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zensations35 · 2 months

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It's Manual Fucking Labor (Luci/fer)

Been working on this one for a bit. I love the delicious rivalry between Al and Luci, so I toyed with that a bit and made it spicy with some snz. I also am really enjoying the text flair I'm getting to play with for all these characters, so I hope yall are liking that. Ahaha. Enjoy!!

“That one needs to go over here!” Charlie points as she heaves one of the freshly slated planks of wood for the hotel revamp. “Can you cut three more for us, dad?” she smiles sweetly at Lucifer who sits crosslegged in front of a pile of wood.

He nods, dragging the back of his arm across his forehead. “I, uh, I’ll go head and do that, sure.”

Her eyes are bright and full, like the sun he never saw. “Dad,” she beams at him, “thank you for this.”

He tilts his head, “For what, Char Char?”

“For helping. For putting in so much effort. For,” she pats one of the planks, “for wanting to do it this way.”

Lucifer’s brows rise. “Th-this way?”

Charlie strides off before he can ask her to elaborate. His eyes flick back to the uncut wood and his lips tip down in a pout.

“Problem?” A staticky trill sends Lucifer’s hackles up.

“What?” Lucifer snaps, grabbing one of the slabs of wood, dragging a sharp claw deftly down the middle and cutting it as if it were a razor saw. Small fluffy flakes snow the air around him, making his cheeks fuzz. “Hhhfff…” his brow scrunches and a flush spreads from the circles on his cheeks. “Hieh--HiSFFH!”

Alastor skips over, peering down in amusement as sawdust skitters all around the fallen angel.

“Hm, quite shoddy,” the Radio Demon observes, tapping his cane against the plank with a squeal of feedback.

Lucifer finishes cutting the planks and coughs, wringing out his hands. “It’s manual labor, Alastor. I doubt you’d understand how to even do it.”

“Ooooh I see.” Alastor leans dolefully on his cane, “bonding with our dear Charlie with handmade projects?”

Lucifer sniffles, scrubbing his face with his whole fist. “Mh-hyep.”

The smugness surges by 60%. “Ohh, are we having trouble??”

“No! Of hh-c-course n--” Lucifer’s voice starts to pitch higher and higher, “Hig’Sshieu!”

Alastor lets out a keening laugh.

“Fuck off, Alastor, before I make you,” Lucifer growls.

Alastor tuts at him. “No need to be cranky, your highness.” He pulls out a red and black handkerchief, but Lucifer waves it off with a cool huff.

“I don’t need your hanky panky.”

A whistle of radio silence whines in their ears. Lucifer cocks a black eyebrow.

“What? What’d I say?”

Alastor sighs and tucks the cloth back into his suit pocket. “Not that you’d use it without a nose, anyway.”

“Hey!” Lucifer snaps, fangs glinting. “It’s complicated!”

“Far be it from me to inquire how your…extremities manifest.”

“You--snf--you--hieh!”

Alastor cups a hand over his ear, patiently waiting for the rest of the sentence, nothing but sass in his daggerlike smirk.

“I-I’m gonna--hhg’HGx’SHIeu!” This time, several puffs of flame escape from between his fangs, and Charlie finally realizes something is going on with her dad.

She hurries over after setting down what she was working on. “Dad, what’s wrong?”

Lucifer palms the spreading flush on his cheek and gives an unconvincing bray of a laugh, “Noh-huh-thing! Nothing at all! Perfectly fine!”

Alastor hums, lifting one of the smaller slabs of wood, his stance casually askew. “Of course he is, Charlie!” he saunters toward Lucifer, ever the helpful little elf. “He was just about to get started on--oh, my, let me just…” the Radio Demon scrapes his hand across the wood, brushing the powder from the last sawing off of it and directly into Lucifer’s fucking face. “There we are! Oh dear…” Alastor feigns concern as small spirals of smoke begin to coil out of Lucifer’s snarled lips.

That fuck! He did that on phhh-pur-hhh!

His face scrunches, fangs peeking, rimmed by an orange glow as he lets out high pitched whines, “Ieh hiiih! HIP’CHSS’IEψ!” flames mist like aerosol, catching the flakes of wood shavings and motes of dust in its heat, cooking them into flakes of gray ash. The hellfire rejoices but the King sighs.

He wipes away fresh tears and lets a vague chuckle out. “Ah, Charlie, sweetie, perhaps we could speed up the process? I could just, ah,” he angles his elbows and dances his arms, “Zap a bap!” he does a little finger gun shot. “Yeah?”

“Ah, poor, Charlie,” Alastor clucks his tongue, fingers drumming across her shoulder, “I know how excited you were to do this by hand with your father--what was it you said? A bonding moment?” his voice is anything but altruistic. “But if he can’t handle it, I suppose it would be best to do things the easy way…” his teeth clack caustically.

Lucifer seethes. his teeth warping and curling. “I’m fine,” he decides, fighting back a throatful of air.

“A-are you sure, dad?”

Lucifer flaps his hand dramatically. “Absotively! Don’t w-Huh! Worry!”

Charlie doesn’t look one hundred percent convinced but if he says he’s fine, and wants to continue, then they’ll continue. She gives him two more boards to cut and hurries off to work on another section.

Lucifer turns back to the unfinished planks, his shoulders simmering with translucent fog. Alastor continues to observe in silent amusement.

“Are you going to help at all?”

“Maybe.”

Rrgh. Lucifer throws himself to a standing position, muttering under his breath. I swear to me, if Charlie didn't like that guy I would…

Well, there’s a lot he would do. Especially if he were…”Hiiet--”

Fuck me to here!

He needs to get a handle on the fucking fire. “Hgk…” Lucifer gulps the throatful of heat, his body taut with a shiver. His fingers squeeze the plank he’s holding and… ”Hi-ih-IEH⛧GHSHHIEUψu!”

Instead of flames, five feathers pop out and flit around the short King, catching the breeze and running off into the wind. A couple of them float near Alastor who looks irritated at them, waving them away with a chop of his hand and a staticky, “How very uncouth…”

Lucifer’s pride flares and his grin grows wicked.

“Weelllll,” he unfurls his six wings, exaggerating them with a flex. “I better get this installed up there.”

Lucifer quakes his wings and smacks them down, clouding the ground below his knees with dust and shavings. He shoots into the air, spinning away from the source of his allergens as he rubs at his teary eyes and flushed cheeks.

Fuck Alastor, that prick. He deserves a bit of karma. Would Lucifer really be at fault if he were flying and he just happened to lose a few feathers? If they just by chance were to fall into that jackass’s face??

As Lucifer flies, a few feathers wilt from his wings--by accident of course! And, as predicted by divine oracle, they just happen to float down near the red haired Radio Demon, currently distracted while helping Charlie with something frivolous, Lucifer is certain.

The feather drifts…soft downy catching the dying light in a soft pink glow. Slow, deliberate. It coils, totally by accident of course, right down beside the Radio Demon, and nudges the left side of his nostril. He blinks, now distracted from his work. His crimson eyes flit up but another brush of the cottony down makes his lids ripple shut.

“Hh-hh!”

His shoulders spike and he thrusts a hand up to shoo away the feather, “Ss٨ﮩﮩZH! Hgk٨ـﮩﮩ”

“Alastor!” Charlie spins in surprise when his mic clatters to the ground.

He gives a feeble attempt to wave her away but she puts an arm around him comfortingly.

“Are you alright? Maybe you should sit down. You just recovered after all--”

Lucifer watches with an indignant pout as his daughter comforts the wrong person. He doesn’t miss the not-so-subtle flash of Alastor’s smug grin as he allows Charlie to lead him away, leaving Lucifer to finish the rest of the work by himself.

God fucking dammit.

#I haven't done sawdust allergies like EVER #and it's been on my mind since hubby did some manual LABOR AHAHA #so yeah i had to do this #next fic will likely be my ocs because i'm very nearly done with that LSSR fic #but for my haz/bin fam thank yall for pushing me to finish this!!#what a ride!!#snz #snz fic #zen fanfic #haz/bin #luc/ifer #al/astor #allergies #sawdust allergies #snzfic #zenfic

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dibbiedabbiedoobie · 2 years

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it’s 2am time for Obligatory Vore Thoughts. Mostly considering that one anon who spoke abt luci/fer fearplay. I’ve been toying around a bit with the idea, haven’t really settled on a fic for it.

Luci feels like a very versatile sort of pred, I think. He vibes very strongly like someone who could fit a lot of rules, except maybe being genuinely cruel. He’s too attached to the whole “I’m not evil, I punish” evil thing for cruelty, except maybe with a criminal.

That said

He absolutely vibes like someone who would be very big on squirming prey. Just feeling them wriggle around inside of him feels like it would be extremely pleasurable and probably something he’d actively seek out or goad his prey into. Like he’s the asshole constantly pressing at his stomach, trying to prod a Very Exhausted prey into moving around again because it felt nice, and really, humans get so tired so quickly, can’t you go a bit longer?

So I think you would probably get a mild level of intentional fearplay from him. Or, if not fearplay, then at least attempts to startle them/alarm them. Not so much that the prey actually thinks they’re going to die (if they start crying he immediately panics and tries to comfort them). But enough that they squirm in all the right ways that he likes. Usually he doesn’t keep the facade up if they ask (the whole “never lies” bit) and typically relies more on being annoying than scaring people to get his fix.

I think the only time he might not do that is under protective or cruel circumstances. With the former, I think mostly on if he has to swallow someone very quickly/without warning and then not speak to them. The squirms probably feel significantly less gratifying as they slowly peter out, and he’s doing his best to remain all Cool and Suave while finding a moment to comfort his prey. That would go doubly so for people (namely humans) he knows and cares about personally.

For the latter, I would imagine he just... ignores them when they ask, on purpose. He doesn’t lie, but he also isn’t obligated to answer. So he lets them squirm and feel terrified and like they’re about to die; a just punishment, really. Better than hell, even, because they would die in hell, over and over and over again.

I’m still unsure about a particular fic. It will very likely star pred!Luci, but I’m unsure of the circumstances beyond that. Perhaps I’ll capitalize on that time Uriel kept trying to kill Chloe, but I'm not really against the idea of using any of the resident humans (or multiple of them). Just unsure, I suppose. I’ll figure it out. Or just write multiple, if I can find the spoons. If I’m feeling really spicy I might draw something but that’s a bit of a distant wish.

#dibbiespeaks #voretalk #fearplay #v.ore #v0re #safe vore #nonfatal vore #soft vore #luc/ifer

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snzysimper · 1 month

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I haven’t seen any art of Lucifer yet, so I decided I’d take initiative and just do it myself.

I like to think that he doesn’t like sneezing openly in front of people because sometimes his wings will pop out and it will draw unwanted attention to himself. He will usually stifle if he is in mixed company. If it’s just him and Lilith then he doesn’t mind as much. She will tease him about it of course.

“Aww, is my little angel allergic to the feathers from his own wings?”

#haz//bin ho//tel #Luc//ifer Mor//ningstar #snzblr #snz #snz art #snzfucker #snz kink

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stargone · 18 hours

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i would love to give xue li a once upon a time verse but i have no idea where she'd fit in :[

#im also watching luc/ifer w my mom #and bri/dgerton <3 #so many thoughts #so little time #tantai jin apologist › out of character.

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sainticidal · 2 months

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you may call her mikey. she introduces herself as "meeka" on earth.

"meeka"/mikha is her earth name, one that she goes by when she is incognito pretending to be human. she does medicine at various hospitals, and works as a traveling doctor. she has credentials in internal medicine and specialises in the area of those with special needs.

while michael does not put a label on her gender, i have personally labeled her as non-binary transfemme. she uses strictly feminine pronouns and masculine titles/references.

her physical appearance stands at 6'1''.

she is no bodybuilding in shape, but she is quite toned, with emphasis on her arms.

she has rough hands.

while her hair is long as heck (to her knees), she often tries to tie it up or braid it back when not in heaven. she is the most relaxed in heaven, because there has never been any danger there, and she never anticipates any being there.

she has once dressed up as michael myers for halloween. for the laughs. she is actually a huge fan of the halloween movies.

she actually has a good sense of humour and is a rather good sport.

michael is actually a huge romantic, despite shirking most of her romantic pursuits over the centuries. she does not fall often, but when she does she falls rather hard for someone.

she is pansexual, with a preference for femininity.

her favourite sinners are alast/or and angel du/st.

she physically resembles lucifer the most out of all other angels. this is intentional.

she transitioned from "cis male" (term used loosely since she is a celestial body) to what she is now after she had cast lucifer out of the garden/heaven, but she expressed femininity prior, during the days of the garden of eden. that was her experimental phase.

#🕊️ headcanon!#just some funfacts about michael do with these what you will.#a little more on her physical appearance since i never spoke on it #besides scribbles here and there #i was sitting here like 'do these people even know my fave hh character'' then i was like lets do mikey fun facts #(also its luc/ifer and alasto/r)#(lu/cifer was a given)

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putastakeinit · 2 months

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me writing drabbles like:

#ooc.#writing drabbles of angela and luc/ifer from luci/fer. bc I can't help myself

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devildom-moss · 6 months

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I got one!! Lucifer with a GN MC who gets one of those silly chibi plush of him (in-universe maybe Raph made it) and he's low-key jealous they spend more time with it than him. (sfw please!)

I'm going to be honest, there is probably less MC (and Lucifer x reader interactions) in this than expected, but I hope you still like it! It's got a bit of fluff and a lot of jealousy. (Who doesn't love Lose-ifer being all jealous and stupid?) There's also a decent serving of Raphael in this. Oops.

Lucifer being jealous of a plush version of himself

(Lucifer x gn!MC)

(SFW)

Word Count: +1,000

Raphael knew what he was doing, Lucifer convinced himself. That wicked, lousy, no-good, rotten angel was doing this as revenge for something. Maybe leaving him behind during the war? Raphael was aggressive – but petty? Maybe not. No, perhaps he was just charmed by you, too. Now, Lucifer was being replaced.

Oh, no, not by the angel himself, but by some handmade plush – no bigger than a foot long – designed to look like Lucifer. Raphael had given you the plush last week, and while Lucifer had to admit that it was well-made, he didn’t appreciate that you had been carrying that small, poor excuse for a replacement around all week.

It was embarrassing that Lucifer found himself so foolishly jealous. It was just a doll that looked like him, so why was he so upset about it? If anything, he should have been happy that the doll was crafted in his image. You could be carrying around a small plush effigy of Solomon. That would really piss him off.

What was Lucifer supposed to do with his childish jealousy? Set aside his pride and confront you about his desire for more attention? Admit that he wanted your eyes on him and the fact that you clung to a doll that someone – Raphael, no less – had made for you left him annoyed to the point that he had considered hiding the doll on three different occasions and burning it once – if only the opportunity to pry it from your adoring arms had presented itself? Could you just hold him in your arms for one night instead of that damn doll? Of course, Lucifer thought himself to be above all that honesty nonsense and decided to attack the secondary source of his irritation.

“A minute of your time, Raphael.” Lucifer physically blocked the exit from the House of Lamentation. The angel had been kind enough to drop some fabric scraps off for Leviathan. “Care for a glass of Demonus?”

“Do I have a choice? Are you interested in trying to drink me under the table again?” Raphael looked Lucifer up and down. “Sure.”

Lucifer brought Raphael to his study and poured the alcohol into two glasses. He had selected something a bit bitter – not that Lucifer expected Raphael to be opposed to something bitter.

“Here you are,” Lucifer hummed. There was an off-putting elegance in the gentle motions Lucifer contorted himself into when handing the glass to Raphael. While Lucifer was typically a class act, Raphael picked up on the exaggerated sweetness of it. Lucifer even offered him a polite smile. The Devildom could go through another deadly cold spell before that disingenuous smile would fool Raphael, who waited patiently for Lucifer to take a seat across from him before he responded.

“Thank you, Lucifer.” Raphael smiled and took a sip of his drink. Not half bad. It could be a bit more bitter, though. Then again, perhaps Lucifer is bitter enough. “I take it you have something to discuss with me?”

“About the doll,” Lucifer mused, trailing off to open the way for a confession – to what, he wasn’t sure.

“The one I made for MC?”

“Precisely.” Lucifer set his glass down and crossed his legs.

“I noticed MC has been paying it a lot of attention. What’s the matter, Lucifer? Are you jealous?” Raphael questioned him in a straightforward tone, but Lucifer understood that this constituted teasing.

“Is there a reason it looks like me?” Lucifer slipped around the question.

“That was my intention. It’s obvious that MC clings to you. They adore you. I figured a Lucifer-shaped doll would allow you a bit of space and keep MC from feeling lonely when you are too busy to pay them any mind.” Raphael’s words stung in Lucifer’s ears.

“How considerate of you. Mission accomplished.” Lucifer wished he had put a curse on Raphael’s glass – nothing deadly, just something that would make him feel a bit better about the honesty from Raphael. If only he had pulled a page from Satan and Belphie’s book.

“Is it serving its purpose too well for your liking? Don’t tell me you’re honestly jealous of a doll, now. Isn’t envy supposed to be Leviathan’s whole shtick? You’re going to give him a complex.” Raphael let out a small laugh and cut it off with another sip of Demonus. “They’d never pick a doll over the real demon himself. Even I know that. As I said before, they adore you.”

Lucifer’s face flushed – and it wasn’t from the alcohol. He was moping, but he needed Raphael’s blunt delivery to knock some sense into him. If only Lucifer had asked, Raphael would have been more than happy to knock sense into him with a spear. That would have been less embarrassing.

“Sorry, Raphael. I forgot that I have business to attend to.” Lucifer stood up and smoothed his vest down. “Please be on your way.”

Raphael’s eyes widened. “I didn’t finish my drink.”

“A shame.” Lucifer smirked. “Next time, perhaps.”

“Based on today’s conversation, I take it that won’t be for a while.” Raphael stood up, glass in hand, and downed the rest of his Demonus. He exhaled sharply at the sudden, mild burn. That was not a chugging drink. “Until next time. Give MC my best.”

“Sure.”

Raphael headed for the door, stopping just short of leaving. “You should try honesty next time. It might save you a glass of Demonus. It was good, though. Thank you.”

With Raphael safely out of sight, Lucifer pulled out his D.D.D. and went into his messages. He couldn’t resist smiling when he noticed the last thing you had sent him was that flapping Blackjack with hearts sticker.

Lucifer: MC, come to my room when you get a chance. I require your presence to put me at ease. I would also like to provide you with a bit more attention than you can get from a doll.

MC: Are you jealous, Luci?

Lucifer: Perhaps. What will you do about it?

MC: I’m on my way, you big baby. I’ll cuddle with you for as long as you wish.

Lucifer: Does the offer extend to kissing as well?

MC: We’ll see.

MC:

Lucifer broke into a large grin, melting at your replies. Maybe while you were cuddling, that plush could just get lost somewhere. Who knows?

#lucifer #gn!mc #requests #anon #ask #obey me #obey me lucifer #lucifer x reader

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freestyle-crocodile-trashpile · 11 months

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Drunk

Summary:You get a little drunk off the wine Diavolo had at a party and offer the brothers to sit on your lap

Type:Short Scenarios: Lucifer X M!Reader: Mammon X M!Reader: Leviathan X M!Reader: Satan X M!Reader: Asmodeus X M!Reader: Beelzebub X M!Reader: Belphegor X M!Reader

Version: One Master

Asmodeus

He was originally dancing when he noticed you sitting by yourself. So, he walked over to you.

"MC? Are you alright"

He was a bit worried since yor head was down, clothes messed up, face red. He wanted to make sure you were okay. You looked up and hummed. Giving a small chuckle at his worried look.

"Ah,*hic* Asmodeus~ Why don't you come take a seat*hic*"

You sounded drunk, but he wasn't gonna back out. Wrapping his arms around your neck, he sat down facing you(like in the gif), leaning towards you he smirked, wondering what you had in kind. You smirked back at him, pulling closer by his waist and putting your face in his neck. He giggled and hugged your head.

Mammon

He was just standing to the side, totally not planning a way to steal something without anyone noticing. But he couldn't help but look over at you a few times, and by few, I mean every few seconds. But could you blame him? His crush, you, was sitting down with your legs spread, shirt unbuttoned, with your tie undone, with a bottle of wine in your hand, OH! And don't forget the messy hair. He'd inch himself closer and closer to you subconsciously. Until he heard your drunken giggles, and you call out his name.

"Mammon! *hic*, lover boy Mammon"

He blushed at that remark, but before he could respond you kept talking.

"You look tense*hic*, need a seat?"

He blushed even harder when you patted your legs, fully inviting him in. He wouldn't shut up about how he's the great mammon and how powerful he was, and how he didn't need to sit on a humans lap... as he sat on your lap. Let's just say he secretly loved it.

Belphegor

He was tired. Honestly, he was looking for a spot to take a nap. And he'd always never near you, from the beginning when you were dancing, to the middle when you were eating and drinking, and to now. Where you were basically blacked out drunk from wine in a nice, comfy chair. You wouldn't even have to ask. He had his mind right as soon as he started heading for you.

"Heyyy~ Belp-"

Before you could finish your sentence, he was in your lap and snuggled up to you. You just giggled and kept drinking the wine. You were definitely gonna take some home.

Lucifer

He was talking with Diavolo. Lucifer was paying attention, just to his brother, since he knows you can hold your own. But it wasn't until Diavolo pointed out your state. Lucifer panicked and rushed to your side. When he got to you, he started asking questions, like if you're hurt, if you need water, etc. Your response never answered any questions he had.

"Aww~ Luc*hic*ifer is worried, hehe~ *hic* come have a seat, you worryyy to much"

Lucifer was taken back by your remark. He stared at your hand as it patted your leg. Sighing he patted your shoulder.

"MC... this is not the place.... and-"

He started to go on a rant about how idiotic you are and how you should have never drank so much. You only got three minutes in before you pulled him into your lap. Causing him to get flustered and stutter on his words. Eventually, he just shut up and crossed his arms as he stared at you. You couldn't tell what he was feeling. His face was unreadable. You giggled and snuggled into him.

Satan

He hadn't been at the party in the first place. He had been somewhere else, until recently. He was bored and had the urge to tick off Lucifer somehow. When he saw you, he walked over, quite surprised at your state. Then he got an idea. As you were drinking the wine, he grabbed the bottle off a nearby table and waited for you to put your glass down. When you did, he gave you more, he could tell you were pleased by this.

"Thannkk you~ *hic*"

Satan nodded before looking over at Lucifer, who hadn't noticed you two yet. Satan smirked as he slid into your lap. You looked surprised, but out your glass down to put both hands on his hips, he smirked as he leaned forward to kiss you. And he didn't stop, he pressed himself against you and all, because he knew this would most definitely piss off Lucifer, and probably mammon. Satan had a fun night.

Beelzebub

He was originally eating, just eating away to his hearts desire. But he would watch you pretty offen. Just in case you hurt yourself or couldn't get up for the wine. But when he got suspicious of you, mainly because you weren't moving, he walked over to you.

"MC?"

You looked up at him, a dazed smile making its way to your face.

"Heeyyyy, pretty boy~"

Beel didn't seem surprised by your remark. He just patted your shoulder.

"You're drunk, you need some rest, and water"

You frowned and pulled him into a hug, pressing yourself against his stomach. His stomach digesting his most recent food made you move your head to look up at him. Giving him a smile, one he has suspicions of.

"Only if you have a seat for a bit"

Beel looked around for another chair. He was gonna get a chair to sit next to you. And even tho he did find a chair, he still ended up in your lap. He was worried he would accidently hurt you, but you just cuddled into his chest.

Leviathan

He had been with you the whole time. He was originally playing on his Nintendo while sitting next to you on a small sofa, one that can fix three. He wasn't paying attention to you or anything else until some succubus came around. At first, they were just chatting while looking at you, probably because of your looks. Your messy hair, unbuttoned shirt, and messed up tie. Levi just realized how you looked and looked away, blushing. But he couldn't stop himself for looking at you, especially your legs. You had a wide man spread, with your pants a little tight near the top. Sooner than Levi expected, the two succubus walked up to you. One sitting on one of your legs and the other on the arm of the sofa.

"You seem lonely tonight~"

The one on your leg said.

"Yeah~ your buddy here isn't paying you any attention~ you deserve better than him~"

You only chuckled, a little drunk to come up with an argument. Your words were slurred and hard to make out. But even if you said your words as clear as day, Levi was too pissed off to hear it. Oh, how much he wanted to take that spot, to be the one pulling at your messy tie and messing with your hair. He wanted to sit on your lap. He wanted all your attention to himself. He only got more and more mad before he finally had enough. Him turning into his demon form, he pulled the succubus off your leg before sitting down on both of your legs. His knees bent and hanging off the sofa as he hugs your chest, giving the two succubus a nasty glare. You laughed as you hugged him closer.

[A/n:I love this idea. I hope you enjoyed]

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devilscastle69 · 9 months

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Weaponized Incompetence

hi guys i started watching the devil is a p@rt t!mer the other day and im obsessed

i hope u enjoy

dust allergy, luc//ifer (urush//ihara)

“ihSChh!”

Alciel turns to face the disturbance and has to actually angle his gaze downwards when he remembers how short Lucifer is. The hikikomori is idly rubbing his nose, feather duster trailing on the floor in his other hand. “You’re supposed to be cleaning, Urushihara.” he chastises.

“I think I’m allergic to dust.” He frowns.

Alciel’s eye twitches at the excuse. “You’re always trying to get out of doing anything! It’s disgraceful. Maou-sama deserves to come home to a clean castle. It’s bad enough he’s providing for us!” He wrings out his lord’s durable whitey-tighties over the sink. “It’s the very least you can do.”

“The least I can do is nothing.”

“Oh, you’ve already done something!”

Lucifer weighs his options with a sigh. There’s no way Alciel will let him enjoy himself in peace until the chores are done, not with how worked up he’d been all day after a few cracks from Emi about his housekeeping coupled with seeing the charges to their bank account—so he’d ordered a few online games, sue him. “But it’s—”

“And when you’re done dusting, you can vacuum.”

“I can’t do it like you. I’ll probably make a bigger mess—”

“Enough!” Alciel clips damp clothes to the clothesline and whips his head around and bears his fangs. “Hurry up! He’ll be home in a half hour.”

Lucifer grimaces at the dust coating the feathers. Most of it had remained from

previous usage. It darkened them so much that they almost match his wings in terms of color. This has been a pointless waste of his time; he’s sure this isn’t doing much other than taking dust from one area and moving it to a new one. “hH’KxSHh!” Even thinking about it is apparently enough to make him sneeze again. “It’s filthy,” he complains.

“Go shake it outside!” Alciel yells, pointing at the door.

The nerve of this guy. Outside? In the sun? Where there could be people?

Fine.

He sighs and reconciles with himself. After this, he’ll play his new PC games. He has

animals to take care of. Trees to plant. Lands to reign over. Soon enough, Alciel will be too busy fawning over Satan for him to be up his ass. It’ll only be another hour maximum.

He shields his eyes from the sun, even though there’s decent cloud coverage and the temperature outside is almost identical to the one inside the Devil’s Castle. As he shakes out the duster, his eyes begin to water and thus confirm his suspicions. He tries to hold his breath, but he has a feeling it’s too late if the burning itch spreading through his nasal passages is any indication.

“hih’ISCHh! Hehh…hhihtcshh’ih!” Curse this human body. This is terrible. He has to sniffle to keep his nose from running but it has the unpleasant side effect of making the tickle reignite. He scrubs his nose against his shoulder and beats the duster on the rail again. The fallen archangel is no match for the angry cloud of dust that wafts in front of his face. “Tschh! KSChh! heh’ihSCh! h’EDtSZCHhh!”

This is miserable.

He heads back in, head bent from the dizziness following the intensity of the sneezing fit. Even through the budding congestion, he can smell the concoction of chemicals Alciel has started using to clean the kitchen sink in the minute it's taken him to accomplish his task

“Hey, you’re not combi’ding bleach and ammbo’dia, are you?”

“What?”

Lucifer points at the various bottles on the countertop rather than attempt to repeat himself.

“Of course I’m not! I would never be so careless!” Alciel yells back, double checking the labels anyway. “See? They’re all—”

“HhGHT-! Tschhiew…!”

Alciel frowns at the intensity of the poorly restrained sneeze. “Why don’t you switch to vacuuming?”

Lucifer sniffles and hands Alciel the feather duster. Hop off my dick, he thinks with another sniffle. They have no tissues thanks to Alciel’s “budgeting,” so he heads off to grab some toilet paper.

“Where are you going?”

“Are you kiddi’gg?” he mutters, stifling another sneeze before closing the bathroom door behind him. He blows his nose and is disgusted by how much toilet paper he has to go through before he can breathe through his nose again. And even then…

“Ihh’Khshhh! Huhh…” He coughs dryly into the folded up toilet paper before blowing his nose again. Maybe if he’s quiet enough in here, Alciel will forget about him. He sits himself against the wall furthest from the toilet and tries to breathe evenly so he doesn't trigger another sneeze. He rests his head between his knees and cups clean toilet paper over his nose and tries to get some relief from the worsening sinus pressure. Might as well let his nose run freely instead of attempting to blow it every thirty seconds.

What a pain. He almost wishes they’d have unwanted company just to get Alciel off his back. Too bad he hadn’t brought the laptop in here with him. With it, he’d probably be able to stay here for at least three days.

“Urushihara! Stop slacking off!”

“I’mb sorry my health is—h’KSCHh’hiu! Ugh. Of n’doh co’dcernd to you.”

“I can’t understand what you're saying. Open this door!”

Lucifer’s head feels like it’s pounding as if Alciel’s first has been banging directly against his temple rather than on the door. He has no choice but to oblige. “If I vaccuumb, will you leave mbe alonde?”

Alciel gives him a once over. “Are you crying?”

Lucifer scowls and pushes past him, easily dodging the retaliatory shove aimed in his direction. He grabs the vacuum and finds the switch, and—the bag is full. “What a pain,” he bemoans. “You used it last, Alciel!”

“Call me Ashiya!”

“It’s just us,” he mutters, sniffling again. “Can’t you switch this out?”

“I have dinner on the stove!”

Lucifer shudders at the thought of having udon yet again. If he suggests ordering out, he knows it’ll just result in more headache, so he kneels down to replace the bag. There are only so many buttons on the thing, it’s obviously the one in the middle. He’s a whiz with technology. A natural. As is expected of a NEET. This should be—

Poof.

Yeah, no he fucked up.

The bag spills everywhere and Alciel shrieks at the mess. It’s all over Lucifer’s face, and he doesn’t have time to get a single word out before he's overcome with a sneezing fit. “Heh’edzshhu! Kxsch! Tchh’ih-tschh!-tschh! h’KSCHhh!”

“If you didn’t know how, you should’ve asked,“ Alciel lectures.

He holds up his hand to wave him off, unable to do much else other than try to get a breath in between the rapid sneezes. “hih’hHdtSChh! Ih’tchh!-kschh! Huhh!- hhihIHTShh!”

“Oh wow,” he says, tone changing abruptly, “You’re really allergic.”

Lucifer manages to shoot him a death glare with the two seconds he’s able to keep his eyes open before he jerks forward with another sneeze. Of course the earlier torture hadn’t been enough. “hehhySChh’ih!” he sneezes, voice cracking in desperation halfway through.

“Here, go wash your face, I’ll clean this up,” Alciel says, managing to sound guilty rather than amused.

The barrage of sneezing relents enough to let him get up to run to the bathroom. The floor hadn’t been particularly dirty before he’d attempted to vacuum, but it certainly is now.

“Hehdt’SCHH! Huhh..”

He flushes his eyes with water and then washes his face, the curtain of bangs in front of his eye getting dampened in the process. He buries his face in the nearby washcloth and immediately sneezes again. His throat is starting to become sore from it all, too. But something tells him his suffering will not be in vain. There’s no way they’ll pester him to clean again after this.

“Welcome home, My Lord!”

Lucifer steps out of the bathroom to see Alciel back over the stove. It’s alarming how adept he’s gotten at these chores. It doesn’t even make sense for him to need help. The floor is spotless again like nothing had happened.

“MgRonalds is doing an employee of the month program, and it comes with a bonus!” The Former Demon King and current part-time MgRonalds employee announces. If Lucifer weren’t so distracted right now, his ears would prick up at the word bonus almost as much as Alciel’s do. He starts to praise the endeavor when Lucifer’s nose betrays him again. It doesn’t matter that the allergen is long gone, the damage has already been done.

“hgSChh!”

“—just know you’ll be able to—”

“ihhtSChhiu!”

“—and hard work—”

“ihh’tSChh! KXSch!-tschh! Ihshh!”

“Are you okay, Urushihara?”

Lucifer gives him a lackluster thumbs-up before sneezing again. Satan takes a few steps forward and brings the back of his knuckles to the exposed part of Lucifer’s forehead. The urge to sneeze that’d been building recedes from the suddenness of the gesture, leaving his nose twitching in annoyance.

“He’s allergic to housework,” Alciel explains.

“Allergic to duh-dust.” Lucifer sniffles indignantly. “And ih’KSCHh! -a’dd guess what he made me do?” He at least manages to cover the sneeze in time, though his shirt is starting to look patchy with different portions of it darkened with spray.

Satan pats his head. “And yet, you did it anyway. Thank you for helping.”

“I’mb older thand you,” Lucifer hisses under his breath.

“From now on…I will do the dusting!”

“No, Sire!” Alciel protests, “It is my job to keep up with the housework. I will ensure it gets done!”

It’s so tacky. Lucifer walks away as they have a heated moment and returns to his place in front of the computer. His nose may be beyond fucked, but even he can smell the burning from the kitchen.

“Oh no! It’s my fault, I got distracted!”

“It’s okay, we’ll figure something else out. Or I’m sure it tastes…umm…”

“I’mb orderi’gg a pizza!” he says hoarsely. And for once, nobody protests.

#sneeze kink #snz #snz fic #sneeze fic #allergy snz #dust allergy

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stuffdtothemaxx · 2 months

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I’ve watched Haz//bin Ho//tel + Hell//uva Bo//ss over the last few weeks and there’s a few characters that I think would be fun to fatten up:

Luc//ifer: Someone love this man unconditionally and give him all the best that hell has to offer!! He deserves it!!

Ad//am: listen the first time we meet this bitch he’s going down on some ribs (haha get it cuz E//ve was made from his rib) and he just looks like he has a gut yknow. And he’d be so bossy about it too

V//ox: I think it would be so poetic if his perfect appearance was very slowly ruined but he doesn’t care and simply hypnotizes people to see the ideal version of him

Sto//las: HE NEEDS LOVE OKAY. I WANNA SEE HIM OVERDO IT WHILE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA

Bli//tzø: dude has so much trauma and he needs to be loved and cared for okay

#maxx.txt #hell//uva b//oss #haz//bin ho//tel

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attic-club-sandwich · 2 years

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To Ascend Again

Summary: After falling from the Celestial Realm, the seven brothers must rely on each other emotionally to cope with the loss of their sister, Lilith. Meanwhile, they are also trying to adjust to their new forms and heal both the physical and emotional wounds caused by the Celestial War. Their bonds become stronger than ever since the fall, and they learn to rise again from the calamity that befell them.

Genre: Angst/Hurt

cw: mentions of blood, mild descriptions of gore. Swearing.

A/N: Hi everyone! This is a WIP series based on the fall of the brothers from the Celestial Realm. Some dialogue is from the game and what we know so far, so proceed with caution. (may contain some spoilers).

Chapter 1: The Fall

It’s so bitterly cold.

The wind is too much.

It feels like sharp knives cutting through my body.

How long have I been falling?

My head hurts.

Will anyone be waiting for me at the bottom?

...If I ever reach it.

The now former Angel kept his eyes squeezed shut as he fell, bracing himself to land on the hard ground below him. Bracing himself to feel the pain envelop his body. Bracing himself to hear the sickening sounds of his bones crushing and contorting. He wasn’t sure if he’d live or die, but this was his punishment. This is what he deserves. But my brothers don’t, he thought.

My brothers…where are they?

Where’s Lilith?

Did she make it out alive?

Finally, the impact came. As he landed on the hard ground, a deafening, thunderous boom reverberated through the air. He let out a loud grunt before all the air escaped from his lungs. His eyes were open now, crimson orbs staring up at the moonlit sky. He lay there, eyes wide, his mouth gaping open and closed trying to regain his breathing. He wasn’t sure how long he stayed in that position when he began to hear footsteps coming towards him. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t run away. Whoever this was coming in his direction may as well finish him off.

The footsteps grew closer, and he could now hear that there were two sets. “Now what do we have here?” A gentle, but deep voice sounded beside him. “What’s your name?” it asked. He willed himself to look at who was now kneeling next to him. His half-lidded gaze met a golden, wide eyed stare. A stare that was framed by the most bright, red hair that he’d ever seen. “L-L..Luc…ifer…” he managed to croak out. “Hello Lucifer. My name is Diavolo. I’m the son of the Demon King. We’ve been sent here to help you.” Diavolo said, gently. His eyes quickly flicked over Lucifer’s body, assessing the damage. His clothes, previously worn in the celestial realm, were now in tattered shreds and blood stained. His newly formed horns caused more blood to seep from his temples. “Young Master, we must get him to the Castle right away.” Another voice chimed in. This one was softer. Lucifer flicked his gaze to the second demon. His stature was smaller than the red headed one, and donned clothes that resembled a Butlers. His eyes were emerald green, matching the tips of his hair that blended up into a raven black much like his own. Horns protruded from both of their heads, and only Diavolo had two very large sets of wings sprouting from his back. They’re here to….help me? Why not just leave me here to die? They’re demons after all, right?

Lucifer’s thoughts were interrupted as they heard another loud clap of thunder and a scream echo across the large stone structure that surrounded them. He instantly recognized the voice and his eyes shot open wide. Lilith! Completely disregarding the two Demons standing beside him, he mustered the strength to get to his feet. He ran, limping, over to the figure laying on the ground near a set of stone steps that he realized now lead up to a giant colosseum. “Please Lucifer! Hold on a second!” Diavolo called after him. Lucifer paid him no mind. His only priority right now was his little sister, who lay broken and bloody before him. “Lilith…sweet angel…” he murmured as he gently lifted her body onto his lap. Her eyes fluttered open, taking in her eldest brother's gaze. His eyes were full of nothing but sadness,pain…and so much anger. Her heart hurt for him. “Luci…” she sighed, as her eyes closed once more. Lucifer pulled her into an embrace, tears beginning to form in his eyes. He knew she was dying. Her wounds were far too severe as a result of the war. “Dammit…! This can’t be…How… How could this happen?” he sobbed.

As Lucifer sat holding his youngest sister, the two other Demons ran to his side. “Lucifer. She’s…” Diavolo began. “Please. Please help her…” Lucifer could only beg, tears now streaming down his face. His pride has been reduced to nothing.

Look at you, crying and begging a demon for help.

He could hear his father’s voice echoing in his head.

This is what you’ve become. So pathetic.

The second demon kneeled down beside them, placing his gloved hand on Lilith’s forehead. “Her injuries are quite severe. If she’s exposed to the Devildom air much longer, I'm afraid she’ll perish. She doesn’t have long…” the butler pronounced. “Barbatos, please…” Diavolo said, sternly. Lilith began to cough, which caused blood to run down her chin. Lucifer wiped it away with his hand. “I beg you Diavolo…Help her... I don’t care what happens to me. I just need you to save her.” Lilith’s breathing grew more and more shallow as he spoke. “If it means you’ll ensure that she stays alive, I’ll make any sacrifice I have to.” Diavolo blinked at the poor state of the demon sitting below him. “Alright. I’ll do it, but you will need to make a deal with me first.” Lucifer nodded. Who ever thought he’d be down here making deals with demons? “Tell me the conditions.” It was Diavolo’s turn to kneel next to the fallen siblings. “I need you to pledge complete loyalty to me. Be my right hand man. I’ll be going against the judgment of the Celestial Realm, so I need something in return.” Lucifer didn’t even think twice. “I agree. Please, do it now.” Diavolo bowed his head. “I’m going to reincarnate her as a human. She’ll be born as a human, and die as a human. However, she will have no memory of her life in the Celestial Realm throughout her mortality…” He paused before continuing, unable to meet Lucifer’s gaze. “...That includes memories of you.” Lucifer felt his heart lurch in his chest. He buried his face into Lilith’s white blonde hair and swore. Dammit. This isn’t what I meant, you demon! He thought, harshly. But if it ensures she’ll be alive and well…it was worth all of the sacrifices he needed to make. I have no choice. Lucifer bowed his head and brought his free hand up to place on his chest. He took a deep breath before stating firmly, “Diavolo, I hereby pledge my loyalty and allegiance to you!”

The Demon prince gave a curt nod as he took Lilith’s hand in his. He closed his eyes and began to mutter an incantation. Barbatos also bowed his head, joining in with Diavolo. Lucifer watched in fascination as Lilith’s body began to glow. His hand squeezed hers, and he willed himself to speak. “Lilith. Dear Sister…No matter how far apart we may be, no matter how much time passes, even if someday you’re no longer yourself…” Lucifer said, his voice trembling. “I’ll never forget you. And I’ll always pray that you find happiness…always…” His shoulders shook from the violent sobs that now began to wrack his body. Barbatos placed a hand on his back, attempting to sooth him. He continued to speak as his sister’s body began to fade away. “...I love you, Lilith.”

Once the spell was finished and Lilith’s body was no more, Diavolo stood and offered Lucifer his hand. “It is done. She’ll now be born again to live out a fulfilling life as a human.” Lucifer, now covered in a mix of Lilith’s blood and his own, began to wail. Diavolo took his hand away, unsure of how else the newly fallen angel would react. All he could do is stand and watch as Lucifer fell to his hands and knees on the cold, hard ground. He stayed like that, sobbing for a few moments more. That is until Lucifer noticed his own wings enveloping his body.He glanced at them, noticing that his six wings, once full of pristine white feathers, were now completely black, reminding him of his sick and twisted fate . He whimpered, bringing his hands up to run through his hair when his fingers brushed against something hard and foreign on his head. What the hell? He thought. Horns. Fuck.

Instantly, his sadness melted away and was replaced with an even stronger emotion. Wrath. Lucifer roared, and began tearing at his wings. Diavolo and Barbatos gasped, jolting forward to attempt to stop the newly transformed demon from injuring himself further. “Get AWAY!” Lucifer shrieked. Diavolo put a hand across Barbatos’s chest protectively. “Stay back. He’s losing control, but he’ll more than likely be unconscious soon. I don’t know how he’s still going.” he said, keeping his eyes on Lucifer. “Yes, Young Master.” Barbatos nodded, his eyes widening in fear as he watched the demon ripping and tearing at his beautiful, black wings. Lucifer screamed in pain, the sound of bones cracking and muscle ripping from his body. Black feathers were flying through the air and landing around the three demons. Lucifer tore off another wing and blood spattered onto the ground. This is all HIS fault. I’ve been reduced to THIS because of that bastard’s actions! His thoughts screamed at him. It’s all because of Micheal’s decision to kill Lilith. She did nothing wrong!

Lucifer moaned in agony as the last wing was ripped from his back. He began to grow dizzy, unsure if it was because of the pain or the intense wrath he was feeling. Finally, he dropped to the ground on his stomach, breathing heavily. The air was heavy and filled with the stench of blood. His vision began to blur. Lilith…my brothers… I love you…

“Barbatos, it’s time. We need to-” Diavolo began, but was interrupted as he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. A small whine sounded from beneath the pile of feathers that lay next to a now unconscious Lucifer. “What in the Devildom…?” he muttered, stepping closer to the pile. He could make out a form lying underneath all of the carnage from Lucifer’s outburst. He carefully dug through the bloody pile of feathers and bones to find a small figure of a child lying beneath. “Holy shit..”Diavolo breathed. Barbatos ran to his side, not quite believing what he was seeing. “Prince…What is it…?” He only shook his head in response. “We must take them both to my father. We shall retrieve the others as well.” Diavolo said grimly.

Part 2

Please let me know your thoughts! It really helps give me the encouragement and motivation I need to continue to work on these stories!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me lilith #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me fic #obey me writing #fanfiction #obey me one master to rule them all

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zensations35 · 1 month

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Watch My Back (Haz/bin)

WELP I didn't think I'd be whumping the short king before my deer boi but HERE WE ARE. I blame @instarsandcrime for my newfound simping after this absolute disaster of a man 🥵🥵🥵 and this got INDULGENT LET ME TELL YOU. Now, enjoy this fic based on a prompt by my aforementioned friend, where Alastor plays bodyguard to Lucifer and finds out Mr. Silly has a holy wound (and then unFoRtuNatELy gets whumped by the author). ;)

“Must I?”

Charlie gazes dolefully up at the Radio Demon, hands clasped in what some people (not Alastor of course) would call prayer.

“Pleeeease, Alastor?” she begs. She doesn’t ask for a lot, but this request seems…well. Strange. Really? A bodyguard for her father? Fathomless.

He sighs, bandwidth crackling. “Very well, though I really don’t see the necessity for it. Your father is quite capable of taking care of himself, you know.”

Behind them, Lucifer picks up a glass trinket between two sharp fingers to examine it, his mouth crooked and casual. As if connected to it by a wire, Niffty’s crimson hair stands on end. She all but teleports to Lucifer, startling him so suddenly, he drops the trinket, shattering it so it’s shards fan across the hard floor.

“Noooo!” Niffty bursts into tears, her tiny arms scrabbling to scoop up the pieces. “My new boyfriend got me that!” she wails.

Alastor hums. “On second thought, perhaps he could no sooner care for himself than tie his own shoelaces.”

Charlie resists the urge to smack him. “Alastor, you have to be nice.”

“Mm~ I’ve already agreed to help you. Let’s not push the limits of my capabilities.”

Charlie hurries off to give the news to her father while Alastor swaggers toward an empty table propped flush against a wall. Niffty hadn’t finished decorating this one, but Alastor has quite the idea for it anyway. He was just fluffing the long white petals when the pouting visionary of Hell stomps over.

His gaze crawls over the perennial plant and he scowls harder. “What are these?”

“Lilies! Aren’t they swell? I thought you’d appreciate some charm during your stay, oh esteemed one,” Alastor’s voice is sticky with sarcasm.

Lucifer scowls at the sadistically named plant. He sucks on his lips and Alastor suppresses a chuckle.

“Are you displeased, sir?”

“Hm, what?” Lucifer blinks out of his wayward thought. “No, of course not,” he thumps his cane on the plush carpet. “Do whatever. I don’t c--hiih!”

Lucifer jerks away, eyes pinched. He dips down with a strange, “IkPFShw!” The jerk of his limbs strikes a bronze anteater figurine and, again, sends the trinket crashing to the floor to break into pieces.

“NOOO!” Niffty screeches, flying to its rescue. “My other boyfriend made that for me!”

Lucifer’s fingers squeeze his moist cheeks and he sniffles thickly. “I…I do apologize, little one. I--”

She rears back and kicks him in the ankle. “You’re the wrong kind of bad boy!”

Lucifer grunts as she skitters away with the pieces tucked into the balloon of her apron.

Alastor smothers a snicker at his expense, antlers lengthening just a tick.

“Well,” Lucifer draws the word out, adjusting his crooked bowtie, ignoring the flush in his own cheeks. “I have errands to run--”

Charlie suddenly appears in the doorway as if the word ‘errands’ manifested her.

“You’re leaving?”

Lucifer’s lip forms a triangular frown. “I, uh,” his cheek feathers, “Sweetie, I have to make appearances now that I’m not…”

“Self isolating for years on end, with only negative self talk as your social activity, and trying to get through it by throwing yourself whole ass into repetitive passion projects that seem fulfilling at the time but end up not meeting your expectations just like your own self image?” Angel calls from the bar.

Everyone stares at the puffy porn star. Husk rolls up a newspaper and smacks him hard upside the head.

“Ow!”

Lucifer scratches his jaw anxiously. “Uh, yeah. That.”

Charlie masks her disappointment with a glimmering smile. “Well! I’m sure that will be a great bonding exercise for you and Alastor!”

The two men exchange wilted looks.

“Sshhhhhure sweetie!” Lucifer faux beams. He straightens his tophat and pats his thigh at Alastor as if coaxing a dog. “Come on attendant. Pip pip!”

Alastor’s teeth grind, smoke trailing as he follows behind the shorter King.

“Have fun!” Charlie waves her whole arm after them, fangs flashing in her winning smile. “Make good choices!!”

The bar Lucifer goes to is on the edge of the pentagram. The outside is brown brick partially crumbling but held together with thick, gristly magic. A scarred bouncer with gills and an oval mouth allows them in without a word.

Inside, the music is surprisingly tolerable. No thumps and booms, no bleats and drops like clubs Vox would have dragged Alastor to.

It’s…refreshing.

Lucifer makes a beeline for a corner clear of furniture but thick with an assortment of hellborn rulers and a few overlords. He must be making those appearances…

To Alastor’s right, a sinner catches his eye. A silver-haired demon with long rabbit ears and a plaited braid. Her features are guarded and soft with youth. She holds an empty glass, bone dry. A purple nail taps the rim, her eyes fixed on the bottom but not really seeing it.

Alastor pauses at the young woman, fingers curling tightly around his cane. The youth’s dull eyes flick to his and her soul bares for a fleeting moment.

Fear. Abuse. Mangled by hands more powerful and more able-bodied than she.

Alastor feels his blood ignite, his fangs sharpen with desire for vengeance.

The youth flinches, reacting to Alastor’s anger, not knowing the cause.

A faraway sound skirts the edge of his rage, strangely familiar, a twisting of lips and grating throat.

The sound snaps Alastor’s rage into shards and he blinks himself back into the noise around him. He circles toward the bar, moseying his way through the greasy crowd and leans in to hum statickly at the barkeep.

“Serve that young woman anything she wishes,” he gestures to the silver haired sinner.

The barkeep grunts, “She's gonna wait her turn.”

The Radio Demon growls, his height and timbre climbing several inches. “Apologies…I was not clear.” His claws cut jagged lines into the wooden counter. “I meant Ń̷̤̫��̄̽͆̈̏͐͜O̶̭͂̃͑̚W̶̧̡͙͍̊́͆̾̚͠”

The barkeep swallows and nods. And moves to obey.

Now, where the fuck is his highness?

Lucifer has buried himself in the cloud of sinners and hellborn. Alastor doesn’t recognize some of them. He doesn’t move in those circles--not for lack of trying.

They’re chittering away like warbling fowls.

‘So and so! Good to see you!’

‘It’s been too long!’

‘How are things on your side of the pit?;

‘Still tormenting in the ancient methods?’

‘Have you seen the big guy in charge?’

‘Oh he’s still jacking off to his thunderbolts AH HAH HAAA’

Dreadfully boring.

One of the more vibrant hellborn cracks a joke and Lucifer tosses his head back in laughter. It sounds fake as fuck.

Something slips under Alastor’s foot, giving him pause. It’s the scent--something venerated and familiar...

He looks down and sees a spatter of gold dotting the grimy tile, with a larger puddle at the tip of his shoe.

Curious, Alastor taps his cane to the floor, leveraging himself so he can kneel. He bends low enough to dip a claw over the silken, rippling surface.

As soon as his skin warms with the liquid, his nerves purr. The buzz tingles up his body and he shivers violently.

His throat crackles, “Hvv٨ﮩSH٨ـﮩZh!”

Smoke mists from him and he wrenches away from the puddle, wiping his hand on the end of his coat. Hmph. A strange enigma…

His ears twitch, picking up another trill of laughter from the gaggle surrounding Lucifer. How long is he going to put up this farce?

Alastor watches the king of Hell intently and recognizes uneasiness in his firelit eyes. Definitely a veneer, batting away personal inquiries and distracting with jokes or redirecting by asking after the speaker.

Oh, clever bitch he thinks he is. Alastor sees right through him. The Radio Demon hones in on the audio, intent now on eavesdropping.

“...majesty,” a thatchy demon gurgles, boisterously laughing along with a large forked claw grasping his square belly. “How’s the wife?”

Lucifer’s smile slips, brief, and the gleam in his eyes dim. “Oh, fine, fine. Beautiful as ever, of course. And how is your partner? Are you still dating the Y2K virus?”

The square demon barks a laugh. “Oh, no no no. We broke up ages ago. Toxic as fuck. Noooo, I’m dating Vine now. You wouldn’t believe the cosplay sex--”

Lucifer slaps his chest and gasps. “Vine died??”

Alastor groans. What the fuck are they talking about?

Lucifer suddenly makes a jerking motion, mirrored by a violent squeak. Alastor’s heart races when he sees the King wince and bend in what looks to be a pained twist.

Fuck! Is he actually being attacked? Alastor vanishes in a cloud of spindly shadow, reappearing next to Lucifer and spurring shocked gasps from a few of the rulers in the group.

“Your highness,” the Radio Demon titters, with as much respect as he can fucking muster.

“H-hgxPST!” Lucifer’s raspy sneeze bursts into a squeezed fist, startling Alastor, who hesitates his next sentence.

Was he wrong? Did he overreact and now he came to Lucifer’s rescue over…a fucking sneeze? Rrrgh. Shame sharpens his claws around his microphone and anger shortly follows. How does this asshole even sneeze without a nose??

Lucifer scrubs his face with his palm and lets out a ridiculous whoop.

“Hooo! Sorry about that! Didn’t mean to scare ya, buddy,” he jabs Alastor with his elbow as if they were best friends. Alastor’s teeth powder with the effort of restraint.

“No worries your hig̵͐h̶̘̕n̴̡̕e̴s̵͛٨ـs.” his smile climbs nearly into his eyes. “I am here to serve.” He hooks his arm under Lucifer’s, linking elbows so the King cannot escape and dragging him away, ignoring the startled protests of the shorter man.

Alastor stops when he arrives at the golden droplets and releases Lucifer before tapping his cane on the floor. “Have you seen this?” he asks, cracking his neck to the side inquisitively.

Lucifer rubs his finger over his chin and hrms.

“Ah, well,” he shrugs, barely looking at Alastor, “Someone must have spilled ambrosia I suppose.”

Alastor’s brows shoot up. “Ambrosia? What, may I ask, is that?”

He didn’t think it was possible for someone so ceramically pale to whiten further, but Lucifer seems to do just that. “Ahhhmmm, nevermind…” Lucifer’s fingers brush the hem of his suit and his face crimps. He clears his throat and slithers away.

“Will you excuse me for a moment?”

Alastor scoffs. Even if he might have been wrong about the sneeze, there’s a chance he isn’t. And his gut is telling him something’s amiss. He’s not about to let this asshole swan off alone. “Oh, I’m sorry, but I was charged with your care, your grace. I have a duty, you see~”

Lucifer’s eyebrow twitches, annoyance painting his face with a flush. “I assure you, I can use the fucking restroom by myself,” he gives a fangy smirk.

“In a dump like this?”

“Alastor, leave me the fuck. Alone.”

Before Alastor can press further, Lucifer does indeed swan off. The door to the restroom clips shut, separating him from the King.

What a dramatic wretch. Well, a door won’t stop a demon. A clattering rap with the back of Alastor’s hand causes a thump from within followed by a vexed, “Occupied!”

“Obviously. Yet I am entering regardless.” Alastor grips the warm knob. It rattles, hinges reisting as Lucifer’s protests grow increasingly less convincing.

“I’m--hhh! I’m fi--Ihh! Hii! XSH! Ehk’SHHh-HieWW!”

Yeah fucking right. Alastor better fucking get in there or Charlie will have a field day with rainbow sprinkles.

A flurry of sound, thudding and grunts of…is he in pain? God dammit! Miserablefuckingcocksuckingpieceof--

Finally the door wrenches open. Alastor wades inside and a wash of humid air hits his skin, making him cringe. Lucifer is bent over the white marble sink, heaps of tan paper towels littering the counter, some having fluttered around his feet dark and anointed with a glittering substance.

His face is currently wrapped in the crook of his elbow and his shoulders shudder with heaving breaths, “IX’SHWW! HF’pSHW!” His sleeve absorbs most of the sound but it still sounds truly dreadful, “Nghh…”

Alastor grumbles disapprovingly, “I am starting to suspect you’re lying, sir.”

Lucifer’s hat lies to the side, top down and limp, as well as his cane. A clawed hand grips the sawed edge of the counter, the King holding himself steady as he shakes with the effort of his labored breaths.

“I told you,” his voice is low and serious now, no hint of his playful kinder. “To stay. Out.” Something drips on the tile next to him. The same liquid Alastor saw before--raw, angelic blood.

“So you did take a blade.”

Lucifer growls, moving his hand to cover the wound, but all he ends up doing is smearing his clothes slick with the gleaming fluid.

Alastor tuts, “You should have told me, you know.” He sets his cane against the wall and moves closer to Lucifer, stretching his arm out toward the injured side.

Lucifer lashes out, grasping his wrist with his free hand, “Don’t.”

The Radio Demon pauses, staring into his haunted eyes.

“The blood will…affect you.”

“A-hah! You think I care?”

“I think you put yourself first. I think you’d love to see me wither here if it keeps your pompous ass safe.”

Alastor grimaces and yanks away from his weak grasp. In an electric snap, Lucifer’s shirt is bunched in his fist and he is pulling the King in close. He speaks in static, voice measured and quicksilver cruel.

“Your assumption that I have an agenda would be correct, m̴y̶ ̷͋K̸i̴ng̶̈͗. And it does not involve you dying.”

Lucifer’s chest inflates but he doesn’t retaliate.

Alastor releases Lucifer, features retracting with his mood. “Now, let’s see this wound.”

“There’s nothing you can do for it,” Lucifer mutters as he painfully shirks his jacket.

“Your capacity for being misguided is astounding,” Alastor drums his fingers on the counter, claws clacking. “Show me.”

The jacket falls to the floor and the wound is fully revealed: twin slashes crisscrossing his side, a glossy expanse of wounds just below his left rib.

“And these wounds cause you to…?”

Lucifer massages the circle of his cheek with a sigh, “I’m just…not handling it well.”

“You’re pushing yourself.”

“Not…not so much--I--” his face falls and air corckscrews through his teeth, “Ng-Eh’KPSH!! EiiSHH-iieuww!”

His wound flares bright with the gilded liquid and Alastor seals his lids against the blinding light.

“Alright,” Alastor moves closer, positioning himself to spread his hands above the slit of seeping light. Lucifer watches with interest as the Radio Demon’s eyes gleam black like the shells of tiny beetles. Runes pop and fizzle over the glowing shreds.

Lucifer’s eyes widen as he watches the runes morph and vellicate. “What magic--”

“Quiet.”

“But, those runes. I know--”

“I said silence٨ـ.”

“No, Alastor. Where the fuck--”

Alastor wrenches back, magic dissipating, but his eyes remain inky with rage. His fist slams against the wall, cracking a line in the frail plaster. “You and I both know your idiot act is just that! An act. You know exactly what I can do, so stay still and quit prattling.”

The lilies.

Lucifer’s lips guppy open and closed. “Your deal. It was…”

Alastor grunts, frustration rippling the bandwidth of his voice. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you don’t want to be healed.”

He pushes his own sleeves up to the bend of his elbows, anchoring them to his forearms. Then, he pinches the hem of his pinstripe coat and tears it in a full around strip. His pupils float toward the King’s body, hesitant. Static clings to the air as he nears the wound.

Lucifer flinches instinctively. “I’m warning you, it will--”

“Affect me, yes yes. I’ve touched angel blood before.”

“I’m an archangel, Alastor.”

Alastor rolls his eyes. Will he just shut the fuck up already?

The Radio Demon presses the cloth against the holy wound, adhering it instantly. Lucifer’s skin is hot like a freshly lit fire. Alastor feels the effect of the pale poison straightaway. He clamps his jaw, brow creasing as his skin beads with sweat.

Lucifer winces, claws carving slits into the counter. As Alastor works the strip around his midsection, his teeth grind against the shudders of breath battling in his throat.

“Your hands are shaking.”

“Shut ũ̷̼͆̇͑̈̄́́̏̉̚̕͝͝ͅp̴̰̪͎̲̲̗͎͝. Alastor’s voice crackles.

Lucifer's lip wobbles. “Hvvv-nn!” a hiss of indrawn air.

“Don’t do that now.”

“It’s not my hhhih choice!”

“Can’t you just--”

“He-eih KSHHieeψ!” The filaments buzz within the light bulbs, flickering them into darkness and then back into squinting light. As Lucifer wracks forward, it jostles Alastor’s hands and breaches his careful conservation, smearing his wrists with gold.

He dips back, chin tilting as his throat buzzes with a snap of energy. “Hhh--ehhh-HH!”

“Dammit, Alastor--”

“Too late--hhh-for tha-HH٨ـZZT٨ـY!” He pushed his fist to his nose, using pressure against the damp rim of his nostrils to chase away the itch. Not to any measure of success. “HK! ﮩ٨ـﮩZZ!” A wail grates in Lucifer’s ear and he recoils.

“You’re making it worse,” Lucifer twists with a grunt, grabbing some of the towels to clean Alastor’s cheek.

“I don’t--hih-nn eed…”

“Heaven alive can we both stop with this cocky bullshit. Truce, okay? Or would you rather spend all day in here sneezing with me?”

R̷͕̪̤̈́̓r̸̳̻̕͠rg̵̡̞͊̔͝ẖ̷͉͋̐jh̵̜͇̦͐̉ Alastor saws at his face, each motion crackling with energy. “Very well, get it over hhhhﮩ٨ـﮩ-! With.”

Lucifer works with the towels to wipe away the smears while Alastor finishes knotting the makeshift bandage. Once they’re done they both pull back with twin sniffles and a bucket of awkwardness in the empty air.

Alastor shunts his gaze, ignoring the gnawing in his chest. Lucifer cleans up the scattered flaxen towels and starts burning them until their ashes film the ground. The scent of honey and seeded mulch fills the room, like no bonfire Alastor had ever attended.

Four papers remaining, Lucifer finally speaks.

“How do the humans handle it?”

Alastor knits his brow. “Handle what?”

“Losing. Over and over.”

Alastor’s lips press firm. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.”

Lucifer finally looks at him then, his mouth a small circle. He doesn’t pursue. He flicks the last of the ash off his fingers and sucks in a breath.

“Well,” his orange eyes meet the Radio Demon’s, “shall we head back? Tell Charlie we had a…bonding exercise?”

Alastor laughs. It’s more real than he’d laughed in…ages. “Details aside?”

Lucifer offers a genuine, if modest smile. “Agreed.”

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