If his mom isn't 3 meters tall then I don't WANT IT

An oc I whipped up for my friends' universe !! Rlly happy with her design! :]

[click for better quality!!]

Can you share some of fav character headcanons ?

oh good heavens. headcanons are thoughts right? i dont usually have those, and its hard for me to recall like.. the slice of life stuff. i have a lot of scattered thoughts and feelings but i dont usually tend to a concrete canon so theyre not really headcanons in the traditional sense. im also uncomfortable saying fav headcanons because i feel like i can only favorite someone elses work and not my own (i dont want to be… egotistical). ill detail some of my loose thoughts i like to entertain below though im not sure if this is exactly right

im a big fan of artificer just being plain out mean and really sucking. shes wily and quick tempered, a real firecracker, all over the place, grungey. ive been meaning to draw anthro designs and shes just an unkempt ratty sort of mess of a person. hunter is not at all like her, its very level headed, aloof, put together- it has its missions and motives and a strong sense of justice. in my mind, they used to travel together and resonated very well, artificer wants to help on behalf of pebbles on the journey to moon and theyre both just boisterous enough to interact pretty well, but they split up dramatically when artificer demands hunter abandon pups (survivor and monk) so that she wont have to see them die and feel responsible for it and have been enemies since. i really like plural inv, its been kicking around in my head and i need to iron it out. id personally use it as the reason to have all of the names, with inv/enot/sofanthiel/paincat/nightcat/??? all as distinct alters, and possibly generalized designs. but i can hardly develop how i want to interpret one character, much less 6 of them! so i just keep it on the back burner for now. and as detailed before, i really like meta narrative inv. oh one i think about a lot! with how cycles work, i think its that everyone experiences their own isolated line of quantum immortality, they dont literally respawn over and over again but that there are infinite parallel universes spiralling off from their origin and every "death" is noncanon, they consider the one where they live forever canon. they only respawn (zoop to the canon timeline) to themselves, when creatures that arent them die they die forever in that line (this is why artificers pups dont come back).

i think those are the only things i can remember i think about right now… i have really bad memory loss so if i had other headcanons then i forgot them. you could just ask me for my feelings on things and those usually lead to me thinking eventually!

Aight since you sent me some of the questions I'm sending you some!

1 and/or 2, 7, 10 and/or 11, 14, and 15

Feel free to pick and choose which ones you wanna answer if you don't wanna answer all of them ^^

What is/was your favorite subject in school and why?

I really lo ed math !! it was nice qhen i understoos the moethod and reasoning, because then i can just sit and do tbe same rhing over and over again. Oh, doing percentages? ik how to calculate that and why it is that way. Stats? oh yeah theres diff things for specifci reasons and you figure it out tjis way. FUXKING ALGEBRA AUAHGHGG. THERES THINGS YOU FILL IN ITA THE SAME FORMULA EACH TIME JUST SOUBLE CHECK AND YOURE GOOD <33

What's a subject you feel knowledgeable about (including fandom stuff!)? What're your favorite things/facts in that subject?

I feel pretty knowlegable about abuse and childcare/certain child psuch things! not very much, but ig uts the thing i could ramble the most abt aside from lego monkie kid and a few toehr fandoms i cant quiiiiteee rembemebr. My fzv fun fact is that threats of physical abuse can and mostly do have the same mental effects as if the person had followed through (ie/ getting told by your dad that hes gonna hit you, after enough time/consistently enough, you will react as though he had hit you all those times)

Do you have any projects going on right now? What's it about? What's your favorite thing about it?

I dont have any projects going on right now, but i just finished one so ill tell you about that !! This is my dnd character, Bramble Elodia! She was created by a man named Foth Eir Oak Elodia. He has a dream of creating a city full of just robots and mschinery and living artifical people, such as bramble who is based off of porcelain bjd's!! :3 my fav tbing abt her is her cute, friendly nature despite her tall (she is 7'2) stature and sense of looming. I also ADORE her camera apeture eye, she has a camera in her head. Funf act abt her !! she has water based mechanisms inside her, like little mills and such, so she always sounds like flowing water :}

What are some (movies/shows/books/video games/songs/other media) you'd recommend and why?

Movies - Tangled !! Its fun and lighthearted with some pretty epic emotional beats. very relateable.

Mirror Mirror (2012) !! IT IS A SUPER FUN SPIN ON SNOW WHITES STORY. REALLY GOOD EMOTIONAL BEATS. PHENOMENAL COSTUMING AND AET DESIGN. VERY FUN AND HAS ASILLY ANTICS AND THE MAIN CHARACTER (SNOW WHITE) GETS REVENGE IN A SUPER COOL WAY AND ITA NOTBPRESENTED AS WRONG THAT SHE WANTED REVENGE. GOOD COLOUR SYMBOLISM. SUPER FUN MAGIC SYSTEM. ITS GOOD ITS REALLY GOOD JUST TRUST ME PLEASE WATCH IT

Shows - LEGO MONKIE KID !! INSANE ATORYLINE, HAS FUN GOOFY GUYS, REALLY GOOD FEELINGS. VERYBFUN AND SUCH A COOL ART STYLE !!

Books - Percy Jackson. Need i say more?

Video Games - Deep Rock Galactic !! Go into the mines and kill aome bugs! Good customisation, none of the classes are useless, good for accesibility settings. Has subtitles. Rock and Stone !! Cute robots too (bosco and molly and bet-c and dottie etc) Good and fun lore. Angry Man Is Funny (mission cobtrol). If you get it i can play with you !! :D

Songs - Two of Many by The Happy Fits! very cute song <33. Cotards Solution by Will Wood and the Tapeworms! SO COOL !

Other Media - Satorun Devouring His Son by Goya! its a good painting.

What hobbies do you have? What's your favorite part? Your least favorite part?

I mostly do digital art, i write too, and kandi art as well! For digital art, my fav is definitely the colours and special effects i can do. I have the whole rainbow whene i need it, i can easily change and wdit the pallette, its so fun and good. Least favourite is comijg up with what to draw akdbfjbgf

For writing, id say my favourite part is using nice words and portraying things drawings cant express (at my skill level i mean) and how you can change the readers feelings with just a few simple word choices- its nice to cut through to your reader like that. Feels like im making a connection. Least favourite part is keeping the words in my head and the words in my word doc the same or similar. Im bad at keeping the words in my brain when i think up cool things to say, so i tend to get the vauge thoguht down but not what i wsnted

For kandi art, i LOVE how pretty it is! giving it away as gifts is fun too. The beads slot together so well, creating paths for the string js fun and so satisfying. Least favourite is when i ACCIDENTALLY DROP THE STRING AND THREE HOURS IF WORK GOES DOWN THE DRAIN T-T. its a little finnecky sometimes too, and i got big clumsy sausage fingers jsjfjgjf

Silliest thing you've ever done?

okag okay. no judging ne over this even though i was like 14 and passed the age i should have done stuff lsike. uh. thatm this. i suppose.

So. Im 14. im about to make a hot chocolate. the water has boiled.

I decide i want filtered water instead. I decide, in a moment if beautiful clarity, that the shirt ive been wearing for like three weeks straight without breaks (deppression) would make a good filter.

I put my shirt over the mug. i am standing on my tippy toes to reach the counter. there is cat hair on my shirt and it is deeply stained. I have not yet realised that my shirt will then be wet with BOILING HOT WATER ON MY STOMACH. nobody is home. i am safe in the ignorance and ignorance of all rules and laws.

The mug is halfway full.

I need to take a break from being on my tippy toes. i stand down on flat feet.

the mug tips.

i now have boiling water all over my stomach.

my wet and warm shirt is now on my now burnt stomach.

i go upstairs and douse myself with coldish water in the shower.

sopping wet and in pain. i cry

i do not come clean about this for a whole year and a half. i say i just spilled it on my stomach normally.

end scene

What was your dream job(s) as a kid? Why did you wanna do it? Is it still your dream job?

My first two dream jobs were fahsionista/fashipn designer and an author! I wanted to be a fahsion designer cause i lovelove clothes and being able to express myself really well. As for author? I just like dwriting, and telling kinda fucked up stories (at my age and reading and writing elvel i mean). Mostly wrote about lesbians. Didnt know what a lesbian was.

Id always loved story telling, i just thoguth and still think its really cool. When i was about 4, i think dad said, i would tell HIM bedtime stories ibstead of him telling me any. This more than once lead to me telling stories such as the one where a big monster went to this town and atr my entire family (i went into as much grotesque detail as my brain could muster) and sawed off peoples limbs to use as utensils like chopsticks and then ate those too and bit off peoples heads to trhow them at my other family members. the big momster had fun doing this. much fun. then at the edn i reveleaed that the monster was ME the wjole time and yeah dad said it was scary for me to do stuff like that.

Also do you KNOW how concerned my teacher was when 4th grade me wrote a story about two girls locked in this guys basment in tiny little capsules and they had to escape with the other girls that qere there? and how they had to kill the giy that trapped them ans the emotional aftermath of taking a human life, but knowing it was them or you and they saved all these women too? so concerned. dad said i wrote like if stephen king loved pink glitter and fairies that ate people. and was also 9 years old.

sorry these werent answered in roder i jsut copy apsted all of the questions so i wouldnt forgor skfbgngjgj

Henloooooo!!!!! I am not sure if you are still looking for asks but I have one.what are your fav ocs from ur friends?

Ooh, I'm always open for asks anon!!

Hm, my favourite ocs from my friends? Ill start!

@boiling-potato - Trickster 1000% I love her so much!! Seriously everything about her *chefs kiss*

@feelin-lo - Logan and lo, both of them have amazing designs, and amazing lore! I can't wait to learn more about them!!

@aesopsbaby - sylvester, his design is really cool, I'll love to know more abt them!!

@mystique-flowers-and-sibling-duo - FROST!!!! I'm the gayest gay ever but if frost proposed to me I'd agree without hesitation 😳💕

@startheimpactfangirl - megumi!! She was so fun to draw! I'd love to draw her again! ^_^

I'm sorry if I misses anyone, and sorry for the really late reply!! I was busy with school and such and more personal thingies ;_;

10, 23, and 34 for p101 meme?

*goes to sleep immediately after posting an ask game* Um. Hi guys good morning

10: what does your flag look like? what are your crew colors?

OK SO All of my pirates are different ocs and i give them all different flags. So ill send my 2 fav oc ones :P and describe what i would make MINE (checkerboard print, aqua/purple, that winged heart symbol in all black to look like the clandestine bartskull. teehee)

1 is my oc mina's flag, her colors r teal and black! 2 is my oc catalina's flag, his colors r purple and yellow :]

23: show us your pirate and tell us a bit about them

IM GONNA DO A READMORE HERE BC THIS STUFF GOT REALLLLY LONG. SORRY

Omg ok like i said theyre all ocs soo let me grab a screenshot of my like whole crew loading page.

so jsyk NONE of their outfits are what theyd actually wear (excluding catalinas robe). I dont stitch in pirate HAHA

far left is an old oc some ppl may recognize, her name is hope loomis! Shes a (lvl 70) witchdoctor, blind, and captain of a pirate crew. shes no longer my main oc but i still love her and her crew :P

Since hes relevant to her ill go out of order and say him now: the one in the middle is lawrence nightingale, part of hope's crew, her best friend, a musketeer. (Hes my main pirate for playing, hes lvl 70) He has a bit of a sour disposition and he and hope argue a lot but they care for each other a lot. I also ship him with kane hehehe

Ok middle left is catalina, like i mentioned earlier. Actually ive posted him before, hes a catalan shapeshifter who likes to pretend to be a human amongst people to troll them mostly teehee :P hes a (lvl 46) witchdoctor in game but in his lore he just knows some magic.

Next to catalina is the aforementioned Mina mitchell, shes a (lvl 65) swashbuckler and an emo girl. I dont have much lore for her to be honest but shes just so cute and awesome. She has spiky short twin pigtails. I think ive posted a drawing of her on this blog before under her tag mina

Middle right (orange) is Maeve, shes part of my new main crew! (The other 2 arent in game) shes a (lvl 7, bc i KEEP REMAKING MY BUCKS) buccaneer. Shes also part fox and from marleybone! shes really cool and awesome and sweet and shes best friends with shannon (leader of her crew).

Right is Stormy Edwards, hes kinda new and also his character looks nothing like his actual design lol other than that hes green. Hes a privateer (lvl 7, again i keep remaking themmmm) and hes EVIL!<3 he also has a toxic gay thing going on with vito (witchdoctor with maeve and shannon) and hes just kinda fucked up :P

34: what are the hardest and easiest parts of the game for you?

OK SOOOOO I love the strategy of it all TBH. It was really hard at first but ive picked it up pretty well i think. The hardest part was figuring out how to do gear correctly and what stats to prioritize, which im probably still not perfect at but i think ive gotten it down now. I also hate ship fighting 😭 But yeah easiest is probably just combat i love it i love the battle system. And to be MORE specific ranged combat is easiest for me.

SORRY THIS ONE GOT SO LONG HAHAH BUT TYYY<3

rottmnt for the ask meme?

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Leo and Donnie

Least Favorite character: hmm don't really have any?

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): oh gosh yeah theres really none buuut I do like Tomiko x Leo by @mishacakes that oc ship has stolen my heart. oh and ig more of a divorced thing but splinter x draxum but like in a redd and tom nook way sorta. OH WAIT gonna say capril or w/e the name is for casey x april. wish we had more time for that...

Character I find most attractive: gonna change this to fav design bc there are almost no adults in the show sdfgfdsdf but i ADORE april's design its so fun and just screams her ya know?

Character I would marry: n/a asdgf

Character I would be best friends with: oh god leo or donnie or april

a random thought: learning to draw the turtles helped me w anatomy soo much more than any tutorial ever did idk why

An unpopular opinion: dunno how "unpopular" this is but if by some miracle we got the season we were supposed to i would want it to just pick up from where the final ep left off and not go back and retell the final ep like it was meant to from the get go. like ofc i want more karai and all but like maybe they could just make those eps and just release them bc nicks dumb enough to put em outta order anyways right so

My Canon OTP: can i just assume capril was gonna be canon bc basically all aprils get with all caseys so like wlw win idc

My Non-canon OTP: Again not many ships so ig ill just say Tomiko and Leo again ASDFSASD

Most Badass Character: omfg all the turts can be total badasses when they want AND APRIL OMGGG

Most Epic Villain: SHREDDER I MEAN HOLY SHIT HAVE YOU SEEN HIM

Pairing I am not a fan of: any april x turtle ship (at least in this incarnation) bc to me theyre all siblings...tho no hate to those who dont see em as siblings and ship em its just not my cup of tea.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): absolutely none i trust the writers w my life and know we wouldve gotten more if THE BITCH-ASS MOTHERFUCKERS AT NICK WERENT SUCH COWARDS

Favorite Friendship: love aprils relationship w the turts and splinter.

Character I most identify with: leo but also only a certain leo sorry dont look at me,,,,,,

Character I wish I could be: cant really think of any asfghhgfds

Thanks for the ask!!

Hi! I wanted to say that I LOVE your art style - it’s so cute!! I love how you draw the varying pony races so differently, I was wondering if there was any particular thought process that went into designing them? Or was it just something that sort of happened naturally over time? Either way would you be willing to share? I love seeing artists design processes! If not, ten that’s totally fine - I hope you have a wonderful day <333!

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE KIND OF ASK TO GET CLAPS MY LITTLE HANDS TOGETHER RAPIDLY

i Have made a similar post to this in the past but uhuhhuh i want to do it AGAIN >:] some things im gonna say are headcanons or just my general interpretations for the pony types, i dont think any of em are like. controversial at all but i just thought id clarify jic anyones like "no theyre not!!11!!1" lol

first of all THANK YOU that means sm<33

now into my convoluted horse thoughts HJGFHG i went a lot more in depth than my last one i think lmaooo

ill start w earth ponies bc they are the blueprint<3 and also my favs lol. earth ponies are naturally the strongest breed of pony, so my designs for them are more Built and stocky than the others, im not sure why i decided their heads should be taller, so both eyes are usually visible, i guess it makes them look a bit more Structured if you get what i mean? their hooves are the most exposed of the three because they use them for pretty much everything, (w some exceptions that they use their mouths for lol) for all the manual labour and stuff they need to do and just like. walking around sm uknow lol. the fur around their hooves can vary just based on how I personally think theyd style it, so for instance take applejack, i dont really think shed Do much with hers other than trim it and move on since shes very much function over form, but with pinkie pie, her fur is styled in a rounder way, honestly mostly on my part because it goes with the rest of her generally round design :P but i imagine that as a filly hers was trimmed flat since her parents seem very prim and working on a rock farm having hair in the way of your hooves which youre using to sort through probably sometimes very fine rubble doesnt make sense. and the Fun part: their general shapes, i love using the shapes in a character to signify personality and whatnot, so AJ is a sturdy workhorse whos been on a farm her whole life, shes also what i feel is a very reliable and stable presence in her friends lives so i make her Huge and rectangluar to signify those kinds of things? pinkie on the other hand is a fun loving party planner who lives in the town bakery! she also spent a significant portion of her life on a rock farm so, she's also very sturdy in typical earth pony fashion but she's also on the shorter end of my mane 6 lineup, this is bc i feel that all the pies are p short bc if theyve mined for a living (seemingly for generations) itd make more sense for them to be little to fit better into underground structures and whatnot, but pinkie herself is round and bouncy to fit her fun-loving bubbly personality! and ofc bc she LOVES all of the cakes at sugarcube corner :P

pegasi are generally the most lithe and athletic of the breeds, due to their near constant usage of their wings in everyday life. all my pegasi looka like fuckin sock puppets(affectionate) fkjdgfd uhh because it makes them feel way more aerodynamic to me, like if youre gonna be going at any kind of Speed up there youre gonna need the least amount of wind resistance possible, this is also why theyre generally the shortest type of pony, less animal for those little wings to heave around lmao. their hooves are completely covered in fur because i wanted to make them look soft, as if they actually could stand on clouds, their hooves are the most delicate of the breeds as theyre not Really designed to be on the ground at all, but they can build up a tolerance over time! ive sort of been playing with the idea that fluttershy's hooves are very slightly visible bc of her line of work? idk tho lol. pegasi ears are the shortest of all the breeds for aerodynamic purposes and theyre very fluffy on the insides to prevent unwanted stuff getting in while theyre in the air :] the fluffy feathers can also appear around the sides of the pegasi's heads n the amount can vary SHAPES!! rainbow dash is pretty obvious, shes small lithe and her head is flat as a pancake, snout All Forward, no extra feathers her wings are longer, more pointed i guess, shes a speedster!! she needs to be Smooth and little to be as fast as she can be >:P and for fluttershy, shes shy and more into herself, she can be quite awkward so to show this her snout is turned down and more curved, shes also fairly tall and gangly for a pegasus, she has fluffy feathers around her head and her wings are more round and fluffy, theyre shorter than RD's but theyre wider, better built for gliding than speed i guess

unicorns are honestly Fully like. ornamental physically. theyre pretty shitty at most physical activities but thats because they become reliant on their magic for most everyday things, they all have a pointed snout to exhibit that fact too lol some are curved some are just straight up triangles just based on what i think their vibes are lmao. their hooves are mostly covered in fur with the exception of the fronts which shows off the fact that theyre cloven, its sort of a half and half kind of situation with it half being because i wanted to it to look kinda decorative but also it could be because that, They Are on the ground at all times like earth ponies, Unlike earth ponies however, they arent built in a way that favours the sorts of manual labour that EP's would be used to, again, theyd use their magic for anything like that. their horns vary slightly in size and shapes, my thoughts behind this dont make a lot of sense but in my canon, the better a unicorn is at magic, like the more powerful, the longer and thinner the horn, so unicorns like rarity who only use their horns for stuff like levitation or like sunburst just arent That gifted in the magic department their horns are thicker than those who can do more advanced magic or just have stronger magic innately ilke starlight have thinner and longer horns, whether a unicorns horn is curved or not has no bearing on their like. magical ability its just a stylistic thing on my part so no trixie isnt shit a magic bc her horns bent LMAO. also their tails are. theres a word for it hold on. is it prehensile?? icr but its the shit where its like a cats tail but w mane-like fur on the end, these also vary in length and thickness those are also vibe based lmao. their ears are the longest of the breeds and they have curled fur on the insides of em, they can be rounded or pointed on the top. i dont rlly feel like i need to explain rarity shes pointed and neat all over like youd expect a prissy, wanting to seem upper class unicorn would be, i made her on the fatter side because i feel like its fitting, and also both of her parents were that way too, i feel like it could be genetic too

alicorns were kind of difficult to like. 'deal with' ?? i guess because having to combine all three of these things i had set rules out for was kinda difficult but, i just kinda wing it lmao. so with celestia and luna (while im still working on their designs) we dont really know how they originated but i sorta landed a sort of a stereotypical alien-like design for them? ig its bc theyre like. sort of foreign and different to their subjects?? whereas with twilight shes just a very recent alicorn and so her body is still adjusting to the features she gained by aquiring earth pony and pegasus magic so the differences are more.. obvious i guess?? but with her Base being unicorn those traits are the strongest in her design, and i havent drawn cadence yet but hers will be in a similar way but since she was a pegasus first her pegasus traits will be more apparent, but as shes grown more than twilight she'll be in sort of a transitional look? thats closer to celestia and luna's alicorn specific design i guess? flurryheart's design, i was kind of just thinking she was entirely just a fluffy alagamation of all three breeds rather than just immediate alicorn, i guess because since she was born an alicorn, her genes weren't entirely sure of what to do since she's the first natural born alicorn but as she grows she'll take on the alicorn shape? or not idk lol. alicorns in general uhh their ears are REALLY big versions of their base forms' with traits from the other two breeds obv, and their their horns are Long since alicorn magic is more potent and therefore just naturally more powerful so. long horn. their hooves are what their base breed's looked like but, again, with the others features their tails are prehensile(?) like unicorns but the mane like hair that comes off of it not only comes off the end but extends the full way up the bottom of the tail uhh idk if i missed anything but thats. p much it i guess!!

with combo babies like the cake twins, i just kind of mash the two species together in a way i think looks best lol like they both have the structured earth pony heads but pound has the long pegasus snout and pumpkin has an upward turned pointed unicorn snout and their hooves are more exposed like an earth ponies :P

ANYWAY. SORRY LONG POST LOL

Well, here it is - a lengthy explanation of each card in my mdzs major arcana deck and what I meant to convey/what i would have changed in retrospect/what alternatives i considered! It’s a bit messy and my typing style is lazy but hopefully it will be an interesting read to some of you :)

And so you don’t say I didn’t warn you - jiang cheng’s section (11 justice) is absurdly long lmao

0 the fool  I elaborated on this in the post itself but yeah basically jin ling is kind of representative of all the damage and trauma caused by the past, and there’s a kind of danger there of him falling victim to the same vices as the older characters and repeating the same mistakes and perpetuating the cycle of war and misery (the cycle that we already see with how the jin sect became the new wen sect, and later with how jgy became the new wwx) and he has a lot of room to grow! He grows so much over the course of the novel, comes to realise the complexities of the past and gets a harsh life lesson in how nothing is as black and white as it seems. But ill save talking about his progress for the end, for now whats important is that he has room to grow and also a dog. I don’t really have a justification for the sun, i mostly just thought it looked sick? It made its way to the next card as well, where it makes a bit more sense, but then i realised it was a dumb motif to include 1 the magician I still very much like wwx for the role, and that illustration would have probably had him raising a corpse on his left and pointing threateningly to the sun on his right. I considered including the table as well, with some mdzs relevant items replacing the card suits. Anyway, like i said wwx got a few cards to himself already so i went with the alternative wq design, since i think she fits the card as well. Both she and wwx are highly skilled people, extremely driven once they set their mind to something. The card to me symbolises the creative mind as well as a general drive for action, which fits them both - wwx was famously a prolific inventor, and wq came up with a previously unheard of surgery, after all. This card strays pretty far from the rider-waite deck design, largely because i was still figuring out how i wanted to approach this series, but you can still see the influence. 2 the high priestess I was actually going to skip this card at first because I couldn’t think of a fitting character, but once i considered a qings character post death, it all fit pretty well. She was already a highly intuitive person in life, and in sharing her memories with wwx she is, in a way, relaying a kind of secret knowledge. Anyway she’s one of my fav characters so im glad i got a chance to include her. The coffins could be interpreted to be xxc and sl or xxc and xy 3 the empress Theres other mother figures in mdzs who got to be mothers for a longer time, but jyl definitely embodies the positive aspects of this card the best. She’s nurturing, kind, emotionally supportive, she already mothered wwx and jc quite a bit when she was young. Plus i liked that the rw card had both water and flowers, making an easy lotus connection. In retrospect the stars look kind of out of place and i should have replaced them with something more relevant... Also, i should have had her hold a lotus seed pod instead of a flower, haha 4 the emperor Like i said I considered jc for the role but hoching bullied me into admitting that nmj was better… they’re both more of an inverted emperor than an upright one but then again theres hardly any character in mdzs who would fit upright emperor so. Jgs was also considered but he’s even uglier than nmj so i couldn’t bear to draw him 5 the hierophant It was pointed out to me that lqr would have fit this card better and the truth if that statement haunts me to this day. Unfortunately I have no space in my brain for lqr so lxc got the role instead. My main reason was his role during the wen destruction of gusu lan, when he ran away with the contents of the library - this is why there’s bookshelves behind him. The keys, take, from the rider-waite deck, are meant to represent the gusu pendants that allow you to enter 6 the lovers Im sure many people would have chosen wangxian here but I uhh don’t really care abt wangxian personally? And also their love story is so convoluted that jyl and jzx seem idyllic by comparison lol. Also i didnt really have an idea for who to put in the angel’s place for wangxian… mme jin certainly did not get these two together in the end but undeniably she and mme yu did initially give them a chance to fall for each other so. Thats something i guess. Anyway the trees became their sects’ flowers and the mountain became the burial grounds - an omen of their tragic fate, basically 7 the chariot There might have been other characters who fit this card better but i couldn’t really think of another card for lwj and i thought it would be weird to not include him… anyway i don’t really care for current timeline lwj BUT i do like that he was clearly influenced by wwx to walk his own path in life based on his moral convictions rather than follow his sect’s rules blindly. The chariot is to me a card of self control, self determination and focused action, so it seemed fitting. The composition felt kind of empty without the actual chariot so i padded it out with the guqin, the cloud recess in the bg (it doesn’t look great but i tried to replicate the drama design….) and the bunnies which conveniently fit the colour scheme of the sphinxes in the rider-waite design 8 strength Like i said before, my interpretation of this card is more… morally ambiguous than the quote unquote official meaning, so i thought about manipulative or duplicitous characters more than kind characters whose strength is expressed through gentleness (though i did consider jyl briefly for the latter interpretation). As such, i considered both jgy and nhs, but ended up going with jgy largely because i couldn’t pass up the opportunity to put the nie sect’s beast as the lion. 9 the hermit My thoughts immediately went to bssr lol. It may be an overly literal interpretation but whatever, i like it just fine. And i like that i managed to echo the rider-waite silhouette in the mountain and the tree (and even in bssr herself) 10 wheel of fortune God i love the parallels between these 2… this card to me is about how you cant trust your current situation, good or bad, to last forever, and these 2 embody that perfectly imo. Wwx went from son of a well off servant and a powerful cultivator, to street rat orphan, to adopted son of sect leader jiang, to double orphan, to MIA, to terrifying but admired warrior, to terrifying and despised traitor, to dead, to, at the very end, suddenly respected and trusted again. The dishonesty and cheapness of whatever the public’s current opinion of him is is portrayed beautifully as far as im concerned. And jgy of course claws his way up to power only to instantaneously become public enemy number one, to the point that he’s probably blamed for stuff there’s no reason to believe he had a hand in. Wei wuxian’s silent astonishment at how quickly the cultivation world turns against jgy and towards him again is a delicious moment of thematic resonance.  11 justice I settled on this card for jc after he got booted from the emperor seat but i do think it fits, in a somewhat convoluted way. I turned both the sword and the scales into visual representations of the golden core transfer (can you tell im obsessed with it). According to biddy tarot, the justice card is partly about searching for the truth, and the scene where jc finds out about the transfer is of course a big deal. I was also very influenced by the reversed meaning again - which is about being reluctant or unwilling to face or accept the consequences of your actions. I feel on an intuitive level that this fits jc but I’m not sure how well i can explain it - it’s something about how he’s a little too comfortable scapegoating wwx for things that were also, if much less so, influenced by his actions, and also something about the way he keeps wwx at an arm’s length emotionally but still leans on him and accepts his support when he really needs it, and somewhat hypocritically expects wwx to put the needs of him and the jiang sect before the needs of others. And also something about the core exchange is the consequence and proof of wwx’s deep - terrifyingly deep, even - love and care for him, which is something jc doesn’t seem to let himself acknowledge. Maybe even something about how you could argue that the way all of the jiangs acted around wwx - jfm’s favouritism that left him with the feeling of a debt he needs to repay, mme yus insistence that he be a servant more than a brother to jc, prepared to give his life for jc, and jc’s own unwillingness - or inability, he was a child after all - to clearly acknowledge wwx as an equal to himself, enabling wwx’s self sacrificial and protective tendencies - that all of this was what caused wwx’s complete and unquestioning willingness to do whatever it took to protect jc, and therefore paved the way to the golden core transfer. And i don’t mean this to be scapegoating jc - especially considering how young he was when this all went down, it wouldn’t be fair to expect this level of emotional perceptiveness, awareness and maturity of him - but i think adult jc has to grapple with the fact that the chain of cause and effect was not as simple as wwx fucking everyone’s lives up to be a martyr, and that both jc and his parents had a role in that story as well. I don’t even necessarily think this is something that jc only realised in the current timeline - i think it’s something he felt on some level this whole time, and it probably led to a lot of feelings of guilt - but the suibian reveal definitely puts it in sharp focus, and i think he’s now better equipped to handle this introspection than he was as a recently orphaned, traumatised teenager, lol. ANYWAY the window with the fabric is both a nod to the rider-waite design and a reference to the destruction of lanling - i actually did some basic ass research for this, and it seems that in ancient china fabric would indeed be hanged in a window if the normally used paper was damaged. The design of the window, as well as the very idea to use it to imply the reconstruction of lanling, was taken from this great piece of jc angst by my pal moroll1! Oh yeah also the covered window kind of works as a denial of forgiveness for jc because it’s like a halo but covered up... Also I completely forgot to put a blindfold over his eyes which would be perfectttt because blind justice and the core exchange......... ok moving on 12 the hanged man I always have issues with this card because i cant find a satisfactory summary of what it’s really about. Best i can tell it symbolises a need to hit pause, surrender or let go of something… ive also seen it tied to sacrifice? So mo xuanyu doesn’t fit perfectly, but sacrifice is definitely there in a surface level reading kind of way, and the idea that you have to surrender or let go in order to achieve your goal does fit the whole deal of getting revenge but giving up your life in exchange and not being there to see it 13 death This is probably one of my favourite cards, definitely not because I have huge issues with change or anything…. I see this card as signalling the necessity of change or putting an end to something / leaving something in the past in order to start anew? At first i considered putting past wwx, mxy and current wwx here as a kind of transformation and one cycle flowing into the next... But firstly, I’d already used mxy in the very previous card, so putting him in again would feel like overkill, and secondly, the longer I thought about it the less convinced I was that this would even fit with the card’s meaning? Because coming back from the dead doesn’t like... trigger an internal transformation within wwx or anything? Anyway, fun fact: the design I ended up going with was actually originally intended for judgement! I thought I was being very clever with the whole “figure plays an instrument and the dead rise” parallel, but apparently I’d just completely forgotten that the judgement card had a completely different composition... Truly I was boo boo the fool... But yeah anyway at the end of the day I figured the design would kind of work for death as well, with Wen Ning and the theme of transformation, (since in his case coming back as a fierce corpse does actually mark a certain transformation in behaviour) and Wei Wuxian’s protection of the Wen people essentially signifying an attempt to break the cycle of oppression if that makes any sense? Like, wwx is trying to revolutionise the way the world works a bit, if you catch my drift 14 temperance  The centrist card! Again this is probably going off track from the “official” interpretation, but to me this card has a certain “don’t commit fully; do everything in moderation; don’t take either side” flavour to it that i personally find infuriating irl and that i very much assign to lxc. It’s entirely possible that I’m misinterpreting his character because i didn’t really pay him (and the 3zun in general) much mind while reading, but hell, I’m allowed to pick favourites and choose who i want to interpret deeply vs shallowly. Again, i wish id chosen lqr for hierophant because its so annoying for a character i don’t care about to get two cards…. But oh well 15 the devil My alternative idea for this was jgy as the devil and lxc plus nmj as the figures, but since all three had been featured already (multiple times, even!) i figured I’d go with xy instead, especially since he’s among my faves lol. I think the devil signifies something along the lines of unhealthy attachment, obsession or addiction, which isn’t 100% accurate in the case of xxc and a-qing, but if i stretch it a bit to cover toxic relationships in general, and especially manipulation or negative influence, i don’t think it’s half bad. My main struggle here was to choose who amongst the xxc/sl/aq trio to choose for the human figures. 16 the tower Arguably jin zixuans death and the following massacre of nightless city were the final and most direct reason for the siege of burial mounds, and the tiger seal is good shorthand for wwx’s loss of control over his powers, which led to the deaths of jzx and jyl. When reimagining major arcana i like to feature some kind of building in this card (spoilers for a possible future project but in my rose of versailles major arcana set the tower is bastille) and even if it’s not a tower, the image of wwx looming over the gathered crowd from atop a rooftop is so good i couldn’t resist 17 the star Struggled with this one - considered both jin ling and lsz for it, as symbolising a hope for the future, but that was kind of covered by the world so it wouldn’t make sense to include here as well... As usual when I struggle with interpreting a card (as opposed to understanding it but struggling with matching a character to it, like with death or moon) I went to biddy tarot and read all the details about its meaning. What i got was that this card signifies an incoming period of introspection and inner peace following a time of turmoil, as well as a general moving on into a new, better phase of one’s life or finding new meaning and purpose. The figure also suggests someone vulnerable, but possessing a keen sense of intuition as well as a good degree of practicality and common sense. Given all those, I settled for mianmian because IM LOVE HER..... I also kind of see her as a prelude to the “just one person is enough” theme present in tgcf!! And i think her decision to abandon her sect because she saw the toxicity and corruption in it is a very inspiring action - even if it didn’t make a large visible impact, i think the appearance of her and her idyllic family at the very end of the novel - paralleling and mirroring wangxian - implies that at the end of the day, it was a meaningful one 18 the moon Another card i ALWAYS fuxking struggle with - this time less because i can’t grasp its meaning and more because I can never find a character that fits it well. I usually get fixated on the “dreams and subconscious” part, but if i lean more on the “disguise, deceit, anxiety and fear” part, i eventually figured the whole yi city arc wouldn’t be a bad fit. I say the entire arc because it really does encompass all those themes if you include both the past and the present - xue yang’s disguise, his tricks with the villagers, a-qing’s lies and even xxc’s reluctance to talk about his past as well as xue yang pretending to be xxc all fit the disguise and deceit angle, and the general mystery and creepiness of the current timeline yi city work well with the anxiety and fear - the mist, the slow uncovering of the past, even a-qing being revealed to be an ally after scaring the shit out of the protags. I definitely struggled with including all the elements and characters, and even moreso with making them vaguely fit the rider-waite composition, but i think it ended up okay ish. OH and i completely forgot to draw mist swirling around them :( 19 the sun I was considering mianmian’s family for this one, but since I used her for star, I ended up with wwx and his parents instead. Once again I’m reinterpreting the card a bit - normally I think it symbolises incoming times of pure happiness and abundance, as well as a connection with the inner child, but I gave it more of a nostalgic or sentimental twist - wwx looking back at the brief glimpse of his happy childhood. 20 judgement another card that i struggle to interpret a bit... Here i actually used the tgcf tarot zine as a reference! In it judgement is summarised as “rebirth, following duty, absolution” SO i figured that nhs, mxy and wwx all together would fit pretty neatly... wwx achieving (public) absolution through clearing his own name after being reborn, and nhs sort of calling on wwx to expose jgy’s crimes... It’s a bit messy but not bad I think! 21 the world This ties very closely to my read on mdzs as a story - which is that it’s, at the end of the day, largely about cycles, and about how hard it is to break them, but how we gotta keep trying and have hope anyway. Or maybe more precisely, that the people directly involved with and influenced by the trauma of the past might not be able to get over said trauma and that the hope for healing from it will be shouldered by the new generation. Or something like that… Basically what i mean is that jc and wwx and lwj and lxc and nhs and jgy and all these people who were in the thick of the sunshot campaign and the siege are so profoundly affected by it that it genuinely feels by the end of the story like there is little hope for them to ever truly overcome that trauma and build a better future without repeating the same old mistakes - but there is a glimmer of hope in the new generation, specifically in jl and lsz. And it’s a bit paradoxical, because they have also been directly impacted by the past tragedies - lsz having his entire clan wiped out after wwx failed to protect them, jl losing both his parents to wwx’s mistakes - but despite that loss, and despite coming from arguably the two opposing sides of the past conflicts, they are both, in the end, capable of moving past that tragedy, of recognising the complicated nature of those conflicts (jl’s moment of clarity at the end is both heartbreaking and hopeful) and forging friendships between clans in the process. I honestly think that the extra where jl is struggling to assert his authority as sect leader, to treat his subjects well and to cooperate with other sects in a truly amicable way is the single hopeful ending note for the larger themes of the novel - it allows us to imagine that maybe these kids can learn from the mistakes of their elders rather than getting sucked in by resentment at those mistakes, and actually build a brighter future for the cultivation world. And sidenote, this is also why i have a soft spot for jin ling and lan sizhui as a ship... speaking of which their poses were directly referenced from the lovers card ehehe

Looking back, I’d like to add some symbol of jin ling’s trauma so that it mirrors baby wen yuan in the tree stump... maybe his father’s sword? 

Hello friends and welcome to ☆Hateful Nostalgia☆. I was exposed to the mob talker mod WAY too young bc I was an unsupervised child on the internet watching mod showcases and SkyDoesMinecraft. Looking back these sucked, the stories were often bland and the designs were milk toast at best and tits out at worst. So for the sake of procrastinating on working on anything substantial I grabbed the main 6 I remembered and gussied em up. Redesigns, rewrites, better names, all that bullshit. If your interested in better photos, design notes, story details and rambling hit the basement, otherwise here's a line up you should click for better quality.

Also I wrote all this once before already but I deleted it like a dumb bitch. On the night Unus Annus was murdered in front of my eyes no less. Was a rough fuckin night.

The Creeper- Kupa. An explosive pyromaniac with a habit of making empty threats and yelling. She protects what she believes to be her territory with a suicidal passion, but if you manage to get her to cool down and soften up she's pretty sick to hand out with. Hard of hearing, has at least one bout of head trauma at all times, and deathly allergic to cats.

Because the creeper is kinda the og I wanted to reference AT2's design more than the others, but I'm p sure the only thing I actually kept was the red hair and brown gloves. Otherwise I was doing whatever. I really wanted to lean into the explody bit of creepers, so I gave her some bite and dressed her in clothes referenced from Irish railroad workers. This may also be why I keep imaging her with a very heavy Irish or Scottish accent, whichever would be most incomprehensible when angry. Every color but her skin was color picked from one of the references, with some minor alterations for makes my eyes happy reasons.

With Kupa I imagine a story line with her would largely be about her as a character and her development than like an actual adventure narrative like everyone else. She starts off ready to blow up both you and herself in a misguided attempt to defend what she sees as her's and opens up and learns not everyone is out to get her. Lots of time taken to understand her childhood and how she ended up how she is. Very simple, probably the default or tutorial run people would go through.

The Zombie- Bee. The ill husk of a missing explorer suffering from a less than conventional appetite. She wallows in her self imposed loneliness, believing herself to be an irredeemable monster doomed to hurt those around her. What she really needs is a buddy and some clue to who she used to be. Rough voiced, chronically fatigued, and prone to spontaneous combustion in sunlight.

 I definitely consider this one the weakest for design sadly. I imagined Zombies as humans who went into strange caves and caverns and didn't come out for years, only to pop up as completely different people. I just tossed AT2's design. The first thing I did was make her a bit of a genderbent Steve and tinted her green bc Zombies in game are just Steve but green. Tore up her clothes, colored picked the darkest colors I could from the clothes on the in game and boom, Bee. I do vaguely regret not making her eyes pure black but I also still wanted her to be human enough to fit with the other overworld mods.

 Ok so Bee actually has a basic story. When you meet her she's aggressive, but as a warning. She fears the possibility she may hurt somebody so heads for threats immediately. Going back and forth between her cave and village for a while you learn more about the situation with the missing folks who come back and Bee as a person. After a bit you pick her up off her depressed ass and start a nocturnal adventure of refinding your past, adapting to who your becoming, overcoming self destuction, and slow burn babey!!! 

The Skeleton- Ulna. One of the few surviving warriors of a now destroyed kingdom and dead culture. She spends most of her time now traveling alone, hiding in trees and shooting anything see sees as a threat- which is everything- in the face with homemade arrows. Very much suffering from loss of her home and a bad case of lost purpose. A woman of few words, very antisocial, and naturally nocturnal.

 I came in with the Skeleton wanting to make her seem mysterious, so my first thought was immediately a cloak and a mask, but I wanted her face to like be visible so I went with the face paint. I didn't actually know that I wanted to do under there so I went with wraps that are reminiscent of the original outfit but still not tits out bc it's so fucking easy! Gave her a quiver, color picked the cloak and face paint from the in game model and the wraps from AT2'S art. I did like. Subconsciously draw her eyes the way I do Asian characters but I didn't have anything specific in mind so like go nuts with what you think she is.

 Ulna's deal is very much her lack of purpose or home and the entire thing is about finding that again. She's found sitting up in a tree during a storm pointing a bow and arrow into your face. She eventually let's you stick around until the storm is over and theres some bonding into deep night until the rain stops. You ask if she wants to come with on your little travelling sword for hire business, she says sure, sleep schedule shenanigans, backstory angst, and road trip bonding happens and she eventually decides that helping people is her new purpose and you're her new home

The Spider- Park. A young adult experiencing the world for the first time through her tribe's rite of passage. She's really just trying to figure out how to live life outside of the cave she's been stuck in her entire life and aggressively trying to be an independent adult despite not knowing anything about being an independent adult. Its projection. Blind in the daylight, naive and excitable, and taken to refusing help at her own risk.

 Ok so. I don't know who looked at the spider and said "purple haired loli with puffy pants" so I once again yeeted the whole thing, only really keeping the kinda cutesy and childish bits. Spiders are a tribe of humans what live in caves unless they've broken off to live on the surface. Kids are kept inside until they hit a certain milestone, where they come up to explore at night. They're usually small and pale, but are pretty kickass when necessary. Again picked the colors off the in game model, played with the lightest gray for the skin, and bc I couldn't figure out anyway to use the stripes so they're on the patches lol.

 Park's meeting is probably the funniest and most meet cute one here, in that she accidentally drops on top of you from a little cliff drop off. Cue loads of apologies and an explanation about the spider deal and being blind in light. She asks for some help getting around and bam babey friendship and emotional attachment! What follows is kinda a buddy of coming of age story with the obligatory goes home and is miserable scene. Generally it's just about being a scared young adult and having someone to fall back on and why that's important. Also crushes and young people being bad at that.

 The Blaze- Amber. A demonic entity who would let the world burn and the sun die if it meant she'd get her soul back. She's known for being ruthless, taking souls through force instead of making deals like other Blazes. Keeps this forceful nature even once she's become friendly, makes you do dump shit. Territorial, eyes glow and dim with her life, and runs remarkably warm.

 Amber here is the first one I actually did! I was just. Really tired that she was in a bikini. I decided early on I wanted overworld mobs to be human and everyone else was decidedly not, so Blazes are demons who gave up their souls under false pretenses to other Blazes. Because of how little clothes AT2's design wore I had essentially free reign and my thought was immediately to lean on golden knight bc of how Blazes are found protecting fortresses. The gold isn't picked from anything bc I was looser with the colors, but everything else is, and the hair is supposed to represent the smoke. Also the sticks in her hair are blaze rods bc I don't like them just floating around her.

Amber is found in the Nether obviously, protecting a fortress and immediately trying beat your ass and either incinerate you or make you give up your soul. During you prove yourself a p damn good fighter and she makes a deal to show you how Blazes exist and pursade you to give your soul up willingly. Bonding happens and she explains where the souls go and what happened to her. Insert line about how she dug in the sand for her soul until her fingers bleed bc I'm an Arcana freak lol. In general I'd just like her to learn to adapt to who she is now and learning to live life well instead of letting her anger burn her up from the inside out.

 The Enderman- Violet. A confused but sweet young bit of void created by and connected to the Ender Dragon. Her relationship with reality is tenuous at best and abusive at worst, making stable existence rather difficult. She doesn't know a name, age, gender, anything about herself aside from that she likes sweaters. Communicates primarily through psychic connections, docile and sweet, and melts like a witch in water.

 Violet was incredibly easy, so this may be way short. Endermen are decidedly human shaped void from the End with varying sentience. They're direct extensions of the Ender Dragon, and nobody knows how they're made or where they come from, not even they do. Adventurers who escaped The End say they seem scared of it though. Violet in particular is pretty damn new and extraordinary nonconforming, and I tried to show that with her sweater and ponytail. Once again, literally all colors picked. Definitely the simplest but one of my favs.

Violet is the sweetest meet up I think. As your traveling between villages you notice a strange enderman watching you and plant a little flower in front of her. She picks it and you hear a happy little trill come from you and a pretty voice say thank you in your head. Now you have a tall dark teleporting travel buddy! After a little bit of back and forth she tells you in some broken English that the Ender Dragon made her but she doesnt know how, and that it's bad and needs to be killed for the sake of Endermen and that's the new goal. Spoiler they're the corrupted souls of those that died fighting it, with it gone Endermen are free to exist as their own being and do whatever, hurray!

what do you think of the warriors of hope? i personally adore them. I thought you drew kotoko at one point, but that might have been a fever dream. I'd love to hear your thoughts on each of them individually, but if that's too much no worries at all lol

aaa i havent drawn her but i’d like to!! this is kinda embarrassing to admit but i never finished UDG,,, so i cant really give a good opinion on each of them individually right now ^^; i started the game like a couple years ago or smthing and then i dropped it like,,, halfway through bc of life or school or smthing, idr,,, i kept telling myself id pick it back up but im really really bad at starting games in general,, bc i know ill get sucked into them and neglect my other work and i also just have 2 be in a certain mood jfjkfs anw, what i can tell you is that NAGISA IS MY FAVVVVVORITE!!!!! Mariya Ise is like my favorite voice actress so when I heard her voicing him in the game I freaked out bc I didn’t know beforehand that she voiced him,,, he is so adorable and ive adopted him <33 i’d like to draw him and make merch of him sometime after i replay and actually finish lol,, kotoko is probably my second fav just bc i like her design and her personality is cute!! i think i like them all in general, i want 2 protect them from the bad writing too... idr all their backstories exactly but i do remember there was some messed up content (like w/ kotoko i think??) and i feel like it was... mostly there for shock purposes?? idk, i think there is a better way to write traumatized children w/o like... romanticizing (?) their trauma, but again i havent finished the game and my memory is kinda fuzzy,, i think they mightve made jokes out of kotoko’s trauma too and that was,,, yikes,,, but yeah, regardless i do really like them i think they all deserve happy futures, and monaca should b adopted by nagito <3 ill give a better ranking list and thoughts when ive actually finished the game skfskd

@trespassers-will​ ok here we go

i also watched the various videos hidden inside each photo and the videos that were posted today as well and took notes too hjfhk

1. hobi’s room

okay so i thought i would rank jin’s room first but then i saw hobi’s room and i saw that couch nd went OMG okay thats no.1!! i love this interior so so much, like i normally hate orange and blue as a combination but this seems almost more like red and blue and it really reminds me of hopeworld. there’s many pop art-like graphic design posters adorning the walls, showing lines like ‘hope‘, ‘sweet’ and ‘my way‘. the shoes on the closet(?) behind him were disaplayed bc those are the colours we wears the most in his fashion. and then there’s this iconic inflatable clear pink couch and him wearing a pink robe and just GOD what a mood, i want a room like this!! the chair reminds me a lot of the type of fun quirky furniture i fantasized about and incorporated into my drawings as a kid when i was around 8-11, probably because i got inspired by stuff like totally spies and polly pocket, which had all these designs clearly inspired by 60s and 70s space age design but more in pink and purple i guess.

also i hate the search for such stills bc even w safe search on, you still have godawful f3tish drawings depicting those kids from totally spies ending up in search results and it’s disgusting. but yeah it reminded me of that

when i say polly pocket, i particularly mean this quik-clik (magnetic clothes and hair) era in 2005 which was what i had some stuff from. i had that couch / movie night! set and the pool and that

also i just really like hobi’s room because with all the posters and cabinets and clothing items laid out and a carpet and fun colours and whatnot, it really feels like an actual room you could live in, unlike any of the other rooms which feel very empty or too minimalist to me. but YEAH hobi’s room is my fav, i love the way a fuller room feels more cozy and habitable and floaties and inflatable floaties are AMAZING

2. jin’s room

jin’s room is so prettyyyy!! jins explanation of the room was very uhm confident and funny but i love that. the couch looks like a lilac shell, which makes sense as everything else looks very pearlescent. i really love cool-toned pastels like lilac, powder / baby blue, periwinkle and everything just looks like it’s part of a waiting hall for mermaids or something. there’s also gems in it which took me a while to realize bc i only noticed the glass chandelier and lamp but then i saw them in his hand nd on the table. i dont rly care abt gems / jewels but overall i just love how this whole room speaks ‘pretty‘ to me. robes are always a plus. as i was writing this, i was also reminded of hair extension mullet jin with iridescent clothing and all and that is actually my all time fav photoshoot / look of him. him saying he’s the gem of the room makes sense too as he’s sitting in the shell like a pearl. jin pretty pretty mermaid

ok from here on its getting harder bc place 3-8 is not so much abt which is nicer but which one actually makes me feel any emotion bc i just feel too exhausted for excitement over comebacks or anything really. also minimalism doesnt make me feel anything either. but ill try

3. jungkook’s room

ok ive been staring at a screen w few sleep for too long so ill try to go through my ranking faster bc ive been working on this post for too long, also partially bc i cant focus nd partially bc theres some i just rly dont feel much for but i feel bad for ranking one lower than the other or ranking smth higher when ive talked to someone who dislikes a room i like dghkfdf

but yeah i like jungkooks room! its a very intense blue tht might make you depressed if youre in it too long but again i love how theres multiple items stacked in the bg and intense blue lights, and the ceiling looks like it has soundproof padding. its like youre in a recording studio or at some vaguely nostalgic party of a friend of my mom, who had plants in her home nd rock music nd the tv on and was smoking nd it was a bit dark and mysterious. i like it, it intrigues me a bit nd makes me miss going to concerts. also this pic rly just reminds me of 2008-2010 pop music videos where theres always a party and dj and people are wearing sunglasses or something and theres a dance break at the end

4. yoongi’s room

also blue!! the first time i saw this pic it was bc someone sent it to me to say how ugly they thought the decoration / editing looked w the metallic dripping stuff from the couch and whatnot but i kinda like it :( i like his velvety clothing and the light blue in the rest of the room is really pretty. i like mirror themes when done well nd i like how the reflectiveness shows also in the metallic dripping nd metallic spheres and the mirror hes standing on nd the way light reflects on his clothes and from the lamp. only the lamp feels a bit too much like a contemporary art installation for me nd his room already is a bit too empty for my liking nd i had the feeling when i watched the vid of him walking through the room that there was not much to interact w in the room like it was a bit dull. his voice in the explanation videos made it feel more like a place of peace / solitude rather than boredom or loneliness though.

5. namjoon’s room

ehh i think place 5, 6 and 7 are interchangable at this point. namjoon woulve ranked lowest but i listened to his explanation videos and saw him goof around in today’s video and appreciated it a bit more. the room still looks quite minimalist and not super comfortable, like youre not allowed to touch anything there (which is the same for jin i guess but i dont view that as smth meant to look like a living room). i do like how the wood theme is present throughout each wall nd in various items and w the windows nd use of space it feels a bit inspired by japanese interior design and that that is inspired by his bonsai tree nd love for woodwork, but im not sure. i was actually quite shocked some of his explanations were so short. so yeah i place this 5th bc i like how coherent the theme is but it doesnt feel cozy or inviting nd still very cold to me, maybe bc it looks too expensive or minimalistic in terms of colours.

6. jimin’s room

i like the flowers but also i dont like tiny flowers nd they tend to be the stinkier ones. i kind of like how jimins room feels the most like a grandma one w all the flowers nd offwhite and the lamp and beige i think? but the colours are so muted and if anything it feels like a place for a bridal photoshoot nd im just so bored. i love jimin nd feel bad for ranking a room he curated so low but it rly creates no serotonine in my brain, just melatonine bc im sleepy. i like how the room i obviously quite packed w stuff, but then the washed out colours make everything still look very bleak. hmm. i do like how the flowers reach outside the borders unlike w any of the others’ photos. im about to fall asleep so let me quickly finish this post

7. tae’s room

the picture in the middle behind him is interesting nd i dont know how he made that, nd i do like how he described his room as a place where there would always be enough food for visitors. i know it’s meant to communicate some highbrow, artsy vibe but w the weird editing and lightning nothing looks real in the room he’s in (including himself, like it doesnt even look like hes in the room) and it just looks kitschy instead of artsy. yeah i dont gravitate towards this one, it’s like deep-fried and desaturated at the same time nd i tend to avoid looking at it subconsciously

8. the first room photo

i first posted a long description here why but it disappeared but in short. this photo evokes no emotional response to me other than think of kind of crappy hotel rooms i was in w my parents while on vacation nd we slept in the same room or something nd the beds were awful nd made my moms chronic pain worse. the clothing is very boring and so r the colours of the room. i know bangtan curated stuff but its still the least interesting photo to me, maybe im too depressed to feel anything idk

im sorry this was prob very boring TT_TT i tried my best to make a ranking but i rly dont know nor care as much as i would want to

LISTEN

I HAVE VERY LOW IMPULSE CONTROL

In spite of the current community fire I give you this Rise of the Guardians AU

Character explanations/ mini story under the cut

So after watching Rise of the Guardians (one of my fav animated movies) I got the idea for an AU where the egos are like the Guardians of the JSE community.

Their designs are based off/ inspired by the characters in the movie but instead of just drawing the egos as those characters, I more so let them inspire re-creations of their outfits/ powers

Chase: Jack Frost- Guardian of Family

In the beginning he doesn’t see himself as a guardian. He’s a screw up, a washout. But even through his depression he tries to make others happy before himself. He does this by having fun and trying to get those in the community to join in with him! It’s later on that he realizes he has a part to play and that his is making sure everyone is still together as one big community. He’s here to remind us that in troubling times that we all have each other- that we’re all family.

JBM: Santa- Guardian of Hope

Being the super hero of the group, it’s JBM’s job to protect the innocent and give off the appearance of being something people can depend upon- someone who can protect everyone from danger. He helps the community become strong and makes them laugh along the way (even if he has to make a fool of himself to do it, he loves our smiles)- he gives them hope.

Marvin: Tooth Fairy- Guardian of Creativity (Sams: small Tooth Fairies)

Much like tooth fairy in the movie, it’s Marvin’s job to collect fanart/ fanworks and store them so when the community forgets all that they have built together, he shows them. Not only that, he inspires the content creators and represents their passion for their art. And it’s what he protects. (Along with the help of the little Sams who are the ones who actually collects and re-distributes it so everyone can see what they’ve made.)

Jameson: Sandman- Guardian of Positivity

Arguably one of the most important guardians of the community, JJ is there to remind people the importance of PMA. In his own quiet ways, he encourages the members to think on the bright side- or is just there to give hugs and be there for them. Whenever someone is in such a dark place, he uses his powers to show them that they still have so much potential and that they’re not alone. He give them a light in a dark place to hold onto. (Yes, he uses sign language AND the sand symbols for those who don’t understand sign)

Schneep: Bunny- Guardian of Health

Being the good doctor of the group, he’s there to remind the community to take care of themselves. Yes he may be a lil aggressive in the way he gives out advice, but for a lot of people they need their butts a little kicks to get them moving to help themselves. But not only physical health, he’s also willing to sit down and talk about mental health and analyze what the problem is/ works to help you understand how to improve yourself.

Anti: The Boogieman- “Guardian” of Fear and Chaos

And last but not least, our dear little firestarter. For so LONG he’s waited, waited to be in the spotlight. Before the other egos show up it was just him and it was delicious. He had so much power as he fed off of our fears, insecurities, and of course the headcanons and theories we made about him. But then Jack HAD to make more egos and fill the community with positivity and light. So he sunk back and waited for his opportunity- he waited for his powers to grow strong in the background. And with all of the hints being dropped and community fueling the fire in a continuous positive feedback loop, he gains more and more strength every day. He reminds the community not everything is peachy and rosy. That there are awful things in the world and how you’re just a tiny ripple in a storming ocean. Insignificant. He doesn’t want to stamp out the community- that would be counterproductive. No he just wants them to feel fear for the channel- that nothing is safe anymore- at any turn he could be there. And with that everything always comes back to him.

And sooner or later, the others will fade away...

Extra Headcanons/ Tidbits:

Before they were all guardians they were other people. (TW: death and suicide mentions) -Anti was a reckless criminal and one night his “friends” betrayed him, leaving him behind which wound up being the end of him. They were running from the police and were trying to jump a tall fence when his comrades left the struggling man behind to take the fall. He did in more ways than one. -JBM was just a regular dude, but he sacrificed himself to save a kid getting hit by a bus in the city. Even though he was about to die he kept asking if the kid was okay. The medics told him he saved them and that’s all he needed to hear. -Marvin was a street magician in his time. He did tricks to cheer up people sitting on the sidewalk/ sitting alone and talked to them about their passions. Later the same people would come back and tell him about the new job they got or the current project they were working on. He pulled a teen off the side of a bridge and a local cop mistook it for him attacking her and.. well.. things escalated quickly -Henrik was an upstanding surgeon. He saved lives every day in his career. Even though his wife and child left him, he worked every day to become a better doctor and continued to save people. And after the surgeries he would personally counsel the patients to make sure they were okay physically and mentally. But one day.. they didn’t have a matching organ for the patient on standby.. and he knew he matched the credentials. -Jameson was a small movie star in his time. And when he wasn’t filming he went down in quiet to lift the spirits of homeless children and teens. He would put on small performances and then go around to each of them and comfort them if they said it was okay. He made sure by the end of his visit they were all in high spirit. But one day the filming studio caught fire. The smoke damaged his lungs so he couldn’t call out before the building collapsed. -And Chase... He had a loving wife and two kids who he cared for with his life. He vowed to himself to protect them, even though his wife turned into a bitch as the years went on. One night they were walking home from a day at the amusement park and Chase got jumped with his kids nearby. The criminal threatened to kill the kids if Chase didn’t comply. So to protect them, he did as the criminal said, handing over his wallet and watch and phone. And when the criminal was about to kill one of them anyway, instinct took over and Chase knocked the man down and knocked him out- but when he fell the gun went off

The lights on the globe are the septiclights, each one representing a person in the community

Instead of holidays, the guardians help in the background of charity livestreams and videos to give them that little extra spark.

Sean is the equivalent of the Man in the Moon

The extra fan-made egos (like Robbie, Shawn, Angus, and Bing) are still around, they just aren’t the big guardians.

If they were tho... Robbie- Guardian of Innocence, Shawn- Guardian of Voice, Angus- Guardian of... idk, Protection? Or maybe head cannons lol, Bing- Guardian of Online Connections

When too much of the community becomes afraid/ depressed, the guardian’s form changes (like in the movie) before they disappear -JBM: Becomes weaker, probably needs his glasses to see again, basically turned into a comicbook nerd -Marvin: Loses a lot of his color, magic goes away, turns into a cat? -Henrik: Hands continuously shake, gains a stutter so people can hardly understand him, becomes super paranoid/ closed off -JJ: His colors fade to black and white, it’s really hard to summon his powers, always about to cry/ wants to scream -Chase: Goes into a low state of depression, isolates himself a lot -Anti: His bravado diminishes- basically turns into an edgy teen with spasms instead of actual glitches, wound on his neck closes.

Like in the movie there’s a point where Anti takes over (like right now) and everyone’s powers start to fade

To make this angsty(er) he manages to kill JJ and he disappears, along with the light of positivity in the community.

Chase blames himself for not being fast enough to save him

To turn thing around Henrik suggests a charity livestream to promote a mental health organization. So they all work together to prep

A young community member somehow gets into Henrik’s realm

Memes and shenanigans ensue

“We spend all our time trying to protect the community, we don’t HAVE TIME-... for the community..?”

Chase runs off after young familiar voices calling out for their daddy

Chase ends up in Anti’s realm of fear(the opening is in the woods under an abandoned computer desk). It’s a series of twisted hallways bathed in red light and entire walls of glitching computer screens that cast weird shadows

When Chase gets out he realizes all the equipment is destroyed and he wasn’t there to help

Henrik blames Chase and sad dad runs off.

The community is plunged into a state of fire and fear and there’s no positivity anywhere to be found.

Except one last light...

A fan is talking to a Sam plushie, saying that yeah they understand why the stream COULD have been cancelled.. but everything in their life is just so dark they were really looking forward to it.

Chase finds them and uses his powers to make images of septic lights and funny moments in Jack’s videos

They realize it’s Chase who’s doing it and can see him

All the egos fight Anti with the help of a few community members beside them- giving them power to fight back.

The members bring back JJ

JJ kicks the ever living shit out of Anti with the help of the others beside him Okay I think I’ll stop here XD If you read all this... wowie!

This whole thing is a perfect example of how flawed the whole holding your fav accountable system is. I understand what you’re saying but you’re a fan page who heavily if not all the time represents Ashlyn and her family. Your opinions are your own but you’re using Ashlyn’s image. Before making a post to your blog that gets a lot of traffic, why don’t you go see if Ashlyn follows the account/follows the dude the account is after before making it a big deal? He’s not even an American figure. It is so likely that by what she’s been posting lately that her algorithm put that on her explore page. As you can see we had no idea until you said he’s a dick.

I absolutely love your blog and really appreciate your in depth responses and how open you are with your thoughts but pls better manage what you choose to give attention to. at least consider it. much love :)

I get what your saying and again, it wasn't an aim against Ash or anything - also, I am not representing anyone? I'm not Ashlyn's agent or her social media manager, or anything. I'm just someone who posts about her but not in a way to draw attention. Not to mention, it would be odd for people to follow me if they weren't a fan of her (and even those who are a fan of her at times, are not a fan of me, LOL). This is not a dig against you, but it should be known that I have no affiliation with Ash, AK, or her family, and this blog is just a place where I chill and vent my thoughts about soccer and the wives. It's not designed to influence anyone or make anyone do anything. It's why I even said, I get that Ash probably didn't know who she reblogged the post from, but it's important for people who don't know who Jordan Peterson is, to know who Jordan Peterson is. I even said, don't go and bug Ash about it - if people do it anyways, it's not my responsibility; I said what I said, and I didn't tell people, "look at who she reblogged! Everyone, go give her shit for it right now".

I totally get it - Jordan Peterson is not well known in America, but he is in Canada. I agree, she probably reblogged it seeing it on her feed and didn't go back and check the source. BUT, my post was not intended to call her out. At the same time, I am not going to quietly just sit there and be like, "oh she reblogged a Jordan Peterson fan account, I'm sure she meant no ill will", because Ash has a lot of exposure and I am sure that if people went to check out the original post and saw what Jordan ACTUALLY says, they would see for themselves that he is a bad dude. I'm just wanting to be clear that people like that should be known and not given extra voices to. I am sure her Canadian fans are definitely scratching their heads thinking what the heck is she doing reblogging a post from a JP fan blog, but at the same time, when you look at the blog, Ash doesn't follow it, and she's only liked that one post that she reblogged (once again, assuming she probably saw it on her feed or something).

Look, maybe there was a better way for me to handle it, but I didn't say anything like, "Ash is a dick because she reposted a JP quote" or "Ash claims to be all for mental health but then reposts JP". I said:

Idk if I had just said, "hey, JP is a major dick but I know Ash meant well and probs didn't know who he is", would that have been better? Because genuinely I was just thinking out loud here and now people are coming after me like I'm defaming Ash when she probs has no idea who this guy is (like many of you didn't know him, either).

Anyways, idk if this is making sense or not. But I don't think my tiny little blog in the ass-end of nowhere should/could influence people to act a certain way. And if it does, I cannot see how that is my responsibility. You guys don't know me, you don't know what I look like or where I'm from. I'm not making money off this blog. I literally come here to share my thoughts and opinions to myself and if some people tag a long for the ride, the more the merrier. Not to mention that, but this isn't about holding Ash accountable, it never was. I answered in another ask that she probs didn't know who he was because he's not American, but at the same time he is a bad dude and people should know that (people being those who follow me) because he puts a bad name to clinical psychology with his honestly very controversial and at times, extremist, right-wing views.

I made one small post and now all of y'all are coming into my inbox blaming me for simply clarifying who Jordan Peterson is? I don't get it - seriously, not trying to be rude, I genuinely don't get it. So if someone can explain to me why this is a bigger deal than I see it to be, please enlighten me. Because I don't claim to influence anyone and if you are being influenced by me, you should probably be looking elsewhere or for another blog to follow because nothing on this blog is ever intended to "represent" anyone, esp not AK and Ash.

20.01.19

Smoking in the morning is deadass the death of me. I want to quit so bad for motivation,health and money and also bc i don't want to be addicted to anythibt bc it sucks and i want my creativity back (as if i ever had some ) but overall im just utterly unhappy and lowkey anxious all the time. I also want to stop eating and take pills to sleep all day for it to be painless but i have to ttzke care of my son and my daughter its really hard to be in the middle of smth rlly healthy abd hezling and having all the demons glazing on the other side. I mean i have erything i wabt and need (nice house,two d

of my fav dog breeds,designer shoes i always wanted,all the music instruments i ever wanted, a fire ass computer and i worked my ass off for all that. I swear ill get to work when all my paint stash will be dried n expired. I quit hard drugs a year ago n stopped taking pills to have fun or numb out the pain since months idk how many exactly cuz im actually kind of scared of suffering while i die n shit or havr my brain permabebtly damaged. I have so many projects i cant get my mind to do,i dobt have aby motivation although i actuallu trust in my projects. Except from smokibg thered nothing i can turn into a routine, not even starving or feeding n walking my two children. I lost 1kg and put them back on in a two week spawn i dont have anu motivztion to workout, i canna cut my legs off. Its bot uch but its a lot to me sincr i was 3kg away from my goal wright so thats 1/3rd of the rozd. I relapsed w self harm like a month ago,it was pretty bad but i known worse. Idk what to di w my life and my bf but im focusing on ly life and if he leaves my ass its ok he wasbt the one and its one problem less, ion have any strenght to fight for him i can only passively stay bc i just dont feel like i have anh value to him. But he told me he thought i was pretty this morning and i will journal evrry sweet momebts and compliments to feel safe again. Ion wannz seek for jis validatiob that much but its painful to be w someone n thinking they dont value u or even think youre pretty. Even tho know i hav a bad relationship w my appearence and looks in general. The first toll on my self esteem and when things started to go downhill wzs a yezr ago. We had grrat moments since of course but nothong substancial compared to our first months i think ? I least secually because i was never happy, not even once, xith my body since a yezr. It weighs hevzy. I want to go back to ballet classes so bad aswl. I hate this pandemic for the first time and its not making me bend towards resistznce, i comply and isolate and im just looking around thibkine damn son. V first world problem ik. I have no onr to talk to in the sense of i dont really wanna complain bc thats all ill do. The brain fog thibgy is pretty bad eveb tho ik i recovered parts of my ability to read b focus znd stuff but smoking is bringing me down again i soent so much time fighting the fatigue when i couldve solve things. But anxiety is a bitch so i guess i have to deal with it as well. im grateful that i have a new shrink n a good one even tho it costs money. I have an appoibyment this evening to talk ab surgery to my psychiatrist and well see what she thinks of it bc i wont be able to change her after i comed cleab but well see, if its a hard no im paying for that mf straight up and ill see later for my tooth ? Idk. cant borrow money to this friend no more because im not in good terms w him bc of my bf n im afraid to work bc im afraid thzt he hurts me bc hes bummed about it. Im afraid of vengence where i wish he would aprove,empower me to do it, come w me to protect me and pick me up when im done. Ik its a lot to ask and thts why im even more grateful for my best friends support.

My bfs mom is coming over n i cannot stznd her toxic ass so im staying in bed pretending to sleep. Ik itd disrespectful but i dont rrally care at that point. I feel dead and empty.

I have an unpaid comission work to fo n i have 0 willpower and focus even tho the elements of composition n the composition itself for the drawing are laid down already. First shitty draft was 90% i approved i just dont have aby energy to focus and make it good. Ill to it anyway bc rhe deadlines in a few days.

I hate the phone and how long i spend staring at it

My nails are soft i cant scratch i hate it aswl

Went to sleep woke up m gna sleep again til my appt w the shrink

Tagged by @cpt-trips  I got a day off and was finding something to concentrate on so TY for the tag!

Nicknames: Everyone call me Nei or Neva or Nev 

Gender/pronouns: F, she/her. 

Star sign: SCORPIO

Height: 5’5″

Time: you meant the time i was born, it was around 2pm but don’t remember the exact time

Birthday: 24 OCT [can we not talk about my age here? I’m in late 20′s]

Favorite bands: ADTR/MCR/BMTH/TSSF/LA dispute/Chiodos/THE Used/Brand new/Sum 41/Neck deep/PTV/ISSUES/SWS. Now guess my age I was a teenager while Emo’s a thing. 

Favorite solo artist: Halsey, Blackbear, JB (don’t judge me he’s a good singer), Lana and actually I like Mel too(Idk about the drama but I like her music)

Song stuck in your head: Neck Deep - In bloom

Last movie you watched?: Star Wars

Favourite movie genres: I don’t watch movie but if I have to choose I’d choose Sci-fi/Crime investigation/Serial Killer/Paranormal stuff. [I watch crime series a lot I wanted to be a forensic scientist when I was young and I’m interested in killers’ mind so yea]

Why did you create your blog?: I wanted to try to talk with other people, concentrate on something I like. I just want a place where I can be myself and I want this blog to be lively. 

What do you post?: Most are my art, vent texts and music, reblog other’s art, anime, otome and funny stuff. Art is life man I can’t live without it. 

Last thing you googled?: How to stay calm and stop walking around the room

Other blogs: You mean mine? HERE [where i usually reblog stuff I feel relatable but it could trigger some people and this one HERE is horror/witchy, occult stuff

AO3: Nope.

Hobbies: Drawing, Plants, Witchcraft, Pagan, Languages, Manga, Gaming

Do you get asks?: I usually don’t get many but I’m up for any asks/insults or a rant or random stuff you know. Even though I have mental illnesses but I usually wanna help other people and I don’t really care what people think about me much. 

How did you get the idea for your URL?: I was gonna use nevaeh but it’s taken. My name is Neva and I just put EH because it could read as ‘Heaven’ if you reverse it. Naeva is just another way to spell my name lol LAME

I follow: 319 <- [Cpt-trips] Woah! I followed 318. Gonna follow more tho if I find some blogs I’m interested in, my dash is dead af.</p>

Followers: 279 (I don’t even know why you guys still following me lol)

Average hours of sleep:3-5

Lucky number: none

Instruments: A guitar -> I learned classical guitar when I was young so I can play some easy classical music and my dad plays a guitar, was a guitarist and he taught me. I had relationships with guitarists so I can play some drop D/C/B songs

What are you wearing?: sleepwear, it’s a day off i usually wear this when i’m at home it’s comfortable

Dream job: I wanted to be a concept artist for an RPG games but I have no skill in that lol [I work as a motion graphic designer and it’s pretty fun. I love working so I can be busy all the time]

Dream trip: I’ve been to EU/US/JP but also wanna go to those places again. I like nature trip tho not city I don’t do shopping.

Favorite food: Noodles, Pasta, Ramen, SPICY dishes,Enchiladas [I’m fat and I dc], 

Favourite condiment: Ofc it’s Thai condiments which usually contain chilli powders and spicy/salty stuff. Even tho I’m mixed blood but I was born and raise in Bangkok so I fucking love spicy foods.

Significant other?: I’ve been in many of abusive relationships, you name it. I’ve been through both physically/mentally abusive so I’m not sure if I could love someone rn and it’s the reason I hear voices/developed some fetish/kink. But the past is the past tho I accepted it so I’m ok now. And because of my mental illnesses I’ve been in for as long as I remember, so every relationship I have is always complicated, and yes my current relationship’s also really complicated. My most important persons are my parents, my sis and my cat. Now you understand why I'm so into 2d boys right? Because they can't hurt me

Last book I read: Does Manga counts?

Favourite Authors: I don’t really have a fav. But I like crime/investigation novel.

Top 3 fictional universes: Tyria [GW2] 

Tagging: Anyone who wants to do this and I just gonna tag ppl who tagged me before which are @littleladysuzanne @missconnita @infernal-iris @mtkthedreamer @0takudl