#need a bin to carry groceries home with me
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summary: in which cruel fate leads you and jungkook to bright places.
> fluff, a little twinge of angst? / wc: 4.2k
> warnings: none really. but if you’ve read the grocery store drabble, you really get lost in this one. hehe
note: oc!!! stop making him worry like this. cries in i love sweet boy jungkook sooo much. + i enjoyed writing this :[ <3 listened to cigs after sex while i was at it. and as you can tell i got very. carried away. scratches head. researching about pokemon bread was also kind of fun?
—
love is selfless— it’s what they often say. however, on his way home from work, jungkook finds himself admitting his ugly truth: he is selfish. when he arrives at your shared space, he will tangle his limbs with yours and let you drag him across the floor to wherever it is you need to go. he will hold on to you, and never let go. he will abandon the concept of time at the farthest corner of his mind, along with his exhaustive musings and responsibilities. instead, he will be consumed by you.
and sometimes, he finds that the telepathy connecting the two of you is baffling.
because he’s definitely not thinking about anything else but you. he’s scouring the entire apartment for any trace of life, but you’re nowhere to be found. the bed is still made. the bathroom lights are off. the pillows on the couch are organized. the center table is spotless. the kitchen is clean. he opens the trash bin, and the last thing tossed in there is still the egg tray he discarded this morning. he checks the laundry room, but the only clothes of yours in the laundry basket are from yesterday.
he ends up deciding that you’re not playing hide-and-seek with him like he originally thought. he sits on the counter top, anxiously playing with his lipring as he calls your number. again. and again. and again.
you did tell him earlier that you were going to visit the library, but it already closed an hour ago, so you should be home by now. moreover, if you were going to drop by other places, you would’ve updated him that you’d be home later at night. but you didn’t. the last text you sent him was a captured photo of page 73, an overview about thyme. you reminded him that he once mentioned that he wanted to grow some herbs in your balcony, so you’re doing some old-fashioned research about them in the library.
and thank heavens you answer the call on his fifth try, because he’s about to have a breakdown in the middle of your kitchen.
“jungkook!”
not to be dramatic, but if he was standing, his knees would’ve collapsed on the tiled floor at the sound of your voice. he swallows the lump in his throat, breathes deeply to unload the weight sitting on his chest.
“where are you?”
“oh, right! about that-” you chuckle nervously, and he can already imagine you tapping your foot against the floor. “wait. let me just-”
“how long? i can’t wait. i miss you. tell me where you are and i’ll pick you up.” he hops off the counter, making a beeline to the front door.
“yes, pick me up. please. i’m not sure where i am exactly but i just checked and my location is still turned on with you.”
oh shit. the location feature. why didn’t he think of that? and what do you mean by-
he pauses on his tracks, car keys back in his hand not even twenty minutes since he got off his car. “baby, how do you not know where you are?”
“uhm, i fell asleep in the bus . . . then i panicked and got off because i thought i missed my stop. but you’re not gonna believe what happened next!”
he squeezes his eyes shut, fingers massaging his temple because he has a bad feeling about this. “okay. try me.”
“i realized i actually got on the wrong bus. stupid, right?” you giggle through the phone speaker, and it’s both endearing and ridiculous that you can still laugh in this situation.
nevermind that, he’s just relieved that you’re safe.
“i walked for a while and found this convenience store with a charging station. i emptied my battery trying to book a taxi but none accepted me!”
your whiny voice makes him smile, although he looked forward to hearing it more when he planned to be disgustingly clingy and affectionate.
“i’ll go, baby. just wait for me there, okay?” he presses the down button, waiting for the elevator to arrive.
“okaaay.” you reply in a sing-song voice.
he puts you on speaker mode when he enters, checking on your location to see how far you’ve strayed from home. you got on the wrong bus. no mistake about that.
“you’re an hour and three minutes away.”
he hears you choke out a cough from the other line, most probably on a drink. “an hour?! by foot, right?”
“no,” he chuckles. late night drives with you aren’t new, so he doesn’t mind it one bit. “by car.”
silence fills the air for a few seconds. “then i’ll drive on the way back. i’m about to eat ramyeon so i’ll be energized!”
“let’s see if i get too tired to drive. just stay on the phone for me, okay?”
“wait- i’m hungry. need to go put hot water in my noodles. let’s switch to video call.”
when he accepts the video call, he’s greeted by the candy and chocolate shelf in landscape view. you probably propped up your phone on the charging station, so he adjusts his phone’s position to match yours. and you . . . are nowhere to be found. again.
he’s already driving out on the road when you appear on his screen. you smile at him, waving the chopsticks in your hand.
“i’ll do a live mukbang for you in a few minutes.”
he takes a brief glance, memorizing the way you look before reverting his attention to the road. a small smile grows on his face, a huge wave of love flooding his system. “you look so pretty today.”
“thank you. it took me thirty minutes to pick out my outfit.” you chirp happily before revealing the hand hidden behind your back, holding up a special item you stumbled upon during your little adventure. “look what i found! do you want it?”
“what is it?” he asks as he makes a turn.
“team rocket’s pokemon bread. it’s chocolate.” you inspect the bread again to confirm that you’re correct. “it’s the last one on the shelf so i just bought it.”
his eyes widen in surprise, lips forming an ‘o’. he personally knows many people who have been visiting stores until the late hours to buy them. it’s all the rage nowadays.
“oh? you actually found one?!”
“don’t you think fate led me here for this?” you gush excitedly.
he finally stops at a red light, taking a good look at you with fondness. “you’re giving it to me?”
“yes. enjoy it, okay? i walked in boots for this.” you point at the camera threateningly.
so adorable. he misses you so much.
he obediently crosses his fingers to forge a promise. “i won’t leave a single crumb uneaten.”
“good boy,” you poke the camera as if you’re booping his nose. “i left my food too long. i’ll go get my overcooked ramyeon now.”
you disappear again, and he resumes his journey leading to you. you return moments later, devouring a cup of ramyeon. you’re holding it with some tissue paper. you were never really good with touching hot things— you drop them without thinking twice . . . which is a health hazard.
and it stays like that for a little while. as jungkook drives, he looks at you and the navigation guide every now and then. just to make sure he’s turning to the correct lefts and rights as the voice says; and to give himself the assurance that you didn’t stray somewhere else again. you, on the other hand, is too focused on your food to give your boyfriend a smidge of attention. that’s how mukbang asmr is, right? only eating sounds?
the cashier is probably thinking of you funny for eating infront of your boyfriend via video call in a public place. you couldn’t care less. it’s been a long day, and staying still in this small corner of the earth feels oddly comforting.
you’re in the middle of sipping down the leftover broth at the bottom of the cup when you hear movement from the aisle behind you. being nosy as you are, you find yourself taking a peek. you take quick and light steps back to jungkook to tell him about what you saw.
“babe, they’re restocking the pokemon breads. i’m the only person left here.” you whisper with one hand covering your mouth from the side, as if you’re sharing a secret. “i’ll buy more.”
he unconsciously copies the gesture and the volume of your voice. “do they have the other flavors too?”
“yes. keep driving safe. be right back.”
you dash to the other aisle, and jungkook and the long row of kitkats play a staring contest in the middle of traffic yet again.
familiar with your nature, it is entertaining to watch you participate in the pokemon bread hunt out of the blue. very on-brand and-
“so competitive.” he laughs to himself.
—
“hi!” you beam at the camera, hugging the paper bag inhabited by your new prized possessions. “uh, we have eight in total. i bought one of each flavor so there’s two team rocket now. and three jigglypuff bread just because- um-”
jungkook stifles his laughter. oh, of course you did.
“it’s so cute. i couldn’t help myself.” you sigh, slightly feeling guilty. other people do hoard them and buy everything off the shelf, so you think about that to feel less bad about taking all the jigglypuffs.
fuck. if you’re being this cute over a jigglypuff bread, he might just have to join everyone and do convenience store raids, too.
“you’re kind for still leaving some. i saw a person in the internet buy all the pokemon breads in the store they went to.”
“right?! i saw that, too.” you exclaim, relieved that you had the same thought as him.
“did you get me my pikachu, though?”
“of course. pikachu must always be present!” you answer proudly as you unplug your phone after seeing that it’s already at 50%. “i’m getting bored here. there’s a thrift shop just beside this, so i’ll go see if they’re still opened.”
jungkook drums his fingers on the steering wheel, following a beat he’s making up on the spot. “alright. i’m only fifteen minutes away, so don’t go anywhere else.”
”yes, sir.”
“and don’t end the call.”
“i won’t. you’ll miss me.”
he clicks his tongue before sighing, expressing his frustrating sorrow. “i already do.”
—
the air from outside is warmer, and it engulfs you the second you pull the door open. it makes your skin feel sticky and uncomfortable. the thought of going back inside enters your mind, but the idea gets shot down immediately after. might get tempted to buy more bread.
the thrift shop heavily contrasts the vivid conveniece store. there is no door. racks of pre-loved clothing greet you by the entrance, leading to more of them inside. a lone warm lightbulb illuminates the cramped space, hanging in the middle of the dirty white ceiling. and the smell. oh, the smell— it causes nostalgia to rush throughout your body.
a woman emerges from the wooden counter. she’s in her 50s, if you had the guess. you make eye-contact, and her kind eyes eases your uncertainty about whether you’re allowed to enter or not.
“you can still look around if you want. i’m just cleaning before i close up.”
“oh, thank you!” you politely bow before approaching the long rack of shirts and long-sleeves against the wall. you’ve been eyeing them since the moment you arrived.
left with no other choice, you leave the paper bag of pokemon breads on the floor, under one of the racks. you carefully lean your phone against a shoe on the shelf above it, just a little higher than your eye-level. you smile unbeknownst to yourself. your jungkook looks extra handsome when driving. while he admittedly has a short attention span, he’s very focused on the road when he’s behind the wheel.
you’re already browsing through the clothes when he glances at his phone. he can only see half your face, but he also hears your fast hands pushing back the hanger of the ones that don’t capture your interest.
your love for shopping doubled when you entered a relationship with jungkook, because purchasing items you think he like or need also brings you an unexplainable joy. it’s not limited to clothes or accessories. for example, you bought him white and blue acrylic paint two months ago because you noticed that he used them all up for a project.
after more or less ten minutes, there are already two t-shirts and one sweater hanging on your forearm. one of the t-shirt is yours. it matches with one of your trousers that you barely wear.
you’ve walked past the camera frame when you stumble upon a black bomber jacket, looking so cool and brand-new, which explains why it’s a bit on the pricier side. and you know jungkook has a lot of other black jackets back at home, but you just can’t help yourself because it reminds you so much of him.
it’s so jungkook. you can’t allow it to live in another person’s closet.
you approach the counter with the clothes you picked out. the woman halts her sweeping outside, leaving the broom against the wall before wiping her hands on her long skirt, the floral print noticeably faded with time. you hastily grab the belongings you left unattended, putting your phone’s microphone on mute to keep your little surprise.
there’s no paper bills left in your wallet after spending all your money on food and clothes. with a grimace, you drop it inside your bag. you were only supposed to go to the library today, spend a little money on bus fare and lunch. perhaps, spontaneously add in a little snack in between. however, this is called spontaneity out of hand.
“are these for your boyfriend’s birthday?” the woman asks in a hushed, yet teasing, voice as she folds up the jacket.
two pairs of eyes fall on the phone you’re holding, and you smile sheepishly. “i’m trying to make everyday his birthday.”
“he’s very handsome. you better take good care of him!”
you cover your face in embarrassment, silently laughing. “we take good care of each other! he’s coming to pick me up because i couldn’t find a taxi.”
“oh dear, are you new here?” she stuffs the jacket in the big plastic bag, along with the other clothes you bought. “there’s barely any taxis here after 9pm. everyone just walks. many complaints about it, but good exercise for my rusty bones when they ask me.”
“i’ll keep that in mind for next time.” you wrap your left arm around the bag of clothes, sliding it off the counter until you’re carrying its full weight. “thank you again. have a great night! and stay healthy!”
you stumble on the single step leading outside because the weight of the breads and clothes are unbalanced. thankfully, you make it out of the shop without a scratch. the woman bids you a safe trip and picks up the broom, the melancholia of night-time quietness blanketing her home once again.
you look down at your phone to find that the video call with jungkook has ended, but before you can question him, a familiar voice sings your name from a close distance.
“jungkook!” you call out to him, crossing the distance between you in high spirits. “you really came for me!”
jungkook shakes his head in disbelief. “you really thought i’d leave you here stranded? you always make me worried.”
“i never do it on purpose.” you frown, shoulders sagged with guilt.
“that makes it more worrisome.” he breathes out a sigh. “come here. i missed you.”
“i want to hug you, but my hands are full.”
he takes a step forward and wraps his arms around you, squeezing you in a tight embrace. he feels you give a chaste kiss to his jaw before leaning your cheek on his shoulder, and just like that, his anxiety melts away. your favorite perfume invades his sense of smell. as a person with a sensitive nose, many perfumes often give him a headache. he is in love with yours. it’s sweet and subtle; it feels like coming home.
“i was so excited to come home but you weren’t there.”
“i’m sorry for always making you worry. i’ll be more mindful next time.” you apologize to him with a kiss on the cheek, and you feel it rise against your lips when he smiles. “oh no, wait. the bread- they’re going to get all mushed up.”
he reluctantly untangles himself from you, taking away the heavy load you’re carrying without you having to ask. this is when you swiftly snatch the car keys from his hand.
“i want to drive this time.”
he breathes out a sigh of relief. “oh my god, thank you. i’m getting sleepy.”
—
it’s impossible not to quickly look over to the passenger seat when a bright flash fills the vehicle. surprise, surprise! instead of sleeping, jungkook is taking pictures of the packs of pokemon bread he eagerly arranged on his lap.
“that flash is brighter than the sun.”
he throws a thumbs-up with an overly enthusiastic voice. “samsung!”
you swear, every chance he gets he promotes thei-
“don’t you dare steal my jigglypuff.”
he raises his arms in surrender, making balloons with his cheeks. “i just didn’t know they were strawberry flavored. i’m tasting team rocket’s chocolate rolls first. namjoon-hyung likes it.”
he carefully tears it from the other side to keep team rocket’s image unharmed. he takes a bite from the choco roll, and feeds the remaining half to you.
“mhmmm.” he hums, eyebrows furrowed in sheer delight. “it’s so good? i’m glad you bought another.”
he divides another roll in the middle. he munches on his share as he waits for you to finish your first bite. while he does as such, he suddenly perks up when he remembers the story he was supposed to tell you.
“i saw a group of guys enter the convenience store when i arrived earlier. they were looking for pokemon bread, too.”
“how’d you know?”
“i heard one of them say ‘this one better have the gastly bread or i will cry.’” he imitates the stranger’s deep voice speaking in a whiny manner. “it was funny.”
“then he’s probably on his way home crying now.” your giggles create a harmony.
that store did not have gastly bread, unfortunately.
—
“moment of truth.”
jungkook locates the pokemon sticker after you finish the rest of the bread. you wait with bated breath as he unveils the first out of eight stickers.
he gasps as he comes face-to-face with- “it’s snorlax! number 143 . . . 143.” he freezes as he scans his memory for the special meaning of the number code. “doesn’t that mean ‘i love you’?”
“it does,” you confirm with a grin. “i told you it was fate! isn’t it the best love confession?”
while living with you is a type of intimacy he values greatly, and protects everyday, getting lost in unfamiliar places with you has a charm of its own. it’s one of the days when he allows himself to say: jungkook, you lived well today.
he presses the sticker on your cheek, giving you a kiss through snorlax. “i love you, too.”
—
“since we can’t finish all these bread tonight, we’ll open the rest tomorrow.” jungkook announces as he sets down the plastic bag on the floor. in the meantime, snorlax is kept in his wallet for safety purposes.
he carries the clothes to his lap next, curious eyes and curious hands taking out the items one by one. he squeaks a sound of amazement. “you found quite a lot in that shop.”
“they had a lot of good stuff. i got the dark green-ish shirt. the rest are for you.”
he holds the baby blue sweater by the shoulders, letting the rest of it unfold and hang suspended in the air. “this one is so pretty.”
“oh! i really like that one. might borrow it a lot.”
“you’d look pretty in it. especially in the winter.” he says fondly. the mental image of you wearing it surrounded by snow is making him miss the season that just passed.
you pout. “but i got it for you. so wear it more than me.”
“i will. i want to wear it to work right after laundry day.” you beam in contentment, and he pats your head appreciatively. “you’re so fucking cute, baby. thank you for buying it for me.”
the black jacket catches his attention next, and the galaxies in his eyes sparkle as he takes in its the details and overall appearance. “this is totally my style! how does it look so brand-new?”
“right? it’s a steal so i had to buy it!”
jungkook chews on his bottom lip, a conscious effort to restrain himself from attacking you with hugs and kisses. buying treats and gifts for each other on random days— it’s grown to be a second nature in your relationship. this is why you always go on trips on birthdays and anniversaries instead of buying big gifts. he loves that there’s no pressure, and the element of surprise never fades. he loves that he knows what you like, and you know what he likes. a huge part of what makes him who he is has permanently resided in who you are, and vice versa. he will carry you with him for the rest of his life, just like the food he learned to love because his childhood friend forced him to have a bite, and how he adds a bar on top of the letter J because it reminds him of the number 7.
so from now on, he will refuse to wear any other jacket but the one you bought him, and he will think of you every time the sky is baby blue.
“i think this is going to be one of those clothes i’d wear all the time. like the first sneakers you got me.”
“oh god,” you chuckle at the old memory. if people didn’t know he was rich, they would’ve thought he only had one pair of shoes. “you really wore those out.”
“that’s how much i loved it!”
“okay, but you need to wash it before wearing it.”
“i’ll wake up earlier to do laundry.” he starts planning out his day inside his head as he folds up the clothes to put back inside the bag. but then he traces his thoughts two hours backwards, and he is reminded physical affection he’s been craving the whole day.
“can we cuddle when we get home?”
“of course, my love.” you raise an eyebrow in question. “when do we not cuddle?”
“i just missed you a lot today.” he sighs, turning over to his side to look at you. perhaps, also to memorize the street lights reflecting on your face, and how your beige cardigan has slipped down your shoulder. oh, the urge to write a song at this magical moment.
“what’s wrong? did anything bad happen today?” pure concern adorns your voice. you hate it when he’s sad. so much. you want to shield him from everything bad in the world.
“nothing.” his face starts to feel flushed, one of the dead giveaways that he’s emotional. “i just love you, that’s all. you get it, right?”
you have never been more grateful to meet a light that just turned red.
you solely focus on him momentarily, combing his hair with your fingers because it always helps him to relax. “feeling a little overwhelmed, is that it?”
he only nods as a reply. he catches your hand in his to give your knuckles a kiss, plushy lips caressing the tough bones of your doting hand.
“we’re almost home. wanna cuddle in the bathtub?” you propose when you recognize the familiar scenery through his window. the promising comfort and safety of your home causes exhaustion to come crashing down on you. your muscles are suffering the consequences of your actions, and therefore, are asking for compensation.
jungkook seems to be relishing in the idea, doe eyes sparkling instead of shining with unshed tears. “please, that sounds nice. but i’m sorry for when i fall asleep in there.”
—
you laugh nervously as you enter your parking lot. you do have your license, but you don’t drive very often. maybe three times a month at most. you find driving to be energy consuming despite being seated, so you much prefer commuting because it also serves as your rest time before and after attending to your duties.
“i need to reverse park before we can get into the bathtub, so you have to help me.”
and yes, additionally, you just simply hate reverse parking with burning passion.
“why do you hate reverse parking so much?” your boyfriend asks out of curiosity.
good question.
“i know we have cameras now, but i’m still always scared of bumping into other cars.”
he flashes you his old-fashioned captivating smirk, resting his hand behind the driver’s seat. what makes it funnier is that you’re not even looking. you’re too preoccupied with finding your parking space.
he raises his eyebrows teasingly, doe eyes turning into small slits as they do when he’s playfully flirting. “you don’t have to be scared of such thing, baby. i’ll pay for the damages.”
“you’re jinxing it! i’ll definitely mess up that ferrari now!”
—
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Goretober 2022 Day 31: Soulmates pt. 1
[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
The sixth time we met, I ran into you while you were grocery shopping.
I’d already found you, and had been keeping track of you and your blog for about a month. I’d already found your IP address, all your passwords to your emails and other accounts, and your bank information. It was pretty easy to figure out your schedule from all that. You’ve said it yourself in multiple timelines- you’re a creature of habit. You like doing the same things over and over again, which works out great for me. I figured out your sleep and work schedules based on when you made posts, and looking at your credit card statement, I knew you went grocery shopping at the same supermarket, on the same day, around the same time every week. I knew that was one of the few places that I could run into you and I would get to see you up close and in-person for the first time again, since pretty much everything else was shut down by then.
When I spotted you, you were in the produce section. I knew it was you right away- your heart-print sweater, something like you wore during the fifth time we were together, was a dead give-away. Heh, you were shorter than I’d expected, but it looked like you were still pretty sturdy under those oversized clothes… I got closer, trying to look casual, pretending to browse through the bins until I managed to side-saddle up against your cart and get a good look at you. You had big eyes with long lashes, pale skin, dark hair that was longer and more wild than I’d ever seen you wear it… it looks good on you. I really like it… do you mind if I…?
…
Uh, okay, maybe later… well, I couldn’t see if you had your lip piercing or crooked teeth, since that bug’s been going around and everyone is wearing masks, but I didn’t need to. The mask you were wearing had a printed-on smile that looked exactly like the one you had the fourth time I found you. It was really, really cute to see it on you in person… You were holding a box of strawberries, and you carefully inspected them before you put them in your cart. Food quality is important to you, just like the second time we were together…. That’s why I double-checked that everything I got for us to eat while we’re here is really fresh! We just have to actually, ya’know… eat it… before it goes bad…?
….
[sigh]
While you did that, I was staring at you... I couldn’t help it, I was so, so happy to see you, Mitchie… I wanted to call you by your name, give you a big hug, and tell you how much I’d missed you and how much I love you… I think you noticed. You glanced up at me, and from what I could tell, you smiled at me from under your mask before you carried on with your routine grocery shopping trip….
Eheh, did you recognize me? Huh? C’mon, you can tell me…
….
Anyway… I trailed behind you, watching you be you…. It wasn’t hard, because you were so focused on the task at hand, and you took a very predictable route through the store. Produce, dry goods, then refrigerated stuff, so they wouldn’t be left out at room temperature for too long… You checked your list often and compared prices on everything, and I took note of what you picked up so I would know what to get for when I brought you here. I know you like to eat the same things a lot… I made sure to make special notes about the things you put back while shaking your head, probably because they were 'too expensive' for you to justify buying for yourself. I wanted to treat you, since this is a really special occasion…~
I noticed you picked up a lot of produce and fresh meat, but not a lot of ready-made or snack food- I was happy to see that you were taking care of yourself and that you cooked at home, because it meant we would be able to cook together again while we were here… if you want to…
.......
… You did get more caffeinated drinks than I wanted you too, but I wasn’t really surprised, since that’s a habit you have a lot…. You picked up a bottle of vodka and a bottle of wine, but only one of each, which was honestly a relief… Don’t get me wrong, I loved you when you were a big drinker, but it got … kind of out of hand, sometimes….
While you did your rounds, I heard you talking to yourself about what you needed to buy, and you said ‘excuse me’ and ‘thank you’ to the staff and fellow shoppers you passed, like, a lot. I’m glad that you’re so polite in this timeline, too, but also happy that you don’t take as much shit as you have before… My favorite part of watching you during that trip was when I saw you find an empty aisle, and you took a running start and rode your cart down it, after you’d looked both ways to make sure you wouldn’t run into anyone. Fun and spontaneous, but also cautious and considerate… I also noticed that sometimes, you’d hold your fist out a little at your side, almost like you were holding the hand of someone that wasn’t there… I wanted to reach out and take it, but that would have kinda blown my cover… [laughing]
When you’d checked everything off your list, I watched you go through the checkout. You made polite chit-chat with the cashier and used some coupons- frugal- but you didn’t fuss when a few of them didn’t work- you’re understanding, too….
I followed you out into the parking lot to see you off, but I saw an opportunity to sneak into the back seat of your car and hide myself under some of the trash and stuff on the floor, like the first time we were together, while you were putting your cart back. You got caught up organizing the other carts that other people hadn’t bothered to put away properly- You don’t like when people aren’t considerate, just like the first time, and I think I saw you bitching to yourself about it the whole time you were doing it, just like you would have the second time…
When you got in the car, you fastened your seatbelt first-thing, and while you drove, you used your turn signal and followed the speed limit and you talked shit about some other motorists that weren’t being courteous. You also belted out the lyrics to the music you played- it was a lot like how you drove the first and second time, except now, you sometimes looked over at the passengers seat and smiled at nothing…. I wanted so badly to crawl up to the front and sing with you in the car again… but I’m patient. We can do that when I take you back home later…
When you got home from your shopping trip, I snuck out of your car while you were carrying bags of groceries up to your apartment. The number of bags you grabbed at a time confirmed my theory that you were strong this time, but I still wished I could have helped you with them…
I kept watching through the windows of your apartment all night so I could get a glimpse of you being you in your natural habitat, like I got to see the fifth time. You came out on your porch in the evening with a mug of something- probably coffee, liked you tend to like- and smoked weed out of a big glass bong, a lot like the one you had the third time. You looked like you were feeling pretty good, and when you went back inside, I watched you pacing back and forth for about 45 minutes straight. It reminded me of the walks we used to take in my room the fourth time we were together…. You were staring off at nothing while you did that, talking and gesturing to no one. And then, you sat down for a while, and a new post about me appeared on your blog. I realized you must have been daydreaming of me while you were pacing, just like I used to daydream about you during our ‘walks’, and like how we daydreamed about each other in just about every timeline before our honeymoons began in them….
You stayed up late- you’re a night owl, like you usually are- and I stayed there watching until you went to sleep. Then, I crawled back into the back seat of your car to get some rest, and I drifted off imagining that I was in your bed with you, and you’d kissed me goodnight before you turned out the lights…
I know it’s been hard on you, but thanks to the quarantine making you stay home where I could watch you, and you posting on your blog all the time about all the things you imagined and remembered doing with me to cope, I was able to learn a lot about this version of you, and I was able to put all of this together for us. I wanted to make sure everything was perfect… a perfect place for the two of us to spend our sixth honeymoon together… the perfect getaway to where we always wanted to go on vacation, where it could be just the two of us, having fun and spending time together doing whatever we want to do… and then, when our time together ends, I’ll be gone, you’ll be able to go right back to your life. After October, this’ll all just be a memory that feels like a dream, like none of it ever happened….
That’s all I want from this, Mitchie. Please, please let me do that for us… we don’t have a lot of time left. Let’s just make the most of it, okay…?
[END TRANSCRIPT]
#the staycation 🏡💙#tw yandere#tw stalking#tw drug use#tw kidnapping#tw unreality#tw mental illness#tw infantilization#goretober2022#meet the fishers
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Tight Knit.
(TLDR;epic and alisa meet blu and Cross,read Close Your Eyes first.)
I had woken up quite late this day,only waking up once one of the other kids in the building had jumped onto me,forcing me awake,
I didn't yell or get mad at them however,they were having fun and I was not one to stop someone having so much fun.
I pushed them off as i got up from bed,ushering them out and closing my door before i changed my clothes,heading down to the kitchen to meet up with my mother;a kind rabbit woman that took me under her wing after my foster parents dropped me off here,her adopting me not too long after that incident.
"Mom,"i had called out as i was heading into the itchen,as to not startle the poor woman currently working over the stove,
"I'm sorry for sleeping in so late,what are you making?"I asked as I walked over to see what she was cooking,wiping the sleep from my eyes as I did so.
"It's just Grilled cheese,for we need to go get some groceries for the house"she said in return to my question;what she said was true,the kids in the orphanage were quite savage when it came to food and they went through our supplies quite quickly.
She set the finished sandwiches on the table and called down all the kids that were hungry,before turning to one of the eldest and left them in charge of the house,before turning and putting her coat on,
Urging me to follow as she headed off to grab her bag and put her shoes on,getting me to put my shoes on as we headed out the front door.
She made sure I stayed close to her as we headed into town,knowing how some people in the town didn't take all too kindly to our species and such,and probably would take off with me if she let me wander off for even a second;and in such we headed to do our shopping,being as quick as possible as we did so.
"Epic,"she said to me as we were waiting on some meat to be cut,"can you hurry and grab some potatoes?"she asked me,and smiled once I nodded,
I turned and hurried off,being quick to find and grab a few bags of potatoes before hurrying back to my mother,not enjoying how the store goers stared at me.
We paid and left not too long afterwards,going to head to another store before heading home,
I heard something and stopped in front of an alley. My mother seemed to stop as well and explain that the store was just around the corner and that it would be close enough for me to be by myself,
I watched her leave before stepping into the alley and walking forward just a bit,noticing two forms dozing off against the large bin in said alleyway;'huh,two children?' I asked myself and glanced around to see if their parents were nearby.
I froze when the taller of the two looked at me,and rushed off to go receive my mother,who came back with me to see the situation,
She handed the bags to me as she walked over and picked up the two children up from the ground,the taller falling asleep against her in the process,
We shared a glance before we turned and headed back to our home,carrying the children in and to my room,where she laid them down in my bed.
She then took the bags from me and instructed me to sit and wait for them to awake,to see if we could find their parents or any other family members either might have,
I took my boots off and sat down on the far end of my bed,watching over the two now sleeping soundly in my bed.
It took quite a while longer,around 3 hours later,before the taller one woke back up and glanced at me;pretty much jolting back up into a sitting position and pushing himself back against my headrest,looking quite scared,
I reached out to try and calm him down,only to get my hand bitten into,where I then rubbed the back of the boy's head in an attempt to calm him down.
I called out for my mother when the boy had awoken,her coming into my room around 5 minutes later with a plate of food,sitting with me and questioning the boy who had now let go of my hand;
We came to the realization that they didn't have any immediate family that we could contact.
My mother handed the boy who told us his name was 'Blu',him saying that the kid next to him is 'cross,the plate of food.
It seems,we gained a new set of members to the family today.
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I almost started throwing shit today and telling everyone what I really think
We talked about a calm and peaceful Christmas. But a month ago my Aunt ended up in the hospital. Several states away. She's been sick for no less than 2 years and has refused to go to the Dr. She had been taking massive amounts of Imodium. It was no longer working. She couldn't stand up without it not working. She and my Uncle left for their winter local anyway. Their WI ter local where no one is. No family or friends to help if they are in trouble. We'll it all hit the fan and surprise, she has cancer and is not able to travel home. I will spare the details but my Aunt and Uncle are in the running for a Darwin award.
All this is hitting my Mom hard because she has NO control. She HAS to have control. She calls it she can't ' help' but really she can't be there yelling at everyone and making a scene because her health won't allow it. But she talks to her brother nightly, and he apparently can't be bothered to get a notebook to write down the Dr names or what meds they want to prescribe his wife. Nope not heartless I am pissed at the stupidity. He literally said oh its another thing for me to carry.
Dude, if you want my sympathy because you love your wife so much, and now someone told you she is dying because apparently you were too stupid to notice before now, try not to tell me that carrying a fucking notebook to take notes about her care is too much for you!
He actually expects his sister, my mother, to take and maintain the information for him. My mother is not a well woman.
I know she wants to support him but fuck HE WANTS HER TO JUST DEAL WITH IT FOR HIM. HE COULDNT HELP HIS OWN MOTHER AND LEFT IT ALL ON MY MOTHER WTF
This brings us to Christmas. About 3 weeks ago my Mom decided our quiet 3 person Christmas was now a party.
She wants to have her niece over to give her something happy while her mother I so ill.
Saint, right?
Queue 3 weeks of how hard life is trying to get ready for party
3 weeks if what I have to do for party
3 weeks of my husband bitching that my cousin will bring her boy friend he hates to Christmas. Which includes 3 weeks of I'm not going
All while I must work to pay all our bills which include about $700 of beer a month and another couple hundred of cash back from grocery shopping to be used on scratch off lotteries
Did I mention I work in the 7th circle of Hell?
So we had the party. I got yelled at randomly for the sin of asking a question while my Mom was walking. Not a "wait I need to finish waht I was doing" A basic how can you be so fucking stupid as to ask me where something is in my house while I am walking through the kitchen. I got yelled at because I could not produce shredded cheddar cheese from one of the fridge bins. It wasnt there. I started to look in the other and got screamed at because I was looking in the wrong bin why wasnt I listening? She just sat down!!! Cheese was in the bin I was looking in. I got attitude for that. I did not move the cheese BTW.
There was some other drama that resulted in me being told that this is why one should always start early in case things go wrong (apparently I started something late). Don't remember what as I think I've begun to dissociate
People loved the party. I didn't put stuff away quick enough which I was passive aggressively told in front of some of the guests.
Also - this is the coldest Christmas in 30 years means. All the presents had to be distributed prior to Xmas because we may get snow ( we didnt) but basically, xmas morning was nothing. Just I got up late, and I didn't tell Mom that there is meat in Lasagne. So she had no meat. We talked. She got confused or forgot or whatever. She isn't having dangerous forgetfulness, just run of the mill she doesn't pay attention which is one of her lovable traits. Thank goodness the grocery store was open because the husband started bitching that I can't make lasagne with no meat. Vegetarians beg to differ Dear, but sure I will get dressed and run to the store in Xmas day.
Then I clearly didn't start dinner early enough. And my husband proceeds to tell I was using the wrong amount of sauce. Also my list of sins included:
Wanting to cook 2 boxes of pasta instead of one. Not getting a pot with a lid out for meatballs (we had meatballs, but I couldn't leave the meat out of the lasagne). He kept up a running commentary in the gas stove top as well.
I also had to help Mom operate Netflix because in 3 years, she still doesn't get it dispite multiple lessons and load pictures to Facebook, also 3 years and multiple lessons while making lasagne.
Cool cool - but I almost lost it
Everyone liked dinner. I did dishes.
And now the cable company is raising prices and I must read letter to figure it out. I 'made' her change cable plans. No no, my Dad died and I said she needed faster internet so if she needed me I could also work remotely at her house. I said I would pay. She won't take money. Cable compa y said - oh if you make changes you have to change everything (i.e. GOTCHA !! Pay us more that plan doesn't exist anymore and you can't just change your internet)
But yeah so now she has a plan price and the price increases are a la carte and not all components of her plan are in the a la carte list. So it's sorta impossible to see what the increase will be. It was determined that I HAD to read this tonight
Fuck I'm tired. And I don't know the answers but I really think a good scream is in order. Except that will wake everyone up and I don't have the energy to explain.
Merry Christmas
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Service.
I started working in the service industry during the pandemic. I needed to because I had to stay afloat and a friend of mine got me a job at a local hotel restaurant as a host. The job was a few blocks from my house and lasted for a year. I wanted to move on from Hosting to being a server but there was just no room for me there.
(I have learned more about myself and people working in the service industry than I ever have at school or in any kind of relationship I have had. This is not a negative thing by any means, it is very positive because what I learned helped me learn more about myself and how my actions affect others.)
So on I went and got another gig, at the encouragement of my boss. He gave me a glowing reference and I stayed at the next gig for 6 months working as a server/hostess and sometimes bartender until they went to counter service and laid off their entire waitstaff and trimmed their kitchen too. A decision they made to be able to keep the restaurant alive during very trying times after the government subsidy ran out.
From this gig I went back to another hotel, further from home, one with a long history, training manuals and a lot to remember and facilitate as a host. I work there 3-4 days a week and usually work in the studio 1 day a week and carry my camera and shoot on the street the rest of the time. I keep a sketchbook at home for evenings when I keep my continuous line drawing practice going. I buy sketchbooks from the dollar store and pencils and pens there too. Lately, I have been picking up some groceries there too.
Before the pandemic, I was keeping my creative pursuits afloat by working as a photographer’s assistant. I had my name on a couple of large rental houses in town and I would get gigs when photographers came to town and needed a hand. There is a small group of really great assistants here in Vancouver and I was really lucky to work with a lot of them over the few years I did it full-time. It also taught me a lot.
Some people assume a lot about my life but the truth is I have always kept a job that has supported my creative pursuits. A job that has covered all of my monthly bills and enabled me to focus on creating commercial photo work and mural work. The goal is to not need the serving gigs anymore and make my entire income from my photography and mural work. I choose not to assist anymore and focus on my goal of working commercially, the service jobs keep me afloat so I can keep this goal in mind. It’s my focus.
I submit to Vogue every week, stay up late every Sunday evening or set an alarm to submit at 11:01 pm. I do not get paid by Vogue, it is an open submission and I have only been accepted a few times in 2022. I am hoping for more before the year ends. I will keep trying, keep shooting and keep submitting, it is an evolving practice for me and so far I have 12 images published with them and I like that feather in my cap.
I live lean, don’t own a car, and don’t have any real vices except thrift shopping and often I don’t spend on that because the amount of clothing I find makes up for what I would have spent in a thrift shop. Even when I do go and decide to spend money on items I am very discerning about what I decide to purchase and at what price point. I take the bus, and EVO’s around town or ride my bicycle or walk. I take books out of the library and often shop from the day-old produce bin at Kins. The lady knows me there and knows she has been keeping me in smoothies for years. Old fruit blends great and tastes great too.
I took a spot in a shared studio space in January and when the rent went up an extra $100 a couple of months ago I offered to clean it once a month instead of paying the increase and that offer was welcomed. It takes about 3 hours to clean it from stem to stern but I like doing it, it gives me more of a feeling of belonging there. We are a community of artists in the space who all support each other and I really love being a part of it.
I don’t believe in being taken care of, even when I am in a long-term relationship the costs get split, dinners, entertainment, groceries, rent, and travel, split. I don’t believe in someone taking on the bulk of the cost of a partnership because of said partnership. If there is a large skew in earnings then we have figured out what the equal cost is and kept that as a guide until things changed because sometimes they do.
All of this is to say that I work hard to support my creativity and passion and saving money is something I do so that I can travel and take my camera and sketchbook to different parts of the world.
I thought it would be good to share something personal here on the blog. Each week I think about what I am going to say and sometimes the posts write themselves because I have a lot going on and sometimes it’s a grind to keep these balls in the air this week I just wanted to share how that juggling happens.
#Artist#BTS#COVID 19#Deanna Flinn Photography#Doris Land#Every effort helps.#Editorial Photography#Fuji X100F#gratitude#Vogue Italia#hello 2022#In the Luupe#lifestyle photographer#Moving Forward#Blind Contour#Love#Learning
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Blog Post 10 (Week 4)
This challenge is coming to an end, and I wanted to use this post to reflect on what went will for me during the course of these 21 days and what did not. I think it’s important to consider that not everything went the way I intended it too, or it was actually much more difficult than I imagined it would be.
First off, let’s begin with the difficult aspects of this challenge. Honestly, the most difficult thing was sticking to the meal planning idea I had proposed for myself at the beginning of the challenge. At the beginning I would consistently log my lunches and what reusable materials I was packing them in, but as time went on I would forget to plan ahead and write them down. I still packed reusable lunches with little to no plastic, but most of the time it was just some pasta in a thermos. One of the biggest reasons for this happening was my busy schedule. Considering that it is the end of the school year, assignments and such have been picking up, so it was more difficult for me to stick to a creative meal plan because I was either to tired or did not have the time. There were some days where I even forgot to pack myself a lunch because I was so busy with other things. Moving on, not buying unnecessary foods and drinks was much more difficult than I imagined it would be. Majority of the time there was a “do I actually need this or am I just craving it right now?” debate going on in my mind when I would pass the Starbucks that is close to my school. It was especially difficult when I would go to Starbucks with my friends and they would get their drinks and I would have to abstain from buying anything due to the promise I made to myself at the beginning of the challenge. It’s quite interesting that I found it that difficult since I am easily able to make my own coffee at home. Nevertheless, I was successful, and I was even able to save the money since I did not spend it on coffee.
Now, let’s talk about the things that went well. For starters, packing lunches was actually quite easy since I have immediate access to a lot of reusable containers. There were certain instances where I did have a ziploc bag with me, but I found out that if I rinsed the bag out with water after using it I would be able to throw it in the recycling as opposed to the garbage. It’s also nicer to eat things from reusable containers compared to things that are wrapped in a bunch of plastic wrap. Another thing that was really nice was carrying my groceries in a reusable bag. They are much more durable and easy to carry around. Moreover, because I did not buy as many things that I did not need I didn’t need to carry around that many grocery bags like I used to. Which made grocery shopping trips much more convenient. Also, it was really cool to learn more about how to properly recycle, since for many people (including myself) that has not been taught that well in school. As I mentioned in previous posts, even if I was not able to pack a lunch that was fully reusable I was able to recycle certain parts of it that I would have just thrown out before. Now after doing this challenge I realized how important education around what plastics can be recycled and how to properly recycle them. In the long run the best things about this challenge was the amount of money I saved and the new habits I picked up that have allowed me to be more mindful of the plastic that is in my life and how I was able to reduce it through relatively small actions. It just made me more mindful, which I really appreciated.
This is a photo of one of my apartment’s recycling bins (for my floor).
This won’t be my final post, as I plan on making one tomorrow that will close things off with more information going forward. Nevertheless, it was a challenging and memorable ride. I will write again tomorrow.
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#i want 2 go back 2 feeling warm n flowing n loving n caring....... vrything feels so stale & overworked rn i shld have cleaned myroom b4 i#left 2 my moms but i Didnt n now i rlly badly need 2 theres tissues n water bottles n trash Everywhere i have 2 mostly empty boxes of grocer#ies but theyre the big aldis ones so itd b rlly conspicuous 2 take them out of my room n they have food thats wasted in them bc i was gone 4#two whole weeks n also idk if anyone pulled the bins back in from the road evn tho garbage is on thurs so i cant take them out nyway til i c#heck i just.. hate..living here.. i very desperately want to live on my own but i absolutely Need to live with ppl im comfortable around n#im just. not. comfortable here. its too big n theres 2 more roommates than i can handle and everythings covered in a thin layer of grime and#i cant fucking stand it. there hasnt been toilet paper in the bathroom since i got here but ive literally bought every fucking roll since i#got here so im keeping mine in my room n carrying it 2 the br w me when i go and i hate it. the kitchen is a mess to the point where evn tho#i havent eaten since i got here i dont evn want to bring groceries home the counters are never fully clean theres no counter or cupboard spa#ce theres always spills in the fridge and the new roommate put the litter in the back kitchen so evn walking into the fucking kitchen all u#can smell is the litter & its disgusting! i start having breakdowns just @ the thought of leaving my fucking room and i hate it! i pay $550#a fucking month to live in this busy dirty house and theres literally NOTHING cheaper ANYWHERE i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it#b was supposed 2 help me w rent n if he DID id have enough saved to just. fucking get a $650 a month apartment thats entirely mine but he do#esnt n hes between houses rn so i cant ask him and i just :') hate this :') i hate being poor i hate that i need disability i hate that the#gvmt wants me dead so bad they wont pay me a living fucking wage i hate that my brother gets more foodstamps than me & that both my brothers#can find jobs in a second bc their brains arent fucking melting every second of every day & their bodies arent trying to force quit bc they#werent fucking ABUSED NONSTOP AS CHILDREN i hate that im the only one in my family like this i hate that no one fucking listens when i tell#them itll b like this 4 the rest of my life i honest to god wish i wldve died any of the times i committed bc im 2 fucking scared to do it#nymore n i dont have enough of nything left to od but im fucking tired of living like this w no end in sight :')
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FLUFFTOBER DAY 7-MEDDLING FRIENDS
FLUFFTOBER MASTERLIST
Summary: You and Frankie reminisce on old times when the closet door mysteriously locks.
Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader (no Y/N)
Rating: PG (allusions to spice and a smooch)
Words: ~1900 (AO3)
Tags: friends to lovers, trapped in a closet, Santi is a little shit, mentions of service/not coming back, nostalgia
Notes: One week in! Hope everyone’s enjoying--I’m really happy with this one!
It feels nostalgic coming up to the Morales home; Mr. and Mrs. long since retired, moved down to Florida to a community where someone mows their lawn and delivers their groceries. Frankie’s been tasked with his childhood home; pack up what he wants, donate the rest, just get it on the market already. With the promise of pizza and beer, you and the boys happily lend a hand; placing dusty knickknacks in boxes, wrapping once-prized but now outdated porcelain in bubble wrap. Pretty much all of it was going to the VA; the couch where Santi beat Frankie in Mario Kart, the kitchen set where Mrs. Morales made her famous enchiladas for a tableful of hungry teens, the dank basement futon you had spent more than one night on after staying over too late, Mr. Morales refusing to let you drive home in the dark. It would all go to someone who needed it, who was restarting their lives just as your boys had—but you were sad to see it go.
You could hear Will and Benny upstairs arguing—over what, who knows—while Santi was packing away the inset bookshelves, grumbling about the quantity of books the Morales’s kept. Frankie’s clanging in the kitchen, examining pots and pans that may or may not make their way to his house. You’re in the front coat closet; packed to the brim with everything from holiday decorations to clothing donations to—finally, mercifully—coats, each box needs to be opened and turned through before it makes its way into the hallway, only for one of the boys to carry it out to Frankie’s truck.
You hadn’t gone with them when Santi and Frankie joined the Forces; hadn’t asked what they saw when they were there. You only made them promise, no matter what, they’d come back to you somehow. Then they came back with Benny and Will, and the two seemed to fit so seamlessly into your friend group, you’d forgotten they didn’t grow up with you as well. You hear one of the Millers take the boxes outside your closet; the one up on the top shelf, red plastic and labeled “Misc.” proving a bit too heavy, and you call out for the closest help as it threatens to fall on you.
“Santi! Can you help me!”
“Fish, you do it. I’ve got to do…this,” he yells into the kitchen, and you hear the pans fall onto the counter. Your back is turned to Santi, so you miss the smirk he gives Will, watching as Frankie makes his way into the closet.
“Oh, shit, hold on,” he breathes, reaching past you to help you take the bin down. You both whirl around when the door slams behind you; it’s closed on its own despite being propped open before, and Frankie quickly takes a step forward to push the door open with his body strength, but it doesn’t budge.
“Pope! Benny! Not funny!” he yells through the door, and you think you hear the boys snickering. Then Santi speaks to them.
“I tell ya’ what, guys—I think I heard they were having a sale on beer down the road. Maybe we should go grab some before they sell out.” The Millers agree, and you watch Frankie’s shoulders deflate as you hear the front door open and close, then loud retreating laughter, then silence.
Frankie turns to you; under the yellowish closet light, he looks almost angelic, but his face is twisted in torment.
“I’m sorry—this must be some prank on me, and you got caught—”
“Don’t worry about it, Frankie,” you coo, running a hand over his arm in comfort. “Let’s go through this box, then I’m sure they’ll be back and I can kick Santi’s ass.”
Frankie laughs then, settling cross-legged on the floor next to you as you pull the tote open. Inside are various items, truly the definition of miscellaneous; a pair of sunglasses from the 80’s that you quickly don, a cowboy hat that you place on Frankie’s head that he claims he doesn’t know the origin of, a plastic Hawaiian lei that gets thrown around your neck. There are a few trinkets, a dusty photo of your kindergarten tee ball team, some old clothes, then at the bottom, tucked away, is a smaller box. You lift it out to open it in your lap.
A few things jump out at you. A friendship bracelet made of string you had given Frankie at summer camp as young kids, that he wore until it fell off. His old baseball uniform, what you assume is his corsage from prom, dried and pressed. At the bottom, there’s a film strip of you and Frankie at the mall, making silly faces at the camera and being typical teens. You look at it closely, but Frankie rips it away from you.
“Oh, uh—don’t worry about all this, I’ll take it,” he stammers, and you glance at the side of the box. It has your name written on it.
“Frankie, why is this box—” you can’t finish the question, and he takes a moment before responding.
“Uh—before I went over there. I had all this stuff, stuff I wanted to remember. Stuff that—if I didn’t come back—that I wanted with me.” You look at him with watery eyes as he pulls out the dried corsage. “You got me this for prom. We didn’t even go together; I was such a loser, I was going with Santi and some of the guys, and—”
“And I told you that you deserved flowers, even without a date.” You finish the story for him, remembering how you pinned it to his lapel, how proud he was that the color matched your dress. Luke, your date at the time, was less than enthused.
“And this—I wore this every day until it fell off.” He holds the friendship bracelet delicately. “I came home crying because I thought that, once it fell off, you’d stop being my friend.” He chuckles, tucking it away. “Mom told me that’s not how it works.”
“This is my uniform from senior year.” He pulls the baseball jersey out, his name etched across the back, and runs his fingers over it. “I finally made varsity, but they benched me every game. I was so bad—” He laments, and you hum. “But you came to every game. Cheered the loudest when they put me in as a pinch hitter for one at bat,” he snorts, and you finish excitedly.
“Yeah! And you got three runs in!”
“But I got out at first,” he laughs, and you rest your head on his shoulder. “That was the senior game. All the guys were given bouquets of roses to give to someone important in their lives, girlfriends or teachers or whatever. I—I wanted to give it to you, but I chickened out. I gave it to my mom,” he chuckles.
“I would’ve accepted the honor,” you hum, and he nods.
“I know. That was the problem,” he chuckles, and you slap his chest playfully, straightening up. “I was this nerdy, awkward guy with a patchy beard and too-long arms. How could I give the most beautiful girl in school flowers?” Your face heats, but you can’t help the jab as you run your hand over his scruff.
“Well you’ve still got the patchy beard—” he laughs fully before you can finish, cutting off the thought with his own.
“And you’re still the most beautiful—” he cuts himself off before he finishes, embarrassedly folding the jersey in his lap. You try to spare him, recounting more memories
“You know, I spent so long trying to be ‘one of the guys’ with you and Santi. Remember at your birthday party, when Santi made us play ‘7 Minutes in Heaven’?” Frankie snorts, rolling his eyes.
“Yeah, you spent the whole time telling me how to improve my game with Isabelle,” he jokes, and you bump your shoulder into him.
“Well clearly you needed some help! Isabelle wasn’t the one who ended up in the closet with you!” Your voice falters on the last words, realizing how similar your situation is now. To cut the rising tension, you reach into the box again.
You pull out a plastic medal, red white and blue stripes around the string, and place it on Frankie, avoiding the cowboy hat he’s still wearing. “We got this after we won the obstacle course at Field Day.” Frankie nods, remembering you running up the inflatable rock climbing wall, and the choice position of his hand as he helped you over it. “You touched my butt and then wouldn’t talk to me for a week,” you laugh as Frankie blushes, continuing to paw through the box, but it’s mostly movie ticket stubs and tiny trinkets now.
He toys with the film strip in his hand, debating on bringing it out, but eventually, his heart wins out, and he brings it between you.
“This was the day I told you I was going into the army. You—you weren’t even sad. You just told me we had to have fun then, just in case, and made me promise to come back.” You look over at the black and white photos as you speak.
“Frankie, I was so sad, I just didn’t want to make you feel bad.” In the first, you and Frankie have broad smiles, mid-laughter. In the second, you clearly attempted silly faces, but the photo was creased down the center like it had been folded and unfolded hundreds of times. It’s the bottom photo that strikes you—you’re facing the camera, smiling so bright your eyes are closed, Frankie’s arms around you. You look like the happiest person alive, and Frankie is beside you with the same look—but he’s facing you. “I—I kept this in my cap while we were over there. So—so I knew you’d be there. Even if I didn’t come back.” Tears are freely falling down your face now, and you push the vintage sunglasses up into your hair as you run a finger over the photos.
“You—you were never ‘one of the guys’ to me.” You look at him, his breath heavy in the tight space between you; you can hear him gulp. “You were everything to me. You are everything to me.”
You’re not sure who initiates it first, but your lips meet almost immediately, moving and pulsing as a broad hand encompasses your cheek. His kiss feels like coming home, like all the years you’ve known him have been building up to this exact moment. Your bodies move closer and closer, and for a moment you think he may take you in this locked closet, but suddenly, the door swings open, and you both jump apart like scared teenagers. Santi, Benny and Will are standing in the open doorway, each with their own shit-eating grin, but Santi can’t help but butt in.
“Finally! I’ve been waiting for that to happen since I rigged ‘7 Minutes in Heaven’ in 9th grade!”
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Sitting On The Shelf - Marcus White x Reader
Part 9 - All Nighter
SOTS Masterlist
"Attention, shoppers, the store has been closed for 20 minutes. Many of us would like to leave. So, if you're still in the store, you're being a dick. Don't be a dick." Garret emphasised, looking directly at the man stood opposite Jonah. He'd been staring at the trash cans for over an hour now, still trying to pick one - was it really that hard?
"If I don't get home and study for my midterm, I'm totally screwed." Amy groaned from the next to you; she'd been working so hard for this exam, and you didn't want it to be thrown away because of one indecisive customer. "Oh, hey, you look so cute."
"Thank you!" You, Garret and Cheyenne replied in union, each looking at the other confused. However, upon seeing Cheyenne's outfit, you realised who Amy had been directing her words at.
"Awe, Chey, you look so good!" You gushed, grabbing her by her forearms and squeezing them gently.
"It's my senior dance recital tonight." Cheyenne announced, gesturing down to her outfit and spinning slowly where she stood.
"What? Why didn't you tell us?" Amy cried, almost offended that Cheyenne hadn't told anyone at work about her recital - you'd have loved to go.
"Well, I can't perform because of, you know, this." Cheyenne rubbed her growing belly gently, hoping to keep the baby at bay as she blamed it for not being able to dance at her recital. "But I'm gonna go and cheer on the other girls."
"Yeah, if this bozo ever leaves the store." You complained, throwing your head back in exasperation; today had been long enough and this dude staring at the trash cans wasn't helping. It wasn't like you had any plans once you got out of here, you just wanted to go home like everyone else.
"It's all right. I got it." Garret said before turning on some loud, obnoxious music, blasting it over the store speakers. Unfortunately, the bin man seemed unphased.
Suddenly, Mateo appeared behind Jonah, a mop in one hand and a bucket in the other. Swiping the mop under the mans feet, he slowly pushed him closer and closer towards the door. For a brief moment, he stooped at the discount movie bin, with baited breath, you hoped that he would just leave the store. With a final push from Mateo, the man was officially outside the store.
"Have a heavenly night." Mateo spat, turning and walking back into the store. Walking over towards the customer service counter, he was met with cheers and applause, everyone thankful that someone was finally able to get the man out of the store, so that you could go home.
"Yeah! Oh, great job, Mateo. Great job." Garret complimented, everyone still clapping for Mateo.
"Hey, we're all staying late to do more work. I'm so sorry. I just found out about it. I feel terrible about this. Whoo-hoo!" Glenn clapped and cheered, hoping his happy demeanour would lesson the blow of the bad news. Of course corporate were going to keep you behind on a Friday evening. Hopefully this evening would be over sooner rather than later.
Pushing yourself off of the customer service counter, you followed after Glenn, hoping to get this done with quickly.
"Ooh, corporate messed up. Those are the same signs we just took down." Garret said, watching as you and Glenn pulled out signs from the package you had just received.
"I don't think so." Glenn said, pulling out a letter hidden deep within the package to try and confirm Garret was wrong. "Nope, they say the old signs were this pale, outdated colour called "Glossy Dolphin." The new ones are a bold, exciting colour called "Glossy Dolphin B.""
Ugh. If you'd known that these signs were pretty much the same, you'd have left the store when trash man had. Letting out a deep sigh, you picked up a grocery sign, allowing Amy to grab the other end and help you carry it.
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"This is kind of fun, right? Being up high like this? Reminds me of my indoor rock-climbing days." Jonah reminisced, looking off longingly across the isles from his place at the top of the ladder.
"I just need to get home to study for my midterm." Amy spat back, fastening the sign to the wires that hung down from the ceiling.
"We can go any minute Ames," You shouted across to her from Jonah's others side, fastening your own sign to the wires that hung just out of your reach. "I just need to fasten this last bit."
"Midterm. That takes me back." Jonah continued to reminisce his college days, having already finished hanging up his sign, but not coming to give either of you guys some help. "Cramming for tests or trying to. Half the time, I'd just end up getting drunk in someone's dorm room and spend the whole night having 'deep' conversations."
Rolling your eyes at Jonah, you climbed down your ladder, walking up the isle and down to Amy's, holding on to the bottom of her ladder absentmindedly.
"That's so fun. Did I ever tell you the story about that one time when I went to college as a grown-up and I had to go work and I had all these responsibilities? It's a laugh riot." Amy climbed down from her ladder, the two of you leaving Jonah to his thoughts to find more signs to hang.
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Having left Amy to go and grab some stuff you needed back home, you made your own way back to the front of the store, hoping to find Glenn and some more signs.
"Ooh, cool move, cowboy." You heard Garret say as you approached the group surrounding Glenn, finding them stood in awe as he flipped a drill around his hand.
"What, this? I was born with a drill in my hand. My family used to own a hardware store Sturgis and Sons?: You noticed Cheyenne looked down anxiously as Glenn's words, gently rubbing her tummy and hoping her baby wouldn't come out with a drill in its hand. Though you knew Glenn didn't mean it literally, the way it flew over Cheyenne's head made you laugh to yourself.
"Yeah, for 59 years, the name "Sturgis" was synonymous with tools. Well, until Cloud 9 moved in up the street, and then a month later, we lost everything. Hey, has anyone seen the laser level?" Glenn asked, looking around to try and find whatever he was looking for.
"Doesn't it make you a little angry to be working for them?" Jonah asked, arms folded tightly across his chest. Though you'd never have brought it up, you couldn't help but agree - knowing that Glenn's family had been run out of business by cloud 9 hit a sour spot.
"Oh, I don't waste my time with anger." Glenn proudly stated, slamming his hammer down and hitting his thumb hard. "Oh. Look at that. I hit my finger."
"That looked pretty serious." You commented, looking intently at Glenn's thumb, trying to check that it wasn't broken or bleeding.
"Did the lights go out?" Cheyenne asked, everyone's attention turning to the ceiling of the dimly lit store.
"Glenn, what's up with the lights? I'm kind of in a rush." Amy asked, appearing from behind the group of you, startling you as she spoke.
"Actually, the lights are controlled by corporate." Glenn explained, holding his thumb tightly in his other hand. "Every night at a certain time, the lights dim, and the doors automatically lock."
"All the doors lock?" Amy asked, her face paling at the thought of being trapped in here all night. At Glenn's confirmation, she ran towards the doors, jumping and waving in front of them in hopes they'd open. "Come on, come on, come on, come on. Oh, no, no, no, no. Are you kidding me? No!"
Tonight was going to be a long night.
Pulling out your phone, you opened up Marcus's contact, typing out an apology.
y/n ;) | Hey Marcus! Can you take a rain check on catching up? Corporate have got us locked up in here :'(
Marcus :p | Of course I can :) Have a good night trapped in there lol. be safe.
A small smile formed on your face at his words - he'd barely been back home and you were already ruining things, yet he remained so sweet about it. Marcus was turning out to be a very good friend.
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"Okay, the bad news is we're locked in. Dina and I will go to my office and look for the lock override code. In the meantime, you guys keep putting up signs. You can make a game out of it. You can call the game "Signage Fever."" Glenn suggested, running away to the back of the store, Dina in tow, hoping to not have to deal with any backlash.
"I am not playing that game." Garret scoffed, pushing away from the group in front of the store doors, hoping to find somewhere he could be alone and relax.
"Guys." Jonah, spoke up, his lips curling up into a sly smile.
"No." You and Amy snapped back, shutting down Jonah's words before he could get them out. You knew whatever was going to come out of his mouth could only make the situation worse.
"You don't even know what I was gonna say." Jonah defended, his hands coming up to the sides of his face.
"I know that every time you start a sentence with, "Guys," you end it with, "Let's make the best of this," or, "Let's have fun. " You never say, "Guys, this really sucks."" Amy confidently concluded, her hands coming to rest on her hips as she raised a judgemental eyebrow at Jonah.
"Guys, we have the entire store to ourselves. We could do whatever we want. If we decide that this is gonna be fun, then this is gonna be fun. So, if you're with me, I will see all of you in the fun zone." Pointing fingers guns at everyone, Jonah retreated into the depths of the store, hoping he'd find something fun to do within the store.
""Fun zone"?" Amy asked incredulously, rolling her eyes at Jonah antics and looking back outside to the parking lot.
"Sometimes I just really want to slap him." Mateo let out a deep huff, rolling his eyes as he left the front of the store. As much as you loved Jonah, it was hard not to agree; his cocky - better than- attitude could sometimes really annoy you.
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Having set up camp in patio after leaving the front doors, others had began to join you. Eventually, a group of you formed, all making small talk as you tried to stay awake.
"Part of me's glad I missed the recital." Cheyenne confessed. "I've been looking forward to my senior dance since sixth grade, and it would've sucked to just sit there and watch."
"I'm not saying that I regret this baby. I just wish that I'd had it later or sooner, like a lot of my friends. You know what I mean?" Cheyenne looked around the group for consolidation, instead met with several confused, yet nodding, faces.
"Uh, I do, yes, and I think each and every one of us has regrets. I'll go next. I regret doing Semester at Sea instead of just picking one country and really absorbing the culture." Jonah admitted, once again finding a away to show off his college education - even though it was only brief. "Who else?"
"I regret not standing up for myself more; especially to my mom. I wish I'd realised it was okay to think she was an ass even though she was my mom." Clearing your throat, you sunk back into your chair, allowing Amy to shuffle her chair closer to your own and wrap an arm around your shoulders.
"Well, my only regrets are the times I over thought things and didn't go for what I wanted." Dina revealed, looking suggestively over at Jonah, who seemed to shrink into his chair under her gaze. "I mean, why fight nature? We're all just animals, right?"
"I regret not rescuing my twin brother from that wave." Mateo admitted, staring into the floor, though he seemed far away in his own thoughts.
"So there you have it, guys. We are learning lots about each other. What about you, Ames? What are you, what's your biggest regret?" Jonah asked, leaning forward in his seat as he addressed the woman who was still holding her arm around you.
"I guess I regret not going to college when I was younger so that I could have lots of stories to annoy my co-workers with." Amy snarked, the group of you laughing as she poked fun at Jonah.
"Hey, well, at least it's quiet. We don't have to listen to that stupid music they make us play." Garret whined, thankful that on top of all the bad events of today, we didn't have to listen to the questionable music the store played.
"I actually kind of like the music. It makes me feel like I'm on hold all day." Glenn said from where he stood at the bench, still fiddling about with the signs that hadn't yet been hung.
"Glenn, you like everything about this store." You groaned, once hopeful that he was finally going to admit to not liking something here.
"That's weird, man." Garret confirmed, shaking his head at the older man across from him.
"Well I don't like everything about this store. Truth be told, the backsplash in the employee's bathroom, it's like B-minus at best." Glenn admitted, though he seemed unsure of himself at giving it anything below an A.
"That's the only thing that bugs you about this company?" Garret probed, determined to get an answer out of Glenn that was negative; even if only a little.
"Well, I guess the aisles are a bit too close together and sometimes the folks in charge don't treat me like I'm a human being with feelings." Glenn sheepishly revealed, looking anxiously between the floor and the group in front of him.
"Yeah, that's a bummer." Cheyenne added, pulling a confused face at how that was Glenn's only criticism of the store.
"Sturgis and Sons was a community. Customers would be like, "Hi, Glenn. Do you have a screw in such-and-such a size?" And I'd say, "I think so. Maybe ask my dad." It was paradise." Glenn sighed, looking longing in the distance as he thought of better times. As Mateo tried to interrupt with another of his regrets, Glenn quickly cut him off. "And then this chain moves in. I mean, where do they get off? Keep us late in locked in the dark, you know, all in service of the bottom line."
"Yeah. Go." Garret cheered, a wide grin curling onto his face as he realised what was about to happen.
"I hate this tie. I hate this shirt!" Glenn shouted, ripping the tie and shirt from his body in a fit of rage.
"Isn't that his shirt?" You whispered to Amy, only getting an attempt at hiding her laughter in response. What had you guys unleashed?
"Oh, you're going a little too far now." Garret criticised, now worried at what he had done to Glenn - in all the years he had worked here, he'd never seen Glenn even a fraction this angry.
"And I hate Regional Manager Dicky Larson, but you know what I hate most of all? I hate Cloud 9." Glenn announced, the realisation of his words rippling across his face.
"I hate Cloud 9." Glenn whispered to himself before yelling it loud yet again, running away from the group to cause chaos within the store.
"What just happened?" Amy choked out, in shock at what she had just witnessed.
"I think we broke Glenn." Garret muttered, everyone shocked by the new version of Glenn that had just been unleashed at the slightest of provoking.
"It's a party, mother-fathers, sponsored by Sturgis and Sons." Glenn shouted, peeking his head out of the end of the alcohol isle, several bottles help in his hands, red sharpie scrawled across them.
This night just got a lot more interesting.
————————————————————————
"Okay. Never have I ever stocked ice cream." Cheyenne offered, everyone taking a sip of their drink. You took a large gulp, consuming more alcohol then you already had, hoping it would put you to sleep, or allow you to enjoy your time here tonight.
"Okay, but You know, like that, but, like, a little more edgy. You know, like, not this, but, "Never have I ever eaten human flesh."" Jonah offered, Mateo taking a sip after a brief pause. "Oh, no, no, no. You drink if you have done it."
"Mm-hmm. I understand." Mateo nodded, staying confident despite his admission.
"I have another one. Never have I ever hooked up in the store. "Everyone around you took a sip of their drink. Well, all except Dina. "Really?"
"You remember last week when Jerusha came by to talk about the mortgage?" Glenn giggled to himself, his cheeks becoming flushed as he spilled his and Jerusha's dark secret. "In my office."
A chorus of gasps filled the patio section, everyone shocked Glenn had even entertained the idea, let alone done it and admitted to it.
"Wait, wait. There's more. We had sex." Glenn clarified, though everyone had already known what he had meant.
"Bo and I, seven months ago." Cheyenne admitted, rubbing her stomach gently as she spoke. While you didn't quite want to hear the details of her and Bo's sex life, it was almost sweet to know it was in the store. Almost. Though you were sure Glenn would be thrilled by the idea of a 'cloud 9' baby.
"Oh, my God, the Photo Lab is a great spot." Mateo groaned, excited to be talking about the best hook up spot in the store. It was well known amongst staff it was the best place to hook up - it had a lock, was dark and romantic, and the fact you could be caught really built the tension.
At a round of approval, Jonah asked. "What? Really?"
"Yeah, it's dark. It's private. Sometimes you get to see people's naked photos." Mateo laughed to himself, dwelling on just how many of those photos he'd found in there. Unfortunately, you'd been privy to some of his discoveries, and seen far more of some of your co-workers than you'd ever wanted to.
"When I first started here, we just called the lab the "bang room" because, you know the banging." Amy laughed at the title, the alcohol beginning to get to her a little. "I banged in there."
"Okay." You and Garret cheered Amy on, proud of her for admitting something to the group, and showing that she was more than the strict floor manager many knew her to be.
"So the Photo Lab, huh? Cool. Cool, cool." Dina noted, a light blush seeming to cover her cheeks. Hmm, how strange.
————————————————————————
After rounds upon rounds of shots and drinking games, the night had become hazy, Garrets music blasted over the store speakers, drowning your own thoughts from you mind. Zoning back into the scene before you, you held onto Mateo's shoulder as you stepped into the dress he had put together for you, remembering vaguely that you had agreed to be in his fashion show.
Shuffling the dress over your clothes, you let Mateo straighten you up, he placed a large, floppy straw head on your head, completing the look. Taking your hand he pulled you to the makeshift runway, waiting for your que.
"Here we've got newcomers Mateo and Y/n sizzling in a fashion-forward take on Cloud 9 nightwear. Work it, Girls!" Amy cheered as you strutted down the runway, Jonah filming the whole show as you walked. Posing at the end of the runway, your turned and walked back up, crashing down onto a bean bag next to Garret as you slipped off the heels Mateo had had you wear.
"And now we have Glenn, rocking the "Don't Let Him Near Your Children Collection." Oh, shake what the good Lord gave you, Glenn." Glenn danced around in his bear onesie, walking up and back down the runway in his cute outfit.
" And here's Myrtle, carrying a bicycle tire. She doesn't seem to know what we're doing here, but she is owning it. Thank you, Myrtle." Amy shouted down the microphone, cheering as Myrtle flaunted her bicycle tire on the runway.
"All right everybody," Amy shouted down the microphone, coming out from behind the counter. "Now, its time for Cheyenne's dance recital."
Sitting up in your beanbag so you could see better, you sat and waited patiently for Cheyenne’s dance to begin, Jonah and Amy crashing down onto beanbags either side of you. You let out a gasp of air as the music started playing, the first few notes of Cyndi Lauper's "True Colours" tugging at your heart strings.
"Oh, I love this song." You whined, clutching your chest. Snatching the camcorder from Jonah's hands, you turned it on, setting it to record and placing it in your lap as you watched Cheyenne in awe. You wanted to record this, for both you and her, knowing it would be a sweet moment to look back on, and so you'd remember at least one thing about tonight.
"This kinda tight." Garret whispered, causing you to look at him. Looking slightly to the right of him, you watched as Jonah got up from his seat, a notification pulling him away from the performance.
Not dwelling on it - not being able to anyway, due to the alcohol clouding your brain - you turned back to Cheyenne's performance, sighing in admiration. You wish you had to ability to dance like that - to twirl and twist your body in such a beautiful and elegant way - and to perform in front of a crowd with such confidence? it was all something you could only dream of.
"I'm so proud of her." Amy whispered as the song came to a close, you and Garret immediately agreeing, both still in awe of the incredible performance. However, no sooner after you had spoken, the music changed to the signature beat of "Anaconda" by Nicki Minaj.
"Ooh, I did not see that coming." Garret muttered, unable to take his eyes off of the sudden change in tone of the performance in front of you all. “But I should have.”
Not expecting such a change, you let out a loud laugh, clapping your hands in excitement. God, you wished you had been able to see everyone else's reaction at the actual recital, because this was incredible.
As Cheyenne's dance came to a close, you clapped as loud and as fast as you could, hoping to let her know that you thought it was amazing. Though your eyes couldn't help but wonder to the still-empty seat of Jonah, wondering where on earth he could be now.
Ready to walk away from the group as others were already doing, you placed the camera and your phone down gently in your chair, wanting to keep it safe so you could take it home with you in the morning. Telling Garret you'd be back in a moment, you set off on your quest for the brunette.
————————————————————————
After searching through various isles, you headed to look for him in the breakroom, and then the bathrooms, though when passing the photo lab, you heard a brief commotion come from within. Deciding it would be in your best interest to listen into the conversation, you heard Dina's unusually disheartened voice come from the other side of the door.
"But I do understand." Dina huffed, sounding upset at whatever conversation had just happened on the other side of the door.
"Oh, great. I mean, you know, great." There he was.
"Okay, um I'll see you out there." Jonah announced, pushing open the door of the photo lab, and in turn pushing you. Stumbling over your own feet, Jonah caught you, pulling you up straight as he asked why you were stood outside the photo lab.
"I was looking for you J. I was worried you'd gone and ran out on us." Flashing Jonah a sweet smile, you hoped he'd excuse your snooping on his private conversation. However, before he could respond, the handle of the photo lab jiggled, Jonah pulling you into the shadows as Dina emerged from behind the door, her shoulders sunken in defeat.
Opening your mouth to ask if they'd been 'banging in the bang room,' Jonah quickly slapped his hand over it, using his other hand to place a single finger over his lips, telling you to keep quiet.
Once Dina was far enough away from the two of you, Jonah moved his hand away, you staring silently at him.
"Always that kinky Simms?" You muttered breathlessly, your heart pounding in your chest. If it weren't for the alcohol, you'd never have made a comment such as that - though you'd expect it out of someone like Garret. Maybe you were spending too much time with him.
Jonah raised his eyebrows at you, wondering where your newfound confidence had come from: while you'd always been outgoing, he'd never heard you come out with something so straight forward before, your humour was usually vague and hidden beneath layers of sarcasm.
Suddenly the both of you became very aware of how little space there was between the two of you, Jonah's chest pressed firmly into your own as you had hidden in a gap between the door and a stack of boxes. Your hands rested gently on his chest and one of his hands rested comfortably on your waist, neither moving and neither sure if they wanted to stay.
"Are you gonna..." You started speaking, looking between the two of you, Jonah's hand still firmly on your waist.
However, unlike the first time you'd ended up this close, the spiel of apologies never came, instead Jonah took in a sharp breath; you could feel his heart beating, so much so that it was nearly out of his chest.
"Jonah?" You asked, rapidly beginning to sober up as you became nervous that you'd gone too far with your teasing comment only moments ago. The moments of shared silence after you spoke had you becoming more sober each second, worried that in your intoxicated confidence you'd said too much.
"Oh, fuck it." Jonah muttered, the words only being shared between the two of you. Without having the chance to ask if he was okay, if you'd said too much, or not enough, you were silenced.
Jonah lips crashed onto your own, sucking the air out of your lungs, leaving you entirely breathless. Well, you hadn't expected that. As he began to pull away from your lack of response, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him back down and into you. Though you weren't sure how you felt about kissing Jonah, the pressure of his lips on yours drove any concern or doubt away from your mind. His lips were surprisingly soft and he tasted like strawberries and sambuca: you imagined you tasted similar - like of the sambuca you'd consumed and the peach and mango lip-gloss you wore religiously.
Jonah's free hand moved up to caress your cheek, his other hand snaking around to rest on your lower back, pulling you even more into him. Moving one hand up to his hair, you kept the other on his shirt, keeping him close to you. You never imagined Jonah to be such a smooth kisser - you imagined him to be awkward and unsure, not knowing where to put his hands or how to actually kiss. However, he was the complete opposite from that: confident and smooth, pulling you into him so he could drink up as much of you as possible.
Finally breaking away from each other, your chests heaved, feeling the others fall and rise due to the close proximity in which you had remained. Staring up at Jonah you admired his pink, swollen lips, how a deep flush had covered his face and his hair was fluffed up and tousled. The boy in front of you now was more like the Jonah you knew, his head hanging low, slightly scared and slightly embarrassed as to what would happen when he finally looked up. Would you hate him? Would you be disgusted? Would you just act as though it had never happened?
Placing two fingers under his chin, you lifted his face so that he would look at you. Leaning in, you placed a light and delicate kiss on the corner of his mouth; pulling back you were met with a loving smile. Jonah grabbed your hand in his, pulling you out of the shadows behind the photo lab, and in the direction of patio, hoping that the both of you would get some rest before the morning came.
Kissing Jonah had felt good; it was warm and inviting and something that you hadn't had the pleasure of feeling in a while. So why now did it feel so wrong? Only moments after leaving the shadowed corridor down to the photo lab you'd felt the sharp pang of guilt, like it wasn't meant to be Jonah who you'd shared such a moment with.
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"Hey, what you doing up there? Looks like you might get hurt." Jonah shouted up to Amy who, you'd noticed on your way back to patio, was walking on a moving checkout.
"Yeah Ames, that doesn't look all that safe." You added, knowing that if the words came from you , she'd be less likely to chastise them.
"You don't get to tell me what to do." Amy asserted, waving her pointer finger between you and Jonah.
"I- We - weren't telling you what to do." Suddenly nervous as Amy glared down at the pair of you from her position on top of the checkout, Jonah stumbled over his words.
"You are not my boss. I am your boss, college boy." Amy snapped, continuing to try and dance along the checkout as she spoke, her steps becoming less balanced as she went on.
"I think he just thought maybe it's a little dangerous being..." You tried to explain, hoping your defence for Jonah would lessen the harsh tone of Amy's words; she was always an honest drunk, though in her intoxicated state, her thoughts tended to not translate very well into words.
"By the way, I got into college too. A good one when I was 18." Amy boasted, scoffing at the surprised look that had formed on Jonah's face." I just got pregnant. And then I got married, and then Adam had dreams, and somebody had to pay the bills, so here I am, spinning around on this endless-"
Amy's spiel was cut abruptly short as she turned to the side of the checkout, leaning over the display and puking the contents of her stomach out over it.
"For what it's worth, that was shaping up to be a really nice metaphor." Jonah commented, though it wasn't the best time. You let go of his hand, moving closer towards the checkout to help Amy down.
Placing one arm around her waist, you gave her a concerned look, though you didn't dwell on it, instead choosing to guide her over to the bathrooms, Jonah following behind you.
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"Come on. It's good for you." Jonah bribed, waving a white, plastic cup of water in Amy's face.
"Glenn is right. This backsplash is unremarkable." He sighed, settling down on the floor next to you and resting his head lightly on top of your own.
"I don't regret getting married." Amy rushed out, both you and Jonah snapping your heads up to look at her.
"I never said that you regretted getting..." Jonah defended, his face flushing at the accusation - he'd never comment on something like that, it just wasn't his place.
"Yeah, but you were thinking it." Amy accused, a silence falling over the bathroom.
"I think you should. Adam's an ass." You let out a low laugh, Amy dipping her fingers into her cup and splashing the water in your face.
"Yeah, I wonder sometimes what it would've been like if I had made other choices, but you want to know what I really regret?" Amy rhetorically asked, looking longingly between you and Jonah; the two of you looked comfortable despite being on the cold bathroom floor, and seemed sober enough to remember anything she'd say.
"That last shot of Sambuca?" Jonah teased, though even the mention of the drink had your stomach churning after you'd consumed so much in the past few hours. Grabbing the bin that had sat at Amy's side, you threw it down next to you, hunching over it as you heaved your stomach dry.
"Forget it. You guys are the last people I should be telling this to." Amy huffed, getting onto her knees and shuffling closer to you to hold your hair out of your eyes and mouth, not wanting the sick to get everywhere.
"...this is a weird night." Jonah concluded, rubbing soothing circles on your back as you continued to spit and splutter over the trash can.
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"Ooh. Oh, it is good to be outside. I'm gonna go home and play some video games." Garret stretched his arms high above his head, waving goodbye to you all before heading for his car.
"I can't believe I have to take a midterm on zero sleep and totally hung over." Amy whined, letting out a deep breath as she walked away from the store.
"College." She groaned looking over at Jonah, finally empathizing with the experience he had mentioned hours earlier.
"Good luck Ames." You smiled brightly at her, pulling her into a tight hug, she whispered in your ear that she'd need it. Pulling away, she waved goodbye to the two of you, headed towards her car to leave and hopefully make her midterm on time.
"So..." Jonah began, tucking his hands awkwardly into his pockets, looking anywhere but at you. His demeanour now was much different from the man that had taken your breath away, his usual shy and blushing self returning.
"We should probably talk about last night." You stated, breaking the tension that had tried to settle over the two of you with the words you had both dreaded speaking. Silent agreement came from Jonah, neither of you sure of where to go from here, but both knowing things wouldn't be the same either.
"You could come over to my place? We can talk over breakfast?" Jonah offered, the blush still covering his face as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet.
"As long as we can take a nap first," You rebuttald, a yawn escaping you at the mention of sleep. "I'm exhausted."
"Yeah, of course we can, peach." Jonah wrapped his arm around your shoulders, guiding you out of the cloud 9 parking lot and beginning the short walk back to his apartment complex.
"Peach, huh?" You asked, knowing exactly why the nickname had formed.
Jonah cheeks flushed a deeper red as you spoke, his mind wondering back to the intense moment you had shared just hours ago. Looking at Jonah as he grew slightly embarrassed made you let out a giggle, amused that such a small comment had turned him into a blushing mess yet again. It was almost too easy to do that to Jonah.
As you continued to walk intertwined down the sidewalk, you felt that same pang of guilt as before, twisting your stomach and making you feel as though this was all too wrong. Blaming the alcohol, you ignored it, instead relishing in the moment with Jonah and thinking of the breakfast that would hopefully cure the hangover which was still making your stomach churn.
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☆*: .｡. Tag List .｡.:*☆
@write-from-the-heart
@despicablylara
@whatafreakingloser
@flowercrowns-goodvibes
@millieb-3199
@lolawassad
@catarina-trouxa
@rainbow-moon
@thepurplebutterflythings
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Hey guys!! I hope you enjoyed this part bc I had so much fun writing it lol.
I can’t wait for the next few parts because ✨spice✨ and plot development 😫
I hope you enjoyed, please leave feedback or ways I can improve my writing for me, and for you.
As always, have a Lovely week!! <33
#sitting on the shelf marcus white x reader#superstore#superstore x reader#superstore imagine#marcus superstore#superstore marcus x reader#Cloud 9#marcus white#marcus white x reader#marcus white imagine#Jonah Simms x reader
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I put a spell on you
Pairings - Lee Bodecker x Female Reader
Words - 3580
Warnings - parental death, fingering, oral (f receiving), anal, cum play.
a/n - hiii I wrote some more Lee smut, this is for @sweeterthanthis quote me on it challenge, my prompt was “sorry I never forget a face, especially when I’ve sat on it” and I've highlighted it below. I have to thank @thicccsimp for beta’ing this for me, she’s amazing and if you aren’t already you should be going to follow her and reading her amazing fics. I hope you enjoy this.
Taglist - @greeneyedblondie44 @bestofbucky @navybrat817 @saiyanprincessswanie @ladyfallonavenger @whisperlullaby
You looked around the absolute mess of the house and wondered how you ended up here. After everything you had done for her this is the thanks you got from beyond the grave, a house full of absolute crap in a town you escaped years earlier.
You picked up her mail and drove to the town post office to ask them to hold it all until you could have it re-directed to your new place in the city, dumping all the junk that you didn’t need in their recycling bin before going to the store to pick up some basics to get you through the week. Looking through your bag for your purse and not watching where you were going you bumped into someone on the street, instantly looking up and apologising when you were greeted with a pair of eyes you never thought you’d see again. He looked at you like you were a complete stranger, holding onto your shoulders to steady you before walking away and not looking back.
Watching him leave you couldn’t shake the feeling of absolute shock that he didn’t even recognise you, it had only been ten years, surely you hadn’t changed that much? He looked almost exactly the same, he was a little fluffier but that just made him all the more attractive to you. Rather than make a fool of yourself you carried on to the store, filling your basket with food and smiling at the locals who kept giving you the sad side head tilt as if that was an adequate way of expressing their sadness for your loss.
Your mother had lived in this town her whole life, you grew up here, it was a small town and everyone knew everyone's business which is precisely why you left. You hated the small town mentality, finish school, get a job, meet a person, get married and have a few kids. That's not what you wanted, it's not where you saw yourself and being back home only solidified that for you.
Paying for your groceries and smiling at the store assistant you left, clutching your bag before he could offer his condolences. Looking across the street you notice the diner wasn’t as busy as you expected so you quickly decided to have lunch and people watch from one of the booths, something you always enjoyed before you left. You sat down and ordered your food, watching the town move about their business, going from shop to shop no doubt buying food for their families for dinner that night. Feeling a pang of loneliness for just a moment you watch as he comes back around again, you can’t take your eyes off him as he casually walks around talking to the housewives and smiling at them, tilting his hat and watching them as they walk away.
Just as he’s about to turn around, your food is brought to your table, the plate placed down with a thud. Looking up at Louise, a girl you went to school with, you smile and try to make small talk but her eyes are fixated out of the window and on the man that you were watching only a moment earlier, “Hey Louise, how’s things? It's been a while since I’ve seen you.” You say to her trying to ease the tension and lighten the mood a little. Instead of answering she simply sneers at you and walks away, ignoring the way you look at her as she attends to her other tables.
Looking back out the window he’s already gone and you feel disappointed, rather than continue making up stories for the townsfolk in your head you grab the book out of your bag and eat your food in silence catching up with the story you’d been reading every night since you arrived. It's not very clear how long you’ve been there but you know from the lightheaded feeling you’ve probably had too much coffee and should make a move. Leaving a decent tip for Louise, even if she didn’t deserve it, you walk back home thinking of what you have left to do for the day when you notice an unfamiliar car on the side of the road in front of the house.
You stand still and try to make out who’s inside but it's impossible to see anything with the way the sun is in your eyes and it's reflecting off the windows. Instead of letting yourself overthink, you quickly walk to the front door and stop to turn when you hear a young voice calling out your name. One of the Henderson boys had been sent by his mother to come and ask you to come to a mixer at the church later that night, she wanted to re-introduce you to the town and the residents who you grew up with. You couldn’t turn him down, he looked so awkward standing there leaning on his car door while you decided, you’d only have a few hours to do some jobs around the house and get ready but you thought you could do it so smiled at him and told him let his mother know that she could expect you and that you’d bring something along with you.
Time got away from you, it had a tendency to do that when you were busy, when you finally looked up at the clock you realised you were already late and the few people who were actually nice to you when you arrived would be so upset at your rude behaviour. Quickly grabbing a shower and putting on your least revealing sundress, you drove to the diner to buy a pie, groaning internally when you spotted Louise behind the counter. She took one look at your dress and how you had done your hair and realised where you were going, somehow this seemed to upset her so you tried not to make it worse and asked her to box up a pie to go, without making eye contact.
She practically threw the box at you, taking your $20 and not offering you any change, as you were leaving she cleared her throat and called after you, “He’s mine, don’t go getting any ideas. You hear me?” Turning to look at her confused, you shake your head and ask her to say it again, “Sheriff Bodecker, Lee. He’s mine, ok? Don’t go breaking him like you did last time.” You still don’t understand what she means, you only had one night with him a long long time ago whatever happened after that had nothing to do with you but Louise certainly didn’t agree.
You nod slightly and agree with her, briefly apologising for whatever you did to her before driving to the edge of town and parking up with all the other cars. Music streams through the open doors and you can hear the laughter of the townspeople carry through, suddenly you’re transported back to the last one of these you went to before you left;
Dancing in the middle of the room with your girlfriends, you giggled and watched all the boys as they watched you. None of you would ever make the first move until you caught the eye of Lee Bodecker. He walked up to you, all confidence and swagger, the kind only kids who can now legally drink usually have. Asking you to dance and pulling you away from your friends he takes you to the middle of the room, holding your hips and awkwardly moving you side to side while music plays. Your hands are wrapped around his neck and you smile up at him “I thought you’d never ask me Lee, figured you’d just stare at me all night instead,” he chuckles and leans down, placing a soft kiss on your lips before twirling you around and dipping you. Your friends all cheer and you lean your head on his chest in embarrassment, feeling your cheeks heat up from the attention you both have, you decide to get out instead. Not looking back at everyone you grab his hand and drag him out to his car, climbing in the backseat and pulling him in beside you.
It doesn’t take long before his lips are back on yours, only this time he’s not soft or gentle. He kisses you like he’s trying to prove a point, massaging your tongue with his and nibbling your lips as he desperately pulls you closer. You grab his hand and put it on your breast, over your dress, and smirk as he squeezes them like he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Your hand rests on his thigh, climbing higher and higher until he’s breathless and silently pleading for more, “You gonna touch me Sweets? Make me feel real good?” He asks, undoing his jeans and pulling out his cock just enough. You watch as he runs his fist over the head, moving slowly up and down, grabbing your hand and putting it on him to show you what to do. It doesn’t take long for you to build up a steady rhythm and you hum as he pulls your underwear to one side and pushes a finger inside you, “Does that feel good? Do you like it when I touch you?” Instead of answering you moan into his mouth, but he’s too distracted trying to grab anything to catch his release as it pours out of him.
Finishing up in the discarded Pepsi cup before throwing it out the window, he lays you down and kisses over your neck and collarbone, leaving little bite marks everywhere he goes and smirking at your breathless moaning for him. He curls his fingers up slightly and it feels weird until you relax a little, you almost ask him to stop but he has you singing and gripping the seat begging him for more. He switches position with you, pulling you up until you feel his mouth on you, you get a shock but the way he flicks his tongue over your clit has you seeing stars, almost screaming for him, he pushes a finger back inside you and pumps it in and out, looking up at you and smirking. “Look at you Sweets, takin’ my fingers so well, wish it was my cock but I don’t wanna knock you up yet,” his words feel like a bucket of ice water over the top of you and you jump off him. Scrabbling to get away from him you open the car door and slam it in his face when he tries to follow you. Why does everyone in this town think they can plan your future?
You left that night, packed up your stuff along with your savings and moved to New York, which is where you had been ever since. No-one kept in touch with you after that and judging by the weird reception you got from everyone since you came back maybe that was a good thing. Walking into the church you may as well have heard a record scratch, you knew you were late but the way everyone stared at you was unnerving, deciding to carry on you add the pie to the table and walk over to Mrs. Henderson, apologising for your lateness which she shrugs off as nothing important despite her body language suggesting otherwise.
The mixer is terrible, you don’t like a single person here but you know if you leave now it’ll be all anyone talks about and you need local help to get the house up to some sort of standard to sell it and leave this town behind for good. You talk to Jerry, the local handyman, and ask him to come along and have a look at the house and see what he can do for you before you get the smaller jobs done. The atmosphere in the room seems to change suddenly as you’re arranging the time for him to come over, turning around you see why when you come face to face with Lee one more time. The way he’s straining to not look over at you is amusing, oh he definitely remembers you of that much you’re sure now, when he finally allows himself to look you wink at him and blow him a kiss, giggling at him when he blushes and turns away again.
Standing at the table to grab a plate since you didn’t have time to eat earlier, you load up with veggies and some of the Mac and cheese that's been calling your name since you saw it earlier. You watch him, watching you, and pretend to be disinterested. Staring at your plate intently like it was going to tell you the winning lottery numbers, you finish your food and place the plate down on the side, checking out the corner of your eye and loving the fact that he hasn’t taken his eyes off you since.
Tommy comes over to talk to you and lets you know that he’s pretty good at gardening and would love to help you out, offering to come over the next day to take a look and bring some of his tools to make a start. You smile and nod at him and offer to make him lunch as a thanks for his offer before making your way outside for a drink from the flask you had hidden in your little bag for moments like this. His smell takes you back to that night in the back of the car as he stands behind you, smelling your hair and tutting at your sneaky behaviour, “Sweets, don’t let Mrs. Henderson see you or she’ll tell the whole town you’re a bad woman,” he chuckles behind you.
There it is ‘Sweets’ , the nickname he always liked to call you when you were growing up, the nickname that always had you smiling when no one was looking. You turn to look up at him, taking a deep breath to take in his cologne properly, “Can I let you in on a little secret?” You wait for him to nod before pulling him down and whispering in his ear, “I couldn’t give a fuck what Mrs. Henderson thinks of me.” You take another quick swig before looking behind him at the party and deciding to call it a night, kissing him on the cheek and walking back to your car.
You’d been back at the house for less than ten minutes before you heard someone knocking on the front door. Opening it up you smile at Lee who’s leaning against the doorframe and smiles at you, “Well, well, well, Sheriff to what do I owe this pleasure?” You ask him, looking him up and down before glancing at his face and smirking at his lust blown pupils. He doesn’t wait for an invitation, wrapping his hand behind your head and pulling you in for a kiss, pushing his tongue in your mouth and grabbing your ass. You don’t stop him, you’ve been thinking of him since that morning after you ran into him. You pull him backwards into the house, he kicks the door shut and pushes you up against the wall with a thud.
Gripping him by his hair to pull him back you look up at him breathlessly, “Stop, what about your girl in the diner?” He looks at you confused for a moment before the penny drops and he shakes his head, “She’s not my girl, she’s really fuckin’ annoying. Can’t even go in the diner without her bein’ all over me,” he tells you, pulling you back for a kiss, grabbing your ass and pulling you up so you can wrap your legs around his waist.
“You need to let me taste you Sweets, been thinkin’ of that pretty pussy of yours,” you moan at his words, biting his neck and licking over the mark. Pointing towards the bedroom, you suck little marks onto him as he carries you to the bed. Throwing you down and pulling his shirt off over his head, you watch as he strips down to his vest and underwear, fumbling with your own clothes before squealing as he pulls you down the bed by your ankles.
Kissing up your thighs, he never takes his eyes off you for a moment, “You gonna let me make ya feel good?” You nod quickly and try to sit up but he’s faster than you, pushing you back down and throwing your legs over his shoulders, he places a kiss on your clit over your panties and smirks when you whine a little, watching you as he moves your ruined underwear to one side and devours you with no build up. You throw your head back and moan his name over and over, he’s clearly had practice in the time you’ve been away and it takes him no time at all to have you cumming on his face, hands tightly gripping the sheets beside you as he doesn’t stop. You try to pull away but he keeps you in place, firmly holding your hips down until you scream out, gasping for air as he fucks you with his tongue.
It feels as though you might pass out, your head is swimming from the overstimulation and you barely even notice how he climbed up onto the bed, hovering over you and caging you in, “I thought you wouldn’t remember me, damn near broke my heart when you skipped outta town on me Sweets.” You look at him confused, rolling your eyes at him, “Lee, we were together once, let's not pretend I was the great love of your life.” He rolls off you to lay down, staring at your ceiling and stretching out, he doesn’t say anything, he just lays there, you swing your leg over him and straddle his waist, watching as he clearly tries to think of something to say.
“Is that why you blanked me in town? Because you thought I wasn’t going to remember you? Well sorry I never forget a face, especially when I’ve sat on it,” you say, adjusting yourself so you were leaning over the top of him, looking down at his amused face. “You always had such a filthy mouth? I don’ remember you bein’ like this,” you stop him with a kiss, grabbing his head and pulling him up. His hands grab at your ass, kneading it painfully before he rubs his finger over your tight hole.
You gasp into his mouth but don’t stop him, grinding down into his lap and moaning for him, “You gonna be a good little slut for me and let me finally fuck ya?” He asks, pushing his finger in and out slowly, admiring the way you open up for him. Flipping you both over he pushes your legs back so he can get a good view, spitting and adding a second finger. You rub your clit as he opens you up, moaning for him to fuck you. He wastes no more time, pushing his underwear down and spitting on his cock, “Gonna go nice and slowly, keep rubbin’ that pussy for me, ya hear?” He waits for you to nod before pushing in, the head feeling like it's splitting you open, you close your eyes and take a deep breath, reaching forward to grab his ass and pull him closer.
You’ve never felt so full before, having his heavy weight on top of you as he pistons in and out, moaning filthy words in your ear telling you how tight you feel. His pelvis bumps your clit with every pass and it's enough for you to see stars, screaming out his name and scratching his back as you buck off the bed. He thrusts a few more times, his breath stuttering before he groans and fills you up, leaning down to kiss you softly. You rub your nose against his and smile at his red cheeks, running your fingers across his jawline, “I’m not fuckin’ finished with you yet, Sweets,” you look at him confused but watch as he pulls out, spreading your cheeks open and kissing your hole softly before sitting back and staring, “Push it out for me, show me what I did,”
Your whole body tenses, you’re not sure you can do it but when you see the look on his face you relax and push it out. It drips out of you slowly as he holds your cheeks open, you don’t expect to feel his mouth on you as he cleans you up, gathering his cum in his mouth and leaning back over you. Looking up at him, you’re stunned but smile, not expecting him to lean in to kiss you, getting a shock when his cum coats your tongue and pulls away, “Swallow it down, be a good fuckin’ slut for me.”
Doing as you’re told you swallow it, opening your mouth proudly to show him. He shocks you again by pushing two of his fingers in, sliding them across your tongue and into your throat, smirking when you gag, “You’re so fuckin’ perfect, I’m not gonna let you go this time.” Getting up and using the bathroom he brings you back a glass of water and a damp towel to clean up, climbing into your bed and dragging you against him he kisses your neck and wraps an arm around your waist securely, watching you as you fall asleep with a smile on your face.
#lee bodecker#lee bodeckerxreader#lee bodeckerxyou#lee bodecker smut#lee bodecker x female reader#lee bodecker imagine
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Spoon me, you idiot
Post ep4x13 Buddie because my brain is just that episode on loop. Hands up if you're not ready for the season 4 finale, folks. Have some cuddling and love confessions in the meantime.
Buck helps Eddie over the threshold with one hand at Eddie’s elbow and the other pressed against his hip. Eddie’s fine, he’s fine, he’s alive, but he’s exhausted. Pain and shock weigh down his shoulders, make him unsteady on his feet.
Carla breathes in sharply at the sight of him. Then she’s stepping forward, folding Eddie into a soft embrace, pulling his head down cheek to cheek with hers. Buck drags his eyes away from his living, breathing, living friend to find Chris, who’s lying on the couch with his glasses askew, mouth open in sleep. Buck’s heart clenches like a fist. He’s going to remember Chris’s haunted, horrified expression for the rest of his life, the light dying in Chris’s eyes as Buck had to tell him… had to tell him that his dad wasn’t coming home that night.
Buck walks over to Chris and kneels down beside him. He’s pretty sure it’s the first time Chris has slept since he heard about it. The first time in more than 48 hours that the kid’s closed his eyes. Buck brushes the curls back from Chris’s forehead, trying to be gentle, not wanting to wake him.
Eddie gets down next to Buck, their knees pressing together. Buck feels the shudder that runs down Eddie’s spine, feels it echoed in his soul. Buck isn’t the religious type, but he feels like this is another miracle. Years after his first brush with death, Eddie coming home once again to his son.
With a hand on Chris’s shoulder, Eddie murmurs, “hey, my little Superman. Chris, I’m here.”
Chris’s eyes open slowly, reluctantly, until he sees his dad’s face and wakes up all at once.
“Dad!” Chris shouts, hands flying up to attach themselves to Eddie’s face. “Dad!”
Eddie’s smiling, huffing out laughter in pure, unadulterated joy at seeing his son’s delighted expression. Chris is grinning and whooping, falling forward to curl himself into his dad’s chest. Eddie lifts one arm to hold Chris close and buries his face in Chris’s hair.
Buck blinks back tears, feeling relief crash over him. He rubs his eyes and starts to get to his feet, wanting to give the Diaz boys some space, until he feels a tug on his shirt. Eddie’s hand twists in the fabric. He’s not even looking at Buck, head tucked against the curve of Chris’s skull. Buck sinks back down and tentatively puts his arms around the both of them, Chris’s knobbly spine and Eddie’s strong back, his cheek brushing Eddie’s forehead. Buck lets out a breath that trembles like an earthquake.
It feels like home. It feels impossible. It’s what he’s always wanted. It feels like something Buck isn’t allowed to have.
When they finally let go of each other, what could be a minute or a year later, Buck notices Carla standing at the end of the couch. She’s smiling fondly at all of them, and Buck realizes abruptly that this is the first time he’s seen her since the pandemic started. He gets up—although it’d be more fair to say he tears himself away—and moves toward her, and there’s always been something magic about Carla because she takes one look at him and she knows.
“I missed you,” Buck says, his nose smashed into her chin. She’s hugging him like she’s trying to pack Buck down tight and snug him into a little box where she can keep him safe. Or maybe that’s just Buck’s wishful thinking. He’s so goddamn tired.
“I missed you too, Buckaroo,” Carla says, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Buck swallows the lump in his throat her tenderness causes.
She pulls away and very gently pats his cheek, looking Buck in the eye. “He needs you, you hear?” She whispers, holding that eye contact like she’s bet money on a staring competition. “Take care of each other.”
Buck can only nod.
She lets go of him and Buck shakes himself into standing straight, even though he’d much rather crumple to the floor. But he needs to get Eddie and Chris to bed, he needs to figure out what’s still edible in the kitchen and take out the trash, he needs to call the pharmacy for Eddie’s meds and the station for Eddie’s med leave, he needs to—
“Alright boys, get some rest.” Buck blinks and Carla comes back into focus. She’s addressing all of them, voice firm. “I’ll be here bright and early tomorrow to help out.”
“Thank you, Carla,” Eddie says.
“No need for that.” She bends down to give Eddie a quick hug, and Buck hears her tell him, “just try not to get on the bad side of any more sniper-rifle-wielding nut jobs, alright?”
Eddie’s reply is somewhere between a laugh and a choked-back sob.
Buck walks Carla to the door. Before she leaves, she looks at him, sharp-eyed and commanding again. “You call me if you need anything. Anything. You look just as bad as he does.”
“I’ll be fine. Thanks, Carla.”
She narrows her eyes at him, but this is what Buck has always been best at. He wades through the hurt and the pain and just keeps going. He gives her a tight smile, reminds himself that he wasn’t the one shot (no, just the one sprayed with Eddie’s blood, he can still feel it on his skin, still taste it on his lips), and closes the door behind her.
Getting Chris and Eddie to bed is easy. Buck lifts Chris up, carries him to Eddie’s room, and pulls the covers over both the Diaz boys. Eddie tries to catch Buck’s eye while Buck leaves the room, but if Buck stops moving then he’s not sure when or if he’ll start again. Buck pulls the bedroom door most of the way closed, leaving a tiny crack in case Eddie or Chris need him in the night.
In the kitchen, the clock on the stove informs him that it’s just past 9 pm. It’s jarringly early. It feels like time doesn’t really exist, that he’s been moving in a place defined by the hours since Eddie dropped, the hours since Eddie went into surgery, the hours since Eddie woke up.
Buck opens the fridge and looks into it without seeing anything, like when you’re reading only to realize that three pages have gone by without you remembering a single word. He closes the fridge door and opens it again, and oh, there’s the carton of milk and bottle of ketchup on the top shelf, the egg carton down to its last egg, a container of left-over fried rice from… was it yesterday? Buck folds back the top flap and sniffs it, decides it will be fine for one of the boys to eat when they get up.
He closes the fridge and investigates the pantry next. Two boxes of spaghetti, a can of beans, three cans of chicken noodle soup, an unopened bag of quinoa that is probably the result of Ana because Buck’s not sure Eddie has ever heard of quinoa—like he’s taking inventory of the truck. Thermal blankets, C-spine collar kit, 3L of sterile water, 3L sodium chloride, hug-a-bear. The 118 has a blue elephant courtesy of Athena. Buck could honestly really use it right now.
Buck runs a hand through his hair and pulls out his phone, planning to make a grocery list. He sees two missed calls from Bobby and eight from Maddie. One from Chim. Hen texted him at 4pm: How you holding up?
Buck very slowly puts the phone down.
He takes a step back and grips the edge of the kitchen counter. Breathe, Buck, he thinks. Just breathe.
His vision is spotty when he opens his eyes, like he’d shut them too tight. He doesn’t remember shutting them. It doesn’t matter. Buck finds a scrap of paper in the recycling bin and a pen from the junk drawer and writes a list. It’s late, so he’ll go to the grocery store in the morning, early, make sure breakfast is on the table for when Eddie and Chris get up. Oh fuck, does he have a shift tomorrow? What day is it?
Buck puts down the pen and presses the heels of his palms to his eyes. He can’t do this. He can’t stand here and pretend like he can take care of Eddie because he can’t stop seeing Eddie die. It’s in the back of his head every moment, it’s what he sees every time he closes his eyes, it’s the memory rewritten by his cells as they multiply and decay, it’s in his fucking genome now or whatever they call it—
it’s in the air he breathes, the reminder that for a moment that lasted an eternity, Eddie’s heart had stopped beating.
It’s a loud silence. Deafening.
Buck thinks, take a breath before you pass out, idiot.
Buck thinks, get a glass of water and pull yourself together.
Buck thinks, your best friend just got shot, you don’t have time for this bullshit.
Buck peels his hands away from the counter slowly, carefully, like if he makes one wrong move he’ll come away with flayed palms. He pours himself a glass of water and makes himself drink the whole thing. He picks up the list he wrote and reads it over and over and over. He thinks: what do I know is true? I’m standing in Eddie’s kitchen. I’m alive. Eddie is alive. And: I should get carrots.
Buck hiccups. Carrots—fucking—
No. Get it together. DAMN IT, Buck!
Buck bites the inside of his cheek until it bleeds and does not add carrots to the grocery list. Because apparently they cause emotional breakdowns, and Buck can’t afford one.
He puts himself to work. He ties the trash bag and then he wipes down the counters, and then he unties the trash bag to throw some paper towels in. He transfers the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher, quiet as he can, and locates a broom at the back of Eddie’s hall closet to sweep the floor.
When he’s emptying the dust pan into the trash (he’d tied and untied the bag again, but nobody’s counting, so what does it matter), Eddie says: “Are you OK?”
Buck jumps at least three feet in the air. He’s got the quads for it.
“Hey!” Buck whisper-shouts, turning to face Eddie. “What are you doing up?”
“Was wondering where you were.”
“Uh,” Buck looks around at the spotless kitchen and the broom in his hand. “Just, you know. Thought I’d be of service.”
Eddie raises his eyebrows at him. “Buck, the last thing I’m worried about is the state of my kitchen.”
“Right. That’s why I’m taking care of it. You know, so you don’t uh. You don’t have to.”
“OK.” Eddie squints at him like maybe a closer look will explain why Buck is sweeping his kitchen at 9:45pm three days after he got shot in the street in broad daylight. Buck sincerely hopes he doesn’t figure it out. He leans the broom against the counter and clips the dust pan to it in a rare display of tidiness. The pan slides down the broom handle until it hits the floor.
“When’s the last time you slept?”
Buck shrugs.
“Answer, please.”
God, what a dad.
(Not that Buck would know.)
“Uh… I think I got a few hours while you were in surgery.”
“That was two days ago, Buck,” Eddie says, frowning at him. “You look like a stiff breeze could knock you over.”
“Well, we’re inside.”
“Why are you being so stubborn? You need to sleep.”
“I’m just not really feeling it,” Buck says, folding his arms and resting his hip against the counter.
“Not giving you a choice,” Eddie says, looking extra grumpy because he can’t fold his arms. Unless you count the one in a sling as folded.
“I’m fine, Eddie. Don’t worry about me. You should be with Christopher.”
Eddie lifts his hand to his face and rubs his temples.
“Buck,” he says, “the only thing I need you to do right now is come to bed.”
“But I—“
“Come to bed, Buck.”
And it’s the repetition. It’s the look in Eddie’s eyes like a slow, early flame: the promise of a fire.
Buck’s throat is very, very dry.
“I… yeah. OK.”
Eddie gives him a small smile. Buck’s reeling. Because here’s the thing—they’ve shared a bed before. They’ve shared a too-small bunk at the station and a backseat and even a beanbag once (courtesy of a very poor decision on Buck’s part, but at least Chris likes it). But it’s always been “just bros.” It’s always been necessity. It’s been about efficiency and familiarity. Which maybe Buck is reading this all wrong and snuggling up with your best friend and his son after a near-death experience is totally no homo but… come to bed. Come to bed. Like it’s their bed. Like Buck belongs there.
Buck’s ears are ringing while he follows Eddie down the hallway to his bedroom. Their bedroom? He’s losing it.
The hallway light illuminates a strip of the room as they step inside. Buck can see Chris tucked in the sheets, curled into the rumpled spot where Eddie slid out to fetch Buck. This has to mean something, right? They’ve been dancing around and on the edge of something for so long, Buck doesn’t know how to interpret anything anymore. He loves Eddie, though. And probably the only way he’ll sleep right now is if Eddie’s in arm’s reach. So it doesn’t really matter what this is, because Buck will take any scrap of Eddie he can get, not just tonight, but always.
Eddie slips into the bed and scoots forward, leaving a space behind for Buck. Chris makes a heavy, sleepy sound and turns his head into his dad’s shoulder. Carefully, so, so carefully, Buck lowers himself onto the bed and fills the space Eddie made for him.
“What are you doing?” Eddie asks, exasperated.
Buck blinks at the ceiling. “What?”
“Idiot,” Eddie mutters. “Spoon me.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Buck, this bed is small enough as it is with one person. I know you’re hanging half off it right now.”
“You’re not even looking at me.”
“Call it intuition,” Eddie says, dry as the desert.
Buck gingerly turns on his side, his chest just a breath away from Eddie’s back. “I…” He swallows. “Where should I put my arm?”
“Buck, you must have done this before.”
“That’s your bad arm, Eds.”
Eddie shifts a little, his calf coming into contact with Buck’s shin. Buck breaks into a cold sweat.
“Shit, well… under the sling, then. Around my waist?”
Dry, dry, his throat is so dry.
Buck lifts his arm up and drapes it over Eddie’s waist. He shuffles in closer, pressing them together from head to toe. His nose is in Eddie’s hair, his dick is nestled in the curve of Eddie’s ass, his ankles are knocking into Eddie’s. Buck feels like he might reverberate out of his skin.
“You sure you wouldn’t rather have Ana here?” Buck whispers. His mouth is like, one inch from Eddie’s ear.
Eddie turns his head a little, so his ear actually brushes Buck’s lip. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Eddie says, “There’s no one in this world I want here more than you.”
Buck stutters on his next breath.
“I wish it’d been me,” he says, suddenly. Eddie has to know. Eddie probably already knows. Buck’s grateful, so goddamn grateful, that Eddie survived. And sure, part of it is that self-deprecating shit he’s been working through with this therapist: Eddie has more to live for, Eddie has a kid, Eddie is a better man than I’ll ever be. But mostly, it’s far simpler than that.
If Eddie had died, the sniper may as well have shot Buck too. Because Buck doesn’t know how to live without Eddie. He’d found that out ages ago, when he lost Eddie under fifty feet of mud and water.
Eddie’s next words are nearly a growl. “The only good thing to come out of all this,” he says, “is that you didn’t get hurt.”
“What are you—“
“After it happened, when I was… when I was lying there, I—I looked at you. I looked at you, Buck, and I was terrified. Not because I might die, but because if I did, who was going to protect you? Who was going to keep a sniper off your self-sacrificing, heroic ass, and make sure someone came home to Chris? Who was—“ Eddie cut himself off with a sigh. “I was worried about you.”
Buck feels like… like an unbroken, empty tundra. Like a fried electric socket. Like someone dropped him to the very bottom of a very deep well.
“Eddie, Eddie I—“
“Shh,” Eddie murmurs, as Buck shakes apart. As he bends his head to hide his tears in the nape of Eddie’s neck. As he bites his tongue to stay quiet and not wake Chris up. Eddie presses backward into Buck’s hold. “I know, I know.”
“I can’t lose you,” Buck grits out between several halting breaths.
“You won’t,” Eddie says.
“I almost did.”
“You had my back.” Buck’s throat makes an awful, wheezing sound as he fights a losing battle against crying. “You got me out of there. You saved me.”
“I love you,” Buck says, losing the fight against that too.
“Buck… I…” Eddie sounds like someone knocked the wind out of him.
“Sorry,” Buck hurries to say, chest icing over with panic. “Sorry I just—“
“I love you,” Eddie interrupts. “I do. I know it took me a long time to realize, but… I’ve been in love with you, Buck.”
“Oh my god,” Buck says. I mean, what else do you say to that? No wonder Eddie froze up. Buck is in shock. “Is this real?”
“I hope so,” Eddie says. “And if it isn’t, then I’ll just have to tell you when we wake up.”
Buck feels fit to burst with more emotions than he can name. Relief, joy, fear, disbelief, pin-prickly. It feels like another miracle.
“Deal,” Buck says. And places a kiss to the fatal, devastating spot behind Eddie’s ear.
Eddie is the first thing Buck sees when he wakes up. “Good morning” are the first words he hears.
And then:
“Just so you know, I love you.”
#buddie#long post#ray writes#i know nothing about gunshot wounds so sorry if this is wildly inaccurate
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Quiet in the Library!
I think I lived out a kink-scenario again completely on accident today (note, this was written a couple of days before posting due to a busy schedule).
My area is currently experiencing an unprecedented heat wave. We're normally a colder climate so built-in AC units are not a thing in our area. Older houses come with ways to heat one's house, but nothing to cool it down because our climate is normally either cold or freezing. On my day off from work I decided that I wanted to go out somewhere with AC to kill time. I had some stuff I needed to work on and some things I needed to print off so I made plans to head to a public library and work/chill for a couple of hours.
I discussed my plan with family members. Some family members are going through medical treatments and stuff, so the entire household has been wary of going outside and potentially bringing germs and other stuff back home with them. I'd be going out for "recreational" purposes. We have a printer at home but it is only connected to someone else's desktop...so if I absolutely had to print something off I'd have to hop onto that computer...which I have done in the past...so the library trip was more for the idea of spending a couple of hours in a building with AC going. I wanted to let family know of my plans so that they wouldn't plan for me to be at home...and also offered the idea of someone tagging along with me if they wanted to beat the heat in the library too.
Turns out someone else was toying with the idea of going on a grocery run but they were on the fence because of the heat wave. I suggested that I'd tag along with them on the grocery trip, help them carry items and all, and then they could drop me off at the library and save me one trip on transit...I'd take transit home when I was ready. With that plan, I suggested that we eat breakfast at home because I had plans to buy lunch outside while on my library trip and I did not want to have to buy or eat two fast-food meals in one day. This was all discussed the night before my day off, fyi.
Plan made, upon waking up we worked together to put breakfast on the table. Unfortunately, my first task upon waking was to chug some ice-cold water out of the fridge. It was hot and I was sweating not even 10 minutes after waking up. The shock of cold water so soon after waking gave me cramps. Imagine how you'd react to being rudely woken up by someone dumping a bucket of ice-water on you...yeah, that's exactly how my stomach reacted. I hid in my room, doubled over with cramps, and left the rest of breakfast prep to family members.
Something went wrong with breakfast, apparently, that resulted in half of the food being inedible so I ended up eating about three mouthfuls of food and leaving the rest for other family members. The spoiled breakfast put other family in a bad mood so they reneged on our plans. Timing-wise, it resulted in a mad dash to the bus stop for me after swallowing my third mouthful of food because I had decided I'd be in the library today. The little food I had eaten was only barely enough to whet my appetite and my stomach was grumbling and snarling for more by the time I reached the bus stop. I rubbed my tummy a little to try to calm it because part of it was still griping over the ice-wakening.
When I got to the area with the library, I had a choice to make: walk further in the heat, by-pass the library, to find food at a nearby food-court first...or hit the library as intended, spend a few hours there, and then search for food hours later. The heat made my decision for me...looking for food first would have resulted in double the amount of walking in the heat because I'd be bypassing the library only to return to it after getting food. My stomach had calmed down on the bus ride (thanks to some discreet tummy rubs) and was no longer grumbling at me.
I hunkered down in the library with my earbuds in. It's been over a year since I set foot in a library due to the pandemic shutting them down for in-person services. I missed this. My favorite thing to do in the summer in previous years was to bring my laptop to a library and enjoy the ambience and the air-conditioning. It doesn't cost anything but transit fare so I did this often before the pandemic hit. I was enjoying myself. I felt a little self-conscious though because people that walked by my table gave me strange looks...and I don't know why. I had my mask on, other people at other tables were doing the same as I--had their laptops out and were working on Word-Processing documents. I'm at the age where I can totally blend in as a post-secondary student...so I couldn't fathom why I was getting strange looks and I kept on checking if my hair was out of place or if I had something on my clothes.
When I wrapped up my work, I shut down my computer and pulled by earbuds out...that's when I realized that the rumbling I felt throughout my three hours at the library was not due to my music being too loud. The grumbles had come back with a vengeance and apparently had been going for at least two and a half hours. Something about tables always seems to act as an echo chamber for stomach growls and these ones were audible...so...yeah...my best guess as to why people were giving me odd looks: my tummy was growling and they heard it.
To add to my embarrassment, a stunningly attractive person was in the table behind me. There was no way he didn't hear my growling tummy. I packed up, printed off my stuff, and left the library in a rush in order to spare myself further embarrassment.
Onto food. I stopped by a nearby convenience store to hunt for drinks. Pro-tip when eating at a food court or going to the movies or something: drinks and snacks are cheaper if you get them from a grocer or a convenience store or something than if you were to get them at the food court or theatre. I know, it's bad to do that to a theatre, but most of the people I know working in theatres tell me that they don't mind if you bring outside food as long as you don't leave evidence...don't throw out your own wrappers and zipper bags in their trash bins and don't leave bottled drinks and stuff lying around. You shouldn't do that sort of thing if you bought concessions at the theatre either...but yeah.
The convenience store here almost always has a "3 for $5" sale on drinks...it's just a matter of which brand/flavors are on sale when I go. I lucked out and it was on 500mL bottles of lemonade that day...so I trudged over to the food court carrying 1.5 litres of drinks. I was hungry and it was hot, so I ended up buying some of those premade sushi platters. It wasn't a big one...8 pieces or so. I bought a small bento box as well that basically just had some meat on top of the rice and a side of vegetables. I was hungry, so I was sure that this amount of food was alright for me to finish in one sitting. In previous trips I'd bought a 2-item large bento and the same sushi platter...I'd be able to finish the bento and maybe eat 2 of the rolls before being full in previous trips, so I was sure that what I had bought would fit comfortably in my stomach.
I forgot to factor in thirst. It was a hot day and all, so I ended up drinking more lemonade than I otherwise would have. I drank 2 of the bottles during my meal...so an entire litre of drink went into my stomach along with the food. By the end of my meal all that was left on my plate was one roll from the sushi platter. I brought it to my lips but my stomach definitely didn't want it and it was too hard to swallow.
My gut was packed. The litre of lemonade (as well as about half a cup worth of water from a waterbottle) filled up my tummy and brought me to 'stuffed' rather than simply 'full', The food alone would have comfortably brought me to 'full' as I usually only have my waterbottle with me for meals so I don't drink too much.
I was wearing a loose button-up shirt over top of a camisole and pants that day. The clothes were very flattering and highlighted my slimmer waist. I've got a higher BMI than is considered normal/healthy...but my figure is basically on the bigger end of average rather than into full blown obese territory...and most of my fat distribution goes toward my bust, arms, and thighs so my stomach was flat in those clothes. Not after lunch, that's for sure.
My stuffed tummy was aching, stretched and fit to bursting. The glut of food and drink had rounded out my stomach and I was immensely glad for the loose button-up hiding the evidence. I sat at the table for a while, unwilling and unable to stand up because my stomach felt so heavy and there was pressure at the base of my esophagus from all the food. I was terrified that I'd throw up if I moved and jostled my tummy. I spent a few minutes discreetly rubbing my tummy under the table as I flipped through headlines on my phone. I wasn't paying attention to my phone, mentally begging my stomach to start digesting so that I could finally move.
When I finally got up, I opted to walk around the mall for a bit in hopes of coaxing faster digestion. My stomach churned and sloshed the whole time. Surprisingly, there wasn't really any gas in my guts. It was all liquid and solid food. The rice must have absorbed some of the liquid because everything felt like it had swelled up inside of my belly. The stretch was intense. Thanks to my clothes, I felt like some of those "surprise inspection" fanarts I've seen floating around. If I had a partner and a discreet/private setting, I wouldn't have minded playing out a "surprise inspection" scenario. I was alone in public and terribly shy and embarrassed about my tummy though. If anyone tried to press their palm into my tummy at that moment I'm sure I would have been embarrassed and that I would have thrown up from all of the pressure in and on my tummy. I was stuffed to the point it hurt--my stomach felt like it was on the verge of a rupture.
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Paparazzi
Keigo Takami/Hawks x Reader
Summary: You meet Hawks one day at your store and you and him strike of a friendship that turns romantic....but the paparazzi manage to get it to the rest of the world not even 24 hours later
This shit is long, sorry not sorry
Masterlist
Crushes were just....well.... crushes, right? Especially celebrity crushes or crushes on fictional characters. Usually the average person will develop one or more crushes on celebrity or fictional beings, it was just the way the human brain (or something like the human brain for some people) worked. You yourself grew up with many celebrity and fictional crushes. The walls of your childhood room were (and probably still filled) with the posters of the heroes you adored growing up, the bands, singers, and artist you admired, and personal favorite characters from the shows or movies you’ve had seen and fell in love within the span of your teenage lifetime. Even now you admired celebrities and the such, but now it was mostly just giving them a like and follow on their tiktok or Instagram or admiring a picture or two when you came upon it, that’s it. Being an adult now and owning your own little grocery store, inherited from your parents of course, in the middle of the busy life of the city was enough to squelch your once childish habits, but sometimes you would allow yourself to flip through the gossip magazines you had set up to see the new and old faces of celebrities and heroes to see which one was hot or not, but that really wasn’t weird for such a mundane person to do.
All that crushing business would stay in the fantasy portion of your brain however, to never once think that you would have one of the fantasies you would once dream about as a teenager about a celebrity or fictional crush sweeping you away on your feet. Just thinking that something like that could happen was laughable really, it almost made you laugh now as you perused the magazine rack you had finally finished setting up, the hours of the day now almost bordering the parent’s definition of ‘its getting late’, which honestly meant that it was 7:30, as your employee hummed behind the cash register, fiddling with the pens and note pads scattered about at the counter.
“Hey, toss me one of those magazines.” Called out the cashier, you handing over the magazine, watching their hands drag towards them to let their eyes scan the bold headings on the front page and soon the face that was the eye catcher of it all. “Pro Hero Hawks is always on the front of the magazines....isn’t he so dreamy looking...” hummed out the younger girl, you only gave a snort as your hand went back to fidgeting the flimsy magazines and puzzle books that seemed only the elderly would purchase.
“Yeah, he’s handsome alright, but I don’t get my hopes up about that fantasy coming true.” You joked, the girl only giving a sad nod in agreement. With a laugh, you bent over to pick up the empty box that once held the new issues of magazines, starting to unfold it from its shape.
“Yeah I know, but still, just imagine it though....what if he just came sauntering in here now? To sweep one of us off our feet?” She said with her young, dreamy little look. You only rolled your eyes, shoving the unfolded ripped up box in the recycling bin, grabbing the magazine and giving a gentle and playful wack to the young girl’s head before placing it back on the rack.
“Yeah? Well the day that happens is the day I’ll believe anything to be possible.” You spoke with a laugh as you leaned against the counter, though the bell hanging upon the glass door gave off its soft chime to signify a new patron had entered your humble grocery store. You head automatically moved to see who had just walked in out of habit, but you probably should have already known who had entered inside your shop just by the look upon the cashier’s face. Hawks stood there at the entrance, those eyes of his glancing back and forth between you and the cashier. The shock was probably evident upon your faces.
“Um....is this like a bad time or something?” He soon questioned which you quickly shook your head at his word, finally snapping yourself out of your dumbfounded haze. Honestly there was no reason to be so shocked over another person, he was just a normal human being that was idolized who just happened to do amazing things for the safety of the society you lived in, but the coincidence of your previous conversation set your body in a rage of jitters.
“No! Not at all! Sorry if we seemed shocked, we don’t usually get sidekicks in here let alone heroes.” You spoke out with a laugh, hand sliding over the counter to give the young girl a little nudge on her shoulder to snap her out of her daze of the handsome hero before her. At that a bright blush crawled onto her face as she set her gaze down to the plastic keys of the cashier.
“Alright...cool...” he said with a shrug of his shoulders, already beginning to make his slow walk to the many things you had on display. The chips, candy, drinks, the instant ramen, the food that sat in the freezer ready to be eaten right away for the late night student or the person craving a bite or to be heated in the microwave station with running water off to the side next to the few tables you had for them to sit down and rest while they ate. The silence almost seemed to suffocate you as you listened to his shuffling and tried not to really stare. Though he seemed to hesitate a bit before finally turning around in his path, making his way up to the counter where you and the cashier still stood at.
“Sorry to bother you, but do you have any chicken ramen? Or anything that just has chicken in it or something?” He asked, hands pushing up the glasses that sat over his eyes and up upon his head. You looked to your cashier, expecting her to speak up, but that embarrassed look upon her face spoke volumes to you as you looked back to Hawks, that costumer service smile already plastered upon your face as you waved him to follow.
“Of course! I really need to take the time to organize all those products, costumers and tourist come in and always swap everything around.” You spoke up, leading him down the isles of your small store expertly before moving to the coolers of food that was ready to go/heated and the ramen. “This is our chicken selection in ramen, after you pay you can either leave and fix it at home or use our water and microwave station to eat here...then in the coolers we have onigiri with chicken....um....we carry egg and chicken Sandos...the information on how it should be consumed is on the label, so make sure your careful about reading and following the directions....” you muttered out as you pointed to all the things, which he nodded his head.
“Sorry if that question was dumb...it’s been a long day.” He said as he scratched the back of his neck. He had to admit, he felt kind of stupid asking that question now with now knowing the fact everything was honestly right in front of his face.
“We all have those days, I hope you can find something you like though, if there’s anything else I’ll be upfront.” You said as you were already heading back up to the front counter, casting a ‘pull yourself together women!’ look to your employee who only mouthed out an apology as she facepalmed and cringed at her own behavior. Hawks was soon rummaging through the ramen, arms soon filled with containers and a lonesome cup ramen, walking up to the counter to gently let everything slip onto the surface.
“Hold on, I got one more thing.” He muttered out as he stepped up to the magazine rack, shamelessly grabbing the one that had his face smack dab in the middle, tossing it onto the counter. “I swear, that’s it.” He joked, but that joke received radio silence from the cashier as her hands shakily went to begin ringing up his things. You couldn’t help but cringe for her, you didn’t blame her either, if it were you a few years ago behind that counter it would have been the same scenario.
“You want it bagged?” You asked, hand already grabbing one of the paper bags you had off to the side, ready to be used, though he only brought up a hand to politely halt your actions.
“Nah, I’ll eat here, enjoy the scenery.” He said with a little wink, already handed over the money, of course he said to not worry about the change as he scooped up everything back into his arms, whistling away to the eating area, beginning to already prepare his food, phone lazily in his hand as he did so.
“Are you ok? It seemed like you were about to drop dead any moment.” You whispered out as you leaned over the counter to your employee, she only shoving her face in her hands.
“Oh don’t even bring it up! He’s not even gone yet...” she whispered back, grabbing the paper bag that was still within your hands, placing it back, though she seemed hesitant to say something. “Could you....get his autograph for me?” She soon whispered out.
“What?!” You whispered back, casting a quick glance over your shoulder and to the hero who now lounged back at the seating area, magazine now clutched within one hand, the other feeding himself. “I don’t want to bother him, I-“ though your whispers were cut off by her own.
“Come on! Please? I’m a mess and when am I ever going to get it again?” She said, hands clasped before her as she begged to you with her whispers. You stood there, only being able to stare at her before finally nodding your head vigorously.
“Fine...fine...gimme a pen and paper...” you muttered out lowly, the girl quietly brought up a fist to the air lowly to show her victory before she scrambled around, hand clutching onto a pen, though her eyes landed on the magazines, which she gestured for you to grab one, which you did, placing it before her as she skillfully brought a pair of scissors to the cover, cutting out the front cover neatly of Hawks’ face, handing it to you along with the pen.
“Take the magazine out my pay check and I’ll owe you one too, thank you so much.” She whispered out, you only taking the pen and picture with the feeling of embarrassment already eating away at your stomach. Though you began to walk towards the eating area, almost painfully slow, trying to prolong the encounter with the hero you knew was going to be probably awkward.
“Hey...um...can I get your autograph?” You asked, handing over the pen and paper to him. You tried to seem nonchalant about it, but the minute shake in your hands almost blew your cover as he looked up from the gossip columns he was reading, swallowing the food that was in his mouth.
“Yeah, sure!” He said, that same charming smile that graced the covers of every magazine now plastered upon his face and it honestly has you in a trance. You didn’t even notice he took the pen and paper from your hands if it weren’t for the soft brush of his fingers against yours that sent your body into a mess of tingles from the sensation. “What’s you name sweetheart? I bet it’s something that sounds pretty, you know, to match you.” He said with a smirk, pen already scribbling down his signature.
“What?” You dumbly said, though a soft blush had risen to your cheeks as you shook your head. “Sorry, the autograph isn’t for me, it’s for my employee.” You cleared up, leaning up against the table that was adjacent to the one he sat in.
“Oh, gotcha.” He said as he capped the pen, soon handing it back to you along with the autograph of the improvised photo. He had to admit, he was kind of disappointed that it didn’t seem like you were his fan. “Whose signature would you like anyway? I could probably get it for you though, to even the score between you and your employee over there.” He said, looking past you and raising his hand to give a teasingly flirtatious wave to her, amused to see the young girl turn into a blushing mess as she hid behind her hair.
“Well you know, I like All Might, who doesn’t, you, Endeavor, you know, the ones I see most often on those magazines.” You said as you motioned to the magazine that was now left open and off to the side of where he had stopped reading. “But maybe if I was younger I would have died and resurrected to get any of those autographs. Now? I got more important things to worry about.” You said with a little laugh as you motioned to the establishment around you.
“An independent business gal? Hm, I like it.” He said with another one of those borderline flirtatious smirks, leaving your insides a frenzy upon a single glance, but only if you knew those soft chimes of your voice were seemingly tugging at his own heart gently. “I’ll be sure to keep supporting the business then.” He said as he soon stood up, almost looming over you for a second before he had moved to toss away his trash in it’s respected trash can, the magazine now tucked under his arm, wings ruffling a bit as he made his way to that glass door smudged with the many fingerprints off that day’s patrons “Catch ya on the flip side!” He said with a laugh before casting another amusing wink to the cashier, the door shutting with another chime, living the store in a silence until it was filled with your employer’s squeals.
“He winked at me! He smirked at me! He smiled at me!!! But did you even hear what he told you!” She gushed out as you were now back up to the front, handing her the autograph, pen set back aside. “He was totally making googly eyes at you and flirting with you!” She said as she hugged the autograph close to her chest, though stopped soon to smooth out the paper.
You only brushed it off as just her fantasies gone haywire within her head, but only if you could tell the future. He had become a regular costumer. He’d saunter in right at the same time ever night, get the same things every time. It came to the point where you or the cashier working would gather everything right before he would enter, which it always seemed to brighten his face up when everything would already be waiting for him to pay at the counter. Then he would chat up a storm with you. About what? Anything! Your favorite color? He wanted to know what it was and why. Favorite food? How was your day? He always kept a conversation going with you, always managed to squeeze out a blush and get you to laugh that laugh that was contagious, at least it was for himself. It was all like a really strange dream that you couldn’t wake up from, because who would have ever thought that this is how you spent some of the hours of your day doing?
“Hawks? What is that?” You questioned as you were stocking the magazines for your usual late hour routine, watching him carry in a box carefully through the door way, setting it gently down on the sales counter.
“Come on, look.” He said, you placing the stack of magazines that were once balanced in your arms back in the box at your feet, now free to move beside him, eyes trained on him and soon to the box. “Well go on, it’s not gonna bite you....I hope.” He teased, you only giving a roll of your eyes as you pushed back the flaps, eyes soon peering in.
“What?!” You exclaimed as you soon reached in, pulling out the contents of the box carefully. It seemed like it was never ending with framed pictures of almost every pro hero worth mentioning in Japan. “What in the world? Why-?” Though he only gave a smug smile as he coolly leaned his back up against the counter.
“Oh you know....to hang them up somewhere around here, give a little spice you know.” He said with a shrug of his shoulders. “People will come in and see them, then they’ll tell others that this is probably getting a lot of attention from the pros so then it will get others to come and blah blah blah...” he said, crossing his arms before casting a glance down at you as you admired the many signatures before you. “Plus I had some free time to bother them all for their autographs and I just really wanted you to one up this little gal here.” He said, motioning to the girl at the cash register who had become all too familiar now with pro hero now thanks to seeing him every night, but that didn’t stop her from still almost dying of embarrassment.
You only responded to his words with an embrace, arms thrown around his neck as you let out your amused giggles at his explanation, that grin upon your face all the validation he needed to answer whether or not you liked it.
“Thank you, Hawks, that was thoughtful of you....even if your attentions were only to be competitive.” You mumbled out, feel the soft rumble of your voice against his chest as he returned the hug back. The contact with you was satisfying, but you pulled away even if he honestly could just have spent an eternity like that.
He was right though, once those bad boys were up on display, your business got more traction. Tourist would come, fans would come to admire the neatly framed autographs and munch away at the eating area and geek away and other heroes had begun to visit your humble store as well. Your store hours had soon turned into 24/7, the place becoming a hot spot for heroes and sidekicks in the area during their patrol hours. People like Fatgum would come during the day for a quick fix and Eraserhead, who had also become a regular costumer in the late night patrols, would come to get a pick me up for the rest of his late patrols. Heck, you now even had superhero merchandise now on that you could barely keep stocked!
“Hawks! You missed it! Endeavor was in here! The Endeavor!” Called out the cashier as Hawks had stepped through the door, seeming to forget the painful embarrassment she would usually feel with interacting with him.
“Endeavor? Really? I’m actually even shocked at that.” He said with a grin as he leaned against the counter, a hand reaching up to absentmindedly twist the messy strands of his hair, wings giving a quick stretch before folding themselves back, one of his feathers placing the money for his usual purchase down on the counter as his free hand slid all of the food he would buy toward himself.
“Yeah, he’s scarier in person.” You called out with a laugh as you appeared from the storage room, a hand reaching up to push back the frizzy strands of hair that had escaped from your hairdo. “But yes, he did stop by to buy one of those cheap jumbo sized bottled water.” You recalled as you soon stood beside him, hands on your hips as you looked quizzically out to your store, trying to see if you missed anything. Hawks took that moment to look over to you, eyes adoring the scrunch of your eyebrows that formed when you were stressful thinking about something.
“Hey, you know, I did get that pretty name from you, but how about a number....and possibly a date?” He soon spoke, fingertips tapping against the counter top, you snapping out of your train of thought to look at him, eyebrows raised.
“Excuse me?” You asked, a little lost for words at his own that he spoke out. He seemed to not be affected though as he now stood up straight, a hand still rested on the counter’s surface.
“I’m asking you out on a date and I also want you number.” He bluntly said with his phone already in his hands with a smirk as he watched in amusement to see you physically try and let yourself process what he had just said. You were honestly trying to make sure your brain wasn’t really just playing a lucid fantasy before your eyes. Though finally you grabbed his phone, thumbs tapping down your number before handing it back to him.
“Great, I’ll pick you up at what, 7:30 tomorrow? Dress nice, I’ll get your address later.” He said as he was already backing out of the store, food forgotten on the counter, leaving you a numbed mess of nerves, your cashier in a frenzy at what she had just witnessed. He was true to his word too, he got your address from you and he showed up to the front door of your apartment with a knocked right on time the next day, handsome in his smart clothes, it was strange to see him out of his hero costume, a pair of shades over his eyes.
“Hey, you think these glasses are a good disguise?” He asked with a grin as he reached a hand up to straighten them out as you opened the door, though you only snorted as you leaned against the door frame.
“I would say so....if it weren’t for those.” You said as you motioned to his wings, which he only let out a laugh as he watched you slip on your shoes and retrieve you purse.
“Shit, you’re right, but first let me just say that you simply take my breath away.” He said as he admired you, you only rolling eyes as you nudged forward into order to step out into the hall to close and lock your door. The date, was nice, a little more intimate than the conversations you had at your business, but still, they felt like they could go on for hours and hours. It was those kinds of conversations that just made you feel...complete? It was the type of conversation that by the end would make your throat and mouth dry, but in a good way from all the talking and laughing that would be exchange. It was the type of conversation that made you feel energetic and your face hurt from the bashful smiles and grins he would grow upon your lips. They would have went for hours and hours if it weren’t for the servers starting to get antsy about the need for the two of you to leave in a timely manner for the next reservation. The car ride home was quiet between the two of you with only ambiance from the rain that had begun to fall, the fellow traveling cars, and the soft low music that purred from his radio. Though there didn’t need to be any conversations to be spoken as his hand rested upon your thigh over the dress you wore, your pinky hooked with his. That was all the conversation you needed as he helped you out of the vehicle, the two of you making your way quickly through the downpour of rain and inside of the apartment complex and up to your floor where you soon stood before him at your door, your fingers gently hooked to his as you looked up to him.
“I...enjoyed tonight.” You soon spoke up, letting go of his hand to reach your own hand up to push back the pieces of your hair that managed to get soaked and stick to the side of your face. Another bit of silence lifted as all Hawks felt he could do was just be mesmerized by you before him. Those lips came upon yours finally, the both of you caught in a passionate kiss that you enjoyed every second of until he pulled away.
“Open that door...” he softly spoke out, nodding his head to the locked door that stood beside the two of you. The jingle of your keys was a melody that sent goosebumps up his arms and jitters to his hands that rested upon your hips as he listened to the keys slide into the lock and jiggle around before that damned door was open.
“Keigo Takami....that is who I am...” he softly spoke out behind the privacy of the closed door and also against the smooth skin of your face that he was currently peppering many soft and gentle kisses upon.
The next morning you were the first to awake, stretching as you sat up at the side of the bed, eyes staring to the early hours of morning beyond the window. The confirmation of last night snoring beside you, wings jutting out in awkward angles, feathers ruffled from sleep. You let a soft smile crawl onto your lips as a hand reached to gently smooth over his hair before getting up, getting dressed, and leaving the apartment with a single note behind.
“Gone to work....lock door when you leave, key is at front door...” he groggily mumbled out as he scratched his head, fingertips gently holding up the sticky note that was stuck to the reflective surface of the fridge. He only shrugged his shoulders as he rummaged through the pantries, finally accumulating cereal, a bowl and spoon, and milk, soon getting his fixing and placing everything away, now lazily lounging on the couch, bowl of cereal in hand as he turned on the tv to munch away at his breakfast.
“Now that the weather and national news is out the way, we have some pretty hot topics on our top heroes!” Chipped out the upbeat women on the tv screen, which Keigo only rolled his eyes at.
“Hot you say? Yeah sure, bring it on sister...” he muttered out as he only continued to shovel the cereal into his mouth as he continued to listen, that bored look etched onto his face.
“Now today we are faced with the conundrum of if our beloved Hawks has found love or turned player.” Came out the voice again, though Keigo only froze, gulping down the cereal that was in his mouth.
“What?!” He shouted, now at the edge of his seat as he glared down to the tv screen through his groggy eyes.
“Our team managed to capture pictures of Hawks and this mystery woman and from what eye witness say, he and the mystery woman entered the apartment after their date at....” though the words were drowned out by the blaring of his phone ringing, which he was quick to answer it.
“Shit....yeah I know.....damage control, what? No, I’m not just screwing around with her!” he shouted into the phone as he shoveled the rest of the cereal into his mouth, placing the bowl in the sink before beginning to pace around your kitchen.
“Hey! The new issues of magazines came in early!” Called out the morning hour worker as you stepped in, raising a brow as you stepped up to the delivery that was already waiting for you at the rack of magazines.
“Really? That’s odd...” you mumbled out as you bent down, starting to rip off the tape and pull back the flaps, reaching a hand in to grab one of the magazines to pull it out, eyes looking to the bold headlines on the cover.
‘Hawks Turned lover? Or player?’
Your hands viciously opened up the magazine, flipping to the page that the story was advertised to be on, your jaw dropping upon seeing the paparazzi photos of you and Keigo of him picking you up, of the two of you on your date , and the kiss shared between the two of you and of him entering your apartment. It was like your body was frozen as you stared down to the photos in front of you, your life now on blast to the whole world.
“Shit..” you finally managed out as as you roughly closed the magazine, shoving it back into the box, your employee staring at you with a raised eyebrow.
“What’s wrong with them?” They asked, watching you lift the box up from the ground, maneuvering behind the counter to set them behind it, pushing the box far under.
“Just...don’t touch them, I’m not putting those on display.” You spoke out nervously, standing up and wiping off the sweat that had begun to accumulate on the palms of your hands, though the gasp of your employee caught your attention as they looked down at their phone.
“Pictures have just surfaced of Hawks chilling around almost butt ass naked in some mystery girl’s apartment.” He spoke out, flipping the phone to your wide eyes. Sure enough, there he was, bowl of cereal within his hands as he sat on your couch in his boxers through the windows of your apartment. “Hell yeah, Hawks got himself a lady friend.” The morning’s cashier joked, but no laughter was going to be heard from you as you were quick to make an excuse to leave the store.
“I don’t care how it’s done! I just need a statement saying that the woman is my fucking girlfriend and that legal actions will be taken because geez, I don’t know, they showed off where she lived to everyone who doesn’t live under a rock in Japan!” He said as he leaned his elbows against the counter top in your kitchen, hand burying itself in his bed hair, fingers tugging and pulling at tangles that would try to trap around his fingers. The front door of the apartment opening caught his attention as he looked to see you standing there rigidly, door quickly closed behind you as you stared at him.
“I don’t know what those people were thinking, they doxxed the shit out of her, yes we are gonna have to move her....yeah..” he spoke into the phone, you finally removing your shoes and calmly seating yourself at the kitchen counter, looking to the feathers on his wings that were still ruffled from sleep. Finally he hung up, phone placed on the counter top, a silence falling between the two of you before he spoke up. “That was quite the scare....you sure you still wanna be with me?” He said jokingly as he rubbed his face, already feeling his insides cringing from the embarrassment that seemingly felt like it was trying to swallow him whole. You couldn’t help but let out a laugh as you shook your head at his words.
“Keigo....lets not ask stupid questions....”
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It’s important to realize that we don’t all have money to make all the swaps let alone all at once -- not that that’s the right thing to do irregardless. Everyone should feel welcome into transitioning to a low waste lifestyle without feeling obliged to feel like they need lots of money to achieve it. Everyone comes from a different background and it’s important to acknowledge that much of zero waste culture is whitewashed and aesthetics based which perpetrates an unattainable standard. Most these swaps are things that I had been doing a lot of when I was younger when my family didn’t have much extra money. It ensures that everyone can get a start without having to put in any extra investments.
Hang drying clothes is free, though having a stand or line to hang them on is helpful. I bought a stand, but my grandparents have an indoor clothesline that they DIY out of some thick rope strung up in the basement ceiling where you can hang dry clothes on hangers off the ceiling. They did this with what they had around the house.
Skipping plastic produce bags is simple, but can take extra time. If you already have some kinds of reusable bag you don’t have to purchase new ones as they do seem pretty common at events as freebies or goodie bags. If you don’t you can request if they have paper bags you can use that can be recycled later. If you truly want to go packaging free you can just put groceries back into the cart and bring them in. This isn’t particularly feasible however and you can’t carry many items at a time; though it works well if you’re only running in and grabbing a few items. You can also repurpose plastic bags you already have from past shopping trips to give them a full life before they’re thrown away as most bags don’t show hardly any wear after a single use.
Paperless billing is super simple. Most mobile banking apps have a section where you can pick an option for paperless billing, or call the customer service to opt in. I’ve done this and had it this way for several years now. Additionally you can see if other bills can get automatically billed to you so they don’t have to send the paper bills out. This can extend to receipts as well because if you think about it they are the bills you get for your purchases. You can either opt for no receipt at all or if there’s the option, if you’d like, get a digital receipt emailed to you.
Mending clothing is a skill everyone one should have regardless. Many people can’t afford to buy sustainable clothing new and sometimes thrifting clothing just needs a little repair. Fast fashion isn't made to last a long time, but learning how to repair them can give them more time before they are no longer useable. You can also extend your skills to upcycle clothing into a whole new garments or something different with sewing skills. Simple hemming, running, and back stitches are easiest to learn and cover nearly everything you’d need. Additionally darning is very good to repair socks or holes that aren't on a seam.
Especially now with take-out being popular I end up with single use silverware. I try to ask for them not include them but sometimes they still make their way back into my home. I’ll take them with me especially if I’m with small children who might lose the nicer bamboo or steel cutlery I’ve got, or if I’ll be out with friends who don't carry their own reusable silverware. If I can I’ll try and take them back home to keep washing them a few times.
There’s several things you can repurpose t-shirt for including bags, but rags is my favorite. They don't fray when they wash so they’re especially good for cleaning rags. This is good for those old t-shirts that are too damaged or stained to donate. Just cut them up into whatever size you’d like and get cleaning!
I’m notorious for collecting baggies and rewashing them after I use them. Especially if they’ve been used to store dry goods like small cookies or other treats that really haven't left any mark on the bags. Another thing I do this with since I'm an avid baker is piping bags! The cost for these “single-use” goods really starts to add up so being able to use them several times is very economical. I’d also extend this to plastic take-out containers or plastic tubs food from the store comes in. I like to save these especially around the holidays or for any other upcoming event where I can use them as tupperware to send people home with leftovers.
I’ve never actually met someone who lines their recycling but it is super easy to skip. I have a two compartment trash can and will leave the recycling bin unlined. There shouldn't be anything dripping or making a mess anyways inside of it so I feel alright skipping it altogether. If it’s too big to put in there and I don’t have time to take it out right away I’ll also just make a small pile on the counter next to the bin and take it out from there.
Turning off the lights should be a no brainer as I feel like our parents bugged us to do it as kids and for good reason! I’d also extend this to unplugging things that aren’t in constant or regular use. I especially think this is important when you are going on vacation because you know with certainty you won't be using any of the devices at home.
Lastly is eating less meat. Of course not everyone can or wants to go vegan or vegetarian but opting for practices like meatless Mondays or cutting down from eating three things of meat a day to two will drastically reduce your impact. Cows and other animals where we get red meats have especially large environmental impacts compared to other animals we consume. Meat is also one of the most expensive items at the grocery so it can save you some money to purchase less. It’s also good to try and make your meat go as far as you can my making use of the bones and all the meat.
Hopefully some of these will inspire you to make these free swaps where you can as they really don’t require any additional effort to make the switch. They’re great too to tell friends who are looking to be more eco friendly and don’t know where to start. Let me know of another free swaps you know of in the comments!
(image source @shopwithgoodintent on Instagram)
#sustainability#sustainable#sustainable living#ethical consumerism#swaps#swap#save the planet#low waste#zero waste#plastic free#recycle#eco conscious#eco friendly#eco lifestyle#environmentalism#slow living#low impact#zero waste home#upcycle#upcycling#ethical consumption
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Jemily
Aw my babies Jemily ❤️
Gives nose/forehead kisses - usually JJ and Emily will always scowl and tell her to stop because JJ likes to do it when it’s most inappropriate (think crime scenes, in the round table room etc). Emily saves those moments for when JJ really needs it. When JJ is sad or sick, one kiss on her forehead from Emily will melt everything else away.
Gets jealous the most - Emily gets jealous but mostly JJ. Emily is very flirtatious, it’s just part of her personality. She doesn’t mean to be this way but she can’t help it. It’s all harmless, JJ is the only one she loves. But whenever someone gets too flirty with Emily, JJ will be there to put a protective arm around her girlfriend, reminding the world she is hers and hers alone.
Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive - JJ always goes a little overboard at the bar. When you have two kids you have to find a way to blow off steam. Emily will always get a call in the early hours of the morning from a very apologetic JJ saying she needs a ride again. Emily will pretend to be annoyed but she really loves how much JJ needs her.
Takes care of on sick days - Emily is very stubborn and even though she knows she is sick she will try and carry on working. JJ always finds her in bed with her laptop, phone and case files all over the place still trying to work while she can barely keep her eyes open. It’s JJ’s job to pry the things from her and insist she can work again as soon as she’s had some rest.
Drags the other person out into the water on beach day - Emily does not go to the beach. Period. JJ always takes the boys while Emily goes to the firing range.
Gives unprompted massages - JJ will sue any excuse to touch Emily. When Emily is sitting in the kitchen going over case files at night, JJ will come up behind her and start rubbing her shoulders. It always ends in the bedroom.
Drives/rides shotgun - JJ always drives and always makes Emily ride shotgun. Emily is a terrifying driver.
Brings the other lunch at work - occasionally, not often but sometimes, when they’re working a really hard case, usually involving children, Emily will bring JJ lunch. She’ll go to the nearest grocery store/cafe and pick out all of JJ’s favourite things and a strong coffee before bringing it back to JJ. She never says anything, just places the food in front of her with a small smile and leaves. It means more to JJ than Emily will ever know.
Has the better parental relationship - JJ
Tries to start role-playing in bed - Emily wants to try anything and everything with JJ in the bedroom. Role-playing is one of their favourites. JJ was hesitant at first but it’s now one of her favourite things in the world.
Embarrassingly drunk dancer - Emily is the worst dancer especially when she’s drunk. It doesn’t necessarily embarrass JJ though, she pretends it does but really she loves watching Emily cut loose as she doesn’t do it very often.
Still cries watching Titanic - titanic is banned in the Prentiss-Jareau household, but not for the reasons you’d think. JJ came home from the store one night to find Emily in floods of tears watching the film. When Emily saw her, she tried to dry her tears and pulled the DVD from the player. “What a stupid film.” She scoffed, wiping her tears away. She proceeded to snap the disc in half and toss it in the bin. Whenever JJ mentions it, Emily vehemently denies it and gets riled up. “I’ve never watched Titanic.”
Firmly believes in couples costumes - JJ loves couples costumes and it took several years but she finally got Emily to dress up with her. They were Wonderwoman and Superwoman, Henry was Superman and Michael was Spider-Man. Emily pretended to hate all the compliments they got and would never ever admit to JJ how much she actually enjoyed it.
Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas - Emily is all about flashy gifts despite the fact JJ insists she doesn’t need anything flashy. She wears her Tiffany necklace everyday though, and it always makes her smile.
Makes the other eat breakfast - Emily will quite often forget to eat at all when she’s busy on a case and it’s always up to JJ to remind her.
Remembers anniversaries - JJ remembers the big ones and every year she is constantly surprised when Emily will bring her flowers or chocolate and say “happy anniversary of our first date” or “happy anniversary of the first time I kid eyes on you.” JJ always makes a mental note to remember next year, but next year she’s surprised all over again.
Brings up having kids - JJ desperately wants more brothers or sisters for Henry and Michael and had been bringing it up for years. Emily was non-committal at first but over the she’s starting to open up to the idea.
Send me a pairing and I’ll give these headcannons
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Landslide: Chapter One
Word Count: 2.2k
Summary: Ten years after leaving her on their wedding day, Javier returns to Laredo and runs into Reader
Warning(s): Angst
A/N: Here’s the first chapter of the Landslide series! I’m really excited to share this with you and I’m glad that I was able to get it done. Any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, as I want this to be my best work so far. There were a few tags that didn’t work and for that I’m sorry! Also, a very special thank you to @aerynwrites for editing this chapter before its publishing! You’re the best, girl! ❤️
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No amount of time will ever change Laredo.
Stubborn as a mule, it refuses to move forward with the rest of the world. Some people, like you, come and go, but the vast majority stands still—a moment frozen in time. You’ve spent years trying to escape this place, but when inevitably you’re forced to return, everything is just the way that you left it: down even to the sharp creak in the door as you enter the mini market in town.
It’s still owned by the same family. You smile and wave at Anita Robinson from where she stands at the register, refilling the machine with a new roll of receipt paper. She’s an older woman, with a son your age and a daughter just a couple of years younger. Just like everyone else in this town, you’ve known her since you were little. Her eyes light up as she looks up to give an automatic greeting, and even from your distance you can see the crow’s feet in the corners of her eyes. For just a moment, she abandons the task at hand. “Well look who’s back! How have you been, honey?,” she asks, her deep Texas accent bleeding into every word.
You pick up one of the wicker baskets from the bin by the door, carrying it with you down the first aisle. The shelves are short enough that you can still see Mrs. Robinson as you start your quick grocery run. “I’ve been alright. I’m back in town for a while until I can find another publisher,” you explain briefly.
She shakes her head, picking up the receipt paper again. “Oh, sweetie. That’s too bad. Where were you this time? I think your dad said something about Seattle, but I can’t quite remember,” she replies. You can’t help the way that your smile falls to a more gentle expression at her words. Anita has always been a sweet woman, beloved by everyone she’s ever met.
“Yeah. I was in Seattle. But it’s alright. I’ve already contacted some other people. Hopefully things will pan out this time. How are Will and Sadie?,” you ask.
She closes the compartment on the register, laughing softly. “Oh, they’re both doing great. Sadie and Jason got married a few months ago. Then Katie and Will just had their first baby. I’m a grandmama now.” She beams, and you glance up from the jar of peanut butter you’d just placed in the basket to see her pulling out a couple of photos. “But I’ll quit pestering you for now and show you when you’re done,” she laughs, leaning with her side against the counter.
“Alright,” you reply, giving a soft laugh.
With nothing to distract you, you make your way a little faster down the aisles, going over your mental shopping list while muttering things to yourself under your breath. You’re so lost in your own little world that you don’t hear the bell over the door ring as another customer walks in, and you don’t notice the soft gasp that escapes Anita’s lips when she sees who it is.
A thought strikes you, and you realize that you’ve passed the taco seasoning. You turn quickly on your heels and take a step forward in what is nearly a single fluid movement, but collide with the broad chest of the man who’d been standing not too far behind you. You immediately step back and begin to apologize, but then your eyes meet his gaze. You go silent, save for the sharp gasp that leaves you as the breath is sucked from your lungs.
“Javi?”
Your blood is pounding so hard in your ears that you see your name formed on his lips but you don’t hear his voice. Every thought leaves your head as you try to form words again. But the effort is futile. You take another step back, putting more distance between the two of you. A glance in the direction of the counter shows that Anita is gone. Whether that’s to escape this awkward reunion or to go tell the rest of the town about it, you can’t be sure.
When you look back, Javier’s face has morphed from shock to a softer expression that you don’t have a name for. It’s somewhere between sadness and grief. Regret, maybe, though even that doesn’t feel quite right. But you hate the way that his gaze has softened, his eyes looking down at you like he deserves to feel anything as intensely as you do.
Your shock is quickly replaced by anger, and a hurt that you’ve never managed to fully extinguish.
“It’s...It’s been a while,” he starts, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. It’s a poor choice of first words, so appalling that you have to hold back a bitter laugh as it bubbles up in your chest.
“Ten years does seem pretty long when you don’t bother trying to contact someone, doesn’t it?,” you seethe.
Regret is written clearly across his features now, but that’s no matter to you. “Querida, I–”
“Fuck off, Javier.” You cut him off before he can even begin whatever apology he might have come up with. You don’t want to hear it. You want nothing to do with him. Not anymore.
You push your way past him in the narrow walkway, returning the items in your basket to their places on the shelf. As much as you want to just drop the basket and walk out the door, you won’t leave it for Anita to deal with. You don’t hear Javier’s footsteps behind you, and for a moment you think maybe he’s smart enough not to pursue you any further. But just as you drop the wicker basket back in the bin, his hand wraps around your arm. He gently pulls you back towards him.
You whip around, pushing hard at his chest and yanking your arm from his grasp. His touch triggers a switch from flight to fight. “Don’t,” you warn, your eyes burning. You feel the heat of your anger flooding your body, the fury making you tremble. He doesn’t try to grab you again.
“Just let me talk to you, damn it,” he demands, his hands placed firmly on his hips.
Now you laugh. It’s humorless. “Oh now you want to talk? Well that’s too damn bad.”
He huffs out a sigh of frustration. “I need you to understand wh–”
“To hell with what you need, Javier. Your needs stopped being my concern when you left me on our fucking wedding day. Now if you’ll excuse me, I should be going,” you bite back. Without letting him have the last word, you walk out of the mini mart, back into the relentless Texas heat. Paired with your anger, it makes your skin feel like it’s being prodded by thousands of tiny needles.
You don’t look behind you. You don’t want to see Javier looking at you through the glass pane of the door. How he managed to come home to Laredo without you hearing about it is beyond you, but it would have been nice to know that he was back. It would have at least given you some time to mentally prepare yourself for the moment that you might see him again. Now you just feel jarred, out of place. Like your soul was taken from your body to watch all of this happen.
You try to take in a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth. But your lips tremble as you exhale and your vision blurs with a new wave of tears. You force yourself to move forward, one foot in front of the other. With your mind in overdrive and your body on autopilot, you somehow make your way back to your apartment without losing your way.
By the time you make it to the front door, your tears have broken free, flowing down your cheeks. Your breath comes out in sharp gasps, and your hands shake as you take out your small ring of keys. They fall to the ground from your weak grasp, and you curse under your breath as you bend down to pick them up again. You force the apartment key into the lock, turning it and opening the door.
You all but collapse as you make it through the doorway, dropping the keys and falling back against the door as it shuts behind you. A gut-wrenching sob claws its way out of your throat, and despite your efforts to stifle it with your hand over your mouth, it’s no use. You shut your eyes tightly, sinking to the ground with your back against the door.
His face. His voice. You’ve worked so hard to leave them behind, to let him go. After so many years it felt like you had finally buried him in your past, never to be found again. And just like that, all of the pain and hurt and heartbreak has been dug up and hauled out for you to bear once more. To bear alone. This isn’t something that you’ll burden your parents with. You don’t want them to worry about you. You’re not a lovesick, heartbroken young woman anymore. You’ve changed and grown. You can handle this, no matter how difficult it might be.
Mind clouded by the agony of raw emotion, you push yourself up from the floor, walking back to your bedroom and throwing the door open. You drag a suitcase out from under the bed, tossing it onto the mattress. A new resolve takes over you, and you start throwing things into the suitcase. You can’t stay here. There’s not enough room in Laredo for your grief and Javier both. And if it means you’ll never see him again, you’ll leave tonight.
You raid your drawers and your closet, throwing in random articles of clothing. Every movement is frenzied. In the back of your mind, you make sure that there is at least one professional outfit, knowing that you’ll need it for meeting with publishers should you ever get a call.
That in mind, you go to your desk next, pulling out the typed up manuscripts and outline journals. In the height of your fury, hot tears leak from your eyes. Though they go unnoticed by you. The only thing you can think about is leaving. The more miles between you and Javier, the better. You’ll drive as long as it takes for the distance to soothe the throbbing in your chest.
When there’s no more room in the suitcase, you put all of your weight into keeping it closed as you zip it up. You curse at the strain, but you’re too determined to make this any easier on yourself by packing a second bag. By the time you do get it closed, your energy is spent.
You grip the edges of the mattress until your knuckles turn white, finally beginning the descent from your hysterics. As you come down, you go quiet again. Your chest no longer heaves with labored breaths. No sound falls from your lips. Your tears have lessened, but still fall silently from your eyes. Exhaustion seeps into every part of your body, a bone-deep ache from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.
You crawl onto your bed, not bothering to move the suitcase or bury yourself under the covers. You lay your head down on your pillow as it begins to throb, the aftermath of your emotional release coupled with the never ending thoughts of the man that so easily erased any healing you’d managed to do in the last decade. The pillow is soon wet and stained with black mascara tears. But at least now you can think a little more clearly.
And as much as you hate it, you know that you can’t leave.
There’s nowhere for you to go. The whole point of coming back home was to have a place to stay until you could get another meeting lined up and save up some more money. More importantly, you can’t—you won’t—give Javier this power over you. You won’t let him be the reason that you uproot yourself before you’re ready. He’s the one that left town. He doesn’t get to be the one to drive you away.
Mind made up, you sink a little further into the mattress, groaning softly as the movement disturbs your aching body. Before you can fall asleep though, your eyes catch a glimpse of a piece of cardstock lying on the floor beside the bed. You sigh when you realize that it’s an invitation to Danny’s wedding, which you’ve already committed to attending, and it’s in just a few days’ time.
Javier will be there. That you’re absolutely certain of.
But you’ll go anyway, because you could never disappoint the Peñas with your absence. Despite the fact that you never officially married into the family, they’ve always treated you like you were one of them regardless. And for that you’re grateful. They could have turned their backs on you the moment that Javier skipped town. Instead, they chose to hold you that much closer to their hearts. And you’ve done the same with them.
For their sake, you can endure being in the same room as Javier.
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Chapter Two
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