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anotherhumaninthisworld · 10 months

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Hello!

I am a newbie to the FRev so I'd like to thank you for having the most amazingly detailed posts here that are, most importantly, as accurate as possible. Your blog is awesome!

Now to my questions: I read your answer to an ask about Camille and Annette's relationship and was left wondering, why did the family become so hostile towards him to the point of refusing him entry into their home?

Why did Lucille's father not want them to get married? Was it just about Camille's financial success? I saw a link to a letter in the post but my French is horrible so I have no idea what was written.

And, I'm not sure how this was seen at the time, of course times were different, but the way he talks about Annette though he claimed to be platonic, it seems that he found her attractive?? Or maybe he was "buttering" her up (he seemed to be a bit of a womanizer though maybe most men were like that at that time and frequently complimented many women at once)? When he met Lucille she was still quite young (especially compared to his age), so I got the impression (just an impression) that he liked the mother, but she was already taken so he went for the daughter instead? Though this couldve been normal at the time.

That post gave me a whole different perspective on Desmoulins and his love story, thank you so much and I apologise for the lenghty ask and if my questions sound ignorant.

Thank you so much for your compliments. So happy I can be of use to people who are new to this mess. 😊

I agree, the idea that Camille was really in love with Annette and just had to go for the second best is one that is really easy to make when reading his letters and poems to her. I don’t really have anything that goes against it being true other than the fact that Camille, as stated, once refers to his and Annette’s relationship as being just platonic (and how much truth there actually was to that I will leave unsaid…). It doesn’t particulary help that most 18th century people writing letters by today’s standards sound like they want to jump into bed with the receiver, no matter who that person might be… I don’t know if there’s anything in particular (besides words like ”my beloved”) you should look at to help determine if two people are/want to be more than just friends.

As for why Lucile’s parents didn’t want to let Camille have her in 1787, that is actually quite easy to discover through the letter Camille wrote to the father in March the following year, published by Jules Claretie on April 26 1879 within the paper Journal officiel de la République française. The letter Camille’s responding to here has unfortunately gone missing, but as can be seen, Camille still lays out and combats its arguments in a very clear way (apologies if there’s any translation errors in here):

Monsieur, I am not mistaken and I am forced to agree that your letter is worthy of a father and full of wisdom. The first moments of pain that I experienced were followed by the calm of reason, and I take advantage of this calm to allow myself a few observations regarding your letter and putting them before your eyes.

Don't let my probity scare you. The reflections that M. Duplessis made me make on your [sic] uncertain state. My uncertain state is not uncertain. I am a lawyer in the parliament of Paris and what makes your state certain in this profession is not to be on the board, but talent and work. I am certain morally of being in charge of all the appeals of the sentences of Guise, which alone will compose for me an honest cabinet and an income of 7 or 8,000 livres at least; I cannot believe that there exists anyone who, after having read the memoir that is printed about me at this moment, tells you that my condition is uncertain. The letters I have from MM. Lorget and Linguet would prove to you, if you read them, that my condition is not uncertain. Already I have a flow of business which can only grow and I will have won a hundred louis this year, supposing that I lose the lawsuit which is about to be judged and whose gain would be worth more than two thousand écus to me.

On future events which may call me back to the provinces. I took a vow to stability in the bar of the capital, this vow is expressed clearly in the epistle and the printed memorandum which I gave to you. There exists only one thing that could make me detach from Paris and make a stay in the provinces bearable, it would be if I met Mlle Duplessis there, to what oaths must I bind myself in order to take away this fear that I will leave Paris? I see very well that you do not know how much I love your daughter, since you suppose that I would be able to sadden her by taking her away from a father to whom she is so tenderly dear.

On the impossibility for me to have a house where your daughter, like at your place, could find the softnesses and charms of life. There is something touching about this paternal fear that would have made me reproach myself for my premature research. But did you believe that Mlle Duplessis is less dear to me than to you and that I wanted a happiness that would have cost her the sacrifice of the comforts of life? As for me, the sweetness and pleasures of life would have been to live with her and with you, and these pleasures would have made all the others insipid to me. There are two things here that I cannot believe, first off the fact that this fear so natural to a father that his daughter would be less happy did not alarm you from the first moment you found out about my goal; second off, that your answer here would have been the one I had the pleasure of seeing. If you had thought that Mademoiselle Duplessis' change of lodging would deprive her of the pleasures of life, it would not have been with me that she could find those pleasures. I had not concealed my lack of fortune, nor sought to surprise your avowal by magnifying my hopes, in order to have the satisfaction of showing you that I had brought into this affair all the frankness and delicacy which befits my profession; I almost decried my father's fortune and succeeded so well that you then said to me: ”With the help of your fortune, I could wait until some brilliant affair had rescued me from obscurity.” You said this to me in much stronger terms, for your expressions were that, no longer being forced to run after an écu, I could devote myself without distraction to studies which would later make me known later as a jurisconsult, if the embarrassment of my stammer was an insurmountable obstacle which prevented me from succeeding in my pleading. It is clear that you did not flatter yourself then that I could put together a home for Mlle Duplessis. However, this beloved child was still not less dear to you at the moment and you surely didn’t think that she would lose the comforts of life, but you understood that there was a way to arrange it so that she would not have to make any sacrifice until the time which is not far off, when my condition would bring me 10 to 12 thousand livres. Did Mlle. Duplessis need a house other than yours for a few years? I would even have liked her to continue to live together with you, and for the change in her adress, while at the same time making me the happiest of all men, only to have added to the sweetnesses of life without it costing her any deprivation. Although the dowry I propose to give her is of a certain consistency, you may remember that when you mentioned this section, I kept silent. Surely, to wait until my estate was enough I did not need to find a dowry. At the present moment, I am able to count only on 3 or 4 thousand livres that I would get this year from my work or from my father. But wouldn’t these 4 thousand livres, joined to the 3 or 4 that you would give to mademoiselle your daughter, be enough for a house worthy of her? Of you I wouldn’t ask for anything more. She would have brought a thousand amiable qualities into the household; as for me, I would have put my estate there and I dare say some talents. It would have been a marriage without a dowry like that of the laborers, but those of that time are well worth those of ours. I never made mine a business, the only dowry I would have asked for was that one loves me, not as much as I do (in return), that is impossible, but I am sure that mademoiselle your daughter would have been touched to see me solely occupied with the care of paying her the debt of happiness that I would have contracted.

You urged me to overcome my affection. If it were only an affection, it could be overcome, but the wound is deeper. Remember, monsieur, in what dejection I appeared before you, my state had become so violent that whatever you might have said to me, it was impossible for my pain to wring my heart more on leaving your house compared to what fear had caused it upon entering. That is why, even though it cost me, I begged you to tear off the blindfold and uproot my hope. But how much you have decreased it instead. I only asked for a distant hope and you gave me a near hope. Fortune, you told me, would not determine your choice and you did not make happiness consist of fortune. I exercised an honorable profession that it was not even necessary to fulfill with a certain brilliance in order to appear to you worthy of belonging to you; it was enough for you that your daughter was loved tenderly and constantly and that second to her your son-in-law loved only work. Who would have believed in my place that this son-in-law was really me. You did more: you invited me to spend holidays and Sundays at your countryhouse and you allowed me, you even warned me to let my father know about this interview. At this moment my father has probably written to you and part of my joy was to think about he who does not care about the dowry (that of my mother, who is still whole despite our misfortunes because it has always been sacred in his eyes, was more important) but who loves me with tenderness and is no doubt delighted that I have finally obtained this demoiselle Duplessis of whom I have been speaking to him incessantly for five years and whom he wanted me to show him when he spent a few days in Paris two years ago. In my letter from March 22, it was no longer vain conjectures and equivocal walks in the Luxembourg that I entertained, it was speeches that a father of a family had given me, hadn't I had to base myself entirely on his answer?

It would be deceiving my honesty to make any promises to me at this time, considering the young age of your daughter. If you only wish to postpone the term of my happiness, I have already waited five years, and I can still wait another two and even more, but since I above all make happiness consist in this thought that we love each other for life, I only beg you to tell me if after two years and when my heart has perhaps been consumed by these attachments, I will not have to renounce the sweet habit of loving her. My age was no more advanced four days ago when you gave me such imminent hopes. Also this reason that you bring is not the real one and you yourself do not disguise it from me. An even more essential point to observe to you, is that it for me would be putting up a barrier against the parties which within two years could present themselves and to make you give yourself up to opportunities which fulfill your views. As for what concerns me in this article, what occasion, what views can you tell me about? What purpose can I have but to be happy, and I can only be so, monsieur, with you. Where can I find another family that I love so much? I have gone too far with mademoiselle Duplessis to ever retrace my steps, and if you come to take away from me the hope that you have made me conceive, you will have unwittingly caused the misfortune of my life. I come to the great reason, that it would be to put up a barrier against the parties which could present themselves within two years. If, when you did me the honor of granting me an interview, you had said that to me, everything would have been very clear and I would have had nothing to respond to. But, since then, you declared to me that fortune would not decide your choice for mademoiselle your daughter, and that you would seek for her only a husband who would love her with tenderness; so you mean that in two years from now there may come people who like her better than me. If so, let it be. All of them will undoubtedly love her positively, but to love her more desperately than me will be difficult. And I will always have been five years ahead.

You told me enough that you had not changed your mind in regards to me, and that, if I succeeded in destroying the motives that you were good enough to explain to me in detail, you would return to your first feelings. It seems to me that I have replied in a satisfactory manner to the objections of M. Duplessis; I therefore conjure you to come back to your first favorable dispositions and return for me the heart of a father. I would very much like you and Madame Duplessis to grant me an interview. I would remove all of your doubts, and I would come down to details that cannot enter into a letter: do not push me away from your bosom but allow me to give you both names to which my heart would refuse if I had to give them to others. It is with these feelings that I have the honor to be, monsieur, your very humble and very obedient servant. DESMOULINS Lawyer in parliament.

According to Hervé Leuwers’ Desmoulins biography, Claretie did for some reason leave out the following part when transcribing the letter: ”D’allieurs, ai-je donc demandé Mlle Duplessis pour le moment? J’ai demandé seulement si je pourrais obtenir un jour sa main, quand mon état serait pleinement fait.” which suggests Camille wasn’t actually asking if he could marry Lucile right away, just if he could call dibs on her for the future.

As for why the family fell out with Camille a year after the letter was penned down, to the extent that they asked him to stop visiting them, that is hard to know for sure considering we don’t have their letters on their issue (and those of Camille are both vague and bias in his favor). My best guess is that he simply wouldn’t shut up about the engagement and they kicked him out for that reason.

#desmoulins #camille desmoulins #lucile desmoulins #a bigger question for me is what exactly made the family change their mind about camille?#a broke lawyer is a no go zone but a broke journalist who many people want dead isn’t?#but camille literally goes from ”everyone in this family is so hard on me”#to ”lucile and her mother were both crying of joy when i finally got permission to marry her” within half a year #wonder what happened in between that we Will never know about…#annette duplessis #ask

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stxleslyds · 3 years

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Robin Jason, a friend and ally of the Titans.

PART 2.

Hi! Welcome to Part 2 of this post, as I said in the last one, I will be talking about Robin Jason’s moments and not reviewing the issues from a story point of view but I think I will have to give a little more context in this one because honestly I am a little lost with this particular storyline, there is too much going on and Jason isn't part of many pages so yeah, I hope this post isn't too boring or bad though.

I will link part 1 Here!

Let’s begin!

· NTT (1884) #26-28

In my last post I talked about how Jason would be called by Donna to help the Titans save Dick and Raven from Brother Blood’s people. We start #26 with Mother Mayhem giving a public speech on television. What you have to get from this is that this cult is using the image of the two Titans/Heroes (Nightwing and Raven) that they captured as propaganda for their intentions, their intentions being resurrecting Brother Blood and making the world believe that they are good people. Obviously, Dick and Raven are not there because they are supportive of their cause, they were both brainwashed.

In this issue the Titans team that had fallen apart in issue #19 is back, so we find Donna, Beast boy, Cyborg, Joey and Wally together once more and they are trying to figure out what to do because they have two problems, on one hand Beast Boy’s father is killing people and captured Garth and on the other a whole ass cult is doing cult-y shit and captured Dick and Raven. In the end they choose to go save Dick and Raven first but they do it because Beast Boy says this “I…don’t know. I can’t say what we should do. We need Dick here…he’s a tactician. We need him as out leader”. Never in my life would I have thought that I would agree with beast boy but yeah…hard agree.

Donna understands that even though the team is (mostly) back on its feet they still need more firepower and that’s why she calls Jason. While it was kinda rude of Cyborg to say that Jason is not all that (in terms of firepower) any kind of tension is quicky gone because Starfire comes back (talk about firepower).

We have various moments of Beast Boy being a perv towards Kory (thanks a lot Marv) but that’s not important, what’s important is that now the Titans have to tell Kory that Dick has been captured and they are on their way to save him.

They all leave to Zandia (where Brother Blood’s Church is located) and a fight ensues as soon as they arrive, they fight but their goal is to get to the Church as fast as possible. Jason doesn’t say anything in these panels but he is fighting alongside the others. When things get a bit more complicated Jason starts to feel that maybe he isn’t that capable of handling himself but he doesn’t have to do anything by himself because this time he has a team that can back him up. Kory gives him a lift as soon as Jason is surrounded, he is of course thankful and a little bit pervy (thanks a lot Marv).

Kory is shot just after she gets him out of trouble and Jason as the adorable kid that he is becomes worried for her well-being. After Beast Boy is also injured in the fight the Titans decide to leave back to camp. Thankfully both Kory and BB are okay but they are all still worried about how they will get to the Church. We see here once more Donna being a bit overwhelmed with leading the Titans and beating herself up over what happened in Switzerland (#20 and #21) but Jason reassures her instantly that she did a good job and she doesn’t need to be so hard on herself.

This interaction here is particularly nice because Jason reassures Donna without her asking for it. In my last post Donna looked for reassurance in Robin several times but she didn’t do it because she actually wanted Jason to give his thoughts, she did it because she was hoping Jason would act like Dick and eventually take over the team’s leadership. Here that isn’t the case, Jason just tells her what he thinks.

After Donna talks about her doubts Kory says that she is impatient and worried about Dick but also expresses being unsure because the last time that she saw Dick they kinda left things off on “bad terms”. I say this because just like it happened with Jason and Roy, Jason and Kory also have differences, she is a grown and experienced woman that is going through adult problems and Jason is a kid that is just happy that he was called to join them on another adventure.

If we back a few panels to when Jason said that Kory “was a sight for sore eyes” Kory responds saying “first Changeling, now you. It’s got to be puberty”, she is obviously not pleased about Jason making that comment about her and it’s also made clear that he is just a teenager.

This is where I rant about how different what we see here is from what we get later in New 52. Just like Roy (in New 52) Kory is also seemingly very close or the same age as Jason and she is the one that is written as wanting to take Jason to bed or, at the very least, attracted to him. Kory being an adult in comparison with Jason is taken away from her and she is just transformed into something to fit Jason’s new beginning as the Red Hood. Lobdell didn’t do Kory any favours, he annihilated her character and made her out to be just eye candy that can come off as stupid and way too reckless just to prop Jason up, believe it or not Jason sometimes was the voice of reason to both Roy and Kory’s antics.

It’s even worse when you consider the fact that in this issue Kory is feeling better and more confident because she finally understands what she wants and has accepted Earth as her real home, all of that is gone in New 52, Kory is lost, insecure, she even depends on Jason a bit too much at the start (because she “didn’t remember” her time on earth or Dick) and goes back to killing. All in all, Lobdell’s version of Kory was very damaging and a disservice to her past history.

Back to the issue, as Donna and the others are going to start coming up with a plan (with only two days until resurrection day) we move scenes and find ourselves in a meeting where people are complaining about the Titans messing up their plans, but that is not what matters, apparently the people in that meeting wanted to “summon the Brotherhood” and here is where we are introduced to the person who will make the Titans’ lives a little more complicated…Twister. She is one of the people that were victims to Brother Blood’s brainwashing and experiments.

In the next page we see the Titans resting but Cyborg is awake so thanks to that he hears someone coming straight to them, here Kory takes the lead and she says once more that she will not kill whoever that is, that she can’t and won’t do that anymore…I wonder if Lobdell ever read these issues, maybe not.

The attacker was Twister and in seconds she twists the Titans’ reality and leaves them all incapacitated. She then goes to look for and recruit the Brotherhood of Evil. While she did that though the Titans slowly made their way back to the city and are now getting ready to attack. Donnas plans as we soon find out don’t include Jason as one of their front line fighters, in fact he has to be left behind as back up.

Jason is not very happy about this; he is the boy wonder! But because it’s the plan and the Titans are experienced, he decided to stay put (at least for now). Its funny to me that even Beast Boy calls Jason a kid. What is sad from these panels is obviously the last thing that Jason says “I can’t wait until I am sixteen!”. I mean, this issue came out exactly two years before Jason’s death, there was no way they could have seen that coming but yeah, it’s just sad. Jason really was in a better and happier place around this time, little did he know everything would turn upside down after a while.

The rest of the Titans fight, Donna starts to feel like she is finally in control and that she is doing a great job at keeping the Titans together, Kory is having her inner turmoil about Dick but she is doing her job and when she decides to go help Cyborg and Joey they come across the Brotherhood of Evil. This is where #26 ends.

Issue #27 starts with a very difficult fight for Kory, Cyborg and Joey, it ends with Kory injured, Joey captured and with Cyborg thrown off a window. The only one of them that Donna, Beast Boy and Jason are able to save is Kory.

The Titans that re left have to retreat and find a place to recover, Jason is very silent all the time but Donna and Kory are the ones that are having interesting talks, they have to find out where the Brotherhood has Joey and Cyborg and their time to save Dick and Raven is running out but if they don’t save the others they might die. It’s a complicated situation and they are both impatient but Donna tells Kory this “Dick would be the first to tell you to plan first, attack later”, I bring this up because nowadays its very common for fanon and current writers to think of Dick as someone that doesn’t plan, that doesn’t think before jumping. Even Beast boy called him a tactician, I know this is a Jason post but its also a post about how characterizations are also kinda destroyed. Dick has suffered a lot from mischaracterization so its nice to go back to these stories and see that what we think Dick should be now isn’t something that we once imagined but something that mas modified or taken away from him either by fanon or current writers.

After the Titans decide to wait for the storm to pass to go looking for Joey and Cyborg, we actually see that Cyborg is in the city looking for shelter, he is injured and as he falls unconscious we meet a couple that decides to save him. Back to the Titans once more we have Jason say that the storm that is forming look “like something out of Ghostbusters” its then that the Brotherhood makes itself known, they are taunting them and they have roped Joey to the top of the capitol building and they are asking the Titans to surrender or Joey dies.

Its here where Donna takes full control of the Titans and even though she and Kory have different ideas of what to do she says that she is the leader now and what she says gets done. Donna will be in charge of saving Joey while the others will make their way towards the Brother Blood Church to help Dick and Raven.

Before they go their separate ways Jason says this about Donna “Wow! I wouldn’t wanna be in her shoes for all the garbage pail kid stickers in the world.” I am going to be honest, I had to look those stickers up and all I have to say is what the hell. But I am not here to talk about stickers I am here to talk about how funny its that Jason is being so uninterested about leading a team. Now, don’t get me wrong, Jason has the ability to lead, yes, but he is better at leading himself or an operation, we have all read UtRH, we know how well the Red Hood can handle himself and his plans but a team of heroes? Controversial opinion but I think that Jason should have never been given a team and I am talking about Kory and Roy as well as Artemis and Bizarro. Was Rebirth better than New 52? Absolutely. But I just don’t see Jason as a leader of a team of heroes and it’s also incredibly repetitive, just because he was Robin doesn’t mean that he needs his own team. I know that Robin Jason and Red Hood Jason aren’t the same person and that they might think differently but if Lobdell had never come into Red Hood/Jason Todd’s life when he did we might have never seen Jason lead his own team and that to me is proof enough that it should have never happened. I quite enjoyed the Prince of Gotham storyline in Red Hood: Outlaw, he didn’t have a team but he had an operation going on and people working FOR him not WITH him. In my opinion that’s better for Jason (if you would like to see me review that storyline let me know).

There is a lot happening story wise and I am finding it more and more difficult to continue talking about Jason’s moments here without giving context so I am going to resume what happened between Donna leaving to save Joey and Jason’s next appearance in this issue. Here we go, Brain tells Monsieur Mallah that he decided to “help” Twister take down the Titans because he wants to use Brother Blood’s Blood Pool because he is dying, Twister goes back to her family’s home and we get to see how brainwashed she is, her family is shocked to see her and they are also the ones that took care of Cyborg while he was unconscious, Cyborg leaves to find the Titans but Twister sees where he left to, she tells the Brotherhood where he might have gone to but protects her family by not telling them that they were the ones that protected Cyborg in the first place and Donna was able to save Joey. I think that was everything.

We see Jason again when he is just outside Brother Blood’s Church with Kory (who is giving him a lift) and Beast Boy. But because life can’t be easy for them the Brotherhood of Evil teleports there and a fight ensues. Kory takes the lead and Jason gets to work.

Kory praises Jason for his work here not because she can’t do anything but because she is seeing that a kid is doing an excellent job. Make no mistake, she is the one with experience but she is nice and gives credit when its due.

Cyborg arrives and the fight continues. We see Beast Boy warning Jason about some of the villains’ powers and Jason being the excellent Robin that he is pays attention and escapes Plasmus’ touch.

I might not think that Red Hood is a team player but Robin Jason absolutely is, and the Titans are nice and care for his safety.

While all of this was happening, Cyborg had made his way to the Church and there he gathers all kinds of information including the location of Brother Bloods main Church in the US. He also makes the alarms sound so everyone leaves because he set up the Church to blow up. Somewhere else Monsieur Mallah is threatening to kill Brain after the later insults him again. And there is where this issue ends.

In issue #28 Jason and the rest of the Titans appear after several pages of Mother Mayhem being a creep, Azrael the angel rising and trying to resurrect Brother Blood through the power of prayers, people watching the live broadcasting of the event and Dick trying to break free from his own head but as soon as he does it Mother Mayhem brainwashes him right away.

The Titans are back in their tower where we see Wally again but that is not all, Frances Kane and Robotman come in too. After all the people who are willing to fight get together the Titans make their way to Brother Bloods Church.

It’s in the jet with Wally that we see Jason and this time he gets to talk too! Jason is talking about how much braver the Titans are compared to him but Wally calms him down by saying that even though he has been doing this for a while he is also scared.

The fact that Jason joined the Titans on another adventure without mentioning it to Bruce is funny to me, he was probably so happy that Donna called him again! Maybe Jason was more bored of being with the Bat than he let on and maybe he didn’t feel appreciated enough or heard. I also like to think that Donna got Jason’s number through Dick, like do you remember that Dick gave Jason his number if he ever wanted to talk shit about the Bat with him? What if they did talk and then Dick put Jason’s number on the Titans’ data base? That would be cool and really sweet!

Jason continues to be a team player and being useful during the fights, he has the Titans’ back as much as the Titans have his.

They fight their way in Brother Blood’s Church and once there they find a dude called the Confessor with Arella (Raven’s mother) but he tells the Titans that she is dead. Somewhere else though is where the real trouble is at, between Azrael and Raven, Brother Blood has finally been resurrected.

It’s in the last page where Brother Blood is looking all mighty and powerful that Dick seems to have broken free from his brainwashing once more.

That’s the end of that issue and this part of the post. This one was super difficult to write and it’s even longer than part one, I hope I didn’t make it super difficult to read. At some points I felt like I was explaining too much and in others too little. I guess it’s very difficult to show how one character participates in a story without giving context but I just didn’t want this post to be too plot heavy.

These issues had some cool Jason moments but the ones in issues #29 to #31 are even better!

#jason todd #teen titans #titans #new teen titans #starfire #kory #donna troy #dick grayson #nightwing #brother blood #dc comics #robin jason todd #wally west #red hood

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woman-loving · 4 years

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A History of US Bear Subculture

Selection from “A Concise History of Self-Identifying Bears,” by Les Wright, published in The Bear Book: Readings in the History and Evolution of a Gay Male Subculture, edited by Les Wright, 1997.

Roots In his 1991 introduction to The Bear Cult: Photography by Chris Nelson,[1] Edward Lucie-Smith attributes iconographic sources of bears to the 1950s gladiator movies starring bodybuilder Steve Reeves. Gay “physique studios” of the time reflected the predominant fashion of closely shaven faces and bodies. “Old Reliable,” a Los Angeles-based photographer of homoerotic wrestling, specialized in “natural” men, soliciting hustlers, punks, ex-cons, and other truly “rough trade” types off the streets (from the 1950s-1990s) to pose for his camera. Old Reliable’s models were street-smart scrappers, perhaps shabby, perhaps defiant, unquestionably blue-collar, or lower, class. A fat cigar in one hand and the middle finger of the other hand thrust into the camera’s face is the signature pose for Old Reliable’s models. John Rechy’s novels, especially 1963 best-seller City of the Night, serve as a record of gay male engenderment of this particular type in the urban subcultures of the late 1950s and 1960s.

Another informant, living in the Miami, Florida area during the 1970s, reports that when he first started coming out into the bar scene in his mid-twenties he encountered a cluster of “bears” that congregated in the Tool Room, a back bar area of Warehouse VIII, a “disco place.”

“[i]n the meantime, some counter-culture tabloid I read occasionally ran a cryptic personal ad for a Bears party, which would gather at a men’s bar called The Ramrod on a particular evening and time, so I bit. Not knowing the bar’s whereabouts, then learning the address and trying to find the unmarked place in the downtown darkness, I was late but not too late. A dozen of so men with beards, most of them husky, were piling out of the bar door as I was walking in. Two of them grabbed me by each arm, and one said “Great! You’re the even number!” Now I was just in the first stages of coming out, even to myself, but I let myself get swept away (with an alarmed smile on my face). I thought I was headed for my first orgy (gay or straight), but it turned out to be a real party at a home on one of the causeway islands between Miami and Miami Beach. Real men having a hell of a good time without a woman in sight. Imagine!! We watched the second half of the Dolphins game, played some cards, then sat outside under the moonlight, slowly pairing off and disappearing back indoors or off into tropical hiding places behind the patio.

I was out. I started hanging out regularly at the Ramrod, where any bearded local was greeted as “Hey, Brother Bear!” I checked out The Rack, a leather saloon, but the bear camaraderie was not present. A few Rack regulars were good-looking, beefy, bearded guys, but their bikes and image were their focus, not the bears among them. The bears continued to patronize the Ramrod and the Tool Room, or a larger bar in Fort Lauderdale called Tacky’s, but could be found in lots of neighborhood bars, too, like The Hamlet and The Everglades. Not only did we refer to ourselves as bears, but the term caught on among non-bears too.

It was too early in beardom, I guess, to have a Bears club or organization of any kind. Nobody thought of it. There were spontaneous parties arranged by word-of-mouth, picnics, beach volleyball. We even loaded three vans full of bears and invaded Key West.

You might think of Florida as an unlikely place to find bears, but bearded men were very common there in the 60s and 70s. When the disco era streamrollered fashion for straight and queer alike, it became less common. Many bears kept our beards, many left only a moustache. The Ramrod faltered and closed, 13 Buttons and The Copa flourished, as did all the big discos of the day. I became more private whit three bear affairs over five years, then finally met a cowboy in New Orleans on Mardi Gras and left Florida forever. We moved to Colorado in 1981 and had five great years together. I've been in Denver since 1986 and was later a founding member of one of the oldest bear clubs in the country, Front Range Bears.

But that’s another story.”[2]

Larry Reams has unearthed the first documented apparent uses of “bear” in the current sense. He has found among records of the Los Angeles-based Satyrs’ MC club the formation of a “bear” club mentioned in two entries from 1966.[3] Another source cites anecdotally a group of lovers of a “Papa Bear” in Dallas, Texas, as the start of the “bear community” “well before 1975.”[4] Several undocumented sources have related similar anecdotes of private circle or bar circles of self-identifying bears.

The first published description of gay “bears” appeared in a whimsical article called “Who’s Who in the Zoo: A Glossary of Gay Animals,” penned by George Mazzei in the Advocate, July 26, 1979. Larry Reams reports that he and his friend, the author,

“were standing in Griffs’, a Los Angeles leather bar, one evening discussing the types of men we were and those to whom we were attracted. We decided we were Bears and continued on to formulate what we thought constitutes a Bear. Once we had described Bears it was an easy step to look around the bar and create the rest of the article.”[5]

Because the type so strongly suggests aspects of both bear attitude and bear image, it is worth quoting in its entirety:

“Bears are usually hunky, chunky types reminiscent of railroad engineers and former football greats. They have larger chests and bellies than average, and notably muscular legs. Some Italian-American Bears, however, are leaner and smaller; it’s attitude that makes a Bear.

General Characteristics: Hair. Their tangled bears often present no discernible place to insert a comb. Laughter. Bears laugh a lot and are generally good natured. They make wonderful companions since they are prone to reach for the check, buy the next round and keep abreast of when the Trocadero is dancing this season. Their good humor can turn threatening if you attempt to cruise their trick and you will hear about if for weeks afterward. [...]”

Jack Fritscher was creating and documenting a similar impulse in San Francisco contemporaneous to this Los Angeles subculture. Those pre-AIDS years in the Castro and South-of-Market subculture are documented in the roman à clef Some Dance to Remember. Recorded in the novel is an account of Fritscher’s short-lived underground magazine called Man2Man, a direct precursor to the first incarnation of BEAR magazine. The “homomasculinity” of Fritscher’s philosophical quest was summed up in the magazine’s subtitle: “What you’re looking for is looking for you!”

First-Wave Bears of the Zeitgeist, 1986-1989

The energy that called itself “bear” appeared as one of the signs of reemerging gay communal life following the arrival of AIDS in the 1980s. After several years in a state of shock, emotional devastation, eating more, perhaps exercising less, continuing to age, and ready for a somewhat slower and more compassionate pace of gay sex and gay social life, “hibernating” clones, leathermen, and many other self-identifying types came back to gay public spheres as “bears.” AIDS led many of us to put on extra padding and to eroticize (or publicly admit to our erotic desire for) male bulk. Feminists, such as Andrea Dworkin and Mary Daly, had articulated the mechanisms of patriarchal/capitalist subjugation through the “beauty myth.” The tyranny of the “Castro (or Christopher) Street clone” had been breached.

Since the late 1970s, in counterpoint to the “endless party” spirit of gay life, increasing numbers of gay men were burning out on the alcohol and recreational drugs. Alcoholism has been, and remains, a serious problem in the gay community. The drug experimentation of the “love generation” had turned into a nightmare before AIDS arrived. Now, for the first time, many were experiencing another sense of self, a “sober self,” a discovery of self-respect, which allowed them to bring to a halt these self-destructive behaviors. Across the country sobriety became not only fashionable, but even “politically correct.” Discussion of the uses and misuses of the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous belongs elsewhere. Relevant to bears is the rise of self-esteem among gays--whether through sexual “liberation” or adoption of cultural norms of the moment.

The self-empowerment movements of the 1970s, the nurturance and “safe space” strategies of 1970s feminism, the ever greener alternative impulses of rural gays, Radical Faeries, and nongay-identifing men-loving men (as disseminated, for example, through RFD magazine), and the fundamental strategy of Stonewall politics--coming out--prepared the way. For gay men, who had come out as gay, as sober, as HIV positive, as leathermen, it would seem “natural” to come out--yet again--as a bear. On the one hand, Stonewall-era identity politics shaped the Zeitgeist. On the other hand, for many men-loving men who did not identify with any of the images of gay men in the gay press or with (usually) urban gay men they had encountered on trips to a city, their first encounter with the idea or an embodiment of a “bear” would strike pay dirt. Many have reported immediate identification, sometimes after years or decade of not “fitting in.” Twelve-stepping and two-stepping were new venues for socializing, for being in community without an explicit exhortation to sex. It gave us another chance, a utopian moment, in which to reinvent ourselves and our community.

“Bears” have been emerging as successor to the “clone” and as transmutated variant of “leatherman,” as an integration into gay mainstream social life of “girth-and-mirthers.” In many ways, it was a humanizing response to what clones had been. Martin P. Levine, in his study “The Life and Death of Gay Clones,” focuses on the urban enclave of West Village clones (Manhattan), noting that “AIDS, gay liberation, male gender roles, and the ethics of self-fulfillment, constraint, and commitment”[7] were the sociocultural shapers, creating and destroying this gay male subculture. Bears, during the 1980s, represented a break with the competitive and objectifying tendencies which had alienated so many Stonewall-era gay men. Bears continued the tradition of masculine identification, the social identity politics of gay liberation, and basic Enlightenment values of equality, self-determination, and self-fulfillment. Bears sought to ameliorate between socially isolating cliques and creating safe social spaces, comingling social and sexual spheres, merging rough, unkempt masculine iconography with the emotional nurturing lacking in the clone subculture and the caretaking many gay men felt called to as a direct result of the AIDS epidemic.

The point of titration came in 1987. The “Bear Hugs” parties, the advent of BEAR magazine, and developments in electronic communications were the catalysts that sparked the concept of the self-aware, self-identifying bear across communities. First, computer bulletin boards and then listservres and moderated mailing lists made communications instantaneous and were collectively dubbed “cybearspace.” All three significant events took place or are tracable back to San Fransisco, independent each other but with an unexpectedly synergistic effect all together. All three represented, each in its own way, a “safe space” for bears.

Play Parties A group of friends began organizing private “play parties” in Berkeley and San Francisco in 1987, as safe and warm gatherings--social and sexual for their friends and friends of friends. Private, invitation-only “jack-off circles” became popular during the AIDS sexual freeze, but these were an alternative social and sexual space for gay men who felt “left out”--out because they did not fit, or felt like they did not fit, the gay media images of “beauty”--young, tanned, smooth-skinned, blond LA surfer boy “twinks.” Their “difference” was both physical and perceptual, and was expressed through a social and sexual inclusiveness--men in their thirties, forties, and fifties, ranging from slender to stocky to chubby (though generally on the heavier side), usually with beards and perhaps body hair, and from a range of social classes. The common mold was a warm, nurturing, affectionate attitude toward each other. The intimacy of the early days changed, however, when the gatherings grew to over 100. By 1989, a larger space and a more formalized “guest list” became necessary.

This San Francisco group was the spawning ground for several later developments. Among them were Bear Fax Enterprises, a business privately owned by Ben Bruner and Bill Martin. The International Bear Expo, which ran for three years in San Francisco (1992, 1993, and 1994), the effort of dozens of local bears, was overseen by a steering committee, many of whom later founded the Bears of San Francisco and the International Bear Rendezvous. The “International Mr. Bear” competition and title were introduced at Expo ‘92; John Caldera, the first title holder, eventually acquired ownership of the tile, and the contest has been held annually ever since.

“Bear soup” became a widely adopted idea. In many places it refers specially to hot tub parties, though often with the implication of an orgy or private sexual pairings later in the evening. Sometimes “bear soup” seems to refer merely to a crowded space full of bears. The Bear Hugs group in Great Britain is a strictly social organization.

Similar groups, such as the OzBears of Sydney, Australia, and the Bear Cave parties in Manhattan, had started up for purposes of private socializing, and formed the basis of new groups that developed into bear clubs dedicated to social activities or even community work. As organized bear clubs have arisen and sex clubs started advertising a weekly “bear night,” these play parties have all but disappeared.

BEAR Magazine At about the same time, Bart Thomas began putting together a small, photocopied underground magazine he called BEAR . The magazine was, at first, local to San Francisco. It consisted of jack-off photos and personal ads. The reader could send in appropriate photos of himself or stop by the BEAR office and pose for the magazine. In some ways, BEAR may be seen as the direct successor of Jack Fritscher’s Man2Man underground magazine of nearly a decade before. Before he could actually launch the magazine, Thomas succumbed to complications form AIDS, but not before passing the torch to his friend Richard Bulger.

Bulger’s vision of a lifestyle magazine, articulating this masculinity, with a leftist sexual political slant, and embedded anthropological underpinnings, not to wax abstractly, but to act, to embody the principles through practice and a level of discourse clear to any blue-collar man. In a few years’ time the magazine expanded in size and status, and from word-of-mouth circulation to international commercial distribution, with a full line of videotapes, photo sets, and accessories.

In this 1993 study of BEAR magazine, Joe Policarpio describes the dual aspects of image and attitude stressed by publisher Richard Bulger through his choice of models and editorial content. The general profile of a “bear” includes at least some facial hair and some body hair (”usually the more the better”), a “musky animality,” a blend of traditionally masculine aggressiveness and (feminine) desire to cuddle, muscles by Nautilus or physical labor, and a tendency to be older than the models found in most other gay male porn magazines. “The most important point is these men are presented as fitting an ideological pattern the magazine espouses. This is one of freewheeling, playful and positive attitude toward sexuality between men. He is comfortable in his body and exudes a sense of self-assurance.”[8]

Because of personal ties, BEAR magazine was from the start intimately connected with the South-of-Market bar scene. The original Lone Star Saloon was the first “bear bar,” and followed the tradition of the Ambush and the Balcony, both of which had gone out of business early in the AIDS epidemic. These “sleaze bars” all developed an international reputation. They all offered a free-spirited, anarchic, anything-goes ambience, drawing in blue-collar types who disdained the middle-class pretensions of mainstream gay culture, those who sensibility combined social rough edges with the loyalty ethic of the American lower classes, and misfits, eccentrics, and other “rugged individual” types historically drawn to frontier towns and their saloons.

“Cybearspace” Direct electronic communications over the Internet developed and proliferated during the 1980s and 1990s. Word-of-mouth knowledge of bears spread very rapidly across the Internet. The preponderance of bears on-line or in computer fields is traceable back, in part, to this. One of the most often used private or personal uses of the Internet, regardless of sexual orientation, is for communications of a sexual nature. The lines of communication are numerous and diverse: live chat lines (IRC), BBS (electronic bulletin boards), unmoderated (echoed) an moderated mailing lists, websites, CU See ME (live video transmission), and e-mail. Altogether an individual can transmit or receive text, images (such as gif or jpeg), sound, and video images (nearly) instantaneously. The Internet allows for establishing and maintaining contact anonymously, for uncensored communication, for the exchange of visual images (yourself, your friends, your favorite sexual icon), and for echoed messages (broadcasting to all subscribers of a mailing list of a global mailing to everyone in your e-mail address book). Certain mediums (such as the IRC) can guarantee anonymity (no clues as to personal identity or physical appearance). The question of subverting prejudgment on the basis of appearance becomes moot, however, when we consider the proliferation of visual mediums, such as webpages, archived gif and jpegs, or CU SeeMe, which permit blatant self-advertising based on one’s appearance without revealing one’s name or location.

Early on, circa 1985-1988, there were several bear-dedicated bulletin boards, such as the PC Bear’s Lair (sysop Les Kooyman). The bearcave chat room on the IRC has been a very popular site in cybearspace for live conversation. While the option of remaining anonymous is always available (everyone uses a “handle,” or pseudonym), cyber-communities have evolved over time. This may range from sexual encounters to personal friendships to life partners.

By far the most popular cybearspace is the Bears Mailing List, or BML. Founded by Steve Dyer and Brian Gollum in 1988, it grew from a small, friendly, safe-feeling cybergathering of several dozen bears to a heavily subscribed, largely anonymous, and often fractious, moderated exchange of over 3,000 subscribers. Since 1995 Henry Mensch and Roger Klorese have been moderating the BML and introducing changes to accommodate the dramatic shift in tenor and purpose of the list. Subscribers are drawn from all fifty states and several dozen nations worldwide. English is the lingua franca although everything, including whether to have and who should determine a common language (and how), has been brought up for discussion. Bob Donahue’s somewhat tongue-in-cheek rough guide to “bear codes,” which was accessible from the BML archives, is the source of subspecies terminology within the bear community, such a cub, otter, behr, and the like. Numerous individuals have taken the code in all seriousness and this has become a source of contention, quoted by both sides in disputes over what is a “real” bear. [...]

Although not the only cybear group to do so, the BML has staged several informal, in-person gatherings of its subscribers During Stonewall 25 in New York City, for example, some sixty to seventy BMLers gathered at Bethesda Fountain in Central Park on the day before the parade. Consensus determined the group should form a spontaneous contingent and march in the parade. And thus on Sunday, Stonewall 25 included a sizable contingent of mostly bearded, bearish-appearing gay men from all across the country and from abroad.

Second Wave: formalizing, 1989-1994

Bear Clubs As the concept of bear circulated between gay communities across the country and “news of recent developments in the gay capital” was drawing more comers to San Francisco, localized efforts to promote and organize bears appeared everywhere. The Bear Paws of Iowa, co-founded by Dave Annis and Larry Toothman in 1989, was the first bear club. By 1992, Bear Expo organizers were aware of four such clubs. Two years later, there were forty. According to the International Directory of Bear Organizations, maintained by The Tidewater Bears (Virginia), as of January 1996, there were 137 bear clubs or explicitly bear-friendly (girth-and-mirth and leather) clubs worldwide.

Bear clubs have generally followed along the lines of their older cousins, the lather motorcycle clubs. In some places this means an informal club that schedules periodic social events. In other places, this has translated into a great deal of fundraising and gay community civic activities. As the club model has gained wider acceptance, it has drawn long-standing problems endemic throughout the gay community into its sphere.

A formal club membership structures creates automatically an insider/outsider division, even if membership is “open to all” (usually defined as “bears and their admires”). Having a club also invites quibbling over definitions of who is a “real” bear. (This is borne out by regional differences, whether emphasis has been placed on body hair, on body weight, or on “attitude,” though a beard or moustache seems to be universally required). Clubs and organizers of events, such as the OctoBearFest (Denver), Orlando Bear Bust, Bear Pride (Chicago), European Big Men’s Conference, or the International Bear Rendezvous (San Francisco) have created bear contests, which engenders the very hierarchical system the earlier bear impulse had been resisting.

Finally, the disjunctive ideals of bears as working-class masculinity and bears as an increasingly distinct subculture within mainstream gay culture bring into sharp relief the larger issues of gay community. If bears began in a spirit of inclusiveness and egalitarian-mindedness, sex positive and relatively “anti-looks-ist,” then what is to be made of the increasingly conformist, consumerist, competitiveness that has take over? As the idea of bears has spread, the opportunities to travel far and wide, to purchase ever more and ever more costly bearphernalia, to update an expand one’s computer sources are generating another, unanticipated dividing line-between bear haves and bear have-nots. to what extent does having money now calculate into the formulas of who is a “real” bear?

Expanded Print Media As BEAR magazine rapidly grew in format, production values, and circulation, reception among gay mainstream media remained very lower. The first published serious essay on bears was a piece I wrote in 1989. It appeared in its entirety in Seattle Gay News, an abbreviated version in the San Francisco Sentinel, and Drummer magazine carried the “Sociology of the Urban Bear” as the first bear cover story in 1990. (It was reprinted in Classic Bear, February 1996.)

What became known as bear types had been featured, in one way or another, in RFD (rural), in Chiron Rising (”mature”), in leather/SM-oriented, and girth-and-mirth publications. Numerous niche-crossover magazines sprang up in the early 1990s--Bulk Male, The Big Ad, Husky, Daddy, Daddybear, GRUF. Bearish models began staring back at the reader from the pages of Advocate Men, Honcho, In Touch, and other gay mainstream glossies. BEAR magazine’s direct competitor American Bear, published by Tim Martin (Louisville, KY) took advantage of a lacuna left by BEAR magazine’s retreat from Bulger’s philosophical lifestyle magazine publishing. With the establishment of the bear icon in the gay community and the world of mainstream-gay print advertising, gay bears had become a local presence everywhere (not just in San Fransisco). And with interests, at least sometimes, beyond immediate sexual gratification, this translated into new niche markets. While American Bear Features a regular column on dissonant (HIV-positive/negative) couples (Bulger adamantly refused to mention AIDS in his magazine), a how-to column on accessing the Internet, and other features, none of the bear magazines have attained Playboy-calibre intellectual content.

In the early 1990s “bear war” broke out when Bulger, then owner-publisher of BEAR, sought to gain sole ownership of the word “bear” as his company’s trademark. Needless to say, this led to a lot of bad feelings and was widely followed and criticized in cybearspace. The Advocate even mentioned it in print. At the time, the Bear Hug group’s informal newsletter the Bear Fax had been expanded into a full-fledged magazine by Bill Martin. The lingering legacy of this “war” was a schism, based on a difference in basic body types typically portrayed in each magazine, between “fat bears” and “skinny bears.” Since this time, personals ads have proven far more profitable, and the bulk of the magazine currently consisted of personals ads, photo spreads, and commercial advertising.[9] The magazine was sold to Bear-Dog Hoffman in 1994 and is currently under Joseph Bean’s editorship. It is not clear which direction the magazine will go. It is clear that BEAR is the voice of authority in matters of bear community and sensibility.

Print media as gone a long way in generating a prototypical bear icon--full-bearded, fairly to very hairy, beefy to chunky GWM baby-boomer, probably of Irish, Jewish, Italian, Scandinavian, or Armenian heritage. In reality, the question of race, presence or absence of body hair, body build, social class, or outlook on life is anything but so neatly compartmentalized. BEAR magazine introduced the serious photographic work of Chris Nelson (as Brahman Studio) and Steve Sutton (who succumbed to complications from AIDS in 1994). Lynn Ludwig has established himself as the documenter of the San Francisco bear community. And, perhaps, the most gifted photographer of bears is Los Angeles-based John Rand, whose work is included in this book.

Bear Contests The bear calendar includes many regional gatherings, as mentioned above, as well as annual bear contests as the local club level. The highlight of such events is often the bear content. As Lurch, a popular bear icon, stand-up comic, TV actor, and psychiatric nurse, has put it, “I prefer to say ‘titleholder.’ ‘Winner’ implies ‘losers,’ and none of us are losers.”[10] Successful bear contest titleholders may be expected to organize or work a number of fund-raisers, go on public speaking engagements and represent their hometown or club on the road. In other places, the local bear club may be one of the few, or even the only social outlet, and merely being a known presence in the local community is the extent of the titleholder’s “duties.”

The emergence of bear contents has tended to straddle the fence between two sides--parodying traditional gay ideals of beauty while striving to establish a new, legitimate bear ideal. The International Mr. Bear contest, a component part of the San Francisco-based International Bear Expo, evolved in its first three year from poking somewhat self-conscious fun at traditional gay values to striving in an increasingly serious manner to project an image of a self-confident bear ideal, a new icon assuming its place among the archetypes of male beauty. From the beginning there has been an emphasis on personal warmth, a compassionate nature, civic-mindedness in the gay community, and spiritual playfulness. Titleholders John Caldera (IMB ‘92) and Steve Heyl (IMB ‘93) worked hard during their “reign,” and have remained genuinely and deeply committed to the bear community. Yet, in the progression of titleholders and the proliferation of bear contests in recent years, here has been an increasing tendency toward consolidating a bear image, and away from qualities intangible or at least invisible to the camera.

#lgbtq history #bears #us history #united states #gay history #les wright #the bear book

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seo--jun · 3 years

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heyo heyo it’s kat back again with a new muse !! this is sam and he’s posh as hell !! read more below the cut !! my discord is kat#1056 if anyone would like to plot there !!

━♡ guess the 26 YEAR OLD NOVEMBER baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because WEON “SAM” SEOJUN is just as BRILLIANT as the month of NOVEMBER. wait, why do they remind me of KIM NAMJOON? beyond that, they seemed OUTGOING & INTROSPECTIVE upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of DISTANT & SPACY though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX #4 / APARTMENT #6 / FLOOR #4 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as A FOOD CRITIC. ( kat, 20+, she/her, est. )

basic info !

name: seojun “sam” weon age: 26 pronouns: he / him birthdate / sign: november 26th 1994, sagittarius (idk whats with me and sags i just love to write them) occupation: food critic, photographer (mostly related to food for articles, ect, but as a hobby also does nature photography and candids of friends and family)

background !

sam was born in seoul, south korea to a family of prestige and occasional notoriety. he’s the only child to a successful lawyer (mom) and a renowned art critic (dad). growing up his parents jobs had the family moving around pretty often and sam ended up living in the states for a lot of his childhood (thus the english nickname). he always had a knack for cooking and, admittedly, some of the finer things in life. he liked nice clothes and furniture, he liked clean floors and chandeliers, he loved good food and fancy restaurants, but never to the point where it was gaudy, always more appreciative than show-offy.

he isn’t judgmental. at least, he doesn’t think so. he’s been privileged his whole life and he knows it, doesn’t take it for granted or think less of people in different situations then himself. he knows his career was largely influenced and amplified by his parents success, his ability to make money and do what he loves only an option because of the support he was given. he's thankful for what he has, but he also experienced a lot of distance from his parents due to their careers and never had many lasting relationships due to not have siblings and moving around as much as he had.

he was always an exemplary student, though he struggles to take full credit for it given the tutors and teachers he had being some of the “best.” failure, he supposed, was never really an option. he had freedom, though. cross country trips by himself became an option at the age of sixteen and experimentation in careers, life, and style became something he loved, something he relied on. he’s well-traveled, friendly, and also inexplicably.. lonely. he fills his life with work and travel and new people to avoid being solitary, nothing more shaking than sitting in an empty apartment with no one to talk to, the only savior the sound of the television playing to an vacant couch in the other room to avoid the empty side of his bed but... anyways.

so how exactly had he ended up in dallyeog? well, it’s sort of a funny story, really. he had a lease somewhere else (perhaps somewhere of similar intrigue… perhaps somewhere much, much nicer) ready for when he came home from a stint in california but when he arrived it seemed there were some problems with the paperwork and... long story short he had nowhere to live. after some quick last-minute searching he found that dallyeog was one of the only complexes that had an open availability for more or less an instant move in. and now he has a year and a half lease. so. that’s that.

wanted connections !

connection: not a life coach but i’ll coach you in life TAKEN

aesthetic: empty packets of ramen / smudged eyeliner / colorful clothes patterns / raucous laughter / painted fingernails / big sweatshirts / long hugs / walks around the city / late night phone calls / special ringtones / crying on a train / fighting over the bill / holding someone’s face in your hands

in depth: they weren’t meant to be best friends, not quite like this. they met in the apartment building and your muse was at some sort of rock bottom, maybe sam ran into them crying in the stairwell late at night, maybe they locked themselves out of their apartment -- whatever it was, he offered to help and since then, well... he just kept helping. it’s not pity and it’s not a savior complex, he knows your muse could survive without him, but he likes spending time with them and they want to be helped. whether it’s life advice, fashion advice, cooking help, or any other variant -- sam has their back. similarly, sometimes its good to be reminded to let go a little, embrace mess and chaos and just accept life as it is; not everything can be helped, not everything is avoidable. a classic case of opposites attract.

connection: pretty handsome awkward

aesthetic: flushed cheeks / drunken laughter / holding hands / bar stools / leaning towards someone when you talk / messy hair / heavy jackets / over-the-shoulder and around-the-waist hugs / talking til late at night / strategic ‘good morning’ texts

in depth: they met at a bar and hit it off. it was a classic meet cute, he was out by himself stressing over some emails he has to deal with and your muse happened to be seated nearby. your muse broke the ice and then hours later he looked at his watch, surprised. it was late. really late, like the-bar-was-about-to-close-on-a-friday late. he offered to walk your muse home and very quickly realized that was also HIS way home and, well, you’re neighbors!! surprise!! now it seems you have an ongoing flirtationship that exists over beers and in a jacket slung over your muses shoulders that has yet to go anywhere serious.

connection: that ‘struggling artist’ type of love

aesthetic: paint splatters on a white wall / torn-up sneakers / sticking your head out of a sunroof / throwing stones at closed windows / banging on a bedroom door at two am / sticky notes on a bathroom mirror / ‘this reminded me of you’ / glitter stuck in the carpet / abandoned canvas’ / a wall of photographs

in depth: your muse is unlike anyone he’s ever met before, and that’s saying something. this works best with an eccentric muse, an artist, a free spirit. your muse is, well, HIS muse. he has a roll of candids he’s taken of them on his camera while they hung out, sprawled over a couch or wandering the streets of the city. they don’t worry about the future, they live in the present and it’s foreign to him, he’s drawn to it like a moth to a flame. sam doesn’t consider himself an artist, not creative even in cooking or photography, but they make him feel -- unique.

connection: the ghost haunting my halls

aesthetic: late nights / darkened hallways / slow, quiet footsteps / lit cigarettes / stargazing / losing track of time / wearily catching each other’s eye / sweatpants and slippers / disheveled hair from tossing and turning / sleeplessness / old cartoon reruns

in depth: you run into each other in the hallways more often than not. it’s a constant struggle to fall and stay asleep, singularly he’s sometimes found wandering the halls or going for walks until the early morning. somehow your muse always seems to be awake. sometimes they go for walks together, or they hang out in one another’s apartments, watching old reruns and eating whatever’s left in the fridge. it’s strange, really, how you never seem to hang out outside of these nights, but it happened organically, and it’s nice to feel a little less lonely when the sun breaks the horizon.

( note: all of these are open to any gender identity !! these are the main ones i have for now but i will be making a full plots page and adding more soon !! in the meantime feel free to message me to brainstorm if you have any other ideas you wanna explore !! )

#dallyeog:intro #intro #hello everyone !!#i hope u like him !!! dm me for ploottts

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molsno · 3 years

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I’m skipping the middleman on that trans ask game and just answering all the questions myself <3

this is long so it’s under a read more

1. How did you choose your name?

in senior year of high school, while I was in french class, I was thinking about the word vivre, to live, and how it conjugated. I forget what tense it is, but one way of conjugating it is “nous vivions”, and it dawned on me that the name vivian is based on the word vivre (or its latin origin). of course, I already liked the name due to the character from paper mario ttyd, but knowing that it means life really spoke to me, as I think the ability to live is a precious thing that shouldn’t be wasted. I decided pretty much then and there that I would name my daughter vivian some day. well... then I got the chance to play a character in my friend’s danganronpa killing game, and I thought playing a girl would be interesting. granted, I also already knew I was an egg and saw this as an opportunity to try out my favorite name, so I created vivian tamochi. as you might have guessed, I loved being her so much that I made vivian my actual name

2. What gives you the most dysphoria?

um, hearing recordings of my own voice probably. I always think that I sound very feminine but then I hear a recording of myself and it sounds like a bad impression

3. Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?

more social I guess? actually yeah I think all of the dysphoria-induced breakdowns I’ve had have been because of social things

4. What do you do to perform self-care when you’re feeling dysphoric?

something that helps a lot is shaving, especially when it’s a fullbody shave

5. What was the first time you suspected you were transgender?

this is a bit embarrassing but it was honestly christmas eve 2018. I saw my little cousin (I think she was 8 at the time) wearing a pretty dress and I felt sort of jealous that I never got to do that when I was her age. I was so confused about this feeling that I told my trans friend kyra about it and after asking me to clarify what I meant she linked me to the egg_irl subreddit. that was the first time I seriously considered it

6. When did you realize you were transgender?

I told my friend amanda how I’d been confused about my gender and she offered to take me to goodwill to try on some clothes. I was extremely nervous about it while we were there and I really had to work up the courage to not only pick out some clothes to try, but also take them to the fitting room with me. but once I put on a skirt for the first time I stood there for like a solid 5 minutes just looking at myself in the mirror with the biggest happiest smile on my face. in that moment I finally understood what gender euphoria was. I couldn’t deny I was trans any longer, it was just a matter of working up the courage to tell people

7. What is your favorite part of being transgender?

um, probably that I feel like a person now. also the little things, like seeing my hips get bigger or looking at how long my hair has gotten. just little things to smile about!

8. How would you explain your gender identity to others?

um, I’m girl <3

9. How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed?

I mean it depends on who, but I decided to do it on national coming out day 2019, in my discord server with friends. basically I commented on it being national coming out day and reposted my intro in the introductions channel with my new name and pronouns. everyone there sorta saw it coming I’m pretty sure

10. What have your experiences been with packing or tucking?

I’ve tucked a few times in public. it’s uncomfortable for sure, but not terrible once you get used to it. the idea of it made me squeamish at first, I’ll admit. but since I haven’t had much excuse to go out in girlmode the past year or so, I haven’t tucked much

11. What are your experiences with binding or wearing breast forms?

the closest I’ve ever gotten to wearing breast forms is wearing a bra every day for..... almost a year now? it doesn’t serve much purpose other than letting me feel something there, though that is changing since I’ve been on hrt for several months

12. Do you pass?

I mean... probably not? I feel like I’m very visibly trans. there have been like two times where I’ve been gendered correctly in public (one in girlmode, one not) but those are extremely rare

13. What (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?

well I’ve been on hrt for 8 months now so that’s one thing. I want to get laser hair removal for my facial hair because that’s one of the biggest sources of dysphoria for me, but yknow. that’s expensive! according to my understanding my insurance supposedly should cover bottom surgery, but I’m honestly in no rush to get that. I don’t really have much bottom dysphoria, but it would be nice to get surgery some day

14. How long have you been out?

it’s been about a year and two months now...... time flies

15. What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?

up until I was like 17 I was incredibly insistent on being cis and straight despite very obvious (in retrospect) signs to the contrary. around 18 I was very confused why all my friends were lgbt in some form and also I kinda started realizing I don’t mind dick, and I thought it would all make sense if I was bi. I identified as cis and bi for like 4 years or so but the longer it went on the more wrong it felt considering I had never once during that time been attracted to a man

16. Have you ever experienced transphobia?

surprisingly not really? the most transphobia I’ve experienced has been a result of automated processes like proctored testing or emails. of course, I’ve seen all the nasty shit that terfs say about people like me, but I’ve never been a victim of it directly

17. What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?

if there is a universal restroom that I can lock from inside then I use that. if not, I sigh dramatically and sadly use the men’s room

18. How does your family feel about your trans identity?

truthfully I don’t know. my mom seems accepting enough, but with the pandemic going on I haven’t talked to her much. I know my sister is aware, and shockingly she seems supportive too, but we haven’t talked about it in depth

19. Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?

if I could go stealth I would. I’m sorry but I don’t want to be visibly trans

20. What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?

the sooner you start transitioning the happier you’ll be. by denying this part of yourself you’re just making yourself miserable

21. Why do you use the pronouns you use?

she/her makes me happiest. I’ve (against my will, mind you) used they/them and been called molsno in a group that I wasn’t out in, and..... it made me feel..... distant, I guess? it was better than he/him, but it felt much less personal

22. Do your neurodivergencies and/or disabilities affect your gender?

I mean...... yeah? as a trans lesbian it’s very easy for me to hate masculinity given how it’s instilled nothing but negative feelings in me literally my entire life, and being autistic makes it harder to understand how the things I say about gender negatively impact the people around me

23. What’s your biggest trans-related fear?

the fear that I may never be able to believe I can be loved as a woman, probably

24. What medical, social, or personal steps have you already taken to start your transition?

coming out nearly everywhere and getting on hrt!

25. What do you wish cis people understood?

I desperately wish cis people understood even the basics of trans issues. still to this day many cis people don’t even know the right terminology to use for trans people. they think “trans man” and “trans woman” mean the opposite of what they actually mean and that’s just so goddamn frustrating. many of them think transitioning is just bottom surgery and that’s it. like, they don’t know anything about hrt. cis people please educate yourselves on trans issues I’m begging you

26. What impact has being trans had on your life?

it’s affected many aspects of my life but I think the biggest one is that I feel like a person now. I always felt like a robot, or like someone putting on a performance before, but I feel like a human being now

27. What do you do to validate yourself?

ummm... not much really. I guess one thing that has helped is making my character astrid trans? because if I ever think something bad about myself I can stop myself and ask if I would think the same thing about her, and of course the answer is no.

28. How do you feel about trans representation in media?

it’s bad. trans women very rarely get any positive representation. like the only transfem characters that come to mind that I think were handled well were lily hoshikawa from zombieland saga and vivian from paper mario (although even that’s debatable given the english censorship about her gender and the way beldam abuses her in japanese). meanwhile nonbinary representation consists almost exclusively of aliens, shapeshifters, robots, etc. and trans men get literally nothing. like. trans representation is just so abysmal it’s not even funny

29. Who is your favorite trans celebrity?

umm....... I don’t really care about celebrities lol. if I were to answer this question it would be “oh yes I’ve heard of these people”

30. Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?

gosh, how could I ever decide? most of my friends are trans so it’s hard to say but if I had to answer.... my friends kyra and modeus were probably the most helpful when I was figuring myself out

31. How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?

mostly online

32. How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?

I’ll almost certainly still be a woman, and hopefully my transition will have gone well enough that I’ll be able to pass

33. What trans issue are you most passionate about?

healthcare. the difficulty so many people face with getting access to trans healthcare is ridiculous and discriminatory. I’ve written essays for school about this topic and they were the easiest essays I’ve had to write because of how passionate I am about this

34. What advice would you give to other trans people, or what message would you like to share with them?

pick your head up queen/king/royal, your cat ears are falling down

35. How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?

well I’m white, able bodied, average weight, and I’m about to get a degree in computer science, so I have a lot of privilege that other trans people don’t have. I fully recognize that. it breaks my heart that so many less privileged trans people, particularly trans women of color, are murdered and never even get the justice they deserve. I wish there was more I could do to stop it, but privileged as I am, I’m only one person. I want everyone to be aware of who the major victims of transphobia are. look out for black trans women especially, they need your protection and support most of all

36. What, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression?

not much. I’m a woman with a very feminine gender expression, when I’m free to be. the biggest feminine thing that I don’t do is makeup, but that’s more due to dysphoria rather than a distaste for it

37. Do you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither?

feminine uwu

38. What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it?

I am a lesbian and that is very epic of me. I love girls and seeing girls in love makes me happy and imagining myself as a girl in love with another girl makes me even happier

39. Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?

I always hate admitting this, but due to personal reasons, my ideal partner is cis. this is mostly because I very much want to have biological children, and that’s simply not possible with another trans woman. I wouldn’t rule out an afab nonbinary person entirely, it just really depends on how comfortable said person is with femininity and also how they feel about dating a lesbian. if not for my desire to have kids (which is not something I’m willing to compromise on since it has been my lifelong dream) I would have a lot more options. truth be told, cis women kind of scare me, and it would be so much easier to date someone who fundamentally understands what it’s like to be trans. but biology is cruel unfortunately

40. How did/do you manage waiting to transition?

it was incredibly difficult. thankfully, it didn’t last very long. I only had to wait about 6 months, and most of that time was spent waiting until I was able to bank sperm because I didn’t want to risk becoming permanently infertile after starting hrt

41. What is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things?

ngl...... reddit. the trans boards have many, many helpful resources for transfem people. I don’t really go there anymore but it was immensely helpful in the early stages

42. Do you interact with other trans people IRL?

I mean..... yeah, but not very much anymore on account of the pandemic. I made a few trans friends junior year of college and we still talk occasionally, but it’s been several months since I last saw them all

43. Are you involved in any trans-related activism?

not really 😔

44. Free space! Answer any question you want, or make up your own question to answer.

“Wow Vivi how come you’re so epic?”

I was born this way <3

#personal

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binkysteebnpewter · 4 years

Note

All 85 of em

I despise you a little

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

Not to me, really. I value someone’s outlook on life and attitude more than something that will continually change as we age.

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Yes. I believe so, personally. I won’t date if I can’t see myself planning to marry her in the future. I’ve stated it before, but Home is what I want to find in life. Home is a person, to me. Home is someone I feel safe and loved by, respected on equal ground— someone who can be completely comfortable and themselves with me, and vice versa.

3. Are you a virgin?

No, but it wasn’t consentually lost.

4. Are you in a relationship?

Yes 🥺💗 I’m dating my princess, @andyl394

5. Are you in love?

Love is a very strong word, I used it lightly for so many years and still sometimes do— but I’d say I’m falling in love.

I believe you never fall in love like it’s a place you sit, I believe you are always falling in love with whomever you date because everyday you wake up a different person then you were the day before.

6. Are you single this year?

No 🥺💗 I have my lovely baby Andy

7. Can you commit to one person?

Yep ✨

8. Describe your crush

She’s really sweet, she has really pretty hair. She’s respectful and adorable. Her laughing and giggles sound like cute little bells, and her smile is so, so bright.

9. Describe your perfect mate

Respectful, Thoughtful, Communicative, and Understanding.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Somewhat, I suppose. I believe you can begin to fall in love, but never really immediately be in love at only a first look— but I guess I base this on the fact I value a persons outlook and attitude more than their appearance.

11. Do you ever want to get married?

Yes. I’d love to get married one day.

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

I guess it would really depend on what they had done to me.

13. Do you get jealous easily?

Not really. I’m not a very jealous person.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

MY PRINCESS 🥺💗 she’s my girl 😚

15. Do you have any piercings?

I have your regular ear piercings 🤷🏻‍♀️

16. Do you have any tattoos?

Not yet 😔

17. Do you like kissing in public?

I’m okay with it, I have nothing against it even though I’m very easy to embarrass

20. Do you shower every day?

Yes, I work on a farm.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

My princess 🥺💗

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Mmm... I don’t know?

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Of course I can! I despise when people cheat on their significant others 🥺

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

I’m not sure, that’s not a single person question for me because marriage isn’t something you use to lock someone in. Marriage is a partnership, you work together to lift each other up— as you should be doing before marriage even imo.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

I am in a relationship 😚💗

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

Yes.

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yes.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

No.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

No.

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Yes.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

No, I’m very emotional but I used to always be hesitant with love.

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

I choose not to answer

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

No.

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes.

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yes.

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Yes.

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Not really.

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

No, I used to be very reserved with falling in love.

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

Yes, I love music so I wrote a song but never gave it to her.

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

No.

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

I wouldn’t let them wander unless I had her consent, I value consent very strongly— even outside of anything sexual, I’ll ask if I can can someone before I do.

43. How long was your longest relationship?

Three years.

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

No one.

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

47. How old are you?

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I would encourage them to confess to them.

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

Her smile and laugh.

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

Depends on what they did.

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

Yes.

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

Yes, she tried to kill me.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

No?

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

Yes, my late best friend Lily.

55. Share a relationship story.

I dated a girl who told me I couldn’t hang out with my own older brother 🙃

56. State 8 facts about your body

I have freckles.

I’m pretty chubby.

Everyone thinks I’m sunburnt but I just have really red skin on my arms and face.

I sunburn way too easily though.

I have a lot of scars, both from doing things I love and mental illness.

I have brown eyes.

I have auburn hair

My hair reaches past my rear and it’s in between curly and wavy because I’m getting rid of the damage my mother did to it.

57. Things you want to say to an ex

I hope everyone realizes how horrible you treat people behind their backs.

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

Be understanding, don’t be afraid to commicate, be honest, be respectful, have an awareness of emotions.

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

No thanks 👀 I want to keep my face off my blog 🥺

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

I think I’m a year older, or a few months older.

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Their attitude.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

Hug me from behind, play with my hair, or just have fun and deep conversations with me.

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

I know that some others may not define sex the same way that I do, and that’s okay. I grew up learning and being told sex was something where you engaged in sexual activities with someone, so that’s always have I’ve defined it— a sexual activity.

64. What is your definition of cheating?

Well, I suppose I think of it like this. You and your partner probably agreed to be monogamous. You have that agreement and trust for the other to stay faithful. If your partner goes out and has a sexual or emotional affair with someone else then its cheating. The essence of cheating is breaking your partners trust.

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

I don’t know

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

I don’t know

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Something calm and relaxing for both people, maybe not somewhere very crowded.

68. What is your sexual orientation?

I’m a lesbian, I like girls 💗

69. What turns you off?

Inconsiderate taking, disrespectfulness, humiliation, degrading things, and anger.

70. What turns you on?

I choose not to air this to everyone— 👀

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

Im opting to not put this into the world—👀

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

Okay, I’ll answer this. I have a thing for praise, I like to praise others and I like to be praised.

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Flowers, make something personal, or bake something with me 🥺💗

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

I don’t really look for superficial things, I think. I really look at depth of knowledge, emotions, or their character

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

It wasn’t romantic at all, but my late best friend Lily picked me up off my knees once in elementary after I was forced to kneel on rice for not being religious (at a private Christian school 😅)

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I bought my late best friend Lily an outfit she loved but her mother wouldn’t let her get, and I embroidered the outfit like Lily had talked about wanting to do.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

I don’t mind it, other peoples ages in their relationships don’t effect me personally. As long as it’s not pedophilia, I’ll rock a pedophile into the asphalt any day.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

I was never able to tell anyone what happened to me, so he got away with what he did because I was too afraid to speak out.

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

I can’t remember the last time I felt jealousy tbh.

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

I told Andy I loved her earlier 😚💗

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

Andy, the fam, and pretty much all my friends. Everyone is attractive, I don’t consider anyone ugly 🥺

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

I last hugged my brother

83. Who was your first kiss with?

A person who should not be named. They’re the Voldemort in my life 😒

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

They cheated on me and abused me in multiple ways.

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

That’s how Andy and I met, we met online 🥺💗

And I love her very much, she’s my gorgeous princess 👑

#grace speaks #@nightunite #question asks #my munchkins 🥺💗#ill protect my munchkins 😌💗#andy is my doll 💗#shes my girl #shes my princess👑

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romionestinyballoflight · 4 years

Text

Here’s one more, because I’m in that kind of mood tonight I guess. Also, a little disclaimer: I chose to completely omit certain questions because I just wasn’t comfortable answering them. 🤷‍♀️

1. Are looks important in a relationship? — There should be a standard, but it shouldn’t be the most important thing.

2. Are relationships ever worth it? — With the right person, they are.

3. Are you a virgin? — Yes.

4. Are you in a relationship? — No.

5. Are you in love? — That would be no.

6. Are you single this year? — Yep.

7. Can you commit to one person? — Absolutely.

8. Describe your crush. — He’s very sweet and caring and genuine. Also really calm and mild mannered and funny.

9. Describe your perfect mate. — Basically what I just described for the previous question.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? — No, I believe in lust at first sight.

11. Do you ever want to get married? — Yes.

12. Do you forgive betrayal? — Usually, but it takes awhile.

13. Do you get jealous easily? — I guess, but it fades quickly. I don’t like living like that, jealousy is an ugly emotion.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone? — Yep.

15. Do you have any piercings? — I had one in each ear, but I had to let them close up.

16. Do you have any tattoos? — Three so far. I want at least three more.

17. Do you like kissing in public? — I don’t mind it, but it needs to be low key. I’m not into heavy PDA like I used to be.

20. Do you shower every day? — Yes, I can’t stand feeling like I’m not clean.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? — I mean, I can hope.

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? — Maybe, anything’s possible.

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? — Lasted a little over a year without cheating, so yeah.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? — Anything’s possible, but as of right now I would say probably not.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? — Not really, I’m trying to work on myself right now.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? — No.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? — No.

28. Have you ever been cheated on? — Not that I know of.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone? — No, I could never do that.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? — The only kind of plastic surgery I have ever considered, are breast implants because I feel like I’m kind of small and I’m kind of self conscious about it, but breast cancer runs in my family and implants interferes with detection.

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? — Many times.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? — Yes, on both sides. I’ve had guys feel things for me that I didn’t reciprocate and then I’ve felt things toward guys that they didn’t reciprocate.

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? — No.

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? — Pretty much every time I’ve had a crush.

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? — YEP.

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? — Almost every time I’ve crushed on someone.

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? — Mm hmm.

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? — Yes.

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? — Uh, a decent amount of time. I’m very into kissing, so I like to savor it.

43. How long was your longest relationship? — A little over a year.

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? — One.

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? — None.

47. How old are you? — 26.

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? — Something supportive, I wouldn’t try to interfere.

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? — No boyfriend for me right now.

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? — I would accept the apology, but I don’t know if I’d be able to accept the presents.

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? — Maybe my crush, but that’s it.

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? — I can’t think of anyone right now, but I don’t give up on people easily.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? — I’m not really talking to anyone, I just have the crush.

54. Is there someone you will never forget? — A few people.

55. Share a relationship story. — So I was at a Christmas tree lighting festival with the guy I was dating at the time, and we went behind one of the buildings where it was (it took place in downtown) to fool around (this was about ten years ago, and I was more into PDA than I am now), and we were interrupted by a drunk guy stumbling back there to take a piss. Not the most interesting story, but it’s the first one I thought of.

56. State 8 facts about your body. — 1) I really don’t like anything about my physical appearance. That’s really all you need to know, I can’t think of seven more things.

57. Things you want to say to an ex. — Not to sound like Adele, but I really do wish nothing but the best for him.

58. What are five ways to win your heart? — 1) Humor; 2) Thoughtfulness; 3) Genuine and Caring; 4) Patience; 5) Trust.

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) — Okay, you asked for it.

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? — I’ve only had one boyfriend so far, and the age difference was seven months.

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? — How they treat people around them, I guess.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? — Prove I’m the only one they’re thinking about, I guess.

64. What is your definition of cheating? — Anything that you feel you need to hide from your partner when it comes to another person.

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? — Something casual and fun, can’t really think of anything specific right now.

68. What is your sexual orientation? — Straight.

69. What turns you off? — Bad hygiene, cockiness, rudeness.

70. What turns you on? — Humor, generosity, caring.

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? — Hmm, I really don’t know.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? — Height. I prefer if the guy I’m dating is taller than me.

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? — The first one that came to mind is the guy I’m currently crushing on told his supervisors without hesitation that he was going into work late one day because I had to have an EGD done and I needed someone take me there and back home.

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? — I’m really into baking for people I care about, and I’m also not shy about telling people how much they mean to me. Sorry about not getting more specific, but I can’t think of anything specific at the moment.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? — They’re fine, but to a point.

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? — Last week, because my mom had to get a new vehicle and she basically got what I’ve been wanting to get for a long time now.

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? — Last night, I think. I said it to my mom.

81. Who are five people you find attractive? — 1) Dan Radcliffe; 2) Josh Hutcherson; 3) Ryan Reynolds; 4) Leo DiCaprio; 5) Patrick Swayze (RIP).

82. Who is the last person you hugged? — My mom or my brother.

83. Who was your first kiss with? — My first boyfriend, Cody.

84. Why did your last relationship fail? — It had just run its course and it didn’t make sense to continue it. He’s the one who ended it, but I had been thinking about putting an end to it earlier that same day. So it didn’t end badly, and we were on the same page about it (though it may not have seemed like it at the time, because despite knowing in my heart it was done I was still horrifically heartbroken and I don’t handle rejection well).

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? — Probably not, that’s a little too out of my comfort zone.

#Personal #Survey #Questions #About me

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the-strawzish-clownfish · 4 years

Note

Oh, you wanted me to hit you with some? Bet. Do all of them Strawberry

YOBI I LEGIT JUST ASKED SOMEONE THE SAME THING

YOU’RE OMNISCIENT I SWEAR

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

I have never considered that before now but thanks for that

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3 probably, I’m not really scared of the dark most of the time (unless it’s literally pitch black), but every once in a while i get really unnerved bc i get rlly paranoid

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Satan

4. What is your favorite word?

“faith” bc my faith and bc synesthesia

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

uhhh flowering cherry bc at my old house my brothers and I each had a tree that my dad planted for us when we were each born and mine was a flowering cherry

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

I looked in the mirror this morning?

7. What shirt are you wearing?

coral pink bubba gump shrimp co. t shirt

8. What do you label yourself as?

child of God, daughter of Sappho

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright if we’re talking natural light being let in through my windows, dark if we’re talking just normally bc rlly bright lights mess w my sensory issues

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

talking to you yobi

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this age, I’m a firm believer in that things will always get better, even if only one small thing does improve, when i think back on past years i get anxious and nostalgia isn’t good for me

12. Who told you they loved you last?

@toomanyfanfics that one

13. Your worst enemy?

my mental health tbh

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

never experienced romantic attraction, i used to have a plush (qp crush) on one of my best irl friends tho (@ blob have fun with this fact)

16. The last song you listened to?

I am listening to Echosmith’s Cool Kids as I am writing this, before that I was listening to Girls by Marina and the Diamonds, which is a hilarious song i 11/10 recommend

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

myself, I’m not s*icidal but I’m not killing someone else

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

whoever the person who decided Teen Vogue should endorse child pornography was

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

me, I would make myself do actual work for once

20. What is your best physical attribute?

my eyes, i just like them. fun fact this one kid i used to be kinda good friends with was talking with me on snapchat once (bc we did that a lot, back when i had snapchat) and i don’t remember how we got into this but he ended up describing my eyes really weirdly? it was really deep and got kinda strange? it was like a movie scene but via text message and then in the middle of it he was like “wtf am i doing” and i will always remember that (dude if you are for some reason reading this then idek what to say man. sorry). anyone who knows me irl (@ you blob) can take a guess as to who this is

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

idk the answer to either of those questions tbh

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

idek man sorry

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

weed, like i’m genuinely terrified of being in its presence (never been in its presence before), i’ve had nightmares about it

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

EVERY TIME I GO TO SUBWAY I GET THE SAME THING. BUFFALO CHICKEN, RANCH, AND CHEESE ON ITALIAN HERBS AND CHEESE TOASTED. I WOULD REPLICATE THAT

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

go to Atlanta and find a homeless person and buy them some clothes and food and some blankets

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

CANADA

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

first of all why is an angel giving me unlimited alcohol that’s just kinda strange second of all i am a MINOR i am not legally ALLOWED however i will probably just take whatever and give it to some people, someone will like it

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

be kind and do good where you can and if someone wrongs you forgive them

29. What is your favorite expletive?

as;ldkfjasdkgaj;lsdf

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

my cactus!! she is v important to me

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

the first thing that comes to mind was really traumatic for me, but it’s what brought me as close as i am to God now so idk that i would get rid of it. idrk man, it really sucked but i’m glad that I’m so much closer to God now

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a [redacted bc even though this is a hypothetical i absolutely would never do this and refuse to acknowledge it even in a hypothetical situation]. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

….Canada?

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

idk, peeps are in heaven now and i don’t really wanna take that away from them

34. What was your last dream about?

ask God not me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

not really, however i have had several surgeries (all on my mouth) so i was in the hospital for those

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

I have built a real, genuine snowman once in my life, and the only proof is a picture i have bc i was so little i can’t even remember it. it doesn’t snow in georgia

38. What is the color of your socks?

ain’t wearing em, however most of mine are gray with some colorful bits

39. What type of music do you like?

I have an eclectic mix of favorites.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises all the way, the afternoon and evening make me anxious but nighttime and dawn and early morning are the best times

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

vanilla bitch

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

UGA i guess bc it’s ga and that’s a safe answer, i don’t really follow sports (i watch baseball sometimes though)

43. Do you have any scars?

oh i’m covered in tiny ones, the most notable being one on my thigh that was on my knee when i first noticed it. to this day i do not know how i got it

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

gay

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i wanna be better about lying

46. Are you reliable?

heh depends, when it comes to knowing random things or being stupid, yes, but when it comes to remembering things, such as dates and times and things? absolutely not

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Has it gotten easier?

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes and no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a whelk and a quetzalcoatlus, no i do not accept constructive criticism

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i once spent hours talking to myself about if it is possible for a perfectly fair coin to exist outside of theory

51. Are you a good liar?

I like to think so

52. How long could you go without talking?

Oh I could go a looooooooooooooong time, however i do have my chatterbox days and i am known for not shutting up so it’s really a tossup on that one

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

when i was 3 my mom put blonde highlights in my hair and it was absolutely absurd

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

i cannot bake to save my life, however i have made my father cheesecakes for his birthday and they turned out okay so idk

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

sco-ish

56. What do you like on your toast?

a crap ton of butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

dude in a graduation cap

58. What would be you dream car?

idk whatever’s cheap and works

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

uhhh not really no

60. Do you believe in aliens?

i mean i don’t think we’re the only life in the entire universe, so yeah (and also they’ve found traces of ancient bacteria on Mars so if you don’t believe then who are you kidding)

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

occasionally, i don’t believe in astrology but it’s at least somewhat accurate a lot of the time and i like to freak myself out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

you’d think i’d have an answer for this, however i have never thought about this before. so e ig

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

if your answer to this is dinosaurs then get out of my house

64. What do you think about babies?

they’re good at shrieking, and for that i admire them

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

i am not interesting

#are you pleased with yourself yobi #sorry this took so long #strawzy answers #fucking yobi #tw swearing #cw swearing #strawzy cleans out dus inbox

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is6621 · 5 years

Text

Seniors & Social Media by Amanda Horrigan

We’ve all experienced it at one point or another... We log onto Facebook, Instagram, or some other digital media platform, and we notice that we have a pending friend request from someone’s mom or even a distant relative that we didn’t know even knew how to use a computer. After we process the initial confusion as to why this person would want to be connected digitally, we must then make the executive decision of whether or not we think they should be privy to our daily status updates, snapchat stories, or even our latest insta post. If you’re like me, you might start to wonder why your grandma even needs an Facebook, or why the elderly neighbor downstairs wants to be your friend on Instagram.

A recent study done by PEW Research Center found that 65% of adults are now using some form of social networking site, which represents a 58% increase over the last 10 years. Although the overall number of individuals using social networking sites has leveled off since 2013, there has been continuous fluctuation in social media usage amid groups who were not among the earliest adopters, including older adults.

Since 2005, seniors have made strides, with roughly 35% of those 65 and older now using some form of social media. Compared to the mere 2% who were using social media in 2005, this increase represents a significant shift in the daily media habits of older adults. Reflecting on the habits of the older adults I know, the first thing that comes to mind is my mom’s tendency to check her email obsessively throughout the day and my dad’s affinity for checking MSN News page each night. Research shows that though older users like my parents have historically considered email and online news more appealing outlets, social media sites have continued to attract more and more repeat visitors because of its ability to serve multiple functions. These functions range anywhere from sharing photos, connecting with long lost relatives, to watching the 5 minute Tasty Recipe videos which my mom is constantly tagging me in. This willingness to embrace new networking tools and engage in platforms that facilitate real-time daily communication has heavily contributed to the steady growth rate of social media utilization among older users.

Though age is strongly correlated with social media usage, with younger individuals representing the largest group of users, it should come as no surprise that older adults are starting to see, and reap, the benefits of sending those seemingly random friend requests. First and foremost, social networking sites enable users to reconnect with people from their past. These renewed connections can provide users with a support network that wouldn’t otherwise be available. For older adults, staying connected when nearing retirement or even entering the later years of their life can prove to be a challenge. Social media works to fill that gap.

Another benefit of utilizing social media is that it provides the foundation for connecting to strangers who share common interests or needs. For older adults who may be at risk of social isolation, social media not only enables them to engage in meaningful conversations, but more specifically conversations with people they might not otherwise have the ability to meet. For those living with a chronic disease, finding support online can also be a way to access resources, participate in health-related threads, and share words of encouragement or advice. Access to these online communities and forums can not only help mitigate the impacts of social isolation but also provide older adults with a greater sense of purpose.The last, and perhaps most obvious, positive impact of utilizing social media as an older adults is that it helps to bridge generational gaps. By pooling together users from very different parts of people’s lives and providing the opportunity to share skills across generational divides, social media enables users to regularly intersect and communicate across the same network.

While the psychological benefits may seem both obvious and positive enough to motivate a large number of older adults to start using social media, there is more that can be done when breaking down the barriers many adults encounter when trying to use social media for the first time. In an attempt to educate older adults on the best ways to get involved online in their community, organizations like AARP have started advocating and facilitating programs that teach digital skills to those who are least connected in their communities. In addition to making these programs available, perhaps the responsibility should fall to younger generations, holding them accountable for taking the time to engage their family members and other isolated adults in safe social-media practices.

Sources:

PEW Research Center

https://www.pewinternet.org/2010/08/27/older-adults-and-social-media/

https://www.pewinternet.org/2015/10/08/social-networking-usage-2005-2015/

https://www.pewinternet.org/2010/05/26/part-3-searching-following-and-friending-how-users-monitor-other-peoples-digital-footprints-online/

AARP

https://www.aarp.org/home-family/personal-technology/info-2018/technology-training-for-older-adults.html

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ninatastic · 5 years

Photo

@kay-licious how dare u (thanks <3) @silent-calling youre doing amazing sweetie

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

I wouldnt call it a key factor but it’s important to feel attraction towards your partner

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

sure! If it’s a healthy one definitely :D

3. Are you a virgin?

nah

4. Are you in a relationship?

yeh!

5. Are you in love?

I’d say so!

6. Are you single this year?

7. Can you commit to one person?

yes

8. Describe your crush

it me bf

9. Describe your perfect mate

same as above c:

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no, only when it comes to animals c;

11. Do you ever want to get married?

thats a dream of mine tbh

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

I guess every healthy person would say no but yes, I’d absolutely do (only the first time tho, after the second time you gotta ask yourself if it’s really worth it)

13. Do you get jealous easily?

in regard to my bf: I used to but it’s a hell of a lot less nowadays. In regard to people in general, sometimes, especially when im not doing well mentally

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

me bf

15. Do you have any piercings?

just have my ears pierced!

16. Do you have any tattoos?

no but maybe soon

17. Do you like kissing in public?

only if its sweet forehead or cheek kisses, or quick kisses on the mouth or hand kisses

20. Do you shower every day?

yes though I gotta admit I really have to force myself. Not because I like being stinky but because everything is kinda difficult sometimes

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

bruh I sure hope my bf does;;

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

nah

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

I’ve been in a relationship for 5 and a half years now, I think so

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

it is possible but who tf knows

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

idk, to be frank: I think my life would be a bit easier if I wasnt in a relationship, or if I hadnt been in a relationship for the past 1-2 years. And I often feel like im more of a burden to my bf than anything else. But thats a different story

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

as in losing touch with me? I guess so

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

a song yes and it was awkward as hell ajhajdfha and people have done drawings for me which is <3<3<3<3<3<<3<3<33

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yup

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

very very unfortunately yes, and just like a bunch of you guys I was this close to killing myself. I was in a very bad place which I know is not an excuse for this. I still think about it even if it’s been a time since then but I think I cqan never forgive myself because of that

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

often but im too much of a scared cat dsfskjf idk though, I would love to be much more petite size wise

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

oh often

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

yeah;; I’m not exactly pretty or popular, so puberty was hard

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

hell yeah

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

:( no

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yeh!!

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yeah and it’s difficult to be normal then aaaaaahhhhhhh

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

some of my friends have a strong disliking towards my current bf but i dont know if you can call it hate

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yeah and it ruined me for a while

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

uuuuhh not really I think

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

whenever I write bday cards I always put a poem in it :D

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

hella

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

depends on how thirsty I am

43. How long was your longest relationship?

5 and a half years and counting

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

2-3

45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?

uuhh I was 14, no one

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

HELLA

47. How old are you?

22 my dudes

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I#d try to play it cool because internally I’m panicking, someone help me

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

I love about my bf how you can ALWAYS count on him when shit gets down, even if he hasnt talked to a friend for a good while and they’re like “hey I need you”, he’ll be there in a sec Also that he is still able to surprise me

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

jsdfhsjdfks GO AWAY, I’d say while closing the door and shutting the blinds quicker than lightning

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

yeah, but that’s probably because I have bpd and depressions

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

yeah, I tried to help them on all occassions, so much that I ruined my own life partially and made myself sick. But whatever I did or said, they apparently want to suffer, so i gave up trying.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

yeah my abuser probably

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

unfortunately yes and fortunately yes

55. Share a relationship story.

uuuuuuhhhhh; I dont really know what to write here. Guess I’ll never forget when my bf held a kitten (which was only a week old) in his hands and he almost cried because he loved the baby so much. Haha, he was afraid of crushing it though because it was much smaller than the palms of his hands

56. State 8 facts about your body

I gained a lot of weight since last year which is why I avoid posting or taking pics, but according to everyone else you dont see it that much (?); my hair is getting its natural curliness back; I fucked up my knee so I’ll have knee surgery next year; I bruise easily; I have a shit ton of scars; I love my super green eyes; I have thicc thighs and if I’m very emotional I get red spots all over my body

57. Things you want to say to an ex

to my first ever bf: fuck u lmao to the second bf I had: I’m so sorry for everything and I hope that you found your place :)

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

uuuhhh be sweet and understanding, be funny, be somewhat smart, dont be a mean asshole and be nice to other people (especially kids) and animals and also be able to be fascinated by small things

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

yikes

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

my current bf is 8 years older than me

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

how open and nice they are? Idk I always choose my ppl to hang out with according to this

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

even though I’m a switch I have a big preference for being the sub, so if someone can dominate me and yknow do stull like carry me princess style or something im all like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

everything that comes after kissing imo

64. What is your definition of cheating?

I think as soon as you try to pursue someone emotionally that already counts as cheating

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

kissing, grinding, I love when someone talks dirty to me

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

if it aint too much of a tmi i’d love to admit that we have a collar and a leash so (not thinking about pet play uughfjhjsdfkhsd, just yknow someone is able to drag me to them like this or being held in place while being taken from behind is p nice)

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

something something being outside in the nature and also good food

68. What is your sexual orientation?

69. What turns you off?

super super wet kisses where also my nose somehow gets stuck in someone elses mouth Like dude r u a vacuum cleaner sdfhsdkjhfks

70. What turns you on?

being manhandled

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

idk I dont really have a lot of wet dreams and usually theyre not very kinky but rather sweet and slow

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

I like dirty talk, so imma leave that open

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

i love to get flowers, or lil stuff that reminds us of our friendship or something, self made/home made stuff is always !!!!!!!!!!!!

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

probably hands? I love it when girls have super slender hands and when boys have rough and big hands

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

I already answered that c:

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I have a few stories I’m proud of! But I really love this one: When I was little I grew up in a village in which like 300-400 people lived (maximum) and next to us lived this sweet older couple who always gave us sweets and vegetable for our parents, or they brought us stuff from when they went on vacation. The man is now constantly sick, he suffers from parkinson and you see the early statges of dementia setting in. A while ago he wanted to go and get the German version of fish and chips with his wife but due to him needing a ton of surgeriesw constantly he wasnt able to go out with his wife. When my mom told me this I was like wtf u cant just tell me this, I’m too soft. So I went and got fish and chips from the best market around us for him and flowers for his wife, despite the fact that I havent seen them in YEARS. When I arrived at their front door both of them hugged me and cried a bit

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

not bad if everything is consensual and if there’s a power balance thats equal

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

I think the leash thing is one of the kinkiest things we’ve ever done tbh

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

yesterday a bit when my bf went out wth friends and had a few beers while I was stuck at home with the thought that I can never have a beer again dkadfjahdf as stupid as that sounds but I always enjoyed these chill evenings with a beer and friends

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

this morning when I cuddled my cats :D

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

my bf and many videogame and anime characters, also my best female friend is hella attractive, also some of my friends are to die for

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

my bf!!

83. Who was your first kiss with?

my first bf sdfjsdfs

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

it didnt really work out, it seemed as he was more interested in saying “hey im in a relationship!” than in me, hah;;

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

yeah, sure

#ask #jeezus

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televisedbirdwatching · 5 years

Text

Getting a Handle on Portland Skateparks with GIS

BACKGROUND:

For the past few months, I’ve been taking courses in Geographic Information Systems (GIS) at Portland Community College. GIS work involves a lot of computer screen time, so I was thankful to have easy access to the Holly Farm skatepark on my way home. Class ended at 9pm, so if I hurried to the park I would have a half hour to skate before the sun fully set behind the hills. These short skate sessions were an important part of my day: after work and class I was thankful for some physical activity and unstructured time.

Holly Farm Skatepark in SW Portland. Photo Skaters for Portland Skateparks.

I believe skateparks are a crucial recreational resource. Of course, I’m not an impartial judge. For me, close access to the Holly Farm park was something to look forward to after class. But for many others, it’s worth considering that skateparks represent something far more important.

In urban planning language, the term “third places” is used to describe the places in our lives that are not work nor home. Sociologist Ray Oldenburg coined the term in a 1989 book called “The Great Good Place.” He wrote that the neighborhood grocery store, the corner bar, and the coffee shop are the places where ‘weak’ social connections are made, introducing people to community members who would otherwise be strangers (A brief note that ‘weak’ refers to ‘casual’ more than ‘insignificant’). He called third places the “heart of a community’s social vitality,” and foundational to grassroots democracy. Without them, people live isolated lives and take on narrow perspectives.

Much of the dialog on third places focuses on places that are appropriate to the lives of adults. There’s no reason to suspect third places might be any less important to youth. In fact, youth are traditionally excluded from the most common third places (too young to enjoy caffeine, not old enough for bars) leaving them fewer total available third places. In addition, youth contending with urban sprawl may have difficulty accessing third places, even if they exist. Even in 1989, Oldenburg saw that third places were on the decline; in recent years, virtual spaces have filled these voids. This puts youth in a particularly vulnerable position: there were less third places to begin with, there are less now than before, and accessing the few that are left can be challenging.

I’m concerned about youth-appropriate third places in general, and I admit skateparks are only one such place. However, I believe that skateparks offer particular and unique benefits for youth. Skateboarding offers an experience in unstructured play, different from organized sports. Skaters are free to find their own lines in a skatepark, linking features and tricks in a way not enforced (but informed) by the design of the park itself. Skateboarding also teaches youth how to fall and get back up, and fosters obsessive persistence in the pursuit of self-structured goals: many tricks require hundreds of tries for one “make.” Skateboarding is an individual sport at its core, but skateparks are environments where supportive communities can be actualized. Friends give advice and assistance, and skaters learn how to learn from their peers. Not only is there personal satisfaction to be gained from landing a trick, there is also the enthusiasm and encouragement coming from your peers at the park.

A photo from Skate Like A Girl’s yearly competition, Wheels of Fortune. Photo Thrasher Magazine.

Skateboarding can also create support in communities that might face steeper slopes. Skate Like a Girl is a national nonprofit that pushes for a more inclusive skate community and shares the joy of skating with (primarily) womxn-identifying youth. From their website: "Women and girls who learn how to skateboard learn more than just how to balance; girls who skateboard learn to push their own personal boundaries, test their capabilities and in the process, teach and encourage others. It is our firm belief that these attributes reap rewards outside of the skatepark and our immediate community. Girls and women who believe in themselves are more likely to raise their hand in the classroom, advocate for themselves in the workplace and attract the company of those who respect them.”

Skateparks are a particular type of third place for youth where they can make ‘weak ties’ that become friendships, participate in free, unstructured play, and develop skills and personal attributes that will serve them throughout the course of their lives. In addition, skateboarding has a comparatively low financial barrier to entry than other sports and activities.

Since skateparks are so important, it might be surprising to know that Portland has only eight officially-recognized, public skateparks: one for every 81,000 Portlanders. What might be more surprising is that the city of Portland was (most likely) the first in the world to have a comprehensive Skatepark System Plan. Local nonprofit Skaters for Portland Skateparks began the process in 2001, and legislation was passed in 2005. The plan called for 19 total skateparks of varying size from “neighborhood spots” to a central “destination” skatepark. In the 14 years since, only eight of the 19 have been built.

Skaters for Portland Skateparks’ System Map. Built skateparks in green, planned skateparks in red.

In my GIS class, we were asked to pose a research question, and answer that question with spatial analyses. I wanted to look at the current distribution of skateparks in Portland, and develop a characterization of who does and does not have access to this critical recreational resource. Here are a set of maps that help tell that story.

MAPS:

Borrowing a term from the food justice world, I wanted to create a map of “Skatepark Deserts” in Portland. The first step was creating the dataset- I mapped point features for each skatepark, and included some additional information (if built or planned, if built, what year). Next, I added information from the census bureau showing census tracts in the Portland area. This map was created to show each tract’s distance from a public skatepark. Dark shades of blue are tracts that contain or are within 1 mile of skateparks. Green scrubland represents a 2-mile, semi-accessible radius. Orange areas are “Skatepark Deserts,” more than 2 miles from a recognized skatepark.

Skatepark Deserts in Portland, OR. Map created by me.

If you’re interested in the GIS methodology, here you go. If not, you can skip to the next section. The first category, the darkest blue areas, were created by selecting all tracts that contained one of the skatepark points. The other analyses were performed using the centroids of each tract. For example, the light blue areas are census tracts whose centroid is within a 1 mile buffer of the skatepark point. The green areas, a 2 mile buffer. The desert scrublands are polygons that have at least some area within the 2 mile buffer. The desert sands are polygons that are completely outside the 2 mile buffer.

The first map showed the geographic distribution of skateparks in Portland, but it doesn’t tell a very complete story. I wanted to look at some of the demographic data and develop a fuller picture of who has access to skateparks. I created two maps using the same census tract blocks, but this time displayed them on the basis of poverty rate and median family income. The first map shows the percentage of families living at or below the poverty line: darker colors represent more families experiencing poverty. Census tracts containing skateparks are highlighted. For the most part, skateparks are sited in locations where they serve areas with high poverty rates. The smallest tract poverty rate is Glenhaven park at 11%, but neighbors two tracts with higher poverty rates. Ed Benedict, Luuwit, and Gateway are sited in areas with high poverty rates, between 28 and 30%.

Poverty Rate of skatepark-containing census tracts in Portland. Map created by me.

I also created a map showing median family income in each of these tracts. Darker colors represent greater amounts of income. The average of the median family income of all tracts containing skateparks is roughly $62,000. Southwest Portland is an interesting anomaly: the Holly Farm and Gabriel parks are in areas with close to six-figure median incomes, yet also have 14 and 19% poverty rates.

Median family income of skatepark-containing census tracts in Portland. Map created by me.

More GIS methodology: if you’re interested in the categories I used to classify this data, let me know and I can go into more depth!

So far, Portland has done a good job of siting skateparks in locations where they serve low and middle income communities. However, the Skatepark Desert effect is unresolved. Many areas in far-east Portland and in the downtown area have high poverty rates yet don’t have easy access to a skatepark.

Transit connectivity is an important consideration given the plain fact that school-aged youth are not able to drive. Some families experiencing poverty may be entirely transit dependent. Others may have personal vehicles but not the time to drive children across town. Transit connectivity gives youth the freedom to travel on their own and access third spaces like skateparks freely. I created a transit connectivity score by counting the number of bus lines that intersect a 1-mile radius circle around each skatepark. Assuming one mile is a reasonable distance to travel on a skateboard, the score represents how many buses someone could possibly board. This is another area where Portland does well- there are no values less than 10, and Gateway Park boasts access to 26 bus lines, not including the MAX Light Rail system.

Transit Connectivity of skateparks in Portland. Map created by me.

Finally, although transit connectivity is important, walkability offers an even higher level of access for youth. For this map, I used the same 1-mile buffers but counted the number of schools that lie within each circle. I’ll give Portland a passing score on this metric. Although some skateparks have low scores (Pier Park: 2), there are often other schools just outside the 1-mile radius.

Skateparks and Schools in Portland. Map created by me.

Here again, the skateparks that exist in Portland score well in terms of transit connectivity and proximity to schools, ensuring that youth have easy access to these resources. However, consider the number of schools that are not within the 1-mile circles: the majority of school aged youth are still in a skatepark desert.

Considering these maps together, it’s fair to say that Portland has done a good job, when constructing skateparks, to ensure that they serve low and middle income youth, are transit connected, and close to schools. However, there’s more work to be done. As I mentioned earlier, the city’s 2005 plan called for the construction of 19 skateparks. Skatepark construction hit the ground rolling with five parks in three years: Pier Park (2005), Glenhaven and Holly Farm (2007), Gabriel and Ed Benedict Parks (2008). Skaters for Portland Skateparks write “With the economic downturn in full swing, Portland Parks & Recreation offers that funding is no longer available for additional public skatepark projects within the Skatepark System Plan. Investment and momentum slows for the build up of the remaining 14 prospective skateparks.” The next skatepark wouldn’t be built until 2015 (Alberta), followed closely by Luuwit (2017) and Gateway (2018).

Gateway is Portland’s newest skatepark. Photo Skaters for Portland Skateparks.

Hopefully, we can capitalize on this second swing of skatepark momentum to fill in some of the gaps in the Skatepark Deserts map. One of the most promising proposals for an additional Skatepark is the Steel Bridge skatepark. This skatepark would serve a critical population in the downtown area, developing an urban brownfield currently created by the traffic ramp exit for the west side of the Steel Bridge. Here are some artistic renderings of what the skatepark might look like.

Photos Skaters for Portland Skateparks/Bryce Kanights, Renderings via DAO architecture.

I’m also inspired by the skate community in Boulder, Colorado, where their “Green Block Project” is proving that not every skate spot has to be a large-scale, “destination” park. At Valmont Park in Boulder, there was a large, unused pavilion. Skaters built a partnership with the city and with the University of Colorado Environmental Design program to design a DIY-style skatepark in this space. To quote from this article: "The initial idea of the green block project was to use 'dross-scapes' and otherwise unused land to develop pocket parks and allow the community to be involved in the process," said Raul Pinto with Satellite Boardshop in Boulder. "From students at CU environmental design program to young kids taking part in the construction being supervised by older skate community members, it really was a community effort."

Photos Boulder Daily Camera.

The skatepark features parking blocks, picnic tables, ledges, and other street-style features that allow skaters to practice street-style skills without criminal trespass. All of the features were donated by community members and the park was built and maintained by volunteers, meaning the effective cost to the city was only the cost of granting permission. The Parks Planning manager for the city of Boulder was quoted as saying “This is a perfect example of listening and supporting the community to build a great space for all ages and abilities to participate in a sport that is very popular in our community and especially with teens.”

The Steel Bridge skatepark would serve a critical area of Portland, improving the geographic distribution of skateparks in Portland as well as serving low-income populations. In addition to Steel Bridge, we should also push for the construction of smaller, neighborhood-scale skate spots. For example, even if the Steel Bridge park is completed, there would still remain a sizable skatepark desert for communities living along the I-5 Corridor in North Portland. Perhaps two smaller, Green-Block style spots could be constructed in this area to improve access.

Lately I’ve been spending more time at Ed Benedict park, closer to the Southeast PCC campus. I’ve never seen the park not busy, and I know that for myself and the others who are there, it’s helping meet a need in our lives. Portland Parks and Rec’s 2020 vision goals state: “Portland’s parks, public places, natural areas and recreational opportunities give life and beauty to our city. These essential assets connect people to place, self and others. Portland’s residents will treasure and care for this legacy, building on the past to provide for future generations.” Skateparks are mentioned only once in the 2020 goals: “Develop plans that are flexible and responsive to changing demographics and emerging trends (e. g., skateboards, BMX bikes and dogs).”

Creating these maps was critical to getting a handle on the state of skateparks in Portland. It’s clear we’ve done some things well in the past, and should continue to insist on access for low-income communities, transit connectivity, and school proximity. However, it’s time to take skateparks seriously as the critical recreational resource they are, and resolve some of our skatepark deserts.

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veridium · 6 years

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OC Interview Meme

I have been tagged by @dickeybbqpit to do this wonderful interview, this time I will be doing it for everyone’s favorite petite, sweet badass, Olivia!

I am tagging @orlesianbard, @wardenofmyheart, and @ladylike-foxes but if you have already done one already I’m sorry! whoops!

This is an UNNOFFICIAL face-claim that I am having stand-in for an image since I do not have access to playing DA:I right now in order to craft her character!

1. What is your name?

Well, that would be Olivia.

2. What is your real name?

...Olivia? Oh, I’m so silly, you’re probably suggesting my full name. That would be Olivia Berenice Sinclair.

3. Do you know why you were called that?

My father got to choose my first name, but my mother insisted that ‘Berenice’ be put in somewhere. It’s funny to think I was almost a Berenice, actually! I wonder what my nicknames would be? Hm. Well, my name also means ‘peaceful victory,’ which is a testament to my father’s virtues. If only he knew who he was naming.

4. Are you single or taken?

Oh my goodness, *laughs* how hilarious would it be if I were to tell you I had no sweetheart, if Cassandra heard? She would be so bothered. But, I suppose that means I should say I am happily in love with someone. A certain Seeker who looks very attractive when she’s sparring, and filing reports, and...well, most everything she does.

5. Have any abilities or powers? Besides the power of persuasion? Oh yes, silly, I am a Mage. I did not develop any particular elemental abilities when I was in the Circle -- I preferred Apothecary and Natural sciences. I can make most anything blow to smithereens, or turn to mush, or chemically break down. That is a hard-won skill, I must say. The construction personnel here are not particularly fond of me, now.

7. What’s your eye color?

They are a light hazel, though the Seeker insists they are honey-gold. Oh, whoops, *giggles* should I have not said that? Does that complicate her tough persona?

8. How about your hair color?

Blonde, like my father’s. It was very fair when I was small, but gradually it’s turned darker.

9. Have you any family members?

Hm, well, yes. My father passed many years ago, but I imagine my mother is still alive and well -- I would have received a letter dictating the contrary otherwise. She lives on our small estate in the northeastern countryside of Orlais. Then there are my relations on either side of my family tree, though I was never very close with them. My cousin was the only one I had contact with, and she has recently passed.

10. Oh? What about pets?

Oh, no no, not for me. I could scarcely find the time! I like going for walks out on the trails and watching the wildlife just fine. I don’t need any other tasks to manage. Although, I must say, it would be adorable to have Cassandra be around a puppy, don’t you think?

11. That’s cool I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like.

Oh, my, well. That would be...hm. Men who think they know more than me because they see I am pretty, and petite, and kind. Most Orlesian food, besides those little chocolate pastries, uh, I can’t remember the name. The Ambassador would know.

Other than that, I suppose unkind people? I really don’t pick things to dislike in my life, they find me.

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

Making explosive substances is always riveting. But, when I’m not hard at work, I enjoy bathing with candles, reading, walking around the fortress...sometimes, I sit by the fire with Varric and he tells me about his writing. Don’t tell Cassandra, but I know what happens in the next book of Swords & Shields.

13. Ever hurt anyone before?

Yes, yes, but is that really a rarity around here? I can’t find a person who is a tried and true pacifist. Also, if you have done the work I’ve done, and made end’s meat like I have had to, you find nonviolence to be an impossibility.

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

..Technically?

15. What kind of animal are you?

Animal? I could tell you the human speciation term, if that is what you are referring to. But, I am confused as to what you are referring to other than that.

16. Name your worst habits.

Oh, drats. I’m a terrible workaholic. Really, I could spend overnight hours here in the tower if I get a project that I an enthusiastic about. I am also very silly and clumsy, I’m afraid. If it isn’t precise measurements or recipes, I tend to knock into things or stumble.

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Plenty of people! My friends, Veronica, Naomi, and Theia, the Inquisitor. They are strong and wonderful souls, and I am so blessed to have them in my life. Cassandra, because she is so brilliant and just...well, just amazing. Vivienne, because she is so endlessly confident in herself. Dorian, because his humor is wonderful and he is terribly intelligent.

I suppose the better question would be who I don’t admire!

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

Hm. I love people, I do, but...I would be content never knowing the attention of a man ever again. With Cassandra I feel as though that is no longer a concern, but, I would say I prefer women.

19. Do you go to school?

Yes, I was a very attentive scholar. My mother sent me to school in the Capitol when I was of age, and before that I was tutored. I showed great promise in the performing arts, so when I got a bit older my schooling was focused on those talents most of all.

Truth be told, I consider my time in the Circle the most educationally nourishing time of my life. It was where I found something I was passionate about, and now I am here serving the Inquisition with all that I learned.

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

Marriage was one of the first virtues ever instilled in me, so I...hm, I really don’t know if I have an objective taste for it! I think if the conditions were right, and I felt like I wasn’t giving up a life I wanted to lead, it would be something I would consider.

Children...children, I don’t know. I don’t believe I learned from the right person how to mother, and thus I am not confident motherhood is my fate. There is so much of this world to see, and so much to do, besides be a mother. I could easily spend the rest of my days finding out what all those things are, and not bring a child into this world.

*Laughter* I just imagined what it would be like to proposition Cassandra about parenthood and just the image of her complexion turning to snow, it’s priceless! I may have to steal that question.

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

Besides the children that insist I be their best friend, I suppose not. I am a controversial person here, I believe. A former harlot and Circle Mage, who has no ensnared the heart of one of the most faithful Chantry figures who could be the next Divine? That does not exactly make me the world’s favorite person.

Surely, I don’t see why not, though. I consider myself a splendid person.

22. What are you most afraid of?

Veronica and Theia when they get into arguments. Naomi and I have to almost threaten freezing them to opposite walls in order to get them to cease. Other than that, I don’t have any real fears.

...Okay, well, my dreams would suggest otherwise, but I am not defined by my trauma as a Mage. I believe fears to be unexplored understandings.

23. What do you usually wear?

I have a couple dresses that are simple and practical, that I wear day-to-day. When I travel, it is typically to the Capitol, so I wear more fitted and formal attire. But, for all other excursions, I prefer a light patented armor I had specifically made for me. It is nimble, flexible, and sturdy -- and I must say, makes my butt end look positively delectable.

Nothing beats a masterful seamstress. Absolutely nothing!

24. Do you love someone?

Yes, I love many people! Well, alright, I struggled with romantic love for a long time. I had signed myself away to a life of no real romance, and no true love, to protect myself. I felt calloused from my upbringing along with my experiences as a rogue harlot.

Now, though? Love has been redefined for me, and I intend on exploring its depths for as long as I can. It helps to have someone who inspires such a new direction in your life.

25. When was the last time you wet yourself?

Oh, never! Never, ever, surely. How could you ask such a silly thing? *Giggles.*

Although, on many an occasion, I have stained my dresses in such a way where it looks like I had an accident. Those always make Cassandra chuckle when I come back from the tower.

26. Well, it’s not over yet!

What fun this has been, I’ve never been interviewed about my life in such a way before!

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class)

Well, being a Mage, I am pretty nomadic in life. But, I was born into a comfortable gentry life with my family, so, I could say I’ve experienced multiple areas of class in my short life. I don’t need wealth, though, as much as I have depended on its proximity. I like a quiet life where I can do what I want to do.

28. How many friends do you have?

Oh, many! Many dear friends in my life, whom I adore. There’s the girls, and then some of the allies in the Inquisition -- have you by chance met Cole? He’s such a dear. Ambassador Montilyet and I have much in common. Vivienne and I have struck a good reporte as well.

Friends are wonderful, and I am fortunate to have them in this stressful and uncertain time.

29. What are your thoughts on pie?

Oh! My goodness, you reminded me that tonight there is to be thindleberry pie in the kitchens. I have to bring several spices for it before dusk hits, or else it’ll be terribly bland.

Pie? Pie is delicious. The crust bottom is the best part.

30. Favourite drink?

Honeyed tea, just warm enough to make my tongue tingle!

31. What’s your favourite place?

Somewhere in the countryside with pastureland and woodlands. Oh, and anywhere the Seeker is. *giggles*

32. Are you interested in someone?

Yes, of course. I am interested in you, for example. Where did you come from, and why did you search me out of all people?

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy?

*Giggles* Precisely one-Seeker’s-hand’s worth.

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

Lake, because that would suggest there is lush land around it, and I love valleys and meadows where there are flowers and trees to enjoy.

35. What’s your type?

Someone honorable, who is passionate about what they do! I cannot be with anyone who is apathetic or uninterested in life’s intricacies. Someone who is kindhearted and has respectable virtues. Someone who loves to be impulsive and silly sometimes! There has to be sweetness to balance out life’s bitterness.

Oh, and I have to say, if they have dark hair and battle scars, that also melts my lard, if you know what I mean.

36. Any fetishes?

*Laughs* No! I don’t need them to be creative.

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive?

I prefer the term “Persuasive.” But also, I’m afraid I’m far too flexible and nimble to simply remain on a pillow. I have talents, and just because I’m no longer utilizing them to survive, doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy partaking in them.

Plus, it is thrilling to find out what makes someone with an assertive and dominant personality feel more...comfortable. *giggles*

38. Camping or indoors?

Camping, certainly! And with those wonderful fleece blankets that come out of the Hinterlands? Agh, there is nothing more beautifully engrossing.

39. Are you wanting the interview to end?

I mean, no, but I do have a kettle of jasper elixir on the fire and it is temperamental once it gets to a certain temperature. Oh, I should show you what it is when we are done here! It turns water into....well, you’ll see!

40. Now it’s over!

Oh, splendid! Let’s go, I have much to show you!

Thank you again for tagging me!

#oc stuff #olivia sinclair #oc meme #long post #I love bby Olivia

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ziamfanfiction · 6 years

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this week’s ziam ao3 feed

Hey y’all! welcome to the ao3 feed, this week we had some good updated works and new fics so go read them and remember to leave kudos and comments! Stay tune for next sunday for a new edition of the ao3 feed! :*

fics updated/posted from April 16th to the 22nd

A Growing Dysfunctional Family by the_less_i_know (wip)

I don't really know how to summarize this... but at its most basic the story is set in a world where humans and supernatural beings exist, except that humans of course are unaware of the supernatural world. It's a messy story where Liam and Zayn fall in love, but it's not solely focused on their relationship. This means that if you're just expecting to read about ziam only, then this story probably isn't for you. This story is not just about romantic love, but about friendship and family love too. It starts out with Normani, Zayn, and Louis, who kind of set the tone of the story and it all develops from there. Dinah is 27, Louis is 26, Zayn is 25, and Normani is 20. Liam and Niall are 23. Ally, Harry, and Lauren don't have any concrete ages so yeah.

Beauty Of Life by Larry_tattoos (wip)

"Look who we have here, the nerd of the school", I didn't need to turn around to see the face of the person mocking me cause i already knew him by just hearing his voice.

I wasn't even a nerd, the fact that i top my math class doesn't make me a nerd, I don't wear glasses, i don't wear funny looking shoes, i don't wear braces, i don't wear acne with pants up to my waist but in Zayn Malik's eyes i'm one.

I pretend to arrange my books in my satchel just not to have an eye contact with him, the truth was he terrified me. I could not imagine a day that i would not shiver just hearing his name.

"Wha- what do you wa- nt?", Him and his arrogant friends saw me struggle to form the words and i could hear them giggle.

Being bullied by the love of his life is not the worst pain for Liam, the worst pain is he has no way of erasing the love he feels.

So he let's destiny take his course until its gets too much and he is caught between letting the love go or holding onto it.

But what happens when the love of his life aka his bully starts to care?

Twelve Fic Outtakes/Deleted Scenes by watyonameisgurl (wip)

Pretty much exactly what the title says and what I've hinted at in numerous end notes of the main fic for like forever - a collection of outtakes/deleted scenes (and possibly even some eventual alternate scenarios if I feel up to exploring that) from the Twelve fic verse

[DO NOT READ if you haven't finished the first fic in the verse yet]

Part 3 of Twelve Verse

Intoxicate Me, Mesmerize Me, Obliterate Me by eternallyunleashed (wip)

There was a certain heat obtained from rebellion that even the actual throes of heat never sparked. Keeping up an image of perfection; being the good kid, the perfect son to the Mayor and Chief of Police, the city of Lincoln’s sweetheart omega, it was all taxing to Zayn. Walking the thin line of danger was exhilarating. Was it coincidental that this danger happened to be an attraction to a certain alpha who was none other than the leader of the South Side Vipers gang, who seemed to despise him and the part of town he came from? Probably not. But when had anything ever stopped Zayn?

Within You Without You by PersephoneJones (wip)

Liam started to swipe up to unlock his phone, and then paused, thumb hovering over the screen. He’d been angry at Zayn for a very long time. Probably still was, to be honest. It wasn’t even about him leaving the band. It was that Zayn hadn’t just walked away from his job. He’d walked away from their friendship. Five years of togetherness and camaraderie, and what Liam (and just about everyone else) had thought was a special bond.

Or, the one where Zayn dipped out, sank the Ziam ship, and didn't even bother to call. Can Liam forgive him? Does he want to? And just why have the two of them always been so cuddly with each other, anyway?

dRuNk/Like I Would/Let Me/Dusk Till Dawn by watyonameisgurl

“Happy birthday, I guess,” Zayn says, trying and failing to keep the bitterness out of his voice at the fact that this is his third call and Liam still hasn’t answered. At the fact that he’s with her. At a party that Zayn wasn’t invited to...

Or: A series of drabbles based on the themes of the aforementioned songs…basically my headcanons for the moments that inspired these songs (these aren’t songfics though)

Two Point 0 by watyonameisgurl (wip)

“Because healing is messy and ugly and slow and doesn’t just happen in a progressive line. Sometimes...sometimes it’s gonna feel like you’re going backwards or sideways or every direction but forward, and you might not ever feel the same as you were, you might always be different from the person you used to be, but sometimes that’s okay...”

Zayn looks out at the sea of faces staring back at him, fights down the anxiety still threatening to overwhelm him even though he’s almost through now. He’d known this wouldn’t be easy, but there’s so many of them, looking to him. And seeing all of them here, now, in front him—even if it still isn’t all of them—is a bit overwhelming. As he looks around though he catches sight of Liam in the sea of faces, smiling proudly, and that’s all it takes. He can already feel himself relaxing, powering through the last of what he wants and needs to say. Counting down the moments until he’s back by Liam’s side again, safe and sound and that’s what gets him through.

[Or: Zayn keeps healing, Liam does too. But it’s not easy when there are so many forces still so determined not to let them. And fighting them alone is one thing. But the problem is it’s not just Zayn's fight anymore.]

Part 2 of Twelve Verse

All the different kinds of flowers by Androgyne, ZoeRavenclaw28 (wip)

When Liam, the future Tsars right-hand man, meets Zayn, the son of an Emir, his world turns upside-down.

A story about late-night chess games, scents, herbs, and so so many flowers.

Part 2 of All The Different Kinds Of Flowers

Baby I'll Never Leave You (If You Keep Holding Me This Way) by CrazyMofos (wip)

It was 2015 I am Liam

The King Of Queens by LHSHIP (wip)

Zayn was just like every other fangirl, except he was a boy. To be exact, the only boy in a girls’ only world, the Liam Payne fandom. His internet friends - all girls of course - thought he should be referred to as "The King Of Queens" apparently being the only boy who openly drooled over singer Liam Payne. And he liked it, not only because it was his dad’s favorite TV show but also because he'd always called all of his girls “queens” to make them feel special.

So yes, he was one of those totally obsessed fans who basically spent all of their time on Twitter because of a super famous and successful celebrity who didn’t even know about their existence. And sometimes Zayn had to deal with his real life and real problems such as the upcoming class reunion and a missing date.

And maybe he was a just a tiny little bit of in love with Liam Payne...

Half Of The Stories by CamelotHarris (wip)

'Half Of The Stories'from Louis' Just Like You. These stories are about after Zayn left One Direction, five boys' life and what will they think of something about themselves . In the story there are part of the content is real. And will repeat some events about them . Now they are going through a lot of things, so I don't know when to end it.

iT's YoU by SpookyFaces (wip)

Popular, handsome and athletic Liam Payne has nothing in common with Zayn Malik, the bad-boy of the school, who wears leather jackets, combat boots and spends his lunch breaks with a cigarette and a sketchbook in his hands. There is something mysterious, something strange about him. Rumors say the half of his family has tragically died a few years ago. And there is something tragic about him. The way he walks alone in the hallways, the way he barely talks to anyone, except his stupid, curly friend.

Liam hates him. He hates his honey-colored eyes, his stupidly long eyelashes, his unbelievably long fingers, his raven-black hair and mesmerizing lips.

Yeah, he obviously hates him.

"Obviously" - Louis agrees, wiggling his eyebrows.

I remember every look upon your face by cpiklor (wip)

Zayn thought his summer break was going to be his most boring one yet - his new job was working him to levels he'd never experienced prior, which meant he rarely had free time away from the greasy deli kitchen to mentally prepare himself for his upcoming second year in college.

Until the deli got a new employee. Liam.

Liam was one of the hardest-working employees in the grocery store, Zayn could tell already. He listened intently to every instruction he was given, and nearly perfected everything - whether it be breading chicken, slicing cheese, or just chatting up the customers during lulls.

Liam was beautiful in every sense of the word - golden-brown hair with deep brown eyes, tall, slim, and fuck, he was toned. His biceps were noticeable even through their chunky cloth work shirts. He was ridiculously kind and hilarious, too. Everything made him laugh, and Zayn had yet to witness him in a bad mood.

The complete opposite of Liam, Zayn was broody and shy, with black hair, olive and a love for quiet spaces. He had a killer bitch face, which made him less approachable, and no wonder Liam wasn't sure about him. He could do better than someone like Zayn.

Zayn was fucked.

Beyond Words by StoryAnonGuy33 (wip)

"Some things are beyond words" Liam added lightly, Zayn laying back down on Liam's chest. "They are, aren't they?" He commented back, Liam smiling and kissing the top of his head. "You bet babe"

Or when Liam and Zayn attend the same college and with budding and cemented feelings between the two, will things turn out the way they want?

#lau speaks #ziam #ziam fanfiction #weekly ao3 feed

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flowers-in-your-dustbin · 6 years

Note

Do ‘em all

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

I think physical attraction is a contributing factor just as much as anything else is, it’s not the most important but I think anyone’s lying if they say looks don’t play at least some part.

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Definitely. Which even I’m surprised I’m now saying haha.

3. Are you a virgin?

Nope.

4. Are you in a relationship?

Yes!

5. Are you in love?

Very much so.

6. Are you single this year?

Nope!

7. Can you commit to one person?

I can indeed.

8. Describe your crush

The most gorgeous, beautiful, meme-queen and emo you ever did see. Luckily for me she ain’t a crush, she’s more than that and mine

9. Describe your perfect mate

I just did.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Maybe not ‘love’ but a definite powerful connection of such, without sounding too cringe.

11. Do you ever want to get married?

It’d be nice someday.

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

Depends on the betrayal. Probably could pretend to on the surface, but not so forgiving underneath.

13. Do you get jealous easily?

Not as easily as I thought I would, I joke that I am more often than I actually really am haha.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

I fancy my girlfriend very much so xo

15. Do you have any piercings?

Just the lobes but they’re closed up now practically now haha

16. Do you have any tattoos?

I do, just the one but many many more I hope.

17. Do you like kissing in public?

Depends where the in public place is, not constantly but the occasional is pretty adorable

20. Do you shower every day?

Yeah

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

I hope considering she said she did over 9 months ago!

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

I’d like to think so

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Already have lmao, wouldn’t dream of cheating.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Could be nice! Engaged at least

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

Yeah!

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Indeed they have

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

Yeah lol

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Not that I’m aware of

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Not my style thanks

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

Nah, but liposuction could be good hahah would never actually do it tho

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Oh yes

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

I think!

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

nope nope, gold star bitches :)

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

yeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeye

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yeah!

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yep!

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

‘Disliked’ may be a better term, if I can use that then yes haha

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Haha yeah

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yasssss

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

Nope, my writing skills aren’t that impressive

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

Yea boi

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

Right, we timed this before and my gal’s hands wander first but I also have the hormones of a teenage boy so probs 0.5 seconds at the right kinda time if you catch my drift

43. How long was your longest relationship?

this one now! so nearly 10 months and counting

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

technically my gal now is my first girlfriend, was very close to another (unfortunately) but too closeted to want to go further. Had a couple of ‘talking to’ people that never got official too.

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

046. How many times did you have sex last year?

can’t count lol

47. How old are you?

Eighteen

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Whatever floats your goat, you do you… etc…

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

Her personality/cheekiness

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

My girlfriend is my first true love so I’d be like wtf are you apologising for get in here NOW!

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

Just the one yeah x

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

A fair few, there’s only so many times you can get taken advantage of until you run.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Who knows?

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

55. Share a relationship story.

Mine and my girlfriend’s ‘song’ is quite a lil’ indie one, so I went and found whether I could buy the single. Couldn’t find it anywhere, but when I did it said it may be sold out… I emailed and they had TWO left! I bought them both of course, what a coincidence. I hope to get mine framed for us one day for in our house lol

56. State 8 facts about your body

1: phat

2: not as phat as previous

3: scars

4: innie

5: blonde hair

6: blue eyes

7: second degree burns have left pretty permanent tan lines for the past year

8: bruises

57. Things you want to say to an ex

blocked.

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

1. thoughtfulness, 2. creativity, 3. make me laugh, 4. fooooood, 5. make me feel appreciated

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

look at my pp cba

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

like a year

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

their taste in memes/vines ;) jks, their eyes

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

dunno if I can write this as I have irl mutuals here hahah so I’ll keep that a secret

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

hand stuff, mouth stuff, gay stuff

64. What is your definition of cheating?

kissing/fucking/anything with romantic intent not for the person you’re with

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

routine is pointless, spice it up

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

the role-play where we don’t role-play lmao cringe

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

anything involving exploring, adventuring, good/deep conversation etc.

68. What is your sexual orientation?

the biggest lesbian you ever did see

69. What turns you off?

ignorance

70. What turns you on?

starts with ‘girl’ ends with ‘friend’

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

lol can’t relate I have night terrors instead of those clearly

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

my name ;) amongst ‘fuck’

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

continue to look after me and tolerate me haha

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

brunette

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

oh god there’s so many contenders all from one (the best) gal, some include surprising me at work/college as well as getting me a bear and spraying it with her perfume, there’s so many more tho wow

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

probs surprising my baby on her birthday at midnight with flowers (on a SCHOOL NIGHT!?!?)

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

as long as its legal and not nonce-y it’s got the all clear from me

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

can’t put that on here sorry hah

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

nothing really jumps out, not sure

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

today

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

1. my gal, 2. ruby rose, 3. Lynn gunn, 4. Frances bean Cobain, 5. Hannah Hart (always have always will leave me alone)

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

my girlfriend I think

83. Who was your first kiss with?

my girlfriend

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

not that we were together but I multitude of reasons

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

I kind of am! she slid into the DMs (cringe-ing at myself)

#asks

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michaelandy101-blog · 3 years

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50 YouTube Stats Each Video Marketer Ought to Know in 2021

New Post has been published on http://tiptopreview.com/50-youtube-stats-every-video-marketer-should-know-in-2021/

50 YouTube Stats Each Video Marketer Ought to Know in 2021

In 2005, once I was 10 years previous, a child from my neighborhood was bear hugging a fallen tree trunk that bridged throughout our creek and yelled, “I better not see this on YouTube!”

That was the primary time I’d ever heard of YouTube. And it undoubtedly wasn’t the final time I’d hear about it. YouTube has skilled explosive development because it was founded in an office garage in 2005. Only one yr after its inception, it was attracting greater than 65,000 new video uploads and 100 million video views per day. A few months later, the high-growth startup was acquired for over $1 billion by a titan within the tech trade — Google.

Since then, YouTube has opened up avenues for manufacturers to promote on their movies and, in flip, let content material creators earn a dwelling simply by making movies. This potential for monetization has incentivized content material creators to craft probably the most partaking movies attainable and host them on the platform, which has enabled YouTube to change into the second most trafficked website and the second largest search engine in the world.

As a video marketer, you already understand how essential building a YouTube presence is for reinforcing your movies’ and model’s visibility. However in the event you simply began your model’s YouTube channel or want some assist convincing your boss to double down in your YouTube efforts, we’ve acquired you lined.

Take a look at these stats in regards to the platform’s cell utilization, its demographics, subscriber development, basic utilization, and historical past that may allow you to construct your YouTube following or persuade your boss to focus extra of your efforts on the video platform.

YouTube Stats Each Video Marketer Ought to Know in 2021

What’s the most-watched video on YouTube?

2. “Baby Shark Dance” by Pinkfong Children’ Songs & Tales is the most-watched video on YouTube. It has obtained over 7.91 billion views since 2016.

YouTube Cell Stats

four. On cell units alone, YouTube reaches more adults aged 18-49 during prime time than any cable network does in an average week.

5. 75% of adults report watching YouTube on their cell units.

6. Greater than 70% of YouTube watch time is generated from cell units.

7. Over 50,000 years of product review videos have been watched on mobile devices since 2017.

Eight. In 2020, YouTube was the fourth most popular IOS app after ZOOM, TikTok, and Disney+.

YouTube Demographics Stats

9. Over 77% of 15-35 year-old American internet users watch movies on YouTube.

10. Over 67% of American internet users who are aged 56 and over watch movies on YouTube.

11. Over 50% of YouTube’s audience is female.

12. 39.4% of social media users in the U.S. anticipated their YouTube utilization to extend considerably whereas staying at dwelling.

13. 24.3% of social media users in the U.S. anticipated their YouTube utilization to extend barely whereas staying at dwelling.

14. 70% of millennial YouTube users watched a YouTube video to learn to do one thing new or find out about one thing they’re fascinated by.

15. 16.6% of YouTube’s website visitors are from the USA.

16. YouTube attracts the most visitors from the USA, India, and Japan.

17. YouTube is available in more than 100 countries.

18. YouTube is offered in 80 different languages.

YouTube Subscriber Progress Stats

19. The variety of channels with greater than 1 million subscribers elevated by greater than 65% since last year.

20. The variety of YouTubers who earn six figures per yr has elevated by more than 40% since last year.

21. The variety of YouTubers who earn 5 figures per yr has elevated by more than 50% since last year.

22. The highest ten YouTubers earned 30% more revenue from June of 2019 to June of 2020 in comparison with the earlier yr.

23. T-Collection, a Hindi music channel, is the most popular YouTube channel with 171 million subscribers, adopted by PewDiePie with 109 million subscribers.

24. The most popular branded YouTube channel is LEGO, which has over 10.04 billion views.

YouTube Utilization Stats

25. YouTube is the world’s second largest search engine.

26. YouTube is the second most trafficked website behind Google.

27. YouTube customers collectively watch over 1 billion hours of content daily.

28. Watch time for shopping-related movies grew greater than 5X in the U.S. between 2016 and 2018.

29. The majority of the most popular YouTube videos are music movies.

30. YouTube is the most popular music streaming site.

31. 70% of viewers say that YouTube makes them extra conscious of recent manufacturers.

32. Viewers say they’re twice as likely to buy something they saw on YouTube.

33. Viewers are four times more likely to use YouTube to seek out details about a model, product, or service (vs. different platforms).

34. YouTube customers watch more than 180 million hours of content on TV screens on daily basis.

35. YouTube customers are three times more likely to prefer watching a YouTube tutorial video in comparison with studying the product’s directions.

36. “Relaxing” and “feeling entertained” are the top two reasons viewers watch YouTube.

37. Rest movies like cleaning soap slicing and slime enjoying experienced a 70% increase in watch time in 2018.

38. Comedy, music, leisure/popular culture, and “how to” are the four most popular content categories on YouTube.

YouTube Historical past Stats

39. “YouTube.com” was activated on February 14, 2005.

40. “Me at the zoo” was the first video uploaded to YouTube on April 25, 2005.

41. Google purchased YouTube for $1.65 billion on October 9, 2006.

42. YouTube launched InVideo ads in December 2007.

43. YouTube streamed the United States presidential debates for the primary time in 2012.

44. The youngest profitable YouTuber is Ryan ToysReview, who’s a Eight-year previous boy who makes $22 million a yr and has 22 million subscribers.

45. “Gangnam Style”’s surge in reputation broke the video’s view counter.

46. YouTube gives a free space in Los Angeles the place YouTubers with over 10,000 subscribers can be taught, join, and create movies with one another.

47. The first YouTube video that reached one million views was a 2005 Nike advert that featured soccer star, Ronaldinho.

48. The YouTube video that received the most views in 24 hours is BTS’s “Dynamite” music video, which attracted 101.1 million views in a single day.

49. The most liked video on YouTube is the music video for the music “Despacito” by Luis Fonsi that includes Daddy Yankee. It has obtained over 42.71 million likes and boasts an 89.65% like share.

50. YouTube’s personal YouTube Rewind 2018 video is the most disliked video on the platform. It has obtained over 18 million dislikes and owns an 86.38% dislike share.

Editor’s observe: This publish was initially revealed in February 2019 and has been up to date for comprehensiveness.

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