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When we’re going through things, we sometimes hesitate to ask people for help because we assume that the help isn’t available. We do a lot of guesswork and decide that the people we would ask for help don’t have the space in their lives to come through for us. Sometimes, since we have trained ourselves not to ask for help, it can become challenging to accept help even when it is offered. When that happens, we need to remind ourselves that if someone asks if we need their help, that is an invitation to say yes.

Ask for Help - by Nedra Glover Tawwab - Nedra Nuggets

Part of being human is being in relationship with other people, and relationships don’t just happen. They’re built over time and they often start with small talk. Some people find it enjoyable. Some don’t. For those of us who find it difficult, we have to find our way through it so that we can create deeper connections.

Nedra Tawwab

Be patient with your process.

Now, just because the feedback was not delivered with any malice, doesn’t mean we have to agree with it. When people share feedback, they do so from their perspective. They are speaking to their experience of us, so our own perception may be different, and that’s ok. Furthermore, it can be helpful to learn how other people experience us. nedra tawwab

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If we have people in our lives that are constantly giving us negative feedback about ourselves or tearing us down, not only should we not take their feedback, but we should take a close look at why they are in our lives at all. In healthy relationships, when we are given feedback we can do the following to better receive it: Sit with the information, and really listen to what is being said Resist the urge to be defensive and overprotect yourself Consider what is being said Determine what you would like to do with the information nedra tawwab

I can help people, but I can't fix them

- Nedra Tawwab (book: set boundaries, find peace)

When we are committing to relationships, sometimes we aren’t thinking about the longevity of what we’re committing to. It’s hard to get into anything if we don’t have some future-level thinking that is focused on where the relationship is going and what the possibilities are. This is especially true when it comes to dating. If we marry someone because they’re fun in the present without thinking about how that will translate years down the line, that can create some conflict in the future.

Nedra Tawwab