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meanbossart · 2 months

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I've been loving the DU Drow as a companio asks, so I've got my own. I was wondering what kind of interactions he would have with the other companions.

More specifically, we know Astarion flirts with almost anyone (for his own reasons) and even sleeps with Bae'zel at the tiefling party if you turn him down as a player. So, since the Drow is in the group now, what would his interaction with Astarion be? Would Astarion assume him to be the strongest and best chance of survival if manipulated? Would Astarion try to sleep with the Drow the same way he would with Lae'zel?

(Regarding the companions in general) Oh I can easily see him and Shadowheart having some cute party banter, they'd poke light fun at each other and have a similarly "darkly dramatic" reaction to things. He'd easily be the most talkative with her, often initiating mundane conversations about stuff you find. I can see some dialogue between them triggering upon finding one of the many drink-stashes you come across where they discuss what they like best when it comes to wine - or what they think they like, at least, considering the state of their memories.

Gale would be eager to inquire him about drow and the underdark, and where he got his fighting prowess from, which would visibly annoy DU drow since he can't fucking remember anything LOL he'd comment about how he always thought male drow were supposed to be a little… Flimsier, prompting a response along the lines of "I suppose my mother must have fed me well. I do have quite the appetite for loud-mouths."

Gale's like :U my goodness. Point taken.

He might talk to Karlach about Avernus, being fond of the savage nature of it. He'd also ask her if "something's bothering her" and when she asks why he's asking, he comments on how she can never seem to be still for long LOL

If Jaheira joins the party later she takes an interest in him (I WONDER WHY) and they could also share a little friendly banter. DU drow ends up asking her things about Baldur's Gate and herself to fill the gaps in his memory, as well as her children. He expresses how, if he thought himself more fit for a father, he'd have some of his own. Jaheira tells him it's probably better this way.

The banter with Astarion would be pretty par for the course - a mix between being flirtatious in nature and a little passive-aggressive all at once. At some point he says he can't keep quiet about how he stinks of carrion - DU calmly tells him that it can't be helped, due to their circunstances, and that he has a pretty cadaveric perfume himself. Astarion gets offended and tells him he knows for a fact that he smells lovely - DU drow tells him those statements need not be mutually exclusive.

He'd also ask Wyll about Mizora and what it's like to be in her servitute, claiming that he "wouldn't mind doing her a few favors himself" and Wyll tries his darn best to brush that off.

Lae'zel picks on him about his, erm, unreliable state of mind and accuses DU drow of basically being a ticking-time-bomb. DU responds that he feels less like a bomb and more like a vent releasing a steady flow of noxious fumes - if that helps her sleep better at night.

He also snorts at Minthara's "jokes".

(Onto the second part of this already far-too-long reply:)

And I THINK SO, I think Astarion would take him for being more easily manipulated than Lae'zel and try his luck there instead.

Small detour: you know, I always thought it'd be neat if some of the companions formed relationships with each other if you didn't pursue them. We see friendships form but romances would be fun too - like Karlach and Shadowheart could get together if you didn't pair with either of them, and Ascended Astarion and Minthara if you happened to have that party configuration in act 3. I don't really see many of the others having that kind of chemistry, but I wouldn't want the whole camp to be in love with each other anyway lol just 1 or 2 other couples would make the party feel more autonomous.

So, in a world where that's a part of the game, I obviously would say they get together if you don't romance either (from a mechanic standpoint player still gets first dibs LOL) and that unlocks unique party banter and dialogue where you can ask them about it once per act and reveal the "status" of the relationship. In act 2 you get to comment about how they seem to "steal away" together often. Astarion implies they're obviously having sex, and that he's always wanted to "try a little drow - but a big one is even better". If you ask DU drow about it he keeps details and motivations to himself, but acknowledges that they have something going on. You can then tell him that you believe he's being used, and DU drow very nonchalantly says that "he's well aware", but that he isn't worried about it.

In Act 3, when you ask again, Astarion somewhat bashfully reveals that the drow grew on him, and if you press on about the topic he reveals that they haven't even had sex since act 1, they just do a lot of talking, as he sheepishly puts it. If you ask DU drow about it he's much more upfront in saying that they've become an item, and that he's very happy in Astarion's company.

#ask #companion DU drow #will start using that tag in case I ever wanna look back at these

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sci-fi-gifs · 1 year

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What a stink! MEMORIES (1995) - Stink Bomb dir. Tensai Okamura

#sfgkumi #*#memories #tensai okamura #scifiedit #filmedit #filmgifs #userteri #usermichi #mikaeled #userarina #flashing gif

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contentloadingandstuff · 9 months

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Cheering them up - Male!Reader x Platonic!Klee & Platonic!Qiqi

CW: Male!Redeader, platonic characters. A little Jean x Male!Reader.

A lifeless stare traces over the approach to Bubu Pharmacy, pink eyes peeled for one thing, and one thing only. Despite her best efforts, Qiqi can't find them.

There are no finches anywhere in sight. Not on the road, not on the cliffside, not in the flowerbeds. There are only pigeons. But Qiqi doesn't care about pigeons. They are ugly and stink of grime and decay. She doesn't like that smell.

Qiqi sighs. If her memory was any better, she would be mad. After all, not a single of the little birds showed itself for the past two hours. She had to help Baizhu, so she wrote that down. In what way - the notebook did not specify. She also wrote that she will go and help after she sees a finch. Yet none of them did as much as fly by her.

Something must be wrong. Qiqi's dried up brain attempts to process the situation. She has to help Baizhu, but she also has to see finches. Baizhu is in Bubu Pharmacy. Where are finches? Baizhu showed her finches one day, so they must be where he is - on Bubu Pharmacy grounds. But somehow they aren't here. Then maybe they are in the building? No. Finches need space to fly, even if they are small. That doesn’t make sense.

Qiqi doesn’t notice you sitting right next to her, too deep in her considerations. You pat her head gently, attracting her attention.

“Hello Y/N.” She replies, dry and emotionless as ever. You smile kindly.

“Hi. Looking for finches?” You take a quick glance around the area, but find nothing bird-like.

“Yes. But Qiqi can’t find any.” She sighs, looking down at the pavement. “This makes Qiqi… sad. Finches are nice. Qiqi wants to see finches.”

You think for a moment. “Maybe they are scared of something?”

Qiqi is visibly processing the idea while you look around again, and then up at the sky. On the backdrop of blue, a black silhouette of a bird circles in the sky. You point up at it, and the zombie follows your mark.

“We have our reason. That’s a hawk. Hawks eat finches.”

Qiqi stares up at you. “Ah. Qiqi forgot.”

You pet her head again. “How about we go outside the city? Maybe they will be there?”

She nods. “Yes. Qiqi wants to see finches.”

“Alright then!” You get up, and gently grab her small hand. “Let’s go find you some finches.”

Qiqi stands up too, but she doesn’t move. Instead, you feel her tug at your sleeve. You look down, and find her big pink eyes fixed on you.

“Y/N, carry Qiqi. Qiqi is… tired. Cold.”

You pull her up to your chest, Qiqi wraps her arms around your neck, and you begin your journey.

“Come on Jean. You know you want to~”

The Acting Grandmaster narrows her eyes, arms crossed on her chest. Her stare is unrelenting.

“I shouldn’t let Klee out after what she did. That bomb could have hurt someone.”

You draw the sweetest smile you can manage. “Not even if I keep tabs on her?”

“Not even if you keep tabs on her. She will be out tomorrow.”

Theatrically dropping your head, you sigh. Jean looks on, feeling a little guilty as you make your way to the door. You take the doorknob in your hand, but refrain from pressing it.

“Jean Gunnhildr, the conqueror of children’s smiles, the destroyer of all that is fun.” You look back and look at her with the best puppy eyes you can muster. “Pretty please?”

Jean avoids your eyes, trying to hold back a smile. You’re so silly… She can’t restrain it anymore. She sighs and opens the drawer and pulls out black, metal key. You jog over to her and grab the item, feeling accomplished.

“Just don’t let Klee blow things up. Please. I’m tired of handling the reports.”

She looks at you with tired eyes, practically begging you to listen. Without hesitation, you press a short kiss on her lips. You turn around and leave the flustered, red faced Jean. On your way out, you wave to her.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep the kid on a short leash. And give you plenty of cuddles once you’re home to help you relax.”

You leave, closing the heavy door behind you as silently as you can. Klee’s room, better known as solitary confinement, is guarded by one knight, bored to hell. You wink at him as you slide the key into the keyhole, and turn it.

“Go get a break. You look like you need it.”

You open the door. Klee’s elf ears immediately twitch, and she turns to face you. Much to your surprise, Klee’s wearing her Dodoco pyjama overalls, sewn for her by Noelle. At first she looks grim, but her eyes light up upon seeing you. “Y/N!”

She runs up to you as you close the door. She hugs you, barely reaching your waist. You scratch her head. “What’s up? Is my little grenadier sleepy already?”

Klee shakes her head. “No, but I can’t leave solitary confinement until tomorrow.”

“You look sadder than usual. Did anyone get hurt, Klee? Can you tell me what happened?”

Klee looks down, toying with her fingers. “W-well, I was out blasting fish with Dodoco, but then… um… one of my bombs landed too far and scared Mr. Fisherman. He told Jean and she told me to go to solitary confinement. She said mommy wouldn’t be proud.”

You smirk. Alice wouldn’t mind, judging by how she isn’t bothered by her child handling live explosives. But then again, her parenting methods aren’t that great, seeing as she barely interacts with her own child.

You shake those thoughts and crouch down to be eye level with Klee. “I’m not sure about that. I talked to Jean, and she let me take you outside. You’re up for it?”

Klee’s expression brightened nearly instantly. She clapped her little hands and jumped up and down a few times, ending her joyous outburst with a bear (or rather cub?) hug. You can’t help but giggle with her.

“Yay! Thank you, Y/N!”

“Remember to dress accordingly! It’s quite chilly outside. I wouldn’t want to see you sick, Klee, would I? I bet Dodoco would be really worried too.” You raise up and open the door. “I’ll be waiting outside.”

After putting on one of her warmer outfits and grabbing her backpack (Dodoco included), Klee practically sprints out the door. She finds you smiling brightly, but you shake your head.

“Klee? Where’s your hat? Remember about the scarf as well.”

“Oops… I'll go get it now!"

Thanks for reading!

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animemiscellany · 1 year

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#anime background #vintage anime #retro anime #animecore #90s anime #memories #彼女の想いで #stink bomb

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the-oblivious-writer · 11 months

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Wanna Be Yours |1|

Hermione Granger x Fem!Reader

Chapter One: Pranks & Fifth Year

Notes: Modern AU, Fem!SlytherinReader, any characters you don't recall from the Harry Potter universe are my OC's

Warning(s): None that I'm aware of

Prologue|Next Part

Y/n entered the train when a hand waved her over to a compartment. She entered the compartment where she saw familiar faces. Amelia and Leo were sitting across from each other, Y/n gave a quick 'hello' but then gave a confused expression.

"Where's Raine and Link?" she asked, Amelia rolled her eyes at the mention of the two. "Pranking the first years with Fred and George. Same as always."

Leo scooted closer to the window and left more room for Y/n to sit down. "Judging by the sudden silence, I'm assuming their plan is already in place." Y/n tilted her head back and sighed. "Merlins, do I even want to know what they have planned this time around?"

Leo chuckled slightly as he shook his head,"Why spoil it?" Just as those words left his mouth Lorraine, Fred and George came running in the compartment abruptly. They had their hands on their knees and were out of breath. "I'm assuming something went wrong" Y/n remarked.

Fred was peeking his head around every now and until finally shutting the door.

"Yeah..about that we uh kind of got the wrong compartment" Lorraine said as she took a seat, bunched up next to Y/n as Fred and George stood and avoided the window to the compartment door.

"Wait-" Amelia started looking around, "Where's Link?" Fred, George and Lorraine suddenly looked at each other and back at the girl.

"He kind of decided to take his own road but he's fi-" before George could finish his sentence the compartment door opened. The three pranksters jumped but soon relaxed when they saw that it was only Link. "Merlin's beard, you scared us," Fred said.

"Sorry bout' that mate just had to wait for the coast to be clear before showing my face" Link responded, still taking heavy breaths. "Whose compartment did you get instead?" Amelia asked curiously.

"Draco's who was with Blaise and Theo. We ran before they could even leave their seats" Fred said, slightly laughing as he recalled the memory. "You should have seen their faces when the stink bombs went off" the four started to laugh.

"I swear one of these days, you're gonna get yourselves killed" Leo said as he shook his head.

—

They arrive at Hogwarts and separate when getting to the Great Hall to go to their house tables. Amelia and Y/n sat together at the Slytherin table, Link sat with the Hufflepuffs and Lorraine and Leo sat at the Ravenclaw table. Dumbledore made the same speech he made every year. It was their fifth year, they had gotten used to the same boring words he fed them at the beginning of every year.

Eventually it was time to eat and the Great Hall grew with noise. Y/n sat and ate silently as Amelia spoke with another Slytherin. Y/n wasn't one for making conversation, half the time it felt forced. She kept a small friend group and that was it. Y/n was an anti-social butterfly as her friend called her.

Y/n poked around at her food but couldn't help but feel eyes on her. She looked up to see a Gryffindor girl staring at her, only for the girl to instantly avert her stare. Y/n felt heat rush to her cheeks from being stared at. The Slytherin stared back at her food as her mind kept trailing back to the girl.

Suddenly, Y/n felt a gentle nudge. "You alright?" Amelia asked the girl. Y/n only nodded and turned her head back at her food. Amelia looked at the girl skeptically but didn't want to push and left it at that.

—

Amelia and Y/n made their way to the dungeons when Amelia spoke. "I know you're always spaced out and stuff but you seemed a bit more than usual. Everything okay?"

Y/n thought for a moment. "Yeah it's just..there was this girl who I caught staring and it just caught me off guard I guess." Amelia gave a little smirk which confused Y/n. "What?"

"I think I might know who you're talking about," Amelia replied. "And how is that?" Y/n asked curiously. "Just have a feeling it's the same girl who I've caught staring at you before" Amelia answered as she still held a small smirk.

"And who might that be?" Y/n asked, heat rushing to her cheeks. "Just some girl whom you’ve never spoken to but I have a feeling this year will be different. Considering this is the first time your clueless ass has noticed" Amelia remarked.

Y/n rolled her eyes at the girl's last comment, "Enough playing blue's clues, I'm exhausted." The two girls entered the Slytherin common room and made their way to the dorms.

-----

A/n: Hope you enjoyed that first chapter! Exams are still going on but I'll try to work on a chapter whenever I can

Remember to stay hydrated folks, happy pride and good luck to anybody else who still has exams going on!

#hermione fic #harry potter fanfiction #hermione granger #hermione x fem reader #hermione fanfiction #hermione x reader #hermione x you #hermione granger x reader #wanna be yours #emma watson x reader

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wolfblood-of-anubis · 3 months

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pt. 2 the anubis house kids being demigods would include:

click here for part one

Nina being terrified of her Hades powers

she has a fear of skulls and doesnt like ghosts, for a long time she’s been burying her powers on the inside so she doesn’t really understand them

they’re so underutilized that whenever something does happen, it comes out in bursts, it’s scary and sudden and most of season 1 is her self-acceptance as a child of Hades

season 2 is mainly her trying to figure out a daily life now that she’s trying to embrace/control her powers

Fabian as a child of Athena is nothing new around school. though he’s not the head of his cabin, that’s Mara, he’s fine with it, she’s more of a drill sergeant than him anyway.

Fabian being very knowledgeable about not just their gods, but also different mythology in general. he likes to branch out in learning.

he also can’t help a mystery, he loves solving things, riddles or puzzles, once he’s in there’s no getting him out

while they all read/speak Ancient Greek, he does it better than all of them combined

he also has an astronomy passion

he secretly wants to know about the monsters that dwell in america, all he’s ever seen from the god world are a few woodland nymphs and the occasional satyrs.

he’s met his mother once in his life. unlike their american counterparts, they can’t always head off to new york city once a year to visit mount olympus.

their principal and caretakers have told them they’re welcome to it one day, they would be guided by a satyr for the journey. but they always warn them that there are monsters flooding the US and how dangerous it could be.

no one’s taken them up on the offer.

Amber, daughter of Aphrodite, can be very influential

while not possessing the power of charmspeak, people tend to get very relaxed and lightheaded around her. her easygoing and charming personality seem to make her easy to talk to and have a good time with.

everyone comes to her for dating advice, the same with makeup tips or a shoulder to cry on

Amber is very empathetic to people’s emotions, especially when it comes to love or heartache, she understands how the person feels on a deeper level

Patricia Williamson, daughter of Ares, and head of her cabin during the summer (though against her will)

she’s a born fighter and doesn’t stop when she want to know something or someone’s been wronged

does not get along well with people

her most recent choice of weapon: liquids.

specifically dumping various liquids atop peoples heads for any misdeeds or annoyances they caused her

but she can also make a decent weapon out of anything, from a cell phone to a hair clip to one of Amber’s high heeled shoes

she loves finding old weapons from the years that have been stashed under the house in the tunnels

Alfie Lewis and Jerome Clarke, sons of Hermes and the resident pranksters on campus

they’re also the most annoying on campus

Alfie is also an aspiring magician and the fastest runner in the academy, sprinting like he has wings on his feet (eh?)

he also possess a great memory, only fails to use it in classes. mainly it’s for remembering how to mix certain chemicals together for the smelliest stink bomb one could imagine.

his geography knowledge is not particularly known, but Hermes was also the god of travelers, and Alfie seems to be able to know about their little globe more than anyone they’ve met. even more than the Athena kids.

it surprises no one that his pickpocketing skills improved upon meeting his brother

Jerome Clarke has been at this school since he was five years old, having ran away from home and always regretting leaving behind his little sister Poppy (also a child of Hermes)

Jerome and his sister were the result of a relationship between their father, John Clarke and the god Hermes.

Their stepmother, Joan, was nice but a bit flighty. once John’s crimes caught up to him, suddenly his children felt they were all alone. Joan sent Jerome to boarding school, one they talked about once he’d be older but she decided to get it ahead of time. it wasn’t meant as something negative, at least in her eyes, but she saw the bad influence Jerome would become to Poppy and decided she’d try to raise the girl away from the idea of gods.

it was a useless attempt really. once Poppy would reach the age of thirteen, she’d be in trouble.

England doesn’t have much in unprotected half-bloods. so they don’t have many monsters either. except for a few spread out, and with an unprotected daughter of Hermes, she wouldn’t make it 24 hours.

Jerome himself is the fastest pickpocket there is.

he’s got the mind for growing commerce and how to manipulate it

he’s the most cunning person in the house

the best liar, though ironically because of this, no one believes him when he says the truth

this leads to Alfie, also ironically, becoming the best liar in the house

he likes snakes and is proud of who his dad is

regularly scams people with multiple quick money schemes

they succeed half of the time

more to come soon and more about the staff as well

#house of halfbloods #house of anubis #hoa #nina martin #fabian rutter #patricia williamson #amber millington #jerome clarke #alfie lewis

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d1stract-and-daydream · 2 years

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You Made it Easy(Nikolai Lantsov x F!Inferni!Reader)

Words: 2.7k

Summary: Reader looks back to all the time her life had been entwined with Nikolai's.

It's easy to like Nikolai Lantsov.

You remember the first time you met the golden-haired prince. They tested you for your abilities the same day as your brother. Both Summoners, like your parents. You were 10—bright, curious, and very, very lost. Turns out you've inherited your father’s terrible sense of direction, too.

You bumped into this boy while looking for your way to combat training.

Your brother had already settled himself into the typical Summoner clique, so you often had to wander the halls of the Little Palace alone. The boy had invited you to join in on a prank—till this day you still haven’t figured out who was on the receiving end of those dreadful stink bombs—and the rest is history.

Almost everyone likes Nikolai. Even when they don’t, there’s at least one thing that makes him salvageable in the eyes of the utmost spiteful. For you, that redeemable quality is that he pays attention. To you, to everyone. Even to the guards who frequently patrol the palace. He remembers details about their family. Knows when their birthday is. He never misses yours.

Every year, you can expect a personalized gift from him—usually relating to what you were into in that particular period—and he never disappoints.

One of your favourites: a commissioned painting of a crescent moon gilded by multicolored stars.

“For your collection,” he explained, beaming. You have always loved the night sky, and consider constellations more magical than your ability to control fire.

His gifts littered the shelves in your bedroom and filled up the space in your heart.

“You keep surpassing yourself,” you mentioned to him one day, “If you keep this up, you’ll have to bring me the moon by the time I turn 25.”

You were serious, but all he did was laugh and say, “how else am I going to compensate you for all the times you had to deal with me?”

Your eyebrows arched, lips pursed. There is truth in that. You think back to the multiple times he asked you to light something on fire, calling you his little inferni, like a cute pet name is enough to get you out of punishment. Then he continued — and you remember his words as clear as day — “I'd bring you the moon if I have to.”

How can you not like him? He was the only one to ever make you laugh until you struggled to breathe. When he enters a room, even the dull yellows of the wall become a burst of vivid sunshine. He cares. He notices. Even when you try to hide parts of yourself—the good and the bad, he notices.

You remember the day you received news of your brother’s death. Remember the crushing feeling as the air was punched out of your lungs. Running to a secluded part of the gardens surrounding the Little Palace for a space, any space, to process. No one knew what happened yet, but Nikolai knew. Somehow, he had read your face and figured out what happened. He was by your side as you fell to your knees, your blue Kefta dirtied by soil. You let yourself fall into the crook of his elbow, your tears leaving indigo blobs on his favourite pale blue jacket.

Even after that—weeks, months after—he’ll still drop whatever he was doing to pull you aside and whisper “you okay?” when he’d catch your eyes glazed over by a memory.

As much as he was there for you—you were there for him, too.

You recall days of toiling under the sun together on Dominik’s family farm. Mitkin’s approach to getting Nikolai to behave still angers you to this day, but it brought Dominik into your lives.

That day, the infamous duo becomes a trio, although the number of shenanigans has dwindled. You have no qualms about it though, as you spent more and more time with Nikolai—and as you grew older—the amount of gossip concerning the nature of your friendship with him had grown too. You hated the idea of having to be separated from him because of a couple of blabbermouths, so you were relieved the day the universe introduced Dominik to the both of you. Plus, you can always count on him to pull the reins on Nikolai every now and then. You know, for when his hands are itching for some trouble.

You often reminisce about that one snowy day during the feast of Sankt Nikolai. Nikolai claimed that the celebration was for him, and thus the three of you were to put on your best disguise so you can explore the towns like normal kids with normal lives. Dominik was reluctant, saying that he didn’t want to be the third wheel, but you told him it was more like being bodyguards to the prince with a penchant for mischief. Nikolai treated you and Dom to all the sweets you can eat, so it was worth having to babysit him. That day ended with the three of you in the palace garden, huddled by a bonfire and scaring each other with made-up ghost stories.

Alas—your trio didn’t last. Vasily caught you returning from the farm on one fine evening and—despite your effort in trying to convince him that it was your idea—they barred Dominik from ever entering the palace ever again. It didn’t stop you or Nikolai from going out of your way to help Dominik and his family, though you can definitely feel the space in your friendship when he left.

The year he went away with Dominik to serve in the First Army, you recalled nights of ink-stained fingers. Exchanged letters piled up in your night desk drawer. The emptiness was growing too rapidly for the letters to fill. You missed him. You yearn for his presence, his laugh, the glint in his eyes when he’s thinking of something devious. He was your best friend—your oldest friend. You kept his scribbly I wish you were heres tucked neatly into your brain, and pulled it out whenever you needed a reason to keep going. But it was not enough. It was never enough.

You put in a request to be stationed at the camp right before the Sikurzoi, hoping for a distraction. That year, both you and Nikolai experienced the trauma of battle. You lose someone as easily as you met them. Eventually, you grow weary of forming new connections, and each loss adds an extra layer of brick to your walls. It’s true what they say, war changes you. You both stopped writing to each other after news of Dominik’s death. Your days were busy witnessing destruction.

Every day, you woke up with dread, eyes and ears attuned to any conversation regarding him. You realised that you were trying to prepare yourself for the worst, for news of the death of Ravka’s beloved prince. It was the loneliest moment of your life.

When the Darkling terrorized Ravka, you knew you had to go back and help protect Os Alta soon. That’s what you have trained for, anyway. You’ve also heard the words that Nikolai Lantsov has returned. Following the news,you arrange for a carriage back as soon as you can, eager to return to your warm bed in the little palace—and to Nikolai. There are so many things you wanted to tell him. The breathtaking views of the mountain. The back pain you develop from sleeping on hard ground. The blood on your hands. The nightmares. Then you stop yourself. What if Nikolai had forgotten about you?

On your third day back, you didn’t expect to see Nikolai—you were sure that he was too busy playing house with the Sun Summoner—still with that shine in his eyes. He looks a little battle-hardened, but the rest of his personality seemed intact. You approached him with small hesitant steps, ready to turn around just in case your presence was intruding.

He turned to you, and his lopsided smile waters the garden in you that you thought was long dead. How did he do that?

Still, a part of you was a little mad that he didn’t return immediately after his service in the army ended. You waited for him, expecting his return—even started writing back to him again—and all you got was silence. The least he could do was send you a pigeon.

You gave him a small smile, not sure how to emote the tumultuous feelings he stirred within you.

“Not happy to see me?” He asked. You opened your mouth to answer, and suddenly all those months of pushing shit down resurfaces. He was always there, and then he wasn’t. You thought he was your friend, but he left you hanging. Not a single word in 3 years. You thought he was dead. Tears threatened to spill, and you retreated away from Nikolai’s open arms. “Sweetheart?” Nikolai called out to you, his voice dampened by your shallow breathing.

You ran, as quick as your legs could go, and before realising it, found that you had returned to that very same place where Nikolai had first comforted you. Only at that moment, you were sure no one was going to be there for you. You were on your knees once more, and this time you had planned to crawl into the earth beneath you and let it swallow you whole. The screams of the enemy and your fellow soldiers threaten to pull you apart limb by limb when you feel arms encircling you in a tight embrace. You registered Nikolai’s smell — that woodsy scent that you have always found comforting — hung onto it like it was your lifeline, convinced that you would crumble into ashes if you were to let him go.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered. You remembered feeling droplets on your hair. “I should not have left you alone.”

You still smile when you recall him stroking your cheeks, calloused hands gentle against your skin. You replay that day again and again to ground yourself instead of letting your past gnaw at your sanity. Turns out, falling in love with Nikolai is as easy as liking him.

You made a promise to always be there for each other no matter what hell you were going through. You supported him as he aimed to prove his worthiness for the Ravkan throne. “The country needs saving,” he declared, on one starless night, when you were both by the lake, cheeks warmed by Ravkan liquor. You nodded in reply, but to tell the truth, you were way more focused on the way the light from your flames bounced in his eyes—making them seem more golden than green. Your hands flex involuntarily, wanting to trace his jaw with your fingers, and you lick your lips at the thought of tasting the liquor from his. You regretted not doing that when you had the chance.

The both of you fought for your country together with what’s left of the Grisha. You let him hide his face in your arms when he felt that he failed to protect his people from another attack. He lost Vasily. Lost his soldiers. Lost Ravkan lives, and that hit him the hardest. You told him it was not his fault—that he didn’t plan for an ambush to happen. He can’t save everyone. You know very well that when people depend their lives on you, every death takes its toll on your humanity. So you made sure to always be there for Nikolai, side by side, just as you did many years ago.

One memory you hold dear to you is the night Nikolai invited you for a test run aboard the Kingfisher. It was your first time being so high up in the sky, and your heart still flutters when you remember the feel of Nikolai’s warm hand on the small of your back, rubbing small circles of reassurance. “I wanted to bring the stars closer to you,” he told you, and you remember your heart thumping in your ears, feeling your insides swell until something was about to burst. This is why loving Nikolai is so easy.

You were there to witness the Darkling infecting him with his nichevo’ya, watching as his eyes go from brilliant hazel to an abyss black. Like Alina, you believed that he could still be saved, and you never once gave up hope.

“Your side, always,” you had told him time and time again, and each time he'd reply with a straight “Always.”

That had been the essence of your relationship with him, a friendship that can last a lifetime.

Still, you had to brace yourself with the idea of losing him—but you were a soldier. You’ve dealt with loss before. You had no time to grieve then, and you planned to push all that down until after the Darkling had been defeated. That was how you had always dealt with it when there was no one there. But Nikolai had always been as lucky as he was resourceful, and he somehow managed to return to his country unscathed.

One night—sometime after the Fold had been destroyed—you woke up to strangled breathing on the side of your bed. You strike your flint to light up your room and discover a ghastly creature: black eyes, talons, and ripped wings, staring at you. Then you realize—it was Nikolai. The nichevo’ya hasn’t left him. You send a ball of flame big enough to scare him away and go down immediately to report your findings to Zoya.

Nikolai did not take the discovery well. Little by little, he retreated further away from you and trusted Zoya to attend to him. You tried to talk to him, and offer him comfort, but he busied himself with so many events that it’s hard to even get any time to ask him about it. You wanted to tell him that you weren't scared of him. That first night, you were more terrified of losing him than losing your life. Every time you passed by each other, the confident persona Nikolai had adopted around his people wavered. He stood tall still—he is a king, after all, but he never looked directly at you. You can tell by then that things will never go back to the way it was.

You were reconciled by the fact that he has the Triumvirate to help him, and since you looked up to Zoya, you believed that he was in capable hands. He will talk to you if he’s ready.

In the meantime, you have once again requested to be stationed somewhere away from Os Alta. Zoya came to you one day with a proposition, sending you off to Fjerda undercover to help the Hringsa with their plans. You accepted the assignment, knowing full well the danger that will follow. Still, you thought it was better this way instead of waiting around the little palace for Nikolai to come to his senses.

You watch as Zoya leaves his chambers every night, wanting to claw the pain away from your chest. You knew she was there to chain him up and keep the creature from escaping at night, but how can your heart possibly tell the difference?

Two days before you left for Fjerda, you locked yourself in your room to pen Nikolai a heartfelt letter. Tried your best to tell him how thankful you were for all those years of warmth and friendship, and that you were sorry if you ever did anything wrong. You considered scraping it off when you see your words smudged over by tears, but found that it’s quite a fitting look for a goodbye letter. You went back and forth between wanting to tell him how you felt about him or omitting that part entirely so you won’t have to embarrass yourself. In the end, you settled for a measly paragraph, head swarming with too many thoughts to keep it coherent. He’ll understand. Or not. You’re not so sure anymore.You had planned to tell him about your feelings in person one day — but it seems like that day will never arrive. Certainly not now, not ever, when it seems like something deeper is blooming between him and Zoya. The lingering stares. Unspoken words. Moments too intimate for it to be just friends. You understand. Your heart feels like it is stabbed by jagged daggers, but you understand. It’s so easy to fall in love with Nikolai Lantsov. The only hard part is, however, watching Nikolai fall in love with someone else.

A/N: Made a new tumblr to post fics. This was initially a one-shot of friends to unrequited love but I don't like sad endings so here I am at 2 am plot lining a fic that follows Nikolai and reader(but I'll make it OC) while she's in Fjerda.

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #grishaverse #zoya nazyalensky #shadow and bone #the grishaverse #shadow and bone netflix #sab #leigh bardugo #darkling shadow and bone

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