hey how the fuck do i get the motivation to keep trying

some misc scribbles <3

I love (sarcasm) that the two options for working when disabled are:

1. Work at the risk of (permanently) disabling yourself further. Go home to a paycheck that won't cover much, but at least you have money. Fight the urge to cry when you're home because you're in so much pain and you can't do basic things anymore

2. Don't work. You'll be in just as much pain, plus you will have even less money. Getting a disability check probably won't cover anything, but chin up! A single dollar is better than no dollar, right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Nobody should be forced to make the decision to work or starve, but there's an added layer of torture when your body literally cannot handle these options. My heart goes out to us all, the world can change for the better

i don’t even fucking care

Big fan of Meryl

For anyone else who is gonna struggle surviving the next 3 weeks with the angsty and tense situation of Callowmoore here's a few things from the last 2 episodes that I feel were underrated and will assist in trying to keep me sane/emotionally stable: - Matching messed up hands built for holding - Fearne nervously playing with her hair as she approaches Ashton - Ashton wanted Fearne to be either the last thing they saw if they died or the first thing they saw when they succeeded - Fearne's admittance corroborates Ashley's 4SD revelation that Fearne is in love with someone in the party but doesn't know how to process the emotions - Fearne wanted Ashton to be happy, while Ashton wanted to feel whole so they would be worthy of the Hells - Ashton twice tried to lead a search for Fearne, and instantly clocking onto Chetney saying he followed Fearne - Fearne making herself look as radiant as possible before giving Ashton the cold shoulder - Ashton only rose to Chetney's provocations until he said 'You hurt Fearne' Use how you will

Ruby is totally fine... (someone please help her lol)

An interesting little fun thing with team 7 is that you assume that Sakura's gonna, like, woobify and simplify Sasuke by putting him on a pedastal,cause her goal is centered around him and shes a 12 y/o fangirl so like of course her understanding of him is skewed cause she doesnt see him as a person, just an object of affection, right? She's can't get Sasuke, can't imprint on and/or traumabond with him like Naruto and Kakashi do. They don't see him with rose tinted glasses, because they've lived through their own Horrors and empathize with Sasuke's experience.

......right?

WRONG lmao!! They have too many ghosts!! Naruto's single-minded codependent ass won't get out of his own way long enough to see Sasuke for who he actually is, only able to empathize with the parts of his trauma Naruto relates to and not really capable of understanding him outside of the context of himself (because Sasuke is. His other half). And Kakashi is far too jaded to be fair to him!! He can't decide if Sasuke is gonna end up as a mini-him or a mini-Obito or maybe a mini-Itachi, but either way he ALSO is too traumatized to see Sasuke AS SASUKE.

meanehile SAKURA'S autistic ass may have dogshit empathy, but you know what she does have? A special interest in sasuke. Nothing better to do then give herself a degree in Uchihaisms. She can write character studies about him. she can read his soul. Whenever she says something about him she is right. Every fucking time! She is RIGHT!!!!

'sasuke would NOT compliment me this directly or explicitly express worry unprompted, especially if it gets in the way of his goals' correct.

'Sasuke shouldn't hide that curse on his neck its not healthy BUT if I tell anyone about it he'll never trust me again, which might be even more dangerous for him then the curse mark. Like he can probably handle the curse mark but no one else can stop him from ripping peoples arms off.' correct.

Speaking of! 'Sasuke would not hurt me even when he seems to be...possessed? whatever the only way to knock him out of it is to present myself as Alive and thus something to be protected rather then something to be avenged, because he gets really stuck in his own head about revenge' CORRECT

'hey so um. like. Sasuke's gonna leave Konoha. I'm not sure anything can stop him at this point and honestly I'm kinda starting to doubt anything should, so the only thing I could possibly do to help him at this point is ALSO defect.' CORRECT!!!!

I'm so normal about Him

of course my Welcome Home oc was gonna be a dragon. big ol plush dragon. Derry my beloved <3

I've noticed this idea that if you're "truly disabled," you must aggressively seek out the diagnosis and the tests to prove it, but...

I got a normal test result recently, and I'm already ready to quit trying to find answers. This is an issue I have had since I was a child, and frankly, I feel grateful to have the very basic test ordered by my doctor. I feel grateful to have been taken seriously enough to have had that basic test ordered.

Add to this the fact that if you're doing test after test after test after test, you might eventually find that your doctor's sympathy and patience run dry. Is it fucked up? Yes. There's this fine line between "is this something that needs to be answered?" and "will my doctor even try to help me?" and not every disabled person can hop from doctor to doctor to find the one who actually fucking cares enough to stick with their patients and believe them.

This entire rant is just a reminder that... disabled people are tired, man. Not all of us can even get our foot in the door of a diagnosis, let alone be officially treated for it. There are so many reasons as to why somebody "quits" trying to find answers. It doesn't mean we aren't suffering or aren't disabled, it just means we aren't trying to find an official answer.

Got any personal thoughts on izuru

TIL that there’s a surprising amount of people that like thirst over for him haha /lh

Izuru is what crazy hard depression feels like. Unhygienic, ratty, nasty, lame to talk to, not cool. Izuru is the defense mechanism of shutting out all emotion, so technically aro/ace (not saying aroaces are devoid of emotion AT ALL that's straight not true but izuru would just not give a ahit about romance or sex at all it is literally nothing to them)

girl math is making $670 for the week and then spending $650 of it on a credit card bill and now you're excited because you made a profit of $20 in your bank account and $650 more of free money

A silly guide on how I draw normal Riolu vs My sona

Geunseo said to me

You shall die by my hand

and wrote pre-regression yhyj