Why Are Trans-Attracted Men So Weak!

Dear The Transamorous Network,

I’m trans. I’ve often thought that all it will take is a few fearless men to shift culture.

There’s this one guy who I’ve been talking with for years. He pursues me. He is charming, respectful and good looking. We met up once, and it was the best sex of my life. And yet, his parents would never accept him dating me, so he keeps me at a distance. That’s what we deal with all the time. Men who are otherwise good men, but are too weak to fully own their full selves.

I don’t want to hold their hands like a mom and lead them into this. They need to develop fearlessness on their own. So, I’m left just feeling sad that these many many men are too afraid to man up.

I think that if a few powerful men set an example, other men will see that power, and have permission to follow. If someone like Dave Chappelle talked about how he’s attracted to trans women, and he doesn’t give a fuck about judgement, that would shift culture. Instead, he makes entire comedy specials wrestling with his obsession with us, and projecting his shame onto us.

Tired of the weak men

Hey Tired,

Thanks for your eloquence. What I’m sharing here may sound harsh, but I swear, I don’t mean it that way. I want you to have what you want. And it’s so close! But like many of my clients, I think you might be shooting yourself in the foot regarding what you want. 

I’m not trying to offend you. Please remember this as you read on.

There has been at least one prominent man (Actor Malik Yoba) who proudly “outed” himself as trans-attracted. There are many men, not as prominent, coming out too. I featured many in my YouTube videos. And some of them have their own YouTube channels. I was just talking with one last week. Let me know if you’d like the link to his channel.

As in many cases, where we seek solutions to problems, we think a single act can solve it. Many people think, for example, that if just one prominent guy comes out and owns his attraction, others will too. I don’t think there’s a silver bullet here wrt transgender women and men who love them both finding “out loud” love. No matter how many prominent men come out, it’s always going to eventually be up to the individual to do the work. Other men can ease the strain of that, like the abundance of transgender people living out loud and successful today have helped other trans people live authentically. But ultimately, if we’re waiting for some shining knight to break us free, we’re going to have to wait a long time.

I have a question for you about your experience you shared about this wonderful seeming guy, who has so many characteristics you desire. I hope you will really consider what I’m offering in this question. I think it could cause for you a tremendous breakthrough. Then I’m going to follow the question with the rationale behind why I ask it. I share this rationale often with my transgender clients. Ok, here’s the question:

Why not take this man you describe as being so desirable in so many ways by the hand, not like “a mom” but like a supportive, empowering lover, and walk with him through to his self acceptance?

Here now is the rationale: Here you have this guy. This guy has so many of the qualities you’re looking for. He clearly (at least from what you’ve written,) satisfies you in so many ways. And yet, instead of YOU being courageous and daring and helping him walk this path as a supportive potential partner, you’re willing to cast all that goodness aside? Why???? Why are you being so stubborn about this? Because you’re judging him as weak?

I think transgender women (and people in general) think they’re going to find this perfect person who will be fearless and have no issues. Meanwhile, in that very moment, they are themselves dealing with issues of their own. EVERYONE WILL HAVE SOMETHING THEY NEED TO GROW INTO. And some of those things are fucking hard to grow into because they challenge very powerful social, familial and cultural indoctrinations hardly anyone avoids. There are LOTS of transgender people who go through exactly this. Yet, here you are (as an example) expecting the total package to show up ready to sweep you off your feet when you, yourself, most likely, had to come into yourself over time and still are, again, most likely.

That’s the same thing this guy is doing.

Here’s this guy possessing many of the qualities you want in a guy….and you’re doing exactly what he’s doing. He keeps you at a distance, so you do the same thing. Are you really being strong here? Or are YOU being weak.

Kettle, meet pot.

The guy is reflecting back to you who you’re being. If you want someone like this guy but without familial issues, you must stop being who YOU’RE being. You’re pointing your finger at this guy, while your other three fingers are pointing right back at you, Megan. Are you picking up the words I’m putting down here?

Now, you can meet a guy who will be fearless about his appreciation for you and even not care about what anyone thinks. But, I say this from experience, so long as you tell the stories you’re telling about trans-attracted men in general, and this guy specifically, you’re not going to meet such a man because you’re not a match to him.

But you can be.

You write: There’s nothing that’s sexier than a man who stands in his full power and owns who he really is. That’s the sort of thing that makes me want to fall to my knees.

In case you don’t realize it, you’re corresponding with such a person. I don’t write this to imply you should date me. I write it to preempt any sort of defensiveness or double-downing you might come back with. Think about what you’ve just read. This guy pursuing you can be the guy with whom a tremendous relationship blossoms. But YOU must be the fearless one. Not he.

TTN

Dear TTN

I understand what you’re saying. I think it’s complex with this man I know because his form of holding me at a distance is to meet trans girls for sex. I’ve expressed my desire for more, and he wished me luck with that. He’s clearly saying to me that he’s not open to more. I don’t want to be his booty call. I don’t want to be one of his many side girls. That doesn’t turn me on, and yet that’s all he can offer, given his situation and how he’s choosing to relate to it. It just feels like to do anything more would be to pine over him in a needy way. I’ve already been clear of what I want, a loving devoted relationship. Yes, I want the great sex, but that’s not something I will settle for.

I don’t mind you being blunt with me, by the way. I very much respect that. Lol, it even sort of excites me, because I love being in that space of growth and potential opening.

Thank you for your wonderful response. 

Hi Again Tired

I understand what you’re describing here. I wouldn’t want to be his booty call either. LOL

It sounds like his road is going to be a long one. Based on my experience with trans-attracted guys, I don’t think his current trend will continue though. At some point, he’s going to get tired of booty calls and want something more. That could mean something becomes available with him.

But I TOTALLY agree with you: you needn’t wait for that. And I certainly would not advocate pining for anyone, especially in a needy way. Yuck.

I love that you’re clear about what you want Megan. Me too. And I, like you, find excitement in that space of growth and potential opening.

TTN

As I get older and older I more tangibly realize why queer individuals in older generations than mine might prefer words I wouldn't use for myself, and likewise why younger generations preferences would be different too. Like it was always clear you know, a person knows their identity best and what labels they prefer best and even if you don't get it you should respect it. But I guess the older I get the more I realize I really don't know and never can know the background another person has for their perceptions and meaning for labels and why something in particular helps them to use or not

As much as I do not believe transmisandry/transandrophobia to exist I do believe there is a bit of a trend going on where transmen and transmascs are not listened to when they talk about their relationship to patriarchy. I've seen a lot of posts where transmen are told to understand their place in society as men. And while I agree that understanding the priviledges manhood might bring... It fucking sucks when you get silenced when you try to talk about how your past and present lived experience and therefore the priviledges you're afforded really does not match that of a cisman's, ot if you even after transitioning (whatever that means for any given individual) experience patriarchal oppression. I will personally always continue suffering from it as long as I have my uterus and ovaries. And even if I someday passed as a (cis)man, that will never take away the way living under patriarchal oppression has shaped my life and personhood.

I would like it if trans men were allowed to define their own experiences instead of thrown around the pathriarcally oppressed/opressor boxes with absolutely no regard to an individual's life. It's so easy for ciswomen to throw out any solidarity with a transman/masc individual when he/they come out as a man/masc, as if that somehow erases the same lived struggles. It makes me so sad that a word to describe your identity is a more important factor in building solidarity rather than mutual struggles and experiences!!

Trans-rights activists: Terfs hate any woman who doesn't uphold strict gender norms! They hate women who are tall, hairy, fat, ugly, or refuse to wear makeup!!

Also Trans-rights activists: Terfs hate transwomen because TW are super feminine and girly and love makeup and bras and talks with the girlz, and terfs are just mad because they're hairy and fat and ugly and look like men and TW pass better than them

A speech about a nightclub

They’re killing us. They’re killing us over and over and over again and it seems like no one cares.

When I roll with the Panthers we put on pistol belts and tactical vests and act as security for left-wing events.

We oversee the displacement of the homeless.

We hire lawyers to build cases against the city.

We watch the government confidently declare that there’s no need for a government response to the cold. After all, The communists will take care of the homeless.

They have left hundreds of people to freeze to death on our watch this winter. And they will leave thousands more to die before this is over.

I watch them ignore the people they deem unworthy everyday.

I see socialist rifle associations turning out at drag shows and queer events across the country to protect people like me because the state never will.

And then I see queer people dying.

We can’t be everywhere. The Panthers have jobs. The communists have jobs. The socialists have jobs. We protest on our lunch breaks. We walk the streets and care for the homeless on our days off. We pick up rifles and stand in front of them with our vacation time. We’re doing everything we can.

And they’re still killing us.

Their voices get put out on the biggest news networks in the world as they scream their hate over and over and over again.

They’re killing us. They’ve always been killing us.

This latest shooting hit me hard. I sing karaoke at a gay bar every Friday. I’ve met so many people there. Transwomen drifting in after their pride meeting ended, old queers who like to put on suits and watch the youth dance around the bar. Young gay men who’ve never seen such a diverse place in their lives. Butches, Femmes, Faggots, Bears and even the occasional Het.

I’ve seen so many people gathered around in joy. Talking about their children and their loved ones while they stand outside and smoke a cigarette. I’ve heard people pour every ounce of their suffering and joy into the microphone and I’ve cheered them every time.

And I can’t help but hear the gunshots in my minds eye. I can hear the glass shattering. I can feel the adrenaline rushing as people begin to scream.

They’re killing us.

They. Are. Killing. Us.

And we need to fight back.

love when women regurgitate „transwomen are my sisters“ because are they? are they really?

what do women have in common with trans identified men that doesnt apply to effeminate men who dont identify as trans? does that make effeminate men our sisters too? and what if a transwoman isnt effeminate at all? what do we have in common? why would a lesbian woman recognise a straight man who thinks he is a woman as her sister? etc

cant we have compassion with marginalised men without pretending we are the same?

oh by the way i bet you’re so scared of trans women that pass as cis. oh NO i thought that woman was hot but it turns out she has a PENIS!! nobody can blur the lines of gender because what if i get a crush on someone i shouldn’t ): because attraction can’t be fluid or blur the lines of gender at all D:

nobody’s asking you to date people with dicks if you don’t want to jfc just stop invalidating lesbians who do date trans women. stop invalidating lesbians who are trans women. keep trans people out of your fucking mouth for a second. reevaluate your beliefs for a second maybe.

is sex really that important? are people’s genitals at birth really that important? are intersex people irrelevant because they’re only 1% of the population (79 million people)? you say you believe trans women are female but then you say lesbians don’t date trans women. are they female lite to you? Can you define who lesbians can date in a way that excludes all trans people and includes all cis women?

i've seen feminine men and thought, "wow she's hot," only to realize i'm looking at a cute gay guy. attraction disappears. i thought that person was a woman, was attracted to who i thought was a woman, and upon finding out i was wrong, the attraction fades. i am not afraid of this. this is not a scary thing, it is simply a real thing.

no one is asking me personally to date people with dicks, they're just asking me to share lesbian-only spaces with them where they can walk up and hit on me when the point of lesbian spaces is that i'm free from that imposition, and if i want to decline i have to pretend it's for some other reason, not because they're men; they're asking me to pretend we're the same and we just aren't. no one is saying transwomen aren't people worthy of spaces of their own, people who love and are attracted to them, we're just saying they're not entitled to OUR spaces or OUR love and attraction and we shouldn't have to play pretend that they are.

you tell on yourself with the word "invalidate," because real things are not destroyed by invalidation. you know what happens when someone doesn't know, doesn't realize, or doesn't believe i'm a lesbian? absolutely nothing. i remain a woman attracted only to women. invalidation only affects imposters. if invalidation is affecting transwomen who are pretending to be lesbians it is because deep down they know they just aren't; they're atypical heterosexual (or bisexual) men, but there is no fathomable universe where any man, even one with a special attachment to his concept of womanhood, is a lesbian.

god, YES sex is important. it is one of the main organizing factors of the world and it is especially important to women. don't trot out intersex people when it's convenient for you to make a shitty point (and to do so poorly, btw). intersex people are male or female and their conditions cause actual health impacts in their lives, they are not your convenient puppets and the vast, vast majority of trans people are not intersex so knock it the fuck off.

i have NEVER said i believe transwomen are female. trans women are necessarily male, unless you think it's possible or okay for a "cis" woman to "identify" as a transwoman? lesbians are females who love and are attracted exclusively to other females. it's very easy.

congratulations on figuring out your bisexuality.

is the support group for people abused by trans women a radical feminist group, or is it trans friendly? i'm ftm and part of the abuse my ex put me through was pressuring me to detransition and misgendering me because she thought i was more attractive as a woman. i really want a safe place to talk about it, and i really couldn't handle it if the group was like, going to call me female and misgender me, as that's exactly what she did to me

I no longer run any support groups. I'm sorry to say but I don't have any trans-friendly resources for you, although I'm sure there are some hidden out there, bc there are always pockets of wrongthink and resistance in oppressive movements. It's possible some trans men followers might offer personal support on this post. And regardless you are absolutely not alone. The way the support group got started was by my gf & I being brave and approaching personally other trans people who we knew had also been harmed, so that's an option as well. Otherwise I will say the books that helped me the most were Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan and Loving to Survive by Dee Graham. I also worked with the community of survivors and put out an anthology on harm done by transwomen in the queer community, but most of the pieces (including ones by FTMs) do use sex based language. If you want to read it, it's in the US library system and a few others as well, or it's sold at cost.

I wish you nothing but the best and I know how hard this is

Everyone be normal to anon on this post, do not use your time to try to cyberbully a survivor who's done the difficult thing of asking for help and think you're engaging in activism

The Best Trans Love Comes from Happy Thoughts About Love

Many trans-attracted guys and transgender women ask me how to get love they want. Some aren’t ready for my answers. Others, become clients. Those folks not only live happier lives, they eventually get what they want.

They get a lover, or a job. They stop thinking of killing themselves. In short, they become happy.

Sometimes clients will ask why what they want isn’t happening. I tell them it is happening. When the client can’t see it happening, it means they’re telling stories which block their perception.

Whether we perceive our progress or not makes all the difference. Every thing we want does manifest. But often, important “manifestations” slip by our awareness. For example, most transgender women will not celebrate the thought “My joyful, attractive lover is on the way”. They’re too focused on not having that joyful attractive lover. Or they complain about men they’re meeting.

Chasers, scared guys and guys just looking for dick pics abound. When they fill transgender women’s dating lives, it’s easy thinking they’re the only men out there. It’s true for trans-attracted men too. When trans-attracted men can’t find a transgender woman who will take them seriously, or can’t find any in their area, it’s easy to say “there are no transgender women near me.”

The problem is, whatever we look at or talk about becomes our reality. So when a guy shows up representing an improvement on the kinds of guys the woman usually meets, she’ll look at that guy through her past experience. She will look over the improvement. Then say “nothing is changing”, or, like a recent client: “I always meet these kinds of guys.”

And when a transgender woman appears in the man’s neighborhood, he’ll literally not see her.

Incremental improvement

Meanwhile, improvement, evidenced in the new guy, still exists. So does the transgender woman living in our neighborhood. Just because we don’t see them, doesn’t mean they’re not real. But if our perception stays stuck on past negative experience, then for all intents and purposes, they’re not real. We’ll keep creating more negative experiences instead of seeing what we want coming true.

Which explains why so many transgender women and trans-attracted men struggle with everything from negative self image to negative dating experiences. Or no dating experiences at all. Loneliness, depression and sadness or dismal online dating results all indicate chronic focus on past negative experience.

But something cool happens the moment a transgender woman or trans-attracted guy changes their perspective. In that moment, a new dimension shows itself. In that new dimension, improvement shines everywhere. It was always there. But with our changed perspective, we now see it. We see our men getting better. And we start seeing transgender women everywhere.

We change our perspective through stories we tell about what we’re looking at. So long as we tell stories about things we don’t like, we keep seeing those things. We keep experiencing them too. But when we focus on improvement and talk about how improved our life becomes, we support more improvement showing up in our perspective.

^^Anyone can find that partner they want (Photo by Caleb Ekeroth)

Evidence abounds

For example, one of my clients, who I’ll call Karen, dates exclusively online. These days she only does so when feeling lonely or depressed. That’s improvement. Another improvement though, shows up in men she’s meeting. Karen is on her 52d week of practice. She��s improved her stories a lot. But she still has many other stories needing cleaning up.

Nevertheless, she acknowledges small improvements in men she meets online. She really wants to meet men in person. But for now, the story “I can’t find a man locally” dominates her attention. So she doesn’t notice when men compliment her or strike up conversations with her, which they do often whenever she goes out.

Karen didn’t agree when I told her men she meets online have improved. After detailed analysis, however, she couldn’t disagree. The men still ghost her. Or they are early in their trans-attraction and thus unwilling to meet in person. But Karen had to agree, they improved in terms of their willingness to talk with her, the things they had in common with her, and how they treated her.

Noticing incremental improvement is crucial. That’s because that’s how all manifestations happen, including relationship manifestations. It’s also crucial because noticing that improvement adds momentum behind the improvement. Without noticing the improvement, or worse, noticing no improvement, we perpetuate what we’re getting; whether that’s sucky men, crazy transgender women, or no relationship nibbles at all.

^^Getting what you want can be hard when we keep looking at what we don’t want. (Photo by Adrian Swancar on Unsplash)

How to not get your true love

Appreciating incremental improvement also holds back impatience. Impatience happens when we overly focus on the relationship we want. We recognize it’s not there. Then lose sight of the incremental improvement. Impatience tells us we’re creating a reality we don’t want. Usually that means more of what we now have.

It’s also important knowing what “manifestations” look like. Impatience is a manifestation. So is recognizing the impatience. Doing something about it is a manifestation too. Appreciating ourselves for doing that is too. It’s important to understand everything is a manifestation. It’s important because even an emotional improvement is progress. And going from impatience to appreciation represents an improvement.

Anyone wanting a relationship they think they can’t have stands amidst manifestations telling them something they really want to know. Those manifestations include negative emotions they feel while standing where they stand. I help clients practice everything I shared in this post. Not only do clients live happy lives as a result, they also eventually find the guy or girl of their dreams.

It doesn’t happen in an instant. It happens gradually. The good news is, on the way to that ultimate relationship, my clients find their lives becoming increasingly happier. Want what they have? Contact me.

i've been on radblr for a while, and maybe it's because of the specific users i follow being woc or disabled, but recently i've been seeing more ableist and racist radblr users crawl from whatever hole they've been molting in

in light of a recent conversation thread between @menalez and two whitefems, i've come to see the issue other radblr users have been talking about

radblr lacks a culture of intersectionality. there are many white/straight/abled women here who think solidarity means we only cater to their liberation, and they can ditch us whenever they please. it is one-sided support, and isn't solidarity at all. they are used to being centered, used to seeing themselves as default woman, used to seeing themselves as the standard of feminism and womanhood. their problems as more deserving.

i'm not going to use this post to diagnose radblr, but to say why these women are insanely stupid

racist and imperial radfems have been bold in their assertion that their empires are somehow benevolent, neutral, helpful to outsiders. they have endorsed their militaries, asserted that they are genetically and intellectually superior, and that they're oh so tired of stupid, backward women from stupid, backward countries whining about how colonization improved their society. (and some western black users have agreed).

and it's so STUPID because . . . how do you not see you're approving of the structure of your own oppression while complaining about the injustice of it?

you can acknowledge that men have misattributed women's achievements to men, that they have destroyed, twisted, and erased their history. you can acknowledge that the reason there weren't as many women geniuses as men was because of the brutal subjugation and social, economic barriers women faced, or some just had their ideas stolen and died unnamed and unattached to their invention. you understand how women's language, spaces, and philosophy have been hijacked by the male perspective in everything, from religion, to education, to literature. in marxist or materialist analysis, you understand that economy creates culture.

but you can't understand any of that when it comes to majority world countries? you mysteriously lose your capacity to analyze culture when you're at the top? your countries are rich because they're just so gosh darn good at being rich, aren't they? stolen wealth and labor doesn't give you a head start at all! and if money is power, and you have the money, you can get away with stealing even more, but that only applies to men, see? not our nice, lovely, governments! colonization and war aren't actually that bad or brutal and don't have any lasting negative effects! neocolonial systems don't exist! it's not like our beloved empires have anything to do with killing the cultures of billions because they can, they have, and it is in their best political and economic interest to. black people never did anything significant! this is a fact, and has nothing to do with deliberate propaganda from imperial countries! imperialist propaganda, ha! imagine that? african and asian people can't be smarter than white people, because . . . . genetics! whitefems on radblr care so much about science when it comes to transwomen, but their brains turn to mush when it comes to thinking whiteness somehow genetically increases intelligence. biology, everybody!

it's honestly funny. like you're trading one regime for another, congrats! you're anti-revolution! you can get off our backs and stop using our plight as examples of your oppression.

and to the british storm trooper that claimed her intelligence was genetic--if you truly believe that, you've got two options:

consider that this statement is unscientific, racist, and false, or

take an ancestry DNA test and find out if you're adopted :)

⚠️AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE

The past month has been riddled with false hopes and lies.

My heart has been severely played with, and I must make some statements clear.

I am female.

[[GENDER NON-CONFORMING ]]

Please, for the love of God, WOMEN, stop sending me love letters.

I do NOT have any interest in women romantically or sexually. Period. This includes transwomen. This is one of the reasons why I have not gotten back to many of my INBOX responses yet, and I don't want to keep responding to women who think they can get their hopes up.

I only like men.

I am only interested in receiving and responding to genuine love letters from MEN ONLY.

I am not "transphobic," as I have had feelings for transmen in the past, but my heart has no more room for another.

I have massive trust issues, and they have only gotten worse in the past month.

My brain is COOKED from all this deception I've dealt with. I am broken. I can barely function and only want people to respect my boundaries and preferences.

I read your pinned post and was wondering, when you say you support dysphoric transitioned people as long as they don't use opposite sex spaces, what are your feelings on trans people who are "stealth"? Either for safety reasons or convenience or what have you. I'm new to radfem tumblr and am still forming opinions myself.

hey :) so this is an interesting question.

I think first of all, there should be some kind of legislation that takes away civil rights from sex offenders. Sex offenders, for example, should be prohibited from going into so-called "vulnerable spaces" like changing rooms and bathrooms (for any sex), places with a lot of children etc. This should also be supervised closely, of course. That would prevent males who are sex offenders from going into women's spaces at all. (Sex offenders also shouldn't be allowed to transition imo)

Secondly, I think that there are two types of sex-segregated spaces. One I would call the kind of space where you can choose to go or not to go, like for example a convention for lesbians, a gay bar for only gay men, a women's only event etc. There is no good reason in my opinion for a transgender person, stealth or not, to go to any of those events for the sex that they do not belong to. You can freely choose to not go to a lesbian's event as a straight trans-identified male, so I would assume that it isn't for you and you can go to another open event instead of going into another person's space.

But there is also the second type of sex-segregated space; the type of space where you can't just choose to not go. This would be things like public bathrooms, prisons, changing rooms etc. And there, I think that we should work on creating third spaces for people who are transitioning, like single-stall bathrooms or changing rooms, or an extra section in the men's prison for men who are likely to be attacked by other men (like gay men or transitioning males). So what should be done in the meantime? 1. we have to work on the main problem here, which is male violence. There has to be a legal system in place that consequently punishes males who attack transwomen because they don't want them in their restrooms 2. there has to be a more realistic concept of "passing". I see mtfs on reddit all the time talking on how much they love passing, but then I click on their profiles and they don't even remotely pass 😭

So okay, after these points have been adressed, I think that a person should use the space that causes the least amount of upset. I don't think that there is a perfect response because in this society, there is still a lot of bigotry and male violence.

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ Hi there! My name's Wicker~! ♡ Cis Femme (She/Her) | 27 | Sub Leaning Switch ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ I'm the doll you all love to share. ♡ We all know I can't be owned. I seek not to be your lover but instead, your friend! ♡ I made this blog for fantasy and fun. ♡ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ This is an 18+ blog with an emphasis on hypnosis and hypnokink, w/ light girl loving girl, cnc, and drugging kink mentions. Sometimes, I even share cute things, too!

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ Minors DNI | TERFs DNI | Detransitioners DNI We also do not allow sissification, heavy actual sexist degrading kinksters, anti-trans/ace/homo blogs, or people who actually believe women are biologically inferior. Get the fuck out of here with that. Acephobes will be hunted for sport. ♡ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ TAG LIST!! These are the tags I try to use on my blog. While I do not tag EVERYTHING, I try to tag as much of this content as I can. I have included these below for searching: #nsft - Self explanatory. #induction - A script, audio or visual, for your enjoyment. #hypnoart - A place to find artwork containing hypnosis themes. #wickerspeaks - My personal posts. #spiral - Self explanatory #safetyandconsent - Posts about hypnosis and safety. #psa - Blog updates, notices, etc. ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ I am grey-ace. It is a big part of my identity. As such, it's important to remind my followers that this blog is purely fantasy. I still love getting to know you! I will never interact off of Tumblr, please stop asking for those details. They are not yours to have. Everything else from below the cut! ♡

I'm a doll who loves to be played with~ ♡ Drop me all day long, fill my mind with spirals, ask me to listen to things, read your posts, worship you while under a spell~ ♡ If you are able to message me, that means I went through your blog and trust you to play with my mind~ ♡ In fact, I want you to. ♡ Nothing makes me feel happier than being entirely yours for a spell~! ♡ ♡ Your gender identity will not impact how I feel about you. ♡ ♡ And by my word we support girls with dicks on this god damn blog. ♡ Femboys, transwomen, enbys, genderfluid, genderqueer? Get in here, we love and support you all. ♡ My Big Yesses: ♡ - Hypnosis with praisin -- praising you, or you praising me, equally okay. ♡ - Being reminded I'm better this way (remind me this is for my own good, that I love doing this, that I always wanted it, etc.) ♡ - Spirals! ♡ - Getting sent cute drabbles~! ♡ - Having conversations are just as good as being dropped spontaneously! I can pull myself out of trance very easily. I have followed blogs that have shown they understand consent so if you are able to message me, you have my permission to spontaneously drop me~♡ My Hard Nos: ♡ - Body fluid talk, including sucking dick. Blood is okay. Don't talk cock around me. I don't mind mentions of wet/moist/blood/drool, all other body functions are a bit of hard line. ♡ - I do not want to be told that I'm worshipping your penis, please, gross, stop. Cock sucking posts are easy to scroll by but take me right out of a scene almost instantly. ♡ - Do not message me about sexual shit right off the bat, I am not a sex doll, thanks! ♡ - Men, I'm sorry, I am pretty gay, I prefer to talk to the ladies and enby folks out there when it comes to being dropped. Part of this has to do with gender expectation, and unintended bias, but please please feel free to message and chat, just know I might be like, another male dom coming into my page? Time to harshly evaluate. This is due to many men not respecting me lately. In general, no one owes anyone communication, just a reminder! Safe practicing out there everyone!

I love how much transwomen are loved, it's genuinely great to see

But jesus christ where is the love for transmen? Everyone takes Okiku seriously but they don't take Yamato as seriously, especially in the dub

I follow so many transmen but how often do I see transmen posts vs transwomen posts? I see so many posts about beautiful women and its lovely to see, but where's the love for the men like me?

People will talk all day about girlcock and I love that for them, genuinely, but we need boypussy posts, we need love for the men who arent taken seriously, we need love for the men who dont even look like traditional men, we need love for the cis and trans and intersex men who have to put up with so much androphobia

I love you trans men, I love you cis men, I love you intersex men, if you identify even slightly as male, I fucking love you, I love you with all of my heart, men are amazing, especially trans men, you deserve more than you get and I'm so sorry people don't take you as seriously as you deserve, you deserve the world ♡

I wanted to talk about being transfeminine and sexual attraction.

I'm pretty much exclusively Butch4Butch, and I don't want to be. Don't get me wrong, butches are handsome and calming and wonderful, and the love of a butch woman is a special thing that I deeply desire. I am Butch4Butch. But, I actually spent most of my life painfully attracted to femme lesbians.

From a very young age I was aware of the idea that men would pursue lesbians who absolutely did not want them, and I always wanted to be respectful of women. So, it was a bit of a problem when I found myself exclusively attracted to queer women.

When I was twelve I realized that I was attracted to transwomen above all, and I suppressed that part of myself because I didn't want to be another drooling man who fetishized transwomen. I used the idea of respect to deny a part of myself.

When I got older and met a few other lesbians (incredibly rare in the rural south) I thought they were the most beautiful, interesting, and attractive women that I had ever met. There was something about them that drew me. I wanted to be closer to them in any way that I could. But I didn't want to be another man fetishizing lesbians. So, whenever I found myself attracted to a beautiful feminine lesbian, I suppressed the desire. Brutally. Once again using respect as my tool.

I was terrified that someone would learn of my transgression. And then everyone would know that I was, 'one of those.' Someone to be avoided. Queer women wouldn't want to be friends with me anymore, and they were the only people that I could be myself around. So, I didn't really date at all. I spent 24 years keeping my sexuality on an incredibly tight leash.

This idea of repression through respect hasn't gone away. The idea that Femmes are Not For Me is deeply ingrained into my mind. It doesn't feel safe (in my own mind) for me to express sexual desire for Femmes. There's always a moment of fear and hesitation, which typically leads to words unsaid.

I know that's not the case in reality. But the twinge inside me whenever I feel that attraction hasn't gone away.