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veneskaa · 10 months

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I rewatched the phantom menace last night and even though it's still the worst prequel i was actually so compelled by Padme's disillusionment with the Republic—even after the vote of no confidence she tells Palpatine it's clear to her that the Republic no longer functions. At all. And while we're maybe supposed to read Palpatine's election as restoring her faith in the Republic (to whatever extent) i'm so much more interested in Padme as a fundamentally disillusioned politician nevertheless devoted to working within the system, someone who criticizes the Republic but firmly believes in its necessity and even relative goodness. Or even as someone who, since her election as a child to the queenship, finds herself stuck in the political world and leaving it isn't an option anymore. It'd mirror Anakin's relationship to the Jedi Order to some extent, these two individuals who choose to stay in their respective systems despite major ideological reservations, systems which, frankly, should not overlap as much as they do—and this is their downfall. i could also make more sense of an educated and strong-willed woman like Padme walking into a marriage with a nineteen year old who just weeks beforehand expressed his support for a fascist dictatorship, or responding to the unhinged slaughter of an entire Tusken village with "to be angry is to be human." conditioned is a strong word but there's something v compelling to me about 2 people initiating such a deeply problemed relationship as a result of their conditioning to work within and around corruption

#might write a fic about it idk #back in 2021 i actually did have a similar fic idea in mind; maybe i'll pull the trigger this year #obligatory disclaimer that i've never read any of the books and maybe this is a fucking obvious reading of their dynamic #the phantom menace #padme amidala #anakin skywalker #anidala

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rikkivoid · 1 year

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winter kiss

#bakudeku #LAST NIGHT i had a dream that bkdk went on a first date and it was so cute #it made me wanna write a fic BUT IDK HOW JFHDJHF #SO I WILL JUST TALK ABOUT IT HERE #(also i rlly wanted to draw deku in fluffy warm clothes)#ANYWAY the concept of deku asking bkg on a date and them both just indulging in a moment of normalcy that's just.. simple and tender..#MAKES ME RLLY EMOTIONAL #bc they never really get the chance to just be normal teenagers #and the world they live in has become so dangerous and so chaotic #SO BOTH OF THEM GO ON THIS DATE and they have a nice time #but it's bittersweet too because they know they might not get another moment like this #bc they never know what tomorrow will bring #SO IT'S A HAPPY MOMENT but one that is fleeting #like snow :)#ANYWAY if u read all of that thank u JFHJFHF #rikkivoid #mystuff

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twinksintrees · 3 months

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thinking about chuuya seeing dazai at the ada

and he’s fucking thriving

and he should be happy for him. he should be happy he’s in a better place now. and a part of him is, of course, but more of him is hurt.

hurt that he’s not with chuuya anymore.

hurt that he’s thriving, and chuuya isn’t in the picture.

hurt that he gets to go off and leave him and there are no repercussions. he gets to be happy, he gets to be healthy, he gets to do all the things he never could in the port mafia.

he gets to feel human.

and chuuya is stuck. watching from the sidelines, like he always is.

he watched as dazai destroyed himself in the port mafia. he watched as he destroyed akutagawa. he watched as he wasted away in a cold dark shipping container, alone, for two years. he watched as he left, was abandoned yet again. and now he watches as he lives, truly lives, his life to his fullest extent.

he hates himself for feeling this way. he should be happy. he should be glad, proud, over the moon, feel something other than this sickening twist of envy in his stomach.

he opens a bottle of wine when he gets home. he was never taught how to handle his emotions, and the alcohol hadn’t steered him wrong yet.

god what he would give to feel normal. to feel normal, real, human emotions.

instead all he has is anger, and guilt, and jealousy, swirling in his gut.

hopefully the wine will wash it all away

#this is just fucking rambling #this is a lot less about me focusing on character accuracy and more about me channeling my feelings into writing #so apologies if it’s ooc #chuuya nakahara #bsd #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #skk #soukoku #fan fic inspo #i might make this until a full fic sometimes idk #if i do it’ll be better i promise

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athina-blaine · 12 days

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kabru's relationship with his eyes makes for suuuuuch a fantastic trans allegory (an aspect of your body alienating you from your community, being compelled to understand the perspective of someone who also has a complicated relationship with their body in the hopes that you'll better understand your own, people straight up misunderstanding biology) it makes me kind of insane because now I feel like I can't dig into any complicated feelings he might have about his body in relation to his gender without feeling like im just ... double dipping?? like fifjpejgh ryoko kui straight up already told that story in a way that exquisitely fucks??

#dungeon meshi #told yall this fic was crunchy #tfw youre a trans allegory on top of just being trans #mfw i can't even have him struggling with feeling infantilized or seen as weak because kui already did that too!!#cant have shit in dunmesh!!#it's trans allegories all the way down #personally im more interested in how kabru's gender presentation might have caused external conflict growing up with elves #who seem to be coded as generally culturally conservative #happy to see that one post about marcille and her gender hangups floating around because ive been having the exact same ruminations lol #bugs me so bad when people write off trans kabru hc as “people just see him as effeminate and think trans” especially in regards to labru #like no!!! there's layers here!!#youre telling me a queer coded this narrative?#stuffs all the complicated feelings about your body content into laios instead lmao #[slaps roof of car] this bad boy can fit so much body dysmorphia into him #he might have a penis but idk if that makes him cis either 🤔

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scoopstomyahoy · 9 months

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how do we think robin's parents would react if they caught steve in robin's room overnight

#stobin #stranger things #robin buckley #steve harrington #i ask because i still haven't read rebel robin but i kind of want to write a mini fic about it oops #(it being steve getting caught not rebel robin lol)#like if her parents don't know she's a lesbian. and it's the 80s in a small town. even hippy parents might get a little upset right #idk. just wondering

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toastsrambles · 6 days

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how much do you think albert thought about og william in his isolation?

because og william was obviously cruel. like im not saying he wasn’t. but he was still a child. a child raised by unloving, elitist parents who internalized the idea he was better than others because he had nobody tell him not to. a kid who was murdered by his big brother, who was told he was nothing to him.

did og william haunt albert, do you think? did albert ever wonder about what william could have been? if his little brother could have changed?

because when they were little, were they ever real brothers? did albert help william with his homework, and did william ever give albert a drawing of the two of them? before albert realized what the world really was, did he love william?

og william was not a good person. maybe he couldn’t change, but albert will never know. william might have been capable of good, but albert killed him before he got the chance to try.

#moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #yuumori #albert james moriarty #og william james moriarty #kid doesn’t even have a tag rip him #william was cruel but holy shit albert was BRUTAL i had to look away from the anime #might write a fic about this idk

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mamawasatesttube · 6 months

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number 81 for the writing prompts: "It's cold, you should take my jacket."

(mostly cause I wanna see Tim wear Kon's leather jacket and Neither of them being normal about it but do what you want with it it's your fic <3)

“Here.”

Tim looks up as Kon waltzes back into the living room, two enticingly-steaming mugs in his hands. Hot spiced apple cider sounds absolutely divine right now—the blustery Kansas day outside is reaching its icy fingers into the farmhouse despite the fire blazing merrily in the hearth, and Tim has to admit, he maybe should’ve packed warmer for this trip.

Kon presses one of the mugs into his hands—the nicer one, Tim notes, without the chip in the rim—and Tim accepts it with a grateful hum. The warmth seeps into his palms immediately. “Thanks.”

“No problemo, Rob-lemo.” Kon plops down next to him on the couch, his TTK keeping his cider perfectly still in his mug as he makes himself comfortable. “It’s pretty chilly out today. Gonna be a good night to go skating—the pond down by the McAllister’s place is frozen over, and this time of year, they string up lights ‘n’ invite all the neighbors to come by in the evenings. Wanna go?”

Tim hums in consideration. “Could be fun, but just warning you, it’s been a hot minute since I did any skating, so I’m kinda rusty. And I didn’t bring any skates.” Mmm, the steam rising up from his cider smells amazing. “Did you make this?”

Kon’s eyebrows shoot towards the ceiling. Then he puffs out his cheeks in mock offense, folding his arms across his chest. “You don’t have to sound so surprised! I’m good in the kitchen.”

Yeah, Bart keeps calling him malewife material about it. Tim grins into his mug; it’s not his fault it’s so easy to ruffle Kon’s feathers, or that it’s so funny to do so. “I guess it is Ma’s recipe, so it’d be hard to make it bad.”

Kon politely waits for him to lower the mug from his mouth and then swats him on the back of the head. Tim does appreciate the pause, even as he ducks away, laughing. The cider tastes like apples and cinnamon and honey; warmth spreads through Tim’s chest.

“You’re rude,” Kon tells him. “Just for that, if you fall on your face when we go skating, I’m not helping you up. I’m just gonna laugh.”

“Oh, it’s a when we go skating now?” Tim quirks an eyebrow at him in turn. “I just said I didn’t bring any skates.”

“We can get you some, that’s no trouble,” Kon says, flapping a dismissive hand. Tim opens his mouth to ask where, exactly, in Smallville, can they get a pair of new ice skates in a matter of a couple of hours, but then closes it again when it hits him that even if there isn’t a big sporting goods shop in Smallville, geography isn’t really a concern to someone who can crisscross the entire globe in a matter of minutes.

“Yeah, okay, sure.” Tim lightly elbows him. “Don’t tell me you’re actually good at skating. I bet you just TTK your way through it.”

Kon elbows him back. “Yeah, right! I’m pretty decent, no powers required, actually. Been going plenty with Jon. He particularly loves this one roller dome in Metropolis that always has Super merch in the arcade claw games.”

Okay, Tim has to admit, he’s melting a little about that. Kon loves his little brother. The image of him taking Jon skating is really cute—he can just picture Jon wobbling along, holding Kon’s hand, and rambling about his day like he loves to do. He bites back a truly sappy smile; his toes curl instead, where they’re tucked under a cushion to stay warm.

“Lemme guess. The claw games are where you TTK it up.”

Kon snickers. “They’re rigged as hell, but the kid wants his misshapen Superman plushies, so obviously I gotta win ‘em for him.”

“Obviously,” Tim agrees. He curls his fingers around his mug a little tighter, soaking up its warmth; he’s got an actual winter coat for when they go out, but he really wishes he’d brought some thicker sweaters or hoodies for hanging around in the house itself. He’s used to the damp, creeping cold of Gotham; the blustery Kansas winters might be about the same temperature, but the wind out here blows right through him.

Kon shifts next to him, setting his cider down on a coaster on the coffee table. Tim glances up just in time to see him unzip and shrug out of his hoodie—it’s fleece-lined and light pink with a strawberry cow printed on the front breast pocket, very cute.

And then Kon leans over and wraps it around Tim’s shoulders. Tim’s face heats.

“It’s cold,” Kon explains. “Take my jacket. I don’t really need it that bad, anyway, so you may as well get some use out of it.”

It’s still warm from his body, and Tim lifts one hand from his mug to pull it more tightly around himself like a blanket. His nose brushes the collar when he turns his head a little. The jacket smells like Kon’s cologne.

…It’s the citrus-and-spice one Tim bought him last Christmas. He’s wearing the cologne Tim picked out for him last year, the one Tim definitely didn’t spend almost an hour agonizing over as he imagined tucking his face into Kon’s shoulder and inhaling this specific scent from his collarbone. He’s…

Tim’s face gets even hotter. Abruptly, he takes a gulp of hot cider, hiding in his mug. Kon’s jacket smells like him, and it’s warm, and it’s big and cozy and soft, and…

Kon is staring at him, Tim realizes belatedly. He didn’t notice because he was busy, uh, processing, but Kon’s looking at him like he’s…

Like he’s the last morsel of dessert on the table, and Kon has a ravenous craving for some sugar?

Tim swallows hard. Deliberately counts to eight on his next inhale and exhale. If he lets his heart rate pick up, Kon will definitely notice.

“Thanks,” he manages, finally. “That’s, uh. Yeah. That’s nice.”

“I’ll say,” Kon mutters. He drops his gaze, his cheeks a little pink, and then reaches over to ruffle Tim’s hair. “Bring warmer lounge clothes next time, dumbass. The farmhouse is kinda old. Gets drafty in here.”

“Yeah,” Tim says wryly. He shifts his weight, rearranging his legs so that instead of leaning on the armrest, he flops himself against Kon’s side, dropping his head to his shoulder for a moment. “I noticed.”

Kon leans his cheek against Tim’s hair. “At least you got me to keep you warm,” he sighs, slipping his arm around Tim’s shoulders. “What would you do without me, huh?”

Tim bites back the first response on the tip of his tongue (“Go into a huge depressive spiral?”) and goes for something a little less insane. “Freeze to death before you even get to laugh about me falling on my face at the McAllisters’ pond?”

Kon snorts. He’s comfortably warm against Tim’s side, and Tim snuggles a little closer, relishing his warmth. “Yeah, that sounds about right,” Kon agrees. “I hope I can get it on video.”

Tim just smiles to himself and raises his mug for another sip of cider. The honey and spices are heavenly on his tongue, but if he’s being entirely honest, he can think of something sweeter.

#answers #barbitchian #this ended up being less about the jacket than i intended but i AM thinking abt other reasons tim might end up wearing kon's jackets.#i just also think kon in a cute pastel pink strawberry cow hoodie is cute :)#timkon #rimi writes #its such an awkward length skdjhsdjk like this feels too short to bother putting on ao3 but so long for a tumblr ficlet. man #maybe i will expand timkon wintertime fluff (inspired vaguely by hallmark vibes) later into a real fic. idk!#tim #kon

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 8 months

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the picnic table scene

#this isnt going to make sense to literally any of you for a long time and im sorry about that #but FUCK was i writing this morning #man. man man man man Man the motivation Hit #this fic might get done after all...#i need. to go sleep. OUASGAHSAKJSNCADCLSKDVMS;#THEY MAKE ME INSANE THEY MAKE ME INSANE #YALL ALREADY KNOW WHO IM TALKING ABOUT #THEY MAKE ME CRAZY AGH AGH AGH #ok. ok. ill sleep. and we'll see if the scene holds up when my brain is Refreshed #absolutely unprompted #throwing myself to the ground and howling #who do i need to BITE #oh 7 am me we're really in it now #literally getting myself too worked up. im. Emotional. i almost feel like tearing up #if that was something i could do lmao #fortunately crying does not come easily to me but in my heart im like. idk. Sobbing #anyway in order to calm down im gonna go think about something that makes me equally insane #which is the OG reason i designed a butterfly look for howdy. yass!howdy's origins <3 #slamming my face through drywall ok bye im off to crazyville where i can catch a layover to sleepytown

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allmyhomieshatelawns · 3 months

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AND SOME MORE FOR THE HYPNO POP AU BECAUSE IT WON’T LEAVE ME ALONE EVEN THOUGH MY HANDS ARE SCREAMING IN PAIN BECAUSE THE WEATHER KEEPS SHIFTING LIKE A DICK.

anyway anyway, please enjoy another lil somethin i wrote for @djmurphy ‘s Hypno Pop AU!

“Because I’m happy, clap along if you feel like a room without a roof!” My throat stung with the words, volume rising higher with the lyrics of the song. “Dance along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do!”

Cruel irony that. I certainly didn’t want to, but that isn’t what mattered. The village needed to be happy, we were celebrating nearly twenty years of freedom from the bergens. This was a happy time!!

I continued dancing on the main stage, singing with the rasp that had developed in my voice some years ago. King Peppy said it made me sound more mature and that I should like it. And I do! I love how it sounds nothing like the angelic voice that got—

Don’t falter! I snapped back to attention just in time for the knee slide, grinning despite the harsh impact.

The entire village went wild, several in the crowd fainting, and even more screaming for an encore.

I felt tired, like my bones were crumbling away inside of me, but my smile didn’t falter.

“You guys want more? Alright! This one I’ve been working on for a while now!” My lips and throat moved on their own; I wouldn’t be getting any rest anytime soon. Might as well retreat.

Everything was on autopilot, but thankfully the screaming fans didn’t seem to notice or care. They just wanted more. They always want more. It was so wonderful that they loved my music. I loved making them all so happy!!

“Wow, Branch! I can’t believe you did three encores! Where do you get the energy? I would’ve had to stop after the first one!” Princess Poppy was at my side, practically dragging me off the stage.

I was allowed to sag into her side for a moment, it was close enough to Hug Time, it was fine. But all too soon my strings pulled me away, smiling.

“I can’t say no to my adoring fans!” I grinned, the right side of my mouth gave a violent twitch, cramping from the nonstop use. I turned away so hopefully Princess Poppy wouldn’t notice. She can’t think I’m weird, I’m normal, I’m supposed to be normal!

“Branch?” Princess Poppy’s voice was laced with concern, her hand grabbing my shoulder and spinning me around.

I tried to maintain my grin, feeling the corners twitch uncomfortably against the frames of my glasses. I tugged on my blue puffy vest, nerves trying to rise from my belly but thankfully, as always, halted in their tracks.

“What’s up, Princess Poppy?” I asked, my hands now hanging limp at my side since they weren’t allowed to do anything else.

She made a face at her title like she always did, but her hand tightened on my shoulder. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is perfect! Why wouldn’t it be?” My mouth said, the words a little too chirpy. “The fans love me, and your celebration is going even better than projected!” That should throw her off, get her talking about the party. Everyone is happy.

It worked like a charm. Princess Poppy beamed at me like I had given her, her favorite dessert.

“Thank you, Branch! This party wouldn’t have been half as successful without you here though! You make every party more fun.” She then began prattling on about the different streamer and glitter bombs she had used this time as opposed to last year. She was so dedicated to keeping the village happy! We were so lucky to have her and King Peppy!

I relaxed, as much as I could, and smiled along. Thankfully it didn’t have to be a big smile, I could soften things for the princess.

Soon enough we were in the area considered backstage, and I expected her to peel off and go back to her friends, but instead, she pulled me into a more private dressing room area. My skin prickled at the privacy. That meant bad things. That meant I wasn’t happy enough.

“Branch, I need you to be real with me here. You’ve been acting kind of… off lately. Are you sure you’re okay?” Princess Poppy looked apologetic as she said it, but I felt the immediate effect.

A scream of pop music resounded in my ears, so loud I thought they would start bleeding. The pounding in my head got worse, like a bergen bashing my head against a tree. Even my muscles started to scream, wanting to cramp and twitch as they were forcibly pulled. I wanted to scream and cry and curl up under the bed in my pod, but I stood there beaming.

“Princess Poppy, I assure you, I’m perfectly fine. Just a little tired from the party tonight. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be just fine.” The words were straight from the string and they hurt, like they were being ripped from me. My voice even went raspier, like there was another voice speaking under mine, but I wasn’t sure if that was from the singing or not. It had been a long time since I had to have the string speak through me. I’m supposed to be better than this. Get it together, Branch. You’re perfectly happy!

Princess Poppy took a step back, a frown pulling down her lips.

No! No! I can fix this please—

“Is everything alright, Poppy? I saw you follow Branch back here.” King Peppy’s voice sent shivers across my body, locking up my joints. King Peppy is here! Oh good he’ll make everything better, like always!!

“Oh! Hey Dad, I was just congratulating Branch on his performance!” Princess Poppy lied to the king! Her face didn’t show any hint of dishonesty though, and I didn’t feel compelled to correct her, that would be rude, so I just nodded along, my smile back to the tight beam that had been on display for everyone tonight. I had worked super hard on it to make it perfect.

He looked between the two of us like he wasn’t sure it was the truth, but merely motioned me forward. I went without hesitation of course, my body still rigid and stiff despite the bounce in my step. I stopped in front of King Peppy, smiling up at him.

“Run along now, my darling. I wanted to talk with Branch about something, you know, guy talk.” King Peppy winked over my head at the princess, causing her to gag and laugh.

“Ew Dad, okay. Alright, Branch, it was awesome talking to you!” She hesitated a moment before giving me a hug, squeezing tighter than normal, like she was afraid of something.

I watched her walk away, my pink-tinted vision clouding her shape the further she got. Like I was drowning alone in suffocating pink mist.

King Peppy’s hand landed on my shoulder heavily, and he sighed like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. “I worry about her. I only hope that when it’s her time, she will continue to make the right choices, as I have. Now, come along, Branch. I’ll top you off.”

“Thank you, King Peppy!” I chirped, melting as the string was plucked, and I could just dive back into the haze of my mind. We were having to do this more frequently. It used to be, I could go for a week without having the string played for me, but that time was shortening. I didn’t want to think about what would happen to me should the string stop working altogether. That wasn’t a happy thought, and only happy thoughts were allowed!

#dreamworks trolls #trolls #trolls branch #trolls poppy #trolls king peppy #hypno pop au #trolls fandom #trolls fanfic #fanfic snippet #i’m having too much fun with this #even tho my hands hurty #hope y’all enjoy this lil bit #hate that i had to reformat it when i copy and pasted from my writing app to here #oh well #i’m playing fast and loose w how branch is feeling about all this #i might do a Poppy pov next just to see what she’s thinking of everything #idk i might save that for if i decide to sit down and do a whole fic for this AU #we’ll see #creepy awesome

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wikiangela · 4 months

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fuck it friday

tagged by @diazsdimples @daffi-990 @disasterbuckdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie 💖

a little more from alive shannon! I think I finished chapter 3 and I hate most of the last 500 words but that's for future/editing me to fix, so good luck to her, I'm moving on 🤣

prev snippet

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He doesn’t know how long it’s been when he hears his phone ring. It sounds too loud in the quiet of the waiting room, everyone’s eyes turn to him. He quickly fishes his phone out of his pocket and sees Shannon’s name on the screen. He picks up, gets up and goes a little further away for some semblance of privacy.

“Hi, listen, now’s not really-” he starts, whispering, but is interrupted.

“Eddie, oh my god, are you okay?”

“I-” he sighs, leaning against the wall. He’s not. He won’t be until he gets his best friend back. That’s not what she’s asking, though. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“How’s Buck? Is he gonna be- I’m so sorry.” she says, pity in her voice. “I just saw the news, god, that was…” she trails off, not knowing how to finish the sentence. Yeah, Eddie gets that. He doesn’t know what that was, either.

“He’s in surgery now.” Eddie says, throat tight. “He should be okay. Though I don’t know about his leg.”

“If you need anything-” she starts, and he thinks about Chris, currently staying with Carla – Eddie’s supposed to be home already. “You know I’m here.”

“I know. Uh, actually, Shan, could you maybe- could you stay with Chris tonight? I don’t want to have to ask Carla to stay too long, and I wanna stick around here. Wait for news.” he says tiredly. He knows there’s no point in being here. Buck’s in surgery, and after they’ll probably won’t be able to see him anyway, he’ll still be under anesthesia, and maybe they’ll let Maddie in. He could ask her to call him with news. Still, he wants to be here. He can’t leave, he just- he can’t. He knows everyone will leave soon, they’re all tired after the day they’ve had, and there’s no use to sit around at the hospital and wait. But he can’t leave.

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no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @911onabc @housewifebuck @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @nmcggg @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @puppyboybuckley @weewootruck @buckaroosheart @spagheddiediaz @steadfastsaturnsrings @exhuastedpigeon @jesuisici33 @theotherbuckley @rainbow-nerdss @malewifediaz @giddyupbuck @jeeyuns @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @hoodie-buck

#the alive shannon fic #fuck it friday #shannon diaz #buddie wip #buddie fic #wikiangela writes #my writing #fic snippet #my wips #tbh not really sure about this snippet either bc i had a lil bit written a year ago before i really started this fic and idk if it fits lol #btw i've made a tiny lil bit of progress on the coffee shop au after literal months so some snippets of that might be coming soon 👀

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littledreamling · 1 year

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I love the thought of Hob spending the 90s (1990s, that is) hooking up with every pale emo/goth/punk Dream lookalike he could find to deal with the fact that he got stood up

But consider: after the very first time he had sex with one of those men, all miles of pale skin and dark hair and blue eyes that were just slightly the wrong shade, Hob spends an hour in the shower trying to wash every trace of the encounter from his skin, from his mouth, from his bones. Because he had promised his Stranger that he would wait, even if it was a promise only he had heard. He had promised his Stranger that they were friends and that he didn’t need anything more than his Stranger’s presence. And here he was, seeking out people who look exactly like him, people who are also strangers, but will never be strangers in the way his Stranger is. In some small way, he has pushed for more, if only by association, and he immediately hates himself for it. Hates the way that he knows the name of the man in his bed and wishes he didn’t. Hates the way he can still hear the man’s choked-off gasps as he came down Hob’s throat and his voice wasn’t deep enough, wasn’t otherworldly enough; it was just a man’s voice and nothing more. Hates that the man didn’t call him Hob because Hob isn’t going by Hob this time around. Hates that he’s used an innocent person to project his own selfish and unwanted desires onto. He hates himself for pushing and for looking for distractions and most of all, for wanting

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eldritchgray · 11 months

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I've been thinking about Mikey as a character, specifically how we see him in SAINW and The Last Ronin, and it's so interesting to me how he turns out really cynical and honestly kinda mean when his family is no longer there.

Obviously an apocalyptic setting would affect anyone, but Mikey's change is something I can't stop thinking about. How he goes from an optimistic goofball to a bitter, cynical, old man.

I'd be interested to see how Mikey might change with his family still there, and how they'd react to it. Like if Mikey had an arc similar to 03 Leo's and ended up the same, though probably to a lesser degree, as he was in SAINW or Ronin

Basically what I'm saying is: what if Mikey got an antihero arc, because you KNOW that turtle is capable of incredible violence. And how would his brothers recon with it

#I'd honestly love to write a fic for this #but i have too many other projects rn #i might end up doing it anyway #because the shift from optimistic goof to cynic is one I've seen in myself #idk #it's just interesting to think about #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2003 #michelangello #2003 michelangelo #sainw #tmnt the last ronin

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grishaverse-chaos · 5 months

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hmmm something about dominik haunting the narrative in king of scars. everything nikolai does is at least a little bit for him. he learns about the life of average ravkan people by meeting dominik's family. he starts gaining influence in politics just so he can improve dominik's life. and then he promises dominik that he won't let ravka break him.

that promise fucking haunts him. it follows him wherever he goes. it's the driving force behind everything he does, every step he takes to heal the centuries-old wounds in ravka. it's what drives him to do better, be better.

dominik is always there, in the back of his mind: this country gets you in the end. always pushing him to do more, because he couldn't save dominik and so he has to save ravka (for dominik) (because he promised) (because he loved him)

#my spicy hot take is that nikolai's relationship with dominik actually affects the narrative of the duology more than -#- his relationship with zoya does #you could argue that *none* of the events of the duology would have happened without dominik's influence #and honestly zoyalai as a relationship doesn't really affect the narrative/plotline all that much #which is One of the problems i have with it being endgame #anyway yes i am writing an angsty nikolai backstory fic why do you ask?#it's mostly about how he reinvents himself at every minor inconvenience (but also how incredibly fucked up his childhood was)#and if i have the energy it might turn into a rewrite of the ending of rule of wolves #bc him giving up the throne just plays into that pattern of running away #so honestly i think it's not a great ending in terms of his arc and character development #this may just be a me thing idk but i just feel like he doesn't actually get that much development in the duology #bc there's this idea of him as being Perfect and Invulnerable and Not Affected By His Trauma #which. is not the case.#it's all very dear reader (taylor swift) imo #ANYWAY #mayhem.txt #mayhem grishaverse originals #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone #king of scars #grishaverse

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yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt · 10 months

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More Nonsense from My Ambrosius Stan Account Post:

As someone who got on Tumblr a couple years ago not really knowing the culture and rarely posts because I don't think anyone cares about the silly worms in my brain I'd like to give everyone who thought it was funny and left a like or a tag or a reblog a very I Love You and here is some more thoughts about it I had through the day that I thought nobody would care about but am posting now

The account was named @gold_loin_love and gained notoriety for being the only stan account Ambrosius actually followed

During the live stream Ballister answered the questions (that he had his followers submit beforehand) while still in character, despite the fact that he was laughing his ass off and Ambrosius was with him.

Example: "'Do you think Ballister and Ambrosius are going to get divorced?' Absolutely. They're terrible together and honestly not even cute. They probably had some cringy beach wedding with their weird pink child officiating. Ew, next question"

Ambrosius would frequently interject

"Do I think Ambrosius was toxic for cutting off Ballister's arm?"

Ambrosius, stealing the phone: "Yes he needs to be cancelled immediately."

Ballister, taking it back: "Wrong that weird creep deserved it to be honest"

He read a couple questions that were defending him and after giving them his joke answer about how they were wrong, thanked them sincerely

(sad time) The first thing he posted after the events of the movie, during which he obviously wasn't posting although how fucking funny would it have been to be Ambrosius and see Ballister's fake stan account post "lol get his ass I hope he died" over footage of him MAIMING HIM in light of all that was happening was "I'm sorry that I've been gone, the death of the Queen really took a toll on me, she was a real role model and inspiration of mine. I'm especially sorry to Ambrosius. I wish I hadn't run away. I wish I'd been there for you through all this, I know it must have been so hard. I really hope everyone forgives him."

(sad time over, silliness resumed) He'd use the account to make fun of Ambrosius and himself in every capacity imaginable

"Check out what Ambrosius wore to the national conference, I love how it's so shiny you can't tell how busy and incongruent the patterns are 😍 we love a maximalist king!!!"

"Ballister Ballhard surprises nobody wearing armor he got at the emo booth of a Renaissance Fair."

There is so much potential for this and I'd love to see more of Ballister being a silly goofball

#nimona #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #goldenheart #idk tumblr culture if i do something wrong pls tell me #im always scared to post if i might commit a faux pas #and to the people who said they'd want to draw this or write or read about it #you have my every permission #and i love you #if someone made something inspired by my cringe brain?#id cry so hard i threw up from love #ive stolen so many people's headcanons for the jumbled fic in my google drive that will never see the light of dat

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tseecka · 4 months

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Here's the thing, halsin is lovely and his proposition is so earnest and sincere that I was sorely tempted

But I keep thinking about astarion's hesitancy and reticence around realizing he is allowed to say no to what people demand of him without risking his safety and security and it fucking KILLS me

He is SO! PERFORMATIVE! With how funny he finds the question of a dalliance with Halsin! I don't think I've ever heard him laugh that much! I don't think I've ever heard so much mirth and dismissive blase attitude from him! And it's SUCH a red flag!

(More thoughts below the cut)

It's so clear that he's TERRIFIED of what will happen if he says no to you, if you tell Halsin you'll ask him at all. That no matter his relationship to Tav, he thinks it's still conditional. (And that's the second time, potentially, that the game suggests Astarion is traumatized by sex.) And he tries to laugh it off and act like it's no big deal, but that big guffawing laugh from Neil is heartbreaking.

I wish it was the opposite. If I could rewrite it--because I think Astarion could benefit from Halsin, for sure, the way so many incredible artists and writers seem to agree based on the gorgeous art and words I've seen--if I could rewrite this one piece of the game, I'd have Halsin approach Astarion first. Make It not about Tav at all. Make it about this stereotypical, Very Good Druid seeing something in Astarion that he desires, something that he has watched grow since the elf's first reluctant heroics saving the Grove. Have Astarion be the one to initiate the conversation with Tav; have him want it, want to say yes, but respect their relationship to ask first. Maybe because he feels ready again, or he likes the feeling of Halsin desiring him, or he'll, because he thinks he might be ready to broach sex again but he doesn't want it to be with Tav in case he fucks it up.

Tav can say no, because they are monogamous and they love Astarion and don't want to share him. They can say yes, of that's what Astarion wants--if he wants to take something that is for himself for his own pleasure, not because he has to in order to be safe. They can reinforce to him that his life and his decisions and, fuck, his body are his own now, he can do what he wants with them. Tav can give him agency. So Astarion can go off, merrily secure in his romantic relationship of equals with Tav, and roll in the hay with Halsin. And maybe there's a little banter for a while, now and again just implying that he and Halsin are still A Thing in the background, even while he and Tav maintain their romantic relationship.

So then Astarion can be the one to come to Tav with a new suggestion--would they like to join? Halsin has expressed interest, appreciation for them. Astarion has been having fun, but it still feels a little like going behind Tav's back (even though they know and have given full consent). He wants to know if Tav thinks there could be something between them and Halsin. If they are amenable, he suggests they get to know one another--without him, for now. So Tav can go to Halsin, and initiate that conversation, and trigger the romance scene, and things can grow from there.

There's room for malicious options too (Tav denying Astarion, or giving him an ultimatum, or being with Halsin and deciding they are still monogamous but want to be with Halsin instead, or treat Astarion even asking as a betrayal or making poor jokes about Astarion's self-worth) but I think in a positive run through it could be just...so lovely. But as it is presented in game--or at least, as it was to me--there was no way in hell I was going to do that to Astarion. I don't care if mechanically there is no impact (disapproval or what have you)--its so clear that he isn't comfortable with it and isn't comfortable with telling you, doing otherwise just because the program doesn't toggle an Astarion Disapproves feels like willful ignorance to everything we know about his character by this point in the game.

#baldurs gate astarion #bg3 #astarion #halsin #halstarion #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #to be clear i am not mad about how it is handled in the game #this is not a criticism #halsin's emphasis on consent is fucking lovely to see #but if i was gonna write the player an opportunity to start a halstarion throuple #id have done it differently #(am i gonna write this fic? idk i might)

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shitouttabuck · 9 months

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wip wednesday

tagged by @rewritetheending @onward--upward and @alyxmastershipper 💓💓💓

i haven’t reeeeally started writing anything other than planning this out broadly because it’s very plot heavy but got a little lost thinkin about the intimacy of shaving the other day so this is from x files au in some shitty shared motel room while they’re cryptid hunting or chasing aliens idk we’ll figure it out

When he emerges, hair towelled dry and in clean clothes, Eddie frowns at him. “What?” he asks. “Promise I didn’t finish all the hot water.” “No, you just look—” Eddie gestures at Buck’s face, “—scruffier than usual.” “Oh,” Buck says, running a hand over his day-four stubble. “I forgot my razor.” “Oh,” Eddie’s face clears, “just use mine.” Buck swallows. “Um. Okay. Thanks.” Eddie nods at him and goes back to squinting at his phone, so Buck about-faces and re-enters the bathroom. It’s not a big deal, he tells himself as he foams up his face. It’s like—like sharing a hairbrush. Intimate, sure, not something you’d tend to do with people you don’t know well, but it’s not a big deal. He wets the razor and brings it to his throat, heart hammering there so violently it feels like his Adam’s apple is trying to get out. If his hand doesn’t stop trembling he’s going to nick himself, and God, he is being absolutely fucking ridiculous. Deep breath. The razor glides over the thin skin of his throat, muscle memory even as he stares at himself in the mirror. Doesn’t think about Eddie doing this every morning, using this very razor. Blade edge kissing his jaw the same way it kisses Eddie’s. Doesn’t think about Eddie doing this for him, hand holding his chin as he shaves Buck carefully, grip firm when he turns Buck’s face this way and that. Doesn’t think about Eddie kissing where the blade kissed him first. Doesn’t think about any of that when he rinses the razor clean and slots it back into the travel mug, where Buck’s toothbrush rests against Eddie’s with such easy familiarity it’s about to spark a whole new crisis.

tagging @try-set-me-on-fire @jeeyuns @housewifebuck @anxieteandbiscuits @forthewolves @zahlibeth @athenagranted @buckactuallys @transboybuckley @icecreampotluck @diazblunt if you have anything to share today or later!

#since starting t the last couple months i've had to start shaving my face and it's quite weird actually! gender is so [waves hand] like idk #but didn't have anyone to teach me. and was just thinking about how it wouldve been a pretty intimate thing if i had #also i think this fic will have switching pov which is very exciting to me #but also. it's a mammoth one even just planning it and i have so much real life shit i've been ignoring #and also writing a shorter silly thing that im having fun with rn so might put this on the backburner #but also x4 my foster puppy just got taken to his new home and im sad and miss him like a goddamn lung #so i need something to distract me every empty minute and eddie diaz as dana scully is going to be that i think #but ALSO there’s so much fic i want to catch up on READING #ain’t enough time in the day. and yet i never seem to do anything #sorry for these endless tags #tag game #wip #x files au

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