#no sam dont go in there alone says Castiel | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aviradasa · 1 month

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I got you 🖤 to make this authentic I smoked a fat ass blunt just for you anyways I did the characters you requested plus a few extra and I decided to do small HC/ drabbles cause I have to many imagines atm 🤣 anyways also I added nuada from hellboy 2 cause he's pookie all the way @horny4bj-blog

Characters included:

Hellboy (2004)

Prince nuada ( hellboy 2, 2008)

Daryl (Alexandria timeline)

Sam (supernatural)

Dean (supernatural)

Castiel (supernatural

Lucifer (supernatural)

Let's get startedddd

Different characters react to you stoned/couch-logged

Hellboy:

Honestly was not surprised when he walked into him room one day to it smelling entirely of weed. Honestly he was mostly impressed because not only did it smell. But when the door opened all that came out was smoke.

Like damn.

When he went to venture further he was also not surprised when he saw you sprawled out on the couch with like 6 cats laying on you.

You didnt register him calling your name until he threw a candybar at your face

This is pretty much how it went

“Hey???” “…” “Hellooo??” “…” “Hey!” “Ow fuck what do you want.” you say as you open the candy bar and take a bite

Honestly he doesn't really care but he expects you to share you weed with him. If you don't he will lowkey just take it without asking and deal with you later. (no he won't pay you back hes always magically broke when you ask him to 😒)

As for you being on the couch he tells you to move over. If you don't he moves you himself.

He finds it funny to mess with you when you get to the point when you think everything is in slow motion And your basically not registering anything the way your supposed to

Like one time yall played Uno. And you were at the point you couldn't even read the cards and you were slumped over leaning on the back of the couch like a corpse thinkin the number 6 was the funniest shit on earth

And what did he do.convinced you to give him your cards so he could read them to you.in your state you agreed. That prick (this is based off a true story i have a lot of these adafia if you see this. Fuck you I should have one that game 🖕)

Yeah naw i dont have much for him he's just an asshole who also smokes so he don't really care yall end up watching a lot of movies though.

Nuada:

Now he's interesting with this idea lmao

He's confused as fuck cause he don't really do shit that could alter his mind, he want to stay sharp and ready for anything (boring fuckaaaa)

He at first acts like a disappointed mother

“ now why would you go and do this to yourself knowing what we have to do.” “because I'm a whole ass adult and it makes it more fun.” “that's besides the point (name)” part of a real argument yall had at one point

Yeah like don't get me wrong he doesn't hate weed he just thinks it makes you act dumb

He's lowkey right though

But anyways back to the prompt. When he walks in and your just spaces out in your bed he just shakes his head and goes to do what he needs to do.

If you are logged somewhere is his way this man with nudge/kick you with his foot until you move and if you don't he will just use his foot to roll you out of the way.

He acts like he doesn't care and to be frank he doesn't have the energy to put into caring about something so dumb so he leaves you alone.

But then there was the one time that he accidentally ate an edible.

He took that shit like a champ though and was able to function decently, but for the most part he was just chillin just silently staring off into space

He says he would never do that again. But you decide not to say anything when you notice some of your edibles missing.

Bro thinks he's slick 🤣🤣

Sam:

Ok gonna be honest his brother is dean. Need I say more

He knows what to do he pulls up with the munchies and some red box movie

If your slumped on the couch this man will sit on the floor

Y'all can talk for hours even if he is sober

Or you pass out from him typing on the computer cause I mean that sound is just relaxing.

Honestly don't have much for him he's just a chill guy

Dean:

He don't walk in

He's slumped with you on the other side of the couch

He eats all the damn munchies

He refuses to watch anything besides old Scooby doo reruns.

(he has a crush on the hex girls)

He's literally just a grown up child when he's high (not much different then normal)

Yall are laughing high people

The jokes are hilarious

Cass

He walks in and sees you on the couch looking half dead and he's confused

Like really confused

“Are you ok?” “huh?” are you ok??” “HUH??” “nevermind.”

He doesn't know what to do so he does nothing 😭😭

If you ask he will get you snacks

He's kinda hard to talk to so if you are laughing its at him not knowing anything

(these are getting short cause of my beautiful bong so its not my fault blame daisy that's my bongs name.)

Lucifer:

Ok let be honest here

He's lucifer he's hilarious

If you wanna feel like your gonna suffocate from laughing then he's your guy

He doesn't even try to be funny he just says out of pocket shit.

All the time

I haven't seen much of his character yet but he's already a favorite

I don't think he would light up with you unless you peer pressure him

Yes you have to peer pressurethe damn devil to smoke the devils lettuce with you.

If yall do he just spaces in and out while your on your phone on that couch unmoving

But during this spacing in and out he just says weird shit

I dare you to show him the dark crystal afterwords tho just trust me.

Daryl:

This man could not give less of a fuck

He's used to seeing people on all sorts of shit so some weed don't scare him

He just goes about his day

He will sit and chat with you

He's a horrible high sitter tho

If you get to high he's your worst nightmare

Will throw fake spiders and shit at you knowing your on that couch to see you jump

He's lowkey funny tho 🤣

He might smoke with you once in awhile

It's rare tho he's more of a drinker

Anyways that's all for today hope you enjoyed dis shitz

Edit: sorry I sounded like a fuckin idiot here also sorry I forgot Crowley and carol 😭😭 I wrote for nuada took a break forgot it was nuada and gaslit myself into thinking I wrote for Crowley 🤣🤣

didnt mean to but its really late and I'm to lazy to write for them rn so I hope you enjoy what I got down please forgive me🖤🖤 also sorry nuadas there you didnt ask for him I was just living it up with daisy at that moment.

#hellboy #prince nuada #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #lucifer supernatural #daryl dixon #mary #jane #devils #lettuce #girls who smoke weed #weedlife

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supernaturalgirl31 · 2 years

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My heart belongs to castiel. So deal with it

Y/N and castiel were keeping there Relationship hidden from dean and sam although somrthing told y/n that sam knew . She was in her room looking at her necklace that castiel gave her

Castiel walks in her room amd saw her holding it . "Y/n everything alright?" "Ya im good im thinking that its time to tell my bothers about us " "are you sure?" "Yes" she puts the necklace on and walks in the main room . "We have to talk " sam and dean look at there sister . "Forget it sis your not goi g hunting alone " "this isn't about a case dean its about me and Castiel ". What about you and him ?" Y/n tock a deep breath. "Me and Castiel are together as in dateing each other " dean scoffs "are you nuts y/n hes "DAM ANGLE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD " "so what i dont care about what he is . I care about being happy and im sorry but with the life we have thats heard to Maintain. Castiel gose to talk . "Look even if you didnt want us together i cant stop seeing her if i wanted to . She's my mate dean and i love her with all my heart" he gose to hold her hand " sam smiled . "Thats sweet you guys " "sweet? Come on sam she human what happens if she ends up carrying his baby do you not remember Jake's mother?" "That wont happen to y/n said castiel. Y/n stands infront of dean and castiel. "Look i cant help who i fell in love with but you habe a choice. You Can accept my heart belongs to castiel or I leave. Castiel was shocked at what she said . "Fine we accept it but it dosent mean i approve it " "ya will you dont have a say in it " she gose to leave . "Were you going?" "Relax i will be back in a few weeks . I just need sometime to my slef . Castiel leaves with her . "Dont worry i will keep her safe . " "ok just call if you need help with things said sam . As they left . Dean looks at his bother . "Really?" "What?"

Castiel was driving to the cabin he had in a small town where he went to relax from time to time . Y/n was reading a book. "Dont you get car sick ?"

"Not really " she looks upmat him . "So tell me aging why you wanted me to come with you ?" "So we could have time alone and this way we dont have to worry about the guys walking in on us " he smricks. She holds his hand . "I love you " "love you to " he smiled and kissed her hand

#supernatural #castiel x reader #cas+x+reader #misha collins

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killed-by-cas-confession · 3 years

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God, imagine the dynamic we would’ve had in season 16 though. Like, this is Supernatural, and this is Dean, he would not have addressed the confession right away, he would’ve been so lost and confused and pissed and repressing. like we don’t get dean saying I love you immediately but you can FEEL that something has changed, just like I think a lot of us did in Season 15, and you could feel it all in Cas and Dean’s interactions. Like imagine Dean rescuing Cas, and cupping his face and his eyes screaming a thousand different words - how the hell could you do that- how can you love me- how can anyone love someone like me- especially something like you- someone ineffable- how the hell did you expect me to leave you here after you didn’t let me say it back- you idiot why did you make a deal- how dare you make me lose you again-- And then Cas is rescued and they trap God with an army of angels from the empty and after everything is finally wrapped up, Cas gives dean that pining look that does the same thing -i never thought id see you again- and i can tell you’re angry with me- i had to do what i did to protect you- to save you- because it was always you- and im grateful you didnt give up on me tho i dont understand why you didnt- but now what?- Dean feels things acutely and blows up so should i say anything or wait to see what even comes of it- should i apologize- And Dean just finds Miracle and they say their goodbyes to Jack and we get a Cas/Jack hug like we deserved and then Dean looks at Cas and says “Lets go home” and then we get a whole other season of hunting things mixed with emotional conflict as the boys figure things out- no big bad on the horizon, just their fucking emotional trauma and turmoil that they havent addressed in 15 years. And we get Dean being overprotective of Cas, we get him protecting him, bringing him on hunts, trying to leave him behind when the job looks too dangerous, saving a kidnapped Castiel in a case here, if hes human, helping bandage his wounds there, and Cas getting angry when Dean puts himself in harms way to protect him and sam, until eventually they cant be left alone for a second becauuse the tension and unsaid words become palpable And then Dean eventually explodes. Maybe a hunt goes wrong and Cas almost dies, maybe Dean messes up, but he explodes, in the middle of the night, and ends up on the verge of tears because ‘you made a stupid deal and you said all those things and then you left me and what the hell am i supposed to do with that man?’ and ends up just finally pulling him into a kiss with tears in his eyes and his hands shaking and then Sam could fucking hear them yelling and be just about to break it up and then stops once Dean starts pouring his feelings and fucking see them and smile because he knows his brother is finally accepting his happiness and finally feeling happy and hes just so proud and he teases like the little brother he is and i just UGH So anyway, how is everyone else coping?

#destiel #deancas #casdean

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shatteredatthealtarofwinchester · 3 years

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Umm, wait. It's more a 15x20 rant than an analysis. I'll call it... a ranalysis. 😏

I just saw J*reds last online panel again, where he called the finale "magical full circle storytelling". 15x20 is his "favourite episode ever" because he "is a fan of good storytelling". Uh-huh... Okay. So the following just was built on pure rage. This makes it more of a rant than an analysis. As usual. You guys know me.

Well. There are various possibilities here, Jared. Possibility A is, you are lying, what I do not believe. To lie that obvious you have to be a talented actor, which you are not. Possibility B is, you really think that way. You believe, the finale was "magical full circle storytelling" and you actually loved it, it was indeed your favourite episode. This again brings me to the only conclusion: You have no fucking idea about good storytelling, not even decent storytelling.

Lets look at every single ending, shall we?

Dean. We all know you think Deans death was a "success story." You think that Dean "ultimately gave his life for his number one on planet." I am sitting here, laughing in pain. First of all, let me say that Dean didn't died for Sam, Jared. He didn't took a bullet for Sam or sacrificed himself or whatsoever. He died in the most ridiculous accident I've ever seen. But lets go back to the very start.

Dean’s childhood was highly abusive. Dean was 4 years old when he saw his mother burning alive and learned that monsters are real. In that age he developed PTSD and stopped talking. Dean had a childhood with a father that was an alcoholic and physically and mentally abusive, who had believed that Dean had a “killer instinct". When Dean was about 6 years old, John forced him into a nurturing role for Sam. In the same age Dean was forced into the soldiers role as well when John taught him how to shoot and hunt. Dean had to obey orders without questioning. If he acted “out of line,” (aka something John didn’t like) John chewed him out or left them alone. Dean was trained to be Daddy’s blunt instrument. Dean gave up his own life to keep Sam safe, because he had no other choice. More than a brother Dean had to be a father and a mother to Sam. He suppressed everything, every psychological pain, every emotion, he just lived to protect Sam and to obey as Johns blunt soldier. Short: Dean gave up HIMSELF for Sam and John. Not because Dean wanted to, because he was forced into it! Dean hated himself, he was suicidal. He was convinced he isn’t worthy of anything, especially not being loved. Dean never had a life for his own, never had a choice, never had a chance, never had own original thoughts, never felt safe or loved. He was used to being left. He felt like he was nothing. Worthless. He was dead inside. Broken. You get what I mean, Jared? Since you own a mental health campaign, you should. And guess what Dean did? He kept fighting. Despite everything, he kept fighting. And his mindset slowly changed. He understood that his father was an abusive bastard, he unterstood that he was forced into a life he never wanted. He understood that he is more than that, that he is not like John. He changed. He opened up. He even wanted to retire. And now it gets interesting, because something happened that REALLY is the start of magical full circle storytelling. Something in Deans mind clicked while Cas' confession. His confession was fundamental to Dean to finally accept his own goodness and the value of his life and love, of his identity. It was the moment of breaking free of the structure that had controlled and corrupted him his entire life. It was the only way out of his abusive and traumatizing cage to experience something for his own the very first time. For the first time in his life he had a chance. A choice. The start of his very own life. Free will, baby! Well, no. Because exactly in that moment he stumbled into a nail and died. Do you even realize how dumb this is? Do you even realize what you did? Wait, it gets worse. Yeah, that's possible, even if you dont believe it. In heaven he goes right back to the life he has spent his whole journey learning to free himself from: Left only with the persons he had been forced, time and time again, to sacrifice his identity, goals, and soul for. None of the family, support, or love, nothing he has built or chosen for himself remains. This is not magical full circle storytelling, Jared. This is abysmal pointless butchering. This has NOTHING, not a single percent of magical or good storytelling! YOU call that magical? YOU call that a success? Seriously, what shit are you on? If it would've been full circle storytelling, there is not one single fucking possibility that Dean would've died in the end. I don't know whats going on in your twisted brain, but Deans death never was and never will be a success. To make it magical full circle storytelling, he MUST have been the one who survives and overcomes his trauma (and raise a certain someone from perdition.)

Sam. He's actually the one who kinda got the best ending, huh? I mean, it was fucking horrific, but it was the best if you compare it to the others. When Sam was young, he wanted a normal life far away from hunting, while the truth is, Sam always was more like John than Dean ever will be. Over time his mindset clearly changed. He even said: "When Dean came to get me at school, I told myself, one last job, you know, (...) it was always one more job and then I was gonna go back to law and to my life. I guess, I really understand now that THIS is my life. And I love it." Sam couldn't imagine a normal life anymore. He had the chances for that and he declined. He loved hunting. He loved working and making progress with the BMOL, he very much enjoyed being a MOL and even took the lead often. I can clearly picture Sam as the lead of a rebuilt version of the MOL, that would've made sense. What did Sam get? Right, the ending he didn't wanted anymore, but since we yeet every single development of every single character out of the window, Sam has to be Season 1 Sam again, BUT with a fancy party wig! And there he is! And what a happy life he lives, exactly what he wanted, woohoo! So much joy, so much fun! Oh look, there is BlurryWife™, who Jared made sure is not Eileen, because “Dean wouldn’t want Sam to be with Eileen”. But wait, didn't Dean wanted Sam to be with Eileen? Didn't Dean literally said: "If it was to work, Eileen, you know... She gets it, she gets us, she gets the life. You could do worse. And she could certainly do better, like SO much better. I'm happy for you, Sammy." Yeah, NO. This was just a writing AND acting AND producing mistake and had no matter at all. *cough* So... As you can see, magical storytelling strikes again. I can feel the magic, I can feel the full circle, it's... Amazing...

Castiel. Castiels story was magical, it was mindblowing. I've never in my entire life seen such a meaningful and deep storyline and I mean this. It's fucking massive. There is this blunt angel soldier, one of the post powerful forces, who was built to blindly obey, who lived for aeons of years, who wasn't supposed to feel anything, but he fell for a broken, suicidal, abused human who never felt loved or worthy the very moment he touched him. He fell so hard he rebelled against his own race, against his own family, against everything he had without any safety. He was the ONLY one in Chuck-knows-how-many universes who GREW outside of Chucks CONTROL! His love was so fucking massive, it couldn't be controlled by the God who built every-fucking-thing. Chuck built millions(?) of parallel universes, heaven, hell, life, death, purgatory, the empty, he created every single being, the light, darkness, every single angel, demon, leviathan, monster, animal, plant, sea, blade of grass, every centimeter of mountains, the four seasons, emotions, what the fuck ever. Everything you can ever think of, Chuck created it. And he controlled it. In every single one of his fucking millions of universes. But not Castiel.This is actually not possible. You can't outrun god. You can't outrun the one who creates, writes and controlles everything. But Cas did. Out of love. And not only that, you also imply that what happened between Dean and Cas was the only thing that was real. Everything else was corrupted, controlled, manipulated, written by Chuck. But what happened between Dean and Cas, he couldn't affect.

Seeing Cas standing there, crying, confessing his love to Dean actually even makes me think that Dean made Cas human. Dean completed Cas. Cas didn't simply said "I love you", he actually said "In all existing universes, in all millions, all aeons of years, you are my only happiness." And Cas completed Dean. He freed Dean. While Dean was used to being left, was used to feeling worthless and unlovable, Cas saw Dean exactly the way he is and chose to stay. With every obstacle, every difficulty he loved him even more and yes, freed him from the abusive structure that had controlled and corrupted him his entire life. Something that no one else could, not his parents, not Amara, not God, not even Sam. Beautiful, isn't it? Unique. Mindblowing. Pure. You enjoyed it? Let's fuck this up in 3...2...1...

Castiels story ended exactly the same way it started. A blunt angel who doesn't care about people and feelings, blindly carrying out instructions from a new God, obeying heaven. No progress. They threw away 12 years of character development and managed to give him the same stupid and senseless ending like they did with Dean. Dean died and Cas... Wasn't there?! WHAT!? There is no single fucking way Cas wouldn't save Dean or wouldn't be there when Dean enters heaven! There. Is. No. Fucking. Way! The way they represented Cas in the end doesn't only imply that Dean isn't important to Cas anymore, he even ended up exactly the same way as if Season 4-15 wouldn't have happened. The ending is exactly the same! He's with God in heaven, supporting him with instructions, not caring about anything else.

Okay, I got it. Summarizing you can say: Jareds "magical full circle storytelling" is to yeet 95% of the past 15 years. No other characters matter, the story itself doesn't matter, every single characters development doesn't matter, it even doesn't matter what the brothers really want, they don't get it anyway.

Okay. But that's not all. As if this wasn't bad enough, they didn't just butchered ... EVERYTHING, they also salted and burnt every single Mantra they ever stood for. I'll make these short, I promise!

Team Free Will. *snort* Dean couldn't escape his fate, he always believed he'll die on a hunt as Daddys blunt instrument and he did. He kept fighting to die exactly the way he felt he was "supposed to". Message? No matter how hard you keep fighting, no matter how long you'll keep it up, you can't escape your fate. Sam couldn't change his fate, he ended how he started. Cas couldn't change his fate, he ended how he started, same for Jack, he ended how he was supposed to. YEET THE FREE WILL, NONE OF THEM CAN CHANGE ANYTHING!

Family don't end with blood. The biggest lie that has ever been told. Do I even have to explain that? No need, right? Don't make me wanna throw up again, please. We all know that 15x20 blasted "Family don't end with blood" in millions of pieces.

Always keep fighting. THE AUDACITY to praise that while Dean is dying! After everything Dean has dealt with, It makes me wanna scream. Dean kept fighting, he always kept fighting, no matter how hard it was, no matter what forced him to his knees, he stood up again, and if he wasn't able to stand up, he crawled. He kept fighting no matter what, despite everything. His mindset changed. He wanted to live, he wanted to experience things, feelings and people differently or even for the first time. He changed. He wanted to retire, toes in the sand. He knew he earned it. Thats why he kept fighting. For what? To die the very first moment he had a free will. To die the very first moment he had a choice, had a life to build for himself. Always keep fighting, but the moment you come close to what you want, what you fought for, you die. It's been more than 3 months and I am having tears in my eyes while typing this. As for Dean, no matter how hard you fight, no matter how long you fight, you don't reach what you deserve anyway. Give up. As for Sam, AKF leeds to Emptiness. Grief. Psychological Trauma. Mental illness. Absolutely nothing worth fighting for.

I wanna go cry now, bye.

#jensen ackles #misha collins #j*red p*dalecki #spn #spnfandom #supernatural #spnfamily #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #deancas #dean #cas

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mersuperwholocked-lowlife · 3 years

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Don’t Say Goodbye

Word Count: 1,819

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester (brief), John Winchester (brief), Reader

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader

Warnings: angst

A/N: it’s not good u dont have to read plz dont

Masterlist

“Dad, please. All I’m saying is that… Hey! Listen to me!” you ran in front of John, blocking him from the door.

“Move, now,” he glared, clenching his jaw.

“Do you even care about us?” you scoffed, crossing your arms.

“(Y/N), get out of the way. Now,” he said.

“It’s Dean’s birthday. It’s Dean’s 13th birthday and you’re leaving. Again. Have you ever been here for one of his birthdays?” you raised your voice.

“You know, we don’t have a mother. We don’t even have you to call our dad. Yeah, leave again. Don’t even bother coming back at this point,” John kept quiet, only shoving past you as he slammed the door shut behind you.

You let out a sharp exhale, sitting down as you rubbed your head.

Why did it have to be like this? Sam and Dean were out at some library, Sam’s choice. You planned to surprise them when they got home, but apparently, John had another hunt to get to.

You let out a huff as you grabbed your jacket, going to the library to meet them.

---

“(Y/N),” Sam was resting on your back, while you held him tightly.

“Yeah, Dean?” you asked.

“Is Dad coming home soon?” you looked next to you, looking at your younger brother.

“Dad’s gonna be home when he can. But for now, we can have some fun! What do you want to do? Sam’s passed out so it’s just me and you for the night, kiddo,” you ruffled his hair as he pushed away from you.

“That’s so embarrassing, (Y/N)!” he exclaimed.

You laughed softly, holding his hand as the two of you made your way to the apartment.

---

“Did you eat breakfast?” you asked Dean.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“Sammy, you too?” you turned to your younger brother.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“Okay, let’s go,” you nodded, opening the door for the two of them.

“Did you eat breakfast, (Y/N),” Dean mocked your question.

“I’ll eat after I drop you two off at school,” Sam walked to the car, sitting in the backseat peacefully.

“How come you got to drop out of school? It’s not fair,” Dean grunted.

“Because I’m older than you,” you replied.

“That’s not a fair answer,” he said.

“Get in the car, Dean,” you rolled your eyes.

“What do you even do all day?” he scoffed.

“Car. Now,” you were used to Dean always questioning you, Sam being the only one who listened.

He muttered something to himself, sitting in the passage seat as he looked out the window.

---

“No,” you ran behind John.

“It's not your choice, (Y/N),” he said.

He agreed it was time for Dean’s first hunt.

“No, Dad. It's not safe,” you said.

“He's 15, (Y/N), it is time,” John argued.

“So what? We made a deal, Dad. Sam and Dean will not hunt until they’re old enough to make decisions this big,” you yelled at John.

“I need an extra hand,” John yelled.

“Then I’ll go with you! They can stay with Bobby, but under no circumstances are you going to make them hunt!” you yelled.

John made you hunt when you were as old as 8 years old. You hated hunting more than anything. But if you had to do it to keep your brother's safe, then you would.

“We’re leaving in 5 minutes. Be ready,” you nodded, running back to the motel room and started to gather some clothes.

---

“(Y/N), your eye!” Sam exclaimed, looking up at you.

“I’m fine, Sammy. It doesn't even hurt,” you said, closing the door behind you.

John was already gone.

You could feel your vision blur slightly but kept strong as you sat on the bed.

“Here,” Sam handed you an ice pack.

“Thanks, kid…. wait, where’s Dean?” you asked, realizing he wasn't there.

“He went out somewhere,” Sam said.

“What?! He left you here? Alone?!” you exclaimed, standing up.

“I-It’s okay, I’m a big kid,” Sam replied.

“You’re not a big kid, you’re 12. Get in the car. Do you know where the party is?” you said.

Your body and eye ached out in pain, as you bit your lip, taking a deep breath.

“Yeah. It’s….”

---

“You just embarrassed me in front of all those people!” Dean yelled, as you slammed the hotel door.

“You left Sam home alone!” you yelled at him.

“(Y/N), really, I’m fine,” Sam intervened.

“No, it’s not fine! Sam… just go in the bathroom!” you yelled.

Sam nodded softly, sitting in the bathroom as he closed the door.

“I don’t know why it’s a big deal! It’s one party!” Dean yelled, frustrated.

“It doesn't matter! You left him, by himself! He is 12, Dean! He is a child! A child in a hotel room by himself in the middle of the night!” you yelled.

“That’s not fair! Why should I have to sacrifice my life for him?!” Dean yelled.

“Because that's what being an older sibling is, Dean! You sacrifice your life for the sake of your brother! What if something happened to him, Dean?! What if he got hurt? What if a creature went after him?!” you screamed.

“Nothing happened! He was fine! You're so dumb and paranoid all the time! Nothing happened and nothing was going to happen!” you felt a pang in your chest as Dean spoke. You were taking away his life, his freedom. Just like John did to you.

“Go to bed,” you said softly.

“That's all you have to say now? Really?” Dean scoffed.

You opened the bathroom door, as Sam stood up.

“Both of you go to bed, it's late,” you said.

Sam nodded, walking to his bed.

You closed the door behind you, sitting on the ground as you held your head in your hands, ignoring the powerful burning sensation in your eye.

---

It would be easier to imagine that to be the worst argument that happened between you and Dean, but it wasn't the truth. Things only got worse after that, the two of you arguing about everything. The relationship between you two was now broken, and there wasn't any fixing it.

Sam left for Stanford. You were happy he got out. As time went on, you couldn't control if Sam and Dean hunted, you couldn't help them, they didn't need you anymore. John made it clear he didn't need you anymore.

He would send you on hunts by yourself, or with some random hunter, while he would go on hunts with Sam and Dean. Having a weak relationship with Dean also meant a worse one with Sam.

You and Dean had another fight. He was mad Sam left, he was mad that Sam abandoned the two of you. You were happy, you were proud.

Dad died. He sold his soul to save Dean. You should've done it first. You tried to talk to Dean, tell him it wasn't his fault. He only got mad at you. Another fight. You soon realized that it wasn't just the relationship between you and Dean that was broken, it was you.

Dean sold his soul to save Sam. He has a year left. He never talked about it, he never talked to you. After he died, you did the only thing you could. You sold your soul to bring him back. Unfortunately for you, you didn't know about Castiel, and how he was bringing Dean back. You were tricked. There was still a timer on your soul, a three-year timer, and there was no way out of it.

It was now your last month. Dean just came back from Purgatory, and you spent the last year looking for him. Your hallucinations had already started. You could feel your chest aching painfully as you took deep breaths. You had to tell them, but not just yet. In a little.

Time flew too fast. It was your last two days. Now or never.

“Sam’s not here right now,” Dean barely acknowledged you as you walked into the room.

“I know, I needed to talk to you,” you took a deep breath.

He turned around, facing you as he put his book down, crossing his arms.

“Is it important? I have other things to do,” he said.

You felt your face drop as you ran your fingers through your hair.

“N-No, we can talk later,” you said.

No, we can't. There won't be a later

He sighed, walking out of the room. You tried to speak, you tried to stop him, but you couldn't. You ran to your room, locking the door as you buried your face in your pillow, crying softly.

---

Your eyes were red as you walked to Dean, tears in your eyes. You had to tell him, you had to say something.

“I’m busy,” he said, turning his back to you.

“Just put the fucking book down,” he raised an eyebrow, turning to you before eyes widening, putting the book down.

“(Y/N)-” he started.

“I’ve spent the last three years trying to figure out how to say this. Just listen. I’m sorry, Dean, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry we didn't fix things between us, I’m sorry for ruining your life or whatever. But I care about you, and I love you because you're my younger brother. And that's never going to change. I only wanted the best for you and Sam, that's why I made your life a living hell and I’m sorry,” you stopped, as you took a shaky breath, looking down. Your heart was beating painfully fast, and your vision was blurred.

“Why are you saying that?” he tensed slightly, looking at you.

“Please, take care of yourself and take care of Sammy,” you bit your lip, holding in your cries.

You turned your back to him, closing your eyes.

“Stop it. Why are you saying goodbye? (Y/N),” Dean put his hands on your shoulders, turning you around to face him.

“What did you do?” he asked.

You stayed quiet, taking deep breaths.

“What did you do, (Y/N)?” he raised his voice.

“I’m sorry,” your voice broke.

He wrapped his arms around you tightly, sniffling.

“I-I need you, you can’t… don’t… don’t say goodbye, (Y/N), please,” you could feel your heart breaking as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“Dean,” you started.

“(Y/N), you’re the best person I-I have. I’m sorry that I’ve been a bitch, but just listen. You sacrificed everything for us. You took care of us, you kept us safe. I never understood it before, but I get it now. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you let out a soft cry as you squeezed him tightly.

“I-I have to g-go now. I don’t want to be here when it happens,” you whispered.

“No, I want to stay with you. Please,” he begged.

The two of you held onto each other tightly, crying. There was nothing more you could ask for.

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural angst #supernatural family #SPN #spn fic #SPN FANDOM #spn angst #dean #dean winchester #dean winchester angst #dean winchester imagines #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x sister!reader #dean winchester x sister #dean winchester x sister reader #dean winchester x platonic!reader

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onionsaremeansstuff · 3 years

Text

Barriers fall

Pairing: Castiel x reader

Gender: Male

Warnings: Drinking

Summary: Castiel can’t love you, can he?

I dont own the character or the gif

Beta’d by the incredible @chaoticgaysstuff

The bitter taste of alcohol burns your throat as you poured yourself another drink.

You didn't really like to drink. You weren't really much of a drinker. Sometimes only having a glass or two, but tonight you needed to get blackout drunk to stop the feeling of pain and heartbreak in your heart.

The dusk hid you and your actions. The shadows were the cruel lover who comforts you while you cut yourself with the pieces of your own heart.

It wasn't really Cas that you were upset with. You were mostly upset with yourself for falling in love with someone who doesn't love, or even like you back.

Many years going by of you creating lies just to ignore the harsh truth.

The truth that Cas doesn't like you back.

No matter how many times the two of you spent together. Or how many times you hung out with the Angel. Or how many times you would get hurt on hunts just to have Cas heal you. He would only see you as a friend, or a partner.

Besides did Cas even like men? Did Angel's even have sexualities? But you ended up remembering that Cas said that he is indifferent to sexual orientation. Which means that he definitely could be into men.

"The reason he doesn't love me back is because he is an angel. He doesn't have feelings or emotions. He isn't human. He's a soldier. It's not because I'm not good enough." You told yourself, trying to reassure yourself, but you didn't even believe the words that were coming out of your mouth.

That was the first lie you told yourself to not get your hopes up and fall in love with him.

As days became weeks, and weeks became months, you we're finally starting to get over Cas.

Until Meg arrived to tell you about Crowley's wearabouts.

When Cas pushed Meg against the wall and kissed her passionately, you felt jealous and the feelings that you tried so hard to keep from resurfacing has finally resurfaced.

You knew that the kiss was only a distraction, but that didn't stop you from feeling hurt. Why couldn't you be the one to kiss him?

"The kiss was only a distraction. That's it, nothing more. He doesn't like her like that." You told yourself.

That was the second lie you told yourself. Created to protect your heart.

And this one remained standing for sometime since she was out of our lives.

Your heart found comfort in the cold barriers that protected it.

Until the day he fell along with the other Angels.

You called out to him. Prayed to him, but he never answered. You knew that something was wrong because he always answers your prayers. Even more than he answers Dean's prayers.

You were going to find Cas himself because if the other Angels fell then Metatron needed someone's grace to do it. And you were betting that he used Cas grace to do it. Which means, he is human.

Dean and Sam managed to stop you before you could leave.

"You can't just go out looking for Cas, especially when the Angels just fell." Dean said to you, holding onto your wrist, not letting you make it a foot up the stairs.

"You dont understand, Dean. He's human now! And we have to find him before the other Angels kill him."

Sam and Dean saw how your eyes were pleading for them to help you and they finally gave in.

You ended up saving him, or that Gadreel person more specifically.

And it turns out that you were right. Cas was human. And in the back of your mind there was a voice that said you finally have a chance, so you were planning on telling him your feelings until the next sentence that came out of the ex Angels mouth.

"I had sex with April."

In that moment, you realized something. Cas could love someone and have sex with someone. He could feel attracted to someone.

He just doesn't feel anything for you.

And for the very first time, you felt pain in your heart. Something that you never wanted to experience.

Gosh. You felt like an idiot now.

Feeling worried for Cas and thinking you had a chance with him.

So, you found comfort in the bitterness of alcohol that was constantly burning your throat.

Hoping that you could finally pass out and forget your pathetic existence for a while.

"What happened in here?" Sam asked, noticing the bottles of alcohol littered all over the kitchen table in the bunker, where you were currently passed out at.

"Looks like Y/N dranked himself to sleep." Dean said, wondering why his friend even got drunk in the first place. He walked over to you and picked you up off of the chair, "Help me take him to his room, Sammy."

Sam went on the other side of you and lifted you up.

As they walked towards your room, Cas walked out of his room which was 3 doors down from yours, and saw the brothers carrying you, who was passed out.

"What happened to Y/N?" Castiel asked the brothers, an unknown feeling welling up inside his chest at seeing Y/N like this. What was this feeling?

"Y/N dranked too much alcohol." Dean answered.

"I thought that he hardly drinks?" Cas questioned, feeling an emotion that could only be described as concern.

"He doesn't drink that much. Something must have happened to him for him to get like this." Sam said quickly, wanting to hurry up and take you to your room since you were quite heavy.

The two brother continued walking down the hall with Cas following behind them. Once they entered your room, they placed you on the bed and Cas stood by your bed.

"Cas, Sam and I are going to see if we can find something to improve Sam's health. Stay here with him." Dean told Castiel as Sam and him left the room, but Castiel stopped Dean.

Wait! What about him? Will he be okay?" The ex angel spoke, pointing at you.

Dean waved Cas off, "He'll be fine." And he closed the door behind him.

Castiel sighed and looked down at your sleeping figure. He sat on the other side of your bed and ran his fingers through your hair, "Why did you do this to yourself, Y/N?" Castiel muttered.

You woke up with a loud groan, "Ow!" You exclaimed. Your whole body was aching from head to toe.

But the pain your were feeling was nothing compared to the pain in your heart.

"Good morning, Y/N. Or more like afternoon now." You heard Castiel's voice. You opened your eyes and he was standing over you with a bottle of water in one hand and a pill in the other. "While exploring the internet, i read that pills usually help when having a hangover," He held it out towards you, but you didn't take and continued to just stare at it. Cas frowned slightly, "This will make you feel better."

Castiel's voice throbbed in your head. The mixture of inner anger along with your aching head, and feelings for Cascaused you to not care about what's about to come out of your mouth.

"And since when do you care about my well-being, Castiel?" You barked and Castiel's eyes widened in surprise. Where was this coming from?

"What do you mean by that?" He asked softly, not wanting to see you explode like that again.

You knew you should stop speaking now, but you were still a little drunk right now and everything you've been feeling is finally going to come out.

"You can't hurt me and then pretend to care about me, Cas. You can't cut me with a knife and then put a bandage on it." You barked once again as your head throbbed in pain.

Castiel continued to stare at you, not understanding what you we're talking about.

"What are you talking about Y/N? I don't understand what I did to hurt you." He spoke, desperate to figure out what he did that caused you pain.

You sighed, "You didn't do anything, Cas. I did this to myself, but I can't deal with this anymore. Just leave me alone." You said, feeling tears start to form in your eyes, but you blinked them away.

The ex angel was very confused.

"Explain what is going on to me, Y/N. Please, I want to be able to help you and apologize for what I did even without knowing what I did." He begged, setting the pills and water down on the bedside table, taking a hold of your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"There's really nothing to explain. I was just an idiot to think someone as amazing and selfless as you could like me back." You said, tears finally flowing from your eyes.

Cas wiped away the tears from your eyes. He didn't like seeing you cry.

"But I do like you, Y/N. I consider you what humans call a best friend. Your my best friend, Y/N." Cas stated, and smiled in an attempt to stop you from crying, even though he didn't understand why this was something to cry about.

You let out a humorless chuckle. You decided that you would not hold in your feelings any longer. You would tell him the truth.

"But I like you as more than just a friend, Cas!" You exclaimed, "I love you as more than a friend. The way I feel for you is different for what I feel for Dean and Sam. I have feelings for you and I wanna be with you. I wanna be with you for the rest of my life." You told him, staring at the wall not even wanting to see his reaction.

It was silent for a while. And that made you think that you fucked up. You just ruined your friendship with Cas. You were about to leave the room, planning on going to the bar, or leaving the bunker forever, but Cas took your chin and made you look at him. You couldn't though, and instead started looking down.

"I have feelings for you too, Y/N." Cas said softly.

You snapped your head up to look at him. Did he really just say that he had feelings for too? "W-What did you just s-say?"

"I said I have feelings for you, Y/N."

You shook your head slightly, still not believing that the man you have been crushing on for years likes you back.

"B-But... but you never showed any interest in me before. And what about Meg and April? You kissed Meg a-and had sex with April."

Cas looked down, feeling ashamed.

"I… I didn't understand feelings very well. I still don't understand them that well. But I knew that I felt something for you and I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner," Castiel replied, feeling ashamed that he was the reason for you getting drunk, "I was deeply ashamed of myself after teaming up with Crowley and the fall of the angels. I didn't want anything to happen between us because I'm a failure, Y/N. You are amazing person and incredible human being. I didn't think that I deserved to be anything more than a friend. Sometimes, I feel like I don't deserve to be your friend," Tears were coming out of Castiel's eyes, "So, I decided to never tell you about my feelings, but I only ended up hurting you in the end. I'm so sorry, Y/N. Please forgive me. I beg you to forgive me." Castiel begged, tightening his grip on your hand. His blue eyes stared at you, begging you to forgive him.

You planted a gentle kiss on his lips, "You are already forgiven. It would be kinda hard not to forgive you. And all of that stuff with Crowley is in the past now. It's time to forgive yourself, okay?" He nodded, not taking his eyes off of you, "And please don't do that again. My heart and kidneys can't go through that again." You joked.

"I promise to never do that again," He gave you a hug and buried his face into the crook of you neck, "Now, it's time to take your medicine. I'll get us something to eat."

"Yes sir," You took the pill and the previous conversation came back to your mind, "Wait. Cas, do you even know how to cook?"

#Male reader #x male reader #supernatural x male reader #supernatural x reader #castiel x reader #castiel x male reader #castiel x male!reader

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angeltiddies · 3 years

Text

eternal skyline of a spotless mind- or the one where the first 5 or so minutes of 15x20 are the only minutes i accept.

in which i ramble a whole ficlet on accident and y’all i need the full fic. yes there’s a tinnnny bit of smut. also spn 15x20 spoilers slightly

now i want the fic where dean applies to be a mechanic, gets the job, does real good. he and miracle live in the bunker, sam and eileen moved out a year ago now to follow a job opportunity for eileen. it’s a big place to be alone in. he keeps watching over and over all of the movies he has in a file entitled ‘cas’ favourites’ he sips whiskey, a responsible amount, and pets miracles head while his head is on his lap. sometimes he dives into the lore, he’s glad sam isnt here to give him shit about finally doing his research, but he’s trying to find a way to cas. to save him. and one day he tries to mix up a spell thatll open a portal into the dark nothing and his ingredients sputter and spark and he thinks it’s gonna work this is it, and it just doesnt. the smoke clears, the sparks stop popping, and there’s nothing. and so that night he goes into the dungeon draped in one of cas’ old trenchcoats and he sits in that spot he had to sit years ago and he cries, and miracle sits beside him and he cries because he’s trying he’s trying to live for love he’s trying to do right by cas and he just....he cant...cas died thinking dean didnt...didnt love him. and god, does dean love him. so he cries and he whispers iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou and he falls asleep on the concrete, uses miracle as a pillow but dean doesnt think he minds. and he wakes up in the morning, eyes puffy, and he drags himself to work, and he’s back to square one. and this continues for a while, dean doesnt really remember when he tried the spell, but it’s been a while. a month, maybe more. and he goes into work, and there’s a new car for him to work on. it’s old, a classic, but dean kinda thinks she’s more junk than classic, sue him, and he starts working on it, and he opens the trunk to pop a particularly stubborn dent out of it, the client’s not paying for that but he just can’t let the car be driven around all beat up, and there, right in the trunk, is a trenchcoat. bundled up, and tan and big and dean grabs it, he shouldnt but he does and his heart is beating so fast as he brings it to his nose and smells it and it’s cas it has to be and so he rushes to the front office, demands to know who the client is, when are they coming by and as he’s going completely wild wanting to know everything it suddenly goes calm. because there, in a worn flannel and blue jeans, is cas. castiel. and dean just looks for a moment, to convince himself its real, and then hes rushing to a wide eyed cas and saying ‘you stupid son of a bitch’ and crashing his lips into those ones which he has wanted for and then cas isnt really kissing back so dean stops because he...he cant take anything more from cas, he needs to give and he...he stops himself because what if...what if this wasn’t what cas wanted, so he pulls back, lets his hands linger on the soft of the flannel, and then cas is speaking, head quirked, ‘do i...do i know you?’ and fuck. his heart drops right out of his ass. his knees buckles and hes on his way down when castiel catches him, pulls him up, hand on his shoulder, and he holds on to him. and dean lets out a ‘you don’t remember?’ and castiel says, ‘no. i...i dont i’m so sorry.’ and dean thinks all hope is lost until cas asks, ‘i know this is too much to ask but it...appears i know you, and i kind of just, woke up one day in a field and i...i dont really have anywhere to go..and um’ and hes rambling but he’s determined to get his little angel back, all the way back, so he says, ‘you wanna come home with me, angel?’ and cas grins and dean wants to see that grin everyday of his life. so he finishes cas’ car, lets him trail behind as they drive to the bunker. he doesn’t explain it really, just opens the door and says ‘well, heres the place’ and cas walks in and looks at everything with such wonder. and he brushes his fingers across the gold embossing of an angel on one of the books there and dean just watches, listens to cas breathing, aches to touch.

he sets cas up in his old room, cas quirks a head when he sees all the suits and ties in the closet, says something like ‘now i understand why i woke up looking like a tax accountant’ and hes being good old cas, sticking so close to dean and he’s sitting beside him to watch a movie and miracle is sprawled across their legs and cas says, ‘i could get used to this’ and dean says, ‘yeah cas, me too.’ so they sit and they watch and they repeat that day in day out and the bunker isnt so lonely anymore, and he and cas do everything together, and dean researches spells to get cas’ memory back. he thinks it has to do with the fact that his grace got ripped out in the process, theres a small nick on his adams apple that he recognizes as the place it must have left, but he coughs himself out of thinking about that neck and those lips and that hair and those thighs and- he hasnt kissed cas since the first day, he longs to. he sees the way this cas looks at him and he wonders. he wonders if maybe...maybe this castiel can learn to love him again. and it’s going on a year now. cas works down at the local flower shop and has an apiary on the hill above the bunker, deans still in his same routine of life, and they’re not...they’re in the same place they were before cas confessed. just, in this middle ground, this unspoken something, so as he lies beneath a car he decides, the happiness isnt in the having its in just being in just saying it, so he goes home that night, picks up flowers from a competing shop bc he doesnt wanna spoil the surprise, and sets up the table. cas’ name is still carved there, cas had laughed when he first saw it because “what kind of long name is that,” and dean was bursting with fond. and anyways he lays down a table cloth and lights a candle and waits. shaking in his skin just waiting for cas to get home, and then cas is walking in saying ‘hello, dean’ and running down the stairs, groceries in paper bags overflowing in his arms, and his hair is disheveled and dean helps grab a bag and puts it in the kitchen and waits for cas to follow and see...the set up. and cas asks, what’s this about? and dean looks at cas and takes a deep breath and says, ‘someone once told me there’s happiness in just....fuck...in just saying it so here goes. and its okay if you..if you dont but...’ and cas is getting closer, his head quirked and deans heart is beating out of his chest and he says ‘i love you.’ and then cas is rumbling, ‘dean, look at me’ and so he does, looks up into wide blue eyes and cas is smiling. smiling so big and beautiful and dean wants to hear it he needs to hear it he needs- ‘i love you too, dean winchester’ and then theyre kissing again, kissing and holding and deans a little embarrassed but hes crying and then theyre skipping dinner entirely and cas has his hand on deans bare shoulder and hes shivering into the touch its so overwhelming and he fucks himself down onto cas’ cock and cas digs his fingernails into deans thighs and looks up at him blue and beautiful and overwhelming and deans pretty sure he blacks out when he comes except, he doesnt, because his eyes are open and the lights in the room are all busted and cas is lying there under him looking up, dean thinks so at least, he can’t really see him and so he laughs and he laughs and he’s not really registering what happened, a beautifully timed power outage like something divine saying this is how you met and he’s here still and you finally have him and so he climbs off of cas and grabs something to wash them up and a candle or two from the table and when he comes back, and wipes the damp cloth gingerly across cas’ body he notices cas tense and he sees in the candlelight cas is looking very serious and he stops being sweet just asks ‘cas? whats wrong’ and cas says, ‘dean? dean. dean winchester... dean...righteous soul the one i fell for and will always fall for the one i love the one i have always...’ and dean dives back on top of cas and kisses him senseless because now cas remembers everything before and he remembers everything after and everything now and its perfect

and honestly they still arent really sure what happened except that maybe the spell needed angel mojo so it snagged it from cas or maybe the empty curled itself around cas mind and all it needed was the Loud of too many emotions to overflood it but all that matters is that they are here together.

and then one day, at the dinner table, cas looks at dean and he says ‘dean, will you....’ and he shuffles inside his pocket and presses a box into deans hand and its- ‘will you marry me?’ and dean is practically leaping over the table to kiss cas and saying “yes yes yes of course of course i wanna grow old with you i wanna be with you always in life and death in everything always together”

and cas is crying because he could have what he wanted, he has the one thing he wants most and dean wants him most too.

and then dean is pulling back and cas is looking pensive and he says, ‘there is one thing, dean.’ and dean looks worried so he places his hand on his knee and he says, ‘i want to be human, all the way human.’ and dean looks like he wants to protest or cry and hes not sure which it is but then dean is crying and saying ‘ill help’ and then the next day theyre out with the bees, because cas thinks his grace will do them good, and dean holds cas’ hand in his tightly and follows that little nick on his throat and opens it ever so slightly with the angel blade and tries not to think about how hes hurting the person he loves and he loves and he loves and then the grace is flowing away and dean captures it in a bottle, hands it to cas, who later pats it down in the ground so they can grow a new tree, and dean gives cas two little stitches on his throat and kisses all around them and washes cas hair for him in the shower and then

when the day comes, they go together, they get to live with one another and watch the sunsets on their front porch with miracle and jack and sam and eileen all looking out over an eternal skyline.

#woops this was an accident i #destiel #deancas #destiel coda #spn spoilers #destiel ficlets #spn 15x20 #spn 15x20 coda #angel !!#king !!#long post

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you-cant-spell-subtext-without · 3 years

Text

hello hello hello! and welcome to Season 12 of Supernatural.

I admit that initially I STRUGGLED WITH SEASON 12. I LOATHED the British Men of Letters (other than Lady Antonia Bevell; her hot working mom energy can get it); I have...mixed feelings about Mary; overall it was not a stellar season for me the first go-round. HOWEVER I shall now give it a second chance, and look for the subtext within the bad (and if my theory tracks, there will be much subtext as...there is much bad). Maybe I’ll even develop Ketch appreciation. **ONWARDS ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH, MY FRIENDS:

When we last left Dean, I neglected to mention that Amara brought his mom back (this is how much I repressed Mary Winchester I guess?) We cut to Mary, confused, in a nightgown (I get this is part of the character and that’s why she is wearing it sO wE kNOw iTS rEAlLy MaRY WinCHEstEr because of her nightgown and not Sam Smith’s exquisite face, but honestly WHY - LIKE DID SHE WEAR THE DAMN THING IN HEAVEN THE ENTIRE TIME TOO?).

DEAN [breathing heavily]

Mom. Listen to me. Your name – your name is Mary Sandra Campbell, okay? You were born December 5, 1954, to Samuel and Deanna Campbell. Your father, he bounced around a lot for, uh, work, and you bounced right along with him, and you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas.

MARY

How do you know all that?

DEAN

Dad told me. March 23, 1972, you walked out of a movie theater – Slaughterhouse-Five. You loved it, and you bumped into a big Marine and you knocked him flat on his ass. You were embarrassed, and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So, you went to, uh, Mulroney's and you talked and he was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that – that you met –

MARY

John Winchester.

DEAN

August 19, 1975, you were married... in Reno. Your idea. A few years later, I came along, then Sammy.

***DEAN DESCRIBING EVERY DAMN DETAIL OF THIS HAS MURDERED ME. Also, I know John Winchester “told him the story,” but something about this retelling - these are NOT John Winchester’s words (other than maybe “big Marine”). The emotions, the feelings, the “you talked and he was cute” Dean is describing is Dean’s retelling, the version he created in his mind of this damn meet-cute, this little love story he played over and over in his head, and that makes me feel warm and tingly and also want to ingest sharp knives.

***Everyone already knows about the damn Zeppelin reference but just in case you wanted to be tortured, please recall that later on we will get

THIS FUCKING SHIT

Nothing to see here other than Dean using a reference from this LOVE STORY on Cas. I HATE it here in super hell. Next rounds on you, Sam.

Anyway, Mary has caught on:

I paused here just now because I had a tHoUGHt. This season is all about exploring Dean and Sam in their role as sons (this is discussed at the SDCC panel prior to the season; btw they are all free on Prime and I recommend watching before you start each new season for little “reveals” behind some of the plot lines). We know Sam has no relationship to Mary really, he was a baby when she died, but Dean was a little boy - with a personality, character traits, identifying characteristics that his mother probably knew like the back of her hand. That’s why my first run-in with Mary left a bad taste in mouth during this season - LIKE THIS IS YOUR KID, and there is NO inkling or recognition until THIS moment? In a show that just spent an entire season exploring the “unexplained connection” between Dean and GODS SISTER, there no immediate “OH” from his own mother?!

But then I realized why she only connected at this very moment. This particular moment - and not the moment where he lists the factual details about her before the story of the night she met John. That little story with all those cute details - that’s the part of Dean that Mary knew before she died - when that part was ALL of Dean. Before hunting, before John’s quest for revenge turned him into the person he is today, before he saw himself as a blunt little instrument. That’s why initially Mary has no recognition that this is her son - because the Dean she knew was sensitive, and kind, and OPEN, and liked love stories, and laughing, and warm hugs and maybe flowers. Because if you think about it WE DONT KNOW THAT DEAN. We only know Dean AMD. (After Mary’s Death).

*****************************************************************************************************

So maybe Mary represents Dean Before Mary’s Death, and whatever part of that Dean remains, no matter how deep he has been buried. The part that connects with people; the part that doesn’t want to be alone. The part that helped Amara. The part that loves Cas. And that’s why Amara brought her back.

*****************************************************************************************************

Ok, if I think of it this way, I may like Mary a little better now.

BUT ALSO MY BABY:

Cut to Cas.

[THE MAN WALKS OVER TO THE EDGE OF THE CRATER MADE BY THE LANDING AND SEES CASTIEL PULLING HIMSELF OUT.]

MAN

Holy mother.

[CASTIEL STANDS UP AND LOOKS AROUND]

CASTIEL

Where am I?

MAN

Uh...Earth?

CASTIEL

No. How far am I from Lebanon, Kansas?

MAN

Uh... Th-three hours, maybe. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who – What are you, man?

[CASTIEL WALKS TOWARDS THE MAN AND TOUCHES HIM ON THE FOREHEAD. THE MAN DROPS TO THE GROUND. CASTIEL LEAVES HIM THERE AS HE DRIVES OFF IN THE TRUCK]

***I spy a Season 11 random parallel

And Cas says, “Earth -

***Also, I often wonder if in his mind’s inner GPS, Cas bases distances on how far he is from Dean.

In the meantime, Bad Things Are Happening to Sam.

***Toni Bevell, don’t join the British Men of Letters you’re so sexy hahah

Other than noting that this is yet another too oft- repeated Sam, the Victim, Always Gets Tortured scenario, I see no point in recapping these parts.

I will just continue to post Toni Bevell hotness for these portions of the episode. Ok? Ok. You’re welcome.

BACK TO THE BUNKER:

I already posted this sweet baby reunion in my final Season 11 analysis/recap, but lets see it again at another angle and from Mary’s perspective CAUSE CLEARLY she has...*thoughts*

Poor Cas had no idea he was about to MEET THE PARENT

It melts my little heart that Dean uses Cas’s full name to introduce him to people. Especially members of his family who are trying to kill him.

Anyway, then we get a much longed for gem of typical Cas deadpan:

(*I still miss Casifer a little bit though*)

And then we have

A MOMENT OF CONNECTION!

At the SDCC panel, Misha specifically noted that both Mary and Cas are outsiders, so this tracks.

They head to the garage:

[Exhaling sharply, Mary walks towards Baby. She runs her hand lightly over the car.]

MARY This was John's car. Oh, she's still beautiful.

DEAN Hell, yeah, she is.

MARY Hi, sweetheart. Remember me?

[MARY LEANS DOWN AND LOOKS INTO THE CAR SMILING. SHE STARTS LOOKING AT THE FRONT SEAT BUT HER EYES AND HER THOUGHTS LINGER ON THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LEANS DOWN LOOKING AT THE INTERIOR OF THE CAR WITH PRIDE. DEAN LOOKS AT HIS MOM AND REALIZES SHE’S HAVING VERY SPECIFIC MEMORIES OF TIME IN THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LOOKS AROUND THE CAR, AND LOOKS AT HIS MOM.]

***this is where you truly see that Sam Smith is a genius because she took those directions and put them all into THIS:

And then THIS:

DEAN

Oh…

[MARY LOOKS UP AT DEAN. DEAN REALIZES HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN CONCEIVED IN THAT CAR, STANDS UP QUICKLY AND LOOKS OVER THE CAR. DEAN SWALLOWS HARD, AND GLANCES AT CASTIEL WHO GIVES HIM A QUIZZICAL LOOK.]

DEAN

We should go.

***At this time I would like to remind everyone that Cas is also generally in the back seat of this car.

MOVING ON

Meanwhile-

Back at the bunker, Cas is Continuing to Connect with his boyfriend’s mother:

[EXTERIOR DAY; INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS AND THE NOISE OF VIDEO GAMES ARE HEARD. THE CAMERA PANS TO MARY WHO’S WATCHING THE SCENE. CASTIEL IS PICKING UP COFFEE.]

CASTIEL

Thank you.

[CASTIEL TAKES THE COFFEE TO MARY AND SITS DOWN.]

CASTIEL

This must be difficult for you. I remember my first moments on Earth. It was jarring.

MARY

One word for it. I grew up with Hunters. I've heard of people coming back from the dead before. But to actually do it... after 30 years. A lot's changed.

[MARY LOOKS AROUND.]

MARY A lot.

Cas:

This is usually a look Reserved For Dean, so its interesting Cas is looking at Mary here [they also weirdly joked about Cas hitting on Mary at the SDCC panel and now I'm giggling because if Mary represents the soft part of Dean this all makes PERFECT SENSE).

BONUS

Actual footage of Sam in super hell

The Cas/Mary bonding worked BTW:

[INTERIOR: GREGORY IS SITTING IN FRONT OF HIS DESK WITH CASTIEL, DEAN, AND MARY STANDING BEFORE HIM.]

DEAN

So, you dug the bullet out of his leg, no questions asked?

GREGORY

She offered me 100 grand.

MARY

And you took it?

GREGORY

Student loans were a bitch, okay?

[ANGRILY CASTIEL STARTS TOWARDS GREGORY.]

DEAN

Cas! Cas! Cas! Don't hurt him. Not yet.

**Disclosure: I do not accept the “Cass” spelling and take creative license to change it in the script whenever it appears**

GREGORY

All right, look, she didn't give me her name. When we were done, the driver bailed, I got paid, and then some other chick shows up, and they all drive away.

MARY

And that's everything you know?

GREGORY

(insincerely) Yeah. Totally.

****Um, Mom that’s my boyfriend you don’t order him around like tha-

Oh, well, ok then.

***This is important, because Cas doesn’t obey anyone (other than Dean) blindly ever since he invented free will and all that. Hence Dean’s surprised/impressed look to Mary above.

Meanwhile:

I recall that I spent most of my first watch of Season 12 gushing over Toni Bevell, so I’m glad to know this won’t be changing. You’ve been warned.

Next up, Sam is again sex tortured, Cas is a Helpful Boyfriend, and for some reason, Rick Springfield.

#spn #spn meta #spn analysis #spn recaps #season 12x01 #season 12 #supernatural #destiel #dean cas #spn fandom #toni bevell #sorry this is long af #but not really sorry bc its mainly due to the additional pics of Toni bevell #and you need her in your life #myspnmeta

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castielsbeeslippers · 3 years

Text

Dean’s bar was loud but not the kind of loud that gets under your skin, there was a warmth to the crowded bar, a deep sense of home and belonging moved through the building when Dean’s voice would boom over the chattering patrons and welcome in someone with a wide smile on his face.

Dean did it all; he was the bartender on most occasions , he was the owner , door greeter , fight breaker upper (luckily that didn’t happen often because at ,Dean's people knew it wouldn’t be tolerated. ) ,and in this of course he was not alone he Had Castiel.

Cas the love of his life from hell , to purgatory to now when Dean finally opened his mouth and let the truth fall out.

“Ya’know….’ Dean was gripping Cas’ hand as they drove down the highway after an arduous hunt in the middle of nowhere Arkansas.

“I think I’m getting too old for this Cas.” A smile tugging his lips.

Cas grinned all gums and wrinkles. Magic words he had prayed to hear.

He didn’t push the issue or ask when or how he just squeezed Dean’s hand tighter and hummed softy with the tune of ramble on.

No less than two months later Dean started asking his opinion on buildings in the area asking what he thought of the location and if he liked them.

Castiel felt such overwhelming pride , Dean wanted to own a bar… but it was more than that. Cas would listen as Dean would explain how it could be a hub for hunters, especially the young ones ,the ones that he was once among. The reckless , the misguided , the abandoned.

Dean knew what it was like to finally find a space. It was Bobby’s first ,the Bunker ,Jody’s and every found family and home and in between and then it was Cas.

Dean wanted to make sure other kids , teen’s hell even adults had someplace they could trust to be there when the whole world felt like it was ending because shit maybe it was.

Things moved quickly as the summer crept quietly into Kansas and with the first swelter of the summer’s sun Dean’s bar was officially open for business.

It wasn’t anything grandiose , but with the help of his family it was everything Dean had dreamed of and more. Dean cried on opening day and he didn’t feel ashamed bout’ it not one lick.

He’d earned this , died for this , bleed for it and sure it was Cas’ words that were rattling in his head telling him how he was truly worthy of love and deserved happiness and peace...but right then and the days that followed Dean finally believed it.

He could be happy , safe and loved and most importantly he could give that safety and love to others.

January 24th

“Surprise!!!!!!” came a chorus of voices all at once.

Dean laughed and shook his head.

“I knew you guys were up to something ,’just take a day’ off my ass.”

Dean couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face.

Donna , Jody ,Claire , Kaia and Sam had shoed him and Cas out of the bar early that afternoon urging them to ‘go out and enjoy the day’.

Dean had already enjoyed a morning of worship from his not so devout ex-angel , but who was he to argue when they insisted. Especially Sam with that stupid puppy dog look that he started at age 7 and never quit.

Cas had taken Dean to a local bakery for Pie and Coffee before they headed out for a drive and maybe made a few unnecessary stops along the way before settling on just sitting and talking on a bench with a scenic view.

By the evening they made their way back to Dean’s bar where his family had set up a surprise party , balloons , pie , steamers , and of course the karaoke mechine was on and ready.

After hugs , laughs and a few rounds of food and beer Dean had found his way up to the small stage it was his turn for bad karaoke.

The tune started up , Carry on my Wayward son came out of the two small speakers.

Carry on my wayward son , there’ll be peace when you are done

Lay your weary head to rest.

Don’t you cry no more.

Dean grasped the microphone tightly giving it his all. The lyrics hitting him hard.

His friends and family all watched on smiling and cheering him on.

He met Cas’s blue eyes that were glued to him.

Once I rose above the noise and confusion

Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion

I was soaring ever higher

But I flew too high.

Though my eyes could see , I still was a blind man

Though my mind could think , I still was a mad man

I hear the voice when I’m dreaming

I can hear them say

Dean’s mind races filled with the thoughts of everything he’d been through in the deacade plus of his life.

He thought of all the almost-apocalypses..Demons , tricksters , dying , death from hell to pourgatory and back again . His journey of meeting Angels of meeting Castiel in that barn in Pontiac Illinois... he thought of how everything has changed.

He belted out the chorous once more granting him a few whistles from the crowd which he figured came from Donna.

Masquading as a man with a reason

My charade is the event of the season

And if I claim to be a wise man , well

It surly means that I don’t know

On a stormy sea moving emotion

Tossed about, I’m a ship on the ocean

I set a course for the winds of fortune

But I hear the voices say

The chorous fell from Dean’s lips again and the song came to close with thunderous applause from everyone in the bar.

Throughout all the world ending , sacrifice and pain he had been through he had carried on ....He had pushed forward in the face of adversities no one man should ever have to face and even when he felt alone.. Dean was loved , and he wasn’t alone... and now that warmth all that love filled him and carried him though his days and into Cas’ open arms.

Carry on my wayward son. There’ll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don’t you cry no more , don’t you cry no more.

( 🐝asked to be added or removed 🐝)

Tag list : @my-favourite-hellatus , @i-dont-even-wanna-know , @nguyenxtrang @minxyone93

#destiel #deancas #Happy Birthday Dean #Happy birthday Dean Winchester #dean winchester #Destiel ficlet #Deancasfic

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supernatural-reacts · 3 years

Text

Season 11 episode 10

- what the fuck

- did Crowley just get stabbed by Santa

- oh hi Lucifer

- Sam is so scared I’m gonna cry

- “I thought I had daddy issues but you... wow.” LITERAL SATAN JUST SAID THAT TO SAM IM

- Rowena... this is a terrible idea

- oh no what’s wrong with Dean

- Cas!!

- “I came as soon as you called. Are you alright?” Them!!

- why are we watching Swan Song lol

- “maybe we can work together? So no one murders anyone?” I like this angel

- “you know it is the middle of the afternoon.” “So?” “So why is it dark.” “Excellent question” 😂

- the password to get to Hell is a song lmao

- BILLIE!!

- are we. Are we seriously having an Amelia flashback. In season 11.

- Lucifer is hecking annoying. Some of the stuff he’s saying is kinda true though

- “like mother like son.” “Excuse me I need to go vomit.” LMAOO

- “we have a lot in common! Our names rhyme, that’s a big one. I look good in a treanch coat too.” AHSJAKAKKSL

- CAS NO YOU ARENT EXPENDABLE

- hi Amara

- “you think I’m afraid to die?” “I know you are.” AAAAAA

- “she’s right you know. You are expendable. And weak.” LEAVE CAS ALONE

- “you aren’t even worth the effort.” FUCK. OFF.

- I love that Cas falls from the sky behind Billie and he’s yelling and she’s just like “hey.”

- “never accept a cup of tea from someone who loathes you.” Life lessons with Crowley

- SAM DONT YOU FUCKING DO IT

- Amara BURNED “I am coming” into Cas??

- YES 👏 SAM 👏

- “I’m ready to die. And I’m ready to watch people I love die. But I’m not ready to be your bitch.” YOU TELL HIM

- “hey assbutt!” CAS I LOVE YOU

- guys getting into a fistfight with Lucifer is not a valuable use of your time

- “you alright?” “I think so. I will be.” 🥺

- “I hate you because if I didn’t I’d love you. Love is weakness, and I’ll never be weak again.” DAMN ROWENA

- CASTIEL WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO

- “I’m back baby!” CASIFER OH NO OHHHH NO BUT GODDAMN MISHA IS A GOOD ACTOR

- FUCK HE KILLED ROWENA

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eucharistsamruby · 3 years

Note

god saw your tags "#sam would have to completely cut dean out of his entire life to live a separate one while alive#and that’s not realistic for sam at this point. he may still deep down want a separate life but not enough to cut dean out entirely" and can i jsut say i dont even think that would work. like i think dean would good-intentionedly stalk him to the point where sam is forced to acknowledge it

no you’re so right. even if sam i think dean would leave sam alone for like two weeks max out of spite and then track him down to make sure he’s okay and sam would give in eventually because he has every single time this has happened in canon. dean absolutely Cannot Handle being alone and after 15.19 they don’t really even have any friends left for him to lean on. what would he do? go babysit garth’s kids? no he can’t do that bc he couldn’t handle them being named sam and castiel

#ask #marymotherof

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idatebucky · 3 years

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LIST OF WRONG THINGS IN THE SEASON FINALE, a really long thread:

starting with my favorite character, castiel. ok so now we know jack did get him out of the empty — why the hell didnt he say a hi or tried talking to the winchesters? he could help jack AND say hi to his friends of 12 years he died to protect.

the winchesters did not give a FUCK about what happened to cas. it's like they were sick of trying to get him back and just??? stoped???

just... the homophobia. they used castiel to get audience on the last episodes (which worked). that's queerbaiting on a next level. they didnt acknowledge his confession, dean didnt even seen to notice it??? that's so wrong I cant even put it into words.

THE WHOLE VAMPIRE FIGHT/ DEANS DEATH SCENE.

SERIOUSLY WHO WROTE THAT AND THOUGHT OMG THATS SO GOOD?????

dean spent the whole series WANTING to die because he felt like he didnt deserve anything good and that he should die to protect his little brother. a good character arc would show him learning to love himself and actually LIVING a good life which he never thought he deserve but still got it. THAT would be good, THAT would be a great message to the fans who struggle with depression and other mental health issues.

I wont talk further on the dean thing because I'm getting mad.

the whole funeral to dean was SHIT?? he had a lot of great friends and family with him, sam would never be alone at his funeral. apocalypse world bobby and charlie would be there, jody and the girls (claire especially, who treated dean like a father)... there were so many people who loved dean and would be there mourning him, it didnt make sense for sam to be alone.

I actually liked the joined heaven thing if they had explained it better. the bar was great but he never went to the bar since he spent 30 years driving the impala waiting for sam??? the codependency???? thats not healthy????

I'm not even going to mention how cas absolutely would be there in deans heaven.

they made the supernatural slogan "family dont end in blood" (which is a hell of a good line) but in the end they literally killed or just didnt show people who weren't blood related. castiel was part of the family, jody, claire, they were all family and deserved to be treated as such. mary and john were terrible and abusive, they dont deserve a place above the rest just because they're blood related to dean and sam.

spn should stop trying to redeem john. he was an abusive father who didnt deserve to be in heaven since he caused 99% (if not all) of deans mental health issues. the message that people should forgive their abusive parents just because they "tried" is horrible.

btw mary was a terrible mother. she was good when she was you know dead. but when she got back she just used every opportunity to leave the boys, further deans abandonment issues and make sam feel more like an outsider in the family since she barely spoke to him.

still not over the homophobic, ableist ending. it wasn't a good ending for both dean and sam, it wasn't good for castiel (WHO'S ALSO A LEAD CHARACTER THANK YOU VERY MUCH), it wasn't good for eileen, it just wasn't good. the only person with a good ending was jack — which I'm happy since he's also one of my favorite characters ever.

they made a bad ending for the sake of making the fans angry and it was just disrespectful to everyone, including the actors who worked their asses off and dedicated almost 2 decades into the show.

anyways fuck supernatural and fuck cw, that homophobic, racist, ableist and misogynist network.

#supernatural #yes im mad at the ending if you like it shut up #fuck you cw #dean winchester deserved better #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #bobby singer #charlie bradbury #bury your gays #spn 15x20 #season finale #john winchester #family dont end in blood my ass #deancas #destiel

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bktynes-writes · 4 years

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So...Supernatural finale time is nearly here hey? Wild...Since I'm sure we're all suffering a bit with this knowledge, let's turn our grief into something positive and create something!

A friend of mine, @trench-im-not-alone, is doing an AMAZING project to say goodbye to Castiel/Misha. She is going to create a fan video to the song "Angel With A Shotgun" by The Cab (if you haven't heard it by now...what are you even doing? Lol)

She needs at least 20 people willing to film a video clip of themselves honoring Cas. It can be anything you want - cosplay, dancing, lip synching, a sign with messages of love, positivity, and encouragement, just you crying uncontrollably - whatever!

If enough people show interest, we would LOVE to do one for Dean and Sam individually as well.

She has previously dont videos like this in other communities. DM @trench-im-not-alone for more info if you are interested in being a part of this project.

Thanks SPN Fam!

#castiel

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inlovewithsaturn · 3 years

Text

Dean Winchester’s 42nd Birthday

Dean woke up on his 42nd birthday the way he had been waking up nearly every day in the last few months: an armful of white fur and wet kisses across his cheeks. When Miracle first came home with them Dean had made sure to get her a big, cushy, memory foam dog bed so that she would be comfortable, but it had taken all of three nights for him to relent and let her sleep pressed against his side. He liked having her there, hell, he didn't even try and hide it. He was trying to hide things less now. He was trying to be better. ** **

He was trying to be the man Cas had told him he was.

The thought of Cas had him hugging Miracle just a little tighter to his chest, burying his face in her warm fur. He thought about Cas a lot. His eyes, his final moments, his confession. Dean missed him more than he really thought was possible. But life goes on. You lose people and you have to keep going, no matter how big the ache in your chest gets, you have to keep going. That's what Dean was trying to do. He wanted Cas’s sacrifice to mean something. If he got out now Cas’s death would have been for naught, so he kept going.

There had been some close calls, even as the number of hunts got lower and lower. Dean had a nasty gash still healing on his ribs from where a piece of rebar almost got him, now that would have been a dumb way to go. Those first couple of weeks had been hard. Dean contemplated just ending it all, he wasn't really sure how to go on after everything that happened, wasn't sure how to fill the angel-sized hole in his heart. But Cas’s words played on his head in a loop and he wasn't going to die and throw away the chance Cas had died to give him. He loved the other man far too much to let that happen.

So Dean got up, he pulled on his dead guy robe and grabbed the plate from last night’s pizza rolls, and he scratched Miracle behind the ears. Today was going to be a good day, whether the universe wanted it to be or not. He hummed as he walked to the kitchen. He was doing better. Coffee was scenting the air as he neared the doorway and, oh, bacon? Happy birthday to him! As he grinned and rounded the doorway three things immediately became clear. 1. That was not his brother (way too short), 2. The “unbreakable” glass plates he got at the store were not in fact unbreakable if the cuts pricking his legs were to be believed, and 3. He was going to get to start his birthday by killing whatever son of a bitch had decided to put on that trenchcoat and waltz into his home.

The shattering dinnerware caused the creature to turn in surprise, it's elbow nearly bumping the frying pan to the ground, but it caught it at the last moment. It then turned back, blue eyes locking with green. Dean was frozen, not for long but for longer than a seasoned hunter should have been. In two long strides he had a knife from the butcher block in his grip and was pressing the blade to the fucker’s neck with his other arm solidly around it’s chest. His voice was wobbling when he spoke.

“I dont care what the fuck you are, get out of that body now or your death is gonna take a hell of a lot longer than it needs to.”

The sigh of frustration coming from the monster was almost expected. Monsters were cocky little bastards. The words it spoke though? Rather surprising.

“Dean, if you don't let me go the bacon is going to burn and this is the only pack in the fridge.”

Huh. Okay. So it was going to get extra tortured then. It was one thing to take his shape but pretending to be his angel cooking him breakfast was another. He pressed down harder with the knife, drawing a blood and a wince-

“Cas?”

Dean didn't loosen his hold but he did turn his neck to look at Sam, who was currently in the same position of shock Dean had vacated moments earlier. His brother’s face pushed the tears that were burning the back of his eyes into the light. He needed a drink.

“Sam, get the silver and the holy water from the cupboard,” Sam didn't move. “Now!” Dean gritted out, just as the monster cut in.

“I'm not a shapeshifter Dean, or a demon, I was just trying to make breakfast.”

“Shut up. Stop saying my name.” Was all Dean could manage. He had been thinking about hearing Cas say his name, just once more, for weeks now. This was agony.

Sam had apparently been shaken from his trance because the next thing Dean felt was residual holy water splashing his cheek. He let go of one arm so Sam could push up the coat, his coat, and draw the thin silver blade over skin.

Nothing happened except a few pricks of blood and a sharp inhale that Dean could feel pressed against his chest. Then there was a quiet, fluttering, woosh to his left. A sound he hadn't heard in months.

“It seems I should have arrived at the same time as Cas, sorry about that.”

Dean’s brain was going way too fast. It felt like there was cotton stuffed in his ears and all the way through his skull. The edges of his vision went dark, zeroing in on the figure standing next to the stove, white jacket somehow almost glowing. Now Dean was almost certain that this was a dream because the last thing he saw before fainting backwards into the counter was Jack, smiling like there was absolutely nothing amiss.

His head hurt. Not like a hangover but more like that time a vampire had clocked him from behind with a 2x4. He opened his eyes, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. That dream had been insane. Why was he in the kitchen?

“How is your head Dean?” Cas’s low voice washed over him in a sea of warmth.

“It hurts like a bitch. What happened Cas?”

Oh fuck. Not a dream.

Dean pushed up so he was sitting and tried to stand and tackle the man before him at the same time but the floor seemed to rush towards him and he ended up slumped on Cas’s chest. Warm arms caught him by the waist and sat him back down. A large hand gripped his chin and he was turned to see his brother.

“Calm the hell down okay? You hit your head pretty hard on the counter.” Dean jerked his eyes back to Cas and tried, again unsuccessfully, to leave his hold. His face was turned again.

“He's not a monster Dean, stop moving. You have a cut.” Sam lifted his hand to place a small bandaid on Dean’s eyebrow.

“What?”

“Jack pulled me out. Please let your brother finish his first aid so we can talk.”

Dean sat still.

Once Sam was satisfied with his handiwork he and Cas helped Dean stand and move to the table.

Dean sat still.

This was not happening. How in the world could it be?

Cas sat in front of him. Cas gazed at him with a mix of worry and pure joy. Cas reached out a hand to gently squeeze the one Dean had lying limp on the tabletop. He felt real. He felt like Cas.

“Cas?” Cas smiled wider.

“Hello, Dean.”

Tears slid down Dean’s cheeks as his hand not currently occupied with gripping onto Cas lifted, shaking, to brush across the angel’s cheekbone. He was really here. He was warm and solid and breathing. He was the most beautiful thing Dean had ever seen.

“How are you here?” His voice was barely above a whisper. He was terrified that if he spoke too loud or moved too fast this would all fall apart and he would wake back up in his bed, alone with only his dog and memories to keep him going.

“Jack came to an agreement with the Empty, he could help it sleep if he was allowed to pull a few angels out to help in Heaven. I was the first.”

“I prayed to you Cas. I didn't think you could hear me but I kept praying. How long have you been out?” At this, sadness shadows across blue eyes, guilt evident in his ethereal features.

“A while by Earth standards of time. There was so much to be done. I heard them. I heard you.”

He looks back up.

“I am sorry Dean, we worked as fast as we could. I cannot tell you what it is now, but it is far better than what my father created. Jack is a good leader. It was important I finished before I saw you again.”

“Why?” Dean is now holding both of Castiel’s hands in his own. A sad smile graces Cas’s mouth.

“Because I knew once I saw you I would be unable to leave you again.”

Dean stands, the floor now remaining steady under his feet, and has his arms around Cas in seconds. Castiel stands as well so he can wrap around him, Dean’s face quickly finding its home in the crook of Cas’s neck.

“Thank you.”

“I didn't actually do it, Jack is the one to thank.”

“No.” Dean pulls back so he can see Cas’s face. “Thank you for coming back.”

“I’ll always come when you call.”

Dean pulls him back in, suffocating himself in the scent of Cas. He stays that way for a time, only pulling away when he hears a small giggle from behind him. Jack is beaming, as is Sam, and Dean rushes to envelop Jack in a hug as well.

“Thanks kid.”

“Of course, Dean. It was his choice anyway, I just made it happen. I don't think there is anyone better to teach him how to be human than you and Sam.”

Dean pulls back.

“Human?”

Cas speaks again, anxiety laced into his words.

“Yes, as Jack said, I made the choice. I can go somewhere else if that-” Dean’s arms surround him once again, crushing any doubts he was holding.

“We are gonna teach you everything okay? You're gonna love it.” Dean is smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. Cas is staying here. Cas is human and real and he's here.

“I know you all need to catch up on some things but I do have some pressing matters to get back to, and I brought a birthday cake that I would very much like to eat.” Dean doesn't know if he will ever be able to feel this much joy ever again.

“And I insisted on a birthday pie as well, though it is not traditional I thought it may be appreciated.” Dean’s heart could have exploded right then and there. Cas is the best thing that ever happened to him.

“Get some plates Sammy.”

They sit down, Cas and Dean on one side, Sam and Jack on the other. They eat cake. Dean eats pie. They tell Cas about the things Dean left out of his prayers, like Dean’s application to a local mechanic, and how Eilleen has been staying over more and more. They all hug Jack goodbye and he promises to drop in sometimes. Sam leaves to call Eilleen, and finally Dean and Castiel are sitting side by side in the empty kitchen. Cas speaks first.

“I got you something.” Dean blushes and averts his eyes from the man beside him.

“You didn't have to Cas. You coming back is pretty much the birthday gift of a lifetime.” Cas chuckles at that but slips his hand into the breast pocket of his coat all the same.

“I wanted to. You deserve good things, Dean. Especially on your birthday.” Dean wants to make a joke about how utterly unworthy he is of anything Cas has to offer but the words die in his throat as Castiel stands from his seat to kneel on the cold floor beside him. Holy shit.

“I heard your prayers Dean. I know how hard you tried to get me out. I know about your mom’s ring. I could hear the life you planned out for us. I heard everything. I could see you too. I know how hard you have been working to be true to yourself. I never regretted for a moment that I let the Empty take me. Not one. You are worth everything. I rebuilt Heaven for you, Dean. Everyone will benefit but I did it for you. You are so full of love. From the moment I raised you out of hell I knew I would never lay my eyes on another soul as beautiful as yours. I know I do not technically exist and you are legally dead but I do not want to spend another moment without you. So, Dean Winchester, will you marry me?”

Dean is on his knees, hands cradling Cas’s face, lips crashing against the ex-angel’s before he can even utter his response. He’s been wanting to do this for years. Dean kisses with every ounce of adoration he has in him, pushing away only when he needs to breathe. Their foreheads rest against each other, two sets of tears mixing on cheeks. They are breathing the same air, eyes still closed, chests rising and falling in frantic harmony.

“Yes! I love you. I love you so much I can hardly stand it.”

They're kissing again, soft and sweet. Dean’s fingers are threaded through dark hair, he never wants to let go. They stay kneeling on the bunker floor wrapped in eachother’s arms for what feels like an eternity. Once Dean can feel his knees giving out he stands and drags Cas along with him, the shorter man scooping up the ring box on the way. Dean hadn't even seen the ring yet. Cas clutches his hand and rests it over his heart while he fumbles to get the jewelry free.

It's a simple band, nothing flashy or ornate, but Dean’s eyes catch on something engraved inside. Cas reads his mind, the same way he always does.

“For Love,” Castiel smiles that same watery smile that is seared into Dean’s heart.

“The engraving, that's what it says. I made it before we came.” With those words he slips the ring onto Dean’s hand. He doesn't let go, only uses one hand to pull Dean back in, kissing him with all the love in the world. Dean kisses back, matching him move for move.

The next day they walk hand in hand through the door of the lone jewelry store in Lebanon, Mary’s old ring in Dean’s pocket. Lighter silver than the one on Dean’s finger but fitting all the same. They get it engraved too.

“We are.”

#fanfiction #fanfic #spn fanfiction #spn #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #Destiel #destiel fanfic #also this is my first try and fanfiction since like 2015 so here we go

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wakkowraith · 3 years

Text

Aight aight here’s what I got:

(I’ve not watched season 15 cause I was queerbaited by the gay Angel confession, but from what I’ve gathered there wasn’t a lot to work with in the first place)

First off, keep the final villain ig, this plan works with any (altho it would be a lot more satisfying if it was built up but this is what we have) vampire clowns or whatever. Doesn’t matter. What does matter is that Dean doesn’t die. He gets injured, severely injured, and ends up permanently disabled.

This prompts Sam to suggest retirement, which Dean is resistant to. They put it off for a while, go on hunts, during one of which Sam reconnects with Eileen. They get serious and Sam brings up retirement again, and Dean finally relents.

They buy separate houses right next to each other. Sam and Eileen get married, have a daughter named Mary Maura Winchester. Dean is the fun uncle, always teaching Mary tricks and things her father doesn’t allow. Like shooting a gun, which Dean considers essential, but Sam is firm that she doesn’t need to learn that yet. This actually causes a conflict for a while until they inevitably make up.

They both have some form of PTSD after all their fucking trauma. Sam’s manifests as night terrors. Constantly waking up in the night, hallucinating his father or his brother or Lucifer or Jack or the hundred other people that have died because of him, have hurt him. Eileen has grown used to this - she’s not without her own traumas after all - and they learn to navigate this together.

Dean’s manifests as paranoia. He keeps a police scanner in his house and constantly listens to the chatter. He keeps a log of unusual sightings that never result in anything. Once, he got drunk at a bar and became convinced the bouncer was a shapeshifter - “laser-eyes,” he told Sam, who dragged him out before a fight could start. Never mind Sam shook his hand with his silver wedding band, which prompted no reaction (a handy thing really - Eileen’s idea).

Dean really tries. He tries to pick up hobbies - he became briefly infatuated with wood carving, which Mary kept a few of his early pieces on a shelf above her bed - then after that coaching Mary’s Little League team, but he resigned after one year for being too rough on the kids - and he finally settled for bartending, and kept that for far longer than anyone thought he would, including his boss.

Dean really tried, but even after years of forcing domesticity, he still kept track of the color of the sky or natural disasters, still keeping a log of murders and missing persons, still on guard for the next apocalypse, the next big-bad that will try to kill them or kill the world or both. Even after all these years, he has to do something.

After Mary manages to recite the Latin exorcism verse back to him and successfully shoot a bottle from a stone’s throw away, Sam gives him an earful that reminds them both awfully of their father. I dont want Mary to worry about that, Sam said. I don’t want Mary to be like us.

How is she going to protect herself when you’re not there, then? In this world?

We made this world safe, Sam had said. We did it for a reason. For her.

And later, Dean nurses a glass of something cheap that smells of gasoline while thumbing the well-loved photo from an unused FBI ID, one that’s printed with a false name and a familiar face, and he wonders how this is supposed to be their happy ending when something is so desperately missing.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise then, when Sam goes to check on Dean a few quiet days later and finds his brother’s very few precious possessions gone, impala included. He tells Mary some excuse that her uncle’s gone traveling and, secretly, privately, quizzes her on the exorcism verses and their matching signs.

(He didn’t go after Dean because - well, it should be obvious. They’re older. Sam found out a month prior he could keel over from a heart attack any day now. Eileen is eight weeks pregnant. He can’t be responsible for his brother anymore, not when he has his girls, his family, to look out for now.)

They have a boy. They name him Dean, out of remembrance, since Sam is sure the next time he’ll see his brother is a John Doe in the newspaper, and give him the middle name Edward-John out of obligation.

Dean is approaching his first birthday when their neighbors are murdered.

Nice people, the Ashleys, if overbearing in their unwaveringly friendly personalities. They seemed to try very hard to get everyone in the neighborhood to like them, which made it even more shocking to discover Adam Ashley’s body strung like a kabob on the power lines between their houses.

Sam didn’t jump the gun, which was reasonable in a small town where, for the last fifteen years, nothing at all insinuous has happened, but it was the protective father and skilled hunter in him that double checked the locked doors at night, poured salt beneath the windows, and kept a loaded shotgun beside the bed.

Only days later, the Bishop’s girl, Vanessa, was subjected to the same fate. That hit Mary the hardest; Vanessa was on her Little League team, and it’s not a great thing to deal with for a pre-teen just entering high school.

For the first time in over a decade, Sam took inventory of his arsenal while Mary was at school and Dean was asleep. He cleaned and reloaded his guns, sharpened his daggers, restocked the salt bags. Carved stakes, shined silver, and flipped through his old log book to hopefully find whatever the fuck is tormenting the kids in his domain.

Eileen walks in and watches him from the doorway for a while. Then she claims the spot beside him and starts reloading the pistols, her fingers still deft and quick. Quicker than he is, and she gives him a smug smirk as she takes the next one, and Sam huffs a laugh and carry on like they aren’t preparing for the worst to hit their picturesque homescape.

You know we can’t take it on alone, she says.

We have before, he tells her.

We were younger then. Less kids. She says this with a smile, but he knows the second birth took its toll on her and they’re still struggling with that loss.

We might be the only ones who can help, he says instead.

Your heart can’t take it.

I’ve survived worse.

She isn’t happy with his answer, especially when he looks away and she can’t read his lips.

Before this can lead to an argument, a series of heavy knocks come to their door. They glance at each other, and only in the way of a long marriage they communicate through couple’s telepathy. Sam tucks a glock in his pants as he approaches the front door while Eileen takes care of the mess of unregistered guns hidden beneath their family room’s floor.

Crafting a smile, Sam answers the door. He means to open with a friendly, Hey, how are ya? Followed by a fatherly pat on the back at whichever neighbor decided to drop by with condolences or gossip. Instead, he finds himself reeling at the visitors.

Two young woman stand just outside their front door, chests puffed, suits that are too wide on the shoulders and hang too low on their fingertips, hands holding out FBI badges, they spew a rehearsed speech about investigating the local murders.

Sam waits for them to finish before giving them a lopsided, more familiar grin, as he asks for their boss’ number.

The girls give each other a quick glance, one of internal panic and the other of external. The prior one digs out a business card with a number professionally printed on it, and Sam digs his cell phone out of his pocket and dials the number.

It rings, and rings, and Sam wonders if maybe he miscalculated, maybe he was wrong - and then a click.

Director Harris speaking.

Sam stifles a laugh. The gruff voice on the other end asks who’s calling and threatens to hang up. Sam pulls himself together long enough to speak.

Hey, Dean.

A long pause. Sam waits. The girls’ eyes are wide and they seem to be trying to communicate to each other through eyes only. Then,

Hi, Sammy.

Now I would end it there except I want more Castiel content and I know you do too, so, after this, the screen fades to black and we think the credits are gonna roll. But then, in the Empty, there’s a muffled voice saying something we can’t make out yet. There’s some static in the background that quiets and quiets and continues until, very clearly, we hear:

“Cas. Hey, Cas! Wake up!”

Cut to black, credits roll.

#an open ending is all I hoped for and they couldn’t get that right #supernatural #destiel #spn #spn s15 #spn spoilers #Ig? idk #markiboss talks #markiboss writes #rewrites #sorry about the lack of a cut I wrote this whole thing on mobile

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