#nbc chicago pd
Text
My Own Worst Enemy
Fandom: One Chicago
Characters: Halstead Sister Reader, Jay Halstead, Will Halstead, Dr. Charles, Ethan Choi, Maggie Lockwood
Summary: You have a relapse in your anorexia, and no one knows until you show up at Med.
Warnings: Eating Disorders (i.e., anorexia) and their symptoms and habits.
Author's Note: I know nothing about anorexia, so I had to google it. If this comes off in any way incorrect, please know that I'm sorry. Also, if you ever find yourself in this situation, please seek help...I know it's hard, but we want you safe and healthy.
It started with a harmless comment. That’s what anyone would have thought, though you knew it wasn’t harmless. Not to you at least.
You had just gotten a full-time job at your local library, which seemed heaven-sent. You’d always loved being around books, so it all seemed to click when you found this job online.
Then the comment came.
You were eating during your allotted thirty-minute lunch break in the staff break room a week after starting when two women walked in from another department. You hadn’t met them yet but cringed when you saw their figures.
You hadn’t had the easiest time growing up. You were constantly picked on and developed an eating disorder at sixteen. Coincidentally, that was when your mom got sick, so you hid your illness in an attempt to keep the focus on her. It worked…until it didn’t.
You’d landed in the hospital where they diagnosed you with anorexia, and you’d had to work extra hard to come back from it ever since.
Seeing the women and their “perfect” figures didn’t make you recoil as it once would have, but their comments did.
“Girl, you brought a whole package of turkey to work? How many sandwiches are you planning on making?”
The other woman shrugged. “Don’t make fun of me! I like my turkey sandwiches, okay? Besides, you know I could eat a whole horse and not gain a pound.”
You looked down at the leftover beef stew in front of you and slowly laid down your fork. You had been having a stressful time recently with the new job, and your already fragile psyche took the hit as if it were a personal attack on you.
Boxing up what was left of the dinner you’d had at Jay and Hailey’s the night before, you tossed it in the garbage and grabbed a water.
“This is all I need today.” You told yourself. “I’ll do better tomorrow.”
…
You hadn’t done better tomorrow.
In fact, it had been weeks since you had started up your old habits. Luckily for you, it was easy to hide the signs from your family since it was just Jay and Will, and they’d both been working weird hours, making it impossible to see each other.
You had just gotten home from your day at work, having had nothing more than a bottle of water for lunch, and leaned against the couch in exhaustion. Though you grew increasingly tired every day, you found it hard to sleep at night.
You knew that was a symptom of the disease that had come back in full force, but you refused to accept it.
Dropping your bag, it made a thud on the floor, and you blinked your eyes a few times to clear them of the dots that danced in your vision. You were dizzy, but you refused to call your brothers for help.
Just as the thought entered your mind, your phone rang, and everything went dark as you reached to answer it.
…
You woke up on the floor behind your couch, your head pounding, your stomach growling, and your phone still ringing.
Reaching out an arm to search for your phone, you pulled it to your ear and scrunched your face in annoyance. “Hello?”
There was a pause. “Thank fuck.”
You continued to lie on the floor but opened your eyes in confusion. “Excuse me?”
“I’ve called you like twelve times.” Jay’s voice said on the other line. “I thought maybe you had been hurt or something.”
“I was napping.” You lied, though you figured it was close to the truth. “It’s been a long day.”
Jay snorted. “You work at a library. How hard can that be?”
“You’d be surprised.”
He ignored you. “Well, did you forget that you were supposed to meet Will and I at Molly’s for a drink tonight?”
“Shit. That was tonight?” Between focusing on work and spending your free time counting your calories, you’d forgotten about the invitation from your brothers. “I’m sorry. I’m exhausted.”
“Are you sure nothing’s wrong?” Jay’s voice sounded concerned.
“I’m fine, honest. Just tired. Rain check?” You ignored the fact that you were still lying on the ground.
Jay sighed, disappointment filling his tone. “Okay. We’ll do it another night.”
“Thanks, Jay.” You told him as you hung up.
Then you lay on the floor, resting a hand on your aching stomach. It had been some time since you’d put anything other than water and some nuts into it but couldn’t bring yourself to care.
You would soon be at your ideal weight, and everything would return to normal.
…
You nearly screamed when you brushed your hair the following day and found a large chunk of it tangled in the brush. Your hair started falling out again, as it had when you were younger, and you sighed.
You knew you needed help, but you didn’t want any. You liked this control, and you liked having this ideal image in your head.
Ignoring the anxious pit in your stomach, you continued to get ready for work and left your apartment. Everything would be fine, you told yourself.
And it was…until midday.
You had been in the stacks trying to locate a book for a patron when the dizziness set in. Blinking it away, you reached for the top shelf when the world tilted on its axis, and you were suddenly lying on the ground staring up at the ceiling.
People were around you immediately, but everything sounded like a train flying past your ears. Sitting up, you waved everyone off but let your director pull you into the first aid room.
He grabbed a bottle of water and had you sit while he pulled out your emergency contact information. “You’re okay, Y/N. I’m going to call your emergency contact to pick you up and get you checked out.”
Groaning, you tried to stop him. “It’s okay, really. My brother is a doctor. I’ll just get him to check me out after my shift.”
The last thing you needed was for him to call Jay, your first emergency contact, or Will, your secondary contact. They would freak out, and you didn’t want them to know anything about this.
“Y/N, you collapsed. That’s not something we play around with here.” Your boss told you.
You shook your head and went to stand when the world went black again, and you crumpled to the ground.
…
“Dr. Choi! We’ve got incoming.” Maggie yelled to the physician and turned to the ambulance bay as the doors opened.
“What do we got?” He asked, running over and meeting the eyes of the paramedic.
“Thirty-year-old female collapsed at work twice. Lost consciousness on the second fall. Severely malnourished and dehydrated. BP is low, and so is her blood sugar.”
Looking down at you, Ethan sighed. He knew what this probably meant and knew your brothers would be worried. “Mags, keep them out of my treatment room until after I’ve finished.”
“You got it.” She told him and looked at you worriedly.
As they transferred you to a hospital gurney, Ethan shined his pen light into your eyes. “Y/N? Can you hear me?”
Your face contorted in disgust, trying to escape the light as you nodded. “Hmm…yeah.”
“Can you open your eyes for me?”
“If you stop shining a light in them….” You muttered but instantly felt terrible. “I’m sorry….”
Ethan shook his head. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, Y/N.”
He rattled off a bunch of tests to the nurse before you bit your lip. “I’m screwed, aren’t I?”
He sighed. “Y/N…you know how this looks. You can either let me run a bunch of unnecessary tests, or you can let me call Dr. Charles, and we can get this over with sooner.”
“What about my brothers?” You asked meekly.
“I can keep them out until after you talk to Dr. Charles if you want?” He suggested though he knew he’d have a battle on his hands.
You nodded. “Please.”
“Okay. I’ll have Maggie page Dr. Charles, and we’ll go from there.”
…
While he usually walked into work at a leisurely pace, Will found himself rushing inside to meet his brother. “What happened?”
Jay shrugged. “I don’t know, man. Her boss called and said she’d passed out twice at work today, but when I got here, Maggie and Ethan told me I had to wait out here.”
Turning to look at the nurse, Will’s eyes held fury before Ethan stepped in. “Will, she asked for some time. Dr. Charles is in with her right now, and then you can go in.”
“Dr. Charles?” Jay asked him. “But why would-”
The thought dawned on both brothers simultaneously, and they looked sadly at each other. It had been nearly fifteen years since they had dealt with this, but it looked like your worst enemy was back and swinging.
The door opened, and Dr. Charles walked out of the treatment room. “Boys. You can go in now.”
Jay took off the second the words came out, but Will stayed back, looking at his colleague in fear and anguish.
“Is it…it’s back, isn’t it?” The redhead asked him.
The seasoned doctor sighed. “She’s permitted me to tell you this, so yes…her anorexia is apparent again. She said she’s been dealing with it for a few weeks now.”
The eldest Halstead looked towards your room and sighed. “I wish we’d known. It’s the same thing that happened before, you know? We didn’t know until she ended up in the hospital.”
“This can be a tough thing.” Dr, Charles told him. “But you know as well as I do that recovery is possible, and you had to know that a relapse could happen.”
Will nodded. “Yeah, I just thought we were in the clear.”
“Well, I can tell you that we came up with a therapy plan and scheduled a meeting with a nutritionist. I can also tell you that your sister is very strong but very scared of what you might be feeling, so please…go in and see her.”
Nodding almost robotically, Will moved over to your room and sighed as he took in your appearance. “Hey, kid.”
You raised your tear-filled eyes to him but kept your grip on Jay’s hand. “I’m so sorry.”
Will moved forward instantly and came to your side, brushing the bangs out of your face. “You have nothing to apologize for, Y/N/N.”
“What happened?” Jay asked quietly.
You bit your lip. “I’ve been really stressed lately, and then someone made a comment at work…it just slid away from there. I didn’t mean for it to get this bad.”
“When I called you last night, and you said you’d been napping?”
You looked at Jay sadly. “I had passed out in my apartment and didn’t want to tell you.”
“Y/N…you can’t be doing this to yourself,” Will told you. “I know you’ve started on a plan with Dr. Charles, but will you let us help you, too?”
You nodded slowly. “Please. I need help.”
“And you’re going to get it,” Will promised his little sister.
Jay sighed. “Listen, I think you should move in with Hailey and I…at least for a little while. It might be easier to handle if you have support around you.”
You snorted. “You just don’t want me home alone in case I relapse again.”
He looked at you sadly. “Can you blame me?”
You shook your head. “No…no, I can’t. And I will take you up on that offer so long as Hailey’s okay with it.”
“She will be. You know she loves you.” Jay smiled, though it was strained. “You know we love you, too, right?”
You nodded. “Yeah. I love you both right back.”
#one chicago fanfiction#halstead sister#jay halstead#will halstead#nbc chicago pd#chicago med#eating disoder trigger warning
276 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have come to the heartbreaking conclusion that I will not be watching the latest season of Chicago PD.
Honestly the last season nearly destroyed me and I don’t think I have it in me to watch Gwen ruin what was once my safety ship. Hailey and Jay deserve so much better and I will not be relying on the ridiculous writing that is happening in the writers room for any sense of closure because as we can clearly see that is just not going to happen.
I would like to believe that Hailey and Jay got married and are very much happy together thank you very much. Because that is what they deserve.
I refuse to be disrespected by this atrocious storyline for them. We know this is not how things would have worked out had there been some real writing happening.
I will gladly stick to the fanfics written by the very talented people in our fandom who know how to deliver on an ending.
I wish I could stay I would stay just to watch Tracy but honestly I did that with the previous season and it didn’t do me any favours. I won’t be doing that again.
Sorry, but I’m out.
#chicagopd#what the hell happened to pd??#when the writers have failed the show so badly there just aren’t any words left#upstead forever#upsptead HEA#that means HAPPILY EVER AFTER#Jay Halstead loves his wife#fight me on that I dare you#Hailey upton and Jay Halstead are soulmates#hailey upton#jay halstead#nbc chicago pd
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
“She hasn't been protected a day in her life. Doesn't know that she can be, that she should be.”
I just do not understand how a show and a writer’s room that has been building this protection arc for Hailey from literally her first DAY on the show would find that it makes any sense at all to do this.
I get that Jay is not coming back and they want some kind of fresh slate or “phoenix rising from the ashes” story for Hailey now. That they want to start fresh (I don’t agree with it, but I see that’s their current ridiculous angle).
Thinking we’ll believe she’ll emerge from this stronger and better is insulting our intelligence. They took two of the most reserved characters and built trust. She was still trusting and loving him in this last ep. So you took a woman who has a history of abuse, brutalized her for an ep, kicked her while she was down, and then forced her through Voight to question the “one good thing” after you destroyed that thing by assassinating Jay’s character.
Tracy is the best actress in a generation and the writers are relying on her to act them out of a corner again and again. She’ll make us believe whatever they put on a page.
But, it’s the most amateur of storytelling. I feel like I am reading a “choose your own adventure” book vs. watching one of the top rated shows on network TV. As much as I adored Jay, this is not about wanting him back.
The main tenet of shows is to realize that strong shows respect the stories and the characters they built. So keep that loyalty to the ones on the screen still, like Hailey. Even non-upstead stans and casual watchers are perplexed. That’s a sign that no one gets it.
I’ll watch this show as long as Tracy is on it because I enjoy watching a masterclass every week even if she is in the background, but the direction of the storylines on all fronts feel decidedly amateur and that’s a shame. We could have continued with an enjoyable procedural post Jesse exit, and the OOC character plays are just downright distracting now.
#upstead#chicago pd#hailey upton#jay halstead#tracy spiridakos#jay x hailey#jesse lee soffer#nbc chicago pd#chicagopd
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
Late Night Love - Hank Voight
word count: 1221
summary: after a tough day at work, hank comes home to find you soundly asleep and all he needs is some of your loving to have him feeling like himself again
Hank Voight x Reader
authors note: implied smut, but nothing too descriptive or explicit. apologises for any mistakes, i’m just getting the feel for writing again but i hope you enjoy anyway 💖
The case was tough but ended in a drug bust and a peaceful drive home. Hank entered the house and shook off his coat, hanging it up on a hook while heading upstairs. The house was quiet and dark, with the only light being shone through the curtains from nearby streetlights. He gently opened the door to his bedroom before his gaze quickly landed on you, his fiancé, who was fast asleep in their bed. He smiled softly and slipped into bed, his arms snaking around around your waist, pulling you closer.
You slowly stir awake against his chest. He smiled as he pulled you even closer, kissing your forehead and running his hands down your back before slipping one under your t-shirt, his thumb rubbing against your bare skin to tease you, placing another kiss to your forehead.
"Don't start something you can't finish." You mumbled into his chest, the sleep slowly washing away.
Hank grinned, hooking a finger under your chin and tilting your head up to look at him, giving you a sly smile. "Don't threaten me with a good time."
"I just did." You tease back, a playfulness dancing over your features. Two could play at his game.
Hank chuckled, tracing a hand up your sides and giving your waist a gentle squeeze. His free hand traced patterns on the base of your back.
"How was your day?" You ask softly, pulling away to look up at him. You could tell by the look on his face that the day had been a long and tiring one and that he was happy to just be at home.
He smiled at your concern and at the warm feeling that washed over him as he lay with you. All of his worries had gone the minute he'd laid eyes on you. "A lot better now that I'm with you."
Hank squeezed your waist, taking in a breath, thinking as you rubbed his bicep. He didn't want to lie to you, to hide how things had been weighing on his mind, but as you laid together in your bed, it was the safest place he felt he could be; feeling like he could be vulnerable, if only for a minute, and the person he needed was the one that was in his arms: you. "No.. not tonight."
"Okay," you responded gently. "But if you do want to talk.. you know I'll listen." You don't push the subject further, knowing he'll open up when he feels ready.
Hank smiled lightly, his eyes softening. Your compassion and understanding was something that he cherished, you never pushed, never tried to pry him open, you just let him come to you on his own terms. "I know. That's one of the reasons why I'm marrying you."
You smile then change the subject to something more lighthearted to take his mind off the day. "We should do something.. just me and you."
Hank nodded, grinning from ear-to-ear as his hands ran up your sides, squeezing gently as he looked down at you. "Anything you want to do, just name it."
"I don't know." You sigh. "I just think it would do you good to take a break."
He chuckled as he leaned down and kissed your forehead, his eyes gazing deeply into your own. "I mean, we could have an early honeymoon."
"I think you're forgetting one major part of that.. we're not married." You raise a brow with a playful smirk adorning your face.
He lets out a playful scoff as he leaned back on the bed and took his hand from underneath your shirt, moving to brush away stray strands of hair from your eyes. "Are you trying to tell me I can't drag you to the courthouse and get you married to me tonight?"
You scrunch your nose. "Not at eleven at night.. no."
Hank laughed and his free hand pulled you on top of him, gently kissing your neck before moving his lips next to your ear, whispering huskily. "You'd be surprised at the things I can do past eleven."
You laugh into his shoulder. "I liked the idea.." she shrugs, "but we're not married so.. think again mister."
He gave you a playful shove with a smirk before leaning forwards and kissing you. "You know what? I still might take you to that courthouse if this is the way you'll be treating your future husband."
You raise a brow, shaking your head before lying back down into the bed beside him, closing your eyes. "I'll believe that when I see it."
Hank smirked as his fingers played along the side of your stomach, his hand slipping back under your shirt, teasing you. "I hope you're not saying that as a challenge, 'cause I'm not afraid to take it on."
"Believe me, I don't doubt that." A smile creeps its way onto your face. Hank just grins as he squeezes your sides a little tighter, his fingertips continuing to dance against your sides. One hand makes its way underneath your shirt as he begins to tickle your side, making you giggle and squirm under him.
"Hank! Stop it!" You giggle into his chest, the wide smile never once leaving your face. The smile on his face widened as he saw you giggling and squirming under him, tickling your sides with a light giggle of his own. "Not a chance, I'm not letting you sleep until you're a blushing mess who's begging me to stop."
A flash of playfulness crosses your face before you speak. "I know what else I could beg you for." You giggle again.
Hank lets out a laugh as he squeezes your side once again, a low groan escaping from him as teases. "Oh yeah? What do you have in mind Mrs.-almost-Voight?" His smirk widens.
“You know exactly what I have in mind.” You mirror his smirk, a feeling of lust washing over you as you grind into him.
He lets out a low groan at the feeling as his hands shift from your side to your hips, his mouth curling into a sly smirk. He knew how much this drove you crazy so he pressed against you further against him, making you moan. “Hank.. please..”
Hank’s breath hitched as he heard you moan his name and the feeling of you grinding against him sent shivers down his spine as he squeezed you tighter. He decided to tease you further, slowly shifting his fingers to your leg and running them along your thigh. “Please what Y/N?”
“I need you Hank.. please.” You plead with him, becoming frustrated. He grinned, his eyes widening as he took a sharp breath and the feeling and sounds of you pleading sent warmth and lust racing through him as his voice became more gruff. “I’ve never heard you sound so desperate before… you sure you want this, baby?”
You nod quickly. “More than sure.”
Hank grinned as he pressed himself closer, sliding his body against yours as he leans down to kiss your forehead. He leans back, his eyes flickering all over your body, drinking in the sight of you underneath him. His lips hovered above yours as he breathed steadily, gazing into your eyes.“I’m gonna make this night something worth remembering.”
And that he did.
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Unpopular opinion time, everyone!!!
Hailey is good but I miss Erin so much. She's my favorite and I don't think that will change. I miss her dynamic with everyone on the team. Again, nothing against Hailey, I just miss Erin 🥺
What do you guys think Erin or Hailey?
#erin lindsay#hailey upton#sophia bush#tracy spiridakos#jesse lee soffer#jason beghe#jay halstead#hank voight#lindstead#upstead#chicago pd#cpd#one chicago#chi hearts#nbc chicago pd
68 notes
·
View notes
Text
Jay Halstead | Chicago PD | 8x16
#jay halstead#jesse lee soffer#my gifs#gif set#cpd#chicagopd#Chicago pd#nbc chicago pd#one chicago#cpd cast#8x16#Chicago pd gifs
51 notes
·
View notes
Text
and it will only remain in the memory
#nbc#one chicago#chicago pd#nbc one chicago#nbc chicago pd#upstead#trasse#tracy spiridakos#jesse lee soffer#hailey upton#jay halstead#upstead forever
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey y’all, I’m back!
I have this idea that I want to do for requests since I have a lot of time on my hands at the moment…
I want to take one shot requests from readers and turn them into a series for your favorite characters.
With that being said… I am OPENING REQUESTS.
*The first person who has a request, please make sure to add an occupation for the OC and a name/nickname - if either is not provided, I will pick.
I do have a four month old now, so I will be working around my child’s schedule.
I am open to writing pretty much anything when it comes to requests, however if I stumble across something I feel uncomfortable with — PLEASE make sure I am able to privately message you to see how we are able to tweak your request.
Until requests start coming in, I am revamping the series I have up now.
Character list:
Marvel :
Bucky Barnes/ Winter Soldier
Steve Rogers / Captain America
Clint Barton / Hawkeye
Chicago PD / Chicago Fire :
Jay Halstead / Kelly Severide
Adam Ruzek / Matt Casey
Hank Voight
Miscellaneous:
Jake Gyllenhaal / Detective Loki
N O T E :
Please remember that I WILL be making these one shot requests into a series for EACH CHARACTER —
It will take some time to sort through requests on each individual I will write for, it does not mean that I won’t get to your request so PATIENCE IS KEY –
If you want your username, master list, or page advertised with the request, PLEASE make sure to add your correct username.
#jake gyllenhaal#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes#captain america#jay halstead#jake gyllenhaal imagine#chris evans#jake gyllenhaal fanfic#jake gyllenhaal one shot#nbc chicago pd#clint barton#jay halstead x reader#kelly severide#jay halstead imagine#bucky barnes x oc#captain america x oc#bucky barnes x reader#captain america x reader
22 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Crossed Paths on AO3 19th September
Hi!
I was 14 when CPD aired, and I've watched it ever since. It was one of the first shows I took an interest in, even being an ocean away. I found my way through online directs and dubious websites because I couldn't watch it in my home country. Until it premiered, a couple of years later, and it became a family show. We even have some private jokes related to it, and we are currently watching season 9. Although I know what's going to happen, I haven't watched the episodes, apart a couple of exceptions, like 9x09 and 9x13. Jesse's last episode will be an exception, because I won't be able to wait that long to find out what happens to his character. I can't believe I'll have to go through it twice, and I'll soak up every moment of it.
I have to say that even though I'm not as heartbroken by Jesse leaving the show as I was when I first learned about it, I'm still not ready for it. This is such an abrupt departure. I wonder if this is why Upstead happened and why it happened the way it did. Even so, I'm glad it happened. It was amazing while it lasted. However, I can't stop thinking that this is the beginning of the end. I'll remember all their moments through the awesome edits and videos the fandom made, and I will cherish them forever.
I'll keep watching the show, absolutely, until the very last episode. There are still a lot of things I love about it, and I will enjoy the show in every other way I can. I hope, with all my heart, that there is a chance for him to come back, even if it is on the very last episode of the show, or Tracy's last episode. Because that is the only thing that makes sense. Jesse gave so much of himself to Jay, and I cannot believe they will give him something other than a well written exit.
I'm sad for the things we'll never see happening, and for all the Upstead moments we'll never watch. I believe Jay is the heart of Intelligence. Who is going to keep an eye on Voight? Who is going to protect the unit? Who is going to show the other side of policing? Who is going to play the soft, big-hearted man that sees the best in people and does more than he should to protect them? Who is going to take his place and be the second in command? I have no idea what the end will be like, but my heart already breaks for Hailey. I know it's going to be hard to watch, and I can't see her go through another possibly heartbreaking moment.
The whole 'The unit is going to be yours one day' dream was crushed in the worst way possible. I always thought that's how it was going to end, that's how it's supposed to end. With Voight passing the Unit to Jay and I can't believe that was taken away from us. It's not just about Jesse leaving, it's about all the expectations that I had for the show. I truly hope they have the time to give Jay, and Upstead, the ending they deserve. I won't settle for less, even if I have to imagine it myself. Their connection is strong enough to get through this, and they deserve it.
It was an honour to watch Jay grow from this insecure person, getting in trouble for following his heart and the people he cared about, to a very mature man, with a great sense of humour, sure of what he wants, loyal to the people he loves, confident enough to stand up for what he believes in, still with the biggest of hearts. I grew up along with him, and for that I will always be grateful. I learned a lot from watching the show, and Jay's journey. 10 incredible seasons, over 190 episodes, countless hours on TV, many Wednesday nights, one character that will be in the memory of so many.
Jay, Upstead, will always have a special place in my heart, as well as CPD, and all the other characters and actors. But his journey as an actor is not over, and I'm excited to see what's next.
Having said that, I have decided to stop writing about Upstead. I will post what I have, and then I'm done. I started this fic in January and finished editing it in July. I have a couple of one-shots, including first wedding anniversary, written down and that's it.
I also can't write about the end of them, I can't imagine anything else than what, I believe, we were all hoping for, kids, being Sergeant of Intelligence Unit... I'm sure some of the writers in here are going to do an absolute incredible job, maybe even better than the ending we'll have, and I can't wait to read their work.
I started writing a year ago, and it was a good journey. I learned a lot, the most rewarding thing being that I developed writing skills in my second language. Thank you for being on that side.
All the love ❤
#upstead fic#upstead#upstead forever#hailey upton#jay halstead#jay x hailey#hailey x jay#Chicago PD#season 10#chicagopd#jesse lee soffer#nbc chicago pd#alternate universe
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
If we don’t get some good Halstead Bros content before Jesse leaves I’m gonna cry even harder than I am now.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Overwhelmed
Fandom: One Chicago
Characters: Ellie Halstead, Jay Halstead, WIll Halstead
Summary: Jay and Will's little sister has anxiety, and it's gotten worse. This is how she deals with it.
Warnings: Possible anxiety attack triggers because an anxiety attack is featured in here.
Author's Note: This is based on my own experiences with an anxiety disorder (among other things), and it looks different for everyone. Please, if you feel this way, get help. It can be scary, but I promise you I will always be here to listen.
*Based on the song "overwhelmed" by Royal & the Serpent
“To report suspicious activity….”
“You can call 911 for an immediate response….”
“And there’s still no working cure for the virus….”
“Ugh!” Ellie groaned as she turned off the television and tossed her remote across the room.
She pulled her knees up to her chest and forced herself to take a few deep breaths. No matter which channel she tried to watch, the news blared back at her reminding her of the scary and dangerous things going on in the world and even in her own city.
The sound of an ambulance racing by her apartment building had her throwing her hands over her ears and clamping her eyes shut. She knew she was in sensory overload. With her anxiety as bad as it had been recently, it was bound to show up at some point, but she hated that it was while she was in the one place that was supposed to be her safe space.
Opening her eyes slowly, she looked around and whined as it seemed like every light in the apartment was on, burning her eyes and making her feel like she was overheating.
Tearing off the old sweatshirt of Jay’s that she wore, she walked around her living room while shaking her hands. She was pacing, and though she knew she could call her brothers, she also knew they were both working late that night and opted not to do so.
Another siren went past her building, this time a police cruiser, and Ellie’s ears felt like they would start bleeding at any second. She hurriedly locked herself in her bedroom and jumped into bed, shoving her pillow over her ears. When that didn’t help the noise from getting in, she grabbed the sweatshirt she’d discarded and tied it around her head before slamming the pillow back over her ears.
Now she could drown out all the sounds of the city and rest.
…
Everyone was at Molly’s for the bar’s anniversary party, and it was packed. Ellie hadn’t wanted to go, but she knew that her brothers would bug her until she gave in, so she decided to go for a while.
It was the wrong decision to make.
Like that night in her apartment, every light and noise bothered her. She tapped her nail on her glass as Hailey and Kim spoke about a case they had just finished but stayed quiet.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to join in, but her anxiety was at an all-time high, and all she wanted to do was go home, pop a Xanax, and sleep away the feeling. She was reminded of her younger years, before Jay and Will had come home, when her father would tell her to get over it and tell her she was too sensitive. She never really paid him much mind, however, as she was always searching for an exit out of wherever they were.
Finally, after two hours of being there, Ellie had had enough. Everyone was packed in too tightly, and the music was too loud. Setting her drink on the table she shared with Jay, Hailey, Will, Kim, and Adam, she spun her head around to search for a way out.
She didn’t hear the voices trying to speak to her until a large hand clamped onto her shoulder, making her jump in the air, her heart beating a mile a minute.
“Ellie? What’s wrong?”
She stared wide-eyed at Jay before spinning and shoving her way unceremoniously through the crowd behind them.
She needed out, and she needed it now.
Everyone at the table stared after her for a second before the boys moved, apologizing to everyone she’d shoved out of the way and following the path she had taken. When they finally got outside, they found her pacing beside the building with her hands shaking.
“Ellie…” Jay tried to get her attention, but she was stuck in her own head.
Will gave his brother a look, and both men blocked her path on either side. Her eyes grew wide as she realized she had no room to move, and her breathing picked up.
“El, it’s okay.” Will’s voice was low and gentle. “Look around you; you’re out of there and out here in the fresh air. Slow your breathing down.”
Her eyes were wide again as she stared at him before trying to take a few breaths. They came out feebly, but they were better than nothing.
“Did you bring your medication?” The redhead asked her and took her purse when she nodded. “May I?”
She nodded again and groaned. “This sucks.”
This time Jay gripped her bicep to help ground her. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.”
Will finally found her medicine and handed her one, but she winced. “I can’t…I don’t have anything to drink.”
Rolling his eyes, Will shared a look with Jay as he headed back for the bar to get her some water as the middle Halstead made her focus on him. “What happened in there?”
She felt her heart start beating painfully again and reached her hand up to grip his. “It was too loud, and there were too many people, and everything was too bright….”
“Hey, it’s okay.” He gripped her tightly and brought her back to him as Will came outside with a glass of water.
“Here. Now take the meds before you make yourself pass out.”
She did as he asked and leaned back against the building, closing her eyes. She knew they were sharing a look, but she didn’t care.
“How long has it been like this?” Will asked her.
She opened her eyes as the roaring in her ears tuned down, and her heart started returning to normal. “Like, how long has it been bad again?” They nodded. “Like two weeks?”
“Why didn’t you call us?” Jay asked, hurt in his voice.
“Because you guys are busy, and you can’t drop everything because I’m nervous about everything under the sun.” She told them. “I’m sorry, you just can’t.”
“But we can try.” Will shook his head. “Have you talked to your therapist?”
She nodded. “My therapist, yes. My psychiatrist, no. We’ve been playing phone tag, and it’s getting annoying. But I’m working on it, and I know now that I can call you, and you’ll get it.”
“Of course, we will,” Jay said earnestly. “You should have told us sooner.”
She shrugged, letting out a cleansing breath. “Well, one thing’s for sure…I’m not going back in there tonight.”
“That’s okay,” Will told her. “I can take you home.”
“You just want to make sure I’m okay tonight, which means the couch is yours.” She joked, knowing he’d insist on staying overnight.
He blushed a little, having gotten caught, but nodded. “Yes, I do worry about you, you know.”
“Thank you.”
#halstead sister#jay halstead#will halstead#one chicago fanfiction#one chicago#nbc chicago pd#chicago med
124 notes
·
View notes
Text
TW: ✨ Controversial Opinion ✨
They need to just break Hailey and Jay up and make her a lesbian.. i mean honestly it’d be believable and Jay’s clearly not coming back anytime soon.
Make it happen NBC
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Say goodbye"
Saying goodbye is always difficult. She had always wondered what it would feel like when the time came. She just never imagined it would feel like this.
[Upstead family fic]
Read it on AO3 and FFN
A very big thank you to @girlinlotsoffandoms for the wonderful support and loving Ella as much as I do!
#upstead#upstead fic#upstead fanfiction#hailey upton#jay halstead#Ella Halstead#Hailey's parent make appearance#jay x hailey#original child character#ao3 writer#fanfic#hurt/comfort#angst#angst fanfic#it is HEA#upstead family feels#chicago pd#one chicago#nbc chicago pd#ao3
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
The 10x03 ending Upstead scene. Angst in 3 parts…
This scene has haunted me since it aired. While I have no comment on the writing that got us here, I have nothing but absolute fangirling respect and awe for Tracy and Jesse’s talent. For me, Tracy took us all on this emotional journey with her and here is my breakdown of it.
Gif credit to @bleedinghearthalstead !
Part 1: Coming to grips with the fact that he resigned from the police force.
While we didn’t see this bit of dialogue and the scene opened with Hailey’s incredulous “what!?” It was obvious Jay had just told her he had resigned.
The fact that she was the one who made him realize that had her immediately feeling panicked. This reaction was everyone’s. She didn’t mean for him to throw the baby out with the bathwater. You can see her panic rise since she knows Jay is not dramatic and impulsive by nature.
When he responds that he had to
You can see her bow her head. She realizes she has to accept life without her work partner by her side, but she has him by her side in every other way. This will bend her but not break them, but she’s still devastated.
Part 2: From “I talked to Nolan” to “Jay��
Worrying that he is really not OK and has jumped into something irrational. She can’t believe he is already talking about another job. (Sorry I am light on the gifs here. Gifmaking is not in my spirit).
Part two was heartbreaking in a different sense because she first tries to get him to see reason but then when she realized he was serious, he just kept pummeling her with new information.
When he says “I took the job” you can practically HEAR her eyes blinking (sorry best way I can describe it). Shock does not even cover it.
But then after that you see her doubt herself. Is he escaping intelligence or is he leaving HER?
Her childlike, plaintive, slightly whiny “But you can’t just leave” is gutwrenching. Like a child begging to change circumstances they have no control over.
And then he can tell he will break her with the news but he tells her he is leaving today and then she is just terrified.
Part 3 - reassurance however thin
He sees she’s terrified and swoops in with the reassurance that they ate still in this together and that she’s it for him, then waits for her to confirm.
The saddest part is what comes next. I get it from a storyline standpoint, but it irked that he used her undying devotion to him as a lever to convince her to let him go. In that moment she realizes she has no fight in this situation. He waits patiently for her approval though- such a Jay thing to do.
When she nods, he is overwhelmed…with how much he truly loves her, with her selflesness, with how she has always been there for him. He pours ALL of his love for her into this kiss.
I think it is during this kiss she realizes he is leaving. Maybe not leaving her, but leaving nonetheless.
Here is where he realizes that the right thing to do that felt so right means leaving his anchor and it hurts 10x more than he expected it to.
Then Hailey feels powerless and stunned. Pretty much how we all felt at the end of this scene.
What do we do now? What do we do without him?
#tracy and jesse are geniuses#upstead#chicago pd#hailey upton#jay halstead#tracy spiridakos#jay x hailey#otp#jesse lee soffer#nbc chicago pd#chicagopd
111 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can't handle this anymore but Jesse Lee Soffer needs to come back as Jay Halstead!! Hailey needs to have her man back so she can be happy all over again and to go home to him all over again! Seeing Hailey sad just hurts me and other fans who feels for her!
How can we convince One Chicago and Chicago PD to make Jesse to come back?? I miss him so so much and I just can't deal with all of this without Jesse! I need to see Hailey happy again with her man by her side! This is the reason why I love One Chicago is because of Jesse Lee Soffer. He's the best actor and a cute guy to be on the show! I know it's been said that Jesse is coming back but not as Jay Halstead but Jesse needs to come back on the show and be with his newly wife and partner!
#jesse lee soffer#jay halstead#one chicago#chicago med#chicago fire#chicago pd#hailey upton#tracey spiridakos#upstead#chihards#nbc chicago med#nbc chicago fire#nbc chicago pd#dick wolf
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
karenfordonte
Caring For Donte
girls-fr0m-hell
Beauties
gray-wulf
Gray Wulf
alunasky-blog
Alunasky
extasiswings
All I Want to do is Fly