Tumgik
#assasination attempt
riedswifts · 2 years
Text
AFTER HOURS
Tumblr media
NOMAD!STEVE X READER
Warnings : smut, barley plot, oral (f receiving), praise, slight size kink, desk sex, slight breeding, fingering, steve has a bit of a mouth, fluff (at the end ), some dumbification.
Summary : you and steve seem to have a mix of tensions and the top one being hate, but a night alone in the tower shows what the real problem is.
Word count: 2.8k
┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊
Everyone had left out with their significant others, or friends or family. Nat had begged you to come but you kindly declined. Being on a long-standing mission, and nearly being on the brink of death literally- being an assassin and hanging off a building by a falling building is tiring. You also weren’t expecting some things and were worn out to the max.
You were under the impression everyone had left. Except Jarvis of course but that was a computer system. So you had no reason to wear full clothes and being a trained assassin leaves you in shape so you thought you’d be fine. Leaving your personal huge room in nothing but a black widow t-shirt and a pair of panties, no bra either, you just explored the tower in its glory during the night hours.
It was stunning to say the least and not to brag but you had one of the best views. Tony made sure your room had a floor to ceiling window with a space in it to go on the balcony that overlooked the city’s lights. It was payment in a way, you had nearly died saving his life quite a few times and even if he didn’t admit it you were his favorite on the team.
You had decided that you would go out on the very ledge thor and loki fought on. You had quickly snagged a bottle of any alcohol you could snag without stopping and made your way outside. You sat near the ledge but not fully on it. Your ankles hanging off the edge as you sat with your legs stretched out.
You held up the bottle and glanced at it ‘Daviun vodka’ you didn’t care for brands but this one seemed ok and the flavor was watermelon. So you popped off the top and set it beside you as you rested back on your elbows taking a swig and staring at the bottle after before shrugging with a satisfied hum.
You just relaxed not registering the sound of someone getting closer. It was a rare moment when you let your guard down but after all you had asked JARVIS prior to this if any one was here and the damn shit said no. Someone stood behind you and you slightly stiffened.
Without moving you acted clueless before in seconds you stood up and stunned the person as you broke the handle off the vodka and managed to flip them over onto their back holding the jagged edge to their throat. Bored blue eyes stared back at you with the upmost annoyed face.
You scoffed standing up completely forgetting your attire. You didn’t bother sticking your hand out to help him up, you just grabbed the bottle and started walking inside. You heard him scoff in disbelief but you didn’t care, he was a grade A dick after all- only to you- that was.
“Why are you here? Have no friends to go out with?” He asked trailing you inside. You rolled your eyes making a dramatic annoyance sound. “Do you?“ You shot back, it was a fifth grade response but you didn’t care in the slightest.
“Fifth grade response, Cute.” He said sarcastically and you with to cut his beard off and his throat but tony and natasha agreed no killing the super solider. stupid rules.
“What do you want steve?” You asked putting the bottle back, you started walking and made an abrupt turn into the small room. The one where everyone had sat and watched as they replayed a video of wanda accidentally destroying a building and killing people. It was empty, lights off, chairs pushed in.
You always came to watch TV in here because the projected screen was cooler to you. After all you didn’t have electronics until you escaped the red room with natasha. Steve still followed you in there but you ignored him as you picked up the projector remote.
Sitting on the table you slid back leaving from your knees down hanging off the table as he grumbled that you were ignoring him. “Do you have anything better to do than I don’t know..annoy me?” You asked rolling your eyes.
His eyes seemed to finally take in your appearance and you had neglected the fact that your nipples would poke through the thin t-shirt due to the coldness. His eyes darkened for a moment before he sharply directed his state to the screen. “Just genuinely curious as to what a looser like you decided to do when they’re alone.”
Your head snapped in his direction. “Oh fuck off steve.” You scoffed. Deciding to press play on the movie but before you could the remote was snatched out of your hand and you glared at him as he tossed it aside.
He stood right in front of you and you scooted backwards. Your eyes narrow in on him as he licked his lips running a hand over his beard. “What’s your fucking problem?” You asked extremely annoyed your night was ruined by the captain himself.
Though there was the faint throb between your legs that made you wanna stab your eyes out, how dare your own body betray you like that.
After the question left your mouth his eyes snapped back up to yours. His hair was slightly slicked back but looked like he had laid down in it because a few pieces had fell out. He paused staring at you making you slightly shiver. He saw the way your thighs slightly shifted to squeeze, the way your nipples poked through the thing t-shirt. He could faintly see the lace of your panties, he stared at you for a long moment.
Suddenly he grabbed your Ankle pulling you forward making you slid until you were right in front of him a mere inch from his nose as his hands rested on either side of you. “You see, my problem is, i can’t decide if i hate your guts or maybe it’s the frustration of not being able to rearrange them.”
Your eyebrows raised as your breathing sped up a bit. His eyes swapped between your eyes and lips, then they locked on your eyes maintaining eye contact as you felt the coldness of his avengers ring against your knee.
“Well then, maybe that’s a theory we need to test out.” You said as his hand slid up more leaving a trail of goosebumps before gripping your leg tightly. He smirked at how reactive you were to his touch.
He hummed before leaving you curious as he removed his hands. Suddenly they where on the curves on your ass pushing you flush against him, as if it was natural your legs spread allowing the bulge in his pants to press right against your now dampened panties.
Your back arched as you looked up at him and his lips crashed into yours, it wasn’t passionate, and soft- no. It was bruising, full of dominance and emotion. Obviously the fight for domination still stood and as an assassin you weren’t gonna give up.
However when his hands gripped your hips and rolled your hips against his you let out an involuntary humiliating moan. That allowed him to slip his tongue into your mouth and when he squeezed your ass he let you know, he had won.
You pulled away from him to breathe as you guys started at each other panting. His forehead came to rest against yours before laying you on the empty mahogany desk. He kissed you again bruising like as your hands started to wonder you tugged at his shirt and without disconnecting his lips from yours he took it off.
His hands slid up under your shirt cupping your breast and ran his thumbs over the hardened peaks. When your back arched it caused you to accidentally grind against him and this time you both moaned. He bit your lip before letting it go and kissing down your neck.
He sucked and bit making sure to suck each piece of smooth skin he could find. One of his hands pulled out from your shirt and cupped the back of your neck pulling you up before he pulled the shirt swiftly over your head.
He stared at you for a moment. “God, you’re stunning.” He whispered and before you could comprehend what was going on his mouth had latched on to your nipple sucking and slightly biting it making you moan.
He laid you back down and your mind fogged as you unbuckled his belt. However before you could do more he had grabbed both of your hands stopping his attacks on your boobs.
He pulled both your arms above your head and smirked down at your face, you looked stunning. Hair spread out and marks forming on your neck stopping above your breast. Your lips were swollen and bruised. He adored this sight.
God, he wish he had figured this out sooner, that instead of bitching he just actually fucked you. He didn’t think he’d find anything more addicting after seeing you in this state.
He kissed down your body stopping at the hem of your panties and deciding he was to impatient he tore them off making you whine. “i’ll buy you new ones.” He muttered as he got on his knees hooking his arms around your thighs. His hand pushing your stomach down.
You shivered as you felt the cold air of the tower directly on your bare pussy. Without a warning he shoved his face between your legs licking from your hole to your clit, the sensation made you gasp as your back arched.
“fuck!”
Steve groaned hearing the words fall out of your mouth. His tongue switched from sucking your clit to dipping his tongue in and out of you making you squirm. He looked up at you mouth and chin coated in slick. “Do not move your hands.”
Your brows furrowed as you continued to pant. “Wh-mmhh.” Your words turned into a soft moan when you felt one of his thick fingers slide in and bottom out. Your eyes pinched shut and your back arched off the table.
His other finger slid in as well and you tried to close your legs but he pulled them further apart. He watched your expression as he pulled them out almost fully before slamming them back in and curling them. He groaned and nearly came in his pants at the sight of you.
“Such a good girl for me.” He muttered before attaching his lips to your clit again and sucked on it whilst moving his fingers in and out. He Felt you tighten around him and couldn’t wait to see how you feel on his cock.
You were panting and babbling words of his name and please. What really sent you over the edge is when he sucked your clit with his teeth grazing it as he pumped his fingers harder curling them as your fingers locked him in.
Your orgasm crashed over you making your mind fog and your head limp to the side as pathetic whimpers left your plump and less swollen lips. He didn’t seem to care much that you had came all over his face because he kept sucking and licking up every last bit of cum.
You panted as you reached for his pants trying to tug them down as you recovered from your orgasm. When steve had finally freed his cock you assumed your face said it all because his chuckle was dark, taunting like.
He parted your legs again and you tried to close them but he roughly grabbed them pulling you closer to him but you let out a whimper when his huge side rubbed against your sensitive clit.
He made a mock frown face at you. “C’mon now sweetheart, be a good girl and take it for me, hmm?” He said as he massaged your breast with one hand and stroked himself. You nodded now desperate as the ache returned between your legs.
He let the tip slip in and he saw your face completely washed with pleasure. Brows furrowed, parted mouth, marks fully developed, and sweat beading your forehead. Without warning he pushed the rest of his way in and you gasp as he groaned.
You were used to sex of course you’ve had sex before but nobody was this big before. The intrusion felt good but the small sting was there lingering but it only added to the pleasure. “If you don’t stop squeezing’ me i’m gonna fucking cum.”
You relaxed around him and he groaned in relief. You felt more heavenly then he ever could’ve thought. He leaned down and captured your lips with his before thrusting with force and when he lifted one of your legs higher and he lifted your hips your eyes rolled back when he hit the spot that had you screaming his name.
“Look at you.” He said panting as he continued to thrust. “Takin it like such a good fucking girl.” With each word his thrust got harder and it made the breath get caught in your throat.
You grabbed his face kissing him harshly and he moaned into your mouth fueling the tightening in your lower stomach already. Suddenly he dropped you legs pushing them on the desk making them bend as he buried his face in the crook of your neck.
His thrust slowed to deep strokes. “You feel me, hmm?” He said and you moaned when he hit the spot inside you that had you babbling like a dumb person. Suddenly you felt the most unexplainable feeling.
It was like the tightness got tighter but mixed with a load of pleasure. You whimpered at the feeling as steve pushed his hand down harder on your lower tummy. “you feel that.” he panted as he thrusted again. “That’s how deep i am inside of you…”
“ohmygodohmygod.” was all you could babble as he pressed harder making the coil tighten up. “Steve- i’m gonna-“ He shut you up by kissing you as the hand that was pressing the bulge moved to your clit. “Do it, be a good girl and cum all over my cock.” He whispered as his thrust did not slow down.
He suddenly put his other hand behind your neck making you look down at his cock slipping in and out of you. “fuck- you see that?” He said as he kept moving in and out. Your hand was holding his wrist as his hand was behind your neck.
“C’mon- fuck!.” Steve said when you clenched harder around him. “give it to me.” he muttered as you laid back down and his fingers pinched and rolled your clit and he rubbed in a fast motion causing the coil to snap, your orgasm rushing over you like a tidal wave.
You blanked out for a moment, as black spots filled your vision and you’re pretty sure you said steve more times than any avenger had over the past years. You were moaning, sweaty, dazed and fucked out. Just how he wanted.
You got pulled back down when he kept running you and you whined tryna pull away. “to much.” you muttered and he mocked a frown. “Awe is my baby to fucked out? Look at you all dumb and can barley speak a full sentence.” He said and you moaned as he hit your over worked spot.
“You gonna be a good girl and let me cum inside of you hmm? Gonna fill you all up.” He muttered and you nodded. “Please- please cum inside of me.” your voice was hoarse and he held onto you tightly as his head went to your neck and you felt his thrusts getting sloppy before you felt ropes of cum deep inside you.
His head laid on your chest arms your arms circled his shoulder both of you laying there while his hands wrapped around you. He was slowly moving his hips pushing the thick cum into you deeper.
“Mr. Rogers? are you alright your heart rate seems exceptionally high? You as well Miss.” Steve who was Resting between your bare breasts chuckled making you smile.
“Oh i see Mr. Stark and the rest of them have returned. They’re parking.” Jarvis said and steve looked at you lifting you up as he looked at the cum mess on the table.
“Jarvis how much time do we have?” you asked as steve held you legs wrapped around his waist and due to the serum it was easy for him to hold your short frame up with one hand.
“Well five minutes starting now.” You and steve chuckled as you hopped down and cleaned the cum mess and he gathered your guys clothes.
“Good?” You asked fixing the chairs and everything. Steve nodded and Held his arm out and you jumped up wrapping your legs around his waist as he snuck out the room and ran up the stairs to his floor and shut the door.
“Guys?! Did you guys murder each other?”
That was all you heard from downstairs, before you guys bursted into giggles.
┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ┊
6K notes · View notes
starliight-whump · 2 years
Text
Panic! at the ball
Whumptember day 5 - drugged
Time for a new au!! This time James is in a royal setting.
Inspiration for this particular piece came from this post.
Haven't decided who I want the guard to be, so he will simply go by "Guard" for now. Will I ever decide? Only time will tell. xD
CW: drugging/poisoning, as well as description of it's effects.
James looked out over the hall, music swelled and colors swirled across the floor in a flurry of extravagant skirts and capes as his guests danced. Soon he would join, but first he would drink. It was nice to pause for a few minutes, the evening would be long. He took a long sip of his wine; dark red and smooth, with a hint of sweetness of summer berries. One of the best from his wine cellar. Only the best was appropriate for such an occasion, after all. And what an occasion it was! People had gathered from near and far for the event.
Another song went by, and as James took another sip from his goblet of wine, his vision blurred for a few moments and his legs wobbled slightly, as if the floor had just shifted under him. Frowning, James shook his head and blinked a couple of times, as if that would help clear the fog that had settled in his mind.
"What a lovely evening, Your Majesty,"
James turned to see who had spoken; a noble he had met many times before. Now wasn't the ideal time for a conversation though, his thoughts moved slowly as if stuck in mud and before James could really process what the man had said, he had already continued babbling about the evening; all too happy for the chance to speak with the King. James only nodded and vaguely agreed, he wasn't focused on the conversation. Something was very, very wrong. Unease slowly crawled across his skin and suddenly his stomach churned painfully, which drew a gasp from his lips, but the noble didn't seem to notice. Something was definitely wrong, indeed. James was feeling worse by the second, the dizziness grew and with it came nausea. Was he getting sick? But this was so sudden…
Cold chills of horror washed over James as he stared down in his half empty goblet of wine and realization set in. Poison. The thought drifted through his foggy mind. He had to get help, now. Frantically, James looked around for a guard, someone he knew he could really trust.
"Sire, are you- " The noble began, as he noticed something wasn’t quite right, but James held up a hand and cut him off before he turned away. Rude, but there was no time for politeness now. He'd spotted Guard not far away, that was who he needed to get to. James knew he could trust him.
Cold sweat broke out along his skin as James stepped across the floor on unsteady legs, accompanied by a dull ache spreading through his body. He felt awful, and terrified. Just staying upright, and focusing, was starting to feel like more and more of a challenge. 
The music, the voices and the bright clothes from all the guests seemed to blur together as James slowly walked across the floor, swaying, but he managed to stay upright. Well, just about. Wasn't easy when his legs felt about as steady as jelly.
All his remaining focus was on Guard. He had to get there, it wasn't far now. Just a little further… James was rapidly growing weaker, he stumbled and nearly lost his balance. The goblet slipped from his grip and as it crashed to the floor, the remainder of the wine splattered across it; dark red, almost like blood. For a moment, James stared at it, dazed. 
That seemed to have drawn people's attention, and some looked over and started to whisper about what was going on but James couldn't focus on what they were saying. He just had to keep walking, but it was hard when he was so dizzy and every step hurt. As his gaze went to Guard again they locked eyes and worry flashed across the guard’s face. "Help me…” His voice did not come out as strong as intended, and it was laced with fear. James’ eyelids fluttered and through half closed eyes could see the vague shape of Guard rushing towards him. “Help…” His quiet voice trailed off as his legs buckled underneath him, but rather than crashing down on the hard stone floor, he was caught by the guard's strong arms and sank against his chest.
17 notes · View notes
whumpwizard · 1 year
Text
Whumptober2022 Day 4: Dead on Your Feet
Essek should have known that they would come for him eventually. Whether the Lens or the Assembly got to him first, his outpost in Eiselcross could only be so secure. He had just hoped that they would wait until the morning to try and kill him. No such luck, of course, but at least he had finished his trance before the dagger pierced through his ribs, only barely missing his heart. 
He shouted in pain, enough to alert the guards, but he knew he didn’t have time to wait for rescue.  With a grunt and a struggle, Essek threw the assailant off of him, and stumbled towards the door to his study. Locking himself in, he grabbed the rug, and yanked it off the floor, revealing the teleportation circle beneath.  He had left it like that, near finished, just in case he needed an escape, and he thanked his past self for being clever enough to think ahead. With a single chalk mark, Essek vanished into the night, towards the one person he knew could help.
Verin wasn’t used to late night visitors appearing at his door. Sure, he’d had plenty that he brought home, but very rarely did someone come knocking at this hour. So, maybe greeting the cloaked figure with a dagger raised was a bit of a faux pas, but he wasn’t really thinking about manners at the moment.
“What the fuck do you want, bastard?” he shouted, flinging the door open. The figure jumped back, raising hands towards him.
“W-wait! Verin!” the visitor said.  Verin sighed as soon as he spoke. He knew that voice, and those slender hands, always more suited to magic than combat. And now that he looked down, Verin could see the figure floating.
“Light, dalnar, what are you doing here?” Verin asked. Essek removed his hood, and glided into the house.
“I am simply paying my brother a visit, is that not allowed?” he asked. Verin just raised an eyebrow at him.
“It is three in the morning, Essek. What happened? Hells, aren’t you supposed to be at Vurmas?”
“Y-yes…but I had to leave. I am simply going to stay here for a night while things cool off, if you don’t mind.” Essek said. Verin sighed, and poured them both a drink.  When he handed one to Essek, he couldn’t help but grimace a bit.
“Yeah.  Yeah that’s fine Essek. Take your cloak off and I’ll get a mattress for you, yeah?”
“Ah, I will sleep in the cloak, that’s fine.  It’s chilly in here.” Essek looked away, not meeting Verin’s gaze.
“Take it off.” Verin ordered. Essek looked back at him now, his face indignant.
“You will not order me around, dalni. I am fine, I wish to sleep in the cloak. That is all.” Essek’s gaze was icy, but Verin was immune to his older brother’s death stare. He just took a sip of his drink, and pointed at the ground.
“Then why aren’t you floating?” he asked. Essek looked down, and realized his feet were, in fact, touching the floor. He sighed.
“I am tired, Verin. Please just let me sleep? It’s not the end of the world, I just need a bed.”
“No, absolutely not. Normally I wouldn’t pry, you know that, but this must be worse than normal if you’re doing this bad. What happened, Essek?” Verin placed a hand on Essek’s shoulder, hoping to comfort his brother, but he was met with a wince of pain.  Essek sighed, and sat down on the nearest chair, setting down his drink.
He reached a hand into his cloak, and Verin expected him to pull out a scroll, or letter, or some other trinket that would explain why Essek was in such a state.  Instead, all the came back was his hand, covered in blood.
“I was attacked, Verin.” he explained. “I don’t know who by, and I barely escaped with my life. I…I used a circle to get here. You were the only one I could think of that I could trust not to-” Essek was interrupted as he started coughing, the convulsing aggravating the wound. More blood came up from his mouth.
“Shit, they must have punctured a lung.” Verin said, immediately pulling off his tunic to try and staunch the wound. “You need a cleric, Essek, not me.  I…I can’t fix this.”
“No, no clerics.  I have involved enough people in my stupid decisions.  Please…just help me?” Essek, for the first time in Verin’s life, looked scared.  Scared that he might die, that he might have failed, scared that this was it.  Verin pressed harder on the wound.
“O-okay dalnar…okay. No clerics…hold this here though.” Essek obeyed, holding the tunic to his wound while Verin went to get a medicine kit. He wasn’t the most proficient in using what was in the kit, of course, but he knew enough.  “Kay, now um…bite down on this.” He said, pulling off his belt, and placing it between Essek’s teeth. The wizard bit down, as Verin got to work.
The alcohol stung, and the stitches burned as they were threaded through Essek’s skin, but after a bit, the wound was closed.  Verin was still worried about internal bleeding of course, but that would take potions that he didn’t have on hand. For now, this would have to do.  This would have to get Essek through the night, until he could go to the supply stores and get the rest.
“Thank you…” Essek said, as Verin wrapped the wound and carried him to the mattress that he’d laid out.
“Yeah, of course. Light, you’re stupid sometimes, you know that? For someone so stuck up about being smart you’re a fucking idiot.” Verin said, lying him down.
“I am well aware. And you are still my blockheaded younger brother.” Essek retorted, though barely with half the effort.  His eyes were already fluttering closed, as sleep took him. Verin had half a mind not to let him, wanting him awake to make sure he didn’t die, but he knew it just wasn’t going to happen.  So, he sat down next to the mattress, watching his brother’s chest rise and fall, keeping an eye on him for the rest of the night. 
Essek was lucky he had already tranced.
11 notes · View notes
twitterexile · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
Assasination attempt on Argentina’s vicepresident Cristina Kirchner, gun fails to fire. Assailant, 35-year-old Brazilian, has been arrested.
Tumblr media
9 notes · View notes
spacedace · 1 year
Note
Damian doesn't know who Santa Claus is and Danny tries to gaslight him into believing in Santa
Okay but, like, wouldn't even be gaslighting! Santa canonically does exist in the DC universe, I think I remember reading something about him fighting through an army in hell to give Darkseid a single piece of coal once?
So like, Danny doesn't have to gaslight Damian into believing Santa's real, he just has to pull out the proof (Danny has a binder of everything he knows about the Spirit of Christmas for the purpose of when he eventually goes to war with him, Danny hates Christmas so fucking much haha) and show him evidence that Santa is real.
Probably ranting the entire time about how much he hates the guy & Christmas and it's obvious that this is Danny's arch nemesis. His one true villain above all others. Pariah Dark? A nuisance. Dark Dan? Just a tuesday. Santa? That motherfucker is the bane of Danny's existence and he will pay for what he's done (spread Christmas cheer).
And Danny's the newest member to the family. Damian's been encouraged to get to know his new brother and try and bond with him a bit, make him feel like part of the family. So, obviously, the best way to do that is to help Danny in his quest for vengeance.
And of course Tim & Jason end of getting roped in on this. Damian's grown since he's first came to live with his father. He still is a little brat to his older brothers - he's the baby of the family it's his right - but he doesn't actively hate them anymore and can admit when their particular skills would be useful. Tim is the best at strategizing, and Jason is a combat master with access to all sorts of weapons. With all of them working together Santa has no chance, they will destroy him.
Which all just makes me think of something like this happening lol:
“What…uh, what are they doing?” Duke glanced between the chaos unfolding in the family room to where Dick was calmly seated in his favorite chair, sipping idly at a cup of coffee.
“Sibling bonding.” Dick said. There was that specific aura of calm around him that said that he’d already gone through several crisis and all the stages of grief at least twice. Considering the calamity and chaos the eldest batkid had seen over the years - and especially the last few months since Bruce officially adopted Danny and brought him into the fold - it was a bad sign that he’d reached this particular state of Done (TM) before noon. The earliest Dick even woke up was two in the afternoon.
Duke contemplated turning around right then and there - the particular combination of people all excitedly feeding off each other’s feral energy on the other side of the room was a catastrophe in the making he didn’t want to be anywhere near when it finally breached containment and spilled out into the wider world - but unfortunately he was cursed with the curiosity that afflicted all members of the bat clan.
“It looks like they’re plotting to try and kill Santa Claus.”
Dick turned to look at Duke fully for the first time since he’d entered the room. He had the eyes of one that was deeply haunted by the horrors they had witnessed. On the other side of the room Tim was ranting about anti-magic tech while Danny, Damian and Jason argued over what weapons would be most effective against a demi god. There were schematics of what looked worryingly like a rocket launcher looking device that - if the scribbles on the whiteboard someone had drug into the room where to be believed - was going to be rigged to shoot ecto-grenades.
“Danny hates Christmas.” Dick said, and Duke noticed for the first time that his hands around the coffee cup were faintly trembling. “He’s declared Santa is his arch nemesis.”
Duke blinked, glancing over to the others long enough to see Danny start frantically scribbling the words Christmas Nuke on the whiteboard. No one else was trying to erase it. Tim looked worriedly contemplative. Damian and Jason where both nodding in agreement.
He was going to regret this. “But Santa isn’t real?”
Dick’s eyes gained a faintly manic glean, and Duke could faintly hear the sound of porcelain creaking warningly beneath the desperate hold he had on his coffee cup. “That’s what I thought!” Dick said, with enough cheer to make Duke flinch back instinctively. “But apparently he is.” A distinct crack appeared in the cup, coffee dripping down into Dick’s lap. “And apparently they’re going to war with him!”
Well, Duke considered, at least that explained why he caught the four of them burning down the giant Christmas tree in the city center last night.
2K notes · View notes
mishqua · 4 months
Text
Harry- You have been trying to kill me since I was born!
Volde- You were born to kill me! Who does that! It was so set in stone a prophecy popped up! Did it say I will murder gazillions of people, no! It said someone will br born to kill me. Honestly! Who does that!
Harry- Err.. you ok? You are repeating yourself.
Volde- Even I, the Dark Lord, was born to rule the world. I was never so gung- ho about murder! I just couldn't help it!
Harry- You are not helping yourself here!
Volde- *abs sobbing* You made me lose all my hair too!Look at me!
Harry- Y'know what- let's fight to death another day. Yeah? Good talk.
85 notes · View notes
Text
ive been thinking rrREALLyyy hard abt domestic zukka so if anyone has any headcanons for me: my ask box is a wonderful place and i think me and the zukka nation would be greatly appreciative of any/all contributions <3
43 notes · View notes
ladykyriaa · 3 months
Text
Hnnnggghh I can't wait when the 2nd arc finally starts because it's so so so good when I read the manga I can only imagine how good it'll be when it's animated😩😩👌
18 notes · View notes
maegalkarven · 5 months
Text
Everyone realizing Nemo has no plans of disbanding his murder cult what is more the assasins guild now: 😥
Nemo: "First of all, let's blow father's huge ass skull off the wall. Idc about that thing.
Second of all, Murder Tribunal needs to be reworked. I am no longer accepting every murder-happy idiot into the fold. Things will be ORGANIZED from now on. Whatever you do on your free time is your business, but killing done in the name of the guild will be done strictly by contract. No more killings for free. What? Yes, Father's ecstacy through murder will probably be annulled for many of you. Again, I don't care if you worship by dear old dad or not, but remember I am your leader and our guild comes first. Any religious preferences stay behind the door. What? Yes, of course you can worship Loviatar now, Caleb, I'm surprised you haven't already. Anyway, I want to officially invite all of you present to the wedding of our dear Clotilda and...Sorry, what was his name again?
9 notes · View notes
leonardoeatscarrots · 4 months
Text
More Mercutio fanart teehee
This time from my Spaceships and Vodka AU (I wrote a fanfic for Bobby)
Tumblr media
Designed to accompany the P.T. AU art I did this summmer:
Tumblr media
Fanfic can be founf in Bobby's discord linked below with his comic
Comic
Discord
4 notes · View notes
that-angry-noldo · 2 years
Text
The Pettines of the Dwarf, or
*inhales*
what the hell, tolkien
[did y'all know finrod was almost assasinated by mim? did y'all know? thanks @caenith for enlightening me, but did y'all know??
that's it. that's the summary.]
The secret passage was dark, unwelcoming and small, made by Petty Dwarves specifically for Petty Dwarves.
Of course, Nargothrond had passages made for Elves, which... kind of drove Mim mad.
Actually, a lot of things were driving Mim mad novadays. The way his folk mended easily with elven-kin, the way his people happily exchanged materials and labours and languages with that unnaturally big, unnaturally strong and unnaturally scary race.
It made Mim's blood boil.
Elves were not friends. Aman Elves - Noldor - were ten times not friends. They were a full-on threat.
It was the way their teeth were a bit too sharp. The way their eyes flickered with something ancient, something powerful, something Mim could never understand. It was the way the necklace glittered on King's chest and combed with his soul so perfectly that made Mim's very being burn with envy and hatred.
And this is why he was making his way to the King's chambers through secret passage.
Elves were stupid, trusting the Petty Dwarves so unconditionally. The King was stupid, not double-checking their work, not tearing their minds with his scary, cursed magic, not seeing the lie sticking itself under his very nose.
If the King is lucky, the only thing Mim will take from is that stupid necklace.
If the King is in his chambers -
Well, Mim will be more than happy to baptise Naughlamir in Felagund's blood.
~
No, Edrahil was not looking forward to a sleepover.
Sleepovers were stupid and childish and he told that to Finde right after the man proposed it. He was agreeing to it only because Finrod promised to get snacks.
It was totally not because his memory decided to play against him, bringing up the laughter and pillow fights and blanket forts and the taste of sweet berry juice and fresh cookies. Edrahil was a grown man, sleepovers were for children, and he was doing it just because Finrod was a kid in adult's body.
Finrod's rooms were big and cozy - they distantly reminded him of the Third House residence in Aman, and he almost relaxed, almost put his guard down -
Almost, but enough to react when Finrod shouted, jumping at him with pillow in his hands. Edrahil dodged and bared his teeth, grabbing one himself.
Oh, the game was on.
~
"Your majesty, I'm getting you know that you are disarmed and expected to surrender."
Finrod laughed, which sent him wheezing for air, considering Edrahil had him strangled under the pile of pillows.
"Holy- okay, get off-"
"Surrender first, muffin."
"Am not- ughh-"
"You definitely are."
Finrod trashed once more, trying to get free from his friend's hold, but Edrahil only smiled. Finally, the king groaned and nodded. Edrahil instantly let go.
"I guess I brought it upon myself," Finrod sighed, sitting up, only to immediately collapse on a pillows. "I'm definitely winning the next one, though."
"You can dream."
"You're no fun."
"I'm here for snacks, Finrod, and I'm not seeing them anywhere near."
Finrod frowned.
"I'm not giving them to you before you start being fun."
~
Since Edrahil wasn't going to be fun and Finrod wasn't getting him snacks, they compromised. The compromise being Edrahil getting Finrod in a chokehold again and calling him a muffin until the king agreed to cooperate and get the promised food.
Today was a good day. He may even like the sleepover, even though it was still childish and immature.
So now it was Edrahil's turn to lie on the pillows, awaiting for well-deserved cookies and juice. He tuned out Finrod's chattering from the other room halfway through, instead dissolving into the surroundings.
... screw that, if Finrod gets to be childish, so does Edrahil.
Edrahil also knew that the shadow near his friend's bed didn't belong there, that it most definitely was alive and that it looked suspiciously like one of Petty-Dwarves, which wasn't weird at all.
~You'd tell me if you had an affair with one of those little dwarves, right?~
~... what the hell, Edrahil.~
He could tell the exact moment Finrod fell silent, reshaping his usual giggly self into something quiet, something cautious, something dangerous. He could feel the moment the dwarf tensed, trying to hide in his cover.
The next second Finrod was in the doorframe, and there was a flicker of a dagger in the dim room's light, and Edrahil bolted.
Oh, the game was so damn on.
~
There was blood on Finrod's neck.
It was but a scratch - Finrod dodged quickly enough, and dwarf - Mim - goddamn Mim himself - was quickly disarmed, but Edrahil's blood was cold. Colder then Helcaraxe.
"Findarato," he growled. "I will cut his head and his limbs off, one by one."
"Please don't," Finrod said weakly. "The blood will be a pain to clean."
"I'm calling the guards."
"Ye- yeah, you probably should."
But Edrahil didn't move, because moving would mean leaving Finrod alone, and he's not doing it.
Finrod inhaled.
"What the actuall hell, Mim."
The dwarf was glaring daggers at them, and it made Edrahil want to strangle him even more.
"First, that was rude." Of course that would be the first thing Finrod points out. "Secondly - how in the world have you managed to get into my room?"
"He's not talking, Finrod. Can I just murder him?"
"We're not murdering anyone today, Edrahil."
"The guy's literally tried to send you off to Mandos a good millenia early."
"I mean, I'm still not in Mandos- wait."
Finrod turned to him, and sly fire flickered in his eyes.
"Edrahil, is this the first assasination attempt between the three houses?"
Edrahil opened his mouth, because why in the world would you say something like that just after said assasination attempt?
"Oh my Eru. Oh my freaking Eru, Edrahil. I was at the very bottom of the list."
"... Arda works in misterious ways, Finrod."
"Oh my- Edrahil, Maglor's gonna be so jelaous."
39 notes · View notes
isilienelenihin · 8 months
Text
Guess who just started playing Mass Effect
4 notes · View notes
the-omega-artist · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Tanjoubi giving Lola Bee a lecture… he’s gone off topic 7 times now, and the conversation has gone from ‘don’t break plates’ to how sanitation procedures in medicine hundreds of years ago was abysmal
4 notes · View notes
ascendandt · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
this image is p1 lara walking past the trammel (eva is also visiting)
4 notes · View notes
willshaper · 2 years
Text
I wonder what brought graves and moash together... Did graves know about moash's family? Did he seek him out and recruit him as soon as he was freed? Did he try to befriend moash innocently enough?? Act as a regular old friend? Did moash even know about the previous assassination attempt? How thoroughly was moash manipulated my graves? How much was it his own thirst for revenge?
6 notes · View notes
ierohero · 2 years
Text
I literally love it here
9 notes · View notes