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sweeteastart · 3 years

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✨Day 7✨

for the @khoc-week 2021 !

Themes : 1. Home, 2. Genderswap, 3. What was your character creation like ?

Buckle up because this is going to be quite a long one this time around they were all pretty long posts until now but humour me x)

Mikana

1. For Mikana, spending time with Sakore, her sister and Nox, pretty much her adopted sibling, is the closest feeling to home. When she is with them, darkness, light and all her problems disappeared and she puts all her attention on them.

2. Genderbend Mikana is... Pretty much just Mikana lmao. He is has aloof and friendly. However, in this men form, you can much clearly see Lea's impact on her design ahaha. He name would maybe something like Miko ?

3. Mikana is the oldest kh character i created. She was created around the end of 2019, start of 2020. i got really invested in kh quick late compared to most,,, Really i first created her because i was, and still am, a big fan of Lea. You can see the inspiration i took from his design from her side hair and bang lmao.

Mikana, like all the character i draw, soon took a life of her own. The more i drew and imagined scenarios with her, the more her personality constructed itself without me realizing it (she is aloof, level-headed, family oriented). I truly build most of it throught an AU of mine named "Magical AU". Her clothing style which is really 70/80's s still on of the thing i like the most about her.

The khocweek2020 also helped a lot (pass time, family ties, short terms and long term goals,...) !

Sika

1. Eventually in the story, Sika just kinda absorb into the sea salt trio household. She lives with them like the others kids and is just like a sister for them all. However, even in this next found home found family go brrrr she has some difficulties waking up in the morning.

2. Sika as a boy would just be her sweet self as always. This design ended up turning out much softer and sweet than what I anticipated but I kinda love it. When I was thinking about names, I couldn't really think of much only Soka came to mind at first and that's just a ATLA character lmao so I just kept Sika. I think it's neutral enough to fit a male or female character :D

3. Sika is a special case to say the least. At first, she was one of my fiction character. I never published it anywhere but it was 45 pages long of slice of life of her living in Twilight Town and being Lea and Isa friend,,, Again, herpersonnality build herself up without me thinking much about it (she is bubbly, kind, responsible, ressourceful). But what's truly different about it was that i had her personnality BEFORE i created her appearance. It's really rare for me to do that.

HOWEVER i wasn't satisfied. My writing was too confused... So i scraped all 45 pages of writing i did. i had a hard time doing so because it represented DAYS of work for nothing. I started everything from the beginning. It was then that i truly integrated Orion and Erid properly into the story and created Master Ivi. Some keypoint are still the same but i changed the story quite a lot.

Bunny and Anis

1. Truly, Anis and Bunny always felt at home whenever they were with each other. This feeling extended to their significant other and close friends as they grew older. Whatever the house, what make them feel home is having the people taht matter to them by their side.

2. Bunny and Anis were REALLY a headache to do. Since they are identical twins I feared their genderbend would just look like any another. However, I quickly realized I could use their controsting personalities to my advantage. Bunny genderbend looks like a quiet and successful uncle while Anis genderbend looks like this fun but a bit unhinged aunt you love.

Their names would be Anise for Anis and Hare for Bunny,,,

3. At the beginning, Bunny was simply my Khux player character. I didn't do much art or think much about her or her story. Funnily enough, this is last year khocweek that truly made me flesh her out ! Without it, Bunny would most likely stayed a surface level character. Her name was also mostly a joke but ended up really like it.

When it comes to personality, she mostly have the player personality from KHux and follow the same story. Well except for the final sacrifice (Anis took on this part x)).

Anis was created not too long after last year khocweek. I was simply playing around with the male dressing interface, creating a sort of genderbend of Bunny and... Got attached to the character lmao. With his name, i stayed in the food related realm really i tend to mostly name my character after food... .

His peronnality was mostly created based on the dynamic energic and calm character have. Since Bunny is a very calm and silent person, having a twin brother loud and energetic could make out for funny and ridiculous situation. I really like the dynamic.

Pêche

1. I have yet to decide a definite end to Pêche's story. Their story is yet to find the comfort in hurt/comfort in the current state of her fanfic x) However I can vaguely imagine that someday, they would be have healed enough to trust the guardians of light.

2. Genderbend Pêche was really hard for me. Like some might have guessed Pêche's goes with neutral pronouns and have a generally androgyne appearance : the biggest reason is that I get the impression Pêche doesn't identify as anything. They are there suffering but hey they will have help and slowly heal from all the bad things they experienced. So I just altered their body shape a bit and cut their hair ?

3. Pêche wasn't a really serious character at first. For one, she was a fiction character and more importantly a sort of punching ball character. When i felt bad, i wrote her and felt better. But soon enough my brain started to really like her and from there, i couldn't help but fleshed her out. She needed a coherent story. Well coherent doesn't mean simple for me x) her story is a beautiful mess to understand.

Also i wanted to think about some kind of writing prompt i had : What if Xehanort had a student ? Eraqus as some but Xehanort never explicetly said he never had any so my brain went brrrrr ; What or when did Xehanort truly descended into darkness ? The old men is so intense in the game but Eraqus still think of him as good until he dies ??? It means Xehanort was at least okay for a bunch of time then, right ???? ; What if Xehanort succeded in completing a heart ? lmao this one made available so much angst i couldn't pass it,,,

So this is the end of my khocweek. Even with all my preparation I still had to rush the last few drawnings ahah. Anyways I had such a sweets and good week! I rarely have the occasion of talking about my ocs to strangers and have actual reactions. Interactions I get from the khocweek make my heart warms up 🥺 I thanks all the khocweek team and all the other talented participants from the bottom of my hearts 💜💜 I hope to be there next year and see some familiar ocs again 👀

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flame-shadow · 3 years

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Leisken the Lonely

[headsup- this one has some minor child abuse and bad parents, although it's implied that they get what they deserve in the end]

---

Things are getting worse.

The butterfly doesn’t talk much, but they listen plenty. Apparently, they’re safe to share secrets around. Is it because nobody would listen to them? Because of their stutter? Or because they’re viewed as less than a bug, less than an actual member of society? They don’t know, and it doesn’t really matter which reason because it’s probably all of those reasons anyway.

They stifle a yawn, waft their wings, and hold them out again for the fancy bugs nearby to view. A late night party with rich food and fermented drinks and plenty of whispers and gossip.

Rumors of sickness. Famine. Disputes. Violent disagreements. Should we leave the City? It’s probably more dangerous beyond. Have you heard if they’re going to close the gates? That would protect us, right?

Leisken fans their wings again. They feel warm. Cautiously, they turn their head to observe more of the room. Is anyone else feeling this heat? It… doesn’t look like it. They must be imagining it. Maybe it’s not having drunk anything in a while. Maybe it’s the discomfort of what they’re hearing. Maybe it’s…

YOU COULD KILL THEM, YOU KNOW.

Leisken jolts off their stool, falling to an undignified heap. Immediately, they attempt to scramble to their feet, but already Mother is storming over, her skirts and scarves roiling. With a tight grip on their arm, she jerks them up and drags them to the side of the room, away from the nearest cluster of socializing guests.

“What did you do?” she hisses.

“I-I-I j-jj- I just-” Leisken stammers, trying to keep from pulling away.

“What is it this time?”

“Mm-mm.. It’s-s-”

“Weakness is what it is. You’re supposed to be working on that.”

“I c-cann- I’ll d-do bbetter- I’ll j-just-” They turn their head to look at their stool. They’ll sit there if it means-

“No. No no no, you’re done. You ruined it. If I let you go back out there..." She clicks in aggravation. "But I won’t. You don’t deserve that. To your room. Don’t bother any of the servants. Don’t leave until I come for you.”

Their wings droop.

“None of that. Retain your dignity.”

Leisken obediently fixes their wings to an approved angle. They notice Father standing nearby wearing his guests-think-I’m-just-a-little-bored-but-actually-I’m-furious-at-you face. It’s hard to keep their wings from drooping again.

Mother waves her hand. “Go on.”

Stiffly, they turn and walk at a measured pace for the nearest side door. “Sometimes, I don’t know why we keep bothering with you,” Mother says under her breath but still where Leisken can hear. They’re sure they were meant to hear it. They resolve to do better next time. They make this resolution all the time. They’re not sure they’ve actually gotten any better at anything.

They stumble, but they make it to the door and slip out, almost catching the edge of a wing in their haste to put the door between themself and the ballroom. And hopefully that voice.

Miserably, they pass by a servant conveying a tray of food to the guests without interaction.

YOU COULD KILL THEM, YOU KNOW.

They trip as they whirl around. Again on the floor. They look around a little frantically, but they quickly stay their terror as the servant, an expression of concern, stops to look at them. But they’re not supposed to interact! Leisken pushes themself to their feet and shuffles quickly away. To their room. It’s nothing special. But they can almost be alone here. Almost be safe. That’s what they pretend, anyway. It helps. A little bit. Maybe.

But they’re still warm. Uncomfortably so. It’s never warm in here.

YOU COULD KILL THEM, YOU KNOW.

Where is that voice coming from?! Nobody should be in here with them! Tremulously, they speak: “H-hello..?”

No answer.

“Pl-please… I n-n-need to- I ddon’t want to k-k-k-k…”

YOU DON’T HAVE TO WANT TO.

They breathe shakily.

ARE YOU HAPPY HERE?

Automatically, they nod, even though they’re not sure what happy feels like. They’re not supposed to reveal their discomfort, much less their misery.

Silence. Warm silence. Hot silence. Oppressive silence.

Leisken stands stiffly and waits.

A gust of cool air washes over them along with Father’s voice: “You missed the servant’s knock summoning you to breakfast. Surely, you aren’t still trying to-- Oh?”

Leisken blinks and stiffly turns to see Father standing in the doorway.

“Practicing your form? Maybe you’re finally learning. Well. Come along, it’s time for lunch.”

Weakly, Leisken follows.

----

Things carry on as they did before.

Except not really.

All those things that Leisken had heard rumors about? They are becoming more than rumors. People are getting hungry and hurt and scared. Leisken is too, but they do their best not to show it. And when they feel the heat, they expect the voice to follow. They do their best not to show a reaction to either of those.

They’re losing it. They know that. They’ve long suspected, but these are… These are hallucinations. Or something. Right? Not real. Nobody else feels the heat. Nobody else reacts to the voice. … unless everyone else is hiding their reactions too?

One day, they notice that one of their antennae aches. It’s not much, but they swear it feel hot even when the rest of their body isn’t experiencing that sensation.

“Leisken. Stay focused.”

“R-right.” they mumble, adjusting their posture.

“Honestly, it’s like you’re trying to irritate me. …I’m waiting.”

They do a quick check of themself, but everything feels positioned how she’d want it to be.

“Your antenna.”

“M-my..?” They thought they were holding them both in the same way, at the proper angle and curve. Hesitantly, they reach up to feel them. The one that always feels warm now is stiffer except for toward the end. The club part feels hotter than the rest. And heavier?

“Something the matter?”

“Mmgh.. I d-d-don’t--”

“Forget I asked,” Mother scoffs in an offended tone as she turns away.

Leisken suppresses a wince as they try to coax the stubborn antenna into an acceptable shape.

---

“Why didn’t you say anything to us about this?”

“I d-d-didn’t-t-thin-nk th--”

“You need to tell us about things like this. You understand that, right? We need you to look your best, and this? This isn’t it.” Mother holds the antenna none too gently, but Leisken can barely feel her fingers over the heat. The swollen clubbed ending throbs painfully. “This won’t do. You can’t attend the party like this. People will ask questions.”

“O-oh…” Not have to attend a party..? That’s.. That’s..! But, they shouldn’t get their hopes up. And besides, the antenna is still...

Mother snaps her fingers toward another bug. “Come here. Take them to get this fixed. If it needs to be amputated, get a prosthetic. Asymmetrical antennae are not what people want to see.”

The servant bows and takes a step nearer Leisken who doesn’t want anything amputated, but… What can they do?

---

“We’ve already had the servants stock it and move enough of our things over. We’ll go there soon enough. ...Leisken, stop playing with that. You’ll just mess it up, and with businesses closing their doors, who knows if we’d be able to get you a replacement.”

Leisken lowers their hand. They’re not used to having the prosthetic antenna. They think they look fine without it. And there are no bugs to show off to right now. Everyone here knows. And it’s not like they’re symmetrical anywhere else.

Besides, the antenna still aches, still feels warm. But that swollen bit on the end... it’s good that was removed. The orange that oozed out startled the surgeon, but the servant assured Leisken that everything would be fine. Their parents wouldn’t learn about this.

They’re soon told to pack up and be prepared to leave. But once they’re in their room, they just sit on the hard bed. What’s there to pack up? Nothing. Their room is decorated with items that other bugs have picked out for them. They don’t care to take anything with them.

They sigh and wonder when they’ll hear the voice again.

---

But it’s not until they’re in the vault, safe and secure as the City falls apart outside, that the voice deigns to talk to them again.

DO THEY REALLY THINK THEY’RE SAFE HERE?

Leisken’s breath catches.

DO THEY THINK I CAN’T REACH THEM HERE?

They close their eyes and hug their arms to their body.

“Leisken,” calls Father sharply from across the room. He’s making that face again. “It’s only been a couple weeks. You’d better keep it together.”

They nod and try to relax their body. They’re hot, but they know it’s not because of their clothes. Nor the stuffy vault they’re trapped in. Nor the constant judgmental presence of their guardians.

YOU COULD KILL THEM, YOU KNOW.

They don’t want to-

IMAGINE! NO NAGGING, NO PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT AND PRESENTABLE!

They don’t-

YOU’D FINALLY BE FREE TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO!

They-

YOU WANT THIS.

They do.

THAT’S RIGHT. YOU COULD KILL THEM. EVERYTHING WOULD CHANGE FOR YOU.

It would.

It will.

It does.

---

It’s so dark.

IT’S SO LIGHT, YOU MEAN.

There’s no purpose for anything.

JUST LISTEN TO ME.

There’s no point in hiding the bodies. They’re all hidden down here together. Forever.

FOREVER.

Alone forever…

NOT QUITE. YOU’RE WITH ME FOREVER.

With you…

---

Time has no meaning in forever. It’s always warm and light. Nobody judges them because there’s nobody to judge. They don’t have to adjust their posture because they don’t have a body. Not really. It’s not theirs. It hasn’t been for a long time.

Leisken hasn’t been in a long time.

Leisken was their name, right? That’s… that was them?

Why does that matter now?

Why does it…

Where are their…

What’s over th…

Oh.

...

They…

They need to get out.

They fumble weakly at the locks and mechanisms. They cry and they shake and they try not to think. They’d gotten so good at not thinking.

Out! They’re out! They stumble out into the rain and collapse. What do they feel? They don’t know. But they feel. And that feels significant.

Slowly, they force themself to rise. To stand. To lean against a crumbling stone wall.

Why do they feel so cold? More cold than this rain could make them.

Why do they feel so alone? More alone than the empty streets around them.

Disorientated, confused, tired, terrified.

Leisken moves forward.

---

[bonus art because it's a mood]

#leisken #hollow knight #hollow knight oc #the radiance #mywriting #okay so this one implies things in multiple places but i believe it's still clear enough #art is old but fits well enough

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the-new-anime-girl · 3 years

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Hiii!! I just read your post about Gojo and sugar and overstimulation and I need mooooore info!!! I really like it and I want to read it with details, could you do a long post about that?? (I don’t care if it has ten page on Word, I’ll gladly read it <3) have a wonderful day and stay safe!!!

Thank you for the ask, it really surprised me in a good way when I saw it, and I hope this post is satisfactory! Don't be afraid to ask for clarifications, I'll use my still-shallow understanding of psychology to answer to the best of my abilities!

Now, MANGA SPOILERS FOR JJK (Mainly Flashback arc)! Enjoy :)

Let's begin with my hypothesis that Gojo is especially sensitive to some types of physical touch, in this case pain. I think that's because of the infinity (which he used only in battle as a teen but seems to always use as an adult). Gojo isn't used to being injured and feeling pain like that. As an adult he may even be unused to everyday pains like stubbing a toe.

Him being unused to any serious pain may explain his intense reaction during the fight against Toji.

When he is suddently gravely injured for maybe the first time and that pain persists over time (I don't have the exact time but we can assume at least almost half an hour from the first fight with Tojo to the rematch), his brain could register the sensory information extremely dangerous and set off alarms Big Time™.

As an adult I also think the continuous use of Infinity against almost anything and everything could lead to Gojo feeling understimulated in spite of all the information (or visual stimuli) he gets from the Six Eyes.

People who are chronically understimulated seek out experiences which stimulate them in the sense that the nervous system is aroused (activated). Activities like this include parachuting or gambling. Gojo uses the physical 'stimulant' of sugar, but he could also be arousing his nervous system in other ways, by seeking out excitement. (I'm actually wondering if his teasing of other people to get reactions is one of those ways).

Before diving into excitement we need to talk about the mechanisms behind why we approach or avoid things -we need to talk about BAS and BIS.

Firstly, and more interestingly in this case, is BAS. BAS stands for Behavioural Approach System, its the signal we that encourages us to approach something, like food, warmth or friendly people.

People with highly activated BAS are very sensitive to rewards and more likely to approach situations that can give them good rewards, in spite of significant risks!

People who are understimulated may have more BAS tendencies, so could this be another part of Gojo's character?

Well, he doesn't seem to have a strong BIS. BIS stands for Behavioural Inhibition System, and it's what makes us avoid something. People with very active BIS are more sensitive to punishment, and can often avoid situations in fear of a negative outcome, despite the possibilities of great reward.

To me Gojo definitely feels more like a person dominated by the BAS. And why would he not be? He is The Strongest™, he doesn't have to worry about most fights because he always has his raw power to fall back on. If he goes all out with no restraints he will always win, so there is no reason not to approach a situation if he wants to. And I'm not saying he always succeeds, even in the fight against Jogo he doesn't learn anything and Jogo gets away, but he wins the physical fight.

And even as Jogo gets away, Gojo doesn't seem sad or angry, he is happy -smiling and joking with Yuuji!

In most fights that Gojo participates in he seems calm and collected, but often times he also seems glad! For example with how he in the fight itself jokes around and toys with Jogo, reveling in mocking him.

This is his personality, but that is ofc influenced by the underlying psychological mechanisms and processes. So this behaviour could be seen as him entering fights giddy because he is chasing a possible high reward.

And this could be another way for him to seek the excitement he needs because he feels understimulated, and is spured on by his strong BAS.

The excitement and arousal Gojo seeks in fights may be what makes him reach optimal level of arousal. This is another mechanism I mentioned in my original post, but to put it simply optimal level of arousal refers to activation of the nervous system and how well one performs a task. If a task is easy or well-practiced we can perform it our best under pressure (but not too much), but if we're new to the task even smal amounts of pressure can make us fail miserably.

Gojo seems to reach optimal level of arousal during fights, he always performs well in the fights themselves. As stated in the manga, Gojo is in his element when he fights alone. Easy fights don't push him, so he seems more at ease there, but harder fights (early Shibuya *cough* *cough*) definitely makes it seem like he is "in the zone" -optimal level of arousal, I would rather say!

Returning to his fight against Toji, I would argue that the overwhelming sensations he felt on top of the effects of the Six Eyes pushed him out of optimal level of arousal, which made him falter and fail.

But it was also in that near death experience that he "grasped the core of cursed energy", suddently understanding a lot of previous unavailable information. All of this combined probably made his brain go 'haywire', firing off and obscene amount of signals even as it was being regenerated.

All of this activation in Gojo's nervous system could have been too much for him, and made him (at leas feel) overstimulated.

(just a note bc I love talking about psychology; overstimulated ppl often want to receive less stimulation and people with naturally more stimulated nervous systems therefore seek less excitement in daily life, preferring fewer people and more quiet.)

Gojo seemed ecstatic in the rematch against Toji -Toji even asked (in the translation I read) if Gojo was high. As the rematch began Gojo was giddy and excited talking about his new knowledge, shouting and laughing. This lends itself to the reading of Gojo being overstimulated, since one symptom I didn't touch on in the original post, is feeling overly excited. At the same time, near the end of the rematch, Gojo seems to have calmed down and become more detached - thinking calmly about Amanai, his emotions and motives, while also quoting Buddha.

When Gojo meets up again with Getou, he looks exhausted, the tiredness from before the fight finally catching up to him.

This time he falls bellow optimal level of arousal, the excitement he may have gotten from the fight is over, and after Getou stops him from massacring the cult there is nothing left to do. As the stressful situation comes to an end, there is nothing he can do except wind down as the adrenalin leaves his system.

I don't have anything more to say for now, as I feel I've covered everything I wanted to in this post (and god it became longer than I thought it would!). I hope it was a little informative, and if you read the entire thing, thank you! <3

#Jjk #Gojo Satoru #Jujutsu kaisen #Jjk manga spoilers #Jjk analysis #Jujutsu kaisen manga spoilers #Gojou Satoru #Satoru Gojo #Satoru Gojou #once again im posting in the evening when Im a little tired so ill have to check this again tomorrow and see what new spelling mistake I did #oh well

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laserdog10 · 4 years

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Union of a Prince and Dragon

*Valentine’s Day. A time of love, a day of sweet things both material and inmaterial, a simple date with your significant other, many things can and will happen on this day. But when you’re the Schnee family in particular, February fourteenth was reserved for a monumental wedding between Whitley Schnee, youngest of the Schnee bloodline, and Yang Xiao Long, renowned Huntress the “Great Sun Dragon” and one of the heroes of Remnant. Everything was set up perfectly, the isle, the altar, the piano (with Klein as the pianist), the bride’s maids Ruby, Weiss, Blake, Nora, and Penny, and the best men Jaune, Neptune, Sun, Ren, and Oscar. The only thing now was to wait for Yang to walk down the isle.*

Jaune: You nervous?

Whitley: Very, what gave it away?

Sun: You’ve been adjusting your collar for thirty minutes now.

Whitley: *pauses then stops fiddling with his tux* Apologies.

Neptune: Trust us when we say it’s okay, you are marrying the Yang Xiao Long!

Ren: Need my Semblance to calm you down?

Oscar: I still got some tea leftover from yesterday!

Whitley: Thank you, but I’ll be fine, really. I just...never thought this day would come. I’ve always had my father attempt to set me up with some pompous girl while he discussed business with their parents, needless to say I didn’t fall for any of them.

Neptune: Dang...

Sun: No offense dude, but wow your dad was a turbo douchebag.

JRO: Preach.

Whitley, chuckling: Heh, none taken, Sun.

*The boys rambled on and smack-talked Jacques, the brides maids sat in the pews of the church rather bored.*

Nora: Ugh where is she?! It’s been almost two hours now!

Penny: It’s actually been approximately two hours and thirty minutes.

Weiss: If she thinks she can stand up my brother AND have us spend billions for her wedding!

Blake: Alright, relax, she could just be as nervous as anyone would be in this situation.

Ruby: ...

*The reaper sat in thought, yes anyone has been filled with endless anxiety when they were about to get married, but even she knew her own sister wouldn’t let something like this get to her. However her train of thought was cut short when her niece, Lea, began to get quite fussy.*

Ruby: *bouncing Lea on her knee* I know sweetie, you wanna see momma very badly, it’ll be fine!

Lea: *distressed “I wanna see mommy!” whining*

Ruby: *sighs, stands up*

Weiss: Ruby?

Ruby: I’ll be right back. We’re going to see momma, Lea! *she excitedly whispered to her niece*

Lea: *giddy baby noises as she bounces in Ruby’s arms*

*Whilst within the bridal room, the blonde brawler was short of being a nervous wreck, her mother Raven, and soon to be step mother Willow, and friend of the family Kali were consoling the poor Huntress. Outside stood Taiyang, Qrow, and Ghira, with concerned expressions*

Ruby, walking up: Hey! Is something wrong?

Qrow: Sorry about the hold up kiddo, but firecracker’s being a bit...emotional right now.

Tai: She won’t even talk to me.

Ghira: It’s probably best we don’t get involved, lady business and all that.

Ruby: ...let me in.

Tai: You sure?

Ruby: Do you want to see Yang walk down that isle or not?

*The three men looked to themselves, but granted Ruby access to the room. Walking in the first thing she heard was light sobs, then she found her sister, aunt, and the sight of the three women close to everyone in the building*

Ruby: Yang?

Yang: Hey, Ruby...now’s probably not a good time, I look like a mess right now.

Kali: Oh nonsense sweetie! A little runny makeup hasn’t hurt anyone...too much.

Raven: Yang...

Ruby: Look at me.

Yang: Ruby, please-

Ruby, more firmly: Look. At. Me.

*Sighing, Yang turned to look at her sister, only to instead see the face of her one year old daughter held out by Ruby’s arms. Lea joyously reached for her mother*

Ruby: Do you see this? Your daughter is proof you’re ready for this, you can take this next step in your life. Yes you may have to slow down nowadays, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up on doing what you want. *brings her into a hug, Lea included* I hope you understand?

Yang: *tears welling in her eyes* Yeah, I do. Geez, when did you have to be the one to lecture me?

Ruby: I had a good mom figure after all.

Raven, internally: *”Wow, that wasn’t offensive...”*

Willow: Yang, dear, if I may but ever since you met Whitley, you’ve been such a positive influence on his life and...I honestly cannot thank you enough. No doubt Jacques would’ve disapproved of you but...

Yang: You couldn’t give a rat’s ass about his input?

Willow: I was going to say ‘damn,’ yours sounds better.

*SNAP!*

Kali: One for the scrapbook!

*A laugh was shared between the girls except for Raven, who sat with guilt*

Ruby: Well, shall we get you down that isle to meet your hubby?

Yang: Let’s do it!

*And off they walked, but behind stayed Raven, pulling aside her daughter*

Yang: Mom?

Raven: Listen, I-*gets hugged*

Yang: I already know what you’re gonna say, and I’ll just say this: I’m just glad you’re here. It’s enough, more than enough actually.

Raven, shaky voice: ...I love you.

Yang: *smiles* I love you too.

*Upon the altar stood Whitley, dressed in his navy blue tux, black dress pants, and magnificent tie, embroidered with pristine crystals forming snowflakes. In front of him was Yang in a golden wedding dress, lined with a fiery red trim. Holding hands they looked into each other’s eyes, whilst Ozpin read off the wedding vows.*

Oz: Do you, Yang Xiao Long, take this man to have and to hold on, through sickness and health, on this day forward? *Ruby dashes in front of him*

Ruby: And to kick all sorts of Grimm together?!

Yang, proudly: I do!

Oz, stifling a chuckle: And do you Whitley Schnee-

Whitley: Yes.

Ruby: You didn’t let him finish...

Whitley, blushing: I’m just very excited.

Ozpin: Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

*With that, they sealed the age old tradition with a kiss. The church erupting with the joyous cries of friends and family alike, camera flashes abound, capturing the moment a prince found his one and only, a strong and caring dragon.*

(A/N: AND IT IS DONE! Only...*checks calendar*...three days late for Valentine’s Day!!! Okay, I’ll be honest, I am very sorry I got this done so late, it was my first time writing a wedding story and I felt like it would’ve dragged on if I went longer. Motivation and thinking on what to write utterly wrecked me, but it was all worth it in the end.)

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rex101111 · 4 years

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aaaaaand 💌 with namine and xion

Xion stared at pure, blinding white, an infinite expanse of blank space stretching on longer and longer the more she looked.

It’s oblivion made manifest, a void of meaning and significance, a square of nothing that drew her mind and eyes to it so and made her a meaningless, mindless prop of a person.

It was supposed to be a God damned love letter, but it insisted to be a blank piece of A4 paper, mocking her with it’s sheer white facade and insulting her deepest heart’s desire to just-

“Break.” She muttered with bloodshot eyes in a voice filled with sudden horror, “I should take a break.”

She put down her pencil, pushed her chair back and rubbed circles on her temple. She’d sat down over an hour ago, and her progress was evident by the large pile of crumpled paper to her left that, presumably, hid a small waste basket somewhere near the bottom.

It needed to be just right, every word needed to be just right, every phrase and every punctuation mark had to be just where it needed to be because the person she was writing for deserved no less.

Her cheeks felt warm just thinking of her golden hair and radiant smile, how she bit her upper lip as she concentrated on her artwork, her laugh that floated and bounced around the air, she was perfect.

“...now why the hell am I having so much trouble writing that down?”

Xion dragged herself back to her empty page, grabbing her pencil with a renewed sense of purpose...which led absolutely nowhere.

Yesterday she had spent a whole day in Radiant Garden with Namine, shopping and eating ice cream and watching her draw flowers when Xion had a sudden, earth shattering revelation.

She was in love, utterly smitten with her blond friend. This was a moment of supreme happiness for her...until she realized she would probably have to do something with those feelings, probably tell Namine about them.

The thought itself was enough to cause immense panic and make a lame excuse to Namine to be able to run off back home and try and formulate a plan about how she would tell Namine about how she felt without melting into a puddle of goo just by sitting next to her.

After a few hours of mulling over strategies with a clueless Roxas and a smug Lea (who had apparently won some sort of bet involving her crush on Namine and so was impossibly even more smug than usual), crying about how she would never confess her feelings on account of being a coward, and then sleeping on it (thus having a dream about Namine that she will take with her to the grave), she finally had a solution.

If she could not say what she felt, she would write it!

Brilliant!

Except for the fact that she had no idea where to even begin.

She got as far as sitting in a chair next to a writing desk with paper and a pencil, and was now stuck in that horrible limbo of having an idea tap dance in you hard with cement shoes, demanding to be heard and seen, but unable to form it on paper in a way that was good enough to be read by anyone with eyes.

She put the pencil down again, resting her forehead on the desk with a sorrowful moan, thinking she might want to reschedule this panic attack disguised as a writing session for another day when her mind wasn’t complete garbage.

And then she felt a large hand grip her shoulder, a gruff voice, almost like a growl, following suit, “Xion, are you alright?”

She raised her head from her empty page to see Isa, staring grimly at her with his own stern version of concern, and managed to stomp down her gut instinct to cower from eyes that weren’t glowing yellow anymore to smile tiredly at him, “I’m fine, really...just having a bit of...writer’s block.”

“Ah, you’re love letter.” He nodded sharply, an understanding hum rumbling in his throat, “yes Lea did mention you locking yourself in here in hopes of putting your emotions on paper.”

Xion sighed deeply and sagged in her chair, “Yeah, well apparently being a pseudo-Nobody for a while might have had some negative effects on me because I can’t seem to do that.”

Isa rubbed his chin thoughtfully, looking between Xion and the blank page, “do you know how you feel about her?”

“I love her.” She says, certainly, an edge of steel in her voice. She’s gotten very attached to her heart for the short time she’s had it, she had no intention of ignoring it or misunderstanding it. Speaking it to her? That was the problem, she had no issue knowing her heart as deeply as she could, “I love everything about her, she makes me happy just being with her, she makes this life I’ve gotten...worthy, like there’s something I could do with it if I can make her as happy as she makes me.”

Isa was quiet for a moment, waiting for her to finish, before nodding shortly again, “well then, perhaps you’re overthinking this?”

“It needs to be perfect Isa, this letter needs to say exactly what I feel,” She looked down at the paper again, biting her lower lip, “she deserves nothing less than my best...”

“Is your best perfect?” Isa asks directly, he waits for her to look at him before he continues, “consider who you’re writing this for, if Namine cares for you half as much as you do for her, what would she want to hear from you?”

Xion didn’t say anything for a long moment, blinking as things clicked into place in her head, her lips tilting up at the edges, “she’d...want me to be honest with her...” she looked back on her blank page, “...I can do that, I can manage honest.”

“Good, try that then.”

“....can I say how weird it is to hear you giving me advice? Considering our history?”

“Less talking more writing, you mumbling in here is starting to make Lea and Roxas nervous.”

She laughed, and turned to her desk one last time, her grip on her pencil sure and certain.

She put pencil to paper, and words flowed like water, a flood of thoughts staining the pure white with bold black and filling it with meaning, washing it with her feelings and all she wanted to say.

When she looked up, she had written down everything she wanted Namine to know, and now all she needed to do was...give it...to...her....

“Oh no...”

A sigh from above her, “would you like me to-”

She shoved the letter in an envelope, closed it, drew a simple heart on the face of it, and presented it to the large man next to her, “please.”

-|-_-|-

Dear Namine,

A day ago I ran off while we were having a good time without explaining myself, and I want to clear the air, and tell you a few things you need to know.

While we were walking through the flower gardens, you smiled at me. That smile was why I ran off like I did. You smiled at me a thousand times before, and every time you did I could feel my chest fill up with fire and a want for you to never stop smiling like that.

But, that day, something else happened. Something clicked in my head, the whole day started arranging itself in my heart in a way that made a few things very clear to me in a way they weren’t before.

Everything you did yesterday made my heart pound, every little word you told me made me blush and nervous, every time I glanced at you I could see the sun shining through your hair and the sky in your eyes and I realized something all at once I should have known from the moment we met.

I love you. I love you so much it overwhelmed me completely, I could think of nothing else besides this revelation, it filled my heart and my head with so much noise I needed to gain some distance so I could figure out how to tell you because being so near you was like flying up to the sun and trying not to burn to ashes.

I always had a hard time just...talking to people, words always fail me when in the moment, and these words could not fail me, because the words I’m writing down to confess this to you are the most important things I ever had to convey to another person.

I don’t want to force you into this, this is just me being as honest as I can possibly be, and you deserve nothing less than my absolute honesty.

If you don’t feel the same...I’ll live, I’ll live and move on and be your friend, like I’ve always been.

But, if you feel the same for me as I feel for you...meet me on the clock tower in twilight town tomorrow evening, I’ll be waiting for you, with my heart in my hands so I could give it to you...though you already stole it the day we met.

With love,

Xion.

-|-_-|-

Xion sat on the porch of the clock tower with a heavy feeling of dread, the time of her meeting with Namine slowly creeping up on her. That feeling only growing heavier as she remembered the letter Isa had given her when he got back from delivering her love confession.

“Namine had her own words for you, she said to read it when you get to the clock tower.”

Which, of course, did nothing to assuage her anxiety, not knowing what Namine could possibly have to say to her before meeting her. Perhaps a gentle rejection to soften the blow before she did it in person? Or maybe a request to forever leave her alone?

She was panicking again, and she sighed with the resolution to just get it over with, remembering her promise to honor whatever Namine felt in turn, she opened the envelope, and found two pieces of paper inside.

With some sense of dread and anticipation, she started reading;

Dear Xion,

Before I meet you at the clock tower, I want to tell you something in this letter.

Words tend to fail me too, though I can’t really write either, at least not half as wonderfully as you wrote to me.

For me, pictures always helped me speak more freely than anything.

So, here’s a picture that might be able to tell you half of what I feel for you.

Seeing you soon,

Namine.

Xion gulped loudly, putting the letter down and looking at the picture Namine had drawn for her and included with her letter, her face burning like someone poured gasoline on her.

It was the two of them, Namine and Xion, viewed from the back, standing in front of a sprawling expanse of flowers, their hands hanging tightly onto each other, fingers intertwined.

“Hey.”

She looked up, a few tears falling down her smiling face as she saw Namine sit down next to her, laughing wetly, “hey yourself.”

Namine looked down and giggled quietly when she saw her drawing in Xion’s grip, “so...did you get my message?”

Xion put the two pages down, and held her Namine’s face in her hands, and placed her lips with a feather light kiss.

As the kiss deepened, the sun shined down in front of them, the red glow of the dying light washing over them in a silent blanket of orange embers.

#kingdom hearts #Namishi #at least I think that's the ship name...#Namine #Xion #MAN THIS WAS FUN #hope you like it!#imbeccablee #answers

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semi-imaginary-place · 5 years

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KH3 is like half a game, it feels incomplete and clunky. It sets up events that never happen and tries to force moments without having the build up to support them. The game does some things really well and reaches some truly heartfelt emotional beats and solid character moments.

3:48 PM - 31 Jan 20191 reply0 retweets1 likeReply 1 Retweet Like 1 View Tweet activity

The Disney (and Pixar) worlds were pretty well incorporated and mostly able to contribute thematically to the game unlike sometimes in past games were the worlds were kind of just dropped into the game.

The Toy Box much like Halloween Town brings up how dolls/toys/those who begin as inanimate objects can gain hearts. Monstropolis allows a plausible entry point for Vanitas with the connection between fear induced scream energy and the negative emotions of the unversed.

Of all the worlds, I enjoyed Sora's time with the Big Hero 6 gang the most. Their interactions felt genuine and I had a lot of fun watching them. It also had the most complete arc of the worlds with the continuation of the movie's theme of living after loss.

Most of the worlds' story arcs felt incomplete. Starting in Olympus we are left hanging with Pete finding Pandora's box and the city in ruins. The story just kind of ends. There also was not enough time and build up to give significance to Hercules' choice to rejoin the mortals.

In Twilight Town, with all the discussion surrounding hearts and data from Coded to KH2 to KH3, that a whole other Twilight Town exists was completely dropped. It felt like the game was leading the audience somewhere and then never followed through.

With the Toy Box, the Sora, Goofy, and Donald leave and don't come back with Woody, Buzz, and the others still stranded in another world just hoping to one day meet Andy again. The search for Andy and the other toys is the main arc for this world and its never resolved.

While some worlds aren't quite as obviously half a story arc, all of them could have used more time. Many of them assume you have already seen the source material. In Frozen, Hans being the villian is the big twist but with the first half of the movie cut, there's no impact.

Pirates of the Caribbean makes no sense to anyone who hasn't seen the movies. I wish there was a scene of Sora unlocking Tia Dalma given how it was setup to happen. There was good characterization for Sora here though on how both he and Jack are free spirits.

The Winnie the Poo part while sweet (because I love Winnie the Poo sections) doesn't go anywhere. Sora just loses his connection with Poo and disappears from the cover, and then a few mini games later he's back. Sora's comment on how their bond has weakened never goes anywhere.

In the other games you search for lost pages or help Poo regain his memories, here there is no story. It's a lost opportunity to do, well something, but that can be said of much of the game. They could have used this part to talk about how relationships must be nurtured.

The ending also fell a bit flat because of the buildup-payoff problem. The game tries to show the characters despairing only for someone to swoop in and give them hope. The problem is that in the Keyblade Graveyard they do this so many times it loses its impact.

Given the amount of stuff this game should have resolved, not enough time was spent on that. Instead precious time was spent trying to create sequel hooks. In doing so, the cohesiveness of the game as a unit was compromised. The game was too short for all they tried to achieve.

At times the narrative would point "Look! its a happy/sad/intense/etc. scene", but without a proper build up, these scenes lacked emotional weight.

I'm conflicted on KHUX in KH3. I liked Chirithy reuniting with Ven, Laurium possibly remembering, and Strelitzia's maybe cameo. The black box stuff could have been cut. Its to connect KHUX with future games, but it does nothing for the Xehanort saga and bogs KH3 down.

Then there is the mysterious girl with connections to Lea, Isa, and Ansem that we are only hearing of now. Who is she? Is she Ava? I don't know but they should have saved it for another game.

I thought all the keyblades of the Union members coming to help was a nice touch, but why did Ephemer of all people show up? He was a Dandelion; the player was the one who chose to stay (except the player has no canon appearance in khux which makes them hard to depict).

On one hand I got really excited looking for my KHUX username but on the other hand it was a little too 4th wall breaking and took me out of the game. The other 4th wall leaning scenes with Axel didn't do it for me either.

I did like the definitely-not-instagram loading screens. They were just this side of absurd to be amusing. It was cute. Humor is a subjective thing but I didn't like the increase in jokes in this game. It broke immersion for me.

Some were funny like Verum Rex. Others though felt forced. KH3 had more Donald, Sora, and Goofy poking fun at each other. At first it was fun, but then they kept doing it and it got old.

Maybe its because of all the jokes and narrative problems broke my immersion in the game or maybe its because I'm older now, but KH3 wasn't as magical an experience for me as the other games.

I don't mean magic in how many spells Donald can cast but in that sense wonder, that the extraordinary is possible. That sense of magic is why the Roxas prologue of KH2 is one of my favorite parts of the franchise.

Part of it also is that the section where Sora goes saving everyone's hearts from the Lich after they "died" didn't reach me emotionally. Which is a shame since the part right before where Sora runs around in the Final World and talks with the stars is one of my favorite parts.

I was surprised we didn't see more Dives to the Heart and battles at the center of the heart given the Terranort, Ventus-Vanitas, Xion, etc. After Sora got the power of awakening I was expecting him and Riku to use that to free Xion and Terra.

And then we would get an epic battle where Terra finally kicks Xehanort out of his own body. I also wanted to see Aqua beat up Xehanort. Aqua's suppose to be super strong from spending 10 years in the Realm of Darkness.

Kairi deserved better. Kairi deserved more. 3 games (II, 3D, III) on how Kairi trains to become a keyblade wielder and she doesn't get to do anything. Why was she kidnapped anyways? The answer is to give an excuse for Sora at the end to have a "I must do this alone" moment.

Kairi was kidnapped just so Sora could angst over her and so he could go save her. She deserved better.

The developers really pushed the Sora-Kairi romance this game. I was disoriented since we since the last game we saw a lot of romantic indications was 17 years ago in KH1. Riku got third-wheeled this game.

Enough complaining, parts that worked pretty well/were well executed: Big Hero 6, Monsters Inc, Sora finding the Door to Darkness in Destiny Islands and Aqua returning to the Realm of Light, Sora's interaction with other characters(Rapunzel, BH6, Jack, etc), the Final World.

Visually the environments are amazing! I was so happy running around everywhere. Its pretty. (and the heartless are cute)

KH3 was on the low side for number of worlds visited. Again, I'm surprised how (comparatively) short the game is. There was a lack on Final Fantasy characters as well (or well videogame characters given how TWEWY was in 3D).

I would have loved to see a Moana world. Moana, Maui, and Sora interactions would have been great. Thematically it would have worked too since Moana's plot centers on how Te Fiti losing her heart changed her.

In every KH there's always been some wham moments and that didn't happen to me at all in KH3... until the every end with Luxu. Many of us have been suspicious of Xigbar for a very long time. His organization chair height is too high. He seems to know more than he should...

As much as I am complaining, I do like the Kingdom Hearts III. Its a good game.

I've said it before, but KH:coded is a thematic summary of the entire series and one of the important points in that game is how Data Sora understands hurt. Data Sora understood how to live through hurt and this is something we see Sora learn as well through the games.

In CoM Sora did not understand this. All the way to 3D he did not know how to deal with hurt so when Roxas shared all his pain, that contributed to Sora sinking into darkness. In KH3 though Sora has grown and can accept hurt.

I would have though liked to have seen a more overt conclusion to Sora's relationship to darkness. Sora has always had darkness in him, he's not a princess of heart (or Ven) and there were hints before KH3 that he was falling to darkness.

Anti/Rage form are a manifestations of that darkness. Maybe this was just sloppy character writing, but Sora is noticeably meaner during KH2 and at the end he says "maybe the darkness has gotten to me, too". In KH3, besides rage form Sora's darkness isn't directly addressed.

Back to UX. The devs connected the epilogue, the secret reports, and UX well. That's all that was needed really. From Backcover we already know the black box is important. KH3 shouldn't have wasted time focusing on it.

And about X girl )Shuld?? idk). It really is awkward how they bring her into KH3. If she's the reason Lea and Isa got into this mess they should have dropped a line in 358/2 or one of the other games something like "Don't forget we're doing this for her"

Another good scene was Aqua giving Ven head pats. This gave me life.

Scala ad Caelum was built inverse on top of Daybreak Town. I didn't notice! Never mind what I said earlier, there's the "oh shit... what" moment. I'm just going to sit here mind blown thinking of all the implications...

#kh #kh3 #kh3 spoilers #spoilers #i really did like the game #kingdom hearts

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migleefulmoments · 6 years

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What I would love for someone in the CC fantasy world to explain to me is how they supposedly got ALL the Starkids and like every single famous person that (mostly) Darren has ever come in contact with to sign all these convoluted contracts. Like Sarah Hyland. The girl has money. She’s got more than Darren probably. But somehow his team has enough money to buy her silence? In what would does that make sense? Legally, it doesn’t. Nor does it make any other kind of sense.

I know right! Who is paying for all these contracts-it would be a fortune? And how is it that not one person has slipped up and given the secret away or even hinted at it...and it would be a lot of people at this point because it would not only be all the people they claim ‘know” the truth, but their significant others and all the crew on the shows Darren has worked on. It would be thousands and thousands of people all keeping this a secret. Right. Today she claimed again that Darren’s team- not Darren- make a deal with Lea’s team a year ago and this tour is the pay off. I don’t understand what world she lives in that everything is a pay off. It’s funny that in CCdelusionville Ricky, Mia, Ryan, Fox, Michael, Lea...every single person has rights and legal authority except Darren. The one man who literally is the business, the man who has hired all of those people- except Ryan and Fox- is the only person in the relationships that has no legal authority or rights.

At this point the CCers are just making crap up, regardless of how little sense it makes. They are just like Trump...they just started talking and whatever comes out they considered the truth. It doesn’t matter that is makes literally no sense, or how many times they have been corrected, or that doesn’t hold up to scrutiny, they just keep talking.

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becesswonderwall · 4 years

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youtube

I have watched this when I was very little. When I don’t understand really the impact of the movie, but in my early age I’m already fascinated watching theatrical music or opera songs in a movie maybe because of Disney princesses/cartoons influence, or what I was taught in my primary school which even their muslim students or pupils are mandated to participate. I had experienced to perform as an angel with gold wings in that school😅 I remember, and it was awkward experience...coz you’ve gotta imagine I’m the only one wearing gold wings in my team coz of my mom, she didnt pay attention of the requirements in detail (she maybe thought any kind of wings will do, but actually not). (I was like hearing my christian classmates “basta muslim kay dili kasabot og instruction”😂) But my Mom was so proud of me wearing that gold wings, it cost her quite pricey to prepared it daw kasi, and why not, ayaw ko daw ng ganun ako lang kakaiba😅 kasi mganda tlga ung gold wings na yun. And I remember, I already look tall kid kaya nagiging kapansin pansin ang flares ng wings ko. (And people while watching... kana si princess, muslim mana sila, ni daug mana siya sa princess and prince of st. Cecelia basin mao na siya gleader, kay gold ang iya.😂 Basin dili. Basin wala ta nainform pwd man di ay gold wings) we performed as angels of baby jesus in Christmas eve😅😇

And of course, Lea Salonga’s influence performing in broadway. I remember nasa HEKASI namin siya. Kaya ganun nlng siguro na influenced ako. Their dresses or costumes, how they act and mused. Kaya pinapanood ko pa din. What is, I was just a kid and wanted to be like Princesses in Disneys which now I don’t wanna be a Princess in Disneys anymore! I want to be a Princess in Jannahtullah! At pinapanood ko pa din tlga even my confidence went 60% to zero sometimes, started when I met awesome, more confident— with 80 to 100% confidence (whether they’re wrong or not, the word optimism!) more athletic, talented, cool and more wits classmates, after transferring to public schools. And after they’ve made fun of me wearing shorts and mini skirts on my first day or week of sch. From then on, I’ve changed.

Back to the movie, what I understand here is how Islam and true Christianity (or true believers of jesus as prophet or messiah of God/Allah by virtue of the book of Gospel or injil that revealed to Jesus) have similar in treating humankind or humanity except the Trinity thou. But the significance of this story should be told (as for me is that) God-fearing people will always be soft-hearted, kind and always spark some light, shows some mercy and give hope to others. Teach or preach what is good. Treat people all the same in integrity and equity just like Nabi Muhammad Rasulullah (saw) ‘s virtues in Islam❤️✨ Never would they claim anything in this world as solely theirs but whatever their blessings they may have from Allah, are also for others or are always meant to be shared— for our brothers and sisters in our religion for the love and sake of Allah. As prophet Muhammad (saw) said: “None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.” It’s being a good steward for Allah’s glory, bounty and goodness sake.

Being just even in making and applying the laws in all aspects as possible. To be more considerate than punishing. Always give the benefit of doubt. In a Latin quote says “It’s better to free hundred guilty persons than to punish an innocent one!”

#Youtube

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movebytaemin · 6 years

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i wrote this some time last week. its very long and i usually have to work through my feelings by writing them down. so i send these to my miss lea or my mom but i wanna be able to go back to it. you can read it if you want. i want to enter the new year fresh and with everything i promised him i’d do in mind. i love all of you. stay safe and happy new year!!!

since i was a kid death has surrounded me. by this age i have been numbed to the pain. it has been a pattern of me finding out someone close is gone and not reacting to it really for the sake of being a rock to the rest of my family and friends. i'd shed some tears at the funeral and that would be it. but i have found myself crying uncontrollably from the moment i saw the news. day and night i would, in taemins terms, be like a faucet. turns out i care about them more than i do most of my family and friends. in shock and disbelief. the finality of death has only once in my life hit me as hard as this. that one thankfully turned out to be a false alarm. and this time it was my biggest fears coming true. ever since i got attached to these fellas i had a fear in the back of my mind. i've just somehow known it would be 27. i never wanted to voice that cause i didn't by any means want to manifest it. but i've seen him give parts of himself to everyone around him and i was afraid there would be none left for his own self. i just always knew. and i've dreaded the moment he would hit that number. with every birthday i was so happy we all made it through another phenomenal year full of great music, amazing performances and hilarious moments. but there was that little reminder in the back of my mind that that just means i have less time with the man that's bringing me joy every single day. and then it happened. he turned 27 and...i felt relief. i was on my toes for a little bit but then it seemed like he was truly getting better. i've watched him get torn apart for 3 years. looking more tired and run down by the day. falling into a pit of struggle with both his mental and physical health. and then came the year i was most scared of and...he seemed better. he was finally doing things to make himself happy. he talked about his struggles in a way that felt more therapeutic than a call for help. he stopped seeking validation from the people around him and he was, for the first time with that big heart of his, choosing himself over others. i finally saw the sparkle in his eye that was slowly extinguishing come to light again. and i felt at ease. maybe that gut feeling i had was wrong for the first time in my life. maybe i misinterpreted it. and it just meant it would be a significant age. an age of change for the better and not worse, as i initially thought. seeing what happened felt like a ton of bricks hit me square in the chest. i couldn't believe it. he was finally better. it can't be. he was supposed to make it. he was supposed to finally dig himself out. find the happiness he always yearned for. the reality still hasn't fully hit me. the finality of it certainly hasn't.

as young as i truly remember myself and the feelings i had, they were there. pulling me out of my own pits. uplifting me. carrying me through every hardship i've had. which have been plenty in the past 5 years especially. it truly feels like we grew up together. i've seen them grow from a little bunch of big eyed, talented boys into not only the exceptional and captivating performers that they are but also into kind, thoughtful and loving men. and i've seen myself grow into a person i'm proud to be, not single handedly, but greatly influenced by their example. there has not been a day where i regretted having them in my life. even through the tough times and the fuck ups, the way they handled themselves would make me proud. knowing that wherever they went and whomever they met, no one was able to conceal how good they made them feel. countless people gushing about how amazing they are. the amount of respect they accumulated not only for how great they are at what they do but also how humble and kind they are to the people that helped them do it. and amongst them i'm sure we're all aware that jjongie was an especially kind soul, full of understanding and unconditional love. i can't even begin to explain how much they've all influenced me. but i will talk about him. so many of my days have been bettered, so many of my hardships eased by his voice and presence. his voice - the vocal range like almost no other, the beauty of his tone, the softness of his speaking, the way he decided to use it to help the marginalized, uplift those who needed it and always ready to say a kind, comforting word. his presence - from making sure people around him felt appreciated and at ease to the snappy, quick wit that always brought the house down. feeling the maximum of every emotion. crying from sadness, happiness, anger, frustration, laughter...and making all of that okay. he's always the one that made it better for me. easier to cope. hearing and watching him made everything bearable. his words and songs is what always got me through it. and now that i'm going through one of the hardest moments in my life, once again he's the one that's pulling me through it. giving me strength to face the world with the gifts he gave all of us before he went away. the words of kibum and jinki help a lot as well. knowing that the wonderful men you spent your life with still care so deeply about you and our well being is comforting. and for all of them, that as they are coming to terms with it themselves, they still want to make sure everyone else is okay. that selflessness. i have to say...very you of them. but please, my darling angel, make sure they take care of themselves as well as they do others.

after everything was said and done and as we're approaching my favorite day of the year, i will take time to heal. and focus on all the beauty you brought to this often ugly world. i will continue trying to make this world a kinder and more loving place. and i will help as many as i can reach, as you have always done and i'm sure will keep doing.

i've called you my angel for years. and now you truly are one. i love you, my darling. i forever will. i love you and you did so well you've made me proud for an eternity. i hope you found the comfort and happiness you provided for many. rest well angelface 🌹♥️ 수고했어요 종현이.....사랑해!

#i love you #both mr moon and the rest of you

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arpeggxo · 7 years

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I’ve been having so many feels thinking about Myde and his different ships lately. Each ‘version’ of him is slightly different and I just love how it gives different dynamics to his different ships.

Take Myde and Ienzo, he’s just completely and utterly in love with that boy. It’s something he never expected to happen, but now it has he just can’t imagine anything different. Loving Ienzo is something that just comes so easy and naturally to him that he just never even pauses to question or second guess himself. They’ve both done some pretty terrible things, but Ienzo knows everything so loving him is safe, he doesn’t have to be scared of Ienzo finding out about his past and everything imploding. Likewise, they’re both kind of broken in their own ways, but they’re so good for each other. I don’t think Myde would ever have been so well adjusted to life, all things considered, if it hadn’t been for having Ienzo around through it all. It was as though Ienzo was one stable thing he could cling to, even if forgiving him for his part in Myde losing his heart came with its own set of lessons to be learnt.

Then I compare that to Myde and Aoba and that Myde is so just naive and innocent. He’s good but he’s got himself mixed up in some not so good settings with some not so good people. Myde never really intended to be caught up in Rib and he doesn’t know what he’s doing and at times is forced to do things he isn’t okay with, all because when it comes down to it he’s scared of the people running his team. He knows if he gets on their wrong side he’s in trouble, but Aoba is like an escape from that. For now at least, he doesn’t know anything about the mess Myde’s got himself in so he doesn’t have to think about all that when he’s with him. Being with Aoba is just fun and exciting in ways he’s never really experienced before and he likes just being able to relax around him, to poke fun at him and just feel normal.

This one is pretty much unestablished still, but I just love the potential dynamics behind Myde and Lea as well. Axel is one of the very few people I can imagine Demyx being close to as a nobody. As a general rule with me Demyx either doesn’t like or just doesn’t care about those in the Organization, but Axel is one of four or five exceptions to that rule, so Myde would just be so happy and comfortable around Lea. Myde’s a mess right now, but I feel as though with Lea he’s be able to just forget about everything that’s going on and have fun, even just for a while. Then, when they need it, they both know exactly what the other went through between losing their hearts, working for an organisation they came to not really trust, everything around dying and coming back to life again (now with hearts again). All that has got to mess with you somewhere along the line and I feel like that level of understanding would be so significant to them.

These are just the main ones I’ve been thinking about recently, but basically I just love Myde and his ships. I just find it so fun and interesting to see how fundamentally he’s the same and a lot of the dynamics are so similar, but when it comes to actually writing them out they change so much.

Basically, you wanna ship with Myde? Come at me! I am so down for all kinds of shippy fun sad times. I live for this stuff right now.

#ooc #Headcanon #-ish?#Ship thoughts?#Idk what to tag this as.#I just have FEELS okay?!

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totalflux · 6 years

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The trucks pull up when the sky is a deep blue. Men unpack boxes of fruit, vegetables, meats, spices and groceries. Sleepy waitresses unstack chairs and roll up the café shutters. Middle aged men slowly begin to gather here, order their Vietnamese iced coffees and smoke their illegal cigarettes as their eyes hunt for the occasional youthful glute. Scratch that, any female glute will suffice for them. The bread shops never close. Restaurants begin to open and Asian mother’s start their shopping.

Andy punches me and I almost fall off the edge of the multilevel car park on John Street. The icy sensation on my arm brings me back to focus on her penetrating eyes. A kind of Zen gaze that demands your attention. Like Buddha. My mind cuts from the future and into the crispy autumn air and busy streets. She hands me her cigarette.

“Hey. I have a weird question for you” she says.

Andy always has weird questions for me.

“Do you feel pressured into bringing your cultural heritage into writing?” she asks.

I take a moment to consider this, bringing the burning stick to my lips and suck. As a rule, I only smoke when I drink. At least this is what I tell myself. Its spark sinks closer to me as its toxic life enters my mouth and into my lungs. I grimace but try not to show it.

“You know what, I’ve never considered it. I’ve always felt that I was pretty Australian.” I say, coughing and trying not to throw up.

“You don’t feel pretty Asian?” she probes.

“I do. But I feel so disconnected. Most of the family is in Vietnam and I’m here. I can hardly talk to my mom.”

Again, my mind is vacuumed through space and time. My mother is in the kitchen, pouring yellow batter over bean sprouts, pork and prawns on a hot pan. The smell of Vietnamese pancakes crackle through the house, morphing with the rising and falling intonations of her singing. The sun pokes its rays through the windows and pours light onto the wooden floors. I’m going out I say, half in Vietnamese, half in English. Like I’ve hit a nerve, she shoots her routine inquiry. Where are you going? Who with? When will you be home? I just made breakfast, what a waste. I have become immune to this torrent fire. I’ll be home soon I say. I still feel bad, though.

“Tough.” Andy says.

“Yup.” is all I can say.

I hand her the cigarette and we continue to watch the scene below. It’s occupants scurry about like ants, collecting resources, busying away at their life work. They’re saying things, giving opinions, feeling important.

I never thought about the significance the west had with who I am until I met Andy. Like me, she is a second-generation Asian immigrant, except she grew up in Epping, near the city. She was astounded by the way things were down here in the area. She’d never seen so many yellow people in one spot. The first time I took her to Cabramatta her eyes lit up like a child in a playground, amused by the most humdrum things. Such a tourist, I teased. I took her to the Red Lea and bubble tea shops where students carried the iconic duo in plastic bags into the library to ‘study’. I took her to the only good sugar cane joint and the Little Saigon gate where children and the elderly feed the ruthless Cabramatta pigeons. I took her to the pub where my best friend, Charlie, manages and gives us free beers and the occasional bump.

“Dude, where has this been all my life?” she says.

“You know. Just chilling.” I remark.

I’m not going to lie. It was kind of nice to experience it again through her. It’d become almost invisible until I saw it’s light in her eyes and the excitement in her step.

When we finish the cigarette we hop off the ledge and catch the next train to Newtown.

We didn’t understand what it meant to be orthodox. All we knew was doing dumb shit and having fun. We stumbled through this inverted decorum chasing a feeling we weren’t even sure of, getting high off whatever we could get our hands on. It wasn’t beautiful; it was a bit sad, a gradual fading, like becoming just another dot in the city’s undignified impressionist painting of the perpetually intertwined forces of sense and nonsense.

Our parents did not escape war torn insecurity on dilapidated boats into the land of opportunity and prosperity for this.

#words

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dunkcarlton · 6 years

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Environmental Lawyer in Salt Lake City

Research is indicating more and more everyday that the harmful effects of putrid and toxic air can extend further into our health than thoughts in years prior. As these discoveries have been made our nation has implemented several laws to ensure that the effects that may occur from hazardous products does not affect the innocent air breathed by many, especially children. Josh Freeman, an attorney in Salt Lake City says that environmental laws are some of the most revamped laws in recent years, as further study reveals more about how our bodies react to bad air.

Due to the mountains and dry air, many assume that Salt Lake City is an ideal place for health, but that isn’t true. Salt Lake City has for some time now, been on the top ten lists of the most polluted cities in American, due to many factors, but mainly the inversion that is created within and throughout the Happy Valley. The U.S. Environment Protection Agency has geared up in light of recent research to penalize and further punish companies that do not adhere to the certain codes and restrictions put into place for cleaner air. Once, again, Salt Lake City is no exception. Chevron, is one of the largest refineries in Salt Lake City and vastly lucrative, however recent findings indicate that they violated several parts of the Clean Air Act. They recently settled the matter with close to $400,000. On the one hand, this may indicate a rougher year for Chevron, but a better one for local residents. According to studies, women are far more likely to have autistic children if they are exposed to polluted air while pregnant. Men and women alike have been known to develop lung problems, crippling asthma and possibly cancer, depending on the carcinogens in the air. Any lawyer in Utah can tell you that environmental law and business development law are coinciding now more than ever.

Salt Lake City is working tirelessly towards a cleaner environment with the help of local officials and many are welcoming the slight bump on the city’s economy as a necessary evil. Now that these new rules are set into place, new business owners and builders have a unique opportunity to make Salt Lake City a new and improved part of Utah and the country.

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As marijuana business industry grows, Utah business attorneys warn would-be entreprenuers

Recently Reporter Jonathan Fahey gained attention from newspapers and online news sources around the country for his in-depth piece about marijuana business where he analyzed multiple perspectives – including that of entrepreneurs, consumers, and investors – and discussed the wacky world of making a profit of weed. Fahey drew attention to the fact that the dubious legal status of weed in some states, and its varying legal status in others, makes a successful business model somewhat difficult to implement. Utah business attorneys watching the climate of their own state agree, but will they be ready to handle the task at hand? Or will it fall to opportunistic consultants with little legal background who happen to be in the right place at the right time?

Part of the problem is that “it’s a gray market industry,” and the nation “hasn’t decided whether marijuana is a dangerous illegal drug or not much worse than tobacco or alcohol.” Federal law still classifies it as an illegal narcotic on par with heroin, while 23 states have legalized it for medical use, and two regulate and tax it for the general adult public. Even Utah, one of the most meticulously conservative states, allows that some studies have shown enough benefit of forms of cannabis for the substance to be legally used as an ointment for patients with seizure disorders—as long as they procure it from outside the state, a Utah business attorney would be wise to remind us.

But for individuals taking individual risks, some of the legal implications are less complicated than those of the entrepreneurs and investors getting their hands dirty with weedy opportunities. For starters, the majority of banks won’t loan prospective business owners any money. It’s not legal, federally, and banks aren’t keen on violating anti-trafficking laws by sullying themselves by association with legal pot sellers. Entrepreneurs have to be not only crafty and tenacious, but wealthy too. Enough so to deal in cash or form partnerships with those who have it—which has made some unlikely alliances for pot startups, a Utah business attorney would know.

Investor money is just “sloshing around” right now, Fahey says. People are eager to get in on the weed business early, but a major issue is that because of the cash-based system and lack of transparency and clear regulation, opportunistic companies often surface and take the cash of investors without “a long-term business plan that coldly assess the market and the risks.” Most are in it for a quick buck, and few companies offer “legitimate opportunities” for investors.

Unlicensed, unexperienced consultants pose another hazard to the marijuana industry, a Utah business attorney should warn potential entrepreneurs in the Beehive State waiting for the substance to be legalized at home. “Some act as matchmakers, promising to connect investors with entrepreneurs… others sell help navigating the licensing process, tips on how best to grow marijuana, or advice about how to manage a startup that must operate outside the banking system,” Fahey says in the AP article. Which means having someone one your side who knows the law and is experienced in the intricacies of business legalities. Because it’s probably coming to Utah, though it may be coming slowly.

Free Initial Consultation with a Utah Lawyer

It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. Legal problems come to everyone. Whether it’s your son who gets in a car wreck, your uncle who loses his job and needs to file for bankruptcy, your sister’s brother who’s getting divorced, or a grandparent that passes away without a will -all of us have legal issues and questions that arise. So when you have a law question, call Ascent Law for your free consultation (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite CWest Jordan, Utah 84088 United StatesTelephone: (801) 676-5506

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