alright, some misogynist and ableist goons on this site keep bothering me about my jkr post because they cannot fathom the fact that calling out bias doesn't necessarily equal endorsing. so i'm going to be super nice about it and put all the facts here for the fact-enjoyers.

let's go over the claims made against jkr by testerical twitterheads, because everything to do with trans politics regarding jkr is just extremist white liberals reaching.

Claim: JK Rowling is friends with Matt Walsh. False!

Claim: JK Rowling is friends with Kellie-Jay Keen. Ambiguous! (She has agreed with Kellie-Jay Keen on several issues and advocated for her based on false allegations about nazism concerning Kellie-Jay Keen. Men-rights activists made shit up about her endorsing nazi salutes at her women's campaign. also, JK Rowling has agreed with many people whose politics she does not wholly endorse, like matt walsh. agreeing with someone on an opinion or fact, does not mean you agree with their politics.)

Claim: JK Rowling denies the Holocaust. False! (For proof, see this thread. JK Rowling does not DENY that the Holocaust happened, but that trans people were specifically targeted by the Nazis. Some argue that this makes her a Holocaust denier based on some German article, but I find the term muddies the water. It can be an offense, a grievous one, to deny the Nazis did something when they did, but calling JKR a Holocaust denier makes people think she doesn't believe the Holocaust happened when she absolutely does.

Additionally, the topic as to whether trans people were explicitly targeted by Nazis has had a fair share of scholarly debate. They may have faced some measure of harassment, but being specifically targeted is also a reach considering how little historical evidence we have of transvestites being outrightly persecuted, at least, to anywhere near the same degree homosexual, black or Jewish people were. Cross-dressing certificates were legal in Nazi Germany, for example, and I have found no record of a transvestite suffering things like forced sterilization. This article briefly mentions a German author who thought that the Nazis would finally take care of "the transvestite problem" because now they could be sent to concentration camps and castrated there, but there is still no record of any transvestite having undergone such a thing. Furthermore, of the examples of transvestites that were taken to concentration camps, both of them were homosexual, so it would be more accurate to say they were targeted for being homosexual, especially when you look at why they were arrested. On the other hand, some transvestites ended up in concentration camps, but it was likely due to the fact that they were Jewish rather than trans.

It is also very significant that in the German Republic, transvestites had permits while homosexuals did not!

JKR might be denying that they burned trans books. Unfortunately for her, she is wrong. Transvestite research WAS targeted by the Nazis. Again, not much is known about transvestites during this time and I have found no solid numbers. It most definitely didn't happen on the same scale as what gay, lesbian, Jewish or Roma people were suffering through--and why would it, transvestites weren't a large population, also i have found no record of transvestites being forced to wear pink triangles, like homosexual men were--, though gay men and transvestites seemed to get more leniency if they were "Aryan." )

Claim: JK Rowling directly funds government suppression. (Which government? Source? I'll make an assumption and guess that you're referring to her 1 million pound donation to the Better Together anti-Scottish independence campaign? Yes, she has. But she respects the opinions of those who disagree with her on the subject. She's also donated to the Labour Party, which is more centre-left politically.)

Claim: JK Rowling has financially supported groups that repress Scotland's right to independence. True! (She also voted "No!" on Scottish independence).

Claim: JK Rowling is gunning to be a Neo-Nazi. False! (She has not expressed any explicit Nazi views! Please tap the source to see what Nazi views actually are! JK Rowling has been explicitly leftist in her politics and anti-racist.)

Claim: JK Rowling is a fascist. False! (She does not identify as fascist and does not have any explicit fascist views. Unlike the people burning and trying to ban her books, which contain very little of her politics.)

i don't worship JKR, i don't even agree with a good chunk of her politics. especially when it comes to her sympathy for israel. she's a millionaire white woman, and i am a born and raised african middle-class person. we won't have many politics in common. but unlike you lot, i don't need to be misogynistic or ableist in order to disagree with a woman. resorting to misogyny, ableism, racism or homophobia just because you hate someone is still misogyny, ableism, racism and homophobia. i wouldn't call a transperson the "t-word" even though i don't profess their gender faith. because i recognize that using the "t-word" on a trans-identified person that's done or said disgusting things like, idk, andrea long chu or hunter schaffer (are these your leaders? seriously?), saying that word will still hurt trans-identified people who didn't do or say those horrible things unnecessarily.

see what i did there? i read things up for myself, added sources from people i disagreed with politically, discussed the valid history of people who i disagree with without resorting to dehumanizing language, and called out the celebrity you lot think are "my hero" without being a hypocrite!

class dismissed.

now fuck off you rancid misogynists and go back to snivelling about how righteous you are to your echo chamber.

also, radblr girlies feel free to reblog or link this for all the anti-jkr posts that make any of these claims or keep trying to bait you with this braindead discourse to save yourselves the effort. love you and muah! :)

Interview 1: Miss Ayla

Ayla: You get five questions.

Daemeon: ::Salutes:: ::puts the eraser of the pencil against his bottom lip, and then busily starts crossing off questions::

Daemeon: Okay, Question One: What is your most important reason for coming back? (Miss Ayla was gone for almost three years)

Ayla: I didn't want to leave at all. But I knew I couldn't stay while Amy was working on her therapy. I knew I couldn't sit still and let her break everything that needed to be broken because my job is to keep things from breaking. And there is nowhere in all the worlds as soft as the heart where you belong.

Daemeon: ::nods wisely:: Question Two. Favorite Weapons?

Ayla: ::smiles:: Tooth and Claw. Identical Tanto. Crazy temperline, black wrought iron oblong tsuba, made in the style of the "really psycho smiley mask" I used to wear all the time. Matte black sheaths, black leather wrapped handles with black fur tufts. That was an easy one.

Daemeon: They can't all be hard ones! But I suppose that this one is probably a little harder. Question Three: What is your Job going to be now that you're back?

Ayla: ::leans forward menacingly:: Who says I need a job?

Daemeon: ::is not intimidated:: Dodging the question is not answering a question, so I get two more for every question you dodge.

Ayla: ::raises an eyebrow:: You have grown treacherous in our time apart, little one. I shall have to be more careful. But I will answer the question I have been asked. While I cannot be a disciplinarian and enforcer of perfection as I once was, I can still assist with proper application of discipline. I can remind about the agreement about discipline before pain, and compassion after. I can urge patience in the face of confusion and failure to function. And I can remind Amy to do it wrong. Whatever it is. To unlearn the way she has thought. Do it wrong to create a new way. It was easy, so easy, to slide back into place. Like a dagger into it's sheath. And who knows. Everyone else has grown. Perhaps I too will sprout wings and horns or tails like everyone else. ::smirk::

Daemeon: ::giggles:: You always were kind of, well, Normal compared to the rest of us.

Ayla: For values of normal including "most psychotic".

Daemeon: Kalok, I think, would fight you for that title.

Ayla: ::considers carefully:: I am not certain I could beat them in a fair fight. They are far too strong to confront directly. But no fight with them is ever fair, and given an opportunity to catch them off guard, I could prevail.

Daemeon: ::giggles:: I think you could. But you'd have to get Real Lucky. ::wiggles his eyebrows::

Ayla: Ask your questions, boy.

Daemeon: What is your Guilty Pleasure?

Ayla: Besides Nostalgia in general?

Daemeon: Dodging!! ::points at her with the pencil::

Ayla: Not Dodging! Clarifying!

Daemeon: ::squints skeptically:: I will let you off with a Warning.

Ayla: Ouran High School Host Club

Daemeon: ::Falls on the Floor:: OMYGOD I LOVE THAT SHOOOW! ::cackles:: I never in a Thousand years imagined that you liked it! Who is your Favorite Character!??

Ayla: Kyoya, of course. And that is your Five Questions.

Daemeon: Oh NO! You Cheated!!!!

Ayla: Not at all. I merely Counted.

Daemeon: ::pouts:: And it was just getting Good!! Well there you have it Critters and Creatures. A special Exclusive interview from under the Rock! Thanks Miss Ayla, for your time and giving us a peak under the hood!

Foggie Nelson!

general opinion: love them

hotness level: gorgeous!

hogwarts house: he'd convince the sorting hat to put him in hufflepuff but he's a slytherin at heart. he's got ambition and he's cunning as hell, take a look at every time anyone tried to throw their weight around with him (from other attorneys to the DA) and he immediately took them down. He's great at playing the game. He's a good hufflepuff--patient, fair, hard-working, all that jazz--but at the end of the day he knows how to work the system better than anyone and he knows how to use that for his ends. Luckily, his ends tend to be helping people, he's a total cowboy for all his talk of/career in working corporate, but his strategy is always cunning.

best quality: I like how he's a total ride or die but not in a way that diminishes his own value/importance? like, he's never gonna abandon matt, matt's his family, but he's also good at recognizing when matt's on some bullshit, like when he tries to pull the "i'm going away forever to protect you" superhero martyr crap. he's never a doormat but he's full of love. he's supportive and helps people but not at cost of his own worth. he's a legitimately strong force in his own right and he helps people so much but he still knows his own value.

worst quality: this isn't necessarily a quality but i kind of hated how they handled the matt-is-daredevil reveal? like, i get the betrayal part, i absolutely do and I like that they handled it, i just didn't like the parts specifically they focused on? like, the whole is-matt-really-blind bit, that should have been like, hardly a footnote in the discussion. grab a penlight and check. you live in a world with the hulk. it just seemed like there was a weirdly large insistence on matt actually being able to see when like. no. he can't. and there was this weird line where he said that for matt to keep training the way he did, he would have had to have known he was going to do this one day? but like, people train in martial arts every single day without the plan of fighting crime. like, i would have loved it way more if they focused more on the systemic lying over his injuries or for the fact that matt went into business with him and let foggy alter the course of his life without mentioning, oh yeah, i'm doing a deeply criminal act every single night. like, it just hit weird points in the conversation that always just stuck with me as off.

ship them with: matthew michael murdock ladies and gentlemen

brotp them with: also matt, avocados at law forever, but also karen. they have a fantastic buddy cop dynamic.

needs to stay away from: corporate life in general. i absolutely love the fact that he's a god of an attorney who can navigate the system like no other, but i like him way better as an advocate for the little guy than his stint in big law. i'm glad they shut down nelson & murdock in season 2, like, that was an excellent arc, but sending him into corporate life after sort of gave the impression that his decision to go into public defense was only because of his partnership with matt? like, granted, foggy wanted bagels and mourned the loss of them when they decided to not take landman & zach's offer, but he legitimately cared about all of his clients and has a very solid moral compass. he would have never made it at landman & zach's even if he had taken the original offer because it was like, corruption central and he is a good man. he would have quit a few weeks in and given them the middle finger salute on the way out the door. it was just a little bit of an off pick for me to have matt still be representing the little guy after the dissolution of nelson & murdock but to have foggy go into big law. at the end of the day, foggy cared about justice every bit as much as matt and that was a huge part about how he practiced.

misc. thoughts: love him love him love him. he's like, a legitmately good and very grounded character trapped in a workspace with two chaotic goods. he just wants to be a good and just lawyer and maybe have a nice bagel but matt wants to fight the entire organized crime structure with his bare fists and karen cannot be left unsupervised or she's off openly investigating people who can and will murder her. he's an extremely well executed lawful good sighing deeply as his chaotic good business partner fights you in a fucking halloween costume and his other chaotic good business partner calls you a little bitch while you're actively threatening to murder her. someone buy the man a bagel.

Andriel headcanons

Neil calls Andrew everyday, no matter where either one is, or whether they’re in the dorm, he calls Andrew

He starts calling Andrew drew when they’re alone

Then on nights out with the cousins

Then on the court

Then all the time

They talk to each other on the court in russian

But once in sweeties, they were having a personal conversation in russian and someone walked past them and spat out their coffee and walked away wide eyed

Nicky couldn’t stop laughing the whole night

Aaron just scowled

Andrew stops calling Neil Neil and starts calling him “his junkie”

Except when Neil really needs to hear his name

Both Andrew and Neil know each other’s triggers, and will break the nose of someone who triggers the other, resulting in quite a few bans from multiple places to eat and many many shops

They need each other to ground them when having a panic attack

One day when neil is still at palmetto state and Andrew has graduated, a few news articles about the butcher start circulating and become college gossip, and Andrew misses his upcoming game to fly out to make sure Neil was okay

He nearly got kicked from his team for leaving without warning

But the coach was a little scared of him when angry

More than a little

They both eventually upgrade to smartphones so they can FaceTime when they’re separated

The rest of the original foxes collectively blackmail them into downloading Snapchat and instagram

Andrew hates it but uses them for Neil and Kevin

Neil loves them and keeps sending the original foxes exy memes

They regret their decisions

Every Wednesday, Andrew and Neil go out for a date night, and because Neil still panics when he can’t move for hours on end, they never go to the movies

Ever

They find a new restaurant about 20 mins away from fox tower

The owners become friends with Neil and eventually Andrew begins saying hello when they go

They get their own booth

Wymack and Kevin gang up on them to get matching tattoos but they both refuse

About a month after Baltimore, Neil flinches at andrews dashboard lighter, so the foxes and wymack all agree to throw them out

All the new foxes are pressured to do so too, without Neil ever knowing or them ever knowing why

Neil eventually gets his own car with some of the money from on the run

It’s an old Ford pickup but he loves it so much

Andrew gets the spare key

Matt is the only other person allowed to drive it, but he has to get a key off Neil or Andrew to drive it

Andrew takes Neil shopping for car accessories and Neil spends close to $200 on air fresheners and cleaning things

Andrew stops carrying lighters when he sees Neil watching it warily

He only ever carries matches from then

When they go on a cross country road trip one summer, Neil grabs the cash his mother stashed incase he ever needed it and donates it to charities dedicated to child abuse survivors and children on the run from home

They also stay in the shittiest motels out there and never stay in one place longer than a week

When new foxes are signed, Andrew threatens them that if they ever hurt Neil or mention the butcher then they will find a knife in their gut

The two finger salute becomes their way of saying “I need your help”

They never say “I love you” but they don’t have to

It’s the little gestures

Andrew holding neils hand in public

Neither of them wearing their bands when home alone

Andrew making Neil breakfast every morning even if Neil wakes up first

In their third year, they push their beds together and share so they have more room than a single

Andrew teaches Neil how to tie a tie

Neil teaches Andrew how to bandage and treat wounds effectively after Andrew gets stabbed in the shoulder but refuses to go to a hospital

Neil fussed over him for weeks

And doesn’t let him play exy or move his arm too much

Nicky cannot control his laughter when he sees Neil fussing over Andrew

And wymack is downright impressed that Andrew listens to Neil

Humans Are Space Orcs “Preparations.”

I’m getting ready for an interesting new arc, I think, so we shall see. I never know what my brain is going  to want to write. 

“Lieutenant, command is yours. Keep the ship operational till I get back. I want low orbit just in case we have to bail out quickly.”

“Yes sir.”

Boots clattered on metal as Commander Vir clattered down the stairs and moved quickly down the hallway. A small entourage of figures walked at his back, “I’m not sure I like this commander.” One of them was saying, “It could more than easily be a trap.”

He sighed, “I know, but the GA wants it done.”

“I would much rather do reconnaissance for a while-”

“And so would I, but the chairwoman made it very clear that we needed to speak with them as soon as possible. I’ve already tried establishing radio contact, and nothing. The only way to go now is the old fashioned way.”

They took a sharp corner, “Tell the council to meet me down in the docking bay.”

“Yes sir,” They scampered off leaving another subordinate to fill their place.

Most of the council was already there when he reached the docking bay. Dr, Krill, Sunny, Dr. Adric, Ramirez Narobi etc. etc.” He paused before them, hands clasped behind his back.

“You shouldn’t go alone.” Came the first announcement.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, which means I want at least six marines, and a group from the diplomacy team. I know I’ve been taking lessons, but I don’t trust myself nearly as much as I trust them.”

“Are we sure it needs to be you at all?” Krill pointed out getting to the heart of the issue on first try, as was usual for him.

Commander Vir turned to look at the little doctor on the spot, “The Kree have demanded a high ranking representative.”

“Then lie to them, send down someone not important and pretend,” Krill said 

He crossed his arms, “We aren’t going to lie. Starting out diplomatic relations with a lie would destabilize the entire foundation of what we are trying to build, no we need proper protection is all.” He turned to look at the others, “Any objections? If so raise your concerns now?’”

Sunny raised a hand, “You're Not going unless you bring proper weapons, otherwise, I say we shouldn't meet them.”

“I agree….. And I have an idea.” The group looked nervously around at each other, “No, you are very much not going to like it, and you will probably argue with me.” He turned to Dr. Adric, and motioned hi to follow, “Ramirez get your marines and-”

“Already done commander.”

“Nice and fast of you.” He turned to look at Ramirez one last time placing a hand on his shoulder, “Are these the marines that have…. Uh…. trained with the new equipment?”

Ramirez  nodded enthusiastically, “Yes sir.”

“Good.” “New equipment?” Krill wondered rather suspiciously.

“Yep you're going to hate that too.” Commander Vir announced knowing that he was going to argue and knowing that people would assume his decision was poor. But he had talked it over -- seriously -- with Ramirez, and they had both agreed it was too good a strategic advantage not to. Ramirez had then talked with the requisitions officer and so on and so forth until the package had been loaded onto the ship not a few days before, but that he thought he might be able to get away with, it was this next thing, they were going to hate.

Floating at the back of the group Conn knew what he was thinking, “They’re going to lock you up.”

“Are you exaggerating, or is that seriously what they are going to do?”

The starborn kept silent  leaving hi on edge as he moved forward and into the equipment room. He knew where it was, they had hardly hidden it as well as they thought they had, and he could tell by the nervous movement of the rest of the crew that they knew too.

Ight as well not keep them waiting.

He walked over to one side of the room, pushed a rack of guns out of the way, reached down and dragged the large silver box onto the open floor.

Immediate uproar.

“No!”

“Not on your life!: “What are you thinking!”

Commander Vir crossed his arms, planting himself before the box with feet spread wide. He let them continue to rant, sunny even tried to pull hi away, but he ducked past both of her arms and stepped back, so he was now standing on the box.

“QUIET ALL OF YOU!”

That made them shut up, at least for the moment.

“Commander, we won’t let you.”

“I know.” 

“Than why even bother bringing it up.” Sunny demanded 

Even Ramirez was looking a little put off..

He turned to look at Dr. Adric, “That is why he is here. I know for a fact that I can do it, and not cause harm to myself. I’m healthy enough mentally to manage, but if the good doctor decides that I am wrong, than I will put it down and stp arguing.”

Below him, the Iron eye logo glinted in the yellowed overhead lights.

Dr. Adric looked on in concern, “What is this about?”

Krill and a few of the others turned to protest, but commander Vir stopped them with a raised hand turning to look at the doctor, “You are aware of my time in operation steel eye?”

He nodded.

“And were you aware that I put the armor back on for the burg war not some months ago?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know about the project.”

He laced his hands together before him, “I published a paper on it. I know that it was a volatile experimental pice of technology that the government attached  directly into the spinal columns and muscles of the forty surviving soldiers. Each machine was powered by the steel eye prosthetic which contained the suit’s power source. I know that they used drugs to stop the excruciating pain, and that they added amphetamines to cause aggression and allow the soldiers to stay up longer…. And I know that more than three fourths of those soldiers are dead now and only have of that fourth is….. Operating functionally as people.”

Commander Vir smiled, “Yes, than you do know. IT took me years to recover from the suit, than I went and put it on again, and that caused a relapse in y mental health to a degree that I almost got myself grounded and , likely, discharged. However, during that time I also spoke to a group of people who were working on a similar project, operation Iron eye.” There was a nervous shifting around the room, “ITs the same thing as stell eye, though it requires no drugs, and no pain. The Trade off is, I had to go in for surgery because the attachments are permanent.” 

He turned around and pulled down the collar of his shirt so Dr. Adric could see the first port just below the base of his skull, “I had these done at a time where I honestly shouldn't have, but I thought this was my only option.” He turned back around, “I am well aware that is not true, but what’s done is done. I have the implants, they cannot be removed, and I have the suit. I might as well use it to protect myself. That is the point? To protect myself and the rest of the crew?”

There was silence for a moment.

“We can’t let you do this.” Dr Katie was saying.

Narobi was shaking her head emphatically .

He turned to look at Dr. Adric, “I leave this decision up to you doc. If I’m not mentally healthy enough to handle it, than I will stop, but you are the expert here and the most unbiased among us.” Dr Adric shifted on the spot nervously. He could see where this was a problem. The unhealthy associations that soldiers were bound to make after an experience like that was…. Horrible to imagine, but the Commander seemed calm, so he supposed there was no issue with trying.

He was a bit nervous about all the eyes that his decision caused. Sunny looked like she was about to beat him to death with her spear, and Dr. Krill seemed intent on poisoning his drink the next time he had the chance.

They took the Iron eye box back to the medical bay, and The three doctors observed the process.

Commander Vir was feeling pretty good as he slid back into the box listening to the connections click into place. Were there some bad memories? Yeah, sure, but he could handle those well enough.

Dr Adric kept a close eye on him as he stood the whirring of hydraulics accompanying his movement. He flexed his fist inside the iron eye suit and turned to look at the others.

Krill was frowning. Sunny was glowering , Dr. Katie wouldn't even look at him. Ramirez looked very, very nervous.

Dr. Adric walked over and checked his pulse, asked a few questions, but finally decided there was no reason to tell him no. 

That pissed off almost everyone else in the room, but commander Vir pulled on the specially made iron eye gear, “You wanted me safe, and this is as safe as I can think of being, and I trust Dr. Adric’s judgement.” With each footstep, metal clattered against metal, and the soft hiss of the hydraulics accompanied him up the hall.

THe others followed in concern and anger.

The crew turned to look their eyes wide looking nervous.

They expected him to do something stupid.

What they didn’t know is that he actually had a practicing mental health professional on his side now, and truth be told, he didn’t feel anything really. Yes he could just as easily compare the experience to the steel-eye suit, but without the pain, the experiences were too different.

Reaching the docking bay for the second time. The marines were already waiting as were the diplomacy team.

Dr Krill cursed, “You arent serious.”

“Krill, I appreciate your opinion as a doctor, but in areas of equipping marines, I trust Ramirez more.”

The line of marines saluted as he drew nearer, their bodies covered by their combat ACUs, and each one wearing a matte black painted jetpack.

He turned, just in time for Ramirez to step forward with another, mounting it to the back plate on the Iron- eye suit, where it clicked satisfyingly into place.

Krill and Sunny both looked as if they were about  to have a conniption. 

He withdrew something from his pocket, “Don’t worry, I did my homework, and read the manual. I don’t plan on even using it if this all goes well.” he looked at the group of them seriously, “This isn’t for fun, everyone, this is for the safety and protection of myself and others. I have a panic button ready in case anything goes wrong, and I will have two more teams of marines on standby in low orbit in case something decides to happen. I have the diplomacy team to speak when I don’t know what to do, and I have the marines for a firefight if it comes to that. THe first sign of trouble and we fly out if we have to.”

He stepped forward a bit, looking around at the concerned and angry faces, “I understand you all are worried, but I have thought this through. I have taken your suggestions, and I am doing everything I can to stay safe.” He looked up at Sunny, “I will be equipped in the way that you suggested.” he turned to Krill and Katie, “We have the medical supplies that you ordered in the bags that were placed in the ready room.”

He turned to Narobi, “You sent in one of your best people to service all of the equipment days ago. I, and these men are as safe as we can be.” 

Maybe one day he wouldn't have to explain his actions to these people, but he understood that, in the past he had made a bunch of poor decisions. This time would not be that time. He had thought of everything, and he had talked to everyone else to consider things he hadn’t thought of. He was listening to his crew, and differing to the knowledge of experts. He didn’t pick the team, he didn’t pick the equipment, and he was going to allow the knowledge of others to carry through this time.

Yes, one day he would be able to make a decision without explaining everything, but today was not that day.

He looked around, “Are there any objections?” He held up a hand to cut Krill off, “On the basis of logic and not being angry at me?”

Krill shut his mouth.

One of the floor technicians jogged up, “The shuttle is ready commander.”

He nodded and turned to the marines, “Load up!” He then turned and ordered a second pilot onto the ship so as not to leave it unmanned when they were gone.

In the confusion, he turned to head towards the ship, but something caught his hand.

He turned and looked up to find Sunny’s golden eyes staring down at him. He could tell she was mad, displeased, and even a little hurt, though she didn’t say any of that.

The one day he thought he had made no mistakes…. And he had.

He looked around quickly, and seeing no one paying attention, he took one of her other hands.

The Iron eye armor impeded a good connection but it would have to do, “I’ll talk to you when I get back.”

SHe remained quiet.

“I know…. I should have told you, and you can kick my ass later, ok?”

His smile fell from his face as she continued to glower.

He squeezed her hands, “Back before you can say Adam is a dipshit.” He squeezed one more time and let go turning towards the shuttle and flexing his shoulders with a hydraulic hiss , the iron eye clattering hungrily with every movement

The foxes seeing andreil be fluffy? Kissing/hugging ect

Well I was going to recommend your own fic to you until I saw your username and did a double take.  So I hope the recs below provide you with enough of the good fluff stuff!  -F

Foxes see Andreil kissing here and here 

Foxes walk in on Andreil here

Andreil and PDA here 

‘Hold Me Close’ here

Andreil lap sitting here and here  

(Mis)Adventures of a Very Gay Explorer by fuzzballsheltiepants [Rated T, 1985 words, Complete 2018]

Nicky just wants to understand how Andrew and Neil's relationship works. He takes it upon himself to figure it out.

andreil,,,,,, affection in front of foxes,,,,,,, will water my crops prompt fill by @sundownstreet [Tumblr, 2019]

it’s aaron’s birthday. technically speaking, it’s andrew’s too, but he stays solid when he says that he doesn’t want to be included in it. he comes to the party, he drinks a little (slowly, of course), but he doesn’t join in the festivities.

Ficlet Collection - or "Sam can't seem to stop writing and she wants to put it all on one place" by constellationqueen

Chapter 10:  [Rated G, 757 words] Prompt Fill: Neil high on painkillers for some reason and he just won't shut up about how amazing Andrew is to the utter delight of the foxes and Andrews like ffs but secretly likes it???

late to the party (i hope we offend somebody) - the soft remix by softlightwood [Rated G, Complete, AFTG Remix 2019]

Matt leaps up from the sofa, folding Neil into a bone-crushing hug and smacking a kiss to his forehead, almost definitely leaving cocktail-residue behind. “Buddy! You came! I cannot wait to meet your…”

He trails off, mouth falling open in a soft ‘O’. Andrew, who is still attached to Neil by the hand, lifts his free arm in a mock-salute. “Boyd”

“Huh,” says Matt. “I - huh”

(tw: alcohol)

foxes reacting 2 andreil by @fxcrt [Tumblr, 2020]

k so i Live for the foxes reacting to andreil cuddling/touching one another casually so i hope that’s something you’re down with!!!

...neil and andrew doing anything remotely coupley hc by @littlespoonevan [Tumblr, 2016]

- kevin barging into their dorm reading exy articles on his phone only to freeze in the middle of the room when he realises he’s caught andrew and neil mid-makeout

Art

AARON`S INCREDIBLE WEEKEND PART 3 art by @kuchelbeker

our fav boys art by @hi-raethia

fic title - Leave Him Alone

I really liked the idea of this one ehe but it kinda got away from me dkjfajf Hopefully you still like it!

The night was cold and humid, the foxes all piling into their respective cars, laughing and shoving up close to one another. Well, all of the foxes except for Andrew and Neil, of course. They had just finished up at Eden’s and most of them were trashed, the alcohol coursing through their veins filling them with giddy excitement. It was Andrew who called it a night. The foxes were getting too rowdy and clumsy, and Andrew was growing quickly tired of it all- oh the things he’d do for Neil. And by Neil’s content face as he rested his cheek on the leather seat of the Maserati, he knew it too. Andrew started the car, trying to get the image of Neil’s serene smile out of his periphery. “Staring.” He noted, bristling internally at the huff of air blown across his face from Neil’s stupid laugh. Grunting, Andrew pulled out of the driveway, locking eyes with a tired but generous Renee through the windshield of Matt’s truck. He saluted her before tearing out of the parking lot and towards the house.

Upon arrival, he was annoyed to see Allison’s “pretty in pink” Porsche in the driveway. Nudging Neil awake, he muttered, “Know anything about that.”

“Nope.”

Sighing, Andrew pulled in next to it, really fucking annoyed that he’d have to deal with this. He rolled his eyes as he saw the car door open and a stiletto pop out. Allison leaned against her door with a raised eyebrow, and even with his perfect memory, he didn’t know what in the hell he did to warrant this. Allison was there at Eden’s tonight, and yet she didn’t drink a single thing, just watched the whole time, and it was unnerving. Andrew figured that’s what most people thought about him.

Telling his family to stay in the car he climbed out, coming to a stop in front of the much taller girl, made even more so by her heels. That didn’t intimidate him, though- nor did her scowl. “What do you want.” Andrew thought about raising his own eyebrow in return, but he didn’t care enough to humor the thought.

Okay this is where my brain gave up on me but basically Allison says some shit about Andrew and how she doesn’t get him andfkjasdlfkjdfjdkjffsd fblahblahblahblahblah no ideas empty brain you get the gist.

Okay hopping back into it i love being a writer hhhhh

Andrew was seething, he didn’t know what she was on, but it was grinding his fucking gears. A car door slamming shut distracted him from pulling a knife on her.

“Leave him alone, Allison.”

“Neil. Get back in the car.”

“No, tell me what’s going on, and why you,” He pointed a finger towards Allison, seemingly just as fed up as Andrew, “have for some reason decided to ruin this night to antagonize my boyfriend.”

“Neil.” Andrew grit his teeth together at the word and the fact that he didn’t hate it. This was all too much.

“Neil, he’s a fucking dick, and you can do so much better. I saw you tonight. You didn’t talk once. That isn’t normal, sweetie.”

“Don’t call me sweetie, and definitely don’t tell me who I can and cannot be with. You have no right.”

Allison scowled. “I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“Well don’t. And maybe before you decide to go and be a fucking hero, you’ll get sober.” Andrew was shocked for a moment, maybe he wasn’t that perceptive after all. Now that Neil said it, Allison was swaying a bit, her eyes all over the place. Andrew could use a cigarette… “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Allison. I’m sorry we’re not like you are, except, no, I’m not sorry. Andrew makes me happy, and if you can’t see that then you can fuck off.”

“Neil…” She said sharply.

“Allison. Go home.” Neil’s words were fiercer, though, and they seemed to cut through whatever delusions Allison was still hung up on.

Allison looked at him for a moment, her scowl diminished like she knew she fucked up- good, she did- and nodded, climbing back into her frilly little Porsche.

“And Alli?” The nickname made her do a double take. “Drive safe.”

She offered him a smile and a small apology- that got waved off- before pulling out.

“You done?”

Neil sighed. “Yeah, let’s get the drunkards and go inside. I’m tired of today.”

Andrew couldn’t agree more.

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard Characters: Neil Josten, Andrew Minyard, Matt Boyd, Danielle "Dan" Wilds Additional Tags: AFTG Remix 2019, andrew has tattoos but is also Soft, matt is an idiot but we love him Summary:

Matt leaps up from the sofa, folding Neil into a bone-crushing hug and smacking a kiss to his forehead, almost definitely leaving cocktail-residue behind. “Buddy! You came! I cannot wait to meet your…”

He trails off, mouth falling open in a soft ‘O’. Andrew, who is still attached to Neil by the hand, lifts his free arm in a mock-salute. “Boyd”

“Huh,” says Matt. “I - huh”

“What?” asks Dan, drawing herself away from her conversation with Kevin. Then, “Andrew is Andrew?!”

It seems like a movie cliché, but the room falls ominously silent. Neil’s mouth quirks up in a little smile. “Andrew is Andrew, yes”

“Except for Sundays,” Andrew adds, voice a low deadpan.

late to the party (i hope we offend somebody) - the soft remix

Matt leaps up from the sofa, folding Neil into a bone-crushing hug and smacking a kiss to his forehead, almost definitely leaving cocktail-residue behind. “Buddy! You came! I cannot wait to meet your…”

He trails off, mouth falling open in a soft ‘O’. Andrew, who is still attached to Neil by the hand, lifts his free arm in a mock-salute. “Boyd”

“Huh,” says Matt. “I - huh”

“What?” asks Dan, drawing herself away from her conversation with Kevin. Then, “Andrew is Andrew?!”

It seems like a movie cliché, but the room falls ominously silent. Neil’s mouth quirks up in a little smile. “Andrew is Andrew, yes”

“Except for Sundays,” Andrew adds, voice a low deadpan.

Read Here

this is my fic for the @aftgremix !! thank you to the lovely @beetlejeuse for writing the original 💗

sharing a WIP of my frank/matt fic because. i want to. this is unedited so theres definitely funny grammar stuff i dont want u to point out aslkdhskaldja

Matt stands on a water-logged plastic mat, protecting his feet from the moldy bathroom tiles, waiting hopelessly for the hot water to return. He's been forced into late showers, well past midnight, because the showerhead spits ice if anyone in the building so much as turns their faucet a fraction to wash the dishes or flush the toilet. Matt's senses helpfully provide him some perspective to diagnose the problem. In the apartment below him, it is the latter. He called his landlord when it first happened three weeks ago and the man has built a rap sheet of excuses for not fixing it ever since. Maybe Matt needs to remind him he's got a lawyer for a tenant. 

The cold water pricks him, little needles battering his skin. He grows numb to the feeling, focused instead on running the soft washcloth with purpose over his soapy skin. His training allows him to differentiate between important and irrelevant stimuli, blocking out anything that might overload his system. It is a useful alternative to curling up and crying because the shower is too loud and too cold as a man of his abilities might do without adequate control. 

Matt tilts his head back. Water hangs heavy on his thick lashes and drips down the curve of his cheek, following a trail to his collar and disappearing down to his hip. Despite the shivers rocking his body in subtle variation, the cold water feels good where he is sore and bruised. His body hurts in souvenirs of tonight's exertion-- from his mask-chafed scalp to the angry purple mark on his thigh that throbs every time his legs press together. It was a long one. Dawn can't find him on the streets, not today, but it was hard to tear himself away. A client needs him in the morning and he cannot fail them. Lack of sleep will do him in as quickly as a gunshot wound. Daredevil and Matt Murdock, both at their best. 

He shuts off the water. Best to call the landlord again in the morning and throw his weight behind it this time. With caution. Matt has a reputation for suing landlords and, while well-deserved, if he gets evicted he's going to have a hard time finding anyone in Hell's Kitchen that will take him. He slides open the shower curtain, shimmies out into the fuzzy placemat, and quickly dries off with one of three fluffy towels on the rack. The cold is worse out here, biting. He hangs his wet towel to dry over the curtain, tucks a fresh one around his waist, and wraps another over his hair. Matt sleeps in the nude and it's a short walk from his bathroom to his bed. 

The bathroom exits into the bedroom and the bedroom continues unobstructed by walls into the living room and kitchen. The open concept and massive windows facing the street bring to mind an artist's studio rather than a lawyer's apartment, but any art Matt gets up to is a collaboration effort held within the perimeter of his bed for about forty-five minutes repeated two or three times a month. He snickers quietly. 

Rarely does he go to bed alone and in a good mood. That should have been his first sign something was about to take a turn. 

His next sign is the sound of rubber against metal and metal against brick coming from outside his apartment building. Matt is sitting at the end of his bed running one towel over his hair when he hears the first frantic scrape. The towel slips through his fingers and lands on the floor, forgotten. Matt attentively faces forward, then tilts one ear in the direction of the fire escape just outside his window where someone is laboriously making their way up. He can hear their ragged breaths and abnormally high heart rate, not like exertion but like injury. Their hand slips on the railing and they fall down to their knees. The fire escape clangs and as it makes Matt flinch it rouses people without his super hearing. Three lights click on almost simultaneously, the most inquisitive and nosy minds in the block on full alert. One phone comes off the receiver. Matt places the kneeling heartbeat again. It is a familiar vibration, like marching feet. Like a gun salute. 

"Frank?" He asks his apartment. 

Frank slaps his hand against the window. He took the remaining flight on his knees while Matt sat static. 

"Choir boy." He calls. The hand on the glass turns into a fist. "Sanctuary." 

Matt kicks into high gear and runs to the window. The fire escape comes just past his bedroom. He runs his fingers over the sill and opens the latch. Frank's rectangular build forms as the window rises. Matt has to do a double-take before he understands what's wrong with his silhouette. He's never been around the man when there weren't at least three guns on his person to distort his shape. 

"Frank?" He asks again, this time to the man himself. 

The Punisher takes the open window like an invitation and throws himself over onto Matt's floor. He is bleeding from somewhere, likely the spot his hand is hugging so tightly. Matt holds his hands in front of himself, unsure whether to help him in or push him out. After the decision has been made for him, the closes the window and hopes no one calls the police or knows where to send them to. 

"Murdock," Frank says almost amiably. He leans against the wall and kicks his legs out from under him. Moving jostles his wounds and the air out of him like a whistle. "Place lookin' about as nice as I remember it." 

"Thank you," Matt replies reflexively but perturbed. "Did you come to die here?" 

"You're about as nice as I remember you, too." 

Frank leans forward and groans. The pain is centered around his ribs. He keeps reaching for them, then dropping his hand when he remembers it would be worse on contact. Matt has been there. Not that Frank would know that. 

"I haven't seen you since the trial last year."

Lie. Matt Murdock hasn't seen Frank Castle in a year, but the Devil has. They bump into each other on the same jobs more often than Daredevil actually hunts for the Punisher, but they've had their share of scraps. He doesn't make the distinction between the man and the demon for Frank. In his case, they are one and the same. 

Last year Matt stuck his neck out for the Punisher. They jailed him. It didn't take. Punisher got out, made a name for himself in other neighborhoods. To his understanding, Frank is damn near untouchable and untraceable. Daredevil gave him a wide berth, warned him to stay out of Hell's Kitchen, and prayed for the souls he took outside the comfort of his twenty blocks. 

He is not responsible for the Punisher's current predicament and suspects if he asks Frank will refuse to tell him who is. For his protection.

"I meant to call." Frank jokes. 

"Why are you here, Frank?" Matt presses. "Why shouldn't I call the police right this minute?"

"I need a place to lie low and patch up. I looked through your cabinets when I stayed here after posting bail and know you got everything I need." Asshole. But Matt already knew that. "As for the other thing-- because you hate cops." 

"I do not hate cops. I hate dirty cops." Matt corrects, much to Frank's mirth. His ribs hurt him when he laughs. They both know most of the police in the area are bought or for sale. He bluffs. "I can't patch you up. I'll have to call… Karen."

That puts an end to Frank's good humor quickly. His pulse quivers. Fiercely protective, even the suggestion of Karen's is offensive. He grunts. "No Karen. I can do it myself. Just bring me the kit." 

"You need to go to a hospital." 

He's already on his way to the bathroom when he says it. It's meaningless talk that will just bang through one of Frank's ears and shoot straight out the other without due contemplation, but it makes him feel better to get the obvious out of the way. One minute too long around the Punisher and even common sense starts to leave the room. It's good to stay grounded. 

Matt drops his heavy first-aid kit in front of his unwelcome guest. It holds more than a first-aid kit should. Cuts, scrapes, burns, the standard. Stuff to disinfect, anesthetize, and suture. There are over one-hundred-fifty items, each in their own divider, on their own floor, and the kit springs up three stories tall when you press the right spot. Matt's face is perfectly blank. Frank has already seen this case and he's had over a year to consider its contents, but still hasn't connected the dots. Perhaps he thinks Matt is clumsy, or more likely concerned about mob orders with his name on them. He is not Daredevil and he can't be.

Daredevil's body would be battered with signs of struggle. Like the palm-sized bruise on his thigh, beneath the towel-- the only thing he's wearing at the moment. He could have any other number of bruises along his chest, arms, and legs. He barely feels them sometimes. Matt hugs himself. 

"Don't get shy on me now, Murdock. The All-Mighty won't fault you for a bit of pre-marital nudity." 

Frank's dug out a bottle of alcohol to wash his hands and the wound. He grabs wads of cotton and holds them between his knuckles, using them one at a time and dropping them on a steel tray after. By the pattern his hands follow, there are three large cuts connecting his right pectoral to his hip bone. Not too deep, won't even leave a scar. They are the first thing Frank thought to address, so they must be the worst of his injuries. He doesn't reach for the suture kit after the wound is clean, but cream and bandages. 

"What happened to you?"

Frank Castle is in his apartment invoking sanctuary--and, yes, Matt gets the joke-- without his guns, with strange cuts in his chest, bruised ribs, and good humor. He sounded much worse for wear coming up the stairs than he did reclined between Matt's floor and wall. Maybe the paranoid doomsday prepper got caught with his guard down. Yet Matt would bet his right pinky that the Punisher has at least two safe houses in Hell's Kitchen and he's got his own overstocked first-aid kits in them. The only thing unique about Matt's apartment... is Matt.

"What do you want?" He scowls. 

"I already have what I want." Frank motions around his apartment. "A place to lie low."

"You will get me killed." 

Guilt is a dirty game to play with the Punisher. It's also a test, of sorts. Frank would never actually put a civilian in danger if there were other options. If he leaves, something is on his trail. If he remains, the danger is long gone. Frank shuts the kit after he's applied bandages around his chest and over his shoulder. He stands up. They're the same height, roughly the same weight. Frank's just a little thicker around his middle. He doesn't rely on lean strength and acrobatics, just solid aim and cover. 

"That's a chance I'm willing to take with your life, choir boy." 

Matt's blood freezes over. A muscle clenches in his jaw. He doesn't know if he's preparing to swing at Frank or whatever is bound to follow him through the fire escape. 

"Whoa, whoa. I forgot." Frank raises his arms in an unpracticed gesture of surrender. "I winked. I promise no one's tailin' me." 

Matt sighs, but the tension runs out of him all the same, replaced by a weariness he thought he shook off in the shower. He runs a hand over his stinging eyes and remembers he needed to be asleep thirty minutes ago. If there is no immediate danger… Frank can stay. On the couch, where Matt preferably won't find him when he gets back from the office. 

"You." Matt points. His hand takes a 45-degree turn towards the living room. "Couch." 

To his credit, Frank goes without argument… Or pillows and a blanket. It can get cold in his apartment, heat and water are the least reliable necessities in the building. Matt is morally obligated to go into his bedroom closet and pick through his least favorite blankets to find something for the Punisher. If worst comes to worst, Matt doesn't want the man on his couch catching a cold. God only knows how long he'll stay then.  He takes from the 60% polyester pile back to Frank who's already made himself at home with his feet on the coffee table. If Matt had his white cane he would hit him behind the knees. He puts the blankets and a cushion in place of a pillow at the head of the couch. 

"Are your wounds okay?"

"They're clean and dressed." Frank helpfully replies. 

"Then I want you gone tomorrow." 

He doesn't stay to gauge Frank's intention to follow through on that demand. His plans to sleep in the nude as God made him are no longer viable and it's an ordeal to find a pair of pajamas that still fit him. Foggy got him a full set a couple of years ago for his birthday. Pink silk with black lining, he described them, composed of a button-up and pair of shorts with matching slippers (which he does actually use). Upon running his fingers over the tag, the threads pushed the words Victoria's Secret into the pads of his fingers. It was a gag gift more than anything. Foggy was his roommate for four glamorous years and no one has seen him go commando for longer. 

For something he was never meant to wear it fits him surprisingly well. The bedsheet in direct contact with his skin is always silk, and this creates a similar barrier between him and his duvet. It is not as unpleasant as he thought it would be. 

Sleep won't come with the Punisher twenty feet away, but he can at least lie horizontally and hope that rest lifts the lead off his limbs.

Matt tucks his body under the sheets. He listens for Frank doing the same. All the excitement has thrown off Matt's heartbeat. It is a thunderous presence in his ear, stuttered in palpitations. He only notices when his breath comes hot on the pillow that he's been holding it in intermittently since he first heard Frank's rattling. How long has he been keeping his chest still, afraid even the slightest movement might set off the Punisher or whatever danger nips at his heels like a disloyal dog. Sweat pools in the arch of his feet. What the hell is he doing opening his doors to Frank as easily as he might Jessica, or Luke, Danny, or-- Elektra? It is a bit of the old Catholic anxiety that God will take him quietly in his sleep and he will go without repenting. Matt is not exactly hoping for assumption, but one generally wants to reach the Kingdom without the charges of aiding and abetting on their conscience. 

Aiding and abetting is the law of man, Father Lantom might say, judge not lest he be judged is the law of God.

The things Matt tells himself to sleep at night.

Matt turns in his restless sleep. It is the sound of his hand hitting the bed anew that sends a pulse of his senses across the room, and every built-in alarm in his body sounds off as his radar hits a blip standing on his bedroom rug, watching over him. 

"Frank?" Matt asks the darkness dryly, once the angel Gabriel fades from the possible suspect map his mind draws for him. 

"I was--" Frank grinds his teeth. He holds his fists next to his body. "There were Purifiers--beating on some kids and their teacher. I didn't want to kill anyone in front of the kids, but-- White on black, my costume, reinforcements got confused, saw me standing over the slim one, and I--"

"Frank, slow down." Matt sits up, he draws the sheets around his chest like a lady protecting her virtue. "What are you saying?"

"There was a woman. Redhead." Frank growls the descriptor as if redheads are the very bane of his existence. "She got a hold of me. She said--"

Frank grips his hair. The memory itself is pain. He feels things he shouldn't. Electricity and meat. Neurons firing. His pulse, a ticking time bomb waiting to go off between his temples. The liquid in his head, a thousand pounds heavier. He was not supposed to remember quite so soon. He is on his knees again and this time Murdock is over him. He crawled through his bedsheets with his hair in his eyes, hand in front of himself while he searches for Frank. Frank grabs Matt's forearm and locks them together like gladiators. He thinks for a moment if they held each other just right, all the little scrapes and scratches marking their bodies in thin, raised scars would align and he might understand something, this thing better.  He remembers the lady redhead's words. Do you have someone you care about? She didn't wait for his voice. She took the answer from his head. The first face that came to mind. Good. Find him. Watch over him.

"Frank? Frank! Listen to me." Matt puts his other hand on his shoulder and shakes him until Frank lifts his head. Matt's billboard-lit figure brings relief to this senseless compulsion inside him. "I think you met the X-Men. It would certainly explain the claw marks."

"Yes." Frank agrees. He is feverish, disoriented, and whatever Matt sounds are coming out of Matt's mouth are the rightest thing in his world. 

"I think one of their telepaths might have cooked your brain a little." Matt winces. His hand moves from his shoulder to his back in a soothing swipe. "I'm sure they didn't mean to. The X-Men can be very protective of their people. They only wanted you out of their way, which to be fair is understandable given your track record... Let's get you back on the couch."

"No!" Frank grabs more of his arm, claiming his bicep and pulling him down. This frenzy overcame him on the couch. The same impulse that drove him across Manhattan searching for Matt Murdock's apartment grew more intense in his vicinity. This thing the redhead put in him will not be satisfied by anything but contact-- or perhaps this is not her doing at all, just Frank's brain conflating an order to protect with the desire to consume. He whispers, quieter, not demanding but pleading. "No. Please, Red."

After a pause, Matt's hand comes to his face. His fingers touch between his brows and separate over the shape of his nose, searching. He is a woodcut of his mental state. Distress is as clear as the lines around his mouth, the tight clench of his jaw. Matt ends the brief exploration with the back of his hand against his forehead. He doesn't need to touch him to know his heart, but it grounds him with certainty. Everything Frank has said to him is the truth, and none more apparent that being separated from his side will kill him.

late to the party (i hope we offend somebody) - the soft remix

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2oiDdWi

by Anonymous

Matt leaps up from the sofa, folding Neil into a bone-crushing hug and smacking a kiss to his forehead, almost definitely leaving cocktail-residue behind. “Buddy! You came! I cannot wait to meet your…”

He trails off, mouth falling open in a soft ‘O’. Andrew, who is still attached to Neil by the hand, lifts his free arm in a mock-salute. “Boyd”

“Huh,” says Matt. “I - huh”

“What?” asks Dan, drawing herself away from her conversation with Kevin. Then, “Andrew is Andrew?!”

It seems like a movie cliché, but the room falls ominously silent. Neil’s mouth quirks up in a little smile. “Andrew is Andrew, yes”

“Except for Sundays,” Andrew adds, voice a low deadpan.

Words: 3144, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Neil Josten, Andrew Minyard, Matt Boyd, Danielle "Dan" Wilds

Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard

Additional Tags: AFTG Remix 2019, andrew has tattoos but is also Soft, matt is an idiot but we love him

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2oiDdWi

Wahoo, saw some of @deniigi‘s lightening prompts and the little impulse gremlin in my head yanked my chain and here we are, let’s go wahoo!!!  I did go a little hamwild with it though so big oopsies there but also I regret nothing and so I will not apologize!  Very long though, so I’mma slam dunk some of this under a read more.

-

“Foggy,” he nudged lightly.  “Foggy.  Foggy, Foggy.”

The accused raised his brow.

“What?”

“Take it back, Foggy.”

And back down the brow goes.  Up went the corners of his lip.

“Naahhh.”

This guy.  Ugh.

“You’re disgracing me, Foggy,” he said, without even a little bit of pouting.  Not even draping himself over a door frame or anything.  Certainly no theatrics.  “Slandering my name.”

“Denial is just the beginning, Mattias Murdock,” Foggy said into his cup, as if covering his smile would work on a blind man’s perception.

“My name is not Mattias.”  A pause.  “And I’m not old.  Take it back.”

“Okay, Matteo.  I believe you.”

That wasn’t taking it back.  That was active disbelief and dismissal.  These were things he could not have; not on his dignity, and certainly not on what little was left of his life.

He had little life left to live, not because he was old, but because he was going to die young, burning out fast and dancing forever.  Probably in the river somewhere, actually, but his poor life choices weren’t the issue here.  The issue here was Foggy’s refusal to withdraw his poor opinions, despite the stellar counterpoints Matt had beautifully presented just now.

It’s whatever, though.  It’s fine.  If his word wasn’t enough for this argument, then he’ll just find someone else to support him.  It can’t be any harder than finding a witness for court.

-

Spidey was doing a wonderful job.  Great work, really.  He didn’t know what was going on, since he came with zero context and bags of ulterior motive, but it sounded like general crime fighting with a hint of reptile.  It also sounded like he was just wrapping up.

He did something that was probably a salute.  He couldn’t keep track, nowadays.  Spidey was constantly trying out different salutes from a list he’d compiled from all four corners of the world wide web.  He was on a quest to find the ones best suited to make him look cool and respectable, he explained when Daredevil asked what all the hand waving was about.  He tried out a different one every week because he was weighing the public’s reactions to them.

The public was confused but charmed by it.  Matt, being part of the public by day, was not immune to this effect.  Apparently nobody was.

“I love you, officer.”

He pumped his chest twice and did the salute of the week again.

“I… sure, you too.”

The officer awkwardly imitated him.  Spidey’s heart beamed with joy.

“Well, I gotta go now.  Take care, ¡adios!”  He saluted again before he left.  The officer’s responding heartbeat indicated surprise.  Spidey had likely literally disappeared again.

“Why are you here?” he whispered, without really whispering at all.  He was awful at it, despite attempts to teach him otherwise.  He’d get the hang of it sooner or later, regardless.

“Just conducting a private survey,” he said, turning around, cane rhythmically tapping against the sidewalk.

“If this is about your costume, you look like if Shadow was designed to imitate Knuckles instead of Sonic.”

Matt had no idea what any of those words meant in that order.  He made no plans to understand or pretend to understand.  There were more important things at hand.

“Spider-Man,” he started.  “What was your first impression of me?”

“Honestly?  Cool but scary.  I thought you were gonna accuse me of murder and I’d be, like, yessir that sounds about right.”

“And now?”

“Uh, can I say something first?”

“Go ahead.”

He paused in thought, carefully chewing on the offered silence that was to fuel his thought process.  That was good.  Thoughtfulness and honesty was important for testimonies.  They were also important in general, but right now, he was looking for a testimony, so whatever.

Spidey’s heart beat steadily.

“I know it’s easier said than done, but you shouldn’t care too much about what other people think.  I mean, obviously it’s important, but I think being able to back yourself up is just as important.  Like, it’s great if other people believe in you, but you gotta do it too.  Self esteem, you know?”

Aww.

Useless for what he came for, but.

Aww.

“That’s great,” he said.  “But not what I’m looking for.”

Spidey sighed something tired.

“Well?” Matt pushed.

“Honestly, you’re a grumpy old man.”

That was worse than useless.  That was actively detrimental to his case.

“Wish you weren’t grumpy, though, but maybe old people are just like that.”

Said the kid who put way too much research into salutes.  And also, he’s not old.  Goodbye.

-

“The fuck are you asking me for?”

The younger the individual, the more valuable their opinion to how old he wasn’t.  If he asked someone older than him, of course they wouldn’t call him old out of bias.  If he asked someone of the same age, he would sacrifice what little was left of his dignity between them.  It had to be one of the wee ones.

“I’m conducting a private survey.”

Wade squinted.  Matt pretended not to notice.

“I’m not asking you.  I’m asking Eleanor.”

“You know everyone’s old to her, right?”

What--

How did he--

Whatever, it’s not important.  His opinion doesn’t matter right now, he’s not a wee one.

“Knock yourself out, dude.”

Eleanor Camacho had too much brutal honesty in her.  It was borderline rude.  His heart was bruised and she didn’t even give a shit.  She had an elaborate, extravagant torture system thinly disguised as a training regimen for her small brigand of action figures.  Little did they know, they were not saviors, but puppets meant to wreak havoc for their small, merciless god.  Anything or anyone who interrupted her was the scum of the earth, and was treated as such.

Of course her opinion was skewed.  She was upset.  People generally don’t say the nicest of truths when they’re upset.

This wasn’t working.  He needed to find someone in a good mood.

-

MILES: hey, did i say something wrong??

MILES: whatever it is i’m sorry

MILES: nevermind, foggy just told me you’re having an aging crisis

MILES: good to know you’re okay though!!

MATT: I am not having an aging crisis and Foggy is a liar. And yes I am perfectly okay thank you for noticing.

MILES: don’t worry dude, you’ll get over it!

MATT: Miles I just said I’m okay.

MILES: i freak out every birthday because growing means more responsibilities, but that’s a crisis that just runs out after i have some cake

MILES: and like, you’re done growing, so that’s it! these are all the responsibilities you have and you already know how to handle them. so i guess my advice is to get some cake

MILES: or something that is not cake, i don’t know what your tastebuds like. maybe you like to eat raw fish i don’t know

MATT: Miles, I appreciate what you are saying, but that is not the problem and you are not helping.

MILES: what’s the problem then?

MILES: is it because foggy said you’re old? because i’m sorry but he’s right

MILES: actually i’m not apologizing for telling the truth. you’re old, man

MATT: I’m going to block you.

MILES: you always say that but you never do it and honestly i don’t think you know how

MILES: you know why that is? it’s because you’re old and that means you’re technologyphobic

MILES: don’t worry, peter is old too but he’s not technologyphobic because he’s a nerd. you can ask him how to block me, i won’t mind! i just hope you can figure out how to unblock me on your own lol

MILES: i won’t judge if you have to ask peter how to unblock me too, you old people gotta stick together

MILES: no response? gone to ask peter how to use the youth gadgets your old man brain cannot comprehend i see

-

MATT: Miles is becoming too bold for his own good.

PETER: did he call you old? That’s okay he calls me old too, it’s like the opposite of making fun of how young he is.

PETER: also i heard about your aging crisis from him and honestly? Good luck dude

That was a private survey.  It was supposed to be private.  He remembered saying it was a private survey. 

PETER: may says that you can defeat feeling old by acknowledging that time passes and figuring out why being old feels like a personal attack to your emotional security

This was the worst.  This was exactly why that survey was private.  He made a silent pact to himself not to ask Miles anything ever again.

MATT: I see where Miles gets his bad influence from.

PETER: don’t blame me when miles gets all his advice from may

PETER: he says mine is faulty and full of holes which i guess is fair but like ouch you know?

MATT: No, I don’t.

MATT: Also, while I have you here, what was your first impression of me?

PETER: i’m not participating in this bye feel better soon

MATT: Peter answer the question

MATT: Peter hey

MATT: PETER

-

He was mourning the ongoing death of his youth and vitality.

“Are…  Are you okay?”

SAM.  SAMUEL.  DEAREST SAMUEL BLINDSPOT CHUNG.  FINALLY, A YOUTH HE CAN TRUST.

He immediately abandoned his mourning activities.

“Sam,” he said, with much urgency, leaning his weight against his palms on the desk.  Sam’s spine straightened to attention.

“Yeah?”

“What was your first impression of me?”

“Uh.  I don’t know, mostly just scared shitless?  But also really, really excited.”  A pause.  “And then mostly respect after that.”

Good, good.  No mention of old age.

“And now?” he continued eagerly.

“Uhhhhhhhhhhh.”  Sam creeped backwards.  “Uhhhhhhh.  You know what?  I’m just gonna.  Go.  Think about my answer.  And then come back later when I have it.”

NO.  SAM.  COME BACK.  UGH.

Matt sunk in his chair again, stuffing his face into his desk to hide his misery from the world.

Foggy came in.  Sam did a little dance with his head bouncing around behind Foggy’s back, trying to discreetly figure out what was going on.  He was failing at both.

The root of the problem leaned on the doorframe.  The man who watered that root was covering his smile with a mug, like it actually hid anything.

“You okay, buddy?”

“Fuck,” Matt bemoaned to the wood.  “I’m old.”

"That's what this is about?" Sam muttered to himself in the background.

“If it makes you feel any better, so am I.”

It didn’t, but it would if Foggy knew how to block people.

-

Thanks for reading <333 

Also, clarification: old age is mattphobic on account of the fact that having crunchy bones makes it hard to break other people’s not-crunchy bones.  Dementia?  Ain’t ever heard of her, that a new baddie or something?

Also also, I think Matty here has communication skills but like, he’s not good at using them when he’s being fueled by spite and selfish deeds or whatever lmao.

Anyways, have a good one !!  (This is also on the ao3 btw, if you wanna go check that out for whatever reason)  

lol (lots of love)!!!!

@gangstertogangster​ so since we’re on a glee kick for the OCs, I figure now is about as good a time as any just to have more things that totally get said during domestic au lines.

Yelena: Veruchka that isn't how babies happen. Nika: Uh huh! You and mama are both girls and you have me! Yelena, eyes widening, sweats: ... Nika: Hey how did that happen anyway? Where do babies come from? Yelena, driving faster: Ask your mother. Nika: But you are my mother? Yelena: Ask your other mother! ~oOo~ Michael: Look, alcohol is an answer to any problem. It’s not always the best answer but it is an answer. So pass me my wine or not even God himself will be able to save you, Raphael! ~oOo~ Vasya: Nah, my Aunt Shauna loves Olive Garden. They have better bread. Michael: What’s wrong with my restaurant?! It’s authentic Italian! The real deal! Vasya: It isn’t Olive Garden’s. Duh. ~oOo~ Nika: Hey guys, do you mind if I ritualistically slaughter this chicken? Peyton, jaw dropped: Uh... yeah a bit. This is the stage where we’re, you know, about to have a musical practice. Not... make chicken nuggets. ~oOo~ Vasya: That bitch is crazy! He had me kidnapped! Adrian, looks away: ...  Alexei: Ohmygod... ~oOo~ Jack: Papa, where do babies come from? Vladimir: ... Russia and Spain. Matt: That is not- Vladimir: My babies came from Russia and Spain, Matvey! Matt: Well if you want to get technical! Jack was born in Hell’s Kitchen! You idiot! ~oOo~ Mariah: Oh, Misty. Lucille is just... such a delightful child... Misty: Thank you, Mariah. I just... adore Honor... Danny & Shades, both sighing: ... ~oOo~ Matt: What's wrong?! Why are you bleeding?! Vasya, crying: I think I have internal bleeding! Matt: Oh honey. Internal means it's on the inside. Vladimir, smacking the back of Matt's head: Asshole. ~oOo~ Lucille: Breathe in. Now breathe out. Breathe in. ... Jack. Dani. Wake up. Vasya: They don't like meditating very much. Jack, snoring: ... Danielle, snoring: ... ~oOo~ Karen: You taught her how to treat a hemorrhage but not a period?! Matt: I didn't think it was important?! ~oOo~ Taka: I’m like the Malcolm X of our community! ~oOo~ Jack: Hey Siri, what was it like being poor and Asian? Marie: Terrible from what I’ve heard from my grandma. Peyton: Well, the mangoes aren’t as good in America. ~oOo~ Toly: I love fencing. I get to make new friends then stab them. ~oOo~ Vasya: I think I'm dying! Matt: Honey we're all dying. Vladimir, smacks Matt on the back of the head: What is your fucking problem tonight?! ~oOo~ Ravdí: Peyton, when you asked us to choreograph a dance number for this musical, you did not say that it was for Maddie’s zombie love story. Peyton: Yeah! Isn’t it a great idea?! Maddie’s story makes for a great musical and with you and Vas making a dance, I think this will be a big hit! Vasya, staring at Jamie: ... uh huh. Got this.... Ravdí: ... fiiine. We’re choreographing a dance number for zombies in love. Let’s go, Vas. ~oOo~ Bucky, wearing galaxy print yoga pants: Look my pants are out of this world so shove it. Vladimir: ... damn that was good. High five, Yakov. ~oOo~ Honor: Richard, I can taste your axe body spray. Get off of me! ~oOo~ Vasya: Well a drunk Stalin called me and told me that if I wanted Russia, he’d just give it to me! Matt: ... we need new Sunday dinner topics... Shauna: Ooh! I got one! Vladimir! You smell like melted cheese! Jack, whispering to Toly: You owe me five bucks. Eight minutes in and they’re screaming at each other. Matt, sighing: This is fine... Anatoly: I have vodka. Do you want some? ~oOo~ Yelena: If that boy so much as touches her I am destroying him. Natasha: I've already thought of ways we can hide his body. Yelena: I love you so much. ~oOo~ Michael: Both of my girls could kick my ass without even blinking and I find it unbelievably amazing. ~oOo~ Brad: Ooh authentic Chinese food! Diane: It's not Chinese, it's Asian! André: ... ya'll bitches be trippin'. ~oOo~ Richard: So I talked to your sister about who's the boss on this group project. Jack: Uh huh. How'd that go exactly? Who's in charge on your project? Richard: ... it's still unclear. Jack: Right. My sister is in charge, isn't she? Richard, sighing: I can't tell her no. ~oOo~ Maddie: ... why is there a live bear in the house? Marci: What? ... Ahhh! Bear! ~oOo~ Vladimir, saluting lazily: Aye aye captain. Yelena, ugly snort laughs: Shut up Vova. ~oOo~ Bucky: So how's that Eurofest thing going? Vladimir, pausing: ... you mean Eurovision? Bucky, snapping his fingers: Yep! That's it. ... don't look at me like that. I was closer that time than I was earlier. Vladimir: ... this. Is true. I don't even know what you said earlier. ~oOo~ Toly: Hey, Al? Alexei: Yeah? Toly: What was that? Alexei: An icecream commercial. Toly: No the fuck it wasn’t! Don’t you lie to me! ~oOo~ Jack: So you love my sister? Michael: Sí, more than air. Why? Jack: Would you be willing to take a bullet for her? Michael: ... yes? Why? Jack: I'll see you at the pier later tonight, Moretti. ~oOo~ Alexei: Man if one more person tells me that I am appropriating my own got dang culture Imma beat someone's ass. ~oOo~ Richard: I can't believe you said that! If you weren't a lady, I'd deck you! Vasya: You try and I'll have you on your back so fast you'll think you're out on a date! ~oOo~ Raphael: Wait, wait, wait! Hold on. You’re dumping me? For him? Nika, rolling her eyes: No, I’m dumping you, period. And then I’m gonna be with him. Period. If... that’s okay with him, question mark. Francis: Totally. Exclamation point. Raphael: Oh puke. Parenthesis, bold, underline. Michael, holding Smolya: Snort laughing. ... period. Raphael: Why are you even here? Michael: This is my apartment! ~oOo~ Yelena, after explaining a plan: It’s brilliant, right? Vladimir: Not brilliant at all. Yelena: Thanks for being on board. Vladimir: No. Not on board. Yelena: It means a lot. Vladimir: Big mistake. Very big mistake. Yelena: This will be wonderful! Vladimir: We are going to die slow, painful deaths. ~oOo~ Yelena: You get them! Vladimir: No you go get them! Natasha: What is going on out here? Yelena: We thought- Vladimir: Ah! No! There was no 'we'! Yelena: Shut up! We thought that the girls needed some life lessons... Vladimir: It was Lena's idea. Matt: Don't you dare tell me that Vasya and Nika, who are small toddlers may I add, are somewhere up there on that 100 foot tall building! Yelena: Okay, we won't. Vladimir: ... again, her idea. ~oOo~ Vasya: Fuck you! Dimitri: Later. Now shut up. I was talking. ~oOo~ Jack: I want to kill those guys! Vladimir: No! Matt: What a shocking turn of events... Vladimir: I don’t want you to bloody your beautiful hands! I will do it! ~oOo~ Vladimir: Oh congrats! You’ve made my seven year old look like a whore! Shauna: I think she looks great! Vasya: I think I want a leather jacket and combat boots now! Matt, groaning: Our seven year old is joining the mafia! ~oOo~ Rikki: I am a chapstick lesbian- is that the proper term for this? Because I’m not a lipstick lesbian, I’m definitely not femme, but I’m not entirely butch either? So I think I identify as a chaptstick les- screw it. I identify as chapstick! Just chapstick! Darla: What kind of chaptstick though? Sasha: Is it cherry? Because I see you as a cherry. ~oOo~ Marie: I’m like a Little Ceaser’s Pizza. Always hot and ready to go. Jack: Oh my god... Peyton: You’re gross. And I hate you. ~oOo~ Alexei: Toly’s a crackhead. Toly: I am not! I’m a motha fucking ganster! Alexei: See? Smokes crack. Andrey: I’m seeing myself out of this argument. ~oOo~ Yelena: All these screaming babies and yelling mothers and angry dads and annoying teenagers. They make me want to shoot up this mall. Nika: You cannot say that in public! Yelena: Why not?! It’s my second amendment right to shoot up a shopping center! Nika: NO! ~oOo~ Darla: I’m not much into BDSM. If I wanted to be whipped and chained up I’d just go back in time. ~oOo~ Peyton: Oh my sweet, poor, Japanese cherry blossom... Taka: Thank you. ~oOo~ Michael: This person wants us to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to them?! What?! Rahphael, snorts: That’s not happening. What do they think this is? Applebees?! ~oOo~ Peyton: It annoys me so much when people come here asking if we have a table and then get so offended when we don’t have them because of incoming reservations. Jamie: Honestly! What do they think this is?! Applebees?! We are a five star establishment! ~oOo~ Anatoly: You three better eat these pierogies! I didn’t starve in Utkin for you to deny yourselves food! Alexei, Toly, and Andrey, sighing: Yes, sir... ~oOo~ Bucky: You are a whole ass menace to society! Yelena: I will live. ~oOo~ Wesley: ... I’ve lost Maya. Fisk: Again, Wesley? Wesley, sighing: Unfortunately. ~oOo~ Lucy: I fear nothing. Not even god. Dani, Vasya, and Honor, watching her drink a smoothie: You’re disgusting. Jack: Can I have some of your smoothie? ~oOo~ Daisy: Being an inhuman is genetic. Vladimir: She gets this from your side of the family, Matthew! Daisy: But... you two adopt- Matt: I know. Don’t ask. Go with it. ~oOo~ Ian: Ugh, what do I take for hangovers? Darla: How horribly caucasian. Marie, snorts: Ha! Darla: Well isn’t it?! Marie, shrugging: I don’t know. I get the Asian flush so I take medicine before drinking. ~oOo~ Vladimir: I wonder what she’s going to buy... Matt: I wonder where she got the money... Jack: Vasi’s buying a bag of pepperoni! ~oOo~ Shauna: Look, we all know Toly won’t get into Harvard otherwise- Toly: What if I don’t want to go to Harvard?! Shauna: Ugh fine! Yale then! Toly: But mom- Shauna: Harvard or Yale Anatoly Jr! ~oOo~ Vasya: At least you all woke up in a bed! I woke up in the garbage! Jack: Okay. But. That’s nothing new. Nika, elbows him: Don’t be rude. ~oOo~ Sasha: I was in the dumpster! The dumpster! Rikki: My mom is blue! Darla: So I can see that this is a very stressful time for you both... ~oOo~ Dani: Lucy’s gonna be a minute. Vasya: Did she wake up in the trash too? Dani: No, she woke up half Asian. Lucy’s having a full blown identity crisis. ~oOo~ Vladimir: Your house is full! Full of sadness and emptiness! Yelena: Alright first off, you’re rude. Second, you’re a hoarder! ~oOo~ Sam: We don’t need this! Bucky: Sam, need and want are two different things. ~oOo~ Matt: I may not have vision but at least I have taste! ~oOo~ Vladimir: Ooh! For realsky?! Vasya: For suresky! ~oOo~ Anatoly: No son of mine is going to listen to shitty rap about doing cocaine! Alexei, thinking to himself: Please don’t tell mom... Anatoly: And Alexei Anatolyevitch! I am telling! Your mother! Alexei: Noooo!!!! ~oOo~ Therapist: Mr. Murdock, I think that Ms. Natchios may be one of your triggers. Matt: Please! I don’t have triggers! I am fine! Vladimir, snorts and coughs to cover it up: Okay. Elektra: Suuure you are Matthew. Matt: I will throw this chair at you, I swear to God! Don’t test me! ~oOo~ Shauna, lunging for Wesley: Augh! I can’t take it anymore! Vladimir, watching her punch Wesley: Shauna has earned my respect. Matt: It only took you five years to give it to her... ~oOo~ Jack: I’m so American that my favorite food is a McDonald’s cheeseburger! ~oOo~ Vladimir: If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?! Vasya: I dunno! Maybe if they invited me! Matt, slowly rubs his temples: ... I have a headache now... ~oOo~ Yelena: I drive like I have nothing to live for. Which I don’t really. Vladimir: Remind me to never drive near you with my children in the car. Natasha: And remind me to drive Nika around from now on. ~oOo~ Rikki: What do Asian parents beat their kids with? Francis: I don’t know. Textbooks? Ian: Rulers with F’s written on them? Jack: Slippers? Marie, glaring: I’m judging you all harshly. Jack: But are we wrong?! Marie: They feed us! Francis: Well that’s not a punishment. Marie: It is if you don’t like the thing they’re making you eat. ~oOo~ Vladimir: Has anyone seen my son?! He’s about yay tall! Clearly gay! But we haven’t had the talk yet! ~oOo~ Yelena: SHOW ME LOVE! SHOW ME LOVE! Nika: Mom... what is going on? Natasha, stirring her coffee: Oh just the usual amount of bullshit I deal with on a daily basis due to your other mother. ~oOo~ Maddie: I’m supposed to be in class. Ravdí: It’s okay, I’m supposed to be at work. ~oOo~ Darla: Oh what do I know?! Only what’s best for you! Rikki: I’m self destructive. Darla: I was just kidding. Rikki: I wasn’t. ~oOo~ Anatoly: How’s your dad’s restaurant doing? Alex: Very well. Alexei: Grandpa deletes bad reviews off his facebook so it only has five star reviews. He sees two stars, delete! Five star, it stays. Alex: He needs to fix the roof. Anatoly: ... what’s wrong with the roof? Alex: It’s old. Alexei: It leaks. Alex: The AC needs to be fixed too. Anatoly: What’s wrong with the AC? Alex: It’s old. Alexei: It’s broken. Shauna: ... I love your dad’s restaurant! ~oOo~ Vasya: Does anyone know if the damage control shampoo works on PTSD? Adrian: What about emotions? Asking for a friend. ~oOo~ Yelena: Oh god it’s missing! Natasha: What is? Yelena: The... the thing! Natasha, turning to face Yelena with baby Nika in her arms: What ‘thing’, Lenosha? Yelena, sighing in relief: Oh thank god, you found it. Natasha: ... you mean our daughter?! ~oOo~ Francis: A four letter word starting with ‘c’. Go! Rikki: Cock! Jack: Cunt! Rikki: Ooh! Nice one. Vasya: ... mine is corn. Nika: Well that’s adorable. Darla: Cute. ~oOo~ Vladimir: So it’s just a girls night? Vasya: Yeah, we’re just going to see a movie, grab a bite to eat, talk to the dead, and, if we have time, try to commit arson. Vladimir: Okay, have fun and don’t come back too late! Matt: ... after all that you just let her leave?! She said she’s going to commit arson, Vladimir! Vladimir: No, she said they’re going to try! They have to talk to the dead first, Matthew! ~oOo~ Matt, on the phone with Brett: Yeah, hey, if you get a call about a fire, can you give me a call? No reason. ~oOo~ Ravdí: Hey! I waterboarded myself! ~oOo~ Honor: This is a three day vacation! Lucy: Where are we supposed to be sleeping?! Richard: Well I just assumed you two would be inside each other. Jack, spits his drink out: ... ~oOo~ Vasya: So I met this girl at this coffee shop this morning- Honor: Oh no... No no no no. Vasi. You will not come out of this alive. Vasya: Uh... excuse me? Honor: She’s clearly a cannibal. Have you looked at yourself? You’re clearly an easy target. You’re a ballerina and very well marbled. If I were stuck on a deserted island with no food, I would absolutely eat you first. Literally everyone just stares: ... ~oOo~ AJ, the highschool art teacher, very clearly drunk: Listening to Brad talk is like listening to a horny bear claw into a chalkboard. I’m not pleased. Matt: ... well neither am I with that in mind. Shauna: I’m going to throw up. Bucky: God I love PTA meetings! ~oOo~ Honor: Gay kid! Alexei, blinks a lot: ... Honor: Asian girl! Marie: ... Marie. It’s not a hard name. Honor: Asian girl two! Peyton, inhaling deeply: ... she’s a kid. Breathe... Honor: Panda Express! Jamie: ... I swear to god... Honor: Weird twins! Rikki and Darla, blink and roll their eyes: ... Honor: Creepy incest twins! Jack and Vasya: ... we are not- Richard: Okay! So theater club meeting is in session now! ~oOo~ Ravdí: Sloppy babies! You’re all sloppy babies! Dani: Maybe we shouldn’t be calling the freshmen that. And give them encouraging words of wisdom instead? Ravdí: No! They keep dropping their flags! Again, babies! ~oOo~ Richard: Aren’t most of you gay? Honor: How dare you! ~oOo~ Ravdí: I’m sorry. All this time I’ve been treating you like an unpaid intern. When what I should have been doing is treating you like a paid intern. ~oOo~ Jack: Buenos dias, fuckboy! Ian, screaming shrilly: ... ~oOo~ Alexei: We’re all going to die someday. Well. Some of us. Toly: If you figure out immortality you have to share. Alexei: Uh. No. You’re annoying. Andrey: Will you share with me? Alexei: Maybe. ~oOo~ Alexei: Let’s come together! Like Voltron! Andrey: I’m the leg! Toly, rolling his eyes, softly but with feeling: ... fiiine. Losers. ~oOo~ Jack: I wrote this song for my sister! Vasya, closing her eyes, softly but with feeling: Ohgodno... Jack: I wrote this song to tell her that I’m always by her side! Even when we fight! Vladimir & Matt: Aww! ~oOo~ Andrey: Sometimes I feel like Ugolyok films me while in the shower and is waiting to sell the videos on Craigslist. Toly: ... what is wrong with you...? Alexei: ... I... uh... kay. ~oOo~ Lucy and Honor, trapped in an elevator, staring at a creepy puppet on a bike: ... What the ... hell... The puppet: Hello, girls. Let’s play a game. Lucy and Honor, banging on the door: Get us out of here! ~oOo~ Dani: You’re not letting them out of the elevator, are you? Richard: Nope. Not until they confess their feelings. Vasya: This is maniacal... I like this plan. Jack: You are all. So fucked up. ~oOo~ Maddie: I’m going to start projectile vomiting any second now... ~oOo~ The Principal of the highschool: I say we release the hounds into the school. Nick, the highschool science teacher, eyes wide: Let us not do that. AJ, the highschool art teacher: I think it might build character and therefore I veto Nick. ~oOo~ Ravdí, screaming as she runs down the hall: Why are there so many dogs in the hallways?! Vasya: This is the opposite of a problem! Francis: I love them all! Nika, climbing up the lockers, and hissing: Leave me alone! Unless you’re planning on eating my math homework! ~oOo~ Vasya: I will stop at nothing until you are homeless and drinking gutter water. Richard: Ouch. You’re rude.

Based on the Thief Simulator videos?

Police detective Ryan Haywood going undercover as a thief...because reasons.

He’s part of a task force that includes his new partner Jeremy, Trevor, Jack and Michael, all because reasons. Geoff is their boss, and Lindsay is Just There.

(No one’s really sure what she does, but they all assume she’s part of the task force and never actually consult each other about it. The task force has been meddled with by higher ups and various federal agencies and at this point it would be awkward to ask because clearly she’s One of Them.)

And then!

As he’s out Thieving with the others yelling “advice” at him through the earpiece he makes the rookie mistake of leaving his Thief!car unlocked.

Comes back weighted down by all the things he’s stolen to find someone hot-wiring his car and talk about awkward, right?

“Uh, hey?” Ryan says, super subtly reaching up to pluck the earpiece out because everyone is losing their goddamned minds about Ryan!thief being Thieved. “What the hell are you doing?”

The other thief gives him what can only be considered a Look because Ryan’s bag of stolen goods is overflowing with routers and whatnot. (He has a problem, sue him.)

“Oh,” the guy says. “You’re back sooner than I expected.”

Which.

Okay, not really damning on its own, but then the guy leans back to give Ryan this appraising once-over.

Has to notice the twigs and leaves and whatnot from that time Ryan had to duck into the shrubs to avoid notice. Dirt and mud and whatever else from that other time he threw himself into a ditch while the cops combed the neighborhood for him and so on.(He’s a fucking mess and his “haul” this time around is mostly routers and alarm clocks. One flower vase, tall.)

“I’m sorry. What?”

And the thief grins at him, sly edge to it as he glances towards the neighborhood Ryan’s been quietly terrorizing for weeks now. Flash of lights from police cars and the cops still looking for him.

“Oh,” the guy says, and he is definitely laughing at Ryan. “Nothing.”

Ryan being mercilessly mocked by this Thief he caught stealing his car, who then does steal it. Gives Ryan this cheeky grin and a mocking salute as he drives off with Ryan standing there like an idiot until one of the others come get him before the cops find him (He has to hide in the bushes until then with his bag of shitty stolen goods not exactly seething, just. Disgruntled.)

Ryan runs into the guy again later as they’re burgling the same house and the guy - all nose and no personality and no, that’s not Ryan being a bitter old man, shut up Trevor - gives him a few pointers. All nice and friendly about it, too.

(Doesn’t give Ryan shit when he shoves a router into his bag - he can quit any time he wants to, this is a Choice.)

They end up working together and Ryan is like yes because now he stands a better chance of getting at the crime ring behind a string of thefts in the area and the whatnot? But also oh, no because he went and caught Feelings for the Thief. (Gavin, his name is Gavin and Ryan lied about him not having a personality, don’t look at him like that Trevor.)

This whole thing of them being Thieving Buddies until shit goes wrong and they tangle with the crime ring Ryan was meant to uncover. Find out they’ve got Big Plans or whatever and it’s a whole Thing.

Getting caught by the baddies and them exposing him as a cop - all this guilt and whatnot with Gavin giving him This look, right, because FEELINGS.

To his surprise Gavin gets the two of them out of there, right. Strained silence as Gavin drives them somewhere he says is safe, Ryan sitting next to him with all these Things he wants to say but now doesn’t seem the time? (Doesn’t seem like Gavin would be willing to hear them, so he keeps them locked down tight and waits to see what’s going to happen.)

Gavin drives them to the richie rich neighborhood he and Ryan had their sights set on, pulls up to one and gets them past the gate. Pulls into the garage and shuts the engine off, Stares at his hands on the steering wheel for the longest time, takes a deep breath like he’s got something to say -

The door leading to the house is thrown open and out spills Ryan’s idiots, a riot of noise and Concern as they swarm his side of the car, get him out and drag him into the house to get him patched up. (Got a little roughed up when the baddies caught them, but it could have been a lot worse if Gavin didn’t get them out of there.)

When things quiet down, Ryan looks over to where Gavin and Lindsay are talking and it comes out that he’s a damn fed, they both are. Working for a long,long time to track this criminal ring down and the exasperation when they found out about the task fore, okay.

Lindsay and Gavin debating whether or not to interfere when Ryan proved to be such a terrible thief. (Ryan’s little “hey, I’m not that bad” that gets Looks from everyone present, because my God man.)

And then the night Gavin happened upon Ryan’s car - unlocked, who even does that with thieves running around??? - and everything up to now.

Gavin looking a little guilty himself when Ryan looks at him, because two wrongs and all, but this is Good Thing? Or something, since now Ryan doesn’t have to worry about the whole arresting Gavin and sending him to jail portion of things.

Awkwardness abounds because Lindsay totally knows Gavin also has a Thing for Ryan, right? (Hasn’t done anything about it though because not like he and Lindsay are going to be sticking around once they bring this crime ring down, and also surely Ryan wouldn’t be interested in Gavin, perish the thought.)

Everyone (except Gavin) knows Ryan has a Thing for Gavin and it‘s the height of entertainment for them as they work together to bring the crime ring down.

Shenanigans in which there are thrilling car chases and the whatnot, and that ~emotional goodby scene between Ryan and Gavin once things are over.

...A few months later Ryan gets word that the task force is going to partner with some federal agency or other on another crime ring or what have you. He’s like, sure, fine. Whatever you say Geoff and not really interested because he’s still nursing his bruised/broken heart over the Gavin Thing, right?

But surprise, surprise, the feds joining the task force and Gavin and Lindsay. Because reasons!!1!

(They also brig Alfredo and Fiona with them, and it’s just chaos all around the moment they meet Trevor and Geoff has never regretted his life choices more.)

Awkward reunion bit in which Ryan is cautiously optimistic about things between them. (Look, his city is absolutely riddled with crime and the whatnot, Gavin and Lindsay might be around for a while is all.)

Everyone else set up a new betting pool - they were so damn certain one of their morons would have made a move the first time around, but no, they were just too dumb for that, so.

Ryan and Gavin completely oblivious about the betting pool and worried about the whole fraternization thing - so they start a ~secret relationship.

Don’t realize at all the others figure it out after a while - cannot for the life them figure out why everyone’s annoyed with them for the longest time. (Can’t win the betting pool if no one knows when they got together or who made the first move, and they all take turns trying to get the information out of them without being obvious about it.)

At some point one of them gets caught by some baddies and it’s a harrowing ordeal - come too close to death for anyone’s peace of mind and there’s a touching reunion scene.

The two of them realizing too late they’re not alone and oh, no, now they’ve really done it, but everyone is focused on keeping them alive to deal with that.

And then when they do -

“Okay, so now that you two are officially done being idiots (about this one thing,at any rate) there’s something we need to know.”

Ryan and Gavin bracing themselves for who even knows what, and Lindsay slams her hands on the desk between them. Demands to know the exact date and time they got their shit together because it’s of the utmost importance you assholes!

(They put a lot of money into that goddamned betting pool, and like hell are they going to let it sit there gathering dust,so answer the damn question!!1!)

Naturally, Ryan and Gavin give different answers and continue to do so for forever because hey, wow, rude much? And also, just because.

And, like.

Undercover crime-solving shenanigans ever after I guess???

ALSO.

Matt Bragg as this hacker they bring in at some point who decided he’d rather work for the “good guys” than go to prison. (”Do I look like the kind of guy who’d do well in prison?”)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dee giving Matt A LITTLE SALUTE

all the HUGS

I CANNOT deal with this panel it will MURDER ME

JAMES SAID “HELLO THERE”

Finally

lance-centric but yall already know lmaoo

So anyway, season 7 is about to destroy all our hopes and dreams and i'm not ready so here i am initiating my last line of defense

also no translations yall die like men lmfaoo --- Samuel Holt receives a much better welcoming committee compared to Shiro's. Granted, his ship didn't hurtle through the atmosphere and crash near a school campus. But after quickly gaining the attention of not just the Galaxy Garrison, but the entire world, Sam Holt eloquently explains the situation. Governments and countries fall into a panic. However, it's their space exploration garrisons that pull them together.

They need to reach their humans up there, provide aid and ready and brace their planet for the worst. Intergalactic Garrisons all over the world begin contacting each other, forming tight networks and rallying their forces. Better to be safe than sorry, even with all their preparations, the paladins of Voltron inform Earth of their victory and of their return. The Earth welcomes them back with relief. Their Lions land on designated pads at the Galaxy Garrison in the United States, their pads labeled by color for their convenience. But before they can even relish the sun and earth of their own planet, they're quickly ushered into one of the buildings and the paladins whisper about themselves. "What, no welcoming committee?" Lance cries out. "At least let me enjoy the sun for a minute..." "You would think we'd get some press coverage," Keith mutters. "At this Garrison?" Pidge scoffs. "Yeah, right." "Security here's tight," says Matt, shrugging. "I think we're lucky not to have been shot down in our own airspace." "Commander Holt told everyone we were coming, though." Shiro frowns. "Apologies for the seemingly cold welcome," interrupts an officer. "Earth is still in a state of...uneasiness regarding your return." Another adds, "The sensationalizing of the return of our heroes can wait, of course. Right now, we need to gather further information from you." "Further information?" Lance echoes. "For what?" "For the record," Shiro answers. "Most likely on the probability of a Galra invasion sometime in the future." "Well, that's zero, right?" "There are still Galra colonies looking forward to another Kral Zera, Lance." Says Keith. "We need to tell them that." With a defeated hum, Lance looks ahead of him. They pass a board with signs pointing to the different factions of the building. A shudders clambers down his back when they turn an all-too familiar corner. "Dude, they're taking us to admin!" He clings to Pidge's arm. "Do you think Iverson's still here?" "Man up, Lance. I doubt they're going to give us lifelong detention for saving the very universe we all live inーlet go!" Hanging on to Hunk instead, he pouts. "Is lifelong detention a real thing or is it lifelong as in high school-lifelong? Like, we just have detention for as long as we're in this school and graduateー" "I'm kidding," she smirks over her shoulder. "My dad should have already told the captains and everyone what's good." "Yeah," Hunk nods. "I don't think Mr. Holt's going to advocate for us getting punished, Lance." "True," he sighs. "Commander Holt was pretty cool. I mean, he’s your dad." "Both those things, he is." Matt smiles next to Pidge, crossing his arms. "Yeah, and while you're all worried about detention or whatever," Shiro snorts. "I'm here worrying for any charges I might get for breakout and inferred child kidnapping." They all exclaim. "What, noー" "ーShiro, come onー" "ーThey can't call it a breakoutー" "ーIt wasn't even kidnappingー" "ーThey cannotー" "ーOh, yeah, they canー" "ーKeith, if Shiro goes to jail, I'm blaming youー" "ーShiro's not going to jail!" Lance lets out an odd squeal, clinging off Hunk as he backs away. Keith's voice had snapped loudly, his eyes glowing a truly concerning shade of yellow. He points a shaking finger. "What kind of Galra nonsenseー" Pidge giggles while Matt hides behind her. "He even has fangs..." Shiro puts a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head with a smile. "Relax, Keith. It was a joke. I think Commander Holt wouldn't advocate for me going to prison either." "I'll let him have it if he has," Pidge responds immediately, locking herself around his waist protectively. "No one's taking my Space Dad to jail." Shiro grins, ruffling her hair. "Space Dad, huh." "So, you replaced Dad while you were up there, Kate?" Matt blinks. "Had to project on somebody, Matt. He was all I had!" Shiro snorts into his hand, sounding a little bit like he was crying. Keith scoffs, smiling. Their walk ends in a rather empty lounge. With a huge, floor to ceiling window, they stare at the activity across the arid land. Cadets and Garrison-issued golf carts, as Lance called them, run across the terrain, kicking up sand into the air. "The legendary admin lounge," Lance smirks as Hunk swoons and whines. "Ugh, I'm craving Earth food. I'd so raid their kitchen, but if Iversonーor anyone really, walks inー" He gulps. "I'd rather not." "I feel ya, bud, I'm starving, too. Man, but I also feel for Allura. She had to come all this way with us and leave her kind behindーby the way, where'd they take her, Coran, and Krolia to anyway?" "Some officers are registering them as foreign allies, I think? And she'll get to go back," Pidge shrugs, plopping down with a tablet on the couches. "It's just for a few days and we'll be doing, what? Press tours or something? Then, she'll be off on one of the Lions to try and find a planet for the last of the Alteans." "Oh, yay. Publicity events." Keith slides down next to her. "Hey, you don't get to complain," she pokes his knee with a sneer. "You were lucky to be with the Blades of Marmalade while Coran had us dance like monkeys for the Voltron Coalition. It's your turn to suffer with us." "Marmora," Keith pouts. "Marmalaaade!" Lance and Matt chortle. "She said Blades of Marmalade..." "It even rhymes!" "I think she'll be alright, Lance." Hunk interrupts. "She seemed pretty stoaked about getting to see Earth." "Was she really?" "I still am, actually." Allura enters the lounge with a large grin on her face, two children hanging off her armor. Krolia, Cosmo, and Coran follow her in. "Ahoy, number three!" Coran calls. "Or should I call you number four now? Well, anywho, you have company incoming!" Lance's heart drops. Then it soars as the children sprint in his direction, squealing. "¡Tíííooo!" "What the cheeseー" They knock the wind out of him, tackling him to the floor. Cosmo scampers after them, a herding instinct. "What," he gasps. "Are you guys doing here? Cosmoーquit slobbering!" The kids laugh, and it's then Lance sees the tears in their eyes. Even after two years, he recognizes the chubby, round faces of his niblings. The boy, with his large grin, still has teeth growing in. The girl has a couple of bandages on her face, her eyes bright behind a few stray locks of her even-longer dark hair. With a whistle, Cosmo joins Keith and Krolia on the couch. Its tail wags as they all give the space pooch a good rub. The boy whines. "Aw, I wanted to pet it moreー"

“Don’t worry,” Krolia smiles. “You can pet him all you want.”

“Really一ow!” "Caleb," the girl elbows him, hissing quickly. "Lance is right here, you can waitーHi, tío!" "Welcome back!" They grin hugely. "Caleb, Andrea," Lance chortles. "What are you guys doing here? How'd even leave the island?" Andrea opens her mouth eagerly, only to click it shut as their faces to contort with fear when a voice at the lounge door commands their attention. "Where is he?" A woman with a Garrison Administrator uniform asks, eyes on fire. The children jump away from him, the boy wincing comically. "¡Ay, ahí va a morir!" Lance gasps. "Tití?" "AdminitratorーSelena?" Shiro gapes slightly. "Good to see you again, Captain Shirogane." She salutes. "Do pardon my demeanor. I just clocked out. And I have a rather pressing personal matter to attend to." "You're the personal matter," the girl whispers in Lance's ear, poking his side before bolting back to a safer distance. He winces, giddy fear tickling his stomach. "¿Pero quéーtúーhacesー" He yelps as Selena manifests in front of him, taking a tight hold of his ear. "Montandote en una nave extraterrestre sin permiso oficial? Did you not read the cadet handbook I gave you? It says clearly, that you nor any other cadet are not to board any foreign ships without superior and or administrative clearance!" "I know, I know!" He wants to cry and he wants to laugh. Her no-nonsense countenance was still sharp and mounted with rectangular frames. But it looked as if age and something else had touched her usually bright skin, a few grey hairs streaking through that floating cloud bob of hers. Meanwhile, she was right. It really was in the handbook. He had read every single leaf of it, from cover to cover. Not like he was heading off to one of the most prestigious piloting schools in the world, it was nothing to worry about. Of course he read it. Not reading it felt like an act of sacrilege when she first gave it to him. That's why he read it all in one night. And reread it again three more times for good measure. "Oh, you knew? Pues, ¡no parece!" From a teary eye, he sees Shiro trying to wrangle a smile yanking at his lips and Lance had never felt more embarrassed. But he was happy about it. The children snicker a little bit more loudly, giving him dark smiles as he suffers. "Please let go, tití," he tries. "I'm sorryyy, I swear!" "You should be grateful," Selena humphed, crossing her arms. "I'm giving you a fraction of the physical lashing your mother can't give you. Yet." The kids giggle. "She's gonna kick your butt." Selena caresses his cheek, eyes assessing his face. With a nod of satisfaction, she turns away, taking in the rest of the faces in the room. "You must be Princess Allura," she greets expertly, readjusting her glasses. "It is an honor." "Please, no need for formalities." Allura smiles, joining their hands in a firm shake. "I apologize for my rudeness. Iーmy family has been waiting a long time since we saw his video and I'm just about out of patience." "You saw my video?" The skin on his ear is hot. "Everyone back home saw it!" The woman cups his face firmly. "Broke our hearts all over again. If you don't call your superiors next time, ay, Dios mío..." He laughs, teary-eyed and pulling her into an embrace. "He's a crybaby! It really is him!" The children join them, locking like monkeys around his legs. They barely reached his knees last time he saw them. His throat stings harder. "You owe me ten pesos, Caleb." Andrea smirks. He whines. "Acho, manooo..." "Wait, you guys made a bet to see if I lived?" Lance pouts, his voice cracking. "And to see if you weren't some chameleon alien?" She adds. "Yeah? There was no way you could have just died when you disappeared." "He could have been killed in, like, an explosion or something!" Caleb argues. "Did you even see how that Lion was moving? Only he could drive it like that." Lance splutters. "Wow, okay, rude. I risk my life, fight a war, help save the universe and this is the thanks I get?" "Uh..." He laughs again. "I'm justー" "Oigan, respeten." The command comes from Selena and the door. They look to see a young woman walk in. She's in a short, sporty dress, the white fabric speckled with dirt. She's tailed by two large men, one tall like Lance, fair skin still intact and the other, large and stocky like Hunk. A freezing joy thrashes in Lance's gut, and he almost really does burts into tears. "VeronicaーLuisーMarco!" He chokes. "The minute we heard you were coming back, they hashed me to let them come with me. Not everyone got a pass," Selena smiles tiredly. "Abu wouldn't have been able to hold the trip," says the taller man, giving Lance the playful smirk he had learned to mimic. "Neither would Elo, but we managed." "Luis," Lance sniffles. "Do I know you?" The man grins and picks him and Andrea up, knocking their heads together. "Come on, man!" He laughs. Andrea growls and squeals. "Paaa, nooo! Cut it out!" "Oh, so you prefer getting squeezed to death? Okay, then. Marco, you take them." Lance's stomach drops delightedly as his largest, eldest brother gathers him and poor Andrea in a bone-crushing hug, cackling loudly at his own display of strength. With a quick glance at his niece, they let their bodies slack, ragdoll mode activated. "We're dead," they wheeze. "Come on, Lance, I know you're stronger than that!" Marco cackles. "But it's not like I was concerned for you or anything," his wide shoulders shrug and he puts the two down. "I mean, you did survive a category five huracán by yourself." Luis chuckles. "Oh, yeah, he did." "Well, I wasn't really alone," Lance rasps with a smile. "You got stuck in the shed at the end of the fence, Marco." "Still, I consider a child without an adult within five feet alone. You were very much alone." "Wait wait wait, when was this?" Veronica frowns, skeptical. She crosses the lounge, picking up Caleb with ease. The boy starts to twirl her long, dark hair, enthralled. "Hurricane Cobalt," they chorus. "You were at a dig in Europe, remember?" Luis says. "Way out of the way." "Oh," her face relaxes before morphing into a scowl. She shrieks, "Wait, he was alone?" Lance grins while rolling his eyes. "Noー" "Yes!" Marco takes Lance's head in his large hands and nods it. "Yes, he was." He struggles to shake his head, voice muffled. "Nup. Vasn. Fe vas in de shed!" "Doesn't count," Marco lets him go, grinning. Veronica's eyes are wide and she presses her fingers to her forehead. "Ay, Dios mío, este nene solo..." "Veronica, I'm fiiine! It was years ago!" "Doesn't change the fact that these idiots left a toddler by himself during a category five hurricane!" "He wasn't a toddler," Luis mutters, pouting at his daughter. "He was like, six. But, like you said, Marco. He's got to be even stronger now. After fighting in a war and everything." "A war," Veronica looks distant as she shifts Caleb on to her shoulders. Her gaze pins Lance and he shrinks, giving her guilty-dog eyes. He would be lying if he wasn't scared out if his wits even more now. "Vero, I'mー" he takes a breath. And it's a good thing he does. Otherwise, she probably would have broken something after slamming him into the floor. Caleb cackles on her shoulders, pointing a finger. "I'm doing you a mercy, leoncito. If we don't something now, your grandchildren are going to feel la chancla in their DNA." He whimpers into the floor, smiling. "Sounds good." Pulling him to his feet, she brings him into a hug, lifting him off the floor. Caleb hugs his head. "You have no idea how much we missed you." "Tell me about it, please. I missed you guys, too, you know." He runs his hand through her hair, holding her tightly and blowing a raspberry into Caleb's chest. Setting him down, the kid goes into his arms and he nuzzles their faces together. "No, but we really missed you a lot, tío. After you left, we all got so sad." He pouts. "They're lucky they got clearance from the board to even be here after you said you were coming back," Selena looks distant. "Those words made life start running back through the house." "That house, Lance," Veronica gestures vaguely, shaking her head. "That house was an absolute, unemotional wasteland. For months after you left. Luis and Marco had to learn to cook for everyone, to replace Ma, Abu, and Ela." "Whatーreplace?" "Abu, Ela, and Nina wouldn't leave their rooms. Neither would Papa Tío or Elo. They stayed shut up for a long time." "They wouldn't smile, they wouldn't laugh. None of us did, really. For a reeeally long time." Caleb adds, going back to his mother. "I was afraid the grief would take them eventually, but they pulled through. It got really close, though." "Abu stayed in bed for almost a week after you left." Andrea says from atop of Luis's shoulders, drooping over his head. "Elo stayed next to her while Papa Tío and Nina missed work a lot of days. They almost got fired." "If it wasn't for us," Luis gestures to themselves. "I really think they might as well given into the grief of losing you." "You're that powerful, leoncito. It took all of us to try and fix the hole you left behind. But, I don't why we're all talking about what's in the past," Marco shakes his large head with a pout. "Are we going to call them or what?" "We are. They're expecting us. And we have time to kill while the officers decide who's doing what," Selena rolls her eyes. She shares a glance with Shiro and Matt, who smile pleasantly. She nods then, taking out a device. "Let's make it fast. So, let's try now." With excitement, Lance shakes off the guilt in his chest, throwing a sheepish smile to his team. They smile back with understanding, finally grasping a bit of the caliber of their teammate's homesickness. He really had a lot of people to get back to. When the transmission reaches its target, the face of a middle-aged woman greets them. Lance inhales sharply. Her hair touches her shoulders, a few lines of age engraved under her eyes. Her eyes widen and shine at the sight before her, her own small intake of breath echoing in his ears. He keeps his cries at bay, sniffling and giving her a smile. His voice is strangely quiet. "Hola, mami." The woman's hands fly over her mouth, muffling her own noises. She almost seems to choke on her words as she tries to speak, chuckles and whimpers wracking her shoulders. "Nina, say hello to your son." Selena smirks, ruffling his hair. "Hola, mi amor," her voice whispers. The view shifts away from her and the feed presents them with a view of a living room. The image of a large built woman sitting on a couch with three other people sends more tears down Lance's face. "Ela," The children call. "Papa Tío!" "Elo!" "Abu!" Their heads turns around and their eyes widen. The eldest man grins widely and he hoots, clapping. His wife wipes at the tears on her face with a shaking hand and the broad woman stands, swinging herself around. Her apron flows about as she sings and hoots, clapping her hands loudly. "¿Qué les dije? ¿Quéーlesーdiーjeee? ¿El Señor es?"  "¡Bueno!" They cheer. "¿El Señor es?" "¡Bueno!" "¡Así es! Alejandro!" She takes the shoulders of the man sitting next to her, his eyes bulging as she shakes his shoulder. "Say hello to your son, for God's sake!" "Papa Tío一Pa, it's him!" Andrea says. "It's really him!" "We checked!" Caleb grins. Chuckling, the man taps on her wrists and looks forward. "I don't doubt you for a second. ¿Cómo haz estado, mijo?" Lance nods weakly. "Bien. Bendición, pa." "Dios te bendice, hijo." "If that's not the truth," Ela laughs. "He's finally come back to us in one piece!" "Me imagino que nos extrañó," the elderly woman smiles, tucking her white hair back with a trembling hand. She sniffles. "Look at his face. Says everything." "He's still a crybaby, Abu," Andrea smirks. Lance pouts at her for a moment, wiping at his tears before putting a sad smile back on his face. "I really did miss you, though." "Like your father said," Abu smiles. "I don't doubt you for a second. ¿Y tú?" She puts a hand on her husband's. He stares at Lance with the wisdom he feared he wouldn't get to see again. "Get your butt back here, young man. I want to hear every single last part of whatever story you have for us. I've told you so many stories. It's your turn to tell us some." "Elo wants to hear a story?" Caleb gasps. "No way!" "Lance, you luckyー" Andrea's mouth is covered by Luis's hand. "Lengua," he rolls his eyes. "I'll一I’ll tell you so many stories when I get back. So many一I promise,” he wipes fast arm  over his face. “You're一you’re probably going to want to send me back up there. I'm going to talk your ears off!" "We sure hope so, hijo." Nina speaks again, joining the frame with several tissues in her hand. "I would have talked more, but I was too busy crying." "It's okay, ma." He grins. "It's really not," she sniffles. "But it will be, now that you're back. Try and hurry, alright?" He nods. "I'llーI'll be back," he gives them a smirk while his relatives scoff and roll their eyes. "Ridiculo," Selena mutters with the same smirk she had given him. They wave and chorus a goodbye as the feed shuts off, leaving them just a couple thousand miles apart again. But, at last, Lance heaved a wet sigh. A weight falls off his shoulders. He really had missed his family. Granted, they weren't all here, but he would reach them eventually, and then, he would hug them, too. For now, he focused on the ones here, right next to him. Excitement rushed through again. His old family would get to meet his new one. It looked like being apart from his old one, for what seemed like a while, paid off. He'd actually been blessed with an even larger one. And he couldn't wait to introduce them a little bit more properly. But, as he hugged his aunt, niece, nephew, sister, and brothers, the nerves, the fear and anxiety in his mind silenced themselves in the sigh he had let go. His mind quieted. Finally. The doors to the lounge opened. "Welcome back, Defenders of the Universe!"