#my current piece is definitely following the same theme lmao there's only one thing i draw when i'm stressed out and it's h/c
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Since the jemistrap ruffled someone's feathers, and since there's stuff I've been wanting to broach abt the non replica for a while. I have some tough news to break abt another potential thing from kilworth house (not tough as in I think it's bad, tough as in if yall had any moral consistency you'd stop watching this show rather than go after people for shipping what the show gives us to ship)
Alonzo is likely in secondary school. I made a whole post breaking this down.
Demeter is decidedly not a schoolgirl
They likely went with Demelonzo, not Demestrap. In the clip we have of the Ball, not only are Jemima and Munkustrap dancing together, but so are Demeter and Alonzo. This photo also implies Alonzo was the one demeter rushed to following the Macavity fight
Sailor dresses aren't the exclusive domain of young children. Nautical inspired fashion was popular in the 30s (as was a high waistline), and explicitly sailor-themed dresses were huge in the 40s (there was a fucking war)
(That last one was the main dress I was referencing while drawing my piece)
Pigtail braids, likewise, are definitely not exclusive to young children, especially if someone has a lot of hair but isn't actively styling it up atm.
But here's the thing:
It actually doesn't matter whether or not she's "intended" to be a certain age. I think she might have been, but I haven't seen the full show.
Even if she's intended to be a little kid, I don't see her that way so tough shit lmao. I think it's p clear I didn't draw a child.
I'm not forcing anyone to read Jemima as older.
I'm not forcing anyone to ship her with munk
It's very out of left field and out of hand to send me anons 3 days out with the presumed intention of guilting me into thinking that shipping pretend cats is the same as allowing real children to be groomed and abused.
It's especially underhanded to finger wag at a trans person abt grooming in the current climate, especially when you and i both know these are fake characters, and you cant even cling to the idea of child actors bc every actor involved here is an adult.
Since you've got me talking abt kilworth house jemistrap, tho:
Balaclava were British military gear in ww2. Munk is in the military. Jemima is wearing a balaclava.
He's a pilot, and she's got a navy dress; air and sea
Their reason for being at the station apart from the air raid could be that he's shipping back out and she's seeing him off.
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🌰Chestnuts and Warm Milk🍂
My List of ~Favorites~ for Interactive Fiction and Visual Novels
(This is a work in progress so please bear with me)
Interactive Fiction:
The Wayhaven Chronicles (WIP Series in Development) - @seraphinitegames (Look,,, I’m just... obsessed.. I can’t stop thinking abt it,,, and I'm..... sometimes, I read and I think I feel like I know what love is.)
Mind Blind (WIP) - @mindblindbard (I just,, UGH it’s so good. I can't even say that much because my feelings about it are so potent that everytime I see an update I try to tell myself to leave it alone to play larger portions of updates as a treat and everytime my willpower FAILS and I replay the demo like twice in a row)
Demon: Recollect ; Forsaken (WIP) - both by @bathalafiction (whew...WHEW!!! Are you kidding me?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Look. I was attached to Demon: Recollect. I loved it. And then I played the Forsaken WIP and now I can't get over my absolutely BOMB character design for my player persona. Also it's kind of fun being considered a jerk in the game, because it opens up a lot of different options that I usually feel bad about taking)
Shadow Society - @carawenfiction (the concept is so interesting,, I dream of more. Also Quaiel...baby...)
The Soul Stone War - @intimidatingpuffinstudios (also whew!! I really enjoyed it and the characters all picture themselves really vividly in my mind for some reason.)
Greenwarden (WIP) - @fiddles-ifs (reading this is like thick fog.. but in a good way? I don't know how to describe it without pictures but this IF smells like fog over wet grass)
Divine Intervention (WIP) - @divineinterventiongame (the concept?? UGH SO GOOD. For some reason it's always the first game I click to check for updates)
Golden (WIP) - @milaswriting (😈😈😈😈)
Blood/line (WIP) - @bloodlineoffical (simply put,,, LARRY)
Supernatural in New York ; The Bastard of Camelot (both WIPs) - @llamagirl28 (UGH Both of these are so good in their own ways but equally as exciting to see updates for. I haven't consolidated my feelings much further than "my MC for SiNY is so cute" and "Mordred is a child" but they're all generally positive.)
Ace of Spades (WIP) - @steph-writing (I keep thinking about,,, con........)
Nevermoore (WIP) - @asteristories (AHHHHH.... let me say it again for those in the back: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
Son of Satan: The Mortal Coil (WIP) - @sosthemortalcoil (YES.)
Shepherds of Haven (WIP) - @shepherds-of-haven (yes. I just have to sigh because it's very good and I like saying those funny little words of power. But also outside of the game I can only picture this game as a great, grey border collie)
Attollo (WIP) - @attollo (Also a very interesting concept, whoo... I almost forgot how immersive it was untill I played the demo again and was reminded of how 'into it' I was straight off the bat. Also the seperate, short little piece on the blog with Sysba was also really good and I had a dream about it the other day)
Into the Shadows (WIP) - @wynnakang (whooo.... I'm sighing again, but louder. I press restart and play the demo again)
A Comedy of Manors (WIP) - @sviyaginthegreat (I kept replaying options that I hadn't chosen before because I wanted there to be more lmao)
Fallen Hero: Rebirth - @fallen-hero (I think there's a sequel coming up? I haven't stopped thinking about this storyline since I finished it omg... the.. the details are really good and I've become ridiculously attached to my tragic villain? Character... she IS the standard for my reusable IF persona, or at least one of my most prominent ones ;-D )
Samurai of Hyuga (WIP series) - (I'm pretty sure multiplechoicestudios.com is the development blog for this game, or at least what I've been checking for updates..... this is a series with four book currently out.... and I've been playing through book 4 at slower than a snail's pace in a desperate attempt to prolong my experience. I really didn't think I was going to like it as much as I did but I got a little too into it and now I'm horribly attached to all the characters)
The Porthecrawl Witness(WIP) - @porthecrawl-witness (I'm pretty sure this is a WIP?? But ugh. SCREEEEEE- it's so good. It's SO GOOD. I really want to punch Talbot in the face. And Asher, if for a different reason. And sort of Staci just to try. Quinn is just a cutie I could never hurt him like that. Ugh but they're all so good and I forgot that I was reading a WIP untill it suddenly was over..... I'mfeeling really aggressive rn as I'm writing this, so please just note that the punch comment is meant as a statement on how interesting the concept and immersiveness of the characters and story is)
Forgotten Names (WIP) - by Alexandra_Zorila on the CoG Forum (turn the volume up. AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Look, look. It's..... delicious. It's SO interesting and I obsessively have a tab open on my computer to check for updates)
OFNA: Birds of a Feather (WIP) - @ofna (the vibes are so grey and smoky but the fog is definitely from a party smoke machine and the room is only dark because the walls are taped with those huge sheets of black construction paper that teachers use to cover their bulletin boards with... the game definitely falls in the 'dark and mysterious' genre but something just strikes me as really funny when I play it. Anyway it's good and it's in a lot if recommended lists for a reason. Also I'm very attached to my American Goldfinch)
More Things in Heaven and Earth (WIP) - @morethingsgame (in the same way that it's fun to play Guenevere in the Guenevere game or Mordred in The Bastard of Camelot, playing Ophelia in the sort-of Hamlet story is really fun. If anyone has read the Missing collection- which I absolutely love- by Margaret Peterson Haddix, this gives me similar vibes for some reason. Anyway, I really want to give Hamlet a hug and make him a flower crown or something)
A Tale of Crowns (WIP) - @ataleofcrowns (It's kind of not even funny how much I love this game... It's hard to even describe why I like it, just that it's so well rounded in terms of the story, characters, dialogue, and relationships. It's such an interesting plotline and it's pretty immersive. Also the first time I read the demo, there was an update as I was reading and the high that sent me on has very rarely been matched. Also Dara running to save my Crown in the tunnel?? 🤚😩🤭💓 ugh. UGH!! That's good food for my fool heart)
Scout: An Apocalypse Story (WIP)- @anya-dev (I'm usually not that into apocalypse themes/plots but I really enjoyed this game, and the plot was very good and intruiging... it really pulled me in and I like my character in the story a lot. I don't know why but it tastes like chikuwa, atsuage, and this specific type of carmelized onions that my mom makes sometimes)
Nothing left to burn (WIP)- @clowdee-works (......ouch. I *knew* what was going to happen and I STILL became attached to Drew)
Smoke and Velvet - @roast-ifs (It's good. And I am VEDY much into my character design. Also the story is really interesting, and I enjoy the setting a lot somehow)
Speaker (WIP)- @speakergame (very fun to play, and each update gets me more interested in the aspects of the plot. I also really like the little descriptions of what the characters think of the player)
The Nameless (WIP)- @parkerlyn (interesting plot, I like the characters a lot, and The aesthetics of this world are so interesting. Definitely had a good time visualizing what everything looked like)
Fields of Asphodel (WIP) - @asphodelgame (I think it's really cute so far!!! I like mythology in general, and the persephone/hades dynamic is *mwah!*... I like the way the story progresses in the beginning, and I think it works well in drawing the reader into the world. I also very much enjoy petting large dogs.)
...there are so much more.. and I have followed so many blogs.........
I'm not sure why I can't find it rn but there's this one WIP game that I really like where the MC buys a manor for like dollar and moves to go live there with her best friend and shenanigans ensue as they try to settle in and fix up the estate
Harbringer (WIP) - @harbringercog (....are you KIDDING me?? I was fully planning on just enjoying the demo and keeping a mental note to update the list sometime later,,, but this game... THIS GAME really made me fold. It's very immersive and regardless of how nervous the author claims to be after releasing the demo, it's of my humble opinion that those nerves can be calmed. It's very good. I was planning on procrastinating and reading a little bit and then going back to this essay I need to write, but somehow I got pulled in and ended up reading through the whole demo and it's apparent that I honestly had no chance of getting through this without becoming invested in the plot.... just... so good.. I'm very excited to see how this will progress)
Visual Novels:
Andromeda 6 (WIP) - @andromeda-six (I repeat: Obsessed, I come back every few months to see an update and I fall deeper into the hole every time...)
To the Edge of the Sky (WIP,, probably) - by Ajané (??) on Steam (I think, it’s been a while)
Next on my list to check out: Perfumare by pdrrook
Does.... does The Arcana game by Nix Hydra count as VN?? If so, then yes.
Similarly, the FictIF games are all entertaining, although Last Legacy and Heir to Love and Lies are my favorites rn (and.....unfinished....)
I also don't know if this counts, because I kind of consider Otome games to be their own genre, but on the Love 365: find your story by Voltage Inc. There are a bunch of fun stories, my favorite of which are: the Shinichi Kagari route on After School Affairs and the Saejima and Keiichiro routes on Bad Boys do it Better
..To be continued...
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Anyone who has been following me for a while has probably seen me talk about a project I’ve been hoping to get started - creating a Queen themed tarot deck. Well, good news, I’ve finished basic planning stuff and I’m ready to start actually making the cards!
BUT I am definitely not up to creating 78 individual artworks, so that’s where this post comes in.
I’m looking for artists who would like to create a piece or two which will be used in this tarot deck. I’ve organised general ideas of what each card will feature so that we get a good range of images and theres a connection to the meanings of each card.
For the moment I’m going to focus on the Major Arcana of which there are 22. So, if you are an artist in the Queen fandom and would be interested in participating please follow the link below to a short survey I’ve created where you’ll be asked to rank the cards in order of which you’d be most interested in creating art for.
LINK
Below the cut I have included the list of cards and the prompts for each one, as well as some other info about the project. If you have any questions that weren’t covered below please send me a message (via ask box or dm)!
If you see this and aren’t artistically inclined please give it a reblog. I’d love this post to reach as many artists as possible and I can’t rely on tumblr to show it in the tags or anything so I would love some extra help spreading the world.
Why A Tarot Deck?
I’m honestly not even sure where exactly this idea came from. All I remember is that one day I thought it would be a fun idea and then I started thinking about it more and realised just how much work it would be. In an effort to learn about the meanings of the tarot cards I started learning to read tarot (something I’ve been curious about for many years now anyway) and it all sort of snowballed from there.
Why Multiple Artists?
Because I’m not confident or capable enough of pulling this off on my own lmao. I enjoy making art but I struggle big time with drawing people and faces and I know I would give up after a handful of cards if I was doing this on my own. But multi-artist decks are very much a thing in the tarot community and theres some really cool ones out there.
What Sort of Art?
Anything. Whatever medium you enjoy using - digital, watercolour, acrylics, charcoal, etc - and whatever your style is! As long as you can send me a clean copy that can fit into the card template, then you can do what you like. The prompts I’ve chosen for each card are also fairly loose because I didn’t want to limit anyone’s creativity. Part of the joy of a collaborative deck is everyone’s individual interpretations of the cards and the imagery on them.
The only times I may say you can’t depict a particular outfit or moment is if I’ve already planned it to be on one of the minor arcana cards but otherwise you’ll have free reign.
I Don’t Know Anything About Tarot, Does That Matter?
NOPE! After the survey responses have been collected I will deal out the cards to everyone (hopefully in a way where everyone gets to work on something they really want to 🤞) and part of that will include a PDF with some information about the card - keywords associated with it, examples of other decks, why that prompt was chosen for it, etc - to help you get started if you need it. I am also always available to ask questions or bounce ideas off of.
Distribution?
This is the part I’m still looking into. I am wary of putting these up for sale anywhere because obviously there are copyright things and using people’s likenesses and all of that and the last thing I want is for my favourite band to take me to court lmao. Currently I am investigating a site called Make Playing Cards which basically lets you design your own card decks (one of the specific options being tarot cards) and print them off without having to bulk order anything. I’m just not entirely sure if they let you upload and share a design for free or if you have to put them up for sale. I’ll also create a PDF version that people can print themselves at home if they like. If anyone has any other suggestions for this I am all ears!
Of course something like Kickstarter is also an option I guess but, again, I’m still looking into all of this.
Time frame?
I definitely do not want to rush this. The loose timeline I’ve been working off of gives you three or four months to create your card after which time I can start finding people for the minor arcana cards. But, this can be adjusted depending on how many people sign up and y’know if everyone submits their pieces earlier than that then we can bump the next stage up. But I want to give everyone ample time to create something they are proud of. And I am very aware that the current global situation is affecting people’s creative energies and on top of that some of you may be participating in Inktober or similar things around this time of year, so I am also happy to extend the timeline.
What Happens If Not Enough People Sign Up?
Look, I guess it depends on how few artists are interested. Ideally I’d get enough people to do the major arcana but I’m not getting my hopes up. There is a question in the survey asking if you’d be willing to create multiple pieces so if there are left over cards I can hand them out to anyone who says they want them. I can also do a couple myself I just can’t do all 78 cards on my own.
What Happens If Too Many People Sign Up?
I am surprisingly prepared for this scenario. Firstly there were a few ideas I was throwing around that didn’t end up being used in the final list so potentially we can create some alternate cards.
Secondly, there is still the minor arcana to do as well. The minors will work a bit differently though. The minor arcana is similar to a deck of playing cards with four suits (wands, cups, pentacles, swords) and the numbers ace through ten plus four court cards (king, queen, knight, page). I was thinking the same artist could pick a number or court position and create the four cards for it so that they all match, if that makes sense. That way all of the Fours will look the similar and all of the kings will look similar etc. SO if anyone doesn’t get to do a major arcana I’ll check if they’d be interested in tacking a minor instead.
You Said There Would Be A List Where’s The List?
The Fool/s - Smile
The Magician/s - Queen
The High Priestess - Freddie in The Great Pretender
The Empress - Roger in The Great Pretender
The Emperor - Miami
The Hierophant - The Prophets Song
The Lovers - Freddie and Jim
The Chariot - Tour Bus
Justice - Present Day Bri
The Hermit - Older John
Wheel of Fortune - A Night At The Opera/Bohemian Rhapsody record
Strength - Ben Hardy
The Hanged Man - Highlander (or any of the queen songs featured in it)
Death - Bri in the Hard Life video
Temperance - Naked bicycle race
The Devil - Death on Two Legs
The Tower - Frank from News of the World
The Star - Rami Malek
The Moon - Gwilym Lee
The Sun - Joe Mazzello
Judgement - Adam Lambert/Q+AL?
The World - Made In Heaven/Tribute Concert
As you can see there’s a mix of Queen themselves, other people associated with them, objects associated with the band, and songs. I know some of these are sightly out there or unusual but please have a think about them and see if any spark your interest or get the creative juices flowing. I am also open to discussing potential other images to use instead if you’ve got an idea. As long as they can be tied to the meaning of the cards.
#queen#queen band#queen art#freddie mercury#freddie mercury art#brian may#brian may art#roger taylor#roger taylor art#john deacon#john deacon art#please god don't let this flop#also please ignore the rushed graphic#i just thought more people would stop and look if there was an image lmao
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Do you think you could break down your tsukumizu iceberg for the uninitiated? They were on tumblr? The fish? Cum iPad? Hello???
sorry, i can't explain my art
lmao sure let's just go in order i guess
Layer 1 -
self explanitory
Layer 2 -
I'm not sure where the fish motif came from but it's one of the most common repetitions in their art. They draw fish a bit less now, but art with fish used to, and probably still does, outnumber art without fish.
Layer 3 -
The "its all connected theories" bit references chi and yuu being in shimeji simulation and people trying to piece together how their worlds are related.
Tkmiz used to have a tumblr account where they used to upload short animations. It sat dormant for a long while before they decided to delete it not long ago. Surprisingly, unlike all of their other past accounts, they decided to preserve the contents of this one and you can view them all as an extended video on their twitter.
Layer 4 -
self inserts: the black haired, rectangle glasses scientist is basically tkmiz's self insert, no matter if she's ishii in glt or shijima's sister in shimsim.
gender: related to above. tkmiz's personal projection being a girl, themes of lesbianism, and even mentions of crossdressing/wanting to be a girl have led to fans that are in-the-know to debate on what tkmiz's gender identity might be; this is also why I refer to them with they/them pronouns. It's no surprised internet trans girls love tkmiz.
irl photos: I've never seen a definitive pic of what tkmiz actually looks like, but in the past they used to semi-frequently post pics of their living space. Backyards, sunsets, what seem to be the entrance to their apartment, what they ate for dinner, etc etc. Nothing too exciting.
Gon the dog: related to above. Tkmiz used to have a dog named Gon who they would occasional post a pic of or draw. Sadly Gon is now deceased.
Suicide and wine: many of tkmiz's older works have heavy themes of suicide and alcohol abuse
Fanart: they rarely draw fanart anymore but they used to do so much more regularly. Notable references are girls und panzer, gunslinger girl, nekojiru, yume nikki, eizouken, and their oldest artworks are all touhou fanart.
Layer 5 -
Parasociality: this is in reference to tkmiz becoming a cult classic within certain circles of the internet, most notably depressed lainbrains and sad internet trans girls. Ya know, nerds like me
Artbook havers (me): a few years ago tkmiz published a physical print artbook that's now long, long out of print.
Deleted Twitter: the majority of tkmiz's works are no longer available because they were either on accounts that don't exist anymore, or tkmiz deleted them along ago from their current profile.
B2 Bomber: related above. I believe tkmiz had two different pixiv accounts, both of them long gone, and 'B2 Bomber' was the oldest. If you want to see a tiny glimpse of their second pixiv on the Wayback Machine, their ID was 1535101.
Historical art inspo: tkmiz went to university to become an art teacher before dropping out. Many of their older works are references to more well known paintings, especially the works of Gustav Klimt who seemed to be a favorite.
Irl life info: We don't know a lot about them, the enigmatic personality is by design after all, but we do know a few things. Like them being a college dropout, using the proceeds from the glt anime to take their parents to an onsen, etc etc.
Layer 6 -
2chan: much of what remains of the art and posts that tkmiz tried to nuke were preserved by members of 2chan.
Nsfw flan doujins: oh boy where's where things first get interesting. Long, long ago the first manga that tkmiz self-published were lolicon h-doujins of flandre scarlet from touhou. There were three of them, followed by a completely safe doujin called "flan wants to die" which is still easy to find.
Comiket tables: related above. If you dig hard enough, you can find the convention floor vendor lists that mention tkmiz and their booth number from when they had to sell their h-doujins by hand. I think they only sold one of the books at comiket, the other two were sold at different conventions and only ever in very limited psychical editions like most h-manga of the day.
Layer 7 -
The Shimeji Prequel: There is a very ancient comic from back before tkmiz had much artistic experience (even before the aforementioned flan doujins) that still features a girl who kind of looks like shijima (and chito, they probably began as the same oc) and another character that's identical to tkmiz's self insert/shijima's scientist sister. The comic is nsfw in nature, and proto-shijima gets eaten out by her classmate named Yoshiko who immediately dies. Because there are many references in modern shimsim to this character (or someone kind of like her) its believed she's still cannon, is the reason for Shijima locking herself in a closet for so long, and will likely be a plot revelation later in the manga. I doubt the oral sex will be mentioned though.
Layer 8 -
CUM IPAD
This is another referenced to a deleted tweet. There used to be a time when tkmiz would be horny on main and just post about jerking off. You can probably imagine the rest
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Currents {Surfer!CH}
a/n: ok so this was supposed to be like surfer!calum but uhhh i kind of forgot that whole plot as i was writing it lmao? there’s some, like beachy themes and mentions of surfing, and i didn’t want to change the moodboard because it’s kind of relevant, but it’s not like, all about surfing. but i still hope y’all enjoy this 17k random cute calum content hehehe happy reading :)!!! (also if this flops let’s pretend it didn’t happen because i haven’ written in like months) ~~~
***
***
Currents: A body of water or air moving in a definite direction.
Summary: Needing a change and needing to get away from her over-controlling mother, Joey moves across the world to live with her cousin in Australia, where she meets mysterious surfer boy, Calum.
***
“Joey!” Her head snapped up from her phone, a smile making its way onto her tired face at the sight of her cousin that she hadn’t seen in way too many years. Elise, Joey’s cousin who was only four years older than her, was nice enough to let her escape her life in Seattle, and stay with her in Australia for however long she pleased. “You look exhausted.”
“Yeah.” Joey laughed, pulling away from their hug, smiling down at her shorter, but older and gorgeous, cousin. She missed having her cousin around. Elise having left the city to move to Australia after meeting and falling in love with a man who was from there, Joey rarely got to see her her favorite, and only cousin on her mother’s side. “Fifteen hour flight will do that to you.”
“Right, right.” Elise hummed, picking up the three bags that Joey brought, and nodded her head in the direction of where her car was parked, still on with her hazard lights flashing. She knew they couldn’t stand there any longer and chat due to the crazy traffic that the busy airport brought. “Let’s getcha home!”
The drive from the airport to Elise’s house in the small city just outside of Sydney was only twenty minutes away, and for that Joey was thankful. All she wanted to do was take a shower to wash off the airplane smell and grime, put on her favorite t-shirt, and crawl into bed. She knew that getting used to the time difference, and sleeping off the jet lag, would take more time than she wanted it to, but, she had all the time in the world to sleep and adapt to her new, temporary home.
“So,” Elise tapped on the steering wheel and glanced at her cousin, smiling at the way she was looking at her surroundings in awe. She had never been to Australia before, and Elise remembered her reaction was the exact same the first time she visited. “How long are you planning on staying?”
Joey puffed out a breath of air and readjusted herself, turning to lean against the window of the bright yellow Jeep that Elise was driving, and pulled her legs to her chest. She twisted her lips from side to side, not knowing the answer to give Elise, since she didn’t even know herself. “No clue. Not forever, obviously, but just long enough for my mom to realize that what she’s pushing me to do is what she wants, not me.”
“Still pushing the whole lawyer thing, huh?”
“She won’t give it up.” Joey rolled her eyes. Even the mere thought of her mother pissed her the hell off. She loved her mother dearly, she really did, but she couldn’t stand the pressure and all the pushing her mother was doing. “I mean, I’m twenty-two years old, for God’s sake. I think it’s a little too late to go to law school.”
Elise giggled, nodding her head in agreement. “How is your mom? I haven’t talked to her in months.”
“Fine, I guess. Just the same neurotic, control freak, mother Jill.”
“Well, now you got me; fun, laid back, favorite cousin, Elise.”
Joey laughed, shaking her head in amusement, but still smiling at the thought of being in a new city, with her favorite cousin who lived two minutes away from the beach, thousands and thousands away from her mother.
***
The Australian sun shining through Joey’s curtain-less windows was a pleasant change from the gloomy and rainy Seattle sky that she was used to. Letting out a high pitched squeal as she stretched her tired and sore body, Joey stared up at her ceiling in complete happiness. She had been sleeping on and off for nearly a week, trying to get used to the time change and rid herself of jet lag. It seemed to be working, considering Joey felt much better that morning than all of the others.
“She’s alive!” Elise clapped her hands at the sight of a tired looking, bed-headed Joey in nothing but her oversized t-shirt that stopped mid thigh. “I was just about to go upstairs and make sure you were still breathing.”
“Not to worry. I’m all rested up now.” Joey assured her, sliding into one of the wooden chairs at the dining table, crossing her arms on the table and resting her head on them. She hummed happily, contently, at the feeling of the sun beaming down on her and the smell of bacon cooking and coffee brewing. “So,” Joey got up to pour herself a cup of coffee. “What are we doing today?”
Elise laughed, flipping the bacon over and spun around, resting her back against the counter to look at Joey. “Whatever you wanna do,” Elise winked. “We could grab some lunch and go to the beach?” Joey nodded her head in agreement, wanting nothing more than to explore her new town. “But, do you mind if my boyfriend comes with? He’s been out of town teaching surfing lessons and I told him we could hang out.”
Joey’s ears perked up at the sound of meeting Elise’s boyfriend she had heard so much about. “That’s fine.” Joey finished her coffee and put the cup in the sink. “I’ll go get ready then!”
Joey skipped up the stairs and happily pranced to her bedroom that she loved so much. Seafoam green walls with yellow, pink, and blue objects and accent pieces to match it, a huge window taking up a whole wall, and her own small, but personal, bathroom.
After her much needed shower, Joey let her dirty blonde hair air dry, keeping it natural in loose waves, applied her daily light amount of makeup, and dressed herself in a yellow bikini with a white, flowing cover up on top.
She felt a bit exposed, with her bikini showing through her coverup, but Elise assured her that nobody would be staring, it was normal for people to walk around in just swimwear. That was one thing, out of many, that Joey would have to get used to.
***
“Are we day drinking?” Joey asked as her eyes looked through the menu that Elise had already memorized, having been there a million times. The menu was endless and Joey really wasn’t sure what she was in the mood to eat.
Elise scoffed out a laugh, Ashton’s high pitched giggle following after hers. On both of their days off they enjoyed drinking and spending time at the beach. “Is that even a question? Of course we are.”
They ordered their respective drinks and food and made small talk while they waited for their food to be served. Clearing his throat, Ashton leaned forward and laced his fingers together. “So, Joey, tell me about yourself.”
“Erm, what do you want to know?” Joey laughed nervously. She wasn’t sure why she was nervous, really, it was just her cousin’s boyfriend, after all. But that question always put her on edge.
“The basics.” Ashton shrugged. Joey went on to tell Ashton about herself; why she moved away, how long she was planning on staying, and so forth.
“I’m currently job hunting,” Joey puffed out her cheeks. Job hunting was one of her least favorite things, ever. It took way too long and was way too stressful and was never promising. “El said she isn’t charging me rent, but I feel bad, so I want to pitch in and help out.”
“Oh, really? Well, I own the surf shop down the street and I’m looking for some new people to work. I have a few guys workin’ for me, but they’re more focused on the surf instructor side of the shop, so I’m in need of a cashier.” Ashton told her and Joey quirked an eyebrow. “If you’re interested, you have the job.”
“Seriously? You’ll give me a job? Just like that?”
“Why not?” Ashton shrugged. “You’re Elise’s cousin, I trust my judgement, and you.”
Joey grinned happily, clinking her glass against Ashton’s, her new boss, and felt a weight lifted off of her shoulders. She finally had a job, after a week of living there, and all she could think about was how things were finally starting to look up.
***
Joey was nervous, to say the least, as she walked into Ashton’s shop, Surf and Co. A basic name, she thought, but that’s exactly what it was - surfing equipment, swimwear, towels, and everything else that is a beach essential.
“Joey, hey!” Ashton waved her over to the counter where the cash register and another guy were standing. Another very attractive guy. “This is Luke,” Joey looked at him, taking in his bright blue eyes, blonde curly hair, and tanned skin. “He’ll be training you. He’s a great friend and a good teacher.”
Oh, God. Joey thought. She was already nervous for her first day and now this ridiculously attractive surfer was training her? Her body felt like it was on fire and it wasn’t just from the sun that was shining through the large window to her left.
“Nice to meet ya, Joey,” Luke extended his hand for her to shake and she did so politely, and nervously. His smile was bright and pretty and it had Joey smiling back easily.
“Yeah, you too, Luke.”
Ashton excused himself, going to his office in the back of the store to finish some paperwork and payroll, leaving Luke to show Joey the ropes of the store.
Joey had worked in retail before in Seattle, so she learned quite quickly how to work the register which Luke was thankful for, since it gave them time to chill out and get to know each other better, since it was a slow Monday afternoon. The store didn’t usually pick up until after three when people were starting to get off work.
“Have you made any friends yet?” Luke asked, spinning around in the wooden stool that was behind the counter.
“Erm, not really.” Joey laughed sadly, with a small shrug. “I mean I haven’t really had time, you know? With trying to get adjusted to everything, unpacking, and trying to find a job, I’ve been a bit busy.”
Luke modded his head in understanding. “Well, at least you have Elise, right?” Joey hummed in agreement, a small smile pulling at her lips at the thought of her cousin. “She has a lot of friends, including me and the rest of the guys, so I’m sure you’ll be meeting new people soon. But, in the meantime, you can hang out with me.” Luke flashed her a beautifully blinding smile, showing off his pearly whites.
Joey smiled at how nice and thoughtful Luke was being, even though she didn’t know who the hell the ‘rest of the guys’ were, but she was sure she would find out soon enough.
***
The party that Elise had talked Joey into going to was in full swing. Ashton’s house was packed full of people, only three of them that Joey knew, but the alcohol was helping her let loose and her anxiety dissipated with each sip she took, even though the liquor burned her throat.
A sudden elbow to her back had Joey spinning around to see who was behind her, though she was sure it wasn’t anybody she knew, but was surprised to see Luke. “Oh, hey.” Joey laughed.
“Joey, hi!” Luke pulled her into a side hug, slinging his arm over her shoulder, Joey happily reciprocating the hug. He smelled like booze, which was to be expected, and she sure she did, too. “Havin’ fun?”
“I guess so,” Joey shrugged. “Don’t really know anybody here, though. And I’m not sure where Elise ran off to.”
“Well,” Luke dropped his arm, taking Joey’s hand in his, pulling her along with him. “Let’s go change that!” Joey really appreciated how friendly and welcoming Luke was being, considering she was the new girl in a town where everybody knew everybody, and he could be spending his time doing anything else. “Guys, this is Joey!”
Two guys, sitting around the fire, looked up at the sound of Luke’s voice, one of them smiling up at the girl that Luke was introducing, the other’s face stoic, never changing.
“Nice t’meet you, Joey! I’m Michael.” He stood up, shaking her hand happily, Michael grinned at her. He, too, like every other male in Australia, it seemed, was also quite cute with a contagious smile. “You’re Elise’s cousin, right?”
“That’s right.” Joey smiled at him. “Nice to meet you, too.”
“This is Calum,” Luke pointed in the other guys' direction, Joey’s eyes following his long finger, gaze landing on the most gorgeous looking man she had ever seen, even in the darkness, she could see his face just fine from the flames from the bonfire. “You’ll be seein’ a lot of them.”
“Nice to meet you,” Joey extended her hand out to Calum as he approached her and Luke, but much to her surprise, and disappointment, all he offered her was a purse of his lips and a head nod, walking directly past her and inside the sliding doors.
“Um,” Joey frowned. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Nah,” Luke sighed sadly. “That’s just Calum, distant and non-approachable. He’s a bit closed off around new people, but you’ll get used to him in due time, no worries.”
Luke was reassuring, kind of, but Joey still didn’t like the feeling of being brushed off by a guy who she didn’t know, and who didn’t know her.
***
Calum couldn’t stop staring at her from across the kitchen. And he hated himself for it. “I thought you said that Joey is Elise’s cousin?” Calum asked Luke as the two of them leaned against Ashton’s kitchen counter.
“She is.” Luke confirmed with the nod of his head.
“So, Joey is a she?” Calum frowned, his eyes never leaving Joey, who was standing in the living room laughing at something Ashton and Michael were saying.
“You sound disappointed.” Luke said, his voice full of amusement.
“I just thought we would be gettin’ another dude around here to hang out with. Not-“
“A pretty girl?” Luke smirked, bumping Calum’s shoulder with his own, receiving an elbow to the ribs. Pretty was an understatement, Calum thought.
But, Calum knew that Luke was right. Joey was attractive, gorgeous even, with already slightly tanned skin, light colored, but not blonde hair, and a few tattoos scattered on her body. Even in the dim lighting, Calum could so clearly see how bright and pretty her green eyes were.
“What’s your deal with her? You didn’t even say hi to her, you totally stiffed her, dude.” Luke frowned down at his barely shorter friend. Luke liked Joey so far, only knowing her for a few days, but he liked her vibe and her personality. He didn’t understand why, without Calum even knowing her, didn’t.
Calum simply shrugged, pushing himself off the counter to walk away from Luke and busy himself with the other people he knew in the house, those people not being his friends, who were surrounding Joey and listening to her animatedly tell a story, with Elise joining in every so often.
Calum was going to stay far away from her. Or at least try to.
***
“That’s so amazing,” Joey sighed in amazement as she watched the dozens of people effortlessly surfing the waves, Elise and her friends included. She never thought she would be living on a beach, but she loved every second of it, even if it was only the second and a half week of her being there. “I wish I could be that good at something.”
“Why can’t you be?” Michael asked, looking at her behind his shaded eyes. The two of them, the only two in the group of friends that didn’t know how to surf, were sitting on the huge beach towel laid out on the sand, listening to music, and sipping Corona.
“I have no skills,” Joey admitted with a laugh. “I especially have no skills when it comes to being in the water, you know, like, water sports.”
“You and me both.” Michael snorted. “I’ve lived here my whole life and all my friends can surf or wakeboard, and here I am, talentless and jealous.” Michael didn’t really mind, he would rather sit and do nothing and watch his talented friends, than put the time and energy into learning something new. Laziness was something he and Joey had in common.
“We should take lessons,” Joey suggested with a cheeky smile. She bumped his shoulder with his, prompting him to look at her and crack a smile. “I’ll do it if you do it.”
“Seriously?” Michael laughed, not even being able to picture himself sitting, let alone standing and riding, on a surfboard. And, really, Michael was just too lazy. He wasn’t ashamed to admit it. “I would probably break my neck, so I’m gonna have to pass on that, Joey.”
“Pass on what?” Elise panted as she jogged up to the pair, shoving her board into the sand and collapsing down on the towel with Ashton, Luke, and Calum following her shortly after.
“Surfing lessons,” Joey hummed happily, her head thrown back, her hair brushing the towel below her, letting the sun bake her skin.
“You totally should!” Luke exclaimed excitedly. He would have offered to teach her, but he didn’t have enough time on his hands. “I’d give you lessons, but I’m booked for a few months, so is Ash.”
“It’s oka-“
“Calum’s not,” Ashton interrupted her quickly, kicking Calum’s foot with his own, a smirk on his face.
“I’m not what?” Calum looked up from his phone, with furrowed eyebrows, clearly confused and clearly paying no attention to the conversation at hand. Joey wasn’t surprised, really, the two times she had been around him he had totally ignored her.
“Booked for surfing lessons.”
“Oh,” Calum nodded. “Yeah, ‘m always open to taking new clients. Who are we talkin’ about?”
“Joey,” Luke smiled knowingly. He wanted the two of them to get to know each other better, wanted Calum to befriend her like he and the rest of the guys did so easily, and he knew that Calum was trying to keep his distance. But why? Luke didn’t know. And he was determined to change that.
Calum let out a heavy sigh, locking eyes with Joey who was directly across from him, biting his lower lip at the nervous expression on her face. “Fine.” Calum knew he couldn’t get out of it, and neither could Joey.
***
“Hey,” Joey stood up, wiping the sand off of her bikini bottom clad butt, smiling nervously at Calum. He didn’t look too pleased to be there and Joey knew that he was doing this against his will. “Thanks for doing this.”
“Whatever.” Calum rolled his eyes, dropping his board to the sand and pulling the wax out of the pocket of his swim trunks to wax his board. “Let’s just get this over with, yeah?”
Joey frowned, but mumbled a quiet okay and followed Calum’s lead and started waxing the board that Elise had lent to her for the day. She knew that once she got the hang of it, if she ever did, she would go out and buy her own board, but the spare one that Elise had would do for now.
After learning the basics of how to stand, where to stand, and how to work the board, Calum stretched his gorgeous body, that Joey couldn’t keep her eyes off of, and looked at her expectantly. He looked bored.
“You wanna get in the water today or wait until next time?”
“Um,” Joey bit her lip. She wasn’t sure if she was ready, but she was going to pull the trigger, and she was burning hot under the blazing sun. “Today?”
“You’re going to surf in that?” Calum nodded to her body and the black string bikini she had on. He had his wetsuit in the trunk of his car, always being prepared, but he figured that Joey, who had never surfed before, didn’t own one yet. But she could easily go to the store and pick one up for herself.
Joey looked down at herself, frowned, and looked back up at Calum. Tilting her head in confusion, Joey asked him, “What’s wrong with this?”
Calum laughed, though there wasn’t a hint of humor in it, and shook his head. Jesus, Ashton, Calum thought. “Leave it to Ashton to hire a clueless girl, who knows absolutely nothing about surfing, to work at a surf shop.”
Narrowing her eyes at him, Joey crossed her arms across her chest and tilted her head to the side, glaring at him, though he was paying no attention to her. “Why don’t you like me?”
“I don’t know you, Joey.”
“Yeah and you won’t ever get to know me if you avoid me every time we hang out.”
“Alright, let’s get one thing straight,” Calum stood up straight, eyeing her down. “We don’t hang out,” he motioned between the two of them. “You hang out with your cousin, who is dating my best friend, who I hang out with all the time. If it were up to me, we wouldn’t ever be hanging out and I would not be giving you lessons today. For free.”
“Then why are you?”
“Because Ashton and Elise would be pissed at me if I didn’t. Understand?”
“Yeah, I understand,” Joey shook her head angrily. Picking up her purse, she fished a few twenties out of her wallet and threw them in Calum’s direction, paying him for the lessons and the time wasted, even though she didn’t have to. “I understand that you’re a dick. Thanks for the lesson.”
“I don’t need your money! It’s free!” Calum yelled after her, cupping his hands around his face, as she stormed away as best as she could in her flip flops in the sand, forgetting about and leaving Elise’s spare board behind. Calum could handle getting that home to her.
Turning around, Joey continued to walk, backwards this time, and yelled back at him, with her middle fingers up in the air. “I don’t want to owe you any favors, asshole!”
***
The Australian heat is something that Joey will never get used to. After living in Seattle for over ten years, and rarely ever going on vacations, sun was a rare thing in her life. And she loved it.
The loud splashing into the pool had her peeling her eyes open to see Michael on Luke’s shoulders and Elise on Ashton’s, playing a game of chicken in the in ground pool in the backyard of Elise and Joey’s house.
The lazy, but content smile on Joey’s diminished when she saw Calum walk out of the sliding doors that led out to the backyard and pool. He was invited, of course he was, but Elise was unsure if he was actually going to come, and Joey really hoped he wouldn’t. But, of course, he showed up. Two hours late.
“Cal! You’re finally here!” Michael shouted, paying more attention to Calum than to the game, and Elise took it as her chance to push his shoulders as hard as she could and knock him into the pool. “Fuck!” Michael’s cursing was the last thing to be heard before he fell backwards into the pool.
Ashton and Elise cheered in victory about their win as Calum made himself comfortable on one of the vacant pool chairs. Joey got up to throw away her empty beer bottle, opening her mouth to offer to get anyone a drink, when Luke came barreling toward her, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder. “Luke!” Joey squealed. “Put me down!”
She pounded her small fists against his butt, making him giggle, and he returned the favor, smacking his very large hand, against her scantily bikini bottom clad butt. Not too hard, but enough to make it jiggle slightly and enough for Calum not to be able to tear his eyes off of them.
Calum watched as Luke spun Joey around, playfully smacking her butt every few seconds, causing a feeling that Calum didn’t like in the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t anger, it wasn’t annoyance, he knew that, and he really hoped it wasn’t unwarranted jealousy.
“You ready, Joey?” Joey could almost hear the mischief in Luke’s voice.
“Ready for what?” She exclaimed, not getting an answer from Luke, as he was already running and jumping into the water, submerging them both. “Luke!” Her voice rang throughout the backyard as she wiped her face clean of pool water. “You’re such a dick!”
Splashing her in the face, Luke smirked deviously, mumbling a quiet, “not as dick of a dick as Calum,” into Joey’s ear before swimming away from her.
She almost regretted running her mouth about Calum to Luke, Ashton, and Elise while they were all at the shop, but she needed to get it off her chest before she exploded. She just didn’t understand why he hated her so much without even knowing her.
Joey rolled her eyes but silently agreed before pushing herself out of the water. Calum’s eyes were on Joey as she wrung her hair out, her half naked body due to her very small bikini, glistening with a combination of water, sweat, and tanning oil. He had to force himself to look away from her once their eyes met. He didn’t want to stop looking at her.
He may not have liked her, but he had to admit that she was surely a sight to be seen. Even a blind person could see that.
***
It pissed Joey off to no end how attractive she thought Calum was. His looks mixed with his accent and his tough, don’t give a shit, demeanor, was something that she found way too attractive. But his attitude towards her? A complete turn off.
“You’re staring,” Luke leaned over to whisper into Joey’s ear. Although it wasn’t quite whispering considering they were in a loud, crowded bar with music thumping. “Again.”
“Shut up,” Joey grumbled and sipped her Jack and Coke, practically having to tear her eyes away from Calum. “It’s just not fair,” she sighed dramatically. Luke raised his eyebrows, prompting Joey to continue. “He’s so attractive but he’s such a dickhead to me for no Goddamn reason!”
Luke snorted, finishing his drink that he had been nursing, since he was voted to be the designated driver of the night. “He’ll get past it, trust me.” Luke stood up, leaving a sloppy kiss on her cheek. “How could he not like you? You’re great, Joe.”
The corners of her lips turned up and she nodded as a thank you as she now finished her drink. She, too, got up to get another drink, but Luke stopped her since he was on his way to the bathroom, he offered to get her her next drink, which she appreciated. She wasn’t in the mood to stand and wait for ten minutes to get a drink.
Looking away from Luke, Joey and Calum’s eyes met, and she pursed her lips, and unsurprisingly, his face held no reaction. What else could she have expected? She didn’t think he would ever warm up to her. And she hated that feeling.
***
“Why is that your name?” Calum asked, finally breaking the silence between them for the first time since they got on their boards and paddled into the water, which had been almost over an hour.
“I’m sorry?” Joey furrowed her eyebrows.
“Your name - it’s a dude’s name.”
Joey scoffed out a laugh and shook her head, running her fingers through the still water. There hadn’t been many good waves that day, so Calum and Joey floated on their boards in silence while they waited. “It’s actually Josephine. I’ve hated it since I could say it, so I’ve always gone by Joey.”
“Why did you move here?” She looked over at Calum again, looking so perfect and natural on his surfboard, and sighed. Was he really trying to make small talk?
“Are you asking because you’re genuinely curious or you’re just bored of the silence?”
Calum shrugged. “Little bit of both, I guess.”
That surprised Joey. Calum had never taken an interest in her life and she really didn’t think he ever would, but she didn’t mind. She appreciated it, really. And she was deathly bored of sitting in the water without speaking.
“My mother is an overbearing control freak who tries to plan my every move,” Joey spit out without hesitation, shaking her head distastefully at the thought of her mother. “She’s been pushing me to go to law school since I was thirteen and never gave up. Finally, a few months ago, I told her I didn’t want to and I told her I needed to get away from her and from the city. A twenty minute phone call with Elise later and now I’m here.”
Calum opted to stay quiet and simply nod his head. He couldn’t imagine how stressful it was for Joey to grow up with so much pressure on her. His upbringing was much different with his parents letting him choose his own career path, letting him choose to do whatever it was he wanted to do, with their support.
“Sounds like shit.” Was all Calum had to say. Joey couldn’t help but laugh and nod her head in agreement. Calum watched her look out at the water, the sun glistening down on her and the ocean. As his eyes trailed down her body, they caught sight of a tattoo he hadn’t noticed before. It was a date of some sort in Roman numerals. “What’s that tattoo mean?”
Joey looked down at her ribs, tracing the date lightly, a sad smile on her face that Calum could clearly see. “The date my father died.”
Calum’s lips made an O shape and he suddenly felt bad for asking and prying into her personal life. He hadn’t ever asked her personal questions before, so he really didn’t know anything about her. It was weird, for Calum, to hear Joey open up to him.
“Hey,” Joey looked up at the sound of his voice and followed the nod of his head, looking in front of them to finally see a wave forming. “That’s all you.”
Joey swallowed the nervous lump in her throat, but pushed her anxiety to the side and paddled forward. She did everything Calum had taught her in the three lessons they’ve had, not many, but enough for her to grasp the concept of how to catch and ride a wave. Maybe not well, but she could get the job done.
The lessons paid off as Joey successfully caught and rode the wave, her excited squeals of excitement and clapping had Calum smiling at her smile and happiness against his will. He watched as she dropped into the water, popping back up just seconds later, and swam over to where Calum was sitting on his own board. Their smiles mirrored each other’s.
“Hell yeah!” Calum held his hand up for a high-five which Joey happily gave him and she tried to paddle away, but couldn’t get any further as Calum wrapped his hand around hers and pulled her closer to him. “That was amazing, really. For your first time catching a wave - I’m impressed.”
“Thanks, Calum.” Joey blushed, but couldn’t help but smile widely, showing off her pretty and perfect teeth. “All thanks to you.”
“Please,” Calum scoffed. “You’ve got natural talent.”
Joey rolled her eyes but smiled at the man in front of her, who, for once, was being nice to her. It was a weird, one-eighty, change for the two of them to be talking and laughing together, but they both welcomed it.
The moment was perfect, really. With Joey and Calum’s faces only inches away, the sound of waves crashing, and the sight of the sun setting behind Joey and in front of Calum, it was the perfect moment, Calum thought. And he didn’t want it to slip away.
Before he could process it, Calum’s lips were on Joey’s and before Joey could think about what she was doing, she was kissing him back. Calum couldn’t find it in himself to stop kissing her, not until he felt her hands in his hair, prompting him to pull away.
Their breaths were heavy and their chests panting. “We, uh,” Calum’s breath fanned over Joey’s lips and her eyes fluttered shut, hoping he would press his against hers one more time. “We should get going before it gets dark out.”
With that, Calum pulled away, paddling towards the shore, leaving Joey more confused than ever.
***
“Dude,” Elise snapped in Joey’s face, knocking her out of her daydream. Joey looked up from her nails and the chipped polish she had absentmindedly been picking at and raised her eyebrows at her cousin in question. “What is with you? You’ve been acting weird lately.”
“Ugh,” Joey threw her head back in exasperation. She had debated telling Elise about her and Calum’s weird kiss in the ocean, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to spill the beans when it really wasn’t that big of a deal. “Calum, um,” Joey cleared her throat anxiously. “I- Calum kissed me.”
“What?” Elise nearly spit her coffee out on the concrete below them. The two of them were sitting outside at the small table in the corner of their backyard, in the shade but could still feel like the sun on them, and it was nice, but the conversation about to take place was not nice. “I’m sorry - he what?”
“After I caught a wave, he seemed so happy and proud of me and I guess we got caught up in the moment and he kissed me.” Joey explained more in depth. “And then he swam away and acted like nothing happened!”
“Well, have you talked to him about it?”
Joey made a bored face. As if she had talked to him. Even if she did try to speak to him about it, she was sure he wouldn’t give her the time of day. “Yeah, right. I haven’t seen him since and I don’t have his phone number, so,” Joey trailed off in annoyance.
“Want me to talk to him?”
“God no,” Joey shook her head quickly. She didn’t want anybody else to get involved. It was her and Calum’s mess, so they had to sort it out themselves, as civil adults. “I’ll deal with it. Eventually.”
Which was going to be hard, because Joey really didn’t think Calum could act like an adult, let alone a civil one.
***
After the bar, Calum walked back to Elise’s with her and Ashton, and stayed for another drink, chatting and laughing with them in the kitchen. They all had a good buzz from being out, and Calum was in an even better mood since Joey was too tired to go out, so she was glued to Elise’s side like she always was. He hadn’t seen or spoken to her since their weird kiss, that he, regretfully, initiated, and he wasn’t looking forward to seeing her.
“Alright,” Calum chugged down the rest of his beer and stood up from the stool that was at the marble island, and shrugged his jacket back on. It was getting late and he didn’t want to be walking home too late, even though his house was only a ten minute walk away. “I’m outta here. See you guys later.”
“Get home safe! Love you!” Elise and Ashton yelled as he let himself out through the sliding doors that led to the backyard and a walkway directly to his own house.
He stopped in his tracks, unlit cigarette between his lips and lighter in hand, when he saw Joey, curled up under a blanket, a hoodie that he was pretty sure was his that Elise stole from him, with the hood up and weed leaf socks on her feet. Why she was outside? He had no clue. It was nice out, sure, but she had a perfectly fine bed inside just a few feet away.
He saw the empty glass of wine on the ground next to her, as he slowly and quietly approached her sleeping body. She looked peaceful, and adorable, as she slept, which Calum hated to admit, and he didn’t want to wake her up, but it was half past one in the morning, and he didn’t want to leave her out there in the dark and with the mosquitos.
“Hey,” Calum, crouched down to lightly shake Joey’s body, watching her stir and open her eyes, looking around in confusion. She clearly wasn’t planning on sleeping outside for the night. “Why’re you asleep out here?”
“Hmm,” Joey hummed tiredly and closed her eyes again, cuddling into herself more with her knees pulled up to her chest. Even though she was outside on a lawn chair, she was too comfy to get up. “Spider in my room. Couldn’t find it to kill it.”
Calum snorted. Typical, he thought. “C’mon, let‘s get you inside, yeah?”
“Can’t get up.”
“Jesus,” Calum huffed and pocketed his long forgotten, and much needed, cigarette, and stood up to his full height, taking the blanket off of her and draping it over his shoulder, effortlessly picking her up bridal style, and made his way inside. Joey was quite small, barely over one hundred and ten pounds and shorter than Calum, most people were, so carrying her was easy and effortless for him.
Toeing her bedroom door open, Calum flicked the light switch on causing Joey to groan and hide her face in his chest. He fucking hated now nice and natural it felt.
He had never been in her room before, didn’t have a reason to, so he looked around as he settled Joey in her bed. He had been in the room before, of course, but not since Joey made it her own. Fairy lights were hung above her bed and candles were scattered everywhere, and her bed sheets were bright white with flowers on them, unlike the boring gray ones Elise used to have on the bed.
It seemed to fit her, Calum thought, and he caught himself smiling at the picture on her nightstand, of her and Elise when they were younger. “Wait,” Calum was stopped from walking any further, his plans on leaving Joey to sleep long forgotten as the grip she had on his wrist loosened. “Stay. Please.”
Calum was hesitant, one because Joey was nearly in a full slumber, and two because he was a little bit more than tipsy and the offer sounded way too appealing. Going against his better judgment, Calum sighed heavily and took a seat on the other side of her bed, his shoes on the floor next to him, and his body above the blankets, not under like Joey was.
He couldn’t fall asleep, with her right next to him and her perfume in his nose, that was for damn sure. So he sat there, wide awake, staring at the ceiling. And before Joey could wake up, Calum was gone. He wasn’t sure what he regretted more; staying the night or leaving before she woke up.
***
The little bell above the door rang throughout the shop, and Joey locked and put her phone in the drawer to her left, wanting to look professional while she greeted the new customer. “Welcome to Surf and C-“ Joey’s words died on her tongue as she made eye contact with her mother, who she hadn’t seen in over a month. “Mom?”
“Josephine.” Jill smiled, though it was clearly fake, and looked around the shop. Her nose scrunched up at the sight of her daughter behind the counter, wearing a bathing suit with a see thru shirt and jean shorts on, her flip flops on the floor below her as she sat criss cross applesauce on the stool.
“Wh-what are you doing here?” Joey was shocked, to say the least. The last time she saw or spoke to her mother, they were screaming at each other and saying things neither of them meant, and would soon regret.
“I came to see how you were doing, sweetie.” Jill rested her arms on the counter across from Joey. Joey swallowed nervously, knowing full well that her mother would have nothing good to say. “Seems like you’re doing worse than you were in Seattle.”
“Mom-“
“You could have had it all, Josephine! A good, stable, job in a law firm, not a beach shop, and a nice man in your life. What do you have here?” Jill held her arms up, motioning to the empty store she was working in. “You have nothing going for you here. Have you even met anyone you can foresee a future with?”
“Did you really travel eight thousand miles to come lecture me?” Joey asked, completely ignoring the questions her mother was asking her and the disapproval in her voice. Joey wasn’t having it.
“I came to bring you home.”
“I’m not coming home, mom.”
“Josephine-“
“No! I’m not leaving here. Not yet.” Joey stood her ground, standing up to her mother for only the second, or third, time in her life. “You want me to leave, you want me to go to law school, you want me to find a husband. You. It has always been about you! I’m a grown woman, I’m done listening to you and your bullshit.”
Joey’s voice cracked and her eyes and nose stung and she knew she was about to start crying. Not tears of sadness, but of anger and frustration. She couldn’t stand her mother and the need for her to be perfect. Joey would never be perfect.
“You want me to be this perfect daughter and guess what? I’m not! I’m not the daughter you want me to be and I never will be. Not as long as I’m around you.”
“Fine,” Jill rubbed her gloss covered lips together and picked up her purse from the chair next to her. Joey’s eyes were filled with unshed tears. “I just want you to know that if you do change your mind and come back to Seattle, you don’t have a place in my home anymore.”
The tears finally fell. “I don’t want one.” With that, Jill turned on her heel and stormed out of the shop, no goodbyes, no I love you’s, nothing, and Joey couldn’t find it in her to care, really.
Once the door was shut, Joey hid her face in her hands and let the tears fall. She wasn’t sobbing, her shoulders weren’t shaking and there weren’t any loud sobs leaving her mouth, just a few tears that she shouldn’t have even been shedding over her mother.
“Uh, hey.” At the sound of Calum’s voice, Joey’s head snapped up. Of course he was there - the last person she wanted to see. She hastily wiped at her cheeks and avoided all eye contact with him. “You okay?”
“How long have you been here?”
“Long enough.” Calum smiled innocently. “That sounded rough.”
Joey scoffed. “No shit.”
Joey wasn’t sure what she was expecting. Maybe a half ass “I’m sorry” from Calum that he didn’t entirely mean, or total silence, but sure as hell not a hug from him. It was foreign, hugging him. They had never been so close together, despite their kiss and him laying in her bed with her - both of which they acted like didn’t happen.
“I know I don’t know the situation, but you shouldn’t let her get to you like that, yeah?” Calum mumbled, his cheek pressed against the top of Joey’s head. This is the closest, and longest, they had ever been touching each other. “I know I obviously didn’t know you in Seattle, but you seem happy here, from what I can tell. You shouldn’t let her show up here out of nowhere and fuck up your mood.”
Joey sniffled and nodded her head, her hair rubbing against Calum’s bare chest due to his wetsuit being unzipped and only hanging around his hips. “You’re right,” Joey’s voice was quiet and she figured that the goosebumps that rose on Calum’s skin were from the cold air, not her breath. “Thanks, Calum.”
“Am I interrupting something?” Luke appeared out of nowhere with a smirk on his face, and Calum, quickly and sadly, pulled away from their hug. It was too short for Calum’s liking and he found himself wanting to hold her for longer, to make her feel better after getting berated from her mother. He had no clue where these unexpected feelings came from and he didn’t want anyone to know about them. Not Luke, not Michael, not Ashton, and especially not Joey or Elise.
“Just tryin’ to cheer your friend up so she stops complaining.” Calum brushed him off, trying to act like he didn’t actually care about Joey or her feelings, which wasn’t true. Clapping him on the shoulder, Calum grabbed his surfboard and exited the shop, leaving Luke confused and Joey with an even bigger frown on her face.
Why the fuck was he so confusing?
***
“Oh, fuck.” Calum cursed under his breath as he watched another, cocky and selfish, surfer swim up on Joey and take her wave right out from under her. There were some competitive surfers in their town, it wasn’t a secret, but Calum was hoping to avoid them while he and Joey were in the water. Calum knew that Joey wasn’t really ready to go up against any other surfers, wasn’t as strong, and he was worried about what would happen.
It was unexpected and Joey hadn’t even seen the much bigger and better surfer swimming up next to her, too focused on trying to surf the wave she knew she could catch. Caught off guard, a guttural scream left her lips, catching the attention of Calum and the rest of the few surfers scattered around the beach. Calum was instantly alert, ignoring everything else around him as he watched Joey’s body fly through the air.
Her body hit the water, hard, her head smacking against her board and the impact from the huge wave and the pressure of the water splitting her board in half. “Fuck,” Calum cursed again as he paddled towards her, trying to see if he could spot her, but could only see one half of her board, the waves too hard and too big to be able to see her just yet. “C’mon, Joey.” Calum nervously cracked his knuckles.
The waves kept coming at her, the cord of her board still attached to her ankle and stuck in the coral that cut her leg up, and as the seconds passed, Calum grew more and more anxious. She had been under water far too long for his liking, so, ripping off his own cord, Calum dove into the water to find her.
The salt water stung his eyes, but that was the least of his worries, all he could think about was Joey and making sure she was okay, and it wasn’t too late. He found her seconds later, eyes closed and her body floating in her own blood, and he was beyond thankful that sharks in the water they were in were rare.
The next few seconds were a blur to Calum. He didn’t even remember pulling her out of the water and putting her on his board, quickly but safely paddling them out of the water and to the sand and screaming at the lifeguard to call an ambulance. He checked her pulse on her wrist and neck and panicked. He thanked God that Ashton made him take a CPR class in order for him to be a surf instructor, and went to work on Joey right away, trying to get her back to consciousness.
“Come on, Joe. Don’t fuckin’ die on me.” Calum grunted, pressing his lips to hers and pushing on her chest. His panic and anxiety and worry dissipated, just the smallest amount, as Joey’s eyes fluttered open and she was sputtering water out of her mouth as she slowly sat up, coughing up all the salt water that invaded her lungs. “Oh, thank God.” Calum wrapped his arms around her, holding her head in his hands as it rested against his chest to steady her weak body.
She was panting, tears in her burning eyes, her mouth dry, and her throat raw. She couldn’t speak, it seemed she didn’t know how. All she could focus on was Calum’s warm, bare chest against her cheek, his hands running up and down her back, and the sounds of sirens getting closer and closer.
“Come on,” Calum helped her weak body to her feet and wrapped his arm around her waist. Her legs were wobbly and her left ankle had a deep, bleeding cut, so Calum tried to be as gentle as possible, “Let’s get you checked out, yeah?”
She sat on the edge of the ambulance, shivering, teeth chattering, and her usually pretty pink lips turning blue. The medic asked a series of questions and Joey simply shook her head yes or no, not being able to find her voice just yet, too in shock from everything that had just happened.
“We’re going to take you to the hospital to get you checked out for a concussion and to stitch up your leg, miss. Is that okay?”
“Um, y-yeah.” Joey nodded her head, finally opening her mouth to talk, taking a deep breath from the oxygen mask that was covering her mouth and nose before removing it from her face. “That’s fine.”
“Do you have an emergency contact?” Joey shook her head no. “Is there anyone you want me to call?”
Ashton and Elise were out of town for the week for their anniversary and really, Joey couldn’t think of anyone else to call. Her mind was completely blank. It felt like it was full of sand and saltwater. “I’ll follow you there, yeah?”
Her gaze snapped up from her shaky hands to Calum, who was draping a light flannel over her half naked body, subsiding her shaking just a tiny bit. Joey almost forgot that Calum was even there, but how could she? He had just saved her life.
“O-okay.” Joey rasped and Calum left a quick kiss on her forehead before the medics shut the doors behind them and took off to the hospital.
Calum looked over his shoulder, seeing Colton, the guy who so carelessly knocked over and nearly killed Joey, laughing with his friends in the water, acting as if he didn’t almost just take a girl's life. Calum debated on paddling back out in the water to confront him about it, which would no doubt lead to a fight of some sort, but he figured that Joey and her wellbeing was more important, and he would leave talking to Colton for a different day.
***
Joey hated hospitals. The last time she was in one she lost her father and she hadn’t been back to one since - a whole four years. She avoided them at all costs, but with a huge gash on her leg and a possible concussion, she knew she had to go with the medics. She would have rather driven there with Calum, but the medics told her that going with them was the best and most safe option, so she didn’t argue. She didn’t have the energy to argue.
“Hey,” Calum’a voice was quiet, knowing that Joey’s head was in pain and she still hadn’t fully recovered from the scary accident. Calum rubbed her bare thigh comfortingly, although he wasn’t sure how comforting it was, and lightly squeezed it. “You okay?”
“I think so,” Joey smiled tiredly. She was exhausted and her whole entire body felt heavy and weak, apparently almost dying takes a lot out of you. She played with the much longer sleeves of Calum’s flannel she still had on, opting to not wear the ugly hospital gown and sighed tiredly. “Thanks for saving my life.”
Calum couldn’t help but laugh as he scuffed his shoes against the linoleum floor. A small, careless shrug pulled at his shoulders. “Course.”
“Ma’am?” Joey and Calum both looked to their to see the doctor approaching them with a clipboard consisting of medical instructions to follow and her discharge papers. “You’re good to go now, but I recommend having someone stay with you for the first night just to make sure you’re okay and monitored. Is there anyone you can call to stay with you? Do you live alone?”
“I, uh, I-I live with my cousin but she’s out of town until Monday night.” Joey cleared her scratchy throat. “And I-I don’t know who else-“
“I can,” Calum interrupted. He figured he was going to have to drive her home anyway, and he definitely didn’t want her to be alone after what happened, and he had no other plans for his day, so he wanted to help as much as he could. “I mean, if that’s okay with you.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to inconvenience you, Calum.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Calum chuckled incredulously. If this had happened a month ago, Calum wouldn’t hesitate to just drop her off and leave her to fend for herself, but Calum, even though he didn’t want to admit it, cared about Joey. “You almost just died, Joe, I want to help you. It’s the least I can do.”
“You just saved my life, Calum. You’ve helped enough.”
“You’re not gonna win this argument, love.” Calum smiled sweetly at her. “Sign the papers so we can get you home, yeah?” The unexpected pet name had Joey’s very pale cheeks heating up and Calum mentally shaking his head at himself. Love? Where the hell did that come from?
Joey nodded her head and scribbled her signature on the papers before handing them back to the doctor and hopped down from the hospital bed. They offered her a wheelchair to take out to the car, but Calum waved them off and patted his back for Joey to jump onto, which she did so easily.
The drive was silent, until Joey nervously spoke up as she applied chapstick to her now pink, no longer blue, but chapped lips. “Can we, uh, can we not tell Elise about this yet?”
“What? You don’t want to tell her?”
“Just - just not today, okay? It’s her and Ashton’s anniversary and I don’t wanna ruin it, you know? I’ll call her and tell her tomorrow.”
“Alright, yeah.” Calum nodded in agreement. “We’ll wait.”
Joey sighed in relief and smiled in Calum’s direction, the car falling silent one more until they arrived at Joey’s house. She walked in easily, not needing Calum’s help any longer, but he kept his hand on her lower back just in case.
“I’m gonna go shower and wash the salt water, near death, and hospital off of me.” Joey said, making her way to her room to shower. She was exhausted and all she wanted to do was lay down, but Joey knew that taking a shower would make her feel somewhat better. “Make yourself at home.”
***
“Can I tell you something?” Calum spoke, interrupting the content silence that lingered between them. They had been sitting on the couch in Joey’s living room after she had taken her much needed shower, binge watching Schitt’s Creek on Netflix. Joey and Calum were on either side of the couch, Joey with her back against the arm and her feet resting on Calum’s lap across the couch.
“Mhmm.” Joey mumbled tiredly. The medicine she had taken and all the events of the day had taken a major toll on her and her eyelids were feeling way too heavy.
“I was so scared I was gonna lose you today.” Joey’s eyes slowly went from the TV to Calum, who avoided eye contact with her, only looking at his hands that were resting on her ankles, his fingers lightly tapping them. “I-I really thought you were gonna die on me.” Calum chuckled sadly.
“Well, I’m glad you don’t hate me enough to let me die.” Joey grinned at him lazily and he finally met her eyes. They both had small blushes on their cheeks, admitting it was hard for Calum, and it was even weirder for Joey to hear.
“I don’t hate you.” Calum furrowed his eyebrows.
Joey scoffed, rolling her eyes at him. “Right. I’m sure.”
“I don’t!” Calum exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. He hated that Joey thought he hated her. “I’m serious, I don’t hate you. I’m warming up to you more and more everyday.”
“You really have an ass backwards way of showing it, Calum.” Joey joked, but there was a sad smile on her face that Calum didn’t miss.
He knew he was a dick to her when they first met, and for a while after that, and he knew that she didn’t deserve it. Hell, she had done nothing wrong, he had no reason to treat her like such shit. It was hard for him to admit it to himself, but he found himself liking her the more he was around her.
“C’mere,” Calum patted the cushion next to him and Joey slowly crawled over to him, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her chin atop them. The longer he looked at her the bigger his smile was. Before he could stop himself, he found himself, after thinking it for so long, blurting out and telling her, “You’re gorgeous.”
Licking her lips, Joey pulled them between her teeth to hide her smile. “So are you.” Joey wasn’t embarrassed to admit it.
“Oh, yeah?” Calum’s eyes lit up.
Joey rolled her eyes and shoved his shoulder lightly, her body leaning into his closer than she intended to, but neither of them minded. “Don’t act like you don’t know you’re attractive, Calum.”
Their lips were close, so fucking close, and Calum couldn’t take it any longer. He was consumed by her. “‘M gonna kiss you now.”
Joey couldn’t help but smile. “Okay.”
And that’s all it took for Calum to smash his lips against hers, gripping her hips and pulling her onto his lap. Without warning, Calum stood up, making an unexpected squeal leave Joey’s lips and he blindly walked them to her bedroom. His lips found her jaw and neck and Joey moaned quietly and Calum swore it was his new favorite sound, but he wanted to hear them louder.
Their clothes were off in a split second, leaving Joey laying on her bed in just her cheeky panties and Calum in his tight boxers. He leaned up from her lips, biting down on his lower one hard at the sight of her almost completely bare for him.
“So fuckin’ pretty.” Calum’s fingers ghosted over Joey’s skin, goosebumps covering her skin and he smirked, he already loved the way she reacted to his touch. His hands found the band of her panties, tugging them down without a second thought and threw them behind him carelessly. “Fuck,” Calum ran his fingers up and down her heat. “So wet for me.”
“Calum,” Joey whined, bucking her hips into his touch. “Do something.”
She was breathless, chest heaving and sweat already coating her skin, and Calum knew he couldn’t tease her, couldn’t deny her, so he dove right in, connecting his lips to her clit, sucking and licking, moaning against her.
Joey’s fingers tangled in his curly hair, pulling and tugging, moaning loudly as she threw her head back into her pillows. It had been long, way too long, since she had been sexually intimate with anyone, so she was embarrassed when she was coming undone against Calum’s mouth so quickly as his fingers worked inside of her.
“Need t’feel you.” Calum mumbled against her lips as he worked on taking his boxers off. He hadn’t thought about a condom, that was honestly the last thing on his mind, and he prayed that Joey, or Elise, had them somewhere in their house. “Condom.”
Joey shook her head, their lips parting for just a second as she panted. “Birth control.”
Calum swore she was going to be the death of him.
***
“I can’t believe you didn’t call me!” Elise said, frustratingly running her hands down her face. She and Joey were in the kitchen, sitting at the island, discussing Joey’s accident and Joey felt like a child getting reprimanded by her mother.
“I’m sorry, El! I just didn’t want you to- wait,” Joey narrowed her eyes at Elise, noticing the new, huge, diamond ring that adorned her ring finger. “What,” Joey took Elise’s hand in hers. “The hell is that?”
“Oh, uh,” Elise laughed nervously and took her hand back, twisting the ring around her finger, smiling at the memory of Ashton getting down on one knee just three nights prior and asking her to marry him. It didn’t feel real. “Ash - he proposed.”
“What?” Joey exclaimed happily, the smile taking over her face, completing forgetting about their small argument about Joey not telling Elise about her near death experience. Joey jumped on her cousin, giving her a bone crushing hug filled with happiness. “How could you not tell me this?!”
“It was supposed to be a surprise,” Elise shrugged, acting nonchalant, but inside she felt like her body was going to erupt from butterflies and happiness. It had been five years since they met and she knew they would end up getting married, but she didn’t expect it so soon. “We’re having dinner tomorrow night here and we’re inviting everyone, we wanted to tell everyone at the same time.”
“Ah! This is so exciting!” Joey was unbelievably happy for Elise and Ashton, she knew how in love they were, and she couldn’t wait for them to make their love official.
“Thank you,” Elise giggled, squeezing Joey’s body lightly before releasing her from their long hug. “But we’re still not done talking about your accident. And about you and Calum.” Joey sighed, but knew she was not getting out of either conversation.
***
“What’s this dinner all about?” Michael asked as everyone sat around the long outdoor table on their porch. It was the perfect night out, with it being around eighty degrees with a light breeze, it was the perfect night for a nice, friendly dinner.��
“Maybe they just wanted to do something nice,” Luke shrugged as he sipped his beer. They all were instructed to bring their bathing suits, too, if they wanted to swim after dinner, and almost everyone did, minus Michael’s girlfriend who could only stay for dinner. “We haven’t gotten together in a while. I think it’s nice.”
“Okay, guys!” Elise clapped her hands together, gaining everybody’s attention, with Ashton by her side with his arm draped around her shoulders. She had her hand hidden behind her so nobody would notice the sparkling diamond on her finger. “I know you guys are wondering why we invited you over, and we want to-”
“We’re getting married!” Ashton interrupted her, not wanting to wait any longer. He held up Elise’s hand to show off the impressive ring he had saved up for for so long purchased, and nearly everybody shot up from their seats to gush about it and admire the ring.
“You don’t seem all that surprised,” Calum mumbled into her ear, causing involuntary goosebumps to rise on her skin. Calum wanted to give the couple their space as everybody else crowded them to give them hugs and congratulations.
“I already knew,” Joey shrugged innocently with a small smirk on her face. She wanted to tell Calum, or anybody, she really did, since she was awful at keeping big surprises and news like that a secret, but she knew she couldn’t. Neither Elise or Ashton wanted anybody else to know. “I saw the ring when she got home.”
“Hm,” Calum hummed, pressing his lips to her exposed shoulder, due to her spaghetti strapped dress she had on. Calum couldn’t keep his eyes off of her since he walked inside of her and Elise’s house. The white, silk dress she wore that exposed all of her legs, back, and arms, made her look incredibly sexy. “Love is just in the air tonight, huh?”
“I suppose it is.”
Nobody really knew what was going on with Calum and Joey, they didn’t even really know what was going on with them, all they knew was that they were immensely attracted to each other, and they knew there were some feelings there, but they didn’t know the extent of it, and everybody knew better than to ask.
Their lips met and the kiss was light and quick, but everybody saw it, and the smirk that took over Luke’s face was hard to miss. He knew that something would eventually happen between them, he could just feel it in his bones, but he didn’t want to push anything between them. Luke knew, in due time, that they would realize the attraction and the feelings they had for one another was undeniable.
***
“So,” Luke nudged Joey’s shoulder with his own as they sat next to each other by the side of the pool. Joey didn’t want to get into the pool, so she opted for sitting with her legs dangling in them with Luke next to her, his jeans pushed up to his knees since he didn’t bring anything to swim in. “You and Cal, huh?” Joey just simply shrugged, a smile taking over his face as she sipped her Sangria that she and Elise made through her straw. Luke rolled his eyes, not happy with the lack of words from Joey. “What’s going on with you two?”
“Honestly?” Joey looked at Luke. “I’ve got no clue, Luke.”
“He likes you,” Luke stated simply. “I can tell by the way he looks at you. He hasn’t looked at anyone like that since his first girlfriend broke his heart.”
Joey furrowed her eyebrows, not having a clue about Calum’s past relationships, or past anything, really. She was interested, of course she was, but she wasn’t going to pry and she wasn’t going to force Luke to tell her. If Calum wanted her to know, he would tell her, simple as that.
Calum swam up to them, shaking his wet hair in their direction, splashing little bits of water over Joey and Luke. His hands found her calves under the water and gave them a light squeeze. “Watcha two talkin’ about?”
“Just how sexy you look swimming,” Luke winked at him, causing Joey to giggle into her drink and shake her head at the two best friends. Calum rolled his eyes, but ignored Luke, turning his attention to Joey.
“You gettin’ in?” Joey shook her head no, not quite in the mood to get her freshly washed hair and perfectly done makeup messed up. And she didn’t feel like walking all the way up to her bedroom to change into a bathing suit. “Hm,” Calum hummed, pressing his lips to her thigh. “Think I’m gonna change that.”
“What do you-”
Joey squealed as Calum gripped her hips and pulled her from the side of the pool, fully into the pool with him. Her dress rode up above her hips, exposing the fact that she was wearing no underwear, thankful that it was dark and the water was covering them. “Calum, what the hell!” Joey wrapped her legs around his waist.
“You’re not wearin’ any underwear, are you?” He could feel the skin on skin and felt himself hardening at the thought of Joey being completely bare under her dress. She never failed to surprise him.
“Why don’t you find out?” Joey tilted her head challengingly and Calum bit his lip, sexually and in frustration at how easily Joey turned him on. It was driving him insane. Ever since the night they had mind-blowing sex, all Calum could think about was Joey.
“Hm, I think I just might.” In a matter of seconds, Calum had them out of the pool, he still holding Joey and her legs still wrapped around Calum’s waist, thankful that her ass wasn’t exposed to all of her friends that were in her backyard. “See you guys later!” Calum shouted to his friends, ignoring the hoops and hollers they received.
Neither Joey nor Calum cared that their friends knew exactly what they were going upstairs to do.
***
“Why couldn’t you have asked Elise to come with you?” Calum complained to Joey as the two of them looked through dresses in a higher end boutique shop in the middle of town.
They were, or Joey was, shopping for a dress for Elise and Ashton’s engagement party that was coming up in just a little over a week. It had been a month since Ashton and Elise announced their engagement and it’s been crazy ever since.
“She’s too busy planning the party.” Joey hummed as she sifted through the dresses, not finding any she liked, and if she did like them, they didn’t have her size or were way overpriced. She was almost close to giving up.
“How ‘bout this one?” Calum picked a random one off the rack, holding it up by the hanger to show Joey.
It was a pink, mid thigh, flowing, backless dress with a halter top that tied behind the neck. Joey’s eyes lit up at the dress that she had failed to see and took it from Calum’s hand. It was her size, surprisingly, and it wasn’t too costly.
“I love it.” Joey grinned at him.
“Well, go try it on!” Calum turned her around by her shoulders and ushered her to the fitting rooms where she happily stripped down and tried to the dress on.
She came out shortly after, holding the top to her chest, spinning around, asking Calum, “Tie me up?”
“Gladly,” Calum smirked, thinking of all the other ways he could tie her up, as he moved her hair to one side of her neck and carefully and securely tied it. Spinning around, Joey looked at Calum expectantly, who was looking at her with wide eyes and a goofy smile on his face. “Gorgeous.”
“Yeah?” Joey blushed.
“Always,” Calum held his hand out for her to take and raised it above both of their heads. “Spin for me.” Joey did so happily, a quiet giggle leaving her lips as Calum twirled her around a few times before pulling her into his chest. “It’s a winner.” He mumbled against their connected lips.
“You sure? Because I can always try-“
Their cute moment was interrupted by a familiar voice that Calum hoped he wouldn’t ever have to hear again. “Calum?” They pulled apart just a tiny bit, with Joey’s hands still around his neck and Calum’s around her waist.
Stood before them was the devil herself, also known as Calum’s first and only, ex-girlfriend. His grip tightened on Joey’s hips, only slightly, but she felt it. “Ava, hey.” He was unhappy and uncomfortable, Joey could tell instantly.
“Uh, how are you?”
Calum had to repress his scoff. “Fine. You?”
“Good, good.” She nodded her head and looked between the couple in front of her. Calum’s arm was now slung over Joey’s shoulders and her arms were awkwardly crossed against her chest. She could feel the girl judging her. “Who’s this?”
“My girlfriend - Joey.”
Joey’s head snapped up to look at Calum in surprise. It was the first time he had ever called her his girlfriend before, so she was extremely caught off guard, but not disappointed. She had been waiting to hear those words leave his lips for weeks now. She couldn’t hide the smile on her face. “Hi,” she waved awkwardly.
“Joe, this is Ava, my ex.”
Joey had heard only one thing about Calum’s ex-girlfriend, and that was from Luke, and she didn’t push Calum to tell her, and she didn’t mind the thought of him having an ex-girlfriend, she had ex-boyfriend’s herself. But standing in front of her, a gorgeous model looking girl, Joey was feeling just a little bit insecure.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Joey said sweetly, even though it wasn’t nice, not in the slightest.
“Likewise,” Ava’s smile was fake and Calum could tell, but he wasn’t going to start something pointless by mentioning it. “So, what are you two out shopping for?”
Seriously? Calum wanted to scream. She really couldn’t have just left it at that? She had to try and spark up a pointless and meaningless conversation? Calum wanted to run away the moment he saw her.
“Ash and Elise are getting married. Shopping for engagement party dresses for Joey.”
“Oh?” Ava’s eyes widened in surprise at the news of her old friends getting engaged, and soon married. “You know Elise and Ashton?” She turned her attention to Joey.
“Elise is my cousin,” Joey nodded her head, and told her condescendingly, “So, yeah, I know them.”
Calum bit back his laugh and smiled at Joey’s attitude, but silently applauded her for it. He knew she didn’t want to be standing there talking to his ex-girlfriend just as much as he didn’t. “Well,” Joey cleared her throat. “I’m gonna go change back into my clothes and then we can go, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Calum smiled, pressing a quick kiss to her lips as she retreated into the fitting room, leaving Calum and Ava to catch up, or whatever it was that Ava wanted from Calum.
“She’s pretty.” Ava nodded her head in Joey’s direction.
“She is, innit she?” Calum smiled. “And nice. And honest. A lot of things you weren’t.”
“Calum,” Ava shook her head sadly. “I’m sorry. For everything.”
He pursed his lips, clearly not believing any of the words that came out of her mouth. Ever since she broke his heart, he hadn’t believed anything. “Sure you are.”
The curtain swung open and Joey stepped out, dressed in her normal street wear, her purse hanging on her shoulder, and the hanger dangling on her finger. “Ready to go?” Joey smiled up at Calum.
“Here,” Calum fished his credit card out of his wallet and handed it to Joey. “You go pay. I’ll catch up.”
“What? Cal, no.” Joey shook her head, not accepting the card that Calum was holding out for her. The dress wasn’t too expensive, really, just a little over fifty dollars and she could afford it. She appreciated Calum’s offer, but didn’t want to take it. “You’re not paying for this.”
Rolling his eyes, Calum easily shoved his card into the front pocket of Joey’s jean shorts, looped his fingers through her belt loops, and pecked her lips. “Don’t argue, baby. I’m payin’.” Joey rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless and made her way to the counter. Calum’s eyes followed his non-official-official girlfriend as she made her way to the cash register and smiled, but it turned into a scowl when he remembered Ava was standing in front of him, watching him watch Joey. “You have anything else to say before I walk away from you? For the last time?”
Ava shook her head sadly. “You look really happy, Calum.”
“I am.” Calum didn’t hesitate to confirm.
“Well, I’m glad.” Ava rested a hand on his shoulder, making Calum almost flinch. Joey saw out of the corner of her eye and even though she could tell that Calum was uncomfortable, she felt uneasy, jealous. She hated it. “Give Elise and Ashton my love.”
“Yeah,” Calum exhaled a humorless laugh. As if. “I won’t be doing that.”
With that, Calum walked away from his ex-girlfriend who broke his heart, and over to his new girlfriend, who mended it back together.
***
“So, ex-girlfriend, eh?” Joey finally brought up the dreaded conversation. She spun around in the small stool behind the front desk at Surf and Co., working the slow night shift that Ashton scheduled her with Calum keeping her company.
“Canada, eh?” Calum smiled innocently, receiving an unamused look from Joey, who had finally stopped spinning. It had been five hours since they ran into Ava at the store and Joey was itching to say something and Calum knew it. “Right, sorry.” Calum knew they had to discuss it. “Yeah, Ava, ex-girlfriend.”
“What, uh, what happened?” Calum sighed heavily, twisting the rings on his fingers nervously, trying to figure out a way to start the story he was dreading on telling. “Luke mentioned something about her-”
“Luke told you?” Calum’s head snapped up.
“N-no! He just mentioned an ex-girlfriend that hurt you, but that’s all.” Joey assured him. She didn’t want Calum to be mad at Luke for mentioning anything to her about it, she just thought it might make things easier. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, Cal.”
“No, no. I should. You deserve to know.” Calum rounded the register, leaning against the counter next to Joey, spinning her around so she was facing him now. He smiled down at her, just the sight of her pretty face making his light up. “She was new in town a few years ago and I kind of, like took her in, much like you and Luke. But, instead of becoming just friends like the two of you, we-”
“Fell in love?” Joey mumbled.
“Yeah.” Calum scoffed. “I introduced her to everyone; all my friends, Elise, everyone. And she and one of my friends, Peter, hit it off well. A little too well. But I was happy about it, you know? Thought they were just friends. Until I found them in bed together. My bed.”
“Calum-”
“Instead of growing a pair of balls and breaking up with me, she took the cowards way out and cheated on me, so I broke up with her.” Calum frowned at the memory, but it didn’t make him as sad as it once did. He was completely over it, but the memory still stung. “She broke my heart.” He laughed sadly.
“I’m sorry, Cal.” Taking his hands in hers, Joey gave them a reassuring squeeze, and bent down to kiss them. “Is that why you didn’t like me at first?” Joey hesitantly asked. “Because I was another new girl in town?”
Calum hadn’t ever even thought that could be a reason he disliked her so much, but thinking about it now, it all made sense. He didn’t want another new girl to come into his town and his life and turn it upside again just like Ava did. But he knew, with everything in his heart, that Joey would never do anything like that to him.
***
The annoying, incessant, vibrating of Calum’s phone had Joey putting her curling iron down and crossing his room to silence it. “Cal,” Joey shouted his hearing, receiving a mumbled ‘yeah’, from his bedroom. “Your phone is blowing up.”
“Who is it?”
“Uh,” Joey furrowed her eyebrows. “Number Isn't saved, but it says, ‘it was so nice to see you last night, Calum. I’m sorry about the kiss.’” Joey’s confusion could be heard through her tone of voice as she continued to read the text. “Kiss? What the hell, Calum?”
“Shit,” Calum cursed, hopping on one foot as he tried to put his dress shoe on the other. They were getting ready for the engagement party and Calum couldn’t have picked a worse time for Joey to find out what happened the night before. “I was going to-”
“Who the fuck is this?”
“Uh,” Calum nervously scratched his growing stubble. “It’s- it’s Ava.”
Spinning around, Joey held Calum’s phone in her hands with raised eyebrows and wide eyes. She could not believe what she was hearing. And she couldn’t believe how fucking casual Calum was acting about it. “I’m sorry, what? When were you with Ava? I thought you were with the guys last night.”
“I-I was, I swear I was!” Calum approached her, resting his hands on her shoulders to give them a reassuring squeeze, but Joey wasn’t reassured, not at all. “I bumped into her at the bar and she wanted to buy me a drink as an I’m sorry sort of thing, I guess? So then I bought her one to make it even and we talked for a few minutes and-and then she kissed me.”
Inhaling a deep breath, Joey took a step back from Calum, watching as his arms fell to his sides, and licked her teeth angrily. She was going to try to keep her cool and not explode, since it was Ava who kissed Calum, and not the other way around, but still, seriously? This couldn’t have happened on a worse day.
“Were you planning on telling me this?”
“Yes! Course I was, Joey.” Calum ran a hand through his perfectly done hair that Joey worked so hard on, fucking it up in the process, and nervously licked his lips. He didn’t want her to think he was a liar. “I just wanted to wait until after the party. I didn’t want to ruin tonight for you. For us.”
“Well, you should have thought that plan through,” Joey laughed sadly, shoving Calum’s phone in his hands as she picked her small clutch up from his bedside table. “I’m gonna go. I’ll see you at the party.”
Calum let her leave without another word, knowing that fighting her or trying to make her stay would just make matters worse, and although this wasn’t how the night was supposed to start, although they were supposed to arrive to the party together, Calum knew that wasn’t going to happen.
***
“Now, a speech from the maid of honor!” Elise spoke happily into the mic, prompting Joey to stand up on wobbly legs and smile as she took the microphone from her cousin. She looked beautiful, but she always did, Joey thought.
Calum watched his girlfriend with a small smile on his face as Joey nervously licked her lips and cleared her throat before giving her speech that she had barely prepared beforehand. “Elise,” Joey smiled down at her cousin. “Ashton,” Joey smiled at her soon to be cousin-in-law. “I’m so happy for the two of you. I never thought that I would be here, living in the prettiest town I could ever dream of living in, with the two of you and the new friends you’ve introduced me to, but I’m so happy to be celebrating this with you guys. I’m gonna keep this short, because if I keep talking I know I’ll start crying,” Joey laughed awkwardly. “But I just want to say I’m so, incredibly, happy for you two and I hope to, one day, find love like yours.” Joey sniffled quietly. “I love you, both.”
Joey finished her speech with a cheers and everyone held their glasses up, cheering along, and gulped down their drinks. Joey sat back down in her seat that was next to Calum, and felt his hand on her thigh, and as much as she wanted to shake it off, she couldn’t find it in herself to. She was still mad at him, but he looked so handsome, she couldn’t stand it.
“Can we dance, please?” Calum’s voice was full of desperation and when Joey finally looked at him, his beautiful brown, puppy dog eyes and pouty lips, her resolve crumbled. “Please, baby?” Calum whispered.
Joey stood up abruptly, looking down at Calum expectantly. “Well? Are you coming?”
Calum wasted no time standing up and following Joey to the makeshift dance floor that wasn’t there when they first arrived, but Michael and Crystal transformed it into one. A slow song started playing and they swayed back and forth silently, but Calum’s hands on her waist were practically burning her skin.
“I’m sorry, Joey.” Calum mumbled. He didn’t want to ruin the moment, but he wasn’t sure if he would get her one on one the rest of the night. He needed to explain how sorry he was. He knew what it felt like to be lied to and he never wanted Joey to feel that way. “I-I didn’t wanna lie to you, but I didn’t know how to tell you what happened.”
“Up front would have been nice.”
“I know, Joey. But I just didn’t know how to-”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Joey interrupted Calum, scoffing out a humorless laugh at the person who just walked into the venue where the party was being held. There stood Ava, in all her pretty glory, looking way better than Joey did. “Your girlfriend is here.”
With that, Joey spun on her heeled shoes and stormed through the crowd to where the private bathrooms were. She gripped the sides of the sink until her knuckles turned white. The tears that pricked Joey’s eyes were unwarranted and she wanted to kick herself for letting this bother her so much.
The soft knock at the door a few minutes later had no effect on Joey. She kept her stance, kept her hands on the sink, and kept the tears falling out of her stinging eyes. “Joey?” Calum’s voice was heard through the door. “I know you’re in there.”
Joey failed to lock the door behind her, so Calum let himself in, hoping that it actually was Joey in the bathroom and not somebody else. He was relieved when he saw that it indeed was her, but his worry came back tenfold when he saw her glossy and red eyes through the bathroom mirror.
“How’s your girlfriend?” Joey stood straight and spun around to lean against the sink, crossing her arms across her chest, tilting her head to the side. She was trying to use her sarcasm and sass to cover the fact that she was upset, even though she knew she was being immature. It was her defense mechanism.
“She’s right in front of me,” Calum took cautious steps towards her and rested his hands on her hips. He frowned down at her sad face and wanted to put a smile on it. She was too pretty to frown, Calum thought. “And she’s obviously upset with me.”
“You’re right,” Joey nodded her head in confirmation. “She is.”
“I told her to fuck off.”
“Why the hell was she here in the first place, Calum?”
“It doesn’t matter why, Joe. She’s gone. She’s out of the picture, for good, I promise.” Calum’s hands ran up her hips to her sides, cupping her face to tilt it up so he could meet her eyes. They were less red and less glossy now, which he was thankful for. “And even if she keeps comin’ around,” Joey raised her eyebrows, unimpressed. “Which she won’t. I’ve only got eyes for you. Only want you.”
“I just-” Joey shook her head sadly. “I hate feeling like I have to compete with her, Calum. She’s-she’s so pretty and you loved her and-”
“Alright, no.” Calum shut her up before she could finish. “I’m gonna stop you right there. She doesn’t even compare to you, Joe. You’re gorgeous and beautiful and she doesn’t even compare to you, okay?”
“Okay,” Joey mumbled, but Calum could hear the underlying uncertainty and the insecurity laced in her voice.
“I’ll show you just how much.”
A squeal left Joey’s mouth as Calum hoisted her up onto the sink, parting her legs so he could stand between them and attached his lips to hers in a heated kiss. Their hands blindly worked on each other - Joey undoing Calum’s pants and shoving them down his legs and Calum’s pushing Joey’s thin and lace panties to the side. She was already wet, which wasn’t unexpected, and Calum was already semi-hard, so there wasn’t much more to take care of before Calum was slipping his length inside of Joey.
“Oh, fuck.” Joey moaned against Calum’s lips as he rocked in and out of her. They tried to be as quiet as they could, considering there were people not even twenty feet away from them, but it was nearly impossible with how good they were making each other feel.
They swallowed each others moans, panting and groaning into each other’s mouths and skin and Calum worked relentlessly until he felt Joey clench around him, prompting both his and her orgasm. Their moans and breaths were in sync as they came down from their highs and caught their breaths.
“That prove to you just how much I want you?” Calum mumbled against Joey’s bare shoulder due to the halter top of her dress and she laughed, with only little humor in it.
Pushing Calum away from her, Joey adjusted her thong and jumped down from the sink. “You’re gonna have to work a lot harder than that, Hood.” With one pat to the chest, Joey rounded him and left him lonely in the bathroom with his pants around his ankles.
Calum stood there stunned with an unbelieving chuckle leaving his mouth. Joey left him speechless, more than once, but he was going to do whatever he could, work as hard as he could to prove to her that she was the only one for him.
***
“I can’t believe you’re moving out,” Joey pouted as she helped Elise pack the last of her stuff. She knew that with Elise and Ashton being engaged now that she would be moving out, but Joey wasn’t ready to live by herself, she never had before. “I’m gonna be so lonely.”
“Please,” Elise scoffed at her cousin’s dramatics. “I’ll be less than fifteen minutes away,” Elise reminded her, but it didn’t ease her sadness. Joey had never lived alone before. She always lived with her mother or a friend or boyfriend, never by herself. “And you can always call Calum and he’ll come over in a second.”
“Yeah.” Joey mumbled, unsurely as she taped the last box shut and rested her arms on it. The thought of Calum made her feel uneasy, considering they hadn’t really seen much of each other since the engagement party. They would hang out with friends as a group, but hadn’t one on one. “I think he’s mad at me.” Joey furrowed her eyebrows.
“Why would he be mad at you? He’s the one who kissed his ex-girlfriend.”
“She kissed him,” Joey reminded Elise. “But he’s just been avoiding me I think,” Joey frowned. “Like, he hasn’t wanted to hang out just us two, you know? And he’s barely been responding to my texts. I know he’s busy with surf lessons and has been with the guys, I just-” she shook her head, confusion written all over her face. “I think ever since seeing Ava, he’s changed his mind and he doesn’t actually want to be with me.”
“You’re being paranoid. Calum is crazy about you,” Elise assured her with a light squeeze to her hand. Elise knew Calum and she knew that he felt more for Joey than he ever did for Ava. It was obvious. “Just talk to him, yeah?”
***
The emptiness and the quiet of the house made Joey a bit uneasy. Sure, she had spent the night multiple times in her house by herself, but knowing that Elise was gone and not living with her anymore made it feel different and she didn’t enjoy it.
Joey: Can you come over?
Joey sent the text to Calum after much debate, almost asking Luke to come over and keep her company over her own boyfriend. She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous to ask Calum to come over.
Calum: Course, love. Everything okay?
Joey: Just lonely
Calum read the text and didn’t bother changing out of his sweatpants and sweatshirt, just slipping a pair of shoes on and grabbing his car keys. He could have easily walked the ten minutes, but he was feeling lazy and wanted to get to Joey as quickly as he could. He didn’t want her to feel lonely, especially since she had him.
Joey had told Calum that the front door was unlocked, so he let himself in without bothering to knock or ring the doorbell, and his heart swelled at the sight of Joey curled up on the couch, tucked under a blanket in his hoodie, looking as cute as cozy as ever.
“Hey, Joe.” Calum’s voice was quiet, not wanting to disturb her little bubble of peace, but when she heard his voice, her tired looking face lit up and she was holding her arms out to him, making grabby hands as she continued to lay down. He laughed at how childish, but cute, she looked and collapsed on top of her lightly.
Joey’s arms wrapped around his neck and his slid under her back to squeeze her close to him. He wasn’t sure what was wrong, why she seemed upset and off, and he wasn’t going to push her to tell him, but he was still going to ask.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
Sighing heavily, Joey ran her fingers through Calum’s messy curls and debated on telling him. It was stupid, childish, she thought. “It’s stupid.”
“Doesn’t sound stupid,” Calum lifted his head up from where it was hiding in the crook of Joey’s neck and placed a light kiss on her lips. “If something is upsetting you, no matter how small, ‘s not stupid.”
“I just,” Joey pushed herself up on her elbows so she was leaning against the arm of her couch and Calum rested himself above her on his elbows, his chin just barely resting on her stomach as he looked up at her. “I feel like ever since you saw Ava, and since she kissed you, you-you haven’t wanted to be with me as much.”
Joey avoided all eye contact with Calum as she picked her nail polish nervously. She didn’t want to see Calum’s reaction to her embarrassing confession and really didn’t want him to see the insecurity on her face, so she missed the deep frown that was on his. He hated that she felt that way.
“Baby,” Calum mumbled sadly and took her hands in his so she would stop picking at her nails, knowing it was her nervous habit, and kissed the tops of her hands lightly. “I don’t want you thinkin’ that.”
Sitting up completely, Calum pulled Joey onto his lap and grunted as he adjusted the two of them more comfortably. Her head was held in Calum’s hands, with him tucking her hair behind her ears and watching her watch him.
“Seeing Ava just brought back bad memories, you know? And I just - the feeling of her hurting me so badly came back full force and I didn’t - I don’t ever want to feel that way again,” Calum shook his head. “I don’t want to get my heartbroken by somebody I love again.”
“Calum, I-” Joey spoke up before she processed all of his words, stopping short, and leaning back just slightly with wide eyes. “Wait,” Joey reached up to grip Calum’s wrist. “Somebody you love?”
“Shit, I-” Calum ran a nervous hand through his hair. “I-I didn’t mean,” Calum stumbled over his words and Joey patiently waited for him to finish. She wanted to hear what he was trying to say. “I didn’t want to tell you like that.”
Joey’s voice was barely over a whisper, but she couldn’t help the smile that covered her face. “You love me?”
Calum loved that she was smiling. He was a nervous fucking wreck, honestly. He wasn’t sure if he loved her loved her, but he knew he liked her a whole fucking lot, and he could definitely see himself loving her. “I think so, yeah.” Calum finally smiled. “How’s that make you feel?”
“Makes me feel pretty damn special.”
***
“You comin’?” Calum asked Joey as he finished waxing his board, preparing it for the water. Elise, Ashton, and Luke were all already in the water waiting for Calum and Joey to join them.
“Um,” Joey looked out at the big waves that were forming and felt nerves prick her. She hadn’t been on a surfboard since the day she nearly died. She had been in the ocean and the pool, but was too afraid to get on a board. “I’m gonna sit this one out. I’m tired.”
Calum could sense her nervousness and frowned as he bent down again to be face to face and level with her. Everyone else was already in the water, meaning if he was to join them, Joey would be let on the sand by herself, since Michael told Ashton he would pick up a shift at Surf and Co, and Calum didn’t want to leave his girlfriend on the beach by herself.
“You sure, Joe?” Calum moved her baby hairs that didn’t fit in her bun out of her face and smiled at how pretty her eyes looked with the sun shining down. “You just tired or are you scared to get in again?”
“Calum, I-” Joey licked her lips and shook her head in embarrassment. She didn’t want to admit that she was, indeed, terrified to get back on a board after what happened. It had been nearly a month since it happened, but she could still feel an anxious pit in the bottom of her stomach at the thought of standing on a board again. “It’s kind of embarrassing, but yeah,” Joey nodded her head in confirmation. “I’m terrified.”
“Baby, no,” Calum rested himself on his knees in between her legs and ducked his head down to make eyes with her. “It’s not embarrassing. You almost died, Joe, that’s some scary shit. I would be scared if I were you, too.” Calum placed a reassuring kiss to her lips and felt her smile against his. “I’ll sit here with you so you’re not alone, yeah?”
“No, no. Go out with them.” Joey shooed him away and he grinned, kissing her one last time, before standing up and picking up his board to race into the water with the rest of the group.
Honestly, Joey didn’t mind sitting on the sand by herself. She enjoyed watching her cousin and their friends surf and do their thing, she almost preferred to sit and watch over actually surfing, since she wasn’t the best at it, and she was convinced she would be scarred for life ever since she almost died. But she was content.
She was knocked out of her daydream when a volleyball rolled onto her towel and hit her foot lightly. She looked around, seeing a volleyball net nearly twenty feet away from her, and a guy jogging over to her. She picked it up and held it out for the guy to take, not bothering to stand up.
“Sorry ‘bout that,” he panted and crouched down, bending his knees to retrieve the ball from Joey’s hands. She just smiled and simply shook her head, not bothering with a conversation with the guy. “You new around here? I don’t recognize you.”
“Uh, yeah, kind of.” Joey furrowed her eyebrows. “I’ve lived here for a few months.”
“I’m surprised I haven’t noticed you before,” he looked her up and down, even though she was sitting down and leaning against a cooler, and shamelessly checked her out, not even trying to be discrete. “A gorgeous girl like you shouldn’t go unnoticed by anyone.”
Joey rolled her lips into her mouth, trying to suppress her laugh at the shitty attempt as a pick-up line. “Well, thank you.”
“Anytime,” he winked at her and she nearly groaned out loud. She saw the guys and Elise approaching them from the water and hoped that Calum, or any of them, would nicely tell him to get lost. “I never got your name.”
“That’s because she didn’t give it to you, Colton.” Calum grunted as he shoved his board into the sand next to the guy, Colton, that was shamelessly hitting on Joey. He stood up to his full height, still a few inches shorter than Calum, and dropped the volleyball on the sand next to his feet. “What are you doing bothering her?”
“I’m just having a conversation with her, Hood.” Colton shrugged and smirked at him cockily. Colton looked down at Joey, who was only paying attention to Calum and how angry, but sexy, he looked. “Seemed like she was enjoying it.”
“Seems like she wasn’t,” Calum took another step closer. “So, leave my girlfriend alone and fuck off.” Another step. Joey could tell that the guys behind him would pounce and back him up if a fight ensued. “And while you’re at it, apologize to her for almost killing her.”
Colton scoffed. “Fuck are you talking about?”
“The girl you knocked off her board last month when you were being a cocky asshole and surfed up on her wave?” Calum tilted his head to the side, watching it click in Colton’s brain that Joey was the girl he nearly killed. “Yeah, that girl? My girlfriend. So I suggest you apologize or walk the fuck away, Colton.”
Colton bent down and picked the volleyball up, not bothering to look at Joey or apologize to her before he stalked away, leaving Calum staring at him with his hands clenched into fists. Joey knew the only way he would calm down is if she told him to.
Standing up, Joey pulled her bikini bottom out of her butt to rid herself of her wedgie from sitting down for so long, and stood in front of Calum, running her hands up his stomach to rest on his shoulders, and his eyes instantly went from Colton down to Joey.
“You good, Cal?” Calum looked back up to see Colton standing there staring at the couple, and Calum smirked, gripping the back of her thighs to lift her up and wrap her legs around his waist. “Cal!” Joey squealed at the sudden movement and laughed against his mouth as he pressed their lips together.
“I’m fuckin’ great, sugar.” Calum grinned against her lips and spun her around, the loud giggle leaving her lips made his grin widen.
How Joey could turn Calum’s mood from complete and absolute shit and anger from seeming like the happiest person in the world was beyond him. It was crazy, really, but he welcomed it with open arms, and with her in his.
***
“What’s got you so happy?” Luke nudged Calum’s shoulder with his own, holding his near empty beer by the neck as they sat in the semi-crowded bar. The group hadn’t been out to a bar in a while, since before Ashton and Elise announced their engagement, so they were enjoying their night out. “You’re grinnin’ like a damn fool.”
“How could I not be happy when I have a girlfriend that looks like her?” Calum pointed his beer bottle in the direction where Joey and Elise were playing a game of pool, not taking it seriously at all, and laughing and messing around with each other. “Don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.”
“I can tell,” Luke nodded his head with a smile. He was extremely happy for his best friend and as he watched Calum watch Joey lose against Elise in pool, he couldn’t help but shake his head in disbelief, never having seen Calum so happy around somebody before. “You got lucky.”
“Luckiest guy in here,” Calum clinked his bottle against Luke’s and made eyes with Joey, who grinned widely and waved him over across the bar. Forgetting all about his half empty beer and Luke, Calum got up and crossed the bar, wrapping his arms around Joey’s waist from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. “You wanna get outta here?”
“I thought you would never ask,” Joey sighed dramatically, hanging her pool stick up, and the two of them left without bothering saying goodbye to their friends. They walked hand in hand down the street, Calum twirling his tipsy girlfriend as they walked and grinning at her infectious smile. “Let’s go swimming!” Joey skipped backwards down the sand with her heels in her hand and her arms out as she spun around and ran towards the water.
“It’s dark out, baby.” Calum laughed, but toed his shoes off and shed his shirt and pants, watching as Joey did the same thing. “Gonna be weird creatures in there.”
“You scared, Hood?” Joey challenged, reaching behind her to unclasp her bra, leaving her completely naked in front of Calum underneath the moonlight. Calum’s mouth watered at the sight of her and watched her teeth clamp down on her lower lip as he, too, was now naked in front of her.
They swam around, splashing each other and giggling against each others lips, and Calum finally pulled her body into his, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist and her arms around his neck. “I think I just realized something,” Joey hummed against his shoulder.
“What’s that?” Calum squeezed her hips.
There was no nervousness or hesitance in her voice while she spoke, her words were confident and full of sureness when she told Calum, “I love you.” She spoke as if it was the most casual thing, but instead her heart was pounding and she was scared, only for a minute, that Calum wasn’t going to say it back.
“I love you a whole fuckin’ lot, Joey.”
Their smiles were so big, so genuine, that their faces hurt and they knew, right there in that moment, that they couldn’t be any happier even if they tried.
Just as they looked up at the night sky, a shooting star flew by and they didn’t have to wish for anything because they both had what they wanted - each other.
***
Taglist: @singt0mecalum @lockthisheartinchains @babyurart @cheyenne-in-wonderland @youmaycallmemrshemmings @cantbehandled-ever @gosh-im-short @cakesunflower @novacanecalum @cosmocalum @emma070900 @asht0ns-world @blahehblah @inlovehoodx @softboycal @ashtoniwir
#tagged random ppl idk??? sorry#calum hood#luke hemmings#ashton irwin#michael clifford#5sos#5 seconds of summer#currents#surfer!cal#surfer!calum#calum imagines#calum imagine#calum hood imagines#calum hood imagine#calum blurb#calum blurbs#calum hood blurb#calum hood blurbs#calum fic#calum fanfic#calum fanfiction#calum hood fic#calum hood fanfic#calum hood fanfiction#5sos fic#5sos fanfic#5sos fanfiction#5 seconds of summer fic#5 seconds of summer fanfic#5 seconds of summer fanfiction
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#40 from the prompt list please and thank you!!!
I’m so sorry this took so long!!!
Someone You Loved
Rating: Mature for some themes
Pairing: fuckin’ Lukanette boi
Word count: 4,665
Prompt: (40) “I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.”
Description:
Well, Luka sings a song and I pissed @macaknight off with this when I asked her to beta read the start of it. It helps if you listen to the song in the story, Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi. Enjoy lmao
She was around by his side long enough to engrave the little things into his mind.
He knew how it felt to have the soft strands of midnight blues through his fingers as he tangled them in her hair. To have her legs settle on either side of his as he trailed his hand up her small back and waist under her soft cotton shirts. The cheeky grin he grew to love baring up at him when his arms bracketed with her in between he picked her up at home.
How he didn't care for sweets but loved the way blueberry muffins tasted on her tongue and the taste of her mixed with raspberry jelly when it leaked from the corner of her pouty lips.
How the Liberty swayed under his feet against the small currents the wind brought on as they danced in the rain. The feel of his converse bracing both their weights as her drenched skirt blew in harsh waves between them. The first lightning strike reflecting off an anchor necklace he gave her on their first date.
When she kissed his cheek when he started humming absently with frustration as he tried to figure out the melody he wrote. Her small fingers pulling the pencil out of his death grip as she lent her forehead against his to calm him and decipher the jumbled notes he had in his head.
The way her face lit up when he played it back to her.
The way her face fell when she told him she loved him but they couldn't be together.
How her arms stiffly pulled away from his hug and the red of her eyes she showed up with.
How the airy taste of salt from the water didn't compare to the salt of his tears that trailed to his lips as he grounded the palm of his hands to his eyes roughy as sobs racked through his body when he collapsed to the wood of the ship.
The way it left him numb with hurt and he became too compliant with his happenings, too accepting.
Defeated.
Music was harder to hear and enjoy, he couldn't compose anything more than a haunting melody that brought any stranger to tears.
He wasn't sure he even felt the burn to his tongue when he drank his hot coffee as soon as it was handed to him. Or the rough jerk of his shoulder to turn him around as his guitar bounced off his back.
"Hey man, you look worse for wear." Théo, a former classmate of his that now ran the coffee shop, spoke as he eyed him critically. Luka shifted his thick blacks squared rimmed sunglasses up higher to cover his dark circles better. "I'd say it's great to see you, but..."
“Yeah, I’m just tired.” He offered the excuse at the ready, hating how well lying came with sadness.
“Ah, life of a famous rockstar.” Théo teased with a smirk. “No wondering you’re wearing a hat like that backwards to cover your hair and shades for those ‘oh so sexy’ blue eyes of yours.”
“Not famous,” Luka cringed at Théo’s words. “Just well known on the internet I guess.”
“Sorry for overplaying your popular cover videos man.” His old school mate laughed.
"It's fine. What's up?" He forced a smile that came across as genuine despite what he felt.
Théo crossed his arms and made a jerk with his head in the direction of the shop across the street, "New place has been stealing some of our loyal customers." Luka scratched under the brim of his black baseball cap he had on backwards as he followed the movement. "Lunch hour is about to hit and you know much we moved to stop by this part of town for break."
"Yeah, your aunt made good scones." He supplied.
He grunted in response, "Yeah. Well, girls frequent here more from school, and they keep going there," he roughly jerked his chin to the place again, "Just because there's an older guy who takes their order who is attractive, I guess. Or so I'm told."
Luka blinked at the shop before turning to his old friend, "What do you need from me then?"
"Observant as always, Couffaine." He snorted with a shake of his head. "I wanted to see if you -an attractive older guy- would give a small performance just as the girls come."
"What? Why?"
"Are you dense? With your face and body, and that 'sinful voice' of yours the girls cooed about back then and from your YouTube covers, I'm guaranteed to bring in more customers for today."
Luka tossed his half full coffee cup to the trash next to him. His own arms crossing as he wished he was in his cabin instead, laying on his bed while he stared up at the ceiling and trying to not feel the clench of his arm when he smelled Marinette's hibiscus shampoo and berry scented perfume on his pillows.
"I don't know."
His friend clasped onto his shoulder again, "Please man, you can keep 40% of the money you help bring in, I don't care. That shop is a dick and acting like we're not its competition."
“Man, you really don’t have to, I’ll just take a free coffee if you really need this.” Anything seemed better than just wallowing at home at this point, despite the incredible want to do so that swelled within him as he stood on the block he and Ladybug often frequented to patrol. “I mean it.”
Théo smiled, guiding him to a spot that he started clearing out near the cafe’s short fence that caged the outdoor tables and chairs.
“That’s okay, I feel bad to make you work without pay.” He straightened his back that had been bent forwards as he pushed tables, “Consider it repayment for that time you paid for my lunch.”
Luka stopped, “Lunch? When did I-,” he grunted. “Théo, that was four years ago.”
“Well, last Saturday had me thinking about all my debts and regrets when I thought I was gonna die. You came up.”
He flinched at mention of Saturday.
Saturday, the final fight against Hawkmoth who showed up in person with a struggling Mayura and an akumatized sentimonster of Lila. The combination of their powers as well as the wickedness that resided in the girl proving to be a difficult fight for them all when Ladybug and Chat pulled the entire team in.
Including a Chloé Bourgeois who was more than ready to help.
He could’ve sworn he heard Marinette screaming his name in worry when Hawkmoth closed in on him and hit into his side with his cane full force. But that was ridiculous. Because Marinette was Ladybug and Ladybug was Marinette. And Marinette wanted nothing to do with Luka since they had broken up without reason beyond her excuse of not being able to be with him.
He was a bit bitter about the whole ordeal.
Okay, he was more so lovesick and depressed, but his negative energy still stood.
“Yeah,” he flinched again when he heard his voice crack and he thumbed his bracelet -once silver, now a metallic black to hide better, “At least they finally caught Hawkmoth for good.”
“No kidding, now we can just focus on the heroes and the gossip your little girlfriend’s bestie posts.”
A knife. Through his heart. Twisting and gutting.
“Gossip?” He chose the safer option of the sentence, ignoring the onslaught of pitying questions and half-assed supportive promises that correcting Théo would bring.
“Yeah, like how that Ryuuko dragon girl and Chat are definitely dating and that Viperion and Ladybug totally have the hots for one another and the soft looks they give during patrols.”
A chainsaw. Just shredding his heart to pieces.
Luka Couffaine once thought he was a smart kid who made the right decisions.
How wrong he had been.
“Right.” He bit out, gripping the strap of his guitar case and scratching his baseball cap.
Théo shot up and loudly clapped with a whoop, “There we go! Now, I should grab the mic stand from open mic nights and just plug that in and some speakers, then we’ll be good to go.” Maybe Luka should’ve just left. “I’ll get ‘er done in five minutes, tops.”
Luka only nodded, watching as he ran around and set things up, then proudly presented Luka with the lone table he left set up to sit on.
He eyed his skeptically behind his sunglasses before hopping up, testing his weight on the surface before he crossed one ankle across his thigh and took his guitar from Théo who unzipped it for him. Théo pushed the mic stand closer to Luka and adjusted when he peered up at him.
“What do you want me to sing?”
His old friend shrugged with an easy smile, “Anything that comes to mind and draws that big crowd of hungry girls over.” Luka bobbed his head in response and tuned his acoustic guitar as Théo began backing up to inside the store and cheered, “Show off that sinful voice of yours, man! Woo!”
He let out a short chuckle and emptied his mind completely as he shut down, letting his fingers strum a few notes to a song that he began to resonate deeply with.
“I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me,” he closed his eyes and mentally chastised himself for being so open with his feelings as they poured out of him through a popular song. “This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy.”
He could see Théo looking at him carefully when he opened before squeezing his eyes shut in pain. He hated that look of pity, but he already started singing this song and he knew he would have to see it through given that the customers at the shop had already turned their attention to him.
“I need somebody to heal
Somebody to know
Somebody to have
Somebody to hold,”
Did he growl at the end of that last line? He wasn’t sure but the audience seemed moved by it and how he didn’t go weak on the verbs. Maybe he could please someone for once by just following with what worked for him.
“It's easy to say
But it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain.”
He thought he saw the familiar flash of black with red accents that everyone knew as Ladybug’s new suit for a second up on the rooftops. The rooftops that she danced with Viperion on and let her laugh rang over the quiet town under the stars. He wasn’t sure if he was just hopelessly imagining her or if she was there, but he felt the pain bite all at once and his voice became wobbly in a way that the crowd seemed touched by. You’re kidding me.
“Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.”
Weak. He felt weak and it wasn’t the kind where he felt weak at the knees like when Marinette smiled up at him or her nose scrunched in thought.
He always thought he could be emotionally strong to handle whatever came his way. He was so sure of it.
“I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to,” Guess he was weak for Marinette in every way possible after all, “This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you.
“Now, I need somebody to know
Somebody to heal
Somebody to have
Just to know how it feels
It's easy to say but it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape.”
There was no blame to place, he knew that. It didn’t make it better or let him throw his anger at her to get it out, but he couldn’t keep punishing himself either.
He felt his eyes sting, shutting them as one tear slipped through and feeling grateful for both his dark shades and the sun beating down on his face past the patio table umbrella, hiding the evidence of his heartbreak.
“Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down,”
Who was he kidding? The heartbreak was the clearest part about him as he let the rough notes chip away at his throat and the growls making his voice artistically raw that he would have to worry about later.
His heart stopped painfully when he remembered the way Marinette’s face flushed all smitten like with a wondering look when Luka growled while singing and shot her winks, knowing how flustered it made her to see her calm and collective boyfriend with a soft and careful voice sounding so tortured for certain songs.
“And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.
How that came back to bite him in the ass.
He glanced up to blink away the tears and avoid the view of the large growing audience he couldn’t see from the sun.
He could’ve sworn he saw a flash of black and flecks of red again.
Fingers strummed harder and with more purpose and he let his soft voice fall back as the pain ripped through him and out in his voice.
“And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes
I fall into your arms
I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around.”
Fuck. He missed her. He missed her a fuck ton and wanted to hold her again and hear her whisper his nicknames of “Love”, “baby”, “handsome”, “Vipey”, whatever the hell she wanted to call him.
Even his damn name would be enough to sedate him for a year.
“For now the day bleeds
Into nightfall”
Dancing with her into the beginnings of a bad storm on the deck of the Liberty as they belted Cheap Thrills amist her giggles and his laughs he choked down to keep her beautiful voice going with his.
“And you're not here
To get me through it all”
Being curled up on her living room couch the next day with her cuddled into his side. Both sick with the cold, but unable to wipe the weak grins from their faces as Sabine amusingly disapproved of their actions the night before.
“I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug”
Their first kiss when she got flustered at their first date and told him she wouldn’t read too much into it despite wanting to, and him effectively shutting her up for the first time ever with the crash of his lips to hers and hands tilting her head up to meet him in reassurance.
“I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.”
The first time she called him her boyfriend and the pleased giggle she let out when he gave a startled and flustered noise, his snack flying out of the package he ripped open before he blinked and asked her to repeat what she said as a toothy grin broke his shocked face.
“But now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all”
Did a camera just flash at him? Hard to tell with the sun in his eyes and the dark lenses of his shades. He couldn’t find himself to care either.
“I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.”
He tried not to think about the fact that he forced himself to change his phone backgrounds to black, tried not to think if she deleted her phone screens of them napping together or the wallpaper of them dancing in the rain Juleka got of them as Luka dipped her over the edge of the stage they always practiced on.
The complete trust in her eyes and smile always made him melt in that picture. Her hands loosely holding her arms as her head titled back in a deep bellied laugh while he held onto her waist tightly with one arm and had the other behind him, the biggest smile that was only found on his face when Marinette was around.
“I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.”
Luka still fucking loved her more than anything.
His drive, his inspiration, his happiness and safe space. His melody that always rang loudly in his ears.
Now it sounded just as it did when they were younger.
The numbness took over as he looked up, face contorted into a forced happy expression as he dipped his head in gratitude to see the very big crowd that gathered and was clapping with tears in their eyes. He excused himself to find Théo who ignored how exposed the song made his old friend, conversing with him briefly as he counted the amount of customers before Luka left and promised to give him the 40% the next visit he came and a free coffee.
He put up his guitar, tugging the case back over his shoulder as he headed back to the Liberty and tossed the faux leather casing to the bed, tossing his sunglasses to the the bed as well before heading to the deck and off to take a lap to clear his break up riddled mind.
The third block was a close achievement, before he felt the petite body rush into him and the all too familiar wrap of small and strong legs wrap about his waist with a black latex suit arm winding around his neck. He subconsciously fell back into habit as one of his own dropped to hold under her thighs and one around her own waist as black fielded his vision.
He barely got a curse out before the all too telling sound of a spiritually powered string to the famous yo-yo pinned against restraint and shot them upwards, his unmasked face burying itself in the crook of her neck from the force rush of air to his eyes.
His chest tightened to the smell of hibiscus flowers and berries, clutching her tighter for the first time in a long while. Half aware he shifted her higher against him to have her bring them closer.
Well fuck if he wasn’t the most touch starved and needy ex ever.
The familiar sound of a specific metal railing being bounded by the yo-yo was the only warning he got before the touched surface with his feet and she loosened her grip.
He barely heard the words of her detransformation before he could see the flash of pink through black and pulled back from her neck.
Terror shook through him, and his hands and body trembled against her as he couldn’t force himself to look up. Staring intently at the silver anchor necklace he gave her, bounded in a rope of small teal jewels.
Luka couldn’t look at her face, couldn’t look away from the necklace she still wore. He couldn’t let her go or put her down either.
“Breathe love,” her quiet voice spoke, soft and hesitant, breaking Luka as he dropped them to his knees and brought her closer than before.
An audible sob he hadn’t heard since she walked away from him escaped his lips and heaved for air as his chin rested over her head and he looked frantically in front of him. At her balcony, the plants that littered the space and the wood paneling they rested on, the little ladybug statue he bought her as a cute joke.
Seeing none of it through blurry eyes, forcing himself to drop his head to her shoulder as she quaked with tears and ran a soothing hand through his hair.
“I’m so sorry, love.” He couldn’t get words out as he just grounded his face into her. “I thought I was protecting you, I didn’t realize how wrong I was.”
She pulled his face up, ceruleans magnified as his pupils dilated to the sight of her in front of him once again and the tips of his ears flaring just by her touch for the first time in forever. She caught a steam of tears with her thumb, giving him a tight smile.
“My miraculous gave me the intuition that Hawkmoth would make his final move.” She paused for a second, closing her eyes and she breathed deeply. “I thought for sure I would die when he did. Either by his winning, or ours but I would end up a casualty or sacrifice. You guys weren’t even supposed to be there, but Adrien insisted for backup and I just...”
“You left me because you thought you were going to be killed?” Voice gravelly and sore from the coffee shop, he pressed on, fingers twitching at her back. “Why didn’t you tell me? Even if you had to strap me down just to bench me from the fight, you should’ve told me.”
“You’re right,” she rushed. “Absolutely right, and it was pure hell to leave to that day or say what I did. I’ve never been more miserable with my life than I’ve been since we’ve broke up. I hate it, I hate being away from you so much, Luka.”
“Be mine again.”
“What?” She blinked, choking on air.
He squeezed his eyes shut, leaning into her touch when she held his face. “I don’t, I don’t fucking care if I’m being selfish anymore. It’s so hard not to be when it comes to you, Marinette. All these small details engraved to my mind, committed to memory and nothing to do with it.
“I keep leaving hoodies I casually wear on my amp for you to take, I keep putting that soft blanket you’re obsessed with folded on the edge of my bed for you to yank off and curl into as soon as you step into my room.” He forced his eyes not to open as he kept going, following the rhythm she provided and he struggled to find words for. “The minute I wake up, before I even open my eyes to see for the first time of the day, my phone is already in my hand with your contact open and a good morning text at the ready for you. Even good night texts when I reset my alarms. I keep leaving your spot open on my bed in case you visit while I’m asleep. Your favorite part on the couch for you. The last cherry popsicle of the package, and the cookie dough ice cream I bought out of habit are still in the freezer waiting for you to find them.
“I’m fucking broken without you.” He rasped, ceruleans meeting baby blues, “I’m missing you emotionally, figuratively, mentally, physically. How the hell am I supposed to be okay when you’ve become such a big part of me? When you’re my literal other half?”
She nudged his button nose with her small one, “I,” she gave a dark laugh that he felt in his core. “I keep airing out my room whenever my sewing machine leaves behind that electrical smell your nose scrunches at so much.” She giggled when she felt him do it at the mention of the scent. “I let the popcorn cook for half a minute longer to get it a little burnt like how you like. I sleep in your hoodies to leave behind the smell of my perfume and shampoo the way you said you like your hoodies to smell when I give them back. I play with my necklace when I grow nervous and can’t talk to you. I can’t go more than five hours without hovering over your contact name or looking at our pictures.”
He sat back on his knees, letting her adjust herself out of habit and moving her hair away from her face. The smile he gave was tight but reassuring.
“I missed you, doll.”
“I missed you too, Luka.” She paused for a second, “Hey,” she started cautiously.
“Hm,”
“Luka, you know I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you, right?”
The glint that quickly came to his eyes didn’t waver like his abused voice did, “I kinda figured from all the times you’ve blushed and stuttered. The times you tripped when I caught you off guard with a flirtatious comment or wink. And the times you kissed me like it was the end of the world.”
He looked up to see her set a false murderous glare above him as he ran his thumb over the teal gems in the rope around the anchor of her necklace, a smirk he hadn’t felt making way to his face as one of his naturally slightly pointer canines became visible to express his pure happiness.
“I forgot how much of a jerk you could be,” she huffed, looking away and sniffing.
“I’m sorry, doll.” He made her look at him, eyes still shining with unshed tears as the stared into hers. His grin was pure radiance, “I love you.”
She let him pull her down to a kiss, feeling those soft pouty lips he loved so much back on his again. “I know,” she replied between kisses, causing him to huff and pull away with his own pout. She held alone his jawline, “I’m kidding, kinda. But, I love you too.”
Her giggle when he let out a happy and short hum was pure music to his ears as her melody finally fell back into the correct time signature and key. Even as he parted with a pant and hugged her close, stroking her hair.
“Just, don’t leave me in the dark again.” He started, seeing her phone that fell out of her back pocket light up with a text from Alya.
Alya: So did you kiss and makeup, or not? I have Nino on the edge of his seat.
Alya: no really, he keeps asking and refuses to do ANYTHING until he finds out.
Alya: for fuck’s sake, answer and let me get laid
He hid his smile in her shoulder from the texts and the fact that she never changed her screens from them. Letting him see her cheek smushed up against his chest and her arm lazily thrown around his waist while his held her close.
“Never, not again. I’m not stupid enough to make the same mistake twice like I once was.” He snorted at the reference to her old crush on Adrien years ago. “But we do have something to talk about.”
He pulled back, eyeing her cautiously. “Did I do something?”
“Yes,” his heart fell and he was ready to beg for her forgiveness. “You know how many girls have your picture now? Videos of you singing a song in such a beautifully tortured way with those growls, and the rough notes and the, stop laughing Couffaine!”
“I’m sorry,” he muffled his laughs behind his hand. “I forgot how much fun I had just by talking with you and your small bouts of jealousy.”
“Oh, I’m bad? Says the boy who sang a song that people keep covering for heartbreak.”
“I’m getting paid for doing it.”
“How much?”
“40% of the customers I brought in by drawing a crowd and a coffee on the house,” he let a smile spread across his face. “You know, I might be able to change it. Can I treat you to a free mint hot chocolate, a date as well maybe?”
She considered him for a second.
“With whipped cream,” he added for extra measure to his small sweet’s addict. He dimpled up at her with a scrunch when she kissed his button nose.
“God, I love you, Luka.”
“I love you too,” he kissed her slowly, “Mari, just don’t let me sing like that again, my voice is killing me.”
“Got it, never leave you again.”
“Pretty much.”
“Hey, you look cute with your baseball cap backwards like this.” She winked, pulling his black hat from the balcony floor where it fell off and back on his head.
“I’d respond with a witty comment, but it hurts to talk now.”
She grinned, “Hm, I love you.”
Luka still smiled despite flinching from the rawness of his throat, “I love you.”
#luka couffaine#miraculous ladybug#luka x marinette#marinette dupain cheng#love#miraculous luka#life#marinette dupain cheng x luka couffaine#miraculous lb#mlb luka#angst prompts#fluffy prompt#requested#requested prompt#ANGST#lmao I wrote this all night until 8 am#singing#heartbreak#broken heart#angsty luka
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ATTENTION QUEEN FANDOM ARTISTS
I’m organising a fandom wide collaborative art project - creating a Queen themed tarot deck! I’ve organised general ideas of what each card will feature so that we get a good range of images and theres a connection to the meanings of each card but I can’t create all 78 art pieces on my own.
For the moment I’m going to focus on the Major Arcana of which there are 22. So, if you are an artist in the Queen fandom and would be interested in participating please follow the link below to a short survey I’ve created where you’ll be asked to rank the cards in order of which you’d be most interested in creating art for.
LINK
Below the cut I have included the list of cards and the prompts for each one, as well as some other info about the project. If you have any questions that weren’t covered below please send me a message (via ask box or dm)!
If you see this and aren’t artistically inclined please give it a reblog or share it with any artists you know. I’d love this post to reach as many artists as possible and I can’t rely on tumblr to show it in the tags or anything so I would love some extra help spreading the world.
Why A Tarot Deck?
I’m honestly not even sure where exactly this idea came from. All I remember is that one day I thought it would be a fun idea and then I started thinking about it more and realised just how much work it would be. In an effort to learn about the meanings of the tarot cards I started learning to read tarot (something I’ve been curious about for many years now anyway) and it all sort of snowballed from there.
Why Multiple Artists?
Because I’m not confident or capable enough of pulling this off on my own lmao. I enjoy making art but I struggle big time with drawing people and faces and I know I would give up after a handful of cards if I was doing this on my own. But multi-artist decks are very much a thing in the tarot community and theres some really cool ones out there.
What Sort of Art?
Anything. Whatever medium you enjoy using - digital, watercolour, acrylics, charcoal, etc - and whatever your style is! As long as you can send me a clean copy that can fit into the card template, then you can do what you like. The prompts I’ve chosen for each card are also fairly loose because I didn’t want to limit anyone’s creativity. Part of the joy of a collaborative deck is everyone’s individual interpretations of the cards and the imagery on them.
The only times I may say you can’t depict a particular outfit or moment is if I’ve already planned it to be on one of the minor arcana cards but otherwise you’ll have free reign.
I Don’t Know Anything About Tarot, Does That Matter?
NOPE! After the survey responses have been collected I will deal out the cards to everyone (hopefully in a way where everyone gets to work on something they really want to 🤞) and part of that will include a PDF with some information about the card - keywords associated with it, examples of other decks, why that prompt was chosen for it, etc - to help you get started if you need it. I am also always available to ask questions or bounce ideas off of.
Distribution?
This is the part I’m still looking into. I am wary of putting these up for sale anywhere because obviously there are copyright things and using people’s likenesses and all of that and the last thing I want is for my favourite band to take me to court lmao. Currently I am investigating a site called Make Playing Cards which basically lets you design your own card decks (one of the specific options being tarot cards) and print them off without having to bulk order anything. I’m just not entirely sure if they let you upload and share a design for free or if you have to put them up for sale. I’ll also create a PDF version that people can print themselves at home if they like. If anyone has any other suggestions for this I am all ears!
Of course something like Kickstarter is also an option I guess but, again, I’m still looking into all of this.
Time frame?
I definitely do not want to rush this. The loose timeline I’ve been working off of gives you three or four months to create your card after which time I can start finding people for the minor arcana cards. But, this can be adjusted depending on how many people sign up and y’know if everyone submits their pieces earlier than that then we can bump the next stage up. But I want to give everyone ample time to create something they are proud of. And I am very aware that the current global situation is affecting people’s creative energies and on top of that some of you may be participating in Inktober or similar things around this time of year, so I am also happy to extend the timeline.
What Happens If Not Enough People Sign Up?
Look, I guess it depends on how few artists are interested. Ideally I’d get enough people to do the major arcana but I’m not getting my hopes up. There is a question in the survey asking if you’d be willing to create multiple pieces so if there are left over cards I can hand them out to anyone who says they want them. I can also do a couple myself I just can’t do all 78 cards on my own.
What Happens If Too Many People Sign Up?
I am surprisingly prepared for this scenario. Firstly there were a few ideas I was throwing around that didn’t end up being used in the final list so potentially we can create some alternate cards.
Secondly, there is still the minor arcana to do as well. The minors will work a bit differently though. The minor arcana is similar to a deck of playing cards with four suits (wands, cups, pentacles, swords) and the numbers ace through ten plus four court cards (king, queen, knight, page). I was thinking the same artist could pick a number or court position and create the four cards for it so that they all match, if that makes sense. That way all of the Fours will look the similar and all of the kings will look similar etc. SO if anyone doesn’t get to do a major arcana I’ll check if they’d be interested in tacking a minor instead.
You Said There Would Be A List Where’s The List?
The Fool/s - Smile
The Magician/s - Queen
The High Priestess - Freddie in The Great Pretender
The Empress - Roger in The Great Pretender
The Emperor - Miami
The Hierophant - The Prophets Song
The Lovers - Freddie and Jim
The Chariot - Tour Bus
Justice - Present Day Bri
The Hermit - Older John
Wheel of Fortune - A Night At The Opera/Bohemian Rhapsody record
Strength - Ben Hardy
The Hanged Man - Highlander (or any of the queen songs featured in it)
Death - Bri in the Hard Life video
Temperance - Naked bicycle race
The Devil - Death on Two Legs
The Tower - Frank from News of the World
The Star - Rami Malek
The Moon - Gwilym Lee
The Sun - Joe Mazzello
Judgement - Adam Lambert/Q+AL?
The World - Made In Heaven/Tribute Concert
As you can see there’s a mix of Queen themselves, other people associated with them, objects associated with the band, and songs. I know some of these are sightly out there or unusual but please have a think about them and see if any spark your interest or get the creative juices flowing. I am also open to discussing potential other images to use instead if you’ve got an idea. As long as they can be tied to the meaning of the cards.
#queen#queen band#queen band art#queen fanart#freddie mercury#freddie mercury art#roger taylor#roger taylor art#brian may#brian may art#john deacon#john deacon art#adam lambert art#bohemian rhapsody#borhap#borhap cast#borhap art
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i was tagged by @mollyweasly to answer the following 73 questions! thank you for tagging me steph ♥
on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? i'm actually pretty content and the only thing that i'm rdreading right now is my upcoming finals so maybe 6!
describe yourself in a hashtag? #alwaystired
if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? no one comes to mind but steph's answer was chris evans and i'd say the same tbh 👀
if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? uh maybe "dumb bitch" or "chaotic mess" LMAO idk honestly my life isn't that interesting most of the time
what’s one thing people don’t know about you? that i'm lowkey depressed. most of my old friends know this but they don't rlly know how bad it makes me feel sometimes & i don't think i'll ever tell my college friends abt this except for one person!
what’s your wake up ritual? lay in bed for another 5-15 mins, check the time, and brush my teeth. next i'd either shower, workout, or attend online class
what’s your go to bed ritual? just on my phone looking at useless things and answering my friends' messages. i'll get tired soon so i'll just daydream and sleep. lately i've been listening to music to help me sleep!
what’s your favorite time of day? late night and early morning
your go to for having a good laugh? i love watching lip sync battles. my favorites are by emma stone, tom holland, anne hathaway & channing tatum!
dream country to visit? the UK! my cousin talks abt it all the time and now she's taking her postgrad degree there which makes me incredibly jealous 😢 but honestly i'm dying to travel europe as a whole!
what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? probably when my high school friends bought me the doc martens shoes that i LOVE for my 17th birthday! i love them and miss them even tho many are not in touch with me anymore
heels or flats/sneakers? flats/sneakers definitely! i've never tried heels tbh i can only endure wedges and they alr hurt SO much
vintage or new? both
who do you want to write your obituary? probably my best friend!
style icon? taylor swift during the red era, noora sætre, orion carloto, ashley aka best.dressed!
what are three things you cannot live without? books, internet, family
what’s one ingredient you put in everything? salt
what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? taylor swift, chris evans, audrey hepburn
what’s your biggest fear in life? the unknown, anything horror & reptiles esp lizards (i can't stand reptiles AT ALL i'd literally cry and die if i have to touch one or sleep in the same room with one)
window or aisle seat? window
what’s your current tv obsession? haven't been watching any tv lately but i've been watching mukbangs on youtube a lot
favorite app? line (a messaging app mostly used by indonesians. i rlly like the stickers and themes i own lmao)
secret talent? i can play guitar just a lil bit
most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? either drinking beers with my friends on a school field trip or not telling my parents that i went to the city alone during college just to hangout by myself
how would you define yourself in three words? introverted, chaotic, anxious
favorite piece of clothing you own? an adidas jacket that was on a 50% sale for international women's day!!!
a must have clothing item that everyone should have? black pants
a superpower you would want? invisibility and mind control!!!
what’s inspiring you in life right now? since i was a little kid, i've always been inspired by my cousin. she's my role model!
best piece of advice you’ve received? to literally BELIEVE in yourself
best advice you’d give your teenage self? don't be so self-aware bc everyone's busy with themselves, make more friends, cherish your time in school more
a book everyone should read? harry potter series, the raven cycle
what would you like to be remembered for? for being a good, positive person
how do you define beauty? beauty is whatever that evokes a positive feeling out of oneself i guess!
what do you love most about your body? my eyes
best way to take a rest/decompress? skincare, listen to soothing music, drink a warm beverage, watch smth that's easy to watch, and just sleep!
favorite place to view art? galleries, but i've only been to one sadly
if your life was a song, what would the title be? maybe "paradox" or "misunderstood"
if you could master one instrument, what would it be? piano! but it's expensive and not portable so if i'm being realistic, it'd be guitar
if you had a tattoo, where would it be? in the back of my neck! also maybe on any of my fingers or below my ribcage
dolphins or koalas? koalas
what’s your spirit animal? deer!
best gift you’ve ever received? doc martens shoes given by my friends!
best gift you’ve given? i think i wrote my friend letters to open when she's in different moods once
what’s your favorite board game? monopoly
what’s your favorite color? pink, purple, yellow, monochrome
least favorite color? i just dislike bright obnoxious colors
diamond or pearls? diamonds
drugstore makeup or designer? both, but i mostly can't afford designer anyway so..
blow-dry or air-dry? both
pilates or yoga? i've never tried any actually
coffee or tea? both, but i'm leaning towards tea
what’s the weirdest word in the english language? can't think of any right now..
dark chocolate or milk chocolate? milk chocolate!!!
stairs or elevators? elevators
summer or winter? winter
you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? burgers!!
a dessert you don’t like? basically i won't like anything with fruits
a skill you’re working on mastering? photoshop i guess? i'm planning to learn coding too now that i have the time!!
best thing to happen to you today? probably finishing my gifset! but honestly, i was supposed to be studying lmao
worst thing to happen to you today? i didn't study lmao
best compliment you’ve ever received? i don't think it's anything that memorable so i can't really think of one
favorite smell? jasmine
hugs or kisses? both
if you made a documentary, would it be about? space, mythology
last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? i get a little teary eyed if i come across a touching content on instagram/twitter tbh lmao. but i'd say the last movie that made me cry so bad was her (2013)
lipstick or lipgloss? lipstick
sweet or savory? savory
girl crush? emma watson
how do you know your in love? don't think i've ever been in love, i've only experienced like a very long crush so...
a song you can listen to on repeat? there are a lot... but for now, woman by mumford & sons and anything by taylor swift
if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? taylor swift!!!
what are you most excited for about this time in your life? i've just been enjoying editing for tumblr a lot, i haven't really posted consistent content in my 10 years of being here so that's been fun. i also want to learn coding and become an overall healthier person by working out regularly & eating mindfully! honestly i'm trying to build my confidence and become healthier, both mentally and physically
tagging: @dianaprincie @cllianmurphy @cinderllas @edgarallan @rosamunqpike @gamoora @nataliamaximoff (sorry if you've done this before, feel free to ignore!)
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RULES: Answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers you want to get to know better.
i was tagged by @pinkxingmi thanks so much for tagging me!!!
1. Name? I’m a paranoid freak and my name isn’t super common so i’m afraid my real name would make me too identifiable online....so for all intents and purposes you all can call me Rose! I wish that was my real name anyway lol
2. Nicknames? I’ve actually never had a nickname before!
3. Zodiac? Cancer
4. Height? 5′2″, or ~157cm for all you metric system folks
5. Languages? just english unfortunately :/
6. Nationality? American. I wanna say Chicana but i know that’s bullshit because i’m only 25% mexican and i wasn’t raised In the Culture™ and i don’t even like, speak spanish or anything
7. Favorite season? Winter! I love the coziness and the holiday season and the crisp air.....part of it may just be my California Privilege™ tho lmao because it barely ever gets colder than like, 50° fahrenheit here
8. Favorite flower? Roses, always roses!
9. Favorite scent? I like floral scents, stuff like rose water and cherry blossom probably being my favorites
10. Favorite color? purple! pretty much all shades of purple, from lilac to violet
11. Favorite animal? cats! all kinds of cats, tigers and house cats being my favorite lol
12. Favorite fictional character? it’s always been boa hancock from one piece, but maybe it’s the current hyperfixation talking but as of recently i honestly think morrigan from dragon age is making a run for the throne
13. coffee, tea, or hot chocolate? hot chocolate, definitely. especially with cinnamon!
14. Average sleep? 8-10 hours because i’m an unemployed garbage person
15. dog or cat person? cat person. i love dogs but i’ve never owned one so sometimes i get kinda jumpy around them...
16. Number of blankets owned? like owned owned? oh god as a Californian™ i get super cold so own like 7 blankets....5 of which are on my bed right now.....
17. Dream trip? My dream trip has always been to do a world tour of all the Disney parks, starting here in California and then Disney World, Disneyland Paris, Hong Kong Disneyland, Shanghai Disneyland, and then ending with Tokyo Disneyland because a lot of people say Tokyo Disney Sea is the best theme park in the world
18. Blog established? 2013, on christmas eve! god i can’t believe i was 15 when i started this blog....
19. Followers? 116. very sad for a blog that’s over 6 years old, huh?
20. Random fact? my best friend from middle school who i’m still friends with today has the same first and middle name as me. like i mentioned my first name isn’t very common so this is a really weird coincidence.
it’s hilarious if you think i actually know 20 people on this site lmao........so i’m just not gonna do the whole tagging thing for now, sorry
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Hey remember when I said I’d do a lyric analysis of northern downpour, and then didn’t do that for like 6 months? yeah here we go:
the opening line of Northern Downpour: “if all our life is but dream” really sets the tone for the song, its half quoting a children’s song; establishing the almost nursery rhyme aesthetic the has going on for large parts. The changes Ryan makes to the line also reveal important thematic elements in the song--“life is but a dream” is changed from a definitive and general statement; its no longer commenting about general reality but rather questioning all his established feelings about their relationship. He is turning to the other person and saying “is any of this real? is this all a fantasy ive built up in my head?” it feels almost as if he is Begging them to contradict him, to tell him what they have is good and Real and not just “broken glass”, that for a second looked like “diamonds”, and although theres a desperate uncertainty to how hes wording these thoughts “/if/ all our life is but a dream” “/do appear/ to be, just like broken glass /to me/“ you get a sense its less that he’s unsure and more that he has this realization and he is /Praying/ he is wrong.
The second verse seems to be the other person’s reply, but instead of addressing his thoughts and questions they turns to what seem like general criticisms of him “i cant believe that genius only comes across in storms of fable foreign tongues”, this line seems to be a dig at how he expresses himself: unorganized, wild, and hard to understand, while they insist thats this cant be the only way, they offer him this rather than, as noted before, addressing his fear that they’re relationship is nothing more than a fantasy or a dream.
The chorus seems to shift away slightly from the conversation the first to verses are detailing, the tone also switches back to the nursery rhyme that was present in the first line of the song. It’s directed to a personified version of the moon, a common theme in english nursery rhymes, it’s also reminiscent of ‘rain, rain go away’ although reversed in meaning. Overall the line is almost a prayer, begging the moon to say in the in the hope that that would freeze this moment forever, this hope adds a sense of anxiety to the whole song as if whatever happiness is held in this moment is fragile and will inevitably end with the day break. Using a child like tone gives the line an innocent edge, innocent as in ignorant rather, he’s asking for an impossible thing, wording it like a nursery rhyme or children’s song acknowledges this, asking for this night/this moment/ maybe even this entire relationship to last is as fruitless as child singing to that rain in the hope that it will bring fair weather
“Sugarcane in the easy morning/weathervanes my one and lonely”; speaks of Contrast; the first line feels to me to be about happiness and contentment: sugarcane is sweet and wonderful but also simple and natural, he also used the word ‘easy’ which i think compounds that, its a situation that is happy and beautiful but also effortless then you add the setting of the morning time which brings with it a sense of domesticality, and so the line paints a picture of a relationship or situation that is blissful and warm but natural and content also(much like a home)This is immediately contrasted with the next line; ‘weathervanes my one and lonely’ : weathervanes are an image that instantly conjure(for me anyway) ideas of isolation, they are distant from everything, they’re an object you own but have no physical contact with, this is then emphasized by the weathervane being described as lonely, Ryan, by using a possessive phrase aligns himself with the weathervane, creating the suggestion they are the same(he is also isolated and alone). Further more the choice of a weathervane suggests location as well, theyre an object rarely if ever found in the city, an object that is completely connected to farm life, as this is a song written by someone who lives in a city but travels long, long distances through the country seeing things like weathervanes would be a visual reminder that he’s a far from home as it well as being an object that is ‘lonely’ in its own right, bringing us back to the ‘one and lonely’ part, they’re joined together by their equal loneliness.
we shift back to the conversation here with a description of the of the other person talking: “through playful lips made of yarn”, Ryan has been using body imagery through out the song, and theres often been a subtle personification of the body parts, which is very true in this case. Instead of the speaker being simply described as talking the words move through their ‘playful lips’, which gives the words an edge of agency in their own right. But in this case he hasn’t just personified the lips, he’s also given them a sense of the artificial, by describing them as being made of ‘yarn’, not only is it a artificial material, it also has a strikingly different texture to lips(the line wouldnt have the same effect had he used plastic instead) the description gains a very haptic feel to it, but also alien and strange, potentially indicating his feelings towards the other person at this point.
The emotion of the verse starts shifts back to the more distraught feeling at the start of the song, the “Capricorn” is described as “fragile” and the words the came from the “playful lips” now “unravel”. As if the as the conversation progresses the other person gets more and more upset, and their speech more jumbled.
There isn’t a clear indication who or what ‘that fragile capricorn’ is, the natural inclination is that it’s the other person(presumably they are a capricorn) but its place in the verse seems to suggest otherwise— it seem to be the cause for the mood change, “/That/ fragile Capricorn /unraveled/ words like moths upon old scarves”, like it is the cause for the unraveling, I want to argue that its an outside force or situation, potentially the conversation they are currently having; tentative and hanging over their heads.
this is immediately followed by, what ryan described as the central line of p.o.: “I know the world’s a broken bone but melt your headaches call it home”, in the context of this song potentially being about a troubled relationship it could be taken to be about that specifically, a plea either to the other person or himself to keep working on the problems in their relationship, but I think its almost meant to be taken in general sense,(potentially as well) its not enough to just acknowledge the ways in which your life, or the wide world is hard and harmful and then to wallow it that pain, rather you have to then be proactive in that situation and Make It Better(which is a bit of a theme in jon’s solo music but i Digress).
the song then moves back into a repetition of the ‘sugarcane’ line, eventually interlaced with ‘hey moon’, finally the song ends on two new lines: “You are at the top of my lungs/Drawn to the ones who never yawn” and return to the body imagery that has ran through the song, “you are at the top of my lungs” has implication of someone ‘taking your breathe away’(tho its infinitely better worded that i actually feel guilty describing it as such but i dont know how else to put it). yawning is a sign of tiredness or boredom so the opposite of that invokes connotations of focus or intensity, tho i got to say im unclear as to whether that line refers to Him being “drawn to the ones who never yawn” or the other person, I default on it being the other person because of the wording but it makes more sense to me if it refers to ryan idk
basically northern downpour is a song that sits tentatively strung between the knowledge that maybe this relationship isnt the healthiest and being So in love with the other person that you almost dont care but mainly desperately want to be proved wrong, desperately begging the moon to stay in the sky so this Good moment doesnt end and you wont have to face reality by the harsh light of day
Some Notes
•this might be a a bit of a hot take idk it isnt really what i thought about the song until i thought intensly about each line for hours but once i landed on it the more i became convinced that was what the song was talking about, its still just my interpretation tho, how ever you interpretated it is just as valid u know, and if you wanna send me your thoughts about northern downpour(or any song off pretty odd lmao) please feel free! i obviously have Thoughts lmaoo
•kinda wanna write an entire piece about how northern downpour, dangrous blues and lie to the truth are basically a trilogy, kinda wanna cry
•i had to physically stop myself from writing an entire paragraph about how ‘i know the worlds a broken bone but melt your headaches call it home’ is a progression from the central ideas of fever and im real emotional about it but i managed to control myself cos it didnt really fit
#also feel free to to send me a message if there are typos in this i tried hard to edit it but i wouldnt be suprized if i missed some#ryan ross#pretty. odd.#panic! at the disco#patd#txt#long post#sorry i donno how to do readmores on mobile and the desktop version really didnt want me to post this 😫
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Serefin, the idiot, panics that he’s lost his eyesight until he realises it’s night time, so of course he can’t see jack shit.
Apparently we have gone from the royal gardens to his BEDROOM, somehow! Talk about a hard fucking cut, like jfc
“This is scandalous, Żaneta,” he mumbled, resting his head back against the pillows.
“Definitely more scandalous than the prince being attacked in his own palace gardens,” she agreed.
Żaneta has her head screwed on, which is more than I can say about Serefin for the entirety of this book so far.
Apparently the assassin that Serefin “acrid sprayed” in the face survived and is in the palace’s dungeons, so that’s something; though bad news for Serefin, his father has heard about the whole thing. If the assassins aren’t ones sent by the king, you’d think he’d get better security by now.
Serefin muses that it’s probably not his father’s because they wouldn’t have failed to kill him if it was. I mean... probably not? Considering this whole thing has been that his dad has plans for his heir and those plans are murder plans. Also what’s happening with the Rawalyk? Also how much time is passing in between these chapters? How long has Serefin been back in the palace? Does time pass at the same rate in both POVs?
“My father is going to blame the Kalyazi,” he mused.
“Was it not them?” Żaneta asked, standing up.
“I . . . don’t know.” The Kalyazi did not train incompetent assassins; his eye was a tribute to that. This could have been the work of the Crimson Vulture. Perhaps his father was behind the attack and she had shifted the pieces so incompetent assassins were sent instead to give him a better chance. He hated living with a black cloud of doom hovering over his steps, certain that his future was bleak but not having any clear answers.
I mean, how do we know that? Lmao Those could’ve just been very competent assassins and these could’ve been very bad assassins, if they are Kalyazi.
Serefin makes Żaneta leave the room and Kacper comes in instead, and Kacper comments that Żaneta didn’t look too happy leaving. Kacper mentions that a Vulture is interrogating the remaining assassin.
What information did he have? An attack on his life, a plan to find a queen for Tranavia, and questions with no answers. Why was his father sending thousands upon thousands of prisoners to the Salt Mines? Why was his father working so closely with the Vultures? To what end? Why now?
What was happening?
Well apparently your dad wants you fucking dead and he’s trying to achieved godhood through blood magic and dead people, apparently, so y’know. Why the Vultures are going along with this when it’s been made explicitly clear that they only answer to the Black Vulture, their king, who knows? Maybe this is a play by the Vultures themselves to manipulate and control the king, I wouldn’t be surprised.
“Have you seen the current list of families participating in the Rawalyk?” Kacper asked.
“No, why?”
“It seems to be fluctuating,” he said. “Names of girls keep appearing then disappearing suddenly.”
“What do you mean?”
Kacper shook his head. “I’m not sure. I want to look into it, see if the girls are just getting nervous or if it’s something else.”
Serefin let out a breathless laugh. “We are so paranoid.”
I do hope that this fucking means something and isn’t a plot thread that’s going to be dropped later on in the book. I mean, that’s a futile hope considering @jefflion told me that the Rawalyk is pretty worthless. But oh boy, Serefin hasn’t looked at who he could hypothetically marry? Dude, why wouldn’t you?
Serefin decides that after nearly getting assassinated, it’s time to see his mum cause oh well, not the time to procrastinate.
He wasn’t sure she could help him, not with anything. But it was all he could do at this point. He was trapped in a cage of gold and iron with no door to escape from and had been given a dagger when he needed a saw to cut a hole in his prison.
Okay then, Serefin lmao Look, I’m all for that “a golden cage is still a cage” imagery, but like, chill. Being more edgy with it does not, in fact, make that allegory any more impactful.
Serefin nodded absently, before frowning and squinting up at Kacper. “Are you all right?”
Kacper blinked in surprise. “Me? Of course, why? They weren’t trying to kill me.”
Serefin eyed the other boy, taking in his dark hair and skin, the scar that cut across one of his eyebrows, and his sharp, brown eyes. He hadn’t grown up fighting off assassination attempts like Serefin and Ostyia. By all rights, Kacper should have been just another soldier in the king’s army; he was of low birth. His exceptional talent with blood magic and his sharp skills for espionage meant he had been shuffled around in the army until he was assigned to Serefin’s company. Their friendship had been struck a month into Serefin’s first tour of the front when he was sixteen. Kacper had gotten into a spitting fight with Ostyia. She broke his arm, he fractured three of her ribs, and it had taken Serefin knocking them both unconscious to get them apart.
Serefin still didn’t know what the fight was about. Neither would tell him. It had taken another week for Serefin to promote Kacper to his personal service after Kacper had nearly lost his other arm on Serefin’s behalf.
I get it, Kacper is brown, Kacper has dark skin, you don’t need to be Like That about it lmao Also that’s such a heavy-handed way to exposition your way through how the three of them met and became friends. Also Kacper is good at espionage and I’m trying to figure out whether he’s a more functional version of Azriel from ACOTAR or not...
But I mean, Azriel is a lowwwww fucking bar to clear, so I mean even if he is better than him, that doesn’t mean much tbh lol
But a “spitting fight”, fucking what? lmao Also if he’s so good at espionage, what is he doing as a common soldier in the army in the first place? Also I might just be being petty, but I still feel like rewarding a person for personal heroism and saving your life by assigning them as one of your personal bodyguards after your apparent childhood best friend got into an intense fight with them a week before is a bit of an overreaction but that might just be me.
Also, would like to know the circumstances of how and what Kacper saved Serefin’s life from but alas, we don’t get that important detail. A shame.
Anyways, Serefin and Kacper talk a bit more before Serefin leaves with Ostyia to see his mother. She seems like an utter delight.
“I have been in this blasted city for weeks now and my only son has just finally deigned to grace me with his presence.” The graceful lilt of his mother’s voice came floating down the hall. Lena shot Serefin a sympathetic look. Serefin had always found his mother to be a bit baffling. Both of his parents were larger than life, greater than reality. He had seen so little of them growing up.
His childhood had been spent with tutors and servants. His parents were figureheads who would move in and out of his life with little permanence. They sometimes appeared in the evening at mealtimes only to disappear once again at the start of a new day. Serefin had Ostyia—whose family had always lived in the palace—as well as a cousin on his mother’s side, but that was all. The cousin had left when they were still very young, off to the country for his health. His aunt and uncle were still seen around the palace, Serefin knew that much, but he had never seen his cousin again, and had eventually stopped inquiring.
Isn’t he your only child period? lol Also I’m sure this cousin was so important, as ED doesn’t bother to even give him a name. It’s also apparently the next fucking day, which is just a common theme in this book where we just jump from location to location or day to day, and expected to just follow along. I still don’t know how long he’s been at this palace, and how time passing in one POV relates to time passing in the other POV.
Serefin and Klarysa talk a little bit about the assassination attempt while Klarysa reinforces her apparent contempt for the city of Grazyk, and she’s not happy that he visited Pelageya before he visited her. I don’t know how egregious that is considering we don’t know how long it’s been since he visited her on his first day back in the palace.
Oh and Serefin describes the room as lavish, befitting of the Queen of Tranavia but we don’t get any description of its lavishness.
“Do you think I can turn the court to my side?” he asked.
She blinked, straightening in her chair. “Serefin?”
“Oh, I’m sure he knows anyway,” Serefin said, waving a hand. “I just need to know how many steps ahead of me he is.”
“Your father—” she put emphasis on the word ‘father’ as if it meant something to Serefin. Maybe once it had. Years ago when he thought he might win his father’s love. Not anymore.
“I found a cleric in Kalyazin. No one else seems to find that important. Doesn’t it strike you as a bit strange? They sent the Vultures after her, but she escaped.”
Serefin, our incompetent alcoholic prince, we’ve been over this a million times already; let’s not get into your blatant hypocrisy again. Also it’s kind of funny how this chapter just isn’t up to snuff compared to like, the last Serefin chapter. Like of course it’s better than any and all Nadya’s chapters so far, but like, oh boy.
His mum tells him that he should listen to Pelageya and her prophecies. I don’t get why, if his mum cares so much, that she isn’t doing that much to protect her only son. Like if his mum doesn’t really care about him, that’d be another thing, but we have no real reason to believe that she doesn’t so far.
“Listen to her, Serefin. I know you don’t want to. I know you think her mad. But listen to her. She could be the only thing that saves you.”
“Saves me? Yes, I’m clearly trying not to die here, but I don’t think the witch is going to help.”
“Not from your father, from the Vultures. From the gods. From everything.”
“Mother?”
“Pelageya knows what she speaks of.” His mother was speaking quickly, her voice low. She knew whatever they said would return to the king. She cast a suspicious glance toward where the wall met the ceiling, the likeliest of locations for eavesdropping spells. “I can’t help you, Serefin, you know that.”
Firstly, eavesdropping spells?! Can’t Serefin cast a spell to detect other spells or charms??? Also you’re telling me that Serefin, ultra talented general blood mage prodigy that he is, can’t cancel out any potential eavesdropping spells so he can have this conversation in peace??? WHY DON’T THEY JUST HAVE THIS CONVERSATION IN PELAGEYA’S TOWER SINCE NOBODY HAS FUCKED WITH THAT PLACE APPARENTLY.
It’s not like Pelageya cares! Pelageya apparently likes the Queen and the Queen likes Pelageya! She’s a companion of the queen!
Serefin felt cold. “What has he done?”
Klarysa shook her head. There was fear in her eyes.
She can’t tell me, he realized. If she tells me, he’ll kill her, too. What did she know that he had yet to figure out?
“Give me something,” he pleaded.
“Your father has always been a monster,” she said. “But at least he had his own mind, his decisions were his own.” She shook her head. “I fear he too has been taken by the Vultures.”
I swear to fucking god, if his dad is a fucking Valg, I will scream. I am not going through that shit again. FE: Fates already did it too and I am just, leave it be.
It was altogether likely there was discord amongst the Vultures as well. That the Crimson Vulture was working apart from her own king, the Black Vulture. But who was holding the strings?
Serefin still had no answers.
And so don’t we, about a lot of things. But that is the end of that chapter! We learn really nothing new on the whole “king is evil and corrupt” front, that he’s being manipulated and controlled by the Vultures is kind of a given. Not as interesting as this plot initially was. But still, I will take mediocrity over whatever the fuck is going on in Nadya’s chapter.
Which is up next!
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Thoughts on scripted?
hey nonnie, so i’m so so sorry i kept you waiting for like four days for this but i just really needed some time to properly process and collect my thoughts (cause i have a lot on this) and take my time to get them down in a coherent way, i still feel like it’s a bit jumbled and unclear at times but i tried my best to explain my thoughts as best i could. i hope it’s sufficient...
My Thoughts on Scripted
so i wanna preface this by making it clear to everyone who may read this that this is strictly my own interpretation of things and my own opinion on what zayn’s trying to convey in this song. personally, i think this song is very much about public images, narratives, and stunting, and sticking it out through all of that, so that’s the direction/theme that a lot of my interpretations of the lyrics in this song are gonna lean towards. you don’t have to agree. in fact, if you disagree that’s fine and i welcome and any all rational and fair/polite discussion on different interpretations of the song and certain verses or lines within it. i’m in no way trying to convince anyone to see anything a certain way (and my own interpretations and thoughts/opinions on this may even evolve or change with time), but i was asked by this nonnie to share my thoughts (currently) on the song and so that’s what i’m doing, and if anyone has a problem with any of the opinions or interpretations stated here i just ask that you address me about it respectfully :)
ok now onto the song analysis:
Blurry TV screens
Fuzzy broken scenes
Finding words don't have flow
Blurry TV screens
Fuzzy broken scenes
Hold her close finding love
so this verse to me seems like it could be meant to have a double meaning, as in 1) the scenes or roles they [he and liam and/or the other boys] have to play out (i.e. stunts, fake dates, scripted interviews, etc. that they feel like they’re playing out like a scene in a movie/tv show - mgmt telling them hold her hand this way, hug/kiss at this angle so it looks more intimate, ok now let’s take this pic/video and then we’ll do another angle; making sure to only show pieces of the story like scenes and only the pieces and angles that fit the narrative they wanna sell, etc.) and/or 2) the time they get to themselves which often feels like only snapshots that go by too quickly and are like a blur/fuzzy in their minds (stolen moments together in between stunt outings and shows and things where they have to perform/are expected to put on and keep up their usual act for the cameras before they can go back to being themselves again/have some time alone together to just be again, etc.), and the “finding words don’t have flow” part could mean because he doesn’t know how to talk about it or express how he feels about it cause he just has so many conflicting feelings (or even just that he can’t talk about it cause he’s not allowed)
Hearts don't feel the same
And the names we like to say
Change with time and age
so this seems to clearly be referring to feelings changing - though not necessarily in a bad way, maybe just maturing and growing together and changing as people, as in the infatuation is gone and you love each other differently than you did when you first got together but there’s still so much unconditional love there it’s just a different (like a more serious or maybe even a deeper) kind of love, or could be referring to friendships (whether between him and the boys or other people from his personal life) and those friendships changing or even fading with time, or even feelings about a situation changing over time; it could also be taken a bit more literally too of course as well and have a negative meaning as in we don’t love each other anymore/don’t feel the same way about each other anymore/aren’t as close anymore (again whether between friends or a romantic partner, or even not feeling the same way about a situation anymore, etc.), it’s all up to interpretation i guess and how you choose to see it but i think it can be thought of in lots of different ways
for the names thing i think this can also have multiple meanings, like maybe it could be referring to names he and liam and/or the boys call each other (friendly nick names, pet names as a couple, etc.) and/or the names they’re made to mention/promo in interviews, like how some periods we would get a bunch of louis and zayn mentioning each other or niall and zayn mentioning each other lilo or niam mentioning each other, etc. and then other times they’d be promo-ing other random people (like liam mentioning charlie puth every 2 seconds for a while, etc.)
[fyi i’ll be skipping over any repeating refrains/verses since there’s no real need to re-hash things over again or take up unnecessary space with lines that have already been talked about]
So I
I don't wanna say what's scripted
Whether you are or aren't with it
I know what I need
'Cause I
I don't wanna say what's scripted
Whether you are or aren't with it
I know what I need
this part i think is pretty obvious (and i think a lot of people agree) that it’s most likely referring to having to say scripted lines in interviews and things of that sort and that’s why he avoids it so much, he doesn’t wanna be forced or used to sell the narratives they want him to sell and say the company lines they want him to say, he “knows what he needs” and that’s to stay away as much as he can from engaging in all the bs
but again i think it could also have a double meaning in that he maybe doesn’t wanna say or do generic things either and this can be in regards to life in general or more specifically with his romantic partner, like he doesn’t wanna say or do what he’s expected to say/do, he wants to be different and to do things differently/do things in his own unique way (in life in general, but also maybe in his relationship like finding other ways to say “i love you” or to show his love, finding other ways to be together that don’t necessarily follow “traditional” paths which also could be a nod them being in a [conventionally-speaking] “untraditional” relationship, which a lot of people would consider a same-sex interracial interfaith relationship between two huge self-proclaimed dorks lmao to be)
i think it’s important to note that he also includes a snippet of an interview shortly after this part in which he talks about sex not being as meaningful anymore with this generation and how that was a part of what he was trying to convey on ‘let me.’ which begs the question why? why draw attention to this specific interview (one that references ‘let me’) out of all the interviews he could’ve chosen? why draw attention back to such a romantic song (and to the idea of meaningful sex and meaningful relationships) in the middle of this dark part of the album that seems to (imo) mostly be about the negative sides of the industry? we’ll get back to my theory on that in a moment but in the meantime…
there’s also the fact that the melody of song is very somber through most of the song and i think that’s intentional because it kind of serves to evoke the pain and sadness he feels over his situation and i think he wants the listeners to feel and understand that as well and to understand why, to understand all the little things about his whole situation that make him so sad and the main thing seems to be that he has to “say what’s scripted” when he doesn’t want to and isn’t truly allowed to be himself or say or do what he wants as much as he would like. BUT—here’s where we get back to my theory on why he suddenly calls our attention back to such a romantic song and to the idea of meaningful relationships
not long after this point in the song (after the chorus repeats again) the melody suddenly changes, all of a sudden it feels less somber (at least to me), i would almost even characterize it as kind of tentatively hopeful/tentatively optimistic if i had to put a label on it, my theory is that he’s setting for the stage for what comes next, getting us ready for a change in tune (literally but also figuratively as in a change in theme) and then we get this
You'd still remember my eyes
Even if the Men In Black flashed
Their light into your eyes
For the second time this night
It feels right when it's, only you and I
so this seems to be a nod to a huge recurring theme on this album which is this idea of always remembering each other/always being fated to find each other (through space and time and making it together through all kinds of obstacles, etc.)—aka SOUL MATES—which so many songs on this album seem to reference over and over and over again…and which as an aside always reminds me of that moment in an interview (sorry i tried but i couldn’t find a link to it) where i think they’re talking about what would have happened in an alternative universe/timeline if they hadn’t gone on txf and weren’t famous or something like that and zayn says he’s not sure if he would’ve met liam cause “i don’t tend to do much in me own time” and liam’s like “but you might have” and zayn’s like “yeah but maybe” not and Liam Not Having Any of It Payne insists “but then again you might have”
but anyway all that to say that i think it’s clear by this recurring theme that zayn’s definitely since come around to the idea lol and has even adopted him for himself and decided to make into a running theme on the album and not only that but clearly he’s come to believe that the romantic partner (i.e. liam) he keeps alluding to in so many songs on the “icarus” side is his soulmate and they can make it through anything
[but again, as with a lot of the other lines in this song (and on this album in general) i think there’s a small chance this verse could also be have a double meaning as well, possibly as a reference to the fans and how mgmt/1dhq has repeatedly tried to basically do a madagasar penguins ‘you didn’t see anything’ move on us and act like the shit we know we saw never happened by panic-deleting videos and releasing bs articles and manipulating the boys’ twitters; it’s a rather flimsy theory i know, esp given that all the other lines surrounding it suggest that it’s more likely in reference to a personal relationship than a more general reference that could be applied to fans but it’s just something that’s been in the back of my mind ever since i first heard the song so just putting it out there]
Oh, you and I
Oh, you and I
Oh, you and I
Oh, you and I
do i even need to say anything about this?
he repeats it five times which…interesting number first off 😏 (and also separates out the other four from the first one which again - interesting)…but also makes it pretty evident that this is a line that’s being very much emphasized, that has serious meaning, that he wants you to pay attention to, that much is obvious not only in the repetition but the fact that it deviates from the composition of the rest of the song - the music changes/falls away to just a very simple (piano?) melody and beat, the focus is mostly on just his voice and it’s the ever enigmatic “you” that he’s singing to (that also seems to be a running theme on both albums, as he often—not necessarily always but often—seems to differentiate between this “you” and other people/pronouns/things referred to in his songs) in a slightly sped up but very similar style to the style of the harmonies in you & i, a song in which he had very notable harmonies with liam (that’s possibly regarded as the most unequivocal ziam song) that they often romantically and openly serenaded each other with (like specifically turned to each other just to sing to each other), that liam said was his favorite song off the midnight memories album, that liam got a line from (“i figured it out”) permanently tattooed on his arm right below the feather that was widely believed to be the missing feather from zayn’s then chest tattoo (and which many believed being with zayn was the “thing” he figured out), a song that liam cried during the first few times they performed it without zayn, and a song that’s about nothing be able to come between two soulmates people in love who are destined to be together and that clearly had a lot of special meaning to them both (and that the fandom knows and that i’m sure they also know is widely regarded as a ziam song because as liam said on many occasions they see what we say about them, they know what goes on and what we think about the stuff they do/say) - all of that leads me to believe that this was a calculated and very obvious/deliberate move by zayn to emphasize this part in the song so clearly, a [huge] red herring if you will, and i would argue that it has even more significance not only just because of all that’s mentioned above but also because of the fact that he chose to include these lines in a song on the “falls” side of the album, the side that’s supposed to be the more negative/dark side (and the side that i believe is largely representative of his feelings and experience with fame and the entertainment industry). which to me suggests that the overarching message that he’s trying to get across/convey with this song is basically that everything may be shit with how things are being run and the stuff he (and the other boys) are made to do and say but he’s always gonna go his own way and regardless of what gets thrown at them he and liam (and the rest of ot5) are gonna make it through together
#asks#anons#scripted#my thoughts#i hope this makes some amount of sense to some people#and doesn't come off just as just an incoherent mess#and all over the place nonsensical ramblings lol
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11 Questions Tag
I was tagged by the lovely @reininginthefirewriting, thanks hon! 💖
Tagging (feel free to ignore) @halrose @tentelltales @relevy @writerightmegpie to answer the same questions!
1. How long have you been writing? I started writing when I was 7, so I’ve been on and off for 13 years!
2. What are the major themes of your current WIP(s)? Freedom/individuality, obsession, subjective morality, death, love... understanding/what it means to be understood.
3. What do you want people to take away from your story once they’ve read it? I don’t really... concern myself with take-aways? If my readers finish my books and spend any amount of time chewing on the complexity of the subjects and themes I write about... that’s all I can ask.
4. Would you be excited if people wrote fanfiction about your WIPs? YES. Yes, yes, yes!!! I’ve written a lot of fanfiction in the past and for someone to put in enough dedication to write fanfiction for something I created... That’s like, a fever dream, I can’t even comprehend it. The only problem is I’d want to read it and I couldn’t asdfghjkl
5. What’s your go-to writing beverage? Coffee with lots of cream, and/or a can of sparkling water!
6. Who is your favorite OC? i-i uh, love them equally like any good parent I love, love, love León. I see so much of myself in him--he’s definitely developed on his own and is far from a self-insert, but he’s kind of cycled around to share a lot of things with me that I didn’t intend. He’s also got a lot of things in his own head that he’s tried to keep on lockdown, but there’s a lot of self-destructive elements to him, and that puts him on this precipice and it’s super fascinating to watch what happens when you give him a little shove.
7. Do you feel mistakes are important learning tools in the writing journey? For sure! Mistakes are important in every journey, and you don’t stop making them just because you’ve journeying for a while, either (although theoretically the mistakes you make shouldn’t be the same ones over again lol)! I make mistakes all the time, but they’re different mistakes (or at least fewer) than the ones I made when I was, say, 11.
8. Rank your OCs by their capability in a foot chase (either running from or after something, your choice).
LMAO. Okay uh starting with fastest:
Benjie
Seven
Violeta
León
Ana
Vicente
Sylvia
Eliza
9. Does your WIP have romance? Tell us about it! If not, tell us about an important friendship/relationship/dynamic! Yes! The romance between Vicente and León is central to the story--they’re able to meet and interact with each other on a lot of levels that most people couldn’t. They’re both kind of coy about their crimes and engage in a lot of wordplay, and they’re both very immoral, and their traumas have a lot of overlap. But their relationship hits on so many levels that it allows them to reveal a lot that they wouldn’t otherwise, and it loops back around to León’s self-destructiveness.
10. Do you believe in the advice kill your darlings? Mm... like all advice, it has a time and a place, and that place is not universal. I, personally, am not a huge fan of it, but I also generally don’t prefer writing/stories that are too lean and I’m sure that’s related.
11. Do you prefer plotting or worldbuilding? Why? Worldbuilding, for sure! I’m not very good at plotting--I almost never follow any plotting I do in advance, so it usually just stresses me out and I’m at the point where I almost skip over the plotting stage entirely--but worldbuilding is so, so much fun. I love creating new places and cultures and systems, and doing research to incorporate realistic aspects, and I have so much fun with slipping small pieces of that work into my stories.
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odds please! for ask thing
1. How do you define your sexuality?i’m bisexual, i also identify as queer3. At what age did you first suspect that you are sexually attracted to other girls?first started realizing i “like like” girls instead of just “like” at 15 I believe?5. Did you have an “aha I like girls” moment or was it more of a gradual realization?gradual realization, i had a whole lot of female actresses and musicians i really admired and then realized i was also attracted to them. then i kinda brushed that aside for a while, thinking that my celeb crushes didn’t count as real crushes, before i also got crushes on girls i knew irl which made me realize i definitely wasn’t straight7. How did you become comfortable with your sexuality?reading posts by bi bloggers on here helped a whole lot, they made me realize that i didn’t have to fit a narrow definition to be “allowed” to call myself bisexual. and as someone who grew up in a conservative environment, i probably wouldn’t have discovered my sexuality when i did without tumblr since i’d never been told before that it was ok to not be straight, and i thank the internet for showing me there are other ways to live life
9. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it?it was by text message to a male friend who was the only other bi person i really knew at the time. he was super supportive and we haven’t talked in a while but i’d love to catch up with him someday11. How out are you?out to friends and two family members, but closeted to most of my family. which means i can be gay on tumblr and twitter but not instagram and facebook. funny how that happens13. Was anyone surprised when you came out or did people seem to already know?a few people have been surprised, but these days when i meet someone new i prefer to casually mention my sexuality rather than do a real “coming out” and i don’t normally get any reaction from that15. How soon after meeting someone do you usually tell them about your sexuality?like the last answer, if i feel like i can trust them i’ll just try to slip it into conversation. i don’t have a timeline for when i do it though, it’s just whenever i feel ok doing it17. Have you ever wished you were completely straight?not so much that as just wishing my sexuality could be not a big deal. i’d love to be out to everyone but i know it would cause problems in a lot of my family relationships19. If you are not a lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other girls?i gave up using percentages a while ago but i’m attracted to men and women about the same amount overall21. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peek or stare at a cute girl?only all the time because girls are Too Cute to not do that
23. What is your current relationship status?
single af
25. Do you remember anything about the first time you kissed another girl?i’ve kissed one person and she was nonbinary, we were hanging out in her dorm common room when she went for a kiss on the cheek and i was like “well we might as well do one on the lips too”27. What is your ideal first date?wherever we go i want us to be having fun! i love going out for food or drinks but if we don’t have a connection then it’s just us staring at our plates so there’s always that risk of it being too awkward. i’d love for us to try something new where we can talk and laugh while getting to know each other29. How flirty are you?i’m the certified worst at flirting. i’m trying to be more confident but my idea of flirting right now is staring across the room31 Do you want have children someday?no but i want to volunteer with children someday and do something to help make their lives better33. How often are you asked if you have a boyfriend?not often, i think my family is used to me saying no by now lmao35. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend?nope (see above, single af)37. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?nope39. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? Have you?nope and nope41. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl?oh yes43. Would you ever date a trans woman?absolutely45. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover?
a wendy’s parking lot in upstate new york
somewhere where you can meet people who have a common interest, like a bookstore or a dance class or an lgbt event. but the romantic in me wants to believe that the love of my life could be found anywhere
47. Have you ever cut your hair super short? If not, would you ever want to?have not but would love to! even if i don’t like it i want to be able to say i tried it49. What is your opinion on septum/bull nose piercings?don’t want one for myself, but i think they’re cute51. How muscular are you?not very53. Have you ever been told that you don’t look gay, or that you’re too pretty to be gay?
hasn’t happened to me
55. Do you wear skirts and dresses? If so, how often?i may not consider myself very feminine but i do love how skirts and dresses look on me. so like once or twice a week on average?57. How much jewelry do you typically wear?i go without it a lot but i like wearing a piece of statement jewelry when i think an outfit needs it59. How often do you wear a bra?almost always when i go out, but home is a No Bra Zone61. Have you ever worn a suit?nope but i’d try it!63. Do you carry a purse?yep, i find it convenient to have all my stuff with me65. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing?because of my body shape finding men’s clothes that fit well is Hard but i’ve worn men’s shirts on occasion67. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend?
no but i like this idea so cute girls who are my size please hmu
69. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity?my faves include freddie mercury, janelle monae, st. vincent, and lady gaga71. Have you ever watched Will & Grace?nope73. How well do you feel LGBT women are portrayed on television?i’d like for us to survive to the end of the show for one thing. and not be overly sexualized. i’m glad that we’re seeing more positive and happy depictions like on b99 but we could always use more75. Do you watch any LGBT YouTubers?tbh i don’t really follow any youtubers77. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed blog or website?i follow a lot of gay blogs on here, too many to choose a favorite. and i really like autostraddle.com79. Have you read any LGBT themed literature? If so, do you have any recommendations?
i really need to start reading more lgbt lit, but shoutout to the misfits by james howe which was the first time i ever encountered gay characters in literature. i think it’s important that that book showed a gay boy who was unashamed about liking feminine things and had friends who supported him. i know my young mind was opened a little after i read it. and now that i’m looking it up again it turns out the author is gay which makes it even better!
81. Boobs or butts?Certified Boob Lover (tm)83. Ellen or Portia?
probs ellen
85. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club?no but there’s a gay club that’s popular w people at my school that is on my list! 87. Do you have any LGBT relatives?my sister, no others that i know of89. How outdoorsy are you?i’m definitely more outdoorsy than i used to be! i’ve learned to enjoy a bit of hiking, kayaking, and exploring but i still don’t do well with heat and bugs lol91. How many rainbow items do you own?one rainbow rubber bracelet, and a couple of bi pride items93. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence?no, as far as i know it was never a big thing at my school? i knew one or two people who did it95. Have you ever attended a PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meeting?no, i’m kinda curious about what a meeting would be like tho97. Have you ever been part of a softball team?nope99. Do you play any video games?
well i used to be a hardcore nintendogs player back in the day
101. (on a scale of 1-10, how attractive are...) Women who wear glasses?glasses on girls are GR8 - 10/10103. Women who are covered with piercings?kinda neutral on this, i support women getting the piercings they want but "covered with piercings” isn’t really something i look for in a person - 6/10105. Women with short hair?if you have short hair i am guaranteed gay for you - 10/10107. Tall women (i.e. around 1.83 meters/6 feet or taller)?
*wearing a shirt that says I
109. What does equality mean to you?to me it means i’m treated the same as anyone else and i have all the same opportunites111. Do you eat meat at all?yes113. How do you feel about the terms “woman crush” and “girl crush”?i find them harmful to girls trying to figure out their sexuality bc the implication of a “girl crush” is that all women have crushes on women and that it shouldn’t be taken as serious attraction. that being said i think a not-insignificant amount of women who say stuff like that just haven’t realized yet that they are attracted to women (i was one of them whoops) and i hope we can find ways to talk about the “girl crush” problem that leave room for questioning people to talk about their feelings115. How do you feel when people use the word gay to mean things such as stupid, dumb, boring, or idiotic?i hardly ever hear it anymore but i don’t like it117. What are your views on gender identity and bathroom use?everyone should be able to use the bathroom that they feel safest and most comfortable in, gender neutral bathrooms need to be everywhere, and any lawmakers who want to get in the way of that can fuck outta here119. Have you ever been called a gay slur?nope121. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality or gender identity? If so, please explain.not like, personally, but the number of people who have said in my presence that they “don’t believe” in bisexuality is Too High123. Americans: How did you feel on June 26, 2015?it was really incredible, i’d been watching as state by state (including my own) had legalized same-sex marriage and suddenly it was all across america. seeing all the love and happiness being poured out on that day was amazing125. Have you ever tried to “pray the gay away”?luckily i’ve never been there, but it breaks my heart to think about people going through that127. What LGBT stereotype do you most disagree with?"bi women are just doing it for male attention” excuse you i’m clearly doing it in the hopes that jenna coleman will fly to the states and elope with me get your facts right129. What advice would you give to a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality?
take your time! you don’t have to 100% understand your feelings but please let yourself feel what you feel and remember you are not alone. and i want to be here for questioning girls the same way that other people were there for me when i was questioning so if you need someone to talk to i am always here.
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11(33) Questions meme
So I got tagged by @writsgrimmyblog quite a while ago, and didn’t get around to answering it since I was travelling, so got further tagged by @dictacontrion and @huldrejenta. So this is very long. Hence the cut thing.
RULES:
- Always post the rules
- Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you
- Write 11 questions of your own
- Tag 11 people (or however many you want)
As for my questions, I’m tagging @eidheann, @dracogotgame, @capipuff, @awesomedig, @comingupwithusernamesishard, @noeeon, @i-didnt-wanna-do-it, @firethesound and then if you guys who tagged me wants to do my questions too, I wouldn’t mind readig your answers :D
@writsgrimmyblog asked:
1. What’s your favourite quote from a book or poem? I'm not the best at picking out quotes and I've never been big on poetry, but Kate Tempest has some texts that really digs into my soul. Seeing her at the third biggest stage at Glastonbury, a spoken word artist drawing such a crowd - was pretty powerful. So I chose this quote from her 'Tunnel Vision':
"The myth of the individual has left us disconnected, lost, and pitiful" (which sounds a bit bleak, but the whole poem/album is really powerful, and it ends on a sort of hopeful note.)
2. What song makes you want to dance like nobody’s watching? I only ever dance like nobody's watching :D latest to Pumarosa at their set at Glastonbury, and then to some pretty heavy techno waiting for Josefin Örn's set at the Glade. While I don't listen to it much on my own, nothing really makes me let loose and not give a shit like hard electronic music does wrt dancing.
3. What’s your favourite ship to read? Currently Larry. Fic wise it's such a varied pairing to read - covering so many themes and settings - so I never manage to get tired of it. I also really love Tomlinshaw, but Drarry is always in my heart - my first and deepest fandom love.
4. If you could own one item of clothing belonging to any celebrity what would you pick and why? Umm, is it weird to be in a celeb related fandom and say that I don't really pay that much attention to celebrities? I guess in the sense of overall style I usually like Kristen Stewart's choices and I'd probably be more than happy to wear her wardrobe at all times. But for a single item I'd probably go for one of Harry Styles's lush and luxurious and ridiculously expensive floral blouses and pair it with a pair of high waisted skinny jeans and my brogues.
5. Gif with a hard or soft ‘g’? Well, as I usually pronounce file formats in Norwegian, the hard g is the only one that makes sense. I suppose we do have a version of soft g too, but that would make it yif, and that just sounds weird. So hard g it is!
6. What’s your favourite fanfic ‘getting together’ trope? Hmm, does coming to terms with one's sexuality count as a getting together trope? That always hits me really hard and feels very emotional. Otherwise I guess friends to lovers and enemies to lovers, with loads of pining and ust.
7. What’s your guiltiest pleasure? I'm not sure I actually have a really guilty pleasure? I used to watch a lot of Americas next top model, just because I loved seeing the process with the photo shoots, so maybe that's a little guilty with regards to how the modelling and fashion industry perpetuates some very unhealthy things.
8. Most relatable 1D (or solo 1D) lyric?
“If tomorrow you won’t be mine, won’t you give it to me one last time” JK LMAO but no one can convince me that song isn’t fucking hilarious.
For real though, I’m more of a melody than lyrics kind of gal, so I’m not entirely sure? Maybe this one, for good luck, since I’m making some changes in my life (also bonus since they are Louis’ lines :D):
“I think I'm gonna win this time,
Riding on the wind and I won't give up,
I think I'm gonna win this time,
I roll and I roll, 'til I change my luck,
I roll and I roll, 'til I change my luck”
9. If you could give one piece of advice to a celebrity, what would it be? I don't necessarily feel like I have any good basis for giving advice to celebs, but I guess just remembering to keep a healthy perspective towards the world, and to use their platform for good. Their participation in politics and activism could do more good than I think a lot of them realise. (But stay informed and think before you speak.)
10. Tell me your favourite joke.
You know, I literally can’t think of a single joke. I guess I could search for some, but that would sort of belie the point.
11. If you were famous for a day, what question would you most dread being asked during an interview? I think anything related to diet/workout routine/keeping my body in shape would make me feel really uncomfortable and objectified.
@dictacontrion's questions:
1. If you could have one billion dollars or the not (or only incidentally) profitable superpower of your choosing, which would you choose and why? As my big dream/my favourite thing to do is travelling and seeing the world, my chosen superpower would probably be teleportation. BUT teleportation would still leave me with the issue of spending money and getting days off work (unless I used the teleportation for criminal purposes I guess). So I think I'd go for the billion dollars, which not only would enable me to travel as much and however I'd like, but is such a ridiculous amount of money that maybe I could use it to do some good in the world.
2. What article of clothing makes you feel most awesome? The way I dress is incredibly dependent on my mood, but I guess maybe my denim shorts? Mostly because of the setting in which I would wear them. I love the feeling of warm air and sun on bare skin more than practically anything, so the few occasions where I'm able to wear my denim shorts I feel happy and awesome from the get-go :)
3. How did you get into your most recent fandom? That must be the 1d fandom, so long story short: a 1d fanfic based m/m novel tickled my curiousity, Harry's 'not that important' even more so. Got recommended the fantastic gryles fic “If this is love” by sunsetmog which I read and adored, and diving deeper into sunsemog’s fics I then read “I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow” which till this day still stands as one of my fave ever fics. Then followed some arbitrary tumblr searching and blog following, and in time the rabbit hole that is Larry swallowed me hole and has failed to spit me back out.
4. What’s your least favorite/most hated book, and why? I’m terribly impatient, so I don’t really finish stuff I don’t like? So I don’t really have that passionate bad feelings about any one book I’ve read. Read some 1800s Norwegian realism/naturalism literature in high school which at the time felt like a drag, but in hindsight I’m very happy I read. Moby Dick annoyed the hell out of me, and I gave up halfway through, but I still don’t hate it, I don’t think. So I don’t really know *shrugs*
5. Describe a fanwork you’d love to read/see/watch, but don’t want to create yourself, please? Ummm, a long and plotty Ginny/Luna fic maybe. I’d love to read more femslash, but the fics I’ve seen out there are usually just little ficlet. And nothing against a good ficlet, but I’m longing to dive deep into a long and immersive wlw story. (Incidentally, if anyone have any such recs, be it fanfic or original fiction, I’d be happy to hear about it!)
6. What would be the lineup of your ideal music festival? Ahhhh this is simultaneously the hardest and the best possible question for me!! Okayyy: Grimes, Years & Years, One Direction (ofc), Pumarosa, Arctic Monkeys, Lianne La Havas, Shura, The Shins, Loyle Carner, Wolf Alice, Ezra Furman, Lady Gaga and Rihanna (the two of whom I don't listen to much, but I think they'd bring some amazing pop flair), the Kills, Chvrches, All We Are, Warpaint, Tame Impala, Susanne Sundfør, Amason and then Katzenjammer for some fun nostalgia, ohh and Kate Tempest! and Charli XCX was a lot of fun and I wouldn’t mind seeing her again. ummm okay and then a club line-up for after hours with AlunaGeorge, Disclosure, Hot Chip, Roger Sanchez, Röksopp ft Robyn, Christine Dancke and Nick Grimshaw because why not ;) (And now I’ll probably go on to regret everyone I forgot to add)
7. You’re given the power to unilaterally create one law or policy in one country - what is it? To nationalise all natural resources so their riches would benefit the people rather than a few rich private business owners and multinational corporations who are often not even based locally.
8. If you had to commit to living in one place for the rest of your life, what would it be? Part of me wants to say London, but I think realistically I'll have to choose Bergen (in Norway)<3
9. Thinking about your life a year from now, what’s one thing that you hope will be different? I hope I’m no longer in this limbo between life phases and will have got to implement the changes I’m going for properly.
10. What’s one thing that you hope will be the same?
My relationship.
11. What’s the last thing that made you laugh?
Was out with some friends for beers last night, which included many laughs, but I can’t remember what in particular that made me laugh. I hang out with these people way to rarely. They’re such great people, and hanging out with them feels so relaxed.
And last but not least, @huldrejenta‘s questions:
1. What was your favourite album as a teenager?
Depends on when you asked me. If I was 13, probably “The Eminem Show”, but as a 17-year old, most definitely Arctic Monkeys’ “Whatever People Say I Am That’s What I’m Not” (which still stands as one of my all time favourites)
2. What’s your favourite album now?
Pumarosa – “The Witch” – fantastic album, which I wholeheartedly recommend.
3. One pairing you’d love to have more fanfic/art about?
As mentioned above, Ginny/Luna. But also more femslash in general would be pretty fantastic.
4. What’s your favourite villain in books and/or movies?
I’m not a villain kind of lady, but maybe Umbridge? I don’t think anyone has ever given me as bad feelings as her, because she’s such a realistic villain in a lot of ways. She’s not caricature evil like Voldy or Sauron, but an everyday, self-involved, closed minded evil. And that’s a very effective kind of evil to hate.
5. Do you believe in supernatural phenomenons? No
6. You can have dinner with any person from history, who would you choose? This is kind of an impossible question. So many interesting persons through history. But, actually, I think I’d really have loved to have met my grandfather on my father’s side. My dad is quite old, so his dad was born in the late 1800s and died long before I was born, but he was a teacher and from the sound of it, incredibly foresighted and modern for a man of that time. Which are values he’s very much passed on to his sons. My dad is amazing. My grandfather was a teacher, and during the Nazi occupation of Norway during WW2, he was among those who lost their jobs because he refused to teach nazi ideology to his pupils. And this was in a small, working class industry town, and my dad has told so many fantastic stories about him. I’d love to have met him and talked to him.
7. Name three things you like about yourself :)
While I’m pretty shy, I’m also kind of tough in some ways. I went to Japan without much of a plan and winged it as we went. I started playing rugby at age 27. I started singing in a choir I found by googling, where I didn’t know anyone. I wish that toughness spread to other sides of my life, but at least it’s something.
I can sing, something which brings me immense joy.
I have a pretty good memory, combined with wide spanning interests and curiosity, so I remember a lot of weird facts and random things.
8. Hogwarts era Drarry, yes or no? Depends. 8th year, post war/canon, yes. Canon divergence (other than ewe), mostly no.
9. What was the last thing you googled? The lyrics for some 1d songs for one of the questions further up :P
10. Favourite Harry Potter book? Hmmmmmmmmmm I don’t know? Maybe Prisoner of Azkaban? They’ve all had very profound effects on me though, so it’s like choosing a favourite child.
11. Favourite museum/gallery? I’ve seen a lot of amazing museum during my life, so that’s kind of impossible to answer as well. But maybe, for nostalgic reasons, Bryggens Museum in Bergen. Because my dad used to take me and my sister there sometimes during weekends when we were little, when my mum needed to sleep after a night shift at the hospital. And he’d tell stories and we’d look at the archaeological spots and the seasonal exhibits, and we’d get soda and cake in the museum café.
My questions:
1. Do you have a song stuck in your head right now? Which one?
2. Do you have any plans in the foreseeable future that you’re looking forward to?
3. What’s your favourite place inside your house/flat?
4. What hobbies do you have outside of fandom?
5. Do you speak any languages besides your own?
6. What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?
7. If you could meet the leader of your country and tell them whatever you wanted, and be guaranteed they’d listen to you, what would you say?
8. What movie did you watch over and over as a child, and what was your favourite thing about it?
9. What’s your favourite thing about each season through the year?
10. If you were to get a pet tomorrow, what would you call it and why?
11. How did you discover fanfiction?
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Ask the Admins 10.0
@genosha-meiuqer: This is to Admin M -- Out of curiosity, do you drive anything like a War Boy?
M: Yes. That is actually a problem I have irl. I drive far too fast. Haven’t gotten pulled over yet though! (knock on wood)
Anon asked: Describe yourself in one adjective.
Chamomile: Talkative
M: Witty
Syren: Enthusiastic
Jynn: Resilient
Vox: Amiable
Anon asked: Do you have other sister blogs or affiliate blogs about writing? Or maybe you can rec us other writing blogs? Not that auideas is not awesome, loving this blog! Just, you know, want to follow other blog. Thanks! Loving your aus btw!
Chamomile: We have @nsfw-auideas, which has been inactive for a while since I became uncomfortable running it and the other admins sort of dropped of….but for blogs that inspire me, I always love @writing-prompt-s because they give me ideas for prompts with their prompts (if that makes sense, lmao) and also from fanfiction/fanart. I get //so// much inspiration from fanfiction/fanart.
M: Yeah we have our NSFW blog, but that’s pretty much it, and I don’t really have a lot of time at the moment to look at other blogs, so this is definitely one for the other admins to answer.
Syren: I second what Chamomile mentioned, and I also get a lot of inspiration from @inell who is a writing machine in the Sterek fandom. It's insane how many stories she churns out, and they often help me mindlessly brainstorm, if that makes any sense??
Jynn: I get a lot of inspiration from @otpprompts!
Vox: @otpprompts and @writing-prompt-s are two other really great prompt blogs! ( ≧▽≦)
Anon asked: curious about the new assistant admins. mind doing information pages for them like you did for the admins?
Chamomile: Here’s all of our pages: Chamomile // M // Syren // Jynn // Vox
Anon asked: When I'm grown, a martyr I will never be. I won't cry for you. I won't suffer for the things you do. I won't cry for you, see. Even though I understand you, Kankri.
Chamomile: this is a sin
M: get outta here
Syren: *Castiel voice* I don't understand that reference.
Jynn: I had to actually go back and find this song again for Chamomile so I just have to say how dare you make me relive that.
Vox: This ask has 6een marked as triggera6le and will 6e taken d9wn by Kankri Vantas. (ง •̀_•́)ง
Anon asked: So I know that this blog is SFW, but do you mind if I use your prompts in a NSFW story?
Chamomile: That’s totally fine! Whatever you do with our prompts is totally up to you.
M: ^^^^^
Anon asked: Have you decided what theme you'll be using? I remember a while back one of the admins asked what the followers think about the current theme.
Chamomile: Oh yeah, we got this solved a long while back. If anybody has a theme that they think is really nice and that we should try out, then send it to us!
Anon asked: What is your opinion on "Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life"?
Chamomile: get out
M: leeeeeeeave
Syren: I am daily surrounded by meme trash and could probably recite it perfectly if I tried. I am only slightly ashamed.
Jynn: I'll never forget it. That being said, I never want it in my presence ever again.
Vox: You scream, I scream, we all scream for Dank Memes™
Anon asked: I finally talked to my future college roommate. Accidentally ignore her email for a week tho... Not really off to a great start?
Chamomile: I can’t tell if this is a prompt or you telling us about your day but my advice would be to get her a card that’s like “I’m sorry I ignored your email for a week” and then some candy or whatever else she likes.
M: Lol man that did not happen with my current roommate - we actually sent each other our first introductory emails at the exact same moment even though I was across the country. Thankfully, we’ve clicked very well, but I would recommend not getting on their bad side right away, or that’ll make your year not so much fun.
Syren: Dude, I am the worst person at communicating possibly ever. I have lost friends because I forget to reply to them for months, no joke. I've found the best way to make it up is to be as sincere with your apology as possible. I've learned not to make excuses. Don't sweat it!
Jynn: I'm glad you reached out to your roommate, good job! I'd go with Chamomiles card and candy idea.
Vox: -looks at the messages I have in Line that are months old- -l a u g h s- Oh honey.
Anon asked: Do you (admins and assistants) know how to make gifs? Also, how do you pronounce "gifs"? "Jifs" or "gifs".
Chamomile: I have no clue on how to make a gif, and I pronounce it like “gift” without a “t”.
M: Gifs. Hard G. I will fight you on this.
Syren: I have no clue how to make a gif, though I've been thinking about learning (barely any gifs out there for When We Rise). Hard g.
Jynn: There are tons of gif makers online, I also have an app for that. I pronounce it “Gif” with a hard G
Vox: I LOVE making gifs!! They’re super fun. Also I use both alternatively.
Anon asked: how do the admins like the new assistants? And how do the assistants like the admins?
Chamomile: I think they’re pretty great! Everybody has been really good with getting their prompts in the drafts so admin m and I can approve them. No real problems.
M: Two thumbs up from me! I can now feel more stress about my school and social life than about this darn blog...
Syren: They're all generally fabulous people and make me feel welcomed. I'm the youngest of the bunch, but that doesn't change anything. Also, I have a habit for apologizing for everything, and they always assure me that it's all good and that they've all been there.
Jynn: Chamomile, Em, and I have actually all been friends for upwards of a couple years now, and I've contributed to the blog here and there before so it hasn't been super different for me tbh.
Vox: If I could put emojis into replies, this right here would just be a string of sparkles and hearts. Everyone’s been really nice!!
Anon asked: I haven't been on this site since forever and I just got back. Nice to see more prompts that I can add to my growing list of things I want to try writing :) (Also, "Runaway" and "So Sad, So Sad" are some of my favorite songs! :D )
Chamomile: Eeeeee! Thanks for loving the blog! Also I know right, I have some pretty good music taste if I do say so myself ;)
Anon asked: Knowing that someone else uses Japanese emoticons makes me really happy. ＼＼\ (۶ÒワÒ)۶//／／ Where do you get yours from, Vox? An app, website, or other?
Vox: Yaaaaa, kaomoji are super funnnnn!! ☆⌒(*＾-°)v I have a Japanese keyboard on my phone so I automatically have a bunch of them readily available.
Anon asked: Choose five of the blog's followers that you've talked to a fair amount and say what story genre you think they would be a character in, and if they would be a protag or antag.
Chamomile: Instead of choosing just five, I went with all of them. Here’s the link
M: I willllllll do this over break - expect a post on my admin blog!
Anon asked: If life was a standardized test, you would be "Answer B" because I always turn to you when I don't know what to do.
Chamomile:....that’s actually really sweet?
M: Omfg.
Syren: This would be really cute if the thought of standardized tests didn't throw me into a panic over upcoming midterms, SATs, and ACTs
Jynn: Awwwwww!
Vox: I’m in various stages of oh god and that’s so sweet and lol my name is actually Bee so this is kind of great, are you flirting with me anon, winkwink. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Anon asked: What do you call a flirty Greek? A Socratease
Chamomile: The King of flirty Greeks is Mithridatetease (Mithridates)
M: Get out.
Syren: As long as they don't have an Oedipus complex, they can tease all they want
Jynn: More like MithriDATEs
Vox: Has war flashbacks to Greek myth lectures. Sweats nervously.
@all-made-of-stardust asked: So I love your blog, and I especially love all your Never Book quotes. I was wondering - what's your policy on using those quotes? Can I directly use the whole quote? Should I change it a bit? Should I not use it at all? There's several quotes I have been thinking about using, and I just wanted to make sure I was doing it right.
Chamomile: hey there! This is a pretty popular question, but our policy is that you can change it however you want (adding in words, changing pronouns, etc.) but don’t repost it anywhere without crediting us. Cutting our parts is also totally fine. If you write something inspired by TNB, or has a TNB quote in it, make sure to shoot us a message and we’ll make sure to add it to the follower’s works page!
@ihaveatheoryabouttimetravel asked: What exactly is the never book?
Chamomile: Hey! I’m the creator of The Never Book (TNB) and here’s the long version of how/why I created it (link), but the short version is that TNB is supposed to be a collection of writing prompts to help inspire you to write. Some of them are very dramatic, while other ones are humorous, and other ones are meant to be cliffhangers that make you want to write what happens next. The name “The Never Book” is supposed to imply that all of these quotes come from a story that has never been written, meaning that they’re free game for prompts as well as to make stories out of.
Note: I’ve entertained the idea of trying to write a piece of fiction with a ton of TNB quotes crammed into it. Might try to get around to that if anybody is interested.
Anon asked: Is it okay to Writer's Block shame a friend who has an almost complete first chapter for 57 different fanfiction pieces???
Chamomile: #me
M: Shame us all
Syren: I'm too fragile to be bombarded like this
Jynn: I'm being called out.
Vox: First of all how dare, it’s only 56. (ง •̀_•́)ง
anon asked: tbh between chamomile and m i really thought that chamomile was younger. i have been surprised but not unpleasantly so
Chamomile: I’m definitely shorter and rounder than admin m, but I’m older by like, a year and a half? Something like that?
M: I am the alpha.
anon asked: assistant admins, what’s your favorite ice cream flavor?
Syren: Blue Moon (it's an upper Midwest thing I guess)
Jynn: Chocolate
Vox: Mint chocolate chip
#admin m#admin chamomile#admin syren#admin jynn#admin vox#ask the admins#ata#faq#this has been a public broadcast#long post
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