#ohhhh it just. makes me Anxious. yk.
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getting on t would prob be such a pain and take forever and i have no idea if i even would want the results but also. i'd have first-hand experience for my projection fanfiction.
#chirping#transitioning is just on my mind a lot recently forgive me#hashtag dysphoria..#but god i would love to write abt how to get t-shots in space or in the post-apocalypse or in. uh. community college.#that last one isn't as interesting but it is to Me. ok.#but anyway i'm pretty sure i Do want the effects of t#i'm just incredibly indecisive esp when it comes to Big Decisions like this#ohhhh it just. makes me Anxious. yk.#but i keep having dreams abt hrt or top surgery or changing my name and it feels like it's just right around the corner#i'm constantly doing research and watching videos and talking to my therapist about it#because the idea that i might have to live in this body my whole life fills me with unbelievable dread.#i just. i just hope i can change something soon. i just need to change something soon.#SORRY i spiraled a bit. i'm good i'm good dw#dysphoria mention
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