#new problem: they are very obviously platforms
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every day i grow closer to dazai cosplay.
#the main issue: i am 155cm.#most obvious solution: my platforms#the problem: they are only 18cm. dazai is not 173cm. SIGMA ISNT EVEN 173CM#solution!!!! those fucking. insoles you put in the shoes to make u taller#:tired_wojak:#how tall is 15zai.#ah well. 174cm. close enough#new problem: they are very obviously platforms#new solution!!! get new shoes. but like. more heel less platform.#problem. i already want those draculaura yru platforms. i can't get two pairs of shoes in a year.
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mr lover [ ben chilwell ]
— right where you left lover girl sequel, this takes place two years later!
[ 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 ] — ben chilwell x singer!reader . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ 🫂 °. *
[ 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗦 & 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 ] — romance, mentions pregnancy, google translated french . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ ℹ️ °. *
࣪˖ 💭 .. 𝗘𝗬𝗔’𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗦 ⌕ clearing my drafts again 😵💫 if you ask me, i’m obsessed with singer!reader fics lol
this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © httpsuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.
benchilwell
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benchilwell family time
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user am i reading this right ?? ‘family’ time ??
user his dog clinging to y/n is the cutest thing ever
user they’re such dog parents 😭
yourusername my babyyy my babyyy
benchilwell which one?
yourusername one of you will be in a lot of pain if i say who
benchilwell 🙄
yourusername
liked by benchilwell, masonmount, cmpulisic and others
yourusername look at me, i am the favourite hooman now.
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user not y/n quoting from captain phillips 😭
benchilwell once i get back home, i will take my title back
yourusername NONSENSE! you cannot dethrone the current favourite hooman
user y/n saying hooman instead of human 😭 that’s so dog momma of her
yourusername i birthed this child
benchilwell huh
yourusername huh
user pls he looks so comfy on y/n’s lap, he’s obviously not a lap dog
yourusername if he fits, he sits
user agreed 🤝
user why did all this time i thought y/n was a cat person
user she literally loves any kind of animal 😭 she adopted a ferret when she was a kid
yourusername omg !! mr fuzzy wuzzy was my childhood pet 🥹 maybe i should adopt another ferret
benchilwell what? no way
yourusername heheheheheheheeh
benchilwell
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benchilwell home is where the heart is.
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yourusername but god i love the english
benchilwell you know i love a london boy
yourusername 🫣🫣
user ben at this point, you really are the extra hooman
benchilwell i cant blame him
yourusername i told you i birthed this dog
benchilwell 😂
yourprivate
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yourprivate hehe oops
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mikaspriv what the fuck is this how i find out ?!?!?!!
yourprivate heheheheheheheeheh
mikaspriv IM PACKING MY BAGS AND HOPPING ON THE NEXT PLANE
benspriv little chilly 🔜
masonspriv i never wouldve known if i hadnt opened this account
reecespriv me too mate
christiansprivme three
jackspriv me four
benspriv me five
yourpriv what
benspriv what
yourusername and benchilwell
liked by masonmount, chelseafc, england, madders and 8,826,937 others
yourusername we’re getting him a human in a few months 🙈
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benchilwell babe i thought we already agreed what the caption will be
yourusername mines funnier
benchilwell 🙄
masonmount who thought that covering his eyes would be cute
yourusername mine. do you have any problem with that? 😀
masonmount i don’t maam, it’s a great idea, very very cute!
user this is the cutest announcement 😭
user as a fellow dog mummy, i approve of this post!
weratedogs 100/10 for being such a good boy and will be the goodest big brother!
user as a y/n fan since debut, i feel OLD (we’re the same age)
yourusername omg since debut album?!?!?! 😳 we have to meet like RIGHT NOW
user y/n went from writing how she’s stuck in the past, to loving herself and loving a new person 🥹 now she’s probably gonna write something about her baby ... just thinking about it rn makes me emotional
— ❤️ by yourusername
england congratulations benchilwell and yourusername! 🤍
chelseafc shall we make a onesie for baby chilwell?
yourusername omg YES PLEASE
benchilwell 🤦🏻♂️
yourusername JUST IMAGINE HOW CUTE OUR BABY WILL BE ON THAT ONESIE
benchilwell
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benchilwell eleanor chilwell is here 🩷👨🏻🍼 you did good mama, i’m proud and grateful to you, yourusername. i love you both
comments on this post have been limited.
yourusername thank you dada, we love you too 🩷
yourusername
liked by benchilwell, charles_leclerc and 3,826,929 others
yourusername the happiest i’ve ever been 🩷 merci pour tout mon benji. je t'aime toi et eleanor de tout mon coeur. (thank you for everything, my benji. i love you and eleanor with all my heart)
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benchilwell 🩷🩷
user several chapters missed but i’m glad to see you so happy y/n 🥹
user i was surprised when they announced she was pregnant, bit i was more surprised to know that they’re married now 😭
user the hand placements of ben 😭
user i’m so alone yall
user AAA y/n 🥺
user literally went from being dog parents to real parents 🥺🩷
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ─────────────────
yourusername and benchilwell
2,836,729 likes
yourusername darling, don’t you ever grow up... just stay this little. happy birthday my sweet eleanor🩷 mama (with the help of dada) wrote a song for you baby, me and dada loves you sooo much. never grow up out now ✨
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benchilwell growing up too fast, my ellie bear 🥲
user ellie bear... 😭 bens such a girl dad
user stopp im emo im not even a parent
user omg eleanor looks so cute!!
user milks expensive, im too young to be a mum
user my daily mantra every time i see ben or y/n post eleanor
user they have a little ballerina 🥺
user 4 years old already? 😭 time really flew by omg
yourusername i know right 🥺
user y/n and her happy ending 🥺 CURRENTLY TAKING A BATH WITH MY TOASTER RN
#ben chilwell fluff#ben chilwell imagine#ben chilwell x reader#ben chilwell#ben chilwell scenario#ben chilwell x you#ben chilwell x y/n#football imagine#football x y/n#football x you#football x reader#ben chilwell instagram au#football instagram au
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with this fanfiction. net scare and people having to make their fics on ao3 only viewable if you log in to stop ai bots scraping them it’s really got me thinking about how the shift on the internet right now is destroying the surface web communities
there’s always been private accounts and communities obviously that’s not new
BUT i think there is a lot of how online subcultures evolve and proliferate lost when people can’t anonymously lurk and observe before jumping in, where invite only discord servers obscure interactions, where having to add a profile just to access anything opens people up to scamming from copycat apps and intimidates out entire audiences, an internet of aggregate websites where people can’t be bothered making five million accounts so they follow repost accounts that take away another layer of interaction between fans
and some of these are problems of how platforms lean towards SEO and advertising and some of it is a case of ai bots ruining things for real people with their plagiarism making it sometimes frustrating and sometimes actively dangerous to post anything online
i hate having to log in/create a profile to access anything, i hate that the practice is bleeding into real world businesses like restaurants ect
i already have an ao3 account but both ao3 and tumblr were platforms i anonymously browsed for a couple months before signing up because it let me get a feel for the place and who to follow and how to post
the less on the surface net the harder it will be to archive content from places where people have lost access, all because tech people let their toys go unregulated and unrestrained into the wild world, there’s worse consequences of that but this is a very annoying one
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Some non lolitas need to learn to stfu when it comes to what is and isn't part of the fashion.
Lately I've seen an increase of publications about cutezy taobao brands fashion shows posted on Instagram and tiktok. Some fashion/resellers accounts sometimes wrongfully label it "lolita".
Obviously, some taobao brands make amazing clothing that perfectly fits the fashion, but others just make very cute pieces that aren't meant for lolita, and don't label it as such (or sometimes they do, but it's only for visibility, and honestly I don't mind it, fashion enthusiasts should do their own research and look for credible sources on what the fashion looks like, not blindly trust brands).
And every time, if someone says something along the lines of "this is very cute but not lolita" to try to stop the spread of misinformation on one of these fashion show reposts, it will result in a shitshow.
I've seen some people go about fighting mutuals who have more than a decade of wearing lolita on what the fashion looks like. When you take a look at these people's profiles, you quickly realize they have NEVER worn the fashion.
Lolita is more open that it ever was. Anyone interested in it can find so many resources on how to wear it, the bigger problem is now the selection of reliable sources in a sea of information. Also the fashion has become much more open about what is acceptable. Wearing no blouse in summer, showing knees, rachel lace, clashing textures in some contexts (old school), it used to be frowned upon but isn't anymore. I'm tired of the whole "boooo lolitas are mean elitists because they don't think my genshin impact inspired outfit with a miniskirt is lolita" that's going on on some platforms.
Lolita has a specific look to it, a silhouette, a history. Sure it can change, evolve, new trends can start within it, but it's not up to the non wearers to decide what this look is.
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You've encountered site changes over time as a fan elder, what do you make of Tumblr potentially being put out to pasture? Tumblr was my coming of age fan site, and im looking for advice to transition to the next thing with grace and less bitterness than I feel now.
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Ahaha. God, you should have heard the howling about LJ. "Fandom is over!" "Never again shall we dwell in fandom's True Home!" etc.
Hell, this endless "only LJ was good" crap turns up in replies here on posts where I as OP have very clearly laid out why that's rose colored glasses nonsense and you can so make friends on tumblr, have a conversation on tumblr, etc.
I had my crabby phase about this during the transition from Yahoo Groups to LJ. A lot of the real olds had it over paper zines and the transition to the internet.
I don't know if reading these hilariously samey old posts would help. It does give perspective, I think.
--
As for what you should do, do what I did with Tumblr:
1.
Look around to identify the Next Thing fandom is going to camp out on.
It may take a few guesses and some time to figure this out. You will likely not be an early adopter. Fandom was well established here by the time I joined at the end of 2010. Of course, by now, all those 2009 and before accounts are long gone, but at the time, I was a n00b joining other people's space despite having been in fandom for ages.
2.
Don't expect to enjoy it
I didn't join tumblr because I liked it. In fact, I despised it. I kept right on despising it until a brief stint in Sherlock fandom, a fandom that was so active here at the time that I was able to finally see the good aspects of the site's structure and features.
This is the mistake a lot of people make. They give things a cursory try, don't enjoy them, and go "not for me", forgetting that the last site also had a steep learning curve that was either difficult or that they didn't notice because they were in a different phase of their life.
Bitterness and grief are, frankly, an inherent part of the process. You can try not to be a debbie downer in your public comments, but you can't just not feel those things during the awkward part of the transition. Sometimes, acting positive and cutting off excessively negative thoughts can make you feel less negative overall, but it doesn't happen immediately.
3.
Accept that feeling cranky and old is both a you problem and a state of mind, not a property of the new site
Relatedly, the way we remember fandom platform X feeling usually has more to do with us being in college with fandom friends down the hall or having discovered Our People for the first time or some other time when we had a lot of energy and positive emotions. Often, we were in the throes of a first or new fandom love too, probably for some megafandom that other people also cared about at the same time.
When fandom is leaving some site, there's a grieving process anyway, but we're also often in a worse part of our lives for starting new things. We're busy. We're tired. We're between fandoms. We feel like we already paid our dues to build up our community. Why should we have to start again?
But let me tell you, you always need to start again eventually. I go to a weekly vidders' zoom chat, and a lot of the people in there are old as balls, including Kandy, the person who invented vidding back in the 70s. She's a lot of decades and a few cancers in, and she had to relearn how to vid on a computer after transitioning from slideshows to VCR vidding back in the day. If bad health, platform changes, and dead friends were going to stop her, she'd be long gone.
It's like sharks: you stop swimming, you die.
This isn't just about fandom, obviously. It's about avoiding a midlife crisis and, later, about avoiding feeling emotionally geriatric even when your body is falling apart.
Change gets us all, but being mentally old is a choice. The real reason I gave tumblr such a try was that I had been so resistant to getting on LJ. I was 20. Even a year later, it was fucking embarrassing to have been a crotchety old hag as a college student. I promised myself I'd soldier through the next change instead of dragging my feet about it. And it totally worked in the end! But boy did it not make the transition any less unpleasant emotionally!
4.
Find your joy
As is obvious from the above, the vast majority of the problem is just emotions. Fandom has been on a million broken sites with shitty features. We go where the people are, regardless of whether it has the technological aspects we liked at the last place. The actual shape of that platform is largely irrelevant.
What does matter is whether we as an individual fan are still excited and happy about something. I was between fandoms recently and went looking around for BL series I hadn't watched yet. People kept suggesting things set in the present day with too-cheesy production values and too many banal schoolboys in modern day settings without even anything spicy going on. I realized that the BL/danmei scene wasn't really cutting it for me and I should go for production values and genre and non-canon ships. You probably scrolled annoyedly past the picspams that resulted.
(Of course, hilariously, someone has now shown me the trailer of Red Peafowl, so someone may be making BL that feels like it's for me after all. Look at all that badwrong and very dark color grading.)
When you're in a good place emotionally, it's a hell of a lot easier to weather any change, and when you have a new fandom, it's a lot easier to connect with other fans.
A lot of people wait around for lightning to strike twice. They found their first fandom by accident, and they expect it to happen seamlessly again. For me, it's far more productive to brute force it: collect up a big list of what's popular or what's new and go through it till you find things you might like, then try them all.
And part of this, obviously, is not waiting for other fans to make the party happen. The more you need to join something other people are already doing, the less choice you'll have in fandoms or in platforms. If you aren't picky and just go where the tropey longfic is, that can work, but even then, favorite authors disappear or go to fandoms you hate and former megafandoms dry up. If you're the one bringing the party, it's a lot easier to find a new fandom or platform or community to have fun in.
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there’s some things i really wanted to talk about especially regarding my account and tumblr as a whole, so i decided to finally make this post as a way to sort of vent out my feelings on some things.
i’m not gonna lie, tumblr has become a very different place from what it was. i started creating content 3 years ago and it’s gone through so many changes (much expected). however, i don’t think tumblr has really changed for the better, especially when it comes to content creators. this used to be a really safe space for me to come on and create works for fandoms that i enjoyed, but recently, that safe space hasn’t felt, well, safe anymore. there is constant discourse everywhere on this platform and i’ve found that many people here are just extremely bitter? it’s almost like it’s become a mean girl center and it makes it difficult to interact with others.
obviously, this doesn’t go for everyone. i’m not trying to come at people specifically or cause issues, but i have seen my fair share of problems with people on here and some of it is just completely ridiculous.
next, i’d like to discuss the elephant in the room and that’s the lack of interaction/support to writers. it is just mind blowing to me that we as creators have to BEG our followers to reblog or even send us asks. obviously, some people are new to tumblr and don’t understand it’s algorithm, but there are people on here who just simply chose not to reblog for some reason?? it’s not only discouraging, but it puts less confidence in writers and then we aren’t motivated to create content. i’ve said this before, but there is no reason why a 2k note fic should have only 100 or so reblogs. likes mean nothing on this platform. it’s not Twitter. i genuinely have gotten so tired of repeating myself that i don’t even say it anymore because i know it won’t be acknowledged.
i understand people have lives, i do too, but it isn’t hard to send an ask to a writer about literally anything. i think the last time i had an anon ask was weeks ago and i genuinely get disappointed when i ask for interactions just to receive nothing? no one is obligated to speak with me or send me asks by any means, but a little “hey! how are you?” goes a long way. i probably sound ridiculous, but it’s just how i feel about the matter.
another thing that bothers me is when a writer doesn’t write smut or suggestive content, they hardly get any interaction. i’ve seen it myself before and i’m not sure why people just ignore greatly written fics?? i understand that smut is the main appeal. trust me, i 100% get it, but fluff writers hardly get any attention and some of the best fics i’ve read weren’t even smut related. i’m not saying every person here has to read fluff or angst fics by any means, but it makes me sad that people write these fics to hardly get any interaction because it isn’t smut content. the least y’all can do is reblog it.
to discuss my account, i honestly don’t really feel the most happy here. i don’t have as much motivation as i used to and i have contemplated removing my account, but i have some great fics i’d rather not have be deleted. i might start a new account for a fresh start, but i’m still not 100% on it.
and if you read this till the end, thank you! i probably sound like a whiny baby but i just wanted to express some of my feelings because it’s been weighing on me a lot recently.
#summer rants#uhhh#yeah!#lowkey needed to speak on this#also emmie thank u for being motivation for this#!!!!
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zoo wee mama, the new Hbomberguy video is a RIDE and it's absolutely relevant to everything going on in webcomics. let's talk about it.
youtube
I'm sure a lot of you have heard about this video going around already (it's gotten 2+ million views in just a little over 24 hours) but if you haven't, I highly recommend you set aside time to watch it yourself, I was surprised to see how much he had dug up especially regarding Youtubers that I never suspected were plagiarizing. He also says some very on-point stuff about how we view content creators and plagiarizing in this "do it yourself" industry that really resonated with me because it's stuff I've been saying for years in the webcomic sphere.
I won't spoil the video much because I think it's best experienced watching it for yourself (especially because he's putting all the money he earns off this video towards compensating the people who had their work plagiarized by one Youtuber in particular who's especially guilty... I'm not even gonna mince words, it's James Somerton) but this passage in particular just felt so validating to hear from someone who clearly holds themselves to the standards that more Youtubers - and creators in general - should be holding themselves to:
"I think a lot of people are inclined to protect creators they like on the grounds that plagiarism is a very academic-sounding problem, like something that happens in research papers or journalism, not something that you can do in a silly video made for entertainment purposes. Why are we holding Youtubers to standards? That would be like expecting accurate history from someone whose name has 'historian' in it! Because Youtubers often project a sense of being scrappy, do-it-yourself amateurs, it feels almost wrong to expect them to be professional... but a lot of them are professionals, regardless how authentic their persona may be. Youtubers are now among the most recognizable faces on the planet, and have become immensely wealthy doing this. Some are so influential we literally call them influencers. Maybe it's a good idea to have some standards for not stealing. Maybe." - Hbomberguy, "Plagiarism and You(tube)" timestamp: 3:35:32
Obviously this has nothing to directly do with webcomics but I do think it's something that reflects very similar behavior within the webcomic community that's, frankly, worth discussing. Many people justifiably want to make a living off their work, want webcomics as a whole to be taken more seriously in the mainstream next to traditional publishing, and for webcomic creators to be taken more seriously as professionals.
But at the same time, I still see a lot of infantilizing of the people in this industry, done by both their fans and the people within it, the idea that being a professional (noun) isn't mutually inclusive of being professional (adjective). It's how we've gotten creators in the past like Snailords, mongie, and yes, Rachel Smythe, who are often shielded by their fanbase on the basis of, "they're just indie comic creators doing what they love, leave them alone!" when they're very much not that, at least not anymore. At least two of those three creators have TV deals (though whether or not they'll make it to the screen is debatable), and all three of them have or have had Webtoons seemingly wrapped around their finger more so than any other creator (though mongie has argued she left Webtoons over unfair treatment, it really doesn't seem like that to the people who know how much mongie was intentionally pushing the rules of what she was allowed to post on the platform, particularly with her Sam x Charles smut).
They are not 'indie creators' anymore and they are not exempt from criticism just because their younger fanbase mistakenly assumes them to be the same age as them. Rachel, mongie, and Snailords are all in their mid-to-late 30's. They all have merchandising deals and either have TV deals or want to have TV deals. They've all been given priority advertising by Webtoons even at the cost of undercutting all the other creators and series on the platform that need it more. They are not "scrappy" creators, they're contractual professionals now and they all do not act like it. Whether it's reacting poorly to criticism or using their characters as a mouthpiece for their own egos or even just using their comics as a poorly disguised fetish, they're all contractual professionals who do not act professional. And they're not the only webcomic creators who do this.
And again, I've talked about this before on here and in the discussions on reddit concerning LO and other webtoons, so it's incredibly validating and refreshing to see Hbomberguy put those feelings into words (albeit about Youtubers, but let's be real, Webtoons is definitely trying to be the "Youtube of webcomics", as is Tapas and other competing webtoon platforms) because that sentiment rings true for a lot of the webtoon creators who have practically failed upwards and only forgo their advertised "professional status" when they're under fire for their actions and writing. Rachel is an "award winning creator" and "self-proclaimed folklorist" until her comic is criticized for its blatant misrepresentation and disrespect towards an entire culture, then all of a sudden "it's just fanfiction". Mongie is the creator of the bestselling series Let's Play until she's called out for racist depictions of Asians and Hispanic people in her work, then all of a sudden she's "just trying to make a fun comic" that's not meant to be taken that seriously. And of course, their audience of teens and young adults who don't know any better keep forgiving them and vehemently defending them because they wrongfully assume that these creators are scrappy teens just like themselves who just started making webcomics for fun and then achieved fame and glory overnight (which they're not!)
We should be having bigger discussions about what awaits the webcomic and "content creator" industry as a whole in the future and what standards we should be holding creators and their work to. We can't possibly expect these mediums to be taken seriously as a professional industry if we don't set better expectations for the quality of the work that's being created and the creators who are building these platforms for themselves.
"In current discourse, Youtubers simultaneously present as the forefront of a new medium, creative voices that need to be taken seriously as part of the 'next generation of media'... and also 'uwu smol beans little babies who shouldn't be taken seriously when they rip someone off and make tens of thousands of dollars doing it." - Hbomberguy, "Plagiarism and You(tube)" timestamp: 3:36:18
#hbomberguy#webtoon critical#anti lore olympus#lore olympus critical#lo critical#let's play critical#Youtube
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SMALL BUT FEISTY - caitlin clark x reader
It’s my first time writing again after a couple years of a hiatus, but i’m back in my caitlin clark obsession (i never left it 🤫), but bare with me cause it might be a little rocky writing. If there’s any spelling errors that make the story confusing let me know !
──────────────────────
Your relationship with Caitlin had started back when you were in Dowling Catholic with each other. You had been the new kid from Michigan, and Caitlin had taken a interest from you since the first day of your guy’s Sophomore year.
Caitlin had figured out very quickly that despite your height that you were quite feisty. Instead of being on the basketball team, you had played for Dowling’s soccer team as a CAM. Often you could be seen either arguing with the ref’s about another player not being carded for a foul, or a yellow card you had received.
Other times it was a player from another team, there was one time that the argument had turned physical leading to you being sent off the field with a red. The point being you had a problem with running your mouth (even though it was mostly justified).
Even though you had problems with arguing, your skills had managed to earn you a spot in the USWNT national camps before the 2019 World Cup, Jill had been very impressed with you and how you played that she had put you on the World cup roster. Managing to open the scoring for the United States during the group stage, with also managing to score the final goal against the Netherlands.
When you had won the World Cup, your initial thought wasn’t falling down on the ground in proud tears or celebrating with your team. You had B lined right toward the friends and family section where Caitlin, her family, and some of your family sat. Like a complete maniac you had jumped over a couple of barriers, before pulling yourself into the stands to kiss Caitlin in front of the world.
From then on your name had blown up all over social media platforms, and deals from all sorts of sponsors had flooded in. The picture of you on your tip toes in a passionate kiss with Caitlin had broken the internet for months (it was also in a small frame that you would end up taking with you to college.)
When decision day rolled around you had a few choices, University of Iowa (where you could be with Caitlin), University of Michigan, UCLA, Stanford, UW Madison, Purdue, or Rutgers. Obviously after seeing Caitlin’s choice, you had committed to Iowa.
So that’s how you found yourself in today’s situation. Facing off with UW Madison, a day that you hadn’t been looking forward too. With the Badgers knowing exactly how to get you to lose your cool, and the fact that not only was Caitlin in the stands but Monika and Kate were too.
“She does not look happy..” Monika mumbled, as she watched you get off the ground for what seemed like the hundredth time today.
“It’s not even halftime and she’s been on the ground more times than she’s had the ball.” Kate added, as she glanced over at your girlfriend.
Caitlin had been getting fed up herself with the Wisconsin players, every time she saw you go down she noted that it was starting to take a little longer for you to get back up again. Her hands running through her hair, as she watched you trying to keep your cool.
“They know how dangerous she is when the ball is at her feet, but I don’t know how much longer she can take this.” Caitlin told them, worry slipping into her voice. She knew when it came to Wisconsin that a potential red card could be coming your way, and no matter how hot you looked when mad, she worried about how far people would push you to your snapping point.
“Only a few more minutes before half time, Cait. After that it’ll be a home stretch.” Kate tried reassuring, as she reached over Monika to give Caitlin’s a reassuring squeeze to her hand.
“Hey Y/L/N !” Liv Curry yelled to you, as she came towards you. “I thought you were supposed to be some next big thing, but I guess your just another washout.” She told you, knowing exactly how you could doubt yourself.
“Why don’t you kiss my ass, Curry.” You growled, as you pushed her away from you. “Oh you got to be fucking kidding me..” You mumbled, as you saw the ref come towards you and holding a yellow above his head. “Yeah, I see. You keep booking us but not them.. sell out.” You mumbled bitterly.
“What was that?” The ref asked, as he turned back towards you with a slight glare.
“Nothing.” You told him through gritted teeth.
“This isn’t going to end well..” Caitlin sighed, as she watched your team and the Wisconsin team walk back to the locker rooms for halftime.
“What’s their problem with our superstar anyways?” Monika asked, as she turned her head towards Caitlin.
“Jealously for some, others just go at her because once my girlfriend gets the ball at her feet she’ll send it into the back of their net.” Caitlin replied, as she turned her head to look at her friends. She was so happy that her best friends treated you so well, and that they saw you as their own as well.
“I wouldn’t be surprised that the Wisconsin coach put a little money into the ref’s pocket for the lack of fouls and cards called.” Kate sighed, as she glared at the ref’s talking in the middle of the field. If she could she would’ve stormed down there to give them a piece of her mind.
“It’s not going to take much more of them pushing her before she gets herself sent off.” Caitlin told them, as she played with the chain around her neck.
“Caitlin!” You called, as you were jumping up to catch her attention. And when you did, you waved her to come down to talk to you for a few moments. Once she was looking down at you at the barrier, you jumped up to pull yourself up so you could be somewhat eye level.
“Shouldn’t you be in your locker room?” Caitlin questioned, as she tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear.
“Coach D let me come talk to you for a few minutes, said that if it helped me that it would be worth me missing out of some of the locker time.” You admitted, a slight bitterness filled you as you thought about the Wisconsin team.
“Speaking of helping.” Caitlin raised a brow slightly, before pulling you up over the barrier so you were in the stands with her. “What can I do to help ease that frustration?” She asked sincerely, as she held one of your hands while rubbing small circles over your knuckles.
“Help me murder them after the game?” You asked, mostly joking.
“I can’t believe i’m saying this, but don’t focus on the bogus stuff. Just worry about putting that ball in the back of the net.” Caitlin told you, ignoring the way your eyes gave away that you were somewhat serious about murdering the Wisconsin girls.
“Who are you and what have you done to my girlfriend?” You mumbled, before leaning your forehead into her chest.
Caitlin chuckled softly, wrapping a arm around your waist while the other rubbed your back slightly. “I’m proud of you.” She whispered, before pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.
“I love you.” You mumbled, feeling somewhat better with the comfort Caitlin brought you. But you knew once the game was done and you were back in Caitlin’s arms that everything would be okay again.
“I love you too, baby.” Caitlin told you sincerely, as she pried you from her chest so you would look at her. “So so much. I love you more than you know.” She admitted, before moving to lean in to kiss you before being interrupted by one of your teammates.
“Sorry to interrupt.” Samantha told you both, before giving a kind smile. “But, it’s time for the line up again.” She told you, before jumping down and walking back to the tunnel.
“That’s my cue.” You mumbled, before leaning up to press a kiss to Caitlin’s cheek. “Kate. Monika.” You gave them a small smile, before jumping down from the stands and moved towards the line up.
Everything had gotten messier in the second half. More tackles were made not only against you but now the rest of the midfield were receiving the most of the ground. The refs had called a few fouls against Wisconsin this time, but they mainly called it against your team.
Your blood was basically boiling, just waiting for the right thing for the kettle to set off. The anger had only pushed you into scoring a hat trick, leading the team into a lead of one point.
It’s when the 85th minute hit is when you had snapped. Curry had made a comment about how you didn’t deserve Caitlin and then proceeded to almost take your ankle out in a bad tackle.
“What the fuck, Curry!?” You yelled, as you got up on your feet. “You could’ve almost ended my season!” You growled, as you came up to her.
“You should’ve been watching yourself.” Liv told you with a small smirk on her lips. “But then again Y/N you don’t really matter in this world.”
One minute you had been listening to Liv’s words, the next you found yourself punching her straight in the nose. Liv had taken a few steps back, before punching you straight in face. The two of you had basically charged each other, taking each other to the ground throwing punches at the other. The Wisconsin girls had been quick to try and come to Liv’s aid, but hell even some of them got into it with your team.
It was about another five minutes of both teams trying to break up the fight, when Samantha had managed to pull you off of Liv and away from the Wisconsin players. Once the Badgers had seen that the main source of danger had been taken away the fighting had died down.
The main ref had showed a red card to Liv, and then turned to you before holding up a immediately red to eject from the game. Along with holding yellows to a few members of both teams.
Kate and Monika basically had to hold Caitlin back from getting onto the field to run to you during the fight, both of them surprisingly struggling to stop your girlfriend. Once you had been taken off the field and to medical, they had let her go so that she could go find you.
After a good ten minutes of searching she had found you sitting on one the physio’s tables with a ice pack to your lip and nose that was clearly broken.
She moved to stand in between your legs, so that she could look you over herself. A hand brushing the messy pieces of hair out of your face.
“You scared me back there.” She admitted, as she placed a hand against your cheek gently. “Watching you get hit by Liv and those other players really scared me, Y/N.”
“I’m sorry..” You mumbled, as you looked down at the floor.
“I know, sweetheart.” She reassured, before putting her hand under your chin to make you look at her. “But, I know that it wasn’t your fault. I still love you, Y/N. Nothing will ever change that, Okay?” Caitlin raised a brow slightly, keeping her hand under your chin.
You nodded your head, as you kept your eyes on hers. Your face contorted slightly as a small wave of pain hit you.
“What’s wrong? Am I hurting you?” Caitlin asked worriedly, as she retracted her hand.
You shook your head slightly, before moving the ice pack away from your face. “I have a minor concussion.” You admitted, before leaning your head against her chest.
“What am I going to do with you?” Caitlin chuckled softly, as one of her arms wrapped around you while the other held the ice pack to your face.
“Take me home and cuddle with me?” You mumbled, a slight pout on your lips as you pulled away to look at her.
“Whatever you want, babe.” Caitlin chuckled softly, before kissing your lips. She pulled away from you, before turning so her back was towards you. “Hop on, Princess.”
“Yes ma’am.” You said teasingly, as you got onto her back.
“Ready?” She asked you, as she held onto your legs.
“Ready.” You nodded, before ducking your head as Caitlin carried you out of the physio room and out of the stadium.
“Look who it is!” Monika laughed softly, as they watched Caitlin carry you out.
“Damn Y/N, they got you good.” Kate told you, as she stood in front of you and Caitlin.
“You should see the other girl.” You grinned at her, despite your busted lip.
“We put your bags in the car.” Monika told you, before pointing towards Caitlin’s car. “Samantha brought it to us while Caitlin went to go get you.”
“Thanks guys.” You nodded, a small smile on your lips.
“I gotta get this one home, concussion and all.” Caitlin laughed softly, before beginning to walk towards the car with you still on her back.
“We’ll see you guys later!” The two called out, before walking to their own cars to leave.
Once both of you were settled in the car, Caitlin had started the journey back to your shared place. The car ride had been pretty much silent, seeing as you had fallen asleep pretty quickly in the passenger seat exhausted from the match and the fight. When the car was parked in the parking lot, Caitlin had left yours bags in the car and carried you inside bridal style.
You groaned lightly as you felt yourself being placed in bed, your eyes slowly fluttering open. “Baby?” You mumbled, as you reached out towards her.
“It’s okay.” She reassured, as she came back into view with some clothes in her hands. “Let’s get you into something more comfortable, yeah?” Her tone was more of her telling you than asking, and you had zero energy to argue with her.
You slowly lifted yourself up and with her help you had been able to change into one of Caitlin’s shirts and a pair of shorts.
“I’ll be right back, baby. I’m gonna go change into something more comfortable.” She pressed a kiss to her your forehead gently, before walking away to get changed.
You were about to whine that she was taking to long, but then you felt a dip in the bed and Caitlin wrapping arm around you so she could pull you into her. One of your hands moved to interlock with her hand that was wrapped around you.
“You’ll take care of me right?” You mumbled sleepily, as you glanced over your shoulder at her.
“Of course I will, whatever you need i’ll get it for you.” Caitlin told you honestly, as she rubbed your back with her free hand.
“Just hold me for right now?” You asked, as you felt your eyes fighting to stay open.
“Whatever you want, baby.” She told you, before pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “Get some sleep, baby, i’ll wake you up when it’s time.”
“I love you.” You mumbled softly.
“I love you too.” She told you, watching as you fell asleep in her arms.
Caitlin had done what she had said. She was there for you every moment, when you were startled awake before rushing to the bathroom, Caitlin had sat with you holding your hair as she rubbed soothing circles on your back. When you asked for something to eat, she had left to go make you something that you could keep down. She made sure to wake you up at the intervals, before making small talk to keep you up before letting you fall asleep again. Despite getting little sleep herself, she didn’t mind it at all. You were her everything, and she would always take care of you.
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Self Care Natasha One-Shot
Request: " Nat is feeling achy after a mission and uses some fancy Shield tech to clone herself and give herself a back massage. It would get smutty from there"
~~
Natasha Masterlist Main Masterlist
Paring: Natasha Romanoff x Herself
Words: 2k
Request? Yes/ No
Warnings: Smut, selfcest I guess?
Summary: Exhausted after a mission, Nat does what she has to do to release some stress
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To say Nat was exhausted would be an understatement. The mission wasn’t that much harder than usual but it took more days than she’d been expecting it to and by the time she was done and on the way home her body was sore in more ways than one.
The uncomfortable quinjet seats weren’t helping either. She was going to yell at Tony as soon as the tension in her back eased up. Stretching her arms above her head, she groaned at the knots she could feel digging into her shoulders.
At this point, a warm shower wouldn’t even be enough. There had to be something she could do to ease the aching in her spine or the other Avengers were going to be dealing with a very frustrated Nat for the rest of the week.
As soon as the quinjet landed Nat was making her way to her room, eager to find a solution and avoid any trainees who wanted to talk to her. S.H.I.E.L.D. Needed to evaluate their training if newer recruits kept leaving training to come fangirl of her and her other Avengers.
The thought stops her in her tracks. She remembers hearing something about a new training assist gadget Tony helped invent to help the recruit train. Something about cloning them so that they could fight themselves and see where they went wrong and how to improve. She’d never really paid any attention to it when it was brought up but now it might be of use to her.
Changing her course, Nat heads straight for the tech room. The doors slide open easily for her considering her full access to every single room. She sifts through the piles of papers filled with various weapon ideas until she finds the one she’s looking for.
The T.T.A.C. or the Tactical Training Assist Cloner. She rolls her eyes. Obviously, Shield named this weapon, Tony would have come up with something less practical.
She finds the weapon code and types it into the keypad on the back wall, watching as the wall spins past a few other weapons before landing on the T.T.A.C.
It’s smaller than she imagined. There’s a small handheld gadget with a needle on the end and a small round mechanical disk with a button next to it. She grabs both items and the paper with the weapon info and takes them both back to her room.
She doesn’t bother telling anyone or leaving a note, she knows the cameras will see that she took it and she doesn’t plan on using it for long. If anyone had a problem they could take it up with her.
Once inside of her room, she reads the instructions carefully before following them, groaning as she places the metal disk on the floor. She hoped this worked, she needed some instant relief.
She places the disk on the floor and presses the button, stepping back as the disk opens up and transforms into a small raised platform, big enough for one person to stand on.
Next, she pricks her finger with the needle thing and lets the blood drop onto the raised platform. Immediately it begins to glow a light blue and various mechanical sounds are filling up her room as the platform analyzes her DNA.
She doesn’t bother to understand how it works, if she did she’d probably get a headache but she can’t hide her surprise when a minute later an exact clone of her takes shape on the platform. It’s in a standard Shield training uniform and she realizes that must have been programmed in.
The clone just stands there staring blankly, according to the instructions it would remain docile until given instructions. Nat, however, would not be using it for training. It was time to test how well this thing listened and how much of a clone it really was.
“Clone, register command”
The clone locks eyes with Nat and stands a little straighter, waiting for a command. She resists the urge to shiver, it’s a little eerie but she wasn’t about to complain if it was going to do her a favor.
“I need a massage so that I can be ready to get back into the field as soon as possible, can you do that?” She doesn’t know why she feels the need to justify her actions. Maybe it was something about talking to herself.
The clone gives a small nod and she realizes they must not have the ability to speak yet. She supposed they don’t need to speak when they’re only built for physical training but it’s something for them to look into later.
“Do you know what to do?” The clone gives another short nod and Nat removes her shirt so that she’s just in her sports bra. If this clone was really her, hopefully, it would know all the spots she needed to ease the most tension.
She lies down on her bed on her stomach, moving a pillow under her chin so she’s more comfortable. Her gaze drifts behind her when she hears shuffling and she keeps her eyes glued to her clone as it climbs onto the bed and settles onto her thighs. The pressure is light and for a second she’s worried this will be too soft of a massage but she realizes if they can throw punches in training they can probably give decent massages.
Her head settles back onto the pillow and she closes her eyes the second the hands begin digging into her back. The pressure is incredible and the clone is hitting all the exact spots she was aching in.
The clone presses its hands deeper into her shoulders and she releases a sigh as the pressure gets kneaded out. If she had known it was going to feel this good she would have done this sooner.
She resists the urge to moan as the clone hits a particularly deep knot in her back. Perhaps she could be in for more than just a back massage. The rest of her body could use the release.
Something about the feeling of her own hands digging into her feels uniquely intimate and the deeper they dig into her the more she feels herself getting turned on.
She’d been so busy on the mission and spending the weeks before that preparing that she hadn’t had the time to relieve some of her stress. Only now was she realizing just how wound up the coil in her body felt
Without her even asking, the clone begins massaging its way down the rest of her body once her back is done. The rough fingers digging into her thighs do nothing to stop the growing heat between her legs.
She’d never thought about this situation before but now that she was here… who would know her body better than herself? All the best spots, all the things that made her come undone.
Feeling herself clench at the idea she decides there’s no harm in it if it helps her relieve some stress. Plus she would be helping the system learn how to read body language better.
Turning herself over, she watches as the clone quickly adapts, massaging up and down her calves and feet. She almost doesn’t want to tell it to stop but the idea of a better release spurs her on.
“Register command” The clone stops its actions and finds her eyes once more. There’s a heady look in its gaze and she wonders if it’s copying her facial expression or just reacting to the situation.
Slowly, Nat slides her hand down her chest, Stopping at her nipples to roll them between her fingers. She throws her head back at the sensation but her eyes stay on the clone whose gaze remains locked on her. The sight of herself just watching turns her on even more and has her hand traveling further down her body.
She slips her pants off her legs as the clone hovers over her.
Sliding her hand between her thighs she lets her fingers drift between her folds, working their way up and down through the wetness that had already begun to form. She noticed the way the clone's eyes drifted down to what was happening between her thighs, despite the fact that the clone was supposed to stay stoic and stare at her until a command was received. Interesting.
Eager to test her own skills, Nat stops her ministrations and gives control over to the clone. She doesn’t bother stating a command, wanting to see if it will act on its own.
The clone reacts immediately, placing its hand over Nat’s unmoving fingers. Instead of moving Nat’s hand out of the way, however, they begin moving Nat’s hand for her, repeating her earlier actions of dragging her fingers through her folds.
They continue at an agonizingly slow pace, trying to draw out and prolong her release. It’s something Nat had done to herself a few nights when she had the time. Trying to savor the feeling of pleasure for as long as she could.
Eventually, the clone drags Nat’s hand to her clit and languidly circles the bud. Shutting her eyes, Nat moans at the feeling, letting the clone set an even pace as it uses her own hand to pleasure her.
She can already feel the pressure building in her core, however, and she’s desperate for more than what the clone is giving her. She knows her body best so why wasn’t the clone doing more? It’s then she realizes that the clone wasn’t touching her on its own because it hadn’t been permitted to.
“Touch me” Green eyes snap to meet hers and the clone doesn’t bother nodding to confirm it received the command. Instead, it pushes away her own hands from her heat and replaces them with its own. The hands feel the same, if only a little colder, and the clone wastes no time in touching Nat.
One hand crawls up Nat’s abdomen until she reaches her nipple, rolling it between their fingers. The other decides she’s wet enough for more and slides a finger into her heat, slowly pumping it in and out and watching Nat’s face for a reaction.
Nat throws her head back, moaning in pleasure. This is what she was looking for. This was exactly what she would be doing by herself but now she had the chance to relax and let herself be taken care of.
The clone starts pumping faster, adding another finger when she was ready and moving the hand from Nat’s breast down to her clit, rubbing swift circles as Nat continues to moan.
Nat can already feel the coil of her release begin to wind up. Her clone reaching her g spot with every thrust of their fingers. She brings her own hands up to her breast, massaging them as she watches her clone lean down towards her core.
Before she can process it, she’s moaning at the feeling of their tongue lapping at her folds. The long wet strokes mixed with the rapid pace of their fingers have her on the edge of her orgasm already. And when the clone moves to suck on her clit she covers her face as her body spasms in pleasure. The clone slows their movements but doesn’t stop, letting her ride out her orgasm until she finally bats their hand away.
She lays on her bed with her arm over her eyes as she processes what just happened. She was right in her thought that her clone would know the ins and outs of all of her body's pleasure. When she finally removes her arm she sees the clone staring at her with the same heady look as before. These things must be programmed with infinite stamina.
The thought leaves a smirk on her face. It wouldn't hurt to borrow this thing for a couple more hours
A/n: I hope I made this the way you imagined- it's my first time writing smut! ~ Starry
#marvel#fanfiction#fanfic#marvel fanfic#marvel fanfiction#fluff#women of marvel#fluff fic#natasha romanoff#natasha fanfic#natasha smut#natasha romanoff smut#black widow smut#natasha romanoff imagine#natasha romanoff oneshot#smut#selfcest
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Why I think the way the final episode of The Sign was distributed is wrong, offensive and unfair to fans. And how disappointing I am with this approach, because I sincerely supported Idol Factory and Saint.
Personally, I pay for Gaga, Viki and IQIYI, plus a VPN to watch shows that are not available in my country (like Pit Babe), which, you know, I already paid for 🙄 Additionally, I pay for Netflix, I have combined subscriptions with other people for Disney, HBO, Skyshowtime, Prime, last year we paid for Apple to watch Silo and Severance (I recommend both series btw 👌).
I also don't mind paying one-time for a film on the platform, which is how I recently watched Oppenheimer.
Money is not an issue (<- lol), apart from the fact that I support myself and I have to work, and I have to carefully manage my budget in order to feed myself and my cat, clothe myself, pay my bills, and my loss of job will mean obviously giving up access to all these media.
I say that money is not a problem in the sense that I WILL SPEND MONEY on something I like. I will save, I will give up something else, but I will spend this money on stuff I love.
The Sign has chosen a certain distribution method for international fans. They chose YouTube and chose a set airing hour.
They could have chosen to distribute only in Thailand like Cherry Magic, or they could have chosen any other platform with paid subscriptions.
But they chose YouTube.
And they released 11 episodes for free and at a set time.
And now they CHOSE to make the last ep paid and to create a complete chaos related to the distribution of the finale, because I honestly don't know at this point whether it is paid or not, what is paid and what is not, whether it is on Saturday or Sunday or it's for a ticket or for free on channel3 and apparently they have two endings????, which is always an alarming sign for me, because it's very Game of Thrones/Marvel style shit.
Besides, people have their own lives, their obligations, their schedules. Sometimes you just can't get around certain things and you can't watch a series in the available time, no matter how much you want.
Secondly, releasing a product for free in order to limit access to it in the final phase is the worst manifestation of toxic capitalism. This is preying on the desperation and devotion of fans.
The third thing is the selection of viewers into those who can afford it, have the time, have the resources and those who do not. And yes, sometimes even just $15 of an unexpected expense makes a huge difference in a person's budget. It's telling some of the fans that you are VIP and can sit in the front row, and the rest of the peasants should wait outside for two weeks 😄
tl;dr personally I want and can pay for: 1) the entire series on a legal platform 2) ADDITIONAL things, like specials, fan stuff, etc. I consider paying for access to the series finale, which until now was free, immoral.
But tbh I really have no idea what's going on, I go with the flow 🤡Whenever I check The Sign tag, I read more and more new information related to the possibility of watching the finale, and it's different every day.
And if it turns out that the cut version of the series will be available for free on Channel 3, and the uncut version with subs will be available tomorrow with a ticket, it will be the funniest thing ever. Because that would mean that people paid $15 to watch, I don't know what, a sex scene? 😄
Idk, guys, instead of enjoying the finale, people are wondering how to watch it at all. And if IF starts doing this, won't others follow suit? 11 episodes for free, oh you want to watch the finale, well you have to pay or wait and dodge the spoilers 😈
And one last thing for potential defenders of this system, like "what's your problem, it will be available in 2 weeks, just wait": so you accept that not ALL fans will have a chance to experience the final ep together, which is the basis of the fan community? That some fans will experience and analyze the episodes this weekend, and the rest will wait?
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I have now finally seen the Mario movie. It was Pretty Good. Here are my wordy thoughts on it. (I am going to spoil the entire movie. Duh.)
In many ways, the Mario movie does what I wish the first Sonic movie had done. They just took the characters and the premise and the world from the games, and made it a straightforward animated adventure movie. It's bright and colorful and remixes things JUST enough to include fun elements from multiple games, and it doesn't make Mario get adopted by James Marsden or whatever. It even has the music!
That's all you really need, right? Right...?
I'll get this out of the way up front. Chris Pratt was fine. He's fine
If anything, it really feels like they did the movie a disservice by letting us hear so little of the Mario voice in the previews. It took one scene for Pratt to disappear into the role for me. It was totally fine. If anything, I found Charlie Day's normal voice coming out of Luigi WAY more distracting, even if I did like him in the role.
Everyone else was pretty good, for the most part. Jack Black was obviously very good as Bowser, but I'm biased. Seth Rogen does the Seth Rogen laughs as Donkey Kong, but I thought DK was fun, too. (I liked his little rivalry with Mario where he was just constantly giving him shit.) The only casting choice I truly hated was Fred Armisen as Cranky Kong. I hated every line that came out of his mouth. He sounds atrocious. Just the worst. I swear to fucking god if they do a DKC movie and we have to hear him for 90 minutes
I did think Peach was lacking, but that was on the script, not Anya Taylor-Joy's performance. It's cool to see Peach fight, but it's one of those all too common instances where the writers put so much effort into making the main girl kick ass and be an effortlessly confident girlboss that they forgot to give her an actual personality. Not that I'd point to Super Princess Peach and its mood swing superpowers as positive representation or anything, but there's a happy middle ground, surely. Shrek was 22 years ago, just having the princess do flying kung fu kicks isn't enough.
Okay. With the voices out of the way, let's talk about the big picture:
It's way better than the words "Illumination Mario movie" implied, and I mostly enjoyed my time with it. The spirit of Mario is there 100%. But I'd also describe it as "ruthlessly efficient."
This was perhaps the main complaint critics had, and they were absolutely right. People have responded to these totally average reviews with "Well, what did you expect? Shakespeare?! It's MARIO!!" Like, yes, I would prefer it if the movie I paid to see had writing that was good instead of bad. What a shocker. My issue isn't that it's not "high-brow" enough. The problem is that it feels mercenary. It feels like an editor went through and deleted almost every line of dialogue that isn't some form of exposition, at the expense of the pacing. Any scene that's not a montage or some sort of action is kept as short as they could make it, with barely any room for embellishment, character interaction, or anything other than the bare minimum word count to hit all the typical Save the Cat Hollywood screenwriting 101 story beats to the letter. There aren't even as many jokes as you might think (and the ones that are there are extremely hit or miss, including a lot of the slapstick with Mario himself).
Mario and Peach's little arc together in the front half of the film is probably the worst example of this pacing. Even having read reviews that complained about how fast Peach goes from meeting Mario (by her admission the first other human she's ever met) to deciding to train him as the new savior of the Mushroom Kingdom, I was SHOCKED at how fast it was. They don't even lampshade it.
Peach takes Mario straight into the big training sequence where he learns how to use mushrooms and jump over platforming obstacles. Peach is apparently already a hypercompetent platforming pro and a great fighter, so there's no clear reason why she's taking the time to train this random guy to be half as good as her when the world is in danger. Then they set off on their adventure, Toad joins them, and we get a VERY brief travel montage. It's about thirty seconds total - just long enough to give Peach a line about how she wants to protect this beautiful world of hers to try and give her some stakes. We get the genre-mandated nighttime campfire heart to heart, which is exactly long enough to have Mario say he misses Luigi and to have Peach give the two sentence summary of her origin story and not a second longer. Then they reach the Kongs, and their big journey is complete. (They barely interact for the rest of the movie.) So much of the movie is like this - always ready to get on to the next scene as soon as a new one starts.
I'm not criticizing the script because I expect The Super Mario Bros. Movie to be a prestige drama - although there are certainly halfhearted attempts at a dramatic arc. The stuff with Mario's family was a fun enough idea, but again, ruthless efficiency. We get one quick scene with them at the start to give Mario some pathos, because I guess Save the Cat said he's gotta have some pathos. And then Mario gets his dad's approval amidst the action of the final battle in Brooklyn to resolve his arc, just so the movie can end as quickly as possible once Bowser is defeated. (Despite now having the approval of their family and their community back in Brooklyn, Mario and Luigi move to the Mushroom Kingdom off-screen without a single word dedicated to this decision, because that's where they live in the games.)
Look. I am not comparing it to The Godfather. Don't give me that shit. I am not asking for an extra half hour to explore Mario and Luigi's childhood trauma. I am not asking for the complex inner workings of the Mushroom Kingdom monarchy. I know this is gonna be a basic Hero's Journey adventure for kids. It just feels like it's turning down so many opportunities to have a little fun with the characters, to let them interact and play off of each other, to let there be some adventure on this adventure. This is the first time we've gotten to see these characters interact with fully voiced dialogue in a very, very long time! "Yeah, it's not High Art, but it's FUN!" Stories are fun! Character interactions are fun! The script could be having so much more fun!! It is adamantly against making the Story parts of this story-driven movie any more Fun than they functionally need to be!!!
Mario, Peach, and Toad's journey to find the Kongs is shorter than the training montage that precedes it. After the opening, Bowser mostly just sits in his castle and waits for the third act to start. Luigi's there, too, but he only gets one scene with Bowser and then the movie mostly forgets he exists until the climax. He doesn't even get to try and sneak out of Bowser's castle and get up to hijinx. He's just there to be a motivation for Mario, so he sits in a cage for half the movie. It's the bare outline of a script with action scenes added in.
Aside from the fact that it's Jack Black singing as Bowser, I feel like this overly-efficient script might be part of the reason why the "Peaches" scene stands out so much. It's a moment that didn't strictly need to be there to keep the plot moving or to provide an action setpiece. It's not even a reference to another Mario thing. It's just a fun and memorable little character moment that's there for its own sake. That's what the movie needed more of. To stop and smell the roses more often. To play in the space.
To be clear, this isn't a unique problem with this movie. Critics have been noting for years that second acts are disappearing from big Hollywood movies in favor of the Act I plot setup and the Act III action, even though Act II is supposed to be where you get to explore your actual premise. And lots of animated movies give me this exact same vibe of being too "screenwriterly," or feeling like they had an executive breathing down their necks and demanding changes based on focus testing. But these common issues are why I come away mostly feeling like the movie is on the better end of "average," rather than totally blowing my mind. You have seen this movie many times before, just not with Mario in it.
And, of course, there's the music. The score by Brian Tyler based on various classic Mario and Donkey Kong tunes (frustratingly all attributed to Koji Kondo) is absolutely beautiful, but it's unfortunately frequently overshadowed by the licensed music. Everyone already complained about things like the use of Take On Me in place of a lovingly arranged DKC medley, but it feels illustrative of the tug of war the movie is caught in the middle of, between wanting to be a lavishly faithful Mario movie and wanting to be a generic tentpole animated adventure movie. Every single licensed song used is the most obvious, overused song they could have picked for the scene. It reeks of cynical executive meddling and it took me out of the movie every time.
But there really was a lot of care and love put into this movie - more than probably any other video game movie ever made, not that that's a high bar. I don't want to underplay that too much amidst all my complaints spurred by the absolutely insane response to the reviews.
Aside from the countless background references that people will be picking apart for years, touches like the Captain Toad tune playing in the background of Toad's introduction or the Mario Kart 8 menu music playing in the kart garage really help bring it to another level of authenticity. I also enjoyed seeing some more obscure Mario enemies that felt like they were picked more for being fun to animate than for being nostalgic and marketable. No matter how many times I sarcastically pointed to the screen and deadpanned "reference. reference." I am not immune to noticing these things and smiling. I am not immune to the DK Rap. These alone don't make the movie good, but it's nice to have a video game movie that feels like it was made by people who like video games.
Most importantly, the animation is great throughout. It's leaps and bounds ahead of other Illumination work, and it's the best the Mario cast has ever looked. They even made Donkey Kong handsome, somehow. They're all so squishy and expressive, and they move so fluidly - especially in the action scenes. I particularly liked the more kinetic ones like the aerial Banzai Bill chase and the Mario Kart sequence. Truly, the Mad Max-inspired car battle on Rainbow Road where Mario literally does the speedrun shortcut is this movie firing on all cylinders.
Other, more hand-to-hand fights nail the Popeye-esque vibe Mario should be going for. He's an underdog who gets the shit kicked out of him by bigger, stronger opponents until he gets his signature powerup and turns the tables on them. My favorite animation of all probably came from the use of Cat Mario to turn the tide in the DK fight. They had so much fun making Mario move like a cat. Again, it feels like a choice made because it'd be fun to animate rather than just a nostalgia move.
It's that animation and that attention to detail that carry the film, really. They elevate it from mediocrity into being a fun watch for a fan like me, albeit one I couldn't help but pick apart with Anthony as we watched it at home. I'm glad I saw it, but there's a lot of room to improve with the inevitable sequel. I hope they do. I can't deny that I had fun with the movie, but I hope next time that fun is partially because of the script instead of in spite of it.
Stray thoughts:
Overall, I would say I enjoyed the movie a lot more than Sonic 1, but probably not as much as Sonic 2. Not that these movies need to be pitted against each other.
I hated the Luma. I hated how hilarious they clearly thought the Luma was. They have the fucking Luma break the fourth wall to end the movie and start the credits. This is going to be a deep cut for fans of bad animated films, but the whole time I was just thinking of the little fish from Romeo & Juliet: Sealed With A Kiss who's just the director's kid saying random nonsense. You know I'm right
I rolled my eyes at the "our princess is in another castle" joke and several other jokes that would have been dated in a gamer webcomic 20 years ago but I guess they had to be there
How much of Brooklyn did Bowser's giant floating castle take out? We know 9/11 happened in this universe because the Freedom Tower is there, hasn't New York been through enough
I can't believe there's a Diskun easter egg
The dog is the most Illumination character design in the movie. It felt like it wandered on set from The Secret Life of Pets
Mario being a gamer and playing Kid Icarus of all things just made me remember this tweet:
Yes Anthony did get mad at me for being thirsty for Bowser
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Protestors consistently ruining the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade footage is actually really great & keep boosting their footage when you see it
Every company featured in the parade sets up a contract (similar to the super bowl) where they buy a spot to then get a l a r g e endorsement via placing their ad on a float or in a balloon. Within the line up this year McDonald's, one of the biggest pro-genocide donators, got a large balloon rather than a float. This is important because balloons gets more air time than floats because of their size. On top of that floats may not have guests performing & paying for someone to perform; ideally McDonald's wanted to have a longer air time with their balloon without paying an hourly cost for performers. More air time = more ad revenue = more eyes seeing them = more customers.
The move by pro-Palestinian protestors to jump in front of McDonald's does 2 things:
1. McDonald's is getting less air time than what they were contractually promised, it'll be up to them to request what is owed (because it depends on the agreement made) by Macy's to them
2. And it messes with NBC's obligations with Peacock as the 2nd most important party of the parade + 3rd party in all contracts
So while McDonald's loses money and Macy's is scrambling to figure out how to loophole their way out of not losing money to owe McDonald's, NBC gets fucked too.
Since Oct 7, 2023, NBC has been one of many US news media outlets who actively lied to the US masses. But why do they matter for the parade? Their job is to be the main outlet who records and then uses their main platform, Peacock, to stream the parade. If protestors are seen throughout all your footage, delay large portions, and cause enough disruption to the footage being aired- that means they don't and won't immediately have their show footage ready to go.
Peacock does an offer every year to new customers to watch the parade for a $1.99 USD (not including taxes) monthly plan that can be canceled at any time with the first month free; but in the last 4+hrs after the parade aired people aren't going to stay for the year because their is no footage as promised. I actually have been checking throughout today and it's not available at all.
So not only is McDonald's going to be hemorrhaging alongside with all the other companies whose footage got cut or edited out to match the contractually obligated run time & censor protestors, but both NBC and Peacock will be losing money with each minute they don't have enough footage and a full stream to air- which is money that Macy's was also supposed to get a cut of. Which btw it's now 5pm cst the same day and there's still no footage - which is a $ problem for Peacock & NBC when folks prioritize now finding a service to watch the Superbowl > Parades.
Do not be surprised if Macy's stuff becomes more expensive and the possibility they'll change which news media outlet + streaming service covers the 2024 parade occurs. And yeah, McDonald's is going to become more expensive than it already is long term. Everybody who were financially complicit in the death of 14,000+ Palestinian men, women, and children will have a financially shit end of the year and rough 2024.
In short, despite the arrests, the protestors who sat & glued themselves to the parade route and those who stayed in the crowd to hold up flags and signs throughout really won. A 4 day cease fire for a very obviously one sided genocide isn't enough & tons of rich people are learning the hard way (as I post) that this is the beginning of their punishment by the universe for the actions.
#mun post#macy's thanksgiving day parade#free palestine#palestine#fuck the israeli government#i really hope somthing similar happens at the Superbowl#because rich people getting inconvenienced is already funny but having them bleed money at the same time is better#also shout out to livestreamers making the parade footage free on youtube today - you guys are the eyes on the ground to show the prooof#i watched footage where you could see staff moving reporters and cameras to different zones of the parade to get better footage and the#slow increase of nypd throughout it paints the picture of what was happening and why there's no stream up yet#most of the protestors stayed around the Macy's store but you can see tiny flags throughout w 5th st worn by people not making a ruckus#so reporters and staff had to travel whole blocks down to get footage - making it harder to get consistent shots for a faster stream upload#happy boycottmas#boycott mcdonalds#boycott macys#boycott nbc
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Ellie Carpenter calls out online abuse but shrugs off her own
“The bigger you get, the more criticism you get.”
Ellie Carpenter is authorised to speak on this subject. Mainly because her football career has got real big, real quick – she is 23, has been playing for global powerhouse Lyon for three years, and been the Matildas’ undisputed starting right-back for even longer.
But also because the peak of that career – playing in a World Cup semi-final in her home country – brought with it criticism which would more accurately be described as abhorrent social media trolling.
It happened in August, when Carpenter failed to clear a long ball that resulted in England’s second goal of the Lionesses’ 3-1 win. It was a mistake that left her visibly “heartbroken” after the match, but it did not warrant what former Socceroos captain Craig Foster described at the time as “vile, misogynistic garbage”.
The abuse forced her to limit replies on social media, which were also flooded with supportive messages from fans, friends and teammates, including captain Sam Kerr, who told media she was “mentally one of the toughest kids I’ve ever met in my life”.
Sometimes it is hard for an outsider to know how much this “outside noise” – as many sports people, including Carpenter, call it – affects the individual at its centre. For some, it can devastate mental health and on-field performance. If that is the case with Carpenter, you wouldn’t know it.
Two months after the World Cup, she has been back in the thick of it with Lyon, who are once more top of France’s Division 1 Feminine table, and is now back in Australia answering questions about online abuse she would probably rather not be answering.
“To be honest, I don’t really read or look into that,” she says in Perth, where the Matildas are preparing to play three Olympic qualifiers.
“It doesn’t really affect me at all, because I do a job for my team and myself. I don’t really listen to outside noise. I had a great support system around me during that time, and just during the whole World Cup really.
“It [online abuse] is everywhere these days, and that just shows that the bigger you are, or the bigger you get, the more criticism you get. That comes with being a professional athlete as well.
“You see it everywhere in different leagues, different sport codes. So obviously it’s a problem, and I know a lot of people are trying to make apps and platforms to try and stop abuse and things like that, so that’s good that people are aware of it and are trying to change it.”
Carpenter is an old, independent soul for her 23 years. When she contested the World Cup, she did so after recovering from an ACL rupture, in another country, and opting for little personal support except from her partner and teammate, Dutch international Daniëlle van de Donk.
“You have to grow up very quickly,” she says. “I moved out of home when I was 15 and was living by myself, so you grow up automatically.
“I didn’t really get much downtime [after the World Cup]. You just kind of go straight into a new season, so you don’t really have time to reflect or stop for a second.
“But it’s been incredible to see the aftermath of the World Cup and what we’ve done in football and Australia, and for women as well. I can definitely be proud of that.”
Carpenter is allowing herself to enjoy her time in Perth. She was released early by her club and arrived over the weekend, so enjoyed a couple of extra days to recover from jet lag.
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@zvaigzdelasas arguing in replies is annoying, so i am just going to put this in a post
Khmer Rouge wouldn't have been what it was without the US overthrowing Sihanouk bc of his perceived socialist sympathies and instituting & upholding the violent Lon Nol regime. You are in the imperial core in 2023, you are not in Angkor Wat in 1970
not my main point, which is just that revolutions (at least in the classic sense of storming-the-barricades or even just extraconstitutional shenanigans) are chaotic situations with unpredictable outcomes. you can get lots of positive changes. you can get lets of shitty ones. they're great for authoritarians and fascists in equal measure to sainted socialists or w/e. they do not solve the problem of having to do politics, but the rhetoric around the One True Revolution acts like it's the end of a long process, and not the beginning of a new, much more dangerous one.
if by "revolution" you just mean "major set of reforms carried out by winning control of existing political structures," sure, that's a lot less risky. but this would involve engaging with those wicked corrupt and nasty institutions of liberal democracy people are always so scornful of.
liberal democracy has pathways for lasting change [Citation Needed]
since the middle of the 19th century the US and Britain have seen massive improvements in income distributions, the creation of and the expansion of the welfare state, universal male suffrage, women getting the right to vote, (in the US) black people getting the right to vote, gay people going from criminals to a minority with rights protected under the law (including gay marriage), plus a laundry list of smaller but still important and lasting democratic, economic, and social reforms. yes, progress is not monotonic. no, no party is credibly threatening to (say) reimpose legal segregation in the US, or strip women of the right to vote anywhere in Europe. "nothing ever gets better" is an absolutely deranged take, especially when a lot of the reason things have gotten better is leftists willing to fight for improvements even if they fell short of total communist revolution.
You're aware of the world historic wave of reaction going across the western world like, right now right
Obviously! And I love the idea that a communist society would be magically free of prejudice or reactionaries leveraging it for power. Because it wouldn't be! And socialist countries generally have a human rights record that reflects similar issues!
(here I said even this language of "imperial core" involves assumptions which are silly and which i'm not willing to grant. marxists use the word "empire" in a way which is not actually very useful and has little explanatory power)
"within the geographic distribution of the highest value added surplus" very obvious explanatory power when the question is one of control over global labor capacity
i don't know if you're being deliberately disingenuous or what but the marxist use of the term "imperialism" is in fact much more sophisticated than that
and i think it's wrong in important ways, especially in the postcolonial period. the usage originated when colonial empires in the literal sense were very important; now, not so much. while there are important postcolonial dynamics of exploitation worth talking about, i do not think the framework of imperialism as articulated in the 19th century is anywhere close to sufficient, and it should be abandoned.
also don't wanna get bogged down in the weeds, just pointing out that one of the really irritating things about arguing with communists is you use words in annoying ways that inhibit rather than facilitate analysis.
And these are things that, for example, the AfD aren't trying to roll back?
you know you can look up the AfD's party platform online? like it's full of stupid, awful, xenophobic shit, and they are rightly reviled, but "return to the constitution and political structures of the German Empire" is not in there. i think the fact that even the biggest party of right-wing reactionaries can't imagine rolling back the clock more than a few decades is noteworthy--there are political gains over the history of modern leftism which are now so universally respected literally no one remembers we had a fight about them once.
like, obviously things have gotten better for the vast majority of people in germany, britain, or the US since the 1870s, and i don't know what we accomplish by pretending otherwise? except maybe creating some kind of martyr complex where we pretend leftism (and the labor movement in particular) is much less effective than it actually is.
i am going to mute replies to this and my other posts in this series, because on this particular morning i would rather have a root canal than argue about the word "imperalism," and i suspect this is the kind of argument that could go on literally forever. i do not think we are likely to persuade one another, but i have laid out why i find the contemporary marxist perspective on these things deeply unpersuasive (to the extent i can without rehashing a bunch of old posts), so i feel like i have said my piece.
#and i still don't feel like the real meat of my argument was engaged with#a lot of little smug jabs don't really constitute an argument
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Equivalent Exchange (a SWTOR story): Chapter 41: Good Soldiers Follow Orders
Equivalent Exchange by inyri
Fandom: Star Wars: The Old Republic
Characters: Female Imperial Agent (Cipher Nine)/Theron Shan
Rating: E (this chapter: M. Trigger warning: graphic violence, depictions of torture, body horror.)
Summary: If one wishes to gain something, one must offer something of equal value. In spycraft, it’s easy. Applying it to a relationship is another matter entirely. F!Agent/Theron Shan. (Spoilers for Shadow of Revan and Knights of the Fallen Empire/Knights of the Eternal Throne.)
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Comments are always appreciated! Visit me at:
Archive of Our Own
Fanfiction Dot Net
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Author’s Note: Please note the trigger warnings. I had to step away from this for a little while (all right, more than a little while). Chapters are consecutive, of course, and as I posted the last one and moved to wrapping up this one I found life imitating art in a very, very uncomfortable way. I don’t talk a lot about my work for many reasons. Normally it’s not very exciting. And then there are the days that stay, the reminders that sometimes the world is deeply, viciously cruel in ways that are hard to process. As part of my work I met two men who were subjected to that cruelty, heard their stories, and helped care for them on their paths back home.
The first iterations of this series of scenes were very different from where we ended up. Nine and her team were far nastier at first, which wasn’t really true to her, and then I tried to make it funny which- well, obviously we can see the problem with that approach. So this is where we ended. It’s still an ugly chapter, but here we are.
This chapter is dedicated to AD, AH, and all victims of torture.
Good Soldiers Follow Orders
Theron follows her close as a shadow as they make their way from her ship across the base, dodging carefully around the first watch guards on their patrol routes. A month ago it would have been simple but a month ago they’d been sloppy; since then she’d ordered new watchposts set, new floodlights installed, locked down the turbolift platform to the valley below. There were so many other places to land a ship on Odessen, canyons and clearings and deep, dark forest far beyond the view of the towers, and it would have been far too easy for an infiltrator to sneak in.
Or one might simply use your landing bay. Valkorion’s armor gleams as an arc of light cuts across the path. In through the front door. All comers welcomed. Perhaps Arcann should-
The illusion shatters when she steps through it, the sentence left ominously unfinished.
Second patrol. Third patrol. Through the external door on the heels of a pair of Sana-Rae’s adepts, weaving through the hall and crammed into the back corners of the lift with an absolutely massive Zabrak with a distinct half-ring of glitterstim around one nostril (she makes a mental note- the cantina’s more than necessary but if they’ve got a spice problem that’s another vulnerability they can’t afford), down the hallways into Science Wing and nearly to the lab- outside door’s open, good, but how’s she going to-
Shit.
She’s six steps ahead of herself in contingency plans as usual, mind racing, but that doesn’t matter worth a damn when she fucks up Step One. Stopping so abruptly he almost runs right into her, she grabs Theron by the wrist and pulls him into the darkest corner of an empty meeting room. His head tilts in silent confusion as she reaches toward the stealth generator clipped to his belt. I thought- he starts to sign, one hand raised.
Switching, she replies, left-handed; pulling it free, she replaces it with hers. Backup has a shorter clock when the main’s off. If it overloads-
Theron nods. Bad. Right. Where should I stand?
Back- her fingers stutter as she considers (Void, she really isn’t thinking, is she? She needs to be. One mistake and the whole thing comes apart)- back left corner. You’ll have a five-count to get through the door before it closes, then don’t move and-
Don’t say anything. I know. He repeats the sign, an added emphasis. I promised.
She rubs her forehead, trying and failing to settle the ache building between her eyes. I know. Come on.
***
The inner laboratory door slides closed with a soft hiss, just muffling Theron’s last few footsteps as he settles carefully into the corner, and she lets her stealth field drop.
“I got your message.” Nine forces the words out, forces strength into her voice as she sets the lock. She cannot falter, not now. “SCORPIO, give me the holo. Let’s get it opened up.”
“Commander.” Doctor Lokin looks up from across the room, setting a handful of instruments and an empty syringe- not all clean, she notes- neatly into place on a polished metal tray. Beside him, her would-be killer slumps forward against the treatment chair’s restraints, an intravenous catheter in his right arm and his lower body wrapped in a surgical dropcloth, head covered by black fabric and bound around the middle with thick strips of spacer’s tape. “We were just beginning.”
[ sleepy already, cipher? but we’re only just beginning.
when hunter’s slap hits she startles bolt upright in the chair and then wishes she hadn’t, her ribs shifting beneath the straps like so many shattered potsherds as she grinds her teeth to keep from screaming. she’s screamed so much already and she won’t give him the satisfaction of another, won’t-
hunter gestures- toward the woman, she thinks, it’s getting hard to see now with her face so bruised. let’s wake her up, hm? ah, no- something cold and metallic tightening on her right index finger- the other hand, to start. now the left side, still the index finger, tighter and tighter and oh void it hurts it hurts it hurts she’s got to say something or it-
i’m telling you, she gasps, when those reinforcements get here from- and there’s a sharp snap and she can’t help it and she screams-
keep singing, little bird. I do so hate to have to break your pretty wings.]
Her hand throbs.
“I didn’t tell you to start without me.” Her stomach churns even as she curls her fingers into an easy fist, testing their movement; she couldn’t do that for a month after Corellia so it’s only the memory of pain, isn’t it? “And how long has that tape been on? We need his eyes open, not swollen shut. It’s too fucking tight.”
“If you’re referring to this-” Lokin lifts a pair of bloody-gripped forceps with one finger and a long-suffering look- “your knife tipped his saphenous, and I assumed you would prefer he not hemorrhage before you had the chance to work. I’ve only just run the amytal in, nothing more. But,” he squints at the rings of tape, flips a vibroscalpel from the tray into his palm and before she can even begin to move he slices through the binding neatly, once and then again, “you aren’t wrong. SCORPIO restrained him while I was busy with his leg, but I ought to have-”
SCORPIO turns from the console, shoulders lifting in what might have been a shrug. “My primary directive on Odessen remains operational security, Commander. He cannot share what he cannot see.”
“Yes, but-”
One of the wall-mounted monitors beeps, shrill and insistent, until Lokin prods it with a gloved finger and it lapses into red-flashing silence. “He’s starting to wake. Shall we?”
Void, she hates interrogations. (She used to be good at them once, when she was younger and followed orders better. She used to be good at them because of course, why waste precious time on subtleties when you can simply pry and bend and break and it all comes out in the end either way- maybe in pieces, yes, but that was just another puzzle to solve if one was clever enough, even if it was messier-
Orders were orders.
She used to be good at them once. Before Corellia.)
“Is Lana coming? She’s covering for me with Sana-Rae, I think, but-”
She turns too quickly as the door opens behind her and as she spins the room tips sideways and then it starts to spin, too; pausing midstep, she grabs at the nearer benchtop to steady herself, her left hand raised as a counterbalance. Lana clears the doorway in two steps, the worry lines across her forehead deepening.
“I’ve got you,” Lana murmurs. “We’ve just finished, and I had a feeling you might-” she only wrinkles her nose a little as she glances toward the instrument table- “want my help with this.”
When she nods the world shifts unpleasantly anticlockwise. “Yes. Dialing out blind on his holo’s a losing proposition. With any luck he’ll talk, but I’m not counting on it and we haven’t got the time to wear him down.” Pressing her lips together against a wave of nausea, she inhales. Exhales. Inhales. The spinning slows.
“Physical methods, then?”
She shakes her head- oh, Force, there it goes again- inhale. Exhale. “Just tell me what you see. I’ve been bled on enough today, and if we push too hard-”
“Does it matter? You can’t possibly intend to let him-” at her gesture Lana lowers her voice, just above a whisper- “walk away from this. An attack, here, on you- there have to be consequences.”
“Do I look like a Jedi to you? You know me better than that.” When she says it Lana snorts and rolls her eyes and to be fair she has a point- of course she has a point- but a misstep now could be the last strand of a rope to hang herself by, the final block knocked loose that brings the whole tower crashing down, and she can afford that far less than to give away a shred of undeserved mercy. “You’re a step ahead of me, that’s all. I need the who before I decide the what.”
Lana sighs. “I know. I only- I defer to you, Commander. It’s your decision.”
“Maybe, or maybe it’s Trant’s. But we won’t know until we know, and-” another warning chime from the monitors; another warning look from Lokin. “We’re running out of time. And when we’ve finished I’ve still got to talk to Koth and Senya, and-”
“Already postponed, and that can wait in any case. There’s nothing to discuss that won’t keep for a day. We’ll call them once we’re in transit,” Lana eyes her up and down, “after another round of kolto.”
“I’m fine.”
“Liar.” Lana’s hand comes to rest beneath her lifted arm; with the world still half-spinning she’d have missed the subtle pulse of energy if Lana hadn’t flinched when their fingertips meet. “Force help me, you’re not - I’ll take it over, Nine. I’ll… I can do it. You should rest.”
“No.” When she shakes her head the room stays level now, at least. It’s something. “No. This is my mess to sort out. Just lock the door.”
***
Five minutes later all she’s got out of him is a slurred sequence of names, ranks, and serial numbers (lying, Lana says each time from her perch behind the chair, though she knew that long before she said it) and the unwavering gut-punch certainty that the man is an SIS agent. With so little actual information to go on and their databases two years out of date- when Theron left he’d downloaded what he could but slicing back into the mainframe to sync them’s a risk none of them are willing to take right now- trying to find a name for her attacker’s useless, with dozens of dossiers a partial match to the same physical parameters: average height, average build, Underlevels accent, Republic emblems tattooed on biceps and back and another handful laser-faded to barely visible outlines. With half the Republic’s infantry dredged up from the Coruscant undercity’s gangs and prisons and half the SIS (and nearly all of SpecOps) poached from the army, she could have shot into the Dealer’s Den or the Red Rancor on a Primesday night and hit five clones of him in a straight line between the door and the bar.
She studies his face from every angle, waiting for a memory to trigger, and- no, still nothing, barely a nod in the corridor or a passing glance in the mess line. Three weeks on Odessen and the man’s practically a ghost, a traceless alias for a name and a ride hitched on a transport from Port Nowhere. Granted, both she and Theron had been off-planet most of that time, but stars, if this one got in so easily how many more could?
That’s a problem for another day. It has to be.
But for now SCORPIO runs the serials, just for the sake of thoroughness, and- ah. Those faces she knows: Corellia, six years ago; a Coruscanti gala, bloodstains on a black dress; Dromund Kaas, only a month or two before Zakuul.
She just hadn’t known their real names, then. It wouldn’t have mattered if she had.
Orders were orders.
“So you’re ten dead men in a trenchcoat, then? And you’re wrong about that last one, by the way. That was probably Cipher Four. I’ve never been to Ord Mantell.” She pushes his commpad away with a scowl. The damned thing’s wiped clean- all the more likely he’d spoken to Trant within the last half-day, then; that was a lesson from Alderaan that only the Director ought to have learned. With enough time they could have recovered it, but they don’t have time. So she turns back to him instead, her thumb and index finger poised on closed eyelids gone puffy from the pressure of the binding. “Last chance to make this easier on yourself. When did you last hear from Marcus Trant?”
“More’n ten. Way more.” His words are less slurred now, the serum finally taking effect, and Lana sits up straighter. “‘nd hells take your easier. You’re gonna kill me anyway, so-”
Void, why are they always so insistent on dying?
She doubts he can see her, so she just adds a twinge of melodrama to her sigh. “Not necessarily, agent. You tried to murder me. Naturally, I objected-” a little more pressure on his eye, just enough that he starts to shift against the restraining strap- “but if I really wanted you dead I’d have let you use your kill pill instead of wasting perfectly good antitoxin on you. I can be civil if you can.”
Lana closes her eyes, focused and still.
“To be clear, you’re alive as a means to an end and it’s in your best interest to cooperate. But you and I know how it goes, don’t we?” When she lifts her open hand SCORPIO presses the holotransmitter into her palm. “Good soldiers follow orders. It’s not personal. You were only doing as you’re told.” She leans in closer, knee jostling against his mended leg just a little harder than necessary as the paper drape crinkles, voice lowered in a simulacrum of confidence. “Stars, I remember those days. He sits in his big office and sics you on a target, unclips your leash and you just- well. Ours not to reason why, hm?”
The cuff around his right wrist clinks against the arm of the chair as he makes an obscene gesture.
Wrong tactic. Well, then.
Her sigh’s loud enough to make him flinch. “And it was all wrong, wasn’t it? All that planning, all that time pacing, writing a five-line message that he never even saw, all for nothing?” His breath stills, his heart rate spikes, and Lokin hooks another syringe to the IV port and slowly pushes the plunger down. “DId you think I wouldn’t see? I’d almost feel sorry for you if it wasn’t so utterly pathetic.”
His head lolls forward against the restraint, a counterpressure against her hand.
“Oh, no, no.” Shifting, she pushes him back upright with two fingertips in the center of his forehead. “Not yet. Not until-”
“I almost got you.” His mouth contorts- it might have passed for a grin in a darker room, teeth bared, feral- and something in his voice makes her hair stand on end. She recoils, pulling her hand away from his face even as he pauses. “So fucking close. Just a few more seconds and I’d’ve bled you dry, Cipher, and then I’d-”
(The words barely register; he’s not the first and certainly not the most creative person to threaten her with postmortem indecencies but somehow they always think it’s going to shock her into silence, as though it’s the single most awful thing that could ever happen when she’s lived through far worse horrors and more to the point she wouldn’t even know, she’d be dead).
“-see enough and you know Shan’d come running- Force, that would’ve been even better, the look on his traitor face even if it was the wrong way round-”
wait.
WAIT.
no, Trant wouldn’t have-
When she blinks she sees it all in the span of a millisecond: half a hundred ways it could have gone, half a hundred indignities inflicted, half a hundred times it breaks Theron for just long enough for the blow to fall. Lana must see something else; she makes the smallest little sound, a muffled gasp of disgust covered over by knuckles cracking in clenched-fisted fury and then a snarled Sith curse she doesn’t understand (but Valkorion clearly does- she isn’t wrong, he murmurs) and it brings her back to herself.
Her comm buzzes; her eyes flick down toward the screen.
<ask him about belsavis>
Kicking him for breaking comm silence would be counterproductive, she supposes, but what does Belsavis have to do with anything? If Theron knows his name he ought to have just said so, not making her work harder than she already is.
< don’t know him but think I know the unit>
<told Marcus it was a bad idea>
<don’t think he listened>
That would explain the burned-off tattoos. Stars, has the SIS truly become that desperate? Or was this another Garza project- some experiment likely as not to fail just as Eclipse Squad had, so why waste frontline troops when the Republic had a whole planet full of froth-mouthed maniacs more than happy to keep killing as the cost of their freedom and if things did go bad, well, they were going to die one way or another so what did it matter?
Then SCORPIO blinks once, head turning toward her comm and then, slower, toward the corner and oh, damn it all-
“Didn’t think the SIS went in for necrophilia,” she says conversationally, covering her mouth over a particularly exaggerated yawn as Lokin barely stifles a snort. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell the Jedi. I am curious, though- did you pick that up on Belsavis, or was that why they locked you up in the first place?”
His teeth clench.
“Piracy? Hm, no. Some flavor of war crime, I’m sure- oh, I know. Fragged your CO, I’d bet. You’ve got that sort of look.”
“Onomatophobia. Go fuck yourself.”
(She’d come at it all wrong, hadn’t she?
She’d thought this wasn’t personal because for her it wasn’t. Okay, fine, with Trant maybe it is, now, but this is no old enemy. She only hurt him to start with because he cut her first and deeper and even Theron doesn’t know his name- and stars know his memory’s brilliant, to judge by his stories he remembers everyone he ever worked with and it was far harder for him when they weren’t all just Minder Ten and Fixer Twelve and Watcher Three. The garotte alone might have been sheer bloody-mindedness in a way she wouldn’t have expected from the SIS, but even the Republic for all its supercilious moralizing had its fair share of sadists; Hunter hadn’t truly been one of them but they’d certainly all thought so at the time and still they’d all turned their heads, every single time, even when she’d screamed until her voice gave out.
Of course her control word was in her Republic file. He wasn’t the only one to try to use it, the first ones in earnest and then, when she’d shredded enough of them into bloody little pieces that they realized it didn’t didn’t hold her any more, as a vicious sort of mockery. That worked a bit, she supposes; maybe it always will. Not well enough to save them, of course.
She’d thought it wasn’t personal, that orders were orders and he’d come after Theron because he had to. But stars, she’d been out of the game for five fucking years and he’s practically got her dossier memorized, errors and all, and he’d called Theron a traitor and the first time she really pushes his buttons he-
Oh, this was very personal.)
“No,” she says, and breathes, trying to untie the panic-knot tightening in her chest, “I don’t think I will.” Snatching up a scalpel from the instrument tray as her voice wavers, she presses its tip, just so, beneath his chin. “You thought you were close? Close only counts in horseshoes and heavy ordnance, puppy, and that and a slip of my hand’ll buy you an unmarked grave. And-” he’s trying not to move, trying not to flinch. A single bead of blood wells up beneath the blade and stars, it’d be so easy, just one little movement and stay calm stay calm stay calm- “you still haven’t answered my question. When did you last hear from Marcus Trant?”
Lana exhales as her gaze comes back into focus, lip curling. Whatever she saw, she didn’t like it. “Today. It was today. But beyond that-”
“It’s good enough.” It was never going to be that easy. “SCORPIO, you don’t still have Belsavis census access, do you?”
A yellow flash, and then- “I am no longer tethered to Ward 23, and what I retained is long out of date. Proximity would be required.”
“Never mind. We’ll move on to the holo, then. Doctor?”
“Ready.” Lokin nods approvingly as she sets the scalpel down. “Retractor?”
“Retractor, please. Left eye.”
One click. Two clicks. Three.
The ‘pub squirms, fighting the restraining strap in earnest as he tries to blink against the cold metal instrument. “What are you-” his pupil constricts until she shifts the operating light away- “you gonna take my eyes now, Cipher? Keep ‘em in a jar somewhere, or-”
The holo’s scanner locks on as she holds it level with his forced-open eye. “No, thank you. I never was much for souvenirs.”
It chimes cheerfully as it comes to life in her hand; she flips idly through the settings. The user ID’s a string of alphanumeric gibberish, the message system’s not set up and the whole thing’s still on factory default but she’d expected all of that. It’s almost certainly a burner. The call log’s intact, though, with four time-stamped entries. One: incoming but barely five seconds long, likely a functionality test. Not useful. Two: outgoing, eighteen days old. Confirmation of arrival? That’s a Coruscanti subnet, but that could be a handler. Three: outgoing, one day old, to the same address as the second- they’d landed back from Nar Shaddaa by then.
Four: incoming. Coruscant again, but a different address. One minute and six seconds duration.
Two and a half hours ago.
He said he’d call it off, Void damn him. If Trant kept his word and she’s wrong, if she burns the last thin strands of the bridge between Theron and everything he ever believed in to ashes and she’s wrong-
(He did say he would call them. Reflected in the freezer’s glass door, Valkorion tilts his head contemplatively. And tell them what?
He said-
he said-
[-but those last few breaths last longer if you don’t struggle, don’t they? You’ll figure that out soon enough.]
For the first time she can remember there is something like approval in his smile. So you did hear it, he says. But oh, little Cipher, you didn’t listen.)
She gestures to Lana and Lokin, pointing with two fingers at each one in turn and then the door with a snap of her wrist that sets it throbbing. “All of you but SCORPIO, clear the room. Now.”
Lana blinks but it’s Lokin who speaks first. “Commander, if I may? If you plan to proceed further, the subject may require additional stabilizing mea-”
“Wait outside until I call for you. That’s an order.”
He’s halfway to the door before Lana starts to move from the benchtop and even then she pauses beside her as she passes, one hand on her shoulder and her mouth lowered level with her ear. “You’re not getting Valkorion involved? I know you’d rather not dial out blind, but I thought I felt-”
“I’m not,” she murmurs in reply. “On either count. But if this goes bad I don’t want you in the room when it does.”
“All right.” The sheer force of disapproval contained in Lana’s sigh might have leveled buildings; it isn’t all right and they both know it but it’s far too late to argue over it now. “Should I go and find Theron, then? I can think of some excuse to keep him with me until you’ve finished.”
They both startle at the sound of SCORPIO’s voice. “Unnecessary. He is-” her heart stops as the droid’s eyes flicker- “secure.”
“We can’t be certain of that. He still doesn’t know, does he? If there’s a second-”
“I see many things that you do not, Lord Beniko.” Five metallic fingers uncurl ceilingward (not toward the corner; her heart stutters, then resumes). “I am perfectly certain.”
Lips pressed together, nostrils flared, Lana grits her teeth against a retort before she simply continues toward the exit. “Then I will wait,” she says, a sparking halo of electricity coiling around her words as the door slides shut behind her, “until I am needed.”
And then the room is quiet save the beeping monitors, the ‘pub’s ragged breathing and the sharp rattle of his restraints, and Nine glances sidelong at SCORPIO as she settles herself carefully in the blind spot on his right. “Be nice.”
“Error. Program file: nice not found.”
She must have iterated again; the sarcasm’s new. Rolling her eyes, she glances down at her comm again.
< Also, you are welcome.>
She flicks an ironic salute toward the droid and that too makes her wrist ache. More time in the tank, then, on the way to Voss. More time lost that she can’t afford and a favor owed that she probably can’t afford either- stars know SCORPIO’s kept secrets for her well enough through the years but she’s no particular fondness for Theron; the last time he’d cracked a joke about needing a processor update she’d signal-locked his implant to play That Slippery Little Hutt Of Mine on repeat for forty-three minutes straight until half his face was twitching and he’d finally apologized- but hopefully that can be negotiated. Ongoing access to the network, maybe. Lana will fuss and she’ll be right, but if that message had gone through unintercepted they all know what it might have meant. It’s a small enough price.
“If you’re done arguing-” the ‘pub’s slurring again. He’s burning through the serum faster than she’s ever seen- “either get this thing off me or-”
If he keeps that up she may as well not bother with the call. She ought to have known better than to think that he’d say much of anything useful but his ranting’s absolutely tedious; they’re going to need to gag him after all, aren’t they? It wasn’t supposed to be that sort of interrogation, but she also hadn’t particularly expected him to- oh, if he calls her that one more time she might just stab him after all. (Like he’s got any room to criticize- all her old sins could overfill an archive but at least she’s not a stars-damned corpsefucker.) “Shh.” When she tilts her head toward it SCORPIO picks up the spacer’s tape and tears a strip from the roll, pressing it firmly over his mouth until th+e noise quiets into muffled incomprehensibility. “That’s quite enough out of you, I think.“
Hm. That brings to mind a better idea, actually.
“Do we have enough input for a voiceprint? Something like this?” Tapping a brief message into her commpad, she sends it through to SCORPIO. Only a few lines, but if it truly is Trant on the other end of the connection it should be enough to be certain.
It has to be enough.
She doesn’t look toward the corner. She mustn’t look toward the corner.
“Way more than enough.” It’s near enough a perfect mimic. SCORPIO folds her arms smugly and the ‘pub goes grey. “Prepared for playback.”
“On my signal, then, but give me a twenty second delay on video.” Her fingers twitch despite themselves, tingling at the tips; she forces her breathing into rhythm. (Lana was right. She isn’t fine.
Lana was always right. But she doesn’t have a choice.)
Inhale. “And prep the package files for transmission on verbal command. No passcode.” Exhale.
A pause, a flash of scarlet. Inhale. “Yes, Commander.”
Exhale.
Inhale. She smooths her hair back, adjusts her collar carefully under her chin, slaps both cheeks briskly with closed fingers to bring a little color into them and even that little jolt rattles her brain inside her skull. She considers, briefly, the backs of her eyelids. That seems to help. Exhale.
The far corner remains quiet.
She lifts the holo in line with the ‘pub’s eye once more as his pupil shimmers finely from side to side; they’d definitely pushed the dose too high but even so it’s far faster than it ought to be, chasing some other vice out of his system, and the camera struggles, beeping and chirping error after error until finally it locks on.
Inhale. Exhale.
She meets SCORPIO’s gaze, scrolls back to the end of the call log, and presses redial.
Inhale.
“Connecting.” The tinny synthetic voice of the SIS operator sets her nerves on edge. “Connecting.” Come on, pick up-
The channel opens with a click and she nods, lets her breath out into the following silence before the voiceprint begins.
“It’s done. Shan and the Cipher. Wrong way ‘round, but-”
“Well-” the video delay goes both ways but she doesn’t need it, she’s heard Marcus Trant’s voice in so many briefings it’s burned into her brain; the last brittle shard of hope she’d clung to shatters and leaves her with nothing left but rage. How dare he- “it’s about fucking time.”
Oh, she is going to end him.
***
Nine’s body language shifts then, her spine rigid where she’d been starting to hunch forward in fatigue, her hands fisted, fingernails digging hard into her palms. Her stance settles, just a little wider, forward on her toes; her chin lifts. He can’t see her face, still angled toward the prisoner.
“Send the photo confirmation, then execute extraction- and get your video on. Where are you?” Force, he’s going to throw up. Even when Jonas told him, even after hearing Marcus with his own ears he hadn’t wanted to believe it. He’d called it off. It had to be a mistake- or maybe Nine’s paranoia got the better of her (and he knows why and he doesn’t fault her, she can’t help Valkorion in her head and the poison he���s feeding her day after day after day) and this was just another shadow to peer into. Dragged into the light, it would have been nothing at all. A mistake. A mistake.
She nods to the droid once again. “ Just a few more seconds. Bad connection but I’ve almost got it.”
He shudders. The copywork’s uncanny and he knows for sure that’s not all readback. If SCORPIO gets it in her head to playact as one of them, starts giving orders in Lana’s voice or Koth’s or his own? He’s no reason to think she would, but whatever loyalty she seems to owe starts and ends with Nine. They’ve got to talk about it, at least.
Nine angles away from their prisoner, raises the comm chest-high as the little hologram springs up in the hollow of her hand. He can see her better now, her face blank and beautiful and perfectly, utterly cold, and then she smiles and-
(He has spent far more time than he’d ever admit to, from Rishi to Ziost to Zakuul to tonight, every hit and hurt and shattered bone and her bloody armor left in a pile again and again on the medbay floor, being scared for Nine.
This might be the first time he’s honestly been scared of her.)
“Hello, Director,” she says. “We’ve really got to stop meeting like this.”
It’s only a little flinch, but it’s there. “Cipher. Still alive, I see.”
“Commander. You lied to me, Marcus. You know what happens now.”
“I think you’ll find that I didn’t.”
Every syllable of her laughter���s a rifle shot, clear and piercing. “Yes, yes. You said you’d call, and you did.” By his posture he’s caught and he knows it, back straight, shoulders set. “But you know perfectly well that wasn’t our agreement. To go by the way Theron spoke of you I’d have thought you an honorable man, but-”
Marcus lifts one hand, a futile placation as Nine’s mocking smile fades back into hard-eyed silence. “I really am sorry about Theron, for what little it’s worth. He-”
“You’re sorry?” That wasn’t a laugh, not quite, halfway caught in her broken throat. “You’re certainly about to be, but Theron’s fine. This puppy was just as stupid as the last one- worse, actually, since he got himself caught in the bargain.” She turns her body, lets the camera capture the prisoner behind her straining against the chair straps in wide-eyed muffled fury. “He never got anywhere close to Theron.”
“He knows, then?” (He still can’t see Marcus’ face. He isn’t sure whether he wants to.)
She shrugs, noncommittal. “One thing at a time.” Her free hand gestures vaguely toward the instrument tray. “I’ve been a bit busy, I’m afraid, and now I’ve got all these dossiers to send off-”
“I’d suggest some time in kolto first. You don’t look at all well, Cipher.”
“Commander.” When she blinks her eyes stay closed half a second too long and she sways back and forth and stars, she needs to sit down before she falls over but she’s too stubborn to let anyone see her hurting. He knows her tells now, though- her jaw clenches, her left hand curls and uncurls. “Five years in carbonite couldn’t kill me. You honestly thought a garotte would be enough?”
“No,” Marcus says softly. “Not really. But we make do with what we have, don’t we?”
“I suppose we do. SCORPIO, transmit file Eclipse . Full recipient list.”
One red flash, two green. “Transmission complete.”
(She really did it. Oh, fuck, she really, actually did it.
He should never have gone home. He should never have gone-
It isn’t home. Not any more.)
Marcus sighs. “Where?”
“Everywhere.” Nine looks up abruptly as one of the monitors sounds yet again; she reaches up and simply shuts it off completely and at this angle he can finally see properly, both of their faces in profile. “Every reputable news service in the Core Worlds and about half of the disreputable ones, so you may want to warn your receptionist. I suspect your switchboard’s about to melt.”
“She’ll handle it, and Eclipse Squad was Elin’s mess. I’m afraid I can’t comment. Now, if we’re finished-”
“We are not. Transmit file Legate. Full list. Call it off. Now.”
One red flash, two green, and Marcus winces, his composure finally breaking. “Are you out of your fucking mind? No one came out of that clean, you least of all.”
“I might be.” A knock at the door- no, it’s there, not here, and a comm chiming. “But Legate died in a warehouse collapse on Quesh, poor thing, though with all those warheads going up at once confirming it was quite impossible. Pity.”
A single vein pulses across his forehead.
“Call it off.”
Another knock. “Do you think Theron will believe that?”
“He doesn’t need to. He knows about the Castellan restraints- he’s known for years.” She glances, for the smallest fraction of a second, toward his corner. “I think he’ll understand if I blur the truth a little.”
(He nods before he remembers she can’t see him. Of course he understands. He wishes she hadn’t done it, wishes she hadn’t needed to do any of this, but of course he understands.)
The room goes quiet, the stillness broken only by restraint buckles clinking against the chair frame.
“Do you think he’ll believe this?”
The angle of her head’s a wordless question.
“What wouldn’t you do to bring down an enemy? The head of the SIS, no less.” The framing of the projection changes, the bottom edge of a screen coming into view as he stands up slowly from his desk. Marcus’d always lived at the office, one of so many bad habits he’d passed down to him over all the years they’d worked together (the work always comes first, he’d said. It always will. It will take everything you can give to it and then it will take more and you’ll swear and shout and threaten to quit. And then you won’t, because this is what we were made for. And that is how we win). “It’s everything you ever worked toward. So: a foiled assassination attempt in your own base- how terrible.” He clicks his tongue, a mocking little tsk. “You’d have to retaliate, and who would fault you?”
Nine’s eyes narrow.
“But if it came out that you set it all up- a few intercepted messages, perhaps, shared by an old friend-”
Her lips draw back from her bared teeth. “Stay away from him.”
“I’m finished,” Marcus says. “I know that. But that doesn’t mean you get to win. Once a iiar, always a liar, Cipher Nine. Who do you think he’ll believe- you? Or me?”
No. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t . Not that it would have made a difference, but Marcus couldn’t have known that- Force, he really is going to throw up.
(When Theron joined the SIS he was seventeen years old and every adult he’d known for more than a galactic standard month had abandoned him, sold him out or simply sold him at the first sign he’d outgrown his usefulness. It took nearly a year on Coruscant, nearly a year of steady paychecks and a bed to sleep in every night, before he owned more clothes than he could fit into a go bag; it took almost two before he stopped apologizing for asking for equipment. But Marcus never gave up on him, even when he fucked up (which back then was more often than not), even when he bristled and snapped like a half-wild animal, even when he wanted to give up on himself. If Master Zho had been the nearest thing he’d known to a father- stars knows it wasn’t Jace, especially not now- Marcus had come close too, once.
Once.)
She takes a deep breath. She’s fading fast, now, hands tremulous even as she’s fighting to keep the holo steady. He can’t just sit here and watch this, he can’t, he can’t-
“Her,” Theron says, letting the stealth field drop as he takes a step forward and she spins, startled, at the sound of his voice. It comes out as a gasp; he doesn’t even know how long he’s been holding his breath. ”Who do I believe? Her. Always.”
Marcus buckles like he’s been gut-shot, bracing himself against his desk. “You- you said you hadn’t told him yet. You said-”
“I think you’ll find that I didn’t.” Nine smiles, absolutely feral and absolutely beautiful, and he steadies her with one hand at the small of her back. “Though as you can see, I really have been busy.”
The last time he saw that look on his face was the day the blockade went up around Coruscant. “Hello, Theron.”
“Hello, Marcus.”
He sits back into his chair, heavy, elbows resting on the desktop. “This office would have been yours, you know. You were ready for it. But you’re on the wrong side of the war.”
“Which war?” Nine says it at the same time he does and then she dips her head, ever so slightly- you first. “We’re here fighting Zakuul. We’re here fighting Arcann,” he continues, “and we’re finally winning. I know you know that. I know Jace knows that, and I know you’re both still fighting the same fucking war against the Empire that you’ve been fighting since before I was born because for you that’s the only thing that matters. But I’m not.”
“You dare-”
“I made my choice,” he says softly. “Now you make yours. Are you going to drag the whole SIS down with you?”
Marcus rests his head in his hands. For a moment it’s the day after the Ascendant Spear, the day after Ziost, the day after Tython, the weight of a thousand impossible choices and ten thousand lies pressing down on him, and then he looks up and shakes his head. “No.” He sighs. “No, I’m not. What happens now?”
“Resign,” Nine murmurs. “Retire. Disappear before the Senate comes for you, or let them scapegoat you: I don’t care what you do, but you will call this off. You will do it now, and if I ever have reason to doubt you- if anyone from the Republic so much as breathes harm in Theron’s direction- the Ralltiir file goes public.”
Someone’s pounding on his office door, a woman’s voice shouting something incomprehensible as he reaches out of frame, and then a few moments later a series of four tones in a cadence burned into his own memory- send message; subnet selected; confirm?-
Message sent.
The holotransmitter in Nine’s hand chimes.
“Done. Now, if there’s nothing else?”
Nine turns once more (and he turns with her, careful) to put their prisoner back into frame. “What do you want me to do with him? I’d put him back on Belsavis if I was you, but-”
Marcus stands up abruptly, even as he makes a face as she says Belsavis, at the unmistakable sound of a single round of blaster fire and the hiss of a door sliding open. “Elin,” he snaps, “not now -”
“Yes, now.” General Garza’s got a blaster pistol in one hand and a commpad in the other when she crosses into camera view. “I just got a fucking call from the fucking- oh.” She cranes her neck toward the projector. “Well, we can fix that problem, at least-”
The call disconnects abruptly.
Nine sags against him, exhausted. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, “I know I promised-”
“Commander.” He’d nearly forgotten SCORPIO was still at the console until she speaks, and he’s never heard that tone from her before; he looks sharply up at her and follows her sightline. The prisoner’s sitting bolt-straight, back rigid, eyes wide, and a high-pitched whine like a drill through durasteel shrills warning from somewhere that isn’t his mouth- “Commander, get down!”
All Theron can do is drop where they’re standing, his body a shield over Nine’s, before there’s an awful wet noise and the smell of blood and something else familiar in his nose, hot and metallic and not his and not hers and even though he knows he shouldn’t he looks up again and oh, fuck-
The lab door slides open and Doctor Lokin comes running into the room, Lana just behind with her lightsaber blazing, and they both stop short at the sight of it, at the ‘pub still strapped into the chair with half his head just gone and at him and Nine on the blood-spattered floor.
“What- who-” Lana covers her mouth with her free hand. “What in the Void happened?”
Nine’s shaking so hard she can barely move; he curls her close against him to keep her upright. “Not me,” she whispers. “Not me.”
#inyri writes#equivalent exchange#swtor#swtor fanfiction#imperial agent/theron shan#nine/theron#cipher nine#thank you all for your patience#as i wrote this one fought me for a very long time#so i hope it was worth the wait#and the next chapter is kinder to them i promise
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Astrology Observations 🤎
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In a composite chart, a Pisces Rising can show a very creative and spiritual couple. However, it can also show a couple who bonds over their shared problems. For example, a couple who both have similar mental health problems, or a couple who are both recovering from addiction etc… this couple needs to be careful of the potential tendency to enable each other’s bad habits or delusions. Other than this, there can be an ethereal and self-sacrificing love that exists between the two.
In terms of predictive astrology, your progressed moon is one of the best ways to observe where you are currently in life, and what you can expect to see in the near future. When your progressed moon makes a conjunction to any of the angles (1,4,7,10th houses) expect to see major changes in your life. Things like starting a new job, starting a business, a new relationship, moving can be observed when the progressed moon makes a conjunction to an angle. A progressed New Moon (when your progressed moon makes a conjunction to your natal sun) is also said to bring about major life changes.
I was doing a transit reading for a client, and I realized that when we are between the ages of 21-22 we usually have the Saturn square Saturn transit occurring. This is why so many 21 year olds, feel lost or overwhelmed because they are expected to have their lives together, as they have now have reached the age where they are considered an adult. When this Saturn square Saturn occurs, you are quite literally being forced to “grow up” and accept new responsibilities. But in reality, the transition from teen to young adult is not always smooth sailing.
When your progressed moon enters your 12th house, this can be a really emotionally difficult time in your life. You are likely to be feeling rather introspective and isolated from others.
I’ve noticed that a lot of women who have Leo moons, have mothers who try and live through them, or try and outshine them in some way. Most of them are quite close with their mothers, but there’s this underlying sense of competition.
People who have their natal moon or mercury square Uranus often struggle when it comes to overthinking/experiencing intrusive thoughts. These people will often analyze situations compulsively, and they trigger their own nervous systems at times. I’ve also noticed that they need a lot of reassurance from those around them, as they sometimes truly feel as if their thoughts are driving them insane.
Aries Venus people are often attracted to partners who are ambitious and accomplished. I actually think they are very similar to those who have their Venus in Capricorn. The only difference is that they are more impulsive in love.
Contrary to popular belief, Aquarius placements are actually some of the most loyal people. Once you get close to them, you will see past the “loner” stereotype and façade. They Are a FIXED sign after all. It’s the mutables (Virgo included) that are a bit wishy washy. Before anyone gets upset, obviously not ALL Aquarius placements are going to be loyal, and not every mutable placement person will be flaky. I’m just countering the notion that the majority of aqua placements are erratic commitment-phobes.
Scorpio midheavens just have to learn to be okay with being the villain in everyone’s story. I’ve truly never seen a placement attract such envy/extreme reactions from others. Hmm, maybe I have, people who have Venus/Pluto aspects also attract intense energy from others.
Venus conjunct North Node synastry is one of the aspects I really don’t like seeing when I’m observing synastry charts. It’s not the worst, and if other factors support the idea of a healthy and long-term relationship between two people, it can actually be a good thing. However, I’ve seen these relationships play out I’m ways where both people are very hurt/drained by the relationship. It’s often not a relationship that’s meant to be long-term, but it’s a very significant one nonetheless. You will never forget anyone who you have this synastry with, as it is THAT intense. I’ve honestly seen this play out as unrequited love. But it’s funny because usually one person likes the other more, and the other wants to run away/sabotage the relationship (Venus person) . However, they come to realize that they do in fact have feelings for the North Node person, but by the time they realize this, the North Node person is completely over it, or feels as if they are 2nd best etc.. so the cycle continues. Venus conjunct North Node synastry produces a very cat and mouse, on again/off again dynamic.
People who have Lilith in the 7th house often have exes who can’t let them go. Alternatively, they are sometimes the ones who can’t let their exes go.
Your 4th house (IC) can also show how other people perceive your upbringing. For example, if you have a Taurus IC other people can think you come from money, or you grew up quite financially well-off. (Whether this is true or not, this is how people perceive your childhood).
I will still be doing paid chart readings for the next 3 weeks before I close them indefinitely 🤍 link is in my bio 🤍
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