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bylertruther · 1 year

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a collection of my thoughts + notes as i read lucas on the line —

first of all, i am, of course, feeling yet another wave of anger at all the "hot takes" that floated around cheapening lucas's season four journey or vilifying him for wanting to try new things, make a better life for himself, and be in the company of other black people that weren't related to him for once. as if his experience as a black boy doesn't make his life all that much harder, so much more complicated and isolating, even as he tries to better it. just... sigh. the more i read the more upset i felt about how fandom, no matter which one it is, treats black characters, especially ones with darker skin.

max breaks my fucking heart into a million pieces in this, over and over again.

i already know that people mischaracterize mike to a horrendous degree, but it is just... funny, for lack of a better word and in a terribly unfunny way, just how egregious it is. mike's written as such a stern stubborn hardass. he's a good older brother, and even uses that Older Brother Voice on others when necessary. he thinks motorcycles are cool, as well as the people that ride them. he's mopey and broody and irritable. he wants to fight to defend the ones he loves, but he won't do it if the offenders are bigger than him, which they often are. he fidgets with an old dnd die. he likes board and card games. he's honestly kind of a Cool^tm nerd guy—just has that standoffish vibe to him. he's the most difficult person to convince, apparently. he's also incredibly cut-to-the-chase, no-bullshit, mega blunt. of course we know that mike can be kind and sweet beyond his years, too, but i feel like that outer, more prominent layer of his—which, honestly, has persisted since the very beginning—is often cast aside by people for something more palatable. sad.

mike is the heart, i know this, everyone knows this, but... it is kind of funny that dustin and mike gave up on calling themselves a party, and what remained of them in hawkins wasn't much, didn't support lucas at all (which did hurt him a lot, because he couldn't give up hope that they eventually would), and that they only came together again like old times when will and el came down, but that togetherness went away once they left again. "look how the party fell apart just by will and el moving away." mike is the heart of the party, yes, but he relies on will, whether it be the support he offers or the inspiration he serves him, in order to be that heart. just interesting to see that repeated here, too.

the party doesn't understand or even see the racism lucas faces, which is to be expected, but still sad.

lucas is prone to nervousness and anxiety, and he clenches his hands into fists to keep them from visibly shaking. he also doesn't like the aggression that's prevalent in hyper-masculine spaces and takes note of it.

lucas's father was adopted by a white family, but they're not allowed to talk about them—ever. he's a vietnam veteran and doesn't talk about his time there either. he prefers keeping a low profile, because he feels that keeps his family, and people like them, safer. he also used to be a barber and he's the one that gives lucas his hi-top fade.

will didn't only wear jonathan's clothes. he also wore joyce's.

so many beautiful and heart-wrenching passages about the monsters of hawkins, which is a repeating motif in these tie-in books. it's classism, racism, homophobia, ableism, and so much more, and it's always there, lying in wait. those vulnerable are expected to remain small and hidden to survive, lest they become targets.

lucas has a dnd character that sounds a lot like robin hood. hashtag commie king 🤝

robin was the wise-beyond-her-years, nonjudgmental mediator between lucas, dustin, and mike. it took them hours to reconcile and she would interfere when it got too heated. lucas also felt that she would've fit right into the party were she their age.

nancy was their official chauffeur. hehe.

max flinches whenever anyone mentions neil or calls her maxine like he does. she also tried to run away on halloween, but talked herself out of it.

mike wasn't interested in dressing up for halloween because will and el were gone. max wanted to go as green lantern and lucas wanted to go as mad max, thinking he could borrow the costume from her.

eddie is apparently a freak, jackass, always high, and looks like he hasn't showered in a week. nice.

lucas knows the "i contain multitudes" walt whitman quote and it was a black boy that shared it with him. that boy, jay, also showed him james baldwin. the sinclairs are also fans of prince. 🌈 :)

i already knew this before reading, but it was nice to have even more proof that lucas is indeed the bestest boy in all of existence. this is #real and true.

#man. this book made me cry so many times lmao. fucking felt. also it was just so... good? beautiful? what a lovely dive into race and class #as well as adolescence and identity and friendship.#books #lotl #now to tag everyone...#lucas #max #mike #will #robin #i might eventually screenshot all of my highlighted passages because i want to archive those but... sigh. that's so much lol.#i'll queue them at some point. probably. hopefully.#mine

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verdantglow · 2 months

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Fuck it, time to be loudly cringe & find my 30 weirdos.

Trafficstuck AU

Because even 12 years after starting Homestuck, I still found myself in bed one night, trying to sleep, but unable to because all I could think about was Griann <> Gudtym Wiscar.

(I’ve got so much figured out for this AU that I don’t know how to share. Please send me asks about your fave/anything you’re curious about so that I can have some direction for this lore vomit!)

#I’ve got troll names & blood colors for everyone #plus a handful of their quadrants figured out #I have so many more ideas tho that I haven’t written down yet #(I should really write this stuff down…)#I can tell you right now tho that there are A Lot of ships in this #mostly because quadrants but also because like #what not have polyamory if it’s my AU & I want to?#also lots of quadrant confusion #because feelings are complicated #(also I promise for my followers who are looking for SmallEtho or scarian)#(that there is plenty of both in this AU.)#trafficstuck #hermitstuck #(because that tag gets seen more & I might expand to all the hermits as well once I know them better!)#traffic smp #trafficblr #verdant art #also I drew these like. Over a month ago.#it was the doodle of Gudtym & Griann that actually drove me to join this fandom.#(this fandom being mcytblr)#I drew these nerds as trolls & suddenly the brain rot had claimed me lol #scarian #I supposed I should tag that just in case.#as it’s explicitly stated here.

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theflyingfeeling · 5 months

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💖 it's here, it's pink, it's sparkly, and full of fluff 💖

Hiiiiii and welcome to witness my attempt at an Olli/Allu Advent Calendar, in which I'll give you ~a cute little something~ about these two idiots in love almost every day until December 24! My plan is to use prompts from this list to either write a fic based on the prompt or just some good ol' delulu thoughts if all else fails. I cannot guarantee there'll be a post literally every day, but I'm really excited to try this out and I thank you for your support along the way in advance 💝

The biggest thanks and a million hugs go to one of my favourite human beings @kraeuterhexchen for making the adorable banner!! I mean helloooooo?? 😭 Go show them some love ❣️

For December 1, the prompt list is titled One True Pairing Moments, and the prompt I chose was 'calling just to hear their voice' 🥺 You can read the fic below, I hope you like it <3

PS. Even though this is an advent calendar of sorts, I'm not planning on making this particularly Christmassy. I hope no one minds terribly!

Falling for Aleksi had, in a way, sneaked up on Olli, at least if he fooled himself a little. He could pretend he didn’t feel any different about the man than he did about, say, Joonas or Tommi, but that strategy only worked for so long – that is to say, approximately until Aleksi as much as smiled softly at him from across a room or bumped his shoulder into his jovially when walking down the street and Olli would feel his breath getting caught in his throat or stumble in his words, his tongue tangled like shoelaces, which was so unlike him as well and frustrated him to no end. It really took a special kind of fool to not only develop some level of feelings for a friend, a colleague, a bandmate for Christ’s sake, but also become so hopelessly enamored with him that you rolled awake in bed in the dead of night, grabbing your phone and tossing it back on the nightstand again and again because you couldn’t decide whether or not you should, on some erratic 2 o’clock impulse, call him to let him know he was the very reason for your insomnia.

Turning on his back, Olli groaned (only a little desperately) as he remembered losing himself in the lingering hug they had shared just before the arrivals lobby at the airport, inhaling Aleksi’s scent and wishing they wouldn’t have to go home just yet, even if Olli was more than ready to finally sleep in his own bed again. Ironically, ever since they had returned home from tour, Olli had spent night after sleepless night missing Aleksi terribly: his stupid jokes and playful banter that bordered on being flirtatious if Olli allowed himself the benefit of delusion; his quick, subtle smiles that probably meant nothing; his little touches Olli hoped meant something; his smell and his touch and the softness of his hair at the back of his neck, compared to which the blanket Olli was grasping in his fist was like sandpaper. (How he had come to know of the qualities of Aleksi’s hair in such detail, he preferred not to dwell on too much to save himself from the heartache, so let’s just leave it at ‘stressful, emotional week far away from home’ and ‘a little too much to drink’).

Above all, Olli missed Aleksi’s voice. He hadn’t even thought that was possible, until the other morning when Olli had woken up to a voice message Aleksi had left just hours earlier, rambling about a song idea he had gotten in the middle of the night – something he did from time to time – and Olli had spent the next several minutes replaying it over and over again as he had lied in bed procrastinating getting up and and instead closing his eyes to better imagine Aleksi lying there beside him, turned on his side to face Olli, talking to him sleepily like they often did when they shared a room on tour and were just too lazy to join others at breakfast. Much like the hug at the airport, Olli wished those moments would have lasted way longer than they did, often ending abruptly when either of their phones would go off with Santeri’s name on the screen, a passive-aggressive interruption to the soft, low tone of Aleksi’s early-morning thoughts. (Sometimes, when Olli was lucky enough, he had been blessed with the bliss of feeling the light touch of a fingertip tracing along his collarbone, cut short just as frustratingly by their well-meaning tour manager politely enquiring whether the two of them had plans of dragging themselves downstairs for some toast and coffee, or if they’d rather starve until lunchtime, for which he wasn’t at all sure they’d even have time that day.)

The lovesick idiot that he was, his thumb hovered over the ‘play’ button of Aleksi’s voice message, probably for the millionth time that week. The chest-carving hesitation turned into a heart flip when he noticed Aleksi was online.

Then Aleksi began to type, and Olli held his breath the entire time until a new message appeared in the thread, anticipation holding him by his throat.

You awake?

Olli exhaled and typed his affirmative reply, leaving out the reason why.

He blinked at the screen, waiting for Aleksi to ask him a random question that clearly couldn’t wait until morning, or perhaps talk about something related to another late-night Twitch stream (from what Olli had gathered, Aleksi had been doing a lot of those recently, and with his last remaining braincell Olli had managed to resist the temptation to watch every single one of them, because he knew that if he did, it would only dig his grave of pining and longing deeper, seeing Aleksi smile and giggle about but not being able to do that with him or snuggle up next to him when he was wearing that flannel Olli often used as a blanket in the tour bus). But instead of another text appearing on the screen, Olli’s phone began to vibrate in his hand, and it took him an embarrassingly long while to understand it was because Aleksi was calling him.

“Hi,” he sighed when he finally collected himself enough to speak. He prayed he’d be able to hear what Aleksi was going to say from the thumping heartbeat echoing in his ears.

“Hi,” a soft voice said. “Sorry, I know it’s late…”

“No, not at all,” Olli hurried to say, “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping. Not even close, actually.” Part of him hoped Aleksi wouldn’t ask about it, but in some foolhardy way the possibility intrigued him.

Nothing much, he would have likely said anyway, but what would happen if he told Aleksi how it really was? That he squeezed his pillow imagining it was him instead, or wailed into it because something had reminded him of a moment-that-was-probably-not-a-Moment™ they had shared? What would Aleksi say if he knew Olli sometimes touched himself the way Aleksi had touched him That One Night they never talked about? The only obstacle between Olli and that knowledge was a bottomless ocean of cold sweat and cowardice, and Olli had never been a great swimmer.

“So, ummm…,” Olli said when Aleksi’s end stayed silent. “What’s up?”

A short breath of laughter sounded through the phone line.

“Honestly? I don’t know, I… It’s just been a… weird week, I guess.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, like… my head’s just been so full of… everything and… I’ve been so busy and kinda tense and… fuck, this is going to sound crazy,” Aleksi laughed that brief laugh again, although to Olli it didn’t sound particularly cheerful. Tired, more like. Strained, somehow. Not sad, but definitely a little troubled, and Olli intended to find out why.

“I’m all for crazy, you know.” Olli hoped his sorry attempt to lighten Aleksi’s mood would work, and so he smiled in relief when he heard Aleksi chuckle at his comment.

“I know,” Aleksi said softly, in that tone of voice that had Olli melt against his bedsheets. “So yeah, it’s been a rough week, but… in between all that stupid shit, I’ve been thinking a lot about… umm… well, the tour and– and… about you, for some reason,” (the troubled laugh made its return) “and… yeah. That’s sort of helped me a lot recently.”

Olli listened to the words carefully, not fully believing what he was hearing, yet clinging on to them until they were all but swirling around in his otherwise empty head like dry leaves in October wind.

“And tonight I just couldn’t fucking sleep for some reason and nothing I did seemed to help and so I thought I’d call you. And I’m–” If it hadn’t been dead silent otherwise, Olli wouldn’t have heard the shaky breath Aleksi paused to take, “I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour and bothering you with this all but I guess I just… wanted to hear your voice. To see if that would help.”

“Does it?” Olli asked. Aleksi’s confession had made him clasp his blanket close to his chest, as if that would do anything about his rapidly beating heart.

“Yeah. It does. So maybe just… keep talking?”

Despite his mind living a life of its own, completely unfit to form a single coherent thought, for Aleksi’s sake Olli tried his best to think of something to say, but everything he came up with was something he was not ready to tell him quite yet.

“Uuummmm…” he said to buy himself some time, but while he waited for his useless brain and mouth to form any actual words, Aleksi spoke again.

“Fuck, I’m– I’m sorry, this is too weird, I shouldn’t have– I’ll let you go back to–”

“I miss you,” Olli blurted before Aleksi would hang up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Aleksi went silent, too silent for too long for it to mean any good.

The line stayed open, however, which Olli took as a positive sign, even if the seconds during which all Olli could hear was Aleksi's quiet breathing seemed endless.

“And I you,” Aleksi finally replied. “A little too much, probably, or at least that’s what it feels like,” he chuckled. Olli almost missed the quiet sniff that followed.

He had to steel himself for his next question.

“What do you mean?”

“Just… forget it.” Aleksi said quietly. Contrary to Aleksi’s request, Olli knew he was going to all but ‘forget it’ for the next 3-5 business days; mentally he booked all his evenings as well as most of his mornings and noons for pondering what exactly had been in Aleksi’s mind in that moment or why he had sounded so sombre, almost disappointed. He’d probably never come to any satisfactory conclusion about it though, at least not without a little help from Aleksi himself.

A ridiculous idea popped into his head, and before he could stop himself, the words flooded out of his mouth.

“Do you wanna come over some time? To hang out? When your schedule’s a little less tight, I mean.” He sucked on his lips and closed his eyes as he waited for Aleksi’s answer, ready to hang up the moment he’d decline the offer on some obvious and logical reason for why Aleksi couldn’t possibly make nor want to take a trip to the north to see him, such as ‘didn’t we just spend over two months on the road together?’ or ‘damn, buddy, I miss you alright but not quite that much, I’ve done enough sitting in public transportation for one year, thank you very much lol’ or ‘what about Rilla?’

“You could take Rilla with you, you know.” Olli hurried to say, just in case, the deranged part of his brain thinking there might be a chance Aleksi might be at least considering it.

“Oh! Well, umm… I actually might have time next week? If– if you’re actually being serious about this.”

Funny you should ask, Aleksi; I’ve actually never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am about having you here with me so that I can hold you and be held by you and see your face when I wake up in the morning and say goodnight to your annoyingly cute face instead of via text message and maybe, if the stars are in position and the northern wind won’t discourage me too much, I might actually be brave enough to torment you with the knowledge of just how miserable I’ve been since we last saw each other.

“I think it would be cool,” he said, because he had a feeling what he wanted to say would’ve been a tad too much and sudden. “I mean, if you’re up for it, of course. I understand if you can’t make it though, I know you have all those side projects.”

“No, I think it might actually do me some good to get out of the capital area for change.” Then there was a muffled ‘ouch’, followed by a laugh that sounded much brighter than any of the other ones Olli had heard from Aleksi that night. “Sorry, correction, it might do us some good. Rilla just told me she’s most definitely coming too. Rilla, stop nibbling on my toes!”

Olli smiled tiredly at the mental image that was painted in his mind of Aleksi and Rilla cuddling in bed, both minding their own business from what it seemed while still minding each other as well, very much indeed.

“I’ll be sure to set up a bed for her in the guest room.”

“The guest room? Do you not know her at all? If she’s not getting the master bedroom, she’ll ruin all your rugs and most of your shoes. Probably also gossip about you to all the neighbourhood dogs. And she’s brutal.”

Olli held his stomach as he laughed, tears almost forming in the corners of his eyes. In his defence, it was late and he was finally becoming tired, thus too far gone to help himself, let alone feel embarrassed about being in stitches about something Aleksi had said that was only mildly amusing. (It wasn’t the first time that had happened either, and likely not the last time.)

“So yeah, ummm, I can take a look at some flight options for next week and let you know, alright? I’m gonna let you sleep now and… I should get some myself too.”

Olli wanted to tell Aleksi he’d love to stay up chatting until dawn, but the yawn he let out when he opened his mouth to speak implied Aleksi had a point.

“Yeah, let me know. And… thanks for calling, I… you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”

That was as close to a confession as Olli was able to get as of now.

“Probably not half as much as I did.”

Olli chuckled at Aleksi’s response, mostly to hide his own agony.

If only you knew. If only I knew how to tell you.

It didn’t take long for Olli to doze off after they hung up, and when he woke up to the kids from next door having a snowball fight under his window in the morning, he noticed new messages from Aleksi, sent half an hour after their phone call had ended, complete with screen captions of airplane schedules.

Would these days work for you? I might be free all week actually 😇

Olli cuddled into his pillow while typing his reply, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Aleksi.

yeah I’m free as well. I’ll pick you two up from the airport 🖤

From then on, Olli started counting the days until he’d see Aleksi again.

#blind channel fanfiction #blind channel rpf #ollixallu #24 days of gift-giving by theflyingfeeling #<- that's the tag i'll be using for these btw #everyone stop and look at the banner!! 🥺💖#it's not QUITE like the original one ju made first but maybe one day you'll get to see that masterpiece as well 😏#but ooff the way i've gone from having 'a plan' to having 'a better plan' to having 'no plan whatsoever' with this? 😂#so yeah idk what kinda fics/posts there'll be in this series... stay tuned and see for yourself! 🤭#some of them might be in the same universe/plot. others may not. who knows? not i 😌#(...but as you can see from this fic the door for a multiple-part story is definitely open 👀)#some of the fics may not even be based on a prompt though if i'm not feeling like it. honestly i'm curious to see how this will turn out!#(and if this ends up being the only post i ever make that's alright too! i refuse to bully myself with a hobby i'm doing for free <3)#however: i'm not taking requests per say BUT feel free to snoop on the prompts for each day and send me your ideas or hopeful wishes 👀#there are certain ones i'm more drawn to but i haven't really set anything in stone #one could say i'm just going with the flow. fuck around and find out if you will ✨#also: not sure if/when i'll be bothered to post any of these on ao3 #probably i'll just see how many fics i manage to actually finish and dump them all at once on ao3 on christmas day lol #anyway! enjoy & let me hear from you <3

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da-proti-toku-grem · 2 months

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i was having a midnight talk with my brother yesterday and i told him that when i went out with my friend the other day i didn't have any anxiety attack (like it usually happens to me every time i go out of my house), and you know i wasn't expecting him to say anything about it, people would usually go "...okay? 🤨" like, that's what it's supposed to be like, why would you have anxiety because of that? but he went: "Good! 😁" and high-five'd me

and i- i didn't know what to say but it warmed my heart :(

#i'm might or might not be tearing up a little as i write this #like. i don't think anyone has ever reacted like that when i tell smth like this #i think no one that i know irl really understand my social anxiety and everyone is like 'oh she's just shy'#and when i gather the courage to do smth that makes me feel really anxious (but it's considered 'normal' and 'not a big deal') people just -#- laugh it off in front of my face and they're like 'oh look at her! she did [whatever]'#and idk if it makes me more sad or angry. definitely both #but i never say anything ofc bc my fucking anxiety doesn't let me be mean to anyone on purpose even if they really deserve it sometimes #(well. that might just be my personality in general more than my anxiety but oh well)#fuck i'm ranting again but yeah. i felt good that someone for once didn't just laugh and actually acknowledged that it is hard for me #but i did it anyways and i didn't feel bad about it (just this time but smth is smth)#and i should be proud of myself for taking these little steps (i'm telling this to myself to convince me that it's true)#(idk it's working really well lol)#maca speaks #venting #(the venting was more just the tags but you get it)

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ssreeder · 1 year

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Chapters: 9/? Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Aang/Katara (Avatar), others to be tagged later - Relationship Characters: Sokka (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar), Aang (Avatar), Katara (Avatar), Toph Beifong, Jet (Avatar), Suki (Avatar), Kyoshi Warriors (Avatar), Iroh (Avatar), Jee (Avatar), Hakoda (Avatar), Bato (Avatar), A bunch of OCs, Long Feng, Joo Dee (Avatar), Azula (Avatar), Mai (Avatar), Ty Lee (Avatar), Ozai (Avatar), General Fong (Avatar) Additional Tags: Violence, Blood and Injury, War, Minor Character Death, Rape/Non-con Elements, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Attempted Sexual Assault, Major Character Injury, Amputation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, possible major character death, themes similar to the first two books, Sexism, Racism (like has already been written in first two books), dark themes, Human Trafficking, Slavery, Just a lot of dark war-like themes, there will be a battle, Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Injury Recovery, Healing, Underage Sex, Underage Drinking, Animal Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Warnings each chapter, Hopefully some healing for Zuko finally, no promises, but that’s the goal, Reunions, hopefully a happy ending, Sokka gets some healing too, Non-Consensual Drug Use Series: Part 3 of Leaving It All Behind Summary:

-This is the last book of the series LIAB, please go read the other two books before this, or you will be very confused-

Zuko has been taken by the Earth Kingdom army to who-knows-where, and Sokka is determined to get him back.

But he can’t do it alone.

With Suki and the Kyoshi Warriors by his side, Sokka is headed to Ba Sing Se to find Katara and Aang so they can go rescue his fire bender.

Things aren’t as easy as he had hoped. Corruption, lies, and unknown horrors await them inside the city’s walls. None of this is helping Sokka’s mental well-being.

Hakoda and his men face a problem of their own as Azula approaches with the intentions of making it rain fire.

Sokka and Zuko will both find themselves having to reintegrate back into a life they thought they left behind, with people they hardly remember. It isn’t easy for anyone, especially when they don’t recognize the person standing in front of them.

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spider-man-2o99 · 11 months

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Just wanted to say that I have been thinking of you and pre-emptively empathizing with the nonsense you are no doubt being flooded with and the psychic damage it must be causing. Keep stanning the king ignore the weirdos <3

thankg u.,, i feel like ive been trapped in a fuckign . Torture Labyrinth these past coupl days . but. wwe will. We Will Yet Persist onwards w/ our hand on the left wall till we;re either out or at the center i swear 2 fucking GOD,

#talking tag #asks #th pain is forever the Horrors r unending the lack of media comprehension on all sides is Disappointin But Also My Goddamn Life I Guess lol #though i will say ppl in my inbox have actually been.. surprisingly polite overall? if not outright rather kind as a whole. um. post-atsv.#but. god. i have not Talked About so much of that movie because i kind of just.#..ok actually i realize this is gonna sound rude as hell lmao. but. hhaha i Kinda Just. was fool enough to Assume that everbody would yknow #like. Comprehend The Film yk yk yk. since it is a well-written movie that doesnt try to Hide any of what it;s abt? yk?#i come On Here onto tumblr dot bumblr and i make my stupid esoteric gddamn complaints abt 2099 Themes for Me Only so my head doesnt blow up #n silly ol me i really do like earnestly honestly in my Heart think. like. we all saw the same movie. right? mayb thingsll calm down.#but oh oh oh oh oh no no no No No. they do Not calm down they get So Much Worse.#and now hypothetical Internet Strangers might be Passing Judgement bcuz we look like an Apologist 4 assuming Everyone Knew Media Literacy #CHRIST. do people think i think mig was. like. In The Right. in atsv. no ive known he would be Wrong for years dudes.#why do yall think i was so low-key Disappointed he was placed in a role that couldve better suited. like. Superior Spider-Man.#public image. DING-DONGs. man he is Never Going To Be In Movies Again After This Hes An AU SPIDER-MAN FROM THE 90S. LORD!#i had SO MUCH FUN watching atsv!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i dont like the choices it made to put miguel in the situation that it did. Bizarre Thematic Changes to 2099 that Only I Care Abt. but like #that is SUCH a fuckin SMALL and insanely autistic nitpick like i earnestly loved the hell out of the film and its mig is--#--Earnestly One Of His Better/Best Adaptations despite bein within the limited confines of th plot nd setting he is In & w/o his inner mono #..i just. Hate So Much That This Movies Version Of Miguel Will Be The Only One That Anybody Knows For The Next Seven Years At Least. yknow.#i lov watching that fuckers trainwreck of a slowmotion mental breakdown for two hours but the movie gave practically Zero Context 2 newbies #BTSV please save me BTSV please save me BTSV PLEASE save me PLEASE please please please PLEASE BTSV youre my last hope....#(arthur clenching his fist meme) ppl r Already so shitty 2 ppl w/ Messy Symtptoms i could Handle losing MK but SM2099 means too much 2 me..

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teufelme · 8 months

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You ever just want to talk about Bertl,

#i . ooc .#The tags got so long just warning U now!#OK I know his appearance wasn't the longest but like. I'll never stop talking about him because he doesn't get enough credit? rip.#I know it's not really relevant any more because post-timeskip everyone is a lot better but. Referring to everyone's skill as of pre.#Reiner said Bertolt was the strongest of all of the shifters but he held himself back. He came 3rd without giving his all. Or really trying #I hc he held himself back to try not to let too much of his strength show bc people forget he had military training b4 joining the 104th.#And ofc. Also to not bring too much attention to himself bc of who he really is???#The way he mastered his Titan straight away and also has such a good handle on it.#Out of the 3 shifters he was the one that stayed true to the mission. Despite his reluctance he's got the strength and commitment.#People are so quick to say he relies on Reiner too much. And while he does at times. Reiner relies on him just as much if not more. Even if #Reiner doesn't realise it. Bertolt keeps him on track and has no one supporting him at all.#In COTT arc... U see him dodge Mikasa who is an Ackerman and seen as one of the strongest characters in the series...#And the same in RTS. Everyone gets too distracted by Mikasa to actually pay attention to how he dodges her 4 times?? Even tho she attacks #from behind? And the way he lands a hit on her. I just *screams*. I love how many times she tries to kill him. lol #How effective he is when he abandons his guilt and this is sort of irrelevant but. It's so special to me because as someone who is #a quiet person irl round people I don't know well. Who has it brought up a lot. I just adore when a character that remains in the #background just comes out and says enough is so hhhhh I know his reasons aren't good BUT RTS BERT... AH.#Also gotta talk about his marksmanship skills in a thread at some point?? Maybe Mp bert I J UST..#Anyway I might do a cheeky revamp of graphics n icons and that. Dunno yet. Need to actually write that'd be good lol.#This account is a lovebot didn't U know.

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aluminumoxideaddict · 1 year

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Some previews of art I’ve been working on during the last nine months or so, just to break my unintended hiatus and to show I’m still alive.

I’m hoping to revamp this blog a bit and update a bunch of my old art during May and June... if life doesn’t get in the way, that is.

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #uma musume #pokemon #not tagging all the characters lol #I'm also planning to revamp my website as well soonish. Going to bribe my coder friend because hell if I know what I'm doing. Like... ever.#And finding an art website where I can post my nsft stuff uncensored!#I'm also thinking of migrating to a more all-purpose art blog that isn't just HnK stuff.#I dunno. We'll see.#Might be a while before I post any of these finished pictures #But if there's one you'd like to see sooner rather than later feel free to let me know.#Or if you have any requests #I appreciate everyone who's liked my silly art or sent me kind words. :)

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whirlybirdwhat · 4 months

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hi! first off i wanted to say i love your writing!! i was wondering if you would be alright with me recording and posting a podfic of your story "in the eye of the hurricane". i've recorded a couple podfics just for personal use and enjoyment, but this would be my first time posting anything! i'd of course credit you and link back to your fic. thanks!!

-wisty

(ao3 under the same username)

Hey! Thank you so much !!!! Sorry this took a bit, but yes feel free!!! I'd love to hear it <3 just do what you said you would do (credit, link back, etc.) and i'm good with it :D

i... really need to add a blanket statement lmao

#thank you for asking!!!!#@ everyone i usually have slow response times but might be. incredibly slow im taking 7 classess this semester all of them stem somehow and #well. despite being in this degree only english/humanities stuff comes easy LOL so im working my ass off aand im only 2 dayss in #SO TO SSUMARIZE. SLOW RESPONSE. anyway wisty!!! thaank you for asking sso excitted to hear it !!!#whirlywhat #whirlyanswers #is that my askbox tag i cannot remember jfc

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archduke-enver-gortash · 8 months

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what if gortash had a special whip he only uses on zeke. all fancy and handmade by him with the finest (and hardest) leathers and everything. specially adorned and all white and built so intimately attuned to zeke’s weaknesses. sohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh normal.

#even if this is too much i don’t think gortash would ever use one on zeke that he uses on slaves.#his treatment is of zeke is much crueler in some ways but he’s still the only other person in the world to him #never a slave. if zeke ever gave him reason to think of him as the cattle he sees everyone else as he might as well just kill him #cuz that wouldn’t be zeke to him anymore #again. don’t hesitate in filtering this tag if you don’t want to see this type of content.#i will write the evil characters being evil and horrifically toxic. it’s only gonna get more severe from this point lol #gortash & zeke

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strawberryseeded · 1 month

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itadori yuji: unwavering humanity

sorry this is mostly rambling tbh i just need to get this STUFF out of my system !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ive had this in my drafts for over a MONTH now so i just need it OUT

from the beginning of jjk, itadori wants to help ppl by allowing them to die a "proper death". during his time as a sorcerer, however, and particulary after (his first time lol) dying in the reform school, he realized how weak he was & how much he wasnt even in control of his own death. the curses were. sukuna was. and itadori learnt what it felt to be scared of his own helplessness.

but still, bc hes itadori yuji (a very stubborn guy who keep moving forward no matter what, without thinking, without an ounce of self-preservation), he still mantained this goal of helping ppl. this time, however, understanding that in order to do so, he has to (in typical shounen fashion) get stronger.

in the next arc, itadori meets junpei and mahito. we learn that junpei is a nice kid, but as we know, after much pain and sorrow plus mahito's manipulation and corruption, he ends up trying to kill his classmates. itadori once again faces the fact that there's a lot of evil in this world. there's people he can't save, things he can't fix. even more importantly, if it's about curses as evil as mahito, he wants to kill (itadori and mahito's enmity is really prolongued and interesting in general, constantly making each other evolve).

a bit later, he and kugisaki kill two death wombs (who they believe are curses at first) and after that he learns (from sukuna who just needs to make him suffer more, as a little treat <3) that it's bc he ate sukuna's finger that many spirits are awakening and causing ppl to die. he doesn't exactly regret his actions, but it all weights on him, painfully so.

on his way to save as many ppl as possible, itadori has become stronger, but he's also killed.

then comes shibuya (ha.....)

after losing people so close to him, allowing sukuna to end so many lives and being made fun of by sukuna and mahito for being so naive and (again) so weak, itadori almost gave up his goal. it's thanks to todo's ted talk that he got up again (as he always does).

itadori thru this arc learns to see himself not as a hero but as a cog in a machine. he's only human, after all: an individual (a weak one at that), but also part of something way bigger. his values, beliefs and desires are itadori's: born from his temperament and upbringing. individual. but the fact that he is human shapes him, the same way being a curse shapes mahito.

itadori finally understands that caring about people it's in his nature because he is human, but also that the why doesnt matter. and so, to save people, he'll kill mahito like it's also second nature to him.

(is he fine with it? does he want to? thats not relevant anymore. he's only following his nature, moving in automatic-mode. like a predator when he sees prey. not evil, not selfish. just doing what he needs to, what he's made for).

after shibuya itadori changes. he's still him, but the way he kills curses and tackles his job as a sorcerer it's almost machine-like. it's kinda eerie. we know he's not a machine, obviously. by this point we know itadori well: his immense suffering caused by other's peoples deaths and pain, we see his scars. he's still very much human, and still very much itadori.

more than ever before he wants to help people.

the thing is... despite what he said to mahito about saving people "for no reason, just like mahito kills and makes people suffer for no reason", itadori's desire to help people says a lot about him.

from the very beginning this desire has profoundly affected the way he interacts with other people and also the way he views himself. he's only worthy and valuable when he's able to save people. it gives him a role to play, a reason to live, a way to connect with others.

(it always has: in one of the first chs (i think ch 3 in the manga?), when confronted with the reason for becoming a sorcerer, he finally admits that he wanted something only he could do. that's even why he joined the occult club (which was bound to shut down without him) but not the sports clubs even when he was clearly gifted for any sport he could play. yes, it was also bc he wanted to visit his grandpa at the hospital, but itadori wanted to be needed. to serve others).

even when it's hard, when he doesn't want to, when the price is so high...

for itadori it's not only an instinct, it's a choice.

and then the culling games happen... and sukuna takes megumi's body.

megumi's itadori's friend, itadori cares about him. and megumi saved him. and he is taken by sukuna bc of itadori's fault. bc of the vow he and sukuna made that itadori cant even remember.

itadori's no longer sukuna's vessel now, so his initial purpose of retrieving sukuna's fingers so he can be killed along him is over. by this point he's long realized not only that he can't save every single person, but that he cant avoid killing and hurting other ppl, can't control his own death, can't even protect people who are close and important to him. he's weak, he's "bad". guilty. but it's not like before; itadori doesn't want to absolve his sins, that's not why he does what he does.

itadori's only goal remains unchanged: to save megumi and fucking KILL sukuna once and for all. it's literally his life purpose; once a wish given by his grandfather, then a duty imposed by the jujutsu society. now, it's itadori's own will. he despises sukuna. it's absolutely personal.

more than ever, his capability to help and save other people gives him a purpose, a reason to live and keep moving forward. its what keeps him grounded and himself. what makes him so human, despite all the pain and all the evil, despite all of the powerful curses and curse users around him who thrive on hurting and taking. no matter how many times he's beaten to the ground, he gets up again, his ideal never faltering. he'll always care about and do his best to protect people.

this is the reason why sukuna cant really figure him out. why he says over and over again thru the series that itadori's boring and weak. sukuna was human once, a sorcerer as well, but the thing is... he was strong. insanely so. and the way sees it, being strong is everything, not a plus, but a must. being weak is equivalent to death, so helping the weak is pointless. being already at the top of the food chain, sukuna's only moved by and interested in power and strenght, and so, he doesnt really get itadori. he sees him as -basically- a pathetic insect, which is, funnily, part of the reason why he hasnt killed him yet (the other part of the reason is, as ive said, that itadori is tough as nails).

& maybe it sounds kinda cheesy but i do truly think that all of what i just said is the reason why itadori just might win. he literally represents the compassion and resilience of humans, even against pure evil. this unwavering humanity and love for other people, even when it's painful and hard, is what makes him so strong, in a way sukuna doesnt understand. this is why people love itadori yuji.

#NOTE: each time i say itadori's weak i mean by jjk's world's cruel standars lol T-T this boy is STRONG both physically & mentally #jjk #jjk manga spoilers #no i can't stop thinking abt itadori yuji AGAIN. SO WHAT #i wanna talk more abt sukuna..hes insane. but ill SHUT UP for now #oh alsoooooooo another part of me believes that uhh sukuna might as well win and jjk will end in a 'and the adventure continues...'#bad yet hopeful kinda way...like..itadori & sukuna keep fighting till death #even after sukuna wins & destroys everything n everyone itadori loves (even more)..or something #BUT I WANTED 2 KEEP THE POST ITSELF POSITIVE SO THAT STAYS IN THE TAGS #....oh fuck ...tthis..got long....#di4ry

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