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#me? writing something????? unbelievable!
toshidou · 6 months
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*giggles nefariously*
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camellia-thea · 2 months
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sometimes you reread something you've written and go "hmm. that explains a lot about me actually"
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Headcanons and short drabbles for my BSD Fix-it AU
!Contains Spoilers for the whole DoA arc!
TWs: Mentions of OCD, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of crying, mentions of slight gun violence, mentions of screaming, mentions of heavy injuries, mentions of medical related stuff (p.ex.infirmaries), mentions of chronic pain 
All characters might be ooc.
Pairings: Shin Soukoku, Bramcraft, at first Ranpoe and implied developing Mushiranpoe,later mentioned Mushiranpoe, Chuusigzai, lightly implied past!Fyozai (it’s up to interpretation if romantically or platonically but it’s written more in a platonic way), implied Tachihigugin, Fyolai, engaged!Suegiku, Montcott
The ADA managed to defeat Fukuchi and obtained the page
Fyodor and Nikolai got away though.
The moment Sigma wanted to shoot Fyodor, Nikolai appeared next to Fyodor through one of his overcoat portals and pulled the other with him through it. 
It did send Sigma into a panic attack and Dazai too got nervous because of this but as soon as the ADA managed to obtain the page, he got a lot calmer and told Atsushi to write that Fyodor loses his ability on the page, knowing that it not only would send the russian into several existence crises but also knowing that the chance that he would try to erase all ability users would become much lower then. 
Dazai knew Fyodor for years and he knew how much his ability tortured him since his early childhood. He knew that Punishment plagued him and took over a lot. 
Fyodor’s ability was strong and was just as intelligent as the one who wielded it so that his ability slowly but surely started to affect his mind a lot wasn’t unexpected. 
When Dazai touched Fyodor for the first time years ago, the other basically melted into his touch after Dazai touched him despite his threats that he would kill the other if he would dare to touch him. 
The heavy weight of Punishment, the sharp and piercing feeling of the powerful ability raging inside of him whenever he felt threatened as well as its influence on his mind faded to nothing for the first time in his life.
When they met again, Dazai was almost sure that Punishment affected the other’s mind completely since he had gotten more cruel and heartless but also because he worked so tirelessly on his goal to erase all ability users so now he was almost completely sure that erasing only Fyodor’s ability would stop the other.
He was right. Upon feeling his ability fading away until it was completely gone, Fyodor went, just like Dazai expected, through a whole existence crises
With his ability fading, Fyodor also slowly gained full consciousness over his mind again and fully realized what had happened, even though he couldn’t remember events where Punishment had taken over his consciousness nearly completely.
After everything, the russian spent weeks in his bed, not only recovering from his physical injuries he had from their prison escape game but also because his mind struggled to process the fact that Punishment was gone and that he was only Fyodor now. No Crime. No Punishment. No vessel for Punishment. Just Fyodor. 
He also had to process the fact that he gained full consciousness again and had to deal with all the guilt because of what happened which was eating him up alive for quite some time.
The one who took care of him the whole time was no other than Nikolai. 
Nikolai who had put his clown attire away by now. Nikolai, who violently shook Fyodor after saving him, screaming at him for not getting out of his mind and for stopping him from being free, screaming that he hated him so much. Nikolai who had held a gun to Fyodor’s head, hand shaking before dropping the gun, letting his friend go and kneeling in front of him, sobbing. Nikolai who slowly learned to accept that he loved Fyodor and who slowly tried to believe that he could be free together with Fyodor.
He knew that Fyodor returned his feelings but he also knew that Fyodor waited until Nikolai had everything sorted out.
And Fyodor did wait. He waited patiently and eventually, when Nikolai was ready and both got more stable as well as used to their new quiet life, living undercover and when Fyodor was physically fully and mentally partly recovered, they got together in one cold winter night.
Their relationship was beautiful actually and it was based on mutual deep understanding and a bond which already started to form when they both met while living on the streets in the Ukraine as young teens.
Dazai was still secretly searching for the whereabouts of Fyodor and Nikolai for nearly two years, despite knowing that it was nearly impossible to find the russian if he didn’t wanted to be found, scared that his plan didn’t carry out exactly as he hoped that it would but after nearly four years passed, he was almost completely sure that the rat and his clown wouldn’t try to start a war again. 
Sigma and Bram joined the ADA
Sigma’s entrance actually started with the elevator crashing down and he passed it by staying on Dazai’s and the ADA’s side, nearly managing to shoot Fyodor, instead of running away or going back to the Decay of Angels. 
Bram on the other hand, kind of had to stay with the ADA but he actually didn’t  mind.
Aya begged the agency not to kill Bram and eventually they gave in and gave Bram an entrance exam for multiple reasons, one of them being that he can’t be on his own, slashed in half like this but also that if they would pull out the sword, he would have no control over his ability, just like he told Aya so they somehow needed to keep his ability at bay.
After Bram passed the entrance exam and managed to prove his good motives, which wasn’t that hard for him since he never wanted to cause a vampire outbreak to happen and got forced into biting people/since he joined the DoA against his own will,  Dazai touched the sword, nullifying it, so that they could pull out the sword without hurting Bram any further. 
With the sword out of him, he was able to regenerate his body in a matter of a few days.
At first he even refused to Dazai touching it, scared that his ability might lash out completely like he had told Aya but Fukuzawa’s ability kept his vampirism at bay and allowed him to control it much better
By now he has a full body again and can make his own decisions again without being bound to anyone but he still has to use a cane since after not walking/not even having a full body for literal centuries he still struggles with walking and kind of has to relearn it.
He also has to relearn how to use his hands for the exact same reasons. 
However, he can also transform into a large bat again so he usually chills, hanging upside down from the ceiling or hanging upside down on the side of Sigma’s desk, sleeping in his bat form. (Sigma put a little metal bar on the side of his desk specifically for Bram.)
Sigma and Bram kind of get along pretty well. They already got along back when they were both in the DoA but could barely talk/get to know each other since they barely saw each other outside of the meetings of the organization. 
Besides this, Sigma was nearly always busy in his casino and Bram was very well hidden and most of the time guarded by Fukuchi in some way. 
Fukuchi got defeated completely.
The Hunting Dogs had to go under police investigation but after they were proven to be innocent and to be not involved with the DoA, they got a new leader. They couldn’t split the Hunting Dogs up since they would die without the operations.
Jounou and Tecchou got engaged a few months after the war against the DoA.
Atsushi brought Bram and Aya to Dazai where he could touch the vampire, nullifying his ability and turning the people who had been turned into vampires back into humans. 
Yosano saved multiple lives that day since the injuries which some people had before they got turned into a vampire returned shortly after they were fully human again. 
Upon seeing Akutagawa again, alive, healthy and fully human again, Atsushi thought he wouldn’t believe his eyes at first but only a couple of seconds later after standing there like frozen, staring at the other, Atsushi dashed forwards, tackle-hugging Akutagawa with such a strength and with such a speed that he knocked both of them over so that they both fell on the floor. 
Atsushi hugged Akutagaw so tightly that the other heard he would hear his ribs crack before Atsushi sat up a bit, yelling at Akutagawa for being so stupid for sacrificing himself for Atsushi and asking if if he could imagine how it felt to fight against him as a mindless vampire.
He really tried not to cry but he failed. Miserably.
When he tackle-hugged Akutagawa for the first time, tears where already in the corner of his eyes and upon feeling the other again, hearing him breathe and smelling the familiar faint smell of tea like which the other nearly always smelled, he couldn’t stop the tears from falling and it got worse when he was yelling at Akutagawa but that didn’t stop him from doing so.
Akutagawa just listened to him quietly (it drove Atsushi a bit crazy to be completely honest)
Eventually Atsushi actually talked himself that much in rage, that he ended up confessing accidentally to Akutagawa which caused him to shut up immediately staring shocked at Akutagawa who looked at him with wide eyes too, before hectically trying to scramble away and get up to give Akutagawa space since he was nearly completely sure that the other was disgusted now but Akutagawa actually grabbed him before he could get up fully and pulled him back so that he lied on top of him again before hugging him, telling him that he felt the same causing Atsushi to start to sob all over again. 
Akutagawa lied there with a faint smile, slowly rubbing the bag of the other and he would never admit it but he too, had watery eyes
Normally he would have never reacted like this or would have shown such a soft side of him but after what happened, even he couldn’t stay as cold as usual
Soukoku watched them with little smiles on their faces, how they continued to lie on the floor curled up together in a tight hug, talking quietly about everything.
Fyodor’s downfall actually started with underestimating Soukoku’s bond and with sending Chuuya to Dazai in order to kill the latter without realizing that Chuuya was already long out of his vampire state. 
Chuuya was the one who carried Dazai out of the hallway to a safe place, who did first aid on Dazai who was heavily injured from the elevator crash and who guarded him until everything was over.
Dazai managed to snap Chuuya out of the vampire state by nearly making him and Fyodor drown (it was actually part of a big plan c of Dazai which was the plan he would have to use in the worst case. That Chuuya got turned into a vampire wasn’t his first plan but it was included in one of his “worst case” plans.)
Chuuya punched him hard later for nearly drowning him and saying such things before he “drowned” but upon noticing that Dazai was sticking extremely close to him and refused to leave his side the whole time and also upon seeing that he was truly shaken up too (no matter how hard he tried to mask it), he just sighed and hugged his partner. 
They stayed like that, quietly hugging each other and Dazai basically clinging to Chuuya, holding onto him and hugging him so tightly that Chuuya struggled to breathe for a moment and he buried his face in the redheads crook of the neck for a long time
Later, they would never talk about the fact that Dazai was shaking like crazy during the first time of their embrace but when Chuuya realized it he just slowly started to rub the younger's back and buried his face in the others brown messy locks. They didn’t need any words at that moment.
Dazai became even clingier to Chuuya than he was before.
Ranpo and Yosano would stick close together and also stick close to Fukuzawa for the next months, not wanting to get separated for longer than a day.
Yosano would never forget the sight of seeing Fukuzawa and Ranpo lying unconsciously on the ground, bleeding out from stab wounds. 
She stayed at their side until they woke up again after she had healed them.
After they woke up again, she tried to appear put together and greeted them with a relieved smile which quickly turned into a wobbly smile after she heard Ranpo complaining about his head hurting and about starting to complain about the fact that they didn’t listen to him in the first place. 
He quickly stopped complaining after he noticed that Yosano had gone quiet and after Fukuzawa noticed her teary eyes, he asked her to come to him. Of course she did so and he pulled her into a tight hug. 
It was the first time in years that Yosano cried. 
Ranpo started to complain about getting left out so Yosano huffed out a laugh and pulled him into a bone crushing hug too.
While Fukuzawa and Ranpo were allowed to leave her infirmary the same day, the people who had been turned into vampires had to stay for a bit longer. Some of them only woke up days later.
The reason why they had to stay a bit longer was because despite Yosano successfully healing them and despite vampirism getting nullified, they felt worn out and exhausted and seemed to recover much slower. Even after a month the most still had to take things slow since their bodies quickly started to feel worn out and they often felt exhausted from doing the smallest things. After some months went by, the symptoms got lesser and lesser though. 
Yosano had asked Bram if they could turn into vampires again but Bram told her that this was impossible.
As soon as Yosano allowed people to visit people in the infirmary again, Poe and Mushitarou were next to Ranpo’s bed.
Poe basically refused to leave Ranpo’s side and held his hand tightly. 
Mushitarou stood next to Poe with a little smile on his face. 
Mushitarou had started to slowly get along a bit more with the detective but they couldn’t really hang out since Ranpo had been in fighting against the DoA with the others while Poe acted as a supporter from the back rows. 
However, he got a lot closer with the writer, after all, he lived with him. 
As soon as they’ve gotten the information that Ranpo had gotten injured by Fukuchi and was now being healed by Yosano, Poe nearly fell into a panic hole and it was Mushitarou who carefully took the phone out of Poe’s hand, saying that they would come over in a minute, before he hung up and started to calm the writer down who already struggled to breathe evenly and had shaking hands. 
He wasn’t as good at it as Ranpo was but surprisingly he was able to calm the other down in no time.
Now, standing next to Poe, next to Ranpo’s bed, he did felt strangely relieved that the detective was fine and seeing Poe babbling about how scared he was as well as scolding Ranpo for being so reckless while Ranpo patted the others head and squeezed his hand, telling him to calm down, his heart felt weirdly warm upon seeing them like that.
The ADA actually threw a huge celebration party over two whole days to celebrate their victory over Fukuchi and the DoA. It was an even greater celebration than when they won against the guild
When Lucy finally saw her girlfriend Louisa at that party again, she basically dropped everything she was holding and ran to her, pulling her in a bone crushing hug.
Louisa was a bit startled at first but then giggled and hugged Lucy back, burying her face in the crook of the other woman's neck.
Lucy would never admit it but she did in fact cry a little bit upon finally being able to hold Louisa again and upon seeing that she was healthy and alive. 
The two would stick close together for the rest of the evening. 
Lucy also proceeded to kiss Louisa’s scar which she had from Nathaniel’s attack, telling her that she still looked beautiful with it.
Bram was able to reunite with Lovecraft. 
The two of them had been in a relationship back in the medieval era but after Bram got sliced in half and got taken away like a trophy, Lovecraft had been unable to find him again for centuries and when he found him again, he had already been in the hands of Fukuchi. 
All that Lovecraft wanted, was to free Bram from Fukuchi but he knew that Fukuchi would use Bram against Lovecraft, hurting Bram even more in the process and the last thing Lovecraft wanted, was to make Bram suffer even more than he already had to so he couldn’t do anything beside staying close to the vampire and following them wherever Fukuchi took him. 
The time where Bram had been on the ship had been hell for Lovecraft. He stayed underwater, underneath the ship where he was forced to listen to how Fukuchi treated Bram, how Bram tried to refuse biting people and how tired, hollow and exhausted the voice of his partner sounded. 
Lovecraft wanted to sink the ship oh 8so bad, dragging Fukuchi down with it and killing him underwater and taking Bram with him, since Fukuchi was defenseless against him there. The world underwater was Lovecraft’s world, his element and a mere human was defenseless against him there but he knew that there was a risk that Bram got injured if he really did so and he didn’t wanted to risk that so he was forced to stay underneath the ship, hoping that one day he was able to get Bram back. 
When Bram saw Lovecraft again, he froze and stared at the black haired man with wide eyes. 
He was sure that he would never see Lovecraft again, that he had lost him forever. 
Bram had never stopped thinking and dreaming about the other but he didn’t even dare to hope that he would see him again. 
Lovecraft didn’t look any different than he remembered him. He wore different and more modern clothes and he looked more tired and worn out than before but beside that he still looked exactly how he remembered it.
It didn’t took long until Lovecraft noticed that someone stared at him and when he spotted Bram, he too froze for a moment.
He only managed to say the other’s name before ran towards him, using a bit of his vampire abilities to move faster. However, he tripped shortly before he reached Lovecraft due to his legs giving out but Lovecraft quickly catched him and hugged him.
He held him so carefully as if he would hurt him if he hugged him any tighter.
He had always been careful with Bram since the vampire always nearly felt as fragile as a human in Lovecraft’s arms, despite being an immortal being and since Lovecraft was well aware of his strength he was always careful when touching Bram but now he seemed to touch him even more careful than before. 
Bram however, hugged him as tight as he could, burning his face in the other’s shirt and closing his eyes. 
Nobody saw the tears which escaped his eyes. Only Lovecraft could feel them and only he felt that Bram was shaking slightly. 
Lovecraft on the other hand, was still trying to process that he finally was able to hold Bram again and that Bram was okay. 
After a couple of moments he buried his face in the others long gray hair and closed his eyes as well. They didn’t need any words. It has always been like this. 
They stood like this, hugging each other for a long time and even afterwards, they would stick together. 
Lovecraft would always visit Bram whenever he could and they also started to meet up at night again. Usually Bram would fly down to the harbor where he met Lovecraft. Then they would talk for hours again, like they did back when they first met. They would talk and sleep, holding each other. They would dance and sometimes they would just sit somewhere, watching the night sky and remiscene about the old times. 
Bram often thinks about his kins and his family. After all, he is the only vampire who survived and who is now walking freely around on earth again. He misses them greatly and often he blames himself for not being able to defend them. 
Lovecraft is always there for him when the thoughts get too dark.
Sigma is allowed to carry a gun with him constantly.
He is also practicing to use his ability more precisely and is training to use his ability in order to overwhelm enemies through flooding their mind with so much information that they pass out.
He often gets paired with Atsushi when they go on missions.
They both spend a lot of time together and they became best friends. 
 When Atsushi saw that Sigma was alive, he nearly cried. The “death” of Sigma would leave his mind and he mourned about the death of the other, despite not really knowing him so when he saw him again, he couldn’t believe his eyes before he ran over to him, telling him how relieved he was to see him alive and well. 
Sigma was completely caught off guard at first. Nobody ever was so glad about seeing that he was fine. In all his years with the DoA he was merely a replaceable tool and this boy was nearly crying out of relief and happiness upon seeing him again despite not really knowing anything about him.
It made Sigma feel warm inside and his heart felt like it got squished but in a good way. It was the first time he wondered if this is what “home” felt like. 
Later he asked how he could ever thank Atsushi for his kindness. He showed him back at the sky casino but to his surprise, the other didn’t want anything and told him that he’s just happy that Sigma is fine. 
By now, Sigma, Atsushi, Lucy and Kyouka often spend time together. Sometimes they visit Lucy at the Café, sometimes they go shopping together, sometimes they go and get Crépes together and sometimes they just talk for a while at the office of the ADA.
Sigma and Atsushi both judge Dazai’s shinegans.
Sigma got together with Chuuya and Dazai some time after the war against the DoA.
Chuuya and Dazai were already a couple for years but after the events in Meursault, they also got together with Sigma. 
Dazai already started falling for Sigma early into the events of Meursault while Sigma slowly started falling for Dazai after the latter saved them from drowning. 
Chuuya already started to admire Sigma when he saw Sigma aiming the gun at Fyodor’s head, showing true strength and bravery and it didn’t take long until they both fell for each other after meeting too. 
However Sigma was a bit intimidated by Chuuya at first so it took him a bit longer to warm up to Chuuya. 
They love each other deeply and while Sigma and Chuuya would die for Dazai even though they would never admit it, Dazai would live for them.
However, Dazai is also still getting used to receiving this much genuine love and affection from two people. 
Sigma is also still slowly getting used to being treated like a human being instead of a tool/ is still getting used to not getting used the whole time and also to finally having not one but two places he can call home (the ADA and Dazai and Chuuya). 
During the first time after the war against the DoA, Dazai had to use a wheelchair for a long time after crashing down with the elevator, breaking his legs in several places and breaking other bones as well.
After months, he could walk a bit again and started to use forearm crutches as soon as he could walk for longer periods of time again. 
Eventually he only used one forearm crutch.
He had to keep using a forearm crutch for years.
After a long time, he used a cane instead.
He already struggled with chronic back pain from a failed suicide attempt where he fell on his back, injuring his spine and since he didn’t seeked help from Yosano until months later, the spine healed more badly than anything which is why it now often hurts and cracks, making sitting straight hurt like hell after some time and the serval injuries he had after falling down with the elevator added more chronic pain and his legs couldn’t support his weight fully anymore without hurting like crazy until years later. The pain never fully faded though.
He hated needing the help of others but slowly he started to allow it. 
Kunikida has to practice things like tying his hair into a ponytail, braiding his hair, tying his shoes and writing again because his new hands are still weak and very shaky. 
It caused him multiple breakdowns already due to feeling utterly useless, especially now that he can neither do a lot of paperwork or use his ability as fast and often as before.
Dazai and Ranpo are the only ones who know about Kunikida struggling. 
Dazai actually helps Kunikida when his mental health is particularly bad again and helps him to calm down when he finds him locked in one of the toilet stalls in the bathroom of the ADA again, breaking down on particularly bad days when his hands were shaking so much again that he couldn’t do anything which required precise hand movements. 
Previously, Kuniikida would check on Dazai every evening to see if the other was fine and if he had eaten anything. Now it’s Dazai’s turn to check on his partner regularly. 
At first Kunikida hated it, but slowly he started to accept the support and help from Dazai.
Dazai, Kunikida, Chuuya and Sigma regularly meet up somewhere during weekends to spend some time together. Most of the time, they just talk about work and about life but sometimes they watch movies together at Chuuya’s apartment which he shares with Dazai and Sigma. 
 After Sigma and Kunikida got to know each other through their work at the ADA, they started to get along pretty well and Chuuya and Kunikida got along well anyway. They love to rant about work and about Dazai’s bs while drinking expensive wine. 
Sigma sometimes bakes cookies for the whole ADA.
Fukuzawa refused to exchange any of the ADA members with Mori after he found out about the lie he told Yosano. 
He was furious. 
He knew that it would have consequences but for now he didn’t worry about it. 
Sigma’s OCD and his panic disorder which he developed during his time with the DoA got even worse after the war against the DoA. 
He never told anyone about it and normally he was able to hide his compulsions, his panic and the distress which came from not performing compulsions very well but during the first time after the DoA was defeated, everything got even harder to hide. 
Dazai noticed him writing a word on a word document over and over again, deleting it before writing it again and noticed how Sigma grew more and more distressed. He didn’t confront him about it right then at the crowded office of the ADA but he instead asked him if he could help him with something to snap him out of the thought spiral. 
At home, he confronted Sigma about it, and while Sigma at first panicked, eventually he told Dazai about it.
By now, both Chuuya and Dazai support and help Sigma whenever his fear and his OCD get too much for him. 
The Hunting Dogs came personally to the ADA to apologize for everything they did as well as for believing that they were guilty. 
Tecchou also apologized less formally and more emotionally to Yosano and thanked her again for saving Jounou’s life. After all, they had wanted to execute her so he would have understood it, if she would have refused to help them.
Kenji was thrilled to finally meet this friend Tecchou talked about and he cheerfully greeted Jounou, telling him that he was happy that Jounou was okay and also telling him that Tecchou had been worried sick about him and that he was even willing to place Jounou above justice which was obviously so dear to him. (You must be really good friends then! :D)
Upon hearing this, Jounou just smiled at Tecchou who looked away,  a tiny bit embarrassed. 
Of course Jounou already knew about what happened and he had already scolded Tecchou for nearly 15 minutes for placing him above justice and his mission and for also nearly killing a whole child in his blind rage. 
He can’t deny that his cheeks had been a dark red shade upon hearing this though.
Teruko and Sigma stay far away from each other though and Tachihara keeps a respectful distance to the former casino manager too, knowing that Sigma probably never forgives them for making his casino fall from the sky, killing everyone in it but he understands it.
 That Sigma doesn’t even want to look at Teruko, whether it’s because of the guilt he feels or because of the fact that they killed the people he viewed as his family, is fully justified. At least in Tachihara’s eyes.
The Hunting Dogs now are always there to help the ADA if they would ever need more help with a case or with fighting against an enemy. 
Tachihara stayed with the Hunting Dogs but he still meets up with the Black Lizard regularly and he actually lives with Gin and Higuchi.  
Sometimes he meets up with the Black Lizard and with Chuuya at the bar to which they always went to drink and chat for the whole night like in the old times. 
There is no bad blood at all and all enjoy their meetings greatly. 
He sometimes misses his time at the Port Mafia but as long as he can meet up with them, it's alright. 
He couldn’t leave the Hunting Dogs either. 
Both, Port Mafia and Hunting Dogs are like a family to him so he tries his best, to connect both worlds as best as he can. 
At Home, with Higuchi and Gin, they don’t talk about their jobs anyways. There it is just them. No Port Mafia and no Hunting Dogs unless there is really something someone needs to talk about with their partners/unless there is something someone wants to get off their chest.
Dazai still has awful nightmares about the events at the Meursault Prison. 
Sigma also suffers from night terrors about the same events.
When Dazai wakes up from one of those nightmares again, he usually directly checks if Chuuya and Sigma are still there with him, listens to their breathing and to Chuuya’s little snores as he calms down. 
Sometimes he gets out of their bed and goes into the kitchen or the living room where he sits on the couch, staring holes in the air or staring at the ceiling while he tries to calm his racing mind down. 
Most of the time, Chuuya and Sigma wake up shortly after Dazai left the bed though and grow alarmed immediately, causing them to get out of bed in no time and to search for their boyfriend.
After they found him, Chuuya usually can tell directly what is going on and they comfort him and gently urge him to come back to bed with them.
Sigma reacts much differently than Dazai. 
He often dreams about the DoA, about Fyodor, about his casino or about falling down from the casino but most of the time, he dreams about the elevator which is crashing down with a rapid speed, with Dazai still in it. 
Those dreams are often bloody and horrifying and Sigma often wakes up screaming for Dazai, hyperventilating and crying. 
Chuuya and Dazai always calm him down and are there for him. All three of them are awful at comforting but it works for them.
Most of the time, Dazai hugs Sigma, rubs his back or gently saws back and forth while Chuuya is verbally trying to comfort him and holds his hands, caressing the back of them and assures Sigma that he’s safe here with them and that they are okay. 
They also help Sigma to calm his breathing again and gently prevent him from tugging at his hair/pulling at his hair since it’s something Sigma does when he is stressed, scared or panicking. 
They also always let Sigma talk about his nightmare and look out that his panic won’t get worse again. 
Dazai also always lets Sigma feel his pulse, knowing that this can calm Sigma down more than anything. 
He always regulates his heart beat to a calming, slow one too to calm Sigma down more when he feels his pulse.
When Sigma feels better again and Chuuya gently urges him to try to sleep again, knowing how exhausted Sigma is after the panic attack and assuring him that they won’t leave his side. 
They often lie curled up together in one big cuddle pile then, Sigma lying between them and both hugging him. 
Chuuya and Dazai often quietly talk about everything when Sigma fell asleep again. 
Dazai always stops Sigma and Chuuya from overworking themselves since both tend to do so due to Chuuya’s workaholic tendencies and due to Sigma’s anxiety and perfectionism.
Ranpo scolds the whole ADA for multiple hours that they didn’t listen to him in regards to the DoA case and brings it up over and over again.
He basically won’t let anyone forget that he warned them and that they wouldn’t listen to him.
The agency is now much more careful with accepting cases and Fukuzawa wouldn’t let anyone who was still recovering, no matter if mentally or physically, go on any more dangerous/more shady cases for the first time until they were fully recovered again. 
Ranpo moved into Poe’s mansion as well and now lives with Poe and Mushitarou. 
Mushitarou actually got together with Poe and Ranpoe after a while. 
He’s the happiest he’s been since quite a while. 
Aya often visits the ADA after school.
Fukuzawa thanked her and Lucy for their support and their selfless actions to support the ADA during the vampirism outbreak.
Bram only rarely has to go to investigate a case with others. Most of the time he is sleeping somewhere in the office. 
Now Kunikida has to scold two for sleeping/lazing around at the office during working hours.
Dazai is again trying to get Atsushi to do his paperwork, driving Kunikida crazy. 
However, when Dazai sees that Kunikida is struggling again, he sometimes snatches some papers from the stack on Kunikida’s desk and actually does a bit of Kunikida’s paperwork for him. 
At first Kunikida told him to stop but eventually he just let Dazai help him. He couldn’t stop him from doing so in any way since if Dazai really wanted to do something, there was no way of stopping him and deep inside he was thankful for Dazai’s help. 
Dazai shows Bram the most weird songs to exist.
Surprisingly, the truce between the ADA and the PM is still on going but Dazai and Chuuya already agreed to not moving into separated apartments if the truce gets broken, not wanting to give up their life living together and living together with Sigma so soon again. 
All three agreed that if the truce should get broken, they would move into an apartment which is neither close to the ADA or the PM and which belongs to neither of the organizations. 
Lovecraft sometimes comes over to meet Bram at his dorm or at the office of the ADA. Especially when it’s bad weather outside since Bram dislikes going out so Lovecraft comes to him instead of Bram meeting him at the harbor. 
The first few times he came to the ADA, everyone was very weary around him and not even Dazai made any comments. 
The very first time, even Fukuzawa came out of his office to talk with the guest, ready to fight if needed. 
By now, they are still weary about him but have gotten used to him just randomly appearing at the office or in the house where their apartments are, especially when it’s raining or storming outside.
It became a normal thing.
Kenji even sometimes offers Lovecraft some tea or snacks and greets him happily upon seeing him, asking him how he’s doing.
During the first time he visited, Lovecraft also told Kunikida that if they should ever hurt Bram or just try to do so, he would destroy the whole agency.
Bram was asleep at that moment. After he found out, he scolded Lovecraft a bit. 
Bram and Lovecraft love to complain about everything to each other. 
Lovecraft sometimes brings Bram fruits. 
Bram loves fruits. It probably has to do with him being able to transform into a bat. 
After Kenji found out about this too, he often brings Bram fresh fruits, especially when Bram has a bad day, in order to cheer him up.
Sigma teaches others how to play different card games.
Chuuya sometimes comes over to pick his partner up from work when he can leave his work early for once.
He also is always willing to pick one of them up from work if one of them isn't feeling well but the other one is stuck in a meeting. 
When Atsushi first saw Dazai again, after the latter finally was allowed to leave the infirmary again, he tackled hugged him and hugged him so tightly that Yosano had to remind him to be a bit more careful.
Atsushi refused to let Dazai go for quite a while and cried his eyes out.
Dazai was sitting there like frozen for a moment before awkwardly patting Atsushi on the back, laughing and telling him that he is happy to see him too while trying to ignore the fact that his eyes got a bit teary too. 
Kunikida and Dazai’s reunion was much quieter but also very emotional. 
They were finally able to hug it out too. 
The whole reunion of the ADA was very emotional.
The ADA  isn’t framed anymore and went back to their normal routine, even though there are a few changes and even though the war changed everyone a bit. 
They do take cases again however and even though Dazai warned them that there might be another war against another ability user, they are enjoying their time now and they are prepared a lot better for new battles than previously.
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cashmere-caveman · 7 months
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My Country: The New Age, first and last episodes & Hanif Abdurraqib, For The Dogs Who Barked At Me On The Sidewalks in Connecticut (text/audio) image descriptions in alt
#damn imagine if hui-jae was well written beyond like episode 7 or so. wouldnt that have been something.#just saying but if they had actually leaned into the parallels between these three instead of doing ... whatever weird comphet stuff we got#it couldve been so good!!!! or even if they had just let her keep her fun gender!! but no :(#im so glad hui-jae is busy being the occasional third in hwa-wol and mun-boks marriage while seonhwi raise goats in seo geoms village haha#anyway. enjoy yet another half assed post abt parallels and heartbreak in the parallels and heartbreak show <3#also do urself a favour and check out the whole poem hanif abdurraqibs writing is insane#my country: the new age#mctna#han hui-jae#nam seon-ho#seo hwi#caveweb#actually no i still have sth to say. like im not even mad that theres comphet im just angry its so bad like??? what was that#that wasnt even half assed that was like quarter assed at best#also the hui-jae / seon-ho axis is so tragically underused#like i respect that they just fully made them both hwisexual but couldnt we have at least gotten more than some crumbs#they went from vaguely friends to bitchy antagonists to i dont even think of u at all and thats honestly so lame#tension of a wet lettuce leaf. seon-ho was the one who made the first step towards friendship in ihwaru and he also warned her abt his dad#and wingmanned hwi (took hui-jae to see hwi kick ass) like in the beginning he was the one w the people skills!#and u are telling me apart from one extremely unbelievable attempt at a love triangle w the 'last drink' scene u never did anything w them?#like so much of my grief w this show hinges on the fact that there shouldve been more Good Times before everything went to shit#to make it hit harder bc imagine the beef if seon-ho and hui-jae had been actually good friends before he betrayed hwi#them seeing each other at court as the king and queens respective confidantes wouldve been so much better like !!!#wait actually i need to stop here i can feel myself getting hangry i need to eat lunch but imagine. imagine#the good timeline where hwi just got to be fully bisexual and there were more divorce flavours than just hwi/seon-ho and hwi/bang-won...#solarpunk_future.jpeg#nam seon ho#han hui jae#<- thats just bc i never fucking know what the consensus on the romanization of everyones names is#i personally go w the hyphenated method but lots of ppl write each syllable separate and ive seen the kpop variant (written tgt) used too
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thedevilandhisbride · 3 months
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how will we ever get the spark to wonder, question, and think deeply about art when someone says a prompt or two into a generator, and out comes a painting that doesnt mean anything, because nobody took the time to tell a story within it? how can anybody do that if the art has no meaning like with ai art? when it isnt meticulously crafted by the complex mind of a creative human?
you cant tell an ai to convey the hurt and betrayal of a mortal against their own hubris as they fall off of the high horse they pitched themselves upon the way that a human would, because ai isnt human. it will never be human. and to compare ai art to human art and call them equals is dehumanization, and it strips art of every power it has ever had across the whole of human history.
#tdahbposting#why should be care about ai art when nobody cared to actually make the art in the first place#i got in a heated argument with my dad about ai art and it really hurt me as an artist#so here is basically what my thoughts where. i wrote a lot to my gf but these points summarized it#if you couldnt tell i hate ai art#also the piece i was referencing was the fall of icarus#ai art#fuck ai art#anti ai art#ai art debate#ai art is not art#i had a lot more rambling about if ai art tried to make a bunch of historical pieces of art and writing based off of what i argued about#earlier with my dad- mainly the bible and many pieces of art that are from that side of the religion sphere#because we have a 3d textural piece of the last supper passed down in our family from germany and he was. rambling earlier#but ai art could never recreate the human experience of wonder and love and dedication in and through art#you cannot begin to compare the inhuman art of ai to human artwork and beginning to do so is unbelievably awful to do#every stroke of story put into human art is something that only humans can continue to recreate- not ai or any other robot#the only way that the robot that scoops its own oil back in endlessly has that effect is because a human made it#the only way that robotic art effects us is because a human made it. a human made that robot do that. a human programed that robot#the robot didnt program and make itself the way that humans do#and when a human makes ai and that ai makes art#its only an imitation of humans#that ai cannot think cognitively or critically enough- or at all- to create its own Actual artwork#saying that it can and that it is equal in value to real human artwork is the most out of touch take#and if you have that take? you should be ashamed
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thatgirlonstage · 3 months
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Yeah yeah “show don’t tell” get mis-explained and misinterpreted as writing advice a lot and yeah sometimes you SHOULD be telling the reader things however I am unwilling to discard this particular phrase given the number of stories I have encountered that make me want to slap the author across the face with it
#tal reads#this post brought to you by my current audiobook#telling me. REPEATEDLY. in conversation and internal narration#that the mc is this incredible rebel who never follows the rules and who everyone knows likes to live on the edge man#meanwhile in terms of his actual ACTIONS in the story#the most exciting thing this man has done is buy a coffee shop without his family’s approval#(there’s a LITTLE more weight behind this than I’m making it sound bc his family is politically important. but not much.)#there’s this whole conversation he has with one guy#to whom the mc mentions his family wanted him to take religious orders#and the next like. ten lines of dialogue#are all just the guy repeating how UTTERLY UNBELIEVABLE this is and how NO ONE is less suited to that than the mc#and I’m just sitting there like. this guy is neither a serial killer nor afaik a political atheist so like calm the fuck down perhaps#it’s not a bad book overall!!!#but the reputation the author wanted her mc to have is HILARIOUSLY out of step with the character she actually wanted to write him being#if it was all internal narration I might call it a brilliant bit of unreliable narrator of the self-aggrandizing flavor#and take it as an artistic choice#but it’s clear other people think of the mc how he thinks of himself#just with…zero justification in the actual story lmao#every time he gets close to actually doing something seriously risky he’s like ‘but I’m not stupid so I didn’t’#me: WHY DO YOU HAVE A REPUTATION FOR DOING STUPIDLY RISKY THINGS THEN???#anyway if you have to TELL your audience what kind of person your character is#rather than letting their actions speak for themselves#then it’s time to reassess if that character actually is the kind of person you’re describing
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fazcinatingblog · 4 months
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2024 is the year I quit* the CPA and study creative/professional writing instead
*still staying as an associate member because I'm dumb
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bytedykes · 2 years
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sorry for posting abt this on main but TUA S3 TRAILER HAS GOT ME UNWELLLLL OH MY GOD???? THE SIBLING BICKERING, THE SPARROWS, SPARROW BEN'S RETCONNED HAIRCUT, LILA!!! VIKTOR!!!! HOTEL OBSIDIAN, BALLROOM BLITZ, FEI, FIVE FINALLY GETTING REAL CLOTHES, POGO???? ANOTHER APOCALYPSE IMMEDIATELY?? HDBRHEDHDBSJSB!!!!!! obsessed
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empress-hancock · 1 year
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STOP calling Leon Kennedy a twink wtf is wrong with you do you know what a twink is? Look at his damn biceps that is no twink!! He wasn’t even a twink in RE2, he was just softer and more naïve and trusting and enthusiastic. He was still muscular and strong. He’s not a twink none of you know what the words you’re using mean!!
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butwhatifidothis · 1 year
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No. No way…
So you’re telling me Captain is gonna have Dedue choose to stay with and work alongside Woobiegard and crew WILLINGLY after having to suffer Dimitri’s death (AKA the loss of the last person alive who meant the world to Dedue) at their hands because everything’s suddenly all cool with Dedue because the racism stuff with Ingrid (that wasn’t even properly used in the fic in the first place) was solved with a “I’m sowwy 🥺” and now Dedue is totally down with Woobiegard’s invasion of Faerghus that will absolutely make Faerghus a better place that Dimitri would’ve loved (even though Dimitri was totally obsessed with Woobiegard and a Scary Man™️ and all that junk so why bothering to even consider what he would’ve wanted at this point is ?????) and TOTALLY help out Duscur (even though Woobiegard isn’t genuinely shown to give a rat’s ass about Dedue’s homeland at any point in canon or this fic so why would she start now and have it make any sense) and not AT ALL spit on Dimitri’s death and everything he believed in and fought for.
Yup.
Like, sometimes I have to hand it to Cap'n, in that juuuuust when I think shit can't get lower I end up falling just that much farther down the Mariana Trench that is this fic. Because I honestly can not stress it enough that Dedue is nothing more than a prop to make Ingrid look better in this chapter. If not the whole fic, arguably. Seteth too, while we're at it. All they've ever done when Cap'n deigns to give them speaking lines is act in ways that make Ingrid look good.
Chapter 36, she tries to reason with Dedue despite his oh so horrible act of violence, and she's so saddened when he rejects her words.
Any time Seteth appears, Ingrid is portrayed as righteously indignant over the oh so horrible lies and deceit Seteth filled her head with, standing up for herself against him, before finally showing him "undeserved" mercy and forgiveness because she's just become so kind.
And Chapter 60, where Ingrid shows off how much she's grown from her hatred by trying to give Dedue a new life and by giving the aforementioned "undeserved" forgiveness to Seteth, all out of a want to help those she once hated
All the while Dedue and Seteth are nothing more than obstacles to Ingrid's path to self-betterment. Dedue is wrong to hate the ones that actively ruined his life and murdered the man he loved, Seteth is wrong to want to protect his daughter from people who've shown themselves willing to hurt her to get what they want, and Ingrid is right to show them the error of their ways. They're nothing more than "targets of [Ingrid's] anger" to her, after all. She wants things to be easy for her, after all. She doesn't give a shit about them and their feelings, all she wants is to feel better about herself and reaffirm that she's a "good person."
And now the result of Ingrid's treatment of Dedue and Seteth are coming around: Seteth is now willing to fight - and potentially kill - his own sister, one of the last living members of their entire race (or alternatively, he's insultingly trying to get that sister to see the "merit" in their abuser's side), for people who explicitly hate him for being a certain race - all because some girly who's physically assaulted him multiple times told him He Was Mean To Her. Dedue is now willing to help the side HE BELIEVES, RIGHT NOW, PRESENTLY, to be ultimately the ones responsible for the GENOCIDE OF HIS PEOPLE (and who had LITERALLY JUST GOTTEN THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE MURDERED IN FRONT OF HIM), because a white girl who he knows at LITERALLY ANY POINT IN EITHER OF THEIR LIVES hated him for his race said she once saw him as a monster but said sowwy.
The things that they hold dear to them? Their family? Their loved ones? Irrelevant. They get in the way of Ingrid and her slay queen bestie Woobiegard looking good, so they have to throw away their values and uphold their abusers' values. Because, again, they only exist to prop up Ingrid (and by proxy, Woobiegard). Their feelings can only matter if they can subserviently exist under Ingrid's. She doesn't have to do anything to earn their trust and loyalty - she can, in fact, directly and repeatedly abuse them. All she has to do is say that she's become worthy, and boom, they mindlessly follow her. Fuck their loved ones, fuck themselves, that doesn't matter as much as making Ingrid look good. It's fuckin' terrible
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fragileizywriting · 4 months
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am i still screen poisoned or am i procrastinating on writing a blowjob.
and it's not like i don't know how to write it; i'm doing a rewrite, for god's sake, no one is going to kill me for just staring at the original and just rewriting it to— hopefully— sound a little hotter the second time. and yet i'm staring at my computer like
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why am i so sad...???
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mamorigami · 8 months
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thinking about utahimes forehead...
#ooc.#just kidding im thinking of her scar. how unique and interesting of me.#describing it as not a “cataclysmic” event but just something she ended up carrying with her work....#it ruined me in a way it shouldnt#esp with how scars are viewed on women. whatever it was didnt have to be so permanent but it did and it cost her more than it should#even tho contrary to the scar she definitely won that fight. ik its obvious but it needs to be said!#oh to write an analysis on each of my jjk muses and their relation w/ the hierarchy of power and patriarchy#that is in the world...the traditions and how they digest them (or completely disregard them)#utahime seems contradictory. i can definitely see her be that positive influence for the girls she teaches. shes definitely not someone#to explain the shit way the world works and convinces the younger gen to just take it bc thats how its always been.#but also?? to wear the traditional miko attire??? its smthn thats dear to her. whether its thru personal means or for the sake of#upholding familial traditions. which. to carry something that has existed before u were ever imagined. before ur parents were.#that is smthn so strong and intimate so she holds specific traditions close (maybe her own family. not necessarily jjk society as a whole?#but then again i doubt her family is exempt from its prejudice..)#wtf was my main point.#she strives to better the next generation. but shes already stuck in this mold. her role was crafted for her and she is still#trying to break herself out.#those are my late night uta thoughts i might change this entire view later on but i wanted to focus on. um. not maki for two seconds..#can u believe that?? not focus on maki.....unbelievable of me.#its a battle to keep the life of tradition alive and pick apart the mold that has spread over time#oh the experience of living in such a culturally vibrant style that the lines blur. what is what and who do i believe#HER TECHNIQUE BEING A RITUAL DANCE FUCKCFUCKCUFKC
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oh-katsuki · 5 months
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sorry about rarely posting any drabbles or character thoughts or even fics even semi frequently I am not confident in my writing ability
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ankhisms · 1 year
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i somehow constantly forget that life long abuse and trauma has reshaped and rewired my brain in almost every way possible and i have to shake myself by the shoulders going listen we are not some evil horrible cruel mean spirited bad person or bad friend or bad to be around just because we mildly dislike and dont really enjoy the writing of a show a lot of other people like which isnt like bigoted or anything we just dont enjoy it. and my brain is still like ????? but i must be horrible and awful if i dont meet the expectations of what it seems like everyone wants me to do/wants from me
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starberry-skies · 7 months
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getting on t would prob be such a pain and take forever and i have no idea if i even would want the results but also. i'd have first-hand experience for my projection fanfiction.
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wavesmp3 · 9 months
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I’m sorry if this feels weird to say or anything but… I really love your mind 😭 when I first discovered your fics I would get upset by the open endings because it was something that I wasn’t used to in the slightest. I’m too attached to having full closure by the end of a story, but after I read more of your writing I really became enthralled by it. Your style feels like I’m transported completely to a sort of dream realm. I’m not sure if it’s your wording or the way the story plays out but your fics really feel like dreams more than anything to me. If I could describe it then I would say it feels almost like “All About Lily Chou-Chou” or “The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” in it’s atmosphere, what I imagine the stories look like when playing out and that sort of filter/cinematography. Hopefully that makes sense and I mean this comparison in the best way as I love both movies! eurydice was the first fic I read from you and it was such a different experience from what I usually am used to and it challenged me to think further into the implications and symbolism throughout the story. I guess your writing brought me out of my comfort zone and then I got hooked on your writing! I think the way you write is so unique and special and I’m so glad that I came across it and I really hope that you get more attention for it! So yeah, I just wanted to make sure that you knew how absolutely beautiful and captivating your writing is and how thankful I am that you’re sharing your talent with us. Keep doing what you do, you’re amazing!
hi, omg. thank you for this ask! definitely not a weird thing to say at all :) I’m glad to hear that my writing was able to push into a new kind of style I guess, that means the world to me! and i am so honored you think so highly of my writing. i haven’t seen all about Lilly Chou-Chou but I have seen (and love) eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. it’s one of my favorite movies and one that has (as you’ve picked out here lol) really inspired the way I like to tell stories. the comparison feels undeserved but thank you nonetheless. and what you said about my pieces feeling like dream….mwah. that’s kind of the goal I’m going for with my more recent and shorter pieces. im so happy it came across like that for you too.
again, just thank you for this ask! it’s always a pleasure to hear what someone thinks of my pieces. and I’m so glad you found my fics and that my fics found you :)
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