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leclsrc · 8 months

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in so deep ✴︎ cl16

genre: friends to lovers, charles has a huge crush and is a lovesick bloke, smut, humor, Fluff

word count: 13.1k

It takes you many cities, a botched Halloween costume and a failed break-in to realize how much Charles likes you. It takes Charles several years to realize he doesn’t need to do much to have you like him back. title from this

nsfw warnings under the cut!

18+ because... penetrative sex, praise central, size kink, unprotected sex

auds here… thank u for all ur love during my periods of being awol .... i wrote this over the course of a week and i hope u all like it!!! its very much a self indulgent thing... :P

The first time Charles realized he liked you, you were both posed for a picture.

It happened at a dinner party in London, in late autumn, thrown by you to celebrate your first year on the paddock as a reporter. Few friends had been invited but, with how noisy everyone was and with the ease of conversation, it felt like a houseful of people in your narrow dining area. Lando was in front of the mirror, tipsy, demonstrating his best rendition of an Irish accent to a genuinely interested Alex and Lily.

Max was playing with your pet cat, Gene Kelly, and mentally plotting a heist to sneak him out with Pierre’s help. Your boyfriend, Liam, was making himself a cocktail. And Lewis had been roaming around with a glass of dry wine and his brand new film camera to document the night’s festivities—but the host was nowhere to be found. Unbeknownst to everyone, full off dinner and tipsy off cocktails, you’d ducked into the balcony to find where Charles had run off to for the night.

The music was muffled when you shut the door, leaving it ajar just a little bit. Lissie had played Cocteau Twins and was singing whatever gibberish lyrics played, fully drunk off a bottle of Tito’s. Still laughing over her predicament, you turned to Charles and refocused your attention on him. Is it boring?

What w… what is? He asked, turning to you. Briefly his eyes flitted to your hand, the bracelets clasped onto your wrist. He noticed you held matching bottles of beer but yours remained full, nail tapping idly on the semi-opaque glass.

My party, you responded wryly, cocking your head to the side. A loose tendril of hair fell over your eye and he itched to tuck it back in place, thumb over your ear. You continued, still pressing for an answer. You left to smoke but you didn’t come back.

I like the view. A half-lie but truthful in some way. He squinted to try and make out blurry, faraway signage. I should move here. Monaco makes me sick. He tried to say it jokingly, but was betrayed by the raw tone of his voice. You hummed quietly, to signify you were listening.

So move. Who’s stopping you? You smiled slightly. Aside from your ludicrous career, of course.

You had a natural disposition of—something. He didn’t quite know how to describe it, almost like the rest of him had yet to catch up with something only his heart was already decided on. You spoke and acted with some kind of smoothness that only the most popular kids in secondary school could have reins over, but you always claimed you weren’t very popular in your teenage years. He just knew he liked hearing you talk, watching you smile. He felt something—but he didn’t want to name it even if he knew exactly what it was. Instead he played into your joke. Yeah, I’ve been told I should move to Dubai instead, become a prince.

You laughed aloud. You are terribly unfunny, you know that?

Am I? He asked. Just then, as the cotton of his tee brushed against your bare shoulder, Liam brashly tugged the balcony door open to find you. He had this drunk smile on his face, brushing his blond hair out of the way and raising a Leica to the two of you.

Hey, I got Lewis’ camera. Smile, Liam had said, eyes squinted behind it. You remained still, half-turned to the camera, and Charles gave a smile whereas you remained in a neutral, half-smiling pose. And right there, at that very moment, as a giggle escaped your lips from having to pose so quickly and even awkwardly, Charles realized with a damning force that he had a massive crush on you.

Liam had left shortly after to resume taking pictures, but would later confront you over your “weird, odd, fucking closeness with the Monegasque bloke” that you would vehemently deny despite a gut-churning feeling boiling low in your stomach. But that’s later. Your conversation continued calmly, along the passive whir of London and the streets below. You both people-watched as you thought of things to say—finally Charles said, Are you interviewing me next weekend?

I always try to get out of it when it’s with you. You rolled your eyes, feigning irritance, then smiled to break the illusion. I think so.

I’ll make sure I have good answers. You’re too smart. Hurts to be in the same room.

Like you aren’t, you said back, but the rebuttal is shy in nature, like he struck you with a compliment so high you couldn’t bear to return it. He felt then like this was the kind of moment where you would start holding hands any minute, timid touches between clinks of bottles. He remembered Liam existed and screwed his eyes shut. He wished so hard to be able to kiss you. Abandon all sense and just kiss you.

—

“It’s 2023 and still London has the most rubbish ass, fucking cunt, stupid wanker stoplights,” Lissie huffs beside you, checking her watch. “Right then. We’re going to be late. You know how Lando is when people are late. Especially because this is his event.”

“We’re not people to Lando,” you reason, tapping the steering wheel. The ETA on your navigation app tells you you’re still twenty minutes away. “We’re his best friends. If he can’t forgive us, we should kick him out of the group chat.”

“Ooh, and add Alex,” Lily pipes up from the backseat, where she’s redoing her eyeshadow to pass the time. “I keep telling you guys he’s funnier than Lando.” Both you and Lissie make faint, vague sounds of dissent and she grunts again, deflating.

“No boyfriends in the group chat,” Lissie repeats an age-old rule that’s been around for as long as you three (four, including Lando) have been friends. “Or girlfriends, in Lando’s case, but we haven’t worried about that much, have we?”

You’re all en route to watch Lando crank out a brand-new deejay set, one he’s spent the summer break working on. It’s all house and inspired by beach music, and he’s very proud of it, so of course you’re all showing up to laud him. You’re not the only ones, though, apparently—whoever’s in the city is showing up to show their support, which includes a whole stretch of drivers.

“Oh, my God!” Lily says all of a sudden, eyes wide at something on her phone; you both gesture for her to show you and she does with speed. “Do you guys remember this? God, Instagram archives are a godsend.”

“Your dinner party in Chelsea!” Lissie coos, immediately sidling into a fond awwww! You tap at the story Lily had then posted: a video of everybody eating. You tap again to view the one she posted a few days later, which was a collage of Lewis’ camera scans he’d gotten developed overnight. There in the upper right corner, you almost immediately spot your photo with Charles.

“Oh, Christ, that picture.” Memories of your subsequent arguments with Liam flash past your head. Playfully, all you say is, “And I never had a boyfriend again.”

“Liam was an Irish arse, anyway.” Lissie scoffs. “Nobody liked him. Lewis joked about cleaning his camera after he used it that night. Plus, you actively avoid dating, so don’t complain.”

“Fair,” you say with a slight smile. Your mind lingers on the picture, the imprint of it burned fresh into your mind.

“You—it’s also because you can’t take a hint, babe.” Lily says matter-of-factly. “Who knows how many guys have, you know… fancied, or, like, had crushes on you, and you just never knew?”

“Are you saying somebody fancies me?” You ask, voice whittling out playfully as your eyes count down the seconds to the green light.

Funnily, silence is all that answers. Beside you, Lily and Lissie exchange a look—one that communicates their years-long amusement over your cluelessness. You whirl back to them, eyebrows raised, and double down: “Wait. Does somebody fancy me?”

“No!” Lily ekes out; you don’t miss Lissie’s poorly-hidden laugh. “No. I’m just—it’s just—no.”

Truth is, it truly seems like the only person in the entire paddock (team and Sky Sports staff included) who hasn’t caught on to a certain somebody’s boyish crush is the crush herself, oblivious as ever, even years and years later. One might think you’d have realized eventually, but perhaps owed to your type A personality and immersion with work, and Charles’ pathetic and total inability to express how much he likes you, the crush has always remained just that, despite your two friend groups’ best efforts to hint at it.

It wasn’t to say, though, that you didn’t sometimes entertain the idea of liking him, too. On that one rainy race weekend when he’d brought you a plastic cup of soup, and embarrassed, laughed sheepishly at Lissie’s joking request for one; then returned twenty minutes later with soup for everyone in the media pen. Or that time in Monaco where he’d pretended to be your boyfriend at a bar to ward off a creepo from hitting on you any further. Or another time, in Budapest, when he’d drank half his body weight in jello shots and slurred out a goofy, heavy I’m soooo sorry, baby while you helped him into the passenger seat of his car.

That one, singular time in Cancun you told your friends once and never again.

But those are isolated incidents, you suppose; plus, dating someone you work with has never seemed like a remotely good idea to you, and you don’t think it ever will.

For all your thinking on the topic, you fail to realize that you don’t know much at all—you don’t know the fact that Charles has liked you for years, after getting to know just how charming and funny you were as a friend. You don’t know that he still gets gut-churning butterflies when he sees you, hands shaky and face tinged pink. You miss the fact that he’s not had any long-term partners in the years of his liking you. You don’t know anything.

“Don’t lie.” You narrow your eyes as you rev the car and continue the trip.

“We’re not,” Lily says loudly and a touch too defensively, crossing her fingers. Quietly, she continues, “You should just pay more attention.”

Whatever she meant to say is lost on you as soon as you make a left and spot the club Lando’s at, already teeming with high-profile guests and their high-profile cars. Half an hour later you’re in—valet and being on the guest list effectively cuts your entrance time in half. You separate at the entrance—you, to find Lando; your two girls, to find your reserved table. You find him eventually, busy behind the booth churning out high-frequency tropical music; he pauses for half a beat to flash a huge grin and a thumbs-up before redirecting his attention to the knobs and sliders you can’t seem to guess the functions of.

These kinds of parties are affairs in and of themselves. They mimic the afterparties during the season—nothing if not shows of opulence and networking: champagne paid for by business magnates, yachts that barely make dents in anybody’s wallets, thick CVs, fruity cocktails spilled on pieces of clothing that cost upward of 3000 pounds. You make eye contact with at least seven skeevy businessmen before you spot your friends, but only because you hear them first—by them you mean Lissie, her loud voice raised even more to match the noise at this club.

“I said I didn’t fu—ugh—I don’t want ye fahkin’ champagne,” she slurs out to an old man in a pressed suit, eyebrows knitted angrily. “Got it?!” Behind her, Lily and Alex (who’s arrived now, apparently) watch, concerned and helpless to stop her but equally (perhaps more) entertained.

You step closer and make a move to calm down the exchange taking place, but somebody whispers a “hey” in your ear and startles you. You turn, and come face to face with Charles. His black tee accentuates the breadth of his shoulders, which you connect to his crossed arms; there’s a shy, boyish grin playing on his face. “Oh, Charles!” You smile. “Hey! Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Thanks,” he says with a grin, straining to raise his voice. “You look—you look well. Are you alone?”

“No, I’m—” You turn to your three friends nearby, and to Lissie’s argument heating up. “I actually have to go.” You raise your thumb, jabbing it toward them. “But hi again… again!” You both laugh, but he laughs much louder. “I’ll see you around.”

“I jus—” He says, and you stick around for a second to hear him say what he has to say.

“Yeah?”

He clears his throat and laughs stiffly, abandoning his previous statement in favor of a new one. “I just…. want… to have a great time.”

“Ohhhh,” you holler, nodding, clearly trying to mask your extreme confusion under a polite smile. “Okay, well… go ahead!”

You smooth down your dress and laugh again, evidently more forced but, unfortunately for Charles, not any less pretty.

You carry yourself in a very pretty, graceful way, loud and quiet at the same time, like your confident voice when you’re holding the mic and asking questions or making drivers laugh. He might sound creepy, though, a touch too observant, if he tells you so. He observes you instead, for a second, the low cut of your dress and the way the red overhead light shines on your exposed collarbones—and then you’re leaving. He watches you walk over to hug Lily, realizes how stupid he’s sounded, and smothers a hand over his face, humiliated.

—

“I just want to have a great time?” Max’s jaw drops and he shakes his head, disappointed above all else. “Charles, what the actual. Like…. fuck?” They’re all camped out at the latter’s hotel room, around the dining table, in varying states of sober and doing different things to wear off the last hour of the night before they’re all due to train or debrief again in the morning. Charles had relayed the disaster of the night to everyone at some point, but Max is the last to hear of it; this, unfortunately, does not inoculate him from the shock and secondhand embarrassment.

“Pierre told me to—” Charles starts, forlorn.

“Oi, no. I told you to say something like I just wish… I’d seen you sooner,” interjects the Frenchman with a tut. “You know, flirting? Not… whatever the fuck you said.”

“I didn’t—I was—I lost my mind,” he groans, burying his head in his hands. It couldn’t possibly be entirely his fault when you looked so pretty tonight, hair down and a wash of glitter on your eyelids. Just subtle little flecks of them. They brought out your eyes, too. And your blush, the pink flush of it that sat high on your cheekbones.

“…llo? Charles.” He blinks and sees Carlos’ deep eyes, wide and staring right at him, so pointedly he’s genuinely startled.

“Jeeesus fucking Christ. What?” He places a melodramatic hand over his chest. “Yeah?”

“What do you mean with the”—Carlos mimics his confused expression—“I asked you a question, tonto.”

“Don’t bother with him,” chimes in Pierre, half-distracted by his phone. He looks up with a devious smile and continues. “He’s still thinking of Miss Reporter of the Year.” A round of loud, jovial laughter makes its way across the table, a few teasing quips being chimed in here and there.

“I just,” mocks Pierre from across the table, adopting a sing-songy tone as he bumps his shoulder to Carlos’ with a mocking laugh. “Wanna have a great time.” His voice is much higher and more mocking, which is enough to send Charles into a fit of petulant embarrassment.

“This isn’t sixth year,” he grits out quietly, but the blush on his face could just as well be plastered on the cheeks of a twelve-year-old. “Give it a rest.”

“Mate.” Pierre’s voice mellows into something more austere. “You do know she’s leaving the reporters’ job at the end of the season? She’s going to London full-time. No more seeing her all year round. You know this. And I keep telling you. If you are really, and I mean really, interested, I say go for it. C’est la fucking vie, yeah?”

“Plus, if she says no, you can go for pretty much anyone else, anyway,” concludes Max with a convinced smile.

“It’s not the same,” he admits helplessly, smothering his hands over his face in bleak frustration. Behind his eyelids he sees you still, beautiful and smiling and funny—he seriously needs to institutionalise himself before he goes even more mad with the years-long malady he’s called a crush. And seriously, for a twenty-something to have something he calls a crush is despicable in itself. He feels juvenile.

“I can’t tell her. She’s always told people that dating coworkers is a bad idea.”

“You’re not coworkers.”

“We’re—well, we still work closely together. It is the same.” He groans. “It’s just… I’ve said it before. If I admit I like her, things will become awkward. I’d rather we remain friends.”

“Well… see, nobody said you needed to tell her,” begins Pierre schemingly, eyebrows raising. Around them, everybody groans at the birth of another Pierre-brained scheme that will, no doubt, need the enlistment of everyone’s help and will likely end in disaster. “What?! I’m just offering… I’m just saying, mate—you’ve liked her since forever. Why not make a move?”

“—I can’t—”

“Without telling her?”

“Pierre,” groans Carlos, ever the voice of reason, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t—whatever this is you’re planning, it’s going to go to shit. I swear.”

“You are acting like I plan to take somebody hostage.” Pierre shrugs. “You know, girls like when you don’t tell them straight up. You have to show you like them. You know, be interested in the things they’re interested in, compliment them, make them laugh. And then they think, oh, how thoughtful, oh, how adorable, and before you know it, they like you. And you’ve got yourself a girlfriend.”

“Mmm. Uh-uh. Untrue.” Max says decisively, shaking his head. “I told Kelly I liked her.”

“Yeah, sí. I told Isa I liked her, too.”

“Will you two—just—” Pierre gesticulates and makes a funny noise that insinuates just go with it. “Okay?” he points out to the latter, rolling his eyes. He turns back to Charles with a ready, dazzling, so-French-it’s-scary grin and continues. “I suggest you let us be your wingmen and help you charm her.”

“Whoa, whoa, wh—us? You’re on your own here,” Max quips with a laugh. “It’s your stupid idea.”

“It’s not stupid, and it’s going to work. She probably likes you already.” His confidence carries the lie with gusto. “We just need—you just need to show her instead of saying the dumbest shit to her face.” Pierre leans back into his chair and shrugs matter-of-factly. “Max and I will be regular wingmen, but we have a secret weapon.”

“Don’t—” Carlos starts with a sigh.

“Yes. Lando, Lily, and Lissie are all close to her, eh? Well, perfect—Carlos will get information from Lando about things she likes, you gift her those things or talk to her about them, bam she’s in love. It’s literally a perfect plan.”

Maybe it’s worth it. Maybe—

“No.” Charles shakes his head firmly, setting the record straight. “This will not work. Who’s to say she even needs a boyfriend?”

—

Despite what his best and closest friends—on and off the paddock—might have you believe, Charles hasn’t always been so hopeless when it came to trying to catch your heart. His closest call came in Cancun, after a long weekend of racing and a flight to the area, early into the night where he thought he was the only one who decided to opt out of partying.

Your skin’s peeling. You turned from where you sat on a barstool observing the shore, startled, immediately relaxing when you found him standing there eyeing you. Your hair was still damp, crunchy with saltwater, and your skin had tanned considerably, a sunburn sitting on the bridge of your nose. You stuck your tongue out.

I spent the whole day swimming. He observed your bikini, yellow and green contrasting the colour of your skin. He blinked slowly, ordering himself a drink to hopefully pass the thoughts away. His eyes couldn’t stop, though, wandering, the translucent material of the scarf you’d tied loosely around your hips, the tinge of heat on your shoulders and nose. I’m burnt everywhere.

There are remedies for that. He smiled around his glass.

I’m aware, you said lightly, crossing your legs and sliding your finger along the salt rim of yours. But just in case I forgot, maybe you could refresh my memory.

Your voice was so sweet, so low, so tempting. Already he knew he was wrapped around your finger, the same finger picking up grains of salt to press on your tongue peeking between your smiling lips. You brought your glass to your lips. It had been some time since the dinner in London so he pressed, his voice deep and a little rough, Liam can do that for you, I’m sure.

Pity, you said meekly as you set your glass down and looked back at him. He’s not my boyfriend anymore.

Out of eyeline, the bartender’s eyes widened at the exchange he was overhearing.

Is it a pity? He asked, leaning backwards and cocking his head to the side. It’s easy, an easy glide of conversation, flirt, something he’s wanted for a while now. To have you playing into him, and have himself playing into you, just like this. It was naturally easy in a foreign city where nobody knew who either of you were, where you were just two strangers flirting at a beachside bar.

Two strangers laughing while they dug their toes into the sand. Two strangers basking in the water, tinted orange by the sun dipping below the horizon, scarf untied in favor of one last swim before night fell. There was nothing keeping either of you from doing whatever you wanted. Nothing keeping Charles from finally acting on the attraction that honest to God crushed him.

You ended up leaning on the door of your hotel room, keycard fiddled in-between your sandy fingers. You combed a hand through your hair and offered a shy smile. So.

So, he replied, leaning closer. So.

Sooo. You were laughing and your breath smelled like a mint leaf and vodka. You looked up at him, blinking slowly. I have a rule.

What rule is that?

I don’t date coworkers. He wanted to dip down, place a hand on the dip of your waist, and kiss you.

Pity, he said gruffly instead, a smile forming on his face.

Is it a pity? You chewed on your lip and looked at his barely parted ones, pink and pretty. When I’m about to break it? He was about to help you do just that—eyes fluttered shut already—when a crash resounded from down the hall and you both turned to find the culprit. You broke apart and with your separation, whatever atmosphere of tension you’d built up popped, too, leaving you awkwardly standing beside each other.

Oh m… Lissie? You asked, leaning closer as you recognized your friend more and more. You narrowed your eyes, watching the girl crawl her way through the carpeted floor. Oh, Jesus—let’s—get you—

You both hauled her up and wrapped either arm around your shoulders, unlocking her hotel room with great effort and tossing her onto the bed. You stood back and sighed at her half-blacked out state, slightly amused but ultimately relieved she ended her night unscathed.

She pried one eye open and sleepily, she groaned out, what were… you two… doing together outside your room?

Nothing, you said quickly, face warm and eyes wide.

Because you—Lissie raised a lazy finger in your direction—don’t date coworkers.

I wasn’t—it wasn’t—goodnight, you spluttered, eyes refusing to meet Charles’ even as you both exited the room, paying him quiet thanks as he pulled the door back closed.

Sorry, you said, pretty as ever. The light shone on the red splotch on your nose. Goodnight.

And so he went to his room that night, bummed out and still high off your scent.

—

“You’re staring again.”

“I’m not,” he lies through his teeth, averting his eyes away from your figure by the shore. Sue him if he was staring (which he wasn’t… but most definitely was) but he finds you much too pretty. After the disaster that was the Mexican GP, he figures he could use some sort of stress reliever. Apparently he was not alone in thinking this, considering half the paddock hauled ass to Cancun and prompty partied.

Across Charles, Joris and Pierre share a knowing look that doesn’t go unnoticed.

“I said I’m not!”

“So you are not staring at her blue swimsuit then?” Joris tests, mouth twisted into a devious smirk. “It’s black,” Charles says matter-of-factly before catching sight of his friends’ smug expressions and realizing he’s implicated himself. He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, petulantly almost. “And I wasn’t. Can you fucking—fuck off?”

“Just ask her out already,” Pierre groans, nodding when Joris chimes in with agreement of his own. “I seriously can-not handle another bar of this shit. It’s been years.”

“I don’t know how to,” he laments. “It’s going to be awkward if I do it all formal, and she’s going—she’ll laugh at me, and it’s…” He blows a raspberry. “Non. Pointless.”

“Just kiss her at the party,” reasons Joris with an easy attitude, shrugging.

“Joris! Charles didn’t know about that,” Pierre says, trying to lower his volume, but it’s pointless since they’re barely a metre apart. “Fucking tattletale.”

“Party?!” Charles repeats, eyes wide. “Why don’t I know about a party?!”

“It’s a Halloween party,” Joris says, a wacky grin on his face. “And you said it yourself, didn’t ‘cha? You told us not to tell you if any functions were happening because you’re too tired to go to any. Too… too wrapped up racing.” He laughs. “Or something of the sort.”

“Well the season’s ending,” he huffs, wringing firm fingers over his face, his shut eyes, “and I still fucking haven’t… so I think I’m afforded a party.”

“Alright, then come to the party! Dress code, Halloween. Sexy Halloween.” Pierre wiggles his eyebrows. “You know, speaking of our plan, Carlos overheard Lissie and Lily talking about what your girl’s costume is going to be.” He leans in closer and laces his fingers together. “She’s going as a… Christina.”

“Christina?” The other two echo, confused.

“Christina. I did some digging, and I think it’s this.” Pierre scrolls and dicks around on his phone for a minute before turning it back around to Joris and Charles, who peek with great interest. They seem to be looking at an outdated movie poster of—

“Cas-per the friendly ghost,” Charles reads aloud, trying to get his accent to dissipate. “Huh. What the fuck is that?”

“It’s a movie, idiot.” Pierre shuts his phone off. “Starring who? Christina Ricci.”

“Vraiment? You think his crush is going to show up wearing… a white gown?” Joris asks, his mind stuck on the outfit he’d seen just seconds ago. “This doesn’t make sense.”

“Well Carlos and I agreed, so. Two to two. And Carlos says she and her friends always wear silly costumes like these. So if she shows up as Christina, what better way to start conversation than to dress up as Casper?”

Charles’ eyes widen with comical horror. “No. No, no, no. Did the ghost and the kid fuck?”

“No!” The two men across him yell in unison.

“Right!” He gesticulates. “So it’s not a couples’ costume!”

“But it’s still—” Pierre pauses. “It still matches. Trust me on this one, mate.” He smiles. “We even brought the supplies.”

—

The party is a hit as soon as Charles and his group enter. The former finds refuge at the table, unwilling to socialize. Pierre roams for a bit and ends up finding you almost immediately—you’re wearing low-waisted pants, a strappy top, and you sport alternating streaks of blond and black in your hair.

“Hey!” He calls, jogging up to you. “I heard you were coming as a Christina. Guess who I am?”

You rake a hand through the streaks in your hair and smile. “Not just any Christina. The artist. Xtina? You know?” You twirl a bit, the dark material of your strappy pants swishing as you go, as if the movement will help Pierre deduce the costume’s identity. “Whatever. You’ll get it. Lando is—we’re matching tonight, but I g—it wouldn’t make any more sense if you don’t understand it.” You sigh a bit and gesture vaguely to the crowd behind you, referring to the Eminem-dressed Lando, who you guess is currently caught in the thick of.

“Xtina?” Iks-tina, he repeats, clearly confused. “I remember hearing… somebody saying you were going as a… a Christina.”

“Chris-tina, Xtina, yeah. Christina Aguilera.” You smile, fingers pinching at the material of your belt. “Anyway—where is everyone? I’ve only seen Daniel’s costume and then yours.” The recent memory of Danny’s neon orange traffic cone costume bumping into everybody flashes in your mind.

“Save yourself,” he huffs, smoothing calloused hands over the denim of his jeans. “Zhou and Esteban came as Bella and Jacob, Max as a Tifosi. Anyway”—he points to his ensemble—“guess yet?”

Your mental images of each cited costume are cut short. “Aha! You’re, um. Yes! You’re Ken from the Barbie movie,” you crack finally, remembering the revealing denim vest and jeans combo from the film you’d watched four times over in theaters a few months ago. “Wow, even your briefs say Ken. Very accurate. Minus the non-bleached hair.”

He tuts and shrugs. “I’m no Alex. What’d he come as?”

“He and Lily matched—Sonny and Cher.”

“Let me guess,” Pierre starts, and already you’re nodding because you can tell he’s going to predict exactly how the night has turned out, “Alex is Cher?”

“Wig and sequined dress and all.” You nod, laughing and squinting; Alex’s tall figure, head clad in a long, fringey, black wig, stands out above the rest. “Oh, I did see Carlos at the bar. Ricky Martin?”

Pierre really laughs at that, a loud, distinctly French guffaw involuntarily forced past his lip glossed mouth. “What the fuck, mate! Ricky Martin?! He’s El Profesor from La Casa de Papel. You know, Money Heist? Bella ciao? Oh, my God, he’s going to fucking freak if he hears—heard you said that.”

“He seriously gave off Ricky Martin vibes,” you defend in-between laughs of your own. “So that’s everyone? Oh—oh. Charles! What did… I never saw him! He kept telling me how excited he was for his costume, too…” Just a few hours ago, at that—a boisterous voice honing into the your voicemail inbox, boasting about a costume while you prepped for the party with Lissie and Lily. Your eyes peruse the room, but the lighting is too dark and vague for you to make out anything you haven’t already seen.

“Oh. Charles?” Pierre’s voice lilts higher. “Um. Yeaaah. Um.”

You, however, are sufficiently distracted by your own search for him, and you fail to notice Pierre’s clear scrambling attempt to stall you. He takes a long swig of beer and clears his throat. “He’s just, well, around. I should actually—excuse me, I need to actually go look for him. I owe him a drink.”

“Oh? Oh, okay. Well—be careful?”

You’re a bit surprised by his sudden, jolted departure, but bid him a rushed goodbye anyway. He waves back vaguely, his eyebrows furrowed into an expression of worry as he shoves his way back into the crowd and toward the area littered with tables. It’s only then that Lissie surfaces from the crowd, scratching absently at her nose as she crashes into you with a floaty giggle.

“Lis, you’re all sticky.” You place two palms flat against her shoulders and push her off. “Are you high?”

“Yes but not drunk.” She giggles again, eyes fluttering.

“Oh—that’s not. Whatever, I guess.” You exhale and cross your arms over your chest. “Who’ve you been with?” She listens, plays with the braid in her hair, matching her getup as Lara Croft.

“Um, the deejay. I gave him my number, but he’s actually pretty fucking weird. Come on, I want to pee.” As always, her speech quickens to something inhuman, an effect elicited by alcohol; giving you essentially zero time to react, she loops a hand around yours and drags you with ferocity to the nearest restroom. She moves so aggressively through the thickly-packed crowd you barely have time to react or say hi to people you’re acquainted with en route.

You whiz by the door, and in the rush, you notice Pierre entering the one adjacent with a worried expression etched onto his face. Just minutes ago you’d been conversing—you wonder why he’s suddenly become privy to worries.

“So the deejay,” says Lissie, effectively distracting you for the time being. You hum to signify you’re listening, fixing bits of your outfit in the mirror as she kicks different stalls open to judge their cleanliness. “One, he was dressed up as James Bond. Which is just about the most fucking pretentious thing ever. Two, all he played was Chainsmokers. You’re telling me this pub—club—whatever—in Mexico could only afford to commission this guy? Three, he was”—she kicks the last door open and a gasp escapes her and morphs into a semi-shriek—“a ghost?!”

“Ghosted you? Already?” Your eyes, focused previously on re-lining your lips, flits to Lissie’s in the reflection. She’s distracted, staring at the contents of a stall with comically wide eyes. “What’s up? S’that a fucking glory hole or something?”

“No!” She yells when you approach, immediately lunging forward to pull it shut. “No. It’s—I saw a roach. Serves us for going to a fucking… pub. Don’t go in there, it’s…” She exhales a long breath. “It was a mama roach and… with eggs.”

“What are you talking about?” This isn’t even a pub, it’s a nightclub—one with a door fee that definitely did not warrant rogue cockroaches in the water closet. “Lis, you’re drunk-hallucinating.” You’re not even sure if that’s a thing, but you shove past her and push the stall door open again, ready to come face-to-face with, maybe, a sleeping Tinkerbell or a puking black cat. Worst case scenario, shit on the floor; worst-er case scenario, Lissie is right and you’ve stepped into a den of roaches.

Weirdest case scenario, though, if that’s an actual thing: Charles Leclerc seated on the closed toilet seat, face painted white, wearing an all-white ensemble of a large white shirt, shorts, high socks, and sneakers. He’s got two hands on either side of the wall, as if he’d been preparing to escape; how or to where, you’re clueless. Why he’s here, you’re even more stumped.

His entire face is a stark white, with black smudges of face paint on his forehead (eyebrows, you’re guessing); his hair’s been curled by the humid air at this club, and he looks like himself in all the ways he totally does not, eyes big and caught when yours click onto them.

Despite confusion, you chalk it up, as one would rationally do at a party, to intoxication. You spend a few bated breaths staring at him staring at you, his face of pure shock and embarrassment enough to sober up a drunk for a few days. “Hi.” You can hear yourself say it, but you’re so caught off-guard and full of confusion it feels alien.

“Hey,” he says, wiping four fingers over his stubborn face paint with a smile. The smile and the paint barely fade. “I’m a ghost.”

“I see. Classic.” You pause. “I’m Chr… nevermind. Um—are you okay?”

“A bit, uh—a tad bit drunk. I seem to be in the ladies’ room.”

“Yeah, you seem to be,” you recite back to him, amusement quickly overtaking confusion. “I think Pierre was looking for you. Let me go get him. Lis, make sure he doesn’t…” You gesture a puking movement, and the pair watch and listen to your shoes click against the tile, before the door swings open and then shut again.

“Coast is clear.” Lissie’s voice has been lowered to a conspiratorial whisper. “I reckon everyone you know is already looking for you?”

“This is a disaster.” He rubs frantically at the face paint, but it’s horribly futile. “You know, I didn’t even realize I was in the ladies’ room until you two came in. She cannot see me like this.”

“She already fucking has, mate.” Lissie sounds exasperated. “Whose idea was this? If you say Pierre I swe—”

“—Pierre—”

“—ar to Jesus fucking Christ, Charles—I can’t keep saving you from Pierre’s antics.” She grumbles out a sigh. “What are you supposed to be, even? Have you—did you see how hot she looks? This is like… you look like a… I can’t—” She lets herself taper off, so disbelievingly shocked at his odd costume.

“I’m Casper the Ghost!” Lissie mentally forms a crude picture of the kid ghost, which looks absolutely nothing like what’s in front of her. “Casper was opposite Christina Ricci. Pierre told me so.”

“That’s the dumbest analogy ever, holy Christ. You look like a poster child for some…” She regards him for a moment. “Anemia advert.”

“Take that back.”

“You don’t really have the upper hand here, Charles,” says Lissie with a grimace. “I’m texting Pierre. Are you—did you even get drunk?”

“No,” he woes. “I am totally sober. I had to lie. Pierre went to the table and told me that my—that the costume we planned—it was wrong, and I just—I ran to the bathroom.” Lissie can’t help but laugh at the story, raising her camera to record the incriminating evidence.

Mid-video, Charles’ white face droops and his painted lips part to ask: “You think she found me cute?”

—

Charles likes finding things about you. He supposes the first time he realized just how much he liked hearing you talk about yourself—which you rarely did—happened in São Paulo. He’d been stressing over a spiel to recite in front of a camera, rewriting over words for hours to make everything sound more natural.

Each margin had been hastily written on with pencil, run-on sentences with semicolons in the place of periods. The team scriptwriter didn’t do much to make his lines sound more natural and less like they’d just been spat out of an online translator. You peeked into the media pen and coughed. You don’t belong here, do you?

Tch, he clicked his tongue, turning to offer a smile. I’m working on a script for Sunday. Portugese stuff.

I can help, you responded, walking slowly over toward him. You smiled quietly, approaching slowly like you were waiting for him to greenlight your offer. He did so by pulling a chair out for you, and once you sat you traced a nail over each line, murmuring them under your breath.

You speak Portugese?

You looked up and gave a half-shrug, laughing like you were amused with yourself. Kind of. It’s not very good, but it’s enough. You resumed your editing and he felt content to stare, admire, watch every movement of your lips align with the syllables of the words. You asked for a pencil and began writing something much cleaner. He couldn’t help but let himself be in awe of your intelligence.

You read over the last few lines and turned to face him. Let me guess, you said. You want to make a pun on Ferrari before you say bye.

Ah, he laughs. Yeah.

See, I know you so well, you half-joked, scrawling idle edits on the margins of his script.

He was already looking at you when you turned back to him, seeking his response, agreement, anything. When your eyes met, something caught at your chest—it tugged, tugged, then tugged again, a dull feeling burrowed deep in you. Words failed to wrench themselves free, but once they did, all you could manage was a faint—What?

Nothing. He smiled and shook his head, like he was waiting for you to figure it out. You know… sometimes, I wish I met you sooner. He does. He wishes he knew you back then, when you first learned Portugese. Or when you were in high school, so you could see just how exponentially awkward he was in his own teenage years. He thinks sometimes that he’s lost too much time, met and liked you too late.

Hm, you breathed out, because you didn't know what else to. I know why—so you could always have me. As a proofreader. Right?

Hah. The tilt of his laugh was high and mocking, and he stuck his tongue out, as if to punctuate that. He looked away then, like he wasn’t ready to say certain things to your face just yet. Quietly he added, Always have you… something like that.

—

If you ask Charles what he’s doing hiding in a laundry basket of a luxury hotel in São Paulo, he wouldn’t be able to answer you, either. It’s been some time since the disaster that was Caspergate Cancun 2023, and if he’s perfectly honest, he doesn’t feel like facing you again for the rest of his life. Pierre, of course, has other plans.

All he knows is last night, Pierre suggested he leave a huge vase of roses for you to arrive to in the living room of your hotel; as he planted it in said room, the door’s lock turned, and he sought a hiding place in the adjacent bedroom. Judging by the prevalent scent of Dior Sauvage, this is Lando Norris’ room.

Did u get to escape??? Pierre’s text irritates him. At the same time, the light flips on; Charles curls in on himself, remaining perfectly still. Lando’s voice trills through the room. “I didn’t leave those roses for either of you,” he’s saying to you and Lissie.

Charles hears you hum. “They’re so beautiful.” His heart swells. “I gotta run for a sec, pick up something from Will’s room.” A few seconds pass and the door opens and shuts, which means Charles is currently alone with Lando and Lissie. Which means he needs to plot his escape as soon as he can. Otherwise he’ll be caught in the crossfire and much too embarrassed to—

A foot meets his concealed body and he lets out an oof! as he’s sent flying out of the hamper, along with strewn-around clothes. He keeps his eyes screwed shut, scared shitless and in a fetal position; he only unfurls when a socked foot kicks at his ass. Above him are Lando and Lissie, both extremely confused.

“How did you know I was…?!” He asks, aghast.

“My fucking laundry was breathing, mate, s’not that hard to leave alone,” Lando retorts sharply. “What are you doing?!”

“I left roses for her,” he explains fruitlessly, gesturing to the vase outside. “But you came in, and this was the closest hiding place. I was told this would be a great gesture.”

“Right. Where did you even get that advice?” Lando tries to suppress the critical tone in his voice, but judging by Charles’ embarrassed grimace, he’s failed. Beside him, Lissie makes a hm? noise, goading Charles to answer quicker.

“I got it from.” Charles pauses. “A friend,” he ekes out vaguely.

“No shit. Who?”

“Um—” Charles’ eyes are shut. “Pierre.”

In unison, Lissie and Lando both release incredulous gasps, throwing their hands up in the air. Lissie points at the mess of clothes in the corner of the room to emphasize her point and asks loudly, with comical cynicism: “This seemed like proper romantic advice to you?”

“Scratch that. Pierre’s words seemed like proper romantic advice to you? His girlfriend is—!” Lando places a flat palm a few inches off the floor and shakes it a few times to insinuate Kika’s age, his disbelieving expression growing funnier by the second. “Mate!” His voice cracks mid-syllable, though even this mishap seems to be the least crazy thing about tonight.

Charles, burning with humiliation, releases a shaky sigh. “I know! I know!”

“You don’t know!” They shout simultaneously in response, disappointed if anything. Just then the door opens again and your two best friends hurry to throw assorted pieces of laundry on the lying Charles, exiting to make sure you don’t suspect anything.

“Hey,” you say slowly, because they’re both posed the exact same. “Am I… missing something?”

“A shower, girl,” Lando says, and you flip him off before retreating into your room.

Belatedly you ask, “Did you find out who sent those flowers?”

“Some loser, probably,” he calls right back. Charles emerges to poke him accusatorily, but Lando just shrugs. Charles definitely does not have the upper hand here, anyway.

“Just get out,” Lissie says, completely done with Charles’ antics. “And stop. Listening. To Pierre.”

He rinses the odor of laundry off him once he’s at his room, but thinks, despite himself, that you called the flowers beautiful.

—

Are you—

—no. I’m not. You wiped a hand over your face and caught mascara along with it. I’m fine, it’s fine.

What he said, it wasn’t…

I said, you turned to face him, eyes rimmed and mouth trembling. You didn’t finish your sentence, just tore the microphone off your lapel and buried your face in your hands. There was always going to be a first time. Your first time insulted on a live feed, after the Abu Dhabi weekend, was not any less shocking. You felt small. You felt humiliated.

You didn’t want to show Charles any of it. You moved around the green room, picking up shit to throw into your bag. Thank God the season was fucking over, you kept thinking. I feel so, you said, still failing to finish anything you started to say. You’d been called an annoying bitch by a fan of one of the drivers—to your face, as you exited the paddock.

He moved nearer. Charles, you said, a half-sob, and then you were allowing him to crash, allowing him to hug you. Your arms were weak when they wrapped back around him, linking softly in the small of his back. You sobbed hard into his chest until his grey tee was dark with tears. I want out, I just want out.

You’ll lord your career over that prick when you’ve made a million dollars doing this, he said. You do it too well to want out. You’re too smart. You’re too good. You cried harder, your face hurt and every word felt wrestled unintentionally, like it took too much work to say much at all. I’m sorry, you said. You should go.

No, he said. He held you closer. Not until you feel better.

—

He cries after Abu Dhabi. Bad season, everyone’s said. You snap a few smiling pictures with Max, who wins, and Lily and Lissie and the lot of them, the people who made the year so great. You notice an absence in all the pictures and you find it in a room in the Ferrari motorhome.

You’ve found you both find solace in words. In reassurance. But you’ve also found that your connection enables you both to reassure without having to say anything at all. You sit beside him, lean your head on his shaky shoulder, and wait.

“I was waiting for you to come,” he admits brokenly. “I was just not feeling good.”

“I know,” you respond. “It was a bad race. Shit strat.”

He’s quiet. His breaths are ragged and wet and shaky. “Will you stay? Until I feel better?”

You don’t move. “I’ll stay for longer.”

—

In the kitchen Charles unscrews himself a beer. The sky outside is pink and the sun hides behind faraway mountains, gradually darkening the entire atmosphere, save for the few woolly clouds. He’s by the patio door so he can spot people in the wide yard: Pierre, exchanging a Frisbee with Lando. Max, Alex, and Lissie engaged in an intense match of Uno.

They’re all gathered here in Spain at Carlos’ behest to celebrate the dawn of winter, and the end of the season, Max’s third championship.

He’s yet to spot you—he’d been told earlier you’d be late—but it doesn’t matter. He’s been feeling uncharacteristically himself all day anyway. He wrote that on his notebook this morning, on the flight here, verbatim. Looked up the word to spell it right and everything. He remembers you saying it, that time in London where you and Lando took him around and annihilated Borough Market before lounging on the grassy knoll of a nearby park. I feel so uncharacteristically happy, you’d joked. The syllables were too stunted and too fast for Charles to nail it. But he feels it now. Uncharacteristic.

He tells everyone he’s fine, though, and does a good job of it. Three beers in and he’s beginning to trick himself into thinking he actually is doing fine. Nobody suspects he’s been feeling empty from such a bad finish to the season—the season that was already bad in itself. He hasn’t been feeling his usual drive, his usual appetite. He doesn’t know when it will return.

“Here you are.” Carlos has this goofy smile on his face when he bounds into the kitchen, depositing empty dishes at the sink. “Listen, I have to tell you something.”

Charles and Carlos have always shared an easy dynamic—they’ve both always wanted the same thing. Racing has always been at the forefront of their minds. It makes conversation passionate, easy, fun; it was what helped build their now-natural rapport in the first place. “Yeah?” He prods, leaning against the counter and tipping fizz into his mouth.

“I invited everyone here to announce… something important.” Carlos crosses his arms. “But I wanted you to be the first to know.”

“Me?” Charles knits his eyebrows and smiles. “Wow.” He gulps, cocks his head. “What is it, then? Are you switching teams?”

Carlos’ goofy smile grows. “Isa and I are engaged. I’m retiring next year.”

“You—you’re—” Charles laughs and shuts his eyes all at once. “Oh, my God, mate! Congratulations!” The overload of information isn’t lost on him, but he channels it all into a hug. “Are you really retiring, though? I mean. Wow, this is amazing news—but—”

“I was sure as soon as I asked,” Carlos says squarely, smiling as if he’s conjured an image of Isa’s smiling face (which is likely the case). “As soon as she said yes. As soon as I bought the ring!” He laughs aloud, so overwhelmed with happiness of recalling everything. “I’m so glad you were the first person I told.”

“Besides Lando,” Charles says, because he knows it’s true.

“Besides Lando.” Carlos smiles. “I’m… dios, I’m happy. I always knew I’d have something to look forward to after racing.” They hug again, and then he clambers past Charles and into the patio, where he resumes the façade of being unengaged and still a driver. Left behind, Charles thinks over it himself. What does he have to look forward to after racing? All his life, racing is all that ever existed to him.

The announcement comes eventually—when it’s dark out, intermittent stars white and twinkly against the black above. Charles has once again turned into a blushy mess because you arrived a few hours prior, wearing a lovely dress and with your hair down in messy waves and you said hi to him earlier without him approaching first. They present a stupid, but very Carlos-and-Isa ring-shaped cake to announce it, and somebody queues up music and everyone’s cheering. Of course everyone’s cheering—it’d be impossible for this announcement to not come with bouts of yelling and cheering and goodbyes to Carlos, who accepts them with glee and—dare he say—excitement.

Charles remembers their first year as teammates, the jokes they’d made about needing to beat the other out. For both of them, he recalls, it’s only ever been the drive to race. He didn’t think Carlos would even entertain the idea of retiring yet. He wonders when he will. The thought of it alone is enough to send a well of anxiety run deep into him—which happens after he congratulates the couple, so he excuses himself to the empty outdoors area to get fresh air back into him.

He didn’t mean it, but he finds you already there. “Hi,” you say when he slides the door shut. “You okay?”

“Just… yeah, I’m fine.” You smell faintly like smoke. “It’s crazy, huh. Everyone’s… moving on.”

“So Carlos told everyone, then,” you say, pursing your lips and waiting for his response. He closes his eyes and lets a soft exhale escape him, warm air out and fresh air in, a welcome change from the heady atmosphere in the party. “I knew. I bought that God awful cake. I kept saying get a normal one but they both wanted it to be shaped like a ring.” You punctuate your sentence with a crisp laugh, a stunted exhale of air to break the tension.

You have a natural sway over words, graceful and beautiful and commanding, something he only wishes he could be. For so long he’d been told the feedback loop of one and the same thing: you’re good. You’re the best. You’re going to be the next big thing. And this season had just… aggravated every single insecurity he’s picked up in his years of racing. He wishes sometimes he’d been told something else: you suck. You’re normal. You’re irrelevant. Then at least he wouldn’t exist in some odd panopticon of feeling on top of the world and yet looking at it from the bottom of a pitch black abyss.

“Yeah,” he says instead, wringing his hands. He mimics the wrist movements he’s made to do during gym hours. “It’s wild how—I mean, not really wild, but. I just can’t… even picture my life after racing.”

“You’re young, that’s warranted,” you laugh. “You’re also… I mean, even if you drop out of racing tonight, it’s not like you’re going to become dirt poor or anything. You could become a bloody orthodontist and people will still love you.”

“Will they?”

He didn’t mean to say it aloud but out it comes, garbled and rushed and he’s a bit embarrassed for sounding like a child in front of somebody he finds so beautiful. The silence is suspended and dry, and for a minute all he hears and feels is the slow rise and fall of his chest. To somehow mend the vulnerability, he tries again. “It’s not—I just think I’ll be lonely if I decide to stop racing.”

The fact that Carlos can say with so much ease that he’s willing to drop his career to ensure his pending marriage lasts is almost terrifying, because Charles knows he wants that. He knows—he’s always known—that he wants that intimacy, that realness, but for it to come at the cost of something he’s known for so long is so scary it’s almost a dealbreaker.

“Lonely?” You echo, voice tinged with concern. “Charles—”

“Lonely.”

He says it with an edge to his voice, so final, so steadfast. Loneliness is what he’s always feared and he knows, with a deep drawling punch to his gut, that loneliness is what will come if he decides to stop racing. Even if he’s tired. Even if he’s so pent up with frustration and loss and anger. Racing is all he’s ever known, it’s all he is—when he’s not tied to it, who is he? “Like no one… like I’m just standing in front of what I’m supposed to be, and when people see me, that’s all they see—what’s behind me. Right through me.”

“Well, you’re off racing right now,” you respond, trodding carefully. “So, well. Do you feel that way?”

He knows what you mean: it’s winter break, so he’s not driving or doing some form of it every single day. And he knows in turn what to answer: no, not really, he doesn’t really feel detached from it because there’s a low anticipation in his belly that tells him he’ll be doing it all again soon. But he chooses to interpret it differently; differently, but not falsely.

“I th… I don’t feel lonely,” he says, “when I talk to you. You see me.”

Your stomach drops and your heart begins to pulse a mile a minute, knuckles tightening where they’ve gripped onto the wooden post of the patio. You can feel the air in your lungs pass through every divot of your body as it escapes and arrives in long, shaky breaths. He’s looking at you, his eyebrows knitted like he wants—needs an answer, if you’d be kind enough to please give him one.

“I…” You bite your lip, every thought in your head at odds with the other.

Time feels like rubber, like it’s been stretched and manipulated and Carlos is ducking out to announce that it’s time to blow out candles on the stupid ring-shaped cake and you’ve taken too long to respond and your body feels too heavy but your heart feels too light and your eyes are blinking, open and shut and open again, and you feel like the wind could honestly blow you away now because Charles has given you a neutral nod and left you alone again, to contemplate the weight of what he’s finally, finally admitted, tonight here under the sky of Spain.

You move a hand over your hair, watch him walk away. The words lodge themselves in your throat, but they’re there.

—

One minute after you realized you liked Charles, you swallowed the feelings until they were barely decipherable.

In happened in Dublin, at a pub on St. Paddy’s Day, when you’d emerged fresh out of a breakup with the most arseholic Irishman you’d ever had the displeasure of meeting. And funnily enough, it happened without Charles’ presence. You’d spent the day at Liam’s, hours of fighting over so many things—the growth of your career and the decimation of his, where your relationship had soured, why you never came to visit him, Charles, the sodding bloke you like so much—until finally, you took your things and left.

Wise, because you might’ve honestly gone insane if you stayed a minute longer, attuning your ears to the deafening feedback loop of his voice. Also decidedly unwise, because you had a piece of luggage and barely any battery, in a full city of people you didn’t know at all.

There was no chance Liam would let you return, and no chance you wanted to, for that matter—the fact still stood, though, that you needed to kill the night before your flight to France left at 6AM. You entered the first pub you heard, deposited your bag at the coat check for an extra couple of euros, and accepted the first pint thrust into your hand and first leprechaun hat plopped atop your head.

In between watching people compare how they poured Guinness pints, Sinead O’Connor songs, and exchanging headdresses with a random stranger, you found yourself impressingly drunk. The Irish did it too well.

A university student stumbled past your stool, tears in her eyes; she stopped to steal a shot of whiskey lying unattended on the bar. You looped a hand around her wrist and stared at her menacingly. Manners?!

Fuck manners, she said wetly, wrenching every word out with great effort. Nobody paid either of you any attention. I just caught my best friend and boyfriend kissing. Her accent was unmistakably Irish and was stronger with the tears.

Oh, you said, loosening your threatening grip. Sorry.

Don’t be. I’m sorry I could ever be so stupid, she said, aghast, before finally stalking outside the pub. Half an hour later, you wound up at a table of thirty-somethings, all belting along to a folky sounding song.

Drunkenly you slurred out, I thought it was a stereotype.

What was, love? One of them paused her singing, dipping down to listen to you properly. Your cheek was smushed against the varnished wood, moving with every syllable you eked out.

The songs. You sound like… you belong in the 19th century.

She laughed at that, surfacing and yelling something to the band onstage you couldn’t quite decipher. The song reached its peak, loud and getting the whole crowd singing along, before fading into a familiar opening. S’this better? She asked, her voice slightly raised above the guitar.

You looked up. I liked the other one too, to be fair. M’not a fucking anti-Irish.

Nobody said that, love. Come sing. She hauled you upward, exaggerating her arm swinging in the air so you’d follow suit, which you did. You hummed the opening, eyes fluttering open and closed. You imagined opening them again and finding Charles across the room, already looking, with the same charming, boyish smile on his face that came to you as comfort.

You thought back to the dinner in London, the feeling of his shirt against your shoulder, the way he’d gotten you so easy and laughing and babbly, something you never got with Liam. You squeezed your eyes shut and exhaled raggedly. Fuck.

Linger’ll do that to you, your companion mused. Around you, the entire pub sang along to the song that served as the backdrop to your all-encompassing romantic epiphany. Missing a lover, huh?

No, just… You opened your eyes, watched the band sing out the rest of the prechorus before they slid into the next verse. A new kind of air had crept over the pub, one that exemplified just how much this song could mean to anyone, no matter who. You shut them again and saw Charles. The green of his eyes, mossy on some days and bright on others. The moles on his face. The grooves of his hand, the way it wrapped around things like pens, mics, bottles, your fingers. His voice, how he curved around words. He always knew exactly what you meant even if it took you ages to get to the point, even if you felt like you didn’t know what you meant exactly.

You opened your eyes. Suddenly fights with Liam didn’t matter. Whatever little sympathy you had left evaporated as you listened to the lyrics and realized, with a damning force, that you were thinking of Charles. And this was not weak, this was not vague, this was a strong thing that took you off your feet like a gust of wind, hurtling you out of the pub. You thought of every time your eyes met his, both of you already laughing at something else present. Every time he saw you at the end of a busy work day and asked if you were doing alright.

Just this guy, I suppose. His name’s… yeah. We’ve been friends for ages. He’s really very talented. Very kind. Your voice was drowned out by the music but you didn’t intend for anything to be heard, anyway. And he’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. He always knows what to say. He’s not in Dublin tonight, not even in Ireland, for God’s sake.

He’s your boyfriend, then?

You closed them slowly. No. T’wouldn’t be very smart to date him.

Is he an arse?

No either. It’s just too late.

I’m sorry, love.

Don’t be, you mused, eyes still shut as Linger came to a close. I’m sorry I could ever be so stupid.

—

Charles should be in Monaco. You should be in London. But at four-thirty PM, leaning against the counter of a tiny café in Dublin, you cross paths for the first time in weeks, and everything tilts on its axis.

He notices you first, because he hears you thank the barista quietly. It’s not your reporter voice, not the one you put one when you’re interviewing him or his teammate or his fellow athletes. But it’s your real one, and it’s the one he thinks he could hear through a snowstorm.

A tuxedo-clad man exits and suddenly you’re there. You’re wearing a white top, low neck and thin straps covered by a cardigan. You’re sliding coins into the pocket of your jeans and he watches your hand freeze, drags his eyes back up to you, finds you’re already looking.

You look beautiful, he thinks. You put on a lot of makeup for the cameras, and you looked gorgeous, but seeing you like this—caught, almost, in a moment you didn’t expect to see him—you look unbelievably beautiful. He aches with it.

“You look well,” he says first when he opens the café door for you. “What’s your business in Ireland?”

“Acquainting myself with my new coworker.” You wait for him to follow and squint when the sun hits your eye. “We’ve been here three weeks, fly back to London next Monday. You?”

“It does seem weird for me to be here,” he observes absently. “I needed a change of pace, I think. Gear up for the season.” He shakes his half-full cup of coffee. “Where are you staying?”

“Just up ahead.” A slow silence overcomes you both. “Come over. I have beer. I know you can’t be fucked to have coffee.” He laughs and nods, following you through the road and up into a flat—a BNB, if he’s guessing. There’s a tiny landing and then stairs to a wider living area, where you proceed to unwrap the croissant you’d gotten a few minutes earlier. You chuck it into the fridge and produce two bottles of beer in one go.

“Sit,” you gesture to the spot beside you, and he sits himself there. “We can talk. We should.”

You’ve shrugged your cardigan off, and he observes every detail of your exposed skin, the way your hair layers atop it. Right as he opens his mouth to respond, a blond girl enters, rings of mascara caking her eyes and a wine glass twiddled in-between thumbs. She’s talking her head off and only pauses when she spots Charles.

“Hhhh…iiii.”

“Salut.”

“You’re Charles?” She notices how close the two of you are seated together.

“Yes,” he says.

“Charles, this is Robyn—my coworker’s friend. And by extension my friend.” You pat her knee and point to Charles to get them properly introduced. “She leeches off the apartment.”

“You love me,” she retorts, mockingly—but sweetly. “Anyway, sorry to intrude. I was just on the phone with my situationship.” She rolls her eyes. “Does he think I give two shits about goodnight texts? It feels impossible to be romantically satisfied these days.”

Charles grunts. “I hear that,” he says, just to make Robyn feel less excluded. You get up then, to fuck around at the kitchen sink—he suspects you’re not actually doing chores—but you come back with wet hands and you sit yourself across Charles, on the loveseat, instead of next to him.

“The thing is, right,” she gulps wine, “there’s such a thing with dating now,” Robyn says, not missing a beat, her Geordie accent curving round the syllables with a distinctive twang. She stares at the opaque red liquid in her glass, like that will supplement her with more words. “Like a deal. A big deal. Everyone’s making this huge thing out of it, and it’s like, can’t we be in our twenties and fuck around occasionally?” She laughs, a high-pitched, tapered noise.

You shift from where you’re seated, buried into the material of the seat. It’s quiet and beginning to touch awkward, so you speak in a rough voice: “I dunno, I kind of… get it.”

“Oh do you, now,” she responds, voice saturated with wine. “No, it’s—I was joking. Of course you would, you’re absolutely fucking gorgeous, is all.”

Suddenly you feel all too seen and inclined to touch a fingertip to your cheek, feather light. You blink so you won’t feel tempted to meet Charles’ eyes, because you feel them on you. “It’s—thank you, I mean. It’s nothing to do with that. I just always feel it’s impossible to find someone who loves you. I feel like I’m not very lovable.”

“You? You’re bloody fucking likable!” Robyn’s laugh is so disbelieving you find yourself semi-convinced. “You’re a bit intimidating, yeah, but you’re lovable as fuck, babe.”

You double down anyway, voice thin. “Right. I don’t think I’m very good at being… affectionate.”

“Hah. Bull. You’re affectionate with… with Charles! I’ve heard you talk about him to Jane.”

She turns to Charles before you have the chance to defend yourself. To him she asks: “Is she affectionate with you?”

But it’s basically rhetorical. Everyone speculates, sees the way you two bend the line between friendship and romance, the care with which you treat Charles, the way you two understand each other in ways impossible for anyone else in your orbit. Fuck if it’s not overtly physical. Robyn’s known you three weeks and has never even met Charles until seven minutes ago and already she’s sensed the energy, the difference, even if she hasn’t seen you do so much as embrace.

“It’s—” You say and say too quickly. You wind up slowing your speech so you don’t sound too defiant and lean backwards, willing yourself to relax. “It’s… different with Charles.”

“Different?” She repeats, miming every dip and rise of your voice. “Why?”

“We’re close.” You refuse to meet his eyes. “Be—because we’re good friends. I feel… things are… just. They’re different. That’s all, really.” Barely satisfied with the answer you eked out, you cross your arms over your torso like it’ll help shield you from the interrogation going on. Briefly you let your eyes fall on Charles; he’s reclined, eyes all over the place, blinking in quick flashes.

“But you admit it, at least?” She smiles. “That you’re affectionate, I mean.”

“Only with…” you taper off, unwanting to dig yourself a deeper hole. “Right. Sure, yeah.”

“Well then,” she says, eyebrows raising as she dows the rest of her glass. She sets it down on the low wooden table with a clink. “I’ll get going. Don’t let me keep you two from shagging or whatever.”

“We don’t f—shag,” you interrupt, voice sharp. “And you’re not keeping us at all. Me, at all.”

Us sounds so exclusive, you realize as it leaves your lips. Us. It tastes like sour cherries on your tongue, bleeds all over. Robyn gives you a look. In response, you insist on seeing her out, leaving Charles at the sofa, elbows on his knees, hands toying with the neck of the beer bottle. He can make out faint words but he doesn’t try translating or deciphering them, just listens to your muffled voice peek through every few words. You sound amused, also accused, also endeared—a bit irritated. You end it with a laugh.

You clamber back in after a few minutes and find him at the top of the stairs.

“Sorry,” you wave off, rolling your eyes to fend Robyn’s earlier interrogation efforts of. “She’s very strong-willed.” You climb the stairs, your striped linen shorts folding with every movement of your legs. Finally you make it to the top, on the second-to-the-last stair, staring up at him.

“You know,” he says, watching you ascend to the top finally, but you’re still staring upward. “You should know.”

“Should know what?”

“I missed you.”

You inhale and are grateful to find the air is all him. “I missed you, too.”

“In a different way.”

“Me, too,” you echo again, voice quiet. “I missed you. It feels like I’ve missed you all my life.”

He can hear your still, controlled breathing. “Thank you for seeing me. Even when, you know, it’s… hard. You know what I mean.”

“I do,” you say. “It’s never difficult, not…” With you.

He leans down and captures your mouth in his then, like it’s a thirst he’s always needed quenched. You allow it, kiss him back like you’ve needed this your entire life. His lips are chapped, but you don’t mind—Dublin’s cold. He kisses like he’s smiling, like he’s happy, and you think maybe that’s not far off. He moves downward, to your jaw; lower, along the column of your throat, around your collarbones, cornering you against the wall, letting you lean against it.

Charles’ kisses are light and soft, but also heavy, like he’s trying to waste as little time as possible. You sigh, feeling light, feeling ecstatic. He puts two hands on either side of your face, presses your foreheads together, and shuts his eyes.

You feel the divots of his fingers on your hip, your waist, places he’s never touched before. “I’m sorry I left,” you breathe into him. “Back in Spain. In Madrid. I wanted to think about it. About what you said. About everything, about you.”

“I’m glad I found you here, then.”

You tiptoe to kiss him again, because now that you’ve had it once you’re terrified you won’t have it again. In-between kisses he picks you up, cages you fully against the wall, and you breathe shaky little exhales. It builds up quicker and harder; you feel his cock at your hip and shiver, eyelashes fluttering. “Upstairs,” you say breathlessly.

He likes knowing you want this, because he’ll give you whatever you want. He’d fuck you for hours. Have you shaking, eking out moans of his name. He’d whisper praise up and down your ear. He wants this just as much, if not more.

“I want you, so much,” you exhale when he lies you both down on your bed. “So much.”

He tugs your shorts off, then your panties. He doesn’t usually lack self-restraint, but he thinks he’s never felt this much temptation in his life. He’s so hard. He brings one hand to his thigh and squeezes his dick through his pants, but it doesn’t provide him with any kind of relief. You’re needy already, whimpering, mind dizzy. He slides a finger up your slit and watches you screw your eyes shut.

Slowly he sinks in, watches you accustom to the stretch. “Wanted this,” you breathe out.

He thrusts in further, feels your warm cunt stretch around him, feels your breaths get hotter and quicker against his lips. But he takes it nice and slow, so he can feel every little ridge inside of you as you take all of him. “You like it?”

You nod, too dumbed down to speak. “Good girl. Pretty, pretty girl.”

He’s wanted this for so long, fucking you deep and slow and desperate. He thrusts harder, watches you unravel and your hot breaths pick up in pace. He reaches down, smears wetness around your clit as your thighs begin to shake. Your pretty, flushed face is enough to send him into overdrive, your eyes rolling back as he goads you into orgasm.

You’re still cumming around him when he takes a shaky breath, pulls you tightly back against him, and lets the pleasure take over. He fucks you full, rides his orgasm out while you ride yours out—buries his dick all the way inside, so each spurt fills your contracting pussy up.

He pulls out and collapses beside you, pressing his lips to your shoulder before lying on his back. “I’ll clean you up in a minute.” It’s quiet for a second, just you two breathing.

Then: “I did, I did think about it,” you say, voice reedy. “I thought about you.”

“Yeah?” He watches you blink at the ceiling, lets you clasp your hands onto his.

“About me, too.” You open your eyes and stare into the green.

“D’you want this?”

“Believe me,” you say, threading your fingers into his tightly. Your hair’s fussed from the sex. “I do. But—”

His heart drops.

“I don’t want to… I want you to not…” You sigh. “You know, I like seeing you. I like being that. I like knowing I make you feel good. And I want you to know you… you make me feel amazing. Like you and I… we understand each other.” You pause. “Sometimes I feel like you’re the only person who understands every inch of me.”

“Ditto,” he says, and you smile.

“I look up to you, you know? I don’t want you to anchor yourself onto me. I want you to realize that on your own. You’re smart. You’re a great driver with a shitty fucking team I hated reporting on last season.” He laughs shakily. “You know I look up to you. You know… you know I love you.”

“I do. I love you.”

“I always have. It wasn’t… it didn’t always make itself clear, but I always have. And I know I always will.” You smile. “We’ll be in different cities, in separate timezones, but if we survived the years of not telling each other how bloody fucking much we liked each other, this is nothing. When we’ve sorted ourselves out, we’ll know the right time to finally call this what it is.”

He’s never thought of himself as a writer, but his notebooks might beg to differ. Many times you’ve told him yourself that he has an affinity for describing things, especially when he lets go of language as a limitation. He wonders what you’d say if you knew the amount of times he’s tried to write about you. Careful letters or typefaces, in an effort to form a coherent picture of you, the way he sees you, the way he loves you. But he’s so scared he tears the pages off before they get too intimate, too personal, crossing the border from having a crush on you to being in love with you.

For once he’s not. He nods. It’s bittersweet, but it’s a segue to a better ending. He moves a hand over your hair and holds you close.

“You could never be unlovable,” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead because finally, he can. “I mean it.”

#f1 #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc drabble #charles leclerc smut #f1 x reader

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gabigabigabby · 7 months

Text

three in a row | l. norris

part one / two / three

lando norris x sainz!reader

the landosainz saga

a/n: last part for the qatar gp! already very excited for the usa gp 🥰🥰

synopsis: lando wins p3 in qatar

face claim: sophia weber

—

ynsainzzz

Lusail Paddock

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 698,555 others

ynsainzzz breakfast w this guy

tagged: landonorris, lando.jpg

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landonorris Fish everywhere 😭 my girl hates me

ynsainzzz landonorris you had the chicken bento shut the hell up ab fish

carlossainz55 You took Lando out for Japanese? Should've have taken me out let's be honest

ynsainzzz carlossainz55 charles told me you were farting in your sleep so i said no chance

charles_leclerc ynsainzzz it's true

pierregasly Can you tell Lando to upload on lando.jpg again

ynsainzzz pierregasly tell him yourself peter landonorris

landonorris pierregasly download the Leica app and help me develop these pics then

pierregasly landonorris sorry, shouldn't have commented

charles_leclerc You have a camera too?

ynsainzzz charles_leclerc nah dude it's an iphone camera pic w a filter on. i've found my new passion

charles_leclerc ynsainzzz which is?

ynsainzzz charles_leclerc filter making. pay attention perceval

danielricciardo Did he finally try salmon?

ynsainzzz danielricciardo no😭 my plan backfired

danielricciardo ynsainzzz hard cheese mate

landonorris ynsainzzz THERE WAS A PLAN THIS WHOLE TIME?! AND YOU TOLD DANIEL? I feel betrayed

username this is so boyfriend of lando

username the manspread. lando's not a 12-year-old kid anymore😭

carlandoooo carlos would've loved to see this. lando in a japanese restaurant...

ynsainzzz's story

carlossainz55's story

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, ynsainzzz and 591,168 others

landonorris THREE PODIUMS IN A ROW BABY!

tagged: mclaren, ynsainzzz, oscarpiastri

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ynsainzzz amor mío!!!! 🧡😭

landonorris ynsainzzz amorrrr!

ynsainzzz deserved this more than anything 🌟🌟

landonorris ynsainzzz I love you more than anything 🧡

ynsainzzz best run since lew 🙈

username ynsainzzz lewis' p20 to pole😭😭 p10 to p3 is a huge deal too! england and producing f1 drivers >>>

oscarpiastri Yes!!! 🏆🧡

carlossainz55 👏🏽👏🏽

username a papaya double podium again!!! mclaren fans are fed well and i love it! 🧡🧡

danielricciardo Yes team! 👏🏻

landonorris danielricciardo thanks baby😚

pierregasly Congrats bro! Good run! 👏🏻

landonorris pierregasly brotherrrr ❤️

maxverstappen1 Well done bro! ❤️

landonorris maxverstappen1 thanks Champ 🫡

lewishamilton Mega job 👍🏾

landonorris lewishamilton 🥹🥹

username P10 to P3 i feel like a proud mom 🥹

carlandoooo You are unreal!

ynsainzzz

liked by mclaren, charles_leclerc and 1,737,994 others

ynsainzzz 3 podiums, 3 lando unseens for the papaya girls n gays. 3 is the magic number. congratulations pet, mclaren and oscarpiastri 🧡🧡

tagged: landonorris

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landonorris Why do I look like we just had an argument in the first pic?! Caught me there b

landonorris I love youuuu 😚😚🧡

ynsainzzz landonorris love you bebé

mclaren You are the best team player, Sainz Jr! 🫡🏆🧡

ynsainzzz mclaren love this team so much 🧡

oscarpiastri You got us here too!!! Love you Sainz 🧡

ynsainzzz oscarpiastri i love you osc!! 🥹🥹🧡

charles_leclerc How happy are you? Be honest

ynsainzzz charles_leclerc are you crazy?! SUPER

charles_leclerc ynsainzzz really? Wow you really bleed orange

ynsainzzz charles_leclerc i been telling all of you

username thank you goddess sainz for these pics 😭😭😭

m81aren4ever Lando's resting B face 💀

osc4ndo love these pics 🫶🏽🫶🏽

carlossainz55 Tell your bf to smile more

ynsainzzz carlossainz55 that's all he's ever done when you were his teammate, give it a rest

username ynsainzzz lmao real tho

pierregasly Aww guys 🥹

ynsainzzz pierregasly 🥹🥹

francisca.cgomes lando fan forever!! 🤍

ynsainzzz francisca.cgomes yeeeee

username i want something like lando and y/n have in the future

#lando norris #ln #ln4 #lando norris x sister!reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x oc #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x reader #formula 1 #f1 #formula 1 social media au #formula 1 fic #f1 social media au #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic

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accio-victuuri · 2 months

Text

February CPNs

hello! it’s that time of the month again that i compile the sweets brought to us by the boys! this month started out very quiet but in this fandom will mean that things will take a turn in the next week/s. you just never know what will happen next. i have added some commentary here on certain incidents that i didn’t talk about separately on my blog to have “bonus content” for this round-up.

• XZ’s GQ cover and collaboration sweets + additional ones connected to fake rumor

• not really cpn, but our boys continue to make it in the weibo hot search trend report - i still hate sina weibo but i understand how it’s relevant for them.

• XZ’s wedding suit from the AV festival. yes, this was made for him but we just had him wear that white backless wedding suit by jacquemus for GQ and now this? hmmmm. me thinks he has a preference? lol. he prefers white and that’s fine, but the choice of what looks like a wedding suit is 👀. i am on standby, let me see if this continues.

pair it off with WYB! and it’s perfect. tho i would prefer it if they are both in white. 🤍

• xzs has the same caption as a cpf

• yibo’s watch and gg’s GQ props connection the number 91 and 3.

• chinese new year candies - gg’s weibo post, wyb’s red envelope cover clues etc

• rufeng shares new thailand fm rehearsal footage

• tencent video posting their new year vcr so close together! they could have easily posted it one after the other but maybe they didn’t want some solo fan drama. i’m happy that bobo continues to collab with 10c, and ZZ is not exclusive to 10c anymore— so hopefully this means in the future they can work on a project together <3

• clowning over XZ’s song in spring festival gala as you wish + same composer as wyb’s singles and how wyb was listening to a song from this artist lately.

• this parallel between their looks. it’s not just their characters that match each other, but their outfits from certain events. so classy!

but i think this one is the best. seeing them get recognition for their acting in the past few months has been very rewarding. all the hard work and challenges are bearing fruit. remembering them talking about wanting to become professional actors and really take that path — studying and dreaming together. now here we are 🫶🏼

• a cute tidbit, but the cat xz is playing with is called xiao wang. that’s because on it’s back looks like the character for wang! what a coincidence!!!! 🥹

• Bottled Joy stirring the CPN pot again by posting this on 2/13. As You Wish. The context of the post is that, as you wish — fans can get these wallpapers and photos of Bobo. but it’s a coincidence cause it’s the english title of the song GG sang @ BRTV Spring Festival Gala. 👀 the colors too, white and silver which is the same color combination of GG’s outfit. This may be meh to some, but knowing Bottled Joy’s cpn history, you can’t blame us.

• Golden Hour and Eason Chan songs @ yibo’s playlist

• Small weekend roundup - includes mention of asian pop magazines where the boys are both mentioned, supplement to xz using tickets for his spring festival photos last year as support of bobo’s movie and the phone card case appears.

• Rumor of Wang Yibo being in Hengdian - one / two / three ( i feel like this one is up there with the leica camera and gg’s bday cpn but this one is more risky on their part. as i have said in my posts, what is important is they are safe and happy. it’s their personal life. their relationship is between the two of them. as cpfs, we should be protecting them and not be people they are wary of. if we are not careful, we are no different from ss and yxh. )

• On 2/20, Yuehua & YBO have posted about the slander recently going around related to WYB and that they have reported it to the police. This went really high on HS and was widely talked about, even Du Hua reposted and reacted to it. Hours later, XZS has posted their own reminder to fans in relation to people disturbing his drama filming. What made it more important is that XZ reposted it too and put in a very firm reminder to everyone.

to give some context, the horrible rumor regarding WYB was spread around by mostly XZ fans. There was a melon that said “X” has STD and then toxic people started saying it’s WYB ( cause toxic xz fans doesn’t want it linked to XZ because of the clue given so they throw it to WYB. i know it sounds stupid, but it’s actually a common tactic done by both sides ) and even fabricated some photos. another actor, xukai was also implicated and he also reported to the police.

so this can be read by so/os as XZ&XZS trying to cover up for the toxic solos and what they did. i get why other people will think that and i personally wanted them to address the bad things his solos do. however i also understand why xz and his team can’t “betray” the solo fans. that’s just how it goes. however, in cpf interpretation, this is XZ’s way of taking away the heat from wyb and a way of putting a stop to the conversations about that horrible lie. it worked in a way that it went on HS, but not as high as WYB’s. I was also surprised that XZ reposted it himself. i am aware that the leaks and everything else is a serious issue and XZ is someone who hates being a bother to the crew. but he usually doesn’t do this. he usually leaves it to XZS or the drama account. This tells me that he personally wants to lend his name and his weibo account, to get more of the heat. The last line he said can also be a message to his toxic so/os: respect others and respect yourself.

• On 2/20, there were tarot readings some BXGs have enjoyed. One is this that is a new year CP reading done on 2/4. What made fans 👀 are:

1. this card, where OP said it’s them being hand in hand and don’t get tired of each other. and in the background is a sacred building, which symbolizes them having a vow to each other.

more cpn was added into it when GG did MFW and people realized not to take this literally cause it could be representing the Duomo.

2. Here is the part that was v interesting to cpfs cause this person gave a prediction that followed what we cpn and happened in the next couple of days.

The two of them haven’t had many official activities recently. So from February 4th, there is a chance for the two of them to meet each other in the past few days. And as soon as the two of them meet, they won’t be going out. Yibo knows he is active but he will close up and be willing to hide at home for XZ.

this is so close to what we speculated! that they spent a quiet cny break together. 🥹🥹🥹

3. Next one is so on point it’s scary cause i have already discussed the bad rumor going around and was directed at WYB before this entry. OP was sort of right. tho i don’t know it this will be another hateful rumor, i hope not.

My prediction is that it will be in March 2024, around this time, I feel that WYB will have a a force of public opinion surrounding him. It's unfriendly to him. This power of public opinion including but not limited to WYB. If we use the 8 of Swords to understand the external environment, it is a relatively sharp. There is some public opinion about the two of them that may cause some trouble

If something happens to WYB, XZ will immediately rise up and have to rush out to protect him. XZ will work hard behind the scenes silently in his own way and are some practical actions.

I don’t think i need to further explain. It fits what happened in 2/20. 👁️👄👁️

4. WYB’s resources for 2024 will be very good. In the first quarter, the number of resources was not very large but the quality of the resources is very good. Then the Queen of Pentacles in the third quarter. In the fourth quarter, the Queen of Cups.

For context: The Queen of Pentacles, therefore, depicts a certain level of success and prosperity. But the rabbit at the bottom cautions us that we should be careful of where we leap when we are chasing that success. Queen of Cups - Generally speaking, this is a positive card for both career and finances, suggesting you're "in tune with yourself, have a good work-life balance going on, and overall a positive job experience.

The reading is close to 1 hour long and I just can’t translate it all so i’m going off what CPFs are highlighting.

• XZ’s pre Milan flight Gucci & camcorder cpn

• Fake Rumors : getting caught kissing / spending time during CNY

• XZS first post in Milan is the invitation given to XZ by Tod’s for the show. Those who had the same time as Milan saw the actual time stamp which is 1823. A beloved kadian number!!!!!

• xz’s collar and whole look for GUCCI MFW gave us so many thoughts. lol. i know sexualization of the boys is a complicated issue in the fandom but when things like this happen — how can we stop? lol. no. but seriously. it is what it is.

• checking their fingernails + similar pose to HB

• a comment that implies xz went to zhuhai with wyb to ride a motorcycle

• their photos match so well. 🌅

from zz’s post in milan. it’s filled with the elements they love like the moon and a beautiful sunset background. gg was also showing off his re web shoes which is of course, because he is a gucci ambassador and all that but the “web” cpn is getting stronger. however, i am personally losing my mind over the implications in the caption he used.

• clues in zz’s mfw interviews, matching talismans on their phone cases and similar ads for shu uemura & loreal

• 8 fake rumors from CQL shoot/era that i posted about 📝

• A place CPFs landmark lol

• spotted same mannerism! twins ☺️☺️☺️☺️

see you all next month for another round up of sweetness! just continue to support the boys and ignore the toxic moves of irrelevant people. fandom is supposed to be fun and a safe space so i hope we all fight to keep that love & peace here 🫶🏼

#bjyx #yizhan #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do

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rainbowsky · 7 months

Note

Hi! What do you think of the new camera cpn? I don't think I saw you talk about it. I love reading long cpn analyses but I haven't seen many people analyze the camera thing so I'm very eager to know people's thoughts about it

Hi Anon!

I've been ill for the past few weeks (recovering, I'll be fine), so haven't been online much, which is why you haven't seen me talking about much or responding to asks. I don't really have the spoons right now to dig too deeply into this (you're not likely to see any long analysis from me for a bit) but I can give a few thoughts on it.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

GG has been seen using Leica cameras and other sophisticated camera equipment for years. He is, after all, a professional graphic designer and photographer who used to be the primary photographer for a photography studio he ran with friends.

He has been spotted using this specialized Leica that is optimized for black and white photography, and has shared black and white photos in the past.

Now suddenly we see DD - someone who, while he's had a lot of hobbies, has never shown any special interest in photography - wandering the streets of Paris with a new Leica that's an updated model of the same one GG's been using, that's optimized for black and white photography...

Not only does he appear to be taking up photography (or at least being public about his interest in photography, if it's something he's developed over time), but it's black and white photography, and he's using a Leica - a fairly niche, very expensive brand - of the same type and similar model as GG has been using.

Sometimes I feel like I have to remind everyone to have a sense of perspective on things like this, because it's easy to forget or overlook relevant context. And by that I mean, let's consider how something like this would be received if it was a man and a woman who had been rumored to be in a relationship and who suddenly appeared to be using the same camera brand of similar models in this narrow 'black and white' space. MF relationships have been completely 'outed' by less.

This is pretty damn unwashable in my eyes. Just like the phone case, this is another situation of these guys 'coincidentally' having the exact same taste in something that's not popular or mainstream.

Both of them using a credit card iPhone case, in CHINA, where everyone pays for everything via phone apps, not via credit cards?

Now this camera... BJYXSZD.

So those are my thoughts on this very 💣 candy.

However, for deeper analysis and some of the details, photos, etc. you can check out @accio-victuuri's posts on the subject. You can find those posts here:

Post 1

Post 2

Post 3

Post 4

Post 5

#bjyx #yizhan #the mysteries of yizhan #ask

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alovesreading · 1 year

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Constant Repeat | Part 5

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 20.2k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: Currently not able to stay still because this is one of my favorite chapters and it's been one I have been excited to share ever since I finished writing it. So since imagine-that-100 and I are posting part 4 of Chicken Shop Date next week, I thought I would bring this chapter forward a week hehe, though this means you'll have to wait a week longer for the next one since I'll stick to posting it on the original date it was supposed to which is April 7th. But right now, I truly cannot wait to see your reactions to this one. I have a feeling you might yell at me lolll. Enjoy!!! xx

Masterlist

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(17/09/11 10:28) Congrats on the suck it and see video, compliments the song brilliantly.

(17/09/11 10:31) Thank you for that and for helping us with it x

(17/09/11 10:39) Nothing to thank, that's my literal job Al hahaha

(17/09/11 10:40) Hahaha that's true. Well then thanks for making it such a great time for us.

(17/09/11 10:44) My pleasure :) Send my love to everyone over there, I hope tour is going smoothly x

(17/09/11 10:44) Will do x And it is! Kinda wish you were here to see the madness x

(17/09/11 10:45) We better hope America treats you just as well next time you come, I'll definitely be there :) x

•••

(27/10/11 13:16) I'm so glad Helders had the idea of going to Vegas and filming it.

(27/10/11 13:18) It was quite a lovely time, congrats on the music video Al!

(27/10/11 13:18) Even though most of it is just Bre and Matt, I'm happy to see that day after all this time x

(27/10/11 13:20) C'mon Turner, it's only been a couple months x

(27/10/11 13:21) Fair enough but, don't tell this to anyone, I miss America quite a bit.

(27/10/11 13:27) Any particular reasons?

(27/10/11 13:29) A couple come to mind...

(27/10/11 13:33) Any with first and last names?

(27/10/11 13:33) Are you trying to trick me into saying something?

(27/10/11 13:34) Maybe...

(27/10/11 13:48) I do miss you Ellie xx

(27/10/11 13:49) Well, that's good to hear xx

(27/10/11 13:49) I miss you following me around with your camera on my face x

(27/10/11 13:50) Anyone would think I'm a crazy pap from that sentence alone.

(27/10/11 13:50) Aren't you? x

(27/10/11 13:52) Alright Turner, I'm not saying i miss you too then.

(27/10/11 13:56) I joke, I joke x

(27/10/11 13:57) Hahaha I know, I do miss you xx

(27/10/11 14:02) Well, that's good to hear xx

•••

(05/11/11 02:22) Helders got a new film camera!

(05/11/11 02:22) No way?! Show me!!!

(05/11/11 02:24) *picture of Matt holding a Leica M6 to his face squinting his left eye*

(05/11/11 02:25) I'm so jealous! A Leica M6?! She's stunning!!!

(05/11/11 02:26) He's also been pestering me for your phone number, he might've stolen it from my contact book already.

(05/11/11 02:28) He did and texted me last night. Remind me again why you don't have a password? He's going to be the death of me.

(05/11/11 02:29) You said you missed the lads the other day, and I delivered the message. You didn't expect it to be that easy to escape him, did you?

(05/11/11 02:30) This is what I get for being a caring friend.

(05/11/11 02:31) It has its cons x

(05/11/11 02:46) It wasn't only Helders breaking into your phone, by the way.

(05/11/11 02:49) What do you mean?

(05/11/11 02:49) Nick and Jamie texted me earlier too hahaha

(05/11/11 02:49) Sorry? x

(05/11/11 02:50) Don't! I suppose you're gonna have a little rest from me now that I have more people to annoy x

(05/11/11 02:51) You're never annoying Ellie x

(05/11/11 02:51) I find that hard to believe x

(05/11/11 02:53) You really aren't x I actually think if you stop sending me your weekly film reviews and song recommendations I might go in a weird type of withdrawal xx

(05/11/11 02:53) I'll keep them coming for you then ;)

(05/11/11 02:54) I really hope you do xx

•••

(24/12/11 16:12) Just double checked and since it's already the 25th where you are, Merry Christmas Alex!!!

(24/12/11 16:17) Thank you Ellie, merry christmas to you too xx

(24/12/11 16:18) I hope Sinatra is playing on repeat all day today x

(24/12/11 16:21) You know he is. It's snowing later today as well, will send you pictures xx

(24/12/11 16:23) You're gonna make me miss home, I haven't had a white christmas in a while now :((

(24/12/11 16:24) We should do a video call then, make some hot chocolate and pretend you're here x

(24/12/11 16:25) Sounds lovely to me x See you later then, Al :)

(24/12/11 16:26) See ya Ellie xx

•••

(31/12/11 15:09) It feels weird having Bre here but not you, the group feels incomplete xx

(31/12/11 15:09) So sorry I said no, I had already planned on spending this one in Tennessee. And I would rather eat a cup of dirt than have you pay for my whole holiday in the uk!

(31/12/11 15:10) You don't have to be sorry, I know you missed your family x And you stubborn woman! Will you ever let me pay for anything for you without having to physically distract you when it comes to it?

(31/12/11 15:12) Never ;))) But you'll be pleased to know I have started saving up for my own trip, just give me some months and I'll be on your side of the pond x

(31/12/11 15:13) Can't wait to see how poorly you do in the cold once again, I'll have my coats ready for you to steal xx

(31/12/11 15:15) You're mean!

(31/12/11 15:16) I'm actually very kind, i'll be letting you take them all xx

(31/12/11 15:17) I think whatever you're having is getting to you already, go enjoy the party for me Turner! (I'm there in spirit x).

(31/12/11 15:17) I'm the most sober in here right now. Nick's pissed already and Matt is following very closely behind. (I can weirdly feel your presence in the room xx).

(31/12/11 15:18) Oh I would pay to see that!!

(31/12/11 15:18) Well lucky for you I won't charge you for the following videos x *video of Nick and Matt messily racing to chug down a pint of beer, video of Nick and Matt singing karaoke*

(31/12/11 15:19) You've just made my entire year with that HAHAHA

(31/12/11 15:22) Glad to hear it x

(31/12/11 16:00) Happy New Year from my side of the pond, Ellie xxxx

(31/12/11 16:03) Happy New Year Al xxxx Feels weird saying that at four in the afternoon haha

(31/12/11 16:04) Haha, time zones are mental, aren't they? Let me know when it's 2012 for you too xx

(01/01/2012 00:00) Happy New Year!!!! We just caught up to you hahah xx

(01/01/2012 00:00) Thank you, darling x How's it going with your family? xx

(01/01/2012 00:01) Absolutely insane but I had missed the madness that it was to spend the holidays with them :') Thinking about how crazy it would be if y'all were here to celebrate with us xx

(01/01/2012 00:04) Let's hope for 2013 xx

(01/01/2012 00:05) Yeah let's hope for that xx What about you? Starting the year with a hangover?

(01/01/2012 00:09) Thankfully no, but with a headache from inspiration and too much to write x

(01/01/2012 00:10) Don't stress yourself too much, it's always a perfect record x

(01/01/2012 00:11) Now you're just being nice x

(01/01/2012 00:12) Stop it, you know how good you are! I also have a feeling this one is gonna make history all around the world xx

(01/01/2012 00:15) We shall see about that xx

•••

(05/01/2012 12:21) I love how you regretted flipping the camera off and tried to cover it up with a peace sign.

(05/01/2012 12:34) I'm confused...

(05/01/2012 12:35) Black treacle just came out! Fill me in on Bre and Matt's fight after it.

(05/01/2012 12:36) You're still after Bre, I see x

(05/01/2012 12:38) Well if Matt fucks up then I need to be a good friend, don't I? x

(05/01/2012 12:39) Oh you think you're slick x

(05/01/2012 12:39) I'm smoother than you, that's for sure x

(05/01/2012 12:39) Hey what's that meant to mean?!

(05/01/2012 12:40) Hahaha nothing Turner, it means nothing.

(05/01/2012 12:41) How about I give you something? xx

(05/01/2012 12:41) And what would that be? xx

(05/01/2012 12:42) Remember how I promised you another music video? xx

Her jaw dropped at the same time her phone hit the kitchen counter, and in a delayed reaction she went to check if she'd cracked it but was relieved to see it intact. What the fuck?! was all that she could hear inside her brain, chanting to herself as she frantically opened her contact book to call Alex but, of course, the singer beat her to it. The room echoed with the ringing of his incoming call and she was quick to answer.

A loud "Are you serious?!" came out of her mouth like an instinct, not even giving him time to say hello.

His breathy laugh came through the speaker, "Do you think I'd be joking about that?"

She was screaming on the inside, her tummy fluttering as she thought about how the countdown to see him again would start right at that moment. "I don't– I just– When? Do Aaron and Ben know?"

He was lying on his settee, with his phone pressed to his ear and his ceiling was witnessing one of the brightest smiles he'd ever wore in his life. "I reckon our manager is getting in contact with them next monday, and possibly for the beginning of February. You know, we're doing a brief US west coast tour before we go back into the shadows to record the next one."

"Oh my god, really?! That's so soon!" Ella hadn't felt this much excitement since she got accepted in her first job in LA, everything felt light suddenly and she just couldn't wipe the smile off her face.

She's adorable, he thought with his cheeks aching. He could feel her happiness through the phone and she had this way of calming him down by just talking to him, that's why they had called each other so many times throughout the past months they hadn't seen each other.

"It is! And you're coming with..." Alex bit his lip trying especially hard to catch her reaction and when he got a tiny gasp, he freed his lip from his teeth and smirked, "Well, at least I was hoping you will– We, we were hoping you will." He cleared his throat, hoping the correction wasn't too noticeable.

Of course she noticed, her heart skipped a beat at that and her cheeks had warmed. Keep it cool, keep it cool, she reminded herself. "I would need to ask Ben and Aaron but I'd love to." She was giddy but then she realized what touring meant and her questions just came out in full force, "Wait... How many days would it be? Are we staying in hotels or just on the bus? We're not flying anywhere, are we? Who can I speak with from your team to pay for it?"

His chuckle was out before he could think of containing it, "It would just be a week of tour. No flying anywhere, no—we're moving on the tour bus like we did for Vegas. And as for the expenses you really don't have to worry, everything is paid for."

"But–"

He tutted, "No, Ella. I'll just let you pay for whatever you want to buy wherever we go but you're not paying for anything else if it's already covered."

She sighed feeling defeated but her excitement bubbled up again when she remembered what she had just accepted, "Oh I'm so excited!"

Alex decided to tease her and test the waters, "That eager to see me?"

She laughed at his advances, "Nope, just excited for the gigs and the free alcohol."

He laughed with her, "Glad to see where your loyalty lies."

Ella hummed and nodded, instantly feeling dumb when she saw her reaction reflected on the microwave realizing Alex was not seeing it. "And I'm glad you're understanding of my priorities."

"Talking about priorities, how come you're not at work? What have you been up to?" The thought of her casually picking up the phone at this time, when she'd normally pick up to whisper that she was at the office and that she'd have to keep whispering throughout the call, had been swirling around the back of his head and he was curious to know what had happened to change the situation.

She sighed, turning to rest her hips on the side of her kitchen counter and watching her guest bedroom door behind which her sister had been getting ready for almost twenty minutes. "Not much, just took the day off to pick my sister up from the airport."

He smiled at the news, thinking back to the many times Ella had mentioned her sister, the memories she shared with her and how many 'i miss her's he had heard after each anecdote. "Is she visiting?"

Her smile could be felt through the phone from the tone of her voice, and Alex couldn't help but count how many days it had been since he had witnessed that sight. "Yeah, she's staying for the week so I'm gonna show her every corner I love in LA."

A deep hum came from his side, "So she's getting a VIP Ella – Los Angeles tour..."

She let out a little chuckle, "Exactly that."

"Sort of jealous she gets one and I haven't gotten one yet."

With a smirk on her face Ella was quick to reply, "Well Mr. Rockstar, you haven't been here in a while and every time we've seen each other has been for filming."

He let out a breathy laugh that made her insides coat with warmth, "Fair enough. I'll be sure to get enough time in February to get a tour."

Her stomach flipped hearing him say he'd make time for her, even if it was just a joke she couldn't help the way it made her giddy and her cheeks light up. "Alright then...I'll give you a good discount, don't worry."

"You'll probably get a date before we even know of one, so I hope you have flexibility when it comes to changing reservation dates for those tours of yours." Alex kept the banter going, loving how most of the time her replies would surprise him and keep him thinking if she had really just said that.

"Of course I do! Mates rates, didn't you say it was?" She was about to continue when her guest bedroom door opened to reveal her sister all ready and putting her earrings on. "Speak of the devil... my lovely sister just finished getting ready so I'm gonna have to leave you Al, sorry." She sighed, sad that she had to cut the conversation short once again despite not being at work.

"Don't apologize Ellie, s'alright." His voice was soft and she hoped she could continue to listen to it for as long as life would allow her. "Hope you enjoy yourselves, send my regards to your sister."

She melted inside, her rational side yelling at her emotional counterpart that it was a simple thing to say and not something to swoon over but she was blind. Maybe that was his effect, pure blindness to everything else and only being able to see him. "Thanks Al, will tell her you said hi. Hope to hear from you soon."

"You definitely will," he promised, "Goodnight Ella."

Ella's eyes were on the ten in the morning sun coming through her windows and smiled to herself, "Goodnight Alex."

The room was filled with silence as she pressed the red button to end the call. A bright grin was set on her face with no intention to disappear, her cheeks were slightly pink but it was the tiny squeal that she accidentally let out that caused her older sister, Lily, to speak up.

"So you do have a crush!" Lily's index finger was pointing accusingly at Ella.

She turned her head so fast she was surprised she didn't get whiplash, "What?" She asked too defensive to make the situation seem casual.

Lily smirked at her, reading her face easily, "I was right, you do like him."

"Oh shut up, I do not." Ella's voice sounded annoyed but her sister knew that tone of hers, it was pure denial.

The older sister just sighed and rolled her eyes, "When are you ever gonna stop being so stubborn?"

"The day I die." Ella replied quickly and proceeded to grab her car keys from the counter and put her phone in the pocket of her jeans. "Let's go."

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Wednesday, the 8th of February had been the day Ben and Aaron had been informed the lads would touch down on American soil again and the day had rolled around fairly quickly.

It felt as if the countdown to the day of the band's arrival had been fast forwarded and for that she was grateful. She wasn't a fan of having to wake up early but she had woken up to a picture of the lads at the airport and several texts from all of them, and it made her grin like a mad woman as she got ready.

(08/02/2012 06:12) *picture of Matt flipping the camera off at the baggage claim area* Fair to say he's excited to see you.

(08/02/2012 06:26) Tell him I'm just as enthusiastic to see him, Cookie.

•••

(08/02/2012 06:20) My darling Ella, hope you're up and ready to see us. Alex said something about getting a tour from you...

(08/02/2012 06:27) Definitely up, and slowly getting ready. If there's one thing you should know, is that I need a good cup of coffee to properly function this early in the morning. And yes, I'm driving y'all and giving you a tour around LA.

(08/02/2012 06:28) Noted, gonna get you loads of coffee for the tour. Can't wait to see how poorly you drive xx

(08/02/2012 06:28) Alright O'Malley, rude.

•••

(08/02/2012 06:34) I bet you're celebrating I'm back in your land already.

(08/02/2012 06:35) You have the biggest head, has anyone told you that?

(08/02/2012 06:35) Been told something similar, if you know what I mean ;)

(08/02/2012 06:35) You're actually disgusting, Helders.

(08/02/2012 06:36) Yeah, yeah, you love me.

(08/02/2012 06:36) You certainly wish.

(08/02/2012 06:37) You're just in denial. We're about an hour away from the hotel by the way, you better be on your way missy x

(08/02/2012 06:38) I'm about to leave. Dreading seeing you though x

(08/02/2012 06:39) You keep telling yourself that x

•••

(08/02/2012 06:40) Can't wait to see you! We're an hour away xx

(08/02/2012 06:41) Give your friends a smack in the back of their heads for me please, haven't even seen you yet and I'm getting bullied already x

(08/02/2012 06:42) Will do. I'm guessing Helders gets double? x

(08/02/2012 06:43) Atta boy, you're so smart x I'm on my way, see you soon Al! x

To say she was giddy on the drive to their hotel was an understatement. Ella had been bouncing on her seat, not even minding having to sit in the traffic for longer than she would've liked to, singing her favorite songs a little bit louder than usual, with a bright grin permanently on her face throughout the whole drive.

She found a spot in the parking lot of the hotel quite easily and with a skip in her step, she made her way through the big window doors and into the lobby. The guys were all distracted on their phones, so many people were walking around the hotel lobby that the echo of her steps was lost in between the pattern.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Arctic Monkeys." Ella's voice was playful, a smirk on her face as she saw them turn their heads in her direction.

The four of them pocketed their phones and yelled her name, a little bit too loud for the hotel staff's liking. Ella was enveloped in a group hug and she swore she could cry when it hit her then just how much she'd missed them the past six months.

"Missed you guys." She said once the group hug was done and she went around giving them all hugs.

Alex was the last one, kissing the top of her head before he let go, "Missed you too."

She was melting, having missed the singer more than she would ever admit but the moment was cut short when Matt said, "Couldn't live without us huh?" A big smirk on his face, his eyes as playful as ever.

"Matthew, I will leave you here." She looked at the drummer with a serious expression, that was broken when she saw his film camera hanging from his neck.

Matt threw his arms up in defeat, "Alright, alright. But you couldn't though." He added the last bit quickly and quietly.

She chuckled and rolled her eyes, "If that helps you sleep at night."

After asking them if they were ready to go, and all of them nodding, she guided them to her car. It was big enough for all of them to fit comfortably so it didn't take them much time to get inside the vehicle and start driving. Alex was sitting on the passenger seat, while the rest took the backseats.

The little mirrorball was hanging from her rearview mirror with a tiny cowboy hat on top and it caught their attention. They all pointed at it with giggles whilst Alex could only think about how long it had been since the first time he saw it and how that day had been. Soon enough she turned on the car and started driving out of the parking lot.

Nick, who was in the middle, rested his arms on the front seats and looked around them all before saying, "Anyone want to share their last words before we get on the motorway?"

They all laughed hard, Ella looked through the rearview mirror at them and shook her head. She took her right hand and swatted at Nick's leg, leaving the steering wheel alone for a second which made Matt dramatically yell.

"Jesus Christ, I hate y'all." She sighed, placing her hand back where it was and focusing back on the road.

Jamie, who was sitting behind her, patted her arm. "Except you don't."

She opted to put her music on, letting the speakers drown the car with Ozzy Osbourne's voice. No one complained, which she was thankful for, they were just chatting over the music from time to time until they made it to Venice beach.

She took them walking through the Venice canals, the little suburb which was an American version of the Italian city. She had found it once while looking for a parking place when she was going to the beach with her friends, loving how quiet the place was and how pretty the scenery was. She had gone back multiple times to take pictures there, some of her favorite pictures were from the canals under the colors casted by the rising sun.

They had used the neighborhood as a backdrop to them walking around and catching up, them telling her tour anecdotes and how Nick's wedding plans were going, her telling them about the things they had been filming at Focus Creeps—which were now steering away from adverts and onto short films and artists trying to work with them after the Arctic Monkeys videos had been posted—and the shoots she'd been doing with Breana, which she promised Matt to show.

It was early, so the streets were rather empty, and it was February so it wasn't unbearably hot either.

Ella had her camera with her, constantly stopping to take pictures and it sent Alex back to Vegas. The way she would shiver despite having her jean jacket on sent him back to the day they had met. This time though, she would share her frames and exchange tips with Matt—he had her take pictures of certain places, she was helping him get the perfect shot—and Alex was melting inside. She was beyond adorable when her face lit up while sharing her passions.

After they gave the neighborhood a full walk-around, they went back to the car and she drove them over to the Old Los Angeles Zoo. The drive was long, over an hour, which was filled with her music and lots of chatter. She turned the volume down, the Talking Heads song fading to the background, so that she could give them a small preface of where it was that they were going.

"Okay so before you say anything about the LA Zoo signs, I'm actually taking you to the old abandoned one. It's very apocalyptic looking, but it has character."

Soon enough they were parking on the side of the road, and they could see an old rusty sign that read 'Picnic Area'. She guided them into the place, agile while scurrying and crouching down and through the stone ruins.

They were walking around and seeing every one of the forgotten cages, the lads getting inside of them and getting their pictures taken by Ella while they made weird faces or they tried to act like the animals they'd guess had lived in those cages.

Matt had trapped Ella into one of the cages, making her curse him through the metal bars as the band waved at her and faked leaving her behind. Alex taking a quick picture of her with his phone, she flipped him off and he smiled even harder.

Ella had gotten her payback when they were in a particularly claustrophobic cage that had a very steep staircase. Matt had been resting his palms against the graffitied walls at the top, as he slowly leaned his body forward to look down but he screeched when Ella had purposely nudged his hip and made his balance waver.

"You little–" The drummer had mumbled sternly before setting off to chase behind her, not hard to know where she went since she had run away giggling and they could still hear her.

Another thirty minutes of them messing about went by, before they were back in her car. She sighed as she settled in the driver's seat. Everyone shuffled into their seats but before she could start the engine, she had to make her mind up about where to take them next.

Her fingers drummed on the steering wheel as she looked through the rearview mirror at them. "Alright, so do you wanna go to the Hollywood sign or am I good to take you to the next place?"

They had already gone to the iconic landmark multiple times before so it wasn't hard for them to shrug and agree on moving onto the next place, which ended up being Los Feliz and they drove through the Shakespeare bridge on their way there, which she had pointed out enthusiastically.

Ella loved this part of the city of Los Angeles, she would visit it at least once a week to have some food at La Pergoletta and then go to the Los Feliz Theater which was just a couple blocks away. And that's exactly what they did. They sat at the Italian restaurant to have some early lunch—Ella giving them all recommendations of what they should get and fighting them to pay for the meal when the check arrived—, and then they went over to walk by the theater and the rest of Los Feliz Boulevard.

With their stomachs full and yet another roll of film gone, they went back to the car. Jamie walked ahead of the group as he claimed to remember exactly where they had parked, Nick and Matt talking as they followed closely behind, Alex and Ella on the very back of the group smoking.

"Are you excited to go on tour with us?" Alex inquired after he took a drag of his cigarette.

A puff of smoke left her lips, "I certainly am, though I can feel my back hurting already."

"Bunk beds are lovely, aren't they?" He looked at her with a playful smirk that made her chuckle.

"I bet you love going to the chiropractor." She sighed, exhaling the smoke and flicking some of the ashes to the floor.

"I've never been to one actually." the singer admitted after thinking for a second, trying to recount any visit to a chiropractor.

"Are you serious?" Ella asked with a gasp, and when he shook his head, she shrugged. "Well you should, it's the weirdest relief."

Alex thought about it but then frowned, "Doesn't the cracking noise freak you out?"

"Kind of? The first time he cracked my neck I fully thought I had died and was seeing the other side." She recalled, shuddering at the memory and the wind that had hit her.

He snorted, "That's exactly why I'll stick to massages, thanks very much."

"Are you gonna share your masseuse's number then?" She jokingly replied, but actually thinking of ways to alleviate her upcoming backache during the tour in the back of her mind.

Alex looked straight ahead towards his friends and pointed to the one in the front. "That would be Jamie actually, he knows his shit when it comes to a good back massage."

She hummed, looking at the man walking confidently ahead of the group. "Good to know." A few seconds of silence passed as they kept smoking and she thought of taking a picture of them, like that, in a mundane LA setting so she turned to the singer. "Alright Alex, c'mon go walk with them I wanna take a picture of y'all."

He nodded, smoking the last of his cigarette before tossing it to the pavement and stepping on it. "Tired of me, are you? The tour hasn't even started yet." He teased with a raised eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes, smiling at his behavior. "Shut up, idiot."

He smirked back, before starting to walk faster ahead of her. "How do you want me then?"

"Just keep walking and turn around when I call you." Ella instructed with a point of her finger.

Alex nodded and complied, walking right behind Nick and Matt who nodded at him in acknowledgement but kept talking between themselves. He was waiting for her voice to call out to him, watching his feet move, the sound of every step he took hitting his ears as the city noise became more background noise than anything.

When he heard a soft "Al" being called, he turned around with a soft smile—a smile that she captured, with the perfect focus and he looked stunning so the thought just escaped her.

"Stunning." Her voice was soft as she rolled the film with the lever, sticking it back into its place right after. Turning the device off since she wasn't taking any more pictures, she let it hit her upper stomach and when she looked up, she was met with his gaze.

"Is that so?" Alex nudged her hip with his and Ella blushed.

"Yes but don't let it get to your head," her cheeks stayed warm as she tried to play it cool, "Or else I'll have to take it upon myself to keep you humble."

He hummed as he pursed his lips trying not to grin, "I'm sure you'd enjoy that."

"You're right, I truly would." She nudged him this time and he tripped on his feet making her laugh out loud, the lads turned around to see him stumble and joined in her laughter. "Told you I would." She added smugly.

Alex looked at her mesmerized, Ella was just so hypnotizing to him. With everything she did, what she said and how she looked, he couldn't help but stare. She flushed under his gaze and was saved by the bell when Jamie indeed found her car and she had to speed her walk to unlock it for them.

Once inside, she ignited the engine and clapped her hands, "The next place I'm taking you is probably one of my favorite places in the whole world, I spend hours here every time I go and it's beautiful so..." she ranted before turning her music on, Stevie Nicks' voice now drowning the vehicle as they moved through the streets and back onto the highway.

It took them less than thirty minutes to get to the place, which had felt way faster after Matt decided to tease her about being born in the wrong generation as her playlist was filled with 70s and early 80s songs rather than more modern music; she hadn't gotten a chance to even fight their argument because when Alex started skipping through the songs, their point was backed. Black Sabbath, Thin Lizzy, Talking Heads, The Cure, Pink Floyd, Bowie, Dolly Parton, Fleetwood Mac. Ella blushed as she slapped Alex's hand away from her phone, Bowie's voice lost in the background as everyone laughed.

When they stepped through the threshold of the bookstore, Ella's breath was taken from her by the views, as if she didn't frequent the place and she wasn't acquainted with the people who worked there.

Even Matt, who couldn't be arsed to be in a bookstore, was taken aback by the way the place looked. The way the books were arranged and the eccentric decor of each room was like nothing he'd ever seen before. It was like a Disneyland themed room, but it was just a bookstore.

"Just wait until you see the book tunnel." Ella's voice was giddy, her smile growing as she stepped further inside, with them following closely behind.

And soon enough, while she gave them a tour of the place—saying "Hi!" to people working there who greeted her back and knew her name—, they were met with a room which had a tunnel against a wall, entirely made with books. Further ahead a wall with what had been arranged to look like flying books, that reminded them of Harry Potter.

After agreeing to spend half an hour there, since they had to be at the hotel in about two hours and she had to pick her stuff up and Breana to meet them back again, they separated to look through the endless selection of books the store offered.

Of course they had left Alex and Ella by themselves, but she was too entranced by the worn out spines on the shelves to see Matt winking at his best mate before leaving with Jamie and Nick.

"You know, I found an annotated original copy of Pride and Prejudice here the first time I came. It was titled 'Elizabeth Bennet' rather than Pride and Prejudice and I found out that that was the title of some copies when they first got here in 1832. Have been coming here since then." Her smile was soft at the memory, her eyes glimmering under the dull yellow lights.

He hummed, mirroring her gentle grin, "That must be worth a fortune."

"Oh definitely, but that book is not leaving me ever. If I don't get buried with it, then I will pass it down to my kids." She laughed at herself by the end, shaking her head at her thoughts and started walking to turn into another aisle.

He giggled with her, eyes wondering from her figure to the books. Some old, some new but all equally hypnotizing to her as she picked them out and inspected them.

"I'm sure they'll appreciate it."

"They better," Ella said absentmindedly as she put the book back in its place, "Or else I will haunt them."

Alex let out a breathy laugh as he reached for a book on the top shelf that had caught his eye. "You'd be the worst ghost, if they even exist."

She clicked her tongue, turning to look at him, book left forgotten in his hands as he met her gaze. "C'mon Turner, you need to have some faith or else I won't be able to haunt Helders for the rest of his life."

His smirk grew playful, "You'll make him miserable?"

She winked, "You know it."

Time flew by like it always did, purposely forcing the needles on the clock to spin faster when it knew Alex was with her, wind blowing the sand from the hourglass so they ran out of minutes when they were together. And as if they had been the embodiment of an alarm clock, the other three members of the group appeared, precisely on the dot of the time they had agreed on.

Back in the car, she sighed as she saw them all take in their assigned seats. "So how was it class? Did you like your road trip?"

Nick shrugged in the middle, his lips pressed to avoid smiling. "Eh. Could've been better."

And before Ella could retaliate, Matt added, "I'm pretty sure the driver tried to kill us a fair few times." to which Alex and Jamie agreed with "'Yeah, yeah."

She just rolled her eyes through the rear view mirror, and took advantage of having the singer next to her so she could smack the back of his head. "I can't stand any of you." She muttered as the engine hummed alive, making them all erupt in laughter at the way Alex had jumped in his seat.

The drive back to their hotel had grown amusing when 'Still Take You Home' came on, and she turned the volume up after saying with a massive smirk "See? How's that for modern music boys?"

She started singing along, copying Alex's accent and exaggerating it to an obnoxious extent but they were loving it. She made a full show, playing an imaginary guitar, getting cheered on by the lads and when the song was over she did a little curtsy with her eyes on the road.

Jamie patted Alex's shoulder, making him turn around and see a smirk on his friend's face. "Sorry Al, you're being replaced."

The singer only sighed, keeping up with the charade, "Just like that, huh?"

"Sorry mate." added Matt, a faux-comforting grasp of his shoulder as he apologized.

Ella grabbed his hand and squeezed it, "Sorry Al, but it's clear who's better if the decision was that easy." A frown on her face as she acted on putting a face that exuded fake pity.

He only shook his head, grabbing the phone. Unlocking it easily with a swipe on the screen and he searched through her music. "But do you know..." He trailed off as he pressed on the track. The quick drum pattern of 'Pretty Visitors' coming through the speakers and her pout faltered.

"Won't even try because I can barely understand what you say in it." Her cheeks tinted pink as the other three hollered in the back of the car.

"Looks like you're back mate." said Nick, backtracking their previous statement.

Alex smirked at Ella, who caught the sight of him for a quick second before turning back around to look at the road. "That's what I thought."

In an hour, she had dropped them off at the hotel so they could get ready before the tour bus got there later and picked them all up. She rushed home to pick up her suitcase—which she had forced herself to keep light and small—and then went over Breana's to get her.

The sun was setting as they talked, laughed and sang, driving down the highway and on their way back to the hotel. The closer the hotel's exit got, the more nervous she felt. Bre noticed, but she kept making jokes that made her loosen up. After all, nothing bad would happen; the worst could be that however she felt about Alex got nowhere and she'd stay silently crushing over a man out of her reach. And she somehow was okay with that, as long as she still could have him as a friend.

It was muscle memory that made her find a parking spot and turn off the engine of her car at the hotel. With a blink, she realized just how dangerous that had been, because she couldn't recall those last five minutes of the drive. The thought of him was dangerous.

The tiny wheels on their suitcases scratched down the pavement as they met the band at the hotel's main entrance. She had to quickly reach for Bre's suitcase when she let go of it to run into Matt's arms, catching it right before it hit the ground.

Jamie sighed, "Thanks Bre, we missed you too." Sarcasm so clear in his words, Matt chuckled and only held his girlfriend tighter.

Eventually, the lovebirds let go of each other and Breana could properly greet everyone. They all lit cigarettes up as they waited for the bus, which according to the text Alex had gotten, would be there in about fifteen minutes.

It was all laughter and chatter, a taste of what the upcoming week was going to be like, and Ella found it refreshing. Yes she loved her job, but there was something about driving down the west coast along with her friends, who happened to be musicians, enjoying their art and whatever the cities had to offer.

She wished she could go on tour more often already but since she knew this was gonna be the first and last time she'd get to go on one, she'd make the best out of the experience and enjoy every second of it.

A few minutes earlier than anticipated, the bus arrived. Tall black coach with dark windows that made her wonder if you could even look through them at all. She found that she could, after they all left their luggage where they had been instructed to place it and they walked up the steps and into the vehicle.

"Holy shit," Ella could barely keep her jaw from falling at the size of it, "It's bigger than the last one."

Matt walked up to her, throwing an arm around her shoulder and his other arm hugged Breana tighter to his side. "Had to upgrade since we're taking on two very special guests."

"Awh, I knew I was special to you." Ella cooed playfully before jabbing the drummer in his ribs.

He flinched and tried to get her back but she moved faster, "Don't go pushing your luck now, Ellie."

She giggled before she was swept away by Breana, who grabbed her hand and took her to the next few steps that led into the rest of the bus. There were far too many bunks for just the six of them but they looked bigger and more comfortable than the ones in the tour bus they had taken to Las Vegas so she wouldn't go complaining about anything. She was sure she could go without a hotel throughout the week, seeing that they had a perfectly sized bathroom inside as well, with a small shower and all.

Nick walked into the hallway, standing by the door that separated the bunks from the rest of the bus. "Yous can choose your beds first."

Bre turned to her with a playful smirk, shrugging her shoulders mischievously. "Chivalry is not dead I see..." the model trailed off, getting a hold of Ella's hand again to bring her back down the hallway.

And after leaving their coats on top of the beds they had chosen, which were facing each other, they went back down to the lounge area. The driver was at the bottom of the stairs telling them they'd be setting off in five minutes and made sure there was nothing else they were missing.

Five minutes after the confirmation that they were good to go, the bus started moving. They felt the change of rhythm as they got off onto the highway whilst they chatted, scattered around the settees in the lounge area.

"So Ella, are you ready for the groupie lifestyle?" Matt's voice was teasing, a slight pitch higher as the anticipation of her reaction bubbled inside of him. Breana giggled against her boyfriend's side which she was pressed against.

As per usual, Ella was starting to blush. Her cheeks tinted a faint pink as her lips pursed, "Groupie? That's a big commitment."

"Well I know a few people that would love to come to an agreement with you." The drummer let his eyes wander to his best friend who was about to break his jaw with how hard he was clenching it.

Ella knew exactly who Matt was staring at so her cheeks turned a very obvious red now, even the tips of her ears matching the color on her face.

She sighed, letting her head drop just a little bit for a few seconds before looking to her left and staring at the other three musicians. "How long is this tour again?"

Matt snorted, Breana laughing just as hard as Nick was. "Eight days." Jamie ended up replying, holding back laughter.

Her eyes were still on the rest of the band and she gave them a pitiful shake of her head, "Can't believe you can stand months of this one on the road. I'd pull all of my hair out."

Alex agreed with her then, "I'm fairly close to that point every tour."

"Sure mate, I'd pay to see you bald." Dared the drummer to which he only received an eye roll and a lovely middle finger from the singer.

Ella could only think how unforgettable those eight days were going to be.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella had been right.

She had it all imprinted in her mind.

Every kiss to her cheek followed by a 'good morning', an arm snaking around her waist giving it a firm squeeze before letting go and leaving her breathless.

Every time an arm came around her shoulders and rubbed her arm up and down when she was shivering because of the strong winds outside the venues as the sky turned from lilac and orange to a velvety blue.

Every whiskey glass turned into a slurred 'you look stunning, darling', that somehow always led to shared cigarettes outside bars and his giggles in her ear as he leaned into her every time she'd make him laugh.

Every picture she had taken of their views and their surroundings, that turned into a plea to take a picture of her with whatever it was in her previous shot as a background.

Every late night chat they had as they were always the last ones to go to bed. It be on the tour bus' lounge or a hotel bar, the walls of these places being confidants to everything they'd shared: stories from their childhoods, a movie they never really got over, a hobby they always wanted to get into but never could, their already gone dreams that would forever stay as that, the intricacies of existence they'd come to terms with never really understanding.

She was sure she had never blushed more in her life compared to how she had been in the past five days. Her cheeks were sore from grinning after everything Alex did, whatever little things he'd say to her.

They had grown closer, always next to each other. Their behavior had earned them plenty of eye rolls from the rest of the band, but they didn't truly care anymore.

That Tuesday she had woken up with a groan. They had been in Vegas the day before and, whilst their stay had been shorter and tamer than the last time they had been in the city, they still had had plenty to drink. A headache was all she felt, softer than she would've expected and she found a bit of hope in the fact that she could nurse it with a couple of painkillers.

Her phone screen flashed in front of her, a notification from the weather app telling her it would be a sunny but windy day in San Diego. Eyes going up to the time, nine in the morning and she took a deep breath but it got stuck in her throat when she realized the date. Fucking Valentine's Day.

Ella had grown to have good memories of the holiday, but they had all been tarnished by people's decisions and time. She didn't care much for it anymore, or she forced herself not to. Now all she could think was how she would hate the decision of having Breana sleep just across from her, she'd have to sleep blasting music in order not to hear anything. It had already worked for her the days before, so she would hold on tight to her earphones and her playlists to drown out whatever the lovebirds would get up to that night.

She shivered just thinking about it.

Slowly pushing the curtain aside, Ella slid out of the bunk. Landing with a thud on the floor, before she walked out to the lounge to make herself a cup of coffee on the fancy Keurig the tour bus had.

Nick had kept his promise of asking for loads of it. It had been an exaggerated amount but it was of a really really nice kind so she wouldn't complain.

Surprisingly everyone rose up not long after her, she thought it was probably the coffee's smell that had guided them out of bed and into the lounge. First came Jamie, who stood beside her, leaning against the makeshift kitchen counter as they sipped on their coffees.

Nick and Breana followed, the girl claiming Matt was still asleep but they'd be going out when he woke up, which meant the other four of the group were gonna be left alone without the lovers.

She had been teasing Breana along with Nick and Jamie—laughing as they managed to make the model blush and hide behind her hands—when Alex came out looking freshly changed, wearing a plain white shirt with a leather jacket, dark jeans and his usual chelsea boots. Gold chain around his neck and she had to pinch herself to stop her mind going places.

He took her breath away and it was shown in the way her exhale pushed the steam of her second coffee cup forwards.

"Morning everyone." The singer greeted in a low voice, morning's effect still over it as it sounded husky and slightly raspy.

They all said morning back, Ella turning around to pour him a mug of coffee. A spoonful and a half of sugar, the way she now knew he liked his coffee.

When she held it up for him to take he got closer, pressing a kiss to her cheek and whispering "Thank you, Ellie."

He took a long sip of the beverage before he cleared his throat, "You should get ready, we're going out in a little bit."

She frowned, cup slowly leaving her lips. "But–" she turned to Jamie then, who was still standing beside her, "Didn't we not have plans?"

Jamie smirked, looking from Ella to Alex, "We didn't."

"Just us, you deserve a break from these two idiots." He tried to downplay it, not wanting to say he was taking her on a date but he was.

Her hand was still frozen, the cup of coffee midair as she slowly broke out of her shocked state. "Alright..." she trailed off, her voice barely a whisper.

Nick got up, taking the mug from her hand. "Go on, I'll wash this for you."

Breathlessly she replied, "Thank you," before she, in panic, looked at Breana who had the biggest grin on her face.

The model jumped up onto her feet and ran away into the bunk beds with Ella's hand tightly clutched. They moved onto the empty bunk area, and closed the door behind them to not wake Matt up.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" Breana whisper-yelled and it only made her more nervous.

Ella waved her hands to calm her down, "Stop! Stop!" She shouted back in a whisper.

Bre sighed, "He's totally asked you on a date."

"No he hasn't, it's just– We're just going out." Ella fought back, stuttering as she made her point.

"Going out. On a date." The model stated in a tone that said it was obvious.

"Fuck." She swore under her breath and Breana shrieked. "Shush! I don't want to get my hopes up."

The admission made Bre stop in her place, she grabbed Ella's arms and squeezed affectionately, "Everything will be okay, alright? Whatever happens, it will be a good day and you'll remember it as such."

She inhaled and exhaled, twice, long deep breaths to calm her down but they did nothing really. She needed a cigarette, desperately, but she needed to get ready first. "What do I even wear?! I have nothing date-appropriate to wear."

"Lucky you have me, babe." Breana wasted no time before she crouched down to pull her case towards herself, unzipping it and showing a mess of fabrics.

Ten minutes later, after she had been pushed into the bathroom to get ready and then change into the clothes Breana and her had chosen, she was putting some mascara on. Breana pushed one of her lip glosses into the pocket of the cheetah print coat she had lent Ella.

The coat had been decided into the outfit after Ella claimed she'd get too cold without one as she was just wearing a satin top, that looked like the top half of a slip-on dress, and her high waisted blue jeans. She fished her packet of Marlboro reds and her lighter after spraying some perfume on the way out, her camera already hanging on her shoulder and her phone in the back pocket of her jeans.

Her boots clicked as she walked down the few steps that led into the lounge. And Alex swallowed hard when she fully came in view. He didn't have it in him to feel shy or embarrassed to be heard by his mates when he went over to her, clutched her hand and told her, "You look beautiful, Ellie." followed by a kiss on her cheek.

His lips burned on the already heated skin of her cheeks. She just had it in her to say back a quiet, "Thank you, Al. So do you."

He quickly said goodbye to everyone before they could say anything, and he thanked his lucky stars that Matt wasn't there or else she would've shied away from it all with his teasing. She said bye too, quietly as the nerves bit away at her slowly with every step they took in direction to the bus door.

Once outside he decided to tease her, joke around to have her loosen up because he could feel just how stiff and nervous she was. "Beautiful am I then?"

She chuckled, blushing again. "Shut up." she replied with her head down, her voice directed at the floor. "Where are we going anyway?" She put a strand of hair behind her ear as she inquired.

Alex smiled softly at her, "We're renting a car and I'm taking you to this place I've always wanted to go but never had the chance to."

"Mysterious." She let her words hang in the air as they walked, she had no idea where they were going and that made her more nervous yet she was growing giddy too. The bus had stopped at the venue, so they took an exit through a door all the way around, where the fans weren't queuing up for later.

Just like he had been saying, there was a car rental place a few blocks away and it wasn't long before they were driving down San Diego's coast. About twenty minutes later, when she had asked many times where they were going and he was not telling her, Ella was able to see the outline of a rollercoaster beside the sea and it made her gasp.

"Are we going to Belmont Park?!" Her pitch was high as she couldn't contain her excitement, and Alex grinned hard when he took a quick glance at her and saw her practically beaming.

He hummed like he didn't want to let a pathetic happy squeal, "We are."

She couldn't stay still and she was aware that she probably looked like a child but she had always wanted to come to this place, and she was fairly sure she had mentioned it to him when they found themselves chatting over a few drinks at the bar of the hotel they had stayed in when they were in San Francisco.

It came back faintly to her mind then. Alex had mentioned that San Diego was the last place before they would drive back up to Los Angeles and Ella had gone on an alcohol-induced rant about how she'd been dying to go to Belmont Park but the few times she had gone down to San Diego, no one had wanted to go with her or something happened that kept her from going.

Her insides filled with a feeling she had been trying to ignore for the past few days, just thinking about how he had remembered all that when she had almost forgotten even mentioning it in between the cocktails.

Alex rolled the windows down, wind blowing their hair around. Not even her hair on her face could hide her grin and it only got bigger as they parked and got to the ticket booth.

The place was less crowded than she expected it to be, with kids back in school and it being winter, so they were walking freely and enjoying the controlled noise from the people already there.

The orange wristbands they had gotten allowed them to go on any ride they wanted so they went walking around the place, drinking in everything they could do throughout the day and seeing what caught their eyes first.

"We're definitely saving the roller coaster for last." She pointed out, her ears filling with the yells of people on the ride's trains as they came down the big slope.

He nodded, "Yep, but we're going in the first row." He was wearing dark sunglasses but she could see his teasing gaze behind them.

She smirked at him, "Okay, deal." putting her hand out for him to shake and that he did, firmly and matching her smirk.

A few minutes later they had found a mini golf course, safari themed that they deemed the best way to start the day. They picked up their score card, a pencil, their balls and putters and off they went into the course.

Ella turned to him as they approached the first hole, "Don't laugh at me," her finger threatening as it pointed straight at her face. "My dad tried to get me into golfing but I've always been shit at it."

His lips pressed hard against each other, trying to hide his smile. "Sure. Promise I won't laugh."

But when she hit the ball first and it awkwardly landed in the furthest spot from the hole, completely missing it by a foot, he snorted and she huffed as she turned around. "You said you wouldn't laugh!"

Her pout tugged at his heart strings, "Sorry darling," he pressed a kiss to her temple before placing his ball on the tee, "But you really are bad."

"I know." She whined, a soft chuckle leaving her lips seeing how far her ball was and how funny she found her own lack of golfing skills. Jesus, that's fucking embarrassing, she thought.

Ella didn't mind keeping the score, she was just a little embarrassed by the end when Alex won by having half her points. She blushed when he asked who had won, only wanting to tease her because he knew it was him.

Alex had compensated it by getting her ice cream, which they were eating away blissfully as they walked around.

The wind kept blowing her hair around, making her curse as she tried to keep it away from the ice cream. He stopped and handed her his cup, she was confused until he stood behind her and brushed her hair back to then start braiding it.

Her face was heating up, as she stared ahead of her, feeling his fingers on her hair. "What are you doing?" The words were so soft they almost sounded weak.

"A plait, so your hair doesn't blow on your face." Alex responded just as softly, his breath hitting the back of her neck. He could see the goosebumps erupting on her skin so he smirked, purposely brushing his finger against her neck soothingly.

He didn't take long to finish it, tying it with an elastic she had on her wrist. He squeezed her shoulders to indicate he was done and she turned around on her heels, "Thanks, Al."

"No worries." He smiled, getting his ice cream back from her.

"Where did you learn how to braid? I'm curious now."

Alex chuckled at her eyes clearly showing her curiosity. "I used to have long hair y'know."

She paused, "Wait– like long long? Longer than when we met?"

He nodded, "Way longer."

"Oh I'm gonna have a good time on google later." Ella elbowed him softly to tease him, cheeky smile breaking out despite the spoon between her teeth.

He rolled his eyes in faux annoyance, "Sure you will. Will have a good time chatting shit with Matt too, I bet."

She beamed and joked, "You know me so well."

Ella kept on walking then to taunt him some more, leaving him to keep up with her as her strides got faster. She got a playful shove when he caught up beside her which ended in her laughing.

Teenagers were running around with their friends, laughter came from all around the place, the sun was shining bright behind the clouds that stubbornly chased the star around. It was all perfect and it only got better as the day went by.

They had gone on the bumper cars twice, the drop tower, the beach blaster—which had gotten them so dizzy they ended up riding the carrousel afterwards, earning frowns from certain parents who were holding their toddlers up on the horses—, the go karts, the fun house and even a laser maze.

It was around lunch time when they were walking past a line of stands filled with food you could only find at a fair. Sweetness bold in the air, making their mouths water.

"What's that? Smells very nice." asked Alex when they passed a funnel cake kiosk.

Ella stopped in her tracks, grabbing his wrist to drag him to the back of the short line. "Funnel cake and we're getting some," she fished for her card to keep it in hand and pay before he could, like he had done all day. "Have you ever tried it?"

He hadn't even heard of the term before, "No, is it good?"

She sighed in delight just thinking about it, "It tastes like heaven."

Ten minutes later they were sitting on a little wooden table with two funnel cakes—that she proudly and quickly paid for—sitting on top of it. One had whipped cream and caramel drizzled all over, while the other had a scoop of vanilla ice cream, chopped strawberries and chocolate fudge.

"This is like asking for a diabetic coma." The singer joked, watching the dessert filling the plates.

She smiled at that, "Welcome to America baby," she quipped back with a playful tone on her voice.

The phrase came out of her mouth without her even having time to realize the pet name, but she played off her flushing cheeks as excitement as she moved one of the plates towards him and pulled the other in front of her.

Plastic forks dug into the fried batter and, just as Ella had described, it tasted amazing. She made him take bites out of hers, claiming he had to try it or else he'd regret it, so he did and she watched him take it in as she wiped some caramel from the corner of her mouth.

Alex savored the bite, thinking about how if he kissed her, she'd taste just as sweet and just that thought made his mouth water even more.

She had been taking pictures, and he thought about how he'd never grow tired of seeing her like that: so adamant on catching the perfect shot, sometimes slightly crouching down or standing on her tippy toes, nose scrunching as she closed one of her eyes to focus the frame, finger so delicate yet precise when pressing the shutter and that beaming grin after capturing it.

The same grin she was giving him now after she had taken a picture of him and the funnel cakes, the rest of the attendees so oblivious to her heart swelling up at his soft smile and the way his eyes crinkled.

Once they finished their food, they stood up and kept on walking until they stumbled on a photobooth on the left side of the boardwalk. He paid before she could notice, and when they were sitting on the flat red leather seat, she awkwardly smiled at the screen.

There was a five second countdown that made her internally freak out until she settled on just smiling, eyes closed from how big it was and he copied it as he also faced the camera.

Once the shutter sound went off she sighed, "I have no idea what to do, I'm usually the photographer!"

He chuckled and threw his arm around her shoulder to hug her into him, cheek pressed against her temple making her giggle. The sound of her bubbly laughter was interrupted by the shutter and she couldn't wait to see how that one had turned out.

She let out a small shriek, desperately trying to think of something to do. "Okay Mr. Rockstar, rock on." Ella said quickly before doing the rock 'n' roll sign with her right hand, tongue sticking out to the camera. He mirrored her actions, both of them bursting out with laughter right after. "Sorry I panicked, didn't know what to do."

Alex just shook his head and she scrunched up her nose looking at his blissed expression. "You're something else." He said almost breathlessly, getting lost in her pretty eyes.

"Is that a compliment?" Her voice was shy as her cheeks tinted pink for the hundredth time in the day.

He smirked, "Definitely."

And with that the shutter went off capturing the last picture. When they came out of the booth and saw the freshly printed pictures, they laughed. They laughed to hide how the strip of photos actually made them feel, her skin erupted in goosebumps at the sight of the last one: both of them just smiling wide at each other, eyes staring into the other's like nothing else mattered.

He held the little sleeve in which the two strips were now saved, and delicately placed it on the pocket inside of his jacket, so ironically over his heart.

Not long after, they were on the line for the roller coaster which they had agreed would be their last ride before they went out to eat at this Mexican restaurant she loved that wasn't too far away.

She had always hated the long queues at amusement parks, the wait making her body catch onto just how sore her feet were or how her back begged for a resting place but it was easy with Alex. They would get caught in conversations so quickly, effortlessly flowing through topics and stories, making the forty minutes of wait seem shorter.

He had asked for them to be seated in the front row, having to wait for five more minutes before they got the instruction to sit and when they did she wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans.

"Are you nervous?" Alex asked, half teasing and half worried.

Ella cleared her throat to begin explaining, "I love roller coasters but hate heights. Just a walking contradiction I am."

He squeezed her thigh to then pull on the black bar set firmly atop of their hips, "Don't worry, this won't budge."

And before she could nod the trains started moving and her eyes widened, a chesty laugh falling from his lips at her reaction. A few seconds later they were in complete darkness and then the light of day could be seen at the end of the tunnel.

Once the light hit them again, the trains started going up and she turned to him in warning. "Just so you know, I tend to laugh like a maniac when I'm scared on a ride."

"Very excited to see that." Alex was teasing her but not quite, he actually wanted to hear every version of her laugh.

Ella could see the drop coming up and suddenly she remembered the lack of protection her top provided, words spilling out of her mouth with no filter as the anticipation built up. "My fucking tits are gonna fall off this top!" She shouted through her teeth, just loud enough for only them both to hear.

In comparison, his laugh was loud, "Well I wouldn't mind seeing that either."

She scoffed, one hand on the bar on top of them and the other holding the fabric of her strappy top to her exposed chest. "Of course you wouldn't you cheeky– Fuck!"

The car dipped faster than she expected and she closed her eyes for a second after her curse flew out into the wind. He was laughing beside her, making her laugh with him and as the trains went up and down, a funny feeling on her stomach made her giggle away uncontrollably.

The ride ended after a brief minute of ups, downs and tilts to the sides, and as they came to a stop at the loading bay of the attraction, Alex turned to ask her, "You wanna go again?"

In all honesty, he didn't want to make another almost-hour-long line but the whole time he had been looking at her and hearing her in the ride, and he selfishly wanted to experience it all again.

"If the line wasn't as long, then I'd say yes. But maybe next time yeah?" Ella replied, patting his cheek before the worker lifted the security bar and they got out.

They had laughed at her reaction on the way back to the car, the sunset creeping on behind them. She gasped at the colors in the sky as she opened the car door so she stopped to take a picture before getting inside.

"Got it?" The singer asked softly with a small smile on his face.

"Mhm." She nodded, shy smile reciprocating his.

And then they drove as she sang to the songs from her phone. Smirking when 'Suck It And See' came on shuffle, "Oh what a lovely coincidence, isn't it Turner?" she had said before singing along to his voice booming through the speakers.

He had only shook his head as he looked at the road but whenever he turned to see her singing to her heart's content, with the pink and lilac casted behind her as the sun fell slowly to kiss the horizon, he took a mental picture of it all. Not because of nature's wonders but of her, in all her glory, she was far more captivating than any of the most stunning skies he had ever seen.

"A picture would last you longer, Turner." Ella played, feeling his burning gaze as she scrolled through her music on her phone.

His cheeks heated slightly from being caught, "It would. Quite gutted I'm driving right now."

She blushed but leaned into the console to get closer to him and kissed his cheek, "Your memory better do then."

When they stopped at the restaurant, she came out of the car with a bounce on her step. "Oh thank god! I was starving." she admitted, holding his hand as she rushed them into the place. When the tune of the bell greeted them inside, two heads turned and were quick to say 'hello' and sit them down.

"Alright so," she started, clasping her hands in front of her on top of the table, "My guilty pleasure is Mexican coke and I'm just so lucky that we always have it here in the south so we're getting some first. It's so much better than the American one, far sweeter."

He hummed at her, thinking back to remember if he'd ever had Mexican coke but barely even remembering the last instance he'd had a can of regular coke. So when someone came back to take their orders, the first thing she asked for was two bottles of Mexican coke along with carne asada tacos and chips with guacamole.

They ended up ordering another pair of Cokes to wash down the food. She desperately wanted one to nurse the numbness the hot chili sauce had left on her mouth and when the two new bottles were left on the table, she thanked the waitress and quickly enclosed her fingers around one of them.

Condensation dripped down her palm and wrist, as her swollen red lips found purchase around the tip of the bottle. She took a long sip, her throat bobbing up and down as she swallowed the carbonated liquid. Alex suddenly wanted to be the bottle, to feel her lips on his in any way he could, to feel them around him. There was nothing he wouldn't do to be in the place of that damn bottle.

It was about an hour, the time they had spent at the restaurant. They paid—he did, despite her arguing with him about it—, and they were on their way back to the venue shortly after. When they got to the theater, they parked by the back entrance and ran inside seeing they only had fifteen minutes left before Alex had to be on stage.

He got waved over by one of the sound guys, telling him they needed him to check his in-ears before it was show time and he promised he'd be over soon, the man leaving after telling him where they were gonna be waiting for him.

She blushed at the tension in the air, she felt it so thick over her like the humidity after a hot summer rainfall. So shyly she held his hand, rubbing her thumb on the back of it. "Thank you for today." her tone was so timid, it made his need to kiss her shyness away even bigger.

He gave her a soft smile, so genuine that it melted her. "I should be the one thanking you, darling. Had the best day."

Someone in the distance shouted his name, and she could've bet money on it being none other than Matt 'Cockblocker' Helders. But before the drummer could've come to completely ruin the moment, she took it in her own hands to seal the day with a golden ribbon.

With a tinge of courage she started, "Well, happy Valentine's day Al." and before he could say it back, she was standing on her tippy toes and pressing a chaste kiss on his lips.

For merely a few seconds he felt her plush pink lips on his, they were soft and hot, still a bit swollen from the hot sauce. They were seconds that felt like an eternity but way too short for his own liking. Just that moment felt like it had caused a domino effect that somehow provoked a new universe to be created in space, a new black hole to be born and suck everything around it.

She practically ran off before he could do anything else, following the signs that guided her towards the crowd where she knew Breana would be, like every other gig in the past days.

Matt yelled out his name once again but Alex was just standing in the middle of the hallway staring at the wall with the sensation of her lips still pressed against his.

"What the fuck are you doing just standing there like an absolute melt?" The drummer asked with a frown on his face, watching the clock ticking on the wall in front of him.

Alex sighed, wishing time would stop just so he could sit on the feeling and replay the moment over and over until it was permanently engraved in his mind, frame by frame. "Matt, would you just shut up?"

"What? Was the date bad or–?" Matt inquired, teasingly and ready to annoy his best mate.

The singer sighed and cut him off before he could continue with his taunting, "Shut up Matthew." To which the drummer frowned when he saw the big smile breaking out on Alex's face as he turned around.

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After the band got off stage, they all got back in the tour bus and when the lads had finished taking turns to shower, they suddenly decided it was a night worthy of some wine.

Four bottles of red wine later, Ella found herself giggling away as she rested her head on Alex's shoulder. Their cheeks were flushed due to the alcohol and she felt like she was about to start sweating but she couldn't find it in herself to peel away from his side.

Not that Alex wanted her to, that's why his arm was firmly stuck around her waist as he kept her cuddled into his side. He would pinch her side when she made a dig at him, and rub soothing circles on her stomach over the satin of her top when she would laugh or snuggle further into him.

It was nearly three in the morning when they all started to quiet down and he noticed how Ella seemed to have fallen asleep on his shoulder, face hidden on the crook of his neck.

He couldn't find it in himself to wake her up, that's why he stayed until the latest he could, watching everyone wave him goodnight before disappearing up the steps. Eventually, his eyes started closing as he felt the exhaustion catching up to him. He rubbed her arm, up and down until she started squirming under his touch.

"Darling, shall we go to bed now?"

She mumbled something, her lips brushing against the base of his throat, making him almost shiver.

"Should I carry you to bed?" He suggested, his fingers pinching her side softly as he continued, "Huh? Lazy."

She groaned, "I can walk Al. Just–" she paused to yawn behind her hand, "Gonna keep my eyes closed though, so just guide me yeah?"

He nodded, "Alright." So he did what she had asked, saying "Step, another step, last step." his hands around her waist as he walked behind her and guided her back into the bunk beds. When he slowly opened the door, he noticed Jamie and Nick inside their bunks, snoring away peacefully. Bre and Matt were nowhere to be found but he could bet they were on any of the other beds from the room that followed the one they all slept at. At least they are considerate today, he thought.

When they were in front of her bed, he brushed her hair back and away from her face. "We have arrived at your destination, darling."

She hummed slightly in annoyance as she now had to open her eyes to slide into her resting space. "Thank you," her eyes opened just a tiny bit, hissing at the light hitting her corneas. "Fuck, that's bright."

His chuckle made her smile, a loopy grin before she slid into her bunk. "You comfortable?" Alex asked as she slithered further inside the bunk.

She sighed content to finally be in bed, "Very much so," she poked her head out, squinting to see him and decided she was sleepy enough to not care about what she did anymore so she leaned into him to give him another kiss. A peck that ended up being delivered to the corner of his mouth but he wouldn't complain, not when her voice sounded so mellow when she said "Sweet dreams, Al."

And they were sweet dreams, the ones he had, as he fell asleep with the whole day playing on his mind in a never ending loop that he wasn't getting tired of, and the feeling of her lips on his haunting him.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella woke up the next day with another headache and a long list of questions. The memories of the previous day helped lull the ache in her skull but it only added to every single one of her inquiries and worries. She had no idea if things would change or if it would stay all the same.

That was answered sooner than she expected when she went out to meet everyone after brushing her teeth. It seemed like it all was the same but different at the same time, because he still told her good morning followed by a kiss on her cheek but whatever she felt about the things he did before had grown exponentially, and it was like her stomach was flipping on its own over and over.

It happened throughout the whole day, her insides melting at every single embrace, the kisses on her cheek or her temple, the laughs in her ear. And Alex wasn't too far behind, feeling his insides coat with warmth when she would hug his waist every time he came beside her and threw an arm around her shoulders, the way she'd play with his fingers as she chatted with the guys, how she would brush his hair out of his face when the strands got in his eyes.

They had driven back to Los Angeles that morning, meaning they had arrived at the venue just in time for lunch and they weren't planning on doing anything else other than stay in the greenroom until showtime.

After their meal, the band had done a quick soundcheck before the show. Bre and Ella, cheering for them, playfully telling them they could do better and doing silly little dances that didn't match the songs at all.

Back in the greenroom, they had started drinking and playing truth or dare. Ella had rolled her eyes but agreed to participating, despite being nervous about what she'd be dared to do or say.

It was Nick's turn to choose someone and that person ended up being Ella. Her sigh was heard by the whole group, making them laugh.

"Ella, truth or dare?" The bassist's eyes indicated nothing but trouble.

She sipped on her margarita before choosing, "Truth."

Nick paused for a few seconds before he straightened up and smirked, "What was your worst sexual encounter?"

She blew the air out of her mouth dramatically, "You wanna know the worst worst one?"

Everyone nodded along with Nick, all curious to know.

"Okay, erm– Fuck, alright. Just be ready 'cause it's really bad." She started, putting her drink down on the closest table. "A little preface though, this was back when I was confused and seeing if I actually did like men or if I was just a lesbian so bear with me."

She cleared her throat before she could start and took a deep breath, "It was sophomore year in university, we were all in Florida for spring break and I took the chance to just... Y'know," her cheeks reddened at the thought of saying her motives to her friends, "Fuck around." she finished quietly and they all laughed making her face heat up even more.

"Anyway, so I found this guy at the beach who was really hot and he ended up buying me a drink and whatever. Long story short, he told me he had a room in this hotel across the street and we had both been pretty obvious about our intentions so we went up to his room." They all saw how she grew impossibly redder as she reminisced, "So we got down to it..."

Breana interrupted with a gasp, "He went down on you?"

Ella just shook her head, "I wish." The words left her lips before she could think about them and everyone chuckled at her bluntness. "We were just getting off for a while, you know, dry humping and whatnot until we got to bed." She sighed, grimacing at what was coming next. "We took our clothes off and all, he put a condom on after I asked him to and then he started going at it. Only that he never went inside me..." She trailed off, her voice rising in pitch as she got more embarrassed.

"He was on top and we were basically in missionary, but when he went to, erm– put it in, he just put it between my ass and the bed and started thrusting. Mind you, I wasn't making a single noise because I was genuinely confused while he was moaning like a mad man." She turned to grab her glass back up and take a swig of it, the tequila pushing her to finish the story. "He finished so quick and had the nerve to ask if I had finished, I just stood up, said 'no but probably the duvet did', put my shit back on and left him."

Jamie whistled, "Mental."

Matt had the deepest frown on his face, "How do you not notice it's not in?"

"He said something about that being the reason he doesn't wear condoms as I walked away." Ella shrugged, before taking another sip of her drink. "Thanks to him I almost entirely gave up on men."

Breana snickered then, "Oh, but do tell who gave you back hope."

"That's for you to find out if I choose truth in another turn." Ella winked at the model with rosy cheeks, bluffing as she definitely wasn't choosing truth then because one sex story was enough for the day.

Nick interrupted then, "Alright Ella, who are you choosing now?"

"Jamie." She decided after a few seconds of internal debate. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." The guitarist uttered, taking a sip of his own drink.

"I dare you to reenact for us your favorite position." She had a smirk on her face, wanting to tease the man just for the laugh.

"Can't do it alone though." Jamie argued just to see if that would get him out of the dare.

But to Jamie's dismay, she pointed at the man standing right beside him, "Well you've got Alex right there don't you?"

When Jamie dragged Alex to the settee and pulled him on top of him as he laid on it, the rest of the group started hollering, Matt wolf whistling as Alex hovered above Jamie's lap in a cowgirl position, swinging an imaginary laso above his head.

"I see the vision, Ella." Bre approved playfully between giggles which got her giggling too as she went to retrieve her polaroid camera.

She pointed at the two guys on the sofa and ordered them, "Stay there, I'm taking a picture of this." as she turned the device on, and ten seconds later the shutter had gone off and the picture was getting printed out.

Matt took the opportunity, seeing as Jamie got off the sofa leaving Alex sat there alone, to dare Ella to do the same using Alex as her partner. "Go on then Ella, it's your turn to show us yours."

"Says who? It's Jamie's turn to choose." She chatted back knowing exactly what Matt was trying to do.

But before she could continue, Jamie clocked onto what the drummer was doing and egged her on. "I choose you and you're doing that same dare."

She rolled her eyes, cheeks growing more flushed despite them being already pink from the alcohol. Her legs hit the sofa and she laid on it just like Jamie had done, only she pressed her feet on the settee but before she lifted her hips up, she grabbed Alex's hand and guided him on top of her.

He was about to tease her, about to say 'Oh so you like being on the bottom?' when she knocked the breath out of his lungs by saying, "Hop on, you be me." loud enough for everyone to hear and gasp in shock.

Once Alex was on top of her, she pushed his hands to be just above her shoulders so his chest was almost pressed against her and his collarbone was straight on top of her face. She lifted her hips up and pressed them on his ass for a quick second, winking at him before dropping back down.

Matt was quick to comment, with a heavy smirk on his face. "Oh she is dirty."

Nick followed, "Naughty!"

And Jamie topped it all off by asking, "How long have you been thinking about that one? You worked that out with Alex really quick."

She hid behind her hands, her palms feeling the growing heat on her whole face. "I'm never drinking with y'all ever again."

Everyone laughed away, even Alex but he did it in her ear as he dropped further into her fully sitting on her lap.

"Uncover your face for me darling." He ordered with such a raspy voice she wanted to squeeze her thighs together but she couldn't so she just did as he said. He smirked, pulling back a few inches to see her from that angle, all flustered and with her hair disheveled over the settee. What a stunning view.

"That's it." His eyes looked at her adoringly and she felt like she was melting onto the settee under his gaze, but Ella completely froze and burnt over at the same time when Alex whispered to her, "Good girl."

As if he hadn't just said that, he got up and walked over to get another cup of whiskey. She was left gathering her thoughts on the sofa, head all scrambled and her very human needs screaming at her to do something about the man.

She got up eventually, Breana winking at her as she walked past her and to the table which had the bottle of tequila. She needed a shot, or two. So she poured them and downed them instantly, needing herself to calm down.

After that moment, it felt like everything had gotten even more intense. Maybe it was the sexual tension suffocating them whilst they were in the same room and she wondered if their friends around them could feel it too.

Alex would come up behind her and hug her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder as he rubbed circles on the skin that showed in between her black dress pants and her shirt. Ella would relax in his arms, drowning in his scent as she indulged in the sweetness of his touch.

He would press kisses to her face before he went anywhere, brushing his fingers on her arm or her waist as he walked past. She would turn over her shoulder to see him and scrunch her nose at him before leaving a peck on his cheek that made a toothy grin break out on his face.

She was drinking it all in, knowing that the next day, when her coworkers from the crew came over to the venue for the gig and later on they moved to the place they'd film at, she would force herself to distance herself from Alex just to appear professional and not have everyone talking and asking questions.

That's why that night, she was in front of the barricade beside Breana recording every single bit of the gig that her phone allowed her. He had noticed, of course he had, since he spent most of the time on stage looking at her so he decided to tease her for a bit.

"You ready? You recording?" Alex asked into the mic with his eyes on her and everyone in the crowd looked to their left to see her.

Her eyes went wide like a deer caught in headlights so she just lowered her phone down with her signature pink cheeks.

He wanted to coo at her, "No, no. Record this one, it's your favorite." The singer added before he put the mic back on its stand and started playing 'Teddy Picker'.

She had recorded it all and when she went back to see the videos before falling asleep, she found every glance he took at her forever captured, every point of his finger as he sang, every little dance of his that she knew where the one's she had made fun of him for. She had it all.

And just as she had predicted, the next and last day of the little tour had arrived, making her wake up melancholic. She savored every hug, every feel of his lips against her skin, every graze of his fingers on her body, before her bosses and coworkers got to the venue.

When the Focus Creep crew arrived, a few hours before the show, Alex instantly noticed the change in her behavior and he knew why that was, so he would respect it. He kept to stolen glances and fleeting touches, no constant kisses on her cheek or her temple, no hugging her every chance he got but definitely some embraces here and there.

The limited affection had already sparked questions and talks from her coworkers so he understood her position, which he had heard in echoes and passing comments, and on top of that was Ben who attentively was watching them and then smirking at Alex like he knew exactly what was happening.

Ella had decided to be a part of the crowd that night, standing almost in the middle of the crowd, about five rows from the barricade but she had a perfect view of the stage so she wasn't complaining. Some of her friends from work stood beside her and Breana did too, they all had a drink in hand, sipping absentmindedly as they waited for the show to start.

When they had all finished their drinks is when the band had gone on stage, causing the sea of people to push forward and make her stumble. He had found her in between all the faces fairly quickly, winking at her before greeting the audience and starting the gig.

She knew by then that the sixth song was always one he would sing looking at her since she loved it, so before they were due to start it she puckered up and blew a cheeky kiss to him when his eyes had landed on her.

He smiled before puckering up himself and blowing her multiple kisses. Bre shook her by her shoulders and shrieked in her ear very not subtly, making her wince inside but her smile couldn't be brighter and she couldn't care less if her work friends had seen, because she was incredibly happy.

She was sure by the end of the night she'd grow the courage to properly kiss him. Finally.

So with that goal set in her mind, she kept going about her night with a smile and a skip in her step. She had a beaming smile on her face even as she picked her blue clipboard and saw the massive list of things she had to make sure were in order for the shoot.

The location in which they were filming had only been ten minutes away, and they had come to it almost ready. There was a car which looked the exact same as the one on the Black Treacle music video and about twenty feet in front of it, by the end of a dirt trail, was a circular spinning platform that was homing a drum kit made to look exactly like Matt's on stage.

Around the place were tents in which Matt and Alex were being touched up to be ready for filming, and two tents down the row from the lads were the models getting their makeup done and changed into costume. Caroline and Arielle were the lovely models and Ella had just introduced herself to them before she got called away by one of the camera men.

When Ella went back to the tents to check up on the models, she walked past Alex and Arielle chatting away a few feet away from the tents and beside the big lights that were up around the site, soft smiles on both their faces as they dove into conversation. She felt a small pinch in her chest, one that she decided to ignore the best she could because Alex was a nice person, he was kind and welcoming and she had no reason to feel and react that way at the fact that he was only talking to someone else who she had heard was his friend.

Her feet took her to check up on Caroline who was almost ready, and Matt who was getting his hair fixed. She instructed both of them to go back into the filming area as soon as they were done so the filming could be started.

After that she left to go stand beside Nick, talking to him about random stuff like how long it usually took the crew to set up shoots like that or how Nick had been doing with the wedding planning as she'd heard him on the phone in the morning with Kelly.

When the four people who were gonna appear in the video were ready, Ella told them to follow her up to the directors. Ben and Aaron told them they would rehearse a few goes before properly filming the whole thing, since it was a single-shot video and it would be filmed by Alex and Matt at the start.

First went Alex and Matt, to get instructed exactly what they should do when they got in the car and how they got out, the musicians brainstorming the things they could do whilst they filmed themselves in the car.

As they went over and over again, for about six or seven times, Ella had been standing next to Arielle. They had been talking about lots of things: Arielle's modeling career, Ella's photography hobby, how Arielle had been auditioning for a few commercials and small acting gigs, how Ella had moved to LA and a year later landed a job with Ben and Aaron. The girls had gotten on fairly well, following each other on Instagram and laughing about the things Alex and Matt were doing in front of the camera.

After that, Ella got called over as the two brits got let off after almost half an hour. Matt had gotten off the car and gave her a smile, Alex side hugged her quickly before walking off with the drummer. She had smiled back at him when he let go but he missed it as his eyes were set on the model standing a few feet behind the PA, his smile being directed towards Arielle rather than her.

She had had to act cool, as if that minimal detail wasn't begging to claim her every thought, nodding as her bosses told her to stay close and annotate as they gave instructions to the crew on set.

Someone drove the car back down the dirt trail, Ben guiding the two cameramen on the angles he wanted to be captured and the setting on the light. Ella had helped move some of the lights, her eyes focused on Aaron as he moved his hands from side to side and sometimes rotating them.

Her eyes had slipped in Alex's direction a fair few times and she had noticed just how much closer Arielle and him looked, as they didn't leave each other's side even if she got called over by the makeup department or he was called over by Ben to ask if he was alright with that angle and the timing.

By the time she was done with the lights, Ella had gotten sent to check if the platform was spinning correctly, she pressed the button and as she heard it turn she also heard Alex's voice a tad louder than the creaks of the spinning object.

"So have you got a map?" He asked Arielle, his shoulder brushing the model's.

Arielle frowned with a smile on her face, "Of LA?" The singer nodded quickly, "No I don't, why?" she had asked back just as quickly.

"Just wanted one 'cause I keep getting lost in your eyes." Hiss tone was cheeky, and Arielle let out a bubbly laugh. Her perfect smile on full display as she nudged Alex's shoulder with hers.

"That was a nice one." Arielle had replied back, still smiling hard at him.

Ella had spun the platform back around by the time she had heard the end of the interaction and she rolled her eyes before walking back to the directors. She couldn't be annoyed though, she had no right to be, he was probably just being funny like he always was.

Breathe in, breathe out, she told herself.

As the directors went over to Nick to tell him exactly how he'd be sitting in the back between the two models, Matt came to stand beside Ella. Her eyes were glued to the scene in front of her as Arielle was still very much stuck beside the singer and he was leaning into her more and more making her laugh.

"Seems like you make a great matchmaker." lightheartedly joked the drummer, looking at the same thing she was.

She frowned, confused as she turned to Matt, "What do you mean?" Matt pointed at Alex and Arielle with a tilt of his chin and she frowned even deeper before adding, "It wasn't my decision to choose her."

It was Matt's turn to frown then, "Whose was it then?"

"Well I was told by your team she was selected by you because you already knew her."

Matt sighed, "We've seen her a couple times in artists sections in festivals, yes, but the only one who was a slight bit more of an acquaintance with her is Alex."

Ella hummed, "That answers the question then, doesn't it?" She finished up, a tight lip smile that was way too forced and Matt started to feel bad. It got worse when Arielle broke out in a very loud laugh that had Alex covering her mouth with his hand, fully hugging her as they swayed from her weak attempts to break from his hold.

Ella's heart was sinking, but she had to remind herself she had no leg to stand on to go and complain about his behavior, to be openly jealous about it because nothing serious had happened between her and Alex. At least not serious enough for him, if he was going around acting this way with Arielle after being so close with her the week before.

Ben called everyone to their places, meaning Ella saw Arielle and Alex separate for the first time in thirty minutes. She had no idea what to think anymore, the way he was acting with the model reminded her how he was with her and she hated it.

She tried to push it in her mind that he and Arielle were friends already, so maybe there was a trust to act that way with each other. She tried, but it did nothing to the way her guts twisted at the image of those two together like that.

They did one take but something had seemed off from the cameras, the settings seemed too different from the car to the outside shot so the directors got to fixing it up the quickest they could after they yelled cut.

Out of the corner of her eye she had caught Alex and Arielle leaving for the furthest tent and getting behind it, her giggles could be heard as they walked away from everyone and she slowly felt like she was going to be sick.

It took about ten minutes to get it all sorted out, Ben's voice called everyone up again to start filming again and everyone listened. Aaron called the models in first, giving them a second rundown of their duties and how they should get in frame. As the director talked, Alex had walked over to Ella and hugged her from behind like he had gotten used to throughout the tour.

Ella hadn't want anything more than that, as she had been deprived of his touch for a fair while since they had gotten to the set, but when she tried to relax into his chest and rest her head on his shoulder, she had smelt the model's perfume and it had make her freeze in her spot. Alex had felt her tense up but brushed it off, his mind too aware that he had the attention of two stunning women and it had gotten his ego boosted up a little too high.

She didn't reciprocate the embrace like before: only one of her hands on top of his, her back inches apart from his chest, her head not weighing down on his shoulder, no kisses on his cheek, no cheeky glances or nose scrunches. But he didn't really wonder about it since he was too busy staring at the other American girl that was dressed in costume right in front of him. A few seconds later, he got called over and he easily let go of Ella, leaving her with a faint squeeze of her waist.

She had noticed how enthusiastic he got every time he was able to get back beside the model, always a smirk on his face as he kept brushing shoulders with her or whispering things in her ear before he got in the car for each take.

Alex was looking amazing for the shoot as well, meaning Ella could see Arielle so painfully obvious checking Alex out and him doing the same to the model when she turned around.

It was probably the twelfth official take they had done, almost running off of the flares the models walked with to the drum kit as they kept repeating the video over and over. The new song that she had already learned the lyrics to, now completely engraved in her mind since they had it playing on loop with almost no breaks in between each play.

The question now replayed in her mind, bringing back memories. Are you mine? His gaze stuck on hers while singing the chorus. Are you mine? Her wink after she sang 'are you mine tomorrow? Or just mine tonight' that night at the very last gig, making his smirk grow and a tinge of blush show on his face. Are you mine? His eyes no longer on her now, but stuck on Arielle even when he had her in his arms. Are you mine? Ella just wanted to turn the song off to stop it all coming to the forefront of her mind.

They were about to start the thirteenth take, after the directors went over the last bit of footage the last take had given them, when she walked past the quiet place Arielle and Alex were cooped up in. It was near a corner, behind a line of four big lights and away enough from everyone from the crew. Ella had been walking around the site, the edges of it taking her straight behind them, and that's why she had heard them.

"I've got another question..." Alex had started with that tone that meant he was gonna say one of his cheesy flirt lines and Ella just had to stay and listen to what he'd say, she thought her head was cooler by then and she might find it funny but she had no idea what she was about to get. "How does it feel like being the most gorgeous girl in the room?"

Ella's blood ran cold then, the familiar words coming back to her like a bucket of ice cold water and as Arielle giggled and leaned into him touching his arm, she felt herself feeling faint.

She didn't even think about her following actions, as she scoffed much louder than she anticipated but still quiet enough for it to only be heard by her and the other two. Her feet took her faster than she was thinking, accidentally barging into Alex's shoulder as she made a beeline towards her bosses.

He whipped his head around so fast, forgetting about the model beside him and catching a glimpse of Ella's pale complexion. But his worry was brief as he turned back around to the model, who was now fully leaning into him to continue flirting with him. A smile broke out on his face, seeing Arielle's reaction.

Ella felt like those fifteen feet of walk had actually been a whole mile, her heart hammering in her chest as if trying to keep her up until she could finally break down. As soon as she got beside Ben, she tapped his shoulder. The man saw her worried face, the lack of color on it and he got preoccupied.

"Are you alright Ella?" Ben asked softly, his inquiry making Aaron pause what he was doing to check on their PA.

She sighed, feeling everything coming up her throat and wanting to leave her body. "I'm not feeling well guys, I– I, uhm, I think it would be better if I just go home."

Aaron nodded, they didn't have much left anyways and Ella was so dedicated to her job, they knew that if she was asking to leave, it was because of something serious. "Of course, you have a way to get home?"

She thought about her car, being parked at the hotel an hour away from home but she'd take a taxi. She didn't care anymore, she just didn't want to be there. "Yes, someone is coming to get me, don't worry."

And just like that they let her go. She practically ran to the Monkeys' tour bus to retrieve everything she had there, and she thanked the fact that Bre had to leave right after the show for having encouraged her to have her suitcase ready well before the gig.

Ella called a cab company and told them to pick her up at a McDonald's that was a block away. As she walked, she felt like she wanted to cry and it infuriated her even more. Because why would she cry? They weren't anything at all, a date didn't mean shit apparently and much less would the touches they shared.

She cursed herself for getting attached when she knew she shouldn't have. It all came back to who they were, even if he hadn't done what he had that night, by the end of it she'd be getting dropped off at her house and he'd be leaving to travel around the world. It would've never worked out.

When she remembered how she had strived to properly kiss him goodbye that night, before they parted ways once again, she allowed herself to let the tears fall. And she cried on the way back home, when she saw their photo booth pictures sticking out of the inside pocket of her purse.

She wanted to throw it away but she couldn't, that's what she did when somebody hurt her: cling onto every last beautiful thing they gave her even if the memory stung like a wound being sprayed with salt. She was half tempted to burn it as she lit the cigarette she had just placed between her lips before finding the pictures but when she flipped it, she found something written down.

'only the sweetest of dreams for you, miss tennessee xxxx'

It came over her how every sweet memory of him would taste bitter now, and how it would up until the moment she'd finally decide she was over it. And that's when it all started tasting more bitter, and then it turned sour and her sadness turned into anger.

The audacity he had had, to just drop her like a toy he had gotten bored of, and maybe he had had other intentions but seeing how shy she was and how he wasn't getting anywhere, he decided to change her the first chance he got.

And there it was, that feeling of being so easily replaceable dawning over her head like the darkest cloud in the sky that swore to bring the heaviest precipitation of the year. The heartache she had felt when she got cheated over by the one person she swore was the one, and it was insane to her how she could feel a similar way about someone she knew for so little doing her wrong too. But she couldn't downplay it either, not when it opened a wound back up that had taken so long to close.

In her head she was asking herself repeatedly, 'am I that easy to replace?' until each word lost its meaning but the feeling was still the same, if not worse.

She cried a little more when she got home, feeling the familiar walls like an embrace that she longed for. The tears were falling as she showered, slowly and without permission, making her wipe them with more force than necessary, leaving her cheeks red raw. But it had been slightly relieving to cry under the shower for she confused her tears with the water falling over her and it made her feel less pathetic.

By the time she was out of the shower and she slowly finished getting ready to sleep, the filming had been wrapped up. The crew were quick to pick everything up and load it into the production company's coach.

Matt walked over to Alex, who was too busy staring at Arielle's ass as she walked away to get out of costume that he didn't notice his presence until he cleared his throat.

"Y'Alright?" asked Matt, still confused about his friend's antics throughout the day.

Alex nodded with a tight lip smile, "You?"

"Wonderful." The drummer answered, a slight hint of irony in his voice that the singer decided to ignore.

The both of them had stayed quiet, watching the organized chaos going around. And it wasn't until Alex saw Ben with Ella's blue clipboard as he waved goodbye to them that he realized she was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Ella?" The singer seemed worried, it dawning on him then how he hadn't seen her since she barged into him.

Matt shrugged, "Dunno. She left running earlier and the driver said she got her case from the bus."

Alex's heart dropped, thinking about all the endless possibilities of something happening to her, "I'm gonna text her and see if she's okay."

"Well, she probably isn't after she's played cupid against herself." Matt sassily replied.

Alex frowned, "What do you mean?"

Matt sighed, almost annoyed at his best mate's lack of common sense, "Mate, there was something there between you two after Valentine's day, and tonight you've just gone and switched her for Arielle."

"No I haven't. Me and Arielle, that's just banter." He explained back like it was obvious.

The drummer didn't want to get deeper into the situation, he had already said what he had seen and all that was left was for his friend to realize so, "Whatever you say Al." was all he mustered before leaving him, going straight back to their tour bus.

Ten minutes Alex was left thinking, taking the first few minutes to text Ella and the rest to thoroughly think about what Matt had just said. He knew she must've heard him talking to Arielle and maybe it wasn't the best of things to listen to after everything that had happened during the past week but it was just lighthearted banter to him, a joke to keep them entertained during the filming process.

It was all a misunderstanding and he would tell her if that's what she had gotten upset over. Surely it has to be something else though, he thought.

(16/02/2012 23:13) Ellie, are you alright? Don't know what happened but I hope you're okay darling x

(16/02/2012 23:14) Matt said you left running and he saw you getting your stuff out of the tour bus, please let me know you're alright xx

(16/02/2012 23:15) We didn't even get to say goodbye properly but I hope to see you soon yeah? xx

(16/02/2012 23:17) As soon as you see this, please let me know you're okay xx

(16/02/2012 23:19) Maybe you're home and asleep already, if that's it then text me in the morning? Sweet dreams darling, see you soon xxx

Their drive to LAX had been going fine. They were relatively quiet in comparison to how they usually were but it was because they were tired: the days of tour, driving and walking around plus the late night filming had caught up to them. Alex was mixing his concern about Ella with his exhaustion making it even worse, the sways of the tour bus not helping with the headache he could feel brewing in the back of his skull.

Alex's thoughts were interrupted then by Matt laughing at his phone, the light of his device reflecting on his eyes.

(16/02/2012 23:32) Is everything good Ella? Saw you running to leave the set.

(16/02/2012 23:48) Everything is good Matt! Sorry for leaving like that and not saying bye, I was feeling kinda sick and I couldn't keep it together any longer. (Feel like a bitch for not saying goodbye knowing I'm not going to see you for god knows how long :()

(16/02/2012 23:48) Yeah probably not the best to have you projectile vomiting in the middle of our music video!! (You don't have to feel like one, you're one already xxxx)

(16/02/2012 23:49) You're the absolute worst...

(16/02/2012 23:49) HAHA love you Ellie!! Hope to see you very soon xx

(16/02/2012 23:49) Love you too dickhead. See you soon xx

Before Alex could complain about the unnecessary noise coming from Matt, he informed them all, "Ella's fine, she was just feeling ill." which made Alex snap his eyes open to look at him.

Jamie snorted then, cheekily suggesting, "Ask her if she's sure she isn't pregnant."

Leaning over Matt's shoulders, Nick and Jamie started laughing as the drummer's fingers started typing what the guitarist had said.

Alex frowned, not only at his friends acting like kids but at the fact that Ella had replied to Matt and not him. There wasn't a day she didn't reply to him within minutes if she was awake. He thought for a second then that he might've gotten a reply but hadn't noticed it, so to make sure he unlocked his phone.

But he hadn't expected what he saw, and he thought back to what Matt had said and just how bad of a confusion the end of the night had been when he was met with the proof that she had just plainly ignored him.

(16/02/2012 23:13) Ellie, are you alright? Don't know what happened but I hope you're okay darling x

(16/02/2012 23:14) Matt said you left running and he saw you getting your stuff out of the tour bus, please let me know you're alright xx

(16/02/2012 23:15) We didn't even get to say goodbye properly but I hope to see you soon yeah? xx

(16/02/2012 23:17) As soon as you see this, please let me know you're okay xx

(16/02/2012 23:19) Maybe you're home and asleep already, if that's it then text me in the morning? Sweet dreams darling, see you soon xxx

read at 23:41

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A/N: Uh oh... Well now I don't even know if I should ask if you liked it hahaha, but I really hope you did. Shit only gets more interesting from here so I hope you lot are just as eager as me to see how it unfolds. Thanks a million for reading, I appreciate it so much!! I hope you have the best weekend and I'll see you April 7th for the next one xx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @red---moon @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc

#alex turner #alex turner x reader #alex #turner #arctic monkeys #alex turner arctic monkeys #alex turner fanfiction #alex turner fanfic #alex turner fluff #alex turner one shot #alex turner blurb #alex turner drabble #alex turner imagine #alex turner x you #alex turner x y/n #matt helders #nick omalley #jamie cook

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shinnoguchiphotography · 18 days

Photo

日本語はnoteへ

My new photo book, 'In Color In Japan: Selected and New Works,' is now available for pre-order on the publisher's website until June 30th.

This edition is not just a revision of the first edition; 68 photographs from the first edition were carefully selected and meticulously rescanned and re-edited. Additionally, 15 new photographs were added that were not included previously, resulting in a total of 83 captivating images.

With refreshed design and size, this book has been crafted to be a timeless addition to your collection, whether you're already a proud owner of the first edition or discovering it for the first time.

PLEASE NOTE: There is no limited number of copies, but once the pre-order period ends on June 30th, no additional copies will be printed.

I am eagerly awaiting to see whether we will print 1000 copies or even receive orders for tens of thousands. Your support means the world to me!

Shin Noguchi: In Color In Japan: Selected and New Works https://www.eyeshotstreetphotography.com/shop/books/in-color-in-japan-selected-and-new-works-by-shin-noguchi/

Format: Hardcover Pages: 188 Images: 83 Size: W24 x H22 cm Publisher: Eyeshot Country: Italy Publication Year: Aug 1st, 2024 Order acceptance deadline: June 30th, 2024 Prices: 44,90€ Order: Publisher's website There is no limited number of copies, but once the pre-order period ends on June 30th, no additional copies will be printed.

The schedule from order acceptance to shipping: April 12th: General pre-order sales begin. June 30th: Pre-order period ends. July 1st: Printing begins. August 1st: Shipping begins.

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Dear photo editors, please feel free to reach out to me if you’re interested in featuring this book release. I’d be happy to provide some materials. https://shinnoguchiphotography.com/about/

Related News: Leica Camera Global Campaign “M is M.”: https://blog.shinnoguchiphotography.com/730796725271412736

Thank you for introducing this new! GENIC / Curbon / Leica Camera UK / Pictorique / Timeless Streets

新しい写真集「In Color In Japan: Selected and New Works」が発売されます。現在、イタリアの出版社ウェブサイトにて6月30日まで予約注文を受付中です。詳細はnoteに： https://note.com/shinnoguchi/n/neaaaa35c838e

#news #book #photobook #published

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supop · 1 year

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What do you think BTS will do next as soloists? Which member has been the most impressive in Chapter 2?

Hi hey hello :) I’ve been MIA for months but I’m surprised to see I’ve still been getting lots of asks. Did you miss me? Did ya did ya did ya? Going by the number of messages in my inbox I’d say, yes :) Sorry for ghosting you guys; I simply got bored with BTS and stopped keeping up with the group as whole. Meanwhile, their solo era has been fun to observe, huh? Some things I expected, other things I did not. I’m sure you’ve all missed supop thoughts. So, without further adieu, here are my guesses for 2023-2024, in no particular order:

Truthfully, I’ve been trying to post for the past 3 days but tumblr is glitching, and none of my posts are saving. Just as I was about to say F it.... if you can read this, then the issue must be fixed, right? This post hasn’t been proofread, so ignore any grammatical errors and the weird use of punctuation. I have a flight to catch soon, so I’ll answer more asks when I land, and as always.... keep it cute~

Individual YouTube channels (starting off with this because there’s been rumors about it for months now; I doubt all members will have one, but I feel like j-hope or Jungkook may go this route. I actually started to believe it when j-hope posted about his new Leica camera a while back. I know he’s into photography, but there’s always a deeper meaning behind everything he does/posts and he’s been carrying that camera around to all the events he’s been attending; maybe it’s just me overthinking, but it’s giving vlog material at the very least. Each member has a YouTube topic channel, but this will likely be a platform for more direct professional/business use where other creatives are featured or personal use for vlogging, trips, unedited material etc. without constant company oversight; aka without every single piece of content being scheduled by bighit/hybe and distributed via weverse; I also wonder if any more of them will get solo shows like Suchwita on the BangtanTV channel)

Individual Twitter accounts (this one seems farfetched, but so were their instagrams at one point; if they do indeed go this route I can eventually see some members leaving it up to the company to handle their respective social medias while others take a more hands-on approach with their fans—since instagram alone already seems like a struggle for some; they can also repost content from instagram which would also give them more individual exposure since the two social media platforms tend to have completely different audiences; it would also be nice for collaborators/brands/media to be able to tag them directly instead of @ the group account; finally, there’s a reason why each member has stuck to uploading all personal content on their respective instagrams since Dec 2021, so expect the group Twitter to become even more desolate than it already is if this does happen)

Individual TikTok accounts (Instagram, YouTube and Twitter....then why not TikTok too? It would make more sense when it comes to promoting their solo music and once again connecting with their respective audiences/fanbases; it only makes sense for solo artists to promote their solo work on solo accounts especially when their music and personalities are all so different; that’s 7 different audiences that should be catered to instead of trying to fit everyone into one big purple-colored box. All 7 members together represent BTS, but no single member is a representation of BTS; there’s a reason why JITB is completely different from anything BTS has released as group, and it’s the same reason why Indigo is so different from JITB; someone who likes JITB may not care for 90% of BTS’s discography and the same would apply to other members’ solo albums that have yet to be released; this is the obvious truth, but armys will continue to delude themselves as if the term bias doesn’t exist.)

Individual Facebook pages (and lastly, Facebook because all artists need a Facebook page to be able to link their music to their personal Instagram accounts; the BTS official Instagram account has it but when you scroll through you only see JK and RM’s music, which to me isn’t fair to other members who have music under their official Spotify profiles; the members are artists first, right? not influencers, therefore, artistry should be respected in a similar manner)

Opening their comment section on Instagram (limited comments are boring, but i don’t blame them; I’d sure they’re well aware that a select group of their “fans” are unhinged; just look at the way those same “fans” have attacked people who they’ve deemed to be “wrongly” associated with them or people they’ve “accidentally” followed; honestly I’m also worried about the occasional wave of hate/d.threats some members would receive in their comment sections from deranged akgaes; I will never understand not liking someone, yet going out of your way to invade their public accounts or content posted related to them just to spew hateful nonsense or send d.threats about how much you don’t like them; take a breather because it’s never ever that deep. And if you ever feel the need to take it that far towards anyone (celebrity figure or not), then may your pathetic existence quickly reach its expiration date; people also seem to have a lot more balls on instagram, so it’s a good thing Instagram’s safety features are a lot better than Twitter’s—i.e., the report and block buttons def work)

Following more people on Instagram (lol honestly following 0 people isn’t anything new from the celebrity pov and we can all thank Bey for establishing that, but following only your 7 group members is just...meh; are they gonna live as 7 for the rest of their lives? No, but they probably have to keep it this way otherwise there’s a possibility that every single non-bts related account on their following list would be harassed and stalked to oblivion by deranged fans; not to mention as it is, BH/Hybe staff already do such a great job at leaking private info related to BTS, you would think their proximity to such high-profile celebrities would result in ironclad NDAs but I guess not...sigh when will we be free)

Individual brand deals/endorsements (this one is already under way and was really really obvious from the start because we all know “7 or nothing”—not necessarily their bond but the way they’ve been marketed to fans—has always been nothing more than a sales gimmick; seriously not every member will have the skillset that a specific brand is looking for, so let’s let the ones who shine, shine; instead of trying to sell the lackluster ones as a package deal; “buy one get one free” should never apply to people; for the members yet to be announced there’s been rumors of various brands so let’s just wait and see...hopefully no controversial brands are chosen.

Individual fashion global ambassadorships (similar to the above, except I think only the members interested in fashion should get involved in this, but then again, this is the k-entertainment industry we’re talking about, and as of late ambassadorships have become part of the whole “album promo” package deal; either way I’m sure the money is good for BTS, and at the end of the day it’s a win-win; interest or not, the artist gets paid and the brand gets “exposure”) **side note: ambassadorships are cool, but the real deal would be with whichever brand pursues a true partnership with the artist by creating a collaborative fashion line or collection that expresses their artistic vision through fashion and/or even a performance that speaks to the brand’s image. pretty red carpet and campaign pictures are nice, but what the world needs is a tangible piece that can be held or tangible memory that can be seen. I think that’s what truly separates the artist-turned-fashion icon/creative director/business mogul from the rest.

More fashion week appearances (so far we’ve gotten Louis Vuitton, Dior, Hermès. I’m glad j-hope didn’t/hasn’t yet? signed with LV otherwise we never would’ve gotten 3 completely different, yet ultimately iconic looks from him in the span of just 3 days; Jimin for Dior; Suga for Valentino; other members may also attend shows for the brands they will be announced as Global/House Ambassadors) **another side note: Hobi wore clothes from LV’s unreleased collection which is rare feat in itself and he was also invited behind the scenes, shown the collection prior to the show, and he entered and exited the venue via a private entrance that was reserved for VIPs. I also saw a photo of Hobi with the Arnaults. Do you know how difficult it is to meet them? You can’t just meet them lol, they’d first have to want to meet you. And Hoseok did that with not 1, but 3 (maybe 4 because 2 of the brothers attended the Dior show) members of the family, including the LVMH CEO himself. It’s not even enough to be a high-profile celebrity; You usually have to have a long-standing working relationship with them or with one of their brands which means their connection with Hoseok must run pretty deep, and they have plenty of trust in him as a global representative. The same thing applies to Hermès. They do no care how rich or famous you are. Before you’re even able to purchase one of their bags directly, you’d have to be a longtime/VIP shopper. Even then getting a bag isn’t guaranteed. You’ll forever be on a waitlist, it could even take years, until you’re invited to purchase one. You also can’t pick and choose which model or color of bag you want lol. Everyone knows about the Birkin, but most are lucky to even be offered a Kelly for purchase. And not only did Hoseok meet with their executives, they also gifted him a Haut à courroies 50 bag (the one in his airport photos upon arrival from Paris) which is one of their largest bags, and is more difficult to secure than a regular Birkin. In short, he got the full VVIP treatment from both rival brands. Who else can relate? With that said, more than an ambassadorship, there could be a j-hope fashion line or a collection of some sort in the works; or perhaps he was doing field research to decide which brand will be in charge of designing his world tour outfits....who knows, only time will tell; as for fashion week there’s still New York, London, Milan, more in Paris, and even Seoul; appearances and shows will depend on the brand)

More solo magazine covers (this also isn’t anything new but even Hybe’s nugu groups with zero impact and lots of payola are already getting solo covers in top magazines, attending fashion week, and having brand ambassadorships under their belts, so it’s ridiculous it took BigHit/Hybe almost a decade to allow bts members the same opportunity)

Vogue, GQ, Hot Ones? video interviews (as much as I love a good magazine interview, there’s nothing better than being able to observe body language; I was surprised when we got GQ’s ‘10 things Jin’, but it only proves that more spontaneous less unscripted interviews where the gp can easily tune in are no longer beyond the realm of possibilities; which means I’m expecting Vogue to come through with any of the following: Life in Looks, 24 Hours with, 73 Questions, Get Ready with, Beauty Routine, etc; more 10 things with GQ; and Hot Ones would be great)

More solo interviews (see tv appearances)

More solo TV appearances w/Korean media (I know that new Mnet program is currently in the works; and I’m kind of hoping for more popular variety shows and broadcasts; anything that would promote their music domestically vs. the fan-targeted content posted on BangtanTV)

More solo TV appearances w/Western media (it’s no secret that Korean media can be restrictive when it comes to artistic expression, so similar appearances at tv programs like late night shows for an interview and performance would be great; just like they’ve done for many years as a group, so it’s ridiculous how they’re not getting a similar promotional rollout for their solo careers)

More solo red carpet appearances (this one technically isn’t a stand alone event, but you can include any activities here that aren’t necessarily centered around them or any of the other ones I’ve listed; like them getting invited to a movie premiere of a friend of a friend’s)

More solo performances (probably minor ones because I really don’t think any of them will put on a performance as major or as lengthy as the scale of Hobipalooza’s headliner setlist and preparation; unless of course its j-hope himself; as for festival performances, there’s of course Lollapalooza, but we also have Coachella, Rolling Loud, Something in the Water, Wireless Festival, Splash Festival, Made in America, The Governors Ball; most of these festivals have a primarily hip-hop/rap-centric audience, so don’t expect vocal line to make any appearances. I can’t speak for Yoongi or Namjoon, but I doubt Hoseok will be interested in doing anything less than a headlining stage. Otherwise expect performances at the usual Western music award shows, year-end Asian music award shows, and South Korea’s music bank/inkigayo)

Solo world tour announcement (we can dream right?)

More solo music collaborations (there’s been many rumors on this one so let’s way and see; hopefully collabs involving actual good music and more collabs with artists that don’t cater to the demographic of bubblegum pop music lovers; seriously enough is enough with the abysmal lyrics and the lack of good production on some of these collabs)

More solo albums (duh! and emphasis on the solo part; as much as I love a good feature or collab, there’s no good reason for those featured artists to be eating you up on your own song, much less album; features should add to the album, not make the album itself—especially when you’re a musician who aims to establish an individual identity and move away from the idea that you’re nothing without bts/without other people propping you up; next: jimin -> suga -> jungkook -> v ; in that order of album release is my guess)

More solo singles/EPs (the 94s; Namjoon has been hinting a lot at releasing new music, so likely an EP; I think Hoseok will also release another album before he enlists, if not an EP; I think they both have more options than other members since they’ve already officially debuted as soloists)

Subunit singles/EPs (once all of vocal line have released their solo albums, i can see BH trying to push for subunits; don’t expect full on albums with only 2 or 3 members on it, but I can definitely see a single or two or more happening; again likely with vocal line)

More OSTs (original soundtracks; again with vocal line)

More individual enlistments (they all technically have until early/mid 2024 to enlist if the tentative 2025 BTS reunion is supposed to happen, but once you taste the high life of individual freedom can you ever really go back to the mundane days of group work? Yoongi has until the end of 2023, Hoseok and Namjoon both have until the end of 2024, Jimin and Taehyung 2025, Jungkook 2027; I’m curious to see—to the absolute horror of armys—if anyone, especially maknae line, will put off their enlistment past 2024....I think Hybe was foolish to announce a “comeback” date; only doing so to calm investors and give themselves an additional 2 years to “ease their dependency on BTS” by bridging the profit gap between them and all their other groups; well if all else fails, i guess they’ll have the company stans to rely on)

or Paired enlistments (again? I really doubt a 2025 reunion will happen simply because a lot of things aren’t adding up at the moment, but if they enlist in pairs it may be a sure sign otherwise. It still makes me laugh how this time last year armys were so sure they’d be getting a bts world tour announcement only for it to be a hiatus + enlistment announcement instead. The signs of exhaustion from the members and lack of effort with the group in all aspects were way too obvious. I will never understand why fans keep deluding themselves. Seriously what group at the peak of success releases an anthology as an album? With only 3 new songs? And the purple warriors ate it right up. They could’ve at least put the demos on streaming platforms. Don’t even get me started on the 3 english songs that took over a year of “convincing” before the members agreed. Lmao my point is bts have never 100% been open about their plans, yet we all know they plan and settle things months in advance. Which means enlistment had likely already been decided on prior to the second leg of the ptd concerts. And yet, they showed no signs of it and acted like everything was swell. Even RM said the 2025 date was tentative; there’s also the Expo 2035 to consider, but after all those infrastructure problems, I’m pretty sure Busan won’t win the bid. People should accept that if the members want to keep doing their thing solo after 2025, then that’s okay. If they come back as a group, then that’s okay too. These days most of them seem happier and lighter being able to do their own thing without being tied down to the rigorous schedules that come with being “7”. So, why pressure them to do anything more as a group just to fulfill the selfish desires and needs of fans?)

Dating news ??? (this isn’t a big deal either and it’s none of our business but all it really takes is one member to open the floodgates of deranged hyperventilated tears; although it’d probably be in their best interests to continue to keep their personal lives private for that very obvious reason)

Grammys attendance (BTS has several nominations, but I doubt all 6 members will attend; j-hope’s Equal Sign was submitted for “Best Song for Social Change”; there’s been hints of a Pharrell collab involving RM; I doubt the Recording Academy will want to miss out on that BTS viewership clout so I expect at least one or two members to attend and maybe we’ll even get a performance from them)

Met Gala attendance !!!!!! (first comes FW....then comes....seriously, j-hope is just wow and this has to be said. I’ve seen the photos/videos from PFW and modeling/posing aside, not only does his entire aura change, but even his etiquette and mannerisms change depending on where he’s at and what he has on. It’s like the outfit and environment molds itself to him. It’s almost as if cameras were created for the sole purpose of capturing his presence. You know how Koreans have this thing of calling someone “Human [insert brand name here]” j-hope is like that but with every brand. As a longtime lover of fashion, it’s rare to see someone be able to digest every style so well. I can actually count on one hand the number of celebrities who are able to pull it off. He fits perfectly in everywhere he goes, and it’s no wonder why every show gave him the best seat in the house next to all their executives and other notable figures in the fashion industry. It’s amazing, not only do brands love him but so did all the photographers/journalists. He gives you something to write about just by simply existing. So it wouldn’t be a stretch to expect the star of this year’s Paris Fashion Week to finally make his Met Gala debut this May, right? Imagine j-hope attends, goes all out and does one of those behind the scenes ‘get ready with me’ videos with Vogue. Do you see the vision? He’s the only member who has a genuine passion for fashion, does his research, looks good in everything he wears, and isn’t just content with wearing whatever a stylist hands him. He’s also the only member who I’ve seen several designers go out of their way to praise. This year’s Met theme is super flexible too and I’m sure there’s lots of brands that would absolutely love to see j-hope ‘The MVP of Fashion Week’ dressed in their designs)

Hope On The Street Comeback (putting this out there just because there’s rumors that people saw him filming something dance related in Paris; what could it be? maybe for his YouTube channel? a MV? maybe LV ad campaigns or commercials of him dancing? one of the models danced at their recent show so i’m sure they’re open to incorporating more of that type of creative expression in their marketing; either way, if the rumors are true, then naturally we’ll find out soon enough because it’s j-hope)

Drama/Movie roles (lead, second lead, or guest appearances; I don’t think any of them will go this route until they’ve at least released a solo album because if they’re actually serious about their solo music careers, it’s much easier to take an established artist-turned-actor seriously, than it is to take an amateur actor-turned-artist seriously—especially in these fragile times of solo uncertainty for many)

Contract renewal announcement (their contracts expire in 2024?, but I don’t think all of them will renew with BigHit/Hybe; I doubt there’ll be any news on this until later this year at the earliest...although there may be leaks and speculation here and there; since solo activities are in full force—besides re-releasing BTS’s entire catalog as vinyls and repackaged special editions—I’m curious to know what other ways hybe plans to milk them during their hiatus in order to keep pumping that BTS money into their new groups and push a BTS successor. Gotta keep those investors happy, right? Hybe has always had a lot of internal issues with their staff and the way things are handled. Hybe has also spent the last two years promoting their plans to “reduce dependency on BTS”, and have been investing in any and every venture, to the point that their slogan “we believe in money” should be changed to “we believe in profit”. If you notice any positive deviations in the company’s usual behavior regarding how the members are being managed, then they’re likely trying to butter them up behind the scenes to get them to renew. I’m also curious about the current status of their contracts, and if any new conditions were added regarding their solo work; I feel like some may have already renewed but, again, I could be wrong; half the members have already sold a portion of their 1.2% in collective hybe shares; all it really takes is for one member to leave the company and I’m pretty sure at least half would follow suit; there’s power in solidarity)

That’s all that comes to mind for now. As for your second question (which member has been the most impressive in chapter 2) if it wasn’t already obvious, the answer is: j-hope. It’s only been 6 months, and between his solo debut, critically-acclaimed album, multiple iconic performances, being the star of Paris Fashion Week, documentary on the way. Who else is doing it like him? He’s been booked and busy since the group’s hiatus was announced, accomplishing all that in just 6 months. He set the bar high for himself and continues to raise it. 2022 was the year of HOPE and there’s no signs of him slowing down in 2023. He deserves all the recognition he’s getting because not only is he the most impressive, he’s also produced the most impressive results overall. Let’s put bias aside and face the facts because anyone who says otherwise is a l-i-a-r.

I’m sure the haters are gonna say “he only accomplished all those things because he was the first one to release his album”. Well, any of the other 6 could’ve released theirs first, yet here we are 6 months later where some of them still have nothing close to a finished album and are busy idling their time away. Any reason they give for not being in the studio working is an excuse. Not to mention j-hope was working on his solo debut and preparing solo performances while BTS was still active as a group, meanwhile others were what? Taking vacations? Partying? Playing video games? Not that there’s anything wrong with doing any of that. If you want to rest, then by all means rest, but don’t expect to be on the same level or have the same results as someone who consistently works hard like j-hope. Even with the group being inactive it was only j-hope showing up to every award show in the name of BTS (Jin enlisted, but what were the other 5 busy doing)? Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.

“Effort plays an important role in trying to stay where I am now. I will always try my best because efforts will never betray me.” — j-hope, 2018; “Efforts never betray you....All my efforts have never betrayed me....Looking back, the efforts I made didn’t betray me, in the end.” — j-hope, 2023

And “j-hope always has a plan”, so it’s only natural for him to never miss out on a golden opportunity to show the world who he is and what he’s capable of doing. It’s one thing to be talented, it’s another thing to have excellent work ethic, strong social skills, the confidence and charisma to pull off anything. Not to mention he’s always super genuine, humble and polite with everyone he meets—and we can’t forget that heart-shaped smile. These attributes go a long way and are invaluable especially when you work in industries as cutthroat as music or fashion where first impressions are always a make or break. That sort of discipline and awareness isn’t built overnight. I’ve seen some videos of j-hope’s PFW interactions (with executives, photographers, and just recently, his bodyguards) and it always makes me go: “wow I want to meet him, I want to talk to him, he seems like a really nice guy, he’s a natural model, he’s super good-looking, I can’t help but smile too”. So, imagine how all those people on the receiving end of his affections feel? Exactly. Hence why j-hope will continue to be invited into those exclusive spaces. His body language is always warm and inviting, he’s good at connecting with people from all walks of life. Even something as simple as a smile or wave is enough to make someone’s day and j-hope gets that. The more time passes, the more obvious it becomes that he’s the main reason BTS even lasted this long as a group. Other members don’t call him “갓이홉” (god j-hope) for nothing. **final side note: even the way j-hope reposted all those photos from local photographers on his IG story is so ¡wow! Lots of celebrities wouldn’t even bother. Not only is he giving them more exposure in such a competitive industry, he’s also letting them know how much he appreciates their work. And some of these photographers often run around FW for free in order to build up their portfolios. Now, you never know who could’ve watched his story, saw those photos he reposted, and offered them a job. It’s little things like that, that go a long way, because guess what? The next time he comes back to Paris the same photographers will be happy and ready to capture him on their cameras. In fact, notice how some of them posted even more photos of him after that repost? Exactly. j-hope should really teach a masterclass on networking and building connections; the first thing on the agenda? Making the best first impressions. The second thing? The subtle art of personal branding. Don’t try to give Bighit/Hybe any credit either because as we’ve seen from some lackluster solo activities and the incredibly botched debut solo album rollouts (especially j-hope’s and especially when compared to the debut of other groups under the same company), thus far, BH/H does not give enough fvcks about BTS as soloists to invest money into them individually. the same way they’re currently doing for their other groups; they might care for some members more than others so a sponsored opportunity or two may come in the realm of that possibility, but they definitely value “OT7” above all because that’s where they believe the money lies. Ultimately, how each member’s solo career will turn out relies heavily on their ambition, respective goals, personal initiative, the drive to want more and to be more in their own right. They may be at the top as a group, but as soloists they’re just getting started.

I wrote this post about a year ago, and it seems that Hoseok has finally given us an answer. He’s clearly in it for the long haul and plans to have a very long and very flourishing career in both music and fashion; chess, not checkers~

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