Ride 758: The senpai's few words

Pag 2

1: Aoyagi-san!!

Pag 3

1: Wha- what happened, Danchiku, you stopped so suddenly

2: Why is he here, in Kyushu!?

What is it, what is it

4: He's probably the person I'd want to see the most right now!!

5: What is it, is there someone in the audience area?

Someone you know? You look so surprised

I wouldn't be so surprised even if someone was there

Pag 4

2: He-hello!! You... you came to... cheer us on!?

3: It's been a while, Danchiku

4: Yes.... yes!!

Thank you so much for coming so far to see us!!

5: You got bigger

Pag 5

2: Thank you so much

3: Uhm, actually

There's something I'd like to talk to you about, is that....

4: Aoyagi-saaaan!!

-okay!?

Pag 6

1: What, for real!?

What, are you really here- amaaazing!!

Oi, Issa, I was....

2: Wait... did you just made Aoyagi-san lose consciousness with your tackle!?

3: Aoyagi-saaan!! Hahahaha!!

You're attacking him when he's already down...!!

4: I'm... o... okay...

No, he keeps pausing while talking!!

Hahaha

5: I'll lead you to our tent!! Carry him, Danchiku!!

'Carry him'....

Pag 7

2: Thank you

2: I wished you had told me you'd come though, Aoyagi!!

You forgot to add “san”, Kabuagi

3: There was something... I wanted to talk to you about but

4: I guess it can't be helped....

(You're ending up yielding again, Danchiku)

5: Ah right

6: Aoyagi-san is

Pag 8

1: A member of last year's team!!

He's the column who supported Sohoku from below last year!!

2: Someone who gained experience through hard work and difficulties and debuted in his third year, ran as a sprinter, pulled the team, and brought back the members so many times

3: Without talking, without refusing, he just did it silently!!

5: Even when he was in a pinch, when he was injured, he moved forward with all his might without ever standing out!!

If he hadn't been there, there's no way Sohoku could have won!!

Pag 9

1: He-he sounds amazing, teh

Right!! I'm really flashy, so his way of running is probably the exact opposite of mine

2: Hearing it again, he really is an amazing person.....

and I also know well what happened with his leg on the third day

4: If I was in the same position and got injured.... would I be able to run the same way?

5: “He'll run away right away”

“He's a chicken”

Pag 10

1: In this Inter High that is about to start

Pag 11

1: Since Aoyagi-san came to see us, I'll smash the starting dash!

There's no need to smash, run calmly

2: Should I get subbed out?

I'm still in time

4: “No one will blame you”

“I can be done in fifteen minutes”

5: I'm at my peak now!!

Save it for the race

6: You're an idiot as usual

I'll forgive everything you say, Aoyagi-san!!

7: What can I do, what......

Nothing....!!

Pag 12

1: The stage event is starting soon

Last year's champions, Sohoku High School, representative of Chiba, please come to the stage

Kakaka, it's our turn!!

2: Teh.... I'm nervous, the

There's gonna be tons of spectators!!

3: Do-do we take a video? I'll do it, Sugimoto-san

I'll leave it to you then. I'll finish up here

4: Su-

Sugimoto-san!!

6: Ao.... yagi-san.....

Pag 13

1: Could you do me one favor?

2: Ah- yes!

Do you want something to eat!! Right away!!

3: The food truck is there... is curry alright?

4: …. no

5: A band-aid!? A nail-clipper!?

Leave it to me, after all I worked a lot behind-the-scene last year

6: Oi, Danchiku, what are you doing. Let's go

8: Ye.... yes

Pag 14

1: Take care of that idiot

Pag 15

3: The Inter High is harsh and long

But he's reckless and can't read the air

5: You, on the other hand

6: You always keep an eye on your surroundings and pay attention to what people say and do

And that means

Pag 16

1: That you can make an accurate judgment of risk in any situation

3: The ability to read small details when you're in a pinch is essential in road racing

4: Earlier in the midst of more than a hundred people in the audience area, you

Pag 17

1: found me at one glance

4: I think you know this too, but he can only look ahead

Please support him, take a step back and, as always

5: be watchful

Pag 18

2: Yessir!! Thank you so much!!

4: “Take a step back”.....!! Taking a step back.... yielding, are my...

5: If this small heart is my ability

Pag 19

2: then I'll be the one running, Issa!!

Together with you!!

At full throttle!!

Pag 20

1: Run, Danchiku

Just like I did last year

2: with Junta

3: I'm sure your feelings will give you strength

These are the members of Sohoku, the Chiba prefecture representative who won the championship last year

Pag 21

1: So far they have won two times in a row

3: What's wrong.... your balloon... shall I get it for you?

Pag 22

2: Thank you, Onii-chan

3: That's surprising, Midosuji-san

You're so kind

4: Puku.... I am kind, though?

To

5: anyone who doesn't wear a number bib, that is!!

2023 game list, part 1: I love complaining!

Once again continuing what has become an honorable tradition thanks to @smash-64 💜

I tried to promise myself I'd be more organized this year, trying to take notes after I beat things, making lists and gifs and everything, as it has become a consistent yearly undertaking. In truth, what happened is that I felt more overwhelmed by this than I did the last three years. The best explanation I can give is a combination of two facts: this year, while not particularly worse than what came before, still saw my confidence in myself tank a bit (i.e. What does this matter when few people read it and I don't bring much things of value to the table?)...

And the fact that I played very few games that really stuck with me, that I enjoyed enough to see through to the end and feel like that had merit, for a lot of the year. When that wasn't the case, it was more than likely I'd been on my nth playthrough of Katana ZERO of the year (more on that in a later post, hopefully).

I probably need help, don't I?..

games I played, but don't have much to say about at the moment without being prompted, aside from 'I kinda liked them, I guess', ordered best to worst:

Purrfect Apawcalypse trilogy (2019-2021) - series of VNs that's genuinely just good fun as you find yourself attached to the characters before you know it. You'll know if this one is for you at a glance. Also, this is how I found out about Panel Royale! LOL

The Witch's House MV (2018) - good old RPG Maker horror with a few decent twists. The remake has good QOL changes.

Gunbrella (2023) - the plot might be forgettable, but you get a gun that's an umbrella! What's not to enjoy?

Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest (1995) - I played this game, but only in the most technical sense. Literally cheated the fun out of it - either that, or this platformer style is not for me.

Coffee Talk: Episode 2 - Hibiscus & Butterfly (2023) - the most upsetting entry on the list. The writer behind the original game has passed away, and his absence is felt keenly even if you're not aware of the fact - because this sequel lacks charm.

Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion (2021) - yet another of those cheap and short indie 2D Zelda clones. The definition of the word meh.

Irisu Syndrome (2008) - a unique free puzzle timewaster. Tries to have a story and fails.

dishonorable mentions (the part with the most complaining)

2064: Read Only Memories (PC, 2014) [♪ Home (Not) Sweet Home]

Starts off decent enough, doing the bare minimum to string you along the mystery (which, for most people with standards, wouldn't even be good enough, but I was willing to stick with it for the sake of the neat audiovisual presentation).

As soon as the murder scene is revealed, however, the main plot starts to fall apart, and the longer you spend with the game's writing (which seems to go on and on forever) and characters (about as flat as a pancake fresh off the pan), the more bleak and yawn-inducing they seem (including Turing, who just took longer than everyone else to annoy me).

Do yourself a favor, play VA-11 Hall-A (which this game gratuitously references) instead. You'll get all the benefits of cute pixel art and upbeat soundtrack, but with an actually good story\character cast to match. I swear it says something about 2064 that one of its most exciting moments was seeing throwaway lines from a VA-11 character!

Ori and the Blind Forest: Definitive Edition (PC, 2015) [♪ Climbing the Ginso Tree]

This is a game that won awards back when it came out almost a decade ago. Unfortunately, it feels like it was made to win awards and little more. While the credits scrolling up the screen tried to convince otherwise - with the usual special thanks given to families and pets of the developers - I sat there, unsure of what I was supposed to take from this experience (once again, the less words you try to use to tell your story, the more it usually suffers!).

The heart of any platformer is its movement systems - and, while eventually Ori's tools open up just enough to make you feel at least a little free and alive in its world, they also never go beyond what is almost painfully typical. Double jump, wall climb, ground pound, glide, charged projectile? None of that is going to wow anyone. The way it comes together is not too pleasant, either - Ori's too floaty and the obstacles before him, while painted with a talented stroke, are too unclear in their presentation to make for truly fun traversal. The exception to this is the escape sequences - sure, a lot of the time they're not much less frustrating than the rest of the game, but they're definitely more memorable, to the point where the accompaniment to one was the only part of the soundtrack I could think to showcase.

I don't regret the time I spent on this, per se, but what I can tell you is that it probably didn't deserve the awards. Also, the way the wall jump worked was annoying! Pushing towards the wall to do it feels very counter-intuitive, and with this I found that I much prefer when games have you face away from the wall to register wall jumps, or do not require you to press a direction at all.

Celeste (PC, 2018) [♪ Checking In] + Celeste Classic (2015, played as part of full game) :)

I was in high school when this made waves. I pointedly feigned disinterest as it splashed all over the internet, while making sure to download the soundtrack quickly and listen to it - more than occasionally - over the next three or so years. Lena Raine's work carried me through my school years and empowered me, and all the while I hadn't a clue what playing the game is actually like.

Those were the better days.

Now, the things about this game that seem to appeal the most to a lot of people are how refreshingly simple Madeline's moveset is and how much the game respects your time with death transitions and reloading, and the story it tells through heartfelt cutscenes and gameplay working in sync. To which I boldly say... none of those things are good enough.

Having to climb and manage your stamina adds another layer to navigating the rooms, sure, but to my simple ass, that's one layer too many. To the game's credit, there's a setting to make climbing toggleable instead of requiring you to hold down the trigger, and using that was the only reason I managed to push past the hotel and Oshiro (call me a scrub, it was genuinely overwhelming otherwise), but it still did nothing to change how I feel about this mechanic fundamentally.

I get it, it adds precision and verticality to your movement, and, seeing as you're literally supposed to be scaling a mountain, it's more than a natural inclusion... but its existence did nothing but add pressure for me, somehow. I would frequently forget it's an option at all before realizing the room in question expects me to utilize it. Instead of feeling like climbing expands my options, I felt constricted and awkward.

My second issue is much simpler. I'm a spoiled brat, and Celeste's respawning process involving that annoying whoosh sound effect and a transition that, yes, takes only about a second, but is still not quite instant, was not good enough. I recognize that having it be truly instant would not be ideal, either, but I can't help but wish that was the case.

As for the story... It underwhelmed me even back when I was doing surface level research at the time of release, and it's not impressing me now. It's okay, and I recognize why it would resonate with people - the themes of self-acceptance and resolve are plain to see (and just as plain to mull over). But in my time with the game, Madeline never began feeling less like an avatar for my failures and more like an actual character, never changed into someone I would truly like.

By the time I reached the Mirror Temple, I was certain that this game, in most respects, is just not what I would ever want. I pushed towards the summit anyway, and left it feeling profoundly... nothing.

However... Celeste Classic did not have any of those things! That little prototype gem of a game wastes zero time trying to set the stage and make you feel things with ~a story~, doesn't give you any opportunity to climb whatsoever, and neither does it waste your time having the screen fade to black when you die! And these three things, I reckon, are key to why this smaller version, that's supposed to just be treated as an Easter egg now, a relic of the past, and to be forgotten in favor of the project it grew into... resonated with me so much more! I beat it twice! It's lovely! It's what I actually needed Celeste to be!

IT'S COMPLICATED

AI: The Somnium Files (PC, 2019) [♪ MonzAI] + AI:TSF - Nirvana Initiative (PC, 2022) [♪ Nefarious Institute 1]

You know how they say not to judge the book by its cover? This is a story of me learning (once again) to judge a game neither by its reception nor by the credentials behind it. When I plowed through this duology, I came to understand that sometimes, lightning might strike just the once.

Of course, most of my bitter feelings about it stem from just how miraculous of a fuck-up Nirvana Initiative ended up being as a sequel (it's impressive how much it had to twist everything its predecessor stood for to even have a chance at making a mediocre point!), but a lot of the disappointment came from the way the first game carries itself in general, and maybe even from the presence this game has among fans. 'Oh, if you want more of the magic and mystery that you so enjoyed in Zero Escape, you have to try this! It'll be just as good!'

I should have had my doubts from the start, given how little I had enjoyed the ZE series after 999. AI1 flounders in many things, like its obtuse, deeply unfun gameplay loop - most of which is pressing random buttons until you see the most ridiculous shit present itself. There's also the overt reliance on stale and perverse jokes, and a story that can barely do much except trudge to the finish line and attempt to convince you the journey was worth it with a trite dance number, of all things.

But the thing is… even with all that, the first entry was somewhat compelling during its runtime, though most of that comes from its bold novelty. The idea of taking advantage of the surreality of dreams to find deeply concealed truths is fun to occasionally ponder, and there's just enough fluff to the places you visit and things you do to string you along for the ride (though having to check the same spots for flavor text on each revisit to very little results is a deep annoyance I have with both entries). The characters actually got a chance to grow (if not by much… this series' urge to be immature at every turn is nothing short of ruinous, sometimes), and their designs strike a wonderful line between outstanding and cringeworthy that makes them just… stick out in your brain, you know?

So while I thought the song and dance (both the literal and the metaphorical) were ultimately not worth much, I was still convinced, fooled by the magic just enough to see things come to an end; and the resolution itself was satisfying and believable, if nothing else. And with how exhausted I felt reaching this point, I figured that'd be enough.

To me, AI1 is all about finding shards of diamonds in the rough, and it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that its fandom runs away with what little they have to try and improve on it (and often succeed). As such, you'd expect its sequel to take advantage of how much room there is to grow, capitalize on this chance to refine things, and use the few strong themes the original presented (value of bonds and family made both by blood and by choice, finding those you can rely on to carry what you have done forward, etc)... right?

Um, yeah, turns out it twists over itself even more than I'd already thought possible in order to make sense (not to mention seemingly forsaking most of that mess right at the true end in order to approach the established universe from a contrived meta angle). If AI1 can be described as having extremely unrefined gameplay coupled with a decently intriguing story, NI is just about the opposite of that.

While I'm glad they bothered to make exploring the dream worlds enjoyable this go around, there's no way in hell that makes it worthwhile to bear witness to the innumerable ways in which this mess of a sequel sullied the already weak foundations laid down by its predecessor. When I had finished that game, I wrote, on impulse, that 'I haven't been this confounded by a sequel's existence since Chrono Cross'. It just… did not need to happen, like, at all.

Nirvana Initiative posed to me one of the worst questions you can have while playing a game, which is…

'Why am I doing this, again?'

Let's be real, it was mostly for the soundtrack. Unlike AI1, this game had passable music! Though having to watch ANOTHER dance number (like half a dozen times, actually! and no, there's no skip button!) just about had me gagging.

That's not even the worst part about that sequence, no - that would have to be the way it almost actively ruins and undermines what's probably the only passable character arc in NI (and even then, you have to squint hard for it to pass your judgement, given how it starts... gotta hand it to this game for managing to have multiple relationships with genuinely questionable setups involving uncomfortable age gaps).

I wanted to feel touched by the new, somewhat expanded narratives, I wanted to see the world grow a little, despite all the grievances I was certain I would have... But not even halfway through the plot, I realized that my true wish was to just move on. I think that's what I'll do here, as well, as even reminiscing on this chaos is quite dreadful.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3 (Switch, 2022) [♪ Agnus Colony]

Don't become prey and victim to your own expectations - or to bad advertising.

Xenoblade is a special series, full of wonder and power. Words fail me this year, as they did the year before, when it comes to describing how much of an impact these games - the second entry most of all, a game I think about now and then with a bittersweetness on my heart that I oddly never can get enough of - had had on my mental well-being last year. They might as well have saved me back then, and while getting to experience them was something I'd been planning to do for a while, the specific circumstances it all had happened under were just so special, so exceptional, so wild, that it's hard to think of those days as anything but a gift.

And yet, there are plenty of things in this particular journey I still have to reconcile with. I never settled on what my impression of 1 is, in the end (or, some might say, I never properly played it); I could use a fresher look at 2, and… I never, ever, will finish Xenoblade Chronicles 3. It's a game I once had hopes for, but nowadays don't ever want to think about.

I thought it a privilege, of sorts - the fact that I was there to witness (and acquire) a brand-new release in a series that became dearly important to me. I ended up hearing many things - the trailers, the rumors, the leaks. They all spoke of a definitive resolution to the series, of levels of refinement never seen before, of intrigue so big you can barely take it, of key character appearances we were all dying to see.

Turns out most of what we were so eagerly expecting came with an extra price tag.

The base game of Xenoblade 3 is a mirage, a mere shade of what came before it. The environments are open and vast, but they look more drab than ever - and with the new autowalk feature, it takes even less time to get sick of it. The music takes you on a journey, but you forget what it sounds like far sooner than you'd prefer. The battle system promises lots of options and a nice learning curve, but it only overextends, overwhelms and forces you to grind. The cutscenes look every bit the part of a Xenoblade story, but meander and stretch things out to the point of boredom, which means none of the characters get enough time to grow on the player, either… Though a lot of them would probably go nowhere even given all the time in the world.

And the setting as a whole? Well, it's a simulation, so who cares about it feeling unique or fun? That's the point, the game says, you're supposed to empathize with these characters breaking out of their bonds, out of this miserable existence! Well, I say that things can be made appealing even in decay. You don't have to actively worsen things to make a point.

Future Redeemed is an impressive demonstration of how things could have been. It fixes practically every point where the base game falters - and it is in this part of the game where all those promises that once seemed hollow finally come true. Sort of. The exploration process is smooth as butter in the way none of the games before were, characters are at last back to having defined roles in battle, and all that teasing becomes a thing of the past as 3 acknowledges its own roots and past in full, and you think to yourself… 'If only we'd got this in the base game all along!'

But we didn't. And the credits on Future Redeemed roll far too soon to truly be satisfied. Is this how you wanted the saga to end?

honorable mentions

Butterfly Soup 2 (PC, 2022) [♪ Night Tourist] *I hope you'll forgive me for not finding a GIF for a mostly static VN...

It's so funny. For me it has been two years; for the creator, it'd been five. But I guess time doesn't matter when it comes to maturity, as I feel like both myself and this game have done plenty of growth. And for that, I love it all the more, just as I am now thankful to be able to call Butterfly Soup a short series.

Compared to the first game, the art is more refined, the tone is more consistent, and treatment of serious topics is more grounded - in more ways than one, this sequel is like a fond, yet melancholic look at what you once had, what changed since then, and what you hope to make of things. But between all that, it stays sincere and silly in the best of ways - the ones that make you feel cozy on the darkest of nights, the ones that endear you for a good while yet. Truly, this game was a ray of light in a sea of mediocrity this year.

Road 96 (PC, 2021) [♪ Hit the Road]

Yeah, I know. The fact that I have played a goddamn walking simulator at the behest of a good pal (who might or might not be reading this, hi on the off chance that you are!) is nothing short of a miracle. Not to mention the fact that I ended up having a good time with it!

I'll put it plain: the vibes of this game are almost impeccable. It wastes little time setting things up - it's the turn of the century, and a massively corrupt government is practically folding in on itself as it closes its borders. It's up to you, as you're literally put into a blank-slate teenager's shoes, to go on a desperate journey and see whether or not you make your way out.

Over the course of Road 96, you do this six times, and the people you meet on the way and choices you make with them may or may not shape not just your own future, but that of the whole country. There's nothing for it, then, but hit the road and see what awaits you, as you sit in a car that's probably stolen, blaring music from your carefully curated tapes… or are dropped off on the wayside with nothing but a paltry backpack to speak of… or find yourself biding your time near a gas station… or… whatever it is the game throws at you, as you hope that the strangers you run into actually deign to help.

Yes, the biggest way this game attempts to stand out is with our good old friend, RNG. Even reading blurbs about it, you cannot escape the all-too-typical claims of 'your own personal journey', 'a thousand unique paths waiting for you' and all that… months later, I find myself unable to decide whether this helped the game or harmed it more, as it's definitely smaller than it makes itself out to be.

As a story hook, this setup is clever and delightful, as I tried to illustrate a moment earlier, but the moment you begin to overthink it, you realize that the randomness aspect clashes hard against the continuity the game tries to establish. You, as the player, indeed learn more about the world and colorful characters in it each time you venture forth, but the avatar you control is supposed to be clueless as ever, setting out on a path that is, in fact, not quite their own any more. It's a weird gripe to have, and I found it an easy one to ignore, but I wish something could be done about it anyway.

As for the rest of the plot, let's just say it's... surprisingly binary, and the supporting cast small and not always compelling in turn. The game sacrifices some of the personal intimacy and uniqueness it has built up to make a sweeping, painfully boring statement of 'freedom good, suppression bad' before credits roll, but as damaging as that is to the overall experience, I feel like one can't deny the fundamental appeal of just being asked to go on a journey with sweeping stakes and truly, truly banging music. Seriously, it was meant to be put on speakers and blasted as the world passes you by!

In a word, Road 96 is ambitious, and in a sentence, it is ambitious, yet falling short of itself. Nonetheless, I was impressed by how it managed to worm its way into my heart for a while.

A Space for the Unbound (PC, 2023) [♪ Don't Have Much Choice]

Wouldn't you know it? I had actually played two games involving entering people's subconsciousness to solve their problems this year!

Truth be told, I'd been looking forward to this game for about a year, given that it was published by the people behind Coffee Talk (which, if you recall, I had quite enjoyed). The warm and inviting screenshots on the back-then almost empty store page, showing off awesome art and promising a sweet little journey with slice-of-life tropes and a mystery waiting to be solved… well, to say all of that was alluring is to say nothing, really. I just about jumped when I received a notification for this game releasing at last at the beginning of the year, and wasted little time trying to dive in.

The sad thing is, what you see is not always what you get. The cozy, comfortable, sensible vibes of the early game - running around the city, doing chores at your school, naming every stray cat you come across, watching the protagonist's diary fill up as he crosses all the little goals he had set in life off his precious list… Yeah, those things won't last - definitely not long enough to get you attached to characters living in this world.

As the plot begins to unfold, it fumbles over itself trying to introduce various cliches and supernatural elements, to the point where you recognize the whole experience as a tedious drag as you see exactly where it's heading, and think to yourself that you have heard all this before. It's yet another heartfelt story about self-actualization, and as the game hammers it in harder than ever before, you sigh and wish you could go back to the times of bottle cap collecting and cat petting. Sometimes, simpler is better.

Unfortunately, that's not exactly true when it comes to actually playing A Space for the Unbound. The gameplay is as simple as can be - basically all you do is walk around (quite slowly) and interact with things. I can appreciate how linear the game is, for the most part, but I wish it let us accomplish our goals without wasting too much time! Not to mention, if you try to see everything there is, you have to be prepared to deal with quite a few mind-numbingly repetitive mini-games for far longer than you have to. Don't do that. It'll just sully your impression of the game.

If you're somehow still interested in this after reading this messy opinion of mine, don't be too discouraged - you'll see plenty of beautiful sights, hear some cute music, and, maybe, be affected by the story far more than I was. (Besides, for a cat lover, it's always nice to see others appreciate them!) Just... try not to waste too much time with the game's superficial sidequests.

Tales of the Abyss (3DS, 2011 port of a 2006 release) [♪ The Distribution Base]

There's something ironic in how playing (most of) this game has been one of the best things I have done with my lovely 2DS since I homebrewed it earlier this year... and yet I quite regret not checking how (ahem) easily available the PS2 version is, instead. They may be functionally identical, but the hardware is not - you have no idea how hard some of the goddamn Mieu Fire puzzles become when your character is taking up a mere four or so pixels of an already tiny screen. Man, that was trying my patience at its finest.

These horrors aside, though, what kind of game are we even dealing with here? Well, it’s a Tales game first and foremost. I can’t deny claims that Abyss has a few strengths of its own (most notably, of course, actually bothering to have coherent character development arcs), but it’s not quite enough to obscure the ever-prevalent issues this series has:

exploration and side-questing is still annoyingly obtuse, not to mention traversal is painfully slow in the first half of the game,

some characters (in this case, Anise more so than others, but I'd argue Mieu's whole existence is part of this too) are obligated to suffer because Tales has to meet its unhealthy anime tropes\wackiness quota per game,

the skit system has not, unfortunately, evolved one bit (the amount of times I would skip a skit on accident, because any input halts its playback entirely…),

while I’m inclined to say the battle system is, for the most part, an improvement (the Field of Fonons mechanic is quite a nice change given the foundations of Tales gameplay, I have to admit), any goodwill you might want to give it gets shattered when you realize Free Run breaks bosses in half. And aside from that, it’s just your usual button-mashy fare.

So why did I push on with this game as far as I did, pulling the classic move of quitting right at the final boss instead of, well, any earlier? A lot of that is because I was just in the mood to mash some buttons in bed until I realized I was slightly underleveled for the finale and caught myself groaning at the mere thought of trying to even cheese it. A shame, that, because the ending of this game is pretty wonderful for what it set out to do, and it was the only bit I did not see on my own. It's like my experience with Final Fantasy VI all over again…

That's not all there is to it, though. Abyss has some of what's probably the most involved and curious worldbuilding (once you get past all the awkward made up jargon it loves to throw at you) of any Tales game I know! Not that this says much, because that's a low bar, and I'm not too familiar with the series at large, but it was enough to keep me engaged for a long while. And, as mentioned earlier, it puts in greater efforts than I expected to endear you to the cast as they slowly band together and uncover their own talents, purposes and aims in life - Luke in particular.

I liked him almost immediately - because I'm not too hard to please when it comes to this series, and his design is, I feel, particularly sweet and striking (especially given how nicely the game used the Important Haircut trope with him, and of course, the contrast between him and Asch). But that alone doesn't a good protagonist make - it's the fact that the story allows Luke to make mistakes (from small ones to straight-up catastrophes), get his comeuppance and grow from them organically, at his own pace, that makes him stand out in my mind.

As Luke sheds his sheltered ways of thought and accepts his responsibilities, those that were traveling with him, either out of obligation or by chance, begin to support him more and stand by him in earnest. It all comes together gradually and at a satisfying pace, and is definitely a highlight of the experience to me.

Growth and connection are probably among the biggest themes of the game, so it's nice to see that it applies pretty much equally to both protagonists and antagonists. Sure, it's the job of a Tales' Big Bad faction to be goofy and up to nefarious activities, but beyond that, the group has solid enough chemistry both among themselves and with the party that I actually ended up looking forward to most encounters with them, even if ultimately it felt a little predictable. As an aside, for a game this old, the voice acting was really good and plentiful (though there is none for skits, which sucks), and further piqued my interest in the story along the way.

To conclude, I'd like to say that the biggest thing I learned while playing this game is that I'm a sucker for grounded tales of (ha) self-actualization even this many years later. And also that once you play one Tales game, you truly, to some extent, know them all.

SANABI (PC, 2023) [♪ Warm Hospitality]

Do you want to know why I ended up playing this one? Of course you do, that wasn't really a question. I only bring this up because the answer can be revealed with a single screenshot:

...yep, the inspiration is that blatantly on display. I was expecting it, of course - the Katana ZERO community is the only reason I know of SANABI in the first place, and even as you read people's thoughts on it, the extreme similarity is practically all they ever bring up, be it in a positive or negative light. It pleased me and warmed my heart, while also making me feel wary - it's one thing to be inspired by something, and another to actually carve an identity of your own.

That said, KZ is far from the worst thing to try to replicate, particularly when it comes to visuals - SANABI has some awesome scenery that makes me feel right at home. And while the story at times feels so much like an amateurish copy that it leaves me confused more than anything (I'm sure the awkward English translation sadly does not help matters, not to mention the fact that I'd played this game in an unfinished state - you might expect me to write about it again next year!), the gameplay is anything but.

I'm sure there are quite a few platformers out there that have you use what's essentially a grappling hook to swing through the stages, but SANABI is my first experience with something like this, and in this regard the game absolutely manages to shine on its own. Movement is lightning-fast and responsive, enemy targeting is extremely generous - almost to the point of being handholdy (and, of course, they all die in one satisfying hit - as do you, if you set the game to the highest difficulty. It's nice to be given an opportunity to learn the ropes before engaging with the game earnestly!), and there's something to be said about how the level design has that extreme kind of clarity to it that I always appreciate and favors speed over precision, with how spacious everything is.

My only big issues with how the game plays are how it doesn't seem to be designed with a controller in mind (it is an option, but I found myself moving much more precisely with KBM! Me! Someone who never plays games with that!), and, once again, the just-a-bit-too-long death animation\transition. Being able to skip it helps, but I just yearn for no time to be wasted...

Spoilers for this week’s episode of Stargirl!

Well then. You won't want to read this review before watching the episode, so it's behind a cut just in case.

Everything's coming up roses for the Crocks, and their lives are going great. They're happy, integrating into the community, and starting to feel like they belong. They feel protective of the Whitmores and are not happy about the Mahkents' actions last episode, but note that they don't solve their problems with violence anymore, and Paula defends Barbara from Lily Mahkent's attempt on her life by calmly threatening but not actually killing her. Later, the Crocks go to the Mahkents' house and speak to them as friends of their son, saying that violence only breeds more feuds and asking them to make peace with the Whitmores/JSA for the sake of the community and Cameron. Sofus agrees, and Lily is clearly thinking about it even if not necessarily on board, and she later sobs with Sofus about missing Jordan.

So as you can see, the Crocks have taken the example of their friends to heart, and they've changed. Nobody had asked them to speak to the Mahkents, much less with a message of peace, and even though they're clearly willing to protect their friends, they didn't go after their foes with aggression. Then they get the great news that Artemis has been accepted into the university of her choice, which of course thrills them; whatever you may say about them throughout the course of this series, they've always been supportive loving parents. And then someone lures them into the sewers and they go down there despite knowing something's hinky, and they get frozen by Jordan Mahkent, their former colleague Icicle Sr. They die together saying they love each other, and Jordan smashes them into pieces. Fuuuuuuuck, I knew they were going to get killed when they got the good news from Artemis, but was really hoping it wouldn't happen.

Maybe Jordan's working with the Ultra-Humanite, and maybe he's not. I'd think they must be working together, and the episode hints at different times that the Ultra-Humanite is the Gambler's killer (has super-strength and has gone by many names) or that the killer is Jordan (creepy dude hiding in the sewers with all those video monitors, and has breathing problems). I'd been wondering since second season whether Jordan would ever reconstitute himself like Iceman does at Marvel, and then last week decided that wasn't likely since the show is cancelled and the Ultra-Humanite was revealed as a major villain. Well played.

Interestingly, Sylvester's good advice regarding the Ultra-Humanite suggests that if there is a connection between the two of them, he doesn't seem to be aware of it. It's very possible the U-H is manipulating him from a distance, but maybe this has all been a red herring the whole time and Sylvester's just a screw-up. Guess we'll see. I like that he and Pat immediately knew who Jakeem and Mike were talking about rather than drawing it out as a big mystery, and the revelation clearly disturbed them. And I like that the show is going with the whole bonkers comic backstory of the U-H instead of dumbing it down or seeming embarrassed about it.

Mike and Jakeem do find Cindy, and it turns out that she's trying to capture the Ultra-Humanite since he was an experiment of her father's. She's not interested in their help though, and tells them to go back to town.

And Courtney talks to Cameron, who's less unreasonable than expected but is clearly still hurting a lot. His grandmother Lily had told him to kill Courtney earlier, but he doesn't seem to want to. He demands to know who killed his dad, and Courtney lies to protect Mike and says she did it. Cameron tells her he never wants to see her again, which really is quite reasonable given the circumstances. He does acknowledge that his father wasn't completely noble, which is unexpected, but doesn't believe Jordan was a villain and probably wouldn't believe her if she told him what he'd actually been up to.

Sofus is out of the hospital after his heart attack but still not well, and Cameron realizes that Beth had helped and that's probably why he doesn't completely turn on the JSA. Pat and Sylvester go talk to Sofus when he's home alone, and he's somewhat conciliatory but defensive about what his family has done. The Mahkents did face persecution for their ice powers in Norway, and it's made them insular, suspicious, and protective of each other…plus, he's upset about the killing of Jordan even if he's not the hardass Lily is. I find him the most interesting member of the family because of his ambiguity.

So the Crocks' ending is horribly sad, but at least they'd learned to do the right thing before they died. That'll be no comfort to poor Artemis, though, who really has been through a lot over the past couple of years. I'm worried that she may never know what happened to her parents unless Jordan brags about what he's done. I'll miss Paula's blooming friendship with Barbara and how protective Paula was of her friend, and hope that Artemis doesn't end up too embittered by this tragedy to realize her football dreams or work with the JSA.

Great episode, and definitely has me wondering where it'll go next. We need answers about how the Ultra-Humanite might be currently connected to the other characters, and what exactly his plan is. Jordan's probably after revenge, but he might have other things in mind too, and it'll be interesting to see how his family members react to his return and whatever he's up to. Cameron might finally turn against him if he gets a whiff of how cruel Jordan can be, and he won't be happy about his art teacher's murder if he ever learns about that. So there's still plenty of tension brewing and ready to boil over.

Terry wakes up with a hangover, “where’s beloved?” He wonders. He notices blood stains on their bedroom wall, the floor, and even their bed. There are several items of furniture smashed and broken. “Did I do this?” He remembers flashes of him throwing things, throwing beloved, hurting beloved… he was having PTSD about ‘Nam, and he took it out on her. After scouring the mansion he finally finds her over a bloody sink. She asks “why do you hate me?” (Which is far from true)- Terry’s reaction?

The sadist in him is piqued by the blood and the carnage, especially paired with beloved. Beloved is beautiful. So is the gore. The cold, calculative part of him wants to admonish with a brisk 'I told you so. I told you to stay away. Now look what happened.' Let sleeping dogs lie and all that crap. Beloved made their rest too close to the snake den and beloved got bitten in their own bed. The person who loves inside of him? That person might just be taken aback by what he has done. Terry has lost control and Terry loathes losing control, especially over something he innately has carried inside of himself all of his life; the trauma and the leftovers from the war. His weaknesses. Worst yet is because if this was anyone else, he wouldn't have an ounce of regret, in fact, he'd might relish in what he can do to others. Ways in which he can hurt them (and laugh in their face). But, this is someone he profoundly cares about. Terry in the 80's might conceal his panic by being pushy and very adamantly trying to help with beloved's state, not taking no far an answer, alerting his staff, making phone calls, picking up beloved by force, if need be, to get them patched up, not caring if beloved kicks and screams. This is for their own good. He will fix the state he caused. Twig might just stare at the sight, wide-eyed in shock, practically shaking. Everything's his fault, everything's his fault, everything, everything, everything --- he should've died in that cage. He didn't deserve to be saved. Terry as an old man?

Now, he has had therapy, and a remission period, and three decades to settle down from his habits (only to fall back into them), but he is possibly most likely to actually chastise himself over what he's done. Most likely to develop an odd sense of masochism, I envision. Most likely to get drunk in grief. Most likely to ram himself and his fist into a wall and hurt himself --- hurt someone else. Most likely to lose even more control and do something horrendous. Most likely to come back to beloved, rambling, clearly upset, haunted and disheveled.

And then, when this period of chaos passes, I can see Terry shedding his skin and regaining composure. He's contemplative. Gloomy. Dark. He doesn't hate beloved. He adores beloved. If he hated beloved, or was simply indifferent to their existence, things would be simple. He'd send them along their merry way, ignore them, dismiss them like something meddlesome and scrap them from his life --- after all, look what they made him do!? But, no. They stay. With him. They must. They belong to him. Is there anywhere they could go where he wouldn't absolutely follow? It is never spoken, but I legitimately imagine the mansion closing rank after the little...incident. Staff are instructed to do it. Security is probably instructed to do it. Beloved is not to leave him, because if they do, I think he understands he will irrevocably lose his mind and never be free again. This is like the sole few shreds of sanity he has. Next time he gets the urge --- that awakening killer instinct --- he'll simply hurt someone else instead and have beloved watch. It's an homage to them, he thinks. His love letter to them. This must never be you again, the gesture says. I'd rather bring pain to the whole world and everyone in it than you.

couch day

It doesn't get to happen much anymore, and that's probably for the best, but every so often, a day with crappy weather and no plans is the perfect day to become the couch. I had an inkling that last Sunday was primed to be a couch day and guarded the blank space on my google cal fiercely. Preparations needed to be made: supplies laid in for the cooking of breakfast, a quick house tidying-up so the prospect of spending all day inside wouldn't be perverted by clutter.

I saw so much live music this past week — Viagra Boys and their openers Kills Birds; Smashing Pumpkins, Jane's Addiction and Poppy; King Gizzard with black midi; and then six hours of DIY rock music put on by Friendship Quest Booking that I also filmed. A lot of sonic energy to absorb and a long time spent on my feet! I also got some strange news related to my current job that was displeasing but also a relief. Meanwhile the weather turned from sunny 60s perfection to a gray wet vibe. Lots of energy was swirling in the air and it was time to hide from it inside.

After knocking out an episode of Infinite Cast, the next order of the day was Minions Brunch. Minions Brunch as a tradition started whenever the first Minions movie came out on streaming (early 2016?) when I insisted we watch the movie at home and also eat brunch. If I recall correctly, the first Minions Brunch's food was a giant potato and egg skillet. This time we did pancakes, to christen the griddle pan that was one of our registry gifts. Griddle pan: perfect registry gift. Just this side of useful, and every time it is used, it will be remembered specifically as a registry gift, containing all the warm memories and latent stress of that wedding season. Oh and the maple syrup we used was also a wedding gift. It's truly abbondanza season at the Wade-O'Brien household.

Minions 2 was actually kind of a banger (eating an edible helped of course). Without the help of something like I Love The '70s, it'll take a movie like Minions 2 to transfer 1970s pop cultural and aesthetic knowledge to the next generation. Tupperware parties, rotary phones, avocado-colored wallpaper, you get the idea. Also I made Chris rewind an action scene because at the very end of it, there was a shot with a huge fluffy dog being walked way in the background and I just couldn't get over it. What a nice bit of scenic texture, totally unnecessary and yet extremely necessary for me, a stoned, dog-loving woman.

We followed up that movie with two more movies about how familial loyalty and organizational obligations are difficult to square with personal desires: The Princess Diaries and The Godfather: Part II. The day melted into a sludge of comfort, and then the comfort became so comfortable that it turned into discomfort with that comfort, as happens inevitably on all couch days.

At one point I paused a movie to talk to my mom on the phone about the work developments I'd been experiencing and she pointed out how I'm in a different stage in my life where said work developments did not have the power to destabilize me the way they did if they happened in, say, my early twenties, and how that was a great accomplishment. This is the Power of Moms: at their best, they have a perspective on your development even more robust than your own, because they've got their entire life experience from before they dragged you out of the womb to draw from, plus they've been watching your sorry ass fall down and get back up again Chumbawamba-style for decades. I bow down to Mom Power. Very humbling, very correct.

The weirdest part of a couch day is when you go to bed, moving from a horizontal position on one piece of furniture to an even more horizontal position on a different piece of furniture. It feels wrong, and yet right. Like I always say, you gotta power down to power up, and now I am ready to spent the last bit of "Q4" going balls 2 the wall.

back stabber pt. 2

❦ pairings: sirius black x fem!reader

❦ warnings: kinda angst and fluff, making out, swearing, hint of a smut at the end.

❦ word count:

❦ a/n: not my gif. i also want to thank you all for the support you showed at the part 1. i love you vsgsvsvvwvs.

pt. 1

"i just don't understand," you sobbed with your head on lily's lap. "did i do something wrong, guys? mary probably slept with sirius as a revenge, don't you think? didn't i perhaps accidentically make fun of or something?"

dorcas sighed. "i don't think it's your fault, y/n, stop blaming yourself. and even if you did make fun of her, i don't believe mary's cruel enough to do this as revenge for something silly like that. if you ever offended me, i would do the same to you and not sleep with your partner or someone you like. there must be something else."

"i think your speech didn't calm her nerves down, love," said marlene. "especially the 'there must be something else'."

dorcas looked at you with apologetic smile. "i'm sorry."

"don't be." you waved it off and sat down, your head leaving the ginger's lap and you wiped your tears away. "it's mary who should be sorry and i expect to receive an apology and explanation as soon as possible." you paused. "well, not actually as soon as possible. i need to cool down first or i'll smash her head against the nearest wall."

lily only nodded, she has been quiet for this past hour. probably because she didn't have anything appropriate to say. no matter how mad you were at mary, she was also lily's friend and you didn't want them to stop being friends only because of you.

lily wanted to drag mary here by the girl's ear, but you refused. if mary wouldn't come here with an apology and an explanation, then she didn't value your friendship that much as you thought.

lily didn't think before she spoke. "if someone knew i like james and then slept with him, i'd turn into a devil."

your eyes widened. you knew that you should focus on the 'i'd turn into a devil', but there was 'i like james'.

"did you just-"

there was a knock on the door.

"come in," shouted lily and the door opened, revealing james, making the ginger girl blush.

potter's face saddened at the sight of yours. "may i talk to you?"

"sure." you shrugged. you then stood up, turned to lily and said "we'll talk about this later" before following james out of the room, closing the door behind you so you two could have privacy.

"so-"

"sirius fancies you," he cut you off before you could say anything else. "like a lot."

you froze when you heard those words escaping the boy's lips and you stared at him in confusion. so lily wasn't lying after all. not that you thought a loyal friend like her could ever lie to you but you weren't sure she was correct about everything.

james snapped his fingers in front of your face. "hello? earth to y/n. love, are you alright?"

"eh, just confused," you said. "if he fancies me, then why-"

"he sort of gave up on you," james explained. "i know. i was suprised as much as you are, believe me. i guess he matured enough to realize that you may not be interested in him so he let you go, thinking it's the best for both you and him. i never thought i'd see this day. it's weird though. he fancies you since like fourth year, he always flirted with you and annoyed you until you hexed him and suddenly. . . he just. . . i don't know."

"but i don't want sirius to give up on me. i am interested in him, james, i love him." shit. you were screwed up.

james seemed to be shocked at your words and so were you. "wow, well, i didn't expect that, but alright."

"james," you spoke. "what's the point of this conversation?"

"there's something you don't know, y/n," said janes softly. "something that could help you realize why mary did what she did." you raised an eyebrow, signalizing for him to continue. "their first hook-up was at the end of june. at that huge party in gryffindor common room."

"but i told lily, marlene and mary i like sirius that night. . ."

he nodded. "i'm getting there. she told you that you shouldn't go after him later that night, right? because he was kind of a manwhore. ." you hummed. "she also told you that you should go after someone else. you ended up making out with that hufflepuff guy."

"yeah, jake watson." you remembered. "i still don't know where are you going with this."

"mary liked that guy," said james. you opened your mouth to say something but he was quick enough to cut you off. "when she saw you and him, she got upset and she remembered you like sirius, who, by the way, got mad at jake for making out with you because sirius wanted to be him. don't ask me how did mary and sirius end up in one room, fucking each other's brains out because i don't know and i don't think i will ever want to know."

"but mary told me i should snog jake!" you exclaimed.

james sighed. "that was dorcas."

"shit," you cursed under your breath. "i should go apologize." you were about to walk away but stopped yourself quickly. "wait, it's not my fault. i didn't know mary likes jake, therefore i have nothing to apologized for. mary, however, slept with sirius, knowing, i, also known as her bestfriend, like him. so she's the one who should beg for forgiveness, not me."

• • •

"i didn't know that," said lily after you told them about your conversation with james. you gave her a look, not believeing that lily didn't know something. "i'm serious, y/n, i didn't know."

at that moment, not bothering to knock, as it was her dorm as well, mary walked into the room with guilty expression on her face.

marlene, dorcas and lily looked at each other. as if they had their own language you didn't understand, they all stood up and made their way out of the room. you watched them in desbelief before muttering "traitors".

and then only you and mary were in the room. there was a very uncomfortable and an awkward silence between you two. mary seemed to think about something, probably of the words that will soon leave her lips.

the girl sat on your bed. "look, i-"

"no wait," you stopped her quickly and took a deep breath. "this afternoon, i wanted to confess to sirius about how i feel because lily finally gave me the courage to do so after having none for almost two years. i couldn't wait to finally tell him everything because i was sure that he fancies – or loves – me too. when i saw you two naked in the same fucking bed, i hoped that it was a stupid nightmare. when i realized it wasn't, i felt a sharp pain in my chest. as if you stole that large knife from the kitchens and stabbed me with it – keep stabbing me while ripping my heart out of my body. that's exactly how i felt because you betrayed me. you knew i loved sirius and you still decided to sleep with him just because you were horny! just because i kissed a guy, who i didn't know you liked!"

mary sighed, surprised at your outburst. "james told you."

you nodded. "he did. if he didn't, i would still be crying my eyes out with my head on lily's lap, not knowing what i did for you to hate me so much to do this."

"no, you didn't do anything wrong, y/n." mary wanted to put her hand on your shoulder but you moved it out of her reach. she understood and moved her hand away. "i was just very angry seeing your tongue in jake's throat. i was angry, drunk and, as you said, horny. i'm so so so sorry. i don't expect you to forgive me so soon."

you forced out a laugh. "believe me, i wasn't even thinking about doing that."

"just do me a favor," she spoke softly. "come to the astronomy tower at midnight. you will not regret."

• • •

you didn't know why you were doing mary a favor because she should be the one doing a favor for you but here you were; in the dark halls of hogwarts, hoping that none of the prefects – or worse: professors – will catch you. if they did, you'd simply pretend you are sleepwalking.

you thought that lighting the tip of your wand would be too risky so the only source of light for you was the moon that lit the halls slightly through the windows.

thankfully, you were very close to the stairs to the tower. a few moments later, you finally arrived there and walked up the stairs, cold night wind hitting your body as you drew closer.

you weren't blind and you saw sirius. he was sitting on the ground, his back leaning against a column.

you walked closer to him. there were barely two meters between you two.

"what are you doing here?" you asked. he didn't seem startled by your sudden presence. as if he knew you were coming.

"same as you," he answered, not looking at you. "mary threatened me to cut my dick off. i'm not going to give you the details of what she said – it's quite disgusting. and i didn't want to risk it."

you raised an eyebrow in amusement. "are you saying that if mary hadn't threatened you, you wouldn't come here?"

the boy looked at you with wide eyes. "no," he said quickly. "i mean – that's not what i meant. i would come here either way but i was just nervous. . ."

"nervous?" you chuckled, sitting beside him and he nodded. "i don't believe that, black? you and nervous?"

"i know. it's unbelieveable, but it's true. i hate to admit it, y/l/n, but you do, in fact, make me nervous."

you were thankful for the darkness, because he couldn't see how flushed you were. you didn't say anything and looked in front of you at the beautiful moon. you felt a pair of light blue eyes on you, making your cheeks become even more red than they already were.

"stop staring," you spoke quietly, not sure if he even had heard you.

"i'm not staring," he answered. "i'm admiring.

oh, god.

"cheesy." you rolled your eyes but then smiled, letting him know that you actually liked him being cheesy. your face then grew serious. "do you like me?"

"like you?" he scoffed. "of course, i do. i think you are the most amazing woman in hogwarts – in the whole world. i don't know what you did to make me feel like this about you. there's something about you that i absolutely love. it's not your looks, though i love them. i guess it's your personality. you are an incredibly kind soul, and i love how hard to get you play."

you shrugged and then swung your leg over his lap so you were straddling him. "i'm not playing anything right now, sirius."

he placed one of his hands on your hip and the other on your face as you wrapped your arms around his neck. before you could do anything else, he brought your lips to his and kissed you passionately. you gasped and he took the advantage of it, entering your mouth with his tongue.

you moved your hips and he moaned, gripping your waist more tightly as you repeated the movements, groans escaping his lips immediately.

"you're going to be the death of me," he whispered.

you didn't know if the goosebumbs were from his words or from the cold wind. however, you knew you were cold.

"wanna take this into the common room, pretty boy?"

he nodded.

tags:

i had problems tagging some of you, sorry!!!!!!

@barbiekatz @undeniableadrenaline @scorpireads @auggie2000 @rikitaiyaki @thatblackhufflepuff @prada-cat @dee-yana @strawberrysodaslut

Alternate timeline where Meta Knight is mistaken for the hero of the lower world, and Dedede gets mechanized by Haltmann Co. How would the climaxes of Triple Deluxe and Robobot play out?

That's an interesting role-switch! If I may, I want to ramble how that would affect entire plots of both games, because, I feel like both of these characters aren't TOO interchangeable for both premises to play out exactly the same.

Triple Deluxe

Meta Knight would likely not get captured, because he doesn't seem to have any sort of fear of bugs, therefore Taranza wouldn't be able to catch him off guard like he did with Dedede.

Therefore, Meta Knight and Kirby would team up together to go upwards to Dreamstalk purely out of curiosity of why said attack even happened to begin with. Taranza would realize that he done fucked up and tries to run away from them to warn the queen, but the duo will always manage to catch up and he would have to try to stop them with those classic Triple Deluxe bosses as per usual. When we reach Royal Road we would have to face against Meta Knight which Taranza briefly managed to get under control. Of course, this is futile and Kirby helps him out and breaks him away from Taranza's magic. After that everything plays out similarly to the actual final game, with few notable differences. Cannon section will probably be entirely different, since I see no reason on why Meta wouldn't want to fly out and try to slash those buds with galaxia, considering he literally has wings and he is about as big as Kirby. Meta then frees Kirby from Sectonia's vines thanks to his tornado attack instead of a hammer smack.

I don't think anything else would change, considering both Meta and Dedede are heroes in their own right, so their actions in the climax would parallel each other, with main difference being their approach to heroics.

Planet Robobot

Robobot is interesting, because, provided Susie is completely unchanged otherwise, I think she wouldn't have too much interest in Dedede compared to Meta Knight. She seems to have certain affinity for swordsmen in particular. Plus, Dedede, unlike Meta, isn't as impulsive so he wouldn't go out and try fight off entire army on his own if there are alternative options. So I feel like HWC would capture him as early as the intro cutscene and Kirby's goal would be similar to TDX's where he clearly knows that one of his friends is kidnapped so he goes out to save them as well as free the planet from the Invasion. Let's make it so he wakes up from the noise of the flying cage Dedede put into that leads into HWC Labs.

I'd assume he would become something like Mecha Masked Dedede and due to Susie's affinity for swordsmen she decides that "hammers are too barbaric, compared to the elegance of sword fighting" so she forcibly gives Dedede a laser saber. After we beat him, he falls off the arena shocking Kirby with Susie expressing general disinterest "Oh, I guess even Mother Computer can't teach barbarians of these planet some proper manners. Ciao" and leaves, leaving Kirby and the player for a while to believe that Dedede is done for. In the climax any analogue for Mecha Knight+ fight is absent, we instead fight Haltmann right away.

After Star Dream hijacks Haltmann's body and soul, everything plays out similarly up until instead of the Halberd, what shows up is KABULA! It is Dedede's ship, after all. Revealing that he is not dead at all and he spent all the time in his absence to repair it just in time to help out Kirby! Of course, Dedede does shocked expression as he realizes that instead of jumping into Kabula, Robobot armor absorbs it instead, giving us Kabula mode.

Fight against Star Dream would play out similarly to Halberd mode counterpart, but the way it segways into final sequence is completely different. There is no lever for Dedede to pull. So he does the climax move, gives Kirby a lift with his hammer. With all his strength he smash the Robobot armor with Kirby out of Kabula and on highest speeds he manages to pierce through Star Dream.

Both Dedede and Kirby is later saved by Meta Knight who picked them up with Halberd.

Hi Tumblrinos!

I made a gif this afternoon to relax so I thought I'd drop in to write something.

I haven't updated in a bit, but lots has been going on. It is all whiny first world problems, so feel free to ignore me.

I moved recently, which was exciting, terrifying, stressful and everything. It was not a great experience on my anxiety, since we had hired movers, and one of them was just hell-bent on dropping my fragile items, to the point where one of my teapots did get smashed (luckily not one of the antique ones).. Anyways, the rest of the movers did an amazing job, so we still gave them an awesome tip, but instead of leaving a bad review, I called the company to let them know that one of their staff members had let them down. He appreciated my approach for sure and everything there was all smoothed over.

Now we get into the house part. The previous owners apparently didn't realize that they had to leave the place in the same condition it was from when we viewed it, and they took down the shelves that we had liked (previously bolted to the walls). It wouldn't be such a big deal, but they didn't repair the walls from the removal of the shelves. Just left terribly half-assed patch marks that weren't sanded or painted to match the walls. The walls are a medium charcoal colour in some places. The patches are white. We tried to contact them through their realtor, but the realtor is ignoring the problem, so now we are contacting our lawyer. I really hate being this bitchy, but it will be a lot of work to fix these walls and we can't start fixing them ourselves until we resolve it.

I really want to love our house, but it is just so much still to be fixed until we are officially moved in and comfortable. The stove is actually broken, so we are using a hotplate and microwave to cook our meals for the time being. The fridge is old and makes clunky noises all the time too, so we did think ahead and order some new appliances, but they were backordered and are delayed until October. Same with our furniture. We ordered a new sectional sofa for the living room in June, but it is delayed as well.

I just can't get settled. My wife loves it here, but everything is putting me on edge. I don't want to be like this. We should be counting every blessing we have in these terrible times, but I just am so insecure about living here.

It doesn't help that every moment I am not sleeping or cooking dinner on the hotplate I am working either at my day job or my contract work. I do now have my own office space for it now, but I'm always in my office. I have been doing maybe 15 hours of contract work weekly these days, which means around 3 hours extra a day or so after an 8 hour day. I'm getting burnt out. This long weekend alone I spent probably 15 hours on this big last minute project, which I didn't want to do. I wanted the weekend to myself and my wife to get to know our new neighbourhood, maybe do a bit more unpacking or organizing. I don't even know if we need the money. I guess it is necessary since we had to replace so much stuff here, but I have such a hard time saying no on these projects that I just do them anyways, even if I had other plans or didn't need the money at all.

Sorry for dumping. I just needed to get some of this out. I feel like I'm such a rotten person for complaining that my house isn't nice enough or I am getting more than enough money or whatever. I just have to remind myself that I deserve to be happy and I don't have to compare my life with someone else's in order to see if my misery is justified.

Anyways, I hope you all are well, happy and calm.

xoxo Barachiki.

Home (Yandere x Reader)

Word count: ~2100

“I can’t believe I wrote this.” Muttered a quiet voice in the dark.

“I mean, this is so repetitive and boring!” Exclaimed the figure in the dark, obscured by a blanket thrown over herself, light from her device creating a silhouette visible from the window. Not like anyone would see, or at least that was what you thought.

However, you were very wrong, as unbeknownst to you, a male sat right outside your window. He was cloaked in shadows and a hoodie, while wearing a grin on his face. As the unknown male peered through your window, you got out of the tent of sheets and walked out of your room to the hall.

“Now’s my chance” muttered your stalker with a chuckle, as he started picking the your window lock.

You stood in your bathroom, brushing your teeth, when you heard a noise come from your room, shaking, you put your toothbrush back and went inside to investigate.

“Hello?” You called out, your voice cracking. Your feet felt like they were freezing on the floorboards.

“I have a weapon you know!” You shouted, trying to intimidate whatever had intruded your house. You did in fact have a weapon,  which meant if worse came to worse, you could probably fight back.

You opened your bedroom door, heart pumping so hard it resonated through your whole body, only to find... Nothing unusual.

You searched through any places that an intruder could hide, behind your cabinets, behind your door, under your bed, and now your closet, the only place left, you had already armed yourself with a kitchen knife and a torch, and with a deep breath you swung open the tall door.

You gasped as you saw a man in front of you, he gave you a smile as you froze up, and spoke with a sickly sweet voice,

“Aww, you found me, babe!” He stepped out of your racks of clothes, revealing his tall, looming figure and something in his hands.

You tried to run, use your weapon, do anything, but fear had petrified you to your spot, and now you were being held down by the man as he held that thing in his hands to your mouth. You realised only too late that it was a chloroform rag as you started to fall unconscious. “Shhhh,” He hushed.

“It’s going to be alright...”

///

“Hey baby, I was wondering when you’d wake up!” Exclaimed a voice from... somewhere.

Yoy couldn’t seem to see until you had blinked a bit, but even then you disregarded the voice and tried to stretch your arms, trying to shake off the tendrils of sleepiness. But to your horror you couldn’t move your arms much at all. You looked around to try and find the cause of it, when you spotted that man from last night sitting at the edge of what was definitely not your bed.

"Did he actually kidnap me?" You thought, your mind started racing with questions, "What’s he going to do to me?" "Am I going to die?" "Why me?" Your thoughts were cut off though as he spoke again.

“Are you ignoring me babe?” He asked,

“You know that won’t end well. For either of us.” He whispered in your ear, causing goose bumps to erupt over your neck.

“Why am I here?” You squeaked out, holding back tears. The man noticed your fear and started rubbing your cheek despite your obvious discomfort, “You’re here," He paused, "Because I love you.”

“W-what?” You gasped out.

“I have loved you since we first met, in seventh grade, you helped me out all the time!”

“Remember?”

He stared at you expectantly, but you couldn’t remember him, you graduated a year ago, but you'd suppressed those memories long ago.

The man looked familiar though, not with a comforting sense of familiarity, instead with a deep seeded fear, like he’d been responsible for the ‘incident' at the end of seventh grade.

“You don’t remember me?” He asked her, his voice shaky and uneven. You were just about to answer when he’d started screaming,

“You fucking bitch! How could you forget me! We’re soulmates, or are you too much of a whore to remember that?”

All of his shouting had driven you to the point of tears, not like you weren't probably already going to cry. You had tried to hold them back but they flowed across your cheeks as you sobbed quietly, willing your captor to not notice them in fear of being hurt.

“I’m sorry...” He stated calmly, although you could hear his heavy breaths, and stared into your eyes as he started to stroke through your hair. You thought of slapping his hand away but thought of the consequences, and that you couldn’t move your hands.

“I should of known you'd forgotten, seventh grade was pretty traumatic." He sighed, but you felt like he was involved in that trauma.

“I guess I should reintroduce myself then,” He added, with a peck to your blotchy red cheek.

“My name’s Blake.”

“And you babe, helped me out when no one else would!” He shifted off the bed and grabbed a photo album, “Every single day I was tormented by those fucking bastards,” He seemingly struggled to keep his voice level.

“But you always saved me afterwards!” He added with a wide smile and opened up the album to a page full of photos of you, some were from behind, some were seemingly consensual, and others had been taken while you were asleep, and all of them made you incredibly uncomfortable.

You decided to just nod along.

“Did you ever even question why everyone hated me?”

“N-no.”

Blake chuckled and answered. “All of them made a fit just because I followed you home one day,” You felt bile crawl up your throat as your stomach began to turn.

“I was only following you to protect you from those creeps!”

“But, y’ know I taught them all a lesson babe.”

Blake's words had proved exactly what you were dreading.

He’d been responsible for the 'incident' in seventh grade.

///

I stood in front of the school bathroom mirror, freshening up before I’d head out with my boyfriend, or whatever we were now.

I'd confessed to him yesterday and he said he’d liked me too, although not as long as I had, so we'd decided to date.

After about five minutes I finished brushing my hair for the third time today and headed outside the main gate to meet him, but he wasn’t there.

After standing there and looking in every direction, I checked my phone; nothing.

I sent him a text:

where r u???

Sent

I waited ten minutes for a reply, but nothing, not even a ‘seen’. I started to search around, asking the kids who where still hanging around if they’d seen him. A group of them said they’d seen him following another dude through the hall,

“Great,” I thought, “he’s just gonna cop out on me before the first date.”

I figured I should at least find him and tell him my frustration if he wasn’t going to read my texts, so I headed towards the gym, presumably where one of his team members had probably dragged him off to.

As I walked through the hall towards the gym I heard a strange noise; Something muffled.

I quietly stepped towards the door it was coming from, the storage closet, and listened.

“So what did you drag me here for?” Someone asked.

“You took something from me,” Someone else answered back.

“What did I take?” The first person asked, the smugness feeling very familiar.

“YOU FUCKING KNOW!” Roared back the other person. Fearing things were gonna get ugly, I tried to open the door but it wouldn’t budge. I looked around for anyone, but the halls were empty. It must’ve been way past the end bell now so the only people left were in their clubs.

I had one choice: to try stop this while I could.

I prepared myself and rammed the door with my shoulder with all my strength.

First try; it didn’t budge.

Second try; Something smashed in the closet.

Third try; if this didn’t work I’d need to go get help.

But thankfully, it did.

But I wouldn't be so thankful soon.

Just as the door busted open, I saw it. The beaten body of my boyfriend and a tall, dark figure grasping a baseball bat hunched over him.

I tried to reach out to him but the man grabbed my wrist, twisted it, and pushed me to the ground. Through the pain I held back tears as I tried to get up, but what I saw next had me begging for the blurry censorship my tears provided.

I got up, but before I ran for someone to break this up, I tried to punch this psycho while he resumed to beating my boyfriend to a pulp with his bat.

Instead however, he turned right around as my fist collided with his back and struck my shins with his bat, the residual pain keeping me on my knees after the initial strike.

“No, no, you’re gonna watch this,” A voice too deranged to recognise muttered.

He continued to senselessly beat the barely alive mess of flesh, blood and bone that was once my boyfriend into a pulp.

“It’s all for you after all.”

///

“No! No no no no no!” You cried in shock and terror.

“Oh, but yes!” He replied in a mockingly jolly tone, “You have no idea how fucking great it felt to crush that insect of a boyfriend!” He added, licking his lips and thinking with a nostalgic look on his face.

“Just... Why?”

“Why? Isn’t it obvious?”

“I told you already; I love you.”

“I just want you all to myself, tied up and away from all the fucking perves that want you for themselves.” Blake held you tightly in his arms, you knew better than to squirm.

“S-so you wanted them to hate me?” You cried in confusion.

“Well...  It certainly wasn’t part of the plan, but how could you have a relationship if everyone thought you killed your last boyfriend?”

“How could you not fall for me? The clumsy but charming guy of your dreams, who was always there?” He asked staring deep into your eyes.

“I mean seriously, how couldn’t you?!” He raised his voice, “I WAS ALWAYS THERE, BUT ALL YOU DID WAS IGNORE ME AND PLAN ON LEAVING THIS ‘DUMPSTER OF A TOWN’!” he continued, voice now booming in the small room.

Your eyes immediately dilated and your palms began to sweat, tears pricking at your eyes once again.

“YOU'VE BEEN TRYING FOR YEARS, FUCKING YEARS, TO LEAVE ME!”

“W-why?” He’d finally calmed down, and started almost crying himself, the sight made you feel an uncomfortable mix of smug and sorry.

No.

He's a murderer.

“I couldn’t live with the harassment anymore.” You started calmly, hoping you wouldn’t flare up his anger.

“Didn’t you want me to be happy?” You asked.

“But I need you to be happy.” He responded weakly.

You remained silent and decided to take a closer look at the room you were stuck in.

You were currently laying on a queen sized bed, with three layers of blankets and plain blue sheets.

The walls of the room were painted the same blue as the sheets, though it was hard to tell at first due to photos of you and posters covering most of the area.

"The room must be Blake's," You thought. "Which means..." Your stomach turned at the thought.

You'd have to sleep with this psycho.

And then what would happen?

He would push himself onto you, and you'd either have to accept it, or... You didn't want to think about what he'd do to you.

His threats when you didn't acknowledge him, the fact that he broke into your home and kidnapped you, and...

What he did to your boyfriend.

And how he enjoyed the aftermath of fear and bullying towards you. He stood by as people made your life a living hell. Because they thought you were a criminal, a murderer that was about to get what they deserved.

Maybe they were right. You did kill him. Who knows how many other deaths you were responsible for?

No.

He killed him. Blake did.

And all of this, that's what'll clear your name once you escape wherever this psycho is keeping you.

"W-where are we?" Your voice came out softer and meeker than you'd like, but maybe that would help. Get him to believe you were just scared and worried, though you really were.

The male sat in front of you, shaking a small amount.

"Home."

Uh, so this is kinda old, but then I added onto it and rewrote it to be x reader. I was mega hyped for this blog when I started writing this, even making a Pinterest board for this character, but I never actually described his appearance, and personality wise he is a pissbaby.

Bruh, my first draft on this account made realise I changed his name from Joey to Blake.

Edit: I fucking forgot to change his name once and used third person phrasing instead of second person in one part. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Unsteady Keys: Chapter 9

A/n: Hey everyone. I hope you're all doing well. I'm pretty proud of this chapter. Please let me know what you think.

Warnings: this chapter does contain flashbacks, mentions of slightly toxic relationships. Mentions of Spencer's mom. Panic attacks. If there are anything more to add let me know

Requests are open

Word count : 3,024

It's been a couple of hours since we've gotten to work. I couldn't find Spencer anywhere. I needed to tell him that there was a lead on Lindsey due to Simmons giving Ethan a cognitive interview. I had called him a handful of times and gotten no answer.  Which is weird but with everything that's happened he has every right to have some alone time. I was still trying to call him when I found him in Morgan's old office. I don't know why I checked the cafeteria and the break room first. I felt myself facepalm as I looked around the room. 

He was in a daze and hadn't even noticed my presence until I moved myself into the floor across from him. I leaned against the desk for support as I looked up at him. He glanced at me and then looked away. The hand he was using to prop his head up seemed to tense. 

'You smell like mint and your cologne.' I said it with a small amount of amusement.  I knew he would change. It didn't bother me if anything. I'm surprised he even went to work with the smell of my essence laced into his skin and his breath. He nodded to acknowledge what I had said. 

'Love? Is everything alright?' He looked at me then and held my gaze. 'I know I said I'd talk to Ethan too but I can't seem to bring myself to. Seeing him for longer than a couple of hours has me remembering things with him so intensely.' 

A soft comforting smile formed on my face as I gently grabbed the hand that rested on his knee and squeezed. 'There's a lead on Lindsey.  I was going to leave with the rest of the team to go check it out. If you wanna stay here I can tell Em. Maybe you can get something more from Ethan. Then Matt did. ' I kissed his forehead gently.

Just like that. I left him to his own devices letting him figure everything out for himself.  I was gonna need to tell Em he wasn't coming.

-------------

I walked into the interrogation room with Ethan and undid his handcuffs immediately.  I didn't like seeing him like an unsub. So until further evidence came about I wasn't going to treat him as such. 

'You look like you've seen a ghost Reid.  What's wrong?' I looked at him as I stood against the wall. 'Did- did you?- ' I found myself stuttering and searching for words. My hands moved about as if I were trying to grasp each word that flew around my mind until it formed a sentence. How do you speak to someone that you haven't spoken to in years? Not in depth anyway. 

'You're a big hot shot Mr. FBI. Married, professor most likely with a couple books published or at least articles and yet you are still just the same man I adored back then.' He spoke with care and love in his voice as he watched my face blanch at what he said.

If it wasn't for the fact he has seen me this way before I would have been far more embarrassed then I was. My mouth was still opening and closing and my hands had finally stopped. 'Did you? Was it you? I- was it you that hurt me? With the blade?' 

I had finally managed to collect my words and form a complete sentence even if it was laced with fear and sorrow. I was terrified he'd say yes. I was even more petrified if he said no. If he hadn't done it then I'd have nothing to hold against him. 

There was no way I could remain upset about something that happened in college and it wouldn't make me seem like an upset child. I hadn't bothered to meet Ethan's eyes. I was honestly too afraid of what he'd see residing in my own. 

I didn't hear him move and I didn't notice how close he got until he spoke. Making me jump and look out of the two way glass. This was a bad idea. I need to get out of here. I feel like the room is shrinking. 

Ethan cupped my face and forced me to look at him. The fact that this was being recorded made me even more nervous. What if the rest of the team found out what happened between us.

I finally met his gaze. I knew my eyes probably reminded him of the first time he ever hurt me. This time had nothing to do with the kiss I walked in on years ago.

'Spencer.' As he spoke his thumb traced my jaw. 'I would never. I could never hurt you.' I laughed bitterly and flinched when his thumb met the side of my lips. 'This was a mistake. I - I need some fresh air'. I quickly rushed out, locking the door behind me. 

I blew out a breath I didn't realize I was holding within my lungs as I felt my breathing start to quicken. I made my way to the roof of the building that no one really used. I slid down the door as I made it fully outside.  

I watched as the sun began to set. The sky turned different colors until emerging me in full darkness besides for the buildings lights I closed my eyes. Why do I feel like a young adult all over again? Why am I letting him get under my skin? The worst part was that he isn't even trying to make me feel like this.

One minute I was on the rooftop the next I was in the band room of our college laying on the ground with my head resting on Ethan's jacket as he played the piano.

'I could fall asleep to the sound of you playing. You know.' I said as each key played from his fingertips. His cologne was all over me because we may or may not have been making out on the floor before I scolded him that he needed to practice. He had a big concert event coming up. 

'I could think of better things to do in here than you falling asleep.' His voice was teasing, making me blush.  It had only been a few weeks since our first actual time together and in all honesty it made me nervous just thinking about it. Ethan seemed to want to sleep together constantly.  Which is fine. I loved having sex with him but sex was never something I thought I'd experience so I'd much rather be reading or learning something new.

Just the other day we got into an argument because I turned him down. 

I was sitting in a lecture with the man that created the Behavioral Analysis Unit. The BAU for short. At the time, I didn't want to get laid. I wanted to learn more about how learning to understand a serial killer could help catch them. I was deeply intrigued and asked many questions as the lecture hall went on.

'You know you did ditch me for some cop I don't see why now would be a bad time to make up for it?

'A federal Agent is hardly a cop and if you can't remember his job at least remember his name. Jason Gideon.'

Ethan scoffed in small annoyance as he continued to play. Only this time the sound of the piano sounded like chase music. I felt like it should play in Tom and Jerry. 

'You can't seriously be upset with me about that?' I said trying to sound calm and collected in reality I was upset. I originally went to college to learn all the things needed to be someone that taught others. I had been debating on changing my career path for sometime now and I think I finally found it. 

'I think I wanna try to join the BAU. Gideon already told me with how interested I was in the lecture and with how smart I am. I'd make a great addition to the team.'

He smashed his fingers on the piano and groaned. 'Reid we already planned our future together. Do you really wanna give that up to join the FBI?' The way he looked at me was as if I had broken his heart. It's not that I had forgotten our plans after college. The only problem was that I used to be able to see that future and now I couldn't. 

Since the class with Gideon and all the research I've done. Working for the FBI just made sense. It would cover everything for my mother's doctor's and Care facility. Plus being able to keep a great roof over my head and food in my belly. I suppose to Ethan not living life on the edge was boring.

I shook my head to escape the memory.  Out of all the ones to have right now, why did that one resurface? My head fell in my hands as I combed my hair out of my face. My phone went off with a text from Y/n. 

'Hey, so we found her abandoned hideout but it looks like she hasn't been here in a bit. I don't know if you've gone to see him or not but I figured you could maybe get more info? If you're feeling up to it of course. Otherwise he made a bond with Matt. He can try again when we get back.'

I sighed. I wasn't in the mood to see him again. I thought I could separate my feelings towards him from this case and I know I'm not doing it. Perhaps I should step back from this case. I should talk to Emily. I know I'd still have to deal with Cat ever so often but otherwise she was my wife's problem now. I slipped my phone back in my pocket and closed my eyes. Everything just seemed like too much right now. 

'Seriously we are not doing this right now Ethan?' I was putting back on my clothes.  Situating my hair as well. 'You are not going to make me late. I refuse to miss seeing my mother again because you can't not want to sleep with me when we are alone.'

I walked around him as I grabbed my bag to take with me to go see my mom. It held some overnight clothes. I had missed the last time they were going to allow me to stay. All because I gave in to Ethan's advances to make him happy. I loved him and when we weren't bickering things were fabulous. After a year of it though it's exhausting. 

He caught me by my hips and pulled me to him. I swatted his hands away. He may not have wanted anything from me but a proper goodbye but I didn't want to give him the chance. I had already prepared myself mentally for the arguing that was gonna come from me turning him down. Me leaving him alone for long periods of time made me nervous.  

He'd never done anything to make me anxious about leaving him. He'd only go to bars and play and have a couple of drinks with other musicians.  I had accompanied him plenty of times. Nothing ever happened besides musicians talking about anything and everything underneath the shitty neon lights of the bar.

'Tell your mom I said hi and that I hope she's doing well. Also tell her I'm sorry I kept you away last time. I don't know what came over me. ' He cupped my face and went to kiss me but I turned my head slightly.  Again. I'm not taking any chances. I'd happily lose anyone or anything as long as I still had my mom.  He ended up kissing my cheek. 

A sigh escaped him as he let me go. 'I'll see you when you get back. Yeah?' I nodded and smiled at him as I headed toward the door.

'Wait, Reid. I'll be going out tonight to play. I'll message you when I arrive and when I leave. I know how you worry. Tell me when you make it to your mom's.  I love you. ' I smiled as I ran off to see my mom.

A groan escaped me. Why? I'm so sick of these memories coming up. I looked around the roof and let out another sigh. I really need to let what happens next go. Yet before I could stop my brain it quickly wraps me and surrounds me in the memory and as it unfolds like a movie before my very eyes. I kept my vision from blurring from the unleashed tears. 

Time with my mom had gone by well from when I got there until now.  She started having a violent episode one that if I had stayed would have ended in her calling me crash again.  I'd never tell her she'd hit me. I just wanted comfort. So I came home early. Well to a place Ethan and I were renting together. I hadn't told him I was on my way home.  So when I came home to an empty place I wasn't surprised. I quickly dropped off my things and ran to where I figured he'd be.  The bar with his friends. It was rare anyone would be there right now actually drinking; they should just be setting their instruments.

Only when I came in I found Ethan behind stage with a girl's tongue shoved down his throat. There clothes slightly askew He pushed her away when he realized I was there. 'Spencer this isn't what It looks like!' 

I just stood there frozen. I couldn't form a word, I could barely comprehend what I saw.  When he stepped towards me. I turned away and just walked away. I felt like my heart had just been stomped into the ground after being clawed at unintentionally by my mother. I was broken. 

That night I got multiple calls and texts from Ethan. I ignored them all. I ended up sleeping on a campus bench. Comfy truly.  

I never fully spoke to Ethan after that day.  Things with my mom got chaotic and I didn't have the time to focus on anything but getting my PhD and taking care of my mom. As long as I was busy I couldn't blame myself that I was too afraid to face Ethan.  He broke my heart and I didn't even give him the opportunity to even try to explain himself.

That was ages ago though so why am I still thinking about it. Why won't my brain just shut up. I need to get back Inside. Maybe the team is back by now. 

------------

Having to find Spencer recently was starting to become a habit. I looked everywhere for him everywhere besides outside. I finally found him walking in from the stairway that led to the roof.

'Hey.' I gave him a small wave and what I hoped was a reassuring smile. This case was getting to him for obvious reasons. He honestly hasn't looked this distraught since after he came back from prison. 

His eyes widened slightly. 'Good you're all back already then?' I nodded. My eyes didn't want to leave him. I knew something had happened. I just didn't know what. Pushing him was never something I had done and I wasn't gonna start now. Maybe I'll just bring it up a little to see if he decides to tell me. If not then it can wait until he sorts out his mind.

'So we didn't find Lindsey.  We did find a couple of things though. Photos of you in Mexico. Photos of you even in the prison yard. Among others of max and you and us together.  Lindsey appears to be stalking us. Maybe it was something Cat asked her to do.  Or maybe Ethan was the one taking some of the photos.' I looked away and was staring at my hands as my brain started putting small pieces together. Theories really.

Spencer grabbed my hand gently and brought it up so I'd follow it with my eyes. 'I am actually debating on taking a step back from this case. I was gonna tell Emily and see what she thought.' The smile he gave me didn't reach his eyes. 

'Let's be honest it's probably for the best that I do. I know too much and I am far too involved, especially with Cat and Ethan both being a part of this. It's just more than I think I can handle. I could be wrong. Maybe I just need a day to breathe. I'll have to figure that out though.'

He placed my hand on his face and all I could do was rub my thumb across his jaw. I let out a small laugh suddenly. Which surprised him. 'I'm sorry it's not funny! I just kept thinking that If I pushed hard enough on your jawline would it cut me?' It was a terrible time for me to not be able to keep things to myself.  He needed me serious, right?

A laugh bellowed out of him and I could see some of the stress and pain he was carrying with him lift a little. I myself smiled too when he pulled me into his chest. 'Oh how I love you and your random thoughts.' He moved his hand to cup my cheek and leaned in as if he were gonna kiss me. 

One of our arrangements when we started dating was no PDA in the workplace if any, keep it always at a minimum. With what he was doing it was making me question if he was about to break that small rule. Not that I minded if he did or not though. 

He stroked my cheek and smiled at me as he pecked the tip of my nose and walked away.

I couldn't help but scrunch up my nose the way a bunny would. It tickled. A smile formed on my face as I watched him leave.

Taglist:

@sassymoon @rainsong01 @onlyhereforthefanfics @itsdars @dreatine

The "Judge" and The Sinner.

Tw: Violence, language, murder, Self harm

(Partially based off of 3 episodes of Angels of Death; Episode 4: A sinner has no right of choice, Episode 5; Don't let me kill you just yet, and Episode 6; Zack is the only one who can kill me. Some torture methods will be skipped over/changed slightly because most human beings can't endure all of the torture Zack and Rachel (Mostly Zack cause he's an idiot) went through without dying.)

The elevator doors opened and Riley slowly walked out onto B3, immediatley noticing the machine guns mounted on the walls, as if the last floor wasn't difficult enough; Running from the sweet but obsessive and insane ginger haired grave-keeper; Eddie.

A single bullet was fired from one of the guns, just barley missing Riley's arm causing her to stumble back, just as more bullets were fired rapidly, getting closer until they stopped, only inches away.

"Great...trying to fill me with bullet holes huh?"

"Hiii~! Terribly sorry I'm late! It took you so long to get here...I nearly dozed off! Still...I'm surprised you weren't killed just now! You sure have incredible intuition dear~"

"What..."

"Y'know something? I had a feeling you'd be a great sinner~! ...I must've needed some excitement cause that woke me right up!" "That's great and all miss...but I don't really care...Could you just let me through...?"

"I supposed I can do that~"

Bright lights shined on Riley and she narrowed her eyes so it wasn't so harsh.

The iron bar door slid open and Riley walked through, and walked down the hallway to a room with locked doors.

"You said you'd let me through..." her voice was calm yet slightly irritated.

"My~ You're so impatient! At least let me finish putting on my makeup!"

Riley let out a huff of annoyance.

"There's a certain procedure each criminal must go through before their punishment is assigned~ If I were you, I'd start getting ready now. In fact I'll even open up a room for you~"

One of the doors unlocked and Riley went in.

(ignore the fact Zack and Rachel are there, it's a room with the mugshot board(?), a camera, and a table with a bin with the name boards)

"Every legitimate criminal has a mugshot, right~? Take a pretty one for me! ...Oh and it's not a proper mugshot without your name board, of course~"

Riley walked over to the table, grabbed her name board out of the bin which said "Riley Morgan" on it, in letters that looked as if they were painted with blood...which wouldn't be surprising if it WAS blood.

"How am I supposed to do this by myself..."

Riley huffed, and moved the camera closer to the wall, hung the name board around her neck and quickly took a picture, narrowing her eyes slightly at the flash.

"There..."

Taking the name board off and tossing it to the side, Riley grabbed the photo and held it up towards the security camera, and the iron bars slid out of the way.

Walking out of the door; into another hallway, but this time with poorly drawn images of what seemed to be torture methods.

"They're illustrations of punishments I designed, for sinners just like you~! I'll give you a choice,...there's more than one way to punish a sinner you see~, So I've got a variety of painful options waiting for you! Of course...if you'd rather spend the rest of your life rotting in a cell...it's always on the table~!"

"What kind of pathetic person would decide to rot forever..."

"Oh~? Too bad...and here I was hoping I'd get to keep you forever! ahahah~!"

Silently Riley walked into one of the rooms, filled with dolls...life size wooden dolls in rows of chairs...with what looked to be an electric chair in the front. "She- She's really trying to fry me to death!"

But suddenly the iron bars slid open.

"Ahaha~! I know you wouldn't survive that kind of punishment! I'd like to see a little sinner like you suffer for longer~ So I ever so kindly let you through!"

Riley hesitated before walking out of that room, into another hallway, with a door that had a warning sign on it. "Doesn't seem like the best of ideas...but it's the only chance I've got"

Opening the door open, Riley imagined sitting in the electric chair and being shocked over and over until she eventually died and shuddered, once inside the door locked behind her. "Great..., as if it wasn't bad enough to be locked in here, it really stinks!" scrunching her nose at the smell, she noticed a corpse in the middle of the room.

Sighing, Riley walked over to one of the blood stained windows, pulled her knife out of her pocket and bashed the handle against the window as hard as possible, but nothing happened, not even the slightest crack.

The TV's in the room turned on, showing Cathy.

"Hiiii~! Did you miss me dear?"

"Like the plague." Riley said flatly.

"Let me give you an explanation of the room you're in right now! And you'd better listen closely if you want to live. I got a little carried away with the design~ It's completely sealed, making it impossible for air to get in or out! The window glass has been reinforced, so you won't be able to break it! And the best part...I'm about to fill it with something veryyy special! If you stay in there long enough, you'll be on your way to a nice, peaceful death. It's poison gas~! Obviously I wouldn't confine you to a place like that with no way out...in fact, here's a gift~ I've mercifully provided a gas mask! As long as you do your best, of the utmost faith you'll escape! Oh, and of course I think it'd be a bit boring if I let you sit in there forever, so I've added a time limit! I knowwww~ I'm sooo thorough! After your time runs out you'll be given another gift! A gas so potent the mask won't do any good against it! That's all for now, have yourself a good time in there, and try not to die, okay~?"

Sighing, Riley glanced at the gas mask in the middle of the floor as the poison gas began to flow into the room, noticing the cracks in the eye lenses "Yeah...that won't be all that helpful..." and then walked over to the corpse on the floor and crouched down.

"There's writing..."

Riley gently shoved the body out of the way and read it

"The one with the ugly foot, the foolish killer who stomped out life with the right foot..."

Pausing as the writing got more difficult to read Riley huffed and then continued.

"It says something like...if you feel guilty get rid of your right foot, if the crime and punishment are equivalent, light will shine in hell."

Riley hesitated before grabbing the right foot, and walked over to the scale and placed it on one side, then grabbed the bag that was placed on the table and set it on the other side of the scale and watched as it balanced out.

The gas started to get to her, and Riley started coughing as it got harder to breath, quickly running over to the gas mask and putting it on, despite the cracks in it, it'd be better than nothing. The gas mask helped a little, but made it harder to see.

"This is stupid! Why the hell bother providing something if it's only going to make it harder you sadistic bitch?!"

Letting out a sigh of frustration Riley looked around hoping something had happened, and noticed the safe in the corner of the room had opened slightly, inside was a wire and a key card. Grabbing both, Riley walked over to where the key card would be inserted and put it in.

The gas stopped slowly and Riley smiled to herself, glad she had figured it out.

"My, my~ What a smart sinner you are~!"

"You're the one that made me come in here in the first place..."

"And you're the sinner who got yourself into this place~! You coulddd chose to rot in a cell~ It's still an option on the table dear~"

"Like I'd decide to do that! I'd rather die immedatley."

"My, my~ someone's eager to be punished for her sins~!" "Not like I can leave this floor till I'm "punished" anyway..."

Cathy laughed as Riley walked out of the room, down a hallway very slowly, the gas still taking its toll. Eventually she sat down against a wall where the cameras wouldn't see her and fell asleep.

Waking up with a jolt, Riley shook her head trying to get rid of the thoughts from the nightmare. Getting up and slowly down the hall, into a room with a smashed doll house, half expecting to be required to do something, she sighed and glanced at the TV in the room.

"I'll let you pass through this one~ I didn't know enough about you to mentally torture you so you're lucky!"

"and you said I took a long time to get here, in that time you could've figured out more about me, but why would you want to? I'm just an ugly, pathetic, useless, boring bitch."

"Oh~? I don't think you're boring! You're actually quite an interesting sinner~ You're smart and I like that about you~ You remind me of that gorgeous sinner; Eddie~!" Not knowing if that was a good thing or not, Riley slowly walked down another hallway, separated in two by a wall in the center with barbed wire on the top, stopping at the table. The door up on the ledge opened and Cathy stepped out.

"How nice to finally meet you in person~!" Riley just gave her a cold glare "You gonna let me through or not?" "My! You shouldn't be so rude to a pretty lady like me~! In order to continue, you must inject yourself with those syringes, one contains vitamins and the other contains dangerous drugs!" "Which is which?" "AHAHAHAHA~!! It doesn't matter! I won't tell, besides I forgot~! Once you inject every last drop I'll gladly open up the door for you! You might wanna hurry though...or else someone you love will die~" and with that, Cathy went back the way she came.

"Great...this could kill me, I'll probably die anyway..."

Grabbing both syringes, Riley looked at them; one of them contained green liquid and the other was yellow, but the colors didn't give any hints as to which was the vitamins and which was the drugs, it wouldn't matter since she'd have to inject both. Quickly Riley injected both into her arm, tossed the empty syringes to the side and the door opened.

"Stupid bitch...my heads pounding..." Riley stopped in the dim hallway and leaned against the wall with her hands against her head.

The so called "dangerous drugs" just brought out the voices in her head, telling her to kill someone, or something and they only got more persistent by the second.

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Riley's voice had gone shrill, laced with insanity as it echoed through the dark empty hallway.

Continuing to walk down the hall as the voices got more and more persistent until she walked into a large room and the door slammed shut behind her, locking.

"Glad you could finally join your sister and I~! It took long enough..." There was a girl standing in the middle of the room with long dark brown hair and blueish green eyes.

"What does she have to do with this? I want nothing to do with her! She left me and Jack, and Jack died!!"

"Oh~, you don't want revenge~? All those voices in your head telling you to kill her but you just can't? Maybe you aren't as great of a sinner as I thought..." The brunette glanced at Riley "R-Riley don't...please..."

"Oh but why not!? Huh? WHY NOT LEXI!? Why shouldn't I? You left us alone, and Jack died. Why shouldn't I rip your throat out right here right fucking now?! So you can go be pathetic somewhere else? Nahhh~ I'll kill you myself, slowly and painfully and see how you like it!"

Fear shined in Lexi's eyes as Riley stepped closer

"Scared~? You should be!" Cathy laughed as she watched the two

"AHAHAH~!! I've provided you with a gun as well~ Kill her as you'd like!" Riley grabbed the gun and pointed it right at Lexi's head.

"You could've avoided this y'know? But you didn't...and now you'll pay for it!"

"RILEY PLEASE!" "You're gonna beg to live? Pathetic. If you're gonna beg, do it right, you don't look nearly as pathetic as he did." "W-wh-who d-did?" "You don't know? AHAH! Go on~ Tell her~!" Riley shot a cold glance at Cathy, enough to make her shut up, temporarily. "You're clueless...Jack? Yeahhh...I did it. I killed him." "YOU WHAT?"

Lexi attemped to grab the gun out of Riley's hand only to have it pressed to her chest.

"He begged me to, so I did." "You whore-" "Do you WANT me to pull this trigger? The trigger that'll end your pathetic existence?"

"Do as you please...it doesn't matter anymore..." Riley pulled the trigger but nothing happened.

Cathy giggled and then bursted out laughing.

Silently Riley pulled the knife out "You'll die one way or another~" and pointed it at Lexi's throat.

"Please...-"

Without saying anything, Riley took the knife and slid it across her arm, blood gushed down her arm but she seemed unbothered.

Silently Cathy got up, and walked down the stairs to where the siblings are "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE KILLING HER!" "Did I say I wasn't going to..?" The drugs would've worn off at this point, but because Riley was younger and smaller they hadn't yet, without hesitating she flicked the knife back towards Lexi

"RILEY PLEASE! Can't you hold back?" "Hold back!? IF I COULD I WOULDN'T BE HERE!" "Sinners can't control their bloodlust~ Just accept it!" Lexi stepped back only to stumble and fall

"Get up. Now." Lexi didn't get up, so Riley grabbed her arm and jerked her up making her stand up and quickly plunged the knife into her stomach over and over, blood gushed out and covered the floor around them, Cathy laughed as Riley plunged the knife deeper every time until she stopped and Lexi's body fell to the floor, limp and dead.

"My, my~ You ARE a great sinner~ Now you'll get your punishment~!"

Riley just glared at Cathy silently, her eyes seeming cold and dead.

Without warning the 4 guns in the corners of the room began firing, not knowing what to do, Riley ducked hoping they'd stop before they got to her, unfortunately they didn't and one shot her in the leg.

"You'd look great filled with bullet holes~" Collapsing on her knees, Riley glared up at Cathy "So would you" and pointed the gun at her, forgetting nothing had happened when she pulled the trigger last time.

"Go on~ Shoot me~!" "Why are you so eager to be shot?"

"Just do it! Unless....you aren't as great of a sinner as I thought~" Riley pointed it at Cathy's head and pulled the trigger but nothing happened "AHAHAHA~!! Foolish of you to think I'd actually give you a loaded gun!"

Despite the blood gushing from the bullet wound, Riley shakily got up "So...are you gonna kill me or..." "No. A sinner like you is much too interesting to be killed~!"

Riley sat on the floor, watching blood pool around her, and her sisters dead body in silence.

Okay, first off, I know I said we would start where I left off in Corona, but I need to take a second to recognize something I forgot in Toy Box when rewriting the last post. Yozora.

Sora's "I never looked this good"

And Donald and Goofy like, "He looks kinda like Riku. Must be him."

And the Kingstagram post: "Yozora looks so much like Riku! I have GOT to play this game someday!"

Soriku bro😔👌

Okay, now back to Corona😂

So, where we left off, Gothel took Rapunzel back to the tower, and I'm skipping to Gothel's Rapunzel trap working on Flynn, and Flynn slowly dying

So, starting with Rapunzel, she starts off pretty confident, talking about how she'll run and run and run from Gothel forever, but in one moment, she becomes more submissive

If only she could just use her hair to save him.

Though obviously these are two different feelings going on, we're gonna start with this loose parallel of Rapunzel to Sora, who also in a single moment or from a single event, goes from confident to crying on his knees

If only Sora had his friends to give him the power to drive back the demon hurricane.

And of course, neither Flynn nor Riku will let it be this way. Flynn can't let her give up her dreams and her freedom to save him, and Riku just can't let Sora give up and believe he can't do anything.

["Sora, I believe in you. You won't give up."]

So, what do they do?

Flynn cuts off Rapunzel's hair, condemning himself to death, but saving Rapunzel's life (or at least, right to truly live)

Riku takes a shot at the demon tide, sacrificing himself in hopes of saving Sora's life.

In other words, they do a true love's sacrifice/act of true love

Quick intermission since here is where Gothel becomes the heartless and final boss. I still suck at this boss. It took me an hour or two to beat her. However, this is also when I started abusing shotlocks for the first time, so there's that. Abuse ultima shotlocks, cast magic, time your dodges, and hope whenever you attack you don't get attacked 😂

So, by the time Sora, Donald, and Goofy get up to the tower, I think we're supposed to presume Eugene is nearly dead, but Rapunzel is holding on, not wanting him to die

And of course, Sora desperately reaches for the light, calling for Riku. I guess you could say he's holding onto Riku.

["Riku! Riku, answer me!"]

Rapunzel sings her healing song that talks about reversing time, bringing back "what once was mine", changing "the fates' design, ect, and then her tear drops onto Eugene's face. And so, after both of them risked their own lives in acts of true love, both of them cheat the different deaths which would have been thrust upon them, changing fate's design

In similar fashion, due to what I believe to have been Kairi holding Sora's form together and Riku's act of true love saving Sora's heart, Sora too has cheated death (at least for now), and after reaching for the light, calling for Riku, and flying into it, he goes for Riku's heart first, saves all of his friends (minus Kairi till the light tunnel, though Sora doesn't save her) and not only reverses, but rewrites the destined events to happen in the timeline. I'd say it parallels Rapunzel's healing song, and even though he does save everyone and not just one person, there definitely is something to the fact that he specifically goes for Riku, specifically calls his name, and ends up wresting him from his fate first.

(Don't worry, bro, his heart'll be okay now)

Also, side note: During Rapunzel singing her healing song, she and Eugene confess that the other was their new dream and that just my heart

Bro, Eugene like, "Did I ever tell you... I've got a thing for brunettes?"

He really be the Riku parallel in this scene, don't he😏

Now of course, being me, I can't pass up the next parallel in this world

Sora: Well, if he comes back and tries to bother Rapunzel again, then Flynn will keep her safe.

Donald: Come on. Rapunzel's the tough one, if you ask me.

Flynn: True. But nevertheless, I won't let her out of my sight.

I mean, maybe it's just me, but it seems this parallels Riku wanting to have the strength to protect Sora, attaining that strength, but also being aware that Sora can take care of himself and has his own strength

And of course, this world is ended with a funny sex joke and Flynn getting stared down by Maximus and wet willied by pascal

Since here we're done with the worlds in the first area of gummi space and launched into the next, I'm gonna add that after every world I spend forever in gummi space farming meteorites and occasionally fighting the heartless and some boss battles, and every time I get launched into the next area of gummi space, I get all the treasure planets and the warp zone things too (apparently actual words evade me for both those things today). Legit though, farming meteorites is so helpful in getting synthesis materials you can use for upgrading your keyblades

So next was on to Monstropolis. I don't have much to talk about here.

Sora, Donald, and Goody freaking out over each other's monster forms? Hilarious.

Monster Sora? He will never not be adorable. Same with Boo

The big blue turtletoad unversed are annoying, and ngl, I had to dodge around a lot and play safe so I wouldn't die in like 2 hits.

Both the keyblade forms for Oathkeeper amd the form for Ultima on monster Sora are just so epic!!!

I still hate light rails with a passion.

Poor Sora so tired of dealing with computers thst when Goofy suggests smashing it, he's completely ready

Monstropolis: Randal nearly becomes leather wear before Vanitas saves him

The fact that Sora, Donald, and Goofy talked about Sora's weird kh1 smile and afterwards actually came up with a name for it. "Do the silly face special!" Also, when Monster Sora does it, it's definitely cute compared to the kh1 scene

The final boss unversed still sucked and took me plenty of tries, but I think I did better than my proud run.

YEETUS VANITAS

Ngl, I chanted YEETUS VANITAS cause I knew when it was coming

Poor Vanitas. He just need some love. From what I can tell in kh3, he's probably not hurting like he was in bbs and is less angry, and because there was a hole in his heart, he believed he had to join with Ventus to fill it even though their hearts have grown apart. Vanitas probably needs love to fill that hole

Poor Sora hurting and falling to the ground while Vanitas tells him that Ventus is in his heart

And last but definitely not least! Sora's Kingstagram post on the Vanitas scene where he learns that Ven is in his heart. And at the end of it, after talking about how apparently Ven is in his heart and stuff (I think) he's just like, "Would Riku know?" And the fact that Sora's included Riku in the Kingstagram posts means he was probably thinking about him and the fact he thinks Riku might know these things just... aaaaaaaa brooooo

And now onto Arendelle, home of many a Soriku parallel and where I did a lot of backtracking to save points

I kinda left this platform, but i felt like coming back to post this. I’m crossposting it from my reddit.

I don’t wish to reopen old wounds, but I need to get this off my chest. I hate Cleaved as much as the next person, but why the hell do we give Star so much crap character wise for the ramifications of destroying the magic? Everyone around her pushed her into making a decision no 15 year old girl should make.

Mina and her army keeping hostages within arm's length are obvious, and the two twits Omnitraxus and Rhombulous not caring who dies from their support of the coup were also overt culprits...

But why the hell do the rest of them get a pass from so many people? Moon stabbed her daughter in the back and completely lacked the foresight to see that Mina would take things too far. Yeah, sure, give the racist and her followers a legion of badass giant armor and Avada Kedavra swords. This clearly won’t escalate. Because of her, Star was put under more pressure, since Mina not only took hostages, but essentially inflicted many of Star's friends with an incurable poison- giving her far less options on how to fix things. Nice going, Moon.

And let's not forget the see-all, know-all jerk Glossaryck, who regardless of whether he's the personification or just the guardian of magic, clearly knew everything that was going to happen, at least to some degree. This all powerful being lets the decision of destroying magic fall to a teenager. Yes, Star probably should've have thought about more than Mewni when thinking of the consequences of destroying magic. But Glossaryck gave her no reason to think about that. If anything, he gave her less of reason by basically saying "the magic will know where to put everything".

But yeah, just let that responsibility fall onto a young girl. The ramifications of such a decision surely won't come back in her nightmares down the line after such vague hand-wavings of the consequences. God, I think I'd prefer a meeting with Bill Cipher. He'd probably give me more straight answers than the blue troll ever would. And at least I would know where he stands on things. Even if Glossaryck was trying to do good, he manipulated a teenage girl like she was a pawn into making a multi-world altering decision and didn't bat an eye or try to warn her against it. Yeah, he's "above good and evil" or whatever, but screw that. If anything that just means he's disconnected. Because he's so above it all, because he has become some nigh omnipotent god of sorts, that just means he no longer understands what it's like to be mortal, to fear to be killed by storms and sickness, to suffer from depression, and especially not the weight of a decision like destroying the magic, etc. He doesn’t understand the consequences of being human.

(though this is strictly about characters, I feel Nefcy was trying to tell us that societies weren't going to topple because the magic would... do something? Kinda like how seeing the ponyheads apparently means Star didn't kill as many people right off the bat. Both are hard to believe and require a heavy suspension of disbelief)

And then there's Hekapoo. Good god, Hekapoo is the worst of them. I don't care if she "begrudgingly" went along with the murderous coup, she still sat there and let it happen. Yeah, just wait it out in the Tavern Heka, it's not like you're the cause of all this or anything. She just saves the Butterflys to sate her guilty conscience and then calls it a day. She could've used her shadow clones and portal skills to save the hostages and injured, but nah. My work here is done! I did a good deed, so I don't have to worry about it anymore. And yeah, I know the Butterflys didn't even ask if she could help, but considering her attitude of "drink till I'm smashed and wait till this mess blows over", I think they knew it was a lost cause. It's not like it's out of character either, we knew she was a corrupt bigot ever since Eclipsa's trial, just like the rest of the council. If anything, I think she was okay with Star destroying magic because it meant a quick and painless death, rather than having to face the consequences of nearly getting a bunch of people killed.

The finale was crap writing, yes, but taking it for what it was, Star made the best possible decisions she was given, and was the most justified in her decisions, especially compared to everyone else.

Star was not in the right destroying the magic. But she wouldn't have been in the right if she hadn't either, because there were no right decisions to make. There was no third way out, not just beacause it was written that way (well, actually yes because of that, but I’m talking strictly in-universe) but because everyone's fuckups minimized her options.

Star, betrayed by people who were supposed to be on her side, coerced by higher powers like Glossaryck and that damn quilt (I mean it’s hard to choose not to when the big quilt of destiny says that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do), and pressured by extremist murderers, was forced to make a metaphorical split second decision. Either destroy the magic, killing the spells and magic council, and hoping everything else will be fine based on Glossaryck’s vague implications-but saving the monsters and stopping Mina now... or allow innocent people to die now and a murderous extremist with a nearly indestructible army to take over and fight a disadvantageous battle later on that will most likely resort in a lot more deaths- but keep the magic and not even take the risk of destroying it and keeping Eclipsa and Meteora (hopefully) safe. Neither of them were "good" decisions. Both had extreme consequences and grave risks. But, as the good doctor and my favorite character would say...

Also, P.S., neither Star nor Marco knew the magic would fulfill their "wish" as it died, especially not like how it did. Just... cut Star some slack on that one. Also, yes, Star treated Tom badly, but that's irrelevant to the finale, and a rant for another day. But to sum it up- why did Star turn into an asshole girlfriend when she selflessly swallowed her own feelings so Marco could date Jackie? Do Daron and her crew seriously not understand their own main character?!

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [So, the night before this friendmas, which is probably the next day from the nativity moment, like this is the first day of the holiday vibe] Janis: We're still on for their friendmas bullshit? Jimmy: can't 😭 off Janis: It's still worth it Janis: for the amount of damage that can be done in one sitting Jimmy: it were my 🥇💡 don't need telling Janis: Checking you were still up for it Janis: and we have to make the food to bring Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Helpful as that is, what do you want to make and where do you want to make it? Jimmy: Where are you? Janis: my grandparents Jimmy: nearer yours or mine? Janis: yours Janis: mine is near nothing Jimmy: come here then Janis: alright Janis: just trying to think of ways to sneak calories into shit without pouring butter onto a salad Jimmy: look up thanksgiving recipes, they're known for that bollocks Janis: okay Janis: and you'll be...? Jimmy: cleaning my kitchen, that alright with you? Janis: Fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: My sister thinks Mia might invite her boyfriend Jimmy: 💰 on him not showing up Janis: What I said Janis: in case he does though Janis: she was useless with any other info Jimmy: 💔 her and this group chat Jimmy: not actually that bothered what Asia might wear Janis: 🙄 Janis: how much freedom is there with a fucking jumper Janis: she said they don't eat fuck all sustaining but no shit there, hence the plan Jimmy: [sends her a pic I saw of a real jumper that has the tit cut out and like a red reindeer nose over the person's nip or something I can't remember] Janis: Oh Janis: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: distract from the teeth but nah Jimmy: Dunno who's got her for the 🎁 giving but 🤞 for invisalign Janis: budget kit that ain't dentist-approved I saw on insta Janis: 🤞 it'll fuck her up harder Jimmy: all teeth to no teeth Janis: fit in with 💀👑 and 💀#2 Jimmy: mash 🥔 or 🍠 it is Janis: 🍠 is too vom-inducing as is Janis: hide 💊s in it like 👶🐶 Jimmy: is that marshmallow thing bollocks or what? Janis: nah, that's legit Janis: we could do that Janis: cultural Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: you can cover everyone's plates in gravy Janis: not a euphemism Janis: #northern Jimmy: I'd have a job if you were expecting the euphemism Janis: you're alright Janis: amusing, but suspicious when I'm not touching my plate Jimmy: very trusting of you to crack on with any of it as is Janis: I doubt they're wasting laxatives on me Janis: skinny enough Janis: it'll just be gross Jimmy: weren't where my 🧠 went but alright Janis: ? Janis: oh, very Agatha Christie Janis: not gonna kill themselves to kill me, I'll watch the plates and serving up Jimmy: nowt rich lasses won't monogram, theirs'll be safe and sound Janis: what about yours? Janis: you might get roofied Jimmy: take my chances downing the gravy, too northern for owt else, you said it Janis: that'll be nice Jimmy: 😍 obvs Janis: I meant for me when I inevitably have to 💋 you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: it's at #2s Janis: odds on a 👑 shrine somewhere? Jimmy: near her 🛏 Janis: under it when she's about Janis: in it when she ain't 💔 Jimmy: we don't have to sleep there in a bit, do we? Janis: oh bollocks Janis: I'm sure we can get out of it, as we technically were not invited Janis: pretty sure they do a sleepover too though Janis: any excuse Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I know Jimmy: I'm going down the shop, what bollocks do we need? Janis: [a list I'm not committing you to but we know the vibe] Janis: I've already got [shit we're stealing soz mcvickers] Jimmy: alright Jimmy: if you get here before I'm back, my sister'll let you in Janis: did she come to the nativity with yous? Jimmy: dragged kicking and marding, weren't that what I said? Janis: right Janis: apologies for doubting you Jimmy: tah Janis: what about the kid? Jimmy: what about him? Janis: where'd he end up on the scale Jimmy: we don't have a scale for him Janis: 😭 to 😁 Jimmy: near ☹️ Janis: no tears, at least Jimmy: can sign what we like without being those dickheads shouting out 🦻 perks Janis: that is useful Jimmy: and the 🐕's got somewhere new to sleep an' all Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: totally worth the money we didn't spend then Janis: can have these jumpers too after Jimmy: ain't yours itchy? Janis: feels like I'm wearing a barbershop floor Janis: but I didn't reckon your dog would be that fussy Jimmy: meant to be your specialist subject Janis: like ☕ is yours? Janis: not my passion, it's easy money Jimmy: there ain't much to know about ☕ don't need passion Janis: 🤫 Janis: you 💘 every bean Jimmy: it's only 💕 for your sister and her mates Janis: anything but getting a personality Janis: I know Jimmy: gotta put something in their bio Janis: 'IM AN EMPTY VESSEL' comes off desperate, even on tinder Jimmy: as 🤰 pact's go Janis: don't even Jimmy: very festive Janis: messiahs aren't being popped out 5 at a time Jimmy: they'd never be satisfied with 3 🎁s any road Jimmy: full baby shower or nowt Janis: yeah Janis: no doubt Grace will be torturing me with as much any time soon Jimmy: 🍾🍾🍾 Janis: 🔨🔨🔨 Jimmy: 👶👶👶👶👶 Janis: have to smash the poor bastards and all Janis: not worth thinking about Jimmy: ⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ Janis: yeah funerals are much better craic Janis: have as many of them as she likes Jimmy: matching the shades of black'll do her head in Janis: 🤞 Janis: the breakdown will give her a personality Janis: got there in the end, babes Jimmy: @ me Jimmy: be on the edge of my seat waiting to find out Janis: if your details don't get lost when you change back to your real identity Jimmy: 💔 I can't be @ing you on the off chance, be coming off as desperate an' all, me Janis: doubt she'll be so bombastic herself she'll turn down a DM request Janis: have a go, like Janis: dare to 💭 Jimmy: just pop in using my 👻 form, can't I? Jimmy: keep it between us Janis: my lips are sealed Janis: how you use your afterlife is your business Jimmy: got nowt else on Janis: optimistic Janis: you might be moving to 🥳 central Jimmy: Go on, where's that? Janis: Ian in the know, not me Jimmy: dare to 💭 Janet Janis: I don't care where I end up Janis: just not here is fine Jimmy: weren't talking about you, big head Janis: Not too fussed where you end up either Janis: not gonna lie Jimmy: What did you bring it up for then? Janis: You're moving Janis: you said Jimmy: and? Jimmy: 🥳 central were what you said, not me Janis: I don't know what you're getting at Jimmy: if you're not bothered, what are you getting at? Jimmy: no need to 🗨 bollocks were something else you said Janis: I was just messing about, both statements Janis: I didn't know everything I 🗨 had to be deadly serious Jimmy: I didn't know there were 1 rule for you and another for me Janis: it's a bit different from you calling me a slag but fine Janis: you've made your point Jimmy: nah, the point were that I were never calling you a slag Janis: you were joking, okay Jimmy: but go on and take it to your ⚰ Janis: I'm trying to have a normal conversation with you right now and you're the one being moody Jimmy: you're the one who said we don't need to have a conversation Janis: well we clearly do when we have shit to do Jimmy: we've sorted the 🍽 Janis: right, so tell me to piss off then Jimmy: and have to piss about cooking on my own? You're alright Jimmy: nowt like the threat of a good time, that Janis: then what Jimmy: then come here Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [this won't be awkward at all] Janis: [the tension and the kids are home so that'll not be remotely getting dealt with] Jimmy: [cos I'm evil like that hahaha, we're gonna both be so extra at friendmas, love it] Janis: [it also makes sense like if school is out now where you gonna be hens, truly idk what you're gonna say though girl] Jimmy: [like you could've hooked up on the trampoline but you would probably freeze to death and also Twix wouldn't allow it soz lads] Janis: [not on my watch Twix says, at least you can focus on making this side dish the weirdest most calorific moment] Jimmy: [having fun in spite of yourselves as per] Janis: [I want you to apologize but also not but that is difficile hmm, probably later if you get vaguely tipsy at this event] Jimmy: [and get swept away by the emoshness of fake gifting] Janis: [we know there will be plenty of time for moments abound then] Jimmy: [you'll be bored rigid otherwise] Janis: [mhmm and this is far from over hunnies] Jimmy: [whatever you do don't let Twix eat that while you're shamelessly distracted acting like it's all nbd] Janis: [or the kids lmao lowkey gotta hide this monstrosity when you're done] Jimmy: [hide it when you go 🚬 boy because we're stressed by the fact that whenever we try to have fun rn we then remember she said it was a mistake] Janis: [oh this misunderstanding, 'cos we only said it 'cos we thought that's what he was saying basically, lordy, also hate being left in his house like excuse me do I go now or] Jimmy: [what a time to wish you weren't alive] Janis: [coming out 'cos fuck just waiting or leaving, 'is there anything else we need to do?'] Jimmy: [automatically passes her a  🚬 because that bitch] Janis: [takes it like true, can't hurt] Jimmy: ['what time's the last bus?' cos he's assuming she's going home and that she's probably missed it] Janis: [shakes head 'I'll stay at my grandparents, no need to go home now'] Jimmy: [a look around like alright where's that because the ankle is still a thing and we're still worried about it] Janis: [a genuine oh-you kinda smile 'cos honestly 'literally a couple of streets from here, actually] Jimmy: [nods like okay, we'll go when you're ready cos obvs he's walking her whether she likes it or not] Janis: ['don't need an early night for friendmas, do we' like excuse you, I might have plans] Jimmy: [shrugs 'bit of a ball ache to get the chains of the bed and bring 'em with'] Janis: [😏'you could have a night off'] Jimmy: [makes a point of putting her leg on him to rest and elevate that ankle like no I cannot] Janis: [just looks at it and sighs 'I can't not walk, there's shit to do'] Jimmy: [just looks at her and you know they haven't made eye contact this whole time SO THERE'S THAT 'I know it hurts' in a soft way] Janis: [we gotta look away 'cos byeeeeee, shrugging and mumbling like 'it was just a stupid accident, I'm fine'] Jimmy: [nudging her, not hard obvs like 1. look at me and 2. don't be shrugging at me rn and shaking his head 'a stupid accident that were my fault' like LET ME HELP YOU!!] Janis: [shaking her head for all the reasons and then blurting out 'I'm embarrassed!' then being even more so like ffs] Jimmy: [cupping her little face in his hands the gentlest EVER 'what for?' because she literally has nothing to be embarrassed about] Janis: [looking at him like where do I start lol 'cos this has been so fast and so messy, not to mention the fact you now wanna kiss him and that's one of the things you think you need to be embarrassed over 'I don't need help, that's not- I'm not used to that'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' spoken like it'll be true if he just says it soft and with enough feeling, but then obvs we gotta recover ourselves a bit because vulnerability who is she 'I only were offering to take all them dogs out for a piss for you, not a kidney' but we're still not giving it full pisstake in how we're saying that or being] Janis: [pushing him but gently too, because likewise trying to get back to this more pisstakey energy without going too hard too fast 'not my fault you're like top nurse without even trying then' 'cos you're doing and have done way more than that, we know boy] Jimmy: [lowkey 😳 but we're hiding it with 😏 and the wintery darkness as we nudge her back but turn it into a feelsy lean for a while then giving her his phone like put that dog walking schedule in there girl I mean it] Janis: ['I ain't gonna be able to take your CG shifts, like' and mimes murdering all the customers in various ways but we do lean back too, even if momentarily 'you could meet me for the ones you can and do the hard work, and I'll sit on the bench, yeah?' and puts hand out like deal?] Jimmy: [does a 💔 mime because we would love to see that murder spree but obvs shaking on that legit suggestion with a legit little smile cos we're chuffed she's actually accepting a hand in any way] Janis: ['I can do more hard work with the plan' like all the socials whilst I sit there honey and mimes taking creep shots of him] Jimmy: [OTT 😍 to hide the realness, then he remembers that speaking of, he obvs won't have done a doodle for her today so gesture for her to stay put while we run and get a pen and paper right now immediately but as we're going we turn back like oh! again 'do you want the bag  peas chucked back for a bit?'] Janis: [going to shake our head automatically but then checking ourself like oop 'might freeze to my skin out here, like' shrugs 'but go ahead'] Jimmy: [does bring a blanket with all the other shit because we just wanna be out here away from kids and dogs soz] Janis: [day #1 of this hol and we're done lmao, little kids do be feral when it's this close to xmas, even good ones like bobby] Jimmy: [yeah and don't even start me on how all the pressure for having a good christmas is on him because Ian isn't that bitch and Cass is highkey hoping their mum will appear even though they've moved and that ain't happening babe soz] Janis: [mHMM thank god Ian is a buy your love type so he will get them presents, it's just the rest] Jimmy: [what are you doodling today boy, obvs some kind of domestic af cooking moment but no #spoilers gals] Janis: [just get snuggled in these blankets and make sure he is too] Jimmy: [can't and won't stop the happy sigh because we've been so stressed] Janis: [some joke about art being his 💘 but we're glad obvs] Jimmy: [🙄 but 😏] Janis: [tryna peep at what he is drawing though, obvs x2] Jimmy: [will playfully get you with this pen like oi] Janis: [offended like where's my pen 'play fair' accidentally saucy] Jimmy: [we know he'll give you that pen and just write on you/tickle you in his fave manner, drawing a 🏆 like we're playing to win not fairly hen] Janis: [just loling like get off 'cos ticklish af 'we're meant to be a team, dickhead' and draws her own 🏆 with 'worst sport' in the plaque thing] Jimmy: [draws the JJ 💘 really big and deliberate to really tickle and also make a point like okay] Janis: [a question mark when we've stopped squirming like do you really get it though, also a throwback] Jimmy: [a LOOK like do you] Janis: [just nods and gives the pen back like okay, finish your drawing] Jimmy: [does and again signs it like a big nerd before giving it to her] Janis: [we love it hun but we never know what to say 'tah for not giving away the poison plot in your art like an idiot' and putting it away to photo later in an indoor light moment] Jimmy: [a noise like not an amateur tah and going to make tea because 1.northern 2. it's cold 3. he doesn't know what to say/is awks about his art too] Janis: you're in the wrong profession Jimmy: ? Janis: 1. artiste 2. only old ladies order pots of tea, yeah? Jimmy: 1. why be starving when there's loads of 🍪🥐🥪🍰 going at the job I've got 2. bit sexist to the 👴 Janis: 1. 🐷 2. tell me they ain't always with their 👵 Jimmy: 1. Only 💕🐕's you, I get it 💔🦝🗑 2. sounds fake, so obvs I'll 🗨 it to you, mate Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: miss you an' all Janis: You could see me from there if you really wanted Jimmy: [peeps from the kitchen window like hey] Janis: [waving like oh hey you fool] Jimmy: [signs something feelsy because she won't understand it we're safe] Janis: [big ? in the air} Jimmy: [just loling like nope as we mime confusion like idk what you mean or want rn soz because we're taking that to our grave] Janis: [shouting 'bring me my fucking tea' manners and decorum] Jimmy: [does and a box of some kind of festive biscuit selection that the children have already got at so there's only shit ones left lowkey but still] Janis: ['you know how to treat a girl' when we're saying it like we're joking but not really lmao] Jimmy: [shove a biscuit in your mouth boy so you don't say anything you wish you hadn't and also because we're making a bants point like yeah so romantic me] Janis: [wipe the crumbs from his bottom lip like he did 'oi, I've had an idea' softer than that oi suggests, we're not shouting now lol] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her lips once she's touched his like is that your idea, focus please sir 'go on'] Janis: [failing to pretend we didn't notice that but still carry on tah 'well #2 and every fucker on her street is gonna have excessive lights and decorations about, what do you reckon to shrinking their energy bill? if we go out when they're asleep, they'll not notice, and we could get back here and do your house before your brother and sister wake up' like how magical even you will love it don't lie cass] Jimmy: [when you can't help genuinely grinning because that's such a good idea we're falling in love rn okay like he's gonna have felt so bad about not having the time, money or energy to decorate, gotta recover ourselves again quick so does an IRL 🤞 'all her pink glittery baubles'll really get Ian in the christmas spirit' but really we're not thinking about him and it'll look epic Janis: [grin back 'cos it's infectious ''cos no way am I sleeping in a room with that lot in' and shrug like, we may as well, as if you remotely had to suggest anything of the sort] Jimmy: ['give us nightmares if all them calories don't' never miss a opportunity to shade the flatwhites honey] Janis: ['I can protect you from them, but not the calories, I'm so sorry' 😏] Jimmy: [eats another biscuit like I reckon I'll live] Janis: [an impression of a Mia shade face like you fat bitch] Jimmy: [an impression of Ella being 😭💔 DEVASTATED] Janis: [snatching the tin like no more for you, and getting one all smug like delicious] Jimmy: [OTT Jimothy pout because always] Janis: [flippant 'deal with it, babes' 'cos mustn't linger LOOKING at him again] Jimmy: [cringing in a way that is OTT but not that fake because she's too good at these impressions and chucking the blanket over her head like begone] Janis: [had enough years of this hoe being present to be an expert, just pulling the blanket down and around our shoulders like ha ha more for me, but gesturing that he should move closer and get under to keep warm too] Jimmy: [does because any excuse to snuggle and likewise play with her hair like it's so in my way rn lemme just] Janis: [hence I got you the present I did honey heheheh, know we're likewise here for this] Jimmy: [just having a moment ™] Janis: [one of the kids should need you or Twix should start wildin' soz boys] Jimmy: [yeah realistically it could be time for Bobby to go to bed depending what time she came over/he could have woken up] Janis: [either way honey, you better skeddale so he can sort this] Jimmy: [we know you're both fuming but especially him because he was gonna carry you to mcvickers gaff] Janis: [soz boy, you can be the most tomorrow though] Jimmy: [we both know he will LOL] Jimmy: [also gonna say he opens up at the CG because putting in a quick shift and doing any dog walking he can for the bae all before this friendmas has even started is just the difference between him and the gals, with the exception of Grace] Janis: [wig tea sis] Jimmy: [tired before you even get there] Janis: [we are that sick of y'all so it's a mood, frankly, but for now] Janis: night Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: you better be hopping back, dickhead Janis: [video of her hopping like don't fall] Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 you Jimmy: 🦩 goals if nowt else Janis: 🤔 not not a compliment Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: the first bit were Janis: True Janis: pretend I didn't see the rest Jimmy: 🙈🙈🙈 Janis: I've learnt my lesson with blindfolds, tah Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: and here's me with no chance to find out if sir's gonna be more receptive to my kinks Janis: find out if he's alright with broken bones Janis: gonna say unlikely, he flipped his shit over some cut ties Jimmy: @ something about virgin school girls Janis: mhmm Janis: he'd much rather injure you than the other way 'round Janis: it's alright, maybe tomorrow Janis: don't need to be blinded by the decor tbh Jimmy: should've got you a onesie to zip over your head, up for that challenge, massive though it is Janis: oh yeah, the gimp range Janis: 🙄 Janis: you have to pretend to be pleased to see my beautiful face, remember Jimmy: tah for the reminder, would've forgot and done full Home Alone 😱 Janis: yeah, you're about as annoying as that little fucker Janis: tracks Jimmy: rude Jimmy: you'd be chuffed if I had his house Janis: what for? Janis: so I could get you tenants and take the cash? Jimmy: 'cause what's fake mine is fake yours Jimmy: and you must have a bigger 🧠 in that MASSIVE head than the robbers he had to see off Janis: if I was worried about that, I'd let Mia make the moves she wants to Jimmy: so ominous, that Janis: 💋 not 💀 Jimmy: I'd rather 💀💀💀 Jimmy: but you crack on Janis: that's why I said IF I gave a fuck Jimmy: if as massive as her 😍 for her daddy, I get it Janis: thank god it's at Ella's Janis: wouldn't be getting away from hers unmolested Jimmy: can't move for mistletoe, I bet Janis: Baby, it's cold outside Janis: 😈 Jimmy: What IS in that drink? 😏 Janis: me checking yours tomorrow so they don't do my job for me Jimmy: Bill's 👻'll only let us have owt off each other's lips, it'll take fucking ages to 💀💀💀 Janis: you're just an actor on his stage and a player in his 🌍 Janis: have to suck it up and deal with the torture Jimmy: 👍 Janis: No enthusiasm needed 'til tomorrow Janis: 👋 then Jimmy: don't need an early night, you said Janis: your brother seemed like he did though Janis: not trying to get in the way of that top brother 🏆 Jimmy: 🍪 sugar crash did him before us Janis: fair Janis: feeling it and all Janis: still buzzing though Jimmy: yeah? Janis: 😵 🥴 🤢 🤮 scale Janis: I'm solidly 🥴 Jimmy: lightweight Janis: I don't work in a cafe Jimmy: and what? Janis: 🍪🥐🥪🍰 Jimmy: never pull your weight, you Janis: just 'cos you eat yours in baked goods Janis: one of us has to be 💪 Jimmy: hang on, who's been carrying who? Janis: I would carry you Janis: you monopolized it by crippling me Jimmy: convenient excuse that Janis: okay, you aren't 💀👑 daddy don't try it Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: rudest bollocks you've ever said to me Jimmy: how dare you TBH Janis: come back when you've got your law degree and fathered a demon Janis: then we'll talk Jimmy: I'll chuck 'em both at your window, Juliet 📜👶 Janis: 😍 Janis: just don't break it Janis: my window, that is Jimmy: any 👶 of mine's gonna be a right fat bastard, nowt I can do about that, soz Janis: soft landing Janis: all's well that ends well Jimmy: do what you like with the broken glass, so crafty, you Janis: depends if you're gonna come in Janis: obviously Jimmy: it's how it's written Janis: ? Jimmy: I get your attention, you give me it Jimmy: hang your head out or Bill will be fuming Janis: unfortunately there ain't no pool under my window Janis: but that's probably not an original feature of the play Janis: just an excuse to see Leo all bedraggled Jimmy: get him wet to do the same for all the lasses 👀🍿 Janis: poetic Jimmy: IKR Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: Shame it's not festive or I'd suggest it Jimmy: fucking hell, if they're gonna force us to watch Elf, sod the plan, I'll 💀💀💀 myself Jimmy: another poem for you Janis: 1. hot 2. I refuse, think it's gotta be illegal to force us to watch it, it's in the geneva convention, yeah? I'll ask daddy Jimmy: @ him Janis: @litigationandtitilation Jimmy: 😂 Janis: she helped him come up with it Jimmy: DUH, nowt they don't do together Janis: 💕 Janis: dead jealous Jimmy: me an' all Janis: we'll all get to bond over our daddy issues Janis: can't wait Jimmy: #realgoals Janis: obviously Janis: I ain't got them any gifts, have you? Jimmy: I'm working, I'll bring 'em a latte Jimmy: menu full of 🎄 bollocks they ain't bothered to work through yet Janis: how disappointing they'll literally be thrilled Janis: too 😍 to handle, you Jimmy: you gonna meet me there or what? Janis: 🤔 Janis: probably the most #goals if we arrive together Janis: and fuck knows how far they can see from her tower Janis: I could come to your work Janis: pick you and the lattes up 💪🏆 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👌 Janis: just lemme know when you're finishing up then Jimmy: I'll make you something that ain't poisoned Janis: that a threat? Jimmy: more #goals to call it a romantic gesture Janis: 'course Jimmy: get your head in the game, girl Janis: it is Janis: just working out if there's any ways we can fuck it up before even arriving Jimmy: what, like get 💀👑 hopes up and then piss on them even harder? Janis: yeah, like that Janis: or get all the rest on our side, somehow Janis: that'd fuck her off no end Jimmy: so go on, what would it take? Jimmy: other than 💀#2 there's no challenge in it Jimmy: piss easy it were to get Asia to invite us Janis: you're probably more of an expert than me then Janis: like, we've got to make it actually a decent time, the kinda party they wanna have Janis: instead of what 📸s well Janis: and what Mia allows Janis: but we can't just fully steamroll in and be blatant about it Janis: or 💀👑 & 💀#2 would pull ranks Jimmy: what kind of party do they wanna have? Janis: they never look like they're having fun Janis: they're dead in the eyes Janis: even if it ain't my exact idea of, sure we can come up with better, right? Jimmy: easy when we put our massive heads together Janis: Asia is the easiest, we could basically ask her and she'd tell us without clocking Jimmy: hang on then Jimmy: Grace were #livingherbestlife when she punched you with a beauty blender, I'll let her 💄💅 me if it pushes 💀👑 off the scale Janis: I'm sure that's just pent-up anger issues Janis: but maybe you've messed up her order one too many times 🔪🔪 Jimmy: deliberately Jimmy: my only joy, that Janis: 😂 Janis: might have a tiny bit of respect for you now Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: pretend to be her boyfriend for a change and you can do one of those tag videos Jimmy: you're alright, my CV'll survive without that oscar Janis: 😏 Janis: fair Janis: don't need the rumours Jimmy: if she wants footage, WE'LL get her some, as a team, dickhead Janis: she will be 📽 Janis: so alright Jimmy: always ready for a close up, me Jimmy: and you do alright keeping up an' all Janis: wait 'til I ain't hopping, like Jimmy: that's her, what does the big one want? Janis: you haven't 👀 her about doing this weird dances? Jimmy: steady on, she WEREN'T having seizures? Janis: yeah, I know Janis: it's shocking Jimmy: you'll fuck your other ankle, I ain't having that Janis: you volunteer then? Jimmy: there's gotta be something else they do on that app Janis: are you interested in miming the lyrics to a shitty dance song? Jimmy: POV: your 👻 fake boyfriend Janis: you can go for that oscar Janis: I hope she doesn't try to be funny, or if she does, then I need to watch all her content rn Janis: welcome for the view Jimmy: might win 💀👑 over with the one where I play her dad Janis: 💀💀💀💀💀 Jimmy: or better yet 💀#2 when I have a go at 💀👑 Janis: the plan isn't you seduce everyone Janis: friends not 💦💦 boy Jimmy: it's a fucked plan then Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: you're that insatiable or irresistible? Jimmy: I'll be that itchy Jimmy: jumper's coming off any road Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: *😍 Janis: I'll bring it tomorrow, babe Jimmy: UGH FINE Janis: put your tits away Janis: honestly Jimmy: SO jealous, you Janis: Ha Janis: SO original, you Jimmy: your tits can have 🥈 Joanne, nowt wrong with them or that Janis: Piss off Janis: 💀👑 tell you it don't count if it's just fat Jimmy: 😱😱😱 OMFG! 😱😱😱 Jimmy: should've said you wanted to get her hopes up with a fake breakup Janis: would be well triggering, no doubt Janis: only talk to argue, her lot, you can tell Jimmy: #relatable Jimmy: gonna have to 💀💀💀 myself now Jimmy: been nice fake knowing you, my dear Janis: oh no you don't Janis: not being a fake widow Janis: can't pretend to be that 💔💔💔 for the rest of my life Jimmy: @iantaylor8 with your 💔😭🎻 Jimmy: can't have owt in common with that lot for a day in my life, tah Janis: I'll feel sorry for you when you're fucking twins with one of them Jimmy: So you want my pity? Don't sound like you but alright Janis: nah, just won't be giving you no 🤗 and 😘 Jimmy: What then? What's my 🎁? Janis: 🕞👀 Jimmy: Come on, I'll fake the surprise Janis: don't get too excited Janis: I haven't nicked you no 💎 Jimmy: bit rude but that's probably my fault for not sitting on your lap and telling you what I want Janis: not too late Janis: see what her ma has lying about Janis: but yeah, if you'd have been more prepared, maybe I woulda been too Jimmy: just the odd 💍👑💼💰 or 🐴 nbd Janis: you're demanding now but you've missed your chance Janis: gutted Jimmy: not too late, you said Janis: you might get A 💎 Janis: can't do the full list now Jimmy: [pouty face 🥺 selfie, we're coming for your life Savannah, soz] Janis: what's in it for me if you ain't gonna sit on my lap? 🎅 Jimmy: never said I wouldn't Janis: 🔊 is cheap Janis: 🐴 are expensive Jimmy: what were it you said, tomorrow, babe Jimmy: giving someone a bell to install a pool or a balcony as I 🗨'd expensive an' all Janis: I've got patience to 🕞👀 Jimmy: good Jimmy: we're just that starcrossed, girl, nowt to be done about it Janis: or lots to do Janis: depending on your point of view Jimmy: lots of 🕞👀 'cause that's your #kink Janis: must be Jimmy: and mine's doing owt for you 💕 Janis: what more could I ask for Janis: ❌🎅 Jimmy: what more do you want? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: ? Janis: ? Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: You can surprise me Jimmy: alright Janis: is it? Jimmy: isn't it? Janis: alright, alright Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: it'll be good Janis: tomorrow Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: [picture to prove you are at mcvickers] Jimmy: [a picture back of Bobby and Twix snoozing all over you] Janis: looks cozy Jimmy: *uncomfortable Jimmy: speaking of, I'll bring you the 👑 back tomorrow, you can chuck it on instead of a cracker hat Janis: Bless Janis: 🤞 there's no one sleeping in my bed Janis: 💡💡 Jimmy: 🐻🐻🐻 Janis: sounds like a party in theory Jimmy: 🔑's [wherever there is a key hidden] if you need to come back Janis: be even weirder for your poor brother if I got in his whilst you're all 🥳 Jimmy: not like he'll hear you come in Jimmy: you or the 🐻🐻🐻 Janis: don't tell him that as his next bedtime story Janis: should be good though, but cheers Jimmy: 👍 Janis: though it's tempting as it's the furthest you've wanted to let me walk in ages Jimmy: want's pushing it Jimmy: but I've seen your top 🦩 impression now Janis: I get it Janis: you wanna see it more Janis: well attractive Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: 🎪🤹🤡 you Jimmy: dead chuffed to see your trapeze next Janis: suppose freak can be a compliment Janis: in the right context Jimmy: [puts it in the right context for a pisstakey 🔥 sext] Janis: yeah Janis: like that Janis: 🥇 asshole Jimmy: 🥉 more like Janis: why's that Jimmy: a 🥇 dickhead ain't that easy to ✔ off as a dickhead Janis: you wanted 😳 Janis: it's not not happening but I don't need to admit it Jimmy: if I wanted 😳 I'd get it Jimmy: with no need for you to admit owt Janis: alright then Janis: take your 🥉 Jimmy: you're alright Janis: time for bed then, dickhead Jimmy: as a piss off goes, I've heard worse Janis: I've done better Janis: but it must be the sugar crash Jimmy: I can do better with compliments an' all Janis: so you say Jimmy: and 🖋 Janis: I'm not doubting your fake boyf ability Jimmy: that weren't what I said Janis: or your 🎨 Jimmy: weren't bringing that up either Janis: come on Jimmy: what? Janis: 🤯 Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: it's mutual Janis: don't worry Jimmy: you heard, I can do better, nowt to be 🤯 or do a 🥁 for Janis: You can't tell me what to do or not to do either way Jimmy: that ain't what I'm trying to do Janis: that's good then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I know you have a dog and a kid kicking you right now Janis: but you really need the beauty sleep Jimmy: rude Janis: you're ruder Jimmy: how am I? Janis: you're just Janis: I don't know Janis: but worse than me Janis: sure of that Jimmy: I were just trying to be less of a twat right then Janis: 😂 Janis: you just confuse me Janis: you aren't like 😡 🤬 rude right now Jimmy: it ain't my fault you can't take a compliment or apology attempt, dickhead Janis: I tried to take a compliment and you said it barely was one Janis: that's what I mean Janis: you're just weird and it's SO rude that you're letting Mia be right, tbh Jimmy: 'cause it weren't Jimmy: a pisstake's a pisstake, a compliment's a compliment Janis: then where have you tried to say sorry or anything not a pisstake Jimmy: what the fuck else does I can do better mean? Janis: Alright, God Janis: don't act like I'm thick Janis: you ain't speaking English Jimmy: bit racist Jimmy: this ain't even a voice memo Janis: yeah, you're well oppressed Jimmy: tah for recognising it, mate Janis: annoying, that's the word I was looking for Jimmy: funny'll do for you, oh hang on, nah Jimmy: meant to go the other way there Janis: yeah the sign of a proper jokes person is cracking yourself up Janis: 👌 babes Jimmy: piss off to bed, babes Janis: don't be jealous of all the space I've got Janis: gonna proper stretch out Jimmy: like I said, well unfunny you Janis: you can't escape when he's proper asleep? Jimmy: to where? Janis: your bed? Janis: his, if that is where you are Jimmy: his is a little kid bed, not stretching out in there Jimmy: 💔😭🎻 Janis: You poor thing Janis: bunk bed sharing would almost be preferable Jimmy: yeah Janis: at least your brother don't vape Jimmy: #ultimatesilverlining Janis: ☀ Jimmy: tah Jimmy: proper cheered now Janis: have only got a single here Janis: not living that luxurious Jimmy: and a 🐻 bear either side, you'll be fucked when the 3rd one comes through after having a piss Janis: better off taking my chances in the park? Janis: still time for that as well Jimmy: never nursed a dickhead with hypothermia before, decent way to pad out my CV Janis: 😒 Janis: yeah, go on Janis: just a neverending case study, me Jimmy: 🥇 muse in every way Janis: real or pisstake Jimmy: reckon I'd be able to 👀 you from here, could be a real inspiration Janis: you probably could anyway, nearly Janis: live pretty close but not giving any more away Janis: gotta keep the privacy and mystery, like Jimmy: brb gotta start a new 📷 IG Jimmy: @longlens Janis: 😂 Janis: if I've got a stalker I'm definitely 🥇 Janis: #madeit Jimmy: you do now Jimmy: 👋👀 Janis: get in Janis: mum'll be so proud Jimmy: got nowt else to do but crack on looking in windows til I find yours, mine'll chuffed to bits an' all Janis: Bill's 👻 will be Janis: unless you get distracted by some other random, then he'll be raging Jimmy: it's his script, I'd just be sticking to it Janis: that's going off script Janis: the other girl is before Janis: don't just get the wrong balcony and change your mind Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: it's Bill's 👻 not me Janis: he don't like improv Jimmy: harder to please than Lucas, him Janis: I'm doing alright 😇 Jimmy: he reckons your tits are 🥇 no accounting for taste Janis: nothing wrong with 🥈 Jimmy: when it's around your neck Janis: the view helps, yeah Janis: #toptits Jimmy: 😏 Janis: not your fault I'm exactly his type Janis: don't feel bad Jimmy: we can both wear the white 👰 but it don't make us exactly his type Jimmy: he'd be the one to call you a slag Janis: you have defiled me Janis: told you that's why he's so pissed off Jimmy: you gonna take an apology for that then? Janis: be a bit weird if you apologized Janis: was the plan Janis: just unfortunate collateral, him Jimmy: it weren't actually Janis: 'course it was Janis: nothing #goals about celibacy Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: was just a joke Janis: I don't need an apology Jimmy: don't you? Janis: no Janis: why do you think I do? Jimmy: why have I got it in your own words loads of times that you reckon it shouldn't have happened if you don't? Janis: No, I only meant it like Janis: it's made things awkward now, is why we shouldn't have Janis: not in a, I didn't want to at the time way Janis: it's not like you did anything wrong Jimmy: and what, it weren't awkward for you before? Janis: What, like I've got loads of past experience with how to navigate a fake dating scenario? Jimmy: exactly my point Jimmy: it were weird as soon as I suggested it Janis: granted Janis: it's just weirder now you don't want to but we still have to fake shit Janis: if we'd not gone there, that wouldn't factor into the overall headfuckery Jimmy: I don't want to what? Janis: not fake it Janis: sometimes, like Jimmy: we've not talked about what I do or don't want Jimmy: so that's bollocks for a start Janis: it ain't Janis: I can read a room Jimmy: so can I, don't be putting it all on me like I fucked it Janis: I weren't but you clearly are so cheers for that Jimmy: you said me, I ain't speaking for you Janis: I haven't said you've fucked anything up Jimmy: I've made it weirder is what you said Janis: no, it IS weirder Janis: 'cos of decisions we both made Jimmy: that's a cop out Jimmy: I can also read between the lines and that's you reckoning the decisions you're making now are right and mine are bollocks Janis: all I'm trying to do is not be a massive twat here Janis: it's not right or wrong Janis: I can't help if I still wanna but I'm not gonna whinge about it like some nice guy or something as lame Jimmy: nicely done then Janis: fine Janis: fuck this Jimmy: I don't get what your problem is Janis: what do you mean? Janis: how do you not get that I'm accepting what you want and dealing with it and you're just taking the piss Jimmy: I've never said I want that Janis: What? Jimmy: when or where have I? Janis: that you don't want me to just do what I want and not give a fuck about what you do? Janis: it's just a given that I won't be a total cunt like that, surely Jimmy: you heard me, you don't know what I want Jimmy: dunno why it's a given that you'd just guess Janis: then tell me Janis: why am I guessing Jimmy: you've got some bollocks 💭 in your head that's nowt to do with me or what I've 🗨 Jimmy: that'll be why Janis: tell me Jimmy: It didn't feel like a mistake to me Janis: that's the opposite of what I thought you thought Janis: alright Jimmy: you were being a massive twat, keep up, we've done that bit Janis: no, great Janis: actually got to go bludgeon myself with a big rock now Jimmy: don't Jimmy: it's a job to talk to you when you ain't brain damaged Janis: I'm serious Janis: and I'm sorry Janis: jesus fucking christ Jimmy: me an' all, dunno if it's safe for you to go to this friendmas 'cause you obvs CAN'T read a room, sweetheart Jimmy: could be deadly serious, that Janis: I know I deserve it but please shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: why haven't you done anything about it then Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: if you can read a room, allegedly Janis: works both ways right Jimmy: you said it shouldn't have happened, how else would you like me to read into that? Jimmy: a mistake is what I heard Janis: I said that when you called me a slag Jimmy: but I didn't Jimmy: and what works both ways an' all is that you haven't done owt since then either Janis: yeah, because from my point of view, you called me easy, I made you apologize for it and then you ain't come near me since Janis: I'm not killing myself for no reason Janis: you've never said bullshit when you're fuming? Jimmy: I ain't the baby Jesus Jimmy: 'course I have Jimmy: and will do again, might be to you Janis: There you go then Janis: I said it was a mistake 'cos it sounded like you reckoned as much Janis: we may as well be on the same page Janis: didn't want to be that twat but that worked out well Jimmy: it just Jimmy: touched a nerve, alright Janis: yeah Janis: alright Janis: clearly so did the easy thing so not gonna judge Jimmy: our lives are headfucks, that's why we need this to make it easier Janis: that was meant to be the idea Janis: we just need to Janis: replan Janis: maybe? Jimmy: we just need to talk to each other Janis: easier said than done Janis: but yeah Janis: not wrong Jimmy: if I have to spell it out and stick my CAPS on, I can do Jimmy: I work in customer service, like Janis: that's lovely Janis: really wanna be compared to one of your customers Jimmy: hey, you know you're way too fit and mysterious Janis: barely at this point Janis: I've come across as a total fucking state Jimmy: Oi, we can do this ☀ girl Janis: I'm up for listening Janis: and I won't infer the rest, that much is a deal Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🩸🖋 Jimmy: We going to the park then or what? Janis: we don't have to speak when we get there, do we? Jimmy: bit rude you ain't gonna recite a sonnet to me, Jules, but I'll live Janis: maybe another night Janis: but I'm still pretty fucking mortified right now so you gotta promise Jimmy: we're doing alright if you're promising me another night Jimmy: and I'm clearly on fine form for giving you more accidental poetry so Janis: shame to waste it? Janis: I guess you can but don't expect me to because I'm better when I keep it shut Jimmy: you're Janis: don't finish that before I've had the chance to change your mind Jimmy: as promises go, I reckon I can keep that one Janis: and I can promise it'll be worth it Jimmy: go on Jimmy: before you stop saying owt to me Janis: I promise Janis: that you're gonna have even more to say about me and even less idea how to say it Jimmy: I Jimmy: there, you're managing to stop me going on already Janis: I don't mind when you go on Janis: just not what I want right now Jimmy: time and a place to be on script, I get it Janis: exactly Janis: and you've gotta be off the clock sometimes Jimmy: @ my manager in a bit Jimmy: just not right now Janis: not invited Jimmy: and you can't hop and @ Janis: don't challenge me Jimmy: nursing kink ain't gonna go away when your ankle stops being the size of your head Jimmy: gotta plan ahead Janis: you could just look after me Janis: I'll fake whatever injury you fancy Jimmy: how many oscars you after? Janis: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: get a hop on then Janis: Am Janis: not trying to get caught mid-hop though so 🤫 Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: you could just tell me where you are and have a hand, I ain't allowed to be the one who 💀💀💀 you Janis: I could Janis: was mainly arsed about getting caught in the gaff but still Janis: be quicker Janis: [location] Jimmy: if I get there and there ain't no nan or granddad I'll chuck you the log ins for the stalker account Janis: like I've made 'em up Janis: and I've broke into a house just to be close-by? Janis: I don't reckon I'm that dedicated Jimmy: dunno about that, all I know is I could spit and you'd be hopping on a wet foot Janis: 🤤 would've been more romantic, Romeo Jimmy: Oi, I deliberately didn't say piss to be more romantic Janis: erm, talk to me!!! 😤😤😤 Janis: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: alright fine, I'll piss on the side of the house you're squatting in, stop begging Janis: 😂 Janis: good luck Janis: it's freezing Jimmy: sounds like some weird ⛄ challenge, I'd better film it for Tammy's tiktok Janis: SO thoughtful, babe Janis: just giving her that clout for free Jimmy: just that kind of dickhead, me Janis: I'll @ you in my glowing review later Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [show up boy it's really not far] Jimmy: which window am I climbing up to with a 🌹 in my 🦷🦷 Janis: you mean, which bit of pavement am I gonna be scraping you off of when you slip to your 💀💀💀 Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: your nan'll love the 💕 if you don't bother directing me Janis: I'll remember to pick up your 🦷🦷 and all Janis: [but flashing the light of the room you in like sup] Jimmy: wrap 'em up for Asia and it's job done on winning them all over Jimmy: [get your bae Jimothy] Janis: 💕🎁 Jimmy: [please don't actually die lol] Janis: [at least there is a genuine ladder up lmao, just don't wake the child or mcvickers] Jimmy: [now isn't the time for you to recite shakespeare, another time nerd] Janis: [you gotta be quiet, which is why we're not staying 'cos we know the vibe] Jimmy: [likewise why we're not going to his house either even though it's cold af] Janis: [soz about it but not, you're young and you'll be warm af soon enough] Jimmy: [gotta do what you gotta do lads and the park has those good mems and the graffiti you did so] Janis: [enjoy ladies] Jimmy: [until you have to go to work live your best life] Janis: [at least you have reconciled to totally boss this friendmas] Jimmy: [soz I ruined the tension but it would've been hard to concentrate on ruining Mia's life with that hanging over you] Janis: [we go with the flow honey] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to friendmas if you want unless you wanna have a CG work moment] Janis: [like you could but you probably shouldn't sleep out here again all night so yes, we could do a little CG moment] Jimmy: [gotta go there for the first time at some point, get that off menu smoothie and some food that's actually vaguely edible] Janis: [have cute moments, even though we know none of the flatwhites will be there] Jimmy: [we can post them to annoy Mia before we even get there because we all know Pablo isn't coming] Janis: [try one of calebs other kids hen, might be easier to use] Jimmy: [teach the bae how to do festive latte art they'll be jealous af and the manager is never there either] Janis: [do have some funny latte art pics, along with whatever we invariably actually bring yous] Jimmy: [#fated] Janis: [I kinda want you to go out and get them something pisstakey but I really cannot think what] Jimmy: [it would be funny, hmm what could we do?] Janis: [some kind of game/drinking game/or forbidden food vibe, actual fun Mia would not be happy about is the point] Jimmy: [things should totally get said during these games that they have for more blackmail potential to add to her cheating on the school trip] Jimmy: [I'm just debating whether Asia should have a bf who comes like we did at that sleepover that time or if we wanna save that for another time] Janis: [spill that tea ladies, we all know it don't take much for you to turn on each other so] Janis: [and I vote no, I think, plenty of opportunities to do that later though] Jimmy: [fair, Mia probably is hoping Asia'll seduce Jimothy so can't have a bf in the way] Janis: [and it's just BFF goals vibes, like you aren't allowed boys because they aren't important, soz Asia you hoe] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [can't let lads know how weird you all are] Jimmy: [the scolding tea] Janis: [pretending to be normal is for real xmas with your fams hens] Jimmy: [I don't need to be thinking about you gals at christmas thanks] Janis: [teenage xmas is the worst tbh] Jimmy: [agreed] Jimmy: [do you think there's any decorations they could steal out of the CG or are they too hipstery?] Janis: [I think we could probably get decent indoor ones from there, steal a lil tree moment] Jimmy: [do it while the flatwhites aren't there because Mia and Ella are snitches and he don't need to get fired this close to christmas] Janis: [do it at the start of your shift and hide it, who's noticing this close to xmas, no hoe except them so stay away] Jimmy: [we need this christmas cheer excuse us] Janis: [kids would do it anyway or they'd get broke, get a life gals] Jimmy: [we're trying to save christmas for Bobby here so bye] Janis: [it'll be magical and we're stealing your lights bitch bye] Jimmy: [Ella doesn't need them, not sorry] Janis: [also, not related but meet Pete too] Jimmy: [not in a way that makes him 😒 and jealous though we've only just reconciled] Janis: [my boo says give me my fluff] Jimmy: [defs gonna draw JJ and Twix tangled up in christmas lights for today's doodle once they've decorated so there's my fluff] Janis: [that's cute af get it boy] Janis: [we can go through lowkey and then stop whenever we wanna fully do something, so, should we be one of the first to get there or last what's the vibe] Jimmy: [I think first like it's just Mia and obvs Ella cos it's her house LOL there because they'd hate that and I said Grace was late, it makes sense Hollie would be too because she's even more done with them] Janis: [that's a mood, oh gals, how welcome are you gonna make them feel] Jimmy: [can't even do the gift exchange until everyone gets here, how awkward, good thing Jimothy will shamelessly request a house tour] Janis: [the casual side-eye you're gonna have to hold in, like lemme pretend to be so uninterested in your house which is undeniably big without coming off as salty] Jimmy: [he'll carry you through this gaff gal, nothing will annoy Ella and Mia more than when you're more into each other and being coupley af than the rich gal flexes in every room] Janis: [at least we can play up how bad the ankle is again, get me ice ho] Jimmy: [Ella never did get any sympathy she'll be fuming, play up that nursing conveniently like when you get to Ella's room like oops gotta just rest here for a bit soz] Janis: [just regaling how much he's looked after you like that bitch] Jimmy: [as he fusses over you, god bless, we're literally gonna do all we can to make Mia storm out and back downstairs haha] Janis: [ergo asking where Pablo is, like oh, thought he'd be here] Jimmy: [Jimothy is so amused he's gonna hide his face in the bae] Janis: [just lowkey ignoring her to be subtly all over him when she rants about the importance of gal time or whatever like mhmm interesting] Jimmy: [literally why wasn't he banned if that's true hun, hence he'll be even more unsubtly all over her until we're genuinely ignoring the gals] Janis: [we all know it's one rule for you and another for them but that didn't pan out lololol, awkward when you'd wanna watch for an uncomfortable amount of time Mia, make Asia show please so you can't] Jimmy: [go answer the door to her so they can have a moment but also snoop through Ella's shit thank you] Janis: [just like where it the shrine honey] Jimmy: [shame it's so far in the future that she wouldn't have a paper diary for them to find, unless like they used to have those kid ones and Ella kept hers because the golden age of this friendship obvs] Janis: [imagine how 1. gay it'd be 2. all the goss on them all, have a read of that lads] Jimmy: [take 📷 because you'll never know when you might need them] Janis: [get that relevant tea 'was her sister the donkey?' 'cos Asia is here and we remembering] Jimmy: [a little lol as we forlornly shake our head because she sadly was not and they missed a trick 'Mary' because why not 'makes sense why Joseph was having none of her' just calling a child ugly here nbd] Janis: [makes a face like she's so appalled like oh no 'your brother's year must be a real bunch of uggos' 'cos we're on the same wavelength here] Jimmy: ['not saying the director's onto something but as top casting for a homeless virgin who looks like she's had her head shut in a door goes..' trailing off with a shrug like we haven't just dragged a little girl to within an inch of her life] Janis: [violently shushing him as they come up, as if Asia would ever clock it, god bless, but then it just looks like you've got an amazing in joke 'cos it's like omg babe] Jimmy: [love that cos we've gotta actually be nice to Asia as she's the first person here you can actually get on your side, so use your barista charm boy] Janis: [compliment her jumper or something girl, can't let him do everything Jimmy: [and take some selfies with her that you can easily but subtly exclude the other 2 from cos 3's already a crowd huns] Janis: [love that, and Asia should have a boyf that she wanna talk about 'cos then you can actually let her gal and she'll be buzzing] Jimmy: [yassssss encourage her in all the ways those 2 don't and won't ever] Janis: [at least you can pretend you're throwing 😍 at him when really it's pained looks lmao] Jimmy: [and we can talk about the nativity and younger sibling christmas bs because those 2 bitchy only children could never] Janis: [mhmm, hopefully you love your sisters more than just accessories gal] Jimmy: [there's no way to know but JJ are slaying this so well done lads] Janis: [honestly need some kind of award 'cos it can't be overstated how hard Mia & Ella would be trying to bitch you both out] Jimmy: [hence I'm like is there anything else you can do while it's just shameless stealing Asia tactics before the others get here because we know it's not hard to get those two on side] Janis: [Hmm, what's a stupid bitch want what's a stupid bitch need] Janis: [you'll want your latte before they go cold tbf] Jimmy: [I hope he's brought like some christmas ugly jumper biscuits from the CG because getting her hyped up on sugar will only make her more annoying] Janis: [she's basically a child, just let her live in the ways they don't tbh and she'll be thrilled] Jimmy: [literally talking to her about what she wants for christmas like she is a child LOL] Janis: [try not to cackle, but we are 1000% getting on his lap to make a sneaky point like easy 🎅} Jimmy: [never have to fake how into that we are and it's a great segue to tell her all the #goals shit we've been up to and all the festive coupley plans we have] Janis: [when you truly have like it sounds like so much, y'all will be jealous] Jimmy: [as if you aren't fuming enough by how touchy feely and loved up they are before they've even said a word] Janis: [trying to separate them but also don't want their help with anything, we see you] Jimmy: [at least when JJ have had enough they can go 🚬 and on a christmas lights scouting mission because it's #goals to go have a wander and look at lights and it gets dark early af so you can] Janis: [that is goals, don't lie, you probably need to get through dinner first my loves, just be overly helpful with the food prep so you can lowkey fuck it up and they'll be raging] Jimmy: [Grace will be buzzing when she gets there cos not only is Pablo not but she's the only one who has gifts for jj out of these gals] Janis: [thank god he ain't there, we would simply throw hands lmao, lord knows shit nan and the extra ex will be making an appearance soon] Jimmy: [Grace would have straight up walked in and straight back out again if he was and you know it Mia so good luck chatting shit about friendship then] Janis: [get to getting this starter everyone try not to actively vom at the table] Jimmy: [at least that would taste nice cos it's literally brie and cranberry and walnuts and honey so you're welcome everyone] Janis: [looking at y'all 💀💀 why do I feel like JJ need to go to the toilets immediately after like you two cannot, the shade of it all] Jimmy: [LOVE that] Janis: [sure you have more than 2 but we know what's being said huns] Jimmy: [the point has been made] Janis: 😈💩🤮❌ Jimmy: 🎻😭💔 Janis: oh no, is this the group chat? Janis: sorry Jimmy: *😱😱😱 Jimmy: if it were Janis: 😱😱😱😱😱 of 'em Jimmy: soz, you're dead right, babe Janis: though I don't think the big one is doing it right Janis: awks Jimmy: she'll be getting her bollocking now Janis: poor cow Janis: if I were to cast her in a nativity Janis: but I'm just seeing what meds they've got Jimmy: @Helena Janis: ugh, I wish Janis: what back problems is this flat-chested 💀 gonna have Jimmy: you're alright though, yeah? Janis: of course I am Janis: just potential dirt Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you alright? Jimmy: nowt wrong with my 🦶 Jimmy: might end up with back problems of my own if you ain't 💩🤮 in there but Helena'll sort it Janis: fuck off Janis: negging me, dickhead Jimmy: I get it, you're gutted there weren't no 🦒 at the birth of Jesus Jimmy: no need to take it out on me Janis: only elves in the christmas story, so you're no better off Jimmy: your 👂 kink is blatant, Jennifer Janis: psh Jimmy: not gonna stick that 💎 you owe me in mine if that's the best comeback you've got Janis: you're very annoying, I'm pretending to 💩🤮 Jimmy: no 👂's pressed against the door, putting you off? Janis: you tell me Janis: can I perform without an audience? Jimmy: we've not done 💩🤮 Janis: #kinkstillonlock Jimmy: [another pisstakey 🥺 selfie because gotta kill time in this bathroom somehow] Janis: do you reckon that's 💀#2 thing? Janis: 💀👑 is obviously killing people slowly Jimmy: bit weird you having that in common Janis: oh no Janis: have to speed it up Jimmy: ready when you are Janis: come here? Jimmy: [does] Janis: [have a little makeout moment because we're swagging this and deserve it Jimmy: [pick her up and sit her on the sink so she doesn't have to stand up and because it's a #mood] Janis: [so shook that we gasping but in a good way, like] Jimmy: [you can have a noise back gal because we're into it] Janis: [IRL 🥺 'cos we have to go back, even if we're purposefully taking ages here] Jimmy: [just doing the MOST to make her forget that we have to go back because we don't want to either] Janis: [at least there's a perfect excuse to be loud and extra so you can go 'til you get caught and someone is like excuse me get out lol] Jimmy: [the joys] Janis: [will definitely be Ella or Asia] Jimmy: [we know Mia sent you whichever one it is, probably Ella cos it's her house so she can be that bitch] Janis: [I mean, at least we didn't break your sink hun] Jimmy: [or fuck in your bed which we easily could have] Janis: [nights still young but yeah count your blessings xoxo anyway, the main meal, we probably know the vibe?] Jimmy: [you know Mia and Ella were in charge of that bit cos clearly giving Hollie pudding to call her a fat bitch and not trusting Asia with basically anything so it's not gonna be 🥇] Janis: [it's gonna be so bland with like low-fat everything and ew] Jimmy: [gonna have to start a cute little flirty food fight moment like Tony and Effy had, skins we see you and your incesty energy, when they made those faces then that spoon got flicked etc, so you don't have to eat this] Janis: [their energy was so strange lol, like they did go out so it probably didn't help but we see you, also doing a fake like you're going to eat it and you're trying to be polite but it's so gross soz we cannot] Jimmy: [everyone be pushing that food hardcore around their plates,, can't even do a feeding each other romantic moment because it's too grim] Janis: [like ladies, you can't binge and go to town for one day, not when the others can see, we get it] Jimmy: [save the day with whatever pudding you've brought Hollie thank you] Janis: [bitches be ravenous, at least we eat at the CG] Jimmy: [jimothy got your back gal, can and will eat again when you're decorating too so] Janis: [and it's time for presents] Jimmy: [I literally can't stress enough how happy and shook he's gonna be because feelsy gifts are not a thing in his life rn it's all on Bobby to make a cute card or whatever so his thank you hug will be very genuine and emosh and he'll write 'you're' on her back for that throwback because we are speechless and a ! for emphasis] Janis: [when you're lowkey thinking he's faking most of that at least but then he writes on you so you know it's real so then you're smiley af, enjoy that guys, you can't even shade 'cos it's personal and shit he wants and what do any of y'all know about that, and writing 'you' back] Jimmy: [the gals can't be shading anyway because they'll too busy DYING when he puts this necklace on her because it's intimate af, gotta gently move that hair out of the way, kiss the back of her neck in a soft way, the whole 9] Janis: [just fully ignoring them all and it ain't even fake, gotta be SO grateful excuse us] Jimmy: [we're in the moment and our feelings bitches] Janis: ['I can't even deal with you' talking more like them but where is the lie] Jimmy: [we gotta just kiss her because 1. what are words even fake words 2. you know exactly how to deal with me cos we're 🥇] Janis: [just ignore the 😒😒😒😒😒 you're getting for AGES then be like oh, please, open your presents] Jimmy: [just being couple goals casually in the background while the gals pretend to care about each other's gifts] Janis: [I live] Jimmy: [highlight of the day tbh] Janis: [you know they wrapping up and putting that shite film on so fast honey, like oh yeah, give them an excuse to cuddle under a blanket] Jimmy: [literally Mia is this close to kicking all of y'all out and it ain't even her house] Janis: [it's so funny how easy it is to piss y'all off, do have to remember to keep the rest vaguely on side though] Jimmy: [you've done well lads and we all know none of the gals actually wanna watch this film they probably do the same one every year, just on their phones super bored] Janis: [you gotta lowkey suggest you play a game instead like come on this is BOOOOOOOORING] Jimmy: [he's a boy he's allowed to hate rom coms so it's easily done] Janis: [you two 💀 can protest but clearly we're over it so you outnumbered even if Asia was like I don't mind or whatever] Jimmy: [get that tea, especially if it's a drinking game because they are all lightweights] Janis: [we know this could get passive-aggressive fast lol] Jimmy: [it will blatantly which is how we can bring this friendmas to an end without it looking like JJ's fault] Janis: [hohaha just like this is awkward gals] Jimmy: [run away and look at aka steal some lights lads, your work here is done] Janis: [you can go decorate his now and make the kids day] Jimmy: [though we might have to kill some time and do it when they're asleep because I doubt we were at Ella's that late] Janis: [true hen, we know we killed this party before tea time honestly lol] Jimmy: [walk some dogs together first of all] Janis: [get that cash babies] Jimmy: [they should come back and eat some actually nice christmassy snacks and watch a christmas film that doesn't suck and play a game with Bobby that doesn't end in murder like this is how easy it is to do better than you gals] Janis: [yes, 'cos 1. real 2. all they'd have to do was a couple of pics and everyone would know the flatwhites was a flop] Jimmy: [exactly and she hasn't met Bobby yet so I thought that'd be a nice chill way to do it cos not trying to make it a thing™] Janis: [yes, this is true, rip to not seeing your marvellous sheep performance hen] Jimmy: [and he can talk about wanting to see Santa to put that idea in jj's heads] Janis: [easy] Janis: Oi Janis: use your elf connections Jimmy: 🎅 or nowt, me Jimmy: [takes off that ugly christmas jumper in a pisstakey way like I've got the body for it] Janis: [😏 and pats his tummy like yeah] Jimmy: [fakes like he's gonna put a cushion up his top but then chucks it at her head] Janis: [whispers the obscenities behind Bobby's head] Jimmy: [signs something at her which is obvs 6 year old level insults to make Bobby lol and join in] Janis: [just getting dragged, fake cry so Twix comes to support you gal] Jimmy: [we'll teach you gal it's always useful] Janis: [love that] Jimmy: [at least if Cass comes back we can bribe her into walking some dogs for us because don't need the 😒 when we've just escaped the flatwhites] Janis: [at least you'll get some spends gal, because that age you can't even get your own job so it's pocket money purely] Jimmy: [win her over as well lads nicely done] Jimmy: 🏆🥇💪 us Janis: I'll be waiting for my card, like Jimmy: 🐾 an' all Janis: awh Janis: you don't need to sign it Janis: got the doodles Jimmy: subtle Jimmy: I ain't forgot I owe you one Janis: 🕥 Janis: gonna be THAT bitch 🙄 Jimmy: nowt more #goals than nagging a lad to 💀💀💀 babes Janis: except that friendmas, AM I RIGHT Jimmy: [IRL LOL because] Janis: [😏] Janis: kinda sad how easy that was Jimmy: [a shrug because we see them all the damn time at the CG we knew how easy it'd be] Jimmy: alright, I'll give you a challenge, girl, stop begging Janis: just saying Janis: BFFs it ain't Jimmy: and you'd never know from the group chat Janis: yeah Janis: the performance they put on would be almost impressive if it weren't tragic 'cos no one cares Jimmy: [chucks her some gingerbread house kit like there's your challenge babe because they always suck and never stick together and taste gross 'make that look goals and you'll impress me']] Janis: [obviously we're gonna do it 'cos can't turn a challenge, also roping Bobby into helping by letting him eat some of the sweets which are the only nice part of tbh, just LOOKing at him like 'why would I need to do that?' like is it don't care to or is it already have, we know] Janis: *down Jimmy: [Twix not helping but getting involved god bless her, we're giving her a LOOK back because always will hen 'might just be worth it' cos remember when she made that promise before they went to the park last night, he does] Janis: [God loves a trier Twix, lowkey feeding one of the gingerbread people to her and doing mini screams of terror as it gets its head chomped off lol, then having to hide our 😳s 'cos of course it will be and of course we do] Jimmy: [just watching this and falling in love nbd] Janis: [when you've inadvertently done them a solid there 'cos there's usually a mummy and a daddy and then 2 kids so like, fuck you Ian we're just making Jimmy and Cass and Bobby and there's no awkwardness over missing mum] Jimmy: [I didn't even think of that goodbye] Janis: [like thank you girl for swerving that lmao, also putting the shades on him and holding it up like eh, eh?!] Janis: likeness is uncanny Jimmy: Oi, where's my 🚬? Janis: there's nothing festive about throat cancer Jimmy: Dickens 👻'd disagree Jimmy: he's 💔 it got cut in the edit Janis: there's still time for your manager to show up with a goose Janis: and if you get me some crutches, you won't have to do so much heavy lifting Jimmy: more of a 🐷 you but we'll crack on regardless Janis: you're so rude Janis: if I WAS Miss Piggy, I'd kick you down right now Jimmy: one good trotter an' all 💕 Janis: it's important I keep you under it Janis: Kermit is the ultimate cuck Jimmy: #ultimategoals Jimmy: 💀👑 can't even get a text back Janis: she's the rat Jimmy: keep it between us 💀#2 is gonna be gutted they ain't ⛓ together Janis: for all eternity Janis: being judgy af Jimmy: her only kink unlocked Janis: there's fuck all 🧠 or 💪 energy left to have any other passion Janis: it's 💀👑 and nothing else and that's the way they 💕 it Jimmy: [sends her his fave gayest pages of the diary like LOL cos they only had time to skim read at the time] Janis: [trying not to actually lol out loud 'cos still doing this house and watching this film] Janis: imagine 💬 that and not faking it Jimmy: [nudges her because we wanna hear that lol soz if we knock you when you're building] Jimmy: imagine 💭 that BEFORE you were 🧠 dead Janis: [a face like HOW DARE, don't sabotage me, boy but we grinning] Janis: maybe she was WELL lovely before my sister started hanging about Janis: she will do that to you, like Jimmy: [😘 like ILY babe I would NEVER] Jimmy: Puberty'll do that when you wanna fuck your daddy an' all Jimmy: not to snatch away your 🏆 or owt, Gracie Janis: [dangling gingerbread him over her tea like I'll do it, bitch, try me] Janis: she's used to it Janis: 🏅 participation Jimmy: [a look like do it because death wish 5ever] Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: [acting like we really considering it, before putting him back and getting to work on a frosting Twix 'cos tah for being the right colour and texture lowkey lol] Janis: death march more appropriate after today Jimmy: kill bill siren sound Janis: love to take a samurai sword to 'em                                                                                                                         ' Janis: 💔 my christmas ruined Jimmy: more 🏆 than them tiktoks with the 🍏 🍎 🍐 🍊 🍋 🍌 🍉 🍇 🍓 🍈 🍒 🍑 🥭 🍍 🥥 🥝 Janis: but not more 🏆 than this gaff Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: yeah, reserve your judgment 'til I'm finished Jimmy: til we're finished, dickhead Janis: I will have to do the high ones though Jimmy: [another playful nudge like piss off and the gingerbread house wall will be falling] Janis: [lowkey pissed off haha not majorly but attacking him with this frosting like STAPH] Jimmy: [playfight because always] Janis: [being like, Bobby, please protect the castle, I'mma fight off this monster real quick] Jimmy: [that sweet boy gonna take his job so seriously god bless] Janis: [as are we you're going down jimothy] Jimmy: [until we use distracting tactics like picking up the pendant part of that necklace like oh hey remember this and how much you love me] Janis: [looking at Bobby like you have to play fair when there's other people about] Jimmy: [draws a 🏆 on whatever bare skin there is, obvs taking our time to be flirty af cos we're always playing to win honey] Janis: [at least you don't have to worry about calling him a dickhead right now 'cos we must lest we say anything else] Jimmy: [likewise can say 'you' back and not worry about how his voice shamelessly sounds, ah deaf brother perks] Janis: [write 'later' on him 'cos we can promise that] Jimmy: [just as well because Cass can't be out walking dogs forever and she will charge in all snowy and cold like make me a cuppa bitch and obvs Jimothy will] Janis: [and she would not be happy at this scene because grumpy tween life, so focus you two] Janis: you know how I like it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [jimothy just shouting through like a fussy dad @ Cass like if you want a warm shower or bath go after this cos I'mma be starting Bobby's bedtime routine soon] Janis: [probs not at all mortified you did that in front of Janis, nice one boy] Jimmy: [she hates him so much during this time period I lol Janis: [poor boy, you're doing you're best, we all are] Janis: [at least you can clear away this gingerbread carnage] Jimmy: [join him in the kitchen gal but not in the flirty way he hoped would be happening a bit ago] Janis: [just subtly helping without being asked always, love that for yous] Jimmy: [she's so caring in a way that he is not used to at all, it kills me] Janis: [just coming up behind him in a fake-out trying to scare you but not actually way 'you want me to clear out of here for a bit?' like, come back later when they're asleep vibes] Jimmy: [just saying no before he can stop himself and then it's like well now I wanna die] Janis: [just nodding like okay, 'cos not gonna make a big deal even though that was obviously a speedy reply] Jimmy: [doing his own nod towards the window like the weather is the reason we don't want her to go even though we know now how close mcvickers gaff is and that she'd be fine] Janis: ['I'm fine with staying cosy' and takes half the teas in] Jimmy: [shit like this is why we're falling in love with you gal] Janis: [like we are gonna feel slightly awkward whilst he's sorting his siblings but we know the drill from our own back in the day so we can deal] Jimmy: [we'll be sending Cass upstairs for her long bath like my boo used to have because being a tween is the worst okay, good thing Ian isn't here for how long she'll be in there and the music blasting but we're gonna be stuck with Bobert for a while cos he won't wanna go to bed] Janis: [when you partying, live your dreams babe, can't fight you, put on a slightly more chill xmas movie maybe, like idk, polar express or something, he'll fall asleep eventually] Jimmy: [Twix and Bobby falling asleep between you on this sofa like an adorable cockblock] Janis: [just looking over at him like, mission accomplished] Jimmy: [taking them upstairs to bed when it's safe to without waking them, the bae can take a snoozy Twix for you, nodding at Bobby's bed like told you I wouldn't be able to stretch out on that] Janis: [mimes measuring the bed and him like hmm, idk] Jimmy: [playfully pushes her out of the room] Janis: [at least you can take your chance to push him back and have a kiss in this corridor] Jimmy: [glad Cass' music will cover up how loud Jimothy is because of how badly he's wanted to kiss her for what would feel like an age] Janis: [you'll be so glad you didn't hear that, gal, well done, just like 'some santa' though 'cos where is your sneakiness] Jimmy: [looking at the necklace and back to her like excuse you I'm a great santa] Janis: [looking down and then touching it 'it's not totally shit, actually' obvs we were 😍 earlier but that was in front of the gals] Jimmy: [a shrug like it's all so casual and we don't give a fuck either 'did the job' because obvs it was all about impressing the gals and not her] Janis: ['glad I don't have to bin it' 'cos we actually like it and it's not basic just because we had to do a #goals gift moment] Jimmy: ['weren't where I got it out of' because we clearly did buy this there's no way you could've stolen it feasibly as it's jewellery] Janis: [raising a brow, 'you don't want it back, do you?' like are you saying it's too expensive or something] Jimmy: [shakes his head 'my tits'll never pass for yours' like I can't take #goals pics for the gram pretending I'm you so there's no point] Janis: [turns like good, 'cos I'm not giving it back, good day] Jimmy: [go put these decorations up and Jimothy will play the I saw mummy kissing Santa song to make the point like he ain't sneaky either so] Janis: ['that's because it's the dad, not the real santa, dickhead' like get ur facts straight hun] Jimmy: ['never said I were the real santa, Janet' like I'm just good at it like I am at everything thank you] Janis: [mime a 💔 and also a 🤫 'you are tonight'] Jimmy: ['sounds like I'll be going to see him in a bit' cos Bobby wants to, an unimpressed face like lucky me 'don't reckon he'll be fuming about the roleplay though, we're alright'] Janis: [😍 like LUCKY YOU 'there's one in [a place I've not looked up but I'm sure exists lol] that's meant to be pretty good'] Jimmy: [gets his phone out and has a look before giving her an IRL 👍 like a nerd because it looks decent enough] Janis: [bows like ya welcome] Jimmy: ['you coming?' cos she didn't do the nativity and the reason that would've looked #goals is the same here] Janis: [is thinking 'can I bring someone?'] Jimmy: [is a bit like whomst but nods because yeah obvs you can] Janis: ['alright then' like not gonna elaborate lol ok] Jimmy: [says it back and we're cracking on with these decorations] Janis: [get it gals, make it look magical] Jimmy: [at least his house isn't huge so it won't take you forever] Janis: [though it is a house so don't die doing an outside moment, make it work, like] Jimmy: [#teamwork but do take a break when you are outside to piss about with the snow even though there isn't loads you can still chuck it at each other and then get each other with your cold hands] Janis: [no more park for you gals, looking in the general direction of thinking as much] Jimmy: [looking where she's looking and thinking the same things, it was nice while it lasted lads, when he REALLY wants to tell her to stay here but we already embarrassed ourselves in the kitchen being like DON'T GO so we can't say anything] Janis: [at least this will keep you busy for a while, before you have no obvious reason to stay] Jimmy: [could feasibly take hours because it takes ages just to do a tree sometimes] Janis: [mhmm honey bunny, this is still gonna be awks though, at least you can say that you wanna bring your niece and work out those logistics like are we going tomorrow orrr 'cos not long now sweaty] Jimmy: [we probably are realistically, ew I hate to imagine how busy it would be] Janis: [my boo say disgusting lmao, at least you can make this goodbye more natural now like gotta get up for that hens, just being like, hope Bobby loves the decs 'cos we do] Jimmy: [gotta be in the morning so he can work in the afternoon because busy time and we need that cash honey, the greatest and best hug goodbye because it's been such a feelsy day] Janis: [trying not to linger and failing lowkey, we see y'all] Jimmy: [will offer to walk you home as if you haven't just been putting decs up with that ankle, we know you just are trying to keep this going] Janis: [do we reckon it's too late for public transport, like you don't wanna go home and you are just gonna come back tomorrow, soz mcvickers showing up again] Jimmy: [mcvickers are used to it and she needs Libi early that's our excuse] Janis: [let him walk you back then gal] Jimmy: [🚬 break during this walk back because there wouldn't have been enough of those today] Janis: [chance to breathe hens, you been busy, ruining lives, making days] Jimmy: [let it hit you boy how close christmas actually is] Janis: [we're all shook, like your mother must be hitting you up gal, what's the tea this year] Jimmy: [gonna ask her if she wants to go for breakfast tomorrow before this santa appointment because he wants Bobby to have a nice time, like we know we have to work a lot soz little man] Janis: ['as long as you aren't suggesting going in to work early' like you love your job SO much babe but obvs, we are down] Jimmy: [such an unamused noise and face because I can only imagine the hell that the CG is on the daily never mind at festive times] Janis: [😏 'cos we've literally been in ONCE at this point and we're like yeah, I know, y'all can go somewhere decent] Jimmy: [somewhere these bubs will love and think is so swag but you won't hate every second of] Jimmy: [when you wanna be like THANKS for today post friendmas but it's awkward so you just pull her back a little bit and then you're just there like -] Janis: [Dublin looks like there's loads of cool places in general so I have faith, doing the signature ?] Jimmy: [just looking at her like if you could read my mind rn that would be great] Janis: [so rude you cannot tbh, just pushing him gently like what though, like don't freak me out] Jimmy: ['tah for-' gestures back in the direction of his house 'our kid'll be chuffed to bits when he has a look'] Janis: [shrugs like nbd 'won't pass it on to #2' 'cos lots of those decs were hers but fuck you gal 'take a pic if he looks cute' 'cos we blatantly wanna see his reaction but not gonna outright say that so we just pretending it could be #goals content] Jimmy: ['should work in a grotto or some bollocks next year, you' not even a pisstake because she's great with kids and swagged that but we'll pretend we are, nods and mimes that he'll record his 😱 reaction, again we probably will but we can pretend we're taking the piss out of Grace's vlogmas vibes] Janis: ['you're the elf' and a face like lord no, do your own 👍 and go inside bitch] Jimmy: ['yeah and I'll have a word' heart hands like love you gal] Janis: [blow a kiss like you're buzzing at the prospect] Jimmy: [catch it as you watch her go boy]

“OC asks that reveal more than you think”

...part the first. From here. I decided I will do this for everybody, so I will not get too carried awa--oh, what am I saying? I mean that I did want to do Laura after all, but I also want to do some others, and doing them all at once should help deter depression that might result from analysing the darkficcier-than-darkfic stuff. And since this will be long, I’ll just post a few answers at a time. So, here we go.

***

1. Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? If they have multiple, who's the favorite?

-Laura: She sleeps with a living sex panther. I expect she had LOADS of toys as a kid (Lars-Erik in the movie is drowning in tons of fancy, expensive toys, the pampered little nipper he is). But I don't see her being that much into playing with traditional dolls--except for those fucked-up bondage/dark ritual games she bonded over with Birgitte.

-Fadl: I bet he slept with several as a child. And gave them swords made of stix. His favourite was a stuffed horse. When he has to spend nights in tents, he sleeps next to his horse, in true nomadic Arab warrior fashion. (The reason they kept the horses in their tents were because tribal raids were rampant, JYSK. All those "oh, those curious foreign customs!" anecdotes never tell you that bit.)

-Zainab: she sleeps with several soft, warm living lesbians she has been stuffing with dildos beforehand. If it's too hot to share a bed, she just hugs a big pillow so she won't suffocate on her own tits and stomach during the night. The pillow quite likely has embroideries of naked ladies, too.

2. Can they take care of a plant? What about a pet? What about a child?

-Laura sucks at plants. Torsten is an avid gardener and faps over his orchids (probably literally. Improves the alkalinity of the soil). Pets? I don't think she really is a pet person, even if she probs had the token pony all little rich girls have. But she had stable hands to take care of it. Torsten, weirdly, would get along with animals, I think, and would be all cuddly and not at all evil in his interactions with them. He strikes me as the sort of person who hates most humans but loves animals, and that pet-owning is one of the few things about him that he does "normally," when the rest of him is batshit insane. It's not an unusual pattern with mental people (the cat lady said somewhat defensively). A child?! Well. If you've read the fic, you know how they deal with children. Don't ever let them near them... please. Especially Uncle Torsten.

-Fadl: I suspect he's actually a really good gardener when he puts his mind to it! Perhaps, in his old age, that's what he starts to fill his days with at Thousand Suns--after all, the house was named after the orange trees growing in its gardens and courtyard. So maybe he decides to make it a matter of personal pride that the oranges turn out as smashing as possible. (Omg, I need to use this in a fic! Jaffar shows up and juggles with the oranges; Salsabil and her mother develop a press, Anwar glugs the juice to fuel his dance practice :3) Animals-wise, he is really, really, really big on those horses, as previously established. As a youth and in his early adulthood in Raqqa and Baghdad, he would go to the horse races with Jaffar and cheer at the Barmakid horses he had himself brought up and co-trained. And kick everybody's arses at polo, likewise with horses he'd helped bring up. Children? Don't bring it up with him if you value your life (cf. The Earth's Turning--you'll have to read that one to know why).

-Zainab: sucks at plants, abhors kids, only just gets along with animals, but doesn't really form particularly deep bonds with them. She only has domestic/work animals like horses and camels and donkeys and chickens and hounds and cattle, and has, at some point, had at least one elephant to show off with.

3. Ask them to describe their love interest.

-Laura: “My Daddy is mad, bad and dangerous to know. And I love him; I don't know what I would do without him. And he most certainly wouldn't know what to do without me, either, the aimlessly drifting cad that he is.”

-Fadl: “Zainab is a heathen goddess. And just as capricious and cruel. But I cannot help it--the marvels of her soft, ample curves, golden hair and Hyperborean blue eyes hold me captive. This Viking bitch has well and truly conquered me, and I might as well admit it. But not to other men besides my brother; God, no. A man has to retain at least a façade of dignity, even if in his mistress's bed, he may be as a slave.”

-Zainab: “Lina? She is my little mouse-mouse, my little golden pearl, my everything! She completes me, in possessing all that I lack: a calm and steady temperament and a head for numbers and books. She keeps me sane, cheers me up, is a good conversationalist and on top of that, she is insatiable in bed. I never grow tired of lapping at that delicious little cunny of hers until my mouse-mouse squeaks--what's that? Oh, you wanted to know about *Fadl.* Well, he has his uses, does my bold stallion. But he needs a fair amount of training still. But I am nothing if not an expert at the art of breaking in unruly colts...” *cracks bejewelled, plump little knuckles*

4. Do they look good in red?

You know, at first I thought I'd Photoshop these, but then I realised it'd take me an entire week. So you just get quick and dirty (literally) doodles doodles I  ended up fixing in Potatochop for two fucking hours because fuck the messiness coloured pencils engender :P

Laura:

(She doesn‘t wear her hair like that for most of the time in the fics, but I still love drawing her with Bunny’s ginormous Nancy Drew/The Beloved Brat-era cloud of golden curls. And unlike Bunny, she has Torsten’s nose.)

Fadl:

I... kind of got carried away by what Clone Brush/Burn Tool could do, there. He ended up looking as colourful as a medieval European jester. Well, he is a fucking clown, though, so... what the hell.

Zainab:

Glorious red frock over sapphire-blue, diaphanous shalwars! I reckon the belt and the trim on the sleeves is actual gold. Because she could afford it.

But, yeah. I think the girls win this round. Maybe I’ll ‘shop Fadl in red if I find a good bodyshot of the right kind of chap in the right kind of red sherwani or something. But now, I’ve definitely done my arms and hands and back in for the day as far as Photoshop goes, so that’s it for tonight, folks!

So yesterday I tried to make a post explaining the back story of what caused Sunday's mental breakdown to happen and I tried to save it to drafts after spending 30 minutes on it while walking Miss Phyre outside but Tumblr decided to cock out and didn't actually save it which led to another mini meltdown afterwards so I'm just going to skip the background. It hurts to mich to relive it a g a i n. So thanks Tumblr.

Sunday I went to Sam's house after donating plasma cause dad was working on the electrical and I figured I'd just spend time there instead of being home. Instead, I ended up having a breakdown on Sam's back porch. I started crying inside while in the fetal position on the floor and figured that I should go outside so nobody heard me. I violently sobbed for at least ten minutes and dug my nails into my arm because I wanted to punish myself. I also went outside because I wanted to destroy Sam's living room and I can't do that but I can destroy myself and my things. I kept wanting to smash my head into something and eventually I did on the banister twice and screamed both times when I did it. After some time like five minutes of so Nemo came out and tried talking to me and I blew up on them and basically blamed them even though it wasn't their fault. They were crying and begging me to get help dad came out too crying because he heard me say that somebody was tearing me down and making feel like shit about myself but he didn't hear who and at the time it didn't make me feel anything but looking back fucking hurts. Sam came out too after Nemo went inside I think to talk to dad about what was happening and she brought Nala Tyler's cat and asked if I wanted cookies or soda to feel better. I just remember ignoring her and being so annoyed with her in the moment.

Eventually I got to the point where I couldn't physically talk and typed a message to Nemo:

I want to me normal I WA. T to be fixed and go just can't cause miss Phyre needs attention and the dress fitting and I don't want to worry mom and tge family but fucking here I dpimg just that all the God dam. Duckknf time vsvauar I can't fucking control my stupid fucking brain

They asked if I wanted to go to the lds hospital crisis center or if I wanted to wait til tomorrow:

I have to go today cause if I don't there be an excuse tomorrow like I feel better it always happens

So they drove me home so I could get some clothes and stuff to bring to be admitted into inpatient. The whole time I was getting stuff I cried and kissed miss Phyre and told her over and over how much I love her and that I'll be back I'm not abandoning her.

So we get up to the access center thing and because of covid Nemo has to leave but I get taken back pretty fast for the physical part and asking the standard health questions. They also take my stuff including my phone and the pieces of paper that I wrote down all my problems on and a brief breakdown of my childhood traumas. I sit in a pretty okay chair for what feels like an hour. I cry a bit but nothing too noticeable when I finally got back to see the crisis counselor she basically said I'm very knowledgeable about my mental illnesses and told me that she'd let their therapy coordinator know to give me a call on Tuesday and also gave me her business card so I could call too and said as long as I'm not a danger to myself I can go home. In that moment I wasn't in danger of hurting myself more and I did want to go home instead of being admitted so I could take care of Miss Phyre but this was the second time a crisis counselor told me I wasn't in enough danger to be admitted like? Excuse me? Sorry my fucking emotions turn on a fucking dime but I absolutely need professional fucking help please?

She led me back to my chair to wait for the psychiatrist or whatever and that time I didn't have to wait as long. I got a turkey sandwich box thingy that came with a fruit cup chips and a string cheese as well as mustard and mayo in packets to put on it and tomatoes and Lettuce on the side so you can add them if you want them. I only had time to eat the fruit cup and started spreading the mayo on my sandwich before the psychiatrist came to me and we talked and he said the same thing as the counselor thag I'm very insightful about my failings and then put me on welbutrin instead of Lexapro and said I'm good to go home. I went back to the chair finished making the sandwich and then ate it while filling out their crisis sheet thingy that's like when I'm in a bad place who can I go to type shit. I still had to wait to actually be discharged so J ate the string cheese too. I finally left and had to wait another thirtyish minutes for Nemo to come pick me up.

What the scratches looked like right after being discharged. We went back to Sam's house because dad was still doing the electrical and we stayed there for another hour or two before going home. Don't remember much after the discharge honestly.

Monday was labor day and we went shopping I got my pills and stuff from Smiths. Then we went back home to wait for mom and Karleigh to get up so we could go to Joanne's tk make a playyard thing for aidrian and the dollar store for other stuff I don't remember. Then we went to the grocery store to get pita bread for dinner and something else I forgot but we ended up shopping and spent like 200 dollars. We also went to Lowes to get more pvc pipe for the playyard because dad apparently didn't get enough the first time. We ate dinner with Dave which was tikki masala and it was pretty dang good. Also before we got my pills I walked Miss Phyre for a while outside and she loved it. I decided to give her a bath afterwards since she doesn't wash herself and she was oaky the entire time she didn't meow or hiss or anything. She tried to climb out of the tub but not like in an aggressive manner like she didn't want anything to do with the water. She was such a good girl.

When Dave left we started working in the playyard. We wrapped some pink tulle on the sides and tied it to the pvc with some thin yarn. It took us hours to do and it was just mom Karleigh and me because dad went to bed. It was grueling work because my body was already exhausted from shopping all day and I had to hold my arms above my head for extended periods of time. My heels were in excruciating pain but we finally finished half of the playyard at about 1230 only to find out the other tulle we bought was the wrong stuff. It was too small to have it folded over to keep the sides secure and wasn't long enough to reach both ends of the other tulle so we had to give up for the night which actually pissed me off more than finishing it would have probably. I ended up only going to sleep at 5 am and waking up at about 9 on Tuesday but it was a nice cool day so I took Miss Phyre out for another walk and while we walked I typed up the previous Tumblr post. When I was ready to go inside and take a break from reliving the shit that happened I saved it to drafts so I could finish it later and brought Miss Phyre inside. Then I realized that it didn't actually save it and I had another breakdown but not nearly as intense as Sunday. It didn't help that the therapy coordinator never actually called me. I got a call from a bit for Intermountain that asked a bunch of questions like do I understand my discharge orders am I feeling safe did I get medication and do I understand how to take the medication and I had to hit 1 for yes 2 for no and 3 for unsure and one of the questions was like am I still feeling like I'm in a crisis or something and I had to hit 1 three times because it just wouldn't register it and that pissed me off and made me mad that it was automated and they didn't even bother to have areal human call and talk to me. After every question I answered basically they said were sorry to hear that well have a nurse follow up with you later today. I ignored both calls from the nurse because I just didn't have the energy to deal with it after the Tumblr thing. Like I wasted so much energy just typing it out and what little I had left just instantly sapped after I realized it was gone. The second voicemail the nurse left mentioned that it would be the last time trying to get into contact with me but also that our insurance has mental health advocates so thats something I need to look into.

Eventually Cavell told my dad that I needed to be watched I guess and since dad was still at work and mom had just left to take aidrian back home mandi came downstairs and spent time with me. Cavell told my sad that I needed to eat so he texted mandi to make sure I ate something and we went upstairs and made pizza and waited for dad to come home. After that we had to wait for mom and Karleigh to get back so we could go back to Joanne's to get the right tulle and while we were there I bought some double pointed needles so I could make some wrist warmers to hide the scratches. I also wrapped them up which just made it seem way more serious than it was since they were too close for bandaids to work right I had to use gauze and ace wrap.

We thankfully didn't finish the playyard yesterday we're supposed to some time today but hopefully I'll be asleep before then.

I also left the access center a review since they only had two. One one star review that was basically my experience and one five star with no description from an account that only gives 5 star reviews and seems like a bot.

Nemo wanted me to call the center for evidence based treatment last night because Google said they closed at 7 but when I called they closed at 5 so I called today instrad and nobody answered so I filled out their online form and I just got the response email from them so I'm going to hopefully get better soon I guess.

Love you always.