okay, that's enough, we're leaving." Keeley has a breakdown in the car before they've even gotten out of the driveway and after that she basically cuts off contact for a long while with her mother, with Roy & Jamie's full support.
#Keeley Jones#ted lasso#ted lasso headcanons#can you tell i've thought about this at great length? lol#anyway PLEASE drop your thoughts into the tags/reblogs I NEED MORE KEELEY BACKSTORY#it's criminal that we know so little#luckily in the ot3 canon in my head georgie and simon literally adore roy and keeley and they get to spend christmas with them forever afte#it is very lovely and healing for all involved
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Harlowchella
First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU
Requested by: the treacherous twin @harlowsbby 💖
Liked by jackharlow, saweetie, urbanwyatt, jessicakelce, blancahood, estgee, champagnepapi, lolabrooke, and 3,962,051 others
y/ninsta: guess where we're on our way to? 👀
saweetie: the matching bracelets have me MELTING 😭
y/ninsta: saweetie hubby got them for all five of us
jackharlow: two of my favorite girls. daddy loves you both
y/ninsta: jackharlow lmao shut up
jackharlow: y/ninsta Ivy, Axel, and Autumn weren't the only ones calling me daddy last night, don't act brand new smh
quiiso: here they asses fucking go
urbanwyatt: quiiso same shit, different day lmao
y/ninsta: jackharlow can you be serious for once in your life please? smh
jackharlow: I can literally count on one hand how many times I've been serious, when I asked you to be my girlfriend, when I asked you to marry me, when we got married, and when you made me a father. other than that... nope.
y/ninsta: yall see what I have to deal with? smh
jessicakelce: and I can vouch for that, jackharlow been wild since high school and following y/ninsta around like a lost puppy
jackharlow: jessicakelce and?!? yall not going to get on me for simping over my wife
druski2funny: where yall goin?!?
y/ninsta: I'm going going back back to Cali Cali
allthingsy/n: aww to support her mans as he performs at coachella! we love a supportive couple
jackandy/naremyparents: can't wait until y/n starts performing again, we miss her!
jackharlowsource: jackandy/naremyparents agreed! and the only time we got a little performance was her diss track to dani and drama and that was months ago
allthingsy/n: oh I forgot about those lying ass bitches smh like she really cut them both off and doesn't mention anything about them which I get because I can imagine that it still hurts. her and dani were inseparable
jackandy/naremyparents: but moving on! still can't believe that their someone else's parents other than mine 😭😭😭
jackharlowsource: I wonder if Jack will bring her out on stage, he needs to do it for the Harlow stans because we are DESPERATE to see her
jackharlow: 👀
jackharlowsource: what those eyes mean sir? you planning something? SPILL IT!
Liked by y/ninsta, jackharlow, urbanwyatt, blancahood, softtcurse, jackharlowsource, traviskelce, calumhood, privategarden, and 1,003,489 others
jessicakelce: she said I could say something about it so here goes! here supporting our baby at her first performance since becoming a momma to three beautiful angels. we are so so proud of you and can't wait to see you kill it on stage tomorrow 💕
jackandy/naremyparents: THEY'RE BOTH PERFORMING!?!?!?
allthingsy/n: I'm so excited that I'M ABOUT TO THROW UP
jackharlowsource: IT'S HAPPENING! THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL! I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL! JACK AND Y/N ARE BOTH PERFORMING AT COACHELLA!!!!
y/ninsta: thank yall for being here with me, just like in high school some things never change. been the realest since day one and I'm so happy we're reunited again.
blancahood: y/ninsta wouldn't have it any other way, you know we always got your back, but for now... SHOTS!
y/ninsta: blancahood jackharlow has the babies soooo pass them my way!
jackharlow: yall better not get my wife drunk
jessicakelce: jackharlow you worry too much! we'll bring her back in one piece! we know better because we cannot leave you in charge with three babies by yourself so I know privategarden is there at the hotel helping your ass. you would fall apart without your wife
jackharlow: jessicakelce I'm tired of you always calling me out
urbanwyatt: of course we're here and jackharlow is trying not to lose his mind without her. I'm getting flashbacks from when she went on that girls trip
yungskylark: urbanwyatt DO NOT BRING UP DARK TIMES
neelamthadhani: yeah because I thought we were all going to die
quiiso: and the fact that neelamthadhani bought jack a plane ticket and was like please go see your wife so you can stop getting on everyone else's nerves 😭
shloob_: oh shit and remember when y/ninsta spotted him at the beach house?!? jack was like 'hey babe! funny running into you here'
2forwoyne: lmaooo her ass was PISSED
normani: we were all thoroughly confused lmao and y/n was just looking at him in disbelief before he proceeded to take her upstairs and fuck her brains out.
theestallion: typical Harlow behavior
jackharlow: that was in the past and yall need to let it go smh
2forwoyne: jackharlow but how you're acting tonight isn't because once again we feel like we're about to die and she's only 20 minutes away
y/ninsta: aww do my babies miss me?
jackharlow: YES I MISS YOU, HURRY UP AND COME BACK
y/ninsta: jackharlow not you, the triplets!
jackharlow: y/ninsta YOUR BIG BABY MISSES YOU AND I NEED SOME ATTENTION
jessicakelce: jackharlow YOU GET HER ALL THE TIME, CAN'T WE HAVE HER FOR ONE DAMN NIGHT?!
jackharlow: jessicakelce no.
jessicakelce: 🙄
Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, lolabrooke, champagnepapi, nlechoppa, estgee, geazy, privategarden, 2forwoyne, and 4,754,092 others
y/ninsta: yall ready for Harlowchella? Because me and hubby jackharlow ready to step on yall fucking necks
jackharlowsource: WE'RE READY SIS! I GOT MY SNACKS AND I'M READY TO SHAKE MY ASS!
jackharlow: my favorite position to have you in to fuck that throat of yours
y/ninsta: JACKMAN, PLEASE 😭
jackharlow: y/ninsta what I say?!? wait until both of our sets are over so you can get this work
urbanwyatt: so that means I'll be on babysitting duty again tonight smh
jackharlow: urbanwyatt for just a few hours and then we'll come and get them
y/ninsta: jackharlow I literally cannot take your fucking ass anywhere because you don't know how to act
2forwoyne: I second this
urbanwyatt: he hasn't known how to act around her since we were fourteen
claybornharlow: y/ninsta little baby has arrived
jackharlow: claybornharlow good, we got another baby sitter so I can hit the back of her throat for a longer period of time
sza: jack please lmaoooooo
y/ninsta: claybornharlow hiiii little baby, Autumn was missing you. she saw your picture and all she kept trying to say for the rest of the day was your name. it came out as Tay, but I obviously knew what she meant lol
claybornharlow: y/ninsta my little babies miss me jackharlow how your kids love me more than you tho?
jackharlow: claybornharlow imma kick your ass but who is currently cuddled up on me? AUTUMN. she not thinking about you
claybornharlow: jackharlow once she sees me, you'll be an afterthought
jackharlow: y/ninsta get him before I do
y/ninsta: jackharlow claybornharlow will you two behave?!
druski2funny: this man doesn't let up but ummm y/ninsta I can take you off his hands any time
y/ninsta: druski2funny aren't yall life partners? at least you were convinced that you two were
jackharlow: no me and druski broke up, jaysontatum is my life partner now
druski2funny: jackharlow but you were the one out here cheating!
jackharlow: druski2funny with who?! my actual wife who has my last name? make it make sense
lilnasx: druski2funny give it up already
dualipa: come sit on my face please
jackharlow: dualipa only face she's sitting on is mine, you know better
Liked by y/ninsta, urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, generationnow, champagnepapi, jaysontatum, quiiso, 2forwoyne, and 6,903,461 others
jackharlow: Harlowchella Part 1 with yours truly
y/ninsta: absolutely killed it baby, so proud of you! and so were our babies! they saw you and couldn't stop smiling. love you smush.
jackandy/naremyparents: WHO CUTTING ONIONS UP IN HERE?! 😭
saweetie: okay little brother, I see you
jackharlow: y/ninsta love you more than you know
y/ninsta: jackharlow but not more than I love you
2forwoyne: OKAY ENOUGH, WE GET IT. YALL LOVE EACH OTHER.
y/ninsta: 2fo is just mad because I didn't get a chance to make him a pound cake last weekend
urbanwyatt: y/ninsta because jackharlow was too busy eating your cakes
urbandjack24: lmaoooo AYE YO!
y/ninsta: urbanwyatt and what about it?!
jackharlow: Bon Appetit 😏😏😏😏
softtcurse: y/ninsta you better watch it before he impregnates you again lmao
y/ninsta: softtcurse HE BETTER NOT
jackharlow: y/ninsta imma put 5 in you this time so we can get to 8 and then we're done
y/ninsta: jackharlow WHO THE FUCK IS CARRYING FIVE AT ONE TIME? I CARRIED THREE AND THAT WAS ENOUGH. GET SOMEBODY ELSE TO DO IT. (but if you get someone else pregnant imma hurt you)
jackharlow: you'll look so gorgeous though and you know I'm not getting anyone else pregnant but you
y/ninsta: jackharlow and won't be able to walk. absolutely not. I could barely get around with three. I'm good.
jackharlow: y/ninsta fine, how about twins this time?
y/ninsta: jackharlow NO MULTIPLES
normani: you said that last time and ended up having triplets, make it make sense
jackandy/naremyparents: she was a baddie pregnant though, not that she wasn't already but pregnant y/n will forever have me in a chokehold
dualipa: make me a step mommy again
y/ninsta: WHY THE HELL DO YALL WANT ME TO HAVE ANOTHER BIG HEADED CHILD THAT LOOKS LIKE JACK AGAIN?! I JUST HAD THREE! ARE YALL HOES NOT ENTERTAINED ENOUGH?
jackharlow: outta pocket wifey and my head is not that big, I'll show you a big head
jessicakelce: y/ninsta but Ivy looks like you, Axel is a mix of both of you and Autumn looks like Jack but acts like you and I am definitely down to be an aunt again
blancahood: BRB planning the baby shower
y/ninsta: NO NO AND NO
Liked by jackharlow, generationnow, yungmiami, saweetie, jessicakelce, 2forwoyne, blancahood, and 10,869,114 others
y/ninsta: full circle moment and I just have to say how proud that I am of myself. the little girl from the southside of atlanta made it to coachella. I never thought in a milliion years that this would be my life, but here we are. fine ass husband, three adorable babies, the greatest parents on the face of this earth, and best friends who always want to see me win. to my beautiful fans, thank you, thank you, thank you, now let me finish before I start to cry 💖
Your girl has now officially returned
saweetie: not your ass having me up here getting teary eyed
saweetie: I love you so very much and it was only right for me to give you your flowers. I am always going to be here for you and I always want to see you win. my best friend is the SHIT!
y/ninsta: saweetie and here come the tears 😭😭😭
jackharlow: my baby girl, killing it like always. proud to be your husband.
y/ninsta: jackharlow proud to be your wife.
2forwoyne: our queen has OFFICIALLY returned!
urbandjack24: TRIPLETS WHERE?!? YALL SEE THAT BODY?!
jackandy/naremyparents: SHE FUCKING ATE AND LEFT NO GOT DAMN CRUMBS YASSSS MRS. HARLOW FUCK.IT.UPPPPPP!!
lilnasx: my baby did that!
allthingsy/n: HARLOWCHELLA!!!!!!!!!!!
druski2funny: soooo you gonna twerk on me like that?
jackharlow: druski2funny you just had to say something outta pocket. cut the fucking shit now.
claybornharlow: so proud of you!!
jessicakelce: AHHHHHHH YOU DID THAT MAMAS!
saweetie: and for people who keep asking why some of her closest friends call her Latto or Big Latto is because she always talked about winning at everything in her life and her angel number is 777 which she has a tattoo of. it's short for lottery and she definitely hits the jackpot with everything that she does. like I still remember when we first met and me and jackharlow trying to convince her to release her music, and now look at her!
urbanwyatt: go best friend!! yall better put some respect on her name
2forwoyne: watched her prepare for this for awhile and still get blown away every time I see her perform
yungskylark: and to think that she only wanted to write music, and now look
y/ninsta: PG, my day ones, I love yall bad and yall can always make my heart go boom. so blessed to have yall in my life and don't want to have it any other way. all jokes aside, thank you for being amazing friends to me and always helping to see what's important in life and protecting me.
shloob_: damn, y/n is usually always the one to cry, but now it might be me
blancahood: you kill it every damn time
y/ninsta: saweetie I love you so much bestie and thank you for always being there for me even if I get on your nerves sometimes lmaoooo
saweetie: y/ninsta never leaving your side. we in this shit for life 😘
urbanwyatt: you know we're going to protect you until the end of time
quiiso: we have no hesitations to beat someone's ass over you lmao
y/ninsta: quiiso and that goes both ways lol
Liked by y/ninsta, privategarden, theshaderoom, coachella, champagnepapi, blancahood, urbanwyatt, softtcurse and 9,204,761 others
jackharlow: so proud of my wife. you killed it baby 🥺
She was so nervous and didn't think she was ready, but I assured her that she was. I could tell how much she missed performing and I know how much it meant to her. so what better way for the queen to come back then on the coachella stage?
bottom line: my wife a baddie
Harlowchella was a success
y/ninsta: POOKIE, I LOVE YOU 😭
jackharlow: y/ninsta love you more than anything mamas
jackandy/naremyparents: we love a supportive husband. we stan, we stan, WE STAN
urbanwyatt: and she pushed herself harder than ever to prepare for it and it definitely paid off
jackharlow: she made everyone in the damn house go vegan for three months smh
2forwoyne: oh. what I was eating was vegan?
quiiso: 2forwoyne we know your dumbass don't care what it is as long as she makes it for you
saweetie: and jackharlow was calling me complaining about how he needed for me to sneak real food into the house because he was hungry smh and urbanwyatt too lmao
blancahood: saweetie LMAOOOO my mans was going through it!
jackharlow: saweetie your best friend was starving me smh
y/ninsta: jackharlow I was not! weren't you the one to say eating pussy every day keeps the doctor away? YOU GOT FED PLENTY
sza: well shit
normani: his dumbass would say some shit like that
jackharlow: I plead the fifth
dualipa: feed me next, please. but on a serious note, I'm very proud of you and all that you've accomplished in such a short time.
jackharlow: dualipa she's not feeding you a got damn thing smh
urbanwyatt: yeahhhh vegan isn't for me and I learned the hard way with being her test taster for everything smh
2forwoyne: urbanwyatt then stop being so damn greedy smh
jackharlow: 2forwoyne I KNOW FOR A FACT YOUR ASS ISN'T TALKING SMH you worse than my damn kids. you hear a package opening and your ass SPRINTS to the kitchen on some usain bolt type shit.
yungskylark: I was about to say the same thing lmao
2forwoyne: no 2fo slander will be tolerated smh
y/ninsta: jackharlow look now. I cannot have your big ass head on my chest along with two of your spawns while you hold the other one. YALL ARE HEAVY.
jackharlow: y/ninsta look they wanted you so I had to come through for my babies and we are NOT heavy!
normani: jackharlow I know you've seen how big your head is in the mirror, stop playing
jackharlow: normani CUT IT OUT
y/ninsta: jackharlow I know otherwise, but I vote you to be the one to wake them up so we can get ready for our flight later... at 3 am.
jackharlow: y/ninsta WHAT BY MYSELF?
y/ninsta: jackharlow urbanwyatt will help you. I carried them for 33 weeks, it's literally the least you can do. I'm sleepy.
urbanwyatt: now why am I in it?
jessicakelce: lmaoooo the definition of get somebody else to do it
jackharlow: y/ninsta imma get you back for that, just watch🙄
Taglist:
@harlowsbby
@babyharleezy
@hoodharlow
@stefansalvatoresgf
@jackiehollanderr
@primadxna-girl
@dessmxsworld
@cockslutslurper3000
@raelorns21
@variety-fangirl
@gbaabyyyy
@kamorsstuff
@harlowthot
@sinsandsuccubus
@curlyhairclub
@bootlegroach
@haylexo10
@thinkingaboutjharlow
@fluidsentiment
@charli123456789
@moody4world
@yourstrulymayah
@yana4life
@beanbagbitch
@alinaharlow
@carma-fanficaddict
@minaxcarter
@arination99
@xjup1t3r
@venusvinc
@jacksmoviestar
@jackharloww
@midnight-star47
@minkookie95
@inluvwithladybug
@exoticr0ses
@jharlowsangels
@jackierose902109
@jackmansbabymama
@cmalass
@megawhoree
@softtcurse
@sia2raw
@miniaturehideoutmentality
@hoya122
@nattinatalia
@jackslover12
@skyesthebomb
@jackharlows-world
@louisianalady
@fdl305
@automaticpeachsong
@harlowcomehome
@gassyandsassy1
@babygirlwilly
@amethyst09
@harrycanyonmoonn
@toocriticalharlow
@tattered-tales
@sisiking99
@dessxoxsworld
@gillybear17
@jacksdaycare
@iheartharlow
@disaster-rose
@babyvinnie
@evansxchalamet
@chtkmyharlow
@itsyagirljaz
@neon-lights-and-glitter
@awhore4moree
#jack harlow#jack harlow fic#jack harlow fanfic#jack harlow x reader#jack harlow x black reader#jack harlow fluff#jack harlow concepts#jack harlow x you#jack harlow fanfiction#first lady of pg
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OH MA GOD THE CARMY WRITING ABOUT BEING HIS KID WAS SO CUTE! maybe you could do something about bringing them to christmas with the family whiel mikey and donna are there (maybe they all have a soft spot for her, like she'sa baby carmy to them), or helping him cook in the restaurant while she is still young 🥰
Camry: "I don't want to go in"
He said sat in the drivers seat of his car, you in the back behind him right outside the large enough house, snowing profusely down, collecting on the roof of the car.
Richie: "Jesus cousin we just pulled up you can't chicken out now"
Carmy: "They don't even know were her-"
Richie: "Yeah because it's a surprise!, like surprise your out of touch son is here! and special guest, your granddaughter that he failed to fucking mention"
Y/n: "Language"
Richie: "Sorry Princess, but seriously Carm you can't just hide away forever, especially now you got Y/n it's not fair"
Carmy: "you don't ever bring round your kid to these god damm family events"
Richie: "I don't need to"
Carmy: "And why's that?"
Richie: "Cuz they know she exit's!"
Camry inhaled deeply, looking at you and back at the house.
Camry: "You ready baby?"
Y/n: "Yep!" You giggled swinging open the door and rushing over to the house, your father and Richie rushing after you.
Camry: "Y/n, Y/n stop!" He caught up to you, leaning down and placing a hand on your shoulder.
Camry: "My family's a bit intense yeah? so y'know if you wanna leave at any point just say the word and were gone, kay"
Y/n: ""M'kay"
Richie: "we literally just got here and your already planning an escape? Jesus man"
The closer the door got the worse his anxiety got,
breath in breath out it's all gonna be okay, they're gonna love her it's all gonna be just fine.
Finally approaching the door, Riche knocked, and not getting an immediate answer knocked again.
click click
dear God, take me now please Carmy thought to him self.
Donna's tired face peers round the door.
Donna: "OH! look who it is!"
Camry: "You invited us" He said monotonely
Donna: "And who is this?" She asked gesturing to you.
Carmy: "uhh That's my kid...Y/n"
Donna:"...what?"
...
...
Donna: "WHAT?!"
Camry: "I know Ma jus-"
Donna: "Don't fucking 'Ma' me!"
Now, having moved to the kitchen Richie took you upstairs, while your father fended for himself down stairs against the beast.
Donna: "Jesus Camry, fucking Jesus you had a baby and you didn't even call?!"
Camry: "I know it just didn't feel like the right time"
Donna: "The right time? The right time would have been when you found out whatever floozy you knocked up realised she was pregnant"
Camry: "Don't, don't say that Ma"
Donna: "How old is she, like 8, 9?"
Carmy: "eight"
Donna: "8 years?! You had eight years and you didn't even call?" She said, her eyes misting gripping onto a serving spoon.
Carmy: "I know, I know I should have called but, but I just got so busy with, with life with school with all sorts of shit I was just trying to keep everything afloat an-"
Donna: "Your only 29, you had her 21? Are you insane?!"
Carmy: "It's a bit late now to be lecturing me"
Donna: "Oh God, Oh God" She cried still gripping the spoon tight in her grasp, leaning over the sink taking deep breaths in and out.
Donna: "You need to leave"
Carmy: "What?"
Donna: "You cannot just show up to my house, after no fucking contact dragging along some kid"
Camry: "She's not some kid Ma, she's your granddaughter you can't just kick us out"
Donna: "This is my house! this is my house It's mine It's mine Its MINE" She cried, sounding almost in pain, bashing the spoon onto the pan.
Carmy: "Okay...Okay" He said putting his hands up in defeat, scurrying out of the kitchen and into the living room only to bump into...Mike.
Mike: "hey hey man, what the hell is going on in there?"
Camry: "Ma's acting crazy, I really don't want to expose Y/n to this kinda shit but I don't want to drive back and have to explain to her why were leaving, can you take this?"
Mike: "yeah, yeah I got you" He patted his brothers back sending him off up stairs, where Richie kept you entertained with TV blaring so that you could not hear the commotion down stairs.
Camry: "Hey sweetie, you good?"
Y/n: "I'm good"
Camry, to Richie: " I told you not to let her use the TV"
Richie: "Why the hell not?"
Camry: "Cuz it's bad for her! I don't want to fucking Ipad kid"
Richie: "It was ethier this, or let her hear your Mom ripping you a new ass hole."
Camry:"...Okay, fair enough"
After Mike had finally gotten Donna to calm down, Camry and Y/n were invited down to the dinner table for charismas dinner, with you across your father, next to your Aunt Nattily crammed in the corner, all enjoying the delicate peace you had established.
For Now...
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I am DEEPLY sorry about making you dive down this rat’s nest of a lore hole, but I’m back with another question that should be cleared up: Can You Fuck Shadow the Hedgehog?
I have a feeling this is gonna get complicated real fast…
I've had this one in mind for a while, so this shouldn't be all that hard to write.
CAN YOU FUCK: SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG?
...
YOU FELL FOR IT! YOU ALL FELL FOR IT!
To any reasonable person, Shadow should have been included in the Sonic post, alongside Surge, Mighty, etc. But you want to know why I didn't? Because if I did, it wouldn't give me the proper opportunity to rant about something.
SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG IS NOT 50 YEARS OLD. HE NEVER WAS, HE NEVER HAS BEEN, AND HE WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE.
This is a misconception that has permeated through the fanbase for Chaos knows how long, being repeated over and over and over again, ad nauseam.
Why do people even say this? Well, Project Shadow started 50 years before the event of Sonic Adventure 2. Which means Shadow's creation happened 50 years ago.
So, people take this as "Oh, Shadow was created 50 years ago, this must mean he's 50 years old!"
DO YOU PEOPLE NOT KNOW WHAT THE WORD "STASIS" MEANS.
During Sonic Adventure 2, Eggman breaks into a military base to unleash a "top secret military weapon" for his plans. This weapon, is, of course, shadow. The screenshot above is from the scene where Shadow is released.
What does this look like those particles are? What do they look like to you? Usually, thick white air particles like these are a result of the use of cold to pause biological processes. On top of that, the shot right before it displays the object atop the machinery pretty well, although with some distance.
This is a pod. Like, this is very obviously a pod. Shadow is even standing on top of it once he's revealed.
And what does he say when he's revealed?
Note how he says "Awakening". This is taken from a re-translation of the Japanese script, since the official translation makes him refer to being released as opposed to being awakened. Remember, translations for these games in this era were... Less than stellar.
(seriously, don't go there yet? to the guy telling you he shouldn't have ever been born? like maybe you're right maybe you shouldn't have been born but we don't know enough to say that for sure. ok, buddy)
So, yeah, Shadow isn't 50. I've been saving this for a standalone post, because it is baffling to me how people still keep spouting that "Fact" over and over, even though it makes no sense. He was frozen. He didn't develop mentally or physically. I'm not a Marvel fan by any means, but this is like if you added 66 years to Captain America's age because that's how long he was frozen. For these characters, if you just knocked them unconscious and then sent them to the future, it literally would not make even a bit of a difference.
He's not 50. Moving on.
Oh yeah, uh. That whole immortality thing.
(Source: Japanese dub, translated.)
Here and there, official material will mention Shadow as being "Immortal" or "Ageless". While never stated in the 2005 game, it makes complete sense, as Shadow was made with Black Doom's own genetic material. Black Doom is immortal, Black Doom's genes are in Shadow, thus, Shadow cannot die of old age.
There is, however, no implication that he does not mentally mature. In fact, it would make sense for him to start out quite young to then become more mature as time goes on, since part of the reason he was made was to accompany Maria, in a sibling-like relationship. Although it's unlikely that the Sonic Channel artwork is canon, most of it at least, it does convey a situation akin to this, which would be horribly out of character otherwise.
Look at em! They're doing their homework together!
And then a few years later, after Maria's death...
Look at him! Using a minigun for the first time!
His maturity in SA2 also seems just about on par with Sonic's, so it's safe to assume that when that game happened, they were about even in terms of mental development. In general, Shadow is a Sonic counterpart. A very, very close counterpart.
... Very... Very... Ah screw it, let's just bite the bullet.
youtube
This happened! An entire Bumblekast episode dedicated to Sonic, Shadow, and mostly Sonadow. It's pretty recent, too! From 8 months ago! In fact, it was made for Pride Month 2023; after Frontiers released. So, Ian Flynn by then became not just a comic writer, but a writer for the games.
I'm not saying Sonadow is canon, obviously, but if the current writer of the games is willing to entertain it for an entire episode and even go as far as saying it's actually really easy to make happen and you don't need to do too much work for it to happen, then it's probably safe to assume the characters are on even ground in terms of maturity.
So, if Shadow can hypothetically, in a fully canon-compatible way, make out with Sonic, and Sonic is fuckable, then Shadow is, by extension, fuckable.
Honestly this is entirely longer than necessary. I could have brought this one up earlier and saved myself the work. Where's the fun in that, though?
Either way, verdict is;
You can, in fact, fuck Shadow The Hedgehog.
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Imagine the red hair pirates learning you have prophetic dreams part 1
You: *A little uneasy because you had a prophetic dream where Shanks is nearly crushed by a yard breaking in a storm*
Shanks: What's wrong darling? You've been acting weird.
Benn: Weirder than usual, and you've been staring up at the sails. What did you do?
You: those things holding up the sails... I was wondering if they can be reinforced?"
Yassop: Why what are you planning?
You: what? I'm not planning anything, I just... I had a dream that one of them broke during a storm, and fell right here, nearly crushed the boss, there, while he was trying to hold onto a rope that had broken away from the rigging. I was actually standing about this spot when it happened, pulling on this rope. *Gesturing where you and shanks were, and where things were moving*
Yassop: *mutters under his breath* that's oddly specific.*
Shanks: *hugs you and tucks your head against his chest* aww, it was just a dream, they don't come true.
You: If only that were true. *Hugs him back*
Benn: Of course it's true, it's not like you can dream of the future.
Shanks: plus there's too much to do as is, so I'm sorry to admit, that diverting the time and resources to reinforce would be quite difficult.
You: Forget I said anything. It was as you said, just a dream. *Pulls away and walks away*
Shanks, Yassop, and Benn: *pretend that your dream doesn't bother them*
Three months later
The whole crew: *knows about you were concerned your dream would come true, and have been teasing you nonstop*
Shanks: oop look (y/n) there's rain clouds, the yard might kill me if you're not there to watch my back.
You: *is just done with everything* ha ha, very funny boss
Thirty minutes later
Yassop: *clinging the railing, so he's not thrown overboard by the high winds whipping around and is bawling* I'm sorry we made fun of you (Y/N)!
Shanks: I'm still not convinced! *Is indeed holding a rig line that broke the wooden pin that held it in place as he starts laughing*
You: * glares at him while tightening the same rigging from your dream and feeling deja vou*
Shanks: *stops laughing when he hears a sharp crack of wood as the yard breaks, and narrowly dodges it.*
You: *raise your eyebrows at him when he gawks up at you*
Benn: *is glad he was superstitious enough to believe you and to get you assigned to the area you had mentioned*
After the ship makes it out of the storm
The crew: *laying on the floor of the deck, trying to catch their breath.*
Benn: *pants* holy shit, you can see the future in your dreams.
Shanks: so (y/n).... how did you know your dream was a prophetic one before it comes true.
You: I just feels different from a normal dream, but I don't always realize a dream was prophetic, you just got lucky. And there is no telling when I'll have them, or what they'll be about, so they're unreliable, but I can recall them in great detail even decades after I've had them.
Lime Juice: that's literally the shittiest superpower I've ever heard of. Have you tried making your power stronger or learning to control it?
You: gee thanks Lime, I'll do that just right after I figure out how to.
Hongou: *disassociating, and is just calmly string up at the sky* since your power is magicie shit the answer is probably, a trance and an absolute fuck ton of drugs. Which I could use right now.
You: same
Shanks: I'll go get the drugs *jumps up and runs to his cabin*
#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece imagine#red haired shanks#akagami no shanks#shanks x reader#shanks#benn beckman#yassop#lime juice#red hair pirates#hongou#from the depths of the dragon's hoard#tma original#10/17/22#no beta we die like men#red haired pirates
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Valeria x fem reader HCs
this is for international lesbian day (ik it's late, leave me alone)
pairing: Valeria Garza x fem! reader
warnings: very nsfw, 18+ mdni, mentions of violence/killing people - isn't expanded upon
word count: 800+
Valeria Garza
dobermann gf! you can't change my mind
will literally kill anyone who upsets you and does not feel bad about it
like you just have to say a name and it's already done
watches you herself when she can
has a guard with you at all times if she's busy/not there
very happy if you update her on what you're doing while she's gone
won't answer immediately but reads everything when she can and smiles
her men are confused because they haven't seen her genuinely smiling since you last visited the cartel offices
takes you on cute dates, they're all planned out and everything
it's her pride and joy to organize everything so you can just sit there and look pretty while you enjoy yourself
like she'd remember your favorite foods and drinks and she notices those oddly psychological little things
our woman would figure out where you'd want to sit in a restaurant before you even visit it
is so nice to you, pulls out her best flirting game because she wants it to be special
she usually does it before and after she's gone if she has the time
pink/purple strap
has multiple + other toys but that one is the one she uses the most
bad bitches get dicked down with a barbie strap!
no but literally gets a strap so large she gives you a tummy bulge <3
def would brag about how her strap is the biggest dick you ever had
and if you say she's wrong... bad move, she gets a bigger one
oral fixation, rubs off on you
fingers, her strap, it doesn't matter atp. makes you deepthroat it wtv it is
also makes you keep eye contact while you do it, that fucking smug smirk
degrades you when she sees the spit gathering around your lips and dripping all over
"you're such a pathetic girl, mi vida. just look at the mess you made"
i feel like she doesn't use toys (except for the strap) often
like she uses them regularly but there's something about feeling you squeeze around her fingers, coating her hand in your cum
makes you lick her clean afterwards
also loves giving you oral
lets you grind against her face before stopping you and slapping your cunt for being impatient
edges you for so long while at it
tongue fucks you because she can and she will
and the aftercare is just so <3
she makes you feel like you're the only girl in the whole world
calls you the sweetest things while telling you how good you did for her
"took my fingers so well, didn't you, princesa? my good little girl"
GIFT GIVING!!
makes you update a whislist regularly
retail is therapy for her
so when she's mad she looks over your short list (because you don't want to be greedy and ungrateful) she adds like ten times more things for you in the cart
literally remembers anything you talk about wanting
doesn't matter if you're kidding
finds rare collector's editions if you want them
"what? someone had a debt to pay off"
would date someone younger because she knows they won't get in her way
also a breath of fresh air for her
she loves how full of life you are, you give her energy sometimes
is a bit confused when you start crying when you're upsey, I feel like she'd be bad at comforting people
just because no one was there for her when she needed it so she has no example to follow
threatens to kill whoever upset you because how dare they make her girl cry
rests your head on her shoulder/chest while you sob it out
back rubs while she tries to distract your attention from it
pulls you on her lap if it gets worse and gives you a calm yet stern talking to
that gets you out of your head enough to stop crying
kisses your forehead while you hiccup
lets you cuddle her for as long as you want afterwards
has the best advice since she has a lot more experienced than you
is right 99.99% of the time
tells you "i told you so" on the regular
loves to feel you close but only when it's just the two of you
arms around your waist, hands on thighs, arms, head, anything
kisses you a lot
fucking bites you for no reason and then laughs?!
cuteness aggression where she'd squish your cheeks or bite you
Valeria "Big Spoon" Garza
makes her feel weird to be the small spoon so she's the big spoon by default
you don't mind because she lets you snuggle up in her chest while she holds you
grabs your ass while at it
you get tits, she gets ass. it's fair
kisses the top of your head, your temples, your forehead sm
"my smart muñeca, te amo. " <3
#valeria garza#valeria garza x you#valeria garza x reader#cod headcanons#valeria cod#cartel mommy#valeria mw2#call of duty valeria#cod mw2#call of duty#cod modern warfare#valeria garza x fem!reader
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Come Over
cw: mentions blood and injury- everyone is fine.
Nothing was going according to plan.
Harry had invited Draco to come over and celebrate Valentine's Day a couple of days early; he would have the kids on the actual day and as much as Draco loved his kids, it just seemed like a night better spent alone when your relationship (especially the physical part of it) was relatively new.
What Harry hadn't been planning on was Teddy catching the cold of the century, and Alex's pet iguana buggering off to who knows where, and for Ben's entire art supply collection to get dumped across the floor. He hadn't been planning on it being so hard to get the kids handed off to Ginny and out the door, so close to the time that Draco was meant to be arriving. He hadn't planned on tripping over the toys that were still strewn about and cracking his head on the corner of the table.
And he hadn't planned on blacking out, only to be revived by a very concerned looking Draco.
He tried to sit up and immediately groaned, the world spinning around him, grasping his head and feeling the sticky, wet spot where blood had started to congeal, pooling down into his hair. "Urrgh," he managed, pulling his hand away, grateful that Draco had obviously healed whatever wound was there.
"Hold on," Draco said quickly, trying to get Harry to lie back.
"No. I'm fine-" he said swatting Draco's hand away and pushing himself to his feet.
Fortunately, Draco reached out to steady him because just as quickly as he'd stood he found himself collapsing forward again, body swaying dangerously. "For fuck's sake," Draco grunted, heaving Harry's body onto the couch. "Lie down for a moment. You've lost a lot of blood."
Harry watched, sulking but obedient, as Draco dug through his bag.
"Here," he said holding out a vial, "blood replenishing potion," he added.
He swallowed it down, gagging a bit at the horrid texture.
"Pain potion for the massive headache that I'm sure you've got."
With a groan he swallowed that one too and the pain in his head lessened to a more reasonable level. "Sorry," he croaked, rubbing his eyes. "This wasn't-"
"Shut up," Draco snapped and Harry looked up at him uncertainly, he didn't often use that tone with him anymore. "Sorry," he said, pressing a shaking hand to his mouth. "Sorry, Harry, you-" he broke off, shaking his head, "I thought that-"
"Hey," Harry said, reaching for him, tugging him down toward the couch. "Hey," he whispered, pulling him into his arms as he saw the tears bright in his eyes. "Tell me," he requested.
"You were laying on the floor in a pool of blood," he rasped. "You weren't moving, I thought-"
"Oh," he said, holding Draco tighter, "I'm sorry, sweetheart."
Draco nodded against his neck.
"Sorry," he breathed again. "I'm alright."
Draco nodded again and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, holding him for a long moment. When he pulled back he said, "Come on," helping Harry up off the couch. "Let me run you a bath and I'll wash the blood out of your hair."
Harry groaned, even as he allowed Draco to tug him along to the bathroom, "That's disgusting, I don't want you to have to clean me up-"
"It's literally my job," Draco said, "I clean people up from things worse than this all the time. I don't think it's disgusting at all."
"With a cleaning spell, not a sponge bath," Harry argued, feeling quite silly as he thought about the situation as a whole. Draco must think that he was a complete idiot. And how can you find someone attractive if you think they're stupid and incompetent. Maybe the floor would just swallow him.
Draco started the bath with a tidy flick of the wand before his hands were carefully undressing Harry, like he was a child unable to do it himself.
"Honestly, Draco," he huffed, pushing his hands away, "I'm fine! I can-"
"Let me?" Draco asked, voice coming out soft and hesitant. "I know you can do it," he added. "But just," he let out a shuddering sigh, "let me help. Let me take care of you?"
Harry blinked, people didn't take care of him. Hadn't ever really taken care of him, outside of the hospital induced injuries. He frowned uncertain, "You don't have to do that-"
"I want to," Draco said, palm cupping Harry's cheek as his eyes searched Harry's. "I want so badly to be allowed to take care of you, to love you, to treat you with all of the tenderness in the world."
"Why?" Harry asked, not sure why he was trying so hard to push the other man away when he was just trying to do something kind.
But Draco's eyes just softened around the edges, "You deserve to be taken care of."
Throat a little too tight, all Harry could do was nod.
The smile that lit up Draco's face was breath-taking and he slowly, reverently undressed Harry, like he was something precious, something fragile. When he'd finished undressing him, he helped him into the tub, resting his head against the back, folding a towel under his neck.
Harry sighed and let his body relax into the warm water, watching Draco from the corner of his eye as he rolled up his sleeves and gathered the supplies to wash his hair.
Quietly, Draco took care of him; washing and conditioning his hair, keeping the water the perfect temperature, adding in lavender bath salts while he massaged Harry's scalp, soothing away the last of his headache.
"Thanks," he murmured, tipping his head back to look at Draco.
"Of course," Draco replied, combing Harry's still-damp curls back so he could press a kiss to his forehead. "Come on," he said softly. "Let's go eat the food I brought in your bed."
Harry allowed himself to be pulled from the tub, Draco dried him with a soft, fuzzy towel that he'd cast a heating charm on before bundling him into the room. Draco fed him grapes, and cheese, and characters, and meats, placing the foods on Harry's tongue for him. And then finished off by feeding him sweet chocolates that melted in his mouth.
When they'd finished eating, Draco packed everything away before slipping the two of them under the covers and holding Harry close.
Humming, he let his eyes drift closed, "I feel a little guilty."
"Why?" Draco asked curiously, pressing a kiss to his temple.
He shrugged, "tonight was supposed to be about us," he said. "We were supposed to get to have some quality time-"
"We are," Draco said, like he was confused by Harry's words.
"No," he huffed, "I mean we were supposed to get to have dinner with candles, drink a nice bottle of wine, have steamy sex-"
Draco huffed a laugh, "You're on blood replenishers and you have a head injury. This is just what the healer ordered-"
"I know," he said, curving his body into Draco's, letting the other man's arm draw him closer. "You're not dating me so that you can have one more patient-"
"Harry," he interrupted, "You're not another patient. I love you," he said softly. "Taking care of each other is what you do when you love someone. You take care of me, too," he added.
"That's different."
"Different how?" Draco asked with a laugh.
He shook his head, pressing his forehead against Draco's collarbone. "I don't know. I just like to do it for you but I don't like you doing it for me."
"Why?"
"What are you, my therapist?" he grumbled.
"No," he said, "Just your boyfriend, trying to understand why you're allowed to love and care for me, but I'm not allowed to do the same."
He swallowed, thought for a moment, tried to get the words in order. "I just," he sighed, "I don't want to be too much," he whispered. "I want to make it easy for you to stay, not harder."
"And you think letting me take care of you when you're hurt makes it harder to love you?"
He shrugged, "yeah."
"Being allowed to love you, being allowed to take care of you," he said, "It's a privilege. I know this is hard for you, letting people in, feeling like you're burdening them with your existence-"
Harry's eyes stung at the casual way Draco put those feelings into words.
"-and I'm grateful that you let me love you. The real you," he added softly. "He's my favorite."
Harry huffed a derisive laugh, "the sniveling mess, who tripped over a toy and bashed his own head in, is your favorite?"
"No," Draco said, "the sniveling mess who let me take care of him when it was hard is my favorite. The sniveling mess who tells me about what he's struggling with while clinging to me like a limpet is my favorite. You, being honest with me, letting me see the hurt," he kissed Harry's forehead, "You're my favorite."
"Thanks," he whispered, not entirely ready to believe Draco but not ready to push any further either.
"Thank you," he murmured back, kissing Harry's forehead.
And it wasn't always easy, healing from the wounds of childhood, but both Harry and Draco found that the patience, love, and dedication of the other was enough in time.
-------------------
written for the @hdcandyheartsfest prompt: 'Come Over'
read more of my hdcandyheartsfest23 fics here.
#did i give all of the children different names because i hate the idea of harry and ginny naming their kids what they did? maybe.#(yes. the answer is yes i did.)#fluff#also should probably be part of the 'author is attempting to heal from trauma' series *finger guns*#drarry#love#soft#hdcandyheartsfest#established relationships#care giving#healing#tenderness#healer draco#divorced harry#dad harry
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Honestly felt like such a disservice to Ezra "I Will Risk My Life For People I Just Met" Bridger. The "I will solo confront Thrawn and 3 ships worth of troops on the slim chance my plan works" to not even try to AT LEAST scout out Thrawn's stuff. You seriously can't tell me someone who spent a good chunk of their life sneaking around and stealing couldn't do that especially with the reduced numbers present. The literal best part of the finale was him getting the emitter similar to Kanan but where the fuck did the crystal come from
Yeah, I questioned the fact that Ezra had apparently been doing NOTHING but moving around with the Noti for the last decade. He just says it's suicide to try to get anywhere near, but... it does feel like a disservice that he couldn't do ANYTHING AT ALL and would've been nicer if he could've had more info on hand to pass off.
The entire sequence of them breaking in just felt like a video game where you defeat one group of enemies and then something happens and now you have a new obstacle and then there's a mini-boss and then and then and then. They're not utilizing any of the information they DO have on hand (like ANY of their experience with Dathomir and the Nightsisters and zombies). I dunno, it didn't feel all that interesting or unique to me as an action sequence, either. And having Ezra have more knowledge of what might be coming because he'd broken in a few times but perhaps not made it all the way or had to fight zombies a few times or something could've helped with that particular issue.
I'm actually less fussed about where the crystal came from than I am about having Kanan's emitter. Because Jedi just kind-of... acquiring kyber crystals randomly is at this point a fairly time-honored tradition. Luke gets a new green lightsaber pretty randomly in ROTJ and while I think it gets explained away as having been via supplies Obi-Wan had in a deleted scene (a quick Google search tells me that Legends apparently said it was a synthetic crystal but that the concept of a synthetic kyber crystal no longer exists so, it still begs the question of where OBI-WAN got a random kyber crystal from). And Ezra himself does exactly the same thing in Rebels back when he lost his blaster saber at the end of season 2 and magically has a new green saber at the beginning of season 3 without a SINGLE explanation of where it came from (he can't go back to the Lothal temple at that point anymore and we never see him grab any of the lightsabers from the dead Jedi on Malachor).
So. Whatever. Sure. He found a kyber crystal on Peridea somewhere, fine.
But using Kanan's emitter (and the added salt in the wound of the blade being BLUE now) just felt like lazy nostalgia bait to me. This is going to sound really insensitive and rude and insulting and I'm really sorry, this isn't aimed at you specifically, I don't think you're stupid for liking this moment, I just didn't care for it and my thoughts below are going to edge into a rant about how frustrated I am with the way this show has gone and why this moment doesn't work for me.
I want Ezra to be able to have his OWN blade still, I want him to be able to have something unique to him that reflects the experiences he's had in this new galaxy, I wanted them do something new and unique and interesting and instead they just... basically gave him Kanan's saber. Like yeah he constructed it to be new, but it's blue and it's the same distinctive emitter so it may as well just be Kanan's saber. It creates emotions because it's Kanan's saber, but personally this just felt like yet another moment where they relied entirely on nostalgia for Rebels to make the moment emotional rather than doing any real work to make the moment emotional or interesting or develop Ezra's character in any way at all. They've barely mentioned Kanan ONCE up until this episode and just as a quick throw away line to explain that Jacen might have special powers. There's nothing from Hera, or Jacen, or Sabine, or even EZRA prior to this moment that really creates any tension or emotion around Kanan's character and his loss, so this moment where Ezra just recreates Kanan's saber feels... hollow. Empty.
And given that this whole show's theme was about how great attachments are and how clinging to your loved ones is actually the only good thing to do in life, it felt a little frustrating to have Ezra recreate Kanan's saber. It SHOULD feel like Ezra trying to honor Kanan in some way and do this as a healthy remembrance of Kanan, but given the way they're acting towards Ahsoka's memories of Anakin and Sabine's choices regarding Ezra, it starts to feel more like Ezra refusing to just let go of Kanan and allow Kanan's legacy to be the things he taught Ezra. Ahsoka is DEFINED by Anakin and that relationship and so now Ezra's Jedi weapon also is defined by his master, one of the few things a Jedi has to truly identify themselves with.
We're not getting this nice message of "the master passes on everything they've learned to their student, but the student still goes their own way" so much as we're getting this really weird like... "masters and apprentices are intrinsically tied to each other for life and are the most important relationship either of them will ever have to another person and it defines who you become" kind of message. And I don't really care for it. And I think my frustration with that message took what COULD'VE been a nice homage to Kanan and made it into a symptom of something I just didn't like.
And I'll connect it to the problem you brought up first about how it felt out of character for Ezra not to be able to sneak onto the base to do any kind of recon or to try to take out Thrawn on his own at all. They don't WANT to explore Ezra as his own character any more than they want to explore Ahsoka as her own character or Sabine as her own character. Ahsoka and Sabine are just proxies for Anakin, they're variations of "Anakin as he should've been." Sabine and Ahsoka make all the same mistakes so that Ahsoka can sit there and go "Actually Anakin was always right and he was a good master and I'm going to act exactly like him except somehow without any of the genocide or enslavement bits."
Ezra I think is having a similar problem where I don't think they really CARE about who Ezra is as a character to delving that deeply into his psyche and how this time would have actually changed or impacted him or what his relationship with Kanan means to him. Ezra is just... there to be the catalyst through which to have Sabine act like Anakin so that Ahsoka can think about Anakin. So they're not trying to make Ezra act in character, they don't CARE that Ezra should be able to connect to the Howlers because space wolves are kind-of Ezra's THING. They don't CARE that Ezra should be able to sneak onto Thrawn's base because that's a major element of his character. They don't CARE about giving Ezra a unique lightsaber to explore who he is now as a person after all of this time. That's not the point of having Ezra on this show. Ezra is a means to an end and just yet another piece of nostalgia bait basically.
The thing I've said about most Star Wars media beyond the main 6 films is that it's all fan service, right? There's nothing INHERENTLY wrong with fan service or nostalgia bait. A lot of the stuff I genuinely love also does a lot of both. Rogue One, Andor, Obi-Wan Kenobi, even Rebels itself. The thing is, I happened to be the fan that those pieces of media were servicing. So I'm going to be able to watch them and let go of what little frustrations might exist as just nitpicks rather than things that make me give up on it as a lost cause entirely. I am NOT the fan being serviced in the Ahsoka show. At all. There isn't a single thing in this show that is aimed at a fan like me. There is NOTHING FOR ME on this show at all. So all of the little fan service-y nostalgia bait moments aren't hitting because I'm just continuously getting frustrated by it over and over and not getting even any real glimmers of like... "aw, that was nice though." Even the "nice" moments get slotted into the wider patterns of this show that I don't like.
So hey, the nostalgia bait of Kanan's saber probably worked for a lot of people and honestly, I'm glad it did. I'm glad there were people who got to really enjoy seeing Ezra recreate Kanan's saber as a nice homage to the character and their relationship. I'm glad there were some people who got to enjoy even this small part of this show.
I just... can't. I wanted more and I didn't get it.
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