#no he smells like shit. like literal shit.
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Remembering dream I had where I met two trans guy artists living in a cool city and they invited me over for like a month, and they were very like established and had my dream jobs (one was a mechanic the other was a park ranger working at a center for like environmental shit so they could advanced in their career beyond just patrolling a park like two hours outside the city). they invited me into their polycule and I was really hesitant bc I’ve never really wanted to be poly but I was so enamored by the opportunities that I accepted without much hesitation despite not knowing them like, at all. And both were workaholics so I never saw them and just lived at their apartment and for while it was great bc I could focus on writing and had a part time job at a diner, but then they kept bringing home the most random fucking people to join the polycule. Like a 69 year old, very beautiful but jaded opera singer, a disgraced CFO for an Enron like company, some beatnik wannabe who worked at a gas station, a mother of three who clearly had no interest in any of us, literally like just people on the street, and every time they did a new room generated within the ever growing apartment that was themed around that person. So some of them were really cool and beautiful like Memphis 80s minimalist styled, some were straight out of an arts and crafts Californian home, there were some that were kinda gross and packed with shit and smelled weird, and I kept exploring all of them getting progressively more and more lost and panicking bc I was gonna be late for work, until I finally found what I instinctively knew was called ‘the pound room’ where they kept an incomprehensible amount of Oscar Meyer baloney packages and like PAGES upon pages of the exact same two ocs in *barely* different positions, going at it like animals, almost as if each drawing were meant to be a painstakingly hand drawn frame of an animation. And when I found this room and was going through the drawings, the dream suddenly felt like that scene where Wendy finds Jack’s ‘all work and no play’ pages on the typewriter. And I got goosebumps and suddenly smelled all the baloney, bc it wasn’t refrigerated, and turned around to see that someone was in the doorway. It was the two original trans dudes who had fused into one larger trans guy who looked like a combo of both of them, and the second I recognized that he slammed the door shut and locked it, and I knew I was trapped and gonna die there.
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"You're safe now, I'm here." - Soldier Boy x Reader - Prompt Response
Summary: Soldier Boy has been on a ton of dangerous missions in his time, fought a lot of battles, but never did he imagine he would be undertaking the one you had just tasked him with. Shit.
A/N: This is a prompt from @sydnee-kom-spacekru. A sort of sequel to the prompt response for "Sleep. I'll keep you safe." Been working on this since January 3rd. I had way too much fun with this one.
Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers out there, all of the fur baby mamas, and all those who celebrate!
@deans-spinster-witch this is what popped into my head when you said "dangerous mission" lol. Once it was in there, I couldn't get it out. I hope it's decent and that you like it.
Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.
Warnings: Soldier Boy being himself; some misogyny; some homophobic language; some antiquated thinking (SB); angst; a lot of mentions of shit (yes, literal shit); language (I guess?); some smut; mention of breeding kink; a bit of a lactation kink (I know they did the Coke and milk thing in the show but you can't tell me he wouldn't have at least been on the verge of this kink if the opportunity arose)
Word Count: 11k+
SB Taglist: @deans-spinster-witch; @birdiellie; @heartlessdelusions; @nancymcl; @brightlilith; @muhahaha303; @just-levyy
“You’re safe now, I’m here.”
Ben let out an aggravated sigh for what felt like the fortieth time and turned back to the table, his nose wrinkled. He glanced down and saw his daughter’s wide eyes watching him as she kicked her little legs, slobbering all over the fingers of one hand she had in her mouth. He made a face and shook his head, remembering when he told her “You’re lucky you’re cute, kid”, when she’d done the same thing about an hour before. He didn’t know what was so tasty about those fingers especially when there were other tastier options available.
Speaking of which, you just had to pick the fucking perfect time to do your pumping shit so he would be stuck doing this shit, in the literal sense of the word. Ben thought he’d been on dangerous missions before but nothing ever made him want to retreat in the other direction more than the one he was about to embark on. The smell wafted up to him once more as the baby kicked her legs again.
“Christ, this kid fucking stinks.”
“Language!”
He rolled his eyes and glanced back over his shoulder, though he couldn’t see you. “It’s not like she understands what the fuck I’m saying!”
“Ben! We talked about this!”
“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, turning back to his little girl. “No cursing around the baby,” he mocked you in a high voice, smirking when a small smile formed on her face.
Another wave hit him and he held a hand up to his nose. “Are you almost done in there?” He complained.
“No! I still have a little more to go.” He knew that; he could hear the machine still making its weird noises almost as if it was next to his ear. He hated and loved that thing. Hated it because it was so damn loud to his ears and it ruined a perfectly sexy image in his head when he first saw you doing it. Loved it because it was helping your body do one of the natural things it was designed to do and it also allowed him to get some one on one time with you out of the house for the occasional few hours if you could get Elena or Queen Lesbo to babysit. As a matter of fact, as harsh as the sounds were and how unsexy it was, it got him downright hard sometimes when he thought of either scenario because both brought it all back to sex for him. Either he was daydreaming about fucking another baby into you while watching you or he was thinking about how he was going to be fucking you later that evening when the two of you were alone. This time, though, it was going to be neither.
You were getting ready to go out to have lunch with Elena, have some girl time or some shit. Whatever the fuck that meant. It certainly wasn’t what he’d been thinking the first time you mentioned it, which to him was a complete fucking wasted opportunity. He wasn’t into Elena at all or The One-Eyed Bitch Queen but he was definitely into seeing you get off. Just as long as it wasn’t another guy, he was good with it. But instead, his hopes had been dashed when your expression of disgust transformed into you pinching the bridge of your nose and explaining what girl time for you actually meant. His annoyance grew (and his nerves skyrocketed though he would never tell you that) when you mentioned he would be the one babysitting this time. He wasn’t happy but neither were you and when it came down to it, you were the victor of that argument.
And now he had this shit on top of it, pun very much fucking intended. Needless to say, Ben was beyond done at this point.
“Just change the diaper already,” you urged, your tone strained with the last threads of patience. “The longer she stays in her own mess, the more likely she is to get a rash and possible infection. Then she will be in pain and she’ll have to see the doctor. We don’t want that to happen. I’ve told you this time and time again and I’ve shown you how to do it. No more excuses, Ben. Just change it.”
Ben could feel his ire rising. “So you want me to do what you should be doing? I’m not the goddamn woman here!” He regretted it as soon as he said it. He heard you turn the machine off and he knew he was in for it now.
“What did you just say?” He heard you ask menacingly from the other room. Oh fuck. He knew he had about ten seconds to turn this around or the rest of the day and night were going to be shit. Worse than the actual shit he was smelling. He’d be lucky if he’d be able to sit next to you at the table later at dinner, never mind touch you again for the next few days.
“Nothing,” he grumbled, pulling a new diaper from the open package next to him and glancing down at the squirming baby in front of him. He was relieved when he heard the machine start up again and leaned over the table to lay down the law to his daughter. “Alright, look, kid, we gotta make some sort of deal here. You can’t be shitting up a storm and stinking up the place while your mother is out. Piss I can deal with. Puke, bad but doable. Shit…no fucking way.” He began to unbutton her onesie, screwing up his face in disgust as the smell slapped him in the face. “So if you really care about your old man and you want him to be happy, you’ll stop shitting all over the goddamn place. Got it?”
The baby gurgled back at him and he saw more drool coming out of her little mouth.
Ben shook his head, giving her a sharp look. The least she could do was not look so happy about him having to do this for her. He gently pulled her legs out of the onesie as you’d shown him how to do (he ripped one too many the first week she was home) and he frowned when he saw a damp brown stain, the smell becoming even worse. He lifted her legs and as he’d suspected, the shit was fucking everywhere, having catapulted past the edge of the diaper and down her back. He briefly shut his eyes and looked away, groaning loudly, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” He attempted to take a breath that didn’t smell like he was wading around in the worst shit someone ever took. Like he was that little bastard Termite and he’d shot too far off the mark.
“Now what?” You yelled back.
“She shit everywhere! It’s all up and down her back.” He looked back down at his daughter. “Really?” Another gurgle. “Christ.”
“Yeah, because she’s been sitting in a full diaper for the last thirty minutes while you’ve been non-stop complaining about it, that’s why! Just get her cleaned up and into a new diaper, some new clothes, and then put her in her bouncy chair so you can clean the table. Or if you’re feeling adventurous, give her a bath. A bath is probably better.”
“Why don’t you come in here and fucking handle it then? I’ve told you, my sense of smell is about ten times what yours is!”
You huffed out an aggravated breath. “Because you have to learn how to take care of her, Ben! You’re her father for God’s sake. You should be able to handle one damn diaper change without being a child about it! What if I wasn’t here anymore? You’d be the one doing it all then.”
He straightened up at that, glaring back in your direction. “What do you mean if you weren’t here? Where the fuck would you go?”
“Language, Ben! Jesus!”
His jaw clenched and he turned back to grab a fresh wipe or five. He bunched them up in his hand and lifted the baby’s legs and began to wipe. There was so much shit, the wipes were filled instantly and it got onto his hand. “Fucking hell!” His daughter’s smile faded and she began to look as if she were about to cry.
“What now?” You snapped.
“It’s all over my goddamn hand, that’s what!” He bellowed.
“Well, wipe it off, get her cleaned up, then wash your hands.” There was no compassion in your tone, only irritation.
Ben should have shut the fuck up right then and there, and just done what you’d tasked him with. But, he was fucking done and livid at your obvious lack of sympathy. “This isn’t my fucking job! It’s yours! You should be doing this! Real men don’t change their kid’s shitty diaper! Women do!”
The machine shut off again but this time, Ben didn’t give a fuck. He’d had it. He knew you’d be pissed at what he’d just said but too fucking bad. It was true, whether you liked it or not. No matter what today’s society had to say or not. Women were the caregivers, the nurturers or whatever the fuck he’d heard on that bald-headed doctor’s show the other day, the givers of life or some shit. Real men did their job in making the kid, being the father, and putting food on the table for his family while also providing a roof over their heads. That’s how it always worked and that’s how it should still be today. He’d done his job: he’d protected you, knocked you up with his kid, and stuck around to be its father, even after finding out it wasn’t going to be the son he’d initially hoped for. And here you were, trying to get him to fucking play Mr. Mom so you could go out for a few hours and get some girl time that wasn’t even going to reap any benefits for him after you’d left the kid with him all afternoon? No fucking way. His jaw tightened as he heard you approaching quickly. He didn’t care how pissed you were; he wasn’t backing down.
But just then, the baby began to cry, having been scared by him yelling angrily (and probably because she was wet and uncomfortable and had been for some time now). He glanced down at her, his jaw unclenching and his features softening slightly. Fuck no. Ben could withstand a lot of shit (minus actual shit), and not a lot affected him, but his daughter’s cries? And because of him? That was his kryptonite. “No, no, no. Don’t cry, Princess. Daddy’s sorry he yelled, okay? He didn’t mean to scare you,” he quietly soothed. He went to pick her up to hold her, forgetting that she had shit all over her, and he only realized it when it dripped all down the front of his shirt and his hands and arms were covered with it as he balanced her against his chest. “Ahhh shit!” The baby began to cry louder.
You appeared, the top of your dress fixed and buttoned, a furious expression on your face. You held out your hands. “You’re safe now, I’m here,” you spat. “Give her to me.”
Ben glared down at you. He had been spoiling for a fight a moment ago but after the baby started to cry, some of the fury went out of him, and apparently right into you it looked like. “Listen, don’t get all pissy because—”
“I said,” you snapped. “Give her to me.”
Ben shot you a look but did as you said. He watched as you got shit all over you but you didn’t even flinch. Instead, you snatched the fresh diaper from the table and unfolded it to place behind your daughter’s poop chute before grabbing the canister of fresh wipes and a towel. You didn’t even look at him as you passed by him to head into the bathroom. Fuck, he was definitely in trouble.
He grimaced down at his messy shirt and removed it, balling it up and throwing it into the baby’s laundry basket. He made his way to the open door of the bathroom, stepping in to wash his hands and forearms at the sink as he watched you in the mirror, sitting on the edge of the tub and filling it with water, the baby’s own tub inside it. You were cooing at your daughter who wasn’t crying anymore but letting out little whines that threatened to extend back into a crying jag if need be. The baby was unhappy and from the looks of it, so were you.
He dried his hands as you began to use the fresh wipes to clean your daughter. “There we go, Ellie,” you murmured. “We’re going to get you all nice and clean, okay?”
Hearing your soft-toned reassurances to the baby, Ben figured now might be as good a time as any to try to start melting away some of your anger with him. He cleared his throat. “If you want, you don’t have to use that thing. I can get in the tub with her. I have to clean up anyway.” He gestured to his bare chest but you didn’t even look up.
“I think you’ve done quite enough today, thank you,” you answered, your tone full of ice. Yeah, he was in fucking trouble. Fuck.
“Don’t be like that. I’ve told you, my sense of smell is ten times more powerful than yours. I tried and it just didn’t work out.” He crossed his arms, his jaw tight. Why would you be fucking pissed at him? He tried his best. He got shit all over for him as a result for Christ’s sake. And he only spoke the truth.
“And what the fuck do you think this is? Chocolate? Paint?” You gestured to the shitty fresh wipes sitting in the diaper and to your ruined dress. That wasn’t what stopped him short; you never cursed in front of your daughter.
You continued to carefully clean the baby in your lap. “I told you when I found out I was pregnant that I would do it myself. You could take off and go do whatever you wanted to do after you held up your end of the deal. You could go get high, get drunk, fuck a ton of women, play at being a superhero — whatever. But no, you said you wanted to stay. Insisted on it, actually. I told you then.” You threw another freshwipe into the diaper and grabbed a clean one. “If you stay, if you really want this, then you need to be all in. Do you remember that?”
“What the fuck are you talking about? I am all in.”
“You call this all in?” You gestured towards the messy baby who had her hands in her mouth, watching her mother, tears still dotting her eyes.
Ben started to feel uncomfortable, something almost like shame itching at his skin, and he didn’t care for it. He dropped his gaze to the ground. “So I didn’t change one shitty diaper. You don’t need to make a big fucking deal over it.”
“Ben,” you seethed. “Look at me.”
He reluctantly glanced up at you, still annoyed.
“She’s your daughter and she can’t do these things for herself right now. Sometimes it’s going to be messy and sometimes it’s going to smell so bad you gag. And yeah, sometimes it’s going to make you uncomfortable, but you push through all of that because you’re her father and you love her no matter what. Because you want to take care of her, to make sure she is healthy and happy every single day. She’s our responsibility for the rest of our lives. It’s no longer about you, me, or anyone else. It’s about her. Just her. That’s it.”
He unclenched his jaw, hearing the seriousness of what you were saying, the truth he didn’t want to think about underlying your very words. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his daughter, he did, but why were you so insistent on giving him the dirty work? You knew how he felt about doing this type of shit. Not to mention, it felt like you were trying to shame him for not wanting to change one fucking diaper, like you were implying that he wasn’t a good father if he didn’t waltz into the nursery, smiling and eager to do it. He was a good father and a damn good provider. If it wasn’t for him, you wouldn’t even have this place to call home. He was the one who sacrificed and played nice with the old bitch and Butcher. Hell, If it wasn’t for him, neither of you would even be here right now!
Ben hated himself when he had that thought. What the fuck was wrong with him? But since he didn’t want to look at that too closely, instead he turned it back on you.
“I don’t need you lecturing me on how to be a father. I am a good father, goddammit! Hell, I’m a better father than my old man ever was. I provide for her and you every single day. I gave up everything to protect you, be with you, and be there to take care of my kid. Which is a lot fucking more than some of the other dames I’ve knocked up over the years can say. I put my life on the line for you both! And this is the thanks I get? Because I didn’t change one shitty fucking diaper?” He scoffed. “You are one ungrateful bitch.”
Your eyes widened slightly and Ben regretted his words the moment they flew out of his mouth. He hadn’t meant to say those things, not to you.
Your eyes dropped to your daughter in your lap who was staring back up at you. You nodded and after a moment, you scowled up at him. “Well, since we’re such a burden and keeping you from your great life…don’t let the door hit you on your misogynistic and spoiled ass on the way out.” He could see your eyes shimmering but he could also see the absolute fury and ice daggers you were shooting him with, too. He knew then just how badly he had fucked up.
“Y/N, I—”
“I mean it. Get your shit and leave. I’ll do this alone just like I planned to all along anyway. There you go, you’re free. No more nagging from this ungrateful bitch, no more having to act like you give a shit about either of us, no more being weighed down. You’re free to go and get fucked up and drink all you want, Soldier Boy. Go knock up some more dames and then leave them to raise those kids all on their own, too. You know, like a real man does.” If your glare could kill alone, Ben would be six feet under right now, the one thing that could end him that the Ivans never found out about.
You placed your daughter in her little tub and stormed over to him, shoving him out the door. You couldn’t really move him but he was so caught off guard at your outburst, your words, that he moved where you pushed him. “And best of all, no more shitty fucking diapers!” You slammed the bathroom door in his face and locked the door, knowing it wouldn’t keep him out if he wanted in, but the message was clear. You were done and you were willing to go it alone; you didn’t need him and you had enough of his bullshit. He’d not only heard it in your voice, your words, but he’d also seen it in your eyes. That hurt way more than he ever thought it would.
He stood there staring at the door, stunned. His daughter began to cry and he heard you soothe her with “Shhh, it’s okay, sweetness. Mommy’s here. We’re going to get you all cleaned up and feeling better in no time. Don’t you worry, Ellie.” You began to coo to her as you bathed her and before long, she was making happy noises again. You’d even made her laugh once.
Ben stood there, not feeling right about what just happened or that his family was on the other side of the door. He could break it down if he wanted to, you both knew that, but he wouldn’t. Nor would he break the lock to get in. He knew he had let his irritation get the best of him and he’d said some things that he couldn’t take back, no matter how he might try to apologize now. Why the fuck had he said those things, anyway?
He loved the life you had now (minus the shitty diapers obviously) and the family you’d started to build. Hell, he loved you, something he hadn’t ever really felt before for a woman other than his mother. He thought he’d felt it once with Crimson Countess but he’d been wrong. What he thought he felt for her paled in comparison to what he actually felt for you. Not just for having his kid but also for loving him and not the suit. Yes, you’d gone to him for protection and yes, he’d done his best to take advantage of that fact, but something genuine formed between the two of you. Before long, he wasn’t just protecting you to hold up his end of the deal, he was also protecting you because he couldn’t bear to lose you. He was over a century old and he had never come across someone like you before, someone who actually saw worth in him as something more than a quick lay or a celebrity or a supe. Someone who worried for him when he left your sight or took on one of your would-be assailants. Someone who actually wanted to build a life with him — with him, not Soldier Boy.
So why the fuck had he said those things? He knew why. You had made him feel ashamed that he hadn’t gotten the job done, that he hadn’t completed the one mission you’d given him and you hadn’t even left the house yet. You’d had to come in and rescue him, do the task instead, and you hadn’t balked or even thought twice about it.
You were softly singing to Ellie and he could hear a couple of breaks in your voice, betraying how upset you really were though you were trying to hide it for your daughter’s sake.
Ben hung his head in shame when he heard you get choked up and stop for a moment, sniffling, before you started back up again. He threw on a fresh shirt and got to work cleaning the shit from the changing pad and this time, he didn’t complain.
Ben watched as you carried the baby into the room, still not looking at him. You saw that the table was clean and moved over to place your daughter on it, grabbing the clean onesie he’d set aside and began to dress her. “You’re still here?” You bit out though he could detect a hint of genuine surprise there, too.
“Still here,” he murmured, hoping you would hear how sorry he was without him having to say it.
You finished buttoning up the onesie and popped the pacifier into Ellie’s mouth that he’d left out for you. “Think you can manage to watch her while I take a ten minute shower?”
“Since when do you take ten minute showers?” He’d meant it as a teasing question, to try to lighten the mood a little, but you turned a glare onto him, beginning to unbutton the top of your dress.
“Forget it. I’ll put her in her bouncy seat and bring her in with me. You can go.” You went to pick up the baby when he held his hands out.
“I can watch her. Go take your shower.”
He could see the clear distrust in your eyes but you handed him your daughter nonetheless but not before you kissed her head. “Mommy will be right back, Ellie,” you whispered, stroking her back. You glanced up at him, unsure, but then turned to make your way to the bathroom, continuing to undo the fastenings on your dress. He let out a huge sigh when he heard the door snick closed and the shower start up.
“Daddy’s in big trouble, Princess,” he murmured to Ellie. She gazed up at him, going to town on her pacifier, her brows drawing together slightly from the effort. He smiled and dropped a kiss down on her little forehead. “That’s one thing you have in common with your old man. We love the nipples.” He chuckled under his breath, imagining just how hard you would roll your eyes and swat at his shoulder if you heard that. But instead, he heard a much more heartbreaking sound from you. You were crying…in the shower. Fuck.
At that moment, he heard a car slowing down and pulling into the driveway. One glance out the window confirmed it was Elena. In the midst of all this, he’d forgotten you had plans for the day. Just then, he got an idea and hurried towards the front door. He had just reached it by the time Elena was about to push the doorbell. He whipped it open, making her jump in surprise. After she saw it was Ben with the baby in tow, she recovered quickly. “Oh, hey Ben. Is Y/N ready yet? Hi, Ellie.” She gave a tiny wave to your daughter, smiling.
“Uh, not yet. She’s in the shower. Hey, can you watch Ellie for a few? I’ve got something I need to do and I can’t take her with me.”
Elena seemed uncertain for a moment, studying him as if she were wondering what he was about to do, but then relented with a shrug. “Sure.” He opened the door wider for her to come in and once she had put her coat and purse on a chair, he handed Ellie over to her.
“Thanks. Be right back, Princess.” He stroked the back of the baby’s head with his fingers before hurrying out of the room, intent on doing whatever he had to in order to make things right.
Ben quietly slipped into the bathroom, undressed, and snuck into the shower behind you. You had stopped crying after the doorbell sounded so you most likely knew Elena was here and waiting. You were rubbing suds-covered hands all over the front of your body.
While you cleaned your front, Ben’s eyes roamed over your back. He was already predictably hard, just seeing you naked. You had the perfect ass and even though you still had some baby weight that you were trying to lose, in his eyes, you were fucking gorgeous. You had mournfully admitted a couple of weeks ago that your stomach was soft and you were embarrassed by the visible stretch marks and your wider hips, not to mention the few pounds sticking around. Your breasts were bigger (something he didn’t see as a problem), the areolas darker than ever before, and you were feeling a bit insecure about your new shape. He loved the new you, which he made sure to tell you over and over as he fucked you that night. You were the mother of his kid, you’d given birth to her, nourished her from your body, and you could give him even more. It endlessly fascinated him that his seed had taken root in you and a healthy child grew from it, one that was half you and half him. He’d literally fucked a baby into you and every time he saw you like this, he wanted to do it again (though you’d told him your body needed at least a year or two to recuperate before you could even entertain the idea of another pregnancy). You looked so fucking gorgeous carrying his kid and now, you were even more beautiful if that was possible. It was pure beauty that he saw when you breastfed his daughter, when you smiled down at her, talked to her, and rocked her to sleep. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t want you, on your back (or your hands and knees, he wasn’t picky), taking load after load from him until he knocked you up once more.
So he had been dumbfounded and almost incredulous when you nervously admitted all of this to him, implying that maybe he didn’t find you attractive anymore and maybe he’d prefer a flat-stomached, tighter, younger, free-to-bang-all-day woman instead. That or some old lady. He’d fucked that notion right out of your head.
But now as he stepped toward you, not only was he incredibly turned on by you and how beautiful he still thought you were, but he also realized right then, just like he had many times before this moment, you were the only one he wanted. He wrapped his arms around you and pressed a kiss to your wet shoulder.
You let out a small gasp in surprise. “Where’s Ellie?”
“Elena’s got her.”
“Well, I’m not doing anything with you in this shower so you might as well get out,” you snapped and attempted to wriggle out of his embrace. When you couldn’t, you huffed out an aggravated breath and went back to rubbing soap over your skin.
He nosed your wet hair out of the way to get closer to your ear. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I never should’ve said that shit.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” you muttered, gliding soap down your arms.
“I love you,” he murmured to the skin of your neck before dropping a kiss. “I love my little princess.” Another kiss. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Really? Because it sounds like you want to be somewhere else.”
“No, I don’t,” he assured. “I told you when I knocked you up. You two are it for me.”
You slowed down your movements and he took the opportunity to hug you a little tighter, burying his nose underneath your jaw. “I mean it, doll. This is right where I want to be.” He slowly ground his erection into the small of your back to also illustrate his point. He meant every fucking word; with you, around you, in you — there was no other place he’d rather be.
You attempted to turn around in his arms and he loosened his grip so you could. He nearly let out a soft groan at the feel of your soap-slicked skin sliding against his dick. You stared up into his eyes and the smirk that formed on his face was beyond dirty, thinking you two were about to get to the fun part, your argument a thing of the past when you cupped his bearded cheeks in your suds-covered hands.
“Ben,” you whispered. “I need to know that if something happens to me…that you’ve got this with Ellie.”
Ben’s grin morphed into a frown and his brows furrowed. “What the fuck are you talking about? What do you mean if something happens to you?”
Your eyes began to glisten and his heart dropped inside his chest. What the fuck hadn’t you told him?
“Did some cocksucker threaten you?” He growled menacingly, the rage he worked so hard to tamp down for yours and Ellie’s sakes was attempting to breach the surface at the thought of someone even thinking about hurting you. Mallory had said you’d be safe here; had the old bitch lied?
You shook your head and that only helped to quell the fire burning deep within slightly. A light appeared on your face and you glanced down as it got brighter, eyes wide in fear. “Your chest is glowing. Ben, stop! You need to calm down.”
He took deep breaths as he’d learned to do, telling himself that you were here in his arms, right now, and you were safe. You were not in any danger. Hearing the sounds of his daughter a few rooms away helped him to get this fucking thing inside of him under control. He hated it, hated what the Reds had done to him, but it was now forever a part of him. He would do whatever it took to keep you both safe, even from this goddamn weapon inside his chest.
When you met his eyes again, there was no more light, no more glow lighting up your face from below. You lifted yourself up on your toes and brushed your lips against his. “Thank you,” you whispered.
Ben nodded and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you up against him. He nuzzled you, feeling much calmer than he had a few moments before, but he still saw the same worry in your gaze that he’d seen before his inner nuke started to fire up. “Talk to me,” he implored.
You pressed your lips together and briefly looked away and he knew you didn’t really want to say what you were about to. It made him incredibly nervous. While you two had argued before and you’d told him to go when he was being an ass…what if what you meant was that you wanted out of this? Fear immediately took hold of him — fear of losing you, fear of losing Ellie, and all because he’d been a stupid fuck who couldn’t keep his mouth shut. You both were the two best things that had ever happened to him since being injected with Compound V. He didn’t want to go back to before. He only wanted now and the two of you. Hell, he wanted to keep creating a family with you, the family he’d always desired but never had. What had seemed within his grasp just hours ago now seemed to be getting further and further away.
That thought had him speaking — no, downright begging. Soldier Boy begging…only for you. “Look, I know I’ve been a dick and I said some really fucked up shit earlier but I didn’t—”
You gently placed your fingers against his lips, effectively stopping him. You stared up at him sadly and that fear kicked into high gear. Fuck, he was losing you. And all because he hadn’t been able to keep his goddamn mouth shut or change one fucking dirty diaper. He’d fucking failed and now he was going to lose you and that dream he wanted to realize with you all in one swoop. All because he really was America’s Asshole.
But when you finally spoke, you said the last thing he expected. “I spent months running from Vought’s death squads before I found you. Even with you protecting me, even after I got pregnant, I was still in danger because they wanted me dead.” Your voice broke on the last word, betraying the tears that were imminent, along with the shimmering in your eyes getting worse.
His brows drew together in concern but he gently grasped your chin, making sure that you not only continued looking at him but that you heard every word he was about to say. “But you’re safe now,” he murmured. “Vought’s gone, Edgar and Homelander are dead…I would never let anything happen to you.”
Tears began to roll down your cheeks. “I know, but I keep thinking what if something goes wrong? What if one of the supes out there finds us? What if they get wind that I’m still alive? What if the surviving board members decide that I’m still a liability?”
He shook his head, moving his thumb up to stroke your cheek reassuringly. “No one survived. I made sure of it.” He placed his forehead down onto yours. “I promised I’d keep you safe, you both safe, and I did.” Ben tenderly rubbed his nose along yours. “Still do.”
He was slightly relieved that you weren’t thinking of leaving him but also unhappy that you had still been worrying about this all of this time and he hadn’t had a clue. He was going to do whatever it took to reassure you, to remind you that you were safe and that you no longer needed to worry about any of those pricks that you’d had to run from before. He still remembered the nightmares you’d had, the jumps and startles in the middle of the night at the slightest sound. Eventually, it prompted him to hold you when you went to bed, promising to keep you safe so you could get some sleep while he kept watch. You would finally relax in his arms and close your eyes, content to listen to his strong heartbeat underneath your ear, knowing you were indeed protected.
Sure, you’d kept your end of the deal and let him fuck you once you’d gotten some rest from running nonstop, but instead of getting bored like he usually did after hitting the same pussy a couple of different times, he’d actually started to like you. So he’d kept you close while he turned the hunt around to make Onehander, Edgar, and all of those assholes the prey instead. When he found out you were carrying his kid, he decided he’d do whatever it took to make you both safe and even ended up teaming up with the Brit and his team again, though he still didn’t trust them. Hell, he’d even made a deal with them to settle in this area and get you this house when you’d told him you wanted a home for your child to grow safely up in, to put down roots. He’d put up with your nearby neighbors, with having to see the One-Eyed-WonderBitch again, and shifting from the Supe life to suburban life (which was not an easy transition for him by any means). He did it all for you…for you and Ellie and the family you had chosen to have with him.
So to see now that after everything, you still didn’t feel completely safe, well…that bothered him. What kind of man had he been for you to keep feeling scared that Vought might come back at any moment to haunt you? He’d never given you details of the day that he’d annihilated them all for you because he knew you didn’t want them, but maybe he should have. If he had, maybe that would’ve helped to allay your fears of any possible reprisals.
“I know you do,” you broke into his thoughts. “But…what if something else happens? What if I get sick or get hit by a car or I have an accident and fall or I have a medical emergency that could be fatal or—”
“Hey,” he interrupted your rambling. “You’re spiraling.” Something you’d done quite a bit when you first met. His heart sunk at the thought; this had gotten to that point and he hadn’t had one goddamn clue. He’d been so wrapped up in you and Ellie and the life you were building that he hadn’t even seen it. Maybe his father had been right; he was a fuck up. An assertion by the old man that you’d unknowingly been dismantling every single day with how much you loved and believed in Ben, but now…now he felt as if he didn’t deserve you. He watched more tears spill down your cheeks and he knew he definitely didn’t; here was the proof.
“I know,” you sobbed. “I’m sorry. I just…” You took in a ragged breath and looked into his eyes, your bottom lip starting to wobble. “I need to know that if something happens to me, that you’ll take care of Ellie the way she needs to be taken care of. If I’m gone, she’s going to need you and I need to know that she’ll be okay.”
He tried his best not to be insulted, not to show it for your sake so he wouldn’t upset you anymore than you already were, but it stung his ego a bit. “Of course, she would be okay. I’ve kept her safe this long, haven’t I?”
“I’m not just talking about safety, Ben. I’m talking about you actually taking care of her. Not just providing for her, but actually being there for her whenever she needs you. Like the diaper change I asked you to do today. Is it disgusting? Sure. No one likes dealing with it, smelling shit, getting it all over you…but she’s your daughter and she needed you to take care of it for her. What if I had gone for breakfast with Elena instead? Would she have sat in her own crap until I came back home because you feel as a man that it’s beneath you to change your own daughter’s diaper?” More tears appeared. “What if something had happened to me while I was out? Would you just push Ellie onto Elena and Maggie to take care of her so you could go back to your old life? All so you wouldn’t have to do any of the messy or hard stuff? Would you abandon her just like that?”
“Of course not,” he snapped, his consideration for you now forgotten in the face of what you’d said. “How the fuck could you even think I would do something like that? Haven’t I been here through everything like I fucking said I would be?”
“Yes, but I’ve been doing everything!” The words burst out of you. “At first, you didn’t want to feed her, burp her, bathe her — any of it! And I did it all! Why? Because that was supposed to be the woman’s job you’d said!”
Ben could feel his temper flaring at you bringing that up. You were also intimating that he didn’t do anything for your daughter. Were you blind to all of the effort he had put in to help you raise Ellie since that fight you’d had a couple of weeks after she’d been born? Didn’t you realize that most mornings you woke up well rested was because he’d gotten up with the baby in the middle of the night so you wouldn’t have to? And you were still holding that shit over his head? What the fuck was wrong with you? “That was the way it was back then,” he growled out. “I told you that! And I’ve been doing all of that shit you just mentioned since then! So I didn’t change one shitty diaper today! I said I was sorry! When are you going to fucking let it go?”
Instead of responding, you exploded into more sobs and shame churned in his gut. He really fucking hated seeing either of his girls cry. It made him want to beat the ever loving shit out of some son of a bitch. Even if he happened to be said son of a bitch sometimes.
“Christ,” he muttered. “C’mere.” He pulled you to him and you held onto him tightly, crying into his neck. His hand slid down your back in a tender caress and he pressed his lips to your hair. “I’m sorry,” he whispered to you.
He kept you in his arms, hoisted you up so you could wrap your legs around his waist, and let you get it all out. He even shut the water off, knowing the temperature had vastly cooled in the amount of time he’d been in there with you so far. He vaguely recalled his plan from earlier to join you, apologize for what he’d said during your argument, and begin making up with you. That obviously had gone to shit; there would be no making up happening now, that was for sure. And if anything would get his dick to go soft with you naked against him, it was the sound of you crying.
Once your sobs quieted down and turned into ragged inhales and a few sniffles here and there, he moved your hair out of the way so he could see you. “Better?”
You nodded, sniffling as you looked up at him. “Yeah.”
“Okay, let’s get you out of this tub then and get you dried off.” He placed a kiss on your forehead and went to open the shower curtain.
“Ben?”
He froze and turned to look at you.
You lifted your head, letting out another sniffle. “I’m sorry, too.” Before he could say anything, you continued. “I know you’ve been trying and you’ve been doing everything I asked you to with Ellie. I just…I freaked out about the diaper thing.” You wiped at your face. “Because it just brought back that worry, that fear I have of what would happen to her if I wasn’t here.” Your voice wobbled slightly but you forged ahead anyway. “You know, I wasn’t scared like this when I was being hunted down. I mean, I was, but not like this. Back then, I only had myself to worry about. And then when I got pregnant, sure, I was a little more scared but I also knew you’d keep us safe.” You took another ragged breath in. “But ever since she’s been born, I have been absolutely terrified. That something might happen to her, to me…to her if something does happen to me. I’m so fucking scared, Ben.” Your voice broke then, prompting fresh tears to roll down your cheeks.
Ben had been insulted before, almost as if you hadn’t believed in him or his ability to keep either of you safe, but now as he listened to your heartfelt explanation, he realized it wasn’t really about any of that. It didn’t really have anything to do with him, except that you wanted him to be ready to care for your daughter if something ever happened to you. That unpleasant tug inside his gut happened once more when you finally confessed just how scared you were. He thought back over the last few months since Ellie had been born. Your push for him to be more involved; your fighting with him over his antiquated mindset as you’d called it over his ideas of what fatherhood entailed; your rushing him during your sexual escapades the few times he’d managed to get you away from the house while Elena watched the baby no matter how much it pissed him off that he couldn’t take his time with you like he wanted; your insistence that he watch Ellie while you go to lunch with your friend; your anger today at his refusal to deal with the shitty diaper situation — all of it suddenly clicked into place for him and made sense. Fuck, he didn’t think it was possible for him to feel any worse. He had completely failed you on all fronts. He had been the blind one; he’d never seen what was going on with you when it was right in front of him this whole time. Christ on a cross.
He gripped your chin gently. “Look at me.” You reluctantly met his gaze, yours glistening with fresh tears, and he could see the fear there plain as day. Fuck, how had he missed it all of this time? But instead of focusing on that, he sought to reassure you. “You and Ellie are safe. Nothing is going to happen. I would never let anyone hurt you. Either of you. I love you both too fucking much.” He grazed the pad of his thumb over your cheek to catch a stray tear that had escaped at his words. “And if it’s something that’s going to make you feel better, then let’s sit down and make a plan in case anything were to happen to you. Or even if I bit it. I want both of my girls to be taken care of, even if I can’t be here to do it myself.” You gave him a tearful smile. “So, let’s do that and kick this fear in its fucking ass. Sound good, doll?”
You nodded and leaned in, kissing him and making him smile. He’d been able to make you feel better after all and he felt damn proud of himself for being able to do so. “I love you,” you whispered.
He fucking loved hearing those three words from you every single time you said them; he knew you fucking meant it. And so did he. “I love you, too, baby.” When you beamed at him, another tugging sensation happened in his chest but this time, it was a far more pleasant one. He pecked your lips and opened the curtain. “Alright, let’s get you out of here.”
Before he could take a step out of the tub, you reached up and yanked the curtain closed, making his brows furrow. Your smile suddenly transformed into a devilish smirk. Immediately, he could feel his dick hardening again. He knew what that smirk meant. “We didn’t make up yet,” you murmured, starting to rub your body against his. “And we always make up after we fight.”
Ben felt the stiff peaks of your nipples gliding across his skin and his mouth practically watered at the thought of sucking on them while he rammed into you repeatedly. Fuck, he loved your tits. There had been a time after Ellie was born where you’d pushed his head away anytime he tried to get his mouth on them while he was fucking you, complaining that they were too sensitive due to all of the feedings. But recently, he’d been able to start that up again without causing you discomfort and once, he had even gotten a tiny amount of milk squirted into his mouth by accident. It had been surprising for him, embarrassing for you, but it had turned out to be a major turn on. He found he didn’t mind the taste and the idea of him drinking you down, you shooting something into his mouth for once and him needing to be the one to swallow, that made him hornier than he’d ever been in his life. He’d fucked a lot of women in his time, sometimes high, sometimes sober; he’d done things that made most people blush to hear about or uncomfortable to imagine, some things which you flat out refused to do. He’d founded Herogasm and had marathon fucks that were legendary. He’d hosted orgies where he would be the only one left standing, having never tired out and still raring to go when everyone else was down for the count. And yet, when you’d unintentionally squirted the smallest bit of milk into his mouth, his dick had gotten so hard, he was shocked it hadn’t exploded right there. Well…it did, but not the way he’d originally been thinking. He’d greedily swallowed you down and kept sucking, even through the first load of cum he’d shot into you in reaction to that fucking hot as hell moment. From that point on, while he knew your breastmilk was Ellie’s main food source and he loved that, his daughter had to learn to fucking share.
That was another reason why he had such a love/hate relationship with the breast pump machine you had. When he would watch the milk fill the bottle, he didn’t know whether to cry, jerk off, fuck you, or just watch. Sometimes he even wished you’d get rid of the contraption and just let him help you; it could be a rewarding experience for you both while you made sure Ellie had plenty to eat.
Your smirk grew, almost as if you knew where his thoughts had gone, and you ghosted your lips over his. “Ben,” you called to him in a teasing singsong voice. “I said, we always make up after fighting.”
He could feel something wet moving against his abdomen as you attempted to roll your hips, knowing it had nothing to do with your recent shower, and he ground out, “Yeah, we fucking do” before he slammed his mouth against yours in a bruising kiss that was all tongue and teeth. He turned around and carefully pushed you up against the tiled wall, making sure not to break it or you. It wasn’t long before he was inside you, his hips pushing into you at a steady pace, his mouth suckling at you and your fingers in his hair, tugging roughly, as you muffled your moans with your other hand. Neither of you had forgotten that Elena was within earshot; Ben just didn’t give a fuck. He snatched your hand away from your mouth, gruffed out a command of “Let me fucking hear you”, and he didn’t give two shits who heard the fucking hot soundtrack of your making up. Instead, as you cried out your pleasure for the world to hear, he went back to your incredible rack, focusing on filling up on you while he worked towards filling you up. The thought of any fear or resentment from your earlier argument was long gone as you both chased your highs at lightning speed. The only words said between you were dirty or full of love. And even when you both had been forced to take a mostly cold shower afterwards to clean up once you both had caught your breath, only smiles, tender touches, and kisses had been exchanged along with a few laughs, both of you completely sated. Well, you were; Ben would never get enough of you and he planned to try to fuck you again later after the baby had fallen asleep.
But as for right now, seeing the bright smile on your face as he carefully wrapped a towel around you, the weight visibly lighter on your shoulders since you confessed your fears to him, he was determined to do whatever it took to not only make you feel safe but also to keep you feeling this way and being this happy.
When you’d laughed at something he’d said, darted forward to kiss him, and wrapped your arms around his neck, his embrace tightened around you and he kissed the juncture in between your neck and shoulder, making you that silent promise. Whatever it took to make you feel safe again, he’d do it.
Elena glanced up to see you and Ben stepping into the living room, both dressed and looking refreshed. You had been missing in action for at least an hour and forty-five minutes. Elena already had an idea what you two had been doing considering everything she’d heard. Maggie had even heard when she called to check in and see when Elena would be returning home, beyond disgusted at the sounds Soldier Boy was making as he railed you in the shower. She’d told Elena to call her when she was done babysitting so the archaic asshole could get laid and promptly hung up. But even if Elena hadn’t heard what you’d been up to, she would have immediately known after seeing you both. Ben’s hair was still damp and yours was freshly blown out. Both of you were touching, unable to keep your hands off of each other and sporting matching grins, looking like practical newlyweds. Ben’s hand moved to the small of your back and both of you suddenly smiled wide upon seeing your daughter.
“Thank you for watching her and for waiting.” Your cheeks turned a shade of pink but you held out your arms. Elena was only too happy to hand you your baby back. “There she is,” you cooed, pressing a loud kiss to Ellie’s cheek. “Were you a good girl for your Aunt Elena?”
“She was a very good girl,” Elena confirmed, watching as Ben strode over and stopped next to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you against him, his eyes centered on both of his girls with an affectionate smile to match. Sometimes Maggie still had trouble believing it, that Soldier Boy had been domesticated as she put it, but Elena never doubted how important you and Ellie were to him. She could see it every time he looked at you, at your little girl, and she actually thought it was beyond sweet. She had even said as much to which Maggie had rolled her eyes, muttered “Whatever, I’m going to vomit”, and walked away from the door while Elena waited to greet the three of you after she had extended a dinner invitation to your family one night. As expected Ben and Maggie didn’t get along too well, especially given their history, but the former seemed to be okay with Elena and she was okay with him because she knew how much he meant to you. And Maggie didn’t seem to mind you all that much, either. So you all somehow made the nearby neighbor thing work; for yours, Elena’s, and Ellie’s sakes if for nothing else.
“She did get a little fussy, though, so I fed her one of the bottles you had in the fridge.”
You nodded and pressed a kiss to the baby’s forehead, briefly glancing at the clock on the mantle. “It’s about that time. Thank you so much for doing that. I’m sorry that we missed lunch.” You blushed once more when Ben let out a quiet chuckle.
“No problem,” Elena dismissed with a smile and a wave of her hand. “I’m glad everything seems to be okay. Ben looked a little worried when I got here.”
You glanced up at him, your brows arching in surprise. Ben shrugged, seeming unbothered at this observation.
“We can maybe shoot for next week if you’re game,” Elena offered.
You went to answer when Ben cut you off. “Actually, why don’t you guys still go and grab a late lunch or something? Elena’s already here and you both are dressed to the nines.”
Your eyes widened when you looked over at your husband, worry lining your expression for a moment. “No, that’s—it’s too late. By the time we’d get home, it would probably be dinner time.” You let out a nervous sounding laugh. “Besides, Ellie’s going to need to feed before then and I—”
“You pumped earlier, right? I can feed her.”
You seemed unsure, biting your lip. “I did, but I’m not sure—”
Ben released you and held out his hands, smiling reassuringly at you. “It’s settled. You go. Ellie and I have got this. Don’t we, Princess?” The baby had her fingers in her mouth, drooling everywhere. Elena saw Ben shake his head, seeming amused.
You glanced down at your daughter, the happiness from before replaced by uncertainty. Elena knew you struggled to leave Ellie the first few times she’d babysat for you both to have some time to yourselves. It wasn’t surprising; you were a new mother after all. But this time, you seemed even more reluctant than usual.
“Hey,” Ben softly called to you, prompting you to meet his gaze. “Remember what we talked about. We’re going to be fine. I’ve got her.”
It was moments like this that convinced Elena of your importance to him. If Maggie ever witnessed them, she was sure her girlfriend would reluctantly agree. Never had Elena ever heard him speak that gently to anyone, even his own daughter. Not when she and Maggie were in earshot anyway.
Ben gave you a meaningful look and after glancing down at Ellie one more time, you eventually handed your daughter over to her father. “There’s my girl.” He leaned down to kiss the baby’s forehead.
You watched, anxiety still apparent in your expression.“Ben, are you su—”
He immediately darted forward to kiss you, cutting you off. Elena had the grace to look away and give you two a moment.
“We’ll be fine,” she heard Ben murmur to you. “I’ve got this. I promise, baby. Go have your girl time and then come home. We’ll be here when you get back.”
“You’re absolutely sure?” You checked one last time.
“Of course I fucking am.”
“Language,” you chided.
Elena glanced over and found Ben smirking down at you, leaning closer. “You didn’t seem to mind my language earlier.” As expected, your cheeks reddened and he barked out a laugh, kissing one of them. “Alright, go have fun and we’ll see you later.” Then he leaned in to whisper something to you that couldn’t be heard and your jaw dropped, gently swatting at his hip since he was holding Ellie in both arms. He laughed and moved away, his gaze a little darker than before as it stayed fixed on you.
You kissed Ellie’s head and stroked her cheek, smiling. “I’ll see you soon, sweetheart. Be good for your daddy, okay? I love you.” Ellie gurgled and you smiled wider, leaning up to kiss Ben goodbye who immediately deepened it.
Elena was on the verge of looking away again when you pulled back, panting, and glared up at the smirking man in front of you. “You know, for someone who’s trying to get me to leave, you’re doing a miserable job.”
“Just giving you a little preview for later.” The stare between you two was so intense that it felt as if any unfortunate bystanders would suddenly burst into flames just from being too close. This time, Elena was the one nearly blushing. She would have never believed you two had just been having sex if she hadn’t heard it for herself. You both looked hungry and not for any late lunch.
You leaned in, as if to kiss him again, when you reached up and planted a kiss on his brow instead, smirking as you backed away. “Until then, Benjamin,” you snarked, turning to leave. “Love you.” You let out a yelp a moment later when Ben swatted your ass with a free hand as you passed.
You shot another glare at him and he simply smirked. “Love you, too, doll.”
Elena gently pulled you towards the door, thinking if she didn’t get you out of the house soon, you definitely weren’t going to leave at all. Or more like Soldier Boy wasn’t going to let you leave. Not with the way his eyes were unashamedly glued to your ass.
You waved one last time in your family’s direction. “Bye, Ellie. See you soon, babygirl.”
Ben picked up Ellie’s little hand and simulated a wave, making you smile.
Once Elena had you in the car and backed out of your driveway, she could see the earlier uncertainty returning. “So, what’s going on? First, Ben looked worried and now you. Something I should know about?”
You bit your lip and seemed to be mulling over whether to tell her or not. Elena gave you a moment to yourself to decide. Eventually you turned to look at her and sighed. “Okay.” You then proceeded to fill Elena in on everything you’d been feeling since your daughter had been born, everything you’d just told Ben.
Ben watched as you and Elena got into the car and left. He knew you would be worried but he was determined not to give you any reason to be. He meant it when he told you he had this. He wanted you to know that he could look after Ellie the way she needed looking after, which is why he insisted that you still go out to eat with Elena. He was going to make damn sure he passed this test and he was keeping his promise to you, that he would make you feel safe again. And if that meant he had to play Mr. Mom and change a few shitty diapers while you were gone, then so be it.
Once the car disappeared, he let out a sigh and turned to look down at his daughter. She was staring up at him with those beautiful eyes that reminded him so often of his mother’s, though absent of any of the heartbreak she had endured in her life with his father. That was why when you asked about possible names for your daughter after you’d given birth, he’d mentioned Eleanor to bestow upon her. You’d loved it, especially after Ben had explained the significance of the name to you, and so your daughter was named after her grandmother, though you both had ended up calling her Ellie for short most of the time.
He gave his little girl a smile. “We’ve got the place to ourselves, kiddo. We can do whatever we want. What does my princess want to do, hmm?”
Ellie gurgled and he nodded as if he understood.
“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. Let your old man show you his movies so you can see when he was a star. Good thinking, babygirl.” He chuckled when she gurgled again and turned to head into the living room.
Just then, he heard the sounds he had been hoping like hell that he wouldn’t hear until you were back. Ellie began to grunt, a few short farts sounded, and an almost undetectable thud was heard as shit landed in her diaper. Sure enough, a moment later, the smell wafted up and smacked him in the face. The smell was beyond terrible, something you had told him previously couldn’t be the case since it was known that the poop of breastfed babies didn’t smell as bad as other poop. He’d looked at you then with disbelief; how the hell did you not smell it when you were wiping the kid’s ass? Then again, thanks to his super-powered nose, you wouldn’t detect what he would. Like right now. It was fucking awful, like sour milk mixed with shit. Christ.
“Ugh.” He extended his arms and held Ellie out, away from him. He should’ve known this would fucking happen. It was just his luck. “You know, kid, for such a small thing, you sure shit a lot.” Ellie continued to make happy noises as if she hadn’t just taken a massive shit that was rapidly stinking up the room. Ben pulled her closer, his face screwed up in disgust as the smell got closer, too. “You are way too happy for someone who just shit their pants for the second time today.”
He glanced around, almost as if you would somehow come flying around the corner to help, or Queen Lesbo might show up out of the blue or something. Nope, this was all on him. He remembered your words from earlier, how he needed to know how to care for Ellie which included shitty diaper changes, and he let out a huge defeated sigh. “Fuck.”
Ben cradled Ellie in the crook of his arm, relieved there were no damp spots on her back this time, and turned to make his way to her nursery. “You know something, kid, if the day should ever come that I’m in diapers, you better fucking change ‘em without any complaints. I don’t want to hear a damn word out of you then, got it?”
Ellie made more happy noises and he rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” A small smile slipped onto his face and he lifted her up to his shoulder, kissing her cheek. “You’re lucky Daddy loves you, Princess.”
Almost as if she’d understood his words, she gave him a wide toothless smile, drooling onto his shirt. Instead of being disgusted, he chuckled and continued his trek. She’d unknowingly just given him a perfect excuse to change when you got home and entice you to get another shower in later. Thinking along that same line, feeling proud that this was now something he could do for you and for his daughter, something that would help you to feel better overall…well, he found now that he didn’t mind the idea of any shitty diaper changes all that much.
A/N: Please let me know what you think. 😊
dividers by @firefly-graphics
#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy x female reader#soldier boy x you#soldier boy x y/n#soldier boy#soldier boy fanfiction#the boys fanfiction#the boys fandom#prompt response
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Colby brock argument ending in hate / make up sex
Warnings: SMUT 18+, strong language, mentions of alcohol, arguing, Colby is slightly drunk, reader and Colby are slightly toxic together, unprotected car sex, rough actions, choking, oral (m rec), hair pulling, biting, scratching, dirty and cute pet names, general filth - enjoy 🖤
Word count: 3.1k | not really edited
⤺ based around ⤼
You tried telling yourself that Colby was just going to friendzone you yet again.
Trying to make yourself feel better about the situation you are currently running from - you fooled yourself into thinking you and Colby could settle into a real relationship, basically.
You were at a party, kind of drunk and all you wanted was him.
He looked so good. Smelled so good. You were so excited to find him later, just like he told you to do.
But when the time came around to where you were finally looking for him, that excitement went away quicker than shit when you seen his lips were connected to a dark haired brunette’s.
You were fuming, more towards yourself because you knew how Colby was. You’ve known him long enough now, but you just couldn’t help it.
You left without speaking to him.
A • W E E K • L A T E R
The first two days, Colby was on you about seeing you, wanting to talk to you, blah, blah, blah…
As much as you just wanted to talk to him, you just couldn’t go through the heartbreak. You’ve kept your feelings down for a while now, continued to just fuck through them, but now.. they’re just too much.
So you go for plan b.
Ghosting.
But that all goes to shit when your phone goes off at almost two thirty in the morning. You roll over, lifting it from the bed, squinting at the sudden brightness.
Colby hasn’t texted you in two days, which kind of made you sad, but at the same time, you knew it was for the best, so you weren’t really surprised when you seen it was him that texted you, are you up?
You stare at the text on your lock screen for a few minutes before legging out a sigh, ..no.
You lay your phone back down, stretching as you sit up. You grab your phone and walk over to the bathroom.
As you sit down, you hear your phone vibrate against the counter and you reach over to grab it, I need a ride home.
You sigh, closing your eyes as you pinch the bridge of your nose, “Colby.” You whisper lowly as you shake your head. You look back down at your phone, Are you drunk?
You dreaded asking that question, mainly because Colby likes to be all up on you when he has alcohol in his system - one of the reasons to why you need to cut him our because if he can’t be your boyfriend, then why do boyfriend things with him?
You hated that you wanted to see him, you had the option to right there.
You look down at your phone and smirk little at Colby’s text, ..no.
You laugh slightly, “Fuck.” You sigh as you check his location, You’re at the RailYard Bar, right?
Within a second, Yes mamas, that’s correct.
You looked away from your phone, Colby knew that you absolutely loved when he called you that. He doesn’t do it often, which is what makes it so, special.
Says I’ll be there in ten. I’m not taking anyone else home. Just you. You stand up, finishing up before you go and get changed - just leggings and a hoodie, nothing special.
You grabbed your greys and walked out.
You were nervous. This last week has been hell for you because you absolutely love Colby, with your whole being, and he just can’t seem to see that.
Each time you’ve managed to master hiding your feelings, Colby would break out a new move or saying or just something to make you fall deeper in love with him and all you can think is, for fucks sake, here we go again.
You wanted to hate him, but then you remember just how well he knows your body and just how good he makes you feel.
How he makes you laugh and how he’s just literally always there when you need a pick me up fuck.
He’s just so perfect to you and you just wish he saw you the same.
——
Your heart skips a beat when you seen him walk towards your car. You sat up more, pressing the unlock button right before he grabs the handle to open the door.
“Well, look who it is.” He says as he gets in, “Little Miss likes to ghost her friend? What is that?”
“Oh.. we’re getting right into that, aren’t we?” You stifle back a laugh and start driving. Colby nods, “Yeah, so take the back way. We need to talk.”
“We do.” You agree with the slight nod of your head.
“I just-“ Colby shakes his head, “What changed?”
“What do you m-“
“Don- don’t do that.” Colby laughs slightly, letting out a sigh, “Do you remember that night at the party?”
I think of you so often it hurts, Colby, is what you really want to say, but you just grip the wheel harder, slowing down as you come to a sharper turn, “I remember a lot.”
“That sounds like.. it has another meaning behind it, something more than just how good your memory is so..”
You feel your cheek start to heat, why did I fucking do this, you curse yourself mentally, why fucking put myself through this?
“Y/n.”
“What.” Your voice is barely there, but Colby still hears you, “What the fuck is going on with you?”
There it is.
“I tell you, what? A week ago?” He continues, “That I wanted to talk to you about us and then within a few hours later you ghost me for a fucking week?”
“Can you actually blame me for being scared though?” You scoff, “I mean, I tell you about my feelings one time and we push past it, bury it behind us because you didn’t want anything more than sex.. and even though that fucking hurts, I still fucking did it.”
“No one is forcing you.” Colby argues back, “Fuck, y/n. I don’t-“ he shakes his head, “If all I was doing was making you unhappy.. I- why fucking stay around me then? Like I don’t..”
“Because I’d do anything for you.” You blurt out, word vomit taking over, “Because I never really knew if I was more afraid to see you again or to never see you again.”
He stays silent, eyes on you as he waits for you to continue speaking, he knows you have more to say.
“It just.. at this point.. I know that you’re shitty and you’re bad for me.. but I just.. can’t stop thinking about it.”
“What does all of that even mean?” Colby scoffs, “I’m shitty and bad for you, and yet, you can’t stop thinking about.. what? What the fuck did I do? You’re the one leaving me in the fucking dark.”
You finally snap, “Why are you getting mad at me!?” You glance over at him and back to the road, “The girl. The fucking girl at the party, Colby.”
He shakes his head, eyes still on you as he thinks, and right when you’re about to huff, he nods, “Oohh, are you talking about Alexa?”
“If that was the same girl you kissed when you knew I was going to be looking for you.. then yes.”
You were no stranger to giving Colby attitude, but the atmosphere shifted.
You wanted him.
You wanted to claim him.
A minute or two goes by and you stop the car.
Colby looks at you confused, “The fuck are you doing?”
You look over at him, “you want to talk, we’re talking.”
“I don-“
“The first time I ever told you I had developed feelings, you basically told me just to give that shit a rest.” You start, “So I pushed them down, just kept reminding myself that we’re fuck buddies, nothing more, I mean, you seem to have made that pretty clear and to be honest.”
You clear your throat and look over at him, “Seeing your lips pressed to another woman’s, honestly, I think hurt less than that what you’re we need to stop or we’re just friends speech would have.”
He scoffs slightly, shaking his head as he laughs, “You really don’t know what you’re talking ab-“
“Fucking hell, Colby. I saw you. With my own two eyes. Your hands on her waist. Her hands on your neck. Your lips on hers.” You yell, your voice growing higher, “Fuck.”
“That meant nothing, okay.” Colby shakes his head as he looks out the window.
You scoff, “that meant nothing?” You press your lips together and frown, “so then.. why tell me to find you later wh-“
“Because I was fucking ending things with her to fucking b-“ he takes a deep breath, “How would you feel if I told you I loved you?”
You feel your heart stop and your head snaps towards him, “What?”
He rolls his eyes, shaking his head slightly, “You heard me, y/n.”
You narrow your eyes slightly, taking a few seconds before speaking in a quiet, unsure tone, “I-I don’t..”
“Yes you do. Because the answer is why you keep staying. Putting yourself through wanting to hate me and.. wanting to love me.”
You chew the inside of your cheek, nails scratching over the fabric of your sweatpants clad thigh, really unsure of what to say.
“You said you wanted love. I only wanted sex.” Colby breaks the silence, “I didn’t really want anything serious, like we worked out as just friends that have sex occasionally.. or six times a day but, who’s counting?”
He chuckles and you shake your head with a slight smile.
“But then, you told me you developed feelings and yes, I kind of disregarded them, but I did it because I didn’t want to hurt you but-“
“You did.”
“And yet..” Colby stares at you and you look over at him, “I stayed.”
You and Colby hold your stare, tension growing faster and thicker as each second passes.
He reaches up, caressing your cheek, “She wanted a goodbye kiss, I figured, what the hell, the end of something old, going to start something new right?”
He shakes his head, eyes looking into yours, “You have showed up right when I leaned in because as soon as my lips were on hers, they were off. It felt like I was cheating, and for a few minutes I couldn’t figure out why..”
This thumb brushes over your skin, “Until I realized that the love of my life, has already been in my life for years and I’ve just been, too fucking stupid to realize it.”
You reach up, laying a hand on his, “It’s okay. We’re all a little stupid sometimes.”
“You’re so pretty..” He whispers quietly, “Pretty eyes..” his hand slides down to caress your jaw, his thumb sliding across your lips, “..pretty lips..”
You feel the heat growing between your legs.
You reach down, unbuckling your seatbelt, “I need your hands on me.” You lean up and he unbuckles his seatbelt, holding his hands out to welcome you into his lap.
Thankfully, you kept Colby in mind when you bought this car.
You straddle his lap, hands moving to press against his chest as you lean in, lips finding his.
His hands grip your hips, sliding down to grab onto your ass. You grind down against him, whimpering out as you feel his jeans press against your clothes cunt.
“Fuck.” Colby groans lowly, “I can never stop thinking about you.”
Your hands move up to run through his hair, moaning out as his lips suck a purple mark into your skin.
His hands slide around to the front of your sweats and pull them forward so he can slip a hand in.
You lift up, mouth going slack as you feel two of his fingers push past your soaked and needy folds. His fingers instantly curl, ripping a moan away from your lips.
Your hand moves to grip his neck and you lean in to press your lips to his, whimpering against them as his fingers slide out and move up to your clit.
Colby’s free hand presses into your lower back, pulling you into him, “A part of me wants to fuck you so hard because you ghosted me, but the other part of me wants to love on you.”
You kiss to his ear, moaning quietly as his fingers stay pressed to your clit, “Why not both?”
“I love the way you think.” He kisses down your neck as he leans forward, pushing you back as he does, “Don’t know why you didn’t wear something easier.”
He laughs slightly, glancing up at you as you feel your ass get exposed when he pulls your sweats down over it, “I mean, come on. Did you really think we weren’t going to fuck?”
“Shut up.” You whisper as you move around to get your sweats off. Colby’s hands slide up your bare thighs, gripping your hips tightly, “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” You ask innocently as you move to undo his pants. Colby watches hard as you quickly work to free his cock.
“Tellin’ he to shut up.” He drags hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear. He studies your face for a few seconds before his hand shifts back and takes a nasty grip on your hair, “I think you’re the one that needs to shut up..”
He pulls you in and kisses your lips, “Get back into your seat and lean over here.”
You quickly move over to the drivers seat and lean over the center console, only to wince when the previous grip on your hair returns.
Colby grabs the base of his cock and you immediately open your lips, welcoming the leaking tip onto your tongue.
He taps it a few times, the grip on your hair slowly subsiding as he lets you swirl and bob your head on your own terms, but that didn’t last long.
A harsh gag erupts from your throat as Colby pushes your head all the way down without warning, “Fuck, you’re so hot, baby.” He pants, bucking his hips, “S-shit.”
Your nails dig into his clothed thigh, eyes squeezing shut as you focus on trying to control your breathing, mainly because that’s the only thing you can do.
“fuck, do you want this cock to be yours and only yours, baby?”
He lifts your head and you come up with a gasp, eyes watery and lips puffy as you nod, whimpering out a weak, “Y-yes.”
“Mm.” Colby hums lowly, “Do you think you still need to learn a lesson for ghosting me then?”
You nod weakly and that’s all it took.
Colby pulls you back over into his lap and your elbows are rested on his shoulders as he lifts your hips up himself.
You bite your lip, eyes slowly closing the more his his cock inches into you.
“Fuck.” Colby groans out, holding you as still as he can, “Don’t move. Don’t move.”
“What?” You whimper out, “why?”
“I just want you to sit for a little bit baby, really take in the feeling of it, but I want you to beg for me while you do it.”
You groan and try to sit up but his arms tighten, “Better hope no cars decide to drive by, we’ve been lucky so far.”
It was this moment that you realized that you’re on a backroad and anyone can stumble upon you.
“Shit.” You breathe out, “Maybe we sh-“
Colby shifts and you moan out, “Fuck, Colby.”
“Feels good don’t it?” He asks in a cocky manner and you roll your eyes, “Yes.. I just..” you try to move your hips and Colby’s grip tightens, “I didn’t hear you beg for it yet, sweetheart.”
You sigh, “Colby. Please.”
“Please what, baby?” He brings his hand around to brush his fingers under your chin, his touch making the need to get off on him worse.
“I need you to fuck me!”
“Louder, baby.”
“Fuck me, Colby. Baby, please!”
He grinds your hips against him and your hands grip his shoulders as you scream out, “Fuck daddy, please, please I need you to fuck me!”
With the last word from your lips, Colby had your hips bouncing up and down on his cock within a second.
“Don’t ever leave me.” Colby groans lowly into your neck, “You’re not going anywhere.”
You moan in response, moving your hips with his pulls and pushes.
“Ya hear me?” He breathes out, gripping your chin to make your look at him, “Do you fucking hear me?”
“Yes. Colby. Yes.” You lay your hands on his cheeks, and with that, it’s like the mood changed. His grip on your body was, loving. No longer harsh.
His kisses were gentle and he held you close.
It’s like you broke him, you broke Colby Brock.
“I love you.” He whispers lowly and you turn your head, keeping your hips in a steady rhythm as your lips find his, “I love you.”
He kisses down your neck, biting down and sucking make into your skin, and right as you are about to cum, Colby taps your hip quickly, “Carcarcar.. car.”
You jump off, moving to the drivers seat start driving. You make your way down the road away from the said car, and the only thing you can do is laugh.
Colby reaches over after he fixes himself and lays his sweatshirt over your lap, “Here, babe.”
“Thank you.” You smile over at him and he takes his hand in yours, “Alright, sweetheart. Take me home so we can finish what we started.”
You pout, “Yeah, I was so close to a-“
“Don’t worry.” Colby smirks as he brings your knuckles to his lips, “I’ll make it up to you.”
——
Thank you so much for reading. I love you all. Thank you so much for being so patient with me while I work to get these out! 🖤
Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!
#samandcolby-ownme#Colby Brock#Colby Brock smut#dirty colby brock#colby brock one shot#Colby Brock fanfic#Colby Brock x reader#colby brock x y/n smut#colby brock x reader smut#colby brock x you#colby brock x y/n#colby brock dirty imagines#colby brock smut one shot#smut one shot
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the murder time trio got issues but those issues are so much WORSE in nightmares castle. living inside that hellhole of a building is like literally living inside a nightmare
they cannot get any fucking sleep because they either have terrible terrible nightmares or they literally cant sleep because the negative aura is so strong they literally cant calm down. only way to sleep in nightmares castle is to quite literally knock yourself out or find a way to sleep so damn deep you can't think
they have no idea where the hell they are half the time because th castle is so big. killer and dust are convinced that thr castle shapeshifts. killer can't find his way to places he recently found and wants to mess around in while dust's sense of direction is telling him something is off. horror doesn't wanna believe them but he's tried to make multiple maps of the place before and all of them point to thr same result (the castle is a everchanging building that allows people to go only where nightmare wants them to)
hallucinations are commonplace in the castle even though dust and killer are thr only ones that hallucinate shit and they only hallucinate papyrus/shadows. but horror will sometimes hear aliza or see the shadow of papyrus and get freaked out. there have been many occasions of killer running down the halls for his life because he saw a hallucination of chara that he didn't even think of. the castle is EVIL
the castle smells. some parts of it smell of rotting bodies while other parts of it smell like mildew. it's not the nicest thing in the world when horror goes into the pantry and smells mold. dust particularly hates it when he's just trying to sleep in his room and the most sickening invasive and distracting strawberry poundcake smell is in his room. killer doesn't have to deal with this and constantly brags about not being to smell
all of their issues are doubled up and given to the next person. like they get angrier easier. killer has more stage fluctuations in thr castle. dust hallucinates even MORE. horror's chronic pain gets so bad he has to be on painkillers almost all yhe time and all of this shit gets worse the closer nightmare gets to their location. because who knew a negative aura would result in negative EVERYTHING instead of just negative feelings
also it's cold as shit. but somehow also hot as hell. the closer they get to nm the colder it gets in the castle but also some parts are just sweltering depending on nm's mood and if thr castle senses that he wants to fuck around with the trio's temperature. it's so entertaining to him to watch killer unknowingly go from shivering to sweating and bro doesn't even know it because he can't process his lack of homeostasis
nightmares aura should be more utilized because even though th negative emotions idea is cool im shre a NEGATIVE aura could mean so many things if you just apply your mind to it. also if the trio ever slept in just thr SLIGHTEST vicinity of dream it would be like heaven. they'd immediately switch teams/ditch the gang but sadly nm doesn't let them 💀
#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#nightmare sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#nightmare is an atrociously bad being and i think we should let him be the worst he can possibly get#tricule hc
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Hii :D
No pressure writing prompt,
From this list about seeking out physical affection : acting like they're cold to have an excuse to cuddle or share clothes or blankets
Hey!!! Thanks for the prompt!! 💚💚💚
I thought I was going to not do this after a couple false starts and then ended up writing nearly 1k for it xD
“Hey can I uh… can I steal a hoodie from you for the evening?” Buck asks, after a minute of rummaging through his bag. “I must have left mine in my locker.”
“Sure,” Eddie replies, not taking his eyes off the movie. “If there’s not one in my room there should be one in the dryer.”
He doesn’t blame Buck for being forgetful at the end of that shift. It had been a truly awful one – one of those shifts that ends with everyone calling their shrinks to see if they can get an emergency appointment. Eddie already had an appointment with Frank booked for the next day, so he waited patiently for Buck to finish sorting his own out before inviting him back to the house for a movie night with Chris.
Although Chris had only spent the duration of a single movie with them tonight before excusing himself to his room under the guise of having homework to complete. The likelihood of him actually doing homework is low, but tonight Eddie doesn’t have it in him to care. His kid is safe and happy and alive under his roof, who cares if he’s doing his homework or playing video games. Some kids can’t do either anymore.
Buck returns a few minutes later, wearing Eddie’s old, tatty, LAFD hoodie and clutching two fresh beers, one of which gets placed on the coffee table in front of Eddie.
They settle back into quietly watching the movie, and Eddie at least is trying to avoid letting his thoughts stray back to the last twelve hours. It’s about an hour and a half later that he cannot stay sat any longer without thinking about it, so he stands up and starts to head towards the kitchen.
He turns to Buck, about to ask if he wants anything while he’s up, but his best friend’s appearance stops the words in their tracks.
Buck is sat the other end of the couch, where he’s been all night, with his feet up and knees pulled loosely to his chest, the sleeves of Eddie’s hoodie pulled over his hands where they’re hugging his legs. His face is flushed, and there’s something that looks like a tear running down towards his chin. Except, as Eddie studies him for a few seconds longer and notices another one on Buck's forehead, he realises it must actually be sweat.
Out of habit, maybe, Eddie reaches out and feels Buck’s forehead with the back of his hand.
Buck swats his hand away. “Dude what the fuck?”
“Take the hoodie off, Buck. You’re boiling hot, man, you feel like you have a fever. D’ya want me to get the medicine from the cabinet or… uh… I can—”
“Eddie it’s not a fever. I’ll… I’ll take the hoodie off, okay?” Buck swings his legs back over onto the floor and pulls the hoodie over his head, before handing it to Eddie. “Happy?”
Eddie just stares at Buck. “Why did you even put it on? There’s no way you could have been cold when you asked for it.”
“I uh…” Buck rubs his neck sheepishly. “I feel like shit after that shift a-and uh… I knew it would smell like… like this house and… and like you. And… I don’t know it’s just… it’s… it’s…”
“Comforting?” Eddie suggests.
Buck nods.
There’s something about this new piece of knowledge – about knowing that his house and his presence is comforting to his best friend – that eases a small bit of his own post-shift heartache. He wonders if Buck has ever had someone to borrow clothes from before, because Eddie hasn’t. Shannon and Ana had borrowed his clothes during their respective relationships, but Eddie had never been able to do the same – nothing of theirs would have fit him.
He's strangely glad he can do this for Buck,, although it’s not ideal that Buck is literally overheating just to get a small amount of comfort.
“I’ll be right back,” he says, leaving the room with a hoodie and returning a minute later, handing Buck the new item in his hand. Buck looks up at him with a questioning glance. “The hoodie was too hot so, uh, I thought one of my t-shirts might work better.”
The look of awe on Buck’s face is overwhelming. Instead of saying anything, he stands up and pulls off the t-shirt he’s already wearing – which is sweat-soaked in places. Eddie feels a surprising need to look away for the couple seconds that Buck is shirtless; he’s not sure why, they change in front of each other all the time.
When he looks back, Buck is wearing one of Eddie’s slightly less worn black tees. Buck opens and closes his mouth a few times, but doesn’t say anything. Eddie can’t think of anything to say either, so he does the only thing he can think of, and pulls Buck in for a hug.
It’s strange, for Buck to have the scent of Eddie’s laundry detergent mixed with his shower gel from the station. But strange in a good way, and while the hug is short, it further eases the cloud in Eddie’s head.
The movie is still playing, and when Buck sits back down on the couch, Eddie sits closer to him, only an inch of space between their bodies. When Buck shuffles across and closes that space, Eddie reaches an arm across the back of the couch and rests his hand on Buck’s shoulder, pulling Buck gently closer against him.
“Just ask next time,” he whispers. “Or don’t. If it makes you feel better just… just take the clothes, Buck.”
#asks#jesuiscenseedormir#aspecbuddie writes#buddie fic#911 fic#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 abc
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hello people in my phone
BOONE head cannon list, just a mix of stuff that'll probably change later ( THERE WILL BE MORE ) 1/?
• He undoubtedly was ripped/heavily worked out being in the ncr, after moving to novac and loosing his wife he undoubtedly lost a lot of muscle but...guys he still is literally like beefed.
• He cannot fucking cook for shit, he understands what shouldn't be put in your body but from there he has no clue.
• Going off of cooking, he has strict times where he eats, like routine from the ncr.
• For some reason he strikes me as a guy who really enjoys fruit whenever he can get his hands on it.
• Cannot tolerate any sort of spice.
• Smells very mettalic, sweaty, like man must.
• Has a soft spot for cats.
• 1000% is not bald, just shaves his head as he probably prefers the look.
• I feel like with a romantic partner, since he isn't one much for talking his love language would be physical touch or gift giving, I could imagine him seeing stuff he knows they'd like and saving it for later, excited to see how they'd react.
• He would definitely have a special place in his heart for fantasy movies, he doesn't seem to be able to express himself well and I feel like the creativity of something like lord of the rings would get him going.
• I seriously cannot pick so I'll include both, he is either an extreme cuddler with a romantic partner or on very rare occasions, he's just terrible at expressing emotion.
• If the courier and him are something like romantic partners he'd definitely never be able to sleep, often awake staring and listening for noises, waiting for the next cascade of legionares but it never happens and he eventually learns that.
• I don't think he'd ever get married again unless it'd be over 20 or so years in the future, it's a type of commitment that I don't think he could mentally handle whatsoever unless he is totally over Carla.
• I definitely do think boone could find love again in another person, he's scared and alone, fearful for any sort of attachment.
• 10000% has really really nice man hands, like large hands with nice fingers.
• Is definitely tall but not close to arcade tall, 6' ish at MOST, I just feel like looking at his build and concept art that he is definitely a tall man.
• Secretly really has a thing for drawing whenever he can, especially when he was nested at novac, sitting up top the dinosaur scribbling stuff on old receipts or whatever else it helps him get his emotions and thoughts out.
• irl he would be so patriotic it's not even funny, like he'd go all out for fourth of July but is the somber type so he'd cook hot dogs and whatever else then sit in the corner and watch everyone else.
• Has a thing for memorizing features, very very very intuitive and will remember almost anything you tell him.
• He is so the type of guy to enjoy snow, like yeah he'd probably be kinda pissy for a bit but if you pushed his buttons enough I feel like he'd mess around with the courier.
• He absolutely like no doubt has nightmares, like the ones where you erupt in cold sweat and your throat is sore.
• If he does sleep like ever, along with nightmares he grips the sheets, rolls around a whole lot, mumbles. In the ncr he was the total opposite, stone faced, layed straight and slept some what peacefully until later on in his ncr years.
• Yearns for someone, even platonic, to just sit beside him, no words and scratch his back and kinda just touch him lightly. I don't think he'd cry but it's something I could imagine would bring him close to tears.
• He absolutely probably finds almost everyone annoying, like, he just is done with everything and doesn't give two shits about what anyone has to say unless the courier puts some sense into him.
• Really disagrees with gambling, just doesn't like it.
• Wishes he had a nice farm house, out somewhere away from everything, where it has everything he needs and could be away from absolutely everyone. ( of course after extracting revenge on the legion )
• He wants to learn how to play guitar, either he has tried and is horrible or has just never gotten the chance, I have a feeling he'd really be into (irl) like classic rock or something smooth.
• Cannot look at people with features his wife had the same, down to personality or looks.
• Absolutely dreads deep down without realizing going back to novac when the courier disbands him.
• He would like having books read to him, he's a listener not a reader, likes hearing people's voices just not his own.
• At a point probably had a nickname for his rifle, something like Beth or something that was a joke between him and Manny.
• Manny 1000% at a point tried hinting to boone or even confessing his love for him, either the point never got across or they got over it together. ( somewhat ish at a point )
• In all reality I play him out to be a really sweet guy, which I can imagine and he can somewhat tend to be but he ultimately really doesn't care, he'll kill in order to get what he wants ( so be it revenge or whatever else ) even if he isn't necessarily fond of it.
• At a point, consumed by guilt he forgets what Carla looks like and that eats him up inside, like the teeth gritting soul crushing ache for revenge, and a year or two leads him to completely forget her complexion.
#fallout#fallout new vegas#fnv#craig boone#arcade gannon#new vegas#boone#vulpes inculta#headcanon#benny fallout#veronica fnv#rex fnv#fallout 3#fallout 1#fallout 4#fallout show#fallout shitpost#shitpost#ncr#new california republic#writers on tumblr#writing#writblr
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omg spill grimes dirt ! I’ve never liked her either always got bad vibes off her
he met her in montreal at some party.. he needed a place to crash for the night and she offered her place to him. so he went over to her apartment and she’s living absolute “flat cat” hoarder style. garbage everywhere, cat shit and piss everywhere, dishes lying everywhere with literal mould-growth caked on them, the works. it’s not fit for human life, it smells horrific .. I mean just imagine…. and he’s thinking to himself oh my god why did I do this …. grimes comes out behind some towers of trash in another room to greet him and she says “ive been awake for 3 days alternating between railing meth and mdma to work on my album [visions]” and he’s like ok???….. he’s inquiring like about her living situation to see if there’s some explanation for why it’s so bad. he learns instead that she owns the apartment, owns the fuckin building, and is a literal slumlord! she goes back to her “office”.. he sits on the couch unable to sleep the entire night because he’s afraid he might die from inhaling decomposing-gas fumes or get toxoplasmosis from touching anything
#grimes#the fact that she was pretending to live in crack houses when she was literally just a landlord….
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someone requested some iv content so here's some lil blurby stuff cause I cannot create a full length fic for the life of me lol I'm sorry bb. This isn't structured rlly it's just a collection of my random thoughts off the dome while thinking abt him so lmk if you want me to elaborate on anything.
*nsfw below the cut, MDNI*
cw: petplay, sex toys, raw sex (pls wrap that shit), mentions of choking, breeding, subspace, phone sex, mirror sex, threesomes, DP, oral
◇ he's so-
◇ when you first got together, iv was much more reserved but as the group gained some traction and more opportunities presented themselves the the boys, he can't help himself he let the fame get a *little* to his head. He's become much more outgoing in many ways and he knowssss he's fine at this point. He will use this fact against you cause he knows how easy it is to melt you from the inside out so you're a pliant little toy in his hands.
◇ he's always been so sweet to you. Constantly bringing you flowers with sweet notes or forcefully making time in his schedule so he can see his sweet girl and give her the attention she deserves. He knows it could be tough being with someone who has to keep their personal life on the low but he makes up for it 100%.
◇ he swears up and down he's not *trying* to come off this way but he's tiptoeing the line of being your sugar daddy lol. If you so much as even mention something you want in passing, it's in your hands within the next day at most. After a little, this extended from things *you* said you wanted, to things *he* wants to give you. This includes the sluttiest lingerie you've ever laid eyes on, jewelry with his name on it, and countless sex toys he pleads for you to use on camera so he can rewatch while he's out on tour.
◇ he's head over heels for you, and absolutely *cannot* get enough. Your smell, your taste, your touch, all of it. He'd inject you into his veins if possible. Even while fucking you, one angle isn't enough. iv has strategically aligned a couple mirrors so he gets all the best views of you no matter what position he's manipulated you into and ugh it makes his head spin sometimes. You deserve to be in a museum but he can't help himself but to be a lil rough with you on occasion.
◇ knows how to get into your head and all up under your skin, on multiple occasions he's slid behind you while you're getting ready in the mirror and rested his head on your shoulder just to whisper the filthiest things imaginable in your ear. He'll wrap his arms around your waist or run his hands up and down your torso, sliding down to your thighs and tugging the hem of your dress up little by little while detailing just how pretty he think you are in it in a low voice. Sometimes he'll slide one hand up and gently squeeze your throat, leaning your head back onto his shoulder while he's touching you. He makes a whole ordeal of it and most often, you end up right back in bed.
◇ he's got lots of sweet little pet names for you. Love is absolutely his favorite but sweet girl, pretty thing, sweetheart, all perfect. He's not big on degradation *however*, he did get you the prettiest engraved collar with a cute little tag reading "slut" in his handwriting.
◇ bouncing directly off that, man's into some petplay. Loves knowing you're all his and wrapped right around his finger. The physical manifestation of this is him wrapping your leash around his hand and tugging when you break eye contact while he's fucking you like he hates you (he doesn't but the way he bullies your poor insides, it sure feels like it.) He's got you a collection of pretty collars with his name on them, and adores having you sat at his feet at any given chance. He'll also literally pet you, fingers lovingly brushing your skin or running through your hair absent-mindedly but ugh it feels so fucking good, what's not to enjoy about having his hands on you? Throws you right into a comfy subspace.
◇ I think all of the ST Boys are in this boat but God if he doesn't get lightheaded at the thought of breeding you. He'll grab your hips and pull you to meet his deep thrusts while your head hangs over the edge of the bed, watching the scene from the full length mirror beside you. He gets off on the fact not only is it the *ultimate* claim on you, but thanks to his mirror fixation, he gets to watch the whole thing and know it's the exact moment he knocked you up. You're already perfect in his eyes but once you're all round and pretty, he *really* won't be able to keep his hands off of you. It'll only serve to make him more possessive as well, that's his baby carrying his actual baby, he'll be damned if anything happens to you or you're not treated like a piece of fine china.
◇ he's very possessive of you like I said, *but* if one of the other boys wanna join...he'll consider. By consider I mean he'll hold you on his lap, arms hooked under your legs and holding them open while iii eats you out like he's starved. Your head is leaned back on his shoulder and he's praising you for being so good for both of them, he'll also direct some praise to iii for treating you so well. As long as he's ultimately the one pulling the strings and directing the scene, he's in his element. Fucking you from behind while Vessel's down your throat or leaving countless dark hickeys and love bites all over your neck and chest while he and ii fill both of your holes. You're his, doesn't matter if they get a taste cause he's the one you belong to.
#iv#iv sleep token#Sleep token smut#Sleep token#Listen#I can't write for the life of me but these are just my thoughts
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lee type of bf :
- lee, contrary to popular belief...is just one big teddy-bear. he LOVES to cuddle. he lives for that shit.
- nights that you both spend in his truck are quite uncomfortable being squashed in the back together, except when you look at him and he is having the most peaceful sleep of his life.
- honestly, he won't admit it but you can see it on his face when he passes out and he looks so peaceful. he sleeps way better when he has someone warm to cuddle.
- he will randomly come up to you, whether you're laying in bed or on the couch and just crush you.
- HE CRUSHES YOU. he will just put his entire body ON YOU. sitting on the couch? cool he's on top of you now. laying in bed trying to sleep? get suffocated. he's on you. ALWAYS. he's just needy, have mercy :D
- he's also like a cat in a way. he wants to cuddle but only when HE wants to. but if you cuddle up to him in bed or on the couch he won't deny you.
- PLEASE crush him back. no matter your body weight (off topic head cannon but lee loves ALL body types. it doesn't matter. HE LOVES YOU.) CRUSH HIM BACK. he's sitting on the couch? get on top of him. he's laying in bed trying to sleep? suffocate him.
(he will never tell you directly when he wants cuddles, but you know how to recognize his puppy look)
- he enjoys spooning the most, that or laying his head on your tummy and laying between your legs. (bonus points if you have a squishy tummy)
- when you both are spooning he loves to shove his face into the crook of your neck and smell you. he's a weirdo.
- on the topic of smelling. he likes the way his partner smells. (HE'S BISEXUAL!! ITS CANNON!!) he likes to randomly smell your hair or your clothes. he thinks he's sneaky but he isn't.
- he also enjoys if his partner has like, long ish fluffy hair, mostly because he likes to play with it. as long as he can rake his fingers through it while cuddling you he's content.
- on the topic of hair HE LOVESS and i mean LOVESS when you scratch his scalp or massage his head and play with his hair when he cuddles with you.
- his ideal sleeping position consists of his face swuished into your tummy, either you laying on your back or your side. (if you're on your side he is most definitely hugging your torso and squeezing you.) him smelling your shirt, and you playing with his hair.
- looks like he could kill you? he's a cinnamon roll.
- he's literally just a big baby. he enjoys being pampered. he doesn't look it but he does. he also will not admit it.
- likes to act hot and confident but he just wants your attention.
- ideally lee would like to sleep at night with just a t-shirt and his boxers...but if you're weirded out by that he'll settle for some shorts.
- on the topic of kissing be carful he does nibble. he can't help it. one second he's lightly kissing your tummy and then you'll feel his teeth. or he's kissing your neck and you feel his teeth. don't be scared though...he won't actually bite you or eat you. he loves you too much for that.
- if you're an eater too then he could ask you to go feeding with him. it's a very intimate thing between eaters and he wants to enjoy it with you.
(maybe just to be in charge to clean you once in the shower hehe)
- HE JUST LOVES PHYSICAL CONTACT SO MUCH PLEASE!!! (he'll never tell you)
- sometimes dirty minded and pervy, he can't help
- let him lay his head in your lap and he'll die. babyyyy.
- speaking of him being a child. if he's having a bad day he will claim he wants to be left alone because he's emo but if you just persist and randomly cuddle up to him his eyes will literally turn into hearts.
- you'll just feel him shove his mouth on to your tummy and hear the farting noises...he's such a child.
- JEALOUS. I REPEAT, DEADLY JEALOUS.
(sorry for your lovers, but we both know how it's going to end)
- cooks you breakfast every morning he can.
- falls asleep looking at the stars with you, at the back of his pickup.
- if he's out he will leave a piece of paper on the fridge saying he loves you and listing the ingredients for you to cook.
- loves, literally LOVES to go on long trips with you on his blue pick-up (especially mountain)
- professional studies (me) has deduced that he loves to be submissive, so he could literally lose control if you put yourself on top.
- loves to share cigarettes or oversized clothes with you. (sometimes even his boxers)
#timothée chalamet#timothee chalamet#timothee chalamet x reader#timothee x y/n#timothée x reader#bones and all#lee bones and all#lee bones and all x reader#&. LEE#&. LEE x yn
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Pollution Powers AU Fiddleford manifests his power while he's out working in the fields on the farm. He walks into the house and is immediately told to go shower, because he reeks and is filthy. Which is expected after working the fields.
But when he's done showering, Ma McGucket scolds him for not washing properly. He still smells and has dirt on him! Fiddleford is confused, given he scrubbed like usual. But he goes to shower again.
When he emerges, his skin is rubbed raw from how hard he was scrubbing, but he still smells, and as Ma McGucket watches, patches of dirt form on his freshly washed face.
And she realizes that something strange and possibly serious is going on.
#Fidds' odor isn't dismissed as just ''teen boy in puberty'' bc it is a v different smell from that#no he smells like shit. like literal shit.#sometimes he smells a bit different#like ammonia or hydrogen sulfide#but mostly he smells like animal poop#eventually he's able to tone down the odor as I've said before#but when his power first shows up it is VERY overwhelming#Pollution Powers AU#speecher speaks#(I just realized I posted a Fiddle centric post on Fiddleford Friday#I did it! I participated!)#Fiddleford McGucket
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yea miraculous sucks but honestly they kinda popped off with a magical cat boy whose special magical weapon against evil is a lead pipe and the special magical power of stage 4 necrosis
#and he just smells like cheese 24/7#poor guy#I’m sorry this show is overtaking me. STAY IN THE BOX NOOOOOO STAY IN THE BOX NOOOOOO GET OUT OF MY SKIIIINNNN#deciding that he’s just my character now sorry#i could fix him narratively#cal.txt#miraculous ladybug#chat noir#I’m just very very autistic about the fact that his power is literally just. Destroy Shit#im telling y’all he and jack kline my disintegrating buddy over here they are Pals okay#mutuals you aren’t seeing this i. promise my only bad media is supernatural still#i am a very silly individual
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Sebastian Appreciation
This man gives me the ick something fierce, and it may be jealousy, and it may just be self-realization. But I’m starting to identify more with him the more I realize my little sister is practically Maru and my best friends are just Sam and Abby. (@nimbuseyes that’s literally you!!)
So I HAVE to be the stinky emo frog boy!!! 😔‼️ so I’m going to draw him until I like him (I like him fine I just have a bit of an awkward relationship with me liking him. Long story.)
#Enjoy#stardew sebastian#sdv sebastian#fanart#artists on tumblr#Honestly#I think I would like him about 10x more if he didn’t smoke#And I know you can help him quit or whatever but the smell of cigarette smoke is the worst smell on the planet.#I would literally rather breathe in elephant shit fumes and call it yummy than sit around someone who’s smoking. It’s disgusting.#Stardew fanart#paper art#traditional drawing#Stardew valley
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Another Grant headcanon:
I think he wrote love notes when in relationships, and he went all out with like making the paper scented and stuff. But like he had no good perfume so he ended up using his horrible body spray. So like the lucky boyfriend would like find a paper reeking of the body spray like every once in a while.
Also I think he was someone who fell deep into romance because having a crush and feeling butterflies in his stomach was better than numbness. So he would pursue every crush even if he knew it would not end well because of the thrill of it. I think this sucked but I think he atleast felt like this is a normal way for life to suck.
#honestly I was thinking he continued the note thing with marco in college maybe?#and now marco likes the smell of the body spray even if grant found better perfumes cuz nostalgia#i think i am in my own la dee da world after this episode#where I think if willy takes a break from torturing the parents they should form a circle and become bffs#they should form a circle#toast to rebecca#and then just talk shit idk#i think they would be very funny as a group after they are done grieving#like cassandra would be like how could I have dated such a loser#he literally kidnapped like four of my exs ex friends and put collars on them when we were dating#and they would be like no its not your fault he is that manipulative#and then one of them would talk about their ex to comfort her#and then somwhow it would come out that willy is like the age of their grandparents#and cassandra would be like why did this senior citizen get me so bad#he told me to make him a sandwich and I#a multimillionaire made him a sndwich#this will probably never happen in canon#dndads#grant wilson#dungeons and daddies#the tags are their own seperate post at this point#dndads s2#looking back on this(tags)#all the spouses knew willy as a nice guy who saved them#rebecca was the only one who suspected him so thats why he killed her#they must be feeling so duped getting tortured except for marco who saw him kill a man#cassandra has been feeling duped since heaven#this is killing me all of them are having conversations in my head now the comedy and the pain is killing me mostly the comedy#marco li wilson#grant li wilson
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langa special
#sk8 the infinity#hasegawa langa#kyan reki#renga#sure. every shrimp is a prawn etc#man. listen. langa is my core ''freaks make the world go round'' baby rn#I have like. a Thesis in my brain abt skateboarding and how its viewed in sk8 and like. deviancy and social norms and#the intrinsic relation between being cool and being a weirdo. gods I did Not shut up at mim abt it last night#or two nights ago. time is fake#fuckign brought up adam in relation to warfred bartosz too that was embarrassing#(for the record my opinion on adam is ''he is too rich and being less rich would literally cure him'')#but yeah I'm laying a bit of ''purposefully thick'' on langa here. its not that the boy doesnt know its that he doesnt care#guy who deals with anxiety by simply not thinking#every day in langas brain he walks into a room full of smashed cups and vases and he like. picks up a few pieces at a time#and puts em on the counter. hes been doing this for months#bet kid has set fire to something in a steel barrel at least once. langa youre a real one to me#anyways! the ''tastes like ant'' thing is real I just experienced it. idk why but I think? oolong caramel?#can smell Really close to the ant smell. it is Very weird#(I did finish that piece of cake anyway. paid for that shit)#last night has been full of events! that I am still digesting. theater very good. hangin out with friends very good too#heres to freaks. makin the world go round. gotta be weird to be cool!#have a good night! I pass the fuck out now. goobaba. tilt ur stage a little bit it makes a world of difference
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What exactly does Ascended Astarion do with the seven thousand piles of rotting gore in the basement? Someone’s gotta to clean that shit up and it’s not gonna be him
#I think he would have to do some game of thrones shit where he hires workers to clean it up and then have them all killed lol#like no one could ever know about the literal thousands of corpses stinking up the basement#also you would definitely smell that shit from Cazador’s office#astarion#ascended astarion
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hes cute and all but my new puppys breath smells like he fucking smokes
#it's literally so funny#he was at the pound and before then a stray#not exposed to that stuff#and yet#smells like he breathed that shit in#we don't know what to call him so I'm kinda just calling him little guy rn
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