If you ever think, "This book is so horrible. How was it ever published?"
Just remember:
Commercial publishers do not pick books because they're good. They pick books they think they can sell.
And those are, unfortunately, sometimes two very different things.
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Nearly a Valediction
by Marilyn Hacker
You happened to me. I was happened to
like an abandoned building by a bull-
dozer, like the van that missed my skull
happened a two-inch gash across my chin.
You were as deep down as I’ve ever been.
You were inside me like my pulse. A new-
born flailing toward maternal heartbeat through
the shock of cold and glare: when you were gone,
swaddled in strange air I was that alone
again, inventing life left after you.
I don’t want to remember you as that
four o’clock in the morning eight months long
after you happened to me like a wrong
number at midnight that blew up the phone
bill to an astronomical unknown
quantity in a foreign currency.
The U.S. dollar dived since you happened to me.
You’ve grown into your skin since then; you’ve grown
into the space you measure with someone
you can love back without a caveat.
While I love somebody I learn to live
with through the downpulled winter days’ routine
wakings and sleepings, half-and-half caffeine-
assisted mornings, laundry, stock-pots, dust-
balls in the hallway, lists instead of longing, trust
that what comes next comes after what came first.
She’ll never be a story I make up.
You were the one I didn’t know where to stop.
If I had blamed you, now I could forgive
you, but what made my cold hand, back in prox-
imity to your hair, your mouth, your mind,
want where it no way ought to be, defined
by where it was, and was and was until
the whole globed swelling liquefied and spilled
through one cheek’s nap, a syllable, a tear,
was never blame, whatever I wished it were.
You were the weather in my neighborhood.
You were the epic in the episode.
You were the year poised on the equinox.
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WHO IS TO BLAME? ARE FISH AT FAULT FOR DYING? AM I AT FAULT FOR DREAMING?
or
how to stay blameless and docile, become a body of water
(A5 zine created by me for a local 24hr zine making challenge)
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Far Too Sweet
A sickening something lives in my throat
It makes my neck bulge, and I start to choke
I pray that it goes, though I know it won’t
It has been there ever since I first woke
A gap in reason, and in my insides
They are what it causes, and where it hides
Hard to breathe, yet even harder to think
Choking on my blood – thick and black, like ink
Always comes back, after I swallow it
Teeth rotten black, for it’s all sickly sweet
Can’t find a way, to stop feeling like it
Tongue burnt away, for it’s all far too sweet
A sickening something squirms in my throat
I claw at my neck, so that I won’t choke
It evades my fingers, will not be caught
My collar turns red, as it starts to soak
A billowing smoke, caused by doubts and fears
Spews up and out my throat, then disappears
Wipes the slate clean, gone is thought and worry
Erases the sight, that was once blurry
Without regard for myself, or for it
My lips are scarred, for it’s all sickly sweet
I hear words hushed, which I fear to repeat
My jaw is crushed, for it’s all far too sweet
A sickening something feasts in my throat
It constantly grows, and it makes me choke
My neck follows suit, as it starts to bloat
Airway blocked up by all the ink and smoke
A pit yawns open, awaiting my fall
If I were to beg, would that help at all?
My wounds yawn open, at touch of my own
My body sags – cold and heavy like stone
I am untouched, and yet, I have been hit
My gums, all cut, for it’s all sickly sweet
Lost on this street, though I grew up on it
Now, I can’t eat, for it’s all far too sweet
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while we’re all talking about the z-lib takedown -- I thought I’d share my go-to spot for cheaper books: BookOutlet.
it’s definitely not the same as having thousands of books and your fingertips for free, but it’s a good alternative to traditional bookstore prices. I’ve had carts of 20+ books for under $200CAD -- and they’re having a black friday sale right now! They sell minor misprints/excess prints at super discounted prices.
I know that right now, it’s only available in Canada and the US, but there’s probably a similar site for folks from other areas?
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