#my anxiety is revving up again
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— BSF BIKER!SIMON
cw: simon riley x female reader, biker!simon, v slight smut at the very end but not fully, simon is possessive and jealous (meow) ((i will eat him)), also the way reader yearns for him is so real, likes she’s me — inspo post
NSFW ✩ MINORS DNI (18+ ONLY)
GENERAL MASTERLIST
You heard Simon before you saw him, well you heard his bike. The loud revving of the engine, growing louder and more frequent the longer it took for you to come out of the restaurant. Your heels clacked loudly behind you, your steps quickening as you sent your date another apologetic smile.
Fifteen minutes prior, Simon had texted you, telling you he needed you. You had been unable to text back, not wanting to seem rude, but your date sent you an understanding smile as you picked up your phone after the constant buzzing.
Your eyes quickly skimming the messages and anxiety embedded into your stomach the more frantic Simon’s messages got.
You’re out right now?
Who are you with?
I need to see you.
I’m going to get you.
I’m on my way.
You felt your heart lurch in your throat as you checked his location. He was only about four minutes out and your fingers prickled with nerves.
The soft voice of the man across the table from you brought you out of your spiral. “Everything alright?”
You forced a smile onto your face, nodding, “A friend of mine-”
The loud roar of the motorcycle had you tensing, standing up quickly as you looked towards the entrance of the nice restaurant, “I-I’ll be right back, I’m sorry-”
You didn’t give him a chance to respond, bolting towards the door.
You nearly tripped over your heels as you tried to get to Simon faster, the words leaving you in an exasperated breath, “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
You couldn't get the words out fast enough, your brows pinching as you looked over him, looking for anything that looked wrong but everything seemed fine.
Your brows furrowing together further as he barked out a laugh, even with his visor on you could feel the way his eyes were skimming over your body. “Why d’nt you ever wear anything like this when we go out?”
“Simon-”
“Get on.”
“What?”
His thick fingers reached out to gently cup your elbow, pulling you closer to him as his fingers softly rubbed across your exposed skin, distracting you. “Come on, let’s go.”
“I’m on a date.”
His fingers stilled on your arm, and even though you couldn’t see his face, you knew he was frowning. You felt the nerves wrapping around your throat at his silence. That silly part of you that longed for him wanted to soothe him, and you inched closer.
His fingers dropped from your elbow and you instantly missed the warmth, your fingers moved and popped his visor open.
His eyes were darker than normal, upset, and warmth licked at your belly. You hated that he could do this to you, that he could warrant such reactions from you with just one look.
“Get on.” This time, his tone was anything but playful. Just a thick growl as he handed you the helmet that was reserved just for you.
“I can’t!”
“I will go in there myself and tell him you’re gonna be busy for the rest of the night.”
You suppressed the whimper that wanted to fall from your mouth, arousal pooling between your thighs as you tried so desperately not to cave.
But his eyes softened, his gloved fingers inching closer and tangling with yours as he pulled you into him, “C’mon, love. I got a view I’ve been wanting to show you.”
You barely registered that you had agreed, only when he was helping you into your helmet and then your thighs were spread wide to cage around his legs. Your palms flat against his abdomen as you held on close.
And you should’ve felt guilty when he revved his bike again, as if showing off, but you didn’t. You couldn’t. Not when his gloved fingers gently squeezed your knee and he was off before you could think too much about what you were doing to that poor man that was waiting for you at the restaurant.
The two of you drove for what felt like hours, the cold nip of the wind on your skin felt surprisingly mild with your body pressed flush against his.
He smelled so good, like cedar and musk, and cigarettes. So incredibly Simon, and you inched even closer to him. Your fingers gently rubbed against his stomach as he drove faster and faster.
When you finally arrived at the view, Simon helped you off the bike, laughing quietly as you huffed about how your heels were gonna get ruined. Both of your helmets came off and you tried to fix your hair as best you could.
A soft noise of surprise left your mouth as he scooped you up, sitting you back firmly against the seat of his bike.
“No ruined heels on my account.”
The air around the two of you felt different, as if the two of you were just silently orbiting around the other until one decided to veer off course and crash.
His fingers didn’t move from your hips as he towered over you, “What are you doing, Simon?”
Rough fingers gently dipped into your waistband, softly gliding against the lacy material against your hip. “Jus’ wanna be close to you.”
Your breath hitched staring up at him, his lashes kissing his cheeks as he stared down at your lips. Your heart thrummed wildly in your chest, your body feeling alight with desire and warmth.
The two of you had always toed on something that was more than friendship, but it had never felt like this. It had never been so glaringly obvious. His head dipped down and his lips ghosted over your own. Barely touching. Waiting.
When you didn’t back away, his lips were on yours the next instant. They were plump and softer than you could've ever imagined. His fingers digging into your hips as his mouth pressed firmly to yours. His tongue prying your lips open and familiarizing the feel with his tongue.
Your hands were everywhere, you didn't know where to touch him. They were first fisting at his shirt, then gripping the taut muscles on his arms, then tugging at his hair. He brought your hips towards the edge of his bike and pressed himself flush against you. Slowly grinding as his mouth moved down to your neck, nipping and kissing. Licking down the column of your throat as he pulled out desperate noises from your swollen lips.
His finger made its way into the waistband of your skirt, bunching up the material at your hips. His eyes focused on the pretty black lace that covered you from him, a deep growl ripping from his throat as his thumb pushed against your clit, “Hate that you wore this for him.”
Your hips bucked, and the shake of the bike under you reminded you of where you were. A soft laugh that mingled with a moan escaped you, “It’s not like you were asking to see them.”
He gave a soft pinch to your clit and you gasped, glaring up at him softly, “Thought it was pretty obvious.”
You whined as he slipped his fingers away from your cunt, his lips pressing against yours again as he mumbled, “As much as I want to take my time with you, anyone can show up.”
You felt dizzy as he turned you over, bending you over the seat of his bike. Your back arched as much as it could, feeling his hardened cock press against the swell of your ass.
“Next time.”
He pulled away and you could hear the sound of his zipper being drawn, his thick fingers pushing your panties to the side to run his cock against your messy folds.
He gave three taps to your clit before dragging the tip through your folds.
Your breath hitched as he gently pushed forward. His thick cock spearing into you. The excitement evident in his voice, “Yeah, next time.”
#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x reader smut#simon riley x female reader#call of duty#cod#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley smut#simon ghost riley x reader
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hihi srry for bothering u erm, any racer!chuuya hcs or racer!dazai hcs?
thank u for ur time
MY PRIZE MY WOMAN - n. chuuya, d. osamu
fem!reader x racer!chuuya + racer!dazai hcs in scenario format
[✦🏁]. . . quack. decided to have a go at this format again.... [chuuya is a socal street racer, dazai is a norcal professional racer]
[cws]. . . dazais is a little longer than chuuyas bc i got carried away 💀, chuuya has this noticeable heavy accent, dazai is engaged to reader and proposes to reader on their anniversary, use of profanity, MENTIONED: betting money/humans (chuuyas), lying/manipulation/gaslighting/doxxing (this is all dazai), police getting involved in chuuyas part, illegal street racing in chuuyas part (street racing is illegal in cali that's why)
.001 — CHUUYA
"LOOK IT'S CHUUYA!!!"
as the crowd cheers as loud as it can; mainly women who show up at the crack of dusk just to watch street racer!chuuya zoom down the street, far ahead of everyone else. no one knows how he does it, how he modified his car to be the exact thing most other racers fear — what seems like a regular modified car, physically a carbon copy of how the others look, is a baby that can tap the gas at extreming speeds.
when street racer!chuuya lines his car up with his opponents, he gives them a smile. no, not a smirk, a smile; mockingly knowing the deep-rooted anxiety it gives them. "give it your best shot, yeah?" is what he always tells them — questioning their retaliated aggression whenever they spit back at him, anger seething through their grit.
"damn look at that speed!"
as soon as shots are fired, street racer!chuuya's car is already down the street within seconds - more than a few miles ahead than his opponents. his baby curving sharp turns perfectly — watching in his rear view mirror how some people almost crash into bridges and buildings as they fail to slow down in time for the next sharp turn — their rage turning into his high; windows open, laughs as loud as the quake when chuuya's car races back around to the line for another lap.
street racer!chuuya who smirks at everyone's dumbfounded reaction when he crosses the line first as soon as he completes his second lap, some behind him and others not even close to finishing their first lap — giving you a wink when his car pulls up in front of you as he whistles, beckoning for you to come in.
"who the hell is that?"
"you don't know? that's his girl - [name]! they always drift together! it's an absolute must for chuuya!"
not even bothered by the stares of envy, you crouched down into his car - the door slamming behind you as your boyfriend walks to the driver's side. "buckle up, we're goin' in circles dolly," street racer!chuuya warns, opting to lean over and grab the belt himself, the metal clicking in place. shifting the gear selector, chuuya rolls his car back to make room for the other cars — everyone in their own circle, some cars already starting up 'n ready to go.
"yo, nakahara! wanna bet? you win, you get how much ever ya' want - we win, we get your girl. deal?"
"that's fine. just don't cry when you lose everythin' ."
now in drive move, engine revved, you sitting next to him - the perfect scenario; perfect motivator for him to put in everything's he's got into this competition. he couldn't lose, not with you on the line. "hold on tight doll, we're goin' fast tonight," street racer!chuuya squeezes your thigh one last time before focusing his attention back on the road — giving a subtle smirk to said man who was sticking his tongue out at you. "sweetheart yer' comin' home with me tonight!" he yells at you through the window, rolling it back up as soon as the gun goes up.
the guy cursed to hell and back, chuuya leaning against the door of his car as he waited for him to drive in from the line. "chu, you didn't have to do him dirty like that," you laugh, legs crossed on the hood of his car. "couldn't have my girl thinkin' i wouldn't put in my all — betting on the line doesn't matter — as long as it's you, i'd forever sacrifice my everything f'you," street racer!chuuya grins like a lovesick fool, his one and only being able to soften his rough exterior no matter where they're at.
when worst comes to prevail, street racer!chuuya is by no means weak. gladly fighting men, women, and kicking children out of the lots if they were messing with you. with no hesitation, he cranks his arm, getting ready to throw a punch towards the man's face. "who's sweetheart you takin' tonight? 'cause it's certainly not mine."
"shit it's the police!"
"make a fuckin' run for it everyone!!"
ah - if there was one thing that street racer!chuuya absolutely loved about the freedom of the streets, were its laws and how he breaks every single one of them. pressing on the gas, he grips the wheel, eyeing for a clearing entrance from the hundreds of scattered crazies — junkies, methies, regular people or not — they were in his way and if he needed to, he'd run them over just to get you outta there safe.
"buckled up? great - now let's get you outta here safe, darlin'," street racer!chuuya winks and taps his baby, the cars ignition getting ready to blast off as soon as he finds a clearing.
.002 — DAZAI
"and over here in the blue car, number #17 — WE HAVE, OSAMU DAZAI!!!"
as number #17 revs its engine, the black tint barely concealing his identity — professional racer!dazai tuts at the sound of light. announcing to the host to hurry its introducing and start the race already. with the signal ready, dazai grips his wheel - staring at you as a good luck omen before setting off once he heard the go.
in the relay, cars have no boundaries — beating the metal til the other explodes out of weakness. too bad explosions weren't as common as they were uncommon, professional racer!dazai did love a little chaos and fire that went off behind him as he crossed the line first in their final lap.
clashing and crashing weren't just his favorite pass times in the lobby, though. what really made professional racer!dazai's day were the checks he earned whenever he won the race; bitter and sour expression being thrown his way as he pretends to pay no mind, secretly eating up every single reaction and hatred that consumes the losers of the relay — a sadistic play, other racers like to say. well, whatever they say, goes out from one ear to another as he's paid extra to participate in special racing relays.
"we have contacted a very special guest to participate in today's race!! GUESS WHO??!"
when professional racer!dazai's car drives into the last lane, everyone is cheering and shouting; the racers banging their heads somewhere in their cars as they cursed whatever devil set them up to be racing against the osamu dazai — said devil himself grinning from ear to ear, eerily creepy as he gave them a thumbs up. "good luck! don't die before me!" he laughs one last time, sending shivers down their spines.
"no way! he cheated!! there's no way he could have won! this ain't the streets - this shit is the real deal! where us real racers race for the - !!"
"i'll take that as a compliment, thank you very much! but might i correct that i do not cheat, you are simply just too weak to be in this profession."
professional racer!dazai who's smile does not falter when he is being degraded and insulted, any indication on his face not being shown through his well trained composure. when people call bullshit, dazai calls doxxing them and everyone they love to make them retract their claims and accusations — all in the guise of an innocent facade as he plays dumb to the rumored 'dazai''s cheating curse'.
"ah! - this note from our extremely talented winner says, 'this win is dedicated to my beloved [name]!' ".
"[name]? isn't that the name of his fiance?"
"as the announcer had just said, this win, as so all my other wins - belongs to my very beautiful love, [name] dazai!" a gasp escapes from the audience, what? the, fuuuck..? since when did you guys finally tie the knot? "oh! - you guys might be wondering when we got married, but it was actually a lie! we're just friends!!! - OWWWWWWW!!!!!!!" professional racer!dazai yells in pain when the sharp end of a shoe is thrown at his head.
"we're not married yet, but we're still engaged YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!" you scream angrily, sticking your ring finger up high and proud as the crowd gasps again. getting ready to leave, a hand grabs ahold of you, twisting you back around to face your fiance. when you were about to scream at them, they pointed to the ground, "please uh - hear your about to be husband out first..?"
"my beautiful [name], will you marry me?"
finally, professional racer!dazai who was the one behind this entire race competition. all the racers, the audience, the hosts — he orchestrated it all in order to plan for this very moment; pulling strings after strings to be able to pull it off. at the same time, the racers cars pull up, all curving on the dirt outside of the relay — in the form of letters as they drift to complete a full sentence, 'Marry Me [Name]!!!'.
mouth slacked open, you stare in disbelief, walking down the bleachers that the group around you have cleared. and there, you see - your fiance - about to be husband, holding keys as a very special car pulled around him. "happy anniversary [name]," professional racer!dazai smiles softly when he sees your excited expression. "Holy shit! holy shit! holy shit! holy shit!!!" you jump, running up to dazai and bear hugging him. "exact model and color huh?" dazai laughs, handing you the keys as you nod, "perfect!" — the perfect car you've been longing for since you first laid eyes on it.
belongs to @churuai DONT STEAL >:(((
taglist (free to join!): @luvan1 @bfdazai @asqmi @squigglewigglewoo @liviash @doonifox @ishqani
other tags 🩷: @atlasnessie @xxcandlelightxx @bandshirts-andbooks
#[˚₊‧꒰ა🩰] — runi#professional racer!dazai#street racer!chuuya#idk how i feel abt this one#idk if i like it or not#erm.. i have another racer hcs for yall if you didnt like this one either😞#erm cali boys yasss#chuuya x reader#dazai x reader#chuya x reader#chuuya x you#chuuya x y/n#dazai x you#dazai x y/n#bsd x reader#bungou stray dogs x reader#[☆] — anon
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HIII cannellee!! (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈) it’s 🍓 again!! i have another super cute abo idea, could we have the tr boys with a very clumsy but cute omega who has bruises all over her legs from bumping into objects because she keeps running into things like chairs or low tables… maybe how they react seeing injuries for the first time? or how they try to “steer her away from danger”? ty for reading, i hope you have a amazing christmas!!!!!! ( ˶˘ ³˘(⋆❛ ہ ❛⋆)!♡
TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ☆
alpha! tokyo rev x omega! reader
— their reactions to a cute and clumsy s/o (pairing : mikey, mitsuya, kazutora, chifuyu, izana, kaukucho, angry, baji)
my masterlist : ☆
I reaaally love this, it's so cute! I hope I did a good job, but I'm not really proud of this one sorry. I hope you had a great Christmas too thanks<3
ALPHA! MIKEY
upon noticing your bruises and bumps all over you, mikey gets immediately concerned and harbours a deep frown when he asks you about it.
his alpha instincts command him to make sure you're well and assess the situation to know what's wrong.
when you admit it's because of how clumsy you are, he's relieved it isn't anything more serious and finds it even endearing.
of course, his protective nature doesn't take long to kick in and he's paying even more attention to your surroundings.
rather than being upset about your lack of care, he's understanding and gently inquires why that is, so he can identify the issue behind your clumsiness.
now, when you're together, he offers you his support. whenever you fall and if he hasn't prevented that before, he'll be quick to help you up on your feet, pat your head to assure you it's okay and check your knees to look for any new bruises.
he'll tease you about it, but just to lighten up the mood and show you that he doesn't view your clumsiness as a source of frustration. it is made to make you feel comfortable around him.
ALPHA! MITSUYA
mitsuya is very observing, so he did noticed your tendency to fall and trip early on.
he won't mention it to you though, he'll provide a silent support and watch you carefully.
he'll offer to do certain tasks if he thinks it might harm you. if you need to reach something which is put high in a cupboard, he grabs you by the waist before you even finish climbing and gets it for you.
he tells you to rely on him, he's your alpha and he wants you to trust him and let him act like your partner.
when you're taking a walk, he takes your hand and gently guides you, replacing you so that you don't step into a bump on the road for example.
he does everything so that you don't have to injure yourself, but if it was to happen, his reaction is quick. he'll profusely scent you to prevent any stress or anxiety troubling you and will patch you up.
you'll end up cuddling with him inside your nest!
ALPHA! KAZUTORA
now kazutora is really worried.
what do you mean his omega is getting injured on a daily basis ?
when he first saw your bruised legs during summer, he felt an immense amount of anger.
kazutora is the type to act on impulse and in his head, those were the result of some bad people with malicious intentions towards his sweet omega.
he was furious and checked for more injuries, it was a hard task to calm him down and you thought it wouldn't be possible unless you gave him a couple of innocent names (that had nothing to do with the situation, he was just so sure you were a victim of crazy alphas).
luckily, upon smelling your calm pheromones, he figured you didn't lie to him out of fear and he eventually let his guard down.
now he's even more vigilant. it actually hurts him to know you're this clumsy and it troubles his mind.
he's the type to kiss your bruises though, and act overly reassuring and protective even when you don't actually need it.
ALPHA! CHIFUYU
although stressed at first, chifuyu is quick to approach the situation with a calming demeanor.
he's soo gentle with you, he'll rush to you each time you hurt yourself and shower you with his reassuring pheromones while making sure the cut on your finger isn't too deep.
if the fall was hard he asks you if you're okay, eyes full of care, telling you soothing words to drive away any distress.
chifuyu's touch is tender and he'll softly remind to be more careful whenever he's not here because he can't assist you.
he'll try his best to create a safe space for you : his omega can't get hurt if she's under chifuyu's watchful care!
if it was really serious, he will crack a joke to lighten up your mood and distract you from the pain.
he will offer you a comfortable place to sit afterwards ; if you're out, he's bringing you snacks from the shop next to you and if it was at your place, he's tucking you inside your nest. all the smells make you instantly relax!
ALPHA! ANGRY
angry is concerned.
once he learns you're this prone to injure yourself, it's over for you.
he was already worried sick about you going outside alone, as an omega you're often a target for other alphas and people who might know you're affiliated to him.
but now? now that he knows you don't even need to go outside to be at harm's length, he's constantly trying to check up on you.
now your dates consist of you both staying at your place, watching a movie inside your nest, cuddling and playing games, overall very calming activities.
angry might overdo it, but you need to understand that his instincts are shaking now knowing his omega is jeopardizing herself.
he carries band aids everywhere with him too.
ALPHA! KAKUCHO
he is prepared and reliable.
yes, you can hurt yourself alone, it happens, but it never does in his presence.
he's careful, even if he looks focused on something else, and will prevent anything from happening to you, from the tiniest cut to the most absurd fall.
if your clumsiness appears because of stress, you can be sure his scent is always enveloping you.
he tenderly kisses your forehead and praises you whenever you successfully stop yourself from falling.
he slowly kisses your bruises and healed scars with sweet patience, you absolutely love his kind nature.
you sometimes feel guilty for the way he seems genuinely upset and apologises for not being able to look after you better.
you tell him it's okay but he feels a sense of responsibility for his omega's wellbeing. he's committed and as your alpha he has to shield you from anything hurtful.
ALPHA! IZANA
he's devoted. he offers you his entire support and will do anything to keep you far from harm, even if you're the one bringing it to you.
he doesn't get mad nor annoyed, he just wants to make sure it won't happen again.
if you thought you weren't protected enough by him, expect an even more on edge izana. you're so important for him, he can't help the creeping worry he's feeling.
he now ensures that his physical presence is a constant source of protection. whether it's standing close or wrapping an arm around your waist, he establishes a boundary to both claim you and reassure you. it keeps you steady and he's there if you ever were to trip.
izana wants to have control over the situation and does his best to react accordingly to ensure your safety.
but he's still gentle and have a careful touch despite his alpha assertiveness.
if he didn't know you often bumped into furniture, you better tell him fast because he won't calm down as easily as kazutora.
izana won't believe you at first, and will definitely not tolerate anybody touching his precious omega. that's why he's a menace.
he tends to be overprotective, doing his job as your alpha a bit too well and literally preventing you to live normally.
he calls you regularly and checks for any new bruises everytime you meet up, he made you swear you would be more careful!
ALPHA! BAJI
the first time he noticed your bruises, his face was livid while he lifted your arm into his gentle hands.
he's terrifyingly calm and you know it would only take a name before he completely lashes out.
luckily he's a very great listener and really attentive. once you tell him about how you hit your elbow in a door, he gets reminded of all the times you tripped and easily connects the dots.
you're a very clumsy omega and you trigger his instincts like never before.
he softly nags you, praying you to be more careful while also being completely clueless as to why you're so uncoordinated with your movements.
why do you have to drop everything? and the most dangerous things at that?
you give him literal heart attacks.
but he'll joke about it so you never feel bad about that part of yourself. he will sometimes sweep you off your feet and carry you himself so you don't fall down. he will condemn any sharp items and challenge anybody who might make fun of you for it.
#🍓anon#cannelle★#a/b/o tokyo revengers#alpha tokyo revengers#hybrid tokyo revengers#omegaverse tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers a/b/o#tokyo revengers headcanons#tokyo revengers hybrid#tokyo revengers omegaverse#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers headcanon#alpha baji#alpha kakucho#chifuyu matsuno omegaverse#mikey x reader#baji x reader#mitsuya x reader#izana x reader#angry x reader#alpha kazutora#alpha angry#souya x reader#izana headcanons#omega tokyo revengers#omega!reader#anime omegaverse#alpha!mikey#alpha chifuyu#kakucho x reader
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Nothing ever go according to plan | JJ Maybank x Reader
Summary: The plan to get the cross back turn sour and JJ end up putting his life on the line
Word count: 1k
Request: can I request a JJ Maybank fic with numbers 4 and 6 from the obx print list please! thank you sm <3 ‘’Can you stop being so fucking reckless? I’m tired of being scared of losing you.’’ + ‘’Don’t push me away.’’
Can you write the pursuit/accident from episode 5 but instead of Kie on the bike with JJ, it’s reader and they are a couple
Note: That scene had me on the edge of my seat!!
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
—
Getting caught stealing the cross into Topper’s truck was not part of the plan, but you had to roll with it. When does anything go according to plan anyway?
You saw a flash of red and blue lights, then heard the siren. Shit.
You quickly got behind JJ on his motorcycle, holding onto him tightly as he revved the engine and took off. A mix of siren wailing and tires screeching filled your ears, making the blood pump faster in your veins and your anxiety increase. Being part of the pursuit was less fun than watching it happen on TV.
‘’J…’’ you warned worriedly, looking over your shoulder and seeing the police car getting closer and closer.
‘’I know, I know,’’ he said, his own nerves translating in his voice.
He slid into the other lane and sped again, trying to catch up with Topper. Once he did, he told him to keep going straight and that he had a plan.
‘’Get ready to jump.’’
‘’What?!’’ you exclaimed, not on board with that plan. You’ve seen Footloose, it looked dangerous. ‘’Have you lost your mind? I’m not leaving you.’’ You clung to him, fingers gripping his shirt.
‘’Get in Top’s truck,’’ JJ repeated with more bite in his words.
Your safety was important to him and he couldn’t have you on his motorcycle if he wanted to continue with his plan.
Reluctantly, you did as told and jumped onto the box holding the cross, Pope’s hand holding yours tight so you wouldn’t fall during the process. He helped you get inside the truck, finally safe.
‘’Are you okay?’’ Sarah asked from the front seat.
You nodded, but everyone’s attention shifted when you heard a screech of tires right behind and saw that JJ had stopped and turned his bike around to distract the cops. Was that his plan? Getting the cops to go after him instead of the truck with the cross?
‘’Holy shit!’’ Cleo said, watching from the back window. ‘’I think he threw something at the cops.’’
The police car turned around and fell right into JJ’s plan. While distracting the cops was a good idea, he just committed a criminal offense.
Sarah turned to Topper. ‘’Topper, turn around!’’
He shook his head stubbornly. He agreed to help her, but he wasn’t going to go to prison for her friends — Pogues. ‘’Absolutely not.’’
‘’We’re not leaving him. He’s gonna get arrested,’’ you said, protecting your boyfriend at your turn.
With some more insisting from Sarah, she finally got Topper to turn around. You and Pope shared a relieved glance. The caution to get JJ out would be very salty and none of you could afford it.
The next minutes were intense. Pope was yelling directions at Topper while you were silently panicking in the backseat. The amount of stress this boy always put you through was crazy.
‘’No way, he's up on the overpass. What is he do—’’
Sarah didn’t get to finish her sentence. Up on the overpass, you saw JJ losing control of the motorcycle and crashing through the barrier and railing and falling down the overpass. The car echoed with gasps, watching the accident unfold.
Topper hit the brakes and you all stumbled out of the truck to check on JJ.
The motorcycle broke into pieces at the impact. There were parts here and there on the road, but no sign of JJ.
‘’JJ…’’ Your eyes were frantically searching for the blond as your hands were beginning to shake. ‘’JJ! Where is he?’’ You searched the surroundings, but he wasn’t there. ‘’JJ!’’ Your voice was desperate and panicked, mixing with the other’s.
‘’Maybe he’s up on the bridge,’’ Pope suggested, staying optimistic.
You crumbled to the ground as tears blurred your vision and a sob escaped your lips, thinking the worst. Cleo watched you with sadness and kept looking for JJ for you. She didn’t want that traumatic scene to be your last memory of him. He had to be alive.
‘’I wish I could say I did this on purpose, but that was the gnarliest powerslide I've ever done,’’ a familiar voice said from behind you.
Everyone whipped their heads around, seeing JJ standing and dusting off his hat.
‘’You’re alive!’’ Pope yelled, tackling his friend into a hug.
JJ groaned in pain, his whole body aching from the fall. ‘’Yeah, I’m surprised too.’’
Everyone went and hugged him, sharing a few words. Everyone except you. You were still on the ground among the debris, tears running down your face. He was there before your eyes, alive and well, but your state of shock held you frozen.
Noticing you were still on the ground, Sarah helped you up and called JJ, tearing his attention away from his conversation with Pope and Cleo.
Guilt filled his guts when he saw you and he freed himself from his friends to come over. ‘’I’m gonna go check on my girl.’’
If this would’ve been a movie, it would’ve been a perfect moment to put in slow-motion, but your life, although chaotic and implausible sometimes, was not a Hollywood production.
Another tear fell when you felt JJ’s embrace enveloping you. This time, it was a tear of relief. ‘’You’re okay,’’ you stated, your voice muffled by his chest.
‘’A little sore, but—’’
You pulled back and hit his chest sharply. ‘’Can you stop being so fucking reckless? I’m tired of being scared of losing you.’’
He hissed, but accepted the hit. He deserved it. From your perspective, the accident must not have been easy to watch. If he had been more careful, he would not have lost control of the motorcycle and fallen off the overpass.
JJ gently wiped your tears from your face, looking at you with soft guilty eyes. ‘’I’m sorry. I just wanted to help, I didn’t think my plan would turn to shit.’’ He tried to hug you again, but you didn’t let him. JJ sighed. ‘’Don’t do that. Don’t push me away.’’ He went again, but this time you wrapped your arms around his neck, pushing away the part of you that was mad at him.
—
OBX taglist: @moralina @eudximoniakr @toylewestinnyc @rottenstyx @sweeterheartxamerica @jordierama @viridwityy @izzy-laufeyson @kenzi-woycehoski @lilaconner @Katsukis1Wife @hawkegfs @mommyruuetrue @acornacreacure @snownjune @nmedina8611 @slvtherinseeker
All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs @gillybear17 @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron
#jj maybank#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x y/n#jj maybank outer banks#jj maybank fanfic#jj outer banks#outer banks#outer banks fic#outer banks imagine#rudy pankow
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So Damn Pretty
Chapter 1
Part 2 : Here
Pairing: Johnny Slaughter X Female Reader
Summary: Johnny is sex starved and you’re very attractive, so attractive that he doesn’t want to kill you. Instead he finds ways to keep you around longer.
Note: I wanna turn this into a longer story as I really like the idea of a cruel pussy-whipped Johnny actually getting the reader pregnant and his family is shocked at his actions. For now I apologies if there is any mistakes since this is still a new hobby of mine.
Warning: This is 18+ and please do not read if your sensitive to heavy descriptions of non/con and violence. Including bondage, blood, assault, objectification and breeding/impregnation. For those who don’t mind, I hope you enjoy.
Scrambling in the dark for a toolbox. I cringe harshly at the distant sounds of an angry, revving chainsaw combined with the gurgling screams of my friends. I hasten up my search for a lock-pick. Wincing as I make a lot of noise. “Yes!” I exclaimed, finding two lock-picks. “I still have a chance. Now, to get out of this rotten slaughterhouse.” I say determined with hope.
With this new feeling of hope, I quickly run to the end of the building, accidentally smacking into the hanging bones near the exit. “Fuck!” Desperate to escape I decided to keep going, reaching to a locked door. I unlocked it swiftly pushing the door to swing open, bolting down to the gated exit to make my escape.
“Shit!” The gate is being blocked by live electricity. “Damn, I gotta shut it off before someone arrives.” frustrated, I searching around for the power source. I find a yellow power cord leading to a car battery.
Walking towards the vehicle, I don’t take notice of a large figure coming up behind me.
All of a sudden, I’m slammed down hard into the car. I see a flash of white as I head-butt the vehicle. Falling to the ground in pain, a strong leg kicks harshly into my stomach. With the wind knocked out of me, I’m picked up and shoved flat on top of the hood of an another car. My wrists get clamped together behind me. A zip-tie going around them tight, leaving me immobile. “No one escapes me.” A gruff, deep voice whispered into my ear.
Back when I was searching for an exit. I was unaware of Johnny already in the building, watching me, relishing in my oblivious state. Getting ready to crush my hope.
Now as he ties up my wrists, he takes a closer look at my pretty face, smooth skin and thick thighs. He likes how I smell, the way my hair shines in the low light. He wolf-whistles pulling at my ripped mini dress showing off my smooth legs.“You’re just asking to be fucked aren’t ya? He says slyly. He’s feeling something more deeper then his bloodlust. More carnal, something he rarely gets to indulge on.
Disorientated and aching from the assaulted, I groan out and wiggle weakly against the man holding me down. He pulls me up again to turn me over, facing him. I realise my assailant is Johnny, the man that brought me and my friends into this hell. Staring at his handsome face, I still feel my attraction to him, even after his monstrosities.
“Pretty girls like you are very rare around here.” My anxiety spiked at his tone of voice. Watching the way his eyes look me over, focusing more on my face and chest. “Too pretty to be food” He says up close to my face smirking arms boxing me in. “To keep you alive darling, I need to put a baby in you.“
My eyes widen at his words. I sputter out words of disagreement but they fall on deaf ears. He pulls out his large knife from the back of his belt. Scared, I try to run, but he shoves my chest back flat against the hood of the car. Feet just touching the ground. My hands digging awkwardly into my back, the angle makes my chest push out.
Johnny uses it to his advantage and slices the middle of dress down so my breasts spill out. My hard nipples exposed to the cold air. His stare is intense. He slices my delicate skin going across the top of my breasts. Deep enough to let warm blood dribble over my nipples.
He looks into my worried gaze and smirks. He snaps his arms around my waist. Holding me still as he harshly sucks on my nipples giving each one the same treatment. He keeps eye contact with me. Trails his hot tongue from my left nipple upwards, grazing it across my bleeding cut to lick down to my right nipple, sucking it hard.
I feel his hard, heavy cock grinding against my clothed core. He groans as he cleans up my blood. “So sweet.” He whispers under his breath. I shut my eyes and roll my head back. I try to stay silent but soft pants escape me. My pussy throbs for some relief. He kisses his way up to my neck, leaving bite marks and bruises.
His right hand leaves my waist moves down to feel my wetness. “You cheeky whore”. He says in my ear with a deep chuckle. “You’re soaked.” He grabs his knife again and slices my panties off, nicking me in the process. Then dives down for a heated kiss using his fingers to rub my clit side to side. I close my eyes moaning into his mouth. He breaks his held away from my body. Places his left hand next my head to hold himself up while his right continues to play with my clit.
He sits up to look at my disheveled from with admiration; Arms restrained, chest heaving, eyes glossy and legs spread wide, grinding into his hand. He bites his bottom lip at the sight.
My moans grow louder from the stimulation. He replaces his fingers with a thumb that’s now rubbing my clit in tight circles. His two middle fingers instead slip inside me, fucking me, getting me closer. I almost cum right there on his hand. But he pulls away.
“I wanna feel you cum on my cock sweetheart.” Johnny goes to tug on my right nipple with his teeth as he plays with my pussy again. “Johnny!” I cry out his name. Spreading my legs wider, hungry for an orgasm.
“Begging for my cock now huh? Don’t worry baby girl i’ma give it to ya’.” He pulls away to flip me over. Johnny pushes the rest of my dress up so my lower half is exposed. He pulls my hips back putting me in doggy style.
While Johnny manoeuvres my body. I hear bloody screams. Guilt strikes me, remembering my friends. Johnny shoves his feet in between mine to stop me from closing my legs. He grips my tied wrists with one hand while the other goes to unbuckle his belt, letting his pants drop. “Don’t stop now baby, we are just getting started.” My clit throbs as he pinches it. Heavily aroused and aching, I grind my pussy on his hard cock. Giving in, wanting Johnny to fuck me.
“Good girl”. He slaps my ass and slowly inch by inch he guides his fat cock inside me, stretching me out. “Yeah, take my cock” Johnny doesn’t move once he’s fully inside. Giving me time to adjust. “Fuck, sweetheart is my cock too big for you?” He teases, watching me struggle. He gives a small thrust i shove back wanting more. “Johnny!” I moan, clenching around his cock. Making him groan.
“I’m gonna be the last man to ever cum in your tight pussy.” He states right before pounding into me. Gripping my arms he pulls them back using them as leverage to fuck me harder. I watch him through the reflection of the car, he notices the reflection too. He pulls me back higher so he can watch my tits bounce. He grips my ass hard as he thrusts in and out of my drenched hole. “Im gonna make you ride my cock everyday!” He’s hitting deeper while he talks dirty. “Such a good fucking pussy.” I ignore the brutal sounds of my friends dying. More focused on the man behind me, driving his thick cock in my pussy.
Hitting so deep I let out high pitch whines with each thrust, I bite my lip and thrust my hips back into him. I’m getting closer to my release. Moaning out to not stop.
He grunts at my demand. “Awe baby, are you about to cum?” I struggle to coherent a response as he fucks harder. “I feel your pussy getting tighter sweetheart! Come on give it to me.” I gush over his cock, quivering. My orgasm brings Johnny closer to finishing. The tightness sends Johnny over the edge.
“Fuck!” His movements go sloppy. I let out a cry from the overstimulation as he fills me up to the brim with hot cum, not leaving until he’s empty. Slowly he removes his cock, it bounces back against his lower stomach glistening from mix juices. He watches his cum dribble out of me and slaps my ass one last time.
He places me back on the hood, my wrist starting to go slightly numb. He pulls up his jeans and buckles his belt. He takes one last look at my chest before he tries to give me some modesty by rearranging the cut in my dress.
“Ya know I’ve always wanted to be a dad, raise em’ just like how my momma raised me.” He looks me over placing his hand on my stomach. “If you do end up pregnant then you may live longer.” He smiles at me. I just look into his dark eyes. Unsure of what to say, how to think after such rough fucking. He pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his back pocket to light a smoke. “Come on, let’s go check out your dead friends.” He grabs my arm leading me back into that damn slaughterhouse.
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PAC // The next chapter in your love life 💖
Hi babes! Welcome to another PAC. This is about what is about to come in your love life because of this Venus starpoint, remember this is a general reading so take only what resonates. This is mostly related to single people but there are also messages in every pile for people who are already in a relationship.
Take a deep breath and choose the pile you feel more drawn to, if you feel attracted to more than one pile read it as well, it might has a hidden message for you.
For private readings click here
Pics are from pinterest, credits to their owners.
Pile 1 Pile 2
Pile 3 Pile 4
1. THE MUSES:
Current energies:
(Cards: Queen of gems, 9 of gems rev, 6 of wings / 3 of wings)
Congrats pile 1! You've been making a hard work to nurture your own needs and improve your independence, you are being constant and consistent in this transit of healing you knew you had to go through to attract a healthy romance. You are releasing past pain related to relationships and your expectations about it, your perspective of love is changing for the better and you must be feeling it very soon if you haven't already. Now you feel more confident about yourself but also about what you are willing to accept in love terms, your standars are high but realistic, you are realizing what you really want in a love partner but being gentle with your needs and taste and you don't mind wait for your special person because the love you want to attract is like a twin flame connection, you want the one person that matches you and you know it's so worthy that you don't mind wait for your special person meanwhile you attend yourself.
What plays at your favor and what to avoid:
(Cards: Knight of wands, The well rev / Ace of cups)
Your passion and free spirit will be your card under the sleeve, putting energy into your personal long term goals and ignite the fire within you. You have found out something that fullfils your soul, you can be even aligned with your purpose on this lifetime, invest energy in what really awakes your passion and opens the road to your future happiness, even more if this is related to a career or a job. Don't hesitate when it comes to make decitions, be open to new opportunities and allow yourself to explore what those opportunities has in store for you, so open up to the world, love.
What you need to avoid is overthinking and spending too much time in your imagination, use it wisely to visualize what you want but don't let that visualizations be more real than your current life. Also there can be some insecurities that holds you back from taking the risk and embody the energy of the knight of wands, babe you are harder than the hard circumstances you've been through, trust yourself because you are unstoppable and filled with willpower.
I have good news for you! After a short time for you to embrace your fierce energy someone will come up to you with love intentions if you are single. This person is someone with clear ideas about what they want and they are not shy at all, they'll have an eye on you before you even realize and will give the first step to you in the most unexpected way, you won't see them coming. For people already in a relationship you can expect an unexpected but healthy movement from your partner that is going to bring so much happines and peace to the relationship.
Divine guidance:
(Cards: Religious factors, chemistry)
You've been waiting for so long, my love! Idk what you have been through in your love life but I feel a deep agony feeling in my stomach. Probably you have suffered a lot of anxiety with your past partners but I promise you, you will never go through that pain again, you had to learn the hard way but you learnt the lesson anyway and that helped you become the person you are today. Think that the people that did you wrong in the past were the ones who lost you, you haven't lost anything but gained a lot of wisdom through your journey, you are strong, you are fierce and you are wise give the proper value to your journey and all you had accomplished. Also you have an strong spiritual guidance and protection, they want you to know that the worst has left behind and your love life is going to improve very soon but you also need to open up and socialize a little bit more to see who you share that chemistry you've been looking for, you will find great friendships too.
Something relevant to know:
(Cards: Kisses, soul mates, addiction // Libra, the Moon, 4th house)
You are attracting a soul mate that is about to come, it's really close, someone who will fall deeply in love with you, for the ones who are already in a relationship this person you are with is the one you can build a life with. For singles, this is someone completely new, nothing from your past or at least, if you know them you never had anything romantic with this person. They are straight forward with you from the very first moment, they will want everything with you and that might scare you when happens, their intensity and assertiveness can be too much for you at the beginning. This person is fast but steady, they know what they want and go after it with no hesitation and that straight forward attitude can be intimidating for you but it's because a blockage you have within related to codependence but I feel at the same time some trust issues, that's why the cards through all the spread reminds you to trust yourself and don't try to control the uncontrolable. Don't let fear of what could go wrong stop you from reaching the happiness you've been looking for, let your feelings guide you, you'll realize that this person makes you feel happy, safe, respected and supported, they'll be what you wanted so bad so just thank it and enjoy it.
Your person looks very attractive for many people, they have this charming magnetic aura around them, they have a great taste of fashion too, probably has many secret admirers. You can know them through a family member or someone you know from your childhood (I hear something about an school classmate), you could also meet them at night, they have something that feels familiar for you even if you haven't ever seen them before. They are very into pda so they will try to get close to you and touch you when you two spend time together, I see this specific situation of you two sitting in a sofa and there's something between the two of you, like a party bag or a cushion and they try many times to throw that obstacle away to be closer to you. They are emotional but don't like feeling vulnerable so they might try to hide this sentimental side of themselves (but they will probably cry when in a movie a pet passes away), their love language is mostly physical touch. They might be a Libra moon or has the moon in the 4th house.
Manifest love:
(Cards: Supermoon, Cardinal moon)
Listen to your emotions, babe, they are trying to communicate some traits you weren't aware of related to the way you handle relationships in general not just in romantic terms. As the previous part said, you are dealing with some kind of attachment or addiction that is keeping you blocked and in a melancholic vibe. Be conscious about this attachment when it wants to sabotage you, be bold and overcome that fear, deep inside you know there's nothing to worry about.
2. POCAHONTAS:
Current energies:
(Cards: Strenght rev, Ace of roses rev, Death / The moon rev)
I see you very confused about your love life, there's a lack of understanding to what is happening to you in love terms. You are dealing with self sabotage, my love, I see very specific situations... you might be working with attraction or assumption law visualizing what you really want but on your ideals for a partner there is a lot of confusing energies. Maybe you want someone adventurous and fiery but at the same time someone that loves to stay at home and be like a teddy bear, grounded and stable, idk if I'm explaining this imbalance correctly, you need to be more precise with your intentions and aware if what you want to attract is really what will make you happy in the future. For others I see you very rigid in your standars and rejecting people very easily without giving them the proper time to really know those people and if they can match you. If you already have a love partner you might be unconsciously looking for flaws in them because you are not feeling very plenty but in whichever scenario you are in you need to give an step back to see this situation with perspective because this blockage is related to fear, and it'sprobably a repetitive situation you've been involved before, like the people are different but the situation is the same. You need to see if this insatisfaction is within you or is because of the romantic interest you are dealing with, maybe you are preventing suffering and not allowing yourself to feel to protect your heart. If you are single you must analyze if you are sabotaging the love opportunities that the Universe brings you, if you are already with someone analyze as well if you are feeling bad because something is happening within you or this feeling is caused by the person you are with. Don't fear looking at this aspect of yourself because the lesson behind will break a karmic pattern.
What plays at your favor and what to avoid:
(Cards: 2 of pentacles, 7 of swords rev / 4 of cups)
When we spend too much time alone with ourselves we begin to love more our own company and avoid spending energy with some people, this is even more deep when we have traumatic past experiences. You might be so comfortable with yourself that involving with somebody else looks like a nice idea but uncomfortable at the same time, you would like to but maybe another day. Babe, if you feel ready for love you just are, open up to love and enjoy but if you are not in the mood you need to respect that feeling as well. If your heart feels ready to open up just allow it and avoid mental games or trying to look for the flaw, if your heart is calling you to spend more time alone do it too, listen to your heart babe, if you don't the only thing you will get is the feeling of insatisfaction.
Divine guidance:
(Cards: You deserve to be loved / healing family wounds)
Self care is the key! Giving yourself the love you want to recieve is what you need to do to attract the love life you dream of. For singles, this moment is calling you to dig within yourself and attend the wounded parts of yourself that are still bleeding, mostly related to your inner child and your love language. For the people with a love partner is almost the same, you need to know what you like and dislike in love and your emotional needs, is a selfish mindset to expect from our partners to solve our problems or know our needs if we haven't told them or we don't even know our needs, is like asking to our partner for reading our minds instead of communicating what we want or need. Self discovery is also a love story, babe, the most unique one, I learnt some time ago that when we need something from others is because deep inside we feel unfulfilled and ask for someone to fill that void we feel uncapable to fulfill, this trait is really unhealthy for both parts of the relationship, the healthy midset would when you feel so satisfied with your life that you choose the right person for you, choosing instead of needing.
Something relevant to know:
(Cards: Wedding rings, engagement ring, the phoenix / Piscis, the Sun, 4th house)
For the people who already are in a relationship I'm happy to say that your person is going to have a very deep commitment with you, making you release any doubt you were having. For some of you your person can even give you an engagement ring if you are at that stage of your relationship, for others can be getting a pet or moving together. After this movement everything will change for the better and after a while you will wonder why were you so scared for such a wonderful outcome.
For singles, this is about commit with yourself and what really makes you happy, give yourself the love and treatment you like and deserve because soon after someone will approach you when you less expected. Get to know yourself deeply, babe, you'll fall in love with the fantastic human being you are, you can ask your guides for help too, they are always there to give you a helping hand.
The person you are attracting is someone that wants a serious commitment, they feel ready for a long term relationship. They are very emotionally mature people but also very romantic, their love language can be spending quality time together and acts of service because they will want to make your life easier. Your person is someone creative and doesn't fear expressing their sensitive nature, their job can be something that involves creativity too. They are warm and charming, the way they love is pure, loyal and deep, they will feel like a safe place for you. They might be a Pisces sun or has the sun in the 4th house
Manifesting love:
(Cards: New moon in gemini / Supermoon)
Communicate your feelings babe, speak your truth to those who love you and tell them about your true feelings. Your emotions are overflowing right now and that can lead to confusion or overwhelming, saying out loud what we feel makes us realize of the things we weren't aware of, and if we speak with the people we trust they can give us another perspective of the situation. If you don't feel comfortable or if it's hard for you to find someone to trust your feelings you can write them as well, create a journal where you can express and unblock your throat chakra, but babe, there are people around you can trust, just look better the people around you. Singing can be very healing too.
3. Lilo and Stitch:
Current energies:
(Cards: The chariot rev, King of gems rev, Queen of gems / The lovers rev)
I feel that the major part of this pile is for people with somebody already in their lives, can be a solid relationship or just a romantic interest, if you are single go read the part of Manifest love, there will be more information for you there. If you've been doubting of this connection listen carefully to that gut feeling. Well... are you sure you want to spend your precious energy in this connection? Think about it with cold head, maybe you find out how draining this relationship is for you. All cards are reversed but the queen of gems is upright (the card of the nurturer), what I see here is an unbalanced relationship where just one side of the couple is making the effort to make the other part happy, specially the femenine energy of the relationship (energy, not gender). Think about the love and care you are giving to this connection and if your person is commiting with it as much as you do, you probably find out that this is one sided connection and you are giving your energy to someone who doesn't seem to appreciate what you have to offer. You deserve someone who can't control an smile when they see you, someone that worries about you and wants to see you happy, don't settle down for less. You are too much art for someone who lacks sensivity 💕
If you are single, babe, just wait for a little more time for your person, the options that are around you right now are not the best options for you and if you try something with them it can be a very stressful and exhausting relationship.
What plays at your favor and what to avoid:
(Cards: 10 of pentacles; Knight of cups rev / The Hierophant)
My love, look around you and see how far you've come in your personal life, you are blessed and abundant. Some good news related to your resources or money are going to come soon if they haven't come yet, this is like a Divine gift the Universe want to give you to keep moving forwards and reach your goals. Invest more in yourself and spend more time with the people you feel comfortable with, you have some admirers so if you don't mind being the center of attention just enjoy it because you are magnetic right now for everyone who gets close to you, you shine bright and there are many people waiting to get close and know you better, there's something very beautiful and captivating about you that is very hard to resist, everyone who gets to know your precious heart will fall deeply in love with you, you are magical, babe and you deserve to feel that way.
What you need to avoid is to be expecting too much about the person you are dealing with romantically, take distance and let them miss you, they will show if they are worthy of your time and energy or not. They probably will be showing a very childish attitude, don't justify those kind of behaviors on others if you don't justify it for yourself, embrace your values and never allow anyone to act badly torwards you if you would never act that way torwards them. Be faithful to yourself and what you believe is right and if this person doesn't treat you with the love you deserve just let them go, they don't deserve you then. The first commitment you focus on should be with yourself.
Divine guidance:
(Cards: Religious factors; worth waiting for / Deception)
Don't get scared if you read the cards that dropped, all the spread tells you about the harm that is causing you your current relationship or connection. I don't want to tell you what to do but these cards and the cards from the next part of the reading are repeating the same, that person you are with is not your ideal person and someday, somehow they will do or say something that is going to be very revealing to you in the negative way.
There's an obvious deception and for some this will be more painful than for others, cutting ties with someone you've worked so hard to be with and you love is painful but is even more terrible to be with someone who only takes and never gives, being always expecting them to do something for you that they are not willing to do is heart breaking and you don't deserve to feel that pain because you are worthy of true and unconditional love.
Babe, by now give the love you need to yourself and don't expect it from anyone else, you are loving, caring and nurturing, you are the f*** Queen of Gems! Focus all that tenderness on you, pamper and also heal yourself, this deception is still or will be something painful that needs its proper time to heal so take care of your heart. As the cards say, the love of your life is worth the wait, be patient and take care of yourself meanwhile, your guides has someone very special in store for you, and great things takes time.
Something relevant to know:
(Cards: Broken heart, mask / Gemini, the Moon, 3rd house)
First of all, how is your throat chakra? I feel it needs more balance, sacral chakra does too. Babe, I know you won't like to know this but all the spread has been leading to this heartbreak card. The person you are dealing right now is going to reveal you their true face and will be very different to what you thought, their mask will fall and you probably won't like what was hiding under. I'm sad to tell you to be aware of their behavior because with their words they might try to harm you and make you feel bad, maybe agressive words are their survival mechanism when they feel exposed. Don't let them hurt your feelings, all they can do or say will reveal themselves, their true intentions and what they are capable of, it's nothing about you, remember that in this relationship you were the Queen of gems, they were the one that were taking a very narcissistic attitude.
Communication will be the best way to get an answer about your person, tell them about your feelings and desires for your relationship and see what they have to say, a serious conversation about the outcome of your relationship can give you a clarer vision to make a decition.
Manifesting love:
(Cards: Full moon in aries / New moon in gemini)
For the ones in a relationship the end of a toxic and harmful cicle is about to approach, be careful with your words, don't be agressive with them and don't tolerate if your person use harmful words torwards you. Even if your relationship gets a literal ending or just the end of a pattern, after that things will move smother for you, this situation probably has a karmic lesson behind.
For singles you might have been deceipted by the options you have for romantic terms or the people you have dealt with in your past, none of them really makes you feel that kind of love you are looking for. You are meant to spend the rest of your life with someone that really match with you, you look for something deep and if you are into the spiritual path you are aligning with the journey of twin flames. Your true love might take a little more time to reach your life but they will surely are worth the wait, meanwhile try to open up your throat chakra and speak with more people, a refresh in the people of your enviroment can be very helpful due to the dissapointment you have with the people already in.
You can meet your person through a sibling or cousin, it can be through really close friends you see as family. You'll recognize them by how well the conversation will flow between you two, that's the importance behind speaking more with more people so you can see the people you vibe with. Your person and you will have very deep conversations, you both will feel very comfortable with eachother and probably they will tell you things they wouldn't say to nobody else, the same for you with them. It will start for you like very good friends and things will slowly evolve into a romantic relationship.
4. Belle:
Current energies:
(Cards: The tower, The lovers, Queen of roses / 8 of gems)
Mmmm... Love is in the air for you, pile 4! You are not very focused in your love life or at least not interested right now, you are more into your work or studies, you are giving more importance to other aspects of your life intead of romantic relationships and it has probably something to do with a hard moment of your life you've been through or a big dissapointment you had with somebody (maybe a really close friend?). Anyway, by being focused into doing what you love you have attracted someone really special into your life, maybe you already know them but for the most of you I see you are not aware of this person but soon, and I mean very very soon (The lovers card in the present moment) will make a movement to start something with you. There will be a lot of chemistry between you two and a lot of sexual tension too.
What plays at your favor and what to avoid:
(Cards: The hermit, The artist / 3 of cups)
You've earnt a lot of wisdom after that tower momment you had to go through, you have leveled up your conscious and are more aware and sure about what you want in a relationship and what you are not willing to accept. Remember how wise and intuitive you are, and remember all the traits you are looking for in a partner, keep listening to yourself and don't be afraid to set healthy boundaries, not just in love terms but with frienships too.
You might have very high standars and that can make you see flaws where there are not, you like your time alone where you can visualize the life you want to manifest, this can make you run away from commitment, be aware of this trait when this person arrives in your life. This person comes to stay but being in the artist and the ermit mood for too long can make you delay the things you are trying to attract.
What plays at your favor are the people around you, specially 2 women that loves you deeply and want you to slow down with all you want to do and enjoy of the opportunities the world has to offer you, I hear a lovely laugh so you probably have a beautiful laugh that these two women wants to hear more often. You need to enjoy and have more fun in the present moment and have more faith in the future, you are very in tune with yourself so do things that makes you feel comfortable and happy, allow yourself to feel and go out of that ermit mode, youo'll feel great.
Divine guidance:
(Cards: Free yourself / Get to know each other)
If you read the cards I think the message is pretty obvious but let's go ahead! You need to release some fears, trust or commitment issues you are dealing with related to romantic relationships, you are more receptive to them in a more methaphorical way than to a real person. For some of you I feel that you daydream a lot about how your person should be for you two fit together but spending so much time idealizing your person can lead to loose from sight good oportunities you have around. This person you are meant to know is going to come to your life soon anyway, they have good intentions torwards you, the important thing here is to go with the flow and let the events evolve the way they should, don't try to control the situation or run away when things are not going how you expected. Get to know this person deeply using your emotional intelligence, don't force things to be the way you want them to be, I promise you this relationship will be better than you ever imagined.
Something relevant to know:
(Cards: Cupid's arrow; paradise; healthy choices / Taurus; Mars; 12th House)
Wowwww, I really love this 😍! There will be an strong chemistry from the start, even though you can be with your guards up this person is not going to give up easily, they are sure they want to make you part of their life and give you the love you deserve, this person is stubborn as hell when they want something, they don't hesitate torwards a challenge. They will show you a kind, respectful and unconditional type of love, probably you have never had a love story like this before, They will always try to make you feel comfortable, I think they will introduce you to their friends and family pretty soon, they want you to be with them, they see something in you that they knows will make them very happy and wants to give you the same in return. You'll feel safe and stable with this person, I feel this person is going to feel devotion for you, they are goint to trust you so much they will open up easily to you and tell you things they wouldn't say to anybody else... Tbh this is relationship goals for me. There will be so much love in here, but what I feel the most is you two being best friends, by each other side no matter the outside circumstances. Congratulations my love!
Your person is physically attractive, they have like solid and stable vibe, they look very friendly or maybe they are very very close to their friends. They are passionate people, probably has a high sex drive, they enjoy challenges but they are methodical and strategist to get their goal. They will love your company and will purpose you a lot of plans together but they would be happy just sitting on the floor if it's with you.They can be Taurus mars or having mars in the 12th house.
Manifesting love:
(Cards: Full moon in scorpio; Full moon in virgo)
This person is going to enter in your life very soon anyway but there can be some obstacles that interrupt the harmony of the relationship, is mostly about negative thoughts, misunderstandings and trust issues. Don't let negative thought patterns block you from being happy, remember your value and self worth, you are wonderful and beautiful just by being yourself so keep that always in mind. You deserve the same love you give so get sure it is unconditional and the best thing you can do for that is release those doubts and fears when they come and tell to yourself that you are good enough to recieve the kind of love you are looking for.
#Spotify#tarot pac#pac#tarotblr#leoascendente#tarot spread#tarot reading#pick a card reading#pick a card#tarot cards#love tarot reading#soulmate#twin flames
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Pick a pile: Where will you be in 3, 6, and 12 months?
Looking back at my poll from a couple of weeks ago, there were three topics tied for second place. One of them is this one: Where will you be in 3, 6, and 12 months?
For this reading, I looked at your current energy. If you're not sure which pile is for you, please feel free to read that part first! Then, I went through and provided insight on where you'll be/what you'll be focused on at the 3-month, 6-month, and 12-month increments of the next year. The write ups are a bit longer than usual, so I apologize in advance for pile 3 & 4 for having to scroll a bit longer lol
Current Energy: The Moon
At this current time, it feels like you are in an energy of “almost”. You have something in your mind that you think makes a good idea/proposal. Your gut tells you that you should go for it, but your anxiety is holding you back from taking the leap. You may be remembering a time in the past where you went for something big and it didn’t work out. You’re worried this may happen again and you don’t want to set yourself up for disappointment.
3 – Page of swords, Knight of cups
In three months time, you’re going to be on an enthusiastic, creative, and passionate adventure. There is something you are hoping to share with the world! In the months leading up to this, new ideas are going to be brewing. How can you best share your passion with others? What is a fun and new way to present your idea? Continue brainstorming these ideas and you’ll have a good basis of where to start when the time comes.
6 – Eight of wands
After a few more months of getting your idea up and running (6 mo. total) , you are really going to see movement and action. There may have been a few bumps along the way as you perfected the execution of your ideas above, but things seem to be smoothing out. I think that around this time, you’ll have a really solid foundation of where you want this project to go. As you see the rewards of your work, you may even want to begin expanding.
12 – Four of wands, Wheel of fortune
Finally, a year from now, you’re going to feel really fulfilled. What I love is that the wheel of fortune came up in this time frame specifically. The Wheel is about karma and life cycles – it makes me think that at this time next year you’re really going to feel like you’ve come full circle in whatever project you’ve just taken on. The four of wands is all about celebration, harmony, and relaxation. An amazing and overwhelming sense of “I did it!” is definitely coming through here. Congratulations on whatever you’re up to, pile 1. It’s going to be amazing 😊
Current energy - Knight of pentacles rev. and Seven of cups rev.
You are feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. Based on the cards that came out for your timeline, I think it likely has to do with your social circle/relationships. Maybe you’re the foundation of the group and you’re starting to become tired of being everyone’s support (like, actual exhaustion, not just “sick of it”) or you feel like you’re the one who is continually left out. You are trying to figure out what to do about it but feel stuck. I also can’t stop thinking that some of you are students – either graduating HS this year and starting college in the Fall, transferring schools, or starting a new career closely after graduation. This might not be all of you, but I was called to make that note.
3 – Three of cups reversed
You’re going to venture on your own pretty soon here, number two. Where the three of cups upright is about community, celebrating with friends, etc., the reversal indicates that you need some alone time. It’s okay if you don’t feel like you’re really clicking with your people anymore. Even though it can suck, you must do what is best for you. And I think that means seeing who you are, without the influence of others. There is a small indication of overindulgence, specifically when it comes to lifestyle changes. While it’s important to find yourself, please remember to do it smartly and healthily.
6 – Six of cups, page of cups
Taking the time to find yourself is going to bring you to your six-month point. At this point in time, I think you’re going to have a pretty good idea of who “you” are. You’re going to be more in tune with your intuition & higher self. You have a clearer idea of the future – or at least you are getting more and more comfortable with the unknown. Taking this time for yourself was really important and I’m happy that you’re going to do it. It is going to teach you the beauty of curiosity, it’s going to remind you that your inner child is still within you and deserves fun, and it’s going to teach you that the past is the past and the only way forward is continuing to move ahead.
12 – Ten of coins, The Devil
The main message from these two cards comes from the ten of coins. This next year is going to teach you SO much about yourself. At this time next year, you’ll look back feel like your personal journey was absolutely worth it. You feel more abundant and much more confident that your future ahead is bright. The Devil, I think, is here as another reminder to not get ahead of yourself or start to feel conceited because of your journey. You may feel tempted to rub your success in the faces of that social circle you left, but that is not going to be beneficial to you. Let your success make YOU happy. You can absolutely share the success, but not as a way to shame the others who had previously let you down.
Current Energy – The Emperor and Playday rev.
Playday is a specific card to this deck and, for some reason, there’s not any info on what the card was meant to represent. But hey, that’s all part of the tarot reading process! Since it came into reverse, my initial thought is that you haven’t had many opportunities to have playday. I asked the deck for a standard tarot card to clarify and the Emperor came out at that time. In your current energy, you feel an obligation to take of others and be a foundation for them. Some of you are likely parents or caretakers. Others feel like you have to be “the strong one”. In your eyes, there is no time for play because there is too much to be done and there are too many people who need you.
3 – Three of coins rev., Five of cups
I think it’s been your goal for some time to focus on self-care. And I think that you’re going to continue to try for the next three months. There is this sense that you wish others would take care of you for once, but you’re “stuck” taking care of yourself AND trying to take care of them at the same time. You wonder why you have to be on the journey of self-care alone. You might get to this three-month period and wonder what the point of self-care is if you don’t even feel better. I’m here to remind you that ANY progress in taking care of yourself is good progress! The fact that you are THINKING about how you deserve to be taken care of is a good thing! It means you know your worth. Unfortunately, I don’t think the three-month period is going to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside but!! (see your six-month overview for more)
6 – The Chariot
Although the road to self-care has been HARD, you really WILL feel your rewards soon. By the six-month period, you’re going to feel some success. You’ll see that you have the willpower to take care of yourself instead of dropping everything to help everyone else, you’ll have the determination to hold your boundaries, and you’ll have the strength to remember that it only gets better from here. Boundary setting is coming out the strongest as the thing you’ll progress with the most. There will be tests that challenge this and sometimes the boundaries will come down, but you will more consistently BELIEVE you deserve the boundaries. It’s going to be an empowering time for you, group three! I’m just sorry it has to be the six month check point lol
12 – Five of swords rev., Ace of swords, Eight of swords (clarified by Sunrise, also a deck specific card!)
At this time next year, you’re going to be so proud of yourself. This makes my heart happy <3 There are still some times where people challenge your boundaries and try to take advantage of your genuine heart, but you’re finally at a point where you feel confident saying no. If/when this happens, you’ll reflect over this past year and see how far you’ve come. This will remind you of all of the hard work you did to get here and that it is not worth going back to feeling the way you did before (aka right now). You can ABSOLUTELY still be a person who provides a solid foundation for others, but not at the expense of yourself. Your mental state is going to feel soo much more clear. Each day you’ll realize something new about yourself, your needs, and how YOU can help yourself get there. This is really going to be a turning point in your mindset. AH I’m just so excited for you! Finally, with the eight of swords – I wanted to pull a clarifier because the eight usually represents negativity and victim mentality. I don’t think this will be your energy in a year. So, I pulled the Sunrise card. I think it’s AWESOME that you got 2/3 unique cards from this deck. This card is different than the Sun card, though, in my interpretation, it has a lot of the same energy. In the times that you feel guilty for setting your boundaries or taking care of yourself first, there will be a sunrise in the back of your mind. You will see the light of the rays and the warmth of this bright star. It will be a reminder that the sun always rises and it doesn’t mean you’re reverting back to your old tendencies to forget your own needs.
12 month column is ace of wands & moonlight ; apologies for the hard to read text. in retrospect, I shouldn't have picked that photo background.
Current energy: The Devil reversed.
Right now, you are going through a personal transformation. I bet there is a sense of unknown and you’re a bit resistant to that (consciously or not). The future is scary and not being able to plan for it doesn’t help the anxiety. However, you understand the importance of your transformation and are trying your best to optimistic of the outcome.
3 – The Hierophant, Temperance, and Four of cups
In three months, it looks like you’ll still be on the journey of self-discovery, but you’ll be a little more patient with not knowing. In the time leading up to this three-month mark, you’ll discover tools that help you remain present. You’ll do a lot of introspection which will allow you to feel more comfortable about still being in land of the unknown. Around the three-month mark, you’ll redirect your thoughts to a different pathway than you’re currently thinking. The four of cups represents meditation and re-evaluation of your situation. You may have a moment of panic feeling like you have to start over AGAIN, but the tools you’ve learned were meant to be learned so you could get through this. You KNOW you’re not starting over because you have new insights that weren’t even in your reality three months ago (aka now). You may start delving more into spirituality to help you on your journey. This could include going to church more often, researching new religions, picking up tarot, or simply continuing meditation to get a bigger understanding of the world around you.
6 – The Sun
By six months, you’re going to feel like the sun won’t stop shining. Even on the coldest days, you feel the warmth of the sun because you know you have a purpose. In the time between three months & six months, you’re going to figure something out. Something is going to click and it is going to propel you to work on something great. You’ll feel revitalized, group four, and I think it’s a feeling you’ve been looking for for awhile now. You’re going to inspire others with your newfound light. You’re going to feel confident expressing yourself (beliefs, needs, ideas, etc.). I’m really happy for you!
12 – Ace of wands, Moonlight (specific to this deck; different from The Moon)
This time next year will truly feel like a new beginning. The sun has set on this particular part of your journey and the moon is coming out to light the next path. While the moonlight is less bright than the sunlight, I think this card is here to represent that, no matter day or night, the universe is here to provide some light even in the darkness. As you look ahead to new opportunities, the unknown doesn’t scare you as much. You know the sun will always rise again and provide you clarity on your path. And you know based on this journey that you’ll always feel the sun’s warmth, no matter what part of the journey you’re on.
#tarot#free reading#tarot reading#tarot cards#pick a card#manifestation#transformation#your future#don't forget that free will is always there!
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Teeth
Part 9!
Werepanther!Billy Russo x Female Reader
Masterlist
Warnings: Angst, anxiety, implications of murder.
You twitch your toes, waiting till there's a knock on your door.
Blinking, you open it carefully, trying not to fiddle with your fingers as the anxiety threatens to overwhelm you.
"Thank you for this." You say, looking up at Billy, before looking away.
He's dressed in his work clothes- suit and tie, looking at you so carefully that you feel like he can see so much more of you that you'd care to admit.
"I'm glad you called." Billy says, voice low, taking a step back to let you lock up, "Didn't like the idea of you trying to go down there alone."
You let out a dry laugh.
"I tried, but I just couldn't do it." You say to him.
"You look like you haven't slept." His voice is gentle, like a welcome hand on your back, rubbing circles to calm you.
You smile sadly at him.
"I haven't- I- I can't-"
"It's okay, we'll figure it out." Billy says, reassuring you that nothing you're going through is abnormal in any way.
You reach for his hand, squeezing it gently.
"Thank you." You say, trying to express your earnesty, glad to have someone as understanding as him with you.
His car is... sublime.
Gorgeous, sleek in its aerodynamic design.
You're not too familiar with car models, but you catch the BMW logo on the front of the black car, smiling as he opens the passenger door for you.
You settle yourself in, admiring the supple interior, and the simplicity of it.
"Honestly, this is not what I thought you drove." You confess to him when he climbs into the car.
The engine absolutely purrs to live, revving beautifully, tingling your eardrums with the low sound.
"What did you think I drove?" Billy asks, raising an eyebrow at you.
It suddenly made you aware that you may have been about to tell him you thought he was extravagant.
"Okay, I just realised what I thought you drove made zero sense and I would like to retract my comment."
He grins at you, deviousness leeching out of his every pore. It makes you simmer with delight.
"No way, tell me."
"Well, I thought someone like you- CEO of a company that is- drove what other CEOs of companies tend to drive."
"An Aston? Lamborghini? Ferrari?"
"All of the above?" You supply with a light hint of an apology in your tone.
He laughs, and the sound is nothing short of divine. You wanted to memorize the funniest jokes just to hear him laugh again.
"I'm not that ostentatious. I run a security company, being unseen is my ally, and luxury cars like that are just impractical."
"I guess that makes sense." You mumble, deep in thought.
"But I have to admit that I did buy a Royce the first year my company lifted off."
"Of course you did." You tease lightly, with no malicious intent behind your words.
He gives you a little lift of his shoulder.
"It's the little things sometimes."
How easy talking to him was, so very dangerous in so many ways, you were always just two steps shy of flirting with him. He made talking to him so simple, made you forget about ever being anxious in the first place.
You were definitely in trouble.
.
"That's it?" You asked when the officer returns your bag to you, informing you that the items were left behind when the suspects realised they were being chased.
"What about my jewellery?" You ask, heart squeezing in your chest.
She gives you an apologetic shake of her head.
"Jewellery is usually a lot harder to recover, it might have already been pawned off. We'll keep an eye out, but I wouldn't get my hopes up."
Your heart sinks. You nod, thanking her before turning and walking back to a waiting Billy.
"I got my laptop and wallet back." You murmur, avoiding his dark eyes, trying very hard not to cry in front of your boss.
"That's everything?" He asks, "Do you want to go home?"
You swallow, nodding quickly and walking past him.
You hold this awful, rotten feeling inside of you all the way back to his car, but when you get in, and you close the door, the tears refuse to be ignored any longer.
Billy says your name with concern when he notices you crying.
You let out a shaky sob.
"I'm sorry." You whimper, pressing your face into your hands to hide from him as you weep pathetically.
It takes all of a second before he's pulling you against him, your bodies at an odd angle to allow you to fit against each other with the centre console of the car in the way.
"What is it?" He asks, "What's wrong?"
You lean against him, hands gripping at his bicep in an attempt to pull comfort from him.
"I knew the odds of getting the necklace back but I was hoping it wouldn't be true." You start, reaching into your bag and finding your packet of tissues hidden in the lining.
"I just- I know it's not that important in the scheme of things but-" you sigh, "-I really loved that necklace."
"It is important. If you loved it, then it's important. Don't lose hope, you can still get it back." Billy tries to soothe, his warm breath on your cheek, so maddeningly close.
You cry against him a little bit more.
"It just made me feel safe. After- after every terrible thing that happened. It made me feel like I was being protected by something much bigger than myself. But-" You shudder out a sad breath, "-not even that is true."
His arms tighten around you.
.
He wants to make so many promises to you in that moment.
Billy wants to promise that he'll do everything he can to keep you safe, that he's here no matter what. He breathes in your scent and squeezes his eyes shut and hates that he'd given someone the opportunity to lay their hands on you.
His sweet girl didn't deserve this, and Billy was going to do everything in his power to get you that necklace back.
You were his to protect, above all else.
.
You fall asleep on the drive back to your place, a sudden bout of traffic turning the ten minute drive into thirty minutes.
There's just something about being around him, that slows every rushing thought in your head, you find yourself so relaxed in his presence and before you know it, you're asleep in minutes. The events of the last two days have taken a toll, and you sleep so deeply that you don't register a single thing.
You don't wake, not even when he picks you up, scooping you into his arms so easily that you would be amazed if you weren't asleep.
He places you in bed, tugging your shoes off, before dimming the lights.
You only truly wake up, when you hear your bedroom door open, an indication that he was leaving.
"Billy." You call out for him, fighting to sit up, rubbing one eye to regain your focus.
He's paused at the door, looking back at you.
"Can you stay a little longer? Just until I get to sleep?" You let out a little sigh, "I've asked a lot of you already, so you can say no, I won't hold it against you. But I just-"
"I get it." Billy says, interrupting. He turns from the door, moving confidently to your bed, and carefully placing himself on top.
It's kind of hilarious, he's still in his finely pressed work shirt and pants, having shed his jacket and tie at some unobservable point. If you were more comfortable with him, you would have insisted that he change before lying beside you.
But your level of exhaustion is too great to worry about anything, not lying in bed beside your boss, and definitely not moving closer to him till you're almost touching but not exactly.
You look up at him with sleepy eyes, and he carefully raises a hand to your cheek to brush some of your hair out of your face.
"Thank you." You murmur, taking his hand in yours, pressing the warm appendage to your chilled cheek.
You can't help it in your sleepy state, curling closer to him, head resting in the crook of his arm.
"Just five minutes," you try to reason with him as if he's protesting in any kind of way, "Just until I get to sleep."
"I'm here." He says softly, as you drift off in the depths of his scent.
.
He stays for an hour after you fall asleep, trying very hard to talk himself into getting up and leaving.
It's just that you look so at peace, your head resting on his bicep that is half asleep with the loss of circulation.
The beast purrs, subdued, inside of him, eager to look at you, and be near to you, though he knows he shouldn't stay.
He's not taking advantage, he doesn't want you to even think he was capable. Billy has spent years curating a steady hand on his self control, only to have you rip right through it like its paper in five minutes with your bare hands and a sweet smile.
What would an eternity of this feel like? He wonders. How often would he find himself lost in your strawberry scent if he could?
His mouth waters.
He shudders in a deep breath.
You hum, drawing closer to him, he swallows when your palm connects with his clothed chest.
His eyes fall on the scratches at your neck, he tilts his head, studying it with careful eyes. He memorises the look of them, the way they make him feel. He latches onto the emotion, plants a seed of rage inside himself, watered by the beast's thirst for retribution.
Someone had dared to hurt you, and thought they were capable of getting away with it.
Billy needed to send a message.
One that would not be misunderstood.
.
You wake up alone.
Groaning angrily after a night of such peaceful sleep only to wake up and realized that he'd left just like you'd asked him to.
Was it too much to wish that he'd stayed? That he couldn't help himself and fell asleep beside you?
Of course it was, and it was a very dangerous, no good thought.
He was your boss, he was in control of your salary, you shouldn't be pining over him like some lovesick puppy.
The lines between personal and professional had been painfully blurred since the moment you'd started working for him, maybe even before, and yet still you wished it would blur farther.
What would waking up next to him be like? Hell, what would seeing him asleep be like? Would the harsh lines of his face soften till you couldn't tell his age? Would he make little sounds as he slept?
And then the scariest thought of all comes to mind.
Did he even want that with you?
Probably not, considering that he's left your 'Thank you again for last night' text on fucking read.
It was worse than not reading it. It had been hours since the read receipt was activated and yet still, he hadn't responded.
Maybe he was busy, you try to not let it get to you, deciding to go through your laptop and see if anything was tampered with in the meantime.
You still find difficulty in leaving your apartment. You try for hours, sitting at your open front door in an attempt to get used to the idea of it.
Everytime you try to leave your heart starts racing, your body shakes, all you can think about is what terrible fate would befall you next.
Thankfully, after a quick call to your therapist, she suggests starting smaller, with an open window.
It's how you end up on your balcony, sitting next to Dani's gift, soaking in the sunlight.
This was nice, this was good, outside was not something to be scared of.
But facing Billy's home- just reminded you of him.
Still left on read, you drop your phone angrily.
What did you want? A romantic relationship with him? That wasn't sustainable at all. You should definitely just avoid him, the way he was no doubt avoiding you.
Your hand spreads over your bare throat and you let out a sad sigh.
You wished you could feel safe again.
When night comes, you can't sleep once more. There's no Billy here to put you at ease, nothing to make you feel safe and warm and protected. The worries in your head are too loud, there's an agony to not being able to relax in your own home.
Amy is sympathetic to your plight, staying on the phone with you as long as possible until she inevitably falls asleep, and you're left alone once more with a world of thoughts.
You hadn't gotten any other type of communication from whoever had taken that photo of you. Had they given up? Or lost you after you changed both your address and your job?
Something in the back of your head, maybe fear, or just past experience, told you that things probably wouldn't be over that easily.
A sound catches your attention, as you gaze off into your room deep in thought, echoing through the apartment before it reaches you.
You raise your head, your heart pounding as you realise it's coming from the front door.
Was someone trying to break in? You reach for your phone, trying to be as quiet as possible as you climb off your bed.
Who should you call? Billy? No, it was 2am you should see what it was first.
As you get closer, you register that it sounds like soft scratching, a very strange sound for a potential thief to be making.
"Hello?" You call through the door, perplexed at the sound.
When there's a low rumble back at you, you take a deep breath and unlock the door quickly, pulling it open with a rush.
You squeak in surprise.
Midnight black fur, golden brown eyes looking up at you.
The panther, sitting patiently at your door.
"What the hell?" You say in disbelief, taking a step back, hands covering your mouth in shock.
There was a large beast sitting at your door.
The panther, somehow taking this as an invitation, stands, and walks slowly toward you.
You can't believe it, was this a prank or had you gone insane? How had a dangerous animal of this size gotten into your apartment building in the first place?
You step backwards as it approaches, taking slow steps as if it's somehow trying to put you at ease.
Your body smacks into the side of your couch and you stiffen as it gets close enough to touch you.
A soft head bumps against your thigh, your mouth parts with shock at the greeting.
There's a little purring sound it makes as it rubs its head over your thigh gently, eerily similar to what it did the last time you encountered it.
Last time...
Before it had saved you from a knife wielding serial killer.
"It's you." You say, in absolute surprise, your body building a strange cocktail of shock and calm inside of you.
The panther rumbles in something akin to agreement as if to say, 'yes, hello again.'
You reach for the large cat, shaky hands smoothing into the butter soft fur on its head, after a moment, when you realise there's no immediate threat, you let out a laugh of surprise.
It closes its eyes, nuzzling easily into your palms.
"Hey pretty boy." You murmur eagerly, speaking to him in a light tone that you can tell he loves based on the way he continues to purr, a deep vibration against your palms as you bring your face closer to his to rub your head against his affectionately.
He pulls away after a second, and you watch with an open mouth as he casually walks his way deeper into your aparment.
You move to follow before remembering that your front door is still open.
After hastily shutting your front door, you follow after where you saw him last, finding that your bedroom door has been pushed open at the end of your hallway.
There you find the large predator, lying on your bed.
You approach a little cautiously, very confused about what was going on.
He drops his head, and from his mouth, something shiny and gold falls onto your bedsheets.
The panther looks up at you eagerly as you move closer to investigate.
It was your necklace.
You gasp, reaching for it, picking it up to examine the little pendant eagerly, a little symbol of the large beast in front of you, dangling from a delicate gold chain.
You don't hesitate, clasping it around your neck excitedly before moving to your little vanity to examine yourself in the mirror.
The panther had brought your necklace back.
The panther... was in the city with you.
You turn to study the predator on your bed, and it looks back at you in kind, its tail twitching in what you assume is contentment on your bed.
How had this panther gotten all this way without being caught? Had someone trained it to bring this to you?
You tilt your head, and blink in astonishment when the panther also tilts its head to mimic you. When you straighten your head, it does the same.
You didn't think this was just another trained animal, there was something in its eyes, an understanding that you weren't familiar with.
You were probably going crazy, hallucinating, or maybe this was a dream.
You look down, counting your fingers. Not a dream.
This was real.
There was a real panther in your bed.
Or was it?
"Can you... understand me?" You ask, almost absurdly to the animal.
Its answer is to flop onto its side with a big huff.
"Is that a yes?"
Another huff of breath.
You approach the beast slowly, sitting at the edge of your bed, reaching out to touch one big paw, its fur so soft you're almost addicted to the way it feels.
"You're..... not.... jut a panther are you?"
A flick of its tail, the flex of its paw to show off the very sharp claws hidden between toes. You retract your hand at the sight of such a deadly appendage.
"Are you... also a human?" You ask, aware of how certifiably insane you sounded.
What other explaination was there? How had a panther brought you back a necklace? How had it known how to get to you?
The beast takes a deep breath, letting out another sharp huff.
You gaze away for a long time, your brain scrambled with too many thoughts, too many rushing ideas and reactions.
After a second you look back into its golden eyes.
"That was a yes?"
A huff.
You gulp, turning away, sitting at the edge of the bed trying to process the information given to you.
Shapeshifters? Shapeshifters were a thing?
"Oh god." You say, almost sick to your stomach at the implication.
As if it senses your distress, the panther crawls closer, and rests its large head onto your lap. Automatically, you raise a hand to stroke its head. Almost immediately, an arrangement of soft purring starts up, its eyes closing easily..
You can't help smiling, hands roaming over its ears, watching them with amusement as they flicker and twitch.
"You're kind of cute." You say to it- to him.
His response is to let out a soft sigh.
You observe him, admiring the way he looks, eyes drawn to the peek of teeth jutting out from his mouth.
"You're kind of scary too."
He peeks an eye open to look at you.
"Will you show me who you are?" You ask.
It's the wrong thing to say, because the panther's response is to pull away from you.
He stands on your bed, giving you his back and lying down facing away from you.
"Message received." You mumble.
You sit and stare at his back, raising your hand to touch the pendant around your neck, thinking quietly about everything.
The situation is absurd, beyond that even, there's no words to describe what you're going through. You can't seem to figure out why you're so calm, as if there was a puzzle piece in your head that has always been there, but just sitting in the wrong spot.
Now, things are just clicking into place, making more and more sense, but also showing you a side of the world that you didn't even know existed.
You feel your body overheat with the amount of thinking you're doing, you're not sure how you can even continue to exist with this knowledge-
You don't even realise you're unable to breathe until you wheeze out a gasp.
The panther, hearing just a single sound of distress, turns to face you quickly.
The bed dips as he stands and approaches.
"It's a lot." You whisper, looking up at the predator, tears blurring your vision.
His furry head bumps your cheek, an attempt to soothe you through your little freak out.
You feel him nudge you into a reclined position, and you let him, because you're too caught up in your shock to process anything really happening around you.
The panther grips your duvet in his teeth, and pulls it up till it covers your shoulders.
Slipping under it beside you, you study your hands intently, your focus.only breaking when he pops his furry head as close to your face as possible without touching.
You pause your self destructive thinking to study him, hand automatically trailing from the top of his head down his back.
It calms you, and after a few moments like that, you suck in an easy breath.
"You saved my life." You say to him, watching his ear twitch as you glide your hands over them. He doesn't react, merely looking at you while you're deep in thought.
You rest beside him, eyes drooping involuntarily, trying to stay awake and memorise the look of this animal in your bed with every sense you can.
"Thank you." Is the last thing you whisper quietly, voice just above a whisper, burying your head into his neck, admiring the silky feeling of fur on your cheek as you drift off right to sleep.
When you wake up in the morning, you almost think it was all a dream. That is, until you raise a hand to your neck, and you feel the warm gold necklace dangling from your neck.
Maybe you weren't as unprotected as you thought.
.
.
.
#werepanther!billy russo#billy russo#monster!billyrusso#billy russo x reader#monster!billy#monster!billy russo#billy russo x female reader#my writings#the punisher#billy russo smut#ben barnes#billy russo fanfic#billy russo fanfiction#billy russo fic
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COMFORT- M. MURDOCK
Pairing: Boyfriend! Matt x Fem! Reader
Word Count: 850
Summary: matt helps comfort you during a panic attack
Warnings: panic attack, anxiety, sensory issues, mentions of getting sick, praise, lots of fluff
Notes: i wrote this while having airport/ airplane anxiety this morning, as i woke up bright n early so i had a lot of time to think. then my flight got cancelled, rebooked, then cancelled again. so im stuck here till tomorrow :) (i want to cry. also airport wifi sucks so bad btw)
He could hear your heartbeat miles away.
Fast.
Thrumming so hard it was as if it was a motor engine, constantly revving but instead of speeding off into the night- it sputtered.
Your breaths were fast. Irregular. Panting raggedly, as if you were a dog.
Hands clutched to your knees, a steady creaking against the old hardwood as you rocked yourself in a ball on the floor.
The two of you left for the airport in less than an hour. Matt had taken care of all the flights, him and Foggy triple-checking everything to make sure everything was booked, purchased and on time. Luggage was packed for your little getaway planned in Central America, zipped up tightly waiting by the door.
But you remained put on the floor, feeling the grooves of your long nails dig into your skin, pinching little crescent moon shapes as your lungs struggled for air.
“Sweetheart?” he called from the doorway, shaking the rain from his coat off as he hung it up to dry.
No response.
Your tongue felt like millions of weights were pulling it down, inflaming it so you were unable to speak. Nothing but dry saliva coated your mouth like a thick paste.
“What's going on love? Can you explain how you’re feeling?”
He knew there was no point asking whether or not you were okay when clearly- you weren't. You were having a panic attack, something that you got very often. Changes in your routine tended to set it off, or things like big crowds or loud noises.
Matt knew your mind was racing with endless possibilities of what could go wrong. You had expressed them to him last week.
What if we miss our flight? Or there is too many people and I’m trapped? Or I feel sick and have nowhere to go? Matthew what if our flight gets cancelled? Or the gates? There's going to be so many people there, all so stressed and non-self aware.
Something was wrong when you called him Matthew instead of Matty. That was always the first indicator he picked up on.
“‘m just anxious.” you whispered softly, voice low and rough as if you had just discovered you could talk for the first time. He softly padded over to a window, opening it just a smidge so fresh air could sneak through the crack, and the sound of the rain pattering against the glass was amplified.
“Can I touch you sweetheart?” he asked politely, crouching down next to you.
You nodded.
Warmth spread through your body as his large arms wrapped around your body, shielding you from the outside world. “Okay. Let's just breathe together okay? Just follow with me.”
He took a deep inhale through his nose, to which you shakily followed. A deep exhale escaped from your lips as you followed the rise and fall of his chest, breathing in his comforting smell as your fingers made there way to twist and tangle in the fabric of his shirt.
“Thats it, atta girl. You're doing such a good job!” he praised, letting you cling to him as you slowed down your breathing- expanding your lungs again.
“We’re going to take this one step at a time okay? It’s going to be okay, I’m never going to leave your side. Security is the scary part. Then we just wait in a quiet part until we get on the plane. And it’s just a two hour flight, and you've done much longer car rides than that.”
“But what if I’m sick?” you asked timidly.
“Then we’ll deal with it when it happens. We’ll scout out all the washrooms and there is one on the plane sweetheart. I’ll hold your hair back I promise.” he joked, making you sniffle as you giggled.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Good. Let’s just get some water into you, and we can get your headphones and fuzzy sweater for you to wear. It’s going to be just fine angel.” he kissed the top of your forehead, stroking your cheeks with his thumb, the callouses on the flesh of his fingertips bringing you a sense of comfort.
You watched through slightly clouded vision as he swiftly went over to pour you some water from the Britta you nagged him to buy, and you heard the pills rattle from the bottle as he dropped a gravol or two in his hand.
“I’m tired.” you murmured. Your thumbs were bleeding, and you felt the sticky blood smear as you tried to stop it.
“I know baby. You can sleep soon. I promise.” he assured, coaxing water down to quell your thirstiness as you swallowed the ginger pill.
“I need my headphones.” you said, attempting to find your balance as you wobbled up to your feet.
“I have them here sweetheart.” he smiled, grabbing them from the luggage- leaving them out for you just in case. Siding them over your head, the world was slightly muffled and you exhaled.
It was quiet. It would be quiet. And you could do this.
“Ready?” he asked. “Ready.”
“Good, cause we have sunshine and margaritas waiting for us.”
#matt murdock#daredevil#matt murdock fanfiction#matt murdock fanfic#matt murdock fluff#matt murdock fic#matt murdock smut#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock x you#matt murdock x y/n#daredevil fanfiction#daredevil fic#daredevil fluff#daredevil x you#daredevil x reader#daredevil x y/n#charlie cox
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how to properly heal
~ my comeback post !! please pick one pile :) ~
———
pile 1
the magician - queen of wands - the high priestess - 10 of wands - 9 of pentacles - 10 of cups - 4 of cups
really quickly my lights flickered extremely fast that may or may not be a sign? pile 1 you are a very resistant group at times. you WANT change you WANT to move on from this and get better but there’s fear. there’s a sense of anxiety when it finally comes to actually changing. you are a very strong pile mentally but your battle cry is terrifying. i see you may be someone who carry’s a lot of burdens and for a lot of you i’m seeing this being from family. lots and lots of family trauma in this pile. pile 1 you are a very psychic pile as well. speak to the universe. let them hear what you really want don’t hold back. you can receive anything you want. but? take that brick off your chest. untie those sandbags that weigh down your shoulders. you didn’t put them there in the first place so WHY should they stay? some of you may be sooo scared of spending too much money. go on a shopping spree. go crazy. text up an old friend. one you haven’t talked to in a while. text a grandparent of yours. they would love to hear from you right now. pile 1 you’re very resistant right now but you know if you move on your life will become better. so why are you holding back? don’t let this life changing moment go away. snatch it up. don’t let it go. it’s meant to be yours so let it be yours. if you look away from this you won’t see another just as amazing as this one. pile 1 you want to properly heal? change how you live. life feel like it’s repeating? don’t let that make you lose your sanity. one small thing you change day to day will make you feel human again. pile 1 i’m seeing that if you just change how you live for yourself and not for others you could heal. smoother and more balanced. you will come out of this feeling like you’ve accomplished more goals in your life then ever before.
(as i’m typing this i saw 222. this is a sign.)
pile 2
death - the emperor rev - 2 of pentacles - 3 of pentacles rev - the star rev - the chariot - 7 of swords - 10 of swords - queen of wands - 2 of wands - ace of wands - temperance - 2 of swords
getting rid of old habits. i heard old habits being people. getting rid of things that no longer serve you for good. finding balance in your day to day life with things you ACTUALLY enjoy. you’re too bored constantly. you feel so slumped and angry and bored because your environment is just one big dump. get out of there fast! go outside go see a friend go out to eat. do something other than being THERE. (this can also refer to thinking differently. get out of that gloomy mindset. think about things that actually matter.) you feel so tired right now. go get that rest. you’ve been sleeping too much? get up and do a walk around wherever you are. stretch your legs. pick up the things in your life that offer you a good future full of abundance and clarity. leave what DOESNT!!!!! oh wow some of you really need to kill of that old you. the death card and ten of swords are screaming START OVERRRR. really think this time. what do you want to do with your life and how do you want to live it? where do you want to go in the future and what will you do to reach those goals? the universe is offering you out a hand an offering. take this as a time to really sit and think. think about yourself. you’re mostly in a battle with yourself at this time. it doesn’t have to stay this way forever. start living a life where you’re in control and not living by others rules. you’re in control. take back the life you always deserved to live.
pile 3
4 of wands rev - 5 of swords - knight of swords rev - knight of wands rev - death - page of cups rev - 6 of cups rev - the moon rev - 6 of pentacles - 7 of wands rev - 8 of cups rev
soooo many reversals for this pile o.m.g. pile 3 not even a hug can fix your wounded heart. lol in all seriousness. pile 3 recently you’ve been in a LOT of conflict. and some of you hate to admit it… you’re the ones who start it a lot of the time. this doesn’t mean you WANT conflict hearsay. but you are someone who is a force to be reckoned with at times. take what i say personally because this is a biggggg wake up call to some of you. there are people in your life who love love love to see you fail. they crave the validation of watching you mess up in life. don’t believe me? how many so called friends actually are worried about how YOU feel? if you haven’t been able to open up with somebody due to fear or someone’s lack of interest they are NOT your friend. they’re an energy vampire. get rid of these people immediately. you may also experience a lack of focus recently followed with extreme frustrations. do some shadow work. why are you feeling these emotions? they’re not just showing up out of thin air. where are you when you feel these emotions? at home ? with a friend ? at work ? etc. what is happening in this setting that is making you feel such frustration? somebody talking too loud ? a loud chewer ? or just merely being there in the first place ? figure out what this reason is and try to understand it. maybe if your willing copy that thing. does it feel good to do? or does it only make you angrier? a lot of you cannot move on and properly heal because you’re stuck in the past. something has hurt you in your past badly but you can’t seem to let it go. you feel fearful? you’re very similar to pile 1. you’re afraid of change? some of you have become very very comfortable in this dark part of you. you’re afraid of leaving this headspace because you’ve lived in it for so long. start giving to others more? ask people how they’re feeling and about their day. soon enough you’ll see a change. more interactions less frustration. but don’t just ask other people, ask yourself. how are you feeling today? are you comfortable right now? what are you feeling is yummy for lunch/dinner? etc. do NOT by any means get up and walk away from this. you are capable of becoming that desired you. don’t let these thoughts interfere with your way of life; you are worth it.
#tarot#taystarotoverload#wicca#astrology#natal#pick a pile#pick a card#pick a card reading#tarot pac#shadow work#shadow work reading#healing#healing era#healing tarot
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Sometimes the Wallpaper is Just Yellow: A Heartslabyul Color Analysis
This research was inspired by this post by @mothman-files! I am so sorry for @ing you please let me know if you want me to remove it and I will do so ASAP. Thank you for sending my head into a tail spin, I've learned a lot of stuff.
After reading mothman's musings, you might be thinking to yourself like I did: "hey, there is something familiar about red, blue, yellow, and green color coding." And it is, as mothman correctly points out in the notes of their post it is an extremely common trope in anime. The reason was both exactly and not not at all what I expected after I resurfaced from this little detour I took from fic writing.
How well do you know the colors of your oni? Because that's more important than card suits for this particular trope, but to make it all make sense I am going to go through each of the Heartslabyul boys one by one saving Cater for last. With that being said, pack your bags and grab some beans we are going to learn some meditation techniques.
Setsubun and the Beaning of Life
No seriously. It all relates back to beans. As a refresher for those unaware, Setsubun is a Japanese festival celebrated at the start February, the day before spring starts on the Japanese Lunar calendar. It is typically part of Lunar New Year celebrations today, and if you know anything about it from anime you probably know that it's that holiday where the Japanese throw beans at demons to chase them away so they can start the new year without their evil influences. What kind of evil influences? Well according to Buddhist belief there are five main ones that are referred to as the five hindrances: sensory desire (i.e. greed), ill-will (i.e. anger), disquietude (i.e. anxiety), sloth (i.e. unable to make decisions), and doubt (i.e. self explanatory).
Now why is this all relevant? Well I saw it repeated again and again, on some articles about Setsuban that the oni who appear during the festival are COLOR CODED and fucking finally thanks to this beautiful, beautiful person called Matthew Meyer (the Yokai Guy) on Patreon of all places! I found out why. Because a professor of History named Yagi Tōru said so and I am inclined to believe as he is the president of the World Oni Study Society! Which is a thing! And he has written textbooks?!?! I get that this might be a tangent but it is important to me you understand I am not pulling this out of my ass, there is scholarship on this I am not lying to you. So what are those colors?
Red Oni (Greed) Blue Oni (Anger)
The only reason I even tried looking at this angle was because of these two. Everyone say thank you to Aduece. You might have heard "the Red Oni Who Cried" folktale in an anime or two (My Love Story is the first that comes to mind for me) and it is thought to have spawned a sort of character trope in anime. There's a hot headed red coded character and their intellectual blue bestie, or maybe they're twins (FFXIV and Tokyo Rev jump to mind), one of them jumps first and the other asks all sorts of questions, both now and later. When I first saw Aduece I thought they were a clever twist on that trope because they're both trying to fit those color molds but... aren't really making it.
Ace wants to portray himself as an easygoing guy who doesn't think too much about things, but we know that's not true. He is extremely smart, he just refuses to put in maximum effort unless forced. I don't think it's too much of a stretch to classify him as greedy either, but when you are sharing the stage with Azul it can be easy to forget that greed isn't always accompanied by a great work ethic. Ace cheats at cards, makes a deal for a study guide he doesn't need, and sucks up to his senpai's all to make things easier on himself. What he actually needs to do is work bitch and when he does that and only then will he realize his true potential.
Deuce, poor ex-delinquent Deuce. He does think about things before he does them and constantly lectures Ace for just doing whatever he wants without thinking, but he is far from naturally intelligent and prone to outbursts of anger. As soon as he looses his temper, he also looses his rational thought, but he accepts that about himself. That's what allows him to discover his unique magic, he knows he has his own sort of intelligence and is determined to work on what he does not.
Green Oni (Sloth)
I don't really think it is revolutionary to say Trey is a bit of a slacker when it comes to addressing interpersonal issues. He finds it easier to try and keep the peace or manage the fallout than directly address the problem at hand, and he is resistant to doing additional work not assigned by his housewarden. Or required by the school, just look at how "excited" he was to be a starsender. If he was any more unhinged he would have started throwing hands. Sloth as a sin isn't strictly just about being lazy. Apathy, a lack of reaction towards something like say, your friend's control freak tendencies that is clearly him acting out his own trauma can qualify as sloth.
I would like to add, though, that I don't really think it was Trey's responsibility to tell Riddle he was going overboard. That should have been Crowley's job, but that's another post. For now just take green as a sign of dodging emotions and let's go.
Yellow Oni (Disquietude)
As pointed out by mothman-files, Cater is supposed to be yellow, but he is more often portrayed with reds and oranges, pinks even, than yellow. Like them, I don't think it is a coincidence he is associated with orange when that's what happens when you mix red and yellow together. Cater is taking on what he perceives to be the identity of his dorm, and he is extremely dissatisfied, disquieted, and anxious because of that.
Something I think should be considered, NRC freshmen are sixteen years old. Cater is a third year, he's spent around two and a half years at NRC, two and a half years that were relatively stable compared to what he tells us about his previous schooling. I think that he has some genuine dissonance in him that is getting harder for him to ignore because he has played this role longer than the ones he has played previously. Cater the Heartslabyul student, the NRC mage, that is who he is now, and I wonder if he knows how he got to this point or if he feels like he just woke up in someone else's body someday and doesn't know if he likes it.
What's worse is I think he does like his friends, and he is suddenly confronted with how little they actually know about him, what could be more anxiety inducing than that.
Black Oni? (Press X to Doubt)
I don't think Riddle is meant to be the black oni, but I do think it's interesting that the color black is associated with doubt and loss of ones convictions when that is essentially both the cause and color of an overblot. Idia and S.T.Y.X. seem to be focused on emotion + extreme magic use to be what's causing the blot... but the more I roll chapter 7 and all the reading I did for this post around in my head it seems to me that overblots like the ones at NRC seem to be tied to a loss of identity and the shattering of one's perceived reality.
I would also like to mention that I have no idea if any of the cited folklore has anything to do with Yana Toboso's mindset when she created these characters. She seems to be someone who does a lot of research and thinks deeply about symbolism, but this color coding and its associated vices can be found in a lot of anime. She could have just picked up on it from that.
I hope you found this descent into madness informative, and if not at least entertaining. Thank you for your time, I am going to go eat a cookie.
Semi Unrelated Fun Facts:
A lot of this brainrot was inspired by Amnesia, as I stated in a post I already made, but I also was thinking about the song YELLOW by Yoh Kamiyama which I don't fully understand the meaning of, but think it is supposedly about being trapped in a false reality from some of the things I've read.
Back to Amnesia, the yellow diamond in that Visual Novel (I haven't watched the anime adaptation because they did my man Kieth dirty) is the yandere route. Which made me start to think about how often yellow is used as a color for characters with identity issues, like Sailor Venus from Sailor Moon and Amu from Sugo Chara! and led to... this mess
According to this thing I found while trying to look for the professor Yagi Tōru he has a son who is a male voice actor???? I don't have time to look this up someone else do it please.
Please check out the Yokai Guy. You can join his patreon for free, his art is lovely and he saved my sanity. I cannot read Japanese so I almost didn't bother saying anything about this because I knew I wouldn't be able to provide an academic source for it, and that's important to me as someone who has a love of history. Also he has a kick-starter up for an illustrated book of folklore, did I mention his art is lovely?
And lastly a lovely hello to @somany-fandoms-solittle-time who kindly asked to be tagged in this post (つ≧▽≦)つ I hope you liked it.
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#cater diamond#trey clover#ace trappola#deuce spade#riddle rosehearts
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Book recommendations: queer adult fantasy romance
This is a relatively new genre. Before, pretty much all YA fantasy books are heavy on the romance, but that's becoming more popular in adult, creating fantasy romance as a genre. I read mostly queer fantasy romance. Unfortunately, there aren't many traditionally published ones yet, I think the top rowin the left picture is all of them (if there are any I didn't know of, please let met know). I've excluded sci-fi romance for this post (which is why Winter's Orbit isn't here).
In indie books, I think there are some more, but I'm not super familiar with the indie market. The bottom three in the left picture are all indie books that also come in paperback (many are ebook only and I don't have an ereader). Most of these books I have talked about before but not all of them.
A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland
This is a prince/bodyguard romance set in a kingdom inspired by the Ottoman empire. Kadou is the queen's younger brother, and after a mistake puts him in a bad situation with his sister and the body father of her child, he has to help her uncover a conspiracy to do with forged money.
He gets a new bodyguard, which in this case has both the task of being a guard and being a personal attendant. Evemer hates Kadou at first. He's very duty bound and thinks Kadou does not take his duties as prince seriously.
But they will have to trust each other if they want to get to the bottom of that forged money conspiracy.
Evemer is a very stoic guy. He doesn't talk much. He can go entire days only saying 'Yes, my prince' 'no, my prince' or simply 'my prince' when he tries to convey he is annoyed or disagrees.
Kadou has very well written anxiety, and deals with this in numerous ways, including at first drinking far too much wine to dull his fears. Evemer is at first very judgemental, but over time he comes to understand Kadou better.
There's lots of discussion of ethics in this book, partially to establish how a relationship between them could happen without there being a power imbalance because of it.
Also by this author: several self published books, in 2024 comes their next trad published book, Running Close to the Wind, which is a queer pirate book pitches as Our Flag Means Death x Six of Crows
A Marvellous Light & a Restless Truth by Freya Marske I've already talked about several time
And yet I'm going to do it again. I love the each book features a different couple structure and I'd love to see this more often. It's a great way to have many different major characters but also give all of them their moment to shine and have properly development instead of trying to balance three romances in the same book.
The overarching plot in the trilogy has to do with the conspiracy Robin and Edwin begin to uncover in the first book, something that threatens all magicians of england.
A Marvellous Light features a himbo x librarian m/m couple. They're the softest, sweetest couple of the three in the trilogy to be sure, and I'm planning to reread soon.
A Restless Truth features a sapphic rake x wallflower couple. They're both very chaotic, and I love Maud's energy, as well as the whole sexual awakening arc she has in here, which is so funny.
The third as of yet unpublished book is a Power Unbound, featuring a couple that I think is grump x sunshine but in a asshole x asshole way and it sounds like it's going to be amazing so definitely keep an eye out for that one coming November.
A Strange and Stubborn Endurance by Foz Meadows
This is one I don't think I've talked about before. Before reading this, definitely check the content warnings. There's a pretty graphic rape scene very early in the book, as well as several moments of suicidal ideation. That said, this is a healing story, and the character this happens to is doing a lot better when the story ends.
Vel is a prince who ends up in an arranged marriage to a noble girl from a different kingdom. When his preference for men is revealed in a pretty awful way, his family is ready to disown him. But the envoy of his betrothed's family had a better idea, marry his former intended's brother instead.
But before Vel arrives at the castle of his betrothed, he is attacked and nearly killed by assassins who clearly do not want his marriage to take place.
When attacks keep happening after Vel and Cae have gotten married, they will have to rely on each other to figure out what's going.
I love queer arranged marriages in stories, like in Winter's Orbit, so I was super excited when I first found out about this book. This book ends with everything wrapped up, but there is a sequel coming out this December. Unfortunately, that's still pretty far away, but there has been a cover reveal and blurb. The sequel will feature the same main characters.
Then to the indie books
Prince of the Sorrows and Lord of Silver Ashes
These are the first two books in the Rowan Blood series, which the author intends to be an eight book series in total. But since it's an indie series and the author is a pretty fast writer, they come pretty fast after one another. The first one came out last March, and the second one October, and the author released a different book this February. The next book in this series is schedule for late spring somewhere.
This series is set in a fae world, with a parallel historical human world we don't see much of.
Saffron is a beantighe, which is a human servant who is raised in the fae world after his parents made a deal with the fae. His patron sends all these children back to the human world once they become too old, but Saffron wants nothing more to stay in the fae world. To do that, he'll need an academic endorsement from a fae so he can stay and study.
When he accidentally finds out the true name of prince Cylvan, the two strike a deal, Saffron will help him find a way to remove the power on his true name, and Cylvan will give Saffron an endorsement. The only problem is, Saffron has no clue what he's doing and barely taught himself to read.
In the meantime, beantighes are getting killed one after another by a mysterious person known as "the wolf" and it will be up to Saffron to stop the killer, because no one else will.
The first book ends on a cliffhanger, but the second is a bit more wrapped up so I'm not sure what's going to happen in the next book since there will definitely be more. Fortunately, the wait is not super long, but the release date and covers are released much later than for trad publishing
Last is the Fox & the Dryad by Kellen Graves
This book is set in the same world as the Rowan Blood series, but it is a standalone in the modern time period.
Briar is a ballet dancer, and while he enchants many people on the stage, he cannot get the attention of the one person they really want to notice them. So they strike a deal with a fae lady, if he can perform one perfect dance she'll make him the most enchanting thing on two legs. Of course, a dance is never perfect and now he's stuck dancing for the fae lady whenever she asks him too, despite him getting worn out and injured from it.
Malric is the son of said fae lady and used to be a dancer himself. All his siblings are artists and their mother abuses their talents to entertain people at her revels, all at their cost. Malric left, but he finds out his mother struck a deal with Briar, who is now his replacement. Malric wants to rescue Briar, and tries to help him posing as his new dance teacher in the human world as well as a mysterious masked fey lord at the revels. But then he starts developing feelings for Briar, and he has to ask himself if what he's doing is really helping him.
This book takes place a lot more in the human world than the main Rowan Blood series, which ballet playing a big role which I think was done really well. Briar is a masc enby and uses he/they pronouns, and use alters through the book. I think this is the author's best book so far and if you're not looking to get invested in a long unfinished series yet I would try this one first and maybe start Rowan Blood afterwards.
I'll probably do trans characters next as the Wicked Bargain has arrived and I'll start reading it tomorrow
@alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @life-through-the-eyes-of @astriefer @justanormaldemon @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @amchara @all-for-the-fanfiction @imsoftforthomastair @ddepressedbookworm @queenlilith43 @wagner-fell @cant-think-of-anything @laylax13s @tessherongraystairs @boredfangirl16 @artist-in-soul @beyondlifebeyonddeath @ikissedsmithparker
#a taste of gold and iron#alexandra rowland#a marvellous light#a restless truth#freya marske#a strange and stubborn endurance#foz meadows#prince of the sorrows#lord of silver ashes#the fox and the dryad#kellen graves
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late night drives to see all the christmas lights in the neighborhood + seven
This might have been the first and last time in MC's life that they were willing to wear crocs.
Saeyoung was calling their name and waving them down towards him, urging them to pick up their pace, all the way through the bunker and until he reached the garage. Even after he hopped into one of his cars--a hot red convertible baby--he continued with his sense of urgency.
"Don't you dare honk!" MC tried to sound annoyed, but they could barely suppress their giggles as they flung open the passenger door and hopped into the car seat. "You know Saeran is asleep already!"
That managed to stop Saeyoung in his tracks, his hand hovering in midair just above the steering wheel. "My baby brother needs his rest," he murmured solemnly. "Especially since I programmed a special alarm for Meowy for tomorrow morning."
Although MC was curious to see what kind of "special alarm" that Saeyoung had programmed for Christmas morning, they couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for the unsuspecting Saeran.
"Is your seat belt on? I may be in a hurry, but safety first!" Saeyoung hummed.
MC sighed as they clicked the seat belt into place. "So you admit you're in a h-- Jesus Christ, Saeyoung!"
They hadn't managed to finish their sentence before Saeyoung revved up the engine and began barreling towards the open garage door. As soon as he had verified his lover's safety, he had continued with his previous breakneck, almost frantic, pace to leave the bunker.
MC was naturally suspicious of this sudden, dramatic change in Saeyoung's demeanor. "Are you going to tell me where we're going?" they prompted as casually as possible.
Saeyoung only replied with a cheeky grin. "Nope!" the redhead purred. "But I must say, you do look amazing in my crocs."
If not for the fact that Saeyoung was driving at a somewhat frightening speed, MC would have smacked him. "I didn't want to go out in pajamas and crocs!" they protested. "You didn't give me any time to change! This is a one time thing, and don't you forget it!"
Saeyoung's disappointed whine almost made MC want to give in and consider wearing the cursed shoes again.
Almost.
After a few moments of near silence, with the only sound being the rumble of the engine as Saeyoung drove through the night, MC ventured to raise the question that had been nagging at the back of their head the entire time. "Hey, honey. Can I ask you a weird question?"
Saeyoung chuckled softly in response. "I'm pretty sure that what's 'weird' for you, isn't very 'weird' to me."
MC snorted. "Pfft, I suppose that's true," they conceded. However, even Saeyoung's light-hearted reply was not enough to ease their nerves. "If you don't mind, then..." they began hesitantly, inhaling sharply as they tried to figure out the most tactful way to word their question. But MC and Saeyoung had promised to be honest with each other going forward, and maybe tact and beating around the bush was not the best approach after all.
"You normally dread leaving the bunker. Why were you in such a hurry to go out tonight?"
Hopefully that was not too blunt.
The pair drove in silence for another moment, except this time MC could not even appreciate the quiet because their heart was pounding violently in their chest and blood was pumping in their ears. Was their partner upset with such a harsh question after all?
A slow, low breath whistled out of Saeyoung's lips. MC braced themselves for a stinging reply, but all Saeyoung said was, "We're almost there."
Finally the car--which was definitely breaking the speed limit for the vast majority of their trip--began to come to a slow roll, easing merrily along the back road that the pair was traveling along.
"You're right," Saeyoung murmured at last. MC turned their head to him curiously, trying to suppress the anxiety rising in their throat as they waited for him to continue. "I hate leaving the bunker. It's not that I don't want to see the world," he explained, "but I know that this world is not safe for someone like me. I have more enemies than I have friends." A harsh laugh. "The count isn't even close."
The car drifted to a standstill, and Saeyoung shifted the gears into "park" before he turned his head to look directly at MC. "But you... you deserve the world. Every inch, every breath, every color, every sound. You deserve to live life to the fullest." His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, and his knuckles began to turn white. The car was stopped, so... was he just trying to hide how intensely his hands were shaking? "You are my world. I'm happy as long as I have you and Saeran. But... I can't let my fears and my dangers keep you from being happy. And so..."
He gently pressed the gas pedal and the car began rolling forward at a leisurely pace.
"So when you mentioned Christmas lights, I knew I had to take you to see them."
Christmas lights? MC ransacked their brain trying to figure out when they last mentioned them. Of course, they wouldn't deny that they loved Christmas lights; they looked forward to the dazzling displays at homes and around towns all season. But they had only brought them up off-handedly when talking to Saeran one afternoon. They hadn't complained or demanded to see lights; MC had resigned themselves to a year without them, knowing that the twins had to worry about their safety and that Saeran's health was still a big concern.
"You were listening?" MC asked at last, not sure of what else to say.
"606... I'm always keeping my eye on you, like your own personal Santa Claus."
With the tap of a button (a cleverly hidden button in the pocket of Saeyoung's hoodie), the dark path before them burst into color and light. Luminous trees reached into the sky, where crystal-colored snowflakes hung overhead. Presents made of lights in red, pink, and purple were scattered around the sides of the road, and glittering penguins slid down hills made of white LEDs.
"S-Saeyoung..."
"I must say, making a Christmas light show is almost as fun as hacking into foreign government databases! Almost." His warm golden eyes, glowing with love, turned to the awestruck face beside him. "Would you care for a tour of the North Pole of Seoul?" He extended his hand with a dramatic flourish, grinning from ear to ear.
"Have I really been nice enough this year for such a treat, Saeyoung Claus?" MC turned to him with a sheepish smile, trying to joke along but unable to disguise the admiration, humility, and adoration in their voice.
"If you don't make the nice list, then nobody else in the world has a chance."
Hand in hand, the pair set forth to view their own little slice of Christmas magic.
#mystic messenger#mysmes#mysme#saeyoung choi#707#luciel choi#saeyoung x mc#gn!mc#thanks for the ask!
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shinso x reader
felt like writing angst today💅🏻🧚🏻♀️ chill anyways..warnings: ptsd, crying, overall sadness, anxiety, mentions of death (not reader or shinso). hurt/comfort<3 ps, listen to in my room by chance peña while reading, bc that’s what i listened to while writing lmao.
A Friday night in early January finds you standing on the edge of the sidewalk, one foot already in the street as you await the go-ahead from the crosswalk. Across the street, the sign on Mei’s Flower’s blinks lazily, proclaiming that the shop is still open. You sigh, tilting your head back just far enough to see that the crosswalk sign has yet to change.
Shifting from one foot to the other, you adjust the straps of your backpack, and then adjust them again. You blow out a breath, watching as the warmth catches against the cold and creates a small cloud.
You check the time again, worrying your bottom lip when you see what time it is. You were supposed to be at your therapy appointment ten minutes ago, but it seems like everything that could’ve went wrong, went wrong. You consider ditching your appointment, readying yourself to turn around and walk yourself back to the dorms..but then you blink and you see her.
As if your anxiety about opening yourself up to someone that was practically a complete stranger wasn’t enough, a car blows by at an alarming speed, revving so loud that it sent vibrations dancing in the pavement beneath your feet. You yelp, taking multiple steps back.
By the time you make it to your appointment, your shaking like a leaf, and are on the verge of tears.
“Sorry ‘m late,” You apologize quietly to the doctor, finding your seat across from her in the comfortable arm chair.
“That’s alright, Y/n,” She says, small smile softening her sharp features.
There’s a beat of silence, one that has you shifting uncomfortably in your seat.
“So,” She begins, “Tell me about your best friend.”
You’re sure that her asking that was only an icebreaker, but it makes you wince. She tilts her head, pen insistently tapping against her notepad. You stare back at her owlishly, wracking your brain for an appropriate answer.
When you come up with one, nothing comes out. Because despite the amount of time that has gone by since the war ended..you’ve never spoken it out loud. Have never allowed yourself to, because then it would be much too real.
“She’s dead.” You settle on.
When you say it, you mean to say it curtly. Your voice betrays you, however, wobbling as if it were a newborn foal. The doctor tries to school her features, but you see the way her eyes widen when you say it.
“She died in the war,” You explain softly, “Right in front of me.”
The doctor takes a deep breath, and nods. “Would you like to expand on that?”
You shake your head, but your mouth seems to have a mind of its own because your mouth opens and you practically word vomit everything to the older woman.
Kimiko was as selfless as any person came. If anyone was destined to be a hero, it was her, and you knew that in the depths of your soul. It was strange, you think, how she seemed to know what her fate was. In the dark of the night, laying side by side, you’d talk about the future with her, dreaming up names for the agency you’d one day co-own with your best friend. She’d always reply with, We’ll see, Y/n. You never know what the future holds.
Maybe you should’ve listened. Maybe then you wouldn’t be so tired all of the time. Because lately, that’s all you seemed to be able to feel. Even still, sleep evaded you most nights, when the flashes of blood and Kimiko’s mangled body shone in the darkness of your eyelids.
“She took a blast for me,” You whisper, “He-“
You can’t even bring yourself to say his name. Just the thought leaves a bitter taste on your tongue, and you blink rapidly, trying with all your might to rid the tears from your lash line.
“Sorry, um, he was trying to attack me and I shut my eyes because I thought that was it. I thought, you know, well, shit, I’m going to die. And I accepted it, you know? But then I never felt the pain, never felt his quirk hit me..and I thought maybe it happened so fast that I died peacefully but when I opened my eyes Kimiko was there. And I thought she was alive,” You trail off for a moment, words caught in your throat from reliving the hardest moment of your short life.
“Kimiko,” You breathed, “Shit, ‘Ko, you’re bleeding.”
Rushing to her side, you kneel down against the asphalt, wincing when it digs into your knees painfully. You reach for her hand, trying to do anything in the moment to comfort her. You squeeze it once, then twice, and then a third time.
“Kimiko?”
You cock your head in confusion, “Kimiko, come on. This isn’t funny.”
Someone falls in behind you, laying a palm against your right shoulder. “Y/n,” They say, “It’s too dangerous for you to be sitting like this out in the open.”
You disregard them, scooting closer to your friend. “Kimiko, we still need to fight. Seriously, we’re nearly finished. It’ll be okay soon. Just get up and help a little longer and then you can rest, alright?”
“Y/n,” The person says more sternly. Todoroki, you think? You’re not sure. You can’t be sure of anything.
“Please!” You cry out, anguished sob tearing from your throat because she’s not moving. She’s not moving.
You stare at your shoes as you explain what happened to the doctor, hyper-focusing on the scuff etched into the rubber toe of your converse. You’d gotten it when Kimiko was trying to teach you to skateboard.
Funny, how something so small can mean so much.
With you arms crossed over your chest, as if it could protect you from her stare, from her looking into the depths of your soul, you look up, gauging the doctors reaction.
“Y/n. You have been through something extremely traumatic,” and you’re not sure why, but the way she says it, the way she takes her glasses off and looks at you so gently-it makes you nauseated.
“I’m fine, I’m just, I just miss her. That’s all. I’ll be fine, though.”
She sighs, “I think you believe that. But-“
You swallow deeply, trying to rid yourself of the nausea. “Can I go?”
She nods solemnly, crossing her legs. “I wouldn’t keep you here against your will. But I think you’d really benefit from coming back. So consider that, yeah?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
Your mind is in a haze the whole walk back to the dorms. Saying it out loud..it did exactly what you didn’t want it to do. It made it feel real. A part of you feels awful for leaving like that, but you couldn’t do it anymore.
The warm air is stifling when you slip through the double doors of the dorms, trapping you in a sense of discomfort. You allow your backpack to thunk against the ground when it slips off your shoulders, catching the attention of your classmates.
“Oh, hey, Y/n!” Denki greets loudly. Normally you’d greet him back with the same excitement, but you’re not sure you can feel anything besides heavy. Everything is heavy. And you want the floor to swallow you whole, praying in your mind that it would just open up and let you fall through if only that meant you could get some relief from this horrible pain in your heart.
You halfheartedly wave at whomever is in the living room area, eyes glued to the elevator as you step past the kitchen. You press the button, and lean up against the wall, shutting your eyes for a moment while you wait for the familiar ding of its arrival. When it doesn’t come, you open your eyes, and glare at it, as if that would make it come any quicker.
“Damn it,” You mutter, slamming your palm against the button.
When it doesn’t do anything still, you break.
You don’t have the emotional capacity to feel embarrassed when you sink to the floor, face scrunched up as hot tears spill from your eyes. You land against the carpeting, chest heaving when you try to catch your breath.
“Honey,” Mina calls from somewhere behind you. You hear her fuzzy sock clad feet patter across the hall to you, and then her arms are circling around your shoulders, and it takes everything in you to not allow yourself to meld yourself against her.
“Hitoshi,” You mumble, choking on a sob.
“Hm?” Mina brushes a strand of wet hair from your cheek, tone soft.
“Can you get him for me, please? I want Shinso.”
You’re not sure how much time passes before you see the flash of violet hair, broad shoulders blocking your view of everyone.
“What’s wrong?” He asks, shooing everyone away so you can be alone with him. You shake your head, and move into his arms, pressing your face against his chest.
“I’m tired, ‘Toshi. I’m so sleepy. Please.”
He circles an arm around your shoulders, thumb rubbing against your shoulder blade. “I’ll walk you up to your room. C’mon.”
“No, no, no. I can’t sleep,” You cry, fisting his hoodie in your hands. “I see her when I close my eyes and I can’t sleep and it hurts so bad-“
He doesn’t seem to mind the lack of privacy as he scoops you into his arms with ease, hip checking the elevator button so he doesn’t have to let go of you. The walk to your room is quiet, silent tears spilling from you eyes. You could cry an ocean, you think, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
Moonlight streams in through the floor to ceiling windows, casting brilliant beams of light across everything. You briefly wonder if Kimiko can see the moon where she’s at. You hope she can.
“Want me to stay with you for a bit?” Hitoshi asks, baritone voice echoing through the empty hall. You nod against his shoulder, too tired to verbally answer him. He unlatches your door, and steps through with you still in his arms. Your room is disheveled, empty bottles strewn about the room, homework papers piled up precariously on your desk.
“Sorry for the mess,” You whisper.
“Hush.” Is Hitoshi’s response. He sets you down on your bed before rifling through your dresser for something cozy to wear. He helps you get changed, violet eyes staring into yours until you’re fully dressed.
You snuggle into your comforter, trying to get as comfortable as possible.
“Can you help me sleep?”
Hitoshi bites the inside of his cheek, looking deep in thought. “I don’t know if I feel good about using my quirk on you, sweetheart.”
“Please,” You ask, voice cracking, “Please, ‘Toshi. I haven’t slept in so long.”
He nods once, before laying down beside you. He reaches a hand out, stroking your cheekbone with his knuckles when he looks you in the eyes. “You’re sure, baby?”
“Please.”
He takes a deep breath, and pulls you into his arms. Cradling you to his chest, he commands, “Go to sleep. You deserve the rest.”
The last thing you recall before sleep claims you, is the feeling of him kissing the top of your head.
A dreamless sleep is what you get, and when you awake, it’s ten in the morning. You open your eyes to find Hitoshi beside you on his back, deep in thought as he stares up at the ceiling.
“Hitoshi,” You greet, joy evident in your voice. “I haven’t slept that well in so long.”
His lips quirk up. “Good. I’m glad, sweetheart.” He turns on his side to face you, handsome smile greeting you. He opens his arms up for you, and you snuggle in close, pressing yourself as close to him as you can.
“Thank you for doing that for me.”
“You’re welcome, Y/n. You know I’d do whatever I could to help you, yeah?”
“Yeah,” You agree, thanking Kimiko in your mind for sending you someone to help you get through this.
Once again I rlly don’t like this lmao. Idk if I’m just self deprecating or if I just rlly don’t like my own writing but maybe that’s the same thing. Anyway! Thanks for reading. Mwuah!
#mha#myheroacademia#hitoshi shinso x reader#hitoshi shinso imagine#bnha shinsou#shinso x reader#bnha#bnha angst#bnha fluff#bnha imagines#shinso hitoshi x reader
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harrington takes a shot - steve harrington x fem!reader
summary: steve is the most nervous for your date, and you’re in desperate need of a distraction.
warnings: mentions of shitty parents, steve harrington is a Sweet Boy™️, p-in-v (BUT THERE’S A CONDOM WHO AM I), mentions of horror movies, that’s about it I think???
a/n:ok I cranked this out in like an hour, unedited, mistakes are my own, but enjoy some sweet little steve!!!
🍂kay’s autumn adventures🍂
Steve is nervous.
It’s a new feeling. He shouldn’t be nervous. He’s been on loads of dates, asked out half the female population of Hawkins according to Robin, but this is a new feeling. The butterflies are semi-familiar — he hasn’t felt those since Nancy — but the nervousness, the sweep of anxiety that zips through him whenever he sees you, that’s new.
“It means you like her, dingus,” Robin is quick to tell him, rolling her eyes while she fixes her makeup in the passenger seat of his car. “You wouldn’t be so worried if you didn’t care.”
He can’t argue with that logic. “Huh. Well, in all fairness, this is partially your fault, you know.”
“What?” Robin squeaks, jumping on the defence. “How on earth is this my fault?”
“You’re the one who neglected to tell me that your cousin was not only drop-dead gorgeous, but also the coolest girl I’ve ever met in my life.”
She just starts laughing. “She’s my cousin, Harrington, you’ll have to forgive me for not drooling over. This isn’t Kentucky.”
“Right, but that doesn’t stop you from telling me, your desperately lonely best friend and closest confidante, about any eligible ladies you may have stashed away.”
“If you say the words eligible ladies to me ever again, I’m disowning you.”
“Sorry.”
He drops Robin off at Vickie’s, kills a few hours with Henderson before his shift at Family Video. He’s still nervous, too much energy stuck in his body, toes tapping and knees bouncing for all eight hours. Three o’clock on the dot, the phone rings, and Steve breezes out his usual thank you for calling Family Video, what film are you after? before nearly choking on his breath when he hears your voice on the other end of the receiver.
“Hey Steve, it’s me,” you say, and he can practically hear the way you’re chewing your lip. You’d done it the first time you’d met, and the entire five minutes it took him to get the question out and ask you to hang out with him, even after spending a full day talking to you. It was endearing as hell. “Just checking if we’re still on for tonight?”
“What? Me? Oh, yes, oh my god, yes, of course we are,” he sputters, and smacks himself in the forehead. “Shit. Yes, is what I meant to say. Yes, we are still on. Pick you up at seven?”
“Seven’s perfect,” you reply, and he can’t stop himself from jolting with happiness. Then the bell above the door announces a customer and he nearly groans aloud. Is his shift over yet?
“Great. I gotta go. People need movies and whatever. See you at seven!”
He slams the phone down a little too forcefully, realizing after a beat that he didn’t wait long enough for you to reply, your farewell lost to the dial tone, and groans audibly this time, turning the heads of the group of tweens browsing the romantic comedies.
By some stroke of luck, the rest of his shift goes shockingly quick, and before he knows it, Keith is showing up to take over for the night. Grabbing his own stack of rentals, Steve’s out the door in a flash, vest balled up and tossed in the backseat, engine revved and a hand pushed through his hair before he peels out of the lot.
You just moved to Hawkins — why your family would want to leave New York for Indiana he doesn’t know, but he’s quietly happy that you did — and you live on the other side of town, a few streets over from Robin. He’s surprised to see you sitting out front, bundled in your jean jacket and perched on the porch. You get up when he rolls to a stop at the curb, jogging down the steps and the path that leads to the house. As you approach, he doesn’t miss the way you swipe at your cheeks.
“Hey, everything okay?” he asks as you yank the door open, flinching slightly as it slams shut.
“Fine!” you say, your voice artificially bright. “Can we go?”
“Yeah, ‘course,” he replies, and starts to pull away, seeing the front door of your house open just as he hits the gas. “You sure you’re okay?”
There’s a long pause, a hiccup that makes his chest hurt, and a quiet: “No.”
“Parents?” he asks, not wanting to pry to much. He glances over and sees your nod, and offers his right hand, reaching over the gearshift towards you. “I know the feeling.”
Your fingers thread through his, knuckles thinner than his own, slotting nicely against his palm. It’s satisfying in the best way, and he squeezes your hand.
“I got a bunch of movies from work,” he tells you, “and I ordered a pizza on my way out that should be there shortly after we do. We can eat and hang out and you can forget all about it for a while, yeah?”
You pull his arm into your lap, wrapping your own around it like a vine, leaning your head against his shoulder. “Thank you.”
He kills the engine as he pulls into the driveway, and you make to get out, but he stops you, sprinting around the car to open your door. You give him a watery laugh as he offers you a hand, pulling you out of the seat and closing the door behind you.
Twenty minutes later, the pizza has been delivered, the first movie is playing, and you’re curled up on the couch. You wasted no time slipping yourself beneath Steve’s arm, snuggled close to him, and he’s trying very hard to ignore the butterflies rioting in his stomach. You’re just so pretty. He hasn’t asked anything more about the state of you when he picked you up, but it’s a familiar scene to Steve.
Robin had let it slip that part of the reason for your move from New York to Hawkins was because your dad had lost his job, so they had sold the house you’d grown up in and downsized to Indiana. She’d also mentioned that it had put a…strain on your parents’ relationship. It was a song that Steve knew all too well.
He was surprised at your movie pick. He’d grabbed a variety from work, and you’d frowned when you saw most of the options were slashers or horror, admitting they weren’t your favourite genre. “Tis the season,” he joked, rubbing the back of his neck as his cheeks flared red. “I can find something else, if you want, or we could go back to the store and—”
“This one,” you’d declared, and pointed to Friday the 13th.
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
Now, forty minutes into the movie, he can see why you said slashers weren’t your favourite. You’re terrified, it’s easy to see, and Steve’s cursing himself internally. Why didn’t he just ask you what you wanted to rent?
But…if he’s being honest, it has it’s perks.
You’re practically in his lap, for one, knees dragged up to your chest, your torso turned against his, hand curled in the front of his t-shirt like it’s a lifeline. He’s got one arm around you, his hand tucked against your ribs, nose buried in your hair, and goddamn you smell amazing.
And the noises. The shrieks and screams coming from the tv have drowned them out some, but it’s definitely not enough to distract him completely. You let out tiny squeaks and whines, at one point flat out moaning and hiding your face in his chest.
“How are you not scared of this?” you ask him at one point, and he doesn’t have the heart to tell you that he’s much too distracted by you with your noises and your perfect scent and you’re just so pretty.
“We can turn it off,” he says by way of answer, swallowing hard, trying to will away the twitching in his jeans, “if you want.”
“Or you could distract me,” are the next words out of your mouth, and there’s no stopping the twitch now. It’s not a twitch so much as a full on rush of blood.
“Oh.”
“Is that a no?” you ask sweetly, turning your face up to his, and Steve’s jaw nearly drops.
He reaches up, takes your face in his hand, chin resting between his thumb and index finger, the rest of his digits spanning your jaw. Your warm breath fans his face and his eyes skirt over yours as he leans in, slowly, slowly, slowly.
You surge forward at the last second, capturing his lips with yours, a tiny noise falling out of you as it happens. Steve nearly jumps, instantly caught up in the taste of your mouth, the way your lips are so fucking soft, the way your hand fists his shirt tighter.
He’s so hard he feels lightheaded, and it only gets worse when you adjust yourself, swinging a leg over his hips and settling into his lap. If you can feel it nudge against your thigh, you don’t say anything, busying yourself with your hands in his hair while his find homes on your hips.
“You’ve got really great hair,” you mumble into his mouth, pushing your knuckles through his strands. It feels so good, and he nearly tips his head back, but refuses to stop kissing you. He’s drunk, he’s addicted, he’s hooked, and he can’t stop. You grind your hips into his and your mouth drops open, his name breathed back into his lungs. “Shit, Steve…Steve?”
“Tell me,” he says, his voice dropping low, gravelly even to his own ears.
“Take me upstairs?” you ask, kissing him slowly, hands tugging light on his hair. “Please?”
+
He doesn’t say a word as he leads you up his room. The movie is turned off, the front door locked, and he threads his fingers through yours, tugging you behind him as he ascends the stairs. You’re chewing your lip the whole way, only stopping when he stops at the top of the staircase, pausing to pull you close and kiss you harder than he had on the couch. “Are you sure?” he asks, something in those brown eyes making your heart ache. “We don’t have to, is all I mean. I want to, don’t get me wrong, but I only want to if you want to, y’know? I just mean—”
You quiet him with another kiss. “I want to, Steve. I really do.”
The little half-smile he gives you makes your heart pick up in your chest, and he leads you down the darkened hallway.
His room is what you expect it to be, posters on the walls and the bed unmade, laundry spilling out of the basket and a stack of books on the desk. The thick scent of his cologne permeates the room, and you inhale deeply, grabbing him by the front of his t-shirt as he closes the door, leaning up on your toes to kiss him once more.
He’s careful as he lays you out on the bed, careful as he pulls your clothes off. It’s gentle and slow, kisses littered everywhere his mouth can reach. And all the while, he’s watching you, eyes raking over every inch of your body.
“Fucking pretty.”
Once you’re fully nude on the mattress, he pushes your legs apart gently, mouths his way from your knee to the dip where your thigh meets your hip. He blows a cool breath over your core that has your back arching, sheets twisting in your grip, and when his tongue touches you, you sing his name like a prayer, diving a hand back into his stupidly soft hair.
It’s not long before you’re pulling at him, hauling him up and over you, flicking the button on his jeans and pushing them down his hips. He pauses for a moment, fishing a condom out of the nightstand, and you take a moment, returning the favour, eyes travelling the length of his body.
He makes an almost strangled noise when he pushes inside you, lashes fluttering against his cheeks as your nails rake his back. You hold him close, closer than you’ve held someone in a long time, your body reacting to his, desperate for more. “Pretty,” he breathes out as he starts to move, face tucked against your collar, hot breath fanning your chest. “So fucking pretty. Feel so fucking good.”
Neither of you last long. Pleasure comes to you high and tight, shooting down your spine when he pushes a leg towards your chest, nearly bending you in half, driving against every nerve inside you. He falls quickly after you do, breath stuttered in your ear, your name drawn out in the best way.
You lie there a long time after, after he’s cleaned himself up, after you’ve snuck off to pee. You lie on your stomach, Steve on his back, his pillow bunched beneath your head. He drags his knuckles up and down your spine, eyes glued to the movement of his hand. It’s soothing, aimless patterns that make your eyes threaten to droop.
“Thank you,” you murmur, your words the first in a while, Steve’s face angling to look at you. “For not asking earlier. When I was…” You sigh, your shoulders moving with the force of it, and Steve flips onto his side, changing hands, his whole palm now skimming up and down your back. “Parents suck sometimes.”
“I know the feeling,” he says, echoing his earlier words, his eyes big and honest. “Happy to distract you, whenever you need.”
You stare at him for a long moment. “You’re not what I expected, Steve Harrington.”
He quick a brow, cheeks flushing. “Is that a good thing?”
“It is,” you nod. “I want to know more.”
“About?”
“You.”
He grins, and leans over to kiss you lightly, palm settling into the small of your back. “I want to know more about you too.”
—————
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