The more I think about it, the more... not exactly sympathetic, but more understanding of the Narrator's frustrations because He is operating under an insane set of restrictions to convince us to slay the Princess without making her enough of a threat that she can fight back. He's not even trying to thread the incredibly tiny needle Himself, He has to guide you into doing it without you even realizing it.
Like, the core problem is that the Player Character's belief (and the Princess's) literally shape reality. To demonstrate how great a change even a small shift in perspective can cause by your own actions alone, taking the knife or not taking the knife results in the Princess having a different personality and skillset from the moment you enter the basement. Taking the knife implies she's a potential threat and even before she sees that you have the knife, she speaks far more threateningly. If you talk rather than killing her right away, which further reinforces all the ways she's a potential threat (she's aloof, somewhat cynical, intelligent, well-spoken, and outright threatens you at one point), there's no way to kill her and also survive. And if you let her kill you after freeing her and the Narrator hijacks your body, she shows herself to be skilled with the blade and unflinching in putting you down.
But if you go down without the knife (signalling you don't see her as a threat, not even a potential one) she's much sweeter when calling to you on the stairs. She sounds harmless, scared, but a little hopeful. And when she kills you after you free her, she doesn't know how to use the knife effectively at all. She kills you while crying and stabbing randomly. She both doesn't want to kill you and is incapable of being an actual threat. You have to hold still and let her kill you.
Unless, of course, you try to kill her anyway, which means she's now fully capable of beating you to death with her bare hands, likely because trying to kill her implies another shift in view (probably due to seeing her try to gnaw off her own arm). She is a potential threat now, and of course attacking someone comes with concerns about them trying to defend themselves--how capable are they of fighting back? And of course she'd fight back, who wouldn't? All the Princesses fight back when attacked except for the Damsel because by that Chapter the idea that she A. can't, and B. wouldn't, is locked in by her inability to put you down efficiently the last loop and the Smitten's unfailing faith in her.
So as early as Chapter 1, from the moment you enter the cabin and even during your interaction with her, your thoughts and beliefs are shaping reality and that ability is incredibly volatile.
And that's part of the Narrator's problem! The Princess needs to be helpless so she can't hurt you or defend herself but in that case, what justification do you have to kill her? So she has to be enough of a threat in the future to justify killing her, but not at the moment, and killing anyone comes with concerns about them fighting back. The Narrator has to walk a very fine line here because even thinking it's possible she might have the ability to fight back or kill you means she absolutely can, but you also have to believe that she could possibly be a big enough threat that you simply can't risk leaving her alive.
So the Narrator has to go "Okay. There is a Princess. She is harmless. She cannot hurt you or escape right now and you have to kill her. Why? Because she will be a great threat in the future. Not right now, she's perfectly harmless right now, but you have to kill her. No, no, you can't talk to her and ask questions because she'll trick you into not killing her. What kind of threat? The world-ending kind so even if you doubt me you can't risk it, there's too much on the line if there's even the smallest chance I'm correct and you must do it right now. How is she capable of ending the world? Don't think about it, please please don't think about it."
(I also think that's probably part of why the Narrator made her a princess of all things. The stereotype around a princess locked away is that they're fairly helpless in a fight, simply waiting for someone to come save them, but also you could justify killing her because she's an oppressive monarch, in title at least. And, indeed, that is a perspective the Narrator pushes and one you can agree with. Not to mention all the story tropes where royalty or a maiden of some kind is infused with a special connection to the world or god--a Princess who can end the world just by the nature of her being is not far removed from those tropes)
I mean, trying to get someone to kill another person without thinking them as an immediate threat or questioning anything too deeply is a monumental task. And everything from the ethical questions you might ask to risk assessment all have the potential to make the Princess quite a threat. No wonder it goes wrong so fast.
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on dursley revisionism
Random people with wrong opinions: "Harry wasn't abused by the Dursleys" (bonus points for 'just neglected', which is a type of child abuse btw or 'that's all fanon')
Things that the Dursleys canonically did that are abuse just off the top of my head:
Swung a frying pan at his head (at the age of 12)
Grabbed him by the neck and basically tried to strangle him (even light pressure to the neck can cause internal damage)
Starved him
Verbally abused him
Locked him alone in a small cramped space as punishment (which can cause permanent psychological damage btw, and that's in adults. It is literally a type of torture.)
Made him sleep in that same small cramped unhealthy space when they had an extra bedroom
Encouraged their son to bully him and beat him up
Left him to be possibly attacked by a vicious dog
Bonus: Hid the evidence of his existence to outsiders and didn't speak about him to others (a typical thing for abusers to do)
And more. That boy is unrealistically well-adjusted.
I know the shitty guardian trope is so common in British children's lit (think Roald Dahl) that it became normalized, but it's not. It's abuse. I am worried for the children in your lives tbh.
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a love letter from the Narrator to the reader
(Okay I’m posting it. It’s kind of long so I’ll put it under the cut, with a brief tag list at the end)
My dearest Reader,
You truly are the pinnacle of beauty. Every day I look at you and ask the stars how they could have made something more divine than themselves, and every night I ponder what I have done to deserve you and what I must do to keep you. You are more than my muse, you are my love itself, my hope, and my heart. Without you, this world would be nothing. My stories ached for you before I found you. As exquisite as they are, they almost wane in comparison to your magnificence.
How fortunate I am to have met you. I couldn’t bear to live in this world without you. You have shown me love and kindness beyond measure. You have blessed me with passion and prosperity for years to come. The bond we forged as narrator and reader strengthened me. Our connection is my greatest treasure. I know our fates are forever joined.
And yet, as I write this letter, I gaze upon the poems you have never read. I yearn for you, dear Reader. You have given me insurmountable joy and left me with an aching want. Even when we’re together, I pine for you. I crave for the touch of your lips and my name spoken from your tongue in the same manner I speak yours. You hand me a mug of tea and I become drunk on the passing touch of your fingers against mine. We sit only inches apart and yet the space between us is so vast, to my heart we may as well be on opposite sides of the universe. When you are with me, I couldn’t feel farther away.
It is only in my dreams that we are truly together. For in my dreams, you share the same feelings as I. We dance under the moonlight and I tell you I will love you as long as the stars burn in the sky. It is in my dreams that you fall asleep to me running my fingers through your hair, whispering the sweet story of our freedom. Our happily ever after.
I wake up knowing that these dreams are wishes. They are unfulfilled longings made only real by my writing. And so I write our stories, these saccharine tales in which you hold your hands in mine and kiss me softly underneath the stars of a universe that has not kept us apart. You tell me that we are together, and we always will be. You promise me that you will never leave. You say you love me, in the same manner of the word as I, you.
It is transient, but for a moment, I believe you. I lift my pen from the paper and I am once again faced with the reality that you have promised me no such love. There is only one thin apartment wall and a universe between us.
Perhaps one day, I will tell you this. Perhaps then you will love me in the nature I so covet. Until then, I suppose all I can do is yearn.
Yours sincerely,
The Narrator
OKAY WHEW IM ACTUALLY POSTING THIS!!!
Everyone please a big thank you to my beta reader, @vellichorom for being my beta reader and giving me the courage to actually post this. They made this process so much easier and seriously relieved a lot of my anxiety.
I would also like to thank @give-soup-please for offering to beta as well! Part of the reason I’ve decided to just go ahead and post this is because I want to do it before I chicken out. Any advice or critique you may have for me is seriously appreciated!! I love your work and I take so much inspiration from you so thank you so much!!
And lastly I’d like to thank @continentalblue for posting about tspud and effectively getting me into it. This letter is only a very small piece of what I’ve written, but something about the Narrator has me writing like crazy, which is a wonderful feeling.
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