#not safe for tolkien
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There are 3 Gronds: Big Grond, little Grond and GROND
#and we all know which one is which😏#grond#melkor#morgoth#crack#silm crack#shitpost#silm shitpost#silmarillion#not safe for tolkien
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Smaug ghost-wrote this before interrupting the moment.
#everyone’s a third wheel#no one is safe#the hobbit#bilbo baggins#thorin oakenshield#thorin x bilbo#bagginshield#books#movies#tolkien#fanfic#lotr#martin freeman#richard armitage#ao3#peter jackson#dwarves#elves
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girl idk what to tell you, sometimes you've just gotta rip the blorbo apart
#Finrod#angband#the werewolf#sorta?#angband is it's own trigger warning but just to be safe#tw blood#tw gore#silmarillion#tolkien#art
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The Christmas gift that I waited almost 2 months for: Two Towers with full orchestra and choir!
Five stars, definitely worth the wait. The only challenge is how to divide your attention between the movie you love and the fascinating chance to watch the musicians at work. There was a guy who did nothing but shake chains and hit an anvil during the Isengard scenes!
A few random thoughts:
—The crowd was really cheering at the first appearance of each beloved character. So when Háma showed up, I whooped for him. And in a theater of 6,000 people, I was the only one. But fuck it, someone had to do it. Háma rules.
—The crowd also cheered for the origin of all the popular gifs and memes, which REALLY confused my husband because he is Not Familiar. I had to explain, for example, that people cheered when Aragorn kicked the helmet because that’s the point in the movie where people explain about Aragorn kicking the helmet. He remains confused.
—In a startlingly Bilbo-ish turn of events, when reaching for my purse at intermission, I found a ring under the seat. Here it is as my husband was about to give it to an usher:
So if you’re a dark lord who lost your ring of power during a weekend getaway in Manhattan, just know that it’s in the Radio City Music Hall lost and found box now.
#lotr#lord of the rings#tolkien#lotr concert#two towers#keep it secret keep it safe Radio City staff!#éomer and haldir were 😍 as usual#but that goes without saying
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Legolas, responding to a request from the peredhel family to make some traditional silvan meals bc they’re curious: i don’t have the ingredients.
#iykyk#silvans eat dark creatures#and are willing to chow down on maia#balrog is a delicacy#legolas: *rumaging throug the pantry* ya’ll don’t have any spiders or wargs in stock!?#they still eat normal food as well#but they can safely digest things that hvae been infected by the darkness just fine#lord of the rings#lotr#silmarillion#the hobbit#lotr elves#legolas#silvans#mirkwood#incorrect tolkien quotes#incorrect lotr quotes#incorrect hobbit quotes
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I can’t watch the hobbit movies like a normal person, I will scream and cry and kick my feet every five seconds and giggle every time bilbo and thorin are on screen together and think about all the headcanons, facts, behind the scenes, deleted scenes and memes so while you’re watching a regular movie I am having a crazy party in my head
#glad my dad knows every line#and we are being annoying together#it’s impossible not to smile throughout entire movie#they’re my safe space#hobbit brainrot#the hobbit#tolkien#text
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Tolkien thought: during the War of the Ring proper, the few elves left in Middle-Earth that survived the First Age must have experienced some uncomfortable déjà vu/history repeats feelings about their positions on the game board:
One the one hand, you have Galadriel almost becoming Melian as she uses most of her power to maintain Lothlorien, all the while knowing there will inevitably come a point where her protections fail and the outside world destroys everything she’s built.
Meanwhile, you have Elrond stepping into both his grandfathers’ positions as steward of another magically-concealed sanctuary that he doesn’t want to expose by directly contributing to the fight (as well as setting Significant Marriage Prerequisites to deter his daughter’s human boyfriend*)
Even before you draw the other correlations between Gil-galad dying because he took the fight to Mordor (which works regardless of whether his father was Fingon or Orodreth), or Celebrimbor simultaneously becoming Feanor and Maedhros by creating something wonderful, being misled by the Shadow, and dying in agony, I can’t imagine this awareness made the elves feel particularly confident about winning the fight against the Shadow this time around...
*Disclaimer - despite the moody turn this meta took, it was inspired by the thought of Elrond hearing about Aragorn and Arwen, immediately clocking the Beren/Luthien parallels, and freaking out bc “Does that make me THINGOL?!”
One frantic mirror/elven-ring conference call with his in-laws and Gandalf and several glasses of wine later, Elrond added ‘be Turgon, not Thingol**’ to his daily mantras (especially after he caught Arwen and Aragorn making out in the Hall of Fire)
**Seriously, how was a member of the House of Finwe, especially one famously ‘bold and fiery of heart, and loath to abandon any task to which they had put their hands until the bitter end’ the more rational one here?
#jrr tolkien#the silmarillion#lord of the rings#elrond#elrond peredhel#I think Galadriel would have agreed that ensuring her granddaughter was safe and comfortable was a fair deal#tolkien meta#one fandom to rule them all#my meta
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Maedhros and Maglor at the Mereth Aderthad
(They are sloshed AF and having a good time for once)
#Mags is gonna be holding back his bro’s hair while he deals with his own hangover#only these two came because Maedhros wanted to rehab the fam’s reputation right?#he didn’t want Celegorm and Curufin scheming#or Caranthir insulting anyone#Maglor is a safe choice#he’s just gonna sing for everyone#or alternatively: Celegorm and Curufin’s invite got “lost”#Caranthir refused to go#and no one could reach the twins at the moment (happens a lot)#maedhros#Maglor#mereth aderthad#silmarillion#tolkien#silm fanart
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Hypotetical Silmarillion AU:
Let’s say the Noldor don’t commit the Kinslaying and instead get Finarfin and his kids and some of their friends to help them build boats, despite knowing that this will take a while. By the time the Sun and Moon rise, they’re ready to leave Valinor.
#i don’t agree with the idea that the valar gave the elves no way to safely leave#they didn’t go out of their way to help them leave impulsively with imperialist goals and a very nasty oath#under the leadership of an unhinged and irresponsible demagogue#which i say was fair#that doesn’t mean that a more thoughtful plan would have been impossible#the silmarillion#tolkien
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Mikhail Potekhin as Beren
Сквозь тьму я пройду, любя!
I shall walk through darkness, loving!
#it's...... it's been a week#please be safe and be well#Beren#Beren and Luthien#Lay of Leithian#Lay of Leithian Rock Opera#Tolkien#Silmarillion#lol the rock opera
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Mmm... will probably be reblogging others' posts less here from now on, because I really can't enter the majority of blogs in the fandom without exposing myself to nsfw content and such. This goes against my religious principles and I used to rely on the supposition that it was ok as long as it wasn't my goal to find it, but someone who's opinion I respect recently told me I absolutely shouldn't do it.
I have a pretty large backlog of saved posts, I may yet put up here though...
Anyway, thought this was something I should get off my chest.
#There are a *few* Tolkien blogs that are safe for me. but I do feel some guilt over relying on them#because that's just outsourcing the problem. I have a strong suspicion those people are also going against their principles...#being people of religion themselves#personal#I guess
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yknow i actually think the scene in rotk where sauron's armies launch the heads of the soldiers killed at osgiliath over the walls of minas tirith is kinda...although it's a film addition it really gives "last gasp of sauron's second-age Battlefield Dramatics." i mean this is a guy who marched to battle with celebrimbor's mutilated body as a standard. like let me put that plainly. he tortures him and shoots him full of arrows and hangs him from a pole and marches into battle with his dead body as a banner. like. Hello? one of his last corporeal acts is to grab gil-galad by the throat and burn him alive with the literal heat of his hand. i mean. there's really nothing quite like it in all of the third age. so adding this like. well it definitely is a horrifying thing to do and has the intended effect on morale and all of that and its certainly in the history books or whatever but dare i say it does NOT have the panache. it really makes him give. well. kind of burnt out theatre kid giving his final performance grasping for the height of his golden days and just kind of falling humiliatingly short. yeah i phrased it like that bc i can't stop thinking ab aragorn and the king of the dead being very theatre-kid4theatre-kid. "yeah so im gonna say this army and then youre gonna run through me from behind" or however that post goes.
#.txt#tolkien#uhhhh#tw gore#?#idk just to be safe. i kind of. went Into It with the description lol#anyway yeah like.............idk! kind of a low for him!#edit i said 'turn him to ash' which is a crazy euphemism to use when what i really meant was 'burn him alive' LOL
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Tolkien Secret Santa NSFW Advent Calendar Day 6: Hotsprings & Onsens
Ao3 Link
Celegorm/Aredhel
Words: 913
Rating: E
There was nothing better after a hunt than a soak in the springs. Hidden deep in the caves of Oromë’s forests, the hollow was thick with steam, and so warm that sweat beaded on Tyelko’s brow in moments.
He wasted no time, his tunic and trousers dumped in a heap, boots thrown haphazardly on top. Ammë always said he was less house trained than Huan.
“Shall I close my eyes and turn around, cousin?” he taunted, watching Irissë begin to strip out of her leathers, her bow with his own by the entrance.
She did not answer except with a laugh, instead turning her back to him, giving him a perfect view of her – the muscles rippling under smooth brown skin, the perfect curve of her hips, the supple flesh he longed to sink his teeth into. A fine sheen of sweat covered her, and in the faint glow of Laurelin’s light, creeping through the cave opening, she was as beautiful as Vána.
“Get the water, Tyelko.”
He laughed at her. But he did not disobey.
Tyelko was taller than his cousin, by no means the tallest of the family, though he was certainly among the broadest, thick with muscle and strength. He climbed into the pool, hissing at the almost-scalding water, but it was a relief to soak sore muscles, to wash away the grime of the forest.
Submerged to the waist, he turned to look at her and inhaled sharply.
Bare, she sauntered over to him, slow and deliberate. Irissë took her time in climbing up onto the bank, letting him see every curve, every arch, every little scar and callous from the hunt. It made his blood rush.
“You are such a tease, Irissë.”
“Just because you get heated at the mere sight of breasts does not mean I am teasing you, you incorrigible beast.” Irissë laughed, as she draped her legs over his lap, gracefully letting her calf brush against his half-hard cock, taunting. She leaned back against the bank, damp dark curls sticking to her face, the steam shrouding her. Her breast heaved, tawny nipples just begging for his touch.
“But you are teasing me.”
“I am.” Her smile was like a wolf’s grin. “What are you going to do about it, Tyelko?”
He growled, low in his throat. Tyelko had never been one to deny his impulses - especially not in matters of the bed, not when the Lord of the Forests had welcomed him into his band of hunters, into their beds, and his own holy one. He reached out to grab Irissë by the waist.
But his cousin was ready. Her strong hand grasped his wrist and bent it back, but not quite enough to be painful, but he knew a warning when he felt it. Before he could open his mouth to taunt her further, she had risen, fluid as the river, and then she was on his lap, the slick folds of her cunt brushing teasingly against his cock.
With the steam of the spring cloaking her, she looked like a vision from Irmo, half real, faded, as if a ghost returned to haunt his dreams. Tyelko smiled. If he would want anyone to haunt him, it would be her. A ghost ought to be entertaining and while he would not give her his heart – she would not want it, in any case – there was none who amused him like she did.
The dark strands of her hair brushed against his chest, caressing him, as she leaned in to kiss him. She devoured his mouth, hungry and demanding, and Tyelko for once relented, so wound up from her teasing he had no patience for games. Not this time.
Irissë used his distraction effectively, grasping his wrists and pinning them against the bank of the spring. She growled, “Stay still. You would not deny a mistress of the hunt.”
It was true; this was one of his favourites, of their many games, to pretend that one of them was the prey, the other the predator. Tyelko had not expected to become the prey so suddenly. She rolled her hips over him, making him whine like a kicked animal. The hunt had worked up a need in both of them, his desire only more obvious than hers. She raised her hips and sank down onto him. Unified, they groaned, and she pressed her face into the hollow of his neck, grazing with her teeth. His cock throbbed within her, but she did not move.
“Irissë…”
Another biting kiss and then she was riding him with wild abandon, holding him down as she took her pleasure from him. Tyelko kissed and nipped at her throat, her collar, her shoulder, twisting in her grasp to get free, to touch.
She relented and released his hands. Tyelko needed no instruction, one hand cupping her breast and squeezing, twisting her nipple between his roughened fingers. His other hand sank into the water between them, between her legs, to rub circles over her clit the way he knew she liked.
“Tyelko!” Irissë came with a keening wail, impossibly tight as she clenched around him, hotter than the water they sat in, her head thrown back and curls tumbling down her back, chest heaving. Tyelko followed her over the edge, the groans of his pleasure echoing into the cavern, left panting.
Irissë slumped against his chest, catching her breath, and grinning up at him.
“Your turn to hunt next time, Tyelkormo.”
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Misheard the phrase "similar literary style" as "silmaril literary style"
I was like 👀 do tell more
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I´m done with the calendar except the 25... all up to the 24 are done but I can´t do anything with the 25 so while I´m waiting on my brain to work I´m doing some projects - like making characters designs, there is a lot I´m not sure about so some characters look a bit different when I draw them, and I don´t like that
I found a design for Melkor right before the war of wrath, I already have one for him in Utumno, I like the idea of him loving colorful clothes, even when he comes home with the Silmarils, although he slowly lets them go and walk more in black.
Then when the war of wrath starts, he cut´s he´s hair (Melkor loses his ability to create color when he steals the Silamrils he can still change form bc tolkien claims he loses his fair form when he takes the Silmarils yet he still shows up in a fair form when he first meets the humans so I understand "fair form" as color)
with the iron crown under cut
#tolkien#silmarillion#melkor#morgoth#character design#digital art#silm art#my art#i think ill use the middle one most#the third is more of a hunting thing or that kind of thing i dont really think he leaves the house at this point#it still have some colors in it and look less ixpensiv so its probaly hes go to when he feels safe or just good#im also working on something to one of my fav fics by one of my fave fic writers and i know they know who they are as i talked with them
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Heya, so, just dropping by to mention that no, rumors of my demise were exaggerated, but I am pretty tired lately, so don’t do much blogging.
On a brighter note, my collection of Tolkien in English is growing steadily, I will be receiving copies of the Children of Hurin and Unfinished Tales soon, OCs are being rotated in my head like in a world’s worst microwave and I have a lot of oatmeal cookies.
#crysandthings#tolkien#i need to ramble about Measse and Lily like SO BADLY#hngh#i am calling upon tolkien-interested mutual to enable me#also i haven't ignored any asks they are treasured safely in my hoard#i am looking on them with adoration#hopefully will answer soon
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