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chaosgremlinmunson · 23 days

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Rocker Stevie

Might be part one.

Diane: So let's set the scene, it's 1988, you're newly 21. You are top of the charts bubblegum pop princess Stevie Hendrix. You're married to top selling actor Tommy Hagan known for his action films and beach body. You just won two Grammys that year, and then, what happened?

Stevie: So, like you said. I was newly 21, I married my highschool sweetheart who'd reached stardom right alongside me as an actor instead of in music, which, honestly Diane, thank God for that. The man has no idea how to hold a tune, he'd likely make a dying cat sound like a siren. Laugh No, really! It's that bad! Anyway, I was fresh off my latest tour for Rainbows and Leather and came home to see my darling husband. I was so excited I'd been missing him, you know. Well, I walked into the house and what did I find? My husband, in bed butt naked with my Best friend and his personal assistant at my behest, Carol Perkins. To tell you the fallout from that was anything less than apocalyptic would be selling it short.

Diane: So after the absolutely dramatic divorce, you decided to change genres? Why Rock?

Stevie: Rock spoke to my soul, I wrote ‘I wanna ghost myself’ one night drunk on apple spritzers with my sister Robin, and her best friend Eddie. They'd been in my corner from the start, but Eddie and I always nipped at each other about our music tastes, then that night he picked up his guitar and started playing and ‘I wanna ghost myself' just flowed out. I was laid out on the floor by the ending between lighter and tears, and just felt so free. So like myself. And that was it, Stevie hung up her rainbows and sunshine and embraced her chaos and revenge.

Diane: So where did the lyrics 'think I'll take my heart and throw it off a cliff, yeah I have a feeling that it won't be missed” come from?

Stevie: You have to understand, I was devastated by what Tommy did. I had only ever been with him to that point in my life, he'd made me believe he was the only one for me. That without him my life would feel meaningless because up to that point every moment together he showered me in affection and praise. He was the ideal husband on the surface, and then I found out he'd been having an affair with Carol for literal years. Everyone knew except for me, and I was crushed. ‘Think I'll take my heart and throw it off a cliff’ was me almost literally saying my heart is broken and I don't want to feel anymore. I became wild and lost myself to the music. Eddie wrapped me in leather and lace and asked me to be the front woman for his band. I was shocked, because honestly was I going to make it delving into a whole new genre? I'd already come to the end of my contract with Upside Down records, so I wasn't concerned about what my team thought. However, my fan base? Would they still love me the same, would I make it? I was scared, and then we had our first show. It was small, and it was a test for me to see if I could do this. The world caught fire for me that night, and I never looked back.

Diane: So let's fast forward, finally Devil's Prey became a household name, and Stevie Hendrix was a sensation. What happened the night of the music awards, in your own words.

Stevie: So, for years I'd gone by Stevie Hendrix so no one would know who I was. It was mid set for ‘Bulletproof’ and as I turned the lights cut out and a picture lit up the screen. It was a photo of me on my wedding day, my eyes crossed out and ‘Stefania Harrington the Whore’ written across my body as I stood between Tommy, his old friend Billy, and Jason Carver. I screamed, and looked back at the audience just as Eddie tackled me to the ground and a shot whipped past my head.

Diane: So Eddie Munson saved you that day?

Stevie: Yes, he did. He held me while I sobbed in the green room. I never knew someone could be so hateful just because my songs brought what they'd done to light, but there I was running for my life while the security detail searched for the gunman. Eddie was furious, he held onto me and told me we were going to my place with his security, to pack up my things and come to his. See, Eddie lived in a damn near impenetrable home, there was no way anyone could get to me there. Of course I wanted to fight him on it, but I'm just a girl at the end of the day, and Eddie Munson has an energy you just don't fight when it's directed at you.

Diane: So you moved in that night?

Stevie: Yes. Eddie was my shadow for days, I barely could use the restroom without him following me around. It was aggravating at times, but I saw how scared he was when he wasn't in the spot he could see me.

Diane: He was traumatized.

Stevie: He was traumatized and he was ready to follow me to hell if he needed just to make sure I was safe. I never knew what love was until I was met with the force of Eddie Munson’s protection. He woke my dead heart up again, and I was doomed from the start.

Diane: So eventually the agents you had investigating the shooting found out who shot that gun, and who hired him.

Stevie: I need a minute before we talk about this. Let me just grab a water and ask Eddie to come sit with me.

Diane: Take your time.

Stevie and Eddie walk back in, they're holding hands and Eddie is murmuring to Stevie who's looking like she may just pass out from nerves. She squeezes Eddie's hand and takes a seat, Eddie sits beside her his fingers laced with hers.

Stevie: Okay, I'm ready. Breathes in deeply So Jim Hopper was the head agent on the investigative team. He had become something like a father figure to Robin and I over the years after my parents’ accident. When Jim came into Eddie's house his face was drawn, and I knew then that the people who had attacked me knew me. He sat me down and told me as gently as possible that Tommy had asked Billy to do the job. He was furious at my songs, and apparently the fan base put two and two together and his career began to tank. People were boycotting his movies. I didn't know, I swear, I just wanted my freedom and an outlet for all my pain. I deserve to have that without someone threatening me, you know? Tommy had hired Jason who was in tech support to upload the photo in the middle of our set. It was this whole plot. Make me pay in the most public way possible.

Eddie: I wanted to rip them apart. Stevie was distraught, she is such a good person. And if I could take her pain away I would, happily.

Stevie: I know you would, but you going to prison wouldn't have helped me. I need you here Eddie.

Eddie: I'm not leaving, not ever.

Stevie: So the trial came and went. They'd found loads of evidence in Tommy's apartment, through the baking records, phone records. I mean they pretty much wrote out in neon lights that they planned to kill me. Laughs incredulously All because Tommy couldn't handle the consequences of being a shitty husband?

Eddie: He never deserved you, Stevie.

Stevie: blushes and ducks her head Oh hush you big sap.

Diane: So the bad guys are caught, you're safe now, what does the future hold for Stevie Hendrix?

Stevie: More Rock and Roll obviously, but therapy to deal with the trauma. Mandatory family nights. Just things to help me feel back to myself.

Eddie: Hopefully a wedding soon, too. That is if you say yes. Eddie Munson sank to one knee reaching into his pocket and pulling out a ring. Stevie stared at him, her eyes glassy before grabbing him by his curls and kissing him, she giggled a yes, and he slipped the ring on her finger. She said yes!

Stevie: I said yes. I love you Eddie Munson.

Diane: I'm so happy for you both!

Eddie: I love you Stevie Hendrix, I can't wait to be Mr. Hendrix!

Diane: Well, It was lovely sitting with you for this interview. Thank you for agreeing to be on my show, and I can't wait to see the wedding photos one day.

Stevie: See the photos? Diane, you're invited to the wedding!

Diane: Oh wow! I'd be honored.

Stevie and Eddie stood and walked off the stage where Robin stood, her face lit in a blinding grin, she embraced her sister letting out a laugh and they both turned to wave to Diane who smiled and waved back. The show was over, but Stevie’s life was only just beginning.

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belovedharringrove · 2 years

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i’ll finish the pool thingy later, have this while i nap

#harringrove #steve harrington #mentioned billy hargrove #robin buckley #heather holloway #chrissy cunningham #carol perkins #rea's twitter aus

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docockbrainrot · 2 years

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i love villains. redeemable or irredeemable. don't care. putting them in my mouth.

#lets see who are my favorites #handsome jack #vaas montenegro #doc ock #hesitant to even say billy bc hes not really a villain in the same way but #yeah sure #billy hargrove can be apart of it #i have so much love for the fucked up little guys #special mention to #oswald cobblepot #my boy

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weird-an · 3 months

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Billy: It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

Steve: …

Billy: It's Billy and Steve. Who is this Adam guy-

Steve: Are you fucking serious?

#billy heard some protesters yell that and immediately got jelly #tw religious mention #harringrove #billy x steve #billy hargrove #steve x billy

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half-oz-eddie · 4 months

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Billy's been living with the Byers-Hopper family for almost 4 months. He still isn't very receptive to Joyce or Jim's gentler parenting methods, nor does he understand why Will and El keep bugging him to play as if he's some super fun guy to be around.

Jonathan doesn't bother him too much. Sometimes they smoke weed together and run errands together, but they don't exactly hang out and that's fine with Billy.

On Christmas morning, he wasn't expecting much. He thought he'd sit in the corner and watch everyone else open gifts while he was excluded, because that was what he was used to.

But it didn't go that way. Joyce invited Steve over for Hot Chocolate and presents, which, to Billy's surprise, he received many of. Steve bought him a new watch, El made him an ashtray, Will drew a poster for his bedroom, and Joyce and Jim...well, they gave him a big red box with a bow on it.

Billy slowly opened the box, his brows furrowing at the little shaking furball inside.

"A puppy?" He chuckled. "You got me a puppy?"

"He's a rescue from the animal shelter." Joyce smiled. "And you know what? His name's Billy too! It's almost like fate!"

Billy didn't hate dogs, but he didn't really care about having one very much either. "Gotta admit, you're pretty cute, though." He smirked at the puppy. "Guess you're mine, now."

2 days after Billy got little Billy, he caught him chewing on his shoes and he shouted at him.

"No! Don't chew on my shoes! The hell's the matter with you?"

The puppy cowered in a corner, whimpering and Billy sighed, remembering how frightened he was when he would get yelled at.

"Shit. I'm sorry. You're just a puppy, you probably don't know any better." He sighed, kneeling down and reaching out a gentle hand for little Billy. "Look, pup, you can't chew on shoes, alright? Bad." He pointed to the shoe. "Not food. No."

Little Billy cocked his head to the side, then peed on the floor.

"Jesus Christ." He whispered to himself. "Listen. You can't piss on my floor, and you can't chew my stuff, alright? We can't share space like this if you're gonna tear up my stuff." He lifted little Billy and brought him to the newspaper on the floor. "Pee here." He pointed to the wet spot on the floor. "No. Bad. Not for peeing."

Eventually, Little Billy understood to pee on the paper and not on the floor. Billy tried to take him out for walks, but little Billy refused to go outside.

"I don't like leaving the room much either, pup. But you can't be afraid of what's out there, okay? How about I carry you?" Billy offered, putting his arms out for the puppy.

Little Billy jumped into his arms and Billy zipped him up into his jacket. "Let's go."

Billy took little Billy outside and showed him the neighborhood. "That's a tree. You can piss on as many of those as you want. If you pee on it, it's yours. Sounds good, right? And that's a car. I have one of those. I'll let you ride in mine when you stop pissing everywhere, deal? And that's...that's Steve."

"Don't you 2 look cozy?" Steve smiled as he approached.

"Yeah, he was too scared to walk around on his own. He's pretty jumpy. I think he was abused in his old home."

"Probably, yeah."

"I yelled at him this morning and he got scared. Made me feel like shit. I remember getting yelled at like that when I was little. I'm trying to be nicer so I don't scare him."

"That's really sweet of you, babe. You're such a good guy."

"I don't wanna be like him—Y'know...my dad. I wanna be different."

"You are. I don't think Neil would have a puppy tucked into his jacket like a proud father swaddling a baby, would he?"

Billy laughed. "Probably not."

"You two are a perfect match."

"Why's that? Because I was an abused rescue too?"

"Well—No. You're a hero. Little Billy needed a hero too."

Billy smiled. "Let's go back home. I'll get us all some lunch."

#abuse mention #adopted billy #billy hargrove #harringrove #ivy.doc #merry crisis

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enchanted-day-dreams · 1 month

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I find it ironic that people love to talk about Billy Hargrove having internalized homophobia despite the fact that homophobic Billy is only a fanon trait, meanwhile Steve Harrington used queer as an insult against Jonathan Byers and yet folks wanna act like he's the most ally to ever ally (or even pretend he was never homophobic to begin with) just because he wasn't still a dick to Robin when she came out to him.

Y'all can have whatever headcanons you want, but the canon truth is that between Billy and Steve, only one of them got a homophobic insult slung at them but never slung it back, and it wasn't Steve.

#fandom wank #billy hargrove #steve harrington #homophobia mention #reminds me of the time that i read a review of 'rebel robin' by a billy anti that wanted him to be homophobic to robin #despite him not even being *in* hawkins yet #like first of all why do you *want* a character you like to experience bigotry?#it's one thing to prepare yourself for it but to be *disappointed* it didn't happen is kinda fucked up imo #some folks just want more reasons to feel justified in hating a character instead of just being like 'i don't vibe with them'

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cavinginhisfvce · 1 year

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Billy, having a nerf gun war with the kids, when he's backed into a corner by Max and El, both holding their guns up at him with sinister smirks.

"Any last words, blondie?"

With his hands held up in surrender, Billy sighs, "tell Steve I love him. And he better not remarry!"

Before the words are even fully out, the two girls are pelting him with nerf bullets, cackling at his dramatic display of falling over the couch, a hand clutching his chest.

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shieldofiron · 11 days

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Steve who’s convinced that Billy is straight. I mean convinced. He was the only lunatic in the world who would start liking a girl more after she waved a gun in his face… And it turned out that after Billy apologized to Lucas, Steve was next on the list. And he was having some kinds of feelings about it.

Goes through all seven levels of hell because he’s had guy crushes before sure, but it’s never been like this. Not when Billy’s apologizing in the parking lot, spitting fire with a black eye that Steve doesn’t remember putting there. Not when Steve finally stutters out the explanation he came up with Hopper when they all got back, and Billy had cracked, patting a hand on Steve’s shoulder. That shoulder felt warm for the rest of the day.

And then he saw Billy leaning over Aimee Parkinson and his whole body turned to ice for a second. It was probably just a break up thing. Like his feelings were just acting up. After all Steve still likes girls. Still got interested… but then sometimes he would think about that warm shoulder, about hands that never had scrapes on them. Billy just had really nice hands, ok?

He was able to ride that explanation for another few months, hands shaking when they made contact in gym or when he handed him a beer those infrequent nights when he’d go on a drive and find Billy’s car out by the quarry. Just getting over Nancy still, the feelings spilling over. And sometimes guys get man crushes when they want to be friends. Right?

It’s only that day at Starcourt when he sees Billy drive his car into Mrs Wheeler’s station wagon to try to stop her from hitting Nancy that it hits him. This shit isn’t going away. Not that there’s much time to think of it. Between the fireworks and Steve’s throbbing head there was Billy. Billy hustling El away when Mrs Wheeler dragged her to the monster and promptly melted into it, absorbed. Billy, who was the first person to hug Mike Wheeler after, telling him it was going to be ok, that his mom loved him, Billy knew she did.

Between late nights at the hospital, and waking up to one of those nice hands laid over his. They were friends. And it was a level of hell as of yet unimagined.

Friends, as it turned out, got jobs together. Fucking Keith loved Billy. Thought he was a laugh riot because Billy could quote some stupid British movie from memory. Because Billy was a nerd, underneath all the swagger and the unbuttoned shirts. And even that made Steve’s knees weak.

Eventually Robin clues him in. Gives him a word. Turns out liking guys and girls and basically whoever he likes is not the singular suffering of one Steven Alessandro Harrington. And it’s nice to have the word for it, even if he can’t do jack about it.

And then one night they’re shooting the shit after a late shift. Billy’s got his shirt off and his family video vest on, because he’s a demon from the fifth dimension. And Steve’s got extra cologne on because they’re hanging out. And they’re talking about how El wants her powers back and… Billy starts crying.

He starts babbling about Mrs Wheeler, how it’s Billy’s fault, all of it. Because she was driving out on that road to meet him.

Steve turns to ice again. Because he knew Billy was straight but… this…

But Billy keeps crying. Talking about his dad, how his dad always wants him to be a man. That he had to lie he had a date tonight just to be here. And how Billy thought if a rumor started with the moms in town it would finally get back to his dad, and his dad would believe it and lay off him. Believe that Billy is straight.

Steve lays a hand on Billy’s shoulder. And it burns, burns like hell. What did Billy always say. Looks like there’s some fire in him after all?

“What if you weren’t lying to your dad?”

Sniffles. Wiping tears away from blue eyes with his own hands.

“Whad’ya mean, Harrington.”

“This could be a date.”

Billy doesn’t move away. Those hands curl into Steve’s vest collar as their lips meet. Billy makes a noise, a sweet heavenly noise.

“You can call me Stephanie,” Steve whispers when they finally pull apart for a second. “If that makes you feel better.”

Billy snorts. “I could never want a girl like this. Sorry, I’ve only had my eye on one guy in town. Maybe you’ve heard of King Steve?”

Steve runs his hands up Billy’s shoulders, tangles in his hair, slotting their knees together. Billy can be very convincing.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #billy x steve #shieldofiron #my writing #heaven and hell #tw Karen wheeler mention

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static-fucking-mess · 3 months

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Eddie couldn't help himself. He stared at Billy Hargrove sometimes; the gorgeous curls and wild grin lit something inside of him the first time Eddie had ever laid eyes on him.

Billy's plush lips sucking in the smoke from his Marlboro reds, broad shoulders, tight jeans. Eddie couldn't help himself from focusing on the way Billy's tongue flashed out to wet his lips as the smoke billowed off into the sky from his nose.

Billy washed into Hawkins and Eddie's life like a hurricane from California. His loud car, crashing music, and Eddie knew just from catching sight of him once that he wanted to know everything about him. He imagined if he got close enough he'd still be able to smell the ocean air on his sun kissed skin. He wanted to know his favorite bands, his thoughts on media, God he'd even sit through talking about cars if it meant Billy would look his way. (It wasn't like he wasn't interested, just that his own knowledge was limited to keeping his dinosaur of a van alive, and he didn't want to sound like an idiot. Not in front of Billy.)

Everything about Billy attracted Eddie to him. Eddie Munson had never considered himself shy. Fuck, he was a bit awkward about social boundaries, but he'd never felt shy before. Then, there were rarely ever new people that came to Hawkins to stay. And Billy made it clear that he had no intention of staying. Hawkins was small, and desperately choking on its shallow gene pool, in Eddie's opinion. Fresh faces were hard to find, especially ones that were willing to look his way, after all.

Billy hadn't been willing. To look his way, that was. He took to the social hierarchy like a wrecking ball, and sent it all asunder. King Steve seemed no more, Tommy and Carol seemed to fight more amongst themselves these days instead of making biting remarks at others. But Billy? He still wouldn't spare a breath on Eddie the Freak Munson.

Eddie had tried once.

He'd been utterly tongue tied in approaching Billy, picking at his sleeve. The two stood awkwardly behind the school dumpsters as they had their smoke break. Eddie's hand shook as he rolled his wrist, searching for the right words that refused to come.

"I really— I mean... fuck— sorry. Hold on. Uh—"

Billy's cool gaze slid up from where his zippo burned the cherry of his cigarette. He flicked his wrist to close his lighter before he tucked it away, utterly unimpressed. Eddie would probably be unimpressed with himself too. But damn; Billy Hargrove was a God carved of marble and gold, blessed by California sun. Eddie was a home grown weed from an Indiana backyard. His brown hair frizzy, unkempt, and his skin a touch oily from his aversion to water. It wasn't like he skipped showers because he wanted to. But in that moment Eddie felt painfully aware that Billy Hargrove was miles out of his league.

"Beat it," Billy grumbled at him. "I'm not in the business of making friends with people like you," he hissed. Those beautiful blues steeling into something dangerous that made Eddie's insides go cold. He swallowed back his words and the shaking in his hand seemed to intensify.

"No um... no that's. Fair. People like me?" Eddie inquired, head tipping a bit. He wanted to know just what part of his stigma had reached Billy first. He'd seen the saints necklace dangling in the open neck of his shirt. "The Satan worshipper? The freak?"

"Queers," Billy snapped. He looked at Eddie like a hostile and wild animal. Like his smiles were more reflective of the animal kingdom than the humanity he bore to charm others. Eddie swallowed dry air and dropped his gaze? Putting his cigarette out under his shoe.

"Right," Eddie affirmed. Billy had seen the way the guy looked at him. It was impossible to miss those dark, chocolate doe eyes when they lingered on him. It tickled the inside of Billy's ribs something real funny when he noticed Eddie in class. Distracted, but gazing his way like he was looking at art in a museum.

Billy was used to people lusting after him. He was hot, and god he knew it. He utilized it more often than he probably should have, but his good genetics in the physical appearance department had gotten him into, and out of a lot of trouble.

But Eddie wasn't lusting.

Eddie looked like he was trying to figure him out. Wondering at him. And that was dangerous. Because Billy had caught himself wondering too. What calloused hands would feel like holding down his wrists, or what those pouty lips would feel like stealing the breath off his. Thoughts like that were what had led to them having to leave California. Thoughts that turned to action, action that had made Neil so angry that he gave Billy two options:

Leave California, and the boy behind...

Or go to Summer Camp.

The two seemed like impossible evils to wrestle with. And in the end, with defeat, Billy had chosen to leave his home behind. It had hurt more that the boy had moved on before Billy could even explain himself. He swore, man or woman, he wouldn't date. Dating just brought trouble. Laying roots was dangerous. Ripping them free just hurt more.

So, he broke Eddie's heart before it had the chance to bloom. So he thought.

Nearing the beginning of November, Billy struggled one morning to light his cigarette. Shivering from the cold, and possibly the pain in his ribs. The pain that curled up through him and reminded him that defiance tasted like iron and copper on every breath in.

"Here—" the voice was steeped in sweet honey. Eddie lit his cigarette for him, and Billy flicked his eyes up to meet with Eddie's.

Eddie cupped his hands around Billy's while the cigarette dangled from his lips. Eddie rubbed his rough hands over Billy's to warm them, breathing softly over them to fight away the frost and chill in the air. Billy stood stiff and still like the early frost had taken root in him.

Eddie gazed up at Billy and offered him a smile, almost sheepish as he stepped away. He mourned the loss of that warmth as soon as it was gone, the fleeting action stirring something inside that Billy didn't want to fan the flames of.

"Shit, sorry," Eddie snorted. "I'm kind of a touchy guy, and uh. Social boundaries? Not my strong suit."

Billy chuffed, shaking his head before he took his cigarette loosely between two fingers and spat onto the pavement.

"Don't fucking touch me, freak," he hissed to Eddie. His frustration sizzling as his voice lacked the ire he wanted it to have. He wanted Eddie to flinch and run. But he didn't. Instead he just... shrugged his shoulders, unbothered, and turned away to smoke his own cigarette.

The next time Billy had contact with Eddie, it happened so quickly that Eddie wasn't even sure what had happened. It was just something small. Something... simple. But as they passed in the hall, Tommy had shoulder checked Eddie hard enough to knock him on his ass, laughing like he was looking for Billy's approval. That was not what happened.

The loud crash against the lockers had startled Eddie back to himself from the position he was in on the floor.

Billy had Tommy pinned to the lockers, speaking to him in a low and deeply venomous tone.

"Hands off, Hagan. The only person who gets to mess with the freak is me," he snarled.

Eddie wondered what that meant, but it felt like stepping closer to a warm fire in a way. He knew Damm well it might be dangerous to get too close. But Eddie didn't mind the way Billy burned. He wanted to be caught in the rush of Billy's storm.

Eddie had held that warm feeling in his chest for a while. It felt like a glow, and it was something that made him look Billy's way, even when he was shoved against lockers, shoulder checked in the hall, or had his books knocked out of his hands. Eddie always caught it.

The smile that wasn't mocking, even when Billy would insult him. It was like he couldn't put the same vitriol in it that he used to.

"Freak" felt more like a term of endearment. "Loser" felt like an invitation to squabble. And God did Eddie take every chance to bicker with Billy Hargrove.

Mid December, their words had turned into a tussle.

"You wouldn't dare—" Eddie had invited, grinning at Billy who had every intention of dumping Eddie into a snowbank.

"I think you need to cool it," Billy had snarked back, looking less than threatening with his red beanie on his head, puff ball and all. It had been Eddie's. The beanie. But Eddie hadn't said a word about the gloves, scarf, and hat he'd left in Billy's locker after he had noticed that the boy from California didn't have clothes suited for Indiana winter.

"Don't do it, Billy," Eddie laughed.

"Do what? I don't have any idea what you're talking about," Billy said back, casual as he took a step closer.

It happened, in a crash of flailing limbs and shrieking laughter. Billy saw Eddie for the first time. He saw the bright smile that was punctuated by dimples on either side. He saw the way Eddie's fuzzy hair fanned out in the snow as he was dumped into the snow bank, and god he couldn't help but notice the way flakes stuck in his eyelashes. His cheeks and ears red from the cold; Eddie wasn't wearing gloves, a hat, or a scarf. He'd given up his warm clothes to keep Billy warm.

And that sure made something inside Billy warmer than the sun in California ever could.

It was mid January when a knock resonated number 12 at the forest hills trailer park. It brought Eddie out of dozing. The alarm clock read an ugly 2am back at him that made him groan.

He pulled himself up and out of bed as the knock grew more irritated and insistent, swiping his hands down over his tired face.

"Jesus christ, I'm coming! Fucking relax!" He bellowed. Eddie shoved his feet into his slippers and shuffled to the front door, ripping it open.

"My hours end at 11 pm on week... nights..." the irritation in Eddie's voice gave way to a shocked whisper as he was met with a ghastly sight before him.

Billy Hargrove standing on his porch, braced against the side of the trailer to stop any swaying. It looked like he had bruises littering half of his face, and Eddie imagined it was worse, with the way the bruises on his neck seemed to bloom down under his jacket.

"Hey," Eddie whispered, unsure if he could say more. When he reached to push a curl out of Billy's face, the man flinched like Eddie was about to put a knife to his throat.

Instead, Eddie put his hand on Billy's shoulder and guided him to come inside.

That was the night that Eddie learned about Neil Hargrove. It was the same night that Eddie slept, curled around Billy. Like he could protect him.

Billy slept with his nose pressed against Eddie's collarbone, sinking into the scents of cinnamon and cigarette smoke. Eddie was warm, and even though he was more elbows and knees than plush and soft... Billy felt like he fit perfectly with his head tucked under Eddie's chin. Eddie gave good hugs. Great hugs even. Enough of them that Billy felt drunk on the scent of cinnamon and the comfort of his best friend's arms.

They continued as best friends for a long time. Until the Tragedy of Starcourt. Nobody called Eddie. Nobody had thought to at first, really. With the chaos and the news of Russians under the mall— not to mention how the last week or two, Billy had been avoiding Eddie like he was a Germ.

"Get the fuck away from me—"

"Stay away from me Munson."

"Get the fuck out of my face."

"I won't warn you again, if you come near me, I'll break your fucking neck."

Eddie had been sulking about it. Well. More than sulking if he was honest. Had he cried on Wayne's shoulder? Absolutely. Did he get a speeding ticket on his way to the hospital once Max had called him? Absolutely.

Eddie stood in the doorway of Billy's hospital room, looking in on his best friend like the universe had put a knife through his heart. Billy looked barely alive. Fragile.

Eddie was one of the very few visitors that Billy got. Neil Hargrove hadn't shown his face once. Max had told him in a hushed voice that he had packed his things to leave town. Billy was a hero for saving so many people in the mall fire, and Neil still hated him. Didn't want a disabled son.

Billy woke up alone. He wasn't surprised to wake up alone, in a hospital room without a single card on his bedside. Sure, he wasn't surprised... but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. It hurt like being cracked open from the inside out. A glaring statement that told Billy Hargrove:

'You don't matter.'

Even alone, Billy stifled his sobs so he wouldn't be noticed.

"Easy tough guy," the gentle voice came from the doorway, making Billy's heart jump up into his throat. Eddie came in with the nurses, who checked his vitals and pain levels. But Billy barely noticed them. He was focused on the boy whose smile cleansed the tar clinging to his heart.

"Thought I told you to piss off," Billy snorted through his tears, managing a shaky smile.

"I've never been good at listening," Eddie replied, rubbing his hand through Billy's bed messy curls. "Can't shake me that easy, sweetheart. I thought you'd have learned that by now. That grouchy bullshit isn't gonna shake me," he assured. Eddie was determined enough to stick out the hurricane.

"You're annoying," Billy spat at him, pushing his hand away.

"And I'm determined to continue to be," Eddie replied as he snatched Billy's wrist. He slid his hand up to lace their fingers and squeeze.

"Give it time," Billy said, seemingly unimpressed. He refused to look at Eddie, only because the idiot was gazing at him like he was someone precious.

"I've got time," Eddie replied, unshaken.

"Jesus, Munson, why don't you just— just leave me the hell alone?! Why are you always," Billy's breath hitched as his voice broke. Eddie was always there. Like a balm to his wounds. He didn't flinch when Neil beat him. He opened the door or answered the call no matter how late. Eddie Munson was a rock in the hurricane, ready to weather his storm.

Billy thought back to the memories El had shown him in that pit of darkness. His mother, the beach, the waves... and the snowy December day that Billy had fallen in love with Eddie Munson.

Billy didn't resist when Eddie placed his hand on his neck, thumbing his jaw like he was brittle. Fragile. And Billy supposed he was.

"God damn," Eddie whispered, smiling at Billy with tender eyes.

"What? Quit fucking looking at me like that. Like— like... pity. Jesus or like I'm gonna break. I don't need your bullshit sympathies, or your God damn coddling, Munson."

Billy felt like a wild animal, backed into the corner of a cage. Snapping and growling at the tender hands that wanted to hold him. Especially if that monster still lurked inside him somewhere. Ready to hurt.

That fear washed away when Eddie kissed Billy's knuckles, something soft. Endearing. Billy could only hitch a sob as his forehead thudded in to rest on Eddie's collarbone. He squeezed Eddie's hand, and to his relief... Eddie squeezed back. It felt a whole lot like someone saying:

'You matter. I love you.'

And for once, Billy wasn't afraid of it being a lie.

#mungrove #billy hargrove #eddie munson #mentions of abuse #abuse tw #neil hargrove is his own trigger warning #hurt/comfort #Billy Lives

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thediktatortot · 2 months

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I get a lot of my POV of how I feel Billy would react/grow/make mistakes from how I've seen my dad in my life. My dad was the 3rd youngest of 9 back in the 60s as a little boy, and he experienced a lot of things in life that I'm surprised he's even told my mom and I of as much as he has.

When people say that abuse and recovering from abuse is complicated and messy and not always sunshine and roses and happy tears? They mean that. Life isn't easy to deal with in our world on a good day, so can you imagine the struggle of learning how to be what our world requires of a functioning human, when you've never been treated like a human yourself by those who are supposed to nurture and care for you?

Do you guy's realize how far that can set someone back in life? How much it can effect their every waking day?

My father and I have our moments where we can't see eye to eye because of some normal barrier of difference, that's just life, but I can dissolve 90% of my father's opinions down to the fears that he has because of the life he experienced.

Abused people can often stay...heightened? at all times. There is not a day my father does not work because he believes the moment he stops working is the moment he has failed his family and will send us into further poverty. He might be correct, he also might be wrong and is unable to see that he doesn't have to further degrade his already broken body into dust just because he takes a few days to do nothing or to focus on himself.

Billy himself his close in age to my father, only about 9 years younger than my dad and I can say with certainty that the way society and people in general treated children, let alone low class abused children, was horrific and predatory.

I'm not really sure what I want to say with this, but when I see people saying that people like Billy shouldn't be helped or they should die or be shunned- all I can see is the same shit that people have been giving my own father his whole life.

The looks, the judgement, the distaste- like they are looking at some kind of dirty animal only fit to be put to work or put down.

You people do realize how evil you sound right?

#Personalish #Billy Hargrove #Abuse Mention

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withacapitalp · 7 months

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How to Rehabilitate a Jock Pt 18

Part One Link to ao3 Part 17. Part Nineteen

Thank you to @stevethehairington for being supportive af and the worlds best beta and @thefreakandthehair for encouraging everything I do y'all rock!!!

Step Eighteen: Get Some Supplies

Eddie had spent quite a lot of time watching Steve in the last few weeks. Observing the way Steve spoke, the way his smile curled slowly on his lips when he thought no one was watching, the way he noticed almost everything, but was somehow still so oblivious. Eddie saw it all.

But by far the most interesting thing about Steve was the way he could switch at the drop of a hat.

It was the most interesting, but also the most frightening. It was like the headlights on the van all over again- one second Steve had been joking around with him, saying things that made Eddie’s heart race and his chest sink heavy with guilt; and the next his entire face went blank, a hard protective look in his eyes and a painful tension setting his spine perfectly straight.

All because of the sound of a car.

Eddie had no way of knowing what happened to Steve to make him like this, but curiosity was eating at him again, completely pushing aside the fact that he had almost spilled the entire bet to Steve in a fit of regretful shame.

Well, not completely pushing it aside. Eddie’s heart was still racing like a jackrabbit, but that was besides the point.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie murmured.

“Nothing,” Steve replied immediately, his voice so dead it killed something in Eddie too. Steve carefully pulled away from Eddie, leaving cold handprints where his warm palms had just been against Eddie’s skin. “Stay here.”

Not a chance. Eddie knew whose car that was, and he knew that if Hargrove was here, then nothing good was about to come of it. He waited maybe two seconds before following Steve out of the kitchen, tracing his steps to the front door that was slightly ajar, slipping out the door and onto the porch-

And walking directly into Jim Hopper’s back.

Hopper startled like he had been shot, and Eddie reared back on instinct, nearly hitting the door in his effort to put space between himself and the police chief. When Hopper saw who bumped into him, he practically growled, his eyebrows furrowing into one long fuzzy stripe as he gave Eddie a completely unwarranted death glare.

Rude. And uncalled for.

It wasn’t like they were friends, but Eddie and the chief usually had a pretty good rapport. Kind of like Tom and Jerry, if Tom was the chief of police in a podunk Indiana town, and Jerry was a trailer kid who dealt drugs on the side for grocery money. Usually Hopper regarded him with put upon fondness, not straight hostility, and the shift was… disconcerting to say the least.

Luckily for Eddie, Hopper seemed to have a bigger target for his rage tonight. A target with a blue camaro and even worse anger issues.

Steve had only been outside for maybe thirty seconds, but that thirty seconds was long enough for him to get in trouble. Hargrove had gotten out of his stupid car, leaving the engine idling as he swaggered up to Steve, a condescending smirk in his face as his eyes flashed dangerously. Max had also scrambled out of the car, and was on her way around the hood and over to Steve’s side.

This wasn’t going to be good.

But, before anything could go wrong, Eddie was reminded they weren’t alone.

“Is there a problem here, Hargrove?!” Hopper barked just as Billy reached towards Steve, putting every ounce of authority he had into his growling tone, making even Eddie shudder. Eddie had only gotten that tone out of Hopper once or twice during his many run-ins with the law, but each time it scared the bejeezus out of him.

“No sir,” Hargrove spat out, instantly taking a step away from Steve. It seemed that even his impervious armor of assholery could be penetrated by Hopper’s power.

Hop started down the steps of the porch, and Eddie burst into action, scurrying after him and attempting to look at least a little bit intimidating as he came to Steve’s aid.

Mission probably not accomplished, but Eddie hoped Steve at least appreciated the gesture. Hargrove was fucking scary, and if he could beat Steve’s face in, Eddie was pretty sure that Billy might actually kill him if Eddie decided to take a swing.

“Max, go inside,” Steve said softly as they came over, a gentle hand pushing against her arm and urging her towards the safety of the house. She pushed back, giving Steve a silent glower. Little Red was stubborn, almost as stubborn as Steve, and it was obvious she didn’t want to go anywhere without knowing nothing bad would happen to her babysitter.

It was admirable, but it was also really, really, stupid. If anything happened, Steve would one hundred percent focus on protecting her first, which might get him hurt. Eddie wasn’t great in a fight, but he knew how to find people’s weak spots, and anyone with eyes knew that Steve’s weak spots were the people he loved.

“Please,” Steve whispered, taking his eyes off of Billy to give her a silent look.

Another switch. The guard dog was gone, a sweet chocolate lab in its place. Soft and careful not to hurt as he nudged his pup away from the mountain lion that wanted to devour her whole.

Max sighed shortly, stopping to press a quick hug to Steve’s side and an even quicker flick of her middle finger towards Billy before she ran over to the porch. She sat herself down on the bottom step, her fiery red hair standing out in the dark as she leaned forward with her hands on her knees, watching them all like a hawk waiting to take flight.

It was a compromise, and enough to keep her out of the fight that still seemed to be coming.

“I’ll be back to get her at 8 sharp tomorrow, Harrington. She better be out here waiting,” Hargrove stated, bristling with barely concealed fury as Hopper and Eddie both flanked Steve.

“I’ll drop Max off sometime in the afternoon, Billy,” Steve replied coolly, leaning casually backward as he crossed his arms. He was a picture of calm, a complete deviation from the rest of them. “If she’s gonna be later than 3, I’ll give you a call. Mkay?”

Steve finished his sentence with a bitchy little smile, and Eddie bit his tongue, hating the way that his pants were starting to feel tight. It should not have been so much of a turn on to see Steve act like an ass, but when he was using his powers for good, there was something incredibly alluring about watching the former King tear someone down without so much as a swing of his fist.

Hargrove’s nostrils were flared, and he looked like he swallowed an entire bag of lemons. He opened his mouth, probably to say something stupid, but Hopper wasn’t having any of it.

“Anything else?” The man asked rhetorically. Before Billy could even shake his head, Hopper continued, putting his hands on his hips, “Good. Then scram before I bring you in on trespassing charges.”

Hargrove deflated like a balloon, and Eddie barely resisted the urge to scoff. Of course Billy was the same as any other bully. It always went that way- they were all cocky and confident when they were with someone they thought they could beat, but if someone with actual power over them showed up, they instantly showed their belly.

Eddie had no doubt that if Steve was out here alone, words would fly at the very least, and Steve might’ve even ended up with some new bruises. But the prospect of spending Christmas Eve in a cell seemed to be enough to get Billy Hargrove to fuck right off and leave them alone.

Good riddance.

“I could’ve handled that,” Steve complained the second Billy’s car disappeared around the corner. The annoyed face he was making at Hopper was ridiculously cute, and honestly, unfair. Eddie probably could have handled just the scrunched up nose, or the adorable little pout, but together they were a deadly combination that left him wanting to clutch his chest and beg for mercy.

God, he was down bad for this boy.

“Mhm,” Hopper hummed, raising a brow.

“I could have!” Steve insisted. He turned to Eddie expectantly, waiting to hear his DM back him up.

“You definitely could have,” Eddie reassured, despite not being entirely sure that Steve actually would have gotten out of that on his own, “but as much fun as bringing you to the hospital tonight sounds…”

The unsaid words spoke louder than Eddie had intended, and he even managed to get Hopper to bark out a short unexpected laugh. Eddie broke into a grin and shot Hop a smirk, the smile fading as Hopper seemed to realize exactly who had made him laugh and quickly went back to his angry scowling.

What was his problem?

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Babydoll,” Steve said with a roll of his eyes, dragging Eddie’s attention back over to him. Behind them Hopper seemed to choke on air, but Steve didn’t seem to notice, too focused on his next mission.

“I thought you couldn’t come tonight?” Steve asked Max as he walked towards where she was sitting.

“Mom and Neil decided to go to a resort for the holiday, so it was just me and Billy alone for Christmas.” Max sighed as she stood, casually stretching her arms high above her head. “I’d rather step in front of a bus then deal with that so I gave him five bucks to drive me here.”

Her movements and her tone were nonchalant, uncaring and almost lazy, but Eddie wasn’t fooled. Max was chewing on the inside of her lip, and she was avoiding eye contact like the plague. Most people might’ve missed it, but Eddie was good at looking.

And Steve was too.

“Sorry about your mom,” Steve murmured as he pulled her in for a hug. Max let him hold her for all of four seconds before pulling away roughly, tossing one braid over her shoulder and sticking her nose in the air.

“I don’t care,” Max declared, despite all of them knowing how very much she cared.

“Well El is going to be thrilled. She’s been stuck with just the boys all night,” Steve offered, giving Max an out from the big feelings talk.

“I’m sure she was fine,” Max muttered, kicking at the ground, “not like anyone was missing me.”

Eddie had spent the better part of his life being unwanted. From his parents, to his teachers, to basically the whole world. Not only was Eddie the local freak, he was also a barely closeted gay man in a small Indiana town. He had gotten good at being okay with being left behind or abandoned.

But seeing that part of himself in the little girl in front of him hurt in a way he didn’t even think to expect.

Luckily, Steve seemed to have this handled.

“Lucas was missing you,” Steve said teasingly, crushing her against his side as he dragged them both up the stairs. “I was too. Now that you’re here I can finally start karaoke. I’m thinking of starting with "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.”

“Fuck off Steve, that song sucks and you know it,” Max complained, trying to wiggle out of his grip. Steve held her tighter, turning back to give Eddie a ‘watch this’ look before taking a comically long breath in.

“I WANT A HIPPOPOTAMUS FOR CHRISTMAS,” Steve crowed at the top of his lungs, startling the silent frigid air of the night with the force of his voice, “ONLY A HIPPOPOTAMUS WILL DO!”

“Oh my god, you suck!” Max shouted, finally escaping his grasp and clapping her hands over her ears. Her tone was angry, but Eddie could see the huge beaming grin that was overtaking her face. Once again the unstoppable force of Steve Harrington had managed to smooth things over.

“I can see me now on Christmas morning creeping down the stair!” Steve continued without a care, giggling like a kid as he did. “Oh, what joy and what surprise! When I open up my eyes! To see a hippo hero standing there!”

Now Max was laughing too, holding her stomach as she tripped towards the front door to try and run from Steve’s singing. He held up his hands in mock trumpet form, vocalizing the instrumental parts of the song as he followed her in, leaving the front door wide open.

And leaving Hopper and Eddie all alone outside.

The silence materialized out of nowhere, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife. As much as Eddie wanted to just run into the house after Steve and never even look at Hopper again, he held back. Yes, this was awkward, but Eddie could deal with awkward. He was good at awkward. He regularly stood on lunch tables for fun. He could do this. He would have them back to their normal bantering rivalry before midnight.

“Hiya chief! So how’s-”

“Are you selling Steve drugs?” Hopper demanded, cutting him mid-sentence and rounding on Eddie with fury in his eyes.

Eddie, unable to help himself, did the absolute worst thing he could have in response.

He laughed.

He couldn't help it. The question was just that ridiculous. He had sold to Steve in the past, even jacked up his price with the ‘rich douchebag’ tax, but it was only ever weed. A joint here and there barely counted as drugs in Eddie’s book. Steve wasn’t even one of his regulars. And since joining Hellfire, Steve hadn’t even mentioned Eddie’s side hustle.

“Chief, even if I was, would you really expect me to tell you?” Eddie snickered, still in shock that he was being asked this by Jim Hopper of all people. Was he worried that Steve was going to give Jane drugs? It couldn’t be that, there was no way anyone would ever think Steve would do that.

So Hopper was just… weirdly overprotective over Steve. He almost sounded like a dad.

“Cut the crap, Munson,” Hopper growled, taking a menacing step forward. “I’m serious. I don’t know what game you’re playing here-”

“Dungeons and Dragons,” Eddie supplied, still chuckling at how insane this conversation was.

“-but!” Hopper continued, putting emphasis on the word and on ignoring Eddie, “nothing better happen to him, or so help me god-”

“Hop!”

Hopper was cut short by the sound of Joyce Byers. She and Steve were standing in the open doorway, twin disappointed looks on both of their faces as they took in the scene in front of them. Steve hung his head low, softly muttering to himself as he plodded down the steps and grabbed Eddie’s wrist, tugging him back towards the house.

“Handle this?” Steve begged as they passed her.

Joyce, who was in the process of lighting a cigarette, gave him one short nod, eyes already locked on her target. Eddie didn’t really know Mrs. Byers all that well, but he had dealt with enough irate mothers to know when to stay out of a woman’s way.

“You promised you wouldn’t act so crazy-” Eddie heard her hiss to Hopper from behind their backs.

“I am concerned! Am I not allowed to be concerned?!” Hopper exploded, and Steve slammed the door before they could hear anymore, pressing his back against it and groaning as he hid his face in his hands.

“Why does everyone think I’m doing drugs?” Steve muttered. It was definitely a rhetorical question, but Eddie couldn’t help being a bit of a jackass.

“I mean it’s not like I’ve never sold to you before, Sweetheart,” He pointed out, sticking both hands deep in his pockets and letting the smirk on his face grow three times as big as Steve groaned even louder. Eddie wasn’t exactly happy to be threatened by the chief of police, but it was nice to know that there was someone who was looking out for Steve.

Hop was no Wayne, but every person needed a grumpy old man to watch over them in Eddie’s humble opinion, and if Hop was Steve’s, then Eddie could handle a few words thrown his way.

Steve slowly slid down the door as he grumbled and mumbled, ending up cross legged on the floor, staring up at Eddie with the most pitiful pout known to man.

If it was anyone else, Eddie would have kept the joke going, teased them to oblivion until they were both laughing until their stomachs hurt. But Eddie was a weak, weak man, and Steve’s eyes had somehow grown inhumanely wide and sad, and there was only so much he could take.

“Come on, let’s go check on our completely clean, absolutely drug-free cookies,” Eddie offered, sticking a hand out to Steve to help him up, “just to prove to Hopper that I’m not your hookup.”

Steve heaved the world’s biggest sigh in response, but took Eddie’s hand anyway. As he stood, rather than letting go, he intertwined their fingers, pulling Eddie into the kitchen and squeezing their palms together once before he went for his oven mitts.

“By the way, I didn’t get to thank you,” Steve said randomly as he slowly lifted the tray filled with cookies out of the oven.

“Thank me for what?” Eddie asked, reaching a hand towards the fresh treats, his mouth watering at the delicious aroma filling the air.

“Hey! Too hot, you’ll burn yourself,” Steve said, jostling the tray to one side as he smacked Eddie’s fingers away before they could get singed. He placed the tray down far from Eddie and began to transfer the cookies onto a cooling rack.

“I meant thank you for having my back out there… you didn’t have to do that,” Steve explained, his voice getting uncharacteristically shy as he continued to stare down at the cookies and avoid looking at Eddie in any way. His shoulders were curled inwards, and his bottom lip was caught firmly between his teeth.

Eddie could have lightened things back up, made a joke about Steve’s innate ability to get into trouble, or pulled some bullshit insult about Billy’s intelligence to make them both smile and shake their heads, but he didn’t. There was something about the hesitancy sitting in Steve’s body, the way he was almost holding his breath, waiting to see why Eddie had gone after him when Steve had told him to stay behind.

Like he couldn’t understand why someone would want to protect him instead of the other way around.

“I didn’t want you getting hurt by him again,” Eddie stated, feeling his cheeks get stupidly warm as he did. It wasn’t like some big declaration of feelings or love, but the way the words laid his soul bare felt just a shade too close for comfort.

“I would’ve been fine,” Steve protested, wrapping two cookies in a paper towel and handing them over to Eddie to test taste, shooting him a wry little grin as he did. “Billy won’t touch me now anyway. Not after last time. Max made sure of that.”

“There shouldn’t have been a first time, and there won’t be a second,” Eddie said firmly, ignoring whatever weird joke Steve was making about Billy’s thirteen year old little sister being able to stop her eighteen year old brother. “Hargrove might be able to kill me with a single punch, but I’ll die fighting for your honor, Stevie.”

“Well, I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t need anyone else dying on my watch,” Steve said softly, his smile disappearing as his eyes faded somewhere distant and sad.

In an instant they were back in no man’s land, unmoored and untethered to the reality around them. Steve wasn’t at a party with him anymore, just lost in some far away place that Eddie couldn’t reach. Somewhere painful, and empty looking, and all Eddie wanted to do was pull him back and protect him from whatever was trying to steal his happiness. He wanted Steve to let him in, unhook the heavy cape that was set on his shoulders and unburden himself from whatever guilt was holding him hostage.

Whatever it was, Eddie would help. He could make this easier, at least a little bit. All Steve had to do was tell him. All Eddie had to do was ask what was wrong.

The time for being cautious was past them, and the time for being afraid Steve might run was over too. They had to be close enough for Eddie to at least know something about whatever was torturing Steve so badly.

And Eddie had to care enough about Steve to put him over his stupid little crush.

So despite the fact that his heart was threatening to leap out of his chest, and the dread was making his fingers ache, Eddie took a deep breath in and forced himself to speak.

“Hey Sweetheart?”

But unfortunately, the universe had other plans.

“Steve!”

“What!” Steve yelled back to Mike, breaking away from Eddie and turning just in time to see all of the kids pile into the doorway like a pack of rabid animals.

“Now that Max is here, can we do White Elephant?” Lucas pressed, impatiently drumming his fingers on the wall.

“Please?” Will added, quickly shooting a look over to his friend before turning back to Steve with barely hidden glee.

“Fine,” Steve sighed, dragging out the word as the kids cheered and ran out of the room.

The wild tornado of children had passed as quickly as they came, but whatever moment the two of them had been having had long since passed. Sharing Steve was gone, and Babysitter Steve had come back in full force. There was nothing wrong with him, nothing that would take precedence over his kids at least.

It was admirable, but Eddie kind of hated it. Actually, more than hate. Eddie despised the fact that Steve was no longer with him, lost in taking care of the rest of the world once more. It was a good trait, something to respect, but it meant that Eddie had lost his chance to dig past Steve’s walls a bit more, and maybe finally get some answers.

“Oh wait, Eddie what were you going to ask me?” Steve said, halting in his pursuit of the kids and turning to face Eddie.

It was sweet that he cared, but it was pointless. This wasn’t the time anymore.

But…

The supplies he had in the lunchbox in his van might just be the perfect way to get Steve to open up a bit.

“I was going to ask if you maybe wanted to make some not clean kinda full of drugs cookies for us to enjoy later?” Eddie asked, mentally apologizing to Hopper. Steve quickly looked around to make sure no one else was listening, his eyes wide as a secretive smile already started to pull at his lips.

“Ask me again once the kids are asleep,” Steve whispered in his ear, intertwining their fingers. Eddie steadfastly ignored the full body shudder rolling through his body, already calculating how much of a profit loss he was going to have to go through to get Steve to finally talk.

Taglist: @paopaupaus @zerokrox-blog @surferboyzaza @whatever-is-a-good-name@minjintea @addelyin @5ammi90 @hagbaby420 @shinekocreator @bornonthesavage @starxlark @electrick-marionnett @resident-gay-bitch @ash-a-confused-enby @classicdinosaurdeathpose @valon-whomsttf @rotten-lil-goblin @thereindeerlady @love-ya-kash @kerlypride @sparkle-fiend @thefreakandthehair @flowercrowngods @milf-harrington @sadcanadianwinter @gothbat99 @hotcocoaharrington @henderdads @lightwoodbanethings @colorful565 @h0n3y-dw @craterbbox @sourw0lfs @lesliiieeeee @bidisastersworld @tinynebula @ravnlinn @bonescaro @mexmatch @cottagecoredreams @joruni @hellykelly @maegan1116 @farewell-wanderlvst @desertfern @due-to-the-fact-that-im-a-slut @anythingforourmoonyedits @eerielake @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @sidekick-hero

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chaosgremlinmunson · 21 days

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I don't have a title for this, I wanted to explore the feelings and thoughts that come with anxiety and depression and how that could have affected Max during season four.

Tw: suicidal ideation, depressive episode, trauma and just very sad thought. Please read with caution if any of this is triggering for you.

Max sat in her dark bedroom, surrounded by blankets and shadows as she stared at her wall, blankly. Lately, everything had felt empty, devoid of any of the joy she'd been grasping for, try as she might, she couldn't find it in herself to care anymore. Her life had continuously been spiraling for years. Ever since she was young and just starting school she'd been the butt of jokes - the unwanted, unneeded friend trying to worm her way into people's lives and hearts. Before Hawkins she'd learned the hard way to lock her feelings down - let no one close to you, keep those walls up and defenses up higher. So high even the dragons in town couldn't break them down.

She scoffed inaudibly as that last thought had crossed her mind. Who'd have thought she would be sitting here thinking about dragons of all things? She'd opened up and let these annoyingly endearing geeks into her heart and then she'd lost the one constant in her life. Her shitty family, and now her mother and step-father, Neil, just stared through her. Like she was the reason this family was fractured. Of course it was her fault, everything was always her fault.

She gripped her knees close to her chest, her tears silently falling down her cheeks. She just wanted the pain to stop, for the void to go away, and for once to not feel like she may just bring down everyone around her. She'd overheard Neil telling her mother how if it hadn't been for her, maybe Billy would still be here. How she'd overheard her mother scream back that he'd been the black hole, the reason her daughter was slowly falling away from them. Max had heard everything about how she was the problem, she was the reason, or her reactions were the reason. Part of her wanted to scream out for it to stop, to pull so far into herself that maybe, just maybe, she'd disappear and no one would be hurt from her existence anymore.

She reached over the lip of her bed, picked up the shoebox of letters, and held them close before opening it, clicking on her bedside lamp. She caressed a purple envelope worn over time, still just faintly smelling of jasmine and chamomile and opened it - spreading out the letter she'd memorized years ago.

She read the words again as they ripped into her heart - her first love, Jessica, and how she'd broken things off after her parents had found out - seen the photo booth strip where they'd kissed chastely - and told her that she couldn't be Max's friend anymore. She begged Max not to contact her, She'd written that Max was the reason her parents didn't love her anymore. Max was the reason they looked at her like she was a demon. Max didn't know why she kept the letter, just that Jessica had been the first person she loved. Then she met Lucas and now how long would it be before he too walked away from her? Before he realized she was nothing more than a walking, talking black hole who would destroy his life too.

She rubbed her chest in circles, her breathing starting to hiccup as she fought to keep her thoughts to herself. To lock them away, find the mask with her smile and lock it into place, better than to bother anyone with how pitiful she truly was.

She closed her eyes, wrapped her blankets tighter around herself, and willed herself to sleep for a while. Lord knows tomorrow she'd have to show up to school and pretend the world wasn't a vast abyss filled with pain and suffering. “Tomorrow,” she thought to herself, “tomorrow we'll try again.” And let herself sink into a dreamless, restless sleep.

#max mayfield #depression #tw depressive #tw anxiety #tw suicidal ideation #tw homophobia #mentioned Billy Hargrove #shitty parents #max needs a hug #please read the tags #please read the warnings

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belovedharringrove · 2 years

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steve: i wanna start smoking again robin: smoking is very bad for you steve: billy does it robin: alright so, if billy jumps off a bridge, would you- steve: yes. robin: ye- what? really? steve: yeah, billy's smart. and hot. if he's jumping off a bridge, he's probably doing it for a damn good reason. and he'd probably look good while doing it, too. robin: ...alright, i'll give you that. but you still can't start smoking again. steve: aw :(

#harringrove #steve harrington #robin buckley #mentioned billy hargrove

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nebraska-is-a-myth · 11 months

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Abuse in 'Runaway Max': A Stranger Things criticism

One thing I know to keep in mind is that the book is told from Max’s perspective, so it's her eyes we experience the world from, and her opinions that guide us through the story. For that we have to value her as a somewhat unreliable narrator, considering she is thirteen at the time and dosnt understand certain things.

A quick timeline to keep in mind because the book handles time very messily:

Billy has just turned 17 by the time Max and Billy first meet.

After Halloween in season 2, Max says she’s known Billy for 7 months, which takes us back to early May.

They move in together three weeks after the wedding in late June, meaning Max and Billy have lived together for a total of 5 months by the time they get to Hawkins.

Neil confiscates Billy's car keys for two months in June, so I’ve taken an educated guess that Max first witnesses Neil's abuse somewhere around august, then in September/October Billy breaks Max’s friends arm, leaving for Hawkins late October.

Now onto the deep dive:

In 'Runaway Max', we learn about the terrible Hargrove family dynamic, and how the Mayfield's learn to navigate that. Max gets a very graphic front row seat of Billy's abuse in chapter 10, and during that chapter Max responds to that situation as any 13 year old would, scared and confused. Despite this however, Billy's image doesn't change in Max’s mind. She has no visible compassion for Billy at any point of the book except from this chapter, and after that she states that she’s actively trying not to care about “his stupid life and his cruel dad”.

From a writing standpoint, choosing this to be a part of Max’s character takes away from her complex experiences in an abusive household. Yes Max is a hardened character, but not exploring these difficult topics of disliking Billy while also feeling sorry for him makes her feel like just another pawn for the audience to make them dislike Billy. The writers could have made the step-siblings dynamic much more interesting to have them navigate this terrifying experience together. But I understand the duffers just wanted another one dimensional antagonist for season 2.

"I'd watched the Hargroves in action. Neil standing over billy with the belt - calling me a stupid little girl - making it clear that he thought I was weak and pointless. Knowing Neil believed that still wasnt as bad as the way Billy had hated me for trying to help him"

I have mixed feelings about this. I feel this description Max gives dutiful to anyone going through that situation, that they would feel disheartened by someone rejecting their help, and verbally berating them for it. However, it’s vitally important to understand the context of Why Billy reacts to Max this way.

During the assault on Billy that Max witnesses, Max calls out and interrupts Neil, trying to diffuse the situation. Neil responds not to Max, but to Billy “Is this the son I raised? A worthless loser who needs a little girl to fight his battles for him?” And then strikes billy again.

Max assumes this to be an attack on her, however that's not what's happening at all. Neil is using Max against Billy. He takes Max’s intervention as a sign of Billy's own weakness, a softness. “Any hint of softness and he would never let me forget” In a way Billy had been trying to teach Max to harden herself so that Neil couldn't find anything to target her for, Billy had been making her more likeable for Neil. And now this softness that Max is showing for Billy, by standing up for him, is getting him punished. It’s been implied before that this was the case, but now we are seeing it explicitly that Billy is being punished for Max’s actions. This chain reaction forces Billy into a position where he cannot be on Maxes side, he cannot be friends with Max, because siding with anyone other than his father equals punishment.

After Neil leaves, we circle back round to the sentence “Sometimes Billy acted like we were in on some big, crucial secret together / like we were in some sort of secret club together - like we could be on the same team” Billy had been trying to tell her from the beginning, they were both members of a club trying to navigate life with Neil Hargrove, bonded by shared experience. They were supposed to be on the same team too, victims of Neil, but Neil has made that impossible by using Max against Billy. “I could see all the ways he hated me” Neil isolates one from the other, Billy resents Max for getting him hurt, and Max resents Billy for rejecting her.

During most of the sections of the book that happen in Hawkins, Max continues to call Billy a “Monster”. However, never Neil. It’s not untrue that Billy has a mean streak, he can be cruel and heartless, most notably when he breaks the arm of one of Max’s friends. The only time this level of violence is seen in Hawkins is during the fight with Steve.

Both of these big outbursts of rage are built up by attacks from Neil. Note: Billy is still an asshole, these are not excuses for his actions only explanations.

Yes, there are two occasions in which Billy grabs hold of Max’s arm, but there is an argument to be made that this is just normal sibling behaviour. Have you never pushed or shoved your sibling before, or been on the receiving end of that physicality. It’s not always pleasant, but it’s not uncommon for siblings to get physical during disagreements. Max is also only distressed by this on the first occasion, “He caught me by the arm, and it wasn't the first time he’s ever touched me, but other times had always been to push me out of the way in the kitchen or flick me on the end of my nose. This time, his fingers closed hard around my elbow” - however the second and last time goes like this “He reached out fast and caught me by the wrist”. Those are the only times Billy is ever physical with Max.

Despite this, Billy is still the monster. “Billy was the closest thing to one that I had ever known - this was what it meant to live with the monster.” Monster singular. Billy is the most terrible thing living in the Hargrove home, not the man who beats his son.

Personally I find something off putting with Max ranking Billy as a worse monster than Neil. During the night at the byers she says "I understood now that Neil was in his head, and that meant he was just as dangerous as his father. Worse because Neil was cruel and frightening but he cared how things looked on the outside. Billy was crazy" Max isn't stupid, she knows Neil is a bad person, and maybe from Maxes point of view Billy is worse than Neil because Neil hasn't ever physically hurt her. But from a writer's point of view, to say that the victim is worse than the abuser? That is both dangerous and honestly disgusting. To call Billy crazy, and insinuate that he’s acting like a ‘bad victim’ because he doesn't pretend that everything is normal is so hurtful to victims of abuse who see themselves in Billy.

Continuing this thought, Max then goes on to compare Billy to a recently possessed Will. Which, first off, comparing abuse is never okay. But what Max says is almost worse, "Will had turned into something terrible and frightening, but even with the mind flayer working through him, he was trying not to let it. He'd almost gotten us killed, but you couldn't blame him because he didn't ask for this. He was trying so hard to stop it" Is the author trying to say that Billy should try harder to not let the abuse he has been experiencing at the hands of his father since before he was ten, affect him? Because if Brenna Yovanoff is using Will as a ‘good’ example of a victim of parental abuse, and using him to discount Billy's own experiences, then I’m sorry but who let this book go to print?

Obviously as a character Max choosing this comparison means very little to her because she doesn't know about Lonnie, but the writers do. Comparing Billy to will is a choice.

Billy and will have both experienced abuse from their fathers. Will is on one side of the spectrum of victims, quiet, timid and apologetic. Billy is on the opposite end of that spectrum, his experiences have hardened him, made him angry about what's happening to him. Billy isn't quiet, he’s an asshole and he has issues with authority, but the one thing that sets Billy and Will apart is the fact that Billy is still experiencing that abuse.

Will is a survivor, Billy isn't.

To imply that "you can't blame Will because he didn't ask for it", but it’s okay to blame Billy, does that mean we are supposed to think Billy is asking for it?

There are choices writers make in the information they reveal to their readers, the phrasing that is used and the comparisons they make. It speaks volumes that while Will is praised for his experiences and bravery with his dad, Billy is called a monster for acting out because of those same experiences.

I mean, tell me you're a writer who doesn't understand the complex reactions to abuse without telling me you only care about “good” reactions to abuse.

#stranger things #billy hargrove #max mayfield #runaway max #stranger things book #neil hargrove #abuse mention #stranger things meta #I have a lot of feelings about the way Billys abuse is portrayed and mostly forgotten about in the show #runaway max makes me physically sick with how it describes billy and max's indifferance to Billys abuse #I love when shows have no idea what theyre talking about when it comes to the spectrum of abuse #nebraska speaks

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