#matthias helvar x you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

witchthewriter · 1 year

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

Warnings: mentions of characters’ trauma, minor spoilers??? I’ll try and keep them limited

a/n: I’ll try to stay as spoiler free as possible! I loved season 2, some bits were a kinda touch and go, but overall I think they made it really interesting. Also I’m not including Wylan, sorry! I love him but ... I just don’t wanna add him...

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿

𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲: Going along with a plan that Kaz had created, your role was to help the Crows on an extremely difficult heist. But your job somehow ended up being linked with your crush; the very crow that makes your heart flutter. Your persona is their new wife/husband, who has a “rich father”. Meaning that you have to stay in a nearby hotel as a couple on their honeymoon.

𝐊𝐚𝐳

・His faked joyful smile dropped once the bellboy left the room

・Watching him, you saw his calculated movements - the way he rested his cane against the desk, and took two steps to sit down on the bed

・His gloves stayed on as he said, “I’m sorry there’s one bed. Too suspicious otherwise.” Kaz’s tone was even, but it hitched on the word ‘suspicious’.

・You knew Kaz hated physical contact, hells, he hated when someone stood too close

・In that moment, you didn’t know how to respond, surely Kaz, Bastard of the Barrel, wasn’t going to sleep on the floor. The absence of a couch was obvious, and you knew he had to sleep somewhere comfortable because of his leg

“Kaz, I can take the floor. I know physical contact isn’t an easy thing for yo-”

“No, I’m fine.” He cut you off, a sharp look in his eye. You could see that his mind was somewhere else. Somewhere dark.

・The night was awkward to start off with, like two magnets being pulled and pushed apart

・But then you asked about the plan - getting all the details. Well, what you thought were all the details.

・He loosened up when he was able to talk about logical subjects

・Once you realised that, the atmosphere started to ease and you could see Kaz start to relax ... (his version of relaxing)

・With each hour a piece of Kaz’s clothing was taken off. His jacket, his shoes. As if he was slowly getting ready for bed.

・There was always something heavy in the air though, like something was unspoken. It hung like grey clouds, ready to let rain fall

・But time ticked by, and eyes began to feel heavy

・At first you both laid down and kept a pillow between you, but then there was hardly any room to move.

・So you came up with the idea that you could sleep the other way. Instead of your heads at the top of the bed, they now rested on the sides. It meant your feet were dangling off the side, but it gave you and Kaz a lot of room.

“Do not tell anyone about this.”

“Kaz...you know I wouldn’t.”

・His voice was low when he said: “I know.”

・In the morning, when you awoke, Kaz was already awake. Already planning.

“I got you some breakfast.”

𝐈𝐧𝐞𝐣

・It was you who said you would sleep elsewhere.

・You were so close to falling in love with Inej, and she had no clue. The sore joke was that she felt the exact same. And neither of you thought the other even cared.

“It would be too obvious if we weren’t sleeping in the same bed. I have a feeling they’re already suspicious of something.”

・Even if that wasn’t the truth, you didn’t care. When was an opportunity like this going to arise?

・Kaz didn’t need either of you tonight, so you were both able to unwind. But past experiences meant neither of you could fully do so unless you were in your trusted homes.

・The room was quite spacious; painted white and pale blue, it felt completely different to hotels in Ketterdam (which were dark, dingy and usually had a weird smell.)

・This one had a balcony that overlooked the famous lake that ran through the clean city

・The bathroom matched the colours of the rest of the room, with a rectangular window that let in the morning light but was high enough that no one would be able to see in.

・It was a gorgeous room; airy, light and inviting. Exacly what you thought a summer holiday would be

“Nina would absolutely love this,” you called from the lounging room. Where stacks of books, games and other various entertaining devices lay.

“I almost feel bad...” Inej trailed off, appearing right behind you (scaring the sh*t out of you).

・There was a wordless conversation between the two of you, where you hinted at sleeping on the lounge. But Inej shook her head.

・Too suspicious. What if they walk in?

・You were glad she was okay with it

・And when the night was late, and you couldn’t stop yawning, Inej laughed and motioned toward the bed

“You don’t snore do you?” You asked, with a wry grin. You knew the Wraith didn’t snore. She barely made a sound during her waking hours.

“Of course I do-” she replied, catching onto the irony

・When you were in bed, Inej faced outward, but for some reason you decided to grasp onto this opportunity

“Inej, why are you a Crow?”

・From then on you kept talking. Face to face, her brown eyes capturing yours.

・You both spoke low, as if someone was trying to hear

・Neither of you wanted to stop talking, or to stop asking the next question. Like either of your lives depended on it, you kept trying to know more.

・It wasn’t until Inej stifled a large yawn that you both decided sleep was needed

・And the next morning, you found yourself in the same position - facing Inej, and she hadn’t moved either. But your hands must have drifted in the night, because they had clasped together

𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐚𝐬

・Ever the gentleman, he gestures for you to have the bed. And without a couch in the room, he offers to sleep on the floor - far away from you to be as respectful as possible.

“Don’t be stupid,” you retort, flinging yourself on the bed. You pat the space next to you and he blushes. Deeply.

・The giant of a man moved the bags out of the way and flared his nostrils

“Have we not established a relationship based on trust, dear Helvar?”

・He rolled his eyes at you. An occurance that happened all too often.

・But you knew him. More than he thought you did, however, you were always still blown away by his gentle ways. There wasn’t a time when he didn’t open a door for you, or helped you up or down from high places. But his kindness didn’t stop there

・He always stood in front of you whenever there was danger.

・And made sure you were never left alone in dangerous situations.

・If someone tried anything with you, Matthias was there to step in.

・Jesper started calling him your bodyguard

・And although all these things happen, you still didn’t think Matthias was attracted to you.

・You were never the traditional beauty. So you didn’t think someone like Matthias, who was this godlike man, would ever be interested in you

・And the fact that you were his pretend wife/husband, created endless flutters in your stomach. A feeling that was foreign, until you met Matthias.

“Are you hungry?” Matthias asked, dropping to unzip something from his bag.

“Oh no no, I’m okay-”

“I could hear your stomach rumbling from here.” Matthias grinned, and passed you some dried jerky that he bought from a vendor hours before

・He was always doing things like that. Thinking of you and what you might need...or want.

・You couldn’t help but blush. Even though you tried to keep up your jaunty attitude, you ... couldn’t

・And when he sat on the end of the bed, nibbling on his piece of jerky, and asking about you, your heart was beaming

・After an hour, Matthias still hadn’t moved and you realised you had to tell him what was okay.

“Move up here,” once again you patted the space next to you.

・You had wriggled underneath the blanket and watched Matthias take of his shoes and get into bed

・Your heart was in your throat. A thumping, fluttering mess.

・You started up the conversation, as he turned over to face you

・When your eyes began to droop, and Matthias started mumbling when he spoke, you two fell asleep in the King sized bed.

・You thought you were the first to wake, but you could hear the change in Matthias’ breathing

・However, you tried not to move as well. His strong arms had moved you onto his chest, and there you lay. Your head exactly where his heart was.

・At times you could feel him rub your back and those goddamn tingles never left your body

𝐉𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫

・You already know this cheeky motherf*cker is grinning like a chesire cat

“I guess even fate wants us together...”

“If by ‘fate’ you mean Kaz, and by ‘wants us together’ you mean doing our job. Then yeah Jesper, that’s exactly what’s happening.”

・Your exterior was hard, but inside you were melting. Ever since meeting Jesper your insides melted whenever he was near.

・Inside the room, you turned to put your weapons on the bedside table. Twin daggers, your personalised gun, a small knife you always kept in your boot (you put that one underneath your pillow) and small hatchet that you usually kept on your back.

“There’s something quite comedic about this-” Jesper said, with his legs up on the bed, boots gleaming, and his arms around his head.

“If you don’t take your goddamn shoes off the bed-” you countered, with a small fury.

“Ooh, yes boss,” Jesper complied with a grin.

・It was a battle, trying to keep that stupid smile off your face. Somehow Jesper was always able to bring it out

・You didn’t have ocd, but you did have problems with outside clothes coming into contact with inside items. Jesper was used to the Ketterdam life, so keeping things clean was always difficult.

・The room was cosy, and a fire was lit. A steady flame burned while you and Jesper talked about your next actions.

・But somehow the conversation took a turn and you were talking about yourselves, your backgrounds and lives.

・Time flew by as you spoke, and soon night turned into day.

・The once roaring fire had dwindled into ashes and it wasn’t until Jesper yawned that you realised.

・You were going to shout obscenities but there was a knock at the door

“Did we just...?”

“Yeah! Sh*t, Fuc-”

“Wake up call!”

𝐍𝐢𝐧𝐚

・She gave a hearty laugh before looking at you with a sly grin. But her attention was grabbed by the food menu

“Ooh, I hope they have waffles...”

・Completely unbothered by having to share a bed with you

・Behind her bravado is a heart that has been captured by you. She’s just very good at hiding it.

・You, on the other hand, are a bit more quiet. Well, anyone is quiet compared to Nina (with the exception of Jesper).

・So you are a bit hesitant when it comes to showing emotions. Especially since you’re afraid of seeming weird. Growing up, you had heard that word to describe you many times

“We don’t have to share a bed, it’s okay if you don’t want to,” Nina says after a heavy silence. Her eyes flick toward you, a half grin appearing on her face. It was almost ... sad?

・You shake your head, “no no, it’s fine.” Inside you are DYING. Nina?? Sad??? You would burn the world to the ground before you made her sad.

・Perking up (slightly, as she’s never truly sad), Nina moves through the room, looking at all the objects and items. Scowling at the lack of entertainment.

“Really, Kaz could have picked a nicer place...”

・Pulling out a waffle that you had saved from breakfast earlier, you turned around and held it high in the air.

“I have saved thy favourite snack. Please take this as a token of my friendship,” you bowed slightly and waited for her reaction.

・Nina bowed low in response, a large grin on her pale face.

“I accept thy token, with immense gratitude.”

・But the act was quickly forgotten about as she squealed and ran over to you.

・ “I don’t know how well it’s going to taste...” You mumbled, showing the crumbled waffle.

・Nevertheless, you were now her favourite person.

・And the night was one you would always remember

・Like a sleepover with your best friend, you felt like you had known Nina since childhood

・The next morning, you were the first to wake.

・Tangled together Nina’s arms were firmly wrapped around you, snuggling her form closer to yours.

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hottpinkpenguin · 1 year

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Hii, could you do a matthias x reader with the promp "Did I miss the part where you suddenly turned likeable?" where the reader is Grisha and her and matthias HATE, eachother. Like literally loath eachothers existence and they end up jeprodising missions because off it

A/n: loved this idea!!! who doesn't love a good enemies-to-(maybe?) friends story! let me know what you think anon :)

Matthias X Inferni Fem!Reader Word Count: 2,490 Warnings: mentions of disfigurement, burning, cursing, not proofread

The force of the explosion collided with Matthias’ back, throwing him forward like a ragdoll. Heat singed the back of his neck as small shards of rock and glass bit into his skin. He slammed down against the rocky ground, knocking the breath from his chest. Pain and shock kept him immobilized for a few moments as he tried to gasp air into his lungs. His ears rung with a high pitched keening, the world disappearing in a blaze of bright white light for an instant.

When he finally felt his lungs expand with a greedy breath, he opened his eyes to see a pair of leather boots standing in front of him. He looked up at you, your lip curled slightly in a half-snarl, half-smirk.

“Get up, druskelle. I’m not carrying you.” You stood above him, your arms crossed, a look of smug contentment on your face as you watched him struggle to regain his breath and clamber to his hands and knees.

Hatred boiled in his gut as the urge to swipe your ankles out from under you raced through his mind. He knew you were too good a fighter, your reflexes too quick, to actually be caught unawares like that, but the image of you falling to your ass - no matter how unlikely - was so appealing that he couldn’t help himself. He lashed out with his right hand, hoping that a combination of speed and strength might just catch you off your guard.

As he predicted, you were too fast. You lifted one of your feet and slammed it down on his wrist like a cat catching its prey, pinning his wrist against the ground. He grit his teeth against the pain. You’d used just enough force to hurt him without actually injuring him, although he knew that wasn’t for his benefit.

“Saints, you two are going to get us all killed!” Jesper and Kaz strode over from the still smoldering remains of the building you’d blown up. Kaz’s face looked like a thundercloud as he approached you, coming up so close to your face Matthias swore the Bastard of the Barrel was going to spit on you.

“Let him go, Fire Witch.” Kaz’s voice was a low growl, threat laced through every word. Your eyes narrowed in challenge, and Matthias felt your foot grind down a little harder on his wrist before releasing him. You were flicking the shard of flint you used as a fire starter between the fingers of your right hand as you held Kaz’s gaze.

“He shouldn’t be here,” you snarled back. “I don’t work with Grisha killers. He’s lucky I haven’t burned the skin from his bones.” Your eyes were dark and hateful as you watched Matthias rise from the ground. He ignored the threat: however strong your hatred of him, it was returned in kind.

“It’s not your call. Fall in line, or get out of my sight.” Matthias hadn’t known Kaz long, but if there was one thing he’d learned, it was that Kaz Brekker was the leader of every mission. Matthias, for his part, appreciated a strong leader. Kaz’s shrewd if at times shockingly cruel tactics never troubled Matthias, although he’d seen you struggle with taking orders since you’d fallen in with the crew almost a year ago.

So Matthias wasn’t surprised when he saw your hands flit like hummingbirds at your side. He realized now why Kaz was standing so close: it blocked you from being able to use the Small Science. And Kaz knew you well enough to know that you’d never back down from him - literally or figuratively. Matthias made a mental note in his head, although he sincerely doubted if he’d ever tolerate being that close to you. Your and Kaz’s nose were barely a hair’s width from brushing.

“I don’t take orders, either.” Your voice matched Kaz’s in its tone, eagerly rising to the challenge.

Kaz didn’t balk or blink in the slightest. In fact, he smirked smugly at you, like a spider who knows its caught a fly. Jesper stood close to Kaz’s side, his eyes trained on you warily.

“You’ll take orders from me, Witch, or you’ll suffer the consequences. More aptly, you’ll watch someone else suffer the consequences.”

For the first time since Matthias had the misfortune of meeting you, he saw something like real fear in your eyes. Your nostrils flared at Kaz. As the standoff stretched on through a few tense breaths, Matthias realized he never knew how or why you’d come to end up working with Kaz Brekker. He’d never cared enough to wonder. He couldn’t make heads or tails of what Kaz meant by “watching someone else suffer the consequences”, although it clearly struck a chord for you. Whatever Kaz had on you, it was something you didn’t seem willing or able to walk away from.

“You know I won’t do that.” Your chin dropped a half inch, your eyes widening slightly as if to convey to Kaz a sincerity Matthias didn’t know you had.

Sensing victory, Kaz nodded. “I know that. So you’ll fall in line. Stop trying to get the Fjerdan killed.”

You shot Matthias a look of contempt over Kaz’s shoulder. Irritated and emboldened, Kaz thrust the carved crow handle of his cane up under your chin, jerking your head back towards him.

“Fall in line or pay the price.”

Matthias watched as the rest of your headstrong resolve crumbled under whatever Kaz was threatening you with. The tension in the air was so thick Matthias realized he was holding his breath. He shot a quick look over at Jesper, stock still at Kaz’s shoulder with his shooting hand flexed subtly by his holster, as if he thought you might lash out at his boss. Something about Jesper’s defensive posture and Kaz’s overtly bullying behavior was grating on him. For reasons he couldn’t understand, he actually felt like defending you.

“She won’t kill me, Boss.” Three pairs of eyes snapped over to Matthias as he spoke. “She couldn’t if she tried. Fjerdan or not, I’ve gotten under her skin. She likes me, she just doesn’t know it yet.”

Matthias didn’t believe a word he said, but he added just enough smug swagger to his voice that Kaz and Jesper seemed to buy it. The moment broken, Kaz stepped back from you and Jesper’s shooting hand dropped from his holster. Kaz shot you one more warning look before he strode past you, shoving you with his shoulder and leaving you and Matthias alone.

Matthias watched your eyes bore holes in the back of Kaz’s head as he limped over the ridge and out of sight. Finally, you turned back to face him. Usually your eyes were nothing but loathsome pits when you looked at him. Matthias couldn’t be sure if he imagined it, but he swore he saw a flicker of something like gratitude in your face. You opened your mouth and inhaled, ready to speak, but no words came out. Your mouth snapped close, and you looked up at Matthias with a strange flurry of emotion. Then, with a small nod of your head, you turned on your heel and followed Kaz.

It was the first time Matthias could remember that you’d wasted an opportunity to goad him. And the first time you could remember when Matthias had been something other than a thorn in your side.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“What did Brekker mean by ‘someone else will suffer the consequences’?”

You barely looked up from the rabbit you were skinning from across the fire.

“What are you talking about, Druska?” Your new nickname for Matthias. He supposed it was a bit better than druskelle, although you still sounded like you were hexing him every time you spoke.

“A few months ago. After the glass factory job.”

Recognition dawned on your face, but you didn’t respond.

“Kaz told you to step in line or someone else w-”

“I remember,” you interrupted him, an edge of irritation in your voice. “After I threatened to burn the skin off your bones.”

Matthias chuckled. “The very same.”

You still kept silent, studiously avoiding his gaze, although he didn’t miss the violent way you stabbed the skinned rabbit carcass with the spit.

Matthias opened his mouth to press the matter further, but something about the cold glitter in your eyes stopped him. The two of you hadn’t spoken about that day since, although there had been a noticeable change between the two of you. Matthias wouldn’t go so far as to say you were friends. More like non-combative work associates. He figured it was an improvement over borderline murderous adversaries, and he realized he wasn’t willing to risk going back to the way things were.

Befuddled by his own reaction, Matthias shrugged, resolved to drop it.

You spoke so quietly he thought he’d imagined it at first.

“He’s talking about my sister.” Your eyes wide and glassy, the fire dancing in your pupils.

Matthias froze, too shocked to know what to say back. Thankfully, you seemed content to fill the silence.

“Kaz lets her work at the Crow Club in exchange for my services. She’s… she can’t get a lot of jobs. Any jobs, really. On account of the… scars.” You swallowed thickly, tamping down a lump in your throat and swiping away the tears that pooled on your lash line.

Feeling compelled to speak, Matthias blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“What scars?”

For half a moment, he wondered if you would launch yourself at his throat from across the fire. Normally, the two of you didn’t make small talk, even when you were alone on missions - which had been happening a lot, recently. His question stepped over small talk into the realm of personal.

For the second time in as many minutes, he was shocked at your vulnerable response.

“The burns,” you choked out. “We were little… my parents had just figured out I was Grisha. We were playing… she pulled on my hair, yanked some of it out. I just… lost control. I just meant to scare her. Not to hurt her. Just to get her to leave me alone… but… I burned her.”

Matthias could barely breathe, his heart thundering in his chest. He watched as tears slipped loose from your eyes, trailing down your cheeks and dripping off your jaw onto the dirt.

You ignored them, the words falling out of your mouth like water bursting through a dam.

“The burns are… extensive. All over her face, neck. Her arms. There’s nothing wrong with her, she can still do everything you and I can. Her eyesight’s a little worse, but for the most part. She’s OK. It’s just… people look at her and they don’t know what to do. They think she’s a monster. We were banished from our village. Our neighbors said she was marked by demons. Some of them figured out it was me. That I burned her. So they called me a demon. My parents… they did their best, but they didn’t know anything about Grisha. They’d never left Fjerda before.”

Matthias sucked in a breath, his chest tight like a winch.

“You’re Fjerdan?”

You looked up at him like you were coming out of a daze. As if he were seeing you for the first time, he noticed the proud way you held your chin. Your fearlessness. The streak of loyalty you had, the duty to protect those around you, even the ones you hated. How he had not seen it before?

“Yes. I am.”

Your words hung in the air like smoke. Matthias felt his feelings for you turn upside down, a strange and unwelcome feeling of affection blossoming in his chest. Eager to bat it away, he scrambled for something to say, anything.

“I never knew that.”

You chuckled darkly, rolling your eyes.

“I know, Druska. I wanted it that way. Fjerda was… not kind to me.”

Matthias nodded, unable to find a suitable response. He’d been raised to hate Grisha, to hunt them like the dogs he’d been told they were. He’d never stopped to consider the person behind the Small Science.

“So… your sister and you, are you close?”

You shook your head, that coldness flaring to life in your eyes again.

“No. She hates me. Disowned me as soon as she was old enough to live on her own. My parents weren’t too far behind her. They never forgave me for what I did to her.”

You trailed off, only the crackling fire filling the silence for a few breaths. Matthias waited, watching you thoughtfully as you turned the roasting rabbit on its spit.

“I look after her. From a distance. I traded my service as an Inferni with Brekker for her employment. So she wouldn’t have to resort to… other professions, to make a living for herself. It’s the least I can do.”

Matthias felt a second surge of affinity towards you. The pieces began to fit together for him: the reason you resented him so vehemently; the reason Kaz was able to blackmail you so easily; the way you fought with the kind of recklessness that only comes from not truly minding if you live or die.

“Sounds like she is lucky to have you,” he offered.

You quirked one corner of your lips at him in a sarcastic smirk. “Lucky? Luck has nothing to do with it. One of the first things you learn as a Grisha.”

Matthias snorted, shaking his head. You narrowed your eyes at him in question. “That’s not a Grisha lesson, Firedrake,” he told you, using the nickname he’d given you in exchange for ‘Druska’. “That’s a Fjerdan lesson. Only the strong survive. And the strongest save us all. Your sister, she sounds strong. She survived. But you? You have saved her. That makes you the strongest.”

You looked at him across the fire, deep in thought as he watched you take in his words. He could tell you wanted to argue, but for some reason you didn’t. After a few moments, you tipped your head back and laughed. It broke the tension, and Matthias found himself laughing alongside you. For the first time since he’d met you, Matthias wondered if the two of you might actually grow to be friends.

“Druska, did I miss the part where you suddenly turned so likeable?”

He felt a warm flush spread across his cheeks. Grateful for the dim light, he ducked his head down, both of you still chortling.

“Funny what happens when you stop threatening to burn the skin from my bones, isn’t it?”

You smiled, showing your teeth for once. Matthias returned the grin, his heart doing an unfamiliar twirl in his chest. That’s new, he thought to himself.

“I guess it is, Druska. I guess it is…”

For the first time since the two of you had met, neither of you slept uneasily that night…

#matthias helvar #matthias helvar x you #matthias helvar x reader #matthias helvar x y/n #matthias helvar imagine #matthias helvar requests #shadow and bone #shadow and bone requests #shadow and bone imagine #calahan skogman

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restinslices · 7 months

Text

Liar

Druskelle!Matthias Helvar x Heartrender!WIfe!Reader Word count: 2347 Summary: You've kept being a Grisha secret from your husband Matthias Helvar, but what happens when he finds out? Y/N - Your name D/N - Daughter name

If it hadn’t been for two big reasons, you’d like to think you’d have left Fjerda.

The ice, the cold, the anti Grisha talk. Living in Fjerda was nerve wracking, causing you to be hypervigilant on everything you said or did. To say it was tiring, would be an understatement. Yet two people kept you in Fjerda; your husband Matthias Helvar and your daughter D/N Helvar.

There were nights where you would toss and turn, your mind plaguing you with nightmares about Matthia finding out about you. Those nightmares never ended the same way. In one dream he’d kill you, the other you’d try to run away together, only for him to be killed. Sometimes you’d be caught instead. In the worst nightmares, it’d be your daughter who was caught and killed.

It’s not that you were afraid of Matthias. You feared him finding out because you didn’t want to lose him. Either from him leaving you, or the other Druskelle killing him.

While you were awake though, you fortunately had a friend. A woman named Elise, who lived a few houses down and was also a Grisha. A tidemaker to be more specific.

When night fell and darkness covered you both, you two would become a particular thorn in the Druskelle’s sides. Elise would use her tidemaker abilities to create harsh waves that would knock over the boats before they could depart, or icicles that pierced the bottom of the boats, while you would free any Grisha the Druskelle decided to make a “public example” out of. That among other things caused the Druskelle to have a hit out on both of you, but since you were never caught, it was like trying to capture a shadow.

“I know that I’m right”, Elise said. You rolled your eyes. This was the third time she brought up the possibility of her son, Erik, liking your daughter.

“They’re six Elise”

“I knew what I wanted at six! Plus, Erik gave his scarf to her. Isn’t that proof?”

“No. He noticed she was cold and he was nice”. Elise waved dismissively and went to open her mouth, but luckily Matthias emerged from the back. You had to admit, if you hadn’t known Matthias, you’d be startled by his build. He once told you that he was the tallest and biggest kid amongst the Drukelle, and you never doubted it. Even now, he was taller and bigger than most of the men you saw walking around. He absolutely terrified Elise when she first saw him, and you always brought it up when you wanted a good laugh.

“They’re too young to date” he said simply before he placed a kiss on your cheek. “They should wait till they’re older and he can court her properly”

You spoke before Elise could make a sarcastic remark, “where are you off to?”

“Boating docks. We’ll be taking off before the week is done, and we have to stay alert”. You fought against the urge to shoot a glance at the woman sitting next to you. Matthias mistook you anxious about being caught for anxiousness about his safety. He rubbed your cheek lightly with his thumb and looked at you with soft eyes, “I’ll be ok”.

You nodded in understanding and off he went, not knowing he was watching out for you.

~~~

You peered out your window, watching the sun start to go down. You had told the kids to be home at six bells. Foolish of you to think they’d actually listen when you weren’t watching them.

“I’m gonna start looking for them”, you announced as you threw your coat on. Your hand hovered over the doorknob, before suddenly it was thrown open.

Erik stood in the doorway, eyes wide, mouth opening and closing like a fish taken out of the water. His left sleeve was completely wet, and you couldn’t help but notice that your daughter was nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s-”

“W-we were playing on the lake and… and… and i-it’s not my fault!”

“What isn’t your fault?”

“The ice cracked! I tried to pull her out but she kept moving!”.

Your heart sunk, your breath caught in your throat. Fjerda was always freezing, and who knew how long Erik had waited before he finally came to get both of you.

It was one of those moments where you mentally blacked out, only fully gaining consciousness when all three of you were approaching the lake. Your feet moved faster when you noticed the hole she undoubtedly fell in. Shouts telling you to slow down fell on deaf ears as you kept running. You approached the hole, hoping maybe she was close by, but she wasn’t. You kneeled, hoping being closer to the ice would help you spot her.

You heard shuffling and panting behind you. “I told Erik to get Matthias. Do you see her?”

“Do you see her in my arms?”, you snapped unintentionally, too preoccupied to care about how harsh that sounded.

You got back to your feet and overlapped your fingers over each other, making a triangle shape.

“Y/N anyone could see!”. You ignored her words and kept trying to feel for the familiar heartbeat.

You felt a heartbeat, but it did nothing to ease your worries when you realized how slow and faint it was. You followed it, the heartbeat leading a while away from the initial hole in the ice.

“Elise!”, you called when you saw the familiar hair color of your daughter and her bright colored jacket. Your back stayed to Elise, afraid if you took your eyes off your daughter that she would float away again.

The ice above her cracked before it erupted, it being moved with ease. You silently said a prayer to any higher power that was listening, and thanked them for giving you a tidemaker as a friend.

You dropped down, pulled the young girl up and laid her on the ice. Your hands went over her heart, once again ignoring the protests coming from the woman behind you. It wasn’t her child dying. It was yours.

“Come on… come on…”, you mumbled.

You kept muttering encouraging words under your breath, as if all she needed was a good push. You kept telling her to wake up, only letting yourself let out a breath of relief when her eyes opened and she coughed up water. You pulled her up and patted her back, your own heartbeat still not slowing down. You slipped off her jacket and replaced it with your own, your own arms now freezing, but your own freezing body was the least of your concerns.

You heard more footsteps and looked up, seeing Matthias approaching. He kneeled down, scooping her in his arms and sighing, “Let’s get her inside and get her warm. She’s freezing”.

~~~

Your heartbeat only slowed down when you laid your daughter down to sleep. You watched over her for a while, monitoring her heartbeat. You didn’t know what Matthias was doing. He started acting strange once you got home. Maybe it was shock. You couldn’t tell him how to process the near death experience of his only child.

You left your daughter’s room and made your way to your own bedroom, but your eyebrows furrowed when you noticed Matthias was nowhere to be seen. You checked the bathroom, living room and kitchen, but Matthias wasn’t there. You stepped outside, finally seeing Matthias outside standing, eyes up to the sky.

You made your way to his side, “how long have you been out here?”. Matthias didn’t respond. You looked up at the stars like he was, “were you speaking to Djel?”.

He nodded. “I was asking for guidance and forgiveness”.

You frowned. Forgiveness for what? For not predicting what happened today? Who could have? It was an accident. A terrible accident, but an accident. You weren’t even angry at Erik or Elise.

“Today was not your fault Matthias. You don’t need to ask for forgiveness”.

Matthias once again didn’t respond. Instead, he walked back into the house. You followed him, calling his name, but getting nothing in return. You grabbed his arm, noticing when he flinched and took a deep breath.

“I know you’re scared because of what happened today. I am too, but don’t push me away. Talk to me-”

“Stop”, he said firmly. He turned to face you, and for the first time ever, he didn’t look at you with softness and love or patience and caring. His eyes were harsh, his eyes now reminding you of a storm instead of the calm sea. “How’d you find her? That’s not the hole she fell in”.

“No one knows where she fell. We weren’t there”.

“Erik was, and he said you weren’t where D/N fell. So, how’d you find her?”.

“I looked around”, you half lied. You had been looking around… just with a little help. “I saw her hair and jacket”.

“Why was there another hole?”

“It was already there”, you lied once again but Matthias didn’t look convinced. “Why… Why are you asking me this?”, you asked. You tried your best to remain calm, hoping he hadn’t seen anything, and if he did you were hoping you could lie your way out of it. You couldn’t let your nightmares come true.

“You’re lying”.

“I’m not”.

“I saw you! I saw your hands over her!”. You unintentionally backed away when his voice rose. He didn’t seem as soft and caring as he usually was. You tried to think quickly.

“I-I was giving her CPR. There was water in her lungs, I wasn’t just gonna wait for a doctor-”

“I saw Elise break and move the ice without touching it! I saw you with your hands over D/N! Why are you still lying to me?!”.

You went silent. You couldn’t think of a lie out of this. You tried, you really did, but how could you explain that?

“You’re a liar”.

“Matthias”

“It all makes sense. What’s been happening recently. Ships wrecked, sudden bad waves, Drusje escaping, Druskelle being disoriented”, he took a pause, his eyes never getting softer “it was you two. And that’s why you kept telling me to stop being a Druskelle”.

“I…”, you thought for a moment, trying to find a good response. “I wanted to tell you but I didn’t wanna lose you-”, Matthias turned away but you kept talking, your words coming out rushed “I love and care for you so much and Matthias, Grisha are not bad people, despite what you’ve been taught”.

“Is D/N a witch?”

“Grisha are not witches and I don’t know. I didn’t think to test her yet”. Silence filled the room before Matthias spoke up again,

“But she could be”

You moved to be in front of him, “she’s still our daughter-”

“She’s your daughter”.

You froze. All of a sudden the girl he cared for since she was a newborn, the girl he told bedtime stories to and let sleep next to him when she had a nightmare, was no longer his daughter?

“Don’t do this. She’s still your daughter. I’m still your wife!”, you pleaded. Your hands raised to cup his face but he backed away. You looked into his eyes, trying to read what he was feeling. It didn’t work. He had become a hard wall, unwilling to budge. “I love you and you love me”.

“None of this was real. This was your witchcraft. You made me fall in love with you!”

“You know that’s not true!”, you almost yelled. “Everything between us is real! I married you because I love you! I had your child because I love you! I didn’t make you fall in love with me, that’s not even how my power works!”

“You’re a witch who can boil blood and stop a pulse! Who knows what else you can do?!”

“I would NEVER do that to you or anyone else even if I could!”. You stepped closer to him, but once again he stepped back. “You can’t possibly be that afraid of me”

“I’m not afraid of witches”

“You hate me”. You waited for Matthias to deny it. For him to pull you into a hug and say he’d hear you out, but neither came. You sighed, how could all of this change in a matter of hours? “You wanna hate me, but you don’t and you know you don’t”.

Matthias looked away from you. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then opened his eyes again. He didn’t look back at you though. “I have to report you and Elise”.

You shook your head, “no you don’t!”. Your hands gripped his arms, sorrow and agony behind your words, “Matthias please!”.

Matthias looked down at you, “I’ll wait until half bell. After that, we’ll be looking for all of you”.

All of you.

You, Elise, Erik, your daughter.

When Matthias hadn’t budged, you ran to your daughter’s room. You quickly got her dressed and threw a coat over her tiny frame. She kept asking questions and rubbing her eyes, but you couldn’t spare any time to answer them.

What really broke your heart though, is when she saw Matthias. She slipped from your grasp and made her way to him, “where are we going?”. Matthias picked her up and held her, and her arms and legs wrapped around him. Her head falling in the crook of his neck. You had hoped that maybe he changed his mind, but you guessed picking her up and comforting her was like a reflex, because once he seemed to realize what he was doing, he put her down and stepped away from her.

You picked her up, ignoring her confused murmurs and spared Matthias one last glance before you left. You ran over to Elise’s house, telling her of the news. Like you, she had to wake up her child, and dress him quickly. You two knew you couldn’t go to the boat harbor, so you started on foot to the Ravkan border, the cold air freezing the tears on your face.

A/N: my bad if there's mistakes, I'm sick and this screen is hurting my eyes. Also in the books at least, they use bells instead of like, "6pm" but anyway-. I don't know if I wanna make a part 2 or leave this as a stand alone. Stay tuned to see if this sickness takes me out.

#matthias helvar x reader #matthias helvar x you #matthias helvar x y/n #matthias helvar #matthias helvar oneshot #shadow and bone #shadow and bone oneshot #shadow and bone imagine #matthias helvar imagine #six of crows #grishaverse #shadow and bone x reader

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swanimagines · 2 months

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SAVE YOU | MATTHIAS HELVAR

Summary: Imagine Matthias Helvar saving you from drowning.

You not knowing to swim and being part of the Dregs were two things that could get destructive together. You knew that when you joined. So in a way, you deserved the situation you were in now - Ketterdam took out the weak, and now you had pulled the short straw.

The canal water threatened to drag you under, the current having taken you to the sea, and now you were drifting farther and farther away. If you had known how to swim, it would take just a few strokes and you’d be able to push yourself up, but struggling to keep yourself up took all your strength. You couldn’t even scream for help.

You didn’t know for how long you were there - if others knew where you were. You knew Kaz was tapping his foot while looking at the time, you wouldn’t have had time to be late.

You didn’t hear when your name was called, nor you saw the Fjerdan diving into the water, rushing towards you. Your vision was going out already, but then you faintly felt yourself being pulled - maybe Death had come to claim you. Your consciousness went in and out as you were pushed up on the street, and you heard some running steps coming up towards you. You were rolled over to the pavement, turned to your side. Your vision was blurry, and you were tired - oh so very tired. You felt acid on your throat, seawater making its way out of you in a form of vomit. You coughed and gagged as it just kept coming, before it calmed down, leaving you shaking slightly.

“Saints,” you heard a voice say, but it echoed, sounding like it came from behind a wall. The walls at the Slat were something you had always cursed - listening to your neighboring Dreg having a one night’s stand wasn’t something you enjoyed hearing. But right now, you would have done anything to be in your own bed, under covers, dry and warm. Even if it meant listening to your neighbor’s bedpost rhythmically slamming against the wall.

Suddenly, you felt a a pair of hands on your chest and you started to warm up immediately. Your vision started to clear, your tiredness started to diminish. You groaned, seeing Nina kneeling beside you and managed to muster a small smile for her, closing your eyes.

Then, the seawater decided to make itself known once more and you abruptly lunged to the side, throwing up onto the pavement again. Gasping for air, you felt a large hand stroking your back, and finally decided to look at your savior.

Matthias.

You blinked at him, a trace of fluid still dripping off your cheek. You had not expected him to jump after you like that. But at the same time, you knew he wouldn’t just stand there and look as you drowned, you were friends with him after all. Or, you wanted him to be more than a friend actually, but still - you didn’t expect to find yourself in a situation like this, him being so caring with you after he saved you. You saw Nina turn her eyes away, biting her lip as if to hide a smirk - this would be something she’d tease you about for weeks.

More steps approached, and you saw the rest of the Crows walking up to you. Kaz looked like a stormcloud over a job gone wrong, but judging by how Inej looked at him, he wouldn’t chastise you about ruining the job, at least not now. They all knew you couldn’t swim. Jesper and Wylan ran up the moment they saw you, as well as Inej a few seconds later, her hand brushing against Kaz’s arm as she passed him. Kaz stopped and stood a little farther away from the rest of them doting over at you, Matthias helping you to sit up and a moment later, hoisting you up against him. You started walking towards the Slat with Matthias’s arm around you and you couldn’t help but think, maybe there would be more to how Matthias felt about you. Nina had teased you about it and kept hinting that way, but you didn’t believe it being true, thinking it’s just Nina’s hopeless romantic side talking. But the way Matthias looked at you, the way he held you - it spoke about something deeper.

Maybe you’d talk to him about it in a few days. Maybe confessions would be made, maybe one of your greatest dreams would come true.

---

Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

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our-chaos · 2 years

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Okay, so... we already established Matthias would be the softer one of him and Matt, but...

If it was just him and his s/o? I have a weak spot for a big, strong man who's soft with his s/o but dammit if I don't want that Fjerdan boy to ruin me.

Please give me your thoughts 😍

I’m exploding.

You’d have to warm him up to certain things, him being from where he’s from and all. He was always mild mannered, and in bed he was nothing but soft with you. Matthias never wants to do anything that would hurt you, so if you urged him to be more rough with you he might be hesitant. He’d give you a look that would make you giggle, one of confusion, and it would take everything in you not to kiss the dumbfounded expression off of his handsome face.

“You’re not going to hurt me, Matthias..” you’d assure, moving his large hand by the grip you had on his wrist to place his palm against your throat. He’d swallow, a fire forming in his stomach, his icy blue eyes shooting a glare right into your own eyes.

“You tell me to stop, I will stop.” He spoke sternly, like this were a life and death situation even though you’ve been practically begging him to have his way with you. You were lost in the timbre of his voice, the low tone that shot straight to your core.

“Understand?” He asked, his hold on your neck twitching the slightest bit, catching your attention. He’d have to keep from smirking at the way you blushed, how you nodded so compliantly in agreement.

By the time Matthias had given his all, you’d be a drooling, idiotic, fucked to a point of foolishness, incomprehensible, babbling mess. He’d have his hand around your pulse, restraining you still while he fucked you into the mattress. All you could do was gawk up at him, choking out unsteady praises and pleads of mercy. But Matthias wasn’t merciful tonight. No. You wanted this, and the big bad Fjerdan would do nothing until you got exactly what you wanted. Who was he to dissatisfy you? He wouldn’t dare, not when you looked like a gorgeous little whore accepting his cock like it were the only thing you knew.

He’d settle his lips right to your ear, the harsh pants and raw breaths emitting from that pretty mouth enough to carry you over the edge for your third orgasm of the night. He clamped your breath within his fist, just a bit tighter, and he knew you were listening from the way you squeaked at his harsh touch. Good, he wanted you to hear this.

“You asked for this, min trassel,” he taunted, “So take it.”

#my first Matthias thingy :P #matthias helvar #six of crows #munsonownsmyass #matthias helvar x reader #matthias helvar x you #matthias helvar drabble #matthias helvar smut #six of crows x reader #six of crows x you #not anon

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triptuckers · 1 year

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Safe - Matthias Helvar

Request: one word blurb! Pairing: matthias helvar x reader Summary: turns out your safe place isn't a place at all Warnings: mentions of blood, fighting, death Word count: 635 A/N: this is part of my 1,5k follower celebration :) check out this post explaining it, enjoy!

you're stumbling through the streets of ketterdam, trying to make sense of your surroundings. but it's hard when there's blood dripping in your eye from a cut above your eyebrow.

this was not part of kaz's plan. it was supposed to be quick, in and out while no one would realise.

it all went wrong.

either there was a flaw in kaz's plan, or the dime lions had somehow figured out your plan and took precautions. whatever the case, it was a bloodbath.

you had been teamed up with inej and the both of you had unleashed a tornado of violence once you realised the dime lions were waiting for you. your hands and clothes got soaked in blood. you didn't know if it belonged to you or to someone else, you didn't care.

then, without warning, one of wylan's bombs went off and part of the building you were in collapsed. you got separated from inej, but you did manage to hear jesper's voice over the chaos, yelling for everyone to get back to the slat.

just as you wanted to oblige and head back, a lone dime lion had spotted you.

it was a messy fight, with no honour and a lot of blood and cursing. after a few near misses from your opponent, frustration got the better of you. driven by anger, you lashed out with your knives until the dime lion lay at your feet, bleeding and barely breathing.

you stared at him. a boy not much older than you. saints, what had you done?

you ran away, and it got you to where you are now, blindly stumbling through the streets, trying to get back to the slat.

at this time of night, the streets are nearly empty. you don't see many people. then again, they would probably avoid the girl covered in blood with knives.

every time you close your eyes to wipe the blood away, you see the face of the young dime lion. that could have been you.

you're so lost in thought, trying to shake the boy out of you head, that you promptly walk into something solid.

you instantly pull out one of your knives again, but when you look up, you see a familiar face.

matthias looks down at you with a worried look in his eyes.

before he can say anything, your knife clatters to the ground and you step forward, locking your arms around his waist and burying your face in his chest.

matthias' posture stiffens, but then he relaxes and wraps an arm protectively around you.

'it's alright, you're safe now.' he says softly.

you fight the tears but eventually they fall, soaking matthias' shirt with a mixture of tears and blood. he doesn't seem to care, though.

'let's get you back to the slat and cleaned up.' says matthias. 'the others will be glad to know you're okay.'

you briefly remove your face from his chest to look at him. 'they're already back?' you say.

matthias frowns in confusion. 'y/n, we got back hours ago. we thought you didn't make it.' he says.

his words make you frown as well, and matthias gently tugs you along with him as he starts the walk back to the slat.

'I think you're in shock.' he says. 'it's okay, you're safe now. I've got you.'

you lean into his side, but matthias doesn't mind. he pulls you a bit closer.

a small part of you remembers your knife is still on the floor behind you, but you don't want it back. you'd never be able to use it again without picturing it covered in the dime lion's blood.

you softly shake your head, trying to drown the memory out. instead, you focus on matthias' presence next to you. he's right, you're safe now.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rulesHere’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Max/Marit

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thebadgerclan · 2 years

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Most Men

Pairing: Matthias Helvar

Requested by Anonymous

Summary: In this regard, he isn’t like most men...

Matthias knew there were many men in his position who, given their wife’s condition, would keep her away from him and avoid her presence. That simply didn’t make sense to him; he was your husband, and he would care for you whenever and however you required. So when you woke to blood on the sheets, Matthias didn’t complain about the mess, he didn’t ask you to clean it up yourself, he didn’t require you to sequester yourself in the bedroom for the duration.

No, Matthias drew you a hot bath, stripped and changed the sheets, set them soaking in a basin of cold water, and made a trip to the market to purchase your favorite sweets. When he returned, he found you rising from the tub, reaching for the nearby towel. “Let me,” Matthias said, taking the towel and setting about drying you off. You smiled, leaning into his touch. Your husband dried your hair before helping you into a fresh nightdress. You held the skirt above your waist as you stepped into your undergarments, which Matthias had lined with clean linen; the fact that he knew to do so making you smile.

“Would you prefer to stay in bed, or the living room?” “The living room will suffice. I’m not on death’s door.” Matthias shook his head, thought he was smiling, kissing you softly before exiting the bathroom. When you seated yourself on the sofa, your husband wrapped a blanket over your shoulders and placed the book you were currently reading on your lap. “Can I get you anything, my love?”

You cocked your head. “Do I smell…?” “Those pastries from the bakery? Yes, you do.” “You are the most wonderful husband, did you know that?” Matthias smiled, kissing your forehead as he entered the kitchen, placing a few of the pastries on a platter. “I believe you may have told me so a few times.” He sat at your side, handing you the plate and draping an arm over your shoulders. You were content to eat and read for a while before you winced, holding your abdomen as a cramp seized your insides.

Matthias, always so attuned to your needs, furrowed his brow, shifting you in his embrace so you were leaning against him. He took the plate and book from your hand, setting them on the coffee table, before lifting your nightdress above your stomach. Matthias gently laid his palm over your lower belly, applying gentle pressure, which made you sigh. “Does that feel better, sweetheart?”

“Mmm, much better. Thank you, Matthias.” Your husband kissed your temple, and you relaxed further into his embrace. “Of course, my love. Whatever you need, I will always take care of you.” No, most married men would shy away from their wives while they bled, finding it repulsive or disgusting. But in this instance, Matthias was rather proud to be unlike most men.

#matthias helvar x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #matthias helvar x you #shadow and bone reader insert

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lesbianjackies · 1 year

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🐺matthias helvar masterlist🐺

key: ❤︎︎ - fluff, ☁︎︎ - angst, ★ - smut

obvious ❤︎︎

#matthias helvar x reader #matthias helvar x you #matthias helvar x y/n #matthias helvar fanfiction #matthias helvar fanfic #matthias helvar fic #matthias helvar

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midnight-rain-fics · 1 year

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Matthias Helvar Masterlist

Fluff ✨

Angst 🌙

Hurt/comfort 💫

• So it goes 🌙 ✨

Summary: when a job goes awry, and Matthias’ mistake gets Y/N injured, hidden feelings come to the surface resulting in a sweet confession.

#six of crows x reader #matthias helvar x reader #matthias helvar #matthias helvar x y/n #Matthias Helvar x you

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hyper-fixated-princess · 6 months

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I can’t stop crying. Not just cause I’m sad, but because I’m also FUCKING. PISSED.

Netflix can’t keep doing shit like this. Playing with fans like that, giving them a show to love and support and then snatch it away like it’s no more than a number on the sales chart of the year.

They shouldn’t even be allowed to start filming book adaptations of this magnitude without some sort of certainty for the fans. Without an actual plan to bring ALL the books to life. They pretend like they care about their audience with this 'Geeked Week' and 'TUDUM' bullshit and then they will go and cancel a bunch of shows like it’s nothing. Without explanation and with zero care for the millions of fans who will be emotionally affected by this.

And I’m sorry, but what the fuck are the other 4 shows that got cancelled with SaB???!?!! I had NEVER heard of them, EVER. One of them is an animated show that has Elvis Preasley as a secret agent, like, GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK. It is truly insulting that they even put SaB and the SoC spinoff in that same category. It feels like they’re laughing to our faces.

And to make it even worse, they give shows like 'Elite' SEVEN FUCKING SEASONS!! SEVEN!!!! A series about teenagers that just fuck each other and that everyone thinks it’s SHIT. And they also make movies like 'The Archies', a 'Riverdale' spin-off (aka the show EVERYONE was glad it finally ended).

But “oh no! God forbid we renew shows that have relatable, lovable characters, loyal fanbases and good storytelling. Now that would be awful.” So they go off and cancel 'Shadow and Bone', and the 'Six of Crows' spinoff, and 'Anne With an E', '1899', 'I Am Not Okay With This', 'Sense8', 'Glow', 'Julie and the Phantoms', 'Daredevil' and the list goes ON AND ON.

Fuck you Netflix. FUCK. YOU.

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amsgrey · 1 year

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take it slow

Kaz Brekker x Fem! reader

request:

hi love!! could you please do a Kaz Brekker x reader where the reader helps Kaz cut his hair?? maybe it’s super hard for Kaz to do it himself for some reason and he finally lets reader help. they take it really slow tho so kaz is comfortable. thanks 🥰🥰

warnings: not proof-read, canon typical violence, talking of gambling, a whole lot of angsty fluff, Kaz working through his skin aversion/phobia, switches a lot between the reader's pov and Kaz's, I tried to be fancy with the wiring but its meh, mid ending

You sighed, looking out over the bustling tables and colourful clothes that made up the Crow Club. Pigeons and regulars crowd the tables to avoid the pouring rain beyond the doors. Nights like this were freezing, the Ketterdam cold had a way of finding the cracks in buildings. Seeping into homes and putting out fires. Whenever it would get too bad, the Crow Club would get busier. Kaz carefully built the club to be enticing, it was hard to leave the comfort of warmth with weather like tonight.

You were in charge tonight, a steep task seeming the steady stream of people entering the club. Kaz had locked himself in his room at the slat, the last job the crows had gone on went south. Kaz took a bullet to the arm, effectively losing his strength for the foreseeable future. It had made him sourer than usual, he had chewed Jesper out for being careless and letting the job go south.

You looked over at the gunslinger now, sitting at a table with Wylan, the latter trying to stop too much money from being squandered. You had promised to stake him for the night, to make up for the way Kaz had treated him, it was the least you could do. Even so, you still felt the gnaw of guilt watching him at the table. You weren't a fan of gambling, at least not the kind Jesper was. He liked the thrill of the unknown, but he never knew when to stop. At least Wylan was with him now, supervising to be sure Jesper had a good time but not so much that he would regret it.

Nina and Matthias were here tonight as well, they hardly ever stayed around the club, but tonight Nina had convinced Matthias to have a drink and enjoy the night. Inej had been with them at the start of the night but had since slunk off to do what she did best. You hoped Kaz hadn't sent her on any errands tonight, you worried the spider might just get washed off her perch if she was. The steep gables of Ketterdam were treacherous on a clear day, they would be lethal tonight.

You were startled when a shout echoed around the room, the man it came from was clearly unhappy with his hand. He stood from his seat and grabbed the dealer by his collar, shaking and shouting in his face. You rolled your eyes, men who lost at the tables often blamed the dealers for their misfortune. The man yelling had silenced the club, everyone watching as Keeg pushed his way over to the man. Fighting and violence were not allowed in the Crow Club, if you had an issue you took it outside. You watched from the stairs as Keeg seized the man and hauled him away from the tables, tossing him outside into the rain with a terse warning not to stick around. The room was bustling again before the doors even closed.

You climbed down the stairs and headed to where Matthias and Nina were sitting, comfortably tucked into one of the quieter corners of the club. Nina lit up when she saw you, as she always did.

'Are you here to join us?" She asked, gesturing to the empty seat beside her.

You shook your head, "Have you seen Kaz tonight?"

Nina rolled her eyes, "I offered to help him with his arm but he refused." She crossed her arms, "Quite rudely, actually."

You offered her a small smile that felt fake, "Sounds like Kaz."

Nina waved her hand dismissively, taking a sip of her drink.

You turned to look back over the club, knowing you should be focused on the events that transpired here, but being unable to stop your mind wander back to the attic of the slat.

Kaz was not the easiest person to love but you did so anyway. Last night you had tried to offer him comfort, but he had lashed out and left you feeling stupid. You knew he had regretted his words, the moment he said them his eyes gave away his shock. Kaz was all sharp lines and harshness, he had boarded his heart up with cruel words and violent ways. You knew that he would not change at the drop of a hat, but you saw the good in him. The good he spent years burying so deep he couldn't find it himself. So you stayed patient, you gave him space when he needed it. Cautious not to smother him or hasten him when he was not ready. He would let you in, piece by piece until all his walls were gone, and he felt safe with you.

In the last few months since getting closer, Kaz had let you past his defences. He quietly told you small details about himself. How he had grown up outside of Lij, on a farm he had left behind after his father's death. How he was always fascinated with sleight of hand - magic - even as he outgrew childhood. He had even slowly told you about his brother. Only small things, like how he had been 5 years older and had died not long after they came to Ketterdam. You could see how hard it was for him to share those small things, watch him fight with himself about if he should tell you. So in turn, you told him about your own quietly kept secrets. It was a strange transaction, but you could feel the bond between you both strengthening the more you shared in the quiet of Kaz's room.

Nina pulled you from your trance with a hand on your arm, she drew your attention back to the present. You turned to look at her, knowing already she could feel how your heart was racing with worry.

"You should go try again," She said, squeezing your hand.

"I'm meant to be closing."

"We can do it," Matthias replied, "Jesper and Wylan will help."

You looked over to where Wylan and Jesper were, they seemed to feel your eyes on them and they turned and offered smiles.

"Go," Nina urged again, "Before I change my mind and cozy up in bed."

You hugged your friend tight, thanking her and asking her to pass on thanks to Wylan and Jesper.

You forced yourself out the doors before you could dwell too much more on it. Keeg waved you off, letting you know he would keep watch as you were gone.

You shoved your hands into your pockets as you walked, keeping your head down to avoid the rain as much as possible. You walked as quickly as you could, sticking to the side of buildings to avoid getting drenched in the downpour.

As you crossed over the bridge a few blocks away from the slat, Inej fell into step beside you. You were used to the Suli girl appearing at your side, if It were anyone else you would get startled, but Inej was always a comforting presence. Sometimes you felt like she was a saint, the way she watched over you and the crows. You told her this often, reminding her of how appreciative you were to have a friend like her around.

"Kaz hasn't sent you on any jobs tonight has he?"

Inej shook her head, "No."

You let out a breathy laugh, "Then why were you jumping across the rooftops?"

You knew the answer.

"I feel at home on the roofs, it's my own Ketterdam."

You hummed, taking in her answer. Inej told you about the time she spent training on the highwire as a child, how she loved the feeling of being free so high off the ground. She was brave and unwavering like that and you admired her greatly for it.

As you came up on the Slat, Inej disappeared back into the shadows of the night. She would return to the club, or retire to her room, but she enjoyed climbing her way across Ketterdam and you were happy to let her do so.

The slat was mostly quiet when you entered. Anika and a few other Dregs were drinking and conversing quietly as if not to disturb anyone. You knew it was to not bother Kaz. Although Dirtyhands had put in a lot of effort and money into making the slat warm and dry, voices still carried. Most nights you could hear conversations from the bottom floor all the way in Kaz's attic, it was how you knew whenever Jesper got back. He was loud enough to be heard all over the slat.

You started your climb up the stairs, watching your rain-soaked boots take each step with certainty. Although you climbed these stairs multiple times a day, you still felt as if you might trip down them. They were narrow and steep, a recipe for disaster when the rain made your shoes slippery.

Three floors up, you stopped in your room. It was hardly a room and more of a closet, fitting your cot and dresser and not much else. You truly didn't mind, you were right next door to Inej and you only ever came to your room to sleep or change.

You kicked off your boots and stripped off your socks, replacing them quickly with a dry pair to keep your feet warm. You shrugged off your jacket and hung it on the door handle , with any luck it would dry before you would need it again tomorrow. You slipped out of the room and headed back to the stairs to Kaz's room.

Your feet made no sound as you climbed the steps, the silence of your movements allowing you to listen for Kaz in his room. Most of the time you would hear him shuffling through papers, but tonight there was little noise coming from behind the door. As you reached up to knock you prayed he wasn't sleeping.

"Yes?"

You cracked open the door, surprised to find Kaz wasn't sitting at his desk but standing in front of the small mirror in the corner of the room. He had scissors in his good hand, the other shakingly brushing back his hair from his face.

You had noticed how Kaz's hair had gotten much longer lately. The dark strands often blocking his eyes. You knew it drove him crazy, he hated having his hair in his eyes, but he had been too busy to fix it for now.

Kaz shared how he cut his own hair not long ago, you remembered the conversation vividly. He had caught his reflection in the mirror as he washed his hands in the small basin, asking you if you liked his hair.

You had been surprised, Kaz never cared for what others thought of his appearance. You told him the truth, that you loved his hair. Loved how he took time to cut it and try to style it, to you it showed his quiet care. When you asked why he was suddenly concerned, he mentioned how Nina had teased him about it once. It had been a harmless comment, but to him brought back the fact that he feared others touch so much he couldn't bare to let someone else cut it. So it looked rough, uneven in some parts and sometimes much shorter than he intended. You offered to help him when he was ready, but he had yet to take you up on the offer.

"Kaz," You sighed, taking a tentative step forward as if not to startle him. "You should be resting."

Kaz just frowned at his reflection.

His hands were shaking, you noticed. His right hand with the scissors shook so subtly that you might have missed It if you weren't looking. His other hand gripped tight to the side of the basin, as he fought the pain that throbbed down his bicep.

"I can't stand it anymore," Kaz growled, glaring at the hair that kept flopping in his face.

You chuckled, watching the man glower at his reflection with all his barrel brutality.

Crossing the room towards him, you held out your hand, "Let me help."

Kaz stared at your hand like it was foreign. You waited patiently as he had an internal battle. You felt a pang of sympathy when you watched a look of longing pass over Kaz's face. He wanted to let you help, he wanted nothing more than to feel your hands running through his hair with the tender care you always held. But the waters were always there, right below him. If he let you help, they might just swallow him whole.

Finally, Kaz resigned the scissors to you with a sigh.

You smiled at him, "We'll take it slowly." You promised, "If it gets too much, tell me and we’ll stop."

Kaz nodded.

He watched you in the mirror as you stood behind him, assessing what he had already done and what you would do. You knew he liked it a certain way, you spent enough time staring at him to memorize how it always looked. You made eye contact with Kaz in the mirror.

"Ready?"

Kaz nodded, taking in a deep breath.

You ran your hand through his hair, combing it back off his face with your fingers. You could almost feel how Kaz relaxed, his tense shoulders falling just a little. You took it as a good sign, continuing to gently pull his hair away from his face and start cutting.

It was slow going, you paused every few minutes to remind Kaz to breathe and release the tension in his muscles. You had no intention of making him suffer through his flashbacks alone. So you muttered reassuring words, offering to take a longer break or to step back for a moment as he processed. Kaz would shake his head, refusing to let you move away in case he would never feel you close again.

Your body was so warm he could feel it through the shirt on his back. You were always comforting and warm like a fire on a cold day. Kaz sometimes felt himself leaning into the feeling, leaning into you. Getting close to someone after so many years of pushing everyone away was terrifying for him. But he was determined to work through it, to be worthy of the gentleness and care you bestowed on him.

When you were done, you ran your fingers through his hair one last time. Your fingertips brushed against the skin on the back of his neck. Typically, the feeling would repulse him, send him spiralling into the frigid waves, but now he felt warmth grow from where you touched. He let out a sigh, revelling in the peace that he felt at that moment. It had been so long since skin-on-skin contact had made him feel something other than repulsion, he had almost forgotten what it was like.

You stepped back, placing the scissors on the desk and giving him space. You were buzzing with emotions and you feared they might just burst out of you if you stayed too close.

The room was silent, the only sound coming from you and Kaz's quiet breaths. You could feel your heart beating erratically, it pulsated through your body as you tried to steady it. Kaz was staring at your handiwork in the mirror, his hands running through it and feeling how it reacted. After a few tense moments, he turned to you, the smallest of smiles on his lips.

Kaz's smiles were hard to earn. Often, it felt like his only facial expression was the stern frown he always wore. But every now and again, in the safety of these four walls, his eyes would relax and his lips pull upwards.

The first time Kaz had smiled at you, you had felt drunk. You could live in that moment for a million years and never grow sick of it. His smile was so gentle, it warmed you from the inside out. You searched for that feeling everywhere, but it only ever came when Kaz smiled.

You felt hopelessly lovesick now, staring into the eyes of the bastard of the barrel. He was so different within these walls, still sarcastic and ill-tempered at times, but also gentle and caring. When he allowed himself the chance to feel safe, you could see the little boy from Lij who loved magic and games.

"Thank you."

You could only just hear the words over the roar of your heartbeat, offering Kaz a tight-lipped smile and a wave of your hand.

"It's no problem."

You both stayed silent for a little longer, looking everywhere but at each other. You were brimming with butterflies, the same giddy feeling you got when you had your first crush.

Kaz stood from his perch, slowly limping over to you. You waited as he did so, worried a move might break the spell that overcame you both. You fiddled with your fingers, trying to calm the thoughts racing through your mind.

Kaz reached out a gloved hand, holding your hand to stop your anxious habit. You had held his hand before, mostly when he wore his gloves so that he wouldn't get too overwhelmed, but it always made you feel safe. The most dangerous man in all of Ketterdam was not dirtyhands here, he was Kaz, gentle and loving.

You watched silently as Kaz pulled his hand away and slipped his gloves off. You knew that he preferred to take things slowly, he needed to take things slowly. You were in no rush, you had all the time in the world for the man before you.

Kaz's hands were still shaky, trembling ever so slightly as he reached for you again. He slowly raised his good hand to your face, hesitating before making contact. His eyes held a question, asking kindly for your permission. You accepted with a small nod, unable to help the tiny smile on your lips. Kaz's hand was colder than you were expecting as he cupped your cheek, you were sure he would be able to feel how hot you were. His slender fingers sat against your jawline, his thumb feathering across your cheekbone, like he was exploring your face. You subconsciously leaned into his hand, closing your eyes and letting a sigh slip from your lips. You could live here forever, in this safety and warmth, tucked away from the prying eyes of Ketterdam.

Kaz took a shaky breath in and you pulled away, startled that you might have pushed him too far. He only smiled, taking a small step forward and keeping his hand on your cheek. You could feel his breath on your skin now, the ghosting of his fingers. It almost felt like a dream. Kaz leaned in a little closer, your foreheads almost touching. His eyes flickered from your lips to your eyes and back.

Kaz wanted nothing more than to close the gap between you and press his lips to yours. You were so warm, your face tucked into his hand like it was made to be held by him. Your breath tickled his skin, it reminded him how you were here, alive. Saints, if he could just lean forward and-

All at once the water was snatching him under. The feeling of your skin turning cold and deathly. He lurched back, holding in his gags of disgust as the freezing waters overtook him.

"Kaz?"

He fell backwards, scrambling to put space between you both as he choked on the waters.

You could only watch as Kaz scrambled away from you, unable to do anything to stop him. He pulled himself as far away from you as he could, becoming a mess of shaking and shuddering breaths. He was panicking, the anxiety and fear clearly written across his features. It hurt, you wanted to help him but you feared you might only make it worse.

You knew you wouldn't be able to leave him in such a state, hyperventilating on the floor of his room. So you slowly lowered yourself to the ground, a good meter away from him to not suffocate him.

"I'm here, Kaz," You said softly, watching over him, "You're safe."

He took another few shuddering breaths, but they were slower than the last. You took it as a sign to keep going.

"Take it slow," You spoke just above a whisper, "I'm not going anywhere."

You stayed a safe distance away as Kaz calmed down, watching over him and offering quiet reassurances as he slowly came to himself. When the panic was gone from his eyes, it was replaced with guilt. You knew how hard it was for Kaz to touch skin, you didn't know exactly why, but you didn't mind taking things slow for him.

You cut Kaz before he could say he was sorry, "It's okay."

Kaz reached for his gloves and shoved them on, "It's not."

You shuffled a little closer, "Kaz." The boy looked up at you with his dark eyes, "Truly, it's alright. I will wait for you. If it takes days, weeks or years, I will be here."

Kaz's eyes were glossy, you had never seen him cry but perhaps this was the closest he ever got.

"You, Kaz Brekker, are worth waiting for."

Kaz looked down, "Rietveld."

It caught you entirely off guard, "What?"

Kaz slowly lifted his eyes to yours, "My real name is Kaz Rietveld."

Your face burst into a bright grin, "Well, Kaz Rietveld, it's nice to meet you."

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witchthewriter · 2 years

Note

Hello there!! 💕 Can I please request some headcanons of what being Matthias Helvar’s wife would include, please? Thank you so much!!!

Hey! Of course I can, thank you so much for requesting x

Also, I didn't know if you wanted Matthias from the show or from Six of Crows. So I just went with the show because there'd be fewer/no spoilers...

⤷ female, ambiguous race & any/all size reader!

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐚𝐬 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐚𝐫’𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

🌿ISTJ 🍁Gryffindor 🔮Virgo Sun, Taurus Moon, Cancer Rising

SFW

⭑ Is always a gentleman around you, wants you to always feel like royalty

⭑ He also always wants you to feel safe with him. If you ever feel uncomfortable - he wants to know. Matthias is diligent in that way; he doesn’t want his wife to be in distress in any type of way.

⭑ Doesn’t like any secrets between the two of you; he wants everything to be open and honest

⭑ He likes making sure you’re always warm; giving you his jacket, scarves, gloves etc

⭑ Being significantly shorter than him. He loves this because he feels like your protector

⭑ Eating different types of food when you go out. You’re always trying to find the best meal together <3

⭑ He flusters so easily

⭑ Matthias loves buying trinkets from the markets you go to, they’re reminders of where you’ve both been

⭑ He’s super sentimental and will often remember anniversaries more than you

⭑ His pet names for you are in Fjerdan but they translate to my love, my life.

⭑ Isn’t huge on PDA, but likes others to know that you’re his and he is yours.

⭑ Even though you can defend yourself, Matthias will jump in front of you whenever there’s a sign of trouble

⭑ VERY CONSIDERATE

⭑ He is so happy and proud to call you his wife. Your bravery, your humour, the love you have. It’s overwhelming to him. He just adores you!

⭑ Your wedding was quaint. He didn’t invite his family and yours were dead, so it was your friends and found-family.

⭑ He cried when he saw you walk down the aisle.

⭑ Met because you were a part of the Grisha order and you saved his life. He was so angry that you did and said he would rather die.

“So, die.”

⭑ Turns out you were childhood friends that had completely lost each other because of a traumatic raid on your village

⭑ Your mother was Grisha and your father was from Fjerda.

⭑ Relationship tropes: ♥ Flirt x Flustered Mess ♥ Big soft x Small tough ♥ 2 Idiots in Love <3

NSFW 🔞 minors dni!!!

⭑ He’s so gentle and careful with you. I think you would have to urge him to be rougher.

⭑ He likes it when you dominate him

⭑ Loves your thighs, especially if they’re on the bigger side. He also loves them wrapped around his head.

⭑ LOVES sucking on your nipples; when you’re laying in bed he’ll take your tits out of your shirt and start to squeeze and lick your nipples until they’re hard

⭑ His favourite positions are spooning, missionary and cowgirl

⭑ Likes to kiss all over your body

⭑ He does feel a bit insecure because he doesn’t have much experience

⭑ But part of your relationship is that you learn and grow together

⭑ I really think Matthias has a breeding kink - and it turns him on an incomprehensively amount.

He likes the thought of planting his seed within you and watching your belly grow.

However, if you do not want to be pregnant then it is only a fantasy, and the boundaries will always be upheld

⭑ Actually really enjoys eating you out. He loves the way you taste and smell. It’s intoxicating.

⭑ Matthias tries to be romantic; lighting candles and seducing you. But all he needs to do is give you a smirk and you’d get on your knees

⭑ When you started to give him a blow job, he was shocked.

“What are you doing?” He looked at you with wide eyes as you knelt before him.

“I’m going to ... you know ...” you gestured to his undone pants and blushed.

⭑ The aftercare is amazing. Matthias will do whatever you want. You need to bathe? He’ll run the bath and carry you over. You just want to be held? He will do so until you fall asleep. This man is a simp with a capital SIMP.

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hottpinkpenguin · 7 months

Note

Hello, could you possibly write a oneshot where the reader is from abusive household and she gets put into arranged marriage with Matthias and after a while he learns that secret about her and is even more sweet and caring and overprotective of her? I know this might be a triggering topic for some but sometimes a good fluff makes you feel a whole lotta better no? :)

A/n: Hello lovely-- this was a great request, perfect fit for Matthias. I took a tiny bit of creative license and maybe there's a part 2 to be written? idk lemme know what you think! <3

Fire and Ice - Matthias X Fem!Reader

Warnings: cursing, implied past abuse, mentions of reader scars, not proofread Word Count: 1246

You thought you’d hidden your shaking hands better than this. Matthias was already proving problematically observant.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?” He closed the door to your shared quarters on the top floor of the Crow Club, shutting out the merry din from the packed bar below. Closing the distance between you, he stepped forward and grasped your hands in his. He turned them over in his hands - strong and calloused - as if searching for an answer in the lines of your palms.

You shook your head, anxious to swat this conversation away. He ducked his chin down to force you to meet his gaze, something you’d been avoiding for the past few minutes.

“I… I can’t… I can’t talk about it…” you offered weakly. Your voice was shaking to match your quaking hands now. That familiar terror was creeping up in your chest. You had the urge to find a corner somewhere and press your back into it. Corners had always been the safest place at home. Corners meant that no one could surprise you from behind. You could see anything that came your way - shoes, dishes, and fists. Seeing them didn’t make the bruises or cuts hurt less, per se, but at least the pain wasn’t mixed with shock.

“You’re shaking like a leaf.” He stepped forward, wrapping his strong arms around you. You froze, rigid from surprise and discomfort. He was warm and firm and all around you in an instant, enveloping you and restricting your movement. He rested his cheek on the top of your head as his hands rubbed up and down your back. You wondered if he could feel the decades-old scars there, etched across your shoulder blades. A permanent reminder of where you’d come from.

“Stop it,” you growled, your voice taut like a wire. Matthias stepped back, letting his arms drop, a fleeting shadow of hurt dancing across his face. For the briefest moment, you had the inexplicable urge to step back to him, to let his embrace swallow you whole again. The urge was foreign to you - you’d never wanted to be close to anyone before. The only desires you’d ever felt in relation to other people was the desire to get away from them. Although, in all fairness, no one had ever given you a reason to want anything other than to be alone. You’d accumulated enough bruises, burns, scars, and dark memories to prove that a hundred times over.

“Y/n, talk to me. What’s going on.”

Matthias’ wintry blue eyes studied you with a mix of curiosity and worry. It was tender in a way that made you want to smack him. He had no business caring so much. An inexplicable flare of anger boiled in your chest.

“Why do you care anyways?” you spat, ripping your hands out of his grasp. “You barely fucking know me. Don’t start pretending that this-” you gestured at the space between the two of you “-is anything more than what it is: an arranged marriage that neither of us fucking wanted.”

Your breathing was getting shallower, more frantic. The feeling of terror was blooming in your chest, fueled by rage and the unquenchable desire to sink into the floor and be ignored. The words were coming quicker now, falling out of your mouth before you knew what you were saying.

“So just leave me alone, don’t worry about it, because I’m not your goddamn concern!”

Matthias didn’t recoil from your outburst. He held your gaze, his handsome face a portrait-worthy picture of concern.

“I care because you’re clearly in pain. Do I need any other reason?”

That blaze of anger that you’d directed outwards suddenly turned inwards. Shame bubbled in your gut as you realized he wasn’t going to turn away from you. You hadn’t realized it until now, but that was why your anger rose up so quickly. It was trying to shield the parts of you that didn’t want to be looked at or questioned. And until now, it had always worked. People gave you a wide berth, even your “friends” the Crows. All it took was a flash of anger every now and again, and you’d had everything you thought you’d ever wanted: privacy, isolation, and no one close enough to hurt you ever again.

Until now, that was.

As you looked across the space separating you and Matthias, your anger and terror was beginning to give way to something bigger and softer. You couldn’t name the emotion, but it hung somewhere between comfort and longing. Those feelings were unusual for you. The closest you came to comfortable in relationships was around animals, horses in particular. You’d never met another person that brought this out of you before.

You stared at Matthias incredulously and in a long, weighty silence. To his credit, he held your gaze patiently, seemingly content to give you peace while you plundered clumsily through these strange emotions.

After a few minutes, you cleared your throat and offered him a very hesitant half-smile. “I can’t talk about it with you,” you told him. The same heartbreaking look of disappointment darkened his face momentarily. “Not today,” you went on. “But one day. I will. I promise.”

You didn’t like the way a promise made you feel, but as soon as you tossed those words out towards him, you knew it was the right thing. Some knot of tension deep inside you snapped loose at those words. You’d hold to your promise, too. You knew it as much as you knew that the sky above is blue.

Matthias chewed on the inside of his lip, clearly a bit dissatisfied that he wasn’t going to get satisfaction today. After a few moments, he nodded. “One day,” he echoed. You nodded, dropping your eyes to the floor and fidgeting with the ring on your left hand. It still felt odd to wear a wedding ring there, but you were growing fond of the way the sapphire and garnet in the band caught the firelight.

“Why these stones?” you blurted out suddenly. Matthias cocked an eyebrow at you, as surprised by your off-topic question as you were. Something about the vulnerability of your promise had loosened your tongue. You worried he would think you silly and shake his head, but instead he smiled, gazing gently at the ring on your finger.

“Fire and ice,” he replied cryptically with a mischievous grin.

You looked down at the ring - the two stones cut in long rectangles, set so closely together that they touched, ringed by small diamonds. Fire and ice… opposites at face value, but complementing forces. Equal in their destructive potential. Maybe that was what Matthias was getting at… and yet, when balanced, weren’t fire and ice also life-giving?

Your eyes met his. He was still smiling at you, his expression unreadable. No longer a smirk, something different now. Pride, maybe? Although you knew you didn’t deserve it, you couldn’t help but bask a little in the admiration you saw in his eyes. A blush stained your cheeks as you looked back at the ring.

“You and me?” you asked, eyes darting between the rings and the man across from you.

His smile confirmed your theory, and he nodded once.

“You and me,” he repeated softly. “Fire and ice.”

You let the light refracting in the two stones dazzle you for a moment longer. Fire and ice, you thought. Matthias and I…

I could get used to that.

#shadow and bone requests #matthias helvar x y/n #matthias helvar x you #matthias helvar imagine #matthias helvar #matthias helvar x reader #matthias helvar angst #shadow and bone fic #matthias helvar requests

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restinslices · 5 months

Text

Liar Pt2

Me finally writing the part 2?! Wow! So this part is honestly filler. It's Matthias being in his own head and meeting Nina, who will become an ally. Imma be real, nothing happens BUT LISTEN- it's setting shit up. Have faith. Enjoy his mental crisis. Druskelle!Matthias Helvar x Heartrender!Wife!Reader (she does not make an apperance-) Word Count: 2059 Summary: Ever since you've left, Matthias has had conflicting thoughts about your relationship and it's driving him insane, but an unlikely friend makes him realize not all hope is lost. Y/N - Your Name D/N - Daughter Name Link to part 1

(Lowkey should've used this gif for part 1 and part1's for this, but rip)

“Dear my love and life,

I don’t know what to say. Maybe I should say sorry again for the whatever thousandth time. I never know how to start these, so I always say I’m sorry. I wish Djel gave me the power to go back in time and fix the mistakes I’ve made. I wish I could go back and hug you when you told me about you being Grisha, instead of pushing you away. I wish I would’ve held you and told you I’d forever love you instead of calling you a witch. I wish when I woke up, I had my wife beside me and my daughter in the room next to ours. I have lots of wishes, and since I can’t change the past, I have a wish that’s selfish and cruel.

I wish you both were dead. I wish that the Druskelle had found and killed you two, or all of you instead of just Elise and Erik.

I know I sound terrible, but not knowing where you are or how you are hurts more than you two being dead. I wish that one day, I’m sitting at home and someone comes in to say they found and killed you both.

Am I a bad person for thinking this? I’ve heard rumors about other countries. I’ve heard Ravka trains their children for war. I’ve heard Shu Han does terrible experiments on Grisha. I’ve heard in The Wandering Isle that the Kaelish kill Grisha so they can drink their blood. I’ve heard in Kerch, Grisha are put under contracts and basically become slaves. I’d rather you be dead than go through any of that.

My love, you remember the day I proposed to you. I know you do. What you don’t know is that the night before I did so, I sat outside for hours. I couldn’t possibly sleep when I was terrified about what I was gonna do. I saw a star that shined brighter than the others, and for some reason, I thought it could be Djel watching over me. I prayed and begged Djel to convince you to say yes, and you did.

Maybe that’s what I’m doing wrong. Maybe I’m too busy wishing, instead of praying, but I haven’t felt like praying in so long. Maybe if I find that star again, he’ll hear me better like he did the first time. Maybe I’ll get another chance and we’ll all run away. Maybe-”

“Anything going on up there?” the Grisha woman asked.

Matthias found himself writing a lot since you left. Not in some diary though. He’d write letters to you and his daughter, then throw them in the fireplace and watch it be engulfed in flames.

At first the letters were angry and full of betrayal. You lied to him for years. You used him. That’s what he thought at first.

It had been days and you hadn’t been caught. He happened to have paper and ink around him, so he wrote this letter filled with insults, profanities and accusations, then he threw it in the fireplace. Although he wrote all this down, about how you were a liar and a witch, he didn’t go with the druskelle to try and capture you. Others assumed that your “witchcraft” made him still feel sick, but in reality, Matthias knew deep down that if he saw you he wouldn’t be able to take the shot. He would’ve been expected to either kill or capture his ex wife and child and he knew he couldn't. You were his love, and once your daughter was born, you both promised each other to make her number one in your lives. You’d raise her with love and guidance and make sure she never knew a lonely day. You even promised each other that if one was to die, the other had to keep going everyday even if they didn’t want to. You both promised to make her your whole life. Now he was expected to forget all about that. He wanted to forget all about you, but he couldn’t.

His letters went from angry to pleading. Sometimes his letters would be destroyed by his own tears before it even reached the fire. This especially happened whenever an important date passed, like your daughter’s birthday. It hit him hard then. The loneliness became more apparent. Matthias had quit being a Druskelle, telling Brum some bullshit about how his head still didn’t feel right and he didn’t want to mess something up. In reality, being a Druskelle didn’t feel right anymore. His brothers gave him sympathy, saying you were evil and he was strong for realizing this and breaking out of your spell, but it didn’t make sense. When people look back at their memories with a manipulator or abuser, they notice signs. They see things they didn’t see before. And while Matthias did indeed notice signs that you were Grisha, he didn’t see any signs of evil.

Matthias knew you even before his family was killed, and you stood by him as he mourned. You stayed even when he was sure you’d leave. How could you possibly be evil? It didn’t make sense.

Matthias doesn’t know why he accepted Brum’s offer to go on another exploration. Maybe it was loneliness. He had practically isolated himself for two years. No more you. No more D/N. No more brotherhood.

Or maybe he was hoping somehow they’d find you and he’d be able to escape with you.

Either way, he accepted. A mistake.

The boat ended up sinking and Matthias was sure he’d die, until he suddenly felt his heart speeding up in his chest. When he came to, he realized one of the Grisha, a heartrender with brown hair and a smart mouth, had saved him. Granted, it was just so he could push them to shore, but at least he was breathing.

They found a hut, slept by each other, and that’s when he realized two things.

Number one, your wedding ring, which he always kept in his pocket, was gone.

Number two, when the woman sped his heart up so he stayed warm, it felt familiar. It was how he felt when he laid next to you. He always assumed that maybe his heart beat so fast because being near you was the greatest honor and he hadn’t gotten used to it. He’d still say that was true, but the reality was that you used your power to keep him warm every single night. If he hadn’t been around someone, he might’ve cried.

He heard fingers snapping next to his ear. “Druskelle? Anyone up there?”.

Matthias blinked hard to snap himself out of his thoughts, then cleared his throat. His eyes had been on the fire in front of him the whole time, as if he could burn his letter like he usually did. He looked to the side as the woman sat next to him. He couldn’t even remember what they were talking about.

It was as if she read his mind since next she said, “you were telling me all about Fjerdan woman then you stopped. Hoping one appears?”.

“Yes” he answered without thinking.

~~~

Matthias refused to answer any of her questions. In all honesty, she was annoying him. She was incredibly nosey and kept insisting they were lost, but they couldn’t have been lost because Druskelle didn’t get lost! All trees look the same! Rocks look the same! A certain patch of snow looked the same as other patches of snow!

They were lost. Dammit.

Matthias sat on a big rock with a flat top in defeat. What good was being alive if they were just gonna freeze to death?

The woman sat next to him, “I’m gonna ask a few questions if you don’t mind”.

“I do mind”.

“What’s your name? I like ‘Dumb Druskelle’ but surely you were born with something else. Todd? A Kevin maybe? James?”. Matthias hated she gave the same comfort a friend would. It was strange. He didn’t know her, but he had been so lonely that he enjoyed having someone else near. And if he was gonna die, he wouldn’t mind dying with someone else.

Although Matthias was silent, she kept going. “Who’s back home for you?”.

“No one” he thought.

The woman pulled something out of one of her pockets and presented it to him. It was your wedding ring, the one he thought probably sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Before he could speak she said “I grabbed it before it sunk too far. Figured I could use it as leverage to make you get us to shore, but you agreed before I could”. Matthias took it and since no one he knew was around, he put it back on.

Some people prefer the feeling of a weight lifting off of them, but he preferred the weight the ring added to his finger even if it wasn’t that huge of a change. The woman was still looking at him then he had an idea. If she was Ravkan and you ran there, maybe she knew you! He asked her if he knew a woman fitting your description with a child that had recently came to Ravka. When she said she was usually in and out of the palace, but had gotten a letter from a friend who mentioned a new Grisha with a child he felt conflicted. On one hand, this could’ve been you and this meant you were safe. On the other hand, this meant his daughter was probably being trained to become a soldier for whatever other war Ravka would join.

She made a sarcastic remark, asking if he had been hunting this woman also and she happened to get away. He spilled his guts then. He told her everything. How you met, how you were always there for him, how you fell in love, your marriage, your child, the incident, him turning on you. All of it. It felt amazing to say out loud to someone else.

“You had an incredible wife but chased her and your child away? Remember when I said there was a brain inside all that muscle? I lied”. He didn’t argue. What was the point? “What would you do if you managed to see her or your child again?”.

He thought about this every night and he still didn’t know. He’d apologize but what then? Let you go? Beg for another chance? What if you had met someone else by now? “I don’t know” he answered honestly “but I’d beg for as long as she wanted me to”.

“You do realize that you were gonna kill more Grisha on that boat right?”

“You would go on trial”

“Your trials are a sham, we’ve been over this. The loneliness won’t end by becoming a Druskelle again. You and I both know it”. Matthias went quiet again as he thought. He hated she was nosey, he hated that everything that came out her mouth was sarcastic or said with an attitude, but more importantly

He hated she was right.

“I have known one way my entire life. I don’t know how to be anything else. I… I don’t know if I can be better”.

“It’s possible” she said. She stood and moved so she was in his view. “Get on your feet-”. It all happened so quick then. She backed up, then all Matthias heard was the ground crumbling and her screams. He dived down, catching her hands.

She pleaded for Matthias to pull her up and for a split second, he thought he’d let her fall.

He refused to turn his back on anyone else though.

He pulled her up and let her catch her breath on the ground. After a few seconds, he stood with his hand outstretched, “Matthias… Helvar”.

She took his hand and let him help her to her feet. “Nina Zenik. Nice to make your acquaintance”. Matthias draped one of the fur coverings he was wearing on her shoulders then they started walking again.

“You saved my life”

“I put you in chains. It was the least I could do”.

“That’s all very true, but I was going to say something before I fell”. Nina grabbed his arm, making him stop and look at her.

“I’m going to help you find your family”.

A/N: I need to stop deciding to write at 11pm-. Anyway, did anything really happen this part? No. Lowkey this should say part 1.5 but that looks ugly so here we are. I will not procrastinate for another two months, I promise. Also I remembered that Matthias is 18 and ya'll kid is 10, so uhhh let's say the kid is 6 and ya'll are mid twenties. Imma edit the last part too, don't even worry. I think part 3 will be the last part unless I decide it's too long and split it. Taglist: @luvrrish @katie-the-bookworm @favouritefeverdream (Idk if you wanted to be tagged, but you commented so imma do it anyway)

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