Random Take or whatever. But I’m re-watching some supernatural episodes and I was so interested in Magda from S12E4 becoming a reoccurring character??? Like the connection she and Sam have in that episode, the fatherly & daughter bond they share about their psychic powers, that little moment she and Sam have in the ambulance where he says that she can call him for anything at anytime???? Please, it’s giving Sabriel love-child. So sad she got killed by an evil Brit in the end :(

modern au and esen’s honkers are haunting the instagram feed

i think i’ve learned a lot when it comes to not applying my own values to the media i consume

for my script analysis class yesterday, we discussed two gentleman from verona, and nearly every classmate of mine was up in arms about how sexist the story is.

and i'm not saying it's not, or that it's not infuriating to read. but i'm also not putting my energy into getting upset about something written 500 or so years ago. and i'm not about to put my own beliefs onto these characters that are not me. i'm going to let their choices speak for themselves, and interpret it in the context of the story.

all that said, this now brings me to the point of alastor in episode 5, and how viscerally people are responding to it. those of you up in arms about the choices he’s making, and the violent threat he gave husk, you’re missing the entire point of his character, of this place they’re in, of the story being told. he’s an overlord, and he became an overlord by killing much bigger overlords and broadcasting their deaths over the radio.

HE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON.

if you started this show with the belief that every character working the hotel is a good person, you’re in the wrong place. watch the good place if you’re looking for a good wholesome story about getting dead sinners into heaven, because that’s not what this show is about.

you’re more than welcome to hate him after seeing the way he exerted power over a being whose soul he owns, but you’re doing the media you’re watching a disservice by writing it off so quickly. if you don’t like to be uncomfortable watching media, watch something else. this is an uncomfortable show, it handles uncomfortable topics, and it’s going to be an uncomfortable ride, and if you’re not up for something like that, then you should take a break from it and pick up something else. you don’t have to get online and defend your own ideals while you watch a show that goes against your ideals.

I originally wanted to have Hanako do a cute giggle and I made her menacing, a bit ooc for her but alas

ao3’s down so i have to resort to medieval forms of gay smut (dostoevsky)

sorry! but i am never going to be okay with the covert unless it is reformed significantly. maybe it doesn’t fit the ‘technical definition’ of a cult but it is nonetheless a harmful creed. the person being baptized in 3x01 was a child no older than 16. if you are being asked to follow the way or leave, sure- you’re given agency. but if it’s the only community you know? you’re staying. for din, especially pre-grogu, it wasn’t a choice. if he took off his helmet and became an apostate, he would lose the only family he has ever known. do you not see how fucked up that is?

it’s unfair to compare it to a religion which requires full covering at all times, because even those religions allow you to be unclothed in private, among your family members, and in emergency scenarios such as a life-threatening head injury. there is no inaccessible repentance process if you do not abide by those rules. whereas the creed requires the helmet to remain on at all times (in s1, din said it could not be removed in front of a living creature, but that exception wasn’t specified in the armorer’s questioning in bobf or in the baptism from 3x01). bathing in the living waters isn’t like going to confessional or praying. it is something that was considered impossible by the members of the covert. redemption for apostates was not a reality until din proved them wrong.

the covert also reminds me too much of mormonism to ever feel comfortable defending it. i felt sick watching the first episodes of s3 when din kept talking about how he was an apostate who needed to be redeemed. a fucking apostate. for taking off his helmet to save the life of his child. for letting his child see his face. for that, they were prepared to exile him from the covert, knowing full well it is the only community he has ever known. you know what’s so scary about leaving the mormon church? if you’ve grown up in it, most of the time your social network is comprised only of other church members. you’re encouraged to avoid making friends with people who may lead you astray—because they drink coffee or alcohol, smoke, swear (i’m not kidding). you remain in this small bubble, and after you are baptized at age 8 (which is the age they decide you have agency and are capable of sinning), you second-guess every choice you make. i cried because i could never remember to say my prayers or read my scriptures and i knew i needed to repent for my sins. and when i started questioning my beliefs, i was so terrified of facing the truth because i thought my mom would no longer want me in her life. i distanced myself from many friends to avoid their judgement. i knew if i left, there was no going back. i would be inserting a wedge between me and the other people of my faith with whom i had grown.

for much of his life, din has known only the covert. he was brought up as a foundling and he knew only of the creed. he was taught that the mandalorian armor belonged only to those who followed the creed and rejected the idea that there could be a mandalorian who may not hold the same beliefs. we know he was a very lonely person before grogu. the covert was the only family he ever had. how is it a choice, then? “you may leave at any time you wish,” but if he takes off his helmet, he is an apostate and he must find a new home, a new family, a new belief system. he would have no one. what kind of a choice is that? in what world would he ever want to take off his helmet?

so yeah, the covert is not just a religious sect hiding from persecution. they are, at best, a high-demand religion, where allowing your child to see your face is an unfathomable act that necessitates redemption. if din djarin remains part of the covert as it stands, that’s extremely disappointing.

T-minus one week to my birthday! My mom got annoyed at how vague I’ve been in past years when asked what I want, so this year I dutifully made a well-organized list of every material possession I want. It’s all perfumes. A two-page essay full of carefully organized links and descriptions and price ranges of every single perfume on my wishlist.

She sat me down the other day and asked if I wanted to like get a tattoo instead, because she does not want to buy me perfume. Hey, I was just doing as she asked. 😅😂

got the posting anxiety bad tonight

Could John start hurting himself in trial 3?

TW FOR SELF HARM

So I’ve got a lot of theories for trial 3 and stuff but this is the one I want to talk about first since it was the one that stuck out to me most yet I haven’t seen people talking about the possibility

I actually wrote about this theory quite a while ago which I’ll just link to but I definitely do think it’s very likely but hasn’t been discussed much.

For a brief summary of the post I made it’s a theory on how John may have self harming desires but doesn’t physically hurt himself as he’s afraid of hurting Mikoto. Basically it’s how the reason why Mikoto’s clothes are so tattered is because John has been ripping them apart in another way to harm himself but not physically hurt Mikoto. Heck, there’s very clearly bite marks on the clothes so I highly doubt it was from the fight with Kotoko. And as well as just ripping his clothing it probably explained the breakdowns John is said to have at night especially in that one minigram where Es heard on it and there was a lot of crashing sounds and stuff breaking, even ripping sounds which definitely matches with what I was saying. So John does all of this in a method to self harm as a stress reliever but not physically harm Mikoto.

So here’s the trial 3 theory. As of recently Mikoto has stopped denying John’s existence as everything he’s seen in heard it’s just too much for him to deny anymore. And instead of that he’s began to hate John so much and blame him for every bad thing that’s happened, even going as far to blame him for what happened to Mahiru even though it was very clearly Kotoko’s fault. And with John, he loves Mikoto. Dedicates his entire existence to him and despite all the constant trauma and suffering he’s endured the only thing that keeps him going is the possibility that Mikoto will love him and praise him for saving him.

“Hey now, I saved you, right? So why in the hell are you crying?

Cling to me, hoist me up as your "savior", stand up and sing out your gratitude, that'd be good.”

Judging by these lyrics, it seems John is somewhat aware that Mikoto is denying his help but still wants to believe it. Even Neoplasm he says how Mikoto’s entrusting him with his heart, which can either be he doesn’t fully know about the hatred or is denying it. But what I’m really worried about is how much Mikoto loathes John in trial 3 and what he could do.

As I said earlier John dedicates his existence to Mikoto and I couldn’t explain how John may feel after he would realise his hatred for Mikoto  aside from his entire existence being denied. I already discussed this in another theory but for John to so deeply love Mikoto and dedicates everything to protecting him and only holding on with the possibility of approval and being told he did a good job, only to be met with unimaginable hatred from the person who he idealises as someone who could never hate anyone must be devastating on so many levels for John and… you can tell where I’m getting at here.

So what would happen next? Could perhaps John feel so betrayed by Mikoto that he could go to actually physically hurting himself out of conflicting feelings around Mikoto? Loving him like that but feeling so betrayed and hurt that he just tries not to care about Mikoto any more and harms himself out of both previously established coping mechanisms and spite?

It’s hard to tell here, as John is one of those characters who it’s very hard to predict what would happen next so who knows what he might do. I just believe this may be the most likely based off things that have been implied and established.

And just to address a potential elephant in the room is I highly doubt John would disappear in trial 3. That’s not how it works, and just because Mikoto may not be Guilty any more doesn’t mean he would be relieved from all stress so John definitely would still have his purpose. And I think it’s most likely why John claimed that he would disappear was that he believed Es hated him and wanted him gone, so he claimed that he would disappear if Mikoto were to be voted Innocent as a way to sway Es to that verdict. And there are lines such as “I’ll play dead even if I’m alive right?” And “can’t get rid of me now” that definitely imply that he will stay or perhaps pretend to go dormant which perhaps would be interesting as we’ve seen him masking as Mikoto in the minigrams before so it would be interesting if he does that in trial 3 perhaps. And side note even though this is kinda cheating theory wise but it would be stupid to remove John from the story like that so uhhh.

Work has given me the opportunity to be fired for the funniest/stupidest reason I’ve heard of in a long time (like completely disproportionate to the forbidden deed) and I’m so tempted.

at this point i feel like i can’t not take post practice selfies but i jus look so cute i can’t resist 🤭🤭

ok I finished the sunlit man!!! honestly not my fav I feel like I lost interest along the way tbh but I was excited to see space age cosmere. and of course the kaladin and bridge four mentions were Very Important to me

does duolingo actually seem helpful?

I think if u already know the language somewhat, it’s a good way to refresh (altho I wouldn’t solely depend on it as the only source). I wouldn’t say that u could learn a completely new one from it, unless you’re very good at picking up grammar rules just from some sentences, and even then not as the only source.

Altho when I took a swedish course (in university (it’s mandatory lol)), there was someone who was actually good at it and they said it was bc of the over 1000 day swedish streak in duolingo. So it could work for some (but also I’m assuming they didn’t start swedish from scratch with duolingo, bc it’s mandatory here from elementary school onward)

Also Uriel surviving means he would have met Jack eventually and that would have been so fascinating and funny to me. TFW is concerned with ‘oh no will Jack turn out to be good or evil?’ which is mostly just code for ‘how human is he going to act?’ Meanwhile Uriel is babysitting him like Crowley from Good Omens going, “and remember, we may crush humans underfoot because they are destructive and terrible, and we are angels.”

you’ve heard of homoerotic tension…… but have you heard of its rare, frightening cousin….. normal, regular ass tension

All the posts about the old Far Cry 5 websites were queued, and I ended up using this opportunity to (sort of) take a month-long “vacation” from Tumblr, or at least from manually posting on this blog.

I realized, probably because looking for and comparing all the archives on the Wayback Machine, taking, cropping, and sometimes combining dozens of screenshots, finding all the text content, in some cases in the source code of the pages, and copy-pasting it, saving and organizing everything, and actually writing those 25+2 posts took at least an entire week of work, that I apparently needed this break :’)

But I feel well-rested, and this month has turned out to be very productive for me so… hi, I’m back (and happy to be)! :D