#not die and keep punching— and that guy had basically not been damaged at all since the phase change cjfjdjsjks seeing that thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkdemonapologist · 3 years

Photo

[BatIM Call of Cthulhu Masterpost]

what episode are we on, THIRTEEN??? is it 13??? I think it’s 13. LUCKY EPISODE 13

anyway a LOT happened this session (sammy got attacked by an Angel! HES FINE) but ONE of the things that happened is that:

Prophet Sammy and Jack and Norman and Pete were sent off to get projector lightbulbs, because we needed a working projector to activate a magical artefact (AS ONE DOES)

we lost norman, so we took..... every lightbulb since we didn’t know which was the right one

we ran into a sleeping snake in the music room, and we were gonna just sneak past, so Prophet told everyone to keep quiet

Jack’s recent sanity loss resulted in a compulsion to defy orders

Jack defied orders

we actually all failed our rolls to be quiet except for Pete, so we determined that Sammy failed his own stealth check by responding with “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” at top volume, we are a very competent team

ANYWAY HAVE A SMATTERING OF OUT-OF-CONTEXT QUOTES,

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Jack] I have no feelings. [Jack] Well, I have one feeling, and it is: Party.

[Sammy] Sammy will tell him he's the Prophet of our lord! [Joey] Not the Yellow King. You should probably clarify that, [Sammy] (Sammy looks OFFENDED)

[Sammy] And he will pull out the angel trap for, whatever we're planning to do with that... what ARE we planning to do with that? [Jack] Step one, trap an angel. [Jack] Step two, question mark? [Jack] Step three........ Prophet is already here, we skipped ahead a few steps.

[DM] Preach at it! [Sammy] I don't really expect the angels of the False King to be, um, receptive to my message,

[Henry] If no one suggests helping Norman, I honestly don't think he's going to think of it... [GM] Norman is easy to overlook, in Henry's defense. [Henry] But it would be really handy to have... okay, I'm gonna say just before he does it goes, "wait, Norman, you--" [Sammy] (Is Norman receptive--?) [Jack] (Is Norman still there) [Joey] (Actually, Allison's there now? It's really weird.) [GM] (Tom's there now!) [Joey] *cracking up* (The local Tom species is well known to be found in cultist huts!) [Jack] (He's actually just astral projecting from New York, he just thinks he's having horrible PTSD,) [Sammy] (Actually, this is just another loop of Haiti. It's just a really long loop)

[GM, as Norman] Not sure now's the time for a party trick? [Sammy] Just smear your blood on people's hands! At a party!!!

[GM] Okay! 7 more temporary strength damage! [Henry] I'm at 52... [Joey] Joey could beat you in an arm wrestling match! [Sammy] OH NO, oh that IS bad! [Jack] If we're going by Strength number... Henry, having passed out after magical overexertion, is still stronger than Jack!

[Joey] Joey's gonna put a hand on Sammy's shoulder, and tell him that he did a good job! [Sammy] *muttering* ...Sammy does not require the praise of men... he seeks only to please his lord. [Joey] Well too bad! [Joey] He clearly has no taste.

[GM] The Angel is basically in between you and the huts. [Sammy] Cool, cool, cool. That's exactly where I wanted an Angel to be.

[GM] It's Jack's turn! [Jack] Hm, [GM] Joey's growing spear arms-- [Joey] (Pitchfork.) [GM] --Pitchfork arms... Avedon's freaking out... Henry's collapsed and is bleeding again... *cheerfully* Jack can appreciate all of this! In full detail now!

[Jack] Norman, hurry up and come to your senses so you can save your... whatever the heck Avedon is to you! [Sammy] Seems like friends at least. [Jack] Maybe more! [Jack] Imagine~

[GM] Henry is still down for this round, but is there anything he wants to take this opportunity to communicate or do? [Henry] *mumbling quietly* I'm fine, I'm fine... I just, I'm-- I'm fine,

[Sammy] Out of character, I'm alarmed. Sammy doesn't care!

[GM] Norman doesn't really want to leave someone to die. He's assuming everyone's on the same page, but... I guess we'll see!

[Joey] I think he's going to toon-hand, to reach out, and just like... open, the Angel's mouth? [Jack] That is cartoon logic! [Sammy] Put a stick in there. [Joey] Yeah! [Joey] NO, ACTUALLY, THAT'S GREAT [Joey] I'M STEALING THAT

[Jack] OH YEAH. Gives Jack an insanity, immediately forgets the insanity, [GM] It's good that everyone helps out on these! Because I'll tell you what, I do not remember all of them, [Joey] I feel like normally you shouldn't need to remember this many? I feel like we have maybe, uh, gone, a little far with them,

[Jack] The Lurker is a Bendy, he’s been training for this!

[GM] Avedon is muttering, intensely! [Sammy] That's-- that’s good! -- he's fine! See! He's back to normal!

[Joey] Joey is right next to Avedon, and holding him in his freakin, large cartoon hand.... and he rolLED A NINETY THREE ON LISTEN, he has, he has chosen not to listen to a word this man is saying. He is doing the opposite, he is REJECTING LISTENING. [Sammy] I rolled an 83, I don't know what Sammy's listening to but it's not Avedon! [GM] Bendy's also cackling delightedly, which isn't helping. [Sammy] Ohhhhhh that's what I'm listening to, the joyful laughter of my lord.

[Jack] What is stopping us from doing Moon Lens-y things? [Sammy] (oUT OF CHARACTER, I THINK THAT'S A REALLY GOOD IDEA!!!!)

[Jack] Maybe we should do, NOT this! and instead do, SOMETHING ELSE!! because it seems as though we have, just a little bit of a time limit!!!

[GM] It's gonna try to claw Moonlight free! In hopes that he can free it later. [Joey] Maybe it'll roll really badly-- [Sammy] Accidentally kill Moonlight, [GM] Let's see if it, like, fumbles... oh no, it does? whAT?? It rolled 98!! [entire party cackling with delight] [GM] Awkward,,,

[Sammy] If you don't shoot it, then Henry's gonna try to use magic again and it's just gonna be a mess. [Jack] He better not! [Sammy] Yeah, but it's Henry, so- [Jack] If he does, Jack'll beat him up himself! [Sammy] Oh, yeah, those sOFT LYRICIST FISTS, YOU WATCH OUT!!! [Jack] Jack punches Henry and Henry gains health

[GM] It stumbles a bit, but it's still coming. [Henry] *calmly* Shoot it again, please.

[Sammy] Sammy just doesn't take a sanity penalty because he's doing great, and is extremely sane. He doesn't have ANY insanities! [GM] I feel like the preaching one might still apply... [Sammy] It's not a compulsion, he just makes bad choices.

[Joey] Norman, did you bring your flashlight? [GM] Hm. Did Norman bring a flashlight to a swanky party...? [Joey] *muttering* he brought a GUN,

[GM] Make sanity checks, those of you who possess sanity!

[Joey] He's immediately going to turn around, and pull out the stone, and try to convert it! [Sammy] *softly, with feeling* ...you asshole...! [Henry] Uh, nonono, hey, uh-- [Sammy] (That's my job--!) [Joey] He's specifically trying to convert it to... not the Messenger, [Sammy] *DISTRESSED SCREECHING*

[GM] People who register as normal humans should be fine? [Jack] Does Sammy count as a normal human, currently? [GM] He does! [Sammy] Alas. He still must exist in this prison.

[Henry] Henry's going to say something along the lines of "Don't make me regret this," and he's going to start warding the door. [Sammy] (gOSH,,, whY ARE YOU, LISTENING TO HIM????) [Jack] (They just enable each other!) [Sammy] *incoherent yelling*

[GM] There's a big ol' snake! In the chair! [Henry] snair (snake chair) [Joey] Oh! You guys have to grab the snake, for Henry! [Sammy] We... don't! [Henry] For his collection!! [GM] Snare the snair!! [Sammy] NO! We're not gonna grab the snake chair! You didn't tell Sammy, 'now if you see a snake chair while you're out, make sure to grab that!' You DIDN'T TELL HIM THAT, YOU SHOULD'VE PUT IT ON THE LIST before you send him out like this, and not TEXT HIM EXTRA THINGS WHEN HE'S HALF-WAY THERE!!!

[GM] *describing weapons that can be found in the music room* There's lots of blunt instruments around... [Jack] NO!!!

[Henry] He's not going to be able to physically restrain Joey for the entire time you guys are gone!! [Jack] Because we all know that's the only way to stop Joey Drew.

[Joey] He's going to fix the story, and he's not going to let the Messenger ever mess with them again! [Henry] WE CAN DO THAT ANOTHER TIME, DREW

[GM] What is Henry trying to convince him, exactly? [Henry] *so, so tired* To just... stop.....

[Henry] ...I don't know... he wants to take as much strain off of Joey as he can-- [Sammy] DON'T TIE YOURSELF TO AN ELDRITCH ARTEFACT! [Henry]..........yeah, I'm going to listen to the ghost of Sammy.

[GM] You get to the closet, and find lightbulbs! [Sammy] So Norman has found what we need. [GM] No. Norman's not there anymore. [Sammy] .................what. [Joey] *cracking up* (ALLISON is there!)

[Sammy] *muttering* Okay, let's move very quietly through the room and not wake up the snake. [Jack] ...is he saying that out loud? [Sammy] ..........yes. [Sammy] Probably something more like, "Stay quiet, my sheep" [Jack] HMMMMMMMMMM [Sammy] I'm sorry, Sammy doesn't know about your insanity [Jack] HMMMMMMMMMMMM! [Joey] *laughs* Oh, we're disasters! [Jack] Theoretically, what would I do to suppress a compulsion...?

[Jack] And Norman isn't in this room? [GM] No, he is not. Although, uh.... yeah, nope. Nope!

[Joey] I honestly did not think Joey was going to get this far. I thought people would be back by now. [GM] There was a snake, [Sammy] We had to take a bit of a circuitous route, and SOMEONE is playing the piano! Even though I told him not to! [Jack] Also, snircuitous. [Sammy] (Why is this happening to me.) [Jack] I'm helping you method act Sammy Lawrence!

[GM] He does hear some of that laughing again, sounding very pleased, and an unpleasantly loud metallic sound. [Sammy] (.......is Norman actually becoming the Projectionist!? Eps is gonna be THRILLED!)

#call of cthulu: haunted hijinx #sammy lawrence #Jack Fain #prophet sammy IMMEDIATELY ditched the mask #it is not the mask his lord gave him!!!! a false mask!!!#anyway the concept of jack with a >83 expression is too good not to draw

118 notes · View notes

riathedreamer · 3 years

Text

Zero is Null

A discussion of Zero’s love-hate-relationship with RvB and struggling independence; including a hotdog too big for the bun, tragic backstories, a single bow-chicka-bow-wow, and a cookie at the very end.

Welcome to what will be a lot of text. Basically, it will explore why Zero fails as an RvB (with emphasis on RvB) season. I will not be the first one to bring forth some of the points, and I promise to be fair and civil and fun. This isn’t supposed to be a piece of hate – in fact, I’m writing this because I love Red vs. Blue.

Okay, first of all, to increase your fun – take a guess on just how much of Zero is spent on fight scenes. You see, I’ve calculated the exact amount, and I will reveal it later, but for now, take a guess and remember the number. Maybe you are the winner!

Alright, time to share my thoughts. Wait! Since I suffer from anxiety and have this one annoying voice pretending to be all those critical statements my opinion could be met with, let’s give it an actual voice and address the points throughout this review.

“Why would I care about your opinion, Ria?” – I don’t know, you’re the one who clicked Read More.

“Your opinion doesn’t matter!” – Of course, it doesn’t! Geez. Do you think your opinion matters, though? Listen, we’re on Tumblr, the actual equivalent of screaming into the void. And it’s fun, too!

“If you don’t like it, don’t watch!” - *activates Uno Reverse Card* “You can’t talk about something you haven’t watched!”

“You’re just a Hater” – Actually, this is a point I’ll come back to. Like a cliffhanger. Also, at the end of this, there’ll be a cookie. But this will also include me talking about the stuff I like, because, surprise, Zero is not without talent!

“You just don’t like it because the Reds and Blues aren’t in it!” – Actually, that’s a good point, so instead, this review will start with a sole focus on Zero and discuss the problem that lies within that story. Then we can address why the lack of OG cast is understandable and problematic and weird.

But first! Backstory.

When the first 5 second teaser dropped back in spring (you know, when we were young and innocent and the world didn’t feel like an apocalyptic movie yet), I held onto that one image of what I thought (hoped) to be Grif and Simmons in the sunset, hopefully addressing Grif’s hateglue arc, but boy was I wrong because a) that’s not Simmons, that’s Sarge, and b) the image was from a PSA since the Reds are not in Zero.

Actual face-reveal of me below:

Admittedly, when I heard that the Reds and Blues were not going to be the main characters (or even show up), it felt like a gut punch. However, I actually found myself getting excited due to the creators’ hype. I want to praise them for this. It’s been a while since an RvB season was talked so much ABOUT before its release; it had advertisements, it had creators and voice-actors talking about it. Please. More of that in the future. Their passion rubbed off on me, and that deserves recognition. So it pains me that this was clearly a passion-project, and then when I gave it a try, I didn’t want to touch it again for weeks.

Here’s the thing. I cannot whole-heartedly say that Zero is bad. It’s not gonna melt your eyes. It’s not even so-bad-it’s-good. For me, it’s meh. It’s a Saturday-morning-cartoon aimed for a younger audience with a rushed plot and clichéd characters. The problem is that it calls itself RvB, and with that title comes something to live up to – but more importantly, something to continue.

My main issue is that Zero forces its story into existence by ignoring established content rather than adjusting to it. Let’s call this for the hotdog-too-big-for-the-bun syndrome solely for the sake of the bow-chicka-bow-wow that’s coming now. Bow-chicka-bow-wow. Many of the separate issues I will dive into all add to this hotdog-issue, so I will scream “Hotdog!” whenever this is the case so we can all keep track of my argument.

You can continue the story of Red vs. Blue without the Reds and Blues. While that would personally crush my heart, it can be done. There’s a story of Red vs. Blue that can be continued. The world can be expanded, the previous actions of the Reds and Blues can be explored from another angle.

So.

How does Zero do this? It doesn’t.

I just want to make it clear that new elements can definitely be added when it comes to worldbuilding. That’s literally the point of sequels. But Zero’s settings are presented with so little grace and with no connection to previously established worldbuilding. We get Alliance of Defense and GLASS thrown in our face as very big important organizations – yet we’ve never heard of them before. A big central plot point of RvB is the UNSC and Project Freelancers, and those were introduced naturally with the plot. We already have big established intergalactic organizations. What is AOD’s connection with those? We aren’t told. We are just told they exist and expected to accept it, no questions asked. If this was a whole new world and story – fine. But when you need to build on an already established worldbuilding, you need more grace than this. Chorus was a whole new setting, but it was explained, and it was connected to the previous plot. Same with Iris. Same with Desert Gulch. In Zero, it feels lazy. It feels forced. These organizations are just there because the story is built around them (HOTDOG).

This vagueness when it comes to wordbuilding is also reflected in the settings - we have a desert, a training base, a lab, temples, Tucker’s workplace, and we do not know if all those are set place on the same planet. If that is the case, what is this planet’s relationship with Chorus? Is it Earth? And most importantly, what is the deal with the temples? Why are they connected to Tucker’s sword if it isn’t the same planet. Are they made by the same aliens? Are people okay with this? Why haven’t these temples been explored before? Chorus makes sure to establish this, while Zero doesn’t, adding to a growing amount of confusion.

Okay, so no connection with previous worldbuilding. What about characters? I mean, we got Wash and Carolina and Tucker! So we have RvB characters, it gotta be RvB! Technically – yeah. But it feels dirty. These three characters are not here to be characters. They are here to be props to the new cast. They are not given any development. Their presence isn’t even that important, and if this was a whole new show, they could easily have been replaced with an unknown face. Worst of all, they feel miswritten.

Carolina and Wash are working at a new military organization? Leaving the Reds and Blues behind? To help people? First of all, fucking bad idea, Carolina, the last time you left the Reds and Blues alone, they changed the timeline. But most importantly – Carolina and Wash just joined this new super elite military organization? After being mistreated and manipulated by such an organization in the past?

Carolina is there to introduce the characters. That’s it. We are force-fed their personality by having her literally read out loud their personality. There is no gentle introduction to the new cast. We are not allowed to get to know them naturally. Why show when you can tell, huh? That’s Carolina’s role. That’s why she is there. To introduce the cast and explain their story. That’s it. (HOTDOG).

How about Wash? He is there to get beat up and be a damsel in distress so that the new cast has a reason to explore the plot. Oh, and that brain damage that was the consequence of previous seasons – gone now. The guy who literally has trauma from having an AI explode inside his head is fine with having a computer inserted into it instead. Because that’s needed. To explore his brain damage wouldn’t work now when his role is to be a prop to lure the new cast for one episode and then be put onto the bench for the rest of the runtime (HOTDOG).

And Tucker – he is there to die for a second and have his sword taken from him. That’s literally it. And for the few moments he is there, he feels like old super flirty Tucker, which erases the character development he went through in previous seasons. Okay, so Tucker dies, and then not dies, and then he is put on the bench with Wash where they can sit and talk or whatever (‘cause holy shit, the new cast is not allowed to that), because he isn’t important. The sword is. Tucker is just a prop, even more than his sword is (HOTDOG).

Damn. Wash gets beat up. Tucker gets beat up. Dies. Gets his sword taken away. Almost seems like a Red’s wet dream. Sorry not sorry, Blues, you were done dirty.

So there are miswritten old characters. Even worse is the retconning. The plot needs a “normal” Wash, so, bam, magic computer solution. Never mind Wash’s trauma and character traits. Never mind the logic of the new worldbuilding which also includes a character suffering for years to heal an illness. But the brain damage that was such a big consequence that it became the main part of the plot of the last two seasons – gone. I mean, a gunshot to the head can be healed by CPR. That’s canon. But no one gave Wash CPR so it’s a big thing, okay. It was canonically a big thing, and Zero erased that. This is not me saying that a Cerebral Enhancer couldn’t work in the RvB universe. Imagine it being done right. Wash struggling with the choice of getting used to his disability or accepting the possibility of help - at the cost of reliving his trauma. The struggle between what to choose - what should he choose when he wants to help as many as possible, the sacrifices he thinks he has to make, the way it could have been used as a part of his character growth. But in Zero, the enhancer isn’t a part of Wash’s character. It’s there so the story can work without having to deal with the previous plot’s consequence (HOTDOG).

Same with the sword thing. They sorta explain it by having Tucker flatline, but it’s weak. Honestly, I find it sorta offensive. What about Locus’ sword as well? It’s twisting previous lore to make the new plot work (HOTDOG). (Also, are we not gonna talk about the ultimate power being Spencer Porkensenson’s helmet? Have the writers forgotten Spencer Porkensenson? Have we as a community forgotten Spencer Porkensenson?)

If you have Red vs. Blue in your title, you cannot ignore what you inherit from it. You need to respect the worldbuilding, the established characters, and the previous plot. Zero does not do this.

Let’s talk about the Triplets. No, really, let’s do it. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about them before, because season 14 was a mixed bag for me (that I have now learned to appreciate. Thank you, Zero.) because I have heart at the size of the Grinch and can only love a few characters at a time, and that did not include the Triplets. Can’t even remember their names. Well, I can, but I can’t for the love of me remember which state is which, and my tongue is twisted every time I try to say Ohio, Iowa, and Idaho, and I know it’s on purpose. I know it is. And it got me good. That being said, the fandom actually embraced them really, really well! Seriously, I’ve seen more content for the Triplets than for Zero as a whole.

Why talk about the Triplets? (Was Iowa the lesbian? Or was it Ohio? Fuck.) Because like Zero, they introduced new characters with a story of their own. The Reds and Blues didn’t play a role. But here’s what I feel like the Triplets got right. They didn’t change the settings to force their narrative. They used stuff already established (Project Freelancer), added their own story as a continuation of that. They even included old characters in the beginning (Wash and some other Freelancers) but it felt natural and it didn’t feel like it happened at the expense of the old characters. Wash’s writing felt natural, and his presence wasn’t needed to tell these new character’s stories. He wasn’t a prop to them. He was there to establish the setting and to establish the relationship with these new characters, and then he and the other familiar faces (helmets??) left, and we as the viewers were left with these new characters. And the new characters told their own story by themselves. It felt like, hey, here’s something you know – remember Mother of Invention, and remember Wash’ lower rank, but now, try to imagine being even lower rank than him, aren’t you curious about those fates? Now let’s hear their story! It was new, it was something else, but it didn’t wreck what came before it, and it stayed true to the classic vibes of RvB.

As I said before, the hotdog-issue is my biggest problem with Zero. It infuriates me. I will return to this. But there are more issues, even if we try to look past the title-related problems.

If we try to imagine Zero as its own story and universe (as it should be, in my opinion), it still earns the meh review from me.

These isolated issues include awkwardness, the writing, lack of self-awareness, and pacing. First of all, holy shit, this is a tell, don’t show. Nothing is subtle, nothing is allowed to develop. It’s like the show thinks you are six years old with an attention span of a goldfish. You are not just led by the hand – they have literally pulled off your arm by the end of the show. We are force-fed every bit of information, every bit of personality from these new characters.

The voice-acting is a mixed bag for me. Sometimes it’s pretty good, sometimes it’s not. Some of the problems can definitely be blamed on the dialogue that you can only do so much with. It’s not good. I can’t remember any good jokes (the one joke I really appreciate was the cast on armor, and that was freaking visual humor. That was so RvB. Kudos to that. It was fun. More of that, please.), and RvB is known for having memorably good lines. This is a show built on good, clever, funny dialogue. Zero does not deliver. You have to sit through clichéd lines – “You’re not my dad”, “I trusted you”, “Come with me”, “It can’t be!”, “She’s way too powerful”, and “We have to do this together” – performed unironically. I cringed more than I laughed. Worst thing is that Zero could be a good parody. Sometimes, it feels like it is. One-dimensional characters, a villain wanting ‘the ultimate power’, very overpowered characters, bad one-liners, etc. But Zero takes itself seriously, and I was one of the people rooting for Jax to show up at the end and yell “Cut”. That would have been a funny-as-fuck twist. A spin-off parody. If I can’t have “Sarge the Movie”, I would have taken that and loved it. I would have forgiven everything. “We put so much info into finding that power, but we had no idea what it was” is really a line in the finale, and I cannot believe this is real in a show that somehow still tries to present itself as serious. What a plot.

We have to talk about pacing. God, first of all it should be stated that RvB is a mess when it comes to pacing. I honestly get what they were going for. Sometimes, RvB has come across as a bit boring when you get three episodes stretched over three weeks without much going on. I know season 11 did not have the warmest welcome because it was seen as boring until the finale. But when you see season 11 as a whole, as a movie, as a part of a trilogy, it works so well. Zero is more focused on being episodic. They want something to happen all the time so we will stay tuned. The thing that will happen – a fight. Oh god. The fight scenes.

I have done the math. I have run the numbers. I deserve a freaking cookie for this. Are you ready?

If you put all the episodes together, you have a runtime of 106 minutes. HOWEVER, with the introduction of credits in every episode, you gotta account for this. Removing the credits, this gives us 94 minutes of actual runtime. Out of that, 45 minutes are dedicated to fight scenes. That means 48% of the show is fight scenes.

If I wanted that many fight scenes, I’d watch Death Battle. Except the actual RvB Death Battle episode has a runtime of 20 minutes, and out of that, 5 minutes is dedicated to the actual battle. For the people who hate math – that’s 25% of the actual runtime.

RvB Zero has more fight scenes than a show called Death Battle. Take that in.

The pace suffers from this. Where’s the time to explore the characters? Where’s the time for good dialogue? All I can think of is this:

I get that RvB is a show that’s literally making fun of itself by acknowledging all their characters do is stand around and talk. I get that you want characters to do more than that. But for the love of Church, would it kill the new characters to stand around and talk? For just a minute? Stop fighting, I am begging you, stop fighting! Am I a pacifist now? Am I purple? Have I joined Doc’s team? What has Zero done to me?!

The good thing though is that fight scenes are very good. They’re entertaining. However, they seem to deconstruct themselves when we need to get a fight scene in every episode. Usually, the few fight scenes in an RvB season were in some of the most climatic episodes. In Zero, I can hardly keep up with the pace because they won’t stop moving. Fight scenes aren’t plot. They aren’t character development. You need more than just fight scenes. They entertain, but there’s a limit to that.

Noël Wiggins, the co-writer, stated the inspiration was a Saturday-morning cartoon. They nailed that vibe. If that was their goal, hurray, they have accomplished something! Because of the poor plot and constant fight scenes, it feels like you could just switch on the TV and drop in at any moment and let yourself be entertained by the cool and colorful soldiers punching and kicking each other. I will admit that the fight scenes entertained me. But they don’t make it a good season.

If I were the six-year-old with the attention span of a goldfish that the show believes I am, I honestly would enjoy it. The stiff dialogue and the constant tell-don’t-show makes you feel like an audience that’s not supposed to do anything else but admire the flashy fight scenes. I miss the cleverness of RvB. I miss the characters I get to connect with as I see them grow.

I miss the tone of RvB. Because this isn’t RvB to me.

It’s not that RvB hasn’t changed its tone before. Holy shit, I sorta do want to experience the absolute shock the RvB fandom went through when s6 aired and they were given new characters and serious plot. I would have loved to experience that, but I was too busy being ten years old. The Freelancers seasons also introduced a new tone and more fight scenes with very talented fighters compared to the Blood Gulch gang, but a balance was kept by having half of the season still revolving around the Reds and Blues. But Zero – Zero is so much change. And it’s on purpose. At least this has been made very clear from the beginning.

They constantly seem to appeal to new fans, rather than be directed towards older fans of the show. If you want an entirely new audience with a season with a new cast, new worldbuilding, and new tone, I’m confused as to why they don’t just make a new show. The hotdog-problem begs for this solution. This story and environment and characters feel so out of touch with the original RvB, that with a few rewrites and lack of Halo-armor, it could just be a new show. Problem solved.

If not this, then present it as a spin-off. In all ways, it feels like a spin-off (again, see everything marked HOTDOG). But the creators refuse to do this, and I don’t understand why. I could forgive many of these issues, had they officially separated themselves from canon.

Ah, what’s the idiom? You can’t both swallow and blow? (You can hear the Bow-chicka-bow-wow in the distance). Something about eating cake and having it. Forgive me, English isn’t my native language. POINT IS why are you calling yourself RvB while actively fighting against the core essence of RvB? In my humble opinion, you can’t be both. Marketing it as a spin-off would have granted it some defense when changing, well, literally everything, and I just, would someone please properly describe why it isn’t a spin-off? Isn’t this season marked by its association with the plot of RvB rather than a continuation of it? Zero presenting itself as not a spinoff feels like a toddler clinging to the hem of its mother’s dress while forcefully running away from her, ripping the dress in the process.

When they do connect with the original RvB, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. When they let Carolina, Wash, and Tucker appear for a moment, it feels like luring viewers in with the RvB title. Look at me. Look at me! I’m not saying this is the case. I say that it gives me the annoying vibes of being lured, rather than letting the characters be a part of the show for their own development, rather than having RvB in the title to continue its story. I should not be getting these vibes at all. But I am.

If you want to use RvB in the title, something from the core of RvB needs to be embraced. Things can be changed. They should. Something new should be brought in. But there’s a limit to how much you can change and replace and twist until it would have been better with an original show. As a season of RvB, it should tell the story of Red vs. Blue.

From my perspective, Zero fails to do so.

It pains me that the old cast has been replaced, but as stated earlier, a season could have worked without them. However, I do not like the take that one should be excited about all the new characters. That it isn’t a big thing that the OG cast got replaced. That we should just deal with it. Just, try to imagine another show suddenly replacing the main characters with characters we’ve never met before. Imagine RWBY suddenly only focusing on a new team of huntresses with the previous main characters reduced to an Easter Egg presence, or Camp Camp suddenly being about a new team of campers, no warning given. Can you imagine the outcry? So maybe let’s agree that a replacement of the main cast is a big thing and should be addressed and it’s valid to be upset about this change.

Could Zero have worked? It’s hard to answer this. How can I accept something as RvB if the season actively pushes away the core of RvB aside for an isolated story that could have been told in any other media? As a spinoff, I could have ignored it. To enjoy Zero, I have to fully separate it from RvB in my mind, and then it’s alright. S’not good. But it’s not bad. It’s entertaining enough. I really ended up liking Raymond and Tiny, and there were a few good jokes, and the fight scenes were admirable (but too much) and I love the creators’ passion. But it’s not RvB. I also wish that the new characters had been attached to previous worldbuilding, for example soldiers on Chorus or agents from Project Freelancer. That way we could build on familiar lore which would have decreased the confusion and added a much needed connection with the previous seasons of RvB.

God, the anxious voice is back (by the way, it sounds like Tutter from “Bear in the Blue House”).

“You’re racist” – I hope not. Literally, I do not want to be. Tell me if I’ve ever crossed some lines, because I swear, that is not my intention, I will apologize and most of all, change and do better. I included this because I’ve seen this take thrown around in the big ugly mess that is the fandom clashes regarding Zero. And racism is problem within RT community (this includes AH and RvB, sorry, I just use RT as an umbrella term for the latter), and I’m not saying it hasn’t been a problem with this season. Writers should never be harassed, and never-fucking-ever because of their skin color, and voice actors shouldn’t be treated like they are responsible for the choices of the show. But I was legit nervous to post this review, and I hope it’s been factual without feeling like personal attacks on the creators because that has never been my intention. I was delighted to hear about the diversity behind this project, and Torrian’s passion legit blew me away because it’s been a while since I’ve seen that for an RvB project. I’d hoped for it to be good, and when I feel disappointed, it’s for the reasons stated in this analysis. That said, Zero is made by a diverse cast and it’s made with love, and both of those things are so, so great, but it does not mean that Zero cannot be criticized. It can, and it should. It’s a product, just like all the other seasons, and fans are allowed to discuss it – both what they loved, and both what they found troublesome. And to repeat previous points, and be respectful, always, fuck racists, and never-fucking-ever harass the staff behind a season, what the fuck is wrong with you if you do this.

“Don’t you get it, it’s different because it’s trying something new!” – Hey, remember the philosophical question: if you replace all the parts of a ship one-by-one, is it still the same ship when you’re done? If it doesn’t include the Reds and Blues, if it ignores previous plot, if the old characters feel miswritten, if it values animation over dialogue, if it values fight scenes over comedy, if it wants to be Fast and Furious instead of Red vs. Blue – is it still Red vs. Blue? Because it doesn’t feel like it to me.

“It's been 17 seasons, it’s time to let the Reds and Blues go so someone else can shine!” – I simply do not understand us having been with the Reds and Blues for 17 seasons should be an argument to let them go, rather than be an argument as to why their absence hurt like hell.

“The Reds and Blues ran out of things to do!” – Did- did they, though? I mean, if we were discussing pretty much any other show, I’d probably agree that they were running out of content. But for the Reds and Blues… I think the PSAs nailed it this year! I’m not kidding, I had more fun watching the Reds and Blues discuss how to do laundry than watching Zero. You could literally give me an hour of the Reds and Blues trying to bake a cake or clear a gutter or simply settling down with an ordinary life, and I would trust them to make it worth the watch.

“The flaws were due to the fact it’s only 8 episodes long!” – Look, I can only judge a product the way it’s presented to me. I cannot come up with excuses for it. If they had 8 episodes to work with, they need to come up with a plot that works with this runtime. Seriously, this excuse cannot work when 48% of the season is spent on fight scenes. They could have used more runtime, sure, but the show needs to be able to pace itself and be planned accordingly.

“The OG cast couldn’t be a part of this year, hence Zero!” – That might be true. But. Would one year without RvB kill it? Is Zero necessary? Again, I just can’t judge excuses for the show. But trouble with the cast has been an issue before. Season 15 solves Geoff’s sabbatical by actually making Grif’s absence a part of the plot. Zero’s lack of Reds and Blues just feels like this excuse to tell a story that needn’t be a part of RvB.

Am I a hater? I guess? I greatly dislike Zero for the critique stated above. I do, however, not harass the creators and no one should ever do that. However, I have to admit that I feel there’s been this weird rejection of any critique of Zero where everything’s been brushed off as haters gonna hate, including the critique stated above. And I think that’s a problem because critique, as hard as it can be to hear (and I know this. I’m an author of original works. Weird flex, I know), is valid and necessary and shouldn’t just be shrugged away. As always, both sides of the fandom should always be respectful, but my own opinion is that addressing the flaws of Zero should not be controversial.

Does this super long rant/critique/whatever mean you cannot enjoy Zero? Gods no! I almost envy you if you enjoy this season, but holy shit, feel free to love it and tell the creators that you love it! Me pointing out the issues I have with the season shouldn’t be stopping you. I loved (and still love) s15 when it came out, and it was majorly rejected by the fandom. There were many, many critical posts, people were going on about how RvB should have ended with s13, and it evolved into the writer receiving death threats (me, once again: never ever harass the creators, assholes). But I didn’t tell people to stop being negative. I actually agreed with many of the flaws that were pointed out, and I enjoyed the season despite this, because that is possible. We, as RvB fans, should agree that RvB, is... I mean, it’s not the greatest, most flawless of shows, but we love it nonetheless. So go ahead and love Zero. This is not a stop sign. This is my opinion that you chose to read.

Wait, I promised you a cookie, didn’t I? Well, you’re not getting one. Why? Because I’m a Red and this is my chance to piss off a Blue. As Caboose wisely said: “Well, at least I don't go around... knocking on people's non-doors... and promising them cookies... and then NOT. GIVING. THEM. COOKIES!”

Blue Team sucks.

End speech.

#rvb zero #rvb #rvb zero critical #rvb critical #rvb0 #my rvb stuff #pls dont hate me for this #this is my honest opinion that people apparantly wanted to hear #as a standalone story zero isnt totally bad #as an rvb season it is

273 notes · View notes

ravnicaforgoblins · 3 years

Photo

Ravnica for Goblins

Alignment

Figuring out where on the spectrum of beliefs, morals, and neutrality your character falls can be a challenge. One individual’s Chaotic Good is another’s Lawful Evil. To help clarify things, most campaigns include alignment for significant NPCs, and one can often draw a line between that NPC and that alignment. This doesn’t apply to every NPC, but the more important someone is, the more they come to represent a specific section of the moral grid in a campaign.

Ravnica does this as well, with most of the alignment chart represented by a Guildmaster. This isn’t completely uniform, however, so there’s wiggle room for an NPC to lean one way or the other as fits the story. There are some pretty safe bets, however, who can be counted on to check certain boxes at all times.

Isperia of the Azorius Senate: Lawful Neutral

Isperia represents the goal of the Azorius; objective devotion to upholding the laws as they are written. She was elected to her position because of her ability to look passed right & wrong, instead focusing solely on interpreting Ravnica’s 10d6 of Psychic damage legal system for all disputes.

Lazav of House Dimir: Neutral Evil

Lazav is the Dimir at their most annoying but least murderous. Blatant disregard for everyone’s privacy, but preference for stealing, secrets, and information over assassination. Lazav infiltrates every Guild, including his own, always determined to stay several steps ahead of any potential threat. This is not to say he won’t kill people if necessary, but his is a cold, “bloodstained calculus” methodology. It’s never personal.

Rakdos of the Cult of Rakdos: Chaotic Evil

On this plane, Rakdos is the living embodiment of Chaotic Evil, a title he takes very seriously. It’s just about the only thing he takes seriously, as he prefers to live without rules and have everyone else do the same. Unrestrained hedonism and mayhem are his bread & butter. You do what you want, whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want, regardless of what anyone or anything else says. No restrictions, no inhibitions, no hesitation. Encouraging this kind of destructive chaos in the streets is the only thing keeping Rakdos from embracing more orthodox Chaotic Evil behavior of slaughtering millions, enslaving thousands, and bowing to no one.

The Obzedat of the Orzhov Syndicate: Lawful Evil

Hard to believe there can be something worse than an actual Demon given permission to encourage every sin imaginable, but that is what the Ghost Council are. The Obzedat exist to stretch, bend, and twist every law designed to maintain order, neutrality, or justice so as to benefit themselves. What’s worse is how the Orzhov play innocent when they do it. Unlike the Dimir or the Rakdos who accept and even embrace society’s interpretation of their actions, the Orzhov refuse to be seen as anything but humble, spiritual, gracious public servants. The very antithesis of what they actually are; arrogant, miserly, manipulative bastards. They will point out exactly which laws they are not breaking, which laws there is insufficient evidence to prove they are breaking, and which laws prevent you from punching them in the face right now.

Trostani of the Selesnya Conclave: Neutral Good

If there’s one thing to be said for Selesnya, it’s that they are rarely the problem. The Conclave is perfectly content to keep to their fields & forests most of the time and focus solely on building up their own Guild. In a city where every Guild has a problem with every other Guild, Selesnya is the only one who at least tries to get along with everyone else. They don’t tend to get involved in matters that don’t concern them, but theirs is always a safe haven for those who seek it. Trostani is made up of three dryads representing Harmony, Life, and Order. You don’t get much more Neutral Good than that. The only problem is that Trostani basically never leave their Guildhall, so their influence only spreads so far. The reason they can live so peacefully is because so little of the chaotic city life overlaps into theirs.

Besides them, everyone has wiggle room and gray area to move around in. Both Niv-Mizzet and Borborygmos are canonically Chaotic Neutral, but with their most prominent personality traits being vanity & anger, respectively, the “Neutral” part of that can go out the window quick. Still, almost every Guild has at least a semblance of a position somewhere on the chart to start from. You can basically count on a member of each Guild to be at least:

Azorius Senate: Lawful

This is the Guild that writes the laws of Ravnica, after all. They literally draw their power from this ancient legal code, so it makes sense that, whether an Azorius leans more towards Good, Evil, or Neutrality, they do so lawfully.

Boros Legion: Good

If the Azorius follow the intellectual letter of the law, the Boros follow the passionate spirit for which said law was originally written. Justice, not legal-ese. Sometimes the law is good enough, but sometimes it fails its citizens. A Boros should be an inspiring force for Good, whether Lawful or Chaotic depends on the individual.

House Dimir: Neutral

The best a Dimir operative can hope to achieve, morally speaking, is neutrality. If you are working for this Guild, you are lying & stealing. Odds are you are infiltrating another Guild to find/steal information to report back to your superior(s). Not every Dimir agent does this willingly, however. Maybe a character only became a Dimir operative after finding out their mentor was. Maybe a character had nowhere else to turn and no one else to depend on. Maybe they just needed House Dimir’s connections to get them close enough to someone in another Guild who wronged them. Whatever the motivation, cling to that gray area of neutrality like your life depends on it. It’s all you’ve got.

Gruul Clans: Chaotic

Gruul are many things. “Lawful” is not one of them. If you’re a member of a Gruul Clan, you’ve definitely got a bit of a temper on you and a strong disregard for authority. Now, a Gruul can absolutely be a force for good, or, conversely, evil. Maybe you joined the Gruul after your ancestral home was bulldozed over for a smelly Izzet facility. Maybe you had a mental breakdown after decades of trying to uphold law in a city where the laws mean jack shit unless there’s a guy in blue sitting at his desk. Maybe you got tired of planting trees and getting stepped on. Maybe you don’t like the pretentiousness of so-called “artists”. Maybe you just like hitting things. Whatever your reason, the Gruul will welcome another anarchist.

Golgari Swarm: Chaotic/Evil/Neutral

The Golgari Swarm are the first Guild where you’re really going to find a lot of diversity in alignment. Some definitely fall into the chasm of Chaotic Evil Necromancers, others stand firmly in the fields of True Neutral Rot Farmer, and some idly wander between the two. Necromancy is pretty normal in Golgari society, and “Evil” can be considered a harsh word to describe it. It’s definitely more normalized in the Undercity than it is on the surface. A lot of typically Evil behavior is like that for the Golgari, lest we forget that this society of giant bugs, necromancers, zombies, medusa, etc also run the sewage system and food stamps program for the city. That said, there are definitely Golgari with sufficient ambition/motivation to become ready-made Big Bads. What is a Lich, after all, but a wizard who says, “No, I’m too important to die!”

Izzet League: Chaotic

If there’s one predictable aspect of the Izzet, it’s that they are unpredictable. For a Guild whose founding principle is “I wonder what would happen if....”, it’s best to accept that you’ll never be Lawful. Your job, as it is, is to look at laws (nature, physics, etc) and poke at them with electrodes to see what happens. Your focus will always be on things that haven’t been written down yet, as opposed to what already has. It’s almost literally impossible to be Lawful and Izzet for that reason alone. As far as Good, Evil, and Neutral go; that’s up to the individual. This experiment could replicate food so we never have to eat Golgari rations again! Or it could replicate essential personnel to prevent understaffing! Or, it could even replicate.... ME (cue maniacal laughter).

Orzhov Syndicate: Lawful

The Orzhov, like the Azorius, draw their power and influence from the laws of Ravnica. Evil is expected, though not mandatory, but Lawful is a requirement. An Orzhov who doesn’t know their way around Ravnica’s laws is a loose end, and the Orzhov don’t allow loose ends to jeopardize their schemes & ambitions. One can absolutely be a Lawful Neutral Orzhov, also known as an Accountant, but such individuals rarely find their way into a life of adventure. A Lawful Good Orzhov can exist, but your greatest adversary will be the large majority of your Guild who sees you as a potential threat to their illicit activities. In which case, you’ll want to know those laws even better than they do.

Cult of Rakdos: Chaotic

Chaos is mandatory, evil is encouraged. By “Evil”, we mean “things people tell you are Evil”. Anything you would do while drunk you should be able to do at all times! There’s really only three rules in the Cult of Rakdos:

Rule #1, Rakdos is #1

Rule #2, JUST DO IT

Rule #3, Don’t be boring

Being Neutral breaks Rule 3, being Good breaks Rule 2 and/or 3, and being Lawful breaks all 3 rules. Which reminds me of the fourth rule:

Rule #4, NEVER break Rule #1

Truthfully, being Chaotic Good or Chaotic Neutral is perfectly fine as long as you don’t impede on someone else’s hedonism without a reason, or lack thereof. As long as you’re being free & crazy, that’s what really matters.

Selesnya Conclave: Good

As stated with Trostani, Selesnya is a pretty consistent force of Good, if nothing else. They don’t really do hate, you know? Life in the Conclave is pretty uniformly Good, so why make trouble? Why can’t everyone just be Good? In short; ‘cause they don’t wanna, none of your business, go hug a tree, and/or because fire is FUN. Lawful fits some individuals but can just get in the way for others. Neutral is pretty solid but some things must call you to act. Chaotic is if you really want to embrace being a Nature Warrior in a planet-sized cityscape. Selesnya is the Guild for goodie two-shoes, as if that’s a bad thing.

Simic Combine: Any

The Simic Combine is the one Guild that can honestly fall anywhere on the alignment chart. The Guild started out as Doctors, Naturalists, and preservers of life. Now it also operates large-scale bioengineering. You can have a Lawful Good Simic Paladin committed to preserving life and health, a True Neutral Simic Forcemage (Druid) dedicated to living a simple life bolstering plant growth, or a Chaotic Evil Simic Wizard who has decided on everyone’s behalf that flippers and gills are now mandatory. Just like science can be used for great Good, great Evil, or mundane routine, the Simic Combine can turn its experiments to any purpose, depending on the individual. And whereas the Izzet are firmly Chaotic, the Simic have the foresight to think ahead before they try an experiment. You can be anything you want in the Simic Combine, just plan it out.

#ravnica for goblins #ravnica #goblins #d&d #dnd #5e #alignment #roleplaying #dungeons and dragons #dungeons & dragons #good #evil #lawful #neutral #guilds

140 notes · View notes

makeste · 4 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 278: MOMO IN CHARGE

Previously on BnHA: Deku and Kacchan were all “SIR, THAT’S OUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SENSEI” and got really ferocious and made a very passionate attempt to blow Tomura up and it was great. It basically did nothing, but it was still great. AFO was all “COME HERE LIL BRO”, and Tomura was all “silly Sensei, you can’t just take over my mind and body just like that”, and he was very confident of this despite there really being no evidence to back it up, but okay! Gran was all “time to make the fandom mad at me” and grabbed Tomura by the collar and yelled at him about Nana a bit, and then Bakugou and Endeavor made an even MORE passionate attempt to blow up Tomura, which may or may not have done some actual damage. The chapter ended with Gigantomachia battling Mt. Lady, just kinda out of the blue, which is FINE, but she had better be all right, though!

Today on BnHA: Everyone is all “WAUGHH IT’S GIGANTOMACHIA” and running around freaking out about it. The U.A. alums all kick some ass, and pretty much everyone else not from U.A. does jack fucking shit. Mt. Lady, who I plan on naming all of my future children after, does her best to stop Machia but he keeps flinging her aside. Kamui Woods is all “here I come with Midnight to put Gigantomachia to sleep!” and is PROMPTLY FUCKING MURDERED!? by Dabi because he’s a flammable tree man, and so Midnight falls all the way to the ground and is badly injured. So then she’s all “well I better call the most competent person I can think of to fix this mess” and dials up YAOYOROZU FUCKING MOMO, who proceeds to take charge LIKE THE BOSS SHE IS, and mobilizes the rest of the kids. And honestly I have more faith in them than in any of the adults at this point, so yeah, you know what? Let’s do this.

so I am possibly a bit spoiled on this chapter because I did a “top five predictions” post earlier this week, and someone replied to that yesterday on Thursday saying that they were mostly correct. I don’t know exactly how close to the mark I was though, and in any case most of the predictions were just “so-and-so shows up, probably”, so it’s not too bad. we’ll see how it goes!

OH THANK GOD MY BABIES ARE SAFE

I mean, CLEARLY they’re all about to be in horrible danger, seeing as Jirou is about to inform them of the whole “THE BIG GUY EVERYONE WAS AFRAID ABOUT WAKING UP WOKE UP” thing, but in the meantime at least Kami and Toadette and Honenuki made it back to the group safely

also Kaminari’s use of “Jirou-Jack” here is fucking inspired and I want him to teach a class on nicknames. isn’t he the one who coined “Yaomomo” as well? this boy has a gift and it needs to be appreciated

so Jirou is all “SOMETHING REALLY BIG IS COMING”, and actually she says “INSANELY HUGE”, which if anything is still an understatement, hard as it is to believe

WOW

“A BAD GUY IS HEADING THIS WAY?? SOUNDS LIKE IT’S TIME TO ABANDON THE CHILDREN IN THE WOODS” kjlfakh okay you know what?? fine!! you weren’t even going to do anything anyway so let’s not pretend!!

holy shit it’s like Mt. Lady isn’t even there

look at those speed lines!! goddamn. I just felt this huge rush of empathy for Mt. Lady though. like can you imagine growing up with this super-destructive quirk, and managing to become a hero with it against all odds, and having to put up with the manga making fun of you all the time just because sometimes you have a tendency to DESTROY A LOT OF STUFF, but it’s not like you can help it!! but the upside has always been that when your quirk is on, you are fucking UNSTOPPABLE though. so even though it’s been a hell of a rough ride for you, it’s worth it because you’re a complete badass and the number of people who can beat you out in terms of sheer physical strength is probably in the single digits. and you’re working really hard too, and lately you’ve been moving up through the ranks and actually becoming a damn fine hero if I do say so myself (and I do), and it’s like, about time though?? like finally, finally it is all starting to come together for you. and then this snarling trashrock person suddenly comes stampeding along and you put your all into trying to stop him, and it doesn’t even do a damn thing. like, holy shit. that’s just not fucking fair and YOU DESERVE BETTER, MT. LADY

anyway so she’s still hanging in there for now though so let’s check in with our villain squad riding on his back

lmaooo they’re all “I don’t even understand what is going on here”

YOU GUYS, THIS IMPLIES THAT THEY WERE ALL PLUCKED OFF THE GROUND BY THE SCRUFFS OF THEIR NECKS AND THEY HAD ABSOLUTELY NO SAY IN THE MATTER OMG. like I’m picturing Spinner being held by his cape pinched in between Machia’s thumb and forefinger, and awkwardly trying to lecture him like a mom with his hands on his hips all, “BAD GIGANTOMACHIA! NO! NOOOUAGH -- !” and cutting off with a yelp as he’s dropped onto his back

and I am glad they got Toga some clothes! I like to think Gigantomachia grabbed those for her as well. so thoughtful

wow Skeptic actually wants to go back to Re-Destro??

color me legit impressed. I underestimated your loyalty my dude. and let me also just take this moment to extend my gratitude toward Horikoshi for leaving the rest of the MLA out of it because good fucking riddance to them, goodbye forever hopefully!!

I guess they’ll be needing Skeptic’s quirk down the line for some reason? maybe he is meant to be like a new, less out-of-control Twice. smdh y’all out here trying to replace your dead buddy like a pet goldfish

who is this “they” Dabi is referring to

do you mean the heroes? lol yeah I guess they’re pretty distracted by the literal fucking kaijuu you’re currently piggybacking on

SIGH

“the Jakku team must’ve made a mistake” BOY, I’LL SAY. you know what, don’t even talk to me about that yet. it’s still too fresh. suffice it to say that your suspicions are correct and things in Jakku are not very daijobu right about now

anyway here’s a closeup of this bubble person just cuz

they are everything and I want them to be my friend. also there’s a squid person a few paces behind them who can probably do anything a squid can do. or they might actually be a shark person, actually. I don’t know. either way I love them

GETEN PLEASE GO AWAY

WE ARE PHASING OUT THE MLA!! MOVING FORWARD IT’S ORIGINAL LOV ONLY!! I’M SORRY BUT YOU DIDN’T MAKE THE CUT. we already have an ice character so shoo

OH DAMN MY MAN CEMENTOSS HAS HAD ENOUGH OF HIS NONSENSE TOO AHHHH YESS

1) hey so Cementoss is legit terrifying who’d’ve thought

and 2), did Cementoss always have a mouthful of gigantic perfect teeth each the size of a slice of bread, or is this just something I’m only noticing now because I’m behind the curve. either way, let me just say sincerely, DKJDLKFJLSKJG

RE-DESTRO YOU GO AWAY TOO!!

@waywardfacegarden you asked the other day which are the characters I actually dislike, and this is one of them lol. he’s just a big ol’ prick, and on top of that has the audacity to not even be interesting in any way so as to balance it out. anyway so apologies to any Re-Destro stans out there but I basically spend every panel he’s in hoping that someone will punch him in the face hard enough to finally make him shut up

anyway so my man Edgeshot is here though, finally!! but of all the people for him to fight! this is a real predicament for me. the most soothing character in the series contrasted with the character who grates my nerves the most. Edgeshot’s sexy ASMR voice is gonna be drowned out by all of RD’s punching and self-important ranting in the anime and I’m lowkey devastated but I’m gonna pull myself together and read on

SPEAKING OF SELF-IMPORTANT RANTING

Edge, if you can liberate us from having to put up with his insufferable ass once and for all I will be so grateful to you. can you do this. please. for me

and it looks like some other boring MLA villains are following along behind Machia so I’m gonna need someone to kick their asses as well. please

-- YESSSSSS

okay so now I see what that comment on my prediction post was referring to lol. I did indeed have my fingers crossed that these two would show up again, and sure enough! THE GANG’S ALL HERE YAY

and Mt. Lady is being sumoed aside!

anyone want tonight’s lotto numbers. during this brief fleeting moment of having my predictions be actually credible, I would just like to say that Hagakure is the U.A. traitor. thank you and goodnight

OH NO KAMUI IS WORRIED

HE LOOKS SO PANICKED?? OUT OF THE BLUE I SHIP IT SO MUCH?? I keep forgetting they’re on the same team and stuff and wow, I need to calm down

LOL MIDNIGHT IS ALL “NO TIME FOR SHIPS!!”

I wonder if her quirk will actually be enough to take him down? this is something I’ve been itching to see for a long time, actually. just how powerful is she? we know her quirk is more effective on males than females, but is anyone actually capable of resisting it? imagine if she really did just knock Gigantomachia out after all of this buildup. that would be some god-tier shit omg, DO IT

(ETA: I am just going to assume that since Horikoshi had to go to elaborate lengths to take her out of the fight, this means that her quirk really was capable of knocking them all out. another tragic case of Too Badass For The Plot. y’all better respect Midnight.)

YESSSSSSSS

is she stripping. you know what -- don’t think about it. I won’t let you ruin this for me Horikoshi. Midnight’s gonna be a badass because the ladies are fucking ruling this arc and that’s all there is to it

NOOOOOO

DABI GET BACK HERE I JUST WANT TO TALK!!

oh thank god, she’s all right. BUT KAMUI ISN’T THOUGH DLKJSFLKSJDG??!

did Kamui Woods just... die

(ETA: okay but for real, is there an actual curse in effect on the Billboard Top Ten right now, though?? did one of them accidentally disturb the tomb of some ancient king??)

...

( ･ั﹏･ั)

oH MY GOD!?!

NOOOOOOO WHY ARE YOU SO QUICK TO SLEEP ON MAJESTIC, LET’S SEE IF THEY CAN DO IT!! GIVE US MAJESTIC GOD DAMMIT

(ETA: Horikoshi is seriously just yanking our chain at this point. when Majestic finally does show up, he or she better have the coolest fucking quirk of all time, that’s all I’m saying.)

okay how badly injured is Midnight here, though?? she just fell all that way?? DO I NEED TO BE REALLY MAD. I CAN WORK MY WAY UP TO IT PRETTY QUICKLY, JUST SAY THE WORD. I’M ALREADY HALFWAY THERE HONESTLY. WHERE’S KAMUI WOODS

!!!!!!!!!!!

AND JUST LIKE THAT MY ANGER EVAPORATES INTO THE NIGHT, YESSSSSSSSS!! MOMOOOOO

holy shit. “a quirk that can stop that thing,” she says. and goes and calls YAOYOROZU FUCKING MOMO y’all I am barely holding myself back from SCREAMING right now I...

you guys

you guys. if Midnight and Yaomomo team up to take down Gigantofuckingmachia using some sort of MOMO MADE A MACHINE TO SPREAD MIDNIGHT’S QUIRK strategy, or whatnot?? I will fucking die on the spot. you can end the manga right there. Kacchan you can keep your quirk I don’t even care

“IT MIGHT BE AGAINST THE LAW” lmaooooo insert John Mulaney “WE’RE WELL PAST THAT” gif here. holy shit. listen, that is fine. if anything it’s even better

WHAT THE FUCK

DO I NEED TO START GETTING REALLY MAD AGAIN!?!?! FUCKING WHIPLASH, IS WHAT THIS IS, BUT YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT SORT OF OVER-THE-TOP REACTION IS NEEDED HERE AND I’LL GO FOR IT

(((( ;°Д°))))

[GRABS HORIKOSHI BY THE COLLAR] listen, you. if you only just now, for the first time ever, gave us a lady hero actually mentoring another lady hero, which we have somehow NEVER HAD BEFORE in almost three hundred chapters, only for you to then KILL OFF THE MENTOR IN THE MIDDLE OF HER GODDAMN SPEECH TO THE MENTOREE, I will... there’s... I’ll... okay, listen. DON’T. THERE WILL BE A RECKONING. CAPSLOCK SUCH AS THIS WORLD HAS NEVER WITNESSED!!

ヽ(#ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ┌┛

I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO REACT TO ANYTHING IN THIS CHAPTER AND I’M LOSING MY MIND OVER IT

so the other kids are all “what the fuck” and “so Momo’s in charge??” which, YES!!! IT’S THE ONE GOOD PART ABOUT ALL THIS SO DON’T YOU DARE QUESTION IT

MOMO NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE CRIPPLED BY YOUR ANXIETY, YOU CAN DO THIS GIRL I BELIEVE IN YOU

hell, it’s not even just an “I believe in you” thing, because it’s not just belief, it’s fact. you motherfucking can do this, you are the most capable and brilliant student in 1-A, you just gotta have faith and let yourself shine!!

so now there are some more panels of Machia running and the villains and heroes fighting, blah blah blah. and Momo screwing up her face as she makes her decision...

YESSSSSSSSS

my baby girl is all grown up and TAKING THESE MOTHERFUCKIN REINS and MOMO I WILL LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU JUST SAY THE WORD!!

lol she’s all “Jirou use your ears and scientifically calculate how long it’ll take him to get here”, and Jirou is all “I can literally fucking see him, he’s gonna be on top of us in like two seconds” WELL OKAY THEN

thank god there are no adult pros left to fuck this up. is that weird that this is a real and honest and completely sincere thought that just ran through my head? like, at this point if any of the adults were around I’d just be afraid of them dying honestly. but with the kids I actually feel real hope that they’re somehow gonna do this. of course it helps that unlike the adults they’re pretty safe from being killed off

also! way to represent the entirety of class 1-B there Honenuki lulz. sorry, The Rest of Class 1-B

OH MY GOD

MT. LADY I WILL LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU AS WELL!! YOU HAVE MY LOVE AND FEALTY!!

I’M STANNING HER SO HARD I’M GONNA EXPLODE SOMEBODY HELP!?!

JIROU SAYS THAT MACHIA HAS SLOWED DOWN!! YOU GUYS I’M ABOUT TO GET “MT. LADY FOR PRESIDENT” TATTOOED ACROSS MY FOREHEAD

lmao at Shouji using his power of “putting some extra eyeballs on my arms” to inform everyone that Gigantomachia is Right Over There and Very Big

good job Shouji

oh my glob I have so much love for Momo right now that it can’t even fucking be contained. brb wildly flailing my hands around a little to try and release some of this excess excitement

maybe Momo can be president instead and Mt. Lady can be the vice president

NO THE CHAPTER IS ENDING I’M NOT READY

AND JUMP IS ON BREAK AGAIN NEXT WEEK TOO, FML!!

okay!!

Kaminari is so fucking brave right now I just want to crush him in a hug?! we know he’s still scared!! look at his eyes!! and he was freaking the hell out earlier too, and now the situation is much worse! but he doesn’t give a fuck because his friends need him! he is ready to be a hero, my little baby boy is all grown up and I’m so proud??

Mineta’s face in the bottom right corner is everything. I know, I know, boooo Mineta, but that’s still the best face anyone has made in the entirety of this manga

Tetsutetsu’s out here all “I humbly request to also represent class 1-B” and Momo is all “okay fine I guess we can have two of you guys”

can we all just stop for a moment to appreciate how KamiJirouMomo is alive and well. like, we had interactions between all three of them in this chapter, in all possible permutations? do you know how happy this makes me?? I am vibrating with joy??!

I really can’t stress this enough -- I have no clue at all what these little soda can things are (anesthetic, I guess??? you know, like how you sometimes buy cans of anesthetic at the supermarket?? what do you mean you don’t do that??), or what they’re gonna do with them. I have like negative clues. but DAMNED IF I GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK. the next chapter can be them all fucking hurling them at his face for all I care. THE DETAILS OF HOW SHE KICKS HIS ASS DO NOT MATTER!! GOOD MORNING TO YAOMOMO AND YAOMOMO ONLY!! MY MOMO ACADEMIA

432 notes · View notes

ignitedbynatsu · 4 years

Text

It’s Okay Pt. 2

Word Count: 1,3k

A/N: thank you all so much for the incredible support! There will probably be one more part after this (maybe even 2 I'm not sure yet). Also if any of you have a request don't hesitate to ask!

Warnings: swearing, betrayal, spoilers, mention of heart failure

Genre: Angst

summary: You had always cherished your friendship with Laxus above anything else, but when he came back from a job with a certain mission on his mind, you were determined to stop him. You wanted to man you love back, no, you needed to. After all, if you couldn’t stop him, who else could?

Previous ~ Next

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡

It had been years since the battle of Fairy Tail. Laxus had to leave the guild after his ordeal, a punishment he gladly took. Once Natsu and Gajeel had defeated him, he came to check on his grandfather and (Y/N). He was mortified at the state she was in. Unconscious and wrapped in bandages, wounds and bruises were shown ever so slightly from beneath the wrapped up fabric. He felt ashamed, no, those words didn’t even come close to what he was feeling. He often wondered how she was after he left, but he never dared to return. The high and mighty Laxus was afraid to look (Y/N) in the eyes.

Once (Y/N) woke up, she learned that she was lucky to be alive. If Mystogan had brought her in any time later, she wouldn’t have been here. However, she wasn’t so lucky to escape the battle without some long term injuries. She had a nasty-looking scar that ran across her upper body to forever remind her of that awful day. Not only did her body take damage on the outside, but her heart had also taken some hardship. The girl could never go full-out with her magic again because too much endeavour could cause her heart failures.

Everyone was extremely careful around her and made sure to not bring Laxus’s name up when she was nearby. (Y/N) herself, however, was unsure about how she felt. She knew she had to feel some resentment towards him, but for some reason worry always overtook that harsh feeling. She was worried about how he felt about all of this. She didn’t even want to think about the dark thoughts that could possibly cloud his mind as he thought back of that day. She wasn’t ready to forgive him yet, that she was sure of, but she also knew that she couldn’t send him away if he’d ever come to her. After all, he was still her best friend in (Y/N)’s eyes.

She held that same malice towards Freed, Bixlow and Evergreen during the first few weeks after she woke up, but she soon grew tired of it. (Y/N) was known to be a cheerful and bubbly girl. Hatred wasn’t something that she normally felt, so it took a lot out of her. She didn’t want to hold on to the past and she saw the regret in their eyes every time they apologized or spoke to her. In the eyes of the three said mages, it felt like (Y/N) was going too soft on them. After all, she had a forever lasting disability because of them. That’s why the three made a promise to one another to protect (Y/N) as they did with Laxus.

Everyone was now gathered in the guild to hear the announcement of the selected members to participate in the S-class trails. (Y/N) felt bittersweet upon hearing the names. She was glad for each and every one of them, but it was also wildly known that she was supposed to be up there. Freed wanted to retreat from the competition, but (Y/N) stopped him, after all, she knew at first hand what it was like to have that opportunity taken away from you. Freed suggested that he would take somebody else then Bixlow so she’d at least had someone to protect her in case of emergency, but (Y/N) once again stopped him. Everyone knew that those two together in a fight were basically unbeatable, so the younger mage encouraged them to team up. Something she'd soon regret.

The news of basically half of Fairy Tail disappearing on Terou Island hit the remaining guild members hard. Everyone desperately searched for them, but it was a lost cause. The news of all the strong members disappearing also spread like wildfire. Some guilds took this as an opportunity to attack the weaker guild. At first, the attacks were nothing more than threats once they learned that (Y/N) wasn’t one of the powerful mages that disappeared. Unlike the information about the missing Fairy Tail wizards, it wasn’t very known that (Y/N) was badly injured during the Battle Of Fairy Tail. However, the other guilds soon enough learned that (Y/N) wasn’t as powerful as she used to be. This didn’t stop her from protecting her family, though. “Don’t you dare hurt anymore of my friends” (Y/N) warned as she whipped the blood from her split lip, the rage was flaring in her eyes.

The men of the other guild cackled at the wounded girl in front of them, who was clearly outnumbered. Even if (Y/N) still had her full strength, she would have had a hard time dealing with these guys. One of the men stepped forward “What are you going to do about it? Fairy Tail is nothing but a joke”

(Y/N) didn’t care that she couldn’t overdo her powers, all she cared about was protecting her friends right here, right now. She summoned hundreds of blades made out of light and moved through the men swiftly as they tried to hit her. She cut down at least half of the opposing guild until she herself fell to the floor, clutching her chest and gasping for air. The men didn’t hesitate for a second to attack (Y/N). They kicked and stomped on the girl that was desperately shielding herself as much as she could.

“(Y/N)!” Romeo yelled as he successfully burned some men that were kicking the said girl, but the young mage didn’t last long as he soon was punched to the ground as well.

“Let this be a lesson, brat. Don’t interfere with grown-up stuff” The leader said as he kneeled down besides Romeo “From now on, you will be paying us to let you stay here”

With that, the guild known as Twilight Orge, left a defeated Fairy Tail to take care of their wounded members. “(Y/N)! Hey, stay awake! Don’t you dare close your eyes” It was Bisca that was quickly by her side to rest the girl's head in her lap. “Jet! Get Porlyusica, quickly!”

The speedster soon returned with the healer who scolded (Y/N) for overdoing her power “If you keep doing this, one of these days could be the end.”

“I can’t just stand on the sideline and watch my friends get hurt” (Y/N) defended her actions, but Porlyusica shot those down with just one stare “You’ll have no choice but to rely on them, at least that is if you want to keep living”

“I’d rather die fighting than see my family get hurt while I know I could do something about it” (Y/N) said, not cowering down under the icy glare of the older wizard.

Porlyusica sighed, knowing that there was no point in trying to change your mind “I prepared some injections if you were to do something so stupid again.”

That’s how seven long years past. (Y/N) standing up for her family whenever another guild decides to pick a fight with them. She always ends up getting beaten, but she’s happy knowing that she’s the one getting hurt and not her friends. It also became routine to inject (Y/N) with the medicine Porlyusica left behind after the fight. The only problem was that it was taking longer and longer for (Y/N) to wake up. That’s why everyone decided to work double as hard to protect (Y/N) like she had done for them all those years.

It was a routine for Twilight Orge to collect their money once a week, but for some reason, they wanted to collect it sooner. Everyone protested, especially Romeo.

“We don’t have any money to pay you guys,” The young wizard said “To have been tamed by punks like these… Father and everyone else except for (Y/N) are cowards. I’m going to fight! If things keep up, Fairy Tail’s name will be worthless!” Romeo started to make a fireball in his hand but it quickly got blown out by one of the messengers of Twilight Orge.

“The name became worthless long ago, no? You guys will never be above us, as long as you live!” As the guy drew his sword, (Y/N) didn’t hesitate for a second to stand in front of the younger mage to take the punch. However, it wasn’t her that was sent flying across the room. It was the messenger himself.

Everyone was flabbergasted at the sight of their old Fairy Tail members, but (Y/N) had only eyes for one wizard “Laxus”

203 notes · View notes

jakey-beefed-it · 3 years

Text

God, I need to expand on this because it was SO FUCKING COOL.

So I mentioned that Altanin died yesterday as part of a puzzle to gain access to a tomb... but that really doesn’t do any of it justice.

Quick background: Altanin is a tiefling, he was raised by human steppe nomads but never really regarded as one of them save by for his few friends and his adoptive mom. Eventually he accidentally killed his fiancee’s asshole brother (barbarian rage is a thing) in what should’ve been just a brawl, and was exiled.

Come to find out somewhat recently that the real reason he was exiled is that all the clan shamans had been having prophetic visions that a figure with horns and eyes like burning coals (which very much describes my tiefling lad) would bring ruin to their people. Some wanted to exile him right then and there, others thought it would be better to kill him, but the majority were like ‘Altanin? Kehuja’s boy? He’s big but he’s not dangerous to US, he’s a good kid.’

Until of course Altanin killed a man *by accident* just by dint of how fucking strong he is, at which point they kinda reconvened and were like ‘Ok yeah he’s dangerous to us whether he means to be or not, destiny is not to be fucked with, should probably kill him’ but Altanin’s mom, who is one of said shamans, convinced them to settle for exile.

Anyhow so we’re trying to get into the tomb of the legendary khagan who united the nomads ages and ages ago, because there’s something there that the bad guys who have invaded the steppes want and we’re determined to get it first or otherwise ensure they can’t get it, as that would likely be really bad. And there’s this full on transitional gateway that leads to... the spirit world, as far as Altanin’s concerned- a representation of the top of the holy mountain in the middle of the steppes, with carved megaliths representing the aspects of the Stormfather, the sky god who makes up half of their sort of national pantheon (the other being Earthmother). On the one side of the summit is the gateway we came through, showing the inside of the tomb. On the other side of the summit is another stone gateway, but empty. In the middle were the bad guys’ elite soldiers who were trying to puzzle out how to open the other gate.

There was a huge fight (where Altanin literally grabbed an enemy tiefling by the horns and yeeted him off the top of the mountain), and after we won, and dealt with a malevolent ghost possessing our rogue, Altanin went around to the megaliths and did the gestures or whatever they required to ‘activate’ them. In the process he took a fuckton of damage and a level of exhaustion, and had to cast aside all his gear before coming to the final pillar. The carvings indicated that the thing to do in order to proceed... was to die, as every storm must.

Now, Altanin isn’t fearless as such, just perfectly willing to fight and die for strangers, much less his own people. But he is a bit conflicted- his people are the ones who cast him out, after all. Other people elsewhere in the world- particularly orks generally and the mostly human city where he settled for a while -think very well of him and welcome him and even love him. He’d die for any of them without hesitation. But that’s not what’s being asked of him. So here he is, on an echo of the holy mountain of his people, and to go forward and unlock the tomb of their legendary hero-founder, he has to die for them.

Altanin looks back at his friends one last time, and gives them a sad, slightly wry smile. He then channels all the energy he’d gathered from the other megaliths into his fist and punches himself square in the face. A lightning blast the size of which no one in the party has ever seen flashes down, and he drops dead.

Altanin, now basically a ghost, sees that the other door is open after all (to him anyhow, now that he’s dead). While his friends try frantically and unsuccessfully to raise him, he proceeds into the final chambers of the tomb.

There he finds it guarded by countless mummies... of tieflings. Who proceed to tell him that the legendary khagan... was an evil sorcerer who manipulated the steppe nomads into serving him to escape the fate of the other evil sorcerers to the east (who were killed in a huge epic war with most of the rest of the world like several thousand years ago). And these tiefling mummies are there to guard his remains, and ensure that they can never again be free from his sarcophagus prison. They were the first of the steppe nomads, these tieflings, Altanin’s ancestors. They were the ones who served the khagan the most loyally, and so it is their duty to ensure he never returns. Over time, the legends changed such that the khagan himself was remembered heroically but the tieflings were cast as accursed, leading to Altanin’s less than warm welcome among most of the nomads apart from the ones who knew him well.

So he realizes that he really is one of them, one of the nomads, not just by the way he was raised by also by ancestry... but to learn the truth of things would break the spirit of his people, even if they believed him. And so he must keep this secret from all but his companions- both that the khagan was a wicked tyrant, and also that he, Altanin, is truly one of the people by blood and bond both. The best news of his life... but he can’t really share it with the people who would treat him differently if they knew.

The guardian mummies guided him to four legendary (and, they warned, cursed) treasures that had been buried with the khagan. Well, three- one of them had already been removed ages ago and found its way to Altanin’s hand previously- this is Ravener; his magic longsword forged by Stormfather. They led him to see the sarcophagus of the khagan, where Altanin agreed he must remain for eternity and promised the guardians he would keep the details secret to protect the resting place. Walking out the door he was returned to bodily form (his corpse vanishing in another flash of lightning), passed out the rest of the loot to the party.

Anyhow it was a Big Dramatic session that was kind of the culmination of a whole lot of good emotional plot stuff for my boy, and I am SUPER PUMPED to keep goin’ with Altanin.

#Jake plays Dungeons and Dragons #Jake's dumb characters #Altanin the Unbreakable

32 notes · View notes

savior-of-humanity · 3 years

Text

OKAY here are my Thoughts(tm) about The Ancient Gods part II

ALSO: MASSIVE FUCKING SPOILER WARNING FOR THE ANCIENT GODS PART 1 + 2. BE WARNED THIS IS LONG AS FUCK. TL;DR AT BOTTOM.

In terms of the gameplay: I really liked how it played! The combat encounters weren’t downright vicious like in the first DLC, but they still go out of their way to mix things up (i.e a hallway filled with explosive barrels + blood punch pick-ups + Pinkies, or the double-Marauder encounter that you could ACCIDENTALLY FUCKING BUFF JESUS CHRIST) so it was still fun all around.

The new enemies added - the Cyber-Baron/Armored Baron, Riot Zombie/Chaingunner, Screecher Zombie, Stone Imp, and Cursed Prowler - are...okay. I like the idea of new enemy variants based off pre-existing ones but they felt either really fucking frustrating to fight (particularly the Cursed Prowler and Chaingunner) or were very “simple”, I guess. The Stone Imps, in particular, are a variant of Imp that are very resistant to damage unless you use the full-auto mod for the shotgun, in which they drop even more shotgun ammo if they’re killed by that. Other than that they do a Sonic-style spin-dash and slam into you, which can actually knock you off a ledge. Screecher Zombies are basically just mobile hazards that if you accidentally hit, will act like temporary Buff Totems. Cursed Prowler is fucking awful: basically, if it hits you with a projectile, you’ll be cursed with a debuff that keeps you from double-jumping and dashing that also drains your health over time, and you HAVE to kill it with a blood punch in order to remove the curse. Chaingunners are basically just the Shield Zombie Soldiers, but they shoot faster and have an indestructable shield. And finally, the Cyber-Baron: It’s basically a Baron of Hell, but with indestructable armor that can only be destroyed by shooting it’s mace when it flashes green, or by shooting it with plasma. After the armor is gone you have to kill it as fast as you can before the armor is regenerated, repeat until it dies.

Summoner Ghosts and Blood Maykrs also make a return, which is cool.

The Hammer is cool to say the least. I was hoping to see some glory kills with it but considering that it’s primary use is to either clear out groups of small enemies or to stun larger ones like Barons, it makes sense that they’d omit glory kills from it. On top of that, Marauders now have a mechanic (for the entire game, not just the DLC) where when you shoot them as they flash green, they’ll become stunned (though the sound effects are rather corny and cartoonish, even for the game). Using the Hammer on a stunned Marauder will GREATLY extend that stun, which allows you to just fucking shit on them.

I also really liked the grapple-Hookshot points that you had to use to progress in a level. I’m still not really used to how you’re supposed to move in the opposite direction of the point to swing yourself, but the idea is intuitive, fun, and makes me wish it was in the base game and the previous DLC.

My biggest grievances with this DLC, however, is how it handled some of it’s characters, the story, and the new lore that was implemented in the codexes.

So first off: I want to say that while I still appreciate the DLC, that’s honestly only with the gameplay. The story, much less the lore, is fucking stupid to say the least.

To TL;DR the story: It is, quite honestly, bare-bones as fuck. We continue from where we directly left off from the Ancient Gods Part 1: Davoth/The Dark Lord is being summoned into existence and into his physical form, which for some reason looks exactly like Doomguy except with sick tats, glowing red eyes, and a weird implant in his chest. Doomguy, naturally, tries to spawncamp him and shoots him with his super-shotgun, but nothing happens as “no blood can be spilled in this holy place”. Davoth leaves, telling Doomguy that he’ll be waiting for him in the city of Immora, the capitol city at the very center of Hell.

Doomguy goes to Argent D’Nur. He murder-death-kills shit, as per usual. He goes into this big castle where a hologram of Valen is waiting for him. He tells him that he atones for his sins and gives him the Hammer since Doomguy lifted the curse from his son’s soul. He goes to the Torch of Kings and lights it, marking his journey to the giant crystalline spear that impales Argent D’Nur known as the World Spear. Cue cutscene of a bunch of different Argenta people/Night Sentinel seeing the light of the Torch of Kings from all over Argent D’Nur. Internguy tells him that it’s a day’s walk still from the World Spear, and conveniently a very fucking awesome looking Argenta dragon shows up and gives him a ride to the World Spear.

Doomguy gets to a lake that separates him from the World Spear. The Father says “He is worthy” and then a bridge rises out of the water. Doomguy crosses past some big ass Sentinel ghosts/guardians and into the World Spear. Turns out the inside of the World Spear is like some giant, fucked up ship made out of crystal, with weird figures lining the wall and all that: Internguy even says “This isn’t a crystal at all, this is a ship!” This does not get expanded upon whatsoever in neither dialogue or codexes. Doomguy grabs Convenient Power Crystal and leaves.

Doomguy arrives on Earth through a portal, which is looking substantially better than since its invasion. Internguy tells him that a Convenient Ancient Portal close by is the only way to Immora. Doomguy kills shit, arrives at portal, activates it with Convenient Power Crystal, and leaves.

Doomguy arrives in front of a giant wall surrounding Immora. Davoth walks out, wearing a big ass power suit that looks like something straight out of Warhammer 40k. He’s surrounded by guards in cool red armor with cool spears that look very humanoid. He says some shit and a bunch of Hell-ships and demons and titans start showing up. But then surprise! A bunch of portals open up on Doomguy’s side like it’s fucking Infinity War/Endgame all over again and a fuckload of Sentinels start coming out, with mechs and dragons and spaceships. Valen is there. Doomguy and Valen stare at each other for like 5 seconds before Valen says “Let Hell tremble before our might!” or some shit like that. Doomguy fights, gets past the wall, fights some more inside the city. Again, the usual.

I also want to briefly point out that Immora is basically just a Maykr city but red, and that it’s apparently “Hell’s own technology.” Also, the red dudes in armor are actual enemies but the guns they have (the hell-razor from 2016) do piss-poor damage and they die if you so much as breathe on them.

Doomguy finally catches up to Davoth. Davoth monologues about how he’s going to get his revenge and that it’s inevitable, bla bla bla. Fight begins. It’s basically Marauder 2.0 but if he hits you and/or you shoot him at the wrong time he heals a fuckload of health. And also 5 different health bars. After you knock down 2 or 3 of his bars he stops the fight to monologue for some fucking reason? And then shits out a plot twist that surprise, he’s actually the real God, and that the Father betrayed/usurped his power, and that he will “unmake everything by his hand.” Fight resumes. Doomguy eventually beats him. Davoth asks him if he has anything to say before he strikes down his creator. Doomguy takes off his helmet, stabs Davoth in the heart, and says no in his stupid sexy voice. Davoth dies, his life-sphere emerges and then explodes. Doomguy suddenly becomes weak and falls over. The Father says “He created everything in his image, even you.” Doomguy passes out and wakes up to see 3 Seraphim seal him in a sarcophagus like the one from 2016. Fade to black, with the quote “May the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.” End game, roll credits.

If you hadn’t read any of the codexes while playing the DLC, the story probably makes little to no sense to you whatsoever. But honestly the codexes don’t expand upon things much and, if anything, just fucking make some aspects of the story even more stupid.

The World Spear is implied in the codex that it contains live Wraiths (“A live Wraith has not been seen in centuries, but rumors persist that some yet remain inside the World Spear itself.”), and while the figures in the World Spear could be Wraiths, absolutely nothing is said about them out of three Codexes related to the level, which honestly just makes me wonder the point of adding this stuff if you don’t even give a single sentence of why the interior of the World Spear is Like That.

The codex entries related to Earth are basically uninteresting as they’re pretty much just “humanity is rebuilding and views doomguy as a hero”. There is one about the Convenient Ancient Portal (Gate of Divum) but all it really says is that it was built and used by the Father to access Immora. Nothing about why it’s on Earth, or anything interesting like that.

However, the real bullshit comes in when we start to look at the codex entries related to Immora and Davoth.

So, Immora is the central - and oldest - city in Hell. It’s described as such: “Once a paradise at the dawn of creation, Immora now survives as a stronghold where the Dark Lord resides. Sustained now by the essence of Hell's victims, the people of Immora experience life eternal. Regular infusions of Hell energy have prevented them from transforming into the demons found outside the boundaries of the city. Ancient technology defends Immora from invaders, the high walls impenetrable to those who would bring harm to the last people of the first world.“

Yeah. So not only did Hell have high-tech technology all this time, but also the red guys in armor? Those are Immorans. Which is weird to me, because if Hell had this super advanced technology that’s also ancient, and thus around for a long time, why the hell are we only seeing it now?

Also, surprise! Turns out the Book of Seraphs is a complete fucking lie according to the very first codex entry related to Davoth! (”Our research shows that Maykr history and lore holds truths that are not consistent with passages found in the Hell Priest texts, revealing the true origins of Hell and all surrounding dimensions. This revelation would explain why Hell is the single dimension that connects to all others, and why it is the oldest in existence - the first world.”)

The real truth is that Davoth is the real Creator/God, and that Jekkad was the very first realm, not Urdak. He still sought immortality for his people, so he created the Maykrs to figure it out for him. They did, but decided it would be too dangerous to give Davoth that information, so they basically said “fuck you” and sealed Jekkad/Davoth while re-writing their own records to hide the truth. Obviously, this pissed off Davoth. So much so that he basically became super angry and emo and became the Dark Lord from all the vengeance and hatred (which also turned Jekkad into Hell.)

Another surprise! Turns out that Davoth had a hand in the creation of the fucking Doom Slayer! Because he wanted to get revenge against the Maykrs, he started to manipulate a bunch of people while he was trapped as a life sphere I guess. He started with the Khan Maykr, convincing her that there was a “chosen one” who would threaten her rule and thus making her paranoid as fuck. He then guided her into creating the Divinity Machine using a fragment of himself that had been sealed in Urdak. Then he manipulated Samur, by convincing him that “the Khan Maykr will lead us all to ruin.” He was then controlled and compelled to release a stranger from his prison (Doomguy) and empower him using the Divinity Machine.

As you can probably guess, he got his revenge since Doomguy would go on to utterly fuck Urdak/the Khan Maykr (as well as Samur), and ever since he knew that his “Beast” would come for him.

Listen. I don’t really mind the idea of Doomguy being used or even manipulated by different godly powers. Or even Davoth being the real God or whatever. But this new lore and story just feels... really sloppy and poorly executed, especially since it directly conflicts with the fucking base game. If he manipulated the Khan Maykr and wanted revenge against her, then why did he scream “NOOOOOO!” when Doomguy killed her?

And, if anything: Why the fuck does Davoth even look like Doomguy in the first place? Is it some form of mockery? Or did id just decide to fucking retcon the Doom Slayer being the same person as the Doomguy from Doom 1/2 with the Father’s line of “He created everything in his image -- even you.”

And, on top of that, the DLC just left more open questions than answers: what the fuck happened to Samur, since he isn’t even so much as mentioned beyond the codexes? Who is the Wretch, the being who had supposedly forged Doomguy’s armor back in 2016? What is the fate of Earth/Hell/Urdak/Argent D’Nur after the Slayer’s victory? What the fuck happened to the Demonic Crucible, the one from 2016? What about the ARC Carrier and the Fortress of Doom?

Finally, Valen, Internguy and the Father should’ve been far more involved in the story beyond just being either convenient voices telling you convenient stuff or (in the case of Valen) being a convenient guy to give you convenient weapon that also conveniently shows up with a giant army that doesn’t actually do anything but look cool in the skybox.

TL;DR The new lore and story of the DLC is basically garbage, and since I highly doubt id will change it I’m going to completely disregard it, write my own, and also take up Davoth as a muse because it seriously pissed me off that much.

#doom spoilers #doom eternal spoilers #the ancient gods spoilers #the ancient gods part 2 #tag part 2 #ooc #wow. um. this got long #doomguy #doom guy #doomslayer #doom slayer #the dark lord #davoth #doom eternal

22 notes · View notes

sanders-sides-drabbles · 4 years

Text

Roll For It

AU: @tscampfireau Warnings: mild swearing, some bees, a dragon, and in-game death Word Count: 1,500+

Each players character:

Virgil: Chatter, a Kenku Druid Roman: Sehso, a Kobold Sorcerer Remus: Dog, a Changeling Necromancer Patton: Rollyre, a Tiefling Rogue Logan: Koba, a Satyr Bard Dee: their aggravated Dungeon Master

Dee had his head in his hands. “You all are walking down a path in the woods. Roll.”

17, 19, 16, 13, and 2.

Logan laughed nervously and watched as Dee looked over his characters sheet. “Koba trips on a root in the path and falls backwards. Something shatters in her bag.”

“Oh no,” Logan whispered before looking around. “I try to discard my bag and run.”

“Roll.”

Virgil looked at the d20 and began to laugh. “6.”

“Koba manages to get the bag off after some struggle. However, due to her twisted ankle, she cannot get away as fast as the others. Bees sting her and she screams quite loud. There are noises from beyond the trees. Roll for stealth.” Dee adjusts the papers in front of him, changing the music on his phone from peaceful to a suspenseful.

They all passed, bar Roman.

“Sehso’s tail is visible from behind the tree he hid behind. The EdgeWood Cultists shoot him with a dart and he goes unconscious. What do you do?”

“How dare they shoot my tail,” Roman grumbles to himself, frowning and looking at the others.

Logan raised his hand slightly. “Question. Why do we all occupy a 5 by 5 foot square? How far apart do you think we should be?”

Dee turned to Remus before nodding. “Dog moves closer to Koba.”

Remus fixed his gaze on Logan, smiling evilly. “That’s a bold statement from someone within stabbing distance.”

A soft chuckle came from the DM, who repeated his earlier question. “What do you do?”

“Fight them!” Remus yells, causing Logan and Patton to start chanting to fight.

“Virgil?”

Virgil smiled deviously, bouncing in their seat. “I search around for their lair.”

Dee nodded, “All of you, except Roman, need to roll.”

They all passed.

“Dog, Rollyre, and Koba all begin to fight the remaining cultists. Six of them managed to take Sehso deeper into the woods. Chatter slips away from the fight and begins to search the woods. They find a building.” He adjusts their small characters on the table.

“I wanna shoot someone with my bow.”

“Dog just fucking turns into a cultist, too.”

Virgil slid the Jirt Dar, which had been in their lap, across the table. Remus sticks his hand in the Jirt Dar, having to keep it there for the entire turn.

“Hnng I wanna bite someone.”

With a sigh, Dee gestures to the dice.

Patton doesn’t succeed.

“Dog turns into a cultist and makes the 4 cultists confused. Koba jumps forward and bites one of the cultists. Roll for damage. Rollyre shoots the bow and misses, hitting the ground.”

“I got a 14.”

“Okay so total damage dealt is 17. The cultist has 32 health left. What do you do now?”

“I summon a snake to bite one of the cultists.” Remus slides the Jirt Dar back to Virgil, who puts it back in their lap.

“I wanna shank the one I’m attached to.”

“Can I try my bow again?”

“Roll. In the meantime, Virgil. How do you get in the building?”

“I search for a door or window.”

“Roll for perception.”

“18.”

“You find an unlocked door. Upon entering, its a basic house but there’s blood on the walls. Back to the fight. What did you three get?”

“14.”

“12.”

“15.”

“Dog summons a snake and it bites one of the cultists. Koba kicks the cultist she had been biting in the groin. Rollyre manages to get his bow to work and shoots one of the cultists. Roll for damage.”

“11.”

“13.”

Patton smiles wide, poking Virgil, who begins to laugh upon seeing the dice. “I got 20.”

“Okay so 2 of the cultists are now dead and the third lost a quarter of his health and is now poisoned. What do you guys want to do?”

“Pet my new snake.”

“Can I bite the guy that’s poisoned?”

Patton gently punched Logan from across the table. “That’s gonna get you poisoned!”

“Oh shit, right. I kick him instead.” Logan reaches over and takes the Jirt Dar, sticking his hand in it.

Dee rolls his eyes and looks at Patton.

“Loot the body of the guy I killed.”

They rolled. 19, 7, and 18.

“The undead snake wraps around Dog’s arm and falls asleep. It is content despite the fighting. Koba attempts to kick the guy but her ankle already sustained enough pressure from the last kick and the fall earlier. Roll for damage resistance. Rollyre finds a dagger on the body of the cultist. It looks almost new, as though it was special and wasn’t meant to be used.” The music switches to another suspenseful song.

Virgil clicks their dice together in their hands.

“What does Chatter do?”

“They look around for some treasure and,” they rolled the dice, getting a 19. “I got 19.”

“Chatter finds a treasure chest hidden underneath the stairs.”

“Can I check it for traps?”

“Roll for performance.”

The dice clatters against the table. “17.”

“You whistle quietly as you start tapping, poking, and examining the sides of the chest. It’s a catchy tune you picked up from the bard a few days ago.”

Virgil looked over to Logan. “Ooh, thanks Logan!” They got a thumbs up in response before Logan slid the Jirt Dar back over. “But what about the chest?”

“The chest starts humming along.” Dee turned back to the three fighting, feeling slightly bad for making Virgil pale as much as they did. “What do you all want to do now?”

“I wanna punch the guy with my snake hand!”

“Hit them with my bag.”

“I’m gonna stab the guy with the new dagger.”

5, 2, and 19.

“Dog misses by 2 feet. Koba goes to grab her bag before realizing it’s about 50 feet away on the trail, still being swarmed with bees. Rollyre stabs the guy with the dagger, it begins to glow and sing.”

He tapped his phone, it began to play “Mmm whatcha say~” at full volume before going back to the suspenseful music.

After a moment of silence, they all began to laugh at the absurdity of the sudden singing knife. It took a little for them to calm down before they could continue the game.

“Okay, there’s one guy left. What do you all do?”

“Can I tie him up?”

“I’m gonna steal some of the fabric from the guy I killed to wrap my ankle.”

“I’m gonna loot the other bodies.”

Remus cackled as he rolled a 20. Logan got a 17 and Patton got a 14.

“Dog ties the last cultist up to make sure he can’t escape. Koba rips some fabric and wraps her leg to help keep it steady. Rollyre finds a med kit and two bags of gems.”

Patton mimics his characters voice. “Where did the others take our friend?”

Dee cleared his throat, adding a snobbish tone to his voice. “I’ll die before I tell you.”

Patton looked at Remus “Alright.” He looked back to Dee, going out of character. “I slice open his neck with the singing dagger.”

“You slice open the cultists neck. He bleeds out quickly.” Dee played the song file again before turning to look between them.

“Hey, Dog, bring him back.”

“As you wish.” Remus went out of character as well. “I cast a Spell of Reanimation or whatever its called. I bring him back to life.”

“Roll.”

“18.”

“The guy is alive once more. He’s very pale and looks afraid.”

Patton went back into the character. “So, you said about dying first?”

Dee waved at Virgil, making them slide over the Jirt Dar, before he also was back into the character. “What in the unholy hell is wrong with you people?” He shoved his hand into the dirt.

Virgil giggles slightly, its muffled and some of their dice is gone. After a pointed glance from their brother, they spit out their d20.

“Roman, you awaken while being carried. You’re tied up and have no way to get out. The cultists throw you to the ground along with some gold. One of them says, ‘Oh, greatest of beasts, we offer you a Kobold and our most recently gotten gold. Please accept our offering.”

“Shit, man, you’re dead.” Logan shook his head and shrugged. The Jirt Dar was slid over to Logan, who then put his hand into it again. “Good job. Sorry, Sehso, but you’re gone. May the bees in the afterlife be as friendly to you as they were in life.”

“The bees are what killed me.” He glared at his best friend, pouting slightly. After a moment, he turned to Dee. “Can I roll for persuasion?”

“Go ahead.”

The dice clatters before landing on a 18. He deepens his voice for Sehso. “I have brought you this gold and six cultists as tribute to your greatness.”

Dee stifles a laugh before getting a gravelly voice. “I like you. Duck.”

“I duck?”

“The dragon incinerates the cultists before using a clawed hand to take the gold, cutting you free in the process. He flies away.”

“I thought I was gonna die!” Roman laughs and fistpumps, smiling to himself.

“I think we all thought you were gonna die, too.” Remus elbows him in the ribs, laughing along, too.

The clock chimed, making Dee look up. “Well, the three hours is up. We can continue another night.”

The others groaned but they still were smiling, the game would continue soon.

#sanders sides #sanders sides au #campfire au

126 notes · View notes

glass-es-say · 4 years

Text

Are Ya Winning, Gos?

“Just don’t get hit by rocks this time, okay?”

“Gee, I never would’ve thought of that.”

“I know,” Gosalyn says solemnly. “That’s why you keep getting anvils and junk dropped on you. We really need to get you a helmet.”

Gosalyn tries to teach Drake how to play Legend of Legends Quest.

Here on Ao3

“Uhg, are you kidding me!”

Drake blinks and looks away from patching his costume back together—again. He’d had no idea how many buttons Darkwing should’ve lost when he’d watched the show as a kid. He’s already had to put in a bulk order for them.

“Ahh!” Gosalyn drops her game in her lap and scrubs her hands over her face.

“Having fun?”

Gosalyn glares at him then slouches somehow further down into the couch. Drake makes a mental note to include some more stretches in their training routine. “I’m trying to level up my character so I can play with Launchpad and one of the Dewey’s brothers whose character is super OP but this stupid Routerrock monster just! Keeps! Killing me!”

Huh. He can honestly say he hadn’t been expecting that. “Sounds annoying.” He frowns. “They want you to level up before you can join them?”

“No, uhg, they’re both super nice about it obviously but I haven’t really had time to play since before—you know. And I don’t want to be carried!” She punches the back cushion of the couch. “I want to kill stuff myself!”

“Just what every superhero wants to hear from his sidekick,” he responds wryly, standing up and wandering over to where she’s sprawled across the couch.

Gosalyn sits up just enough to roll her eyes at him. “It’s video game, you—uhg, whatever, you probably have no idea what I’m talking about.”

“Oh?” he asks mildly, leaning his arms on the back of the couch and looking down at her. “You sure?”

“I mean, it’s—whatever, you don’t have to pretend to care, um, but. Basically, I’m trying to beat this big rock monster so my character can get stronger but there’s like, this trick to it that I just haven’t figured out yet. And it’s frustrating me. That’s all.”

“Sounds tough,” Drake says. “You must really enjoy playing to keep going after something so frustrating.”

She shrugs, looking away from him and down at the couch cushions. “I mean, it’s fun still, so.”

“Must be. Cool graphics, too. I like that ridiculously huge sword you’ve got.”

Gosalyn snorts. “Thanks. It was a quest reward.” She’s still pointedly not looking at him when she quietly says, “Do you—um, do you want to play?”

Drake blinks. “Really?”

“Well,” she starts, louder and brasher and attempting at blasé, “I’ve already died to this guy so many times not even you could screw up my character’s stats more, so.”

Drake rolls his eyes. “How reassuring.”

“But yeah, I mean. If you wanted to. I don’t mind.”

“Sure, okay,” Drake says, hurdling the couch and landing on the cushion next to Gosalyn. “Sounds like fun.”

She gives him a particular smile he’s been seeing more and more often as they get used to being around each other and he and Launchpad get to know her. It makes something warm and happy squeeze at his heart—he’s beginning to think he’d do pretty much anything to see her smile like that.

“Okay, so this is how you move around and stuff.” She makes her character spin around in a tight circle. “And these are the block and attack buttons. You can get the menu with this one, but please don’t use all my items or I’ll be very, very sad.”

“So you’re saying I should definitely use all those glowing potion things right now.”

“No!” She pushes at him. “God, you’re so annoying.”

Drake laughs and takes the controller from her. “Alright, alright, I promise not to touch them.”

She huffs and throws herself back on the couch then immediately leans back up again. “I’m out of PvP mode right now so if anyone else shows up you can just, like, ignore them. Do not chat with anyone, I—you know what, I’ll just disable that too.” She takes the controller back and navigates through the menu to toggle the chat function off.

“The amount of trust here is heartwarming,” Drake deadpans.

Gosalyn tabs down a few more rows and hesitates, then says, “I’m gonna set the camera on auto too, that’s probably a bit beyond you right now.” She clicks around, then hands the controller back over. “Okay! All set for what I’m sure is going to be a very entertaining fight.”

“Trust and confidence. I’m so touched.”

Gosalyn has left her character in a dark, narrow stone hallway. A line of torches dots the walls, dragging the player’s attention toward the glowing block of light at the end of the hall.

“So,” he asks. “Where am I going?

Gosalyn lets out a long breath. “Oh my god,” she mutters to herself. Drake makes a heroic effort and stops himself from laughing. “Okay, just keep going down the hallway. No—that’s the wrong way. Toward the light, Drake, please. This is already so painful.”

Drake does not snicker. He simply walks the character forward to the light and triggers the loading screen for the next area.

“Okay, so,” Gosalyn says as the shape of a large stone chamber renders onscreen. “There’s gonna be this big rock monster in this room—that’s who you’re fighting. He doesn’t have any minions so you can literally just focus on him and try not to get crushed.” She tilts her head. “I hope you’re better at that than you are in real life.”

“Are the continued insults really necessary?”

“Yes. Okay, see him? That’s the guy. Don’t let him—”

A giant rock fist crushes him immediately. It isn’t exactly what Drake had in mind when Gosalyn asked him if he wanted to play. He huffs.

Gosalyn hisses in sympathy. “See that—that’s not what I meant by don’t get crushed.”

Drake levels her with a glare. “I kind of gathered that, thank you.”

He taps through the character respawn loading page until it drops them back in the corridor before the monster.

“Oh, yeah, try again. Just don’t get hit by rocks this time, okay?”

“Gee, I never would’ve thought of that.”

“I know,” Gosalyn says. “That’s why you keep getting anvils and junk dropped on you.”

“That was one—that was tw—that doesn’t happen to me that often!”

“Oh, it super does,” she nods solemnly. “We really need to get you a helmet.”

“Now she’s all about helmets,” he says, moving the character forward into the battle area again. This time he darts away from the monster a couple times—but within a minute the character gets hit by not one, but two giant rock fists and the death screen pops back up.

“Yikes,” Gosalyn says. “This is just getting a little sad, actually, so maybe you can stop—"

“Wait,” Drake says, navigating his way back to the starting point. “Let me try one last time.”

“Uh, sure,” Gosalyn says. “But please don’t break my controller when you die again.”

“I won’t!” Die or break the controller, hopefully. “Look, I’ll make a bet with you. If I can beat this guy, you have to start helping me sew the buttons back on my costume.”

“And when you can’t?”

He makes a show of sighing. “We’ll get Hamburger Hippo for dinner tonight.”

She just looks at him, eyes narrowed.

“What?”

“I’m trying to decide if it would be unheroic to let you make a bet you can’t possibly win.” She squints. “Eh, I want Hamburger Hippo more than I care about that. You’re on.”

Drake restarts the character and runs forward to the boss area. Right. No item run with a mid-level character that isn’t his. Now that he’s got a handle on Gosalyn’s specific build a single Routerrock won’t pose too much of a problem. He won’t hit speed-run times, but that’s just fine.

His heart beats quickly in his chest. The payoff for pulling this off is going to be so good.

Gosalyn shifts beside him. “You know, this is kind of a hard boss so you don’t need to like, feel bad if you can’t beat it or anything. I mean, I haven’t quite managed it yet—”

The room loads and Drake immediately scales the wall. Gosalyn stills beside him.

Three minutes later and the monster is dead, stone figure dissolving away into pixels. Gosalyn’s character punches the air and starts counting up new XP.

“What.”

Drake finally lets his grin break through. “Probably would’ve been faster with those power ups you’ve got banked, but eh. Your ranged damage is actually pretty good, though, how come you haven’t tried sniping it while dodging out of its melee distance?”

“Buh—Because that’s no fun,” she says distantly. “Wait—what just happened!?”

Gosalyn’s staring between him and the game with a flat look of shock. Drake sets the controller back in her lap and leans back. “I’m a nerdy kid from the ‘90s, Gos. I’ve put more hours into Legend of Legends Quest than you’ve been alive.” He stands and stretches his arms above him. “Hope you’re excited to start sewing buttons.”

“You tricked me!” She cries, vaulting off the couch and throwing herself at his upper back. It knocks the wind out of him and they both go tumbling to the floor.

Drake groans into the rug. Ow. At least Gosalyn had something to cushion her fall.

“You Legend Quest sharked me! Liar!”

Drake wheezes face down onto the floor. “Oh my god, Gos, I’m not LP you can’t just —”

“Stop whining, you’re fine,” she says, but she jumps off of his back and scurries around to kneel by his head instead. “Or you will be until it gets out that Darkwing Duck himself is a scam artist. A con man. A frivolous fraud who lies to innocent children—”

Drake sits up with a groan, rotating his shoulder. “You really want that burger, huh.”

She sniffs. “What I want is for my hero to be a good role model. And yet,” she sighs dramatically, “I am let down. Literally.”

“Again,” Drake says, “I am neither LP nor a climbing wall.”

Gosalyn rolls her eyes and drops down to sit beside him. She doesn’t look at him, just bites her lip and fiddles with the string of her sweatshirt. Drake rubs shoulder and watches her with growing curiosity.

“Uh, you know, there’s a local multiplayer now,” she half-mumbles to the floor. “If you wanted to play again, or whatever.”

Drake swallows around the warmth spreading through his chest. “Would you—do you want to?”

Gosalyn gives a kind of half-shrug. “You know. It could be fun.”

He can’t help the stupid smile that spreads across his face. “I’d like that a lot,” he says, rolling to his feet and reaching down to help Gosalyn back upright. “Let me get my account code so I can log in as my main.”

She gasps and punches his arm. “You have a main? You know what main means? You are such a cheater!” She shakes her head with mock solemnity. “You’re a terrible influence on a growing young mind.”

Drake chuckles and rubs his arm. “Alright, we’ll get Hamburger Hippo. But only tonight! And you still have to help me resew buttons.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “Do you know how to get the Lightning Longbow?”

“Yeah?”

“Alright. Deal accepted.”

"...Your character is basically just Darkwing."

"I don't know why you're in any way surprised."

“God, you’re the lamest superhero ever. Even Gizmoduck is cooler.”

“Hey!”

Friend request received from GosaWin

Friend request accepted

#yes i don't write fic for a year yes i come back with ducktales family bonding #i just love them #ducktales #darkwing duck #drake mallard #gosalyn mallard #this one's mine kids

71 notes · View notes

flowesona · 4 years

Text

The Tower - Yandere! Seokjin x reader

The Tarot Series

“Well, this interval was a 4th but you said it was augmented when it was perfect…” (Y/N) was so tempted to close her eyes as her student tutor rattled on about how she’d done on their latest practice paper. Kim Seokjin was an entertaining person, sure, but not when he was talking about transposition and other boring exam questions that she’d rather die than take seriously.

“Are you even listening?” She snapped to attention as he scolded her. “I’m giving up my time to prevent you from failing, the least you can do is try!”

“Sorry, Jin.” She glanced at the clock, seeing the hand having just crept past the hour. “I have to go. I’ll see you next week?”

“See you then.” Jin called after her as she hurried out the door, before letting out a sigh of frustration. Why did she not appreciate his time, his presence the same way he treasured her attention?

When she’d first enlisted the help of a tutor, he’d nearly tripped over himself rushing to fill the role before some other player could take what he’d longed for. But as soon as she started improving with his help, he realised his days with her were numbered, and he couldn’t let that happen. Slowly but surely, he started feeding her the wrong answers, triumphing as her test grades plummeted. However, the fall of her grades also affected (Y/N)’s pride, to the point she was near giving up.

It was difficult to balance it, but Jin was doing his very best. He just needed the time and diligence to make her fall for him, so she would appreciate him when he finally lifted her out of the gutter.

Jin just wanted her sole attention. But that prize was being fought after, hard.

*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*

As (Y/N) wove her way through the hordes of students to get to the library, she found herself colliding into someone’s back in her absence of concentration.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry…” (Y/N) started to say as he turned to face her. Namjoon only offered her a kind smile.

“(Y/N)! Were you going to study too?” Namjoon's warmth relaxed her as she nodded. He was a friend of Jin’s, she could trust him. Besides, they shared a class or two, and knew each other somewhat well enough to keep each other company. Company she very well needed, with exams approaching and Jin not always available to help.

“For the theory paper, yeah.” (Y/N) replied.

“Hey, me too! We can compare answers! You’ve got the 2017 paper right?” She nodded, as Namjoon eagerly grabbed her hand and dragged her to find a table near the back of the library, so they could speak in hushed whispers without being sternly reprimanded by the librarian.

“No, no. That’s tenor clef, not alto clef. Jeez, no wonder you’re failing when the key’s completely wrong!” Namjoon scolded lightheartedly. (Y/N) tried to nod and move on, to not let it affect her, but she was certain that she’d been right. She’d gone over it with Jin last week, and he’d told her she was right. So why wasn’t she?

“Jin’s tutoring you, right?” Her head jerked up, spooked at how he basically read her mind.

“Yeah.”

“Well, either you’re a lost cause or he’s a hopeless teacher. All these mistakes are so amatuer, how could you not pick up on them?” Namjoon sighed. “Maybe I can help instead? Let’s go over this paper again and look at all the parts you got wrong.”

For once, (Y/N) felt more enlightened by her tutor. She wasn’t being told that all she was doing was wrong, just given gentle suggestions on how to improve. Namjoon's words stuck in her brain, rather than going in one ear and out the other like Jin’s lectures did. And when all was said and done, she felt way more confident about the exam than ever before.

“Say, Namjoon are you free tomorrow?” (Y/N) piped up once the clock hit half two, indicating they had to go to their next lesson.

“Of course. I’ll see you then?”

*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*

‘I don’t think your style of teaching suits me. Thank you for all your help, but I have found another tutor that can help me. Best wishes x’

Jin’s blood boiled when he got out of class to find that text message awaiting him. The temptation to throw his phone against the wall was immense, but before he could control himself his feet were carrying him towards the room that (Y/N) was in, seeing her enter the classroom with Namjoon by her side, chatting up a storm. Jin wasn’t stupid, he knew what had happened. His own friend had stabbed him in the back and stolen the girl Jin had been working so hard to have. Now, Namjoon had earned himself every fibre of malice in his former friend’s body.

Jin just watched at first. Finding a seat nearby them and pretending to be fascinated with a magazine as to not be recognised as he observed their interactions. He seethed in silence as he saw them together everyday, their chairs getting closer together, the ‘accidental’ hand brushing growing more frequent. He was ready to snap at any moment, to get on his knees and beg for (Y/N) to talk to him or to cut out Namjoon’s throat for his perversion on the girl Jin had staked his claim on a long time ago.

The nail in the coffin came in the form of a post on (Y/N)’s instagram. The second the notification popped up on his phone, Jin immediately swiped open the notification, shielding his phone under the table, not only to prevent the teacher from catching him not paying attention but to prevent his other classmates from getting a glimpse of (Y/N)’s beautiful face. Naturally, in this new picture (Y/N) was ethereal as ever, but the picture was tainted by another man’s presence. Her cheek was stifled against his chest, his arms were grabbing at her waist, it was just disgusting. But what hurt Jin the most was the caption.

‘My everything <3’

Jin was supposed to be your everything, why else would he have spent so much time meticulously “marking” her exams, stretching out their minutes together so that she could develop feelings? All that had led to her love had been snatched away. He stood up, letting his chair fall back and stormed out of the classroom, oblivious to the calls from his teacher.

He would rid (Y/N) of her parasite, make sure that her smile was solely for him.

‘Namjoon, can we talk?’

*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*

“Jin-hyung? Are you home?” Namjoon had taken the bait perfectly. The elder had to resist the urge to smirk, the eye-drop generated tears streaming down his cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” Immediately his friend was at his side. “Did something happen?”

“I feel so betrayed!” Jin sobbed, rubbing at his red and raw eyes. “The girl I love is… is in love with someone else.”

His friend rubbed his back to soothe him. Jin knew his friend was too gentle to suspect anything. His enemy was comforting him, and was right where Jin wanted him to be.

“Who is she? Do I know her?” Namjoon queried. “Maybe I can talk with her, tell her what a great guy you are and how she’s missing out on so much.”

“I-it’s (L/N) (Y/N). Do you know her?” Namjoon froze.

“Jin-hyung…” He was shocked into silence as Jin peered at him through slit eyes.

“I love her. How could you?” Jin’s voice was raspy but cold.

“I’m sorry, I never wanted to hurt you-”

“I love her! Can you even say the same?!” Jin shouted, standing up.

“Calm down. You’re not the only person in this world, just because you have feelings doesn’t negate how I feel about her. And she likes me back.” His friend responded coolly, all sympathy for Jin’s crocodile tears fading.

“If you cared about me, about her, you would break up with her. Do what’s right for us.” Jin snapped back, his face growing red with rage.

“I’m not going to do that. Calm down, let’s talk about this properly.” But Jin was not going to calm down. He was seething with anger, his hands trembling with wrath.

If Namjoon was determined to obstruct Jin’s way of life with (Y/N), he would have to be erased entirely.

His fingers found themselves grasping the small ornate lamp behind him, smashing it across his former friend’s forehead. The glass shattered, splintering across his face, but this suffering wasn’t enough. Jin wanted him to pay for changing (Y/N), for obstructing his love story.

He climbed onto top of the younger man and started throwing punches wherever he could: Namjoon’s stomach, his face, his ribs. His knuckles turned red and started bleeding as Namjoon’s skin became red and swollen from the damage.

Jin didn’t even realise when Namjoon’s breathing had ceased and his eyes had glazed over. He just kept beating him, letting all of his frustration out on the former friend turned punching bag. Finally, he got off his victim, catching his own breath back as he looked at what he had done. This hadn’t been his plan at all. Now he had a body on his hands and no (Y/N) yet.

At least he could deal with one of those easier.

He started to drag the battered corpse away from his living room, deciding to shove it under his bed. His roommates wouldn’t invade his privacy, and he could dispose of it later, when it would start to smell. After putting the body out of sight and out of mind, he dug Namjoon’s phone out of his pocket.

There was such a sweet release in finally calling (Y/N), after so long without a conversation with her. She picked up after the second tone.

“(Y/N)? Can we talk?”

195 notes · View notes

crazy-loca-blog · 4 years

Text

Personal thoughts on Open Heart, Book 2

Note: As the title says, these are just personal opinions on Choices books and chapters. Of course, you may agree or disagree with them, I only use this platform to express my thoughts on what I read every week and what I’d like to see in the next chapters, because none of my friends play Choices so I have no one to comment the books with.

It’s been a while since I started writing this post, I actually remember saying I would post it months ago. But then things escalated in such a negative way between some people, that I said “well, maybe it’s not the best moment to post this”. So now that the book will be back, I thought it might be a good time to revisit it.

Of course, as this was written before the second hiatus, it’s been done with the original plot in mind, and I don’t read spoilers and the book is supposedly being rewritten, it may be full of mistakes… it just took me so long to write it, that I don’t want it to go to waste! hahaha

I’ve read a lot of people complaining about the plot of Open Heart 2 being all over the place, and some people are worried about the “too many subplots” this book has. Well, sure, there might be A LOT going on in this book, but when you analyze what almost every character is going through (emphasis in “almost”), you’ll realize that they all have one thing in common: they’re all dealing with their past. Also, with a third book confirmed, I don’t think everything is going to find its closure in Book 2. But let’s analyze our gang (they are in alphabetic order, as usual):

Aurora Emery: This girl is so damaged that it hurts. She certainly had trust issues during college and she’s reliving them all over again. Of course, being Harper Emery’s niece is not easy when you go to medical school and become a doctor. Not only people have high expectations on your performance, they also want to be friends with you and you just don’t know if it’s because of your aunt or because they genuinely care about you. Tobias is not making things easier for her either (I’m so ready to punch this guy if he hurts her!), and our MC has been an ass to her lately as well. She truly needs to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I’m so waiting for the MC to have a chance to apologize because what they did was the stupidest thing I’ve seen them do so far.

Bryce Lahela: Even though I’m in love with this guy (I always say he’d be my BFF in real life), we knew since day 1 that he was hiding something. Well, it took us over a book to discover that his family has a very, very shady past that ended up affecting not only Bryce, but also his little sister Keiki. Of course, discovering that your parents are criminals when you’re a teenager mustn’t be easy, and Keiki escaping because she’s basically living the same hell as Bryce went through in the past has only made him relive some old feelings that he wanted to be forgotten. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I can only think of some healing process for him that will probably not have its closure in Book 2, but in Book 3.

Elijah Green: Our boy Elijah has always declared himself a “nerd”. So, it doesn’t surprise me at all the fact that he had problems making friends while growing up. Also, due to his condition and what we know about his past, I bet his parents were super overprotective, making things harder for him. That’s why he is having a hard time when trying to keep boundaries with Sothy, his intern. It doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be friends, not at all (not only Ines and Zaid consider the MC “a friend”, but my MC is romancing Ethan, soo…). But he certainly tries too hard to be accepted (and not judged) by his intern, to the point that it becomes a risk for them as doctors.

Esme Ortega: Our new intern looks like she’s a tough girl, but it only took us one diamond scene to discover what’s behind her attitude. Her life has been hard and she’s basically facing the world alone since she was 14. Even though this apparently was a topic that was addressed and solved in the same scene, it’s very clear that she sees herself in her teen patient with leukemia. It’s very possible that her parents never told her that they were illegal immigrants, so she can’t stand lying to that kid. She knows how it feels. She knows he’s not a kid anymore and that his parents lying to him will only cause pain in the future. Hopefully we’ll be able to go deeper in her background during the rest of Book 2 or in Book 3.

Ethan Ramsey: Ethan is facing not only one, but two conflicts. The first one is a personal one: his mom left him and Alan (his dad) 25 years ago. Now she is suddenly back in their lives for some reason that we still need to figure out. Ethan believes she’s back because she needs money, and he might be right. There is also this idea that she’s actually sick and she needs Ethan’s help. This could also be pretty accurate. I actually think it’s something in between (maybe some stepbrother or stepsister he doesn’t know about needs medical care but they can’t afford it). The other one is professional: with the money problems in Edenbrook, he’s feeling all the pressure of having to make a choice between attending rich people who can afford their full treatments and being loyal to Naveen’s original purpose when he created the team (that is, to care about people who can’t afford their treatments). My thought is that, in the end, both his family issues and his career in the diagnostics team will be crossed and that this will become a turning point in the book (because yes, we still don’t have that “huge case” as we did have with Naveen’s case in Book 1).

Jackie Varma: Jackie’s issue actually hits home. College debts are a huge issue in my country, and I can tell almost every single one of my classmates is facing them now, even though we graduated a long time ago. It’s pretty common to see families struggling to help their kids to attend university and you can’t imagine how grateful I am that my hard work paid off and got me a scholarship that relieved that burden at home. So I can totally see Jackie in this situation: coming from a low income family who didn’t only become a doctor because she loves it, but also because she saw it as a chance to give her family a better life… and this isn’t happening right now. But she is actually doing something about it already, so she’ll probably be the first one to have her “burden from the past issue” solved, she just seems to need that raise that all residents are supposed to get… at least for now.

Rafael Aveiro: Our Rafael (who’s not going to die and who still is a LI in my opinion) surprised us when he introduced us to his significant other, Sora. I mean… what happened in that two-month period between Book 1 and Book 2? This is one of those times when I desperately need a diamond scene for him to explain everything. Because it doesn’t matter if he is your LI or not, he doesn’t seem convinced about this “new” relationship and you can’t change my mind. Also, the fact that he’s been taking more risks than usual is giving me some weird vibes (maybe he’s depressed and he’s been hiding it?). I’m pretty sure there’s something we don’t know yet… and I’m pretty sure that his conflict at the end of the book (if he is your LI) will be to decide between “staying in the past” (with Sora) and “moving into the future” (with the MC).

Sienna Trinh: Our sweetheart has had little screen time in this book, but that time has been enough to realize she’s having some serious issues, to the point that some people think she’s the one who’ll be dying because of how depressed she shows herself. We all remember that Sienna used to have a boyfriend certain specimen in her life, and how she dumped him in Book 1. Well, toxic relationships are not limited to love life, and that’s the case with her. She’s been repeating all the same patterns with her new resident, Mitch. He manipulates her and he’s basically abusing of her good will… just like certain ***hole she used to date it in the past.

Kyra Santana: I did leave Kyra for the end on purpose. Since the end of Book 1 I’ve been saying that she has to die at some point of the series, basically because we must be realistic here guys and we can’t be in denial: no matter how much we love her, our girl only has 10% chances of surviving cancer and before the hiatus, things were getting worse for her. Based on this… have you noticed how Kyra is the only character in the series (besides our MC) who’s not carrying some burden from her past? Instead, she just lives the present and she barely mentions her future, except in two cases: when she’s talking to the MC about her job interview, and when she says that her treatment “soon will be over”. To me, THIS SPEAK VOLUMES, GUYS!

67 notes · View notes

haloshornsinkstains · 4 years

Text

Other Side [Songfic, slight Dabi x F!Reader]

While I’m working on Kinktober stuff and my head is a mess, here have a songfic that wouldn’t leave my damn brain for the past few weeks after I saw an animatic based on this song (The Other Side from The Greatest Showman). It just works? Also, apologies on the quirk, I was rewatching Bungou Stray Dogs and <3

CW: Female reader, alcohol, swearing, mention of unwanted groping, Endeavour is a dick... otherwise, pretty SFW

You groaned, pressing your head against the bar and gesturing to the bartender for your usual. Hearing the glass set down beside you, you looked up and smiled, taking a long drink. “Thanks Ryu.” The bartender smiled sympathetically. “Boss still a dick?” “The biggest flaming dick in Japan.” You grumbled. “They’re still keeping me on office duty. I break one creeps jaw and they trap me inside. Mirko punched a reporter and she’s still a top hero.” “Hey, it could be worse. You could be not working under the number one hero.” “No, that makes it worse.” Ryu frowned. “How?” “I hate him. I always hated him.” “Then why don’t you just leave and work for someone else.” You scowled at your glass, left hand leaving dents in the wood of the bar where it rested. “Not allowed.” “Bullshit. And stop denting my bar.” “Truth. Believe me, I’d leave if I could. But I can’t.” You sighed, lifting your hand from the wood apologetically. “Sorry Ryu. If I left I wouldn’t get to be a hero any more, even if all I do is paperwork I worked my ass off for this.” Ryu shrugged, spotting another customer signalling him out of the corner of his eye and smiling apologetically. “Sucks I guess. I’ve got people to serve, shout if you want a top up.” “Believe me, I will.”

You heard a glass set down next to you, the unmistakable heat of a body taking up the seat to your right. "Hey there princess." The voice was gravelly but so familiar. "Nope. I've had more than enough Todoroki bullshit for one day." You growled, staring daggers at your drink. "Sorry, you must be mistaking me for someone else." You turned, narrowing your eyes at the man sat next to you. "Dabi. You remember I've known you way too long to fall for your bullshit right? And I am so not in the mood." Dabi went to lift his glass, only to find it stuck to the bar, your skin giving off a faint red glow. "Come on princess, I only want to talk. We can bitch about that asshole like old times." You sagged a little, the glow fading and his glass suddenly much easier to lift. You knew he wanted more than to just talk, Dabi's talks always came with attempts to recruit you into the league or, if he was drunk or high enough on adrenaline, his bed. But he was an old friend, and one of the few people more than happy to join your Fuck Endeavour and Fuck The Hero Commission rants. Shaking your head you gestured to one of the darker tables in the back, this might have been a very shady bar but Dabi was well known enough now that even here someone might be dumb enough to try to call the pros. And you liked this place too much to see it turned to ash.

You both settled into your seats in the back, you nursing your whiskey with a frown. "So what did dear old dad do today?" "Existed?" You huffed. "Bitched me out for not downplaying the damage caused in one of his 'rescues' while I was writing his reports for him. Which turned into more general belittlement of my attitude, abilities as a hero, quirk… basically he covered all the bases." "You know they'll never let you leave there right? You'll be doing paperwork until you die." Dabi drawled, you glared at him. "They're keeping you there because you're too dangerous to them, you know too much and you were caught sympathising with a villain. He hates you, he won't hesitate to put you down at the first sign of defection. You're trapped." "I didn't sympathise with a villain. I just didn't disagree with all of his ideas regarding the behaviour of heroes. I didn't exactly agree with his methods, I liked Ingenium plenty thank you very much." You grumbled, swirling the amber liquid in your glass. “He was friendly, and fun.” "Still… you hit like a truck when we were kids, I'd love to see what damage you can do now." He hummed, eyes flashing bright for a second. "You could be very dangerous. So they lock you up in an office doing filing for a man that hates you like a good little minion." "You're alarmingly eloquent today." You took another sip, setting the glass down and closing your eyes with a deep sigh. "I worked my ass off to be a hero, why would I want to throw that away?" "Oh, so you enjoy being his little secretary?" Your eyes flashed, skin glowing red as his chair creaked under the sudden strain of the gravity increase. Dabi just smirked, that stupid smug look that told you he knew he'd won. "Just listen to my proposal?" You sighed, the oppressive pressure dissipating in an instant as you waved at him to continue. Maybe he'd put a new twist in the spiel this time.

"Right here, right now I put the offer out I don't want to chase you down I know you see it" “We do this on a near weekly basis, you have quite literally stalked me to this bar, if that’s not chasing me down what is?” You scoffed and shook your head, eyes flicking to the bar while you debated how many more drinks you were going to need after this. "You run with me And I can cut you free Out of the drudgery and walls you keep in So trade that typical for something colorful And if it's crazy, live a little crazy" "Well at least you acknowledge your league is entirely batshit." "You can play it sensible, a king of conventional" "Conventional? Really? I'm wounded." "Or you can risk it all and see Don't you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play 'Cause I got what you need, so come with me and take the ride It'll take you to the other side 'Cause you can do like you do Or you can do like me Stay in the cage, or you'll finally take the key Oh, damn! Suddenly you're free to fly" You drummed your fingers on the table, honestly the bird metaphors were a bit weird but he was starting to sound like he had a point, which was…. Alarming. You needed to shut this down fast or you’d break.

"Okay, my friend, you want to cut me in Well I hate to tell you, but it just won't happen So thanks, but no I think I'm good to go 'Cause I quite enjoy the life you say I'm trapped in" Dabi scoffed. "Really? Didn't sound like it five minutes ago." You shot him a glare. "Now I admire you, and that whole show you do You're onto something, really it's something Don't you know that I'm okay with this uptown part I get to play 'Cause I got what I need and I don't want to take the ride I don't need to see the other side So go and do like you do I'm good to do like me Ain't in a cage, so I don't need to take the key Oh, damn! Can't you see I'm doing fine I don't need to see the other side"

Dabi laughed, gesturing at the dingy bar and the glass in your hands with possibly the most judgemental look on his face you’d seen in years. "Now is this really how you like to spend your days? Whiskey and misery, and parties and plays"

You sighed again, but your shoulders were sagging now and he knew he was winning. You couldn't pretend you enjoyed this any more, restrictions and abuse breaking you down into someone much easier to tempt and mould. "If I were mixed up with you, I'd be the talk of the town Disgraced and disowned, another one of the clowns" You huffed, waving a hand vaguely in his direction.

"But you would finally live a little, finally laugh a little Just let me give you the freedom to dream And it'll wake you up and cure your aching Take your walls and start 'em breaking Now that's a deal that seems worth taking But I guess I'll leave that up to you" He stood to leave only to find the gravity of your quirk forcing him back down. He knew then that he had won, they'd turned a hero. Shigiraki might take some convincing but that didn't matter right now. Your resolve was crumbling.

"Well it's intriguing, but to go would cost me greatly So what's in it for me?" "Freedom. You want to punch the next guy who touches you inappropriately through a building? The League won't question you for a second, and there's no paperwork." You shook your head. "You'll have to raise the price a bit more than that." "Its a big fuck you to Endeavour?" "That was weak even for you. Dick has hated me since I was, what, five? All I’m doing is giving him an excuse to come after me. He'll be after my head as soon as I leave, and as much as I’m loathe to admit it we both know he's powerful." "You get to spend all the time you want with your favourite childhood friend…" his smirk turned wicked and knowing. "No one to stop you, no questions, no hiding in the corner of a dingy bar. And I guess Shigaraki is okay.” "You play dirty, you know that right?" "Well, I am a villain." Rolling your eyes you knocked back the last of your whiskey and stood, holding out a hand to him. "Well, guess I'm pissed off enough not to care any more. Congratulations Touya, you win." Grinning Dabi took your hand, ignoring the use of his old name in favour of pulling you in for a hug. “Oh, you’re going to be amazing Princess.” “I’ve always been amazing.” You chuckled. “Take me to your leader before I change my mind.” Dabi grinned. “As you wish.” “And no burning down my favourite bar!”

The pair of you stepped outside, Dabi sending a quick message on his phone that was shortly followed by the appearance of a swirling black void. "No wonder I've never seen you on the subway." You joked, though your fingers tightened anxiously around his. "Time to move up in the world princess." He chuckled, tugging you forwards into the void. "You know I don't like...holy shit." You stepped out into a different dingy bar, several faces snapping up to look at you as you appeared. Dabi was a comforting presence at your back. “No more corners of dingy bars huh?” You murmured, shooting him a sideways glance. "Hey Dabi, what's with the midget?" You bristled. "I am not a…" "Shit, that's a pro!" The villain speaking launched at you, intent to kill flashing hot in his eyes. Already irritated and more than a little on edge you activated your quirk, watching him fall flat on his face as overwhelming gravity pulled him down. Dabi had crumpled to his knees behind you, the others struggling to move. "Princess." You just growled. "She's with me, with us." Dabi continued. "Princess?" With a huff you released your quirk, watching warily as the villain who'd gone to attack you pushed himself to his feet. Dabi's hand on your shoulder made you flinch but his grip was strong, somewhere between restraint and support in case wide scale use of your quirk had taken it out of you. It was hard not to appreciate the gesture, even if you felt fine. "Meet Graviton. She's… an old friend." "I didn't know you could make friends." Your head snapped around at the sound of the voice, focusing in on Shigaraki sat at the bar, watching you from between the fingers of the hand on his face. "I've got more than you creep." Dabi snapped back, fingers digging into your shoulder. You tipped your head back a little, raising an eyebrow at him. Shigaraki scratched at his neck, eyes never leaving you. "Why is she even here? She could be a double agent." You couldn't hold back the laugh that bubbled out at that. "Hah, no." "Why are you here?" You were glad for the dim lighting, the constant attention making a blush rise on your cheeks. "I had a really bad week, and Dabi asked nicely. Even said please." As much as you tried to be nonchalant you couldn't hide the slight tremble in your voice. Shigaraki scoffed and you finally looked away from him. "I'm sick of being stuck doing paperwork because the Heroes say so. I worked hard to get my license only to be told I'm not allowed to do anything except sit in a cage with someone I hate. Guess I finally had enough. I was told you'll let me use my power." "And she really wants to punch Endeavour in the face." Dabi added cheerfully. "Oh yeah, that too." "I trust her, and you should know by now I don't drag in just anyone." "Shigaraki, she could be useful. She has inside information and that power was impressive." The black void behind the bar spoke, startling you a little and pulling a quiet chuckle from Dabi. "Fine. Make yourself useful, if you try to betray us I'll kill you." Shigaraki huffed, standing from his seat. "Kurogiri, I'm going back to my room." "Welcome to the League [name]."

#my writing #songfic #f!reader #dabi #dabi x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha #halo.writes

35 notes · View notes

nikibogwater · 3 years

Text

The Norse Chaos Chronicles: Chapter Four--In which by some Easter miracle, the Incompetent Vikings defeat the Elder

Been a few days since my last update in regards to Team Bogwater’s exploits in the world of Valheim. This is mostly because we actually had a couple of play sessions that were relatively calm.

We actually did manage to expand to the Black Forest across the sea and set up a functioning base there, where we lived in somewhat cramped quarters for a while until we had gathered enough minerals to enter the Bronze Age (and by cramped, I mean all three of us were crammed into what was basically a single king-sized bed because we failed to make the house big enough to accommodate a reasonable amount of space between each of our beds--clearly some home renovations are in order).

I, being a very kind and responsible sister, spent some time on the server by myself making our base more secure with Stake Walls, setting up a sufficient space for storage, and gathering food, all tasks that the others didn’t seem too excited to take care of. I was expecting the boys to notice and at least tell me that my additions were helpful.

I know for a fact that they at least noticed, because when I joined them for this most recent play session, Gustav had decided that what our base needed now was a spike pit around the front gate, which I know wouldn’t have occurred to him if I hadn’t put up the spiky walls. I was never told that my additions were helpful or appreciated, but considering that there were far fewer deaths happening close to our base, I suspect they were nonetheless.

Niki: ...Is....Do we really need the spike trap? Like, is it necessary? Gustav: How could you even ask something like that?! I have never been more upset in my life. Niki: It’s just...like, there’s a bridge that goes right over it. Gustav: Yeah. So we can get across it. Niki: Right but so could the Greydwarves. Gustav: Greydwarves aren’t that smart. (20 minutes later) Gustav, trying and failing to shove a Greydwarf into the pit: You guys, I may have overestimated how unintelligent Greydwarves are.

Gustav got exactly one (1) Greydwarf to fall into the pit and die. The only other thing he caught was Tripe.

Okay, well, he did manage to get a Troll to walk into the spikes, but then it just smashed them all to pieces. It was at this point that Gustav finally accepted the reality of the fact that a spike pit was completely useless to us in this particular area.

Gustav, filling in the pit with rocks: Man, why didn’t one of you guys warn me that the spike trap was a dumb idea? Niki and Tripe: Yeah, that was our bad. 🙄 (10 minutes later) Niki, just peacefully mining copper in the forest: Wait, so where did the Troll go- *gets slammed by the Troll before I can even finish voicing the question* GUSTAV, WHY DIDN’T YOU KILL IT?!

Tripe and Gustav upgraded to Bronze Gear and Troll Hide (I brought mine over from my single player world to save time and resources). I was still trying to gather up enough Bronze to make a Cultivator so we could eat something other than Cooked Meat and Queen’s Jam, when suddenly I was informed that we were getting into a boat (we upgraded from the raft, finally) and going to kill the Elder.

Tripe: Get in losers, we’re going to kill the next boss. Gustav: *jumps in without any hesitation* Niki: Wait what?! That’s a terrible idea! (5 minutes later) Niki, sulking in the front of the boat: Did I mention this is a really bad idea? Gustav and Tripe: It’s fine. How bad can it possibly be?

Horrible. Absolutely horrible. That’s how bad it was.

We had rather unlucky RNG with our world generation, and the Elder’s altar was a good 1,000 miles away from us. Which meant a significant portion of this play session was actually just sitting in the boat and watching the scenery pass.

It sounds like a pleasant time, but I was absolutely terrified the whole way there.

Gustav: ...Oh hey, we discovered the ocean. Niki, who has seen videos of Sea Serpents absolutely wrecking well-equipped players: BACK TO THE SHORE. GO BACK. DO NOT MOVE INTO OPEN WATERS. GUSTAV, FOR THE LOVE, GO BACK TO THE SHORELINE! (Passing a Plains biome) Niki: ...Did you guys know there are one-hit death bugs in the Plains Gustav and Tripe: Will you please calm down

We happened to run across Haldur the merchant shortly before reaching our destination. Since Valheim doesn’t tie your inventory to individual worlds, I went ahead and bought a few things to bring back to my single-player world (namely the fishing gear). I hopped off the server for a minute to transfer the items, and while I was in my world, I grabbed some extra food (the boys are terrible about keeping food in their inventories) and, since I figured we’d need all the help we could get, grabbed a few jugs of mead without really paying attention to what effects they gave.

When I came back into the server, Tripe and Gustav were setting up our temporary base so we could reset our spawn points. Right. Smack. Dab. Next to the altar. As in, when the Elder spawned, he was going to basically be standing directly on top of it.

Niki: ...You guys that seems like a poorly-conceived plan. Gustav and Tripe: No, it’s fine. Stop worrying.

At this point, I was pretty resigned to the disaster that was inevitably going to unfold, so I just grabbed some wood and set up my own shack a decent ways away without making any further attempts to convince the other two.

Gustav: Niki, where are you? We’re all ready. Niki: I just...I’ll be there in a minute, hold on. Tripe: What are you doing? Niki: ...I’m building a house. Gustav: YOU ARE BUILDING YOUR OWN HOUSE WHEN WE HAVE A PERFECTLY GOOD ONE RIGHT HERE?! RUDE! Niki: I DON’T WANNA RESPAWN AND THEN JUST IMMEDIATELY BE SQUISHED AGAIN, ALRIGHT?!

Houses built and weapons readied, we all gathered at the altar. I chucked the Ancient Seeds into the flame and immediately booked it out of the vicinity as fast as my meaty Vikings legs could carry me, frantically downing a jug of mead as I went. The Elder spawned in and within seconds, absolute carnage reigned supreme.

Gustav died within the first two minutes and spent the next ten trying to make it back to his grave. Which he couldn’t really do because his respawn point was right next to the Elder, and emerging from the house naked of all armor and gear was basically an instant death sentence.

Gustav: I’ve died six times trying to get my gear back. We really shouldn’t have built the house this close to the altar. Niki, why didn’t you warn us? Niki, fleeing from the massive thorny vines that the Elder is trying to impale her on: I hate you guys so much right now.

I was hanging back as much as I could, dealing damage with my Finewood Bow, but the Elder has a huge range of attack, and it had me down to single digits in health within less than a minute. And it was at this point that I realized I had majorly screwed up.

The mead that I had been frantically chugging in hopes of gaining better health regen? It was actually slowing my health regen and only increasing my stamina.

Niki: YOU GUYS THE MEAD WAS A MISTAKE. OH MY GOSH, IT’S MINUS FIFTY HEALTH REGEN, NOT PLUS! OH CRAP CRAP CRAP--I’M LITERALLY SLOSHED OVER HERE! Gustav: WAIT, NIKI CAME INTO THIS FIGHT DRUNK?! Niki: I DIDN’T NOTICE THE MINUS SIGN!!!! *yeets the rest of the mead into the ocean before meeting my first demise at the hands of the Elder*

Miraculously, I only died twice during the fight (again, mostly because my respawn point was away from the altar, meaning I had a clearer path back to my graves when I respawned). I have no idea how many times the other two died. Towards the end we were also being bombarded by hoards of Greydwarves, which only made things ten times worse.

Gustav: Have either of you seen my corpse? I mean, I have several lying around here at this point.

I don’t even know how we managed it, but we did finally take out the Elder and received our Swamp Keys. We all stood around the scene of destruction for a minute, just kind of collecting ourselves.

Tripe: ...I feel like that could’ve gone better. Gustav: Yeah. It’s just, Niki goes and does all this research and watches videos and then she doesn’t bother to tell us not to put our house so close to the- Niki: *punches him*

The trip home was blessedly uneventful. Tripe did decide to cut across the ocean instead of following the shoreline in order to save time. I was 90% certain we were all going to be eaten by a Serpent, but we were fine.

We made it back to our camp only to find a Greydwarf Shaman mucking around in our front yard.

Gustav: What is he--is he barfing on our house...? NO, HE’S SMASHING THE CART! OH YOU SON OF A-- *takes a flying leap out of the boat and tears through the shallows, furiously waving his spear*

The Shaman poisoned Tripe, who had a mild panic attack because his respawn point was still back at the Elder’s Altar, and if he died now he would have to walk all the way back here.

Tripe, with 1 HP left: NO I’M NOT DYING LIKE THIS! *dives headfirst into the nearest bed*

So yes. That is what I was doing this weekend, in case any of you were wondering where I disappeared to. I am hoping to spend some time working on ToA stuff today, but I again, I think it is important to record these events for posterity...and perhaps as a cautionary tale for others.

#niki rambles #gaming #valheim

9 notes · View notes

boldlygo-boldlygoing-boldlygone · 3 years

Text

And We Do It All Again - Chapter 7

Summary: Jim has two big problems right now. The first is that he is hopelessly in love with his First Officer and his Chief Medical Officer, and neither seems to return his feelings. The second is that he’s stuck in a time loop where his ship is destroyed and his crew killed, over and over again.

Things can never be simple for James T. Kirk, can they?

Warnings: angst, (temporary) character death, swearing, time loops, suicide attempt in a later chapter (again, it’s in a time loop so it doesn’t really work)

Pairing: McSpirk

Chapter 7 of 7

First Previous Next

A/N: Can also be read here on AO3!

Jim woke and sighed, his eyes catching the chess board, the whiskey glasses. A familiar sight by now. He thought about the confessions.

Without another thought, he rolled in his bed and grabbed his communicator. Bones and Spock arrived together, just as Jim finished pulling on his uniform.

"Jim, is all well?"

"Seriously, you better be dying. I was still asleep!"

"I need to tell you both something." Jim informed them, watching them enter the room from his seat on the bed.

"It couldn't wait until breakfast?"

"It's waited long enough." Jim looked at them both, love and a desperate need for them to know rising in him. "This may sound insane, but I promise, I am mentally and physically fine. Bones, you can even check after this, if you want." He began calmly. Both looked concerned, but he continued before they could interrupt. "I am in love with both of you. Have been for a while."

There was a long silence, a moment where they both just stared at her. Then, Spock spoke.

"Captain, I must ask, what has caused this outburst?"

Jim shrugged. "It needed to be said. I'm tired of hiding it." He was so damn tired. It had been so long and he was just so tired. It felt good to admit this. After the last few cycles, it almost felt natural.

"Jim, stop messing around."

"I'm not." He shrugged. "I'm in love with both of you. Whatever happens next is up to you guys. I don't expect anything, but I needed you to know."

"T'hy'la." The word was whispered reverently, Spock's voice shaking. Jim felt a smile tugging at his face despite his exhaustion.

Bones glanced between the two then straightened, shaking his head. "Idiots." He mumbled, turning for the door. Jim rose to stop him, but Spock beat him to it. Spock caught the doctor's wrist and pulled him back. "Leonard. Please, do not leave. I- I must confess, I have also been harboring feelings for both of you as well."

Bones didn't look convinced. "Look, you two are great for each other. You don't need me mucking it up. Just- let me go with my dignity."

"Shut up, Bones." Jim couldn't think of a time when his heart had felt so full.

"I must agree, Leonard."

"This is insane. Actually insane. You just wanna jump into a polygamous relationship? What's the crew gonna say?"

"It's the 23rd century, Bones. I think it'll be okay. And we don't need to rush into anything. Like I said, I don't expect anything. I just... I needed you to know."

"Perhaps we should continue this conversation after our respective shifts. It is nearly time for us to be on the bridge, Jim."

Jim nodded. "We can meet here at 2300, okay? We'll figure out what this all means." The promise of later felt so abstract, so unreal, but it was what they'd expect him to offer. So he offered it.

"Affirmative."

"I guess."

Jim stepped forward, love washing over him as he took the two in. Then, he grabbed Bones and pulled him into a tight hug. "I love you, Bones."

Bones returned the hug. "Love you too, kid." His voice was gruff, but Jim knew better.

In the turbolift with Spock, Jim put a hand on his First Officer's bicep. "I know touch is sacred to Vulcans, so I don't expect anything. I just want you to know I love you."

Spock looked at him, face as calm as Jim had ever seen it. "I love you as well, Jim."

It should have made him happy. Here was Spock, saying he loved him. After everything, it should have been a relief. Somehow it only managed to break his heart.

"Captain on the bridge!"

He sat through his shift, sneaking glanced at Spock (who was doing the same to him) and hating everything. It had been shockingly easy. They weren't his yet, but they were willing to talk. They were both interested.

Well, Spock was. Bones hadn't said it explicitly, but Jim could remember how he'd kissed him, how he'd gripped him. He knew Bones loved him. He suspected he'd always known, deep down. Until now, he'd just been too afraid to allow himself to hope. Of course, now knowing that didn't do him much good. Not when he'd wake tomorrow starting all over again.

"Sir, there's an unidentified ship approaching."

There it was. The worst ship in the galaxy. If only he could stop it. Steer the ship to some safe location. Maybe get aboard it and-

Get aboard it.

An idea hit him hard and he jumped up, body in motion even before his mind had fully considered this new plan. "Mr. Sulu, shields up! Mr. Spock, take the con!"

"Captain-"

"Do it, that's an order!" He called, already sprinting from the room.

He commed Scotty to meet him in the transporter room. They both arrived just as the first hit shook the ship. Jim jumped onto the platform, the seconds ticking away in his head. "Beam me onto that ship!"

"Sir, I don't know if-"

"That's an order!"

Scotty's eyes widened and he began punching buttons, clearly shocked. Jim wasn't one to bark orders like that.

He wasn't sure where he was when he landed, but he had a half-formed plan and that was further than he usually got. Jim took off, squinting at the signs and arrows directing him. As he ran, he shot any and all he came across.

"Enterprise to Captain Kirk!" There was a tightness to Spock's voice. A small shift, something most wouldn't notice. But Jim knew his first officer well. Spock was not pleased with him.

"Kirk here." Jim responded, slightly out of breath as he approached the engineering room.

"Captain, you must beam back aboard the Enterprise immediately. We do not know who is controlling this ship, but they are clearly hostile."

"Can't, Spock. Nothing else is gonna work, they're too strong. I'm taking it down from the inside."

"Captain-"

"Sorry, Spock." Jim snapped the communicator shut and shoved it back into his pocket, just in time. He sprinted into the engineering room, scanning for the most volatile pieces of machinery. It didn't take long to find them. Jim wasn't entirely sure what he was doing. He knew how the Enterprise ran. He knew what to do to keep her happy (though not as happy as Scotty kept her), but this wasn't the Enterprise. It was all cruder, more basic machinery.

Good thing he wasn't trying to keep this ship happy.

"Hey!"

Jim spun, phaser up and firing, but too late. He gasped, grabbing his side as pain seared through him. Huh. Being shot. That was certainly different. Boarding the enemy ship really had opened a world of possibilities.

Still, his aim was true and the last guard was down. He turned back to the equipment and set to work destroying anything he could get his hands on. The timer inside his head was running out. Jim counted himself lucky, then, when something exploded a few feet away from him. The force knocked him down and sent pain up his side, but he ignored it and scrambled to his feet, sprinting for the door.

"Kirk to Enterprise! Requesting immediate beam up, if you have the capability! I repeat, requesting immediate-"

It was too late. Just as he cleared the door, fire engulfed him, catching him and spitting him out. It was somehow just like being on the Enterprise as it exploded and yet so different. Briefly, he was relieved he didn't have to see Bones or Spock die again. As he was thrown out into space, he shut his eyes and let the darkness come, that thought a comfort as he slipped away. Maybe next time he'd figure out how to save them all. Maybe next time, he'd do better.

. . .

He woke slowly and repressed a sigh, keeping his eyes shut this time. Briefly, he wondered if this was a day when he stayed in bed. It was like his pain from the last day had followed him. Everything ached and he was so, so tired. Still, he should probably keep working. Getting aboard the other ship was new. Exploring that might bring new choices. He had to escape this damn loop somehow. There had to be a way. There had to be.

It was just so hard to keep going.

"Jim?"

And now he was hearing things. Great. This damn loop had finally driven him crazy. He thought repeating the same day would keep that from happening, but evidently not. Because now he was hearing Spock's voice, and-

"Jimmy, open your eyes."

And Bones. Great, just great. Like this wasn't hard enough as it was.

"We can see your vitals. We know you're awake."

Might as well get it over with. Sighing softly, Jim let his eyes fall open.

He wasn't in his room.

Immediately, he bolted up, eyes widening and head twisting, searching the area. He was in the sickbay, in a private room. Spock and Bones stood beside him. "Woah, calm down!" Bones grabbed him and forced him back. "You need to lay down!"

"I'm not in my room."

"No, you're not." Bones scowled. "What the hell were you thinking, beaming onto that ship? You're lucky Scotty had the brains to get Chekov to catch you or you'd be dead right now!"

"Chekov caught me?"

"Yeah, after that damn ship blew up and spit you out."

"Wait, the ship- Is the Enterprise okay?"

"Oh for God's sake!"

"Yes, Jim." Spock responded. "There was substantial damage, but because of your early order to put up shields and distraction aboard the other ship, we were able to avoid destruction."

"How many dead?"

"None. Thirty-six injuries, but no deaths."

No deaths. Not a single one.

"We very nearly had one." Bones scowled at Jim, jabbing a hypo into his neck. "You damn fool!"

"Ow, Bones!" Jim complained.

"Don't wanna get hypoed, don't almost get yourself killed!"

"I had to."

"No you didn't!" Bones' eyes were burning. "You pull this damn stunt right after telling us you're in love with us and you expect me to believe you had to? Bullshit!"

"Bones-"

"I was preparing my speech to convince you two to enjoy yourselves without me and then I find out you beamed onto an unknown, hostile ship? Seriously, Jim?"

"I'm sorry."

"You damn well should be! You're an idiot!"

"I am."

Bones stared at him for a long moment, then grabbed him and pulled him into a bruising kiss. "If you'd died before I had a chance to kiss you, I'd have brought you back just to kill you again myself."

"Noted." Jim let out a breathy laugh, chest bubbly with too many emotions to process. He could feel Spock's eyes on him, so he turned and raised two fingers, remembering the Vulcan way of kissing. The corner of Spock's lips turned up and he returned the gesture. Before Jim could speak, however, Spock's other hand curled around the back of Jim's neck. He pulled Jim into a human kiss. It was gentler than Bones', but still filled with emotion.

"As illogical as it is, I must agree with Leonard." He said once they'd pulled apart. "You must learn not to endanger yourself."

Jim let his eyes flutter shut and he laughed again, breathy and tired and so relieved. "I think I can do that. For you two."

Bones snorted. "Yeah right."

"Hey!"

"Lay back down. You still need to rest."

"I'm fine!"

"You were shot, you arm was nearly burned off, and you almost suffocated. Shut up and rest."

"Bones!" Jim moaned, obeying none the less. He let the doctor work, smiling fondly as he grumbled and Spock stood over his bed, watching with those sharp eyes of his. He thought about explaining his actions. Telling them about the loop, about being stuck going through the same day over and over. Giving them the highlights of his experience. But then Spock's fingers pressed rest lightly against his wrist and Bones' hands lingered a moment longer than necessary on his shoulder and he knew he couldn't ruin this. So he lay still and let their presences wash over him.

It was over. The nightmare was finally over. And in this moment, he didn't want to relive any of it. He'd tell them eventually. He'd explain why he'd done what he had, tell them about the highs and lows of his experience, about how much he'd seen and done and felt, but for now he just wanted to remain in the present and let himself feel loved.

And how so very loved he felt.

#star trek #tos #aos #spock #leonard mccoy #jim kirk #mcspirk #st fanfiction #fanfiction #my stories #mine #and we do it all again

5 notes · View notes