#not after throwing me out like she did | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

farlooms · 1 year

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i know its the jewish bias but tbh i genuinely fucking hate xmas time so much

#kage rattles #i have an interfaith family & my dad/stepmom r xtian and so xmas is always a fucking Thing and this yr its particularly infuriating #my stepmoms always fucking insufferable but xmas eve & xmas is NO exception. these r the days shes the absolute worst #between the fact that shes acting like everythings normal and she didnt fuckin throw me out #and the fact shes being. Her. i just want this shit over with i want to go HOME #the most guaranteed way to get me to be mad at you is to get mad at me for doing something that You Are Also Doing.#it happens SO fucking often i am SO tired of people doing this shit and its sometimes with people i otherwise like too which is the WORST #bc i dont WANT to be mad at them when it happens but i fucking AM #my stepmom does this fucking Thing where she WONT listen to me and then get mad because shes not listening and then fucking get mad at ME #and claim that IM not listening #it makes me so Fucking mad. i cannot wait for the day i can cut her off and never see her again #ive been trying to be like ''ohhggh well maybe for my sisters sakes i'll try to maintain a bit of a relationship'' but nah not anymore #not after throwing me out like she did #im so fucking angry #this time of year fucking sucks i fucking hate xmas and i hate my stepmother so much. i miss my real mom #and i want my REAL dad. my STEPdad. because hes actually my father i dont care. not biologically but hes a far better father to me tha #n mine ever was

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yasmeensh · 2 months

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I finished reading 4 books from Earth's Children series. The last three were really hard to read. After finishing Plains of Passage, I have come to really appreciate Clan of the Cave Bear as a standalone. I miss all the Neanderthals and Ayla's character arc. Gotta do some fanart!

PS. I MISS IZA! Best character in the series.

#clan of the cave bear #earth's children #after the first book it just goes downhill #REALLY DOWNHILL #Ayla becomes the biggest mary sue EVER #in the first book it was believable because it's established in the story the Neanderthals have different skills that Ayla must adapt to #and she wasn't doing anything over the top #She was just adapting #but later she starts doing insane things #like wtf?? NO human ever figured out they could strike iron pyrite to get sparks?#NO ONE ever figured out they could make a needle?#She invented the arrow too (or whatever that thin short spear things they did? not the spear thrower #I will not be surprised if she ends up inventing the wheel in the next two books #also domesticating animals #also there were so many traumatizing scenes #three different rape scenes in book 4 !!???#I was going to throw up #It just.. got very uncomfortable to read #it changed me #so I now I'm thinking about the first book #yes it has all these same elements from the later books but they were sparse and were actually part of the plot #part of the character development. in other books they were just things that happened. Like. the characters are not impacted by it at all.#you could read the end of the book and nothing about the characters change after witnessing these traumatic experiences #they are the same from beginning to end #uh um sorry for the rant O_O #anyways I miss izaaaa #bye

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gods-favorite-autistic · 10 months

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Fic prompt: The Pink Ladies and the T-Birds become convinced that Cynthia’s dating someone and won’t leave her alone until she tells them so she freaks out and tells them she’s dating Buddy

Immediately afterwards she rushes to Buddy’s house and pretty much goes “hey so I know that I’ve told you over and over again how much I hate you but can you pretty please pretend to date me” and he’s like ok fine but you owe me

And so the entire thing is just those two fumbling around trying to convince everyone that they’re dating (which is much harder for Cynthia than it is for Buddy) and the two of them becoming actual friends

#cynthia essentially begs lydia not to be mad but she just thinks it’s the funniest shit #like none of the thespians believe it for a second and some of them are like ‘it’s the heteronormativity talking sweetie’#including mr vaughn #he’s like ‘I did not set you and lydia up day after day just for you to do this #eventually there’s like a messy coming out scene where cynthia tells buddy the real reason she’s pretending to date him #and maybe you could throw in a little bit of wally/buddy in there too with buddy going up to cynthia and having a Bisexual Meltdown #anyways ignore me I’m just spouting nonsense at this point #rotpl #grease rotpl #grease rise of the pink ladies #rise of the pink ladies #cynthia zdunowski #cynthia rotpl #thesbians #lynthia #buddy aldridge #buddy rotpl #i think they would definitely sit down together and bitch about sports #cynthia would absolutely destroy buddy at football #cynthia and buddy friendship supremacy #supportive buddy supremacy #protective friend and boyfriend buddy supremacy

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send-me-a-puffalope · 2 months

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guys wtf i just had the most detailed dream last night about a girlfriend that doesn’t exist,,, like idk how to explain it 😭😭😭 and i don’t even remember her name, it’s at the edge of my memory but i can’t recover it. but i remember like all the events and her face.

#this is the most stupidly worded post i’ve ever made #but it was so fucking sweet 😭😭😭 and somewhere along the line i realized i was dreaming and that i was going to lose her #and it was soul crushing #the most distinct part was when i dropped by her house like i usually did #and she was throwing a party and i squeezed through everyone to find her and then she kind of ignored me so i tried to make my way out again #but then her best friend stops me by the door and asks me if i wanna sing karaoke with them and i was like ???#and when i say oh okay. she says after all [name] threw this party for you #and this girl shows up in the doorway and asks me if i would do the honors of dating her #(and look this girl was way out of my league i assumed so)#(she was a really good artist and collected bunny plushies)#and i #SORRY THIS WHOLE THING IS SO STUPID BUT LIKE IT WAS A VERY POIGNANT DREAM #AND IT WAS VERY SWEET AND I MISS THIS GIRL THAT DOESNF FUCKING EXIST #BECAUSE OF A STUPID DREAM #nat’s rambles

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frecklystars · 8 months

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i know nobody is online to see it rn but GOD it feels so good to be in love again!!!!!!!!! i reached the tag limit on that last reblog of la la land, there's a tag limit of 30 and i originally wrote almost 60 and then i had to keep revising it over and over until i only had 30. i just kept talking abt how much i love sebastian!!! and that's!!! how i'm supposed to be!!!! it's such a huge goddamn relief to start self shipping again even if it's not with TF, i really hope i can come back to my robots one day, but god. god it's such a fucking relief to have seb and six and ken and barbie and harley etc etc etc etc the list hopefully will just keep growing. this love in my chest, this feeling of overwhelming love that makes me actually physically sigh because there's so much love in me... that's how i am supposed to be and i am so relieved to start feeling this way again. i was numb for so long. i'm so grateful for these characters.

#woof #pretty sure i spent at least 20 minutes typing those tags #and then after i finished i was like 'oh there i am'#there's that star in my heart! she's still burning bright after all! she's just hurting. but she isn't gone. maybe she never was #and maybe one day i can finally finally finally come back to TF #but for now. for now. i am holding ryan and margot's characters' hands. all of these characters all of these pretty ppl #and they are guiding me through hell and telling me things are gonna be ok #bc lord knows i tried to throw myself at ANYTHING and NOTHING would stick #i tried watching different movies/cartoons i never saw before. didnt feel loved #tried to watch old things i used to love like SBTM or MLP. didnt feel loved #maybe the trauma was too fresh for me to be able to focus on anything else #but barbie came at the PERFECT time. the STARS ALIGNED JUST RIGHT #and out of any character that could have saved me it was KEN?#its because he makes me laugh. barbie did help MONUMENTALLY with pink #im still struggling with pink sometimes but its definitely majorly improved #like if i look back on myself 2 months ago i COULD NOT look at pink without having a panic attack. insane #but now??? im going thru pink blogs and associating EVERYTHING with margot's barbie #and any time i feel tense i can easily ground myself bc i am associating it with my self ships #im using it in my art again and its such a relief #im not fully myself without starscream but hey. a part of me is here. a part of me is breathed back to life just a little bit #its as if ive been drowning for over a year and finally someone reached out their hands to save me #pull me to the surface and maybe im not on solid ground yet but the waves arent thrashing or pulling me down as much anymore

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09lover · 4 months

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my reaction after ()’s attempt to gaslight me for the uncountable time into trying to repair this broken relationship that they ruined

#es talks #no because why…………#you ended it i didnt do… anything…. (head in hands in disappointment)#story time here.. click for more if u wanna read..?#ill call them (). one day they texted me about our friend who ill call koru who unfollowed(?) them on twt because they kept #commenting (more of in a critical way..) about how their art was missing fingers despite it being drawn correctly. so they tried to somewhat #force me to stop talking to koru and shit talks about them to me…. which i still remained in contact with koru and told them everything #so we stayed as besties and eventually () came by to visit me and eventually found out i was still friends with koru then decided to throw a #temper tantrum and ignore me to the point their mother had to get involved… which still didnt work out after their mother helping us 3 times #then our … like 4 years or longer relationship just went down the drain… all because of that.#unfriended me and also started shit talking me to their friends then just yesterday which i found out today #<- discord btw -> she then sent me multiple messages in some gcs we were in… calling me disgusting & said i shouldnt ignore wtf i did in #an attempt to gaslight me thinking what i did was gen wrong and also guilt tripping me to crawl back to her to beg and apologize as i always #do… but i just had enough ehfjejdje #well ill most likely delete this later just needed to get this out of my system!

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zeetbl33p · 2 months

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...damnit. Why did I end up getting attached to Citrus? Lhclhfo

#will say. the anime is way more non con and uncomfortable than the manga #i do appreciate that these disaster lesbians later find solace and stability. but you dont get to see a lot of that in the anime as #they only start dating at the end of the anime. aka manga chapter 16. the manga continues for 41 chaperts iirc.#and then there's also citrus+. the step sisters thing did also throw me off at first #however they only met at the start of the series when yuzu transfers into the all girl aihara academy #and they only learned they had become step siblings when they both come home to their mom #and she reveals that she (yuzus bio mom) married Mei's bio dad #seriously though. the anime went overboard and extended some of the assault sequences as fan service and just yikes.#they were there in the manga to a lesser extent. for instance the first kiss lasted like 3 panels and a two page spread.#while in the anime it was like 40ish seconds (i went and checked the timecode after reading the original chapter to compare)#oh well #at least it wasnt the first yuri media i encountered? still not entirely sure why ive officially gained citrus brainrot for a week now tho #citrus #meiyuzu #saburouta #if you do plan to check out the series. read the manga unless you're comfortable with 'assault as fan service'#...i will admit to kicking my feet. squeeing. and squeezing a pillow like a schoolgirl reading some of it tho hkrkbfhkd

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magdaclaire · 7 months

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my parents being fucking weird has ruined so many of the activities queers typically salivate over

#my mom and dad used to go axe throwing with my aunt and uncle once a week #my uncle built a forge out of cinder blocks in my backyard and we moved it with us after for like ten years #my dad forged for a long time #even like. making and serving alcohol or some shit. my dad is an alcoholic who used to make his own mead #cottagecore ass lesbians?? my mom was an apothecary and my dad has always had a garden #dark academia ass gay people? my parents get into ethical debates to pass the time when they're in line in stores #art or singing or dancing? my mom was a theatre major her first time through college. we do that here #my mom used to customize jeans for her friends free of charge bc she could just draw on them to stim during long conversations #my siblings and i split up roles in musicals before we start them bc of my mom #dancing is about my grandparents but anyway they were competitive line dancers and that's not the only dance they did #everybody in my family has adhd and/or autism and there are no safe interests in this house #and my siblings would probably say the same thing about shit that i've hyperfixated on in the past that they cannot look at bc i #talked about it too much. i know enough about literature to make any normal person fall asleep. i have a borderline encyclopedic knowledge #of big cats. i literally read a series of encyclopedias as a child because i wanted to have a base knowledge of most things #how was i not diagnosed !!!!!! how did no one diagnose me !!!!!!!#and it's bc everybody in my family thought it was normal for me to read at a collegiate level in first grade. please be so for real rn #this turned into talking about my family's autism but isn't that what it was always about lmao #mer rambles

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mzcain27 · 2 months

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I’m like 3 chapters into ballad of songbirds and snakes and already ms Suzanne Collins is pulling ZERO punches in fleshing out panem

#it kind of makes me want a hunger games rewrite #like it was already brutal but there was obviously stuff she was either vague about or didn’t say but it was obvious if/when you were older #or it came out as part of the movies or she would confirm theories #and part of that is the YA rating and everything #in ballad shes already shown how intrinsically everything is still linked even though the capitol is thriving #and the hunger games are polished and entertaining #the capitol were cannibalising each other #and still did decades later when people would disappear after doing anything even remotely in favour of the districts #the tributes are carted around like animals in literal stock carts and in chains on the train to the capitol #later tributes get dolled up and paraded around but they are still animals being led to slaughter in the lead up to the games #and the victors don’t escape the cages they’re still used and gawked at just like throwing Lucy’s group into the monkey cage #anyway Suzanne Collins is a genius for the hunger games and I’ll never shut up about it #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #Suzanne Collins #tbosas ramblings

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widevibratobitch · 2 months

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aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.

#time to slightly overdose my depression meds again ig lol #anyway. it is a little better with me these last two weeks. turns out the meds do work when you actually take em regularly #but first my best friend's break up that she's blowing up to unimaginable size #acting as if she just got divorced with the love of her life after 20 years #and not ended a few months long relationship with a guy who's been the source of most of her troubles since the moment they started dating #(ofc she's valid and id never tell her that because like. i get it. some people feel stuff more deeply. but its hard to be supportive #when you genuinely feel like this is the best possible outcome for her and that the relationship was only dragging her down all this time)#and now this. and this is gonna be infinitely worse. and then it's gonna get a million times worse when he actually does die.#and i feel like the worst most selfish person ever which like. probably am. but i did tell my cousin who actually knows my mom really well #and she said she understands and that my fears ARE valid because SHE'S terrified of how she's gonna handle my mom #and she wouldn't wanna be me in that situation cause it's gonna be so much worse for me lmao #like i feel like people who know my mother casually really dont understand just how unhinged emotionally she is #anyway. i feel so overwhelmed. i cant handle this jesus.#but im also emotionally unavailable and refuse to actually confide in another person because i dont want to be a bother <3333 #god i love tumblr. i can literally type anything in those tags lol it's the perfect form of venting since you can just scroll by #but i will still have let it out of myself anyway uwu i literally dont need that therapy fr #anyway. i feel so unbelievably fucking lonely and on one hand it's my own fault for withdrawing and refusing to ask for help.#but on the other hand. i AM alone. like there's no one who can help me in this particular situation.#i have no siblings. obviously my dad isnt gonna help. it all falls down to me. good god. i wanna throw up.

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shirtlessradfahrer · 2 months

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hi sorry I disappeared for like two weeks but I was overwhelmed with the news that there's a significant chance I may be on the autism spectrum (and possibly have a nice side helping of adhd) which if true has a fuckton of implications for how poorly many, many things throughout my life have played out, so needless to say I am not doing very well

(and by that I mean I was mostly crying on and off for days, and then cried some more when I realized it will cost thousands if I want to get a proper assessment done and I'm not confident my insurance would cover all of it, and also depending on how much my hours continue to be cut this month I may not even have said insurance for much longer at all hahahaha)

#i'm so angry #thinking of how many adults complained about me and my behaviour growing up but couldn't help me at all #how long have i suffered for no reason #because i wasn't a completely nonverbal boy who liked trains or some shit #...actually i did really like trains but it didn't matter apparently #but learning about all the signs and symptoms in girls/women has felt like getting punched in the gut over and over #and all the absolute worst of my childhood and teenage years has rushed back to me with new context #and i'm so fucking angry and sad and upset #and now my mom is angry af too because she took me to a psychologist in complete desperation when i was like five #because i couldn't control my emotions for shit once i was home from school #i would just flip tf out and throw stuff around my room and be incapable of saying anything until i had completely calmed down #and this was happening on a regular basis and she didn't know what tf to do #and while at school i couldn't make eye contact or advocate for myself and again i just shut down completely if i was too stressed or upset #and several other things #and the psychologist was basically like lol idk what's wrong with her but you probably just need to be a better mother :)#just slightly more professionally #NO ONE ever mentioned the possibility of autism to her #and i feel like some of these things have...worsened when i'm at work but i couldn't figure out why i was having so much difficulty #and why i felt so drained after even a short shift #but then reading about masking hit me like a fucking freight train #and apparently my brother’s girlfriend-who was officially diagnosed a few years ago-suspected it when she first met me??#but idk what to do now bc i have an doctor's appointment next week #and i feel like i should bring it up because i hate just self-diagnosing #but even if i somehow managed to pay for an assessment (lmao) i don't feel like my doctor's going to take it seriously #considering he's been our family doctor since my birth #and apparently couldn't be bothered to take my mom's concerns that seriously back then either #jfc I’m rambling again don’t look at me

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nostalgia-tblr · 1 year

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If I could do Fics With A Plot I'd probably attempt An AU Where Lauffey Dies And Odin Goes "Oh Hey, Frost Dudes, I Had Your Heir All Along :D He's Urs Now :D" Except Because This Is A Shit Plan It Does Not Go At All Well. Because it does bother me. Because I worry too much about fictional monarchies having the 'wrong' rules. D:

#this of course means odin has also has to tell his son “btw we lied to you. GUESS WHAT THO!! I GOT U A JOB!!”#and he sends Thor along because a) characters need other characters to talk to and b) he does in fact expect trouble #and I reckon after some sort of tense Confrontation about how if Lauffey wanted rid of his son he should have the guts to make sure he died #instead of leaving it to fate like a COWARD #Loki would - by power of poshness alone - manage to convince one or two Jotuns that he does indeed count as the heir #meanwhile: existential crisis D: D: D:#but hey free kingdom nothing to sneeze at eh? let's go! we can do this!#except (obviously) no. you can't. there is NO WAY there's nobody out there with a counterclaim.#and if your WORST ENEMY raised your new king (who has a questionable claim) you absolutely manage to find a third cousin from somewhere far #off who also has a shaky claim but - here's the thing - he's not an obvious attempt to impose Odin's puppet on your realm #and then Plot would unfold which is why i cant write this despite my Weird Niche Interests being aroused (NOT LIKE THAT) by this idea #also i would answer the “was there no mother involved? did she not mind the infanticide thing?” (could go either way on that really)#essentially Loki does have Scheming Politician energy but sometimes the task really is just impossible #but perhaps surprisingly the ending is a heartwarming reunion and maybe - MAYBE - some sort of vague apology #because that really was The Worst Fucking Plan Of All Time #okay someone stop me making a new file (you-and-whose-army.rtf) and writing the extensive notes i've now got in my head D:#(but an AU so not really!)#do you want a civil war on jotunheim because this is how you get a civil war on jotunheim #...oh no DO you want a civil war on jotunheim?! D: D: was THAT the plan??? D: D:#i'd totally throw in an Ambitious Consort Queen because those are my jam <3 <3 <3 #fic-related #thor movies

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rosyredlipstick · 1 year

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awwwww im cleaning off my desk for the first time since february (rip) and i found some post its from when i first started the slasher fic with notes like “the mixtape SURVIVES” (originally it was a nothing plot prop that got shattered </3) “BEWARE OF BEARS” and “travis flirts with mitchell” hahaha the essentials

#i also found the note where i planned out the chapters like chap 1 - summer camp slasher nico pov :))))#chapter 2 - will pov scream #chap 3 IT <3 #and all done!#estimated each chapter to be 10k <3333 i will admit i sent this plan to rina and she laughed #also in the first draft k/n/m met the stolls at the ER immediately after being brought in but ultimately this didnt work at all #(brought in from their night of hell<3)#however mitchell did throw up on connors shoes before they even spoke once and connors still like. uh. hey. u live round here?#u have a name? please tell me your name #hahahaha #slasher fic

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larrylimericks · 2 years

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24Aug22

King Midas’s touch was so golden, His lust for more wildly swollen; But greed begat ruin, And worth’s an illusion When fame (and the headline) are stolen.

#larry #harry #harry styles #holivia #stunts #olivia wilde #christ what was that variety cover #nine months after harry's variety cover olivia now gets her hand-me-down #the cover line for his issue was 'wild about harry'#and the cover line for hers is 'she's so golden'#(twitter of course trended 'louis is so golden')#and these were absolutely part of a two-for-one package deal #just like the vogue covers #the article's as insufferable as you'd expect #she rhapsodizes herself #throws jason under the bus #plays up dwd's female pleasure (mEN dON'T CoME!)#implies she fired shia to which he was brought out the receipts today that she did not #acknowledges it was florence's movie but talks at length about harry #florence declined to be interviewed for it #and harry('s publicist) contributed via email #and the photo aesthetic is melania trump slumming around the gold palace while donald golfs #she wears a strawberry shirt in one photo #in case the headline and literal 22 mentions of his name #weren't enough to connect her to him #at this point i'm expected a dwd musical duet a la gaga and bradley #limerick-hs #august 24 #2022

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pieofdeath · 6 months

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Btw truly the worst part of writing ROTD is remembering where Pumpkin is at all times.

#ROTD #Ok so Pumpkins actual movie counterpart is a dog named Scraps #Kevin = Victor and Dan = Emily #But scraps is only in two scenes in the entire movie #When Emily gives him to Victor #And one brief throw-away that's like three seconds long near the end of the movie #(around chapters 16-18 for comparisons sake) (I'm not sure because I added a chapter)#And it's like. Did Tim Burton forget about him or #And I'm following (for the most part) the pacing of the movie #And when planning I sat down and meticulously wrote out every plot point of the movie after forcing my parents to buy me the DVD #And then I fleshed out the plot points #This took like four days and SEVERAL rewatches of the movie #ANYWAY #BECAUSE SCRAPS ISNT IN ANY OF THESE SCENES (NOT EVEN LIKE. IN THE BACKGROUND) IM CONSTANTLY FORGETTING ABOUT PUMPKIN #WHICH IS BAD BECAUSE SHES MY BABY.#AND IM LIKE SHIT WHERE DID I PUT HER AGAIN #WHERE IS SHE.#The answer btw is that I left her with Gabriel lol

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youmustfixyourheartt · 6 months

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whatever i think we need to talk about simon fairchild's, nikola orsinov's, gerry keay's/and or mary keay, and elias bouchard's commitment to their various bits going

#like come ON #nikola REALLY leaning in to the fucked up circus thing #stranger could have literally been any other thing like those fucked up robots that look like real people #but she continued the circus thing what a legend. like to more effectively modernize her fear she could have done the silicon valley robots #but nahhh forget that. whatever circus's arent MODERN but they're cool looking and i can make them so fucked up #elias just acting incompetent and then you find out hes just The Worlds Biggest Asshole really leaning in to the all knowing all watching-#-hes actually just a douchebag thing? what a fucking king #simon threatening to throw martin off a rollercoaster???#literally JUMPING out of a ski-lift as part of his little quest to feed his fear #are you fucking kidding me king shit #AND MARY #HOLY SHIT #just when you think she's died she haunts her son for five fucking years in the most annoying and psychologically cruel way possible #like she could have just annoyed him but she went out of her way to make him feel trapped and even after death #he could never ever be free of her #also her killing a guy with a straight razor at age nine for a book is commitment far beyond anything ive ever seen #and then gerry just showing the fuck up freaking out a statement giver but hey hes not so bad he did save me but what the fuck where did he #come from. what the fuck. god his hair dye is atrocious #absolutely obsessed #stickers lore

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